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(This is less things you said at 1 am and more the lads being fools at 1 am. Id like to think they’re one in the same.)

1. Things you said at 1 am

“If you two idiots don’t shut the fuck up I’m out of this relationship.” Michael’s voice floats back to them in a hiss.

“Michael-” Jeremy begins, not sure how he’s going to defend the quiet argument they’d been having.

Micool!” Gavin whispers, almost simultaneously.

“You be quiet, you’re not helping.” Jeremy says with a firm poke between Gavin’s shoulder blades. To be fair, Gavin is blaming this all on Jeremy, which is ludicrous.

“Jack is gonna fuckin kill us.” Michael says grimly.

It’s a very late Monday night, and the lads are sneaking into the penthouse because they’re teenagers again, apparently. The unfortunate part is that somehow, despite being three grown men and successful criminals, they don’t have one key among them. They’d attempted to get in via window, but that had proven to be a flawed plan.

“Jack’ll be annoyed but just roll her eyes at us. Fiona is gonna murder us if we wake her up.” Jeremy says. He’s crossing his fingers that she wears earplugs to bed or something. They’re making their way back down the fire escape, and somehow he’d wound up in the back.

“Nah, Fiona would never hurt me! We’re Team Chungə!” Gavin glances back at him, a bright smile on his face.

“You need to be part of Team Shut The Fuck Up.” Michael is in front, climbing down yet another ladder.

“Michael that’s not a real team.”

“It would be if you would just-”

“Shut the fuck up?” Jeremy supplies, voice dissolving into a quiet giggle at the end. He’s trying his best not to lose his cool up here. Heights are not exactly his favorite thing.

“Fuckin thank you, J. You know what, you get to stay.” They’re about halfway down, and it’s not getting any easier.

“You guys are the worst boyfriends ever.” Gavin says, and the pout in his voice is clear.

They lapse into a comfortable quiet, just following one another down ladder after ladder. That none of them, there members of the most notorious crew in the city, can’t figure out how to pick the lock is astounding. That they couldn’t even remember a key might be worse.

“We should’ve just called Matt, he’s probably still up.” Gavin says just as they’re reaching the third story.

Michael stops just short of the ladder, Gavin and Jeremy stumbling into him immediately. He turns back to stare at Gavin. “Why the fuck didn’t you say that when were at the front fuckin door?”

“I didn’t think about it til we were already trying the window!”

“Gavin.” Jeremy reaches up, puts a hand on his shoulder. “You know I love you more than life itself, and I think you have a lot of moments of brilliant clarity-”

“I don’t like that you’re already backpedaling.” Gavin interrupts, voice doubtful.

“But you do realize Matt also could’ve opened the fucking window, right?”

There’s a moment of silence, save for the general noise of Los Santos. Gavin breaks into an embarrassed smile. “Oh. Yeah he probably could have.”

“Fuckin oh!” Michael turns back to the ladder, but Jeremy catches the exasperated smile he has. “Idiot.” He mutters fondly.

They troop down the rest of the way without incident, and Jeremy calls Matt when they’re back in the elevator. There’s a bit of grumbling from Matt’s end, something about not understanding “how three grown ass men don’t have a single key between them.” Regardless of his aggravation, he lets them in and the three morons head to Michael’s room.

“At least I thought of Matt eventually.” Gavin is saying as he launches himself to the middle of the bed. “Jeremy was ready to break down the damn door!”

“Kicking in and breaking down are two very different things, Gav.” Jeremy wants it to be clear, just in case Trevor or Geoff should ever catch wind of what almost happened. He settles himself between Gavin and the wall, as per usual.

“Equally dumb though.” Michael laughs. He pauses in front of the dresser. “Uh guys?” He starts laughing again. “I have some fucked up news.”

“What?” Jeremy asks, kicking off his jeans. Maybe he should’ve gotten undressed before he laid down, but alas. There’s a quiet moment before it dawns on him. “Michael no.”

Michael turns around slowly. He’s struggling to get the words out between giggles. “So, remember the other day when I stuck my key in my wallet for safe keeping?”

Michael!.” Jeremy cannot believe this has happened.


Oh my god!” Gavin says, in what can only be described as a quiet shriek. He rolls toward Jeremy, burying his face in his chest. Just before he makes contact, Jeremy can see tears in his eyes from laughter. “We’re so stupid.” He mumbles.

“We- we really do belong together, don’t we?” Jeremy says, hooking an arm around Gavins waist.

“We almost make one responsible adult.” Michael says before clicking off the light and slipping into bed beside Gavin.

“Almost.” Jeremy echoes.

“We’re not quite there, but if one of us remembered shit? Man, we’d be unstoppable.” Michael says with a laugh.

There’s a bit of shuffling as they all get comfortable, blankets moved up and down until they’re all happy with it. Michael curls himself around Gavin’s other side, and they all breathe a sigh of quiet contentment. After a few moments, Jeremy is nearly asleep.

Gavin breaks the quiet one last time. “Guys?" 

"Yeah Gav?” Jeremy keeps his voice pitched low, unsure if Michael is out yet.

“We’re dumb.”

Jeremy only chuckles, pressing a gentle kiss to Gavin’s forehead. Truer words have never been spoken. At least they have fun.

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Ryan broke my heart as he did many people.

For the last few months I’ve been writing and editing- getting ready to post my stories to this tumblr. 

