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#Fine Line album
erishades2 days ago
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饾摃饾棞饾棥饾棙 饾暦饾棞饾棥饾棙
casting part one part two
A NEW PUBLICATION FROM ASTANGELI
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astangeli happy birthday to my favourite co-star, partner in crime and capricorn!
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tchalamet not this astrology stuff again... 馃 love u frenchie 鈹佲攣 tomdumass astrology is real business! 鈹佲攣鈹佲攣 astangeli period 鈹佲攣 user1 frenchie 馃ズ馃ズ
tomdumass i thought i was your favourite capricorn... 鈹佲攣 astangeli shhh its a secret 鈹佲攣鈹佲攣 ryanbtlh and i thought i was your favourite partner in crime... 鈹佲攣鈹佲攣 astangeli boys...
user2 FRIENDSHIP GOAL 鈹佲攣 user3 i want what they have :')
user4 harry's gonna hate this!!!! 鈹佲攣 user5 they're not together anymore so he has nothing to say! stop talking about him
ASTANGELI ADDED TO THEIR STORY
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2 TEXT MESSAGES
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h I miss you.
h Hope you're having a great night.
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sunflowervolvimp3a year ago
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42 Hours
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Content: an enemies to lovers au in which Harry and Y/N are forced into a cross country road trip to make it to their best friends鈥 wedding on time
Warnings: language, mentions of nsfw content
Pairing: Harry Styles x reader
Word Count: 20k聽
A/N: I actually cannot believe that this is finally being posted over almost a month of working on it!! originally, I was going to make this one long stand alone fic, but once I hit 35k with no end in sight, I decided to split it into two parts so that it would be easier to read for you guys.聽 I鈥檓 hoping to have part 2 posted within a week, so keep an eye out for it!! this fic was partially inspired by this post by @avhrodite鈥 (thank you miss bailey!!) and can I just say that I had so much fun writing it!! I love road trips!! it makes me so sad that I had to split this fic because there are so many fun music scenes in the next part but those will all come in due time!! I would also like to give a big thank you to miss andrea @adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy鈥 and miss alex @darthstyles鈥 for putting up with me bouncing ideas off of them and for proof reading for me!! and miss andrea again for editing this stunning header pic!! also everyone I tagged is a wonderful writer and if you鈥檙e looking for more to read after reading this then I HIGHLY suggest taking a look through their masterlists. and as always, if you like this fic, please like and reblog it!! and shoot me a message!! feedback is always appreciated, not just by me, but by all content creators <3
{masterlist}
also!! if you want to set the mood for a road trip with Harry, here is a link to the playlist that is mentioned and referenced in this fic!!
When she was a little girl, Y/N鈥檚 grandmother had told her about Murphy鈥檚 Law. 聽Grandma Sarah鈥檚 favourite activity was staring at her granddaughter over the kitchen counter, a knife in one hand and half an onion that she鈥檇 been cutting in the other, spouting various wisdoms at the young girl, who would often be sitting and peeling vegetables for her. 聽The old lady had hoped that, after being lectured enough times on life鈥檚 difficulties, Y/N might be able to avoid making the same mistakes that she had made in her own time. 聽She always had a list of advice that she鈥檇 cycle through, as if she were a record on a loop.
鈥淎lways look both ways before crossing the street. 聽Your great uncle Albert didn鈥檛, and he never regained full function of his left hand.鈥
鈥淏eauty fades, but there鈥檚 no shelf life on your mind.鈥
鈥淭he grass is always greener on the other side, so stop staring at it, and focus on taking care of your own lawn.鈥
All of the advice was, by any accounts, useful for anyone to know, especially a young girl. 聽Of course, sometimes the advice would get a little scrambled after Grandma Sarah had had a few glasses of wine, but even her tipsy thoughts were useful to Y/N in her later years. 聽To this day, Y/N still sets a glass of water on her nightstand before going out to a bar, and her hungover self is always grateful the next morning. 聽And Y/N had yet to find anything that smelled as sweet as a vanilla dabbed behind her ears and on her wrists when she runs out of perfume. 聽However, perhaps the most important piece of advice Grandma Sarah ever gave her came one afternoon when Y/N was eleven years old, and her older cousin Grace was due to get married the next week.
Grandma Sarah had cracked egg after egg into her mixing bowl, always without getting any unwanted pieces of shell in the egg whites, and gave her granddaughter a long look across the kitchen counter.
鈥淲hen you get married, Y/N,鈥 She had said, voice firm. 鈥淩emember Murphy鈥檚 Law. 聽Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong, and at the worst possible moment. 聽When Murphy鈥檚 Law comes into play, there鈥檚 nothing you can do except roll with the punches.鈥
Eleven year old Y/N had nodded her head seriously, as she always did when her grandmother told her seemingly important things. 聽The advice, despite its usefulness, however, didn鈥檛 stick around in her head, and Murphy鈥檚 Law didn鈥檛 cross Y/N鈥檚 mind for fourteen years.
It takes fourteen years for Y/N, who is standing in front of a flight check-in at LAX, two large suitcases next to her, one of which contains two gold wedding bands, passport in hand, and a distressed look on her face, to remember the law her grandmother had once told her about.
鈥淲hen you get married, Y/N鈥nything that can go wrong, will go wrong, and at the worst possible moment.鈥
Taking a deep breath to calm herself, Y/N pushes the echoing words of her grandmother out of her head. 鈥淚鈥檓 sorry, just鈥斺 She gives a pained smile to the lady working the check in. 鈥淐an you explain that to me again, please?鈥
The lady also takes a deep breath, the smile on her ruby tinted lips just as pained as Y/N鈥檚. 鈥淭here鈥檚 a storm system moving through Utah and Colorado. 聽These systems have the potential to become tornadoes, and because of that, the conditions for flying are too dangerous right now, so all flights through that area are grounded until further notice.鈥
鈥淪o my flight is cancelled?鈥 Y/N holds up the ticket in her hand that鈥檚 stamped with LAX 鈥 JFK. 鈥淭his flight, this flight to New York, which is nowhere near Utah鈥攖hat鈥檚 cancelled?鈥
The check-in lady, whose name tag reads Brynn, gives another tight smile. 鈥淵es, ma鈥檃m. 聽It鈥檚 cancelled.鈥
鈥淥kay, no, I鈥檓 sorry, Brynn, but that doesn鈥檛 work for me.鈥 Y/N shakes her head fiercely as the manic rush of emotions through her begins to set in. 聽The denial, she finds, keeps the oncoming panic at bay, and so she decides to focus on that to ground herself. 鈥淢y best friend is getting married in the Catskills in one week.鈥 Y/N holds up one finger, as if her words are hard for Brynn to understand. 鈥淭hat鈥檚 one week from today. 聽I鈥檓 the maid of honour. 聽I have to be there to help organize, keep her calm, and make sure she actually makes it down the aisle, because鈥攂etween you and me鈥攕he鈥檚 got some commitment issues鈥斺 The more Y/N speaks, the more her panic begins to spill out in her words, like a dam with a leak that鈥檚 about to burst. 鈥淎nd she forgot the goddamn wedding rings, so I have those too, and I just鈥擨 really need to get to New York, like, now. Right now.鈥
Y/N finally pauses to take a sharp breath, and Brynn, who had been waiting for her to finish, speaks again, her voice flatter than before.
鈥淚鈥檓 very sorry to hear that, ma鈥檃m, but as I said, all flights are grounded right now.鈥
Pinching the bridge of her nose between her fingers, Y/N takes another deep breath. 聽Roll with the punches, her grandmother had told her. 聽What else is there to do? 鈥淥kay.鈥 Y/N is careful to keep her voice in check when she speaks again. 鈥淎lright. 聽Do you know when they鈥檒l be ungrounded?鈥
鈥淎s I鈥檝e said,鈥 Brynn鈥檚 smile is more of a grimace now, and Y/N knows that she鈥檚 treading on thin ice. 鈥淎ll flights are grounded until further notice. 聽We鈥檙e not sure when we鈥檒l be able to open them again. 聽It could be a day, or it could be five. 聽If you鈥檇 like, I can put you down on a list to be called when flights are available again, but I鈥檓 afraid that鈥檚 the best I can do.鈥
鈥淟et鈥檚 do that, then.鈥 Y/N relents in a tired voice, already making plans to pick up a coffee on her way back to her apartment. 聽In the back of her mind, she begins to wonder if she has any Baileys Irish cream liqueur left in her kitchen cabinet鈥攁nd if 8:30 A.M. is too early to be drinking Baileys with her coffee.
It takes Y/N two cups of coffee with Baileys (it had been 10 A.M. by the time she arrived home, thanks to L.A. traffic, and she had decided that 10 A.M. was a fine time to drink when one鈥檚 flight gets cancelled indefinitely) to work up the courage to call Jo and tell her that she isn鈥檛 sure if she鈥檒l be able to make it to the wedding.
Josephine Waters, or Jo to anyone who doesn鈥檛 want to get punched in the arm, has been Y/N鈥檚 best friend since the girls were five years old. 聽They became fast friends on the first day of kindergarten, as Jo liked how Y/N could already colour inside the lines, and Y/N liked how Jo tackled a boy who tugged on Y/N鈥檚 pigtails. 聽From the very beginning, the two were a perfect match for each other; where Y/N was reserved, Jo was wild. 聽Where Jo was disorganized, Y/N was focused. 聽Each girl balanced the other in the most natural way, and it鈥檚 this fact that Y/N and Jo credit for the two of them staying friends for twenty years. As they grew up together, they grew together, taking the very best traits from the other and using it to help themselves develop. 聽Y/N had been the first person that Jo came out to, confessing to her best friend during an eighth grade sleepover in a quiet and nervous voice. 聽To Jo鈥檚 pleasure, Y/N had been completely supportive, and returned the favour from the first day of kindergarten by punching a boy in the nose for calling Jo a homophobic slur. 聽Jo helped Y/N through her parent鈥檚 divorce. 聽Y/N helped Jo manage her ADHD. 聽Jo talked Y/N through discovering her bisexuality in university. Y/N answered every 3 A.M. phone call to comfort Jo after a panic attack. 聽In every sense of the word, the two girls had been there for each other.
And now Y/N is going to miss Jo鈥檚 wedding.
The harsh realization digs a pit in her stomach as she opens her phone and clicks on Jo鈥檚 name. 聽It鈥檚 noon in L.A., which means it鈥檚 3 P.M. in New York time, and Y/N knows Jo will answer. 聽She always does.
Sure enough, after three short rings, Jo鈥檚 voice chirps through the phone. 鈥淗ey, Y/N! 聽Has your flight landed already?鈥
鈥淣o, there鈥檚鈥攖here鈥檚 been an issue.鈥 Y/N downs another gulp of her coffee, wishing she had added more Baileys when she had the chance, and clears her throat before continuing. 鈥淭here鈥檚, um, a storm in Utah, and apparently it鈥檚 bad, and so all flights from L.A. to New York are grounded until further notice.鈥
Jo makes a scoffing noise, and Y/N can practically picture the indignant look on her face that she鈥檚 seen so many times before. 鈥淭hat鈥檚 ridiculous. 聽Did you tell them that New York is nowhere near Utah?鈥
鈥淯h huh.鈥
鈥淲hat about that my wedding is in one week?鈥
鈥淚 told them that, too. Brynn didn鈥檛 seem to care.鈥
鈥淏itch.鈥 Jo mutters under her breath. 鈥淥kay, just wait a second, Laure just walked through the door, so I鈥檓 putting you on speakerphone鈥斺
Y/N hears rustling on the speaker, as well as muttering in the background as Jo speaks to her fianc茅e, and then Jo鈥檚 voice is back, sounding slightly more distant.
鈥淥kay, so I told Laure what happened鈥斺
鈥淭hat鈥檚 awful, Y/N.鈥 Laure鈥檚 voice is laced with stress, and Y/N can only imagine how much anxiety this information is adding to her already full plate. 鈥淭hey won鈥檛 tell you when flights will be leaving again?鈥
鈥淣ope.鈥 Y/N pulls her knees to her chest and wraps her free arm around them, leaning her head against the back of her couch.
鈥淥kay, well, planes aren鈥檛 the only way to get here.鈥 Laure says, always the more rational out of the two. 鈥淢aybe a car鈥?鈥
鈥淵/N doesn鈥檛 have one.鈥 Jo chimes in, a hint of teasing in her voice, despite the serious problem that鈥檚 in discussion. 鈥淪he鈥檚 scared of driving鈥斺
Y/N sits up, an indignant look on her face. 鈥淚鈥檓 not scared of driving!鈥 She says hotly, setting her empty coffee mug on the table with a thud. 鈥淚 just hate L.A. traffic, and honestly, there鈥檚 no point! 聽I can walk to work, and Uber anywhere else I need to go! 聽A car would be completely useless to me!鈥
鈥淓xcept now, when you鈥檙e about to miss your best friend鈥檚 wedding.鈥 Jo points out. 鈥淲hat about renting one?鈥
Y/N sighs, her moment of indignation already fizzled out. 鈥淚 tried that already. 聽There鈥檚 nothing available for a cross country trip.鈥
鈥淎nd the drive is so long.鈥 Laure murmurs, and Y/N knows it鈥檚 more for Jo鈥檚 benefit than hers. 鈥淚t鈥檚 over forty hours. 聽She can鈥檛 do that by herself; it鈥檚 not safe.鈥
鈥淏ut鈥斺
鈥淟ook, Jo, don鈥檛 worry about this, alright?鈥 Y/N cuts across her best friend鈥檚 anxious voice, assuming her usual role of protector. 鈥淚鈥檒l figure this out. 聽I promise you; I will make it to your wedding on time, looking pretty in my dress, and with your wedding bands. 聽I promise.鈥
鈥淲e鈥檒l keep thinking about it and see what we can come up with.鈥 Laure promises through the phone, her voice sounding further and further away. 鈥淭his is just鈥攊t鈥檚 a bump in the road, but it鈥檚 fine. 聽We can work around this. 聽We鈥檒l find a way.鈥
The way that Laure finds for Y/N pounds on her door at 7:30 A.M. the next morning.
Y/N, like any exhausted and stressed out adult who has already begun her ten days of vacation time that she booked off for the wedding, is fast asleep in her bed when she hears the knocking. 聽The loud noise pulls her out from her dreams abruptly, and she cracks one eye open, squinting through the sunlight that鈥檚 lighting up her room. 聽When the knock echoes through her apartment again, she pulls herself from her sheets with a groan, grabbing her robe from the back of her door and tying it around herself as she makes her way to the front hallway to yell at whoever has the audacity to wake her up.
When she opens the door, Harry Styles is peering down at her with an irritated look on his face.
鈥淭ook you long enough, Y/N.鈥 He rolls his eyes as he speaks, finally stepping back from the door that he had been pounding on a moment ago. 鈥淎re you ready to go?鈥
Y/N rubs her eyes, suppressing a yawn as she does so. 鈥淪tyles, I have no idea what you鈥檙e talking about. 聽What are you doing here?鈥 She demands. 聽She doesn鈥檛 have the energy to deal with him right now, she thinks, let alone the mental capacity to listen to anything he has to say.
Harry crosses his arms across his chest, and it鈥檚 then that Y/N notices the duffel bag strewn over his shoulder. 鈥淚t鈥檚 a forty-two hour drive from L.A. to the Catskills.鈥 Harry鈥檚 eyes scan over Y/N鈥檚 appearance, the very corner of his strawberry pink lips twitching, and Y/N tightens her robe around herself with a glare.
鈥淎 drive?鈥 Y/N asks, uncertainty growing in her voice as she crosses her arm over her chest. 鈥淲hat are you talking about?鈥
鈥淵our flight was cancelled, right?鈥 Harry鈥檚 voice grows more impatient as Y/N鈥檚 half asleep brain struggles to piece together what鈥檚 happening. 鈥淪o was mine, so I decided to drive to the wedding, and then Laure called me last night, begging me to take you with me.鈥 He shrugs a bit, fixing his sunglasses on top of his head as his jade eyes scan over her appearance one more time. 鈥淣ot my first choice of road trip partner, but I don鈥檛 think the best man can say no to bringing the maid of honour. 聽And splitting the cost of gas will be nice.鈥
鈥淥kay, wait, I鈥︹ Y/N鈥檚 finally coming out of her fog of exhaustion, and the newfound clarity of her mind is causing a newfound pit to develop in her stomach. 鈥淟aure and Jo didn鈥檛 tell me any of this.鈥
鈥淲ell, I expect they鈥檙e a bit busy, given that they鈥檙e getting married in a week.鈥 Harry adjusts the strap of his duffel bag on his shoulder with a sharp sigh. 鈥淟ook, are you ready to go or not? 聽It鈥檚 over a five day drive, so we need to leave as soon as possible.鈥
鈥淚鈥攜eah鈥斺 Y/N nods before taking a hesitant step back from the doorway, positioning herself to the side so that Harry can get by her. 鈥淚 just have to get dressed and grab a couple last minute things, so鈥ome in, I guess.鈥
Harry flashes an insincere smile to Y/N as he steps into her apartment, his eyes darting around at the furniture and home decor. 聽Y/N watches as his gaze lingers on her library of books, her yellow bicycle leaning against the wall, and every other little touch of herself that she likes her home to have, and she can see the judgement that鈥檚 clearly apparent in his eyes.
鈥淵ou can sit, if you want.鈥 She mutters, turning on her heel to go back to her bedroom. 鈥淚鈥檒l only be a few minutes.鈥
The first thing Y/N does when she shuts her bedroom door behind herself is assess the situation in the analytical way that usually calms her. 聽Alright. 聽So a road trip across the country isn鈥檛 exactly ideal, and a road trip across the country with Harry Styles is even less ideal. 聽But, at the present moment, being stuck in a car with Harry seems to be the only sure way that she鈥檒l be able to make it to Jo鈥檚 wedding on time. And for Jo, Y/N would put up with anything. 聽Even Harry.
As she rummages through her drawers for some leggings and a tank top, Y/N wonders what she could have possibly done to bring this much bad karma into her life. 聽While she gets dressed, her mind flickers back to Murphy鈥檚 Law, how everything that can go wrong will go wrong, in the worst possible way, and then she thinks about being in a confined space with Harry for five days, and鈥攜eah. 聽That seems to be the worst possible thing she can think of.
Y/N remembers the first moment she鈥檇 met Harry seven years ago, and the unfortunate circumstances under which that meeting had happened. 聽Jo and Laure had just barely met back then, and Jo had begged Y/N to come out on a double date with her and 鈥渢his really hot girl from my women studies class who I鈥檓, like, 83% sure swings my way.鈥
Y/N had groaned at that comment, flopping back on her bed in the tiny dorm that she and Jo shared. 鈥淣o! I have an essay due in three days that I haven鈥檛 even started!鈥
Jo rolled her eyes as she flopped down on Y/N鈥檚 bed as well, ignoring her own half-made bunk that was across the small room, favouring her best friend鈥檚 bed like she always did. 鈥淲e both know you鈥檙e not starting that essay until the day before it鈥檚 due, and that it鈥檚 just an excuse because you don鈥檛 want to go!鈥
鈥淚 don鈥檛 want to go.鈥 Y/N had agreed with a sharp and fervent nod. 聽She shut her laptop and pushed it to the side of her bed, knowing from experience that she wasn鈥檛 going to be able to focus and argue at the same time. 鈥淲hy would I want to hang out with a complete stranger while you make googly eyes at a girl from your class?鈥
鈥淥kay, first, I don鈥檛 make googly eyes.鈥 Jo made a face at that comment, nudging Y/N鈥檚 calf with her own foot. 鈥淎nd second, he鈥檚 her best friend from high school, and he鈥檚 coming to visit all the way from London!鈥
鈥淪o? 聽He鈥檚 still a stranger!鈥 Y/N pointed out, her eyes drifting to the sticky note covered novel beside her. 聽She picks it up and begins to flip through the marked pages as she speaks. 鈥淜nowing where he鈥檚 from doesn鈥檛 change that!鈥
鈥淚t should, because he鈥檚 only going to be here for a week, and Laure almost cancelled the date because she doesn鈥檛 want to miss spending time with him鈥斺 Jo grabbed one of Y/N鈥檚 pillows and tossed it at her arm, knocking the book from her hands. 鈥淔ocus! So I said that he could come, but she said that she didn鈥檛 want him to be left out, so I said that I happen to have an incredibly beautiful and witty best friend who would be able to entertain Harry while we all hang out together.鈥
Y/N inhaled deeply as she gave Jo a withering look. 鈥淒id you already tell her I鈥檓 going?鈥
Jo, in return, gave Y/N her most dazzling smile. 鈥淵es. 聽We鈥檙e meeting them for dinner at 7.鈥
Y/N shakes herself from her memories as she runs to her bathroom to toss her toiletries back into the bag she鈥檇 taken them out of the day before, working as quickly as she can. It does her no good to think of Harry in the past, she thinks, because the present Harry is currently sitting in her living room, probably snooping through her stuff, and the longer she takes to get ready to go, the more he鈥檒l go through. 聽Not that there鈥檚 anything incriminating in her apartment, really鈥攐r at least, nothing incriminating in her living room. 聽When Y/N makes it back to her bedroom, however, to quickly zip up her suitcase, she does make sure she grabs her favourite vibrator from the box under her bed, tucking it between her half-folded underwear. 聽If she鈥檚 going to be gone for a week, she鈥檒l need something to help her relax.
Within a few more minutes, Y/N is repacked and ready to go. 聽Her hunter green bridesmaid dress is carefully arranged on the very top of her clothes in her suitcase, all of her makeup and toiletries are packed inside, and Jo and Laure鈥檚 wedding rings are secured in little velvet boxes stashed between her socks. 聽As far as physical preparedness goes, Y/N is ready to go on a coast to coast road trip. As far as mental preparedness goes, however鈥hat鈥檚 the thing that Y/N鈥檚 not quite sure about.
鈥淲hat are you doing?鈥
Y/N glances at Harry from the corner of her eye, her hand still half stretched out to the radio dials in his car. 聽Although Harry鈥檚 green eyes are hidden behind his sunglasses, and his face is turned towards the long road in front of them, he still somehow manages to catch her motions, and it irritates her to no end.
鈥淚鈥檓 changing the radio station?鈥 Y/N answers after a moment, giving him a puzzled look. 鈥淚 don鈥檛 know why you listen to this weird oldies station, but鈥斺
鈥淔irst of all鈥斺 Harry鈥檚 hands turn the steering wheel slightly to guide his car over the curve of the road, his jaw twitching as a smirk works its way onto his pink lips. 鈥淭his isn鈥檛 a radio station, it鈥檚 my Spotify playlist. 聽I put a Bluetooth connection in Stevie a year ago. Secondly鈥斺
鈥淪tevie?鈥 Y/N repeats incredulously, twisting her whole body as best she can to look at Harry straight on. 鈥淵ou named your car? 聽You鈥檙e one of those guys?鈥
Harry finally gives Y/N a flicker of a glance, the glare obvious in his eyes even behind his dark sunglasses. 聽He turns his attention back to the road before replying. 鈥淪econdly鈥斺 He continues from before, ignoring her comment as his right hand readjusts the gear shift. 鈥淒river picks the music.鈥
Y/N makes a face, the corners of her lips pulling down into a grimace as she settles back into the passenger seat with her arms crossed. 鈥淪o we鈥檙e just going to listen to 鈥楾iny Dancer鈥 for the entire drive, are we?鈥
鈥淣ot the entire drive, no.鈥 Harry flicks on his turn signal with a ringed hand before shoulder checking to change lanes. 聽Y/N glances at him, her eyes training on the strained muscles in his neck as Harry continues. 鈥淲e鈥檒l listen to 鈥楧on鈥檛 Go Breaking My Heart,鈥 too.鈥
鈥淕reat.鈥 Y/N exhales slowly and presses her head back into the seat鈥檚 headrest, closing her eyes as Elton John鈥檚 voice continues to float through the speakers. 鈥淩eally looking forward to it.鈥
鈥淵ou know, maybe you should try to sleep.鈥 Harry says, his voice prickled with irritation as Elton John bleeds into The Zombies. 鈥淚 think you鈥檒l be in a better mood after you take a nap.鈥
Y/N readjusts her crossed arms as she mutters a short reply. 鈥淒on鈥檛 tell me what to do.鈥 Still, she shuts her eyes again, twisting her body towards the window in an attempt to get comfortable enough to sleep. 聽Being in the car with Harry is already giving her a throbbing migraine, and they鈥檝e only been on the road for less than two hours. 聽Sleeping through most of the trip will probably be the only way she鈥檒l be able to survive it.
Despite that realization, however, her phone vibrates in her lap three minutes later, pulling her away from her thoughts. 聽Y/N glances down at the now lit screen, catching her bottom lip between her teeth when she registers the name on the message. 聽Opening her phone quickly, she reads over the reply as a guilty feeling begins to build in her stomach.
BRANT: Hey, what are you doing tonight? 聽Want to grab some dinner?
鈥淲hat鈥檚 wrong?鈥
鈥淗m?鈥 Y/N鈥檚 head snaps back up, her eyes jerking in Harry鈥檚 direction. 聽Like before, he鈥檚 watching her from the corner of his eye, catching every one of her movements, and the constant surveillance is annoying to no end.
Harry, it seems, is either oblivious to her annoyance, or is choosing to ignore it. 鈥淚 asked what鈥檚 wrong. You have a weird look on your face.鈥 Harry鈥檚 blunt words are accompanied by the sound of him tapping his ring covered fingers against the gear shift. 鈥淓verything alright? 聽Is it Laure and Jo?鈥
鈥淣o, it鈥檚 just鈥斺 Y/N glances down at her phone again, fingers poised over her keyboard as she crafts a reply in her head. 鈥淚t鈥檚 no one.鈥
Harry snorts once, a short and harsh sound that grates against Y/N鈥檚 nerves like nails on a chalkboard. 鈥淚 don鈥檛 buy that for a second.鈥
鈥淚t鈥檚 no one to you.鈥 Y/N updates her retort, turning her full attention back to her phone. 鈥淢y personal life is none of your business.鈥
Y/N: I鈥檓 sorry, I can鈥檛!! Caught a last minute ride to New York with somebody. 聽Maybe once I鈥檓 back?
鈥淧ersonal life, huh?鈥 Harry clicks his tongue once, and the childish noise is even more irritating than his snort. 鈥淲hat, you can鈥檛 talk to me about whoever you鈥檙e shagging?鈥
The blunt remark hits Y/N like a shot to the chest, and she sputters for a moment as she struggles to form a response. 鈥淚鈥攚e鈥檙e not鈥斺 Taking a moment to gather herself and clear her throat quickly, Y/N avoids Harry鈥檚 gaze as her cheeks begin to burn. 鈥淲e鈥檙e not like that. We鈥檝e just鈥ad a few dates, that鈥檚 all. There鈥檚 nothing鈥fficial.鈥
鈥淵ou don鈥檛 need to be official to have a shag, now, do you?鈥 Harry lifts his hand from the gear shift to fix his sunglasses, settling it back down on his jean covered thigh once he鈥檚 done. 鈥淚f you don鈥檛 want to date the bloke鈥斺
鈥淚 didn鈥檛 say that.鈥 Y/N cuts over him, pulling herself from her embarrassment enough to give him a cold glare. 鈥淗e鈥檚 very nice鈥斺
鈥淏oring, you mean鈥斺
鈥淎nd I鈥攖his is none of your business!鈥 Feeling the flush of embarrassment rise back to her cheeks, Y/N once again turns her attention to her passenger seat window, avoiding Harry鈥檚 pressing gaze. 鈥淚鈥檓 done talking about this.鈥
Harry gives an indifferent shrug. 鈥淲hatever.鈥 He says casually, tapping his finger against his thigh as his shoulders once again lift slightly beneath his fitted black t-shirt. 鈥淚 just feel bad for the guy, that鈥檚 all.鈥
The comment is bait. And the thing is, Y/N knows it鈥檚 bait. 聽She knows that the only reason Harry is saying it is to get under her skin and keep her talking about Brant, further embarrassing herself in the process. She鈥檚 been around Harry enough to know how he works, and she knows that the only reason he would say that is to bait her. 聽She knows she shouldn鈥檛 take it. 聽And yet鈥
鈥淭here鈥檚 no reason to feel bad for him.鈥 Y/N scoffs as she fidgets with the position of her seatbelt, trying to stop the strap from cutting into her chest. 鈥淲e鈥檝e been talking for a month, and there鈥檚 nothing official happening. 聽Just because you can鈥檛 go that long without trying to stick your dick in someone鈥斺
鈥淵ou have no idea what I can do, Y/N. 聽Don鈥檛 pretend that you do.鈥 Harry鈥檚 tone of voice is just as scoffing as hers, his eyes still set on the road in front of them intently as he gives his sharp response. Y/N watches as he shifts the gears of the car and speeds up, just enough to make the engine roar, but not enough to lose control of the car. 聽Part of Y/N wistfully wishes that he would just slip up and crash the car, just so she wouldn鈥檛 have to continue this conversation.
鈥淎ll I meant,鈥 Harry continues, unaware of the dark daydreams running through Y/N鈥檚 head. 鈥淚s that I feel bad that you鈥檙e clearly not interested in him, which is proven by the fact that you haven鈥檛 wanted him in your bed.鈥
Irritation flares through Y/N鈥檚 body again, stronger than the embarrassment of discussing her sex life (or lack thereof) with Harry, and she half considers just grabbing the steering wheel and yanking it into a passing cliff so she can finish them off herself. 鈥淔or Christ鈥檚 sake, Harry, sex isn鈥檛 the only way to鈥斺
鈥淚 don鈥檛 mean actually having it, that鈥檚 not a given.鈥 Harry rolls his eyes from behind his sunglasses as he slows down for a curve in the road, his practiced hands once again changing gears with ease. 鈥淵ou don鈥檛 have to fuck him. 聽But you should want to, especially if you鈥檝e had a month of dates, and you clearly don鈥檛 want to.鈥
Y/N doesn鈥檛 hide the incredulous stare of disbelief on her face as she turns to look at him. Harry鈥檚 face, though turned towards the road still, has a look of amusement mixed with contemplation on it, and it takes all of Y/N鈥檚 self control not to smack the expression off of him. Although there鈥檚 the ghost of a smirk on his strawberry coloured lips, his brow is furrowed behind his sunglasses, as if he鈥檚 thinking hard about the conversation between them. 聽Normally, Y/N would be amazed that Harry is thinking hard about anything. 聽However, given that their conversation is apparently turning into whether or not she wants to have sex with someone, Y/N鈥檚 not too thrilled about his sudden investment and serious contemplation of the topic.
Shaking her head decidedly, Y/N finally spits out a finishing phrase. 鈥淵ou don鈥檛 know what I want.鈥 She says decidedly, reaching into the backseat to grab the sweater she stashed back there. 聽She clumsily pulls it over her body without taking off her seatbelt. 聽Harry keeps the AC cranked as high as he can, and she knows that he鈥檒l kill her if she tries to change it. 鈥淵ou don鈥檛 know anything about me.鈥
鈥淚 know more than you think.鈥 Harry counters, the tip of his tongue running along his bottom lip. 鈥淎nd I鈥檓 pretty good at reading body language. 聽You don鈥檛 really want him. 聽He鈥攚hat鈥檚 his name?鈥
Despite her better judgement, Y/N answers in a flat voice. 鈥淏rant.鈥
The corners of Harry鈥檚 cherry lip twitches. 鈥淏rant. 聽Yeah. It鈥檚 clear you don鈥檛 really want him, and you鈥檙e wasting your time. 聽You鈥檙e wasting his time, too. 聽Poor Brant.鈥
鈥淧oor鈥攜ou鈥檙e such an ass, you know that?鈥 Y/N鈥檚 irritation bubbles over as she gives Harry a nasty look, her hand squeezing her thigh hard in an attempt to ground herself in their conversation. 鈥淵ou can try to pretend otherwise, but you don鈥檛 know anything about me, or him, so鈥斺
鈥淵ou think I鈥檝e been friends with Laure and Jo this long and haven鈥檛 learned anything about you?鈥 Harry cocks an eyebrow, risking a glance at her as he presses a heavier foot onto the gas. 鈥淚 told you, I know more than you think, and that includes your type.鈥
An incredulous scoff leaves Y/N鈥檚 mouth, and she shakes her head in obvious disbelief before responding. 鈥淢y type. 聽Right. What is my type, then? 聽What鈥檚 Brant like, exactly, since you seem to know everything?鈥
Harry goes quiet then, his brow furrowing again as he returns his full attention to the road. 聽With his incessant chatter gone, the only sounds in the car being 鈥淢aps鈥 playing quietly in the background and Harry鈥檚 ringed index and forefinger tap on the steering wheel. 聽Y/N breathes out a long sigh of satisfaction as she relaxes back in her seat, her attention turned back to the blurred landscapes speeding by her window. 聽Finally, she鈥檚 managed to get Harry to stop with his ridiculous assumptions鈥
鈥淵ou like someone that鈥檚 stable and secure, so he probably works in some corporation, or an office job. Majored in business, I鈥檇 think, but has a minor in something like mathematics.鈥 The side profile of Harry鈥檚 nose wrinkles in disgust at the thought. 鈥淗e wants to work his way up in the company, but never wants to actually start anything on his own. 聽He likes the stability of a blueprint. You鈥檙e obsessed with punctuality, so he鈥檚 probably always on time to pick you up for dates鈥攁nd he has to pick you up, because you don鈥檛 drive鈥攁nd your dates are never really dates. Dinners, or movies, or something like that, but they never really have that spark.鈥 Harry鈥檚 shoulder lift slightly as he continues to make his conclusions. 鈥淲hich, honestly, is probably a big reason in why you don鈥檛 want to fuck him, because as much as you like stability and safety, you also like the idea of a grand gesture, or something like that. 聽And you probably split the bill a lot at dinner, right? 聽Because it just seems fair, but really it鈥檚 because you know it鈥檚 not a real date. 聽But it passes the time, and he鈥檚 nice, so it鈥檚 fine. 聽But it鈥檚 only fine.鈥 Harry licks his lips once more as he collects his next thoughts, his teeth catching his bottom lip just barely as his tongue retreats back into his mouth. 鈥淎nd he鈥檚 probably already talking about you coming to meet his family for some holiday. 聽Not in a romantic way, but just because he likes to plan everything in advance to every minute detail. 聽Just like you.鈥
Halfway through Harry鈥檚 speech, a flush had begun to creep up Y/N鈥檚 neck, continuing to warm her jaw and ears before settling on the apples of her cheeks. 聽She keeps her eyes trained on her window and her mouth pressed into a tight line, refusing to look at Harry and give him any hint of just how shocked she is that he鈥檚 guessed so much.
