#Family is hard

[wordsimnormalabt]

“Everyone’s ready to throw a punch over Bruce as much as they’re ready to hit Bruce most days,”

-When The Moon Hits Your Eye-

Whaleofatime ao3

#family is hard #love and hate existing side by side #the dichotomy of Batman #kindness through harm #fanfic #fanfic quotes #dcu #batfam #bruce wayne #batman #tim drake #damian al ghul #dick grayson #jason todd #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #cassandra wayne

[helloimawitchwannaseemycauldron]

you're not a punching bag that your strength will be measured by how much abuse you can take.

sincerely, to all young girls and women— you are a Person, and do not exist to fulfill other people's expectations of you, and just to make others happy. Put yourself before people who won't put you before themselves;

ps- SELF CARE IS NOT— EVER— SELFISH,

never let anyone convince you otherwise— break all ties with Anyone who does. No, you don't owe them ANYTHING.

ABUSERS ARE NOT FAMILY.

Umm also.. LOVERS AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE ABUSIVE EITHER.

OR FRIENDS.

Drop such bags of trash.

#self care #self defence #mental health #mentalheathawareness #girl code #girls protecting girls #family is hard #family is exhausting #oldest daughter #awareness #abuse awareness

[monachopsis-11]

After another lovely weekend of struggling with chores and arguing with my dad about it my little sister offered to switch with me. I’ve always kind of been her protector and I tried really hard to protect her before the divorce and now I can’t do that anymore which hurts so much after I spent my childhood sacrificing my feelings so she’d never have to feel alone how I did. But today she was my little guardian Angel and I’m so grateful even though it hurts my dad couldn’t just make the one accommodation I actually asked for.

On the less bright side my dad told me to just live with my mom, I’m trying to take care of myself and stop feeling responsible for their feelings for the first time in my life and do something that’s healthy for me and that hurt. He’s hurt and lashing out like a child but can he not see how ridiculous it is that he’d rather not see me anymore than accommodate me in one tiny way?

After this we went to the store and bought some snacks and socks- just stuff like that and it went better but he had a conversation with my sister later and just feel about and was silent and grouchy all night.

Then I heard him screaming in his bedroom about how “everyone fucking hates him even though he tries so hard and he’s doing his fucking best!” He has to know that the door isn’t sound proof but thank god my sister said she didn’t hear what he said and I think she was telling the truth. I’m just so confused, no one said anything about hating him, I asked for one small accommodation and told him I wasn’t happy with the decisions I’d already told him I wasn’t okay with before he made them (a fact he claims to have forgotten???)

I feel so awful because hyper empathy sucks like that and I don’t understand. He’s a good person and he loves us and works harder than anyone I’ve ever met but he uses those things to justify every bad decision he makes before running to his girlfriend and spilling all my deepest secrets like I didn’t talk to him about something difficult in confidence and she backs up his toxic beliefs.

To be honest I think she’s influencing him, telling him everything he’s doing is right and perfect and we’re just kids who need to adjust? I have no idea if it’s on purpose but he and my mom also have much more severe issues since she came into the picture and she just seems like the nicest person ever but I saw some texts between her and my mom on accident and she was awful.

I think she just lets people walk all over her and then redirects or represses that anger until it leaks out onto something else and I have no idea if its genuine because I’ve seen so this weird side of her.

And my moms hurting and my dad is angry and my sister has had to grow up after being the youngest minded person I’ve met and now she’s hurting and angry and she doesn’t know why.

I have no idea how this keeps falling on my shoulders and I’m exhausted.

Sorry for the long post I really just needed to rant, if anyone actually reads this I’m desperate for advice.

