fresh cut grass’ stress being so high, the fuel pumping through his core having reached a level it’s never reached before, and it is so intense that for the first time, fresh cut grass realizes that they are alive,,, not alive because he was woken up by devexian or made my dancer or given purpose by the changebringer,,, but because his friends made him alive, because he made connections with ashton, and imogen, and laudna, and orym, and fearne, and dorian, and chetney, and F.R.I.D.A,,, thinking I’m happy to do this, I’m happy to do this, because they saved my life, and I’ll save theirs as he embraces his own explosion
I just watched episode 91. and i’m processing and grieving.
I think the reason this death is so somber compared to any other in CR history is because FCG is just gone. In D&D, there’s always hope of restoring life in some way. Get the body, we can resurrect. Let’s go to a shadow realm and kill delilah. Give her back your raven bitch prayers and rolls that help a spirit come back. This one didn’t have a roll. It was a choice. I cast guiding bolt on myself so I am destroyed and the people I love will be safe. FCG is gone.
I’ve never seen Matt so heartbroken over a character decision. So wrecked by the immediate grief at realizing what his friend is willing to do. He always approached D&D death with such a level head. But this one stopped him cold. “You know what this means right?”
Even the TPK hadn’t affected him like this did. He saw a chance at a beginning. At a new hope set in this changed and bleak world. But with FCG’s death, now we have a story of grief. And I think that’s why, if they do actually switch out to the EXU crew next episode, that’s why they did that. Sure Matt needed to rework a story that clearly had Otohan still in it. Sure, Sam needs to make a new character. But I think every member of the cast needs to work out their very real grief of the situation and what that would look like in the future. Because grief like this tears people apart.
But yeah, no wow. What a story. What a decision. I am haunted by Matt’s dawning realization. The way Tal put his head down. The way Ashley hid behind Mister. And the look on Sam’s face as he said good bye. Wow.
I do have some hope for the future of FCG. It’s still D&D. I think it would be incredibly poetic if Fearne kept a piece of letters and was able to reincarnate him into a humanoid one day. To see him wake up and stick out his brand new tongue before saying “Smiley Day!”
matt ruling that the technical damage from the explosion was irrelevant due to the power and weight of fcg’s sacrifice is what really got me. even if sam rolled the max possible number on the dice, it wouldn’t have even brought otohan to below where she was before she took the health potion. mechanically speaking, she should have survived that blast by a LOT of hit points. but this was a player willingly killing their own character, beyond reviving and even potentially beyond resurrection, to give the rest of the party any advantage they could, and he rewarded that with the death of an antagonist that has haunted this campaign from the very beginning. unreal fucking plays by both matt and sam tonight.