Harry, however, doesn鈥檛 plan on letting her get away from his inquisition. 鈥淲ell?鈥 He impatiently prompts after a moment, and even though she鈥檚 not looking at him, she can feel him looking at her, his emerald irises burning into the back of her head. 鈥淎m I right?鈥
鈥淚鈥斺 Y/N clears her throat quickly, but her voice is still strained and tight when she replies. 鈥淣o.鈥
Harry hums low in his throat, and his voice is laced with curiosity with he replies. 鈥淩eally?鈥 The irritating tap of his fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of the music continues. 鈥淲hat did I get wrong?鈥
鈥淗e鈥斺 Y/N hates the way her skin is burning from his interrogation, how her voice shrinks smaller and smaller the more she speaks. 聽If Harry knows her so well, then he knows how much she loves being in control, and in this situation, with Harry managing to pull every one of her most secret inner thoughts and feelings out of her without trouble, she feels anything but in control. 鈥淗e has a minor in accounting, not mathematics.鈥
The laugh that leaves Harry鈥檚 mouth is loud and bombastic, and his whole body curves over the steering wheel as the sound rolls out of him, his eyes just barely managing to stay on the road while his sunglasses slide down his nose. 鈥淩ight.鈥 Harry says between belly laughs, his voice stretched out in amusement. 鈥淏ut everything else was spot on?鈥
Y/N keeps her stiff body turned towards the window, refusing to engage in the conversation any further. That doesn鈥檛 stop Harry, however, who fixes his sunglasses as chuckles continue to roll out of him.
鈥淚 take it back. Maybe he鈥檚 the one wasting your time.鈥 His hand runs through his hair lazily, fixing the curled strands that had fallen into his eyes as he laughed. 鈥淚 don鈥檛 blame you for not wanting to sleep with your bore of a boyfriend鈥斺
鈥淗e鈥檚 stable!鈥 Y/N breaks her silence to protest Harry鈥檚 words, her voice heated. 鈥淎nd he鈥檚 not my boyfriend. 聽We鈥檝e been seeing each other, but we鈥檙e not鈥攊t鈥檚 not exclusive, or鈥攏othing serious鈥斺
鈥淵ou don鈥檛 have to explain yourself to me. 聽It鈥檚 fine.鈥 Harry waves off her arguments with a flick of his tattooed hand. 鈥淏esides, like you said, it鈥檚 none of my business, right?鈥
Y/N can practically picture what Harry looks like in this moment. 聽His chestnut curls are probably a mess from fidgeting with them, and his cheeks are most likely rosy beneath his stubble from the peels of laughter that left his equally red lips a moment ago. 聽Most infuriatingly of all, his dimples are probably present, making little indentations in his cheeks to show how entertaining he鈥檚 found embarrassing her. Bastard, she thinks, clenching her fists so hard that her nails dig into her palms, pressing them into her sides beneath her makeshift blanket.
She refuses to let herself confirm if her suspicions about Harry鈥檚 appearance are correct, and instead keeps her gaze on the blurred trees whipping by outside her window. 鈥淩ight.鈥 She mutters, leaning her head against the headrest as she closes her eyes. 鈥淚t鈥檚 none of your business.鈥
As soon as the paint-peeled door to the motel room swings open, Y/N knows that she鈥檚 not going to be sleeping soundly tonight.
She鈥檚 not sure what her first hint should have been. 聽Perhaps it was the half-flickering blue and red light of the Motel 6 sign that should have tipped her off, or the front-desk attendant who looked as though he was hiding a few secrets himself. 聽When Y/N and Harry had first approached the front desk of the tiny, vaguely mildew-smelling lobby, their clothes rumpled from the drive and their attitudes just as bothered, the employee in the Motel 6 uniform had barely raised an eye at them, not bothering to look up from his computer until Y/N and Harry were directly in front of him.
鈥淗i.鈥 Harry had said, his voice taking on a cautious but polite tone that, Y/N remembers thinking, she would have appreciated hearing throughout their eight hour drive that day. 鈥淲e鈥檇 like two rooms, please鈥斺
鈥淗ere.鈥 The attendant鈥檚 gum snapped in his mouth as he reached behind himself and grabbed an old key with a flimsy blue plastic tag from a wall of empty pegs. 鈥淨ueen sized bed, the first door on the left. 聽It鈥檒l do you two nicely.鈥
鈥淯m, no.鈥 Harry cleared his throat loudly as he gave a slight shake of his head. 鈥淲e need two rooms.鈥
Finally, the attendant looked towards them, his eyes scanning Harry before Y/N. 聽The latter had self consciously pulled her sweater around her, as there was something in the attendant鈥檚 eyes that had bothered her. 鈥淒on鈥檛 have two rooms. 聽I got one room left. 聽Everything else is booked.鈥
Harry had glanced at Y/N then, and she knew that his thoughts mirrored hers: there was no way that they鈥檇 share a queen bed together. 聽No way in hell. 聽They鈥檇 barely survived eight hours in the same cramped car without one of them driving them off a cliff. 聽If Y/N had to share a bed with Harry, even for just one night, she鈥檇 probably end up smothering him in his sleep before the first snore left his obnoxious mouth.
鈥淭hat鈥檚 really not an option.鈥 Y/N had stepped forward then, crossing her arms around herself as the attendant鈥檚 eyes canvassed her again. 鈥淚sn鈥檛 there something鈥斺
鈥淟ook, lady, I鈥檓 telling you what鈥檚 available.鈥 The attendant鈥檚 eyes continued to flicker between her face and her chest, making Y/N鈥檚 skin crawl more and more with every word that fell from his gum-filled mouth. 鈥淭he room might have a pull out chair鈥攕ome do, but I couldn鈥檛 tell you which. 聽Now do you want to share the room with him or not? 聽If you don鈥檛 want to share, then I could try to find something else for just you鈥斺
Before Y/N had the opportunity to respond to the lewd suggestion, Harry was already stepping forward, his body angling protectively in front of her own. 聽She watched from behind as his broad shoulders squared beneath his black t-shirt, his shoulder blades flexing as he straightened up to his full height. 聽When Harry answered, his voice was just as firm as it was dark, lacking its previous polite tone.
鈥淲e鈥檒l take the room.鈥 He had said coldly, reaching into his back pocket to pull out his wallet before tossing a few bills on the front desk. 鈥淭hanks for the help.鈥
Yes, Y/N thinks, all of that should have been a sign for the state of the motel room that they now find themselves standing inside.
The same mildew smell from the lobby surrounds them, permeating through every inch of air that Y/N breathes in. Dust seems to coat every surface as well, with thick layers of it covering the decades old TV and stand, the small coffee table, and the ledge of the window to her right. 聽To her relief, there is a small arm chair in the corner, which must be the pull out that the attendant had mentioned. 聽However, her relief is short lived when she sees the ratty beige comforter on the bed, and wonders if maybe sleeping in Harry鈥檚 car, which she had sworn to him that she didn鈥檛 want to do, might have been the better choice.
Harry shuts the door behind them with a firm thud, turning the deadbolt lock before attaching the chain from the door to the door frame. 鈥淟et鈥檚 keep that locked, yeah?鈥 He mutters, walking to the window and making sure the beige curtains鈥攅verything in the room is a sea of beige, like some sort of khaki coloured nightmare鈥攁re pulled closed tightly. 鈥淚 don鈥檛 trust that front-desk prick not to sneak in here.鈥
Y/N nods, fixing the strap of her duffel bag with her overnight clothes on her shoulder. 聽She鈥檚 not quite sure where to set it down, as everything around them seems to have been sitting stagnant and uncleaned for a while. 鈥淵eah. Thanks, by the way. 聽For that.鈥
Harry acknowledges her thanks with a small grunt, barely lifting his head to look at her. 鈥淵ou don鈥檛 need to thank me.鈥
Despite her gratitude for his actions, Y/N can鈥檛 stop herself from rolling her eyes at his gruff response. 鈥淛esus, can you not just say you鈥檙e welcome?鈥
Harry chooses to ignore her comment, and instead sets his bag down on the arm chair, unzipping it roughly. 鈥淵ou can take the bed.鈥 He says simply, tossing his sunglasses into his bag before pulling out a small bag filled with what Y/N assumes are toiletries. 鈥淚鈥檒l take the pullout.鈥
鈥淔ine.鈥 Y/N reluctantly sets her own bag down on the creaking bed, pulling back the covers to check for anything unsightly. 聽To her relief, the interior of the bed looks cleaner than the exterior, and she returns the covers to their previous position before grabbing her phone charger from her duffel.
Harry glances at her as she gingerly sits on the bed and plugs her phone into the wall. 鈥淚鈥檓 going to shower.鈥 He says slowly, as if gauging her reaction to the simple phrase. 鈥淒o you, um, need in there, or鈥?鈥
鈥淣ope.鈥 Y/N shakes her head, her cheeks flushing slightly as she checks her messages. 鈥淵ou鈥檙e good.鈥 She keeps her eyes glued to her phone until she hears the click of the bathroom door behind Harry, signalling that she鈥檚 alone.
Taking advantage of what she knows will be a rare moment of solitude over the next week, Y/N changes from her tank top and leggings into her pajamas, wishing that her past self had realized how likely it would be that she鈥檇 be sharing a room with Harry. She鈥檇 brought exactly two pairs of pajamas with her on the trip, and neither pairs were something she wanted Harry to see her in. 聽The first pair, a baby pink silk set she鈥檇 bought on a whim from her favourite lingerie shop, is eliminated before Y/N even considers them, leaving her with just her usual casual pajamas. 聽Unfortunately, Y/N鈥檚 usual casual pajamas consist of an old sports bra that she鈥檇 had since moving to L.A., and a pair of men鈥檚 boxers that she stole from an ex in college. 聽Still, despite her hesitancy, she knows that plaid boxers and a faded grey sports bra are better than pink silk and lace, and she changes into them quickly before sitting cross-legged on the bed and dialing Jo鈥檚 number.
Jo, like she usually does, answers on the third ring, her voice extra chipper to compensate for the verbal lecture that she knows is coming. 鈥淗ey, Y/N! 聽How was driving today?鈥
鈥淚t would have been better if I鈥檇 known Harry was driving.鈥 Y/N sighs, rubbing her palm over the cold skin of her exposed thigh. 鈥淪houldn鈥檛 I have been informed of that decision?鈥
鈥淚t completely slipped my mind, actually.鈥 Jo says casually, and Y/N can just picture her leaning her chin into her palm. 鈥淗ow was the first day? 聽Are you calling to ask me to help bury his body in the desert? 聽Because, like, you know I would in a heart beat, but I think it may put a damper on mine and Laure鈥檚 nuptials if my best friend murders her best friend.鈥
鈥淣o one鈥檚 been murdered. Yet.鈥 Y/N glances at the bathroom door, the sound of the shower echoing through the vents and into the bedroom. 鈥淎lthough a 鈥榟elp me hide the body鈥 phone call may be coming soon.鈥
鈥淯h oh.鈥 Y/N hears something crackling against the speaker, and pictures Jo shifting the phone from one ear to the other. 鈥淚s it that bad?鈥
Y/N pinches the bridge of her nose as she contemplates the easiest way to answer Jo鈥檚 question. 鈥淗e鈥檚 such an irritating ass. 聽He really is.鈥 She lowers her voice, but only slightly. 聽If Harry鈥檚 eavesdropping, she thinks, then let him hear. 聽It would serve him right. 鈥淗e wanted to pick a fight over every little thing, and he鈥檚 so particular about his car鈥攄id you know he named it? 聽He named it, Jo. 聽He talks about it like it鈥檚 a person!鈥
A loud sigh echoes through the speaker. 鈥淭hat鈥檚 really not that weird, you know.鈥 Jo replies in her best peace keeping voice. 鈥淎nd, by the way, did you know that you鈥檙e really the only person who finds Harry irritating? 聽Laure adores him, and I really like him, and everyone who meets him thinks he鈥檚 very thoughtful!鈥
鈥淭hen they haven鈥檛 been trapped in a car with him and his playlists for eight hours.鈥 Y/N begins to tap her fingers against her knee in a quick staccato pattern. 鈥淗e practically interrogated me about Brant today, as if he has any clue about the people I date.鈥
鈥淒id he?鈥 There鈥檚 a trace of curiosity in Jo鈥檚 voice now, and Y/N can imagine her leaning forward in interest. 鈥淲hat did he say?鈥
鈥淗e said he thinks he鈥檚 boring.鈥 Twisting a lock of her hair behind her ear as she speaks, Y/N leaves her hand resting against her cheek. 鈥淗e was rude about it, too. 聽I didn鈥檛 ask for his opinion.鈥
鈥淲ell, honestly, Y/N鈥︹ Jo鈥檚 curiosity twists into hesitation. 鈥淏rant isn鈥檛 exactly the most thrilling person. 聽You know that.鈥
Y/N tugs her bottom lip between her teeth, her cheeks flushing for what seems to be the millionth time that day. 鈥淚鈥檓 aware of that. 聽But he didn鈥檛 need to be so smug about it!鈥
鈥淥kay, well, what鈥檚 done is done.鈥 Jo says as she takes on her mediator persona once again. 鈥淪o there鈥檚 nothing else to do now except go to sleep, get back in the car tomorrow, and continue driving.鈥
The sound of the shower stream cuts off, leaving just the pitter patter of rain beginning to hit the roof of the motel as ambiant noise. 鈥淚 guess.鈥 Y/N mumbles, fidgeting with the waistband of her bra. 鈥淚鈥檒l talk to you later. 聽Love you.鈥
鈥淟ove you, too.鈥
After the line clicks dead, Y/N flops back on the squeaking mattress and begins to scroll through her phone, opening her work email to check if everything is running okay back home while she鈥檚 gone. 聽On top of all this, the last thing she needs is for her work to completely blow up in her absence. 聽Within minutes, Y/N becomes so engrossed in her phone that she doesn鈥檛 even notice the bathroom door creaking open and Harry walking out with just a towel around his waist.
Until she looks up, and then her mind goes completely blank.
Immediately, Y/N feels overstimulated. 聽There鈥檚 just鈥o much going on that she doesn鈥檛 even know where to look first, let alone have the ability to remind herself that she shouldn鈥檛 even be looking at Harry like this in the first place. 聽
Harry鈥檚 curls are soaking wet, curling down around his flushed cheeks in a way that, if it were anyone else, she鈥檇 immediately describe as attractive. 聽Droplets of water are clinging to every inch of his skin, his toned and tanned and tattooed skin, that seems to continue forever as her eyes travel down his bare chest, noticing every curve of his muscle. 聽His jade cross, which is almost the exact shade of his eyes, sits between his pronounced pectoral muscles, moving ever so slightly with each step he takes. 聽Y/N notices tattoos she鈥檚 never seen before, like the giant butterfly across his toned stomach, and鈥攈er mind goes blank for just a moment鈥攖wo vines that are tattooed over his prominent pelvic muscles, which just barely dip beneath the white towel that鈥檚 wrapped loosely around his hips.
As Y/N鈥檚 eyes glue themselves to the way Harry鈥檚 towel is moving as he walks, arousal begins to pool in her stomach, travelling all the way down to her core and back again. 聽For a split second, she thinks that maybe Harry is right. 聽Maybe she doesn鈥檛 want to fuck Brant, because she knows for certain that she鈥檚 never thought about him the way she鈥檚 thinking about Harry in this moment.
But it鈥檚 Harry, she reminds herself, as she tries to force herself to snap her gaping mouth closed. Underneath all those muscles and tattoos鈥攁nd there are a lot of muscles and tattoos鈥攊t鈥檚 Harry, who annoys her to no end, who is one of the most self-absorbed individuals she鈥檚 ever met, and who has had it out for her since the day they met.
鈥淪orry.鈥 Harry鈥檚 low accent snaps Y/N from her thoughts and pulls her wandering eyes back to his face. 鈥淔orgot my clothes out here.鈥
鈥淚t鈥檚鈥斺 Y/N鈥檚 voice cracks in the middle of the word, still hyper-focused on just how it鈥檚 possible for one person to be as attractive as they are irritating, and she clears her throat before trying to speak again. 鈥淚t鈥檚 fine.鈥
If Harry notices the slip in Y/N鈥檚 voice, he doesn鈥檛 say anything. 聽Instead, he just walks to his open bag, locking one hand firmly over his towel as the other searches through his clothes. 聽He pulls out a t-shirt and a pair of shorts, examining them for just a moment before nodding in satisfaction and heading back to the bathroom. Y/N almost swears that she sees him glance at her one last time before he shuts the door, but then she gets lost in the taut muscles of his back, and forgets what she鈥檚 thinking entirely.
She鈥檚 only just begun to contemplate that maybe she should pull herself together when the door opens again, and Harry exits the bathroom in a way that鈥檚 a little more presentable. 聽His hair is still damp, but his body is dry, proven by the faded Rolling Stones t-shirt that鈥檚 now clinging to his arms and the boxers that are hanging low on his hips. His tattooed hips. 聽His incredibly sexy tattooed hips that could probably鈥
鈥淲hat are you wearing?鈥 Harry asks, raising an eyebrow at her as he moves his bag from the chair to the ground. 聽He begins to unfold the bed from the armchair cushions to reveal a creaking twin bed, carefully stretching it out as he waits for an answer.
鈥淚鈥攑ajamas.鈥 Y/N glances down at herself self consciously, fixing the strap of her sports bra as she does so. 鈥淚 just鈥擨 didn鈥檛 think we鈥檇 be sharing a room, so鈥︹
Harry nods tersely as he finishes setting up the bed, his expression unreadable while he walks to the closet and grabs a set of sheets and a blanket. 鈥淐ute boxers.鈥 He says casually. 鈥淎re they Brant鈥檚?鈥
Within a flash, the intense rush of attraction and desire Y/N had been feeling is gone, and is instead replaced by the familiar irritation as she watches a smirk grow in the very corner of Harry鈥檚 mouth. 鈥淣o.鈥 She says flatly, turning her attention back to her phone.
鈥淚nteresting.鈥 Harry says slowly, laying the sheets and blanket on the bed in a haphazard manner. 鈥淲hose are they, then?鈥
Y/N gets up from the bed and grabs her toiletry bag from her duffel before answering. 鈥淎n ex.鈥 She says shortly, tucking the patterned bag under her arm. 鈥淎nd why does it matter to you?鈥
The sound of the rain against the roof and windows gets louder and louder as they speak, and Harry raises his voice to be heard over the precipitation. 鈥淚t doesn鈥檛.鈥 He shrugs as he maneuvers his lanky body under the blanket without causing the bed to fold in on itself. 鈥淛ust curious, that鈥檚 all.鈥
鈥淲ell, you don鈥檛 need to be curious.鈥 Y/N opens the bathroom door, sparing one last withering glance at Harry over her shoulder. 聽He鈥檚 sitting up on the bed with one leg hanging out from beneath the covers as one hand plays with his hair, the other fiddles with a ring on his finger, and the way he looks at her from the corner of his eye lights a fire in Y/N鈥檚 chest. 聽Except she can鈥檛 tell if it鈥檚 a fire of anger or arousal. 聽
When she slams the door behind her, it鈥檚 her own confusion over that distinction that frustrates her more than anything else.
鈥淭ook you long enough.鈥 Harry scoffs while leaning against the side of his car, his white t-shirt a contrast to the dust covered body of the black Chevy Impala. 聽His dark sunglasses are perched on top of his head, keeping his unruly curls out of his eyes, while his arms are crossed over his chest impatiently as he waits for an answer. 鈥淚 dropped off the keys ten minutes ago.鈥
By way of explanation, Y/N holds up the cardboard drink tray in her hands, a brown bag balancing in between the two coffee cups. 鈥淚 was getting us breakfast, Styles. 聽Calm down.鈥 She walks to the passenger side of the car, opening the door and climbing in one handed. 鈥淚 figured you鈥檇 be even crabbier hungry.鈥
鈥淵ou mean you鈥檇 be crabbier without caffeine.鈥 Harry retorts, climbing into the driver鈥檚 side in one smooth motion. 鈥淗ere鈥斺 He takes the tray from her so she can buckle her seatbelt, carefully removing the two coffees and setting them in the cup holders between them. 鈥淛ust be careful not to spill anything.鈥
Y/N rolls her eyes as she picks up the coffee closest to her (she鈥檇 gotten them both black). 鈥淲hy? Worried about me ruining Stevie?鈥
Harry reaches into his pocket, pulling out his keys as he gives her an irritated look. 鈥淵es, actually. I鈥檝e put a lot of work into her.鈥 The car roars to life as Harry turns the key in the ignition, buckling his own seat as the motor warms up. 鈥淎dding on two thousand miles to her in five days is already worrisome enough, and that鈥檚 not even counting the other two thousand she鈥檒l get on the way back.鈥
Y/N doesn鈥檛 respond to the comment, and instead lets the sound of Harry鈥檚 playlist fill the silence of the car as Harry peels out of the Motel 6 parking lot. 聽She鈥檒l be glad to leave that place behind, she thinks, and focus on finding something better鈥攁nd more private鈥攆or tonight, wherever they end up.
Harry, however, doesn鈥檛 seem content with letting silence fall between them. 鈥淗ow did you sleep last night?鈥 He asks after a few moments, one hand on the steering wheel as he takes a sip of his coffee.
Glancing at him from the corner of her eye suspiciously, Y/N reaches into the paper bag and grabs her Danish, taking a small bite before answering. 鈥淣ot great.鈥
鈥淲as the bed bad?鈥 Harry asks curiously, his brow furrowing while his eyes stay glued to the road, moving only to glance at the occasion sign directing him back to the highway. 鈥淭he pull out wasn鈥檛 great, but I鈥檝e slept on worse. 聽I would鈥檝e thought the bed would be better than that.鈥
鈥淣o, it鈥擨 mean, the bed wasn鈥檛 amazing, but it鈥斺 Y/N clears her throat and swallows the bite of pastry in her mouth. 鈥淚, uh, I don鈥檛 sleep well when it鈥檚 raining.鈥
At this new information, Harry鈥檚 eyebrow quirks up, and he risks a look in her direction to attempt to read her face. 聽Y/N鈥檚 own eyes are focused on the Danish in her hands, refusing to meet his gaze as she lifts the pastry to her mouth to take another bite.
鈥淵ou don鈥檛?鈥 Harry asks after a moment, the confusion in his voice almost visible within the space between them. 鈥淏ut it鈥檚 like white noise, isn鈥檛 it? 聽Supposed to be relaxing, and all that.鈥
Y/N gives a half shrug of her shoulders. 鈥淚t鈥檚鈥攚ell, it鈥檚 not the rain, exactly, just鈥攚hat it鈥檚 usually paired with.鈥 Y/N hopes that her clear hesitancy to answer will be enough of a signal to Harry for him to drop the subject. 聽Harry, however, doesn鈥檛 seem to pick up on the reluctance in Y/N鈥檚 voice; or, at least, he doesn鈥檛 care enough to acknowledge it.
鈥淲hat do you mean, what it鈥檚 paired with?鈥 Harry takes a small sip of his own coffee, careful of the temperature of the liquid. 鈥淟ike鈥ind, or鈥?鈥
Y/N debates back and forth with herself internally, but she knows that Harry won鈥檛 drop the subject without getting a satisfying answer. 鈥淭hunder.鈥 She answers finally, setting her coffee down in her cup holder before turning her gaze towards her window. 鈥淚 don鈥檛 like thunderstorms, ever since I was a little kid, and when it鈥檚 raining, it always feels like thunder is around the corner. 聽Puts me on edge, like I鈥檓 waiting for it. 聽And I can鈥檛 sleep.鈥
鈥淪o you never sleep when it rains?鈥 Harry asks slowly, and the tone of incredulous disbelief in Harry鈥檚 voice is enough for Y/N to be able to imagine the expression on his face. His forest green eyes wide, strawberry pink lips agape, brow furrowed in confusion, his jaw slack as he contemplates a response to a grown woman admitting that she鈥檚 afraid of thunder. The image in her head is enough to make the back of her neck flush.
There鈥檚 a tightness in the back of her throat, and Y/N attempts to clear it again before answering. 鈥淣ever.鈥
鈥淗uh.鈥 Harry taps his fingers against the gear shift in succession three times. 鈥淵ou鈥檇 hate London, then.鈥
The casual comment catches Y/N by surprise, but she doesn鈥檛 allow herself to lower her guard. 鈥淭hat鈥檚 why I don鈥檛 live in London.鈥 She mumbles the words as her fingers pick at the napkin wrapped around her Danish. 鈥淚 picked L.A. for a reason. 聽It has lots of heat, barely any rain, and I鈥檓 reasonably close to Disneyland whenever I feel like I need something magical.鈥 The last part slips out without Y/N thinking, and the flush creeps further up her neck as a surprised laugh leaves Harry鈥檚 mouth.
鈥淪omething magical?鈥 Harry repeats, new crinkles appearing next to his eyes as he laughs, as if the dimples that crease his cheeks aren鈥檛 proof of his amusement enough. 鈥淒o you frequently feel like you need something magical?鈥
It鈥檚 Y/N鈥檚 turn to give an incredulous look now, her body half twisting towards Harry to observe his confusing reactions. 鈥淗ow did I just admit that I鈥檓 afraid of thunder, and the thing you鈥檙e focusing on is that I like Disney?鈥
Harry shrugs at her words, flicking on his turn signal to exit towards the highway. 鈥淚 don鈥檛 know.鈥 He says as he peers over his shoulder to check for oncoming cars. 鈥淚 mean, everyone has fears. 聽Not liking thunder isn鈥檛 exactly uncommon, you know. 聽However, hearing that Ms. Serious Type A Perfectionist likes magic鈥斺 His grin grows bigger by the second. 鈥淣ow that鈥檚 surprising.鈥
鈥淥h, shut up.鈥 Y/N mutters, finishing her Danish in a few more bites. 聽She waits until she鈥檚 entirely finished chewing before continuing the conversation over the voice of Billy Joel coming through the speakers. 鈥淪ince I鈥檝e admitted something I鈥檓 afraid of鈥︹ She starts, glancing at Harry from the corner of her eye. 鈥淚 think it鈥檚 only fair that you admit something, too.鈥
Harry snorts in response, his hand freezing its movement with his coffee cup still half lifted to his lips. 鈥淚s that so?鈥
鈥淢hmm.鈥 Y/N hums as she slips off her shoes in order to pull her legs beneath her to fold into a cross-legged position on the car seat. 鈥淣ot so much fun when it鈥檚 your turn, huh? C鈥檓on, what鈥檚 the Brit scared of? Not enough biscuits for afternoon tea?鈥
A short and harsh breath of air leaves Harry鈥檚 nose, half a snort as he sets his coffee down in his cupholder. 鈥淣o, actually, diminishing biscuit levels are a low level fear for me.鈥
鈥淭hen what鈥檚 a higher one?鈥 Y/N prods, watching as Harry鈥檚 neck muscles tense as he shoulder checks to change lanes. 聽There鈥檚 something about the movement that catches her eye, but she can鈥檛 quite figure out why鈥攐r rather, she can, but she鈥檇 rather pretend that she鈥檚 unaware.
鈥淯h鈥︹ Harry鈥檚 fingers nimbly switch on his turn signal before he transitions to the left lane, his right hand moving the gear shift to its desired place. 鈥淐rowds. 聽I鈥檓 not a fan of big crowds, really. 聽Like when everyone鈥檚 pressed together, so tight that you can鈥檛 breathe, and you can鈥檛 hear yourself think because it鈥檚 so loud鈥eah. I don鈥檛 like that.鈥
The simple answer surprises Y/N as much as she imagines her answer surprised Harry. 鈥淐rowds?鈥 She repeats back to him, a forgotten memory of long gone conversations coming to the forefront of her mind. 鈥淏ut what about, like, concerts and stuff? 聽Laure always told me when she鈥檇 go to shows with you鈥︹
鈥淭hat鈥檚 different.鈥 Harry shrugs as one of his ringed hands comes to his lips, rubbing over them slowly as he contemplates his next words. 鈥淚鈥hen I鈥檓 at concerts, I always go with someone, and if we鈥檙e in the general seating area, where there鈥檚 a lot of people, I always stick with them. 聽Like, sometimes, if it鈥檚 getting crowded, or people are pushing, Laure will hold my hand, so鈥︹ Redness begins to creep up Harry鈥檚 pale neck, staining the tops of his ears a deep berry colour as he trails off.
Not for the first time since their conversation began, Y/N is surprised at how candid they鈥檙e being with each other. 聽As she watches Harry鈥檚 blush grow, she feels her own diminish, a physical representation of her trading her embarrassment for something more empathetic.
鈥淚 get it.鈥 Y/N says after a moment, once it鈥檚 clear that Harry isn鈥檛 going to continue. 鈥淲hen there鈥檚 thunderstorms, um, I feel better when I鈥檓 with someone, or talking to someone. It makes me feel less鈥︹
鈥淎lone?鈥 Harry finishes for her, his eyes flickering from the road to her profile. 聽His green irises capture hers for longer than they should, his focus completely gone from the stretch of highway for at least five seconds before Harry鈥檚 attention turns back to driving. 鈥淵eah.鈥 He says slowly, pulling his sunglasses down from his hair to hide his eyes. 鈥淵eah, less alone. It helps.鈥
Y/N nods slowly, unable to look away from Harry鈥檚 side profile. 聽It鈥檚 apparent that he鈥檚 on edge after their conversation, and she knows her body language is the same. 聽Tight in the shoulders, hands clenched, back rigidly straight. 聽And yet, seeing her own body language reflected in front of her bothers her. 聽Part of her wants to reach out and take Harry鈥檚 hand, soothe him like Laure does in the crowd of a concert, but she knows that鈥檚 ridiculous. 聽It鈥檚 ridiculous, and it鈥檚 Harry, and Harry, of all people, does not need her comfort. 聽Not in the slightest.
She watches as Harry clenches his fist on top of his thigh.
鈥淚s this really necessary?鈥 Y/N asks, slamming her car door shut as Harry does the same on the other side of the vehicle. 聽She leans over the roof of the car, crossing her arms on the cool metal as she tilts her head to the side in an inquisitive manner. 聽The clouds in the sky are getting darker by the minute, signalling the beginning of the storm that canceled her flight, and the angry black colour above their heads is making Y/N anxious.
Harry, however, seems unbothered by the gathering storm, and nods tersely as he pushes his sunglasses up onto his head before opening the door to the backseat and grabbing his army green jacket. 鈥淥f course it鈥檚 necessary.鈥 He says, slipping the jacket over his broad shoulders before slamming the door shut and locking the car. 鈥淚鈥檝e never been to Utah before. 聽I want a souvenir.鈥
鈥淥kay, but鈥斺 Y/N follows Harry as he walks towards the dilapidated building in front of them. 鈥淗ere? Really? 聽Does this seem like the best place?鈥
Harry glances at her over his shoulder at her, pausing his long strides to look up at the building he spotted from the highway. 聽If the chipped grey paint that was once pastel blue and dust-coated windows are any sign, the structure is probably older than Harry and Y/N combined, with a splintered front porch wrapping around its small perimeter. 聽The building has one faded sign above the door that reads 鈥淪OUVENIRS/SNACKS鈥 in hand-painted capital letters, and seems to be hanging onto the outside fa莽ade by three small bolts and sheer willpower. 聽Y/N鈥檚 almost certain that she鈥檚 seen this exact building in a horror movie before someone gets murdered, and while getting back into the car with Harry isn鈥檛 at the top of her list of wants, it鈥檚 certainly preferable to getting stabbed to death by a serial killer.
鈥淚t鈥檚 fine, Y/N.鈥 Harry waves off her concern without a second thought about the appearance of the shop. 鈥淚f you鈥檙e really bothered, you can wait in the car.鈥
Y/N considers it for a moment, but decides against it. 聽She needs to stretch her legs, and honestly, Harry seems too trusting. 聽He probably wouldn鈥檛 be able to tell if someone was sketchy until their knife was in his back. 聽And, seeing as how he has the keys to the only getaway car available, Y/N kind of needs him around without a stab wound carved into his flesh.
鈥淟et鈥檚 just get this over with.鈥 She sighs, pulling her own jacket around her tighter as she steps over the worn wooden steps to the door. 鈥淲e鈥檙e on a schedule.鈥
When Harry pushes open the door, the smell of stale air hits Y/N before anything else. 聽Despite one open window and a fan in the corner of the shop that鈥檚 being used in a weak attempt to circulate the air, it feels like nothing fresh has been in the shop for a while. 聽Y/N shoots a glance at Harry, caution and warning written all over her face.
While Harry sees her glance, he waves off her concern, turning his attention to the few shelves and wire racks around the small shop that are lined with inventory. 聽Within a few moments, he鈥檚 entertaining himself in the post card section, comparing different photos of the Utah landscape to each other with great care and concern. 聽Y/N observes him for a few moments before wandering off on her own towards the snack section of the shop. 聽Although there are a few items that she thinks about picking up, the thick layer of dust over the packaging puts her off from purchasing them. 聽She grimaces as she continues walking, stopping in front of a tower of silver key chains in the back corner of the shop. 聽Most of them, she finds, are crosses and bible verses, and all of them give her an ominous feeling in her stomach. 聽Y/N runs her finger over a miniature silver version of the Ten Commandments, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth as she does so.
鈥淚 think we should go, Harry.鈥 She calls to him without turning around, setting the key chain back down on the rack carefully. 鈥淛ust pick your post card and鈥擧arry?鈥
When Y/N turns around, Harry鈥檚 broad figure is nowhere to be seen. 聽She walks back over to the post card section slowly, her brow furrowed with confusion as a knot tightens in her stomach. 聽Where could he be? She wonders, running her hand along the dusty wire rack in front of her. 聽It鈥檚 not like there鈥檚 anywhere for him to go in the small shop, and she would have heard if he left, or if he drove away.