#sorry for the rant #rant post #autistic experiences #actually autistic #autistic women #self diagnosed autism #invisible disability #autistic meltdown #ableist bullshit #please give me advice #emotional dysregulation #post meltdown #spoonie #divorced parents #child of divorce #family issues #family is hard #hyper empathy #eldest daughter syndrome

[th3distorti0n]

im so angry. im angry all of the time, it eats me alive. i have all of this anger from 19 years of living that i never had a chance to let out. i have all of this, just bottleted up inside me. i dread and i yearn for the Day i Will just explode. i dread the People ill Hurt. i yearn for the feeling of freedom. i dread my mothers tears. i yearn for the understading ill try and put on her shoulders

this Day Will never come. ill never explode, Thats just not how i work. and i dont think theyll ever understand.

its just the way it is.

and the anger gets bigger...one Day therell be no place for anything else.

i apologize in advence for what i became

#vent post #venting #family issues #family is hard #this dog will never get out of its cage

[icarusthefoolish]

My cousin turned 29 i just told him happy birthday but gave my mom the phone back really quickly because what do i even talk about with him?

Like i barely have any contact to him because he lives in a completely different state and the last time i saw him was on my Grandma's 70th birthday which was back in 2015 i think? And even then we barely talked because he's basically 10 years older then me and i see him once every blue moon.

And that goes for both of my cousins even when we were younger we didn't really do much my sister and my cousins had a good relationship when they were children but I didn't because i don't talk to them because we barely visit my mums part of the family.

Like I'm awkward with interactions anyway taking to family I don't have much contact to makes it even worse.

I have more contact with my Grandma (mom's side) and my aunt then my two cousins. Because they at least try to talk to me even if it's just to say happy birthday.

Like whenever my aunt congratulates me i kind of expect something from my Uncle or my cousin's even if it's just something small like happy birthday but i get nothing.

#aiko talks #aikos shit posts #family is hard

[moral-disorder]

I've started talking quite bluntly to my mum, after years and years of being trained by her to tread carefully around her, and pick my words so carefully to manage her reactions.

And I'm tired of it, and it makes me angry that I was trained to do that. So I consciously don't anymore.

Sadly the outcome of that is that my dad cops a lot of shit from my mum bc she cannot manage her own emotions, but she also knows now that I won't put up with her putting her reactions on me. So she saves them for my dad to deal with.

And I'm torn bc I don't want to make things worse for him. But I also don't want to go back to bending over backwards to make sure nothing I say will upset my mum.

I kind of think he should also change the way he deals with mum, bc the way we have always done it, only benefits mum and puts so much back on us. But I can't make him do that. And he has his own reasons and his own relationship with my mum.

So idk. I like so much talking to her like she is an equal adult who I can speak to directly. But there's fallout.

#personal #psych notes #Family is hard #Mothers are harder #Idk what I'll do #Maybe it's not even fair that dad has put this back on me

[marne-nu-jee-krda]

I've deserved the happiness i feel these days, i wont let anyone take it away from me. I've been such a good girl to everyone. yes, i may talk back to to you, mother but that doesn't mean I'm abad person. it so doesn't. I've deserved this, really. i have. I've put my happiness aside for everyone else's. I've tried to make everyone happy around me, at all points. i never make any body shaming jokes just in case anyone ever felt insecure, even if they do it with me all the time. i put everyone's feeling at top of my own, SO IM NOT GOING TO LISTEN TO YOU SAYING SHIT ABOUT THINGS. you don't know me, you never did. and funnily enough, you never tried to either.

#mommy issues #family issues #familia #family is hell #family is hard #trauma #family trauma #desiblr #desi tag #chaotic academia #chaotic academic aesthetic #desi parents

[lifeonkylesfarm]

family members literally will insult you to your face and then wonder why you avoid them. my grandpa called me a pussy because I hesitated to eat a deviled egg. my cousin and my aunt have both directly and indirectly called my mom a bad mother (they are from my dad's side, so she's literally not related to these people other than by marriage), my grandma called my dad pathetic for playing video games. I know I don't have the worst family stories (there are worse ones I don't want to share, but regardless, I know that shit does not go down that hard in my family compared to some other families) but it sucks nonetheless. I avoided my grandpa for a long time and now I still avoid him but somewhat less. I'm always mad at him though cause of how he treats my dad.