I don’t condone what he did. And I wasn’t sure if I was going to post anything involving him.

But, I’ve decided the Ryan I wrote isn’t the real life him. So I’m going to keep writing my version of him. Who we all thought of him as.

If you don’t like that, then just don’t read my stuff. Silently judge me, I don’t care. Just please don’t leave rude comments or shit like that. I have enough bullshit to deal with in my life.

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I’m still working on my fic, although the recent AH stuff did really throw me off. But I am working on it!

in the meantime I put together a playlist for fahc! Chilled if anyone’s interested, will try to update it occasionally as I write the character ✨

Reblogging with link because Tumblr is bad

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send me a ship and i’ll tell you:

  who reaches out to new neighbors

They’re both pretty good about interacting with neighbors, but Alfredo is the one to notice that someone new moved in. Plus he can be a paranoid motherfucker, so he’s gotta check them out and make sure they’re not like… serial killers or something.

(“Alfredo you’re literally the sniper for the most notorious gang in the country, and I’ve taken more hit jobs than the average person has jobs.”

“Ok but that’s work, that’s different.”

    who remembers to buy healthy food

They both make a conscious effort to eat healthy, try to eat at home, etc. It’s mostly Jeremy though, because he’s usually the one shopping for groceries.

    who remembers to buy junk food

Alfredo, because a treat now and then is good for you, actually, it’s motivation-

“You bought three boxes of Ring Dings!”

“Listen you asked me to come shopping, not my fault if some things jumped in the cart.”

    who fixes the oven when it breaks

They work together to accidentally break it even more before they call Michael to come help.

    who waters the plants/feeds their pet(s)

Jeremy is the plants guy, because they tend to blend into the background for Alfredo.

Alfredo’s got a whole system for the pet food though. It mostly involves keeping the dog from the cats because he’ll eat all of their food if given the chance.

    who wakes up earlier

They usually get up at the same time, and often because of Trevor’s incessant phone calls.

    who makes the bed

Alfredo. Once upon a time he didn’t care, but Jeremy was the one to really introduce him to the wonderful feeling of climbing into a nicely made bed at the end of a long day. There’s no going back now, even when Jeremy’s not as worried about it anymore.

    who makes the coffee

Alfredo starts it. Jeremy is oddly hopeless when it comes to a coffee machine. He’s either got way too many scoops of coffee, or not enough. He does make the individual cups though.

    who burns breakfast

Jeremy, although it doesn’t happen often. He’s a fairly good cook, even if his pancakes get a little over done sometimes.

Inserting this because I do what I want:

  • Their morning really boils down to routine, order of operations. They wake up to some crew notification, while Jeremy showers and gets dressed Alfredo makes the bed/starts the coffee/feeds the pets. They switch off, Alfredo goes to shower and get dressed while Jeremy makes breakfast, pours the coffee, tells Trevor they’re totally on their way (they’re not.)

    how do they let each other know they’re leaving the house

By yelling each other’s names at the top of their lungs like idiots. They’ve gotten more than one noise complaint.

    how do they greet each other when one of them gets home

Also by yelling, but a little more subdued. It’s no wonder they get new neighbors so often, actually.

    who brings home little gifts like flowers/chocolates more often

They both do pretty equally! Jeremy likes to bring home dumb souvenir type t-shirts as a ‘i was thinking about you’ type thing. Alfredo will bring back beanies to keep Jeremy’s bald head warm.

    who picks the movie for movie night

They trade off! They don’t really have a set night, so it’s usually born out of “hey we should watch this tonight!”

    their favorite kind of movie to watch

Pretty much anything that’s not horror or scary at all. There was one night they got about half an hour into the original It, and then Alfredo got too freaked out and they watched Disney movies the rest of the night.

    who first suggests a pillow fort

Alfredo, because “man I just want to be a kid again, forget about clowns and all that shit”

“Oh, like the kids in The Losers Club?”

“Jeremy why”

    who builds the pillow fort

Jeremy, as both an apology and because Alfredo refuses to turn his back on any dark shadows in the apartment.

“Fredo it’s not even real, the closest we’re gonna get to a murderous clown is Fiona in the Po costume.”

“But what if we’re wrong? I’m not taking chances dude.”

    who tries to distract the other during the move

Alfredo, out of payback for making him watch even part of a scary movie. He makes numerous attempts to scare Jeremy, grabbing his shoulder or yelling suddenly. It backfires, because he somehow ends up scaring himself more.

Jeremy still throws popcorn at him to make him feel a little better about it.

    who falls asleep first

Jeremy, because by the time Fredo gives up on the jumpscare thing, he’s fuckin exhausted. Turns out building a fort takes a lot of him. Plus like… He’s had a few beers, he’s nice and warm, and Alfredo is tucked into his side like he still needs protection from Hades on screen. He could not be more content and relaxed.

    who is big spoon/little spoon

Other than nights like these, when Alfredo is still picturing Tim Curry’s face, they kind of alternate. One of them will roll over in bed, reaching out for the other. Just this little moment of 'hey we’re here together, I love you, I want you close to me.’

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Yall send me your fahc headcanons ill start

Everyone thinks the Golden boy has this huge lavish apartment but in reality he has a much more cozy apartment in an old building. He had the whole building restored to its historical specifications and fills the place with plants and books. It reminds him of being back in England. Only Michael knows about this apartment.

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