鈥淗arry?鈥 She calls again, her steps slower now as worry fills her voice. 鈥淲here did you鈥攆uck鈥!鈥 Y/N screams as something grabs her from behind, its fingers digging into her sides harshly. 聽She whips around to find Harry standing over her, loud outbursts of laughter spilling from his strawberry pink mouth at the look on her face.
An indignant flush rushes over Y/N鈥檚 face. 鈥淵ou鈥檙e such an ass!鈥 She hisses, gripping his shoulders and shoving his laughing frame away from her. 鈥淚 swear, you鈥檙e like a five year old鈥斺
鈥淒id I worry you?鈥 Harry snickers between his words, a wicked look of mischief alight in his dark green eyes. 鈥淲ere you afraid something happened to me?鈥
Y/N鈥檚 cheeks burn with anger as she turns away from him, crossing her arms defiantly. 鈥淣o. 聽I wish something had happened to you. 聽Then I wouldn鈥檛 have to deal with your immature antics.鈥
Harry鈥檚 lips stay quirked up in a smirk as he follows her, his voice falling into a singsong tone. 鈥淵ou were worried.鈥 He insists, chuckles still rolling out of him every few moments. 鈥淚 could tell.鈥
鈥淥h, fuck off.鈥 Y/N snaps at him in an irritated voice. 鈥淛ust pay for your stupid post card and let鈥檚 go.鈥
鈥淚 already did. There鈥檚 a sign on the desk saying the clerk is out for lunch, so I left some money.鈥 Harry nods to the small desk in the corner with a few dollars left tucked under the dusty service bell. 鈥淚 think that鈥檒l cover it, yeah?鈥
鈥淲hatever.鈥 Y/N can鈥檛 resist shoving Harry one last time before walking towards the shop door. 鈥淭hat鈥檚 enough. 聽Let鈥檚 go. I want to make it to the motel before the storm hits.鈥
The nice thing about Grand Junction, Colorado, Y/N realizes, is that their motels have multiple single rooms available on short notice. 聽While she didn鈥檛 realize the importance of this fact before this trip started, having an evening of solitude and her own stable space away from Harry for the first time in two days is nothing short of a blessing.
When she gets inside her private motel room, which, while still shabby, is leagues above their previous motel, Y/N locks the door before breathing a sigh of relief. 聽Just the silence in the room is wonderful, and even though she knows Harry is right next door, having a wall between them is a luxury that she doesn鈥檛 take for granted. 聽When she showers, she doesn鈥檛 have to worry about being quick, or toweling off as fast as she can so she can get dressed inside the bathroom without Harry seeing. There鈥檚 no need to worry about anyone hearing Y/N sing quietly to herself under the (albeit weak) stream of the shower, nor is there an uncomfortable stick of her sports bra to her back caused by water droplets that she couldn鈥檛 reach in her hurry to dry off. And after her shower, with some of the knots from her back finally worked out, Y/N is able to stretch out on the double bed in the center of the room, her phone in her hand as she reaches for the takeout menus stacked on the bedside table. 聽She peruses the menus available before settling on Chinese takeout, and within five minutes, her order of a two entr茅e plate and fried rice is on its way.
Y/N sighs gently as she leans back on the pillows, wishing that she and Harry had stopped at a liquor store before coming to the motel. 聽She knows she could probably walk to one, but now that she鈥檚 showered and comfortable, the last thing she wants to do is wander around Grand Junction until she finds a bottle of Moscato. 聽Instead, Y/N flicks on the TV with a click of the ancient remote, and begins scrolling through the channels until she finds a rerun of Dirty Dancing that鈥檚 just starting.
An amused yet wry smile appears on Y/N鈥檚 lips. 聽It鈥檚 this movie鈥檚 fault that she and Harry are on an impromptu road trip, really. Jo and Laure both loved it, and were insistent that they had to get married at a resort in the Catskills similar to one from the film. 聽As her two friends cross her mind, Y/N settles into the sheets as Baby begins her narration, contemplating whether or not she should call Jo to check in. 聽Just as the thought pops into her head, however, the phone rings.
Y/N answers within a moment, not bothering to check the caller ID. 聽She and Jo had a strange habit of calling each other the moment the other thought of it, and when she raises her phone to her ear, she expects to hear her best friend鈥檚 familiar voice reply. 鈥淗ello?鈥
What voice she actually hears, however, surprises her. 鈥淗ey, Y/N. 聽I鈥檓 glad I got through.鈥 Brant says easily, his voice crackling slightly through the speaker. 鈥淗ow are you?鈥
鈥淏rant!鈥 Y/N jerks up in bed in surprise, the remote falling from its perch on her stomach onto the sheets. 鈥淚鈥擨鈥檓 fine. 聽How are you?鈥
鈥淥h, alright. 聽Just busy with work, but that鈥檚 the usual.鈥 Y/N can practically picture the neutral expression on his face, and how he鈥檇 shrug his shoulders as he speaks. 鈥淗ow鈥檚 the road trip? 聽I can鈥檛 imagine driving for as long as you have to drive.鈥
鈥淚t鈥檚鈥t鈥檚 alright, yeah.鈥 Y/N speaks slowly as she puts her phone on speaker, balancing it on her knee while her hands begin to fidget with her rings. 鈥淟ong, but not too bad.鈥
鈥淲ell, that鈥檚 good.鈥 Brant clears his throat thickly, as if what he鈥檚 about to say makes him uncomfortable. 鈥淚 miss you, though. 聽And our weekly dinners.鈥
A feeling of guilt washes over Y/N. 聽Truthfully, besides Harry鈥檚 inquisition on the first day of driving, Brant has barely crossed her mind. 聽Granted, he isn鈥檛 usually at the forefront of her mind while she鈥檚 in L.A., either, but for the last few days, her thoughts have been constantly consumed by the stress of making it to the wedding and her annoyance and frustration with Harry. 聽
鈥淵/N?鈥 Brant鈥檚 voice crackles through her speaker again. 鈥淎re you there?
鈥淚鈥攜eah.鈥 She says quickly, pulling herself from her thoughts. 鈥淪orry, just鈥攍ong day. 聽I鈥檓 tired.鈥
鈥淚 can imagine.鈥 Brant says sympathetically, but there鈥檚 something in his tone that almost sounds patronizing. 鈥淲ho are you driving with? 聽Have you been taking turns?鈥
Y/N pauses the fidgeting of her rings before snatching her phone from its balanced place on her knee. She quickly opens her messages and scrolls to her thread with Brant, searching through the text bubbles for a reminder of what she鈥檇 said to him. 聽Had she not told him that she was traveling with Harry?
Within a moment, Y/N confirms that she hadn鈥檛. 聽All she had said was that she was getting a ride with someone. 聽Why had she done that, she wonders? 聽She鈥檚 sure she鈥檚 mentioned Harry in passing to Brant at least once. 聽When she talked about the wedding, probably. 聽As she thinks about it more, however鈥hat had she told Brant about the wedding? 聽About Jo? How much does he actually know about her personal life? 聽Most of their dinner conversations revolve around work, or some book both of them have read. 聽Had the topic ever come up in detail?
鈥淚鈥檓, um, I鈥檓 driving with one of Laure鈥檚 friends.鈥 Y/N brings the phone closer to her mouth as her other hand works its way to her mouth. 聽She begins to chew on a hangnail absentmindedly between her words, something she always does when her nerves begin to get to her. 聽She can鈥檛 count the number of times Jo has grasped her wrist and pulled her hand from her mouth to chastise her about the habit. 鈥淲e鈥檙e鈥e鈥檙e in Colorado now.鈥
鈥淥h, Colorado. 聽That鈥檚 nice.鈥 Brant says over the rustling of papers. 鈥淟isten, Y/N, I鈥檝e got some work to get back to, but I鈥檓 glad we had this talk. I鈥檒l call you again soon.鈥
鈥淯h, yeah. 聽Sure. 聽I鈥檒l talk to you later.鈥 Y/N nods, and then the line goes dead. 聽Out of curiosity, Y/N checks the length of the call. 聽The time 3:09 blinks back at her.
Tossing her phone back down on the covers, Y/N resumes her relaxed position in bed, despite being anything but relaxed after that phone call. 聽She should feel guilty, she thinks, for not telling Brant about Harry. But then again, what鈥檚 there to tell? She said she was getting a ride with one of Laure鈥檚 friends, and that鈥檚 true. 聽She hadn鈥檛 lied. 聽And even if Brant did know that the friend is Harry, why would he care? 聽It鈥檚 just Harry. 聽There鈥檚 no reason for Brant to be alarmed, because there鈥檚 nothing going on. And she and Brant鈥/N glances down at the call time again. 聽Things are different between them. 聽There鈥檚鈥hey鈥檙e comfortable as they are, she thinks. 聽They鈥檙e not dating, and they鈥檙e comfortable like that. 聽So there鈥檚 no reason to tell him about Harry, because there鈥檚 nothing to tell. 聽Nothing at all.
Y/N refocuses on the TV screen, where Patrick Swayze is dancing in a tight black tank top. Right. 聽Nothing to tell.
When Y/N leaves her motel room the next morning with her bag over her shoulder, Harry is already waiting by his car, leaning against the dusty black body with two coffee cups in his hands. 聽He鈥檚 dressed in another black t-shirt (Y/N wonders just how many identical copies of the same shirt Harry has) with usual jeans covering his long legs. 聽His curls are tied out of his face with a dark green bandana, and Y/N knows that if his eyes weren鈥檛 covered with his black sunglasses, the bandana would make them even brighter than they usually are.
鈥淗ey.鈥 Harry calls to her, extending a ringed hand that holds a coffee cup towards her as she walks over. 鈥淚 got the coffee this morning. 聽You drink it black, right?鈥
Y/N nods as she takes the cup from him, careful not to brush over his fingers with her own. 鈥淵eah. Thanks.鈥
鈥淣o problem.鈥 Harry crosses around to the back of the car, opening the trunk with a turn of his key. 鈥淗ere.鈥 Harry holds out his free hand for Y/N鈥檚 bag, taking it from her and setting it down on top of the suitcases in the back. 鈥淚 got it.鈥
Y/N regards Harry with a bemused look as she wraps both hands around her coffee cup. 鈥淭hanks?鈥 She says again, more questioning this time as she looks at him strangely. 鈥淚 can do that myself, you know.鈥
鈥淚 know. 聽I鈥檓 just trying to be polite.鈥 Harry鈥檚 voice takes on its usual bite like he鈥檚 flipping a switch. 鈥淚s that alright with you, princess?鈥
Within a second, the familiar irritation with Harry returns to Y/N, and it鈥檚 almost comforting to snap back at him in a testy voice. 鈥淒on鈥檛 call me that.鈥
Harry snickers under his breath, and although the sound makes Y/N鈥檚 annoyance grow, she detects a different tone in it than a few days before. 聽Before she can place a finger on why it sounds different, however, Harry is climbing into the driver鈥檚 side of the car and starting the engine.
The two of them are silent as Harry finds his way back to the highway, and they stay in that silence for the first few hours of that day鈥檚 leg of the trip. 聽As the third hour begins to pass, Y/N is content listening to the throaty and captivating voice of Stevie Nicks fill the cab of the car. By the second chorus of the song, Y/N is humming along quietly, her foot tapping to the same beat that Harry鈥檚 fingers are spelling out against the steering wheel. 聽It鈥檚 comfortable, she thinks after a moment. 聽The silence between them. 聽It feels different than it did on their first day, when Y/N was questioning her choice to get into a car with Harry and commit to a 42 hour drive. The silence seems to be fueled more by comfort than tension. 聽It鈥檚鈥efreshing.
A memory from the first day ignites in the back of her mind, a spark so bright and obvious that she can鈥檛 believe it took her so long to see it. 鈥淪tevie.鈥 Y/N says suddenly, turning to Harry as a smile spreads over her face. 鈥淵ou named your car Stevie, as in Stevie Nicks?鈥
Harry laughs, his shoulders moving up and down beneath his black t-shirt from the motion. 聽One hand lifts from the steering wheel and points a finger gun at her. 鈥淭ook you long enough. 聽I was wondering how many days you鈥檇 have to listen to my music to get it.鈥
Y/N gives his hand a light shove. 鈥淚 was too distracted by the fact that you named your car.鈥 She rolls her eyes, bringing her bottle of water to her lips for a short sip. 鈥淚 still think it鈥檚 weird.鈥
鈥淚t gives her character.鈥 Harry defends himself as he rubs a hand over the steering wheel absentmindedly. Y/N can see the mirth swirling around in his light irises. 鈥淎 bit of personality. 聽Just because you don鈥檛 value personalities doesn鈥檛 mean anyone else doesn鈥檛.鈥
鈥淚 don鈥檛 value personalities?鈥 Turning in her seat to stare at Harry head on, Y/N raises an eyebrow in question. 鈥淲hat鈥檚 that supposed to mean?鈥
鈥淛ust your taste in men, that鈥檚 all.鈥 Harry says it casually, like it really can just be a 鈥渢hat鈥檚 all鈥 type of sentence.
Within a heart beat, the comfortable atmosphere in the car turns to ice as Y/N straightens in her seat, her spine tense, tightening every nerve in her body along with it. 鈥淲hat the fuck does that mean?鈥
When Harry glances at her again, his eyes darken, his guard going up as he senses the shift in Y/N鈥檚 tone. 鈥淣othing, just鈥otel rooms have thin walls.鈥 Harry mumbles, having the decency to keep his eyes on the road as his ears redden slightly. 鈥淎nd from what I overheard, Brant doesn鈥檛 exactly seem鈥timulating.鈥
Y/N sputters indignantly for a moment, unable to form a coherent response as anger rises in her chest. 鈥淵ou鈥斺 She sucks in a quick breath that hits the back of her throat harshly. 鈥淵ou eavesdropped on me?鈥
Harry licks his lips once, clearing his throat once before answering. 聽The tapping of his fingers against the steering wheel has resumed, his nervousness apparent in his movements as well as his facial expressions. 鈥淣ot on purpose. 聽I told you, the walls were thin.鈥
鈥淪o put in head phones!鈥 Y/N exclaims, gripping her water bottle so tight that her fingers begin to strain in protest against the metal exterior. 聽She has half a mind to throw the bottle at Harry in her anger, barely able to talk herself down from the ledge of the idea.
Harry鈥檚 posture shifts in his seat as his shoulders square, and Y/N can practically see his defensive side emerge from within his chest. 鈥淚t鈥檚 not like you two were having phone sex.鈥 He rolls his eyes at the idea. 鈥淚t was the most boring conversation in the world, and lasted, what, three minutes? 聽Makes you wonder how long he lasts in other ways, doesn鈥檛 it?鈥
鈥淪top the car.鈥 Y/N鈥檚 voice is low and void of emotion as she replies, her body turned back forward in her seat.
鈥淎m I wrong? 聽It鈥檚 not like you know for sure鈥斺
Anger bubbles over in Y/N鈥檚 chest, cancelling out any rational thought she has inside her and leaving pure, unadulterated fury. 鈥淪top the car, Harry! 聽Now!鈥
Harry half jumps in his seat when Y/N yells, and he quickly jerks the car to the side of the highway without so much as a turn signal. 聽Pulling her seatbelt off as he pulls over, Y/N is out the door before Harry can so much as put the car into neutral. 聽While her more rational mind would tell her that she has nowhere to walk to along a highway in Colorado as the sky darkens to an angry black above them, the only thing she鈥檚 thinking of is getting away from Harry. 聽Stupid, self-absorbed, ignorant, and rude Harry.
鈥淵/N鈥斺 The sound of Harry scrambling out of the car and slamming the door behind him pushes her to walk faster. 鈥淵/N, come back鈥斺
Y/N turns around on her heel fast and hard, heart pounding so fast that she thinks it might break through her ribs. 鈥淲hat is your problem?鈥 She hisses, pointing an accusatory finger at him. 鈥淲hy do you insist on being so鈥攕o nasty about him? 聽You don鈥檛 even know him!鈥
Harry freezes where he is as the wind whips his hair around his face, his bandana barely keeping the messy curls in place. 鈥淚 don鈥檛鈥斺 His speech falters, and he sucks in a sharp breath before continuing. 鈥淚 don鈥檛 think I鈥檓 being鈥asty.鈥
鈥淲ell, you are!鈥 Y/N takes a deep breath in, placing her hands over her stomach as it expands with air. 聽It鈥檚 a trick that Jo taught her back in high school, as a way to ground herself to her body. Feeling the movement of air in and out of her lungs helps calm her, even if by just a fraction. 鈥淏rant is just鈥攈e鈥檚 someone I鈥檓 talking to. 聽We鈥檝e gone on dates, but we鈥檙e not dating, and even though we鈥檙e not dating, that doesn鈥檛 mean that you can insinuate things about him, or eavesdrop on our private conversations!鈥
Harry鈥檚 jaw tenses as he listens to Y/N speak, waiting until she鈥檚 finished her speech to respond in a harsh and clipped tone. 鈥淚 already told you, I didn鈥檛 mean to eavesdrop. And I鈥檓 teasing you. 聽It鈥檚 supposed to be a joke. 聽Isn鈥檛 that what friends do?鈥
鈥淏ut we鈥檙e not friends, Harry.鈥 Y/N鈥檚 voice is flat, the fury in her tone replaced with a hollow emptiness. 鈥淲e鈥檙e not friends. 聽I don鈥檛 need you teasing me about a boy like we鈥檙e buddies, or whatever, because we鈥檙e not.鈥
Although Harry opens his mouth to respond, no words cross over the edges of his pink lips. 聽His jaw tightens even more as he closes his mouth again, and Y/N can see a million things flitting through his green irises, which are getting darker by the moment. 聽Y/N鈥檚 not certain if the darkness is from her words, or the black sky rolling above them that鈥檚 sapping the light of day from the atmosphere, and she鈥檚 not sure if she can take the answer either way. 聽Part of her knows that maybe鈥攋ust maybe鈥攕he鈥檚 blown this whole thing out of proportion, and maybe she should examine why Harry making fun of Brant bothers her like it does. 聽It鈥檚 not like she鈥檚 unaware of his shortcomings, she thinks, but then she wonders why she鈥檚 now seeing them as shortcomings, when a week ago, she saw them as positives. 聽Y/N never has to worry about Brant being too much for her, or forgetful, or scatterbrained鈥攈e鈥檚 organized, and secure, and stable, and that鈥檚 what she likes. 聽It鈥檚 always been what she likes.
Harry鈥檚 delayed response tears Y/N from her thoughts. 鈥淣ot friends. 聽Got it.鈥 He mutters, rubbing his hand over his stubbled and taut cheeks. 鈥淛ust get back in the car, then. 聽Let鈥檚 go.鈥
鈥淗ello! 聽My name is Gracie, I鈥檒l be your server today.鈥 The waitress in the tiny diner smiles at Harry and Y/N, a notepad in one hand and a half filled coffee pot in the other. 鈥淐an I get you guys anything to start?鈥
鈥淐offee.鈥 Harry and Y/N speak at the same time, each person鈥檚 eyes flickering to the other before looking away. 聽Y/N keeps her eyes focused on her off-white ceramic coffee cup as Gracie fills it, refusing to make eye contact with Harry again.
The last hour has been almost unbearable. 聽After they got back in the car, Harry had turned off his playlist, and for the first time since the road trip had begun, true silence had fallen between them. Y/N had thought she would like it, but truthfully, it had been the worst thing she鈥檇 ever heard. 聽Every few minutes, she鈥檇 hear Harry shift, or sigh, or tap a tense finger against the gear shift, and she wished that she could say something, but she didn鈥檛. 聽She couldn鈥檛. 聽She鈥檇 been grateful when he wordlessly exited the highway and parked in front of a diner, as the conversations of stopped truck drivers and the clatter of a kitchen was a good distraction from their argument.
A movement in the corner of her eye catches her attention, and Y/N glances up just enough to watch Harry slip a pat of butter into his coffee, stirring the contents of the cup with his spoon until it鈥檚 melted together. 聽She wrinkles her nose in disgust, and almost opens her mouth to make a comment (鈥淩eally, Harry? 聽Just add milk like a regular person, instead of drinking a cup of grease.鈥), but bites it back before it can fall off her tongue. 聽They鈥檙e not exactly in the position to make quips to each other, she thinks, especially after she told him that they weren鈥檛 friends.
Which they鈥檙e not. They鈥檝e never been friends; that fact isn鈥檛 exactly news. 聽Not getting along has been Harry and Y/N鈥檚 signature since the day they first met. So why is there a pit in Y/N鈥檚 stomach that gets deeper every time Harry looks away from her?
The click of heels alerts Y/N of Gracie鈥檚 returned presence before her voice does. 鈥淗ave you two decided what you鈥檇 like to eat?鈥
鈥淚鈥檒l have a turkey club, please, on whole wheat bread.鈥 Harry folds up his plastic menu carefully. 鈥淎nd a glass of water on the side.鈥
Gracie nods, taking the menu from him before turning her eyes to Y/N. 鈥淎nd for yourself?鈥
鈥淯m鈥斺 Y/N had barely glanced at the menu, too lost in her thoughts to think about it. 鈥淚鈥檒l just have a burger, please. 聽And a water, as well.鈥
Gracie nods as she writes down the order, taking Y/N鈥檚 menu and giving the pair one last smile before disappearing to the kitchen. 聽A fresh wave of silence falls between Harry and Y/N as each of them sips their coffee, both of them doing their best not to look at the person sitting across from them.
Y/N鈥檚 best, however, is not up to her usual standard, as she can鈥檛 stop herself from stealing a few quick glances while Harry looks out the window. 聽He hasn鈥檛 shaved in a couple days, she notices, as the stubble on his cheeks and chin is even darker than it was the day before. 聽There鈥檚 a permanent crease between his eyebrows, his face as tense as she鈥檚 ever seen it, and a darkness over his whole expression overall. It鈥檚 like there鈥檚 a new wall up between the two of them, and Y/N鈥檚 never felt more detached from him. 聽Which, honestly, is saying something.
She鈥檚 looking back down at her own half empty coffee when Harry finally speaks a few minutes later, his voice just as tense as his expression.
鈥淪hit.鈥 He says in a low voice, and then the next sound Y/N hears is that of someone ruffling through pockets. 聽
She looks up to see Harry doing just that, his hands digging through the outer pockets of his army green jacket. 鈥淲hat?鈥 She asks, her curiosity outweighing her need to continue the silent treatment. 鈥淲hat is it?鈥
鈥淚 had the vows in my鈥攎y pocket, but they鈥檙e鈥斺 Harry jams his hands inside a pocket sewn into the lining of his jacket, and Y/N watches as his face visibly relaxes. 鈥淥h, thank God. I thought they fell out.鈥
Harry removes his hand from his pocket, two folded up notes clutched within his hand. 聽Each one is labeled carefully, one with Jo written in Laure鈥檚 neat penmanship, and the other with Laure scribbled in Jo鈥檚 quick writing. 聽
Y/N recognizes the papers immediately. 聽It鈥檚 easy, really, considering the amount of time she spent helping Jo rewrite draft after draft of the same sentiments. 鈥淵ou have Jo and Laure鈥檚 vows?鈥 She questions, her eyebrows raising in surprise. 鈥淲hy?鈥
鈥淭he same reason you have their wedding bands.鈥 Harry shrugs as he turns the papers over in his careful fingers, making sure not to crease them. 鈥淭hey forgot them.鈥
A small smile plays on the edge of Y/N鈥檚 lips at the memory of her forgetful friends. 鈥淩ight. 聽Of course.鈥
Harry鈥檚 eyes flicker to Y/N鈥檚 mouth at the sign of movement, and he tugs his bottom lip between his teeth before responding. 鈥淲ant to take a look?鈥
鈥淎t their vows?鈥 Y/N looks around, as if someone could be watching and monitoring them. 鈥淚鈥攖hat doesn鈥檛 seem right.鈥
鈥淔ine. 聽Then don鈥檛 look at them.鈥 Harry says easily, setting the note labeled Laure on the table between them. 聽His nimble fingers unfold the paper labeled with Jo鈥檚 name as his green irises begin to scan across the sheet. 鈥淚鈥檒l read them.鈥
It only takes a few seconds of watching Harry read over the words for Y/N to crack. 鈥淲ait.鈥 She brings her thumb to her mouth, chewing anxiously on her cuticle as Harry quirks an eyebrow at her. 鈥淲ill you read them to me?鈥
When she asks, Harry spends so long staring at her that Y/N thinks he鈥檒l refuse. 聽His jade eyes meet hers with an intensity that almost makes her flinch, but Y/N holds his stare, refusing to be the first to back down. Finally, after what seems like an eternity, Harry gives a sharp nod, looking down at the note before he starts to read from the beginning.
鈥溾楳y darling Jo鈥,鈥 He begins, his voice soft and low, his accent thick. 鈥溾業t seems so strange that this day is finally here. 聽I feel like we鈥檝e been building up to it ever since the day we first met, and yet it鈥檚 always seemed so far away. 聽When I was a little girl, I always鈥欌︹ Harry trails off as his eyes continue to move across the words, and he clears his throat before attempting to continue to read aloud. 鈥溾業 always thought that there was something wrong with me. 聽I thought that the things that I felt, and the way that I loved, was dirty. 聽I thought it was wrong. 聽I thought that鈥攖hat I was going against God, and against nature, and that I was going to be punished for it. 聽And then I met you鈥.鈥
Harry pauses to take a sip of his coffee, and Y/N does the same. 聽There鈥檚 a shine beginning to appear in his eyes, and Y/N recognizes it as the beginning of tears because she feels the same thing brimming in her own eyes. She feels a bit guilty for reading the vows, but reasons that it鈥檚 for the best. 聽If she were to hear them for the first time at the wedding, she doesn鈥檛 think she鈥檇 be able to keep it together.
鈥溾楾he moment I met you, I knew that the way I loved could never be wrong, or be dirty, because I was loving you鈥.鈥 Harry鈥檚 accent grows thicker the more he reads, and although Y/N hasn鈥檛 seem Harry in many different emotional states, she can tell that this is a sign of how the vows are affecting him. 鈥溾楤eing with you could never be wrong, and God could never get mad at me for it, because only God could create someone as perfect as you. 聽I promise to love you when you wake me up at 3 A.M. because you鈥檝e stolen all the blankets, and I promise to love you at 6 P.M. when you almost burn down our apartment while trying to cook for me. 聽I promise to support you through everything, listen to your stories, and watch in wonder as you make a difference in this world. 聽I promise to never let my anger get the best of me, and to always give you the benefit of the doubt. 聽I promise to love every version of yourself that you grow into, just as I鈥檝e loved all the versions you once were. 聽I promise to love you in every way humanly possible, and even in ways that aren鈥檛 humanly possible. 聽I promise to love, period. 聽I鈥欌斺 Harry鈥檚 voice cracks, and he glances up at Y/N as he clears his throat to continue. 鈥溾業 love you鈥.鈥
Y/N doesn鈥檛 realize just how emotional listening to Harry read Laure鈥檚 vows has made her until the first tear wells over the corner of her eye. 聽She turns her head towards the window to wipe it away as quickly and inconspicuously as possible, but from the way Harry is looking at her when she turns back around, she knows that he caught what she was doing.
鈥淭hat, um鈥斺 Now it鈥檚 Y/N鈥檚 turn to attempt to clear the emotion from her throat. 鈥淲ow.鈥
Harry carefully folds Laure鈥檚 vows back up, taking extra care to re-crease the paper exactly how it had been folded. 鈥淚 didn鈥檛 know she鈥elt like that.鈥 Harry says after a moment, his voice quiet. 鈥淟ike she was鈥rong.鈥
Y/N, unsure of what to say, just nods while reaching for Jo鈥檚 vows in front of her. 聽Like Harry, she takes great care when unfolding the paper, smoothing it gently between her hands. 鈥淚鈥檒l read Jo鈥檚, then?鈥
Harry nods as he takes a sip of his water. 鈥淪ure.鈥
Y/N licks her lips once, wetting them with what little saliva she has in her mouth before beginning. 鈥溾楲aure鈥,鈥 She starts, emotion already rising up to form a lump in her throat. 鈥溾業 don鈥檛 even know where to begin. 聽I鈥檝e tried to write down all the ways I love you a million different times, but I can never seem to find the right words. 聽The problem is, I don鈥檛 think that there is a big enough word to describe what I feel for you. 聽鈥楲ove鈥 is only four letters, and four letters is just not enough to contain everything I feel. 聽鈥楢doration鈥 is nine letters, but even that doesn鈥檛 come close. 聽I think the best way I can describe it is 鈥榩ermanent鈥.鈥 Y/N pauses her reading to take a long gulp of water, the coolness soothing the dry and parched feeling in her mouth and throat. 鈥溾楢nyone who knows me knows that I have trouble committing. 聽The idea of having something forever, of being in one place, normally terrifies me. But the idea of having you forever, and being in one place with you forever鈥hat鈥檚 all I want. 聽I want us to be permanent to each other. 聽Even when we struggle, and we will struggle, I know that we won鈥檛 fall apart. 聽Committing to you isn鈥檛 any trouble. 聽It鈥檚 as easy as breathing. 聽I鈥檓 sure of you, and I鈥檓 sure of us. 聽I love you, permanently. 聽I鈥檒l love you when you鈥檙e sick and gross, and I鈥檒l love you when you鈥檙e old with a bad hip.鈥 A small laugh falls out of Y/N鈥檚 mouth before she continues. 鈥淚鈥檒l love you when you haggle at flea markets for the best prices, and I鈥檒l love you when you do something so stupid that it makes me want to tear my hair out. 聽I love you permanently, and I want all of our family and friends to witness me saying that. 聽I鈥檒l never back out, or bail, or run away from you. 聽You鈥檙e the one thing in my life that鈥檚 never felt hard. You鈥檙e my home base, and my north star, and you bring me back down to Earth whenever I need it. 聽I love you permanently, Laure. 聽I鈥檒l never stop鈥.鈥
As she finishes reading, Y/N folds the paper back up, wiping her eyes on the back of her hand before grabbing the other note sitting on the table. 聽She pushes them towards Harry, her misty eyes unable to meet his. 鈥淗ere. Put these away again, somewhere safe.鈥
Harry takes the vows from her, slipping them back inside his inner jacket pocket for safekeeping. 鈥淚t鈥檚 probably鈥斺 He clears his throat once more, and Y/N knows that the vows have caught him in his chest just as they鈥檝e caught her. 鈥淚t鈥檚 probably good that we read them now, so that we鈥檙e鈥repared for the ceremony.鈥
鈥淵eah.鈥 Y/N wraps her hands around her coffee mug, the warm ceramic surface heating her cold fingers. 鈥淵ou鈥檙e right. 聽They really鈥ove each other.鈥
Harry taps his fingers against the table top, a concentrative and thoughtful expression on his face. 聽His eyebrows are knit together above his stormy green eyes, and his pink tongue swipes over his pinker lips once before he speaks. 鈥淵ou know, Laure is my closest friend. 聽I don鈥檛 want her to get hurt.鈥
Immediately registering the tone of Harry鈥檚 voice, Y/N鈥檚 head snaps up, her own eyes becoming stormy as they meet his own. 鈥淛o would never hurt Laure.鈥 Y/N says defensively, the hairs on the back of her neck pricking up at even the suggestion of her friend hurting someone. 鈥淒idn鈥檛 you hear her vows? 聽I鈥檝e never heard her sound so sure of something in her entire life.鈥
Harry鈥檚 jaw flexes at the cadence of Y/N鈥檚 voice, and his is just as agitated when he responds. 鈥淚鈥檓 just saying, if anything ever happened鈥斺
鈥淎nd I鈥檓 just saying, it won鈥檛.鈥 The tension between them doubles as Y/N shoots Harry an icy glare. 鈥淒o you just look for the worst in people? 聽Is that all you do?鈥
鈥淵ou think I look for the worst in people? 聽Really?鈥 Harry barks out a harsh laugh, pressing one hand flat against the table as the other fixes his bandana. 鈥淐hrist, if that鈥檚 what you think of me鈥斺
鈥淲hy would I think anything else?鈥 Y/N asks incredulously, tilting her head to the side as she regards him. 鈥淎ll you鈥檝e shown me is鈥斺
鈥淎lright, I have the turkey club on whole wheat, and the burger here.鈥 Gracie appears suddenly to Y/N鈥檚 right, her tray loaded with food. 鈥淗ere you guys are鈥︹ She sets the plates down in front of Harry and Y/N, her gaze darting between them nervously as she reads the tension in the booth. 鈥淚s鈥here anything else I can get you two?鈥
鈥淣o.鈥 Harry鈥檚 voice is hard. 鈥淲e don鈥檛 need anything else.鈥
By the time Harry pulls the car into a motel just off the highway in Lexington, Nebraska, all Y/N wants is a moment alone. 聽The strained atmosphere during that day鈥檚 drive had been unbearable, and between the anxiety from her confrontation with Harry and the sound of thunder beginning in the distance, Y/N just needs some space to herself to relax and calm down.
Of course, just because that鈥檚 what she needs, doesn鈥檛 mean that she鈥檚 going to get it. 聽When Harry returns back to the car with a single key in his hand and a sour look on his face, Y/N knows for sure that the universe is against her.
This room, at least, she鈥檚 pleased to find, has two actual beds, which are pushed up against the wall perpendicular to the door with a small night table between them. 聽However, that鈥檚 where her pleasure stops, as the click of Harry turning the lock behind her just reminds her that she鈥檚 trapped in here, with no chance to get away from Harry, the oncoming storm, or any one of her problems that have developed over the last four days. 聽The reality of the situation hits her all at once, and it takes all of Y/N鈥檚 self control to toss her bag on the bed and walk brusquely to the bathroom, slamming the door and locking it behind her before she allows herself to show a sign of her emotions.
The rest of the evening passes in silence. 聽She showers before changing into her sports bra and boxers, but the amount of exposed skin sends a vulnerable shiver down her spine. 聽Y/N opts for pulling a sweatshirt over her body, and then sets herself the task of braiding her hair to distract herself. 聽After that鈥檚 done, she busies herself with her skincare routine, taking up as much time as she can in the bathroom before she absolutely has to leave its private interior.