#toxic family #family issues #family angst #family troubles #family is hard #family fight #family conflict #family bullshit #family bs #annoying family

[ijuststareatstuffhereok89]

I love Cinema Therapy. This is why.

#cinema therapy #asgardians #loki #thor #odin #hela #frigga #MCU #family is hard #loki laufeyson #thor odinson #hela odindottir #thor love and thunder #thor ragnarok

[astrogenica]

listen i love my dad and i know he does his best okay. but the way he treated me like a son my entire childhood right up until puberty started and then immediately rejected me was really fucking hard. it actually fucked me up a lot. it hurt. it still hurts. i remember the way he yelled at me when he saw my first used pad in the trash because "you're supposed to wrap that shit up, i don't wanna see or touch that!" i think it was the first time i ever felt ashamed of puberty. i remember him remarking on how much i was eating, but no longer in a positive light, talking about a healthy appetite- in a "you're gonna get fat if you keep that up" way. i think it was the first time i was ashamed of my eating habits; i went vegetarian soon after. i remember how he threw a tantrum when i decided to quit sports in high school and focus on theatre (because the coach was really mean and the girls kept sexually harassing me) - the rant was about the waste of money, "because why did i even bother buying you equipment you're not going to use?", neglecting the fact i'd already worn it out to bits over the years and that i still wanted to go outside and play catch with him. but i knew what it was really about- he was losing me, he thought. he didn't care that i still wanted to practice, that i still wanted to play catch with him. we never did play catch again. i remember him refusing to look at me if i wore something he felt was too revealing, i remember how upset he got when i wore heels and was suddenly taller than him, i remember how mad he got the first time he saw me leaving for work as a waitress wearing red lipstick, i remember i remember i remember.

i'd been ready to come out, then. or so i thought. but feeling my father's rejection - followed closely by my uncles, my grandfather - made me second-guess that. he clearly didn't want a son in me anymore- he was already looking to my brother for that, waiting for him to come into his own masculinity as he grew up, seeing the start of it somewhere in his boyish little face. no, he wanted me to be his daughter now - now, when i was finally ready to give up the word, when i was finally ready to be his actual son - but without his support, or my grandfather's, or my uncles', or my community as a whole's... in addition to the fact that my mother had always always always wanted a girly girl... i fawned. i femininized. if everyone was going to treat me like a girl now because my body was changing in ways i didn't even like, against my will, then fine. i'd be a girl. i'd be a daughter. and i'd be the best daughter. because i don't just have a brother - i have a sister too. one my father was not allowed to be there for due to extremely messy circumstances and a crazy ex-wife - one he was looking for me to replace now, instead. and i've essentially been trying to do that since middle school, only really starting to be my true self again years after i left home. no longer trying to be the stand-in kid. no longer trying to be a double-sided cardboard replicate of what a son or daughter should be. just being me, no matter what that is. which at this point seems to be just. me. there's male, there's female, there's son, there's daughter, and then there's me. not quite either. just some kid.

don't get me wrong, i'm glad he's closer with my brother and that they actually get along now cause for a while there they were having their own problems too. and i know he has trauma around father-daughter stuff thanks to how things went down with my sister, i get it. but the way he 180'd on me during such a difficult time in my life... i really needed my dad. and i didn't feel like i could talk to him. i barely felt like i was allowed to exist around him. i hated asking him for anything because it felt like he got angry every time i opened my mouth. there was a while there, before i left home, where i really thought my dad hated me. and though i know he doesn't and never did now, it did do lasting damage.

i think the worst part of it all, though, is i can't talk to him about any of this. his own mental health is too fragile. my choices are to tell him how he fucked me up and watch him tank himself with guilt, or never say a word and let him keep the solace that comes with knowing he did mostly right by at least one of his kids. no matter what, i'll be in pain, too. and if there's one thing i learned, it's to suffer in silence.

yes, daddy, i'll wear a modest dress under my graduation gown so you can be proud as you watch me take my diploma - even though i know you're imagining my sister in my place.