Harry, however, seems to want to see as little of Y/N as she wants to see of him, and pushes past her to enter the bathroom the moment that she steps out of it. 聽His routine, it seems, is designed to take up just as much time as hers was, because by the time Harry exits the bathroom, the scent of his shampoo trailing behind him, Y/N is already tucked under the covers of her bed, although she鈥檚 far from asleep.
In the time it took for her to shower and get ready for bed, the storm had picked up, and the only thing audible in the room was the sound of rain pelting against the roof and window, the wind howling through the trees, and Y/N鈥檚 shallow, uneven breaths. She wraps the sheets tightly around herself, pulling them taut to her chin with clenched fists that tighten every time a clap of thunder echoes through the room. 聽Although she鈥檚 turned to face the wall, away from Harry, she can hear his footsteps pause as he gets a glimpse of her shivering form beneath the blankets, and she does her best to will herself to appear asleep. 聽Breathing in as deeply as her tight chest will allow her, Y/N attempts to even her breathing, forcing her shoulders rise and fall in a way that appears natural and normal. 聽But all it takes is one clap of thunder for the controlled motion to go out the window.
鈥淵/N鈥︹ Harry鈥檚 voice is low, but despite its raspy cadence, it lacks the rough edge that it had earlier. The bed behind her squeaks, signalling that Harry鈥檚 taken a seat on the edge of it. 鈥淎re you鈥?鈥
鈥淚-I鈥檓 fine.鈥 Y/N says quickly, pulling the sheets tighter to her chin as another shiver rolls through her body. 鈥淕o to sleep.鈥
There鈥檚 another creak of Harry鈥檚 bed, and Y/N imagines him climbing under the starched linen covers, his damp curls flopping into his eyes as he lays back on the lumpy motel pillow. The image is almost enough to distract her until there鈥檚 another clap of thunder. 聽The sound seems to shake the motel room, and Y/N can鈥檛 stop the small whimper that leaves her lips as her body jumps in response.
鈥淲hen I was a little kid, my mum took my sister and I to the fair every year.鈥
Harry鈥檚 deep voice cuts over the rain, and Y/N shifts in her bed, turning over to face him. 聽She keeps the covers pulled up to her chin, but readjusts herself so that she can keep her head on her pillow while looking Harry in the eye. 鈥淲hat?鈥 She asks, confusion audible in her quiet tone.
Harry shifts himself as she does, continuing to move down until he鈥檚 completely horizontal, with one hand tucked under his pillow as he speaks. 鈥淢y mum took my sister and I to the fair. 聽It came to Holmes Chapel every spring, and there were always rides, and games to play, and so many things to see. 聽It drew crowds from nearby villages every year, really big crowds, and my mum always held my hand tightly so I wouldn鈥檛 get lost.鈥
鈥淚 don鈥檛 understand, what鈥斺 Another clap of thunder shakes the room, making Y/N flinch halfway through her sentence.
鈥淵ou鈥檙e okay.鈥 Harry says immediately, his calm jade eyes focused on her as the reassurance slips from his mouth. 聽He waits a moment, gauging Y/N鈥檚 body language and waiting for his examination to be positive before resuming his story. 鈥淪o鈥y mum always told me not to wander off, but when I was six, I did. 聽I saw some older kids playing games that I wanted to play, and Gemma was busy playing some sort of game with a ball鈥擨 can鈥檛 really remember what鈥攁nd when my mum turned her back, I ran off.鈥
Y/N鈥檚 about to open her mouth to ask why he鈥檚 telling her the story when the answer clicks into place in her head. 聽She thinks back to the conversation in the car the day before, how she told Harry that it helps when someone talks to her to distract her from the thunder. 聽That鈥檚 what he鈥檚 doing, she realizes, as she forces herself to focus on his quiet and level voice. 聽He鈥檚 trying to keep her calm, even after everything she said and did today.
鈥淚 don鈥檛 look like it now,鈥 A small smile flits across Harry鈥檚 blushed lips. 鈥淏ut I was pretty scrawny back then. 聽And all the people around me were so tall, my eyes were barely level with their hips. Everyone was rushing around, going in all directions, and I kept calling for my mum, but she couldn鈥檛 hear me. 聽No one stopped to help me. 聽I felt like I was鈥rapped. 聽Like it was a huge forest of legs, running all around me, circling me, and I couldn鈥檛 get out. 聽I was probably only gone for five minutes, but to a six year old, it felt like an eternity. 聽And just something about it鈥 don鈥檛 know. 聽It changed me. 聽I still don鈥檛 like crowds because of that day.鈥
Y/N鈥檚 shoulders unclench the slightest bit as another gust of wind blows against the window. 鈥淭hat must have been scary.鈥
Harry鈥檚 own shoulders lift in a slight shrug as he shifts the sheet to cover him more. 鈥淚t was. But I can鈥檛 change it. 聽I just have to deal with the repercussions of it. That鈥檚 all a fear is, really. 聽A side effect. 聽We just have to deal with them as best we can.鈥
More thunder booms loudly outside, but Y/N manages to keep her flinch to a minimum, despite her hands curling into fists again under the covers. 鈥淗arry鈥︹ She whispers his name into the darkness between them, his outline barely visible save for his green eyes. 鈥淚鈥檓鈥擨鈥檓 sorry about today.鈥
Harry shakes his head, his damp hair rubbing against his pillow. 鈥淵ou don鈥檛 have to apologize.鈥 He whispers back, his tone as gentle as she鈥檚 ever heard it. 鈥淚 was an arse. 聽I shouldn鈥檛 have pushed the topic.鈥
鈥淚 shouldn鈥檛 have been so uptight about it.鈥 Rubbing her eyes with one fist, Y/N lets out a low sigh. 鈥淚 felt so shitty all day because of our fight. 聽I鈥檝e never鈥one of our fights have ever made me feel like that.鈥
鈥淢aybe it鈥檚 because鈥︹ Harry鈥檚 tentative voice trails off, his eyes flickering to the ground for a brief moment before staring back at Y/N nervously. 鈥淚 don鈥檛 know. 聽I thought we were getting along better. 聽For a moment, at least.鈥
鈥淲e were.鈥 Y/N鈥檚 teeth tug on her bottom lip, and she feels a sudden shyness overcome her at the admission. 鈥淚鈥檓 sorry I said that we鈥eren鈥檛 friends. 聽I think鈥 don鈥檛 know. 聽I鈥檝e been stubborn for so long, but I can see now that you鈥檙e different than I thought you were.鈥
鈥淵eah. 聽Me too. 聽I was wrong, too.鈥 Harry runs a hand through his damp curls, a soft laugh leaving his mouth. 鈥淗ow did we even end up like this? 聽I barely remember what made us hate each other so much in the beginning.鈥
鈥淪eriously?鈥 Y/N raises an eyebrow, barely peaking out from beneath the sheets as another clap of thunder sounds. 鈥淵ou don鈥檛 remember?鈥
Harry mimics her expression. 鈥淒o you?鈥
鈥淵es! 聽It was the very first night we met. 聽We had that double date with Laure and Jo.鈥 Shifting beneath her covers, Y/N moves herself into a better position on her side, so she can be more comfortable while still maintaining eye contact with Harry. 鈥淎nd you were rude, and made inappropriate jokes, and you left in the middle of the date to go chat up a sorority girl!鈥
鈥淲ait a minute, no!鈥 Harry protests the memory, half sitting up in his bed as he speaks. 鈥淭hat鈥檚 not what happened!鈥
鈥淵es, it is!鈥 A small laugh falls off Y/N鈥檚 lips at his indignant reaction. 鈥淚 remember it perfectly!鈥
鈥淣o, you remember it wrong!鈥 Although a flush creeps up Harry鈥檚 neck, there鈥檚 an amused smile playing on his lips, a tiny hint of a dimple just barely appearing in his visible cheek. 鈥淚 was making jokes to try and break the ice, which didn鈥檛 work on the Ice Queen, it seems鈥斺 Harry motions to Y/N teasingly. 鈥淎nd you鈥檙e the one who started talking to some bloke before I started talking to that girl!鈥
Another clap of thunder echoes through the room, but Y/N hardly notices as she thinks back to the night they met, and who Harry could possibly be referring to. 鈥淎 bloke鈥? 聽He was a classmate of mine! 聽I had to talk to him!鈥
鈥淵eah, well, you didn鈥檛 have to enjoy it so much.鈥 Harry grumbles, crossing his muscled arms over his sheets. 鈥淚 had been so excited when Laure said she had an American girl for me, and then鈥斺
鈥淵ou were excited?鈥 Y/N asks, her voice laced with surprise. 鈥淩eally?鈥
The flush on Harry鈥檚 neck works its way to the apples of his cheeks. 鈥淲ell, yeah.鈥 He mumbles the words as his eyes drop from Y/N鈥檚, slipping both hands beneath his head. 鈥淪he said that you were funny, intelligent, witty, beautiful鈥斺
鈥淎nd then you met me, and realized that it was all a lie?鈥 Y/N finishes for him, rolling her eyes in the darkness.
鈥淣o.鈥 Harry gives a small shake of his head as his body shifts, the motel bed creaking under his weight. 鈥淣o, she wasn鈥檛 wrong. 聽You were all of those things. 聽But I wasn鈥檛, and it seemed like鈥 don鈥檛 know. 聽Like you didn鈥檛 think I was good enough for you. 聽I couldn鈥檛 keep your attention.鈥
The teasing smile slips from Y/N鈥檚 face as she registers Harry鈥檚 words. 鈥淵ou thought that I thought you weren鈥檛鈥ood enough?鈥
The nervousness is clear in Harry鈥檚 voice now, even over the pounding of rain against the window. 鈥淭hat鈥檚 what it seemed like, yeah.鈥
鈥淚 never鈥擨 didn鈥檛 think that.鈥 Y/N says slowly, managing to relax her body beneath the sheets as she keeps her focus on the memory of meeting Harry. 鈥淚 wasn鈥檛 exactly thrilled to be there, but that鈥檚 because Jo set the date up without telling me. 聽I thought you were handsome, and I liked your accent, but then you started to act weird, and you started flirting with that girl, so I thought you were an ass.鈥
鈥淵ou still think I鈥檓 an arse, princess, be honest.鈥 The teasing tone replaces the nerves, and for once, Harry鈥檚 joke has the intended affect on Y/N. 聽When she rolls her eyes again, it鈥檚 more playful, and the same tone is in her voice when she responds.
鈥淚 told you, don鈥檛 call me princess.鈥 She replies, running her teeth over her lip gently. 鈥淪o鈥 guess we both kind of fucked up that day.鈥
鈥淵eah.鈥 Harry nods, a sheepish smile playing over his red lips. 鈥淚 guess so.鈥
鈥淐an we just restart?鈥 Y/N鈥檚 voice is small when she asks the question, barely audible over the sounds of the storm raging outside. 鈥淟ike, all the way from the beginning. No more grudges, no more yelling. Even if it鈥檚 just for this trip, for Jo and Laure鈥斺
鈥淚t doesn鈥檛 have to be just for this trip.鈥 Harry cuts in, his eyes catching Y/N鈥檚 again. 鈥淲e鈥檙e going to have to be around each other for a long time. 聽It鈥檒l be a lot easer if we get along.鈥
Y/N nods in agreement, tugging down her covers to extend one arm towards Harry. 聽She makes a fist, holding out just her pinkie finger to him with half a grin on her face. 鈥淭ruce?鈥
The space between their beds is small, and Harry鈥檚 long arm easily makes it across the no man鈥檚 land to meet Y/N鈥檚 pinkie with his own. 聽He loops it together with a smile that matches hers, tired and content and just at the edge of a humble new beginning. 聽Harry鈥檚 response is almost inaudible as thunder booms loudly outside the room, but Y/N can still pick out the cadence of his accent under the noise.
鈥淭ruce.鈥
(pt II)
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finelinevogue2 months ago
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hii im so sorry to bother, i鈥檓 trying to find a fic where harry and reader are best friends and its about how he wrote fine line for her and they listen to it together for the first time?? sorry again it鈥檚 ok if u don鈥檛 want to answer!!
hi i鈥檓 really bad at finding fics for people but maybe ask like a fic rec account idk?? i decided to write my own for you, though, in case you never find the others again!! i鈥檓 not sure whether it鈥檒l be as good as the others but i enjoyed writing it;
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Harry was really fucking nervous.
You were currently setting yourself up on the couch, along with Mitch, Jeff, Tyler and Kid, about to listen to Harry鈥檚 album for the first time. You were tucked on an arm chair by yourself and had a blanket draped over your body to keep you warm. The rest of the guys were on the L-shaped sofa, passing out beers between them. This was such a big day for Harry, because he would get to see you listen to his heart and soul through Fine Line.
This past year had been really hard for him, what with losing a relationship with Camille Rowe. Despite what had gone down between the two of them you thought that she hadn鈥檛 been a good person for Harry to be around, but that might be your jealous-ego speaking a bit too loudly. Jealous, because he had given his heart to someone that wasn鈥檛 you when your heart was waiting for him. Jealous, because you loved him so much and yet you were his best friend. You knew exactly who and what this album was going to be about, and it pained you that you鈥檇 have to lie about whether you were okay listening to it.
You weren鈥檛, but you were his best friend so you had to be.
鈥淐orona or San Miguel H?鈥 Mitch asked Harry, from where he was setting up the audio features in his house so he could bluetooth his phone to the ceiling speakers. He was going to put those bloomin鈥 speakers to use since he paid a legs worth to install them.
鈥淒on鈥檛 mind, Mitchy.鈥 He shouted back and you smiled at the simpleness of this whole situation.
You loved getting to see Harry in his real life. He was so soft and comfortable with the people around him and you were honoured that you got to be one of the people to see him like this. You were his best friend after-all, so he鈥檇 want no one else by his side but you. You calmed him and grounded him when he needed it most and he owed a lot of his success to you, that鈥檚 why he was letting you listen to the first run-through of the final product. That, and he wanted his inspiration to hear how鈥檇 you鈥檇 impacted him.
鈥淵/N?鈥 Mitch held up both bottles of beer and was silently asking you to choose.
鈥淚鈥檒l just stick to my cuppa tea, thanks Itch.鈥 Don鈥檛 ask why you called him 鈥業tch鈥, but you just did and it had stuck. He liked that he鈥檇 been given a nickname though - one different from anyone else.
Harry came into the room, beaming with happiness. He was wearing cream coloured pants with a blue and white striped shirt, an added bandana around his neck for good measure. He wore bright pink socks on his feet and had his sunglasses tucked into his hair as always. He looked just like your Harry from 18 years ago, but just with a beard, a tan and tattoos. He was still yours, even if he didn鈥檛 quite see that.
He walked past Mitch to claim his beer and thanked him along the way. You thought he was going to sit with his buddies, but he came over to sit with his best buddy instead.
鈥淯p.鈥 He demanded of you, making a grabby hand as if that was miraculously going to make you get up. You didn鈥檛 question him and just did as you were told, gripping the blanket still around you. Harry tucked himself onto the chair that you鈥檇 just been sat on and then pulled at your waist for you to sit back down, on his lap this time.
This, right here in this moment, is the reason why people often mistook you for being a couple. Not that you complained or corrected when they did.
鈥淚鈥檓 not squishing you am I?鈥 You asked, tilting your head to the side to catch his pretty face.
鈥淣o, not at all love.鈥 He smiled at you, before turning back to the rest of the room - no matter how hard that might鈥檝e been for him. He鈥檇 pick looking at you all day, every day, over anything, but he was so oblivious to you feeling exactly the same way that he didn鈥檛 want to seem like a creep - you, likewise.
鈥淩eady for this H?鈥 Tyler asked, his long jesus-hair reminding you of what Mitch鈥檚 used to be - what Harry鈥檚 used to be.
鈥淲onder what the trumpets on Watermelon Sugar are gonna sound like?鈥 Kid asked, knowing how badly Harry had wanted to add trumpets to the song but had never stayed around long enough to actually hear them be added. He was in for a treat.
鈥淵ou named a song Watermelon Sugar?鈥 You chuckled at him and Harry frowned at how you were so quick to tease him, before even listening to the song.
He poked your side with his free hand - you knew this was a bad idea sitting in his lap.
鈥淥i no more spoilers, otherwise this one is never gonna want to make me play it out loud.鈥 He spoke to the wider group, still tickling his fingers into your side like the wanker that he was.
You huffed and grabbed his sunglasses off his head and placing them on your face, covering your eyes over. They had an orange tint to them and it was trippy to see the world a little more burnt. Harry was quick to whip them back off your face, nearly poking out your eye in the process, and putting them bad on his messy head of hair.
鈥淲oah! I looked good in them too, dickhead.鈥 You scoffed at him, bringing your mug of tea up to drink.
鈥淵eah, but I wanna see your face when you listen to m鈥檚ongs.鈥 He replied, the tea steaming up your face a bit - or was it him?
鈥淕od, that鈥檚 a lot of pressure.鈥
鈥淥nly 12 songs.鈥
鈥淚 don鈥檛 have enough facial expressions to get me through 12 songs.鈥 You tried to joke, putting him at ease because you could tell that he was becoming very nervous over the fact that he was showing you his most treasured baby.
鈥淛ust promise me you鈥檒l tell me if y鈥檋ate something.鈥 Harry made it clear that your opinion was his most important from the start of this project, and he needed it now more than ever. You鈥檇 only been let in the studio to head clips of some of the melodies and Harry would sometimes ask you for words that rhymed with other words, but you hadn鈥檛 fully heard any songs and you certainly hadn鈥檛 heard the album in full. It was both exciting and terrifying.
鈥淐ould never hate anything you produce, sunshine.鈥 You turned to smile at him, tuning out the conversations that the other lads were having in the room.
鈥淭hank you, Y/N.鈥 Harry spoke sincerely, looking deep into your eyes to convey that he really meant it.
鈥淔or what?鈥
鈥淔or just being here. For supporting me. I feel like I don鈥檛 thank you enough for everything you do for me and have done for me, so thank you.鈥 You choked up a bit over his words, finding your heart tighten and expand at how precious he was. He always managed to find ways to make your heart take more of him.
鈥淵ou don鈥檛 have to thank me for anything.鈥 You shook your head at him like he was being silly.
鈥淚 do, so will you just humour me and take the gesture?鈥
鈥淥kay.鈥
You had to turn away from him, otherwise he would see your tears in your eyes and you didn鈥檛 want him to see them. At least not yet. You didn鈥檛 want him to think you were so overly emotional just because of some little words he said to you, however much they weren鈥檛 just little words to you.
鈥淩eady?鈥 Jeff asked, before he could press play on the phone that held the album on. A phone that had been purchased specifically for the album and had no trace to Harrys phone or anything, for the protection against it being hacked.
There were a few nods of heads and a couple of yes鈥, but you just focused on Harry鈥檚 words; 鈥淭his is for you.鈥
You couldn鈥檛 get any words in before the introduction to the first started playing. It started off as some sort of piano and cymbal playing that made you almost want to get out of chair an start tapping your foot. You jolted back as the prime of the song started, making Harry chuckle at your reaction. The song made your feel so happy and all you鈥檇 heard was melodies.
鈥淥h I loved making this one!鈥 Mitch exclaimed, shooting back a sip of his drink. Everyone looked really happy over this song and so you couldn鈥檛 help but smile too.
鈥淟et me guess, Golden?鈥 You asked.
鈥淢hm.鈥 Harry nodded, proud of you for guessing right.
The lyrics were so well written and they fit the melody so well. It was such a happy and upbeat song, but you could hear the sadness behind the lyrics. His pitch was perfect and the way he complimented his own voice was beautiful. The bridge sounded like a little fairy dance and it made you dance a bit - it was just so catchy.
鈥淒amn that guitar though Mitch!鈥 Tyler shouted above the noise, praising Mitch鈥檚 skill on the guitar. He was a beast.
鈥淥h man this song is just so good!鈥 Kid exclaimed, tapping his hands away on his leg to the song.
When you felt the song come to an end, the lyrics fading out and the tinkering of the cymbal continuing you felt so elated. That was such a go-happy song and if that was only the start of the album, you couldn鈥檛 wait to hear what else was to come. You felt Harry鈥檚 gaze on you and you just had to look at him. He was looking at you with nervous anticipation.
鈥淧ut me outta my misery already.鈥 He said and bit his lip, waiting to hear what you had to say.
鈥淚 think that you鈥檙e so golden.鈥 You smiled and he knew, no matter how cornily, that you had loved the song.
鈥淗ate you.鈥
鈥淣o you don鈥檛.鈥
No, he didn鈥檛.
You looked at him again, knowing what he was thinking and feeling so engaged by his love in that moment. You wanted to learn the meaning behind the song and all the rest you鈥檇 get to hear. You were desperate to understand the way he felt whilst writing the songs and listen to the story that went along with the lyrics. He was a very private man, but for you he was so open. It made you think about the lyric in Golden; 鈥業 know that you鈥檙e scared because i鈥檓 so open鈥 and how it fitted perfectly to your relationship with him, which got you thinking more about the lyrics and what the song meant to him.
鈥淔uck, Harry, that was such a buzz!鈥 Jeff shouted, breaking the moment between you and Harry. You looked away from him, after scrutinising every minute detail on his face, and coughed under your breath ready to listen to the next song.
鈥淵eah, thanks man.鈥 Harry chuckled, only thinking about the last minute he鈥檇 spent looking into your eyes and your beauty and how much you truly meant to him. It was like he needed listening to his new music, which some was written about you, with you to make him understand the importance and significance of you in his life - to him.
He needed you more than a best friend. Want wasn鈥檛 a part of it anymore.
鈥淲atermelon Sugar?鈥 Jeff teased.
鈥淟et鈥檚 have it!鈥 Tyler replied.
鈥淪o excited to hear this trumpets, bro.鈥 Kid spoke quieter now as the song began to play. It was so magical getting to see people so infatuated with music, like it was a passion within their soul. It made you want to learn and understand it all more. You wanted to under Harry鈥檚 world that bit more.
Another happy-feels kind of song.
鈥淭his is cute.鈥 You told him.
鈥淐ute, yet highly erotic.鈥 He corrected you, making you shoot your head to watch him drink a sip of his beer.
鈥淲hat?鈥 You laughed.
鈥淛ust listen, y鈥檖est.鈥
And you did. Fuck, he was right. This song was more than the strawberry picnic it sounded like it should be about. It wasn鈥檛 talking about the strawberries on the summer evening, it was about what pussy tasted like on a summer evening and how it tasted like strawberries. Watermelons too. It was about the euphoric pleasures of giving head and receiving it too. Harry鈥檚 lyrics sounded like he was starved for this kind of pleasure. He鈥檇 never wanted to taste something so badly.
It reminded you of the picnic you鈥檇 had with him. It had been around the end of june, beginning of July, and you were back in Holmes Chapel to see friends and family. He鈥檇 taken a picnic for you both and you鈥檇 gone to sit by a stream to eat it. It had been such a beautiful day. Full of laughter, watermelon and strawberries鈥 My god. He was painting a picture of this exact evening through music. You wiggled in your posture, trying to ignore the feeling of your pussy heating up at the thought of Harry having such erotic thoughts over you. Had he really thought about what you tasted like? And wrote it in a fucking song to tell the whole world?
鈥淚s this鈥︹ You couldn鈥檛 even finish the question. Hell, you didn鈥檛 even know what the question really was.
鈥淵ou鈥檙e pretty darn good for inspiration Y/N.鈥 He whispered in your ear, trying to make sure you didn鈥檛 run your arse over the stiffie he was now sporting in his trousers.
鈥淕uess I can鈥檛 tease the song anymore.鈥 You whispered back, earning a private low chuckle from the boy you were dying to make yours behind you. You were only two songs into listening to his album, yet you felt like the dynamic between the two of you was shifting - had shifted. You felt like he was becoming yours as he opened himself up through the art of his music.
鈥淜eep teasing me though, sunflower. Get my inspiration from you, remember?鈥 And there it was again - the butterflies in your stomach from your best friend. Should you really be thinking these things about your best friend? Then again, he was clearly thinking these things about you.
鈥淭hose trumpets, man!鈥 Kid wolf-whistled and stomped his feet on the ground in love of the song.
鈥淥h shut up about y鈥檅loody trumpets!鈥 Harry laughed, making everyone else laugh.
鈥淪ounded good H.鈥 Mitch added, smiling at his best friend in pride.
鈥淎ll you Mitchy.鈥 Harry said, knowing Mitch had done a great deal of the melody writing on that particular track.
鈥淐an鈥檛 take all the credit.鈥 Mitch winked over in your direction and you thought he鈥檇 been winking at Harry, but when Harrys hand came and rested on your thigh - squeezing it slightly - you second guessed that maybe he had been winking at you. You cleared your throat and waited for the next song.
The next two songs were perfect; Adore You and Lights Up. Both were as good as each, which were equally as good as the two before that. Harry hadn鈥檛 written a bad song - not that you were expecting him to. It was clear that his musical talent had gotten better and he was a lot more open with this album than his previous. He was a lot more accepting in himself with this album and you didn鈥檛 miss the opportunity to tell him how you felt about all of this.
鈥淧roud of you.鈥 You told him, as the album had been paused so Mitch could go grab another crate of beers from his car. They鈥檇 been through enough beers for a family reunion of 108 between the 5 of them, leaving you to quietly sip on your tea. The other guys had gotten up to stretch and go for a wee, but Harry had said he was perfect with sitting rest with you.
鈥淢eans so much t鈥檋ear you say that, sunflower.鈥 He smiled at you, you twisting yourself so you sat perpendicular to him - laying across the width of the chair and his lap. He placed his hands over your legs, cupping your kneecaps for extra warmth.
鈥淢eans so much that you trust me to listen to the album.鈥 You cupped your hand over his and he twisted his fingers so your fingers intertwined with his. He loved the feeling of your soft and warm hands coat his, and he never wanted you to let go. Ever.
鈥淵ou鈥檙e one of few people I trust, Y/N, so thanks for being one of them.鈥 He was using every and any opportunity to say thanks to you and he was completely open about it. You appreciated his thanks, but he didn鈥檛 have to give it to you.
You squeezed his hand, suppressing a smile when he squeezed back. You didn鈥檛 want to look like a love-sick puppy today.
鈥淓njoying it so far Y/N?鈥 Tyler asked you, the boys falling back into the room and back to the sofas. Mitch had a crate of beers and passed Harry another one, earning a thanks from him in response.
鈥淪o much, yeah. You鈥檙e all so talented.鈥 You shared the praise, not being oblivious to the fact it didn鈥檛 take just Harry to create this album.
鈥淓ven me?鈥 Jeff asked, making the guys chuckle.
鈥淵eah, even you Jeff. You鈥檙e the one who has to kick this ones backside half the time!鈥 You laughed, Harry whining in response because he thought he was delightful - well he would!
鈥淧retty sure that鈥檚 your job, sunflower.鈥 Harry added, earning a quick slap to his arm from you.
鈥淜nobhead.鈥 You argued.
鈥淥i big mouth, shut it.鈥 Harry flicked your arm in return and earning an ouch from you to signal that that鈥檇 actually hurt.
鈥淥w, y鈥檖rick.鈥
鈥淢鈥檚orry.鈥 He rubbed over your arm where he had caused you pain, hating to think that a bit of playful banter had actually ended up in him hurting you - that was the last thing he ever wanted to do.
鈥淜now you are, y鈥檏nob.鈥
鈥淪hould write a song about all the lovely and colourful things y鈥檆all me.鈥 Harry joked, wanting nothing more than to put a smile on your golden face again.
鈥淥h yeah? And call it what?鈥 You asked, playing along.
鈥淧robably something really crap like 鈥楾ainted Tongue鈥, or鈥 oh I don鈥檛 know.鈥 Harry rolled his eyes, but you had to gulp down the words that were on the tip of your tainted tongue. You wanted to tease him, but you just couldn鈥檛 because you could tell that he was genuinely considering his words.
Considering your tainted tongue, even.
鈥淪ounds Grammy award-winning.鈥 You told him, squeezing his hand again before returning your attention to the rest of the room. Everyones conversations were coming to a unified end and Jeff asked whether everyone was ready again. It was yes鈥 all around.
鈥淥kay, here鈥檚 Cherry.鈥 Jeff announced, making Harrys grip on your knee tighten for some reason.
The intro started with a woman鈥檚 voice cooing and then straight into some ethereal guitar playing. It was so pretty and you closed your eyes to picture yourself on a bike ride through some flower fields. Harry鈥檚 words were so mellow and soft, it ran chills through your body. You listened to the lyrics carefully and tried to match it up with his real life, piecing together his story.
As the song progresses you could start to understand what, or more who, it was about. It was the lyrics such as 鈥淚 just miss your accent.鈥 and 鈥渄on鈥檛 you call him baby.鈥 that gave it away. That and the expressive voicemail that perched on the end of the song so beautifully. It was about Camille, or more for Camille. It was amazing and you were so proud of Harry for being so open. Camille鈥檚 and Harry鈥檚 relationship had become very toxic, so for Harry to be open about how she still held a place in his heart was something you were very proud of him for. He was being true to himself and was being vulnerable.
鈥淭ake risks, Harry. Be vulnerable, that鈥檚 what people want.鈥 You had told him before he started writing the album and he鈥檇 done just that.
You slowly opened your eyes as the song ended, tears in your eyes for some unbeknownst reason. Harry chuckled at you. 鈥淥h you big softie!鈥 He brought the blanket up to wipe the corners of your eyes. 鈥淵鈥檆rying 鈥榗ause you hate it or because it was just that awesome?鈥 He asked.
鈥淚鈥檓 crying, y鈥檛ool, because you actually listened to me.鈥 Knowing he would know what you meant.
鈥溾楥ourse I did. Take y鈥檃dvice above anyone else鈥檚.鈥 He was clear about that, you thought.
鈥淐amille will love it.鈥 You spoke softly, knowing it was important to him that the person he wrote the song about was okay with a song being written about them.
鈥淭hank you.鈥 He replied, bringing your hand up he could leave a simple kiss to the back of it.
鈥淲hat did you think of the guitar playing H?鈥 Tyler asked, opening another beer with a poof.
鈥淟oved it man. Sounds better toned down a bit.鈥 He answered.
鈥淗appy with the voicemail too?鈥 Tyler asked again, wanting Harry to understand it was no big deal if he wanted it out.
鈥淣o. I want to be take risks and be vulnerable.鈥 Harry admitted proudly, and you shuffled your body around to curl into him and rest your head upon his shoulder. You could smell the Tom Ford perfume he loved so much in its鈥 strength against his neck and you loved it just ad much. It smelt familiar and warm. It smelt like home.
The group of you continued to play the songs, running through Falling, To Be So Lonely and She fairly quickly. Falling had, obviously, brought you to more tears and it had nearly brought Harry to tears too. You knew it was about Camille again and were so proud of him for being so open about his wrong-doings. He鈥檇 cheated and painted himself as the bad guy, but people didn鈥檛 know that she had too. He was too good to write that part in though. His 鈥榳andering hands鈥 portrayed such a powerful image and you got choked up on the power of it all. To Be So Lonely had made you tell him off for calling his mum a bitch, to which he groaned for missing the genuine meaning behind the phrase.
She. Well what a fucking song she was.
You wanted to turn the lights red and slide down a pole and into Harry鈥檚 lap. You had to adjust yourself in Harry鈥檚 lap, feeling uncomfortable with the way you were becoming a bit too wet down there. The sonf brought out you inner-stripper-ego and you wanted to just put on a tight leather dress and work your way across a guys lap, until you had him writhing underneath you - specifically Harry鈥檚 lap.
鈥淲ell that was fucking hot.鈥 You chuckled to the group, knowing that Harry would sense the tension between you two and know your words meant more than just the song. It meant how hot it would be to get fucked to that song. How slow and passionate getting fucked so deep would feel so euphoric whilst 鈥楽he鈥 played in the background. How empowering for a woman it would be to listen to that fire of a song.
鈥淭old you the album was for you.鈥 Harry whispered against your ear and you had to bring your mind to think of old people dying alone, before you jumped Harry right here and right now whilst forcing She to play all over again.
鈥淭hat was the only song that Harry wouldn鈥檛 tell us the meaning behind.鈥 Mitch told you, making you inwardly smug at the thought that you already knew what it was about.
You felt like that song was yours and Harrys dirty little secret and you were about to get high off the thought of that.
鈥淣ext we have Sunflower. Vol, 6.鈥 Jeff announced before pressing play.
That made you sit up.
鈥淒id he say Sunflower?鈥 You asked, smiling so brightly at Harry whom was smiling just as brightly back. He loved you at your happiest. He loved that it was him who had put that happiness there.
鈥淚 don鈥檛 know? Did he?鈥 Harry teased you and you playfully punched his arm, but you looked off to find a nearby wall really interesting as you took in the first bit of the song.
Now this was a vibe.
You felt like you were in some alternate 70s universe, where everything was happy and yellow. The lyrics were so happy and reminded you of yourself. Every time he said the word sunflower, you couldn鈥檛 help but let your heart flutter at the thought of him talking about you. You were his sunflower. 鈥楳y sunflower鈥 he repeated and you wanted to kiss him for it. You couldn鈥檛 sit here and listen to this without dancing, so you didn鈥檛.
You stood up quickly, pushing the blanket off of you, and holding out your hands for Harry. 鈥淐鈥檓on then.鈥 You spoke urgently, not knowing how much was left of the song and wanting to feel the rhythm of this song with him before it ended.
鈥淭hings I bloody do for you, aye?鈥 He laughed, but took your hands anyway to pull himself up. His old knees cracked as he did so and the others laughed at him - calling him 鈥榗ripplez鈥, and yes with a 鈥榸鈥.
You took one of your hands in his, planting the other behind his neck whilst his order went on your waist. Your body was set alight by his touch. You began to dance like you were the only people in the room, getting lost in other鈥檚 presence and happiness. You swayed to the beat and Harry twisted you around a few times when it felt right to. He brought you close back to his chest, holding you close as you swayed together, for the end of the song. When the little boops played you were so confused.
鈥淲hat the fuck is going on?鈥 You laughed as everyone else laughed too. Mitch and Kid followed along with the boops and sang them too, whilst Harry鈥檚 head was tilted back in laughter over seeing your reaction to them. 鈥淪eriously?鈥
鈥淗e was high on shrooms Y/N, so fuck knows.鈥 Tyler laughed and you shook your head at the silly man in front of you.
鈥淲hat the fuck Harry?鈥 You laughed, letting him sit back on the chair first before he assisted you in sitting back on top of him.
鈥淪o鈥︹ He waited for your response, feeling somewhat nervous about this one.
You kissed his cheek, letting your lips linger there for longer than one Mississippi. 鈥淢y sunshine, I loved it.鈥
At the tip of Harry鈥檚 tongue he wanted to say 鈥業 love you鈥 back, but he didn鈥檛 want to ruin the happy high you were on. Little did he know that you thought that the moment would be complete if he spoke the three words that held you back from becoming completely his. You loved that song so much and would be playing every day of your life to remind you how lucky you were to have someone so special in your life.
鈥淭hink that one was a hit, H.鈥 Jeff laughed, others following with their own chuckles.
鈥淭oo right.鈥 You answered for Harry and breathed out a sigh of joy as you relaxed into Harry鈥檚 warmth again.
鈥淩eady for the next one?鈥 Harry asked you, not wanting to cut you shirt from the high you were feeling. You hadn鈥檛 even focused on the lyrics you were so caught up in dancing with your favourite person.
鈥淵eah, let鈥檚 do it.鈥 And so you did.
First, came Canyon Moon. What a beauty she was. It reminded you of sunsets and ice cream and cacti and long-drives. It was a summer song and it was a forever-love song too. It sounded like a reminder that whatever happened, Harry would always be coming home to where he belonged. God, you only hoped that was you - but you鈥檇 be narcissistic to ask that aloud. Secondly, and penultimately to the whole album, came Treat People With Kindness. You thought it was a genius of a song and something the fans would really love. You pitched the idea of maybe even creating a dance routine to it, but Jeff joked how a piece of wood had more hip movement than Harry. Both songs were fabulous and really made the album into something fun and refreshing.
Tyler cleared his throat, making you stop laughing at something Harry had just said and focus your attention on him. When you did you noticed how Mitch and Kid were stood up, looking like they were ready to leave. Jeff was handing Harry the phone and Tyler then stood up to.
鈥淲here鈥 Wait, I thought you said there were 12 songs? We鈥檝e only listened to 11.鈥 You sat up more, wondering why the guys were leaving now.
鈥淭here are 12.鈥 Harry stated, making your eyebrows furrow in even more confusion.
鈥淲e鈥檝e just listened to this last one more times than we have fingers and toes so鈥︹ Kid explained, but not really. Why are they passing the opportunity to listen to this song again? For the final first time too?
鈥淵ou can stay though, for one more time.鈥 You offered, but kept still in Harry鈥檚 lap.
鈥淲e鈥檙e going to get some food and bring it back instead.鈥 Mitch smiled, smirking when his eyes caught Harry like they were having some telepathic conversation. Were you missing something? You felt like there was a big red flag somewhere within all of this and yet you were too stupid blind to see it.
鈥淲ant anything in particular?鈥 Jeff asked, rustling around in his pockets to find his keys.
鈥淚鈥檓 fine with whatever.鈥 Harry answered vaguely, bur you were more definitive.
鈥淯m i鈥檒l have a Subway please. Just build it however I don鈥檛 really care. I鈥檒l eat anything.鈥
鈥淗, Subway?鈥 Mitch checked with Harry, incase he was fancying something else.
鈥淵eah, sounds good to me. I鈥檒l have the same as Y/N.鈥
You didn鈥檛 miss the way Mitch mumbled 鈥榗ourse y鈥檞ill鈥 under his breathe, but they were all out of the door before you could say anything.
鈥淩eady for this last one then, m鈥檚unflower?鈥 Harry asked, returning and devoting his entire attention to you.
鈥淲hy do I get the feeling that you sent them away so we could listen to this one alone together?鈥 You knew Harry, for Gods sake. He couldn鈥檛 be this smooth with someone who was his best fucking friend. This song obviously meant a lot to him and would maybe mean a lot to you too, so that鈥檚 why, you think, he wanted you to be alone for it. You liked that, though. You liked that he鈥檇 written something so personal that he wanted to listen to it with solely you. It made you feel purposeful and special - like you were his.
鈥淛ust shut up.鈥 He rolled his eyes and smiled, clearly catching him in the act of his plan.
鈥淚鈥檓 going to cry, aren鈥檛 I?鈥 You rhetorically asked already knowing the answer.
鈥淢aybe, I don鈥檛 know. No pressure.鈥
鈥淥hh, so you鈥檙e going to cry, that鈥檚 it isn鈥檛?鈥
鈥淵鈥檚uch a wanker, you know that?鈥 He teased you before bringing the phone to hold in his hand and switching it on.
鈥淵ou and your Tainted Tongue.鈥 You teased him back and he looked up at you, but did nothing. Just looked at you and held your gaze. You felt powerless under his gaze because for once, you didn鈥檛 know what he was thinking. You both loved and hated the feeling.
鈥淭he honours are all yours.鈥 Harry passed the phone to you, the giant 鈥榩lay鈥 button waiting to be pressed. You looked at Harry again to see he was looking at you still - oh so this is how it鈥檚 going to be, huh? A good old staring match to see who鈥檚 emotions would crack through first. Game on, Harry.
鈥淥kay. Let鈥檚 play.鈥 Harry didn鈥檛 miss the double meaning behind your words.
If there was ever a turning point in your life it was the next 6:18 minutes of you life.
The song started off really quiet and you thought that it might turn into some bashful tune to exit the album with a bang. You did not expect the mellow guitar to start playing. Looking up from the phone you met Harry鈥檚 gaze and caught him looking back at you, smiling softly because he knew that you knew this song was going to change things. Change you. Change your heart. Change the relationship between you two, forever. If you鈥檇 let it - him.
The lyrics were so delicate and his voice was high pitched. Your eyes started watering when you listened to the lyrics, instantly being able to pinpoint the memory Harry attached to each line. It hurt to think that this was your, plural, song. The meanings behind the lyrics were memories where you and Harry had gotten into rows and fallen out so hard that you thought you might lose each other. Your tears were flowing down your face, Harry鈥檚 eyes matching yours with his own tears.
Harry reached his hand up to your cheek, pausing for a second but not stopping until he鈥檇 touched skin with skin. You flinched a little but your tears also became heavier.
鈥淟ove, don鈥檛.鈥 Harry spoke softly, leaving his hand on your cheek and pulling you forward so you鈥檇 come closer towards him.
鈥淚鈥檓 so-sorry.鈥 You chuckled, but Harry just shook his head.
鈥淪top. Nothing to be sorry for.鈥 Harry鈥檚 tears ran silently whilst yours were a lot more laboured, your chest hiccuping under the touch of how close he was to you.
鈥淣o I do. I hear you Harry. I do.鈥 Referring to all the shit that Harry was referencing in his beautiful ballad.
鈥淵eah and do you hear that i鈥檓 telling you we鈥檒l be alright, hey?鈥 He chuckled, making you sob.
鈥淚鈥 I..鈥 You struggled to get out your words, keeping your face close to his and looking deep into the emotions behind his eyes. There was love and sadness, but there was hope. Hope for you. For you together.
鈥淚t鈥檚 okay. You鈥檙e alright, love. Can tell me anything, I swear.鈥 He made clear, caressing your cheek like it was the easiest job in the universe - yet his trembling thumb made it clear it was hard for him.
You wanted him to know how you feel for him. You wanted him to know that your heart was completely and forever his. He could have it all. You loved him more than anyone else in this fucking universe and he would always be your person. You saw in his eyes that he was waiting for you to tell him all of this. For the longest time all you wanted to yell your strongest feelings for him, but now you were frozen. Paralysed by fear that was becoming so real. He could be yours, but it was so devastating to think that it could all be broken years down the line.
鈥淪top thinking and just talk to me sunflower.鈥 He softly spoke and you dropped your head to his chest, resting your forehead on his heart.
鈥淚 love you!鈥 You shouted and then repeated more quietly, 鈥淚 love you, Harry. I love you.鈥
鈥淚 know, I know.鈥 Harry kissed the back of your head. 鈥淚 love you too.鈥
Your head moved up and you looked at him deep in his eyes. You were both crying and the song was coming to an end now. It felt like such a powerful moment and you never wanted it to end. You felt strong. You felt loved, safe and happy.
鈥淵ou know i鈥檓 going to have to kiss you now?鈥 Harry chuckled, moving his face closer to yours so you could taste his minty breathe on yours.
鈥淎t least wait until the song鈥檚 over.鈥 You smiled at his eagerness, but not meaning a word of what you just spoke. Harry knew that too.
鈥淥h fuck the chuffing song, c鈥檓ere.鈥
His lips sealed upon yours and fit together as perfect as Cinderellas foot and her glass slipper. Your stomach felt like it had been set alight by a match and your heart beat faster than you thought possible. You cared for nothing but his lips and the man behind them. Your heart felt so full and your lungs so empty. Harry had stole the air right from you and given life to himself, and you were so okay with it. Harry, less so.
鈥淵/N baby, y鈥檊otta breathe sunflower.鈥 He mumbled against your lips, but you only whined and pressed yourself more against him. You wrapped your arms around his neck and one of his hands came to steady you at your waist. God, he couldn鈥檛 get enough of you. 鈥淗ey, no, no.鈥 You pouted when he pulled away. 鈥淒on鈥檛 look at me like that.鈥
You took in a deep breathe, not realising how little air you had in your lungs. You were silently thanking him in your head, but would never actually say it to him out loud. He gave you a look though that told you he knew you knew he was right. Fucker.
鈥淒ickhead.鈥
鈥淓nough with the pleasantries, you already have me under your spell woman.鈥 He teased you as if your crude language was getting him off.
鈥淲anker.鈥
鈥淵es, keep them coming.鈥
鈥淎sshole.鈥
鈥淏aby, oh ye鈥斺
鈥淲e brought subs鈥 Okay yeah we鈥檙e going to come back later.鈥 Mitch started and walked through the door at the same time you and Harry were doing whatever the fuck you were doing. You buried your head against Harrys chest to hide both your embarrassment and your tears from earlier. You did really want your sub, but Harry you wanted so much more.
鈥淭hank you, bro!鈥 Harry called back.
鈥淵eah, just keep whatever is happening between you and your girlfriend down. Some of want to eat their salad in peace.鈥 And with the sound of the door shutting you knew you were alone again.
You looked up at Harry to see that he wanted to burst out laughing and as if by rehearsal you both started laughing at the same time. You were in hysterics, not understanding what was even so funny in the first place. All that was understandable was how much you loved this man and craved the thought of officially being his forever.
鈥淪ounded pretty good didn鈥檛 it?鈥 Harry asked, coming to a natural pause in his laughing fest causing you to stop too.
鈥淭he album? Yeah I told you it鈥斺
鈥淣o not the album,鈥 You looked at him in confusion, straightening the sunglasses on the top of his head, 鈥淢itch calling you my girlfriend.鈥 You pursed your lips and kept your eyes down, fiddling with the bandana around his neck now to keep you busy.
鈥淵eah.鈥 You said shyly.
鈥淵eah? Did you like it?鈥 Harry asked, pulling up your chin to meet your beautiful eyes - his favourite feature of yours.
鈥淚 did yeah.鈥
鈥淲anna be my girlfriend?鈥
鈥淎re you asking nicely or?鈥 You messed with him, but also feeling like you deserved a bit more of a proper ask - you鈥檇 not waited all this time for a little half-arsed question, but neither did you want the full shebang.
鈥淵/N L/N? My sunflower? The absolute biggest pain in my arse and most hugest tit on this planet?鈥 You couldn鈥檛 help but belly laugh as he incorporated your longest running joke with each other, 鈥淲ill you be my girlfriend?鈥
鈥淗mm鈥︹ You pretended to think on it and Harry鈥檚 eyes turned to worry for a second.
鈥淧lease?鈥 He softly asked. 鈥淪ay something.鈥
鈥淚 say yes to you and that Tainted Tongue.鈥 You kissed him again and you felt his smile against your lips. He was happy. You were happy. You both knew this was the kind of happiness that would last forever.
You gasped against his lips as he picked you up and held you against his waist, carrying you like a koala bear clutching a tree. You felt his hands grasp your ass and they felt so good situated there.
鈥淟et me show you exactly how tainted this tongue is baby.鈥
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adoremp310 months ago
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Unholy Night
In which Harry gifts Y/N with a heartfelt Christmas present & Y/N returns the favour in the most intimate way she knows how.
Or, the one where it鈥檚 basically 5k of smut.
A/N: Happy holidays! I was tempted to hold off on posting this one for a little longer, but I have no self control and so here we go. Fair warning, I wasn鈥檛 kidding about this being basically 5k of smut. It includes: handjobs, blowjobs, fingering, thigh riding, and, well, the main event of vaginal sex. As always, let me know what you think! I really hope you enjoy this one as much as I enjoyed writing it. It鈥檚 definitely the smut I am most proud of! So, enjoy! x
Moodboard // Inspiration // Wattpad //聽Send me your thoughts
You climb out of the bed and walk over to the window, looking out at the people in the street below and the falling snow around them. Christmas has never been one of your favourite times of the year, but you can't deny how pretty the Hallmark version of this holiday period is. Sometimes you wish it could be just like that, but you try not to think about it too much and just focus on getting through the season as quickly and seamlessly as possible. 鈥淚t's early,鈥 Harry mumbles from the bed, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. 鈥淐ome back to bed, Y/N.鈥
You shake your head. 鈥淚'm fine over here,鈥 you say, not taking your eyes away from the busy streets down below. It may only be very early in the morning, but the world doesn鈥檛 stop for anyone or any time. Sometimes you like to think about where the people have come from and where they will go. 鈥淏ut the bed is lonely without you,鈥 Harry says, patting the bed beside him. 鈥淭he bed or you?鈥 You twist your body around as you ask. Harry's cheeks flush pink. 鈥淢aybe a bit of both.鈥 You know that the second you鈥檙e back in the bed he'll wrap his arm around your body and pull you in close. Anyone else may find that enjoyable鈥攈ell, he has an entire fanbase you know would very much enjoy it鈥攂ut the close proximity and emotional meaning behind it is the biggest catch. There's always something more behind Harry's words and actions, something that tells you your friends with benefits relationship may not be simply that anymore. 鈥淐'mon, Y/N,鈥 he says again, pulling the blanket back to show the space beside him just for you. 鈥淚t's getting cold.鈥 A little chill down your spine is worth not having to be in cuddling proximity you want to tell him, but figure that's probably not a good idea. It's his last day in the country before he flies back to London to spend the holidays with his family, so you decide to give him just this once to feel whatever it is that he feels. You only nod an acknowledgement to Harry before making your way back over to the bed, sliding in beside him as he lets the blanket fall over your body. Harry pauses on the spot, eyes on the body beside him that makes his heart beat rapidly. He brushes his fingers against your cheek, your skin soft and very kissable. 鈥淢orning,鈥 he says, lips tugging into a small smile. 鈥淧lanning on getting anymore sleep?鈥 You shrug. 鈥淚f I feel the need to fall back asleep I will, but I'm not particularly tired right now,鈥 you tell him, awkwardly trying to avoid his eyes on you. 鈥淚f that's the case,鈥 Harry begins, sitting up and pulling the blanket off himself, 鈥渕ight give you your present, then.鈥 鈥淧resent?鈥 you ask, raising a brow. You aren鈥檛 expecting this at all. 鈥淵eah,鈥 Harry says, throwing his legs over the side of the bed and pausing a few seconds first before standing up. 鈥淕ot you a Christmas present, hope that's okay.鈥 You pucker your lips. 鈥淥h, didn't realise we were doing that,鈥 you tell him, watching him move around the room towards his bag. 鈥淚 didn't get you anything.鈥
鈥淪'okay,鈥 he replies, squatting down to dig through his luggage. 鈥淲as a bit last minute myself, but I saw it and couldn't help myself.鈥 A present is yet another emotional bond between you two, or so that's what you are choosing to believe. Harry was always just meant to be someone to keep your bed warm when in the country, but you鈥檙e not quite sure when you started to become something more鈥攆riendly or otherwise. Maybe you needs to have a word with Harry about the nature of your relationship, reminding him that all you want is sex, but you decide to hold off until after the holidays. It will be awfully rude to bring Harry down during Christmas. 鈥淎h, here we go,鈥 Harry says, standing back up with a rectangular present in his hand. He walks back over to the bed, sits down beside you, and smiles as he holds it out. 鈥淢erry鈥arly Christmas.鈥 You gulp at first, unsure how to approach the situation. Are you supposed to thank him? Give him a kiss? This is all too much and a little overwhelming for you. 鈥淯h, thanks,鈥 is all you say as you take the present from Harry, staring down at the perfectly wrapped gift in your hand.聽
It's wrapped in red wrapping paper with the words 'Merry Christmas' written in gold repeatedly across it, topped with a gold bow sitting in the corner. You only appreciate it for a few more seconds before you begin tearing at the paper, slowly revealing piece by piece of what your new present may be. Harry's eyes shine bright as he watches you, his lips tugging into a bigger smile as he gets antsy out of anticipation鈥攈e knows you鈥檙e going to love it. You unwrap the final piece, already having noted it's a book of some sort, and turns it over to see the front cover. Your eyes widen in surprise, much like your lips do as they part. 鈥淗arry, how did you鈥︹ you try to ask, but stop yourself in disbelief as your fingers traipse over the front cover of a first edition copy of Alice in Wonderland. 鈥淟ate one night we were talking, and you said it was your favourite book but were awfully upset when the copy your grandmother used to read to you every night until it got thrown out,鈥 he explains, biting down on his lip as he eagerly waits for your reaction. All he wants is to make you happy. You really don't know how to react, though. You vaguely remember telling Harry the story, though you had assumed it was long forgotten with the rest of the nonsense you鈥檝e spluttered out late at night or while drunk. It only makes you wonder what else he remembers and what he plans on doing with that information.聽
鈥淭his is... Harry, I鈥斺 You don't know what to say; you鈥檙e in shock. After the copy your grandmother gifted you was thrown out after an unfortunate incident, you remember crying and crying because it was one of the very few things you had left from her after she passed. 鈥淒o you like it?鈥 Harry asks, unable to wipe the grin spreading across his lips. 鈥淵es, oh my god, thank you so much!鈥 You hug the book close to your chest, but it's your next reaction that takes you both by surprise. You launch yourself towards Harry, wrapping your arms around him in a hug, and press your lips up against his. 鈥淭hank you, thank you, thank you,鈥 you keep mumbling between kisses. Harry's hands fall to your hips, grazing gently against your skin as your arms rest atop his shoulders and your fingers play with his hair. 鈥淚s this how we say thanks now?鈥 he asks teasingly, his fingers brushing against your skin just under your shirt. 鈥淚 mean, yeah, but I also kinda feel bad I didn't get you anything, so...I wanna make you feel good,鈥 you tell him, smirking as you roll your hips into his. 鈥淵eah?鈥 Harry asks, though his voice gets caught in his throat at first. You nod. 鈥淵eah.鈥 鈥淎nd how do you plan on doing that?鈥 Harry's excitement of what's possibly about to happen is obvious with the corners of his lips tugging into something of a smile. 鈥淲ell, first of all, I've got to get you nice and hard,鈥 you say. Harry laughs. 鈥淚 approve already.鈥 His fingers brush against your bare skin still, though they're much lower this time. You are certain he's about to go for your ass, but you have other ideas. 鈥淲hat's the plan of action, then?鈥 鈥淭his.鈥 You cross your arms at the hem of your shirt, then lift it up and over your head, revealing your bare chest. Harry bites down on his lip at the sight in front of him, but you鈥檙e not quite done yet. 鈥淵ou're gonna have to do better than that,鈥 Harry teases, though he's visibly struggling to keep his eyes away from your naked breasts. You roll your eyes. 鈥淚've not finished yet,鈥 you tell him, taking his hands in yours and taking him by surprise. You know this has confused him and can't help the small smirk, but it's no match for the tugging on your lips seconds later as you place his hands on your breasts instead. You massage yourself over Harry's hands until you know he's doing it himself and pulls your hands away. 鈥淲hat about that?鈥 鈥淐ould be better,鈥 Harry replies, though he makes no effort to remove his hands any time soon. He's already flicking and twisting your left nipple, letting it harden under his touch. As he glances up at your face, though, his eyes drop to your lips for a second, and you know exactly what he's going to do next. 鈥淎re you sure about that?鈥 you ask, giving your hips a little wiggle and instantly feeling movement underneath you. 鈥淵ou're such a fucking tease,鈥 Harry manages to get out seconds before he crashes his lips against yours, unable to stop his temptation any further. You giggle against his lips, but melt into the kiss soon after, continuing to grind your hips into Harry's. 鈥淔eeling nice and hard yet?鈥 you ask the second Harry's lips drop to your jaw. Harry pushes his hips up, and you feel his hardening cock against you. 鈥淵ou tell me, babe.鈥 鈥淥nly one way to find out,鈥 you reply, your lips tugging into a smirk as you dip your hand between the two of you. The second you begin to palm him through his pants, Harry's breath hitches. 鈥淪eems all good from here,鈥 you add, giving him a quick squeeze. 鈥淵eah?鈥 he asks, placing a sloppy kiss against your lips. You nod. 鈥淵eah, but what happens if I do this?鈥 you ask. Before Harry can ask what, you dip your hand into his pants and wrap your hand around him. 鈥淔uck,鈥 Harry curses, his hot breath hitting your skin in a way that sends goosebumps down your arms. 鈥淵ou know I'm always super sensitive in the morning.鈥 鈥淚 haven't forgotten,鈥 you reply, swiping your thumb across his slit before you instruct him to lift his hips so you can pump him properly. Harry does as he's asked within two seconds flat, letting you take control; he's the one that usually does, but when the roles are reversed, Harry can barely control himself. He's not sure when the hand he has left on your breast stopped moving, just sitting there and cupping you without doing much else, but he couldn't care less in that moment. His cock springs up against his stomach the second his pants are off, and it takes you all of two seconds to take him in your hand again. 鈥淥h, shit,鈥 he curses as you swipe your thumb across his slit again, coating his tip with his already leaking pre-come. You grin to yourself as you shuffle back on his lap slightly, getting a better angle to fasten the pace as you pump him up and down that little bit harder. Harry presses his lips against yours and sloppily kisses you, but pulls back not long after as his forehead falls against yours and he squeezes his eyes shut; the immense amount of pleasure begins to overtake him, already feeling as though he's not going to last for as long as he wants or for as long as you truly deserve. Harry's heavy breaths are a sure sign of his enjoyment, but you鈥檙e not quite done with thanking him just yet. You let go of his hard length and throw your arms back around his neck, resulting in Harry's brows to furrow at the loss of your hand. 鈥淲hat happened to my thank you?鈥 he asks, his lips swollen and stained pink, while his cheeks flush red. 鈥淐alm down, I've saved the best for last,鈥 you tell him, rolling your eyes. 鈥淭he best?鈥 Harry asks. 鈥淲hat's the b鈥斺 He's cut off by your next move, which is sticking your finger in your mouth and sucking on it. Harry gulps. 鈥淥h, fuck.鈥 You use the same finger seconds later to lift his chin as you pull him in for a quick kiss, nibbling on his bottom lip and leaving him wanting more. 鈥淭alk to me, Harry. Tell me what you want,鈥 you instruct, rolling your hips into his. Your underwear is the only thing keeping you apart. 鈥淚 want you,鈥 he moans, his hands wrapping around you and beginning to roam across your body again. Every inch of your body is covered, from your hair down to your thighs; your shoulders, your bare back, your hips, your ass. 鈥淵eah?鈥 you ask, latching your lips to his jaw. 鈥淭ell me more. What do you want, Harry?鈥 鈥淵ou,鈥 he says, gripping onto your ass in a way that tells you you鈥檒l be bruised tomorrow. 鈥淚 want you, Y/N. I want you so fucking bad.鈥 You build more friction between you as you grind your hips together again, making use of still being on his lap. 鈥淲hat part of me do you want?鈥 you ask, pressing your lips a little lower on his jaw this time before pulling back. 鈥淢y fingers?鈥 you question before he can reply, brushing your fingertips across Harry's. 鈥淢aybe my tits.鈥 You sits his hand on your chest again, letting his fingertips brush lightly against your hard nipple. 鈥淥r what about my mouth?鈥 You stick the tips of Harry's fingers in your mouth, nibbling on them playfully. 鈥淧lease, Y/N,鈥 is all Harry manages to get out as his eyes are hard on your mouth, watching the way your lips move against his fingers and your tongue swirls around them. You have him right where you want him, but you still want more. You want him to beg for it. 鈥淧lease what, Harry?鈥 鈥淵our mouth, I want it,鈥 he says. 鈥淲here?鈥 鈥淢y cock,鈥 he exasperates as your lips meet his jaw again, latching on and suckling lightly as a mild taste of what's to come. 鈥淲ant your mouth on my cock.鈥 You grin, happy you鈥檝e finally gotten what you want. 鈥淵our wish is my command,鈥 you say, pressing your lips against his in a long and languid, and incredibly agonising, kiss. Harry's arms are back around your body, pulling you in impossibly close and feeling every inch of your body pressed up against his. And then, when he's nearly forgotten what he's just begged you for, you kiss the side of his mouth again, then his jaw and his neck, hands pressed to his chest as you gradually make your way down his body. His muscles tense under your touch, but it's no match for his still hardening nature out of just pure excitement from what's about to happen. Your lips have always seemed soft against his lips, whether in a quick kiss or a nibble that drives him absolutely crazy, but in this moment, while your lips are grazing against his collarbone, Harry is certain your lips have never felt better. Your kisses continue to move down his body, down his chest and sternum, reaching his abdomen that clenches tight before you鈥檝e even latched your lips to his skin. Seconds later, you鈥檙e a little bit lower on his V-line, ready to follow the path to your final destination. Your name has left his lips before you鈥檙e even close, but that may have something to do with the agonising wait and the way your fingers brush against his length in a total surprise. 鈥淔uck, Y/N,鈥 he says lowly. 鈥淢'gonna come before you're sucking me off at this rate.鈥 A light chuckle is the only reply Harry gets from you, but you both know he's for sure not coming unless he's inside you in one way or another. But you鈥檝e not got much time to think about it because you have finally reached where Harry so badly wants you, lips pressing light kisses right above his cock to tease him even more. Your lips twist into something devilish as you pull back, watching Harry writhe under your touch in front of you. Your lips are nearing his tip, your warm breath hitting it in a way that's sending Harry crazy. But to be fair, the thought of you going down on him is already making his mind run wild. You run your finger down his length first, his eyes unable to leave your every move, until you finally do what he's been waiting for. Harry's hand is in your hair the second after you鈥檝e licked the first stripe, pre-come dripping from your lips when you sit back up. He could almost come right there and then. 鈥淥h, Y/N,鈥 he breathes out when you dip your head again, your lips latching to the tip of his cock and swirling your tongue around. Your hand is around the base, squeezing tight as you lower yourself a bit further than the tip. Gradually, you continue to roll your tongue against his skin, sliding bit by bit into your mouth. It's not long until he practically hits the back of your throat, his fingers running through your hair, and he's certain life can't get any better. 鈥淪hit, just like that,鈥 he says. 鈥淒on't stop, baby. Don't stop.鈥 Bobbing up and down, you don't plan on stopping any time soon. Hell, you even plan on going until he finishes. You glance up at him through your lashes, his eyes meeting yours instantly, noting how his bottom lip is nearly red raw from biting down on it. Harry tries to smile his appreciation at you, but instead squeezes his eyes shut and throws his head back, hitting his head on the wall, as you moan around him and send nearly insufferable vibrations up his cock. And just when he thinks it can't get any better, you begin to roll your hips against his thigh, finding your own enjoyment as pleasure begins to overtake you as well. 鈥淔uck,鈥 Harry curses, opening his eyes and witnessing the better than porn visual in front of him. 鈥淟ike sucking my cock, don't you, baby?鈥 You nod and mumble your answer as best you can, but the vibrations ripple through Harry again, sending another wave of pleasure that has him scrunching the bed sheets with his free hand. Your hips continue to grind against his thigh at a slow pace, matching the same rhythm with your mouth. Glancing up at him quickly, you swear Harry almost looks relieved, his release probably nearing quicker than he wants, but you wrap your fingers around the base and pump him while you give your mouth a quick rest. Your tongue, on the other hand, continues to swirl around his tip to keep him well and truly interested. Your name sounds like magic coming from his lips, like it's made to be said during this moment and nothing more. Harry grips at the back of your head still, watching the sight in front of him with great detail, wanting to remember this exact moment forever. Just as he spots you open your mouth a little wider, sliding his length in once again, he knows he isn't going to last long. Not with this amount of build up and not at this time of the morning. And while that may be the case, something doesn't quite feel right鈥攜ou may be about to suck an orgasm out of him, but that's not how he wants it to happen.聽
鈥淪top, stop, stop,鈥 Harry says suddenly, trying to sit up a bit as he tugs on your hair.
You pull back from him, furrowing your brows. 鈥淲hat鈥檚 going on?鈥 you ask, confused. 鈥淒id you want to come on my tits instead?鈥
鈥淣o, I鈥攚ait, you鈥檇 be into that?鈥 Harry blinks as he considers it for a split second, then shakes his head as he guides you up from his lap, running his fingers through your hair and down your cheek. 鈥淣o, baby. I鈥檓鈥攆uck, you鈥檙e so good, your mouth is literal magic, but I want to be inside you.鈥 Harry bites down on his lip, thinking about how much he wants this. 鈥淏aby, please let me come inside you.鈥
鈥淥h!鈥 You grin, pouncing forward instantly to take him on a whole new adventure.
Harry lets you plant kisses on his jaw again for a few seconds, forgetting about everything and just enjoying the moment as you still grind on his thigh, until he remembers that it鈥檚 time for him to take charge again. 鈥淵/N, no, I鈥攊t鈥檚 my turn,鈥 he says, his hands smoothing over your bare back.
鈥淵our turn?鈥 you ask, creasing your brows.
鈥淵eah,鈥 Harry says with a nod. 鈥淢y turn.鈥 Before you can even say anything else, Harry flips you over so he鈥檚 the one on top now, biting down on his lip as his eyes cloud over.
You blink a few times. 鈥淏ut I wanted to make you feel good,鈥 you say, pouting your bottom lip.
鈥淎nd you鈥檝e done that brilliantly already, but if you really want to thank me, you鈥檒l let me do this,鈥 he replies, pressing his lips to yours in a hungry kiss.聽
You want to tell him that you want to be on top, you want to be in charge, but Harry鈥檚 fingers are already traipsing over your body and flicking your nipple before you even get a chance鈥攁ll thoughts on possibly riding Harry through his orgasm are saved for another day. Between grinding yourself against Harry and the general feeling you get yourself when pleasuring Harry, it鈥檚 safe to say there鈥檚 a fiery ball already building in the pit of your stomach as Harry continues to kiss you, but it鈥檚 when he dips his fingers into your underwear and circles your clit that you know you鈥檙e done for. You鈥檝e forgotten how to kiss as your head is thrown back against the pillow, moans escaping your lips as the fire builds inside you, while Harry鈥檚 lips are latched to your jaw.聽
Harry dips his finger inside you next, moving on from your clit. 鈥淢y my, someone鈥檚 been really enjoying themselves,鈥 he teases, his finger moving easily as it bends and curves to find the spot you so desperately need.聽
鈥淚鈥檓 gonna鈥攆uck鈥擨鈥檓 gonna get you back for this,鈥 you say, your hands falling to the sheet either side of you as you scrunch it between your fingers. Your back arches and your hips shift slightly, guiding his fingers, and you know for sure your end is near.
鈥淐ome for me, Y/N,鈥 Harry muses, his hot breath hitting your neck in a way that would drive you crazy had you not already been mostly there already.聽
Your chest is flushed red and sweat sculpts your hair, making a right mess of it against the pillow, but you don't care鈥攁ll you can think about is the pure ecstasy running through your veins, and then it finally hits you. Expletives fall from your lips as your orgasm pulses through you, hips rising from the bed and sheets still scrunched in your hand, and Harry鈥檚 finger continues to pump inside you as you ride out one of the best adrenaline pumping orgasms you鈥檝e had in awhile. Maybe all the build up had something to do with, or maybe Harry just really fucking knows what he鈥檚 doing.
鈥淛esus, fuck me,鈥 you breathe out as it鈥檚 over, your arm falling across your eyes as you take a moment to breathe. You feel like you鈥檝e just run a marathon.
Harry chuckles. 鈥淒on鈥檛 know about Jesus, but I sure am about to,鈥 he says, lifting you up as he pulls down your underwear and throws them off the bed. Harry presses a quick kiss to your lips, when you slide the arm from your face just enough to peek at him. 鈥淩eady for round two?鈥
鈥淚 was barely ready for round one.鈥 Really, you weren't; it happened so fast now all you want to do is take a few minutes to both recover and prepare for what鈥檚 coming next, but Harry鈥檚 also been edged so much that you know all he wants is his final release. 鈥淥kay, but be gentle,鈥 you add.
鈥淕entle?鈥 Harry laughs like it鈥檚 the funniest thing in the world. 鈥淲hen have you ever wanted gentle?鈥
You think about it for a second, then press your lips together. 鈥淥kay, never mind,鈥 you reply, realising your mistake.聽
Harry has one hand beside you to hold himself up, while the other is rubbing up and down your side, before you even have a few seconds to blink or think about what鈥檚 happening next. 鈥淪till taking birth control?鈥 he asks, lips pressing lightly against the corner of your mouth.
鈥淵eah,鈥 you say, capturing his lips against yours. Your friends have tried to tell you in the past that birth control alone isn鈥檛 the greatest contraceptive, but in the moment, you don't care鈥攁nd, quite frankly, neither does Harry. All he wants is to be inside you, your walls clenching against him in a way that drives him to the edge鈥攁ll he wants is to feel you in a way he鈥檚 never felt closer.聽
You nibble Harry鈥檚 bottom lip playfully, your hands wrapping around his neck as you grind your completely naked bodies against one another, but Harry can鈥檛 take it anymore. He sits back a bit, wraps his hand around his cock as he pumps himself a few times to make sure he鈥檚 ready鈥攜ou roll your eyes because of course he鈥檚 ready, he鈥檚 leaking pre-come again鈥攁nd then lowers himself a bit as he lines himself up with your entrance.聽
鈥淩eady?鈥 he asks as he looks up at you, wanting to double check you want it.