yes, daddy, i'll be the perfect bride so you can be proud walking me down the aisle - even though i know you're wishing it was my sister instead.

and yes, daddy, i'll be the perfect mother someday so you can be proud as you watch me care for my children - even though you wish it was my sister and her child you're watching instead.

yes, daddy, i'll go fishing with you because my brother doesn't like it, and i'll accept that i'm just your stand-in son - for the day, this time, not for good. i know

yes, daddy, i'll help you put up that shelf - but only my brother isn't around to help instead. i know tomorrow you'll ask him instead.

yes, daddy, i understand my place - i'm your golden child, but only until one of the others wants your attention.

yes, daddy, i understand - you weren't looking for me to be your son or your daughter. you just wanted me to be your validation.

yes, daddy, i'll validate you - i'll always be there. always smiling. always waiting for someone else to mess up so i can take their place again.

always waiting for you to want me again.

#daddy issues #text post #vent #venting #vent post #sometimes i think he really loves me better as a daughter or a son #sometimes i think he really loves me most when im his genuine nonbinary but definitively masc-leaning kid #sometimes i think he doesn't actually love me much at all #sometimes i think i'm his favorite #i'm right and i'm wrong and i'm neither and i'm both and i'm everything and i'm nothing #and i'm dumb #btw i don't think dad did any of this stuff on purpose #it just feels like that from my perspective #family is hard

[thepeacefulgarden]

#recovery #stop enabling #self care #self care is not selfish #doing the hard stuff #self care is not an indulgence #codependency #boundaries #relationships #unhealthy relationships #family #friendship #mental health #make yourself a priority #self compassion #healing #low contact #no contact #dysfunctional family #people pleasing #fawning #love #find your people

[gean-grey-blog]

The holidays, or as I like to call it, "crying outside my bestie's parents' house for an hour during the pre Hanukkah dinner celebrations, until he drags me back inside and I go try to be a human being"

#family is hard #personal

[bli-o]

hey autistic people who get overwhelmed by large groups or noise or conversation or etc etc etc you’re not evil for wanting to leave a family gathering. just so you know.

#additionally hard when you have no diagnosis #people just think im “antisocial” and “rude” #while im over here completely burnt out #because the whole room is talking and the tv is loud and all the lights are on and every kid in the house is shrieking about something #and whoever you came with(looking at you parents) acts like you’re evil and hate your family when you even ask when you’re leaving #autism #actually autistic #autistic #autism spectrum disorder #autistic things #asd #autistic community #undiagnosed autistic #undiagnosed neurodivergent #undiagnosed autism #neurodiversity #neurodivergent #neurodiverse stuff #neurospicy #neurodivergence #neurodivergencies

[linkeduniverse]

September Art

#linkeduniverse #creator content #artworks #haha! i just noticed Time's eye #even his markings #my bad #horizontal flip disorientation #same with sky and 4's tunic patterns #i was too worried about fitting them all in #I forgot the details #do you know how hard it is to get a family photo!? #hyruel's bow and war's face were battling for space for the longest time

[moral-disorder]

And I'm trying to do this reparenting thing where I take care of little me and show her how to cope and how to be okay. I'm getting better at doing that in parts of my life. And I'm trying to do it now. But all I can come up with is that little baby me needs someone to go and tell her mum to stop being a selfish piece of shit and do the parts of parenting that she finds hard, not just the performative ones that come easy to her.

I mean its not even parenting at this point. It's respecting another adult that she says she cares about.

Baby me needs an advocate. And I have some ideas for what I'm gonna do tomorrow. I wish it was being honest to the point of hurtfulness... But it's going to be about protecting myself.

#personal #psych notes #Family is hard #Mums are harder #Reparenting #It sucks to be your own parent

[aerequets]

loid is the master of irony

#i used a soft pencil brush as opposed to my usual hard marker and it looks all loosey goosey #spy x family #my art #loid forger #yor forger #sxf #twiyor #my comic #sxf loid #sxf yor #yuri briar #sxf yuri #loidyor #loiyor