Of course you want it, but you still appreciate the gesture. 鈥淢hmm,鈥 you hum.聽
Carefully, Harry steadies himself over you again as he slides himself into you, filling you in a way you鈥檝e felt countless times but will never get tired of. He鈥檚 slow at first, finding his momentum and the right angle, but as you moan his name in pure pleasure he knows he鈥檚 on the right track. You reach up to wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him in closer so your mouth is on his once again, deepening the kiss as you continue to pull the two of you impossibly close. You sigh against his lips, while Harry鈥檚 lips tug into a smile鈥攈e can鈥檛 help being happy at knowing just what he鈥檚 doing to you. Maybe that鈥檚 why you like taking control as well.聽
鈥淕ood?鈥 he asks against your lips as you pull back, his forehead resting on yours as he still rolls his hips into yours.聽
You nod. 鈥淵eah, keep going,鈥 you urges, breathing hard.
Harry picks up the rhythm a bit. 鈥淗ow鈥檚 that? Better?
鈥淚鈥檇 be better if you stopped asking all these questions and just got on with it,鈥 you tell him honestly, gripping hard onto his back as he finds a particular spot that overwhelms you to the point you can feel the fiery ball beginning to build inside you again.聽
Harry grins. 鈥淵our wish is my command,鈥 he says, sliding out slightly before thrusting back into you.聽
鈥淪hit,鈥 you curse, your nails now digging into his skin. 鈥淒o that again.鈥
Like you requested, Harry thrusts into you again and again and again. 鈥淚鈥檓 not gonna last much longer,鈥 he says after a while, his breaths shallow and forehead sticky with sweat.聽
You nod, knowing full well that he wouldn鈥檛. 鈥淚鈥檓 surprised you鈥檝e even made it this鈥斺 you try to tell him you鈥檙e surprised he鈥檚 made it this far, but you鈥檝e stopped the second Harry鈥檚 thumb is brushing against your clit.聽
鈥淵ou were saying?鈥 Harry asks, his lips tugging into a smirk that you would practically smack off his face had you not been on the verge of a second orgasm.聽
鈥淪hut up,鈥 you settle with.
Harry鈥檚 free hand that鈥檚 everywhere on your body one second is on your thigh the next, sliding underneath as he hoists your leg around his hips to find a new angle as he deepens himself inside you. And that鈥檚 when he hits the right spot, his name spilling from your lips as your back arches again, your pleasure overwhelming you. Harry picks up the pace with both his thrusts and his thumb circling your clit, and that鈥檚 what finally does it as your second orgasm hits you. Your nails dig further into Harry鈥檚 skin as everything goes blurry, vision impaired momentarily and not a care in the world for anything other than Harry helping you through it.聽
You want to take a few moments once you鈥檙e done to let it consume you, to save this memory for whenever you鈥檙e alone, but you know Harry is on the verge of finishing himself. His thrusts are becoming messier and his lips crash against yours sloppily, you clenching against him during your orgasm enough to send him over the edge.聽
鈥淚鈥檓 gonna鈥擸/N, I鈥檓鈥攆uck,鈥 he tries to say, but he鈥檚 coming before another word can be uttered. He breathes out against your lips at first, your name sounding breathless in that moment, but he drops his forehead to your collarbone seconds later as his hips stop jerking and everything stills.聽
It鈥檚 a few seconds of sweat and laboured breathing before either of you do anything, but Harry breaks your mildly stilled silence by capturing your bottom lip in his once more. 鈥淏est Christmas present ever,鈥 he says, his lips tugging into the warmest smile. 鈥淎ctually, might even be the best present of all time.鈥
鈥淒on鈥檛 go buying me random presents now just so you can get that again,鈥 you tell him, narrowing your eyes.
Harry chuckles as he rolls to his side, ignoring the fact that there鈥檚 quite the mess between you both. 鈥淎nd where鈥檚 the fun in that?鈥
In reality, there鈥檚 no way you could ever stop Harry from doing what he wants鈥攊f he wants to shower you with gifts, he鈥檚 going to do it and you鈥檙e going to get something new and shiny to add to your collection of other new and shiny things. But then again, if it does end in more orgasms鈥 Who's to deny Harry what he wants?
After a few beats of silence, Harry鈥檚 lips tug into something playful as he glances at you. 鈥淪o, Y/N, I鈥檝e heard Tiffany鈥檚 is around the corner鈥︹ 鈥淚 think I鈥檇 much rather breakfast,鈥 you say, placing your hand on your stomach as it chooses that exact moment to rumble.
鈥淏reakfast, huh?鈥 Harry asks, pausing as he thinks for a second. 鈥淚f I get you some waffles, maybe you can suck me off before I leave.鈥
You sigh very dramatically as soon as Harry says that, throwing your arms across your face as you wonder just what the hell you鈥檝e gotten yourself into.
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taglist: @harryswinterberries @niallgolden @callmebeautiful鈥 @tobefalling鈥 @kakaym鈥嬄
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lovecrumbssa year ago
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鈥楩ine Line鈥 inspired tattoo ideas聽
(click images for better quality)
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twopoppies5 months ago
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Hi please I'm new here so I'm begging you not to be mad at me for my question. I'm genuinely just trying to form an opinion. I just want to know how Harry's not benefiting from his closet. Louis is definitely being punished and there's nothing nice about his Mr I am in fact straight with a child image but w Harry he gets to play both sides and wear a dress and work in Hollywood. It also confuses me how Harry's songs seem to be him begging not to be left and I'm like??Something's not adding up
I鈥檓 not mad at you, but I鈥檓 not a research robot who can just spit out answers the second someone wants them. I just don鈥檛 have the time or energy to continually prove things to people. I鈥檓 sorry that that makes it harder for some new fans, but I鈥檓 exhausted. This line of questioning has been going in for well over a year and I just can鈥檛 do it every time a new fan discovers this band or has a question. .聽
All I can say is that someone accusing him of聽鈥渂enefitting鈥 from being closeted, doesn鈥檛 understand what it鈥檚 like to be closeted. No one would choose to lie about such an enormous part of who they are unless they felt they had to. Feel free to search my blog for tags like
Harry鈥檚 image
PR and Marketing
Closeting
Bearding
Music Industry
Hollywood Homophobia
Record Contracts
The only song I can think of on Fine Line that even comes close to Harry 鈥渂egging not to be left鈥 is Falling. I answered someone about Falling recently, here (including links to some other people鈥檚 analyses).
When he spoke with Zane Lowe, he said about Falling: 鈥淚 kind of started to feel like threads of you know, where I could see myself becoming someone that I didn鈥檛 want to be.鈥 Harry has spoken about how the sequencing of his songs is so important and how much time it took to get right, He also has said that this song, in particular, is 鈥渧ery centered in what the record is鈥 centered in a time that a lot of the record was kind of built around鈥. So I think it鈥檚 important that Falling is in the middle of the album, smack between the first group of songs that are all about the euphoria of first falling in love, and the second group of songs that seem to be about rediscovering and deepening love, and learning to understand yourself on a deeper level.聽
Just because someone has a period of deep unhappiness, feeling abandoned, feeling like all is lost, doesn鈥檛 mean it鈥檚 the overall theme of their life (or album). And there鈥檚 a huge assumption (based on the way the narrative of this album was pushed) that what Harry is talking about in a song like this is the end of a romantic relationship. But I honestly believe so much of Fine Line (the album) is actually about Harry鈥檚 relationship with himself and with gender. And I think Falling can be looked at through that lens, as well. Especially if we think about what he said about Falling being centered in a time that much of the record was built around. Being afraid of losing themselves and/or their parter because of gender confusion is not exactly uncommon (this analysis discusses the concept from Louis鈥 POV)
I鈥檓 not saying there aren鈥檛 songs about romantic struggles, but I think people are trying too hard to look at their albums and say aha! They鈥檙e together. Or aha! They broke up. And I just think it鈥檚 a lot more complex.聽
For many of us, Harry and Louis鈥 relationship is the primary reason we鈥檙e here. But when you鈥檙e settled in a long term relationship, it鈥檚 unlikely that everything you want to express as an artist is about your love life. Harry grappling with his gender identity seems to have been of much greater importance to him while making FL. Here鈥檚 a tag for posts on Harry鈥檚 Gender.
As for the rest of the album, please just search my song analysis tag. There鈥檚 lots there.聽
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sunflowervolvimp3a year ago
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changes (best friend!harry)
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Warnings: language, nsfw content, drugs (marijuana) and alcohol
Pairing: best friend!Harry x reader
Word Count: 17k (holy shit)
A/N: So this started as two requests I had in my inbox that I got way too into and then it became this. this may be the longest stand-alone fic I鈥檝e ever written, and it, like watermelon sugar, is dedicated to touching!!!! I spent so long on this so as always. feedback is appreciated. and if you like it, please reblog it!!! reblogging is the best way to show fic writers your appreciation <3
{masterlist}
Unless she鈥檚 reminded otherwise, Y/N always thinks of herself as a teenager.
This, of course, isn鈥檛 true. She turned twenty-six a month ago, works as a media producer for an online clothing company, and lives alone in a one bedroom apartment in London. 聽However, unless she physically has something in front of her to remind her of her real age and the passing of time, Y/N disregards this information.
Usually, the reminder is a bill in the mail, or a phone call to remind her that she needs to book an appointment with her doctor. 聽Usually, the reminder is an ache in her back, her glasses prescription getting worse, or realizing that she has no idea what her teenage cousins are talking about when she sees them at Christmas. 聽Usually, the reminder is enough to give her pause, but not enough to throw her for a loop.
This time, however, the reminder is her childhood best friend naked in her bathroom.
Y/N and Harry had been friends since they were in primary school, after Y/N had moved to London with her mother. 聽Their new house just happened to be next to Harry鈥檚, and Anne and Y/N鈥檚 mother had quickly hit it off. 聽Anne had been quick to volunteer her son to be Y/N鈥檚 tour guide at school, and despite not being enthusiastic about each other in the beginning, the two began to grow closer by the end of Y/N鈥檚 first week there. 聽Within a month, the two were inseparable, and that didn鈥檛 change as they entered their teen years, started secondary school, and Harry left London to become a member of the most famous boyband in the world. 聽Just typical teen things.
However, despite their distance, Y/N and Harry had remained as close as ever. 聽They constantly texted, called, and video chatted with each other, and Y/N even joined Harry on tour a few times (with permission from her mother). 聽Although both of them had been worried when Harry left, their worries and fears never came to fruition. 聽Just as they balanced each other in personality, they balanced each other in lifestyle鈥攚hen Y/N needed a break from high school and university, Harry brought her to shows, award ceremonies, and parties, and when Harry felt like his fame was overwhelming, Y/N sent him reminders of home, hosted countless movie nights for him, and told him story after story of university life.
They were so perfectly matched that, when they were younger, many people鈥攁nd tabloids鈥攕uspected that they were dating. 聽Even their mothers had asked them, on occasion, if one of them had any interest in the other. 聽However, their answers were always the same. 聽Y/N and Harry were best friends, and nothing more. 聽Sure, they were touchy, affectionate, called each other pet names, and had even kissed on a few occasions during truth or dare at parties, but none of it actually meant anything. 聽Y/N had watched Harry grow from a cute kid to an awkward teen to a self-assured man, and her feelings for him had never changed, and an attraction to him had never developed.
Until now.
Harry鈥檚 facing away from her, his towel in his hand as he dries his chest. 聽His entire body glistens with water from the shower. 聽Y/N can鈥檛 stop herself from letting her eyes canvas over every inch of his smooth arms, toned back, down lower to his鈥
Her breath catches in her throat. 聽Yeah. His ass is toned, too, she thinks to herself, and only has another moment to think that she shouldn鈥檛 be looking before Harry glances over his shoulder, alarmed by the small sound she had made.
鈥淵/N鈥斺 His eyes widen a bit, but he doesn鈥檛 make an effort to cover himself with his towel very quickly.
Her eyes automatically follow his movement for a moment before she realizes what she鈥檚 about to see. 鈥淪orry!鈥 Y/N turns around quickly, her face heated. 鈥淪orry, I鈥攖he door was unlocked, I didn鈥檛 realize you were鈥斺
鈥淚t鈥檚 fine.鈥 Harry fixes his towel around his waist. 鈥淒on鈥檛 worry about鈥斺
Y/N leaves the bathroom before he can finish his sentence, walking to her bedroom quickly and shutting the door tightly behind her.
Harry, it seems, is today鈥檚 reminder that she鈥檚 no longer a teenager, because his body is that of a man.
It鈥檚 not like you haven鈥檛 seen him shirtless before, she tells herself, walking to her dresser to pick out a change of clothes. 聽Y/N鈥檚 seen him half naked countless times. 聽The whole world has seen Harry half naked countless times. 聽But she鈥檚 never seen him like that.
When did Harry grow up? Somehow, between movie nights and pool parties and going away to school, Y/N had failed to notice that her childhood best friend is no longer a child. 聽Harry had grown into his features, developed muscles in his arms and chest, tattooed designs all over his skin, and had become an incredibly attractive adult without her noticing.
Y/N pulls her pajamas off quickly, stopping to glance at herself in her full length mirror. 聽She, like Harry, is also no longer a child. She had grown into her features like he had, had gotten a few tattoos, made her share of mistakes, and became an adult the same way he did. 聽Neither her nor Harry鈥檚 growth had happened overnight.
As she runs her hand between her chest, down her stomach, brushing her hip, Y/N can鈥檛 help but wonder: has Harry noticed that they鈥檝e grown up? 聽Does he still look at her and see the shy little girl, the developing teenager, or does he look at her and see a grown woman? 聽Is she the only one who鈥檚 been late to the party?
Y/N feels a flutter in the pit of her stomach. 聽Is it possible that, at some point, Harry looked at her and had the same realization that she had a moment ago? 聽That not only had she grown into a woman, but that she had grown into an attractive woman?
The sound of the bathroom door opening distracts Y/N from her thoughts, and she hurries to finish getting dressed. 聽Her shirt, she finds when she pulls it on, smells a bit like Harry鈥檚 cologne, as she had set it on the side of the bed that he slept on the night before. 聽She likes it more than she should.
After she鈥檚 dressed, she debates just staying in her bedroom to avoid facing Harry again for a bit longer. However, she can hear him working her coffee maker in the kitchen, and knows she can鈥檛 hide in her bedroom like a child. 聽She isn鈥檛 a child.
Neither is he, she thinks to herself as she touches her bedroom doorknob. Which is the problem.
Still, Y/N shakes herself from her thoughts and walks out to her kitchen.
Harry, now dressed in wide leg jeans and a plain white t-shirt, is leaning against her kitchen counter, a cup of coffee in his hand. 聽His hair is still wet from his shower, but other than that, he looks normal. Completely normal.
And yet, Y/N can鈥檛 manage to meet his eyes.
鈥淕ood morning.鈥 Harry鈥檚 voice is low, a bit of amusement in it as he notices her demeanor. 鈥淗ow did you sleep?鈥
鈥淔ine.鈥 Y/N hates how tight her voice is as she grabs a mug from the kitchen cabinet. 鈥淚 slept fine. Did you?鈥
Harry nods, his eyes still tracing her every move as her own eyes avoid him. 鈥淚 did. 聽Woke up a bit early, though. 聽Thought I鈥檇 shower before brunch.鈥
Right. 聽Brunch. 聽They鈥檙e having brunch that day with a few old friends, at a place just down the street from Y/N鈥檚 apartment, which is why Harry had stayed over the night before. 聽Y/N was going to have to act normal around their other friends, which means she can鈥檛 avoid looking at him for much longer.
鈥淚鈥檓 sorry.鈥 She says as she pours a cup of coffee. 鈥淚 am, I鈥擨 should鈥檝e knocked. 聽I forgot you slept over, and鈥斺
鈥淚t鈥檚 fine, Y/N. 聽I should鈥檝e locked the door.鈥 Harry says easily, the corner of his lips tugging up. 鈥淚t鈥檚 not a big deal. 聽Besides, it鈥檚 not like you haven鈥檛 seen me naked before.鈥
At that comment, Y/N pauses. 鈥淓xcept鈥 haven鈥檛 seen you naked before?鈥
Harry shakes his head adamantly. 鈥淣o. 聽You have. There鈥檚 no way we鈥檝e been friends for almost twenty years, and you haven鈥檛.鈥
鈥淗arry, believe me. I鈥檝e seen you in a lot of weird positions over the years, but I鈥檝e never seen you completely nude.鈥 Y/N feels her regular ease with him begin to return, just a little bit. 鈥淚 would remember that.鈥
鈥淲ould you?鈥 Harry cocks an eyebrow, his coffee cup half raised to his lips.
The bit of ease that returned disappears immediately. 鈥淚鈥斺 Y/N鈥檚 cheeks heat up again. 鈥淪hut up, you know what I meant.鈥
Harry tries to hide his laugh behind his coffee, but fails. 鈥淚鈥檓 just teasing you, love. 聽It鈥檚 fine, promise. 聽I don鈥檛 mind that you saw. 聽I鈥檓 very comfortable in my body.鈥
Y/N rolls her eyes. 鈥淭oo comfortable, I think.鈥
鈥淚s there such a thing as being too comfortable in your body?鈥 Harry asks in a teasing voice, crossing his arms.
鈥淲hen your best friend walks in on you naked and you don鈥檛 bother to cover yourself?鈥 Despite the blush on her cheeks, Y/N manages to laugh. 鈥淵es. 聽There is.鈥
鈥淚 don鈥檛 know鈥︹ Harry finishes his coffee and sets the mug in the kitchen sink. 鈥淚t sounds like there鈥檚 issues with your comfort, not mine.鈥
Before Y/N can form a reply, Harry shoots her a smirk and walks out of the kitchen.
For the rest of the day, Y/N does her best not to think about that morning鈥檚 awkward encounter. Brunch with her friends is normal, and she just lets herself enjoy having Harry home, and catching up with everyone. 聽The afternoon also passes in an unremarkable way, as does that night. 聽Over the next few days, however, things begin to change.
Within two weeks, the atmosphere of the country has shifted. 聽There鈥檚 a virus that鈥檚 highly contagious and can be fatal, Y/N鈥檚 work tells her to work from home, and soon the entire country is being told to stay home to avoid catching Coronavirus.
And then Harry texts her two days later, without any warning or leeway for her to disagree.
I鈥檓 on the last flight back to London. 聽Pack a bag and bring some groceries to my place, so we can isolate together. 聽You鈥檒l go crazy alone in your flat.
Y/N tries to reply that it鈥檚 not necessary, but her message doesn鈥檛 go through. 聽Harry鈥檚 already on the plane. 聽So she does what he says, and packs a bag of clothes, her work bag, some alcohol, and her favourite snacks, and drives over to his house.
Letting herself in with her key, Y/N begins to bring the house back to life. 聽She lights Harry鈥檚 candles and orders some dinner, as well as groceries for the next couple weeks. 聽She makes sure she gets his favourite foods, and the weird snacks that only he likes. 聽She calls her mum to tell her she鈥檒l be with Harry, and Anne, to tell her the same thing. And then she waits.
When Harry finally walks through the front door, he looks more like the tired seventeen year old on his first tour than the grown man she had seen a few weeks ago. 聽The bags under his eyes are evidence of his jetlag and stress, his jacket is rumpled from the plane, his hair just as messy, and he looks like he could collapse the second the door closes behind him.
鈥淗.鈥 Y/N walks towards him and gives him a tight hug. 聽One hand goes to his back and the other to his hair, playing with it as she always does. 鈥淎re you alright?鈥
鈥淟ong flight.鈥 Harry mutters in reply, eyes closed as he holds her tight. 鈥淓veryone鈥檚 going insane in the States. 聽I鈥檓 lucky I got a flight back to London.鈥
鈥淲hy did you?鈥 Y/N pulls back, brushing his messy hair from his eyes. 鈥淵ou could鈥檝e stayed in LA.鈥
鈥淵eah, but鈥︹ Harry shrugs a bit. 鈥淚 knew you鈥檇 be alone. 聽And I wanted to be with you.鈥
Y/N can鈥檛 help the soft smile that creeps onto her face. 鈥淐鈥檓on. 聽I have dinner ready.鈥
Harry barely makes it through dinner with his eyes open, but still insists on watching a movie after. Y/N tries to tell him that he should just go to sleep, but he won鈥檛 hear it.
鈥淲e can watch it in my bed, like we used to when we were little.鈥 Harry gives her his best puppy dog eyes. 鈥淧lease?鈥
Y/N shoves his shoulder. 鈥淵ou鈥檙e twenty-six. 聽Stop pouting to get what you want.鈥
鈥淚鈥檒l stop pouting when it stops working.鈥
Y/N laughs in spite of herself. 鈥淔ine, but shower first. 聽You smell like a plane.鈥
Of course, as predicted, Harry starts to drift to sleep within the first half hour of the movie. He slips down in the bed more and more, until his head is in Y/N鈥檚 lap completely. 聽Out of habit, Y/N begins to play with his damp curls, running her fingers through them at a steady pace as she watches the movie.
Harry鈥檚 breathing begins to even out as she does, and Y/N begins to pay more attention to him than the TV. 聽When they spend the night with each other, Y/N always falls asleep first. 聽It鈥檚 rare she gets to see him completely relaxed.
As much as she loves his green eyes, his eyelashes may be a close second. 聽They鈥檙e so long and dark that they almost make Y/N jealous. 聽And his cheeks鈥he brings one hand up to gently touch them. 聽They鈥檙e stubbled from his long day of travel, but the skin underneath feels soft. Despite having lost his baby fat years ago, there鈥檚 still a layer of tenderness in his body.
Y/N is so distracted by him that she doesn鈥檛 realize that she鈥檚 stopped playing with his hair, not until Harry speaks up.
鈥淲hy鈥檇 you stop?鈥 His voice is groggy with exhaustion, lower, with a thicker accent. 聽His words slur together as well
鈥淗m?鈥 Y/N hums in her throat in response. 鈥淚 thought you were asleep.鈥
鈥淣ot really.鈥 Harry鈥檚 eyes stay closed as he shifts his position a bit. 鈥淲ill you play with my hair a bit longer? 聽Feels nice.鈥
The movie credits roll in the background as Y/N does what he says. 聽Harry sighs contently, relaxing back into her again.
Y/N turns the TV off, so the only light in the room comes from the moon through the open curtains. It shines over half of Harry鈥檚 face, catching the ends of his eyelashes. 聽Somehow, the moonlight makes his cheeks and lips even more pink. 聽
鈥淵ou鈥檙e really pretty, y鈥檏now that?鈥 Y/N says it absentmindedly, her fingers still combing through Harry鈥檚 curls.
鈥淭hanks.鈥 He has just enough energy to mumble a response. 鈥溾橫, not as pretty as you, though.鈥
Y/N鈥檚 stomach flutters when he says it, so quiet that she鈥檚 not even certain she heard him correctly. 鈥淟iar.鈥
鈥溾橲 true.鈥 Harry鈥檚 reply is even less audible than before. 鈥淪o pretty.鈥
If Harry was awake and more present in the conversation, Y/N might tease him. 聽She might try to make him blush, or roll his eyes, or laugh. Maybe, just maybe, she鈥檇 even ask him to elaborate, just enough that she could figure out what the fluttering in her stomach means.
But Harry is hardly awake right now. 聽And it wouldn鈥檛 be fair.
鈥淕o to sleep, H,鈥 is all Y/N says, shifting to lay down a bit more without pausing the movement of her fingers.
It takes Harry a few days to readjust to London time. 聽While Y/N spends her weekdays working from the kitchen table, Harry naps and fiddles with his guitar and journal. 聽While she can tell he鈥檚 working on something, Y/N can also tell that he鈥檚 not making much process.
A week after coming back from LA, Harry half stomps into the kitchen during the afternoon, frustration clear on his face as he opens the fridge and grabs an apple. 聽He bites into it angrily and leans against the counter, the irritation still on his face.
Y/N glances at him from behind her laptop. 鈥淓verything alright?鈥
Harry gives half a shrug. 鈥淭rying to write.鈥
鈥淎nd how鈥檚 that going?鈥
鈥淔ucking sucks.鈥 Harry takes another bite of the apple. 鈥淚 thought I鈥檇 feel more inspired, being at home and not having deadlines, but I can鈥檛 get anything out. 聽Not anything good, anyways.鈥
鈥淚 know the feeling.鈥 Y/N sighs as she closes her laptop. 鈥淭here鈥檚 been a huge surge in online orders, and my boss wants me to create more promo material, but it鈥檚 hard to focus on anything right now.鈥
Harry nods and glances out the window. 鈥淒oesn鈥檛 help that it鈥檚 a beautiful day, but we can鈥檛 go out.鈥
鈥淲e can go out. 聽We just can鈥檛 leave the property.鈥 Y/N replies. 鈥淵ou have a giant backyard. 聽Why don鈥檛 you use it?鈥
鈥淵eah. 聽Maybe I鈥檒l go for a swim.鈥 Harry takes another bite of his apple. 鈥淵ou want to come?鈥
Y/N laughs a bit. 鈥淯nlike you, H, I have a real nine to five job. 聽I鈥檓 on the clock for another two hours.鈥
鈥淎fter, then.鈥 Harry tosses his apple core in the compost and gives her a grin. 鈥淚 hope you packed that yellow bikini.鈥
Y/N crumples a piece of scrap paper in her hand and throws it at him. 鈥淧iss off.鈥
Y/N did, in fact, pack her yellow bikini. 聽However, when she鈥檚 changing from her clothes into a swimsuit, she chooses her blue bikini instead, just to have a bit of agency. 聽Every instinct in her is telling her to wear what Harry said to, and it鈥檚 a little concerning. 聽She鈥檚 never cared about dressing for him before, and she isn鈥檛 prepared to start.
Despite the different colour, Harry still grins from the edge of the pool when he sees her walk out. 鈥淟ook at you. 聽Should鈥檝e put you in the Watermelon Sugar music video.鈥
鈥淪hut up.鈥 Y/N sits on the edge of the pool, dangling her lets in the water. 聽Harry rests his head on his arms, his cheeky grin still on his face as he looks up at her.
鈥淚鈥檓 serious.鈥 He says innocently. 鈥淚t was a fun day. 聽You really would鈥檝e liked it.鈥
鈥淥f course you thought it was fun; you had a bunch of beautiful girls fawning over you and feeding you fruit.鈥 Y/N rolls her eyes from behind her sunglasses. 鈥淵ou鈥檙e such a narcissist.鈥
鈥淎ll musicians are narcissists, love. 聽At least, the best ones are.鈥 Harry鈥檚 grin grows as he pushes away from the ledge. 鈥淎re you going to just sit there and look pretty, or are you actually going to swim?鈥
鈥淚鈥檓 going to tan.鈥 Y/N leans her head back, enjoying the feeling of the warm sun.
Harry shakes his head. 鈥淣o, sorry. 聽The pool is for swimming only.鈥
鈥淪ays who?鈥
鈥淪ays me.鈥
In hindsight, Y/N should鈥檝e known what Harry was about to do. 聽She鈥檚 been friends with him long enough that she knows how his brain works. However, Y/N is enjoying the sun so much that she lets her guard down for one moment, and that one moment is all Harry needs.
She feels his hands grip her legs, and before she can stop him, he pulls her into the pool. 聽Her entire body submerges, and when she finally rises, gasping for air, the only thing she can hear is Harry鈥檚 snickering.
鈥淵ou鈥檙e such an ass!鈥 Y/N hits his shoulder hard, not caring about leaving a mark on him. 鈥淭hat鈥檚 not funny!鈥
鈥淭he pool is for swimming only. 聽I told you.鈥 Harry can鈥檛 stop laughing long enough to make it through his sentence clearly. 鈥淭hem鈥檚 the rules.鈥
鈥淭hem鈥檚 the rules.鈥 Y/N repeats in a mocking voice, hitting him one more time. 鈥淵ou鈥檙e the worst.鈥
鈥淢aybe, but you鈥檙e stuck with me.鈥 Harry runs a hand through his wet hair. 鈥淎t least until quarantine is done.鈥
鈥淚 should鈥檝e stayed alone in my apartment.鈥 Y/N mutters, tossing her wet sunglasses on the pool ledge. 鈥淲ould鈥檝e been so much more peaceful.鈥
鈥淎nd boring.鈥 Harry points out. 鈥淎nd you wouldn鈥檛 get to take relaxing swims like this!鈥
鈥淩ight. 聽Relaxing.鈥 Y/N splashes him playfully. 鈥淛erk.鈥
Harry just grins at you.
鈥淲ant one?鈥
Y/N glances at Harry as he packs loose marijuana into a wrapper, concentration clear on his face as he rolls it.
鈥淵ou learn how to roll those in LA?鈥 Y/N asks, taking a sip of her wine.
Harry chuckles lightly, his skin illuminated by the fire burning in front of them and the moon above them. 鈥淵eah. 聽I鈥檓 not very good, though. 聽Usually I have somebody else to roll them for me.鈥
鈥淪o high maintenance.鈥
Another low laugh rolls out of Harry鈥檚 mouth. 鈥淗a. 聽High maintenance.鈥
Y/N rolls her eyes, but an endearing smile is on her face. 鈥淚t鈥檚 still illegal in the U.K., you know.鈥
鈥淚 doubt the police are going to break social distancing rules to arrest me for it.鈥 Harry鈥檚 tongue pokes out of his mouth as he tries his best to roll the joint tightly.
Y/N watches as Harry brings the wrapper to his mouth, licking it lightly. 聽To her dismay, her attraction to Harry had yet to fade, and spending every moment of the day together wasn鈥檛 helping.
鈥淚鈥檓 not an eighteen year old girl on your tour bus anymore, Harry.鈥 Y/N raises her wine glass. 鈥淚 drink red wine now. 聽I鈥檓 sophisticated.鈥
Harry snorts, his eyes flickering to her before looking back down at the joint. 鈥淪ophisticated, right. Like you didn鈥檛 do body shots off the bartender at your birthday party this year.鈥
Y/N鈥檚 cheeks burn. 鈥淏irthdays don鈥檛 count.鈥
鈥淣either did tour buses, and neither does my backyard in the middle of a pandemic.鈥 Harry seals the joint as best he can. 鈥淵ou may have a fancy job now, but you鈥檙e still my Y/N.鈥
His Y/N. 聽That phrase ignites the now familiar flutter in her stomach and, over the last few days, her core. 聽Something about Harry identifying her as his drives Y/N insane, even if it鈥檚 nothing new.
鈥淎nd what exactly does your Y/N do?鈥 She manages to say after a moment.
鈥淪he doesn鈥檛 take shit from anyone. 聽She gets drunk fast and high faster. 聽She鈥檚 always down for a laugh. 聽And, although she won鈥檛 admit it, she has a tendency to make bad decisions that she tries to suppress, but can鈥檛 always manage to do so.鈥 Harry sparks his lighter and sticks the joint between his lips, lighting it and puffing it quickly.
鈥淭hen you should know that your Y/N can鈥檛 have a joint of her own.鈥 Y/N steals the joint from Harry鈥檚 lips, taking a few puffs of her own from it before handing it back.
The smoke curls in her lungs, forcing a few coughs from her.
鈥淎lright?鈥 Harry asks, concern in his eyes.
Y/N nods, her hand pressed to her chest like she can stop the burn. 鈥淵eah. 聽Just haven鈥檛 done that in a while.鈥
鈥淵ou always cough so much. It would be cute if it wasn鈥檛 so bloody concerning.鈥 Harry says casually, lifting the joint to his lips and inhaling.
Y/N watches as he exhales smoke slowly. 聽She wonders if she looks as attractive as he does when she blows out smoke.
Harry grins at her with just the corner of his mouth, like there鈥檚 a secret tugging at the edge of his lips.
Y/N really doubts it.
鈥淗ere.鈥 Harry places the joint between her lips. 鈥淚nhale slowly.鈥
Y/N does as he says, doing her best to keep from coughing until the joint and his hand is away from her face. 聽Her eyes burn a bit, both from the smoke and the oncoming high that鈥檚 starting to twist through her body.
鈥淭hat鈥檚 a good girl.鈥 Harry praises her before leaning back, placing the joint back between his own lips. 鈥淵ou鈥檝e gotten better at that. 聽Thought you were going to pass out the first time we smoked, remember?鈥
鈥淚 remember I almost did.鈥 Y/N giggles to herself as she settles down into the couch more. 鈥淚 coughed so much that I thought I was going to die on that tour bus.鈥
鈥淣iall was certain you had.鈥 Harry laughs too, and Y/N known they鈥檙e both playing back the same memory. 鈥淲asn鈥檛 quite sure how we were going to explain that one to Paul. 聽Neither was I, honestly.鈥
鈥淵ou don鈥檛 give me enough credit.鈥 Despite the feeling coming over her, YN still takes another sip of her wine. 鈥淚 was fine.鈥
Harry nods as he finishes the joint, setting the butt down into his ash tray. 鈥淪till鈥e had some fun nights on the bus when you were there.鈥
鈥淭hat was a fun summer.鈥 Y/N agrees, her eyes fixed on the fire before them. 鈥淟ots of good memories.鈥
As Y/N watches the fire, Harry watches her. 聽He lets another moment or two pass before speaking again.
鈥淲hen you were on tour with us that summer鈥︹ He rubs his lips absentmindedly. 鈥淵ou and Niall. 聽Did you two ever鈥?鈥
鈥淲hat? 聽Fuck?鈥 The weed and the alcohol take away the careful tone of Y/N鈥檚 regular speech, leaving honesty and bluntness behind.
Harry laughs once. 鈥淚 was going to say date, but yeah. 聽I guess so.鈥
鈥淲e didn鈥檛 date. We fooled around a few times.鈥 Y/N shrugs, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. 鈥淗e was fun. 聽But we both knew it wasn鈥檛 anything serious, just something to do while I was on tour with you.鈥
Harry nods a bit, reaching for his own drink and taking a sip. 聽Y/N watches the movement with heavy lidded eyes. 聽His arm muscles flex underneath his tattooed skin when he moves, and the way his fingers wrap around his glass is fascinating to her.
鈥淚 figured he would have told you.鈥 Y/N pulls her sweater around her tighter. 聽Now that the sun has set completely, a chill has appeared. 鈥淵ou guys always talked about girls together.鈥
鈥淣o, he didn鈥檛 tell me. And I didn鈥檛 ask.鈥 Harry keeps his glass in his hand, looking down at it with an unreadable expression. 鈥淚 thought you might tell me, but you didn鈥檛, either.鈥
The substances in Y/N鈥檚 system are clouding her mind, but she does her best to focus on Harry鈥檚 words. As a way to ground herself, she pulls her sweater away from her body, hoping that the cold air will help.
鈥淚鈥檓 sorry.鈥 She says slowly, like it takes all her effort to get the words out. 鈥淚 didn鈥檛 mean to鈥urt your feelings.鈥
鈥淵ou didn鈥檛.鈥
鈥淥h.鈥 Confusion fogs Y/N鈥檚 mind. 鈥淭hen鈥hy is it bothering you?鈥
鈥淚t鈥檚 not bothering me.鈥 Harry denies, finishing off his drink. 鈥淚 was just wondering why. 聽You usually tell me everything. 聽You always have.鈥
Y/N bites her lip. 鈥淚 don鈥檛 tell you about every person I sleep with.鈥
Harry hums low in the back of his throat, but offers no other response.
After a few minutes, Y/N stands up. 鈥淚 think I鈥檓 going to head to bed.鈥
Twisting his empty glass around in his hands, Harry nods. 鈥淎lright. 聽I鈥檒l be up in a little bit.鈥
鈥淵ou know, you have a guest room.鈥 Y/N pauses, fiddling with the bottom of her sweater. 聽Her skin feels unsettled, and the fabric against it isn鈥檛 helping. 鈥淚 should probably start using it. 聽Social distancing, and all that.鈥
Harry looks up at her, a stubborn look reflecting in his eyes. 鈥淣o. 聽I sleep better with you beside me.鈥
When Harry finally comes up to bed an hour later, Y/N is still awake, eyes closed, with her back away from the door and head toward the wall. 聽She doesn鈥檛 turn over when she hears the door creak open, and instead just listens to the rustling sounds of Harry changing, going to the bathroom, washing his hands, and returning to the bedroom.
Y/N feels his weight on the bed, but doesn鈥檛 hear him slide in next to her. 聽Instead, she does her best to stay completely relaxed when she feels his fingers brush against her hairline, pushing back a few loose strands.
Staying completely relaxed, it turns out, is easier thought than done. 聽The moment Harry touches her, Y/N feels the nerves in her face burst to life. It鈥檚 like electricity, like nothing she鈥檚 ever felt before from any previous touches from Harry. 聽Behind her closed eyes, Y/N feels her head spinning, but she鈥檚 certain it must be the weed and the alcohol in her system.
Finally, the sheets are pulled back, and Harry gets under the covers. 聽He pulls Y/N back against him, and Y/N can feel the hot skin of his chest pressed against her shoulders. 聽Harry takes a moment to adjust before sighing, almost in content, and then he presses a gentle kiss to the back of her shoulder.
The tender action leaves Y/N speechless. 聽The action itself isn鈥檛 new; they had always been very physically affectionate with each other. 聽But there鈥檚 something about the moment that Y/N can鈥檛 quite place a finger on. Perhaps she would be able to if she was sober, or less tired, but with her brain in its current state, the words she needs are lost, and she鈥檚 certain she won鈥檛 remember the feeling in the morning.
Harry inhales deeply, his nose buried in her hair, and sighs again. 聽Y/N can feel him relaxing back against her, but his arms stay wrapped around her tightly. 聽It鈥檚 a comforting embrace, and makes it easy for Y/N鈥檚 mind to finally quiet and drift off.
鈥淵ou鈥檙e still working?鈥
Y/N looks up from her laptop to see Harry standing above her, sweaty from his workout. 聽His hair is tied up in a little ponytail on top of his head, and he has a towel wrapped around his shoulders that he uses to wipe sweat from his face. 聽His body is literally glistening in the sunlight, and Y/N suddenly finds it very hard to focus on her work.
鈥淚 am.鈥 She says finally, closing the lid of her laptop and stretching out on the beach chair. 鈥淥r I was. I鈥檓 done for today.鈥
鈥淕ood.鈥 Harry sits down on the chair next to her. 鈥淚鈥檓 going to have a shower, but I was thinking we should try baking something later.鈥
Y/N raises an eyebrow. 鈥淲hy?鈥
鈥淏ecause I want cupcakes, and homemade are way better than store bought.鈥 Harry says easily, stealing Y/N鈥檚 water and taking a gulp from it.
Y/N watches his throat move as he swallows the water, how his Adam鈥檚 apple bobs, how he licks his lips when he finally pulls the glass away from his mouth.
Y/N鈥檚 own mouth suddenly feels very dry.
鈥淎lright, yeah.鈥 Y/N nods weakly. 鈥淲e can bake something later. 聽It鈥檒l be fun.鈥
鈥淚t鈥檒l be fun.鈥 Y/N shakes her head in disbelief. 鈥淕od, I can鈥檛 believe I said that.鈥
鈥淚t was fun!鈥 Harry argues, holding up a red velvet cupcake. 鈥淎nd we did it!鈥
鈥淎nd we made a mess.鈥 Y/N gestures to the kitchen around them, which looks like a warzone. 聽Flour, powdered sugar, and cocoa powder cover every counter surface. 聽There are broken eggshells on the counter, splatters of batter everywhere, and both Y/N and Harry have dyed red hands from food colouring.
鈥淚t could be worse.鈥 Harry shrugs, clearly untroubled. 鈥淐鈥檓on. 聽Try a cupcake.鈥
Y/N reaches for one, but Harry simply lifts the one in his hand to her mouth. 聽She locks eyes with him as she takes a bite, the icing smearing across her top lip.
Y/N chews slowly and swallows hard. 鈥淵eah. 聽They鈥檙e good.鈥
Harry extends a hand, and his finger runs along her lip, collecting the icing. 聽He pops it into his mouth, sucking for a moment before humming in agreement. 鈥淵eah. 聽Sweet.鈥
The cupcakes, it turns out, pair well with watermelon cocktails, and soon Y/N and Harry are sitting on the couch, takeout and cupcakes in front of them and drinks in their hands as they giggle and talk. 聽They鈥檙e intoxicated, but not just from the alcohol in the strong drinks that Harry makes.
鈥淗onestly, working from home isn鈥檛 ideal, but it鈥檚 not that bad.鈥 Y/N pops a bite of food into her mouth, chewing thoughtfully. 鈥淒efinitely not the worst part of quarantine.鈥
鈥淵eah?鈥 Harry leans back on the couch. 鈥淲hat鈥檚 the worst part?鈥
Y/N shrugs. 鈥淚t sucks being away from people, cooped up inside.鈥
Harry nods, but his face looks wistful. 鈥淚 miss sex.鈥
Y/N laughs, but she nods in agreement as well. 鈥淔uck, I know. 聽I miss sex so much.鈥
鈥淚t鈥檚 nice, you know? A good way to burn some energy鈥lways sleep so well after鈥︹ Harry sighs, taking a sip of his drink between his phrases. 鈥淚 feel like I鈥檓 back on a tour bus again, with no one around but my hand.鈥
A giggle escapes Y/N鈥檚 mouth. 鈥淗ow tragic.鈥 She also takes a sip of her drink, and tries to stop herself from making a face. 聽Harry really does make them strong. 鈥淚 just miss touching. 聽I haven鈥檛 been this touch starved since I was seventeen.鈥
Harry makes a scoffing noise in the back of his throat. 鈥淲e touch.鈥
鈥淭hat鈥檚 different.鈥 Y/N finishes her drink. 鈥淭hat鈥檚 friendly touching. 聽It鈥檚 not what I meant.鈥
鈥淲hat did you mean, then?鈥 Harry challenges her, a glint in his eyes that Y/N鈥檚 come to recognize as a sign of trouble.
She refuses to take the bait. 鈥淵ou know what I meant.鈥
鈥淚 don鈥檛.鈥 Harry says it innocently, and he reaches forward to take her glass from her. 鈥淗ow about I get us some refills while you think of how to say it?鈥
Y/N lets him take the glass (she loves his drinks, despite how strong they are), but shakes her head. 鈥淪top being an ass. 聽You know exactly what I meant.鈥
A low laugh rolls out of Harry as he walks to the built-in bar he has in the lounge. 聽He begins to recreate the drinks, muddling this, adding a splash of that. 聽If Harry wasn鈥檛 already a rock star, she鈥檇 suggest he become a mixologist.
鈥淢aybe I do know what you meant.鈥 Harry shakes the cocktail shaker with ease before straining the liquid out over their glasses, which he鈥檚 filled with fresh ice. 鈥淏ut I want to hear you say it.鈥
Y/N runs a hand through her hair. 聽She feels warm from the alcohol, and the lit candles around them aren鈥檛 helping. 聽The food and cupcakes sit on the table, all but forgotten in their new conversation. 鈥淪ay what?鈥
Harry鈥檚 lips pull up in a smirk, but his eyes show something else. 聽He walks back over and hands her the drink before taking a seat next to her again. 鈥淭he kind of touching you miss.鈥
Their fingers touch as Y/N takes the glass from him, and suddenly the warmth of the room feels ten times hotter. 鈥淵ou want me to say it?鈥
Harry lifts his glass to his lips, but keeps his eyes on her. 鈥淚 do.鈥
鈥淚鈥︹ Y/N takes a sip of the drink (which is stronger than the one before) and then presses the cold glass to her cheek. 鈥淚 miss touching. 聽Intimate touching. 聽And鈥eing touched intimately.鈥 聽
Harry inhales deeply, stretching out his shoulders before responding. 鈥淵eah. 聽I miss that too. 聽Holding hands, touching someone鈥檚 stomach, chest, legs鈥aving them play with my hair鈥︹
鈥淚 play with your hair.鈥 Y/N says defensively, a crease appearing between her eyebrows.
Harry laughs once. 鈥淩ight, but like you said鈥hat鈥檚 different.鈥
Y/N clears her throat. 鈥淩ight.鈥
Harry takes a long sip from his drink. 鈥溾橲 still nice, though.鈥 Harry adds after a moment, licking his lips. 鈥淚 love when you play with my hair. 聽You know that.鈥
Nodding softly, Y/N begins to trail a finger over the rim of her glass. 聽Whenever she begins to get tipsy, she begins to fidget more, and feel freer in her actions. 聽And when Y/N glances back at Harry, she can tell he recognizes the sign as well.
鈥淲hat about you?鈥 He asks, bringing her back from her thoughts. 鈥淲hat do you miss having people do?鈥
Y/N drinks again, pulling her knees to her chest as she leans against the couch鈥檚 armrest. 鈥淚 miss鈥aving my hair played with, too. 聽That鈥檚 always nice. 聽I miss having my fingers played with鈥eck kisses鈥 like when people, like, rub my arms or thighs, just absentmindedly鈥︹ She leans her head against her arm. 鈥淵our turn.鈥
鈥淢y turn?鈥 Harry rubs his nose lightly, and Y/N can tell he鈥檚 feeling the alcohol, too. 鈥淲hat鈥檚 my turn?鈥
鈥淭ell me what else you like.鈥 Y/N smiles softly, a small laugh just barely bubbling out from her. 鈥淲e鈥檝e never actually talked about it, H. 聽Isn鈥檛 that strange?鈥
Harry turns to face her more, pausing to think for a moment. 鈥淚 suppose we鈥檝e never been specific before, yeah.鈥 He taps his thumb against his H ring. 鈥淚 like being in control, usually. Telling them what to do, where to touch me鈥︹ His eyes get a faraway look in them. 鈥淏ut sometimes it鈥檚 nice to give up control. 聽Have someone else鈥︹
鈥淒ecide.鈥 Y/N finishes his sentence for him when he trails off. 鈥淵eah. 聽I鈥檓 more like that, I think. 聽I usually let someone else decide. 聽But I like the in-between, too. 聽Like鈥oth exploring each other.鈥
鈥淲hat do you mean?鈥 Harry cocks his head to the side curiously.
Y/N shrugs loosely, her finger still tracing her glass. 鈥溾橲 hard to explain.鈥
Harry鈥檚 voice is low when he replies, almost like he鈥檚 somewhere else. 鈥淭ry.鈥
鈥淲ell鈥︹ Y/N takes a drink before setting her glass down. 鈥淚t鈥檚 like鈥o you remember your first time?鈥
Harry blinks, surprised at the question, but nods. 鈥淵eah. 聽I do.鈥
鈥淎nd remember how nervous you were?鈥
鈥淵eah.鈥
鈥淎nd like鈥︹ Y/N plays with her fingers as she ponders her next words. 鈥淵ou were nervous, yeah, but there was also this excitement in you. 聽Kind of like鈥 breathlessness. 聽And you looked at the other person and knew they鈥︹
Harry closes his eyes for a moment. 鈥淔elt the same.鈥
鈥淵eah.鈥 Y/N tucks her hair behind her ears. 鈥淎nd just, like, being comfortable with them, and knowing you could both explore, and ask questions, and you were both together鈥︹ Y/N feels heat rise to her cheeks as she trails off. 鈥淚 don鈥檛 know. 聽I feel like that鈥檚 rare, but I鈥攊t鈥檚 nice. 聽I like it.鈥
鈥淵eah.鈥 Harry rubs his thumb over his lip as he shifts his position on the couch. 鈥淚t鈥檚 nice, yeah. Rare, usually. 聽But nice.鈥
鈥淚 think it鈥檚 rare, because, like鈥斺 The alcohol makes it harder for Y/N to gather her thoughts, but also harder to sensor them. 鈥淚 don鈥檛 know, I feel like when I was younger, and hadn鈥檛 had sex yet, I took more time with, like, finding the right person? Like I wanted it to be with someone who loved me for the first time, and someone I was comfortable with, and it was. And then after, the love part didn鈥檛 matter so much for me.鈥 Y/N glances at Harry, who seems to be hanging on her every word. 鈥淲hich, like, was fine. 聽What mattered to me the most was that whoever I had sex with respected me. And they did, so that was鈥ood. But it鈥檚 different.鈥 Y/N rubs her arms. 鈥淚 don鈥檛 know if that makes sense鈥︹
鈥淚t does.鈥 Harry assures her, placing a light hand on her knee. 聽He begins to rub small circles. 鈥淜eep going.鈥
鈥淚 just think that, like, that in-between, breathless, exploring each other kind of thing鈥he comfort鈥hat鈥檚 rare because it only really happens with someone you love.鈥 Y/N murmurs. 鈥淎t least, that鈥檚 how it is for me. 聽And I haven鈥檛 really been in love much in my life.鈥
鈥淚鈥檝e been in love probably too much.鈥 Harry admits, his hand still on Y/N鈥檚 knee. 鈥淭oo much to be good for me.鈥
Y/N shakes her head adamantly. 鈥淣o, H. 聽That鈥檚 good. That鈥檚鈥rave. 聽You鈥檙e not afraid of how you feel. 聽Most people are.鈥
鈥淢aybe.鈥 Harry finishes his drink again with one long gulp. 聽
Y/N watches as he does, seeing a little drip of liquid slip from the corner of his mouth. 聽She can鈥檛 stop herself from leaning forward and wiping it away with her thumb, feeling the stubble of Harry鈥檚 chin scratch against her.
Harry watches her with hooded eyes as she leans back to her previous position. 聽His hand slips a bit higher, from her knee to her lower thigh, but she doesn鈥檛 say anything.
鈥淲ho have you been in love with?鈥 He asks. 聽His words are slurred a bit, and his accent seems thicker.
鈥淢y first boyfriend, Parker. You remember him.鈥 Y/N sighs, closing her eyes as she herself remembers. 鈥淎nd鈥hristian, from university. 聽We were together for two years. 聽That鈥檚 it, I think.鈥
Despite the alcohol, Harry鈥檚 face still shows some surprise. 鈥淩eally? 聽No one else? 聽No one since Christian?鈥
Y/N shrugs. 鈥淚鈥檝e dated, yeah, and had relationships, but鈥 don鈥檛 know. 聽I didn鈥檛 love any of them. 聽I was鈥nfatuated. 聽But I never鈥t was intense, but like鈥攊ntense like a spark. 聽Nothing prolonged.鈥
Harry hums in response. 鈥淭hought you were going to say Niall for a moment. 聽He was pretty torn up when you went back to school after that summer.鈥
Y/N鈥檚 face mimics Harry鈥檚 surprise from a moment ago. 鈥淲as he?鈥
鈥淵eah. 聽Moped around a bit, spent time by himself, on his phone every two minutes鈥︹ Harry鈥檚 expression shows the difficulty it鈥檚 taking him to think back eight years while drunk. 鈥淚 knew it was because you left. 聽Thought you two had an鈥greement, or something.鈥
鈥淎n agreement?鈥 A giggle escapes Y/N. 鈥淭his isn鈥檛 a Jane Austen book, Harry. 聽We didn鈥檛 have an agreement.鈥 Once she gets her laughter out, she sighs. 鈥淗e was that upset?鈥
鈥淵eah.鈥 Harry scratches the back of his neck. 鈥淪o I thought鈥e must be in love with you. 聽And you were鈥︹
鈥淣o, I wasn鈥檛.鈥 Y/N says softly. 鈥淗e was so upset that you thought he was in love with me?鈥
鈥淵eah.鈥
Y/N bites her lip. 鈥淲as he more upset than you?鈥
Harry takes a moment to reply, looking at her with a serious expression. 聽His lips are so red, and his eyes are so green, and both of them are so drunk that neither of them can sense the meaning behind what they鈥檙e saying.
鈥淣o.鈥 Harry finally responds. 鈥淗e wasn鈥檛.鈥
鈥淕ood morning.鈥
鈥淪hhh.鈥 Y/N covers her eyes with her arm. 鈥淒on鈥檛 yell in my ear.鈥
鈥淚 whispered.鈥 Harry counters, but his voice is a bit quieter this time. 鈥淒o you have a headache?鈥
鈥淚 didn鈥檛 know something flavoured with watermelon could make me feel so shitty.鈥 Y/N groans a bit, shifting on the bed without opening her eyes. 鈥淲hat did you do to me?鈥
When Harry laughs, it鈥檚 not audible, but Y/N can feel it through his chest pressed against her side.
鈥淗ow are you completely fine right now?鈥 She asks, rubbing her eyes.
鈥淚鈥檓 used to it. 聽I鈥檝e always been way better with hangovers than you.鈥 Harry presses a small kiss to her shoulder before getting up. 鈥淗ow does breakfast in bed sound?鈥
鈥淣ormally amazing, but I can鈥檛 eat right now.鈥 Y/N mutters. 鈥淗ow about coffee in bed?鈥
鈥淪ure.鈥 Harry smiles a bit. 鈥淵ou look cute like this.鈥
鈥淪hut up.鈥
Harry returns ten minutes later with a tray of coffee, toast, and eggs, of which he manages to coax Y/N to take a few bites. 聽She doesn鈥檛 really want it, but she knows it鈥檚 easier to do as he says instead of arguing.
鈥淗ow about we have a movie day today?鈥 Harry suggests after breakfast. 鈥淚n bed, since it seems like you won鈥檛 be moving anytime soon.鈥
鈥淎nd who鈥檚 fault is that?鈥 Y/N glares at him from the top of her coffee cup.
Harry raises his hands in defense. 鈥淗ey, I didn鈥檛 make you drink. 聽You chose to.鈥
鈥淚 know, but it鈥檚 easier to blame you.鈥
Harry rolls his eyes. 鈥淚s that why you鈥檝e been doing it for twenty years?鈥
鈥淓xactly.鈥
Harry carefully lifts the empty tray to the ground before holding up the remote. 鈥淵ou can pick the movies.鈥
Y/N bites her lip. 鈥淚f we watch Titanic, will you make fun of me when I cry?鈥
鈥淥f course not. 聽I鈥檒l even cry with you out of solidarity.鈥
鈥淎lright.鈥 Y/N settles back into the blankets. 鈥淧ut it on, then.鈥
It鈥檚 easy for them to be like this, Y/N thinks, as Harry pulls her into his arms when the movie starts. It鈥檚 always been so natural for them to be physical and affectionate with each other. 聽They鈥檝e never acted any other way.
Except this doesn鈥檛 feel like any other way.
Yes, Y/N has watched countless movies while cuddling in bed with Harry. 聽But has he ever whispered in her ear like that before? 聽Has he ever rubbed her sides so carefully before? Has he ever let his lips rest on the bare skin of her shoulder, almost at the base of her neck?
Y/N can鈥檛 recall. However, she鈥檚 certain that if he had, it hasn鈥檛 felt so electric.
鈥淟ook at them. 聽Look at how Jack watches her.鈥 Harry murmurs his words directly in Y/N鈥檚 ear as they watch Jack draw Rose. 聽Y/N can feel his lips brushing against her, and the heat of his breath and tone of his voice makes her shiver.
鈥淪he鈥檚 very pretty.鈥 Y/N nods, shifting in Harry鈥檚 arms. 聽She likes how warm he feels.
鈥淚 suppose, but that鈥檚 not what I meant.鈥 Harry traces shapes on her arm. 鈥淚 meant look at how he looks at her. 聽Do you think they have the kind of love you talked about last night?鈥
Y/N glances over her shoulder at him, surprised he remembers their conversation. 鈥淚 think so. 聽Do you?鈥
鈥淵eah.鈥 Harry says in a low voice. 聽He says no more, so Y/N turns back to face the television.
They continue to watch in silence, gripping each other a bit tighter as the Titanic begins to sink. As they watch a mother reading to her two young children in bed, Y/N begins to lose her composure, like always. Tears well in her eyes, and she lets out a quiet hitched breath, a single sniffle.
鈥淚t鈥檚 alright, love.鈥 Harry鈥檚 hands move to her stomach, holding her tighter to comfort her. 鈥淒on鈥檛 cry.鈥
Y/N can hear the tears in his voice, just as they鈥檙e in her own. 鈥淐an鈥檛 help it. 聽This part and the band and the old couple in bed鈥攖hey always get me.鈥
鈥淚 know.鈥 Harry rubs his thumb along your side.
Y/N reaches behind her without turning around, threading her fingers through Harry鈥檚 messy curls. 聽She plays with them absentmindedly as she watches, and tries to ignore how right it feels to be close to him like this. 聽She wonders if he notices it, too.
Harry presses a chaste kiss to her shoulder.
The day they hit the one month mark of quarantine, Harry sits across from Y/N at breakfast with a determined look on his face.
鈥淚 have a proposition for you.鈥
Y/N glances up at him, her attention barely shifting from her book. 鈥淎 proposition?鈥
鈥淵eah.鈥
鈥淲hat kind of proposition?鈥 Y/N tilts her head to the side. 聽What she first thought was just determination on Harry鈥檚 face, she realizes, is actually determination and mischief, and she knows it won鈥檛 end well.
鈥淚 haven鈥檛 had a tattoo in a while.鈥 Harry steals a strawberry from Y/N鈥檚 plate. 鈥淎nd I have a machine here, so I was thinking you could give me one.鈥
Y/N stares at Harry incredulously as he pops the strawberry in his mouth. 鈥淎re you out of your mind?鈥
鈥淧robably.鈥
鈥淚鈥檓 a terrible artist, Harry. 聽You know that.鈥 Y/N shakes her head. 鈥淎nd even if I wasn鈥檛, I have no idea how to tattoo someone!鈥
鈥淵ou can watch a YouTube tutorial, or read a WikiHow.鈥 Harry sighs loudly. 鈥淚鈥檓 so bored in isolation!鈥
鈥淲hat do you even want tattooed?鈥 Y/N eyes the intricate tattoos on his arms suspiciously. 鈥淚 doubt I could do something like your ship.鈥
鈥淪omething simple.鈥 He shrugs. 鈥淧robably lettering.鈥
鈥淧robably?鈥 Y/N says suspiciously.
鈥淭hat鈥檚 why I want you to do it. 聽I want it in your handwriting.鈥
Harry鈥檚 tone is easy, but it makes her breathing shallow.
鈥淵ou do?鈥
鈥淵eah. 聽I was thinking of something to remind me of this time, because of how weird it is.鈥
Despite her increased heartbeat, Y/N laughs. 鈥淲hat, do you want me to tattoo COVID-19 on you?鈥
鈥淣o. 聽Be a little more creative than that.鈥 Harry scoffs.
鈥淲hy do I have to be creative?鈥
鈥淏ecause I want you to decide what I get.鈥
Y/N鈥檚 eyes widen. 鈥淵ou鈥檙e not serious.鈥
鈥淚 am! 聽Why is that so hard to believe?鈥 Harry asks. 鈥淚 trust you. And you鈥檙e good with words.鈥
鈥淣o. 聽Absolutely not.鈥
鈥淢ake sure my drink has two shots in it.鈥 Y/N calls to Harry as she looks over the tattoo supplies on the living room table.
Harry laughs. 鈥淚鈥檓 not sure I want my tattoo artist to be drunk.鈥
鈥淭he only way I鈥檒l even be your tattoo artist is if I鈥檓 drunk.鈥 She counters. 鈥淚 still think this is an awful idea.鈥
Harry hands Y/N a tall glass with a light pink liquid in it. 鈥淒rink this, and you鈥檒l change your mind.鈥
Y/N takes the glass and takes a large gulp, not focusing on the taste of the mixers, but the liquid courage behind them.
Harry grins, lifting his own glass. 鈥淐heers.鈥
鈥淪hut up and sit down.鈥 Y/N mutters. 聽She ties her hair back before grabbing the disinfectant wipes. 鈥淲here do you want this?鈥
鈥淢y upper inner arm. I already shaved it for you.鈥 Harry smirks as he points to the area, which is easily exposed in his loose tank top.
鈥淎nd you鈥檙e sure I can write it with pen?鈥 Y/N asks nervously as she disinfects the area.
鈥淢hmm.鈥 Harry leans back comfortably in his chair. 鈥淲hat did you decide on?鈥
鈥淚t鈥檚 a secret.鈥 Y/N uncaps the pen, getting closer to him.
鈥淪o I can鈥檛 know until after it鈥檚 on me permanently?鈥
鈥淚s that a problem?鈥 Y/N asks innocently. 鈥淚 thought you trusted me?鈥
Harry chuckles. 鈥淚 did say that, didn鈥檛 I?鈥
鈥淎lso that I鈥檓 good with words.鈥 Y/N makes sure Harry鈥檚 head is turned away before she carefully writes the phrase she chose. 聽Then she snaps on gloves and starts the machine like she watched in videos early that day.
鈥淵ou鈥檙e fine, love.鈥 Harry assures her, seeing the nervous look on her face. 鈥淚t鈥檚 a small tattoo. It鈥檒l only take a few minutes.鈥
鈥淨uiet.鈥 Y/N mutters. 鈥淚 need to focus.鈥
True to Harry鈥檚 word, the small tattoo only takes a few minutes to finish. 聽When it鈥檚 done, Y/N gives it one final wipe before setting the machine down and taking off her gloves.
鈥淎lright.鈥 She picks up her glass and drains it completely. 鈥淵ou can look.鈥
Harry peers at his arm, curiosity clear on his face. 聽There, in Y/N鈥檚 loopy handwriting is the phrase 鈥渢ouch me.鈥
鈥淚t looks so fucking good, Y/N.鈥 Harry grins at her. 鈥淵ou did amazing!鈥
鈥淚 didn鈥檛 fuck it up?鈥 She asks, chewing on her lip anxiously. 鈥淚s it alright?鈥
鈥淵ou did a lovely job.鈥 Harry smiles. 鈥淲rap it for me?鈥
Y/N does as he asks, carefully wrapping the fresh tattoo in plastic wrap and taping it to his arm. 鈥淚 think I鈥檒l accept my tip in the form of another drink.鈥
Harry snickers. 鈥淐oming right up.鈥
Two drinks later, they鈥檙e both back in the honest and loose headspace that they鈥檝e grown familiar with. It鈥檚 not enough that they鈥檙e unaware of their actions, but both Y/N and Harry know that their lips are looser because of the liquor in their systems.
They鈥檝e migrated to the bedroom to get comfier, but took a few items from the bar with them. 聽It鈥檚 with these items that Harry tops up Y/N鈥檚 glass again as he speaks.
鈥淪o tell me鈥︹ He sets the cocktail shaker on his bedside table. 鈥淲hy 鈥榯ouch me鈥?鈥
鈥淵ou said you wanted something to remind you of isolation.鈥 Y/N takes a long sip of her drink. 鈥淎nd that鈥檚 what we both miss the most, right? 聽Being touched?鈥
Harry nods slowly, his rings clinking against his glass. 鈥淵eah. 聽I鈥檓 probably going to go straight to the bars after this is all done. 聽Find someone there.鈥
He laughs lightly, showing that what he says it half a joke, but Y/N sighs wistfully and shakes her head in disagreement. 鈥淚 won鈥檛.鈥
鈥淵ou won鈥檛?鈥 Harry is surprised, his laughter fading. 鈥淲hy not?鈥
Her shrug almost causes her to spill her drink on the bed. 鈥淚 don鈥檛 know.鈥 Y/N sighs again. 鈥淚 don鈥檛 really鈥擨鈥檓 not a hookup fan. 聽Not right now, at least. 聽It鈥檚 not what I鈥ant.鈥
鈥淲hat do you want, then?鈥 Harry finishes his drink, but sets the glass down instead of refilling it. 鈥淚f not sex?鈥
鈥淚 want sex.鈥 Y/N says defensively. 鈥淏ut I want鈥擨 don鈥檛 want it to be someone random. 聽I want sex, but I want to be鈥ntimate. 聽Like, I want to know that person cares about me, and I care about them.鈥
Harry licks the last of his drink from his lips. 鈥淟ike that breathless feeling?鈥
鈥淣o. 聽It would be nice, but no. 聽That takes time.鈥 Y/N brushes her hair behind her ear. 鈥淛ust鈥omeone who cares. 聽I don鈥檛 want a quick fuck, I just鈥斺
鈥淵ou want to be touched. Intimately touched.鈥 Harry takes the empty glass from Y/N鈥檚 hand and sets it down on the table next to the bed.
Y/N nods gently, her limbs feeling loose. 鈥淵eah. 聽Intimately touched.鈥
鈥淵ou know, I could鈥︹ Harry trails off, pursing his lips. 鈥淲e could鈥o that.鈥
The alcohol makes Y/N slow to recognize the meaning of his words. 鈥淲hat?鈥
鈥淚鈥檝e noticed you鈥he way you look at me, it鈥檚鈥ifferent than it was.鈥 Harry says carefully, his eyes gauging her reaction. 鈥淔or the last few weeks. 聽And I鈥擨 know that I鈥檓鈥ttracted to you, too.鈥
鈥淲e鈥︹ Y/N struggles to think of what to say as she finally registers what鈥檚 happening. 鈥淲e鈥檙e friends.鈥
鈥淚 know, but that doesn鈥檛 mean I can鈥檛 see you as attractive.鈥 Harry looks down at his hands. 鈥淒on鈥檛 you鈥? 聽I mean鈥︹
鈥淚鈥攜eah. 聽I think you鈥檙e鈥斺 Y/N laughs a bit nervously. 鈥淵ou鈥檙e attractive, H, you know that. 聽We鈥檝e just never鈥iscussed it.鈥
鈥淚鈥檓 not saying we have to fuck, or鈥攚e don鈥檛 have to do anything.鈥 Harry straightens his shoulders and looks you in the eye. 鈥淛ust鈥攚hen we touch, it鈥檚 mild. 聽If you want to be touched intimately, we could鈥︹
鈥淟ike, a hand job?鈥 Y/N says slowly, her words blunt with confusion.
Harry goes a bit red, but he shakes his head quickly. 鈥淣o, Christ, that鈥檚 not what I meant, I鈥攋ust鈥攃an I show you?鈥
鈥淯m,鈥 Y/N swallows hard. 鈥淪ure.鈥
鈥淥kay.鈥 Harry nods slightly, taking carefully measured breaths. 鈥淚f this feels weird, or anything seems wrong, just tell me to stop, alright?鈥
Y/N replies faintly. 鈥淎lright.鈥
Nodding again, Harry moves closer on the bed, sitting on his knees so he can get closer to Y/N, who sits cross-legged. 聽His hands rest lightly on her bare thighs, and his rings are a cool contrast to his warm skin.
Harry begins to rub his hands up and down her thighs slowly. 聽His movements are measured, and he watches Y/N鈥檚 reaction carefully for a sign of her disliking his actions. 聽However, what he finds is a nervous but interested girl staring back at him.
鈥淟ike this. 聽Like, what you like.鈥 Harry says lowly. 聽His hands move more to her inner thighs, but they don鈥檛 creep higher. 鈥淎nd鈥︹
鈥淎nd鈥?鈥 Y/N asks, her heart rate increasing even more.
Harry moves one hand to the hem of Y/N鈥檚 tank top, pushing it up a bit so his hand can rest on her waist. He rubs over her warm skin, marvelling in how smooth and soft it is to his touch. 聽His fingers graze the lace of her bra, but he goes no higher.
鈥淗ow鈥攈ow鈥檚 that?鈥 Harry asks quietly.
鈥淚t鈥檚, um, it鈥檚 good.鈥 Y/N replies as she struggles to keep her voice normal. 鈥淵eah. 聽Good. 聽But, um, can you鈥︹ Harry鈥檚 movements pause at her words, and Y/N feels her cheeks get even warmer. 鈥淢aybe touch my, uh, my neck. 聽If you鈥檇 like.鈥
Harry nods, and the hand on her thigh moves to her neck. 聽He traces his fingers across her shoulder and over her collarbone, delighting in feeling the curves of her body. 聽Y/N鈥檚 breath hitches when his fingers travel up her neck, and Harry swears he can feel her pulse increase under his fingers.
Y/N鈥檚 not sure if it鈥檚 the fact that she鈥檚 touch starved from self isolating that makes Harry鈥檚 touches feel so good, or if it鈥檚 the fact that it鈥檚 Harry touching her, but she doesn鈥檛 dwell on it. 聽Instead, she closes her eyes and tilts her head back, allowing him better access.
She feels Harry鈥檚 breath before she feels his lips, but she鈥檚 still surprised when she feels him begin to sponge light kisses across her neck.
鈥淗鈥︹
鈥淚s this alright?鈥 He asks the question right below her ear, and yet she can barely hear him because he鈥檚 so quiet.
鈥淵es.鈥 Y/N breathes. 鈥淵eah.鈥
鈥淕ood.鈥 Harry returns to pressing light kisses to her skin, his hands still rubbing over her sides and hips.
For the first time since seeing Harry naked in her bathroom, Y/N can鈥檛 deny or explain away her attraction to him. 聽She can鈥檛 convince herself that she doesn鈥檛 want him to touch her, because she does, and she can鈥檛 tell herself that she doesn鈥檛 need him, because she does. Every fibre of her being is telling her that she needs Harry, and she needs him now. 聽Her heart is pounding, her skin is on fire, and her core feels like she鈥檇 going to explode if he doesn鈥檛 do something. 聽And yet, Y/N can鈥檛 tell him to touch her more. 聽She鈥檚 frozen, mind blank, and she can only register what Harry is doing at the moment as what she wants.
Harry continues to kiss her neck, never lingering too long in one spot, never sucking too hard. Every kiss is gentle and chaste, except the few rare ones that include the tip of his tongue running over her skin.
After what feels like an eternity, Harry pulls away from her neck, face flushed. 聽Despite his hands still on her body, Y/N makes an involuntary sound in the back of her throat.
鈥淚s that better?鈥 He asks lowly, rubbing his thumb against your hip.
鈥淚鈥攌ind of.鈥 Y/N says softly. 聽If anything, she thinks, it鈥檚 worse. 聽She needs to satisfy the burn inside her, but she doesn鈥檛 know how.
鈥淕ood.鈥 Harry replies, but he doesn鈥檛 take his hands off her.
Y/N鈥檚 own hands have been sitting at her sides as his moved over her body, but she raises one now, as hesitant as Harry was. 聽She extends it towards his arm, but pauses with her fingers right over his skin.
鈥淚s it okay if I鈥?鈥
The corner of Harry鈥檚 lips lifts up, just barely. 鈥淵eah, love. 聽Go ahead.鈥
Harry鈥檚 skin is warm beneath her touch. 聽Y/N traces the outline of his mermaid tattoo carefully before moving onto others. 聽She loves how his arm curves under her touch, how he stays still and lets her explore. 聽She appreciates it, thinking that if Harry made any sudden movements, she鈥檇 force herself to pull away.
Soon, her fingers move from tracing his tattoos to tracing the lines of his muscles. 聽She moves down his forearm to his hand, running her fingers over the veins that show through his tan skin, over his knuckles, down the tips of his calloused fingers and back. 聽
Harry sucks in a breath, and Y/N鈥檚 trance flickers for a moment as her eyes move to his face to see what鈥檚 wrong.
鈥淪orry, just鈥攕urprised me.鈥 Harry says, voice low yet sheepish. 聽He nods down to his thigh, where Y/N realizes her own hand is resting.
鈥淥h鈥斺 She moves to pull her hand away, but Harry places his own on top.
鈥淚t鈥檚 fine.鈥 He says quickly. 鈥淜eep going.鈥
Y/N bites her lip as she turns her attention back to his arm. 聽Her fingers move slowly and carefully back up his forearm to his upper arm. She traces over his tattoos while she rubs her thumb gently against the muscle, and stops her fingers at the edge of his t-shirt sleeve. 聽With a quick glance at Harry, she pushes the sleeve up, tucking it up on his shoulder so she can run her fingers over his ship tattoo, which is one of her favourites.
鈥淔eels nice.鈥 Harry murmurs, his eyes following her movements.
Y/N glances back at his face, taking in his appearance. 聽His lips are red from the time he spent kissing her neck, and his cheeks are still flushed. 聽His eyes are darker than usual, and she鈥檚 not certain if it鈥檚 the candlelight or something else causing it. 聽There鈥檚 a light sheen of sweat on his forehead, with a few loose curls hanging down. Out of reflex, Y/N reaches up and pushes his hair back out of his eyes.
Before she can return her hand to his arm, Harry captures it in his own. 聽Y/N watches as he brings it to his lips, inhaling as her wrist passes underneath his nose. 聽Although she鈥檚 not sure why, there鈥檚 something about seeing how much smaller her hand is in Harry鈥檚 that delights her.
Harry presses a soft kiss to her wrist, following it up with another on her palm. 聽Y/N鈥檚 eyelids flutter at the tender sensation.
鈥淚t鈥檚 my turn to touch you.鈥 She says softly, her voice strained.
Harry hums in reply. 鈥淚 know.鈥 He kisses your wrist once more before looking at you. 鈥淚鈥檒l help.鈥
Lifting his hand from his thigh (your hand, which was underneath, stays where it is), he pulls up his shirt just enough that he can sneak your hand underneath. 聽He rests it on his lower chest, and even though his shirt is still partially covering him, Y/N knows she鈥檚 touching his butterfly tattoo.
鈥淚 like to be touched here.鈥 Harry says in the same low voice.
鈥淥kay.鈥 Y/N bites her lip, her head swimming with alcohol and the smell of the candles and Harry鈥檚 cologne and Harry. 鈥淚t鈥ould be easier without your shirt.鈥
Without breaking eye contact, save for the moment fabric covers him, Harry pulls his shirt over his head and tosses it to the side. 鈥淏etter?鈥
Y/N鈥檚 eyes drift down to his tanned stomach. 聽His body is familiar and a stranger to her all at once. 聽She knows his tattoos, scars, every mark on his skin from a distance, but seeing it like this鈥攖ouching it like this鈥攎akes her feel like she鈥檚 never truly seen him before.
鈥淏etter.鈥 She manages to say, her hand brushing across his ribs.
Y/N spends a while exploring the planes of his stomach, the contours of his body. 聽When she gets to his v-lines, and runs her fingers over the ferns tattooed there, Harry shivers a bit, his hand gripping her knee tighter.
Y/N massages his thigh gently. 鈥淎lright?鈥
鈥淵eah.鈥 Harry clears his throat. 鈥淚鈥檓 good.鈥
鈥淥kay.鈥 Y/N nods, but moves her hand further up again, over his chest and over his collar bones. 聽She takes a moment to trace the lines of his neck, feel the beat if his pulse underneath her fingers, and then tangles her fingers in his hair. 聽She uses the leverage to tilt his head back a bit, and presses her lips to the base of his neck.
Harry鈥檚 cologne smells better up close, and Y/N adores the heat of his skin on her sensitive lips. She presses small kisses over the curve of his neck, pausing over his jugular. 聽Her tongue darts out and she carefully licks along it before ending the motion with a kiss.
鈥淐hrist鈥︹ Harry exhales slowly, the tips of his fingers digging into her knee slightly.
Y/N knows they鈥檙e crossing the threshold of just touching each other for the sake of touching. 聽She can feel herself dripping in her panties, and when her eyes flicker down, she can see the outline of Harry鈥檚 half hard cock in his shorts. 聽Together, they鈥檝e reached the border of friends helping each other out, and she鈥檚 certain that she wants to cross it with him. 聽However, she鈥檚 not sure if they should.
Pulling back enough to look Harry in the eyes, Y/N clears her throat. 鈥淗, we鈥攚hat are we doing?鈥
Harry waits a moment to answer. 鈥淚鈥 don鈥檛 know. 聽I have no fucking clue.鈥
鈥淭his isn鈥檛 friendly anymore.鈥 Y/N鈥檚 voice drops to a whisper. 鈥淚t鈥檚 not just鈥攊t鈥檚 intimate, yeah, but it鈥檚 more鈥︹ Her eyes move to the outline of his hardening cock once more before looking back up at his face. 鈥淚t鈥檚 more.鈥
鈥淵eah. 聽It鈥檚 more.鈥 Harry moves his hand further up her thigh again, rubbing slow circles. 鈥淏ut I don鈥檛 want to stop.鈥
Y/N sucks in a breath. 鈥淵ou don鈥檛?鈥
鈥淚t鈥檚 been so long since鈥︹ Harry trails off, his gaze drifting down to your lips before returning to your eyes. 鈥淎nd it鈥檚 you. 聽I鈥檝e always wondered if鈥攚e鈥斺
鈥淚鈥檝e wondered, too.鈥 Y/N admits, her voice filled with nerves. 聽Are they really discussing this? 鈥淓specially since that day, in the bathroom鈥斺
鈥淚 wondered if you looked then.鈥 Harry鈥檚 voice drops lower (which Y/N didn鈥檛 think was possible). 鈥淚 thought about it later that day. 聽I鈥攆uck, I wanted you to look.鈥
A small noise escapes the back of Y/N鈥檚 throat. 鈥淭his鈥攚e鈥檝e been drinking, and鈥攊t鈥檚 the alcohol, H. Neither of us is thinking straight.鈥
鈥淭his isn鈥檛 the alcohol talking. 聽I鈥檝e thought about鈥攚hen we鈥檙e in the pool, when we cuddle, when we flirt, I鈥擨 can鈥檛 help it.鈥 Harry closes his eyes for a brief moment, like he鈥檚 collecting himself. 鈥淚 need you. 聽And I think鈥 think you need me too.鈥
鈥淚 do. 聽I need you.鈥 Y/N touches his stubbled jaw with careful fingers. 鈥淏ut we鈥檙e friends. 聽This is going to change that.鈥
鈥淲e don鈥檛 know that.鈥 Harry leans into her touch. 鈥淵ou said before that you wanted someone you鈥檙e comfortable with, something intimate, something breathless. 聽You and I are comfortable, and intimate, and鈥擨 don鈥檛 know. 聽All I know for sure is that I want you.鈥
Y/N isn鈥檛 sure if he means he wants her in a purely physical way or something more, and while she knows she should clarify that, all she can focus on is his voice and the way it鈥檚 going straight to her core.
鈥淚 want you, too.鈥 She says simply.
Harry brings his hand to Y/N鈥檚 hip. 鈥淐an I kiss you?鈥
Y/N nods. 聽She鈥檚 not sure she鈥檚 capable of giving a verbal response.
Harry takes it upon himself to lean closer, his fingertips digging into Y/N鈥檚 skin in a way she adores. He pauses, hovering just above her lips for a moment, as if to give her time to pull away. 聽Instead, Y/N just waits in anticipation, delighting in the feeling of his breath running over her skin.
When he kisses her, Y/N tastes alcohol, mint, and what she swears is her own heart in the back of her throat.
Any previous kisses she鈥檚 shared with Harry have been half kisses, given in teenage games of truth or dare and in a friend鈥檚 parent鈥檚 basement. 聽Those kisses were safe, guarded, and an obligation. 聽This kiss is the exact opposite.
Although it starts chaste, it quickly grows more passionate. 聽Y/N can鈥檛 stop herself from tugging on Harry鈥檚 hair more than she imagines Harry can stop himself from rucking up the hem of her tank top. 聽His fingers dip under the band of her lace bralette as she nips at his lip, tugging slightly, delighted when a strangled sound echoes from the back of his throat.
Within minutes, Y/N鈥檚 allowed Harry to pull her to straddle his lap, his hands grabbing at her hips with a neediness she鈥檚 never seen him exhibit before. 聽Of course, she feels the same way, and she lets her hand run down his chest over and over, using her nails a little more each time. 聽Although there鈥檚 no one around to see, no party to return to, nowhere to go, Y/N wants to leave a mark. 聽She wants anyone who sees his chest to know that he belongs to her.
Harry breaks away from her, lips red, eyes frenzied, and breathing heavy. 鈥淐an I鈥?鈥 His hands tug on the hem of her top, tugging in question.
Y/N lifts her arms in response, letting him pull it off and toss it to the side. 聽Harry moves back in to kiss her again, but she keeps her arms up, giving him a long look.
鈥淵ou鈥檙e not done.鈥 She says simply.
He understands right away, and his fingers find the band of her bralette again. 聽This time, however, he removes it slower, almost as if the removal is ritual itself, and his hands are less frantic when they return to your skin.
Harry looks at Y/Nu with wide eyes, and she understands the meaning in them: this is so much more than just touching, and so much more than two friends using each other for mutual pleasure. 聽With every touch, they further cross a line, and neither of them can stop. 聽
With this realization, Harry鈥檚 movements become more cautious. 聽His hands come to rest on her sides, his thumbs just brushing the side of her breast.
鈥淵ou鈥檙e fine.鈥 Y/N assures him in a soothing voice. 鈥淜eep going.鈥
鈥淎re you fine?鈥 He counters, his voice an equal mix of concern and need.
鈥淗.鈥 Y/N takes his hands in her own and places them over her breasts. 鈥淟ike that. 聽Touch me like that.鈥
Harry sucks in a short breath as she manipulates his hands, showing him how to rub her and touch her. After a few moments, she lets her hands move to his neck, pulling him in for another kiss.
Y/N begins to grind against him, desperate for a bit of friction. 聽Their kisses are soon accented with their moans as they each pull the other closer in lust and need.
Still, underneath the physical desires, there鈥檚 a current running between them. 聽Y/N knows it鈥檚 been there for the last few weeks, humming quietly in the back of her mind, but being here, now, with Harry touching her, it鈥檚 come alive like an electric fence. 聽She can鈥檛 turn it off, and she doesn鈥檛 want to. 聽She doesn鈥檛 want to in the slightest.
Harry begins to kiss down her neck like before, but this time his kisses are anything but chaste. When he reaches her breast, he kisses around them before taking one of her nipples into his mouth.
鈥淥h fuck鈥斺 Y/N arches her back, fingers tangling in his hair to pull him closer. 鈥淗arry鈥︹
He hums against her, and his spare hand rubs her back like he does when they get ready to sleep. 聽Usually, the motion is calming, but right now, Y/N feels anything but calm.
Harry continues until he鈥檚 satisfied with his work, and then he kisses his way to her other breast, wrapping his lips against her other nipple. 聽He spends just as much time on that one, letting his teeth graze it ever so slightly before soothing the action with his tongue.
When he pulls back, there鈥檚 a little line of spit connecting Harry鈥檚 mouth to her nipple, and Y/N whimpers at the sight.
鈥淗鈥︹ She runs her finger through the line before gripping his chin with her thumb and forefinger. 聽The need inside her builds, as does her fondness for the man in front of her. 鈥淕od鈥︹
Harry tweaks her hard nipple with his finger, gentle enough so as not to hurt her, but enough to make a gasp fall from her mouth. 聽He offers no response in the form of words, but the hungry look in his eyes has only increased.
鈥淟et me鈥︹ Y/N climbs off of his lap, gently pushing him to lay back on the bed. 鈥淵eah?鈥
Harry runs a hand through his messy curls, nodding quickly. 鈥淵ou want that?鈥
鈥淵eah.鈥 Y/N nods too, pressing a wet kiss to his swollen lips. 鈥淪o bad. 聽Yeah.鈥
Her hands move to the waistband of his shorts, and Harry lifts his hips off the bed. 聽Y/N tugs down his boxers in the same movement, and tosses both articles of clothing to the side before looking back at him.
Harry鈥檚 cock is just as beautiful as she remembers it being the morning she accidentally walked in on him. Even more so, she thinks, because now he鈥檚 hard, and the head is the most appetizing shade of pink, with drops of precum pearling at the top. 聽When Y/N wraps her hand around his girth, she adores the heat that she feels. 聽
鈥淪o pretty鈥︹ She says the words almost to herself, and strokes him lightly to get used to the feeling of him in her hand. 鈥淚 just want to鈥︹
Y/N leans down and flicks her tongue over his tip, collecting the precum gathered there. 聽In return, a strangled moan leaves Harry鈥檚 throat as his arm moves to cover his eyes for a moment.
Y/N presses a kiss to the head of his cock before she continues licking, reveling in the sounds Harry makes. 聽She had no doubt, with a voice as angelic as his, that his moans and whines and whimpers would be just as beautiful.
When she wraps her lips around the head and sucks, she feels Harry鈥檚 hand move to her hair. 聽She looks up at him without lifting off of his cock, staring him in the eye as she takes more and more of him into her mouth.
鈥淔uck鈥斺 Another moan leaves Harry鈥檚 lips, more strained than the last. 鈥淭hat鈥檚 it鈥︹ He tugs on her hair, but doesn鈥檛 push her down. 聽Even when lost in pleasure, he鈥檚 careful with her.
Y/N loves him for it.
Pacing herself, she takes more and more of him into her mouth until her nose is pressed to the base of his stomach, brushing against his (neatly trimmed) pubic hair. 聽She stays down for just a moment before pulling up completely to breathe, but keeps her hand on him, stroking him slowly.
鈥淵ou look so good.鈥 Harry mutters, running his hands over her hair in a soothing motion. 鈥淚 imagined it, but didn鈥檛 think鈥o much better鈥︹
Y/N moves to push her head back down, but Harry stops her, bringing her up for a kiss instead.
鈥淚 want to taste you, now.鈥 He tells her, laying her down on the pillows. 鈥淚s that alright?鈥
Y/N nods desperately, feeling even more heat rush to her core and pool there. 鈥淢hmm.鈥
Harry kisses his way down her body again, slipping his fingers into the waistband of her shorts. He leaves her panties on as he pulls the shorts down, and lets out a low groan at the sight of her pink Calvin Klein panties, and more specifically, the dark pink spot that鈥檚 apparent on them.
鈥淵ou鈥檙e soaked鈥︹ He presses a kiss to her sensitive inner thigh before brushing a finger over the wet spot.
Y/N jumps a bit, making a sound in the back of her throat. 鈥淗arry!鈥
鈥淪orry.鈥 He kisses her thigh again. 鈥淚鈥檓 sorry. 聽Just relax, yeah? 聽It鈥檚 just me. I got you.鈥
Harry continues to kiss along her inner thighs, moving closer and closer to the thin cloth covering her center. 聽When he presses his first kiss to the fabric, Y/N grasps the sheets in her hands.
鈥淕od鈥︹ She whispers, fists clenched.
Harry reaches up and takes one of her hands, placing it in his hair wordlessly before kissing over her again, his tongue peaking out just a bit.
The torture continues for what feels like forever, with Harry teasing her over the soaked fabric of her panties. 聽Finally, Y/N sighs in relief as she feels his hands grip the fabric, and she lifts her hips eagerly as he tugs the article of clothing down.
The first thing she feels is his hot breath hitting her core, which is enough to make her legs reflexively close with pleasure. 聽Harry鈥檚 hand grips her leg, pushing them back open as he takes in the sight of her dripping cunt before him.
鈥淔uck鈥︹ He inhales deeply, committing her scent to memory. 鈥淵our pussy is so gorgeous.鈥
Y/N whimpers at his words and tugs on his curls. 鈥淧lease, H鈥 need you.鈥
鈥淣eed me?鈥 Harry asks in a husky voice, his finger touching her outer lips just barely.
鈥淵es!鈥 Y/N whines, not caring how she sounds. 鈥淣ever needed anything more鈥︹
Harry runs his finger over her slit, collecting the wetness dripping from her. 聽YN moans loudly at the contact, not fully relieved but grateful for the light touch.
鈥淪o fucking wet.鈥 Harry鈥檚 voice sounds not completely his own. 鈥淔uck, Y/N, how are you so wet?鈥
Y/N feels heat rush to her cheeks, and she mumbles her reply in what鈥檚 almost an embarrassed voice. 鈥淵ou know exactly how.鈥
鈥淒on鈥檛 even know what to do first.鈥 Harry ignores her reply, lost in his own world as he continues stroking her slit. 鈥淛ust want鈥︹
He presses into her without warning, and Y/N arches her back off the bed as Harry鈥檚 finger slips into her cunt. 聽His cold rings touch the top of her entrance as Harry pauses inside her, his eyes heavy with lust.
鈥淎nd so tight.鈥 He moans, biting his lip hard enough to leave a mark. 鈥淥h my God鈥︹
He curves his finger inside her, wanting to feel every inch of her that he can. 聽Y/N continues to whimper above him.
鈥淢ore.鈥 She begs him, pushing back against his finger. 鈥淚 can take more, Harry, please.鈥
Harry easily slips enough finger in, repeating his motion as she pushes back on him. 聽However, the pressure building inside Y/N disappears abruptly as his fingers do, and she鈥檚 just about to get angry at him when she feels his tongue replace his fingers.
鈥淔uck!鈥 She exclaims loudly, her eyes closing as she throws her head back. 鈥淗arry鈥!鈥
Harry moves his tongue in and out of her, loving the taste of her juices in his mouth. 聽He moves further up to her clit, licking and sucking over the sensitive bundle of nerves as Y/N writhes above him.
鈥淭aste so good.鈥 He growls from between her thighs. 鈥淔uck, Y/N鈥ou鈥檙e going to cum for me, yeah?鈥 He asks as he reaches up and grips her hands in his, interlocking their fingers. 鈥淭ell me you鈥檙e going to cum for me.鈥
Another strangled moan leaves Y/N鈥檚 mouth as he speaks. 鈥淚-I鈥檓 so close, Harry. Keep going, please.鈥
鈥淭ell me.鈥 He demands, licking over her clit again. 鈥淭ell me you鈥檙e going to cum for me.鈥
Y/N grinds against his tongue as she grips his hands tighter. 鈥淚鈥檓 going鈥攆uck鈥擨鈥檓 going to cum for you, H. 聽I鈥檓 going鈥斺
Harry sucks hard on her clit, and Y/N throws her head back as an orgasm hits her harder than ever before. 聽Her thighs clench shut, trapping Harry鈥檚 head between them, but he just continues to lap at the juices flowing from her cunt while making the most obscene sounds Y/N has ever heard.
Harry doesn鈥檛 pull back until Y/N unclenches her thighs, and before he does, he presses one last kiss to her clit, making her flinch. 聽
Y/N is so exhausted she can barely open her eyes. 聽Once she does, however, and sees Harry, she feels all the exhaustion fade.
Harry鈥檚 lips are, somehow, even more red than before, and his whole chin is slick with her wetness. 聽He keeps licking his lips, like he can鈥檛 get enough of the taste, and Y/N feels like her whole body is on fire.
鈥淗arry鈥︹ She whispers, squeezing his hand again. 聽She doesn鈥檛 know what else to say.
Harry lifts himself over her body, which is still shaking from her orgasm, and kisses her gently. 聽She can taste herself on his mouth, and she adores it.
鈥淵ou taste so fucking good.鈥 He murmurs, pressing his sweaty forehead against hers. 鈥淟ike candy.鈥
Y/N swallows hard. 鈥淚 haven鈥檛鈥攏o one鈥檚 done that in a long time.鈥
鈥淚鈥檒l be glad to do it again.鈥 Harry replies, brushing her hair back. 鈥淏ut right now鈥ll I want to do is make love to you.鈥 He looks at her with sincere eyes. 鈥淲ill you let me?鈥
The tenderness of him asking almost brings tears to her eyes, and Y/N nods, her hands coming up to cup his rosy cheeks. 鈥淵eah, H. 聽I鈥檓鈥︹ She bites her lip as she realizes the truth of her words. 鈥淚鈥檓 yours. 聽Always.鈥
Harry inhales sharply before kissing her softly, his hands stroking her hair in a comforting fashion again. 鈥淗ow do you want to鈥?鈥
鈥淚 want you on top.鈥 Y/N replies, touching his swallow tattoos. 鈥淚-I want to feel you. 聽Feel your weight. 聽Feel you close.鈥
With a nod, Harry positions himself over her, spreading her legs wide enough that his body can fit between. 聽He holds himself up with one hand and uses the other to guide his cock to Y/N鈥檚 folds, just brushing the head over them. 聽He鈥檚 teasing himself just as much as her.
鈥淗arry鈥︹ Y/N leans her head back at the sensation. 鈥淧lease, H鈥︹
鈥淚 don鈥檛鈥攚ait鈥斺 Harry pauses his movements, and Y/N can see on his face the strength and discipline it takes for him to do so. 鈥淚鈥攁 condom鈥斺
鈥淚鈥檓 clean, and I have an IUD.鈥 Y/N assures him, running her hand along his shoulders. 鈥淎re you?鈥
Harry nods. 鈥淵eah, I am, but鈥攁re you sure?鈥
As Y/N looks into his eyes, the love and concern and want written all over them, she knows she鈥檚 never been more sure of anything in her life. 鈥淚 want to feel you, without anything in between. 聽I鈥斺 She takes a deep breath and presses a kiss to his jaw. 鈥淵eah. 聽I鈥檓 sure.鈥
Harry presses a kiss to her forehead, and the tender action makes Y/N close her eyes as she revels in the feeling. 聽A moment later, Harry moves down again and puts his forehead against hers as he pushes into her.
The moment he enters her, Y/N feels a fullness she鈥檚 never experienced before. 聽Not only is Harry stretching her cunt in a way that feels euphoric, but she feels complete. 聽He鈥檚 as close to her as he鈥檚 ever been, his breath is mingling with hers, his body weight is held over her carefully, and Y/N thinks she could die in the pleasure of this moment happily.
鈥淵/N鈥aby鈥︹ The pet name seems to fall easily from Harry鈥檚 lips as he bottoms out, holding himself still to adjust to the feeling. 鈥淥h my God鈥︹
Y/N digs her fingernails into Harry鈥檚 shoulders, pressing kisses to his lips between gasps for breath. 鈥淢ove, H, please.鈥
Harry begins to thrust his hips, setting a slow but deep pace before gradually speeding up. 聽While part of Y/N wishes he would thrust as fast as he can, a deeper part of her is grateful that Harry is taking his time with her. 聽This feeling, now that she has it, is better than anything she鈥檇 ever felt before, and Y/N doesn鈥檛 want it to end anytime soon.
Harry kisses Y/N again as he moves inside her. 聽Although they鈥檙e as close as they鈥檝e ever been, each of them keeps pulling the other closer. 聽As Harry thrusts deeper, Y/N pulls more of his weight down on her. 聽As Y/N scratches her nails down his back, Harry kisses her jaw. Neither of them can process exactly what they鈥檙e doing, but neither of them can stop. 聽Each touch is tender, each kiss is passionate, and each moment brings them closer together in so many more ways than just physical.
They don鈥檛 speak except for the occasional whisper from Y/N for Harry to move faster, or the occasional moan of Y/N鈥檚 name falling from Harry鈥檚 lips. The only constant sounds in the room are of the slickness between Y/N鈥檚 thighs as Harry moves between them, the sound of his skin meeting hers, both of them panting and moaning, and a few whispers of 鈥減lease鈥 that are barely audible. 聽Despite the lack of speech, however, the two are in constant communication. 聽Kissing, biting, scratching, and squeezing have become the vocabulary of their new language. 聽When Harry looks into Y/N鈥檚 wet eyes, he knows that she feels something running through the very depths of her being. 聽When Y/N feels Harry tuck his head between her neck and her shoulder as he whimpers, she knows that he trusts her to comfort him and hold him there.
Soon, Y/N feels the waves of pleasure begin to build, and she knows that when they finally break, they鈥檒l pull her under. 鈥淗, I鈥攆uck鈥擨鈥斺 She can鈥檛 manage to form the sentence she needs to.
Harry, however, can tell exactly what she鈥檚 going to say. 鈥淧lease.鈥 He pants, adoring how she buries her head into his shoulder. 鈥淧lease, love, cum for me鈥︹ He kisses over the shell of her ear as he thrusts deeper. 鈥淣eed you.鈥
Y/N whimpers, biting down on Harry鈥檚 shoulder as her orgasm rolls over her. Harry feels her walls tighten around his cock, but he doesn鈥檛 slow down, and he works her through her climax until she whines in his ear.
鈥淪o good, H鈥︹ Y/N can barely find the strength to whisper the phrase.
Hearing her sound so fucked out, feeling her cunt squeezing him, and seeing the euphoria on her face is enough to bring Harry to the edge. 聽He slows his thrusts, about to pull out, but Y/N presses on his back to keep him close.
Harry groans as a shiver rolls through his body. 鈥淚鈥檓 about to cum, Y/N鈥斺
鈥淪tay inside me.鈥 She pleads, pressing the pads of her fingers between his shoulder blades. 鈥淚-I鈥檓 yours, Harry, I told you. 聽Yours.鈥
Y/N looks up at him with such trusting and vulnerable eyes that Harry can鈥檛 make himself argue with her. 聽He nods instead, his thrusts increasing in speed again until he feels himself reach the edge of pleasure. 聽
As he freefalls into Y/N, his hips stutter, and he presses deep inside her while her name falls from his lips over and over again. 聽He can鈥檛 think of anything else to say. 聽He can鈥檛 think of anything else worth saying.
When Harry finally manages to pull himself together enough to pull out, Y/N instantly feels the emptiness inside her. 聽She wishes he would stay, but knows that it鈥檚 not practical, and instead just relishes in the feeling of his cum dripping from her entrance. 聽It鈥檚 like he鈥檚 claimed her as his, left a physical mark of himself, and Y/N doesn鈥檛 have the strength to stop herself from loving it.
They lay in silence for a few moments, trying to catch their breath and regain a sense of where they are. 聽Both Harry and Y/N are sweaty, exhausted, and covered in each other in more ways than one. 聽The wrap on Harry鈥檚 tattoo has slipped from his arm. 聽Somewhere in their pleasure, Y/N has lost an earring. 聽And yet, the only thing each of them cares about is looking at the other.
Out of instinct, Harry pulls Y/N鈥檚 shivering body into his, wrapping his arms around her tightly. 聽He can鈥檛 imagine she鈥檚 cold, and Y/N can鈥檛 bring herself to tell him she鈥檚 shivering because of the feeling of being so close to him, but neither of them denies the other of the affectionate gesture.
Y/N loses track of how long they lay there until Harry breaks the silence.
鈥淚鈥斺 His voice cracks, and he clears it quickly before trying again. 鈥淚鈥檒l get you a cloth to鈥攖o clean you up.鈥
Y/N nods, and Harry gently untangles himself from her before going to the bathroom. 聽Y/N can hear the running of water, and turns her head to see what he鈥檚 doing, but when she spots his naked silhouette, she closes her eyes. 聽Despite what they just did, there鈥檚 a shyness in her still when she sees him completely stripped.
Her eyes stay closed, and she only detects his return from feeling his weight return to the bed. 聽He places a gentle hand on her trembling knee, pulling her open ever so slightly.
鈥溾橫 just cleaning you up.鈥 Harry says in a quiet tone. 鈥淚s that okay?鈥
Y/N nods again. 聽She鈥檚 not certain she has enough strength to say anything.
Harry wipes between her legs with a gentle touch, watching how she flinches at the slightest of pressure. 鈥淚鈥檓 sorry.鈥 He says sincerely, kissing her knee tenderly before continuing. 鈥淵ou鈥檙e sensitive, I know. 聽Almost done.鈥
Once he finishes wiping away the cum dripping out of her (his cum dripping out of her), Harry tosses the cloth onto his pile of clothes on the ground, deciding it can be dealt with later. 聽His most pressing concern at the moment is Y/N.
He lays back down on his side so he can face her, and pushes a lock of hair away from her closed eyes.
鈥淵/N.鈥 Harry murmurs, hand resting on her waist carefully. 鈥淭alk to me. Are you okay?鈥
鈥淵eah.鈥 Her voice is rough when she answers, and Harry can hear the echo of her moans in her words. 鈥淚-I鈥檓 fine, H. 聽Just鈥ired.鈥
鈥淒o you鈥︹ Harry bites his lip. 鈥淒o you want to talk about it?鈥
Y/N gives a slight shake of her head. 鈥淢aybe鈥攎aybe tomorrow, yeah?鈥 She does her best to open one eye, but quickly shuts it again when she sees how Harry is looking at her. 鈥淐an鈥檛 right now.鈥
鈥淥kay.鈥 Harry lays his arm over her side as he moves closer. 鈥淭omorrow.鈥
Y/N presses her head into his shoulder and commits the scent of his skin to memory.
The first thing Y/N registers when she wakes up is the feeling of someone touching her hair.
She doesn鈥檛 need to open her eyes to know it鈥檚 Harry. 聽Of course it鈥檚 Harry. 聽It鈥檚 always been Harry. 聽In every way.
Y/N sighs and readjusts her position in bed, moving a bit closer to Harry. 聽She shivers once from the cold, still naked from last night鈥檚 activities, and that鈥檚 the only hint Harry needs before he pulls the sheet up around her more.
鈥淎re you awake?鈥 He asks softly, careful in case she鈥檚 still lost deep in sleep.
Y/N moves her head in a passable nodding motion, and her voice is thick with sleep when she answers. 鈥淢hmm. 聽Barely.鈥
A low chuckle escapes from Harry鈥檚 mouth, and the next thing Y/N feels are his warm lips against her cheek. 鈥淗ow are you feeling?鈥
鈥淎 little hungover. 聽A little sore.鈥 Y/N finally opens her eyes as she speaks, and almost wishes she hadn鈥檛.
Harry鈥檚 hair is a mess from both sex and sleep, messy and wild and haphazardly pushed out of his eyes. His cheeks are flushed, and his neck and chest are covered in marks from both Y/N鈥檚 lips and fingers. 聽She knows that if he turned over, his back would be the same, and it embarrasses her and delights her at the same time. 聽He looks completely fucked and content, and more relaxed than she鈥檚 seen him in ages.
Y/N wonders if she looks the same. 聽If she looks as pretty.
鈥淪orry.鈥 Harry says, his tone a bit sheepish.
鈥淚t鈥檚 not your fault.鈥 Y/N replies, shrugging a bit.
鈥淲ell鈥t is, actually. 聽I made your drinks. 聽And I鈥︹ He trails off, brushing his fingers down her bare hip to her thigh.
鈥淵eah.鈥 Y/N feels her face get warm. 鈥淚 guess it is your fault.鈥
Harry laughs lightly, but it fades away as he looks into her eyes. 鈥淲e, uh鈥e should probably talk about what happened.鈥
Y/N purses her lips. 鈥淵eah. We should.鈥
鈥淪o鈥irst question, I guess.鈥 Harry props his head up on his arm, but keeps running his fingers over Y/N鈥檚 hip gently. 鈥淒o you regret it?鈥
Y/N sits up a bit more in bed, clutching the sheet to her bare chest. 鈥淣o. 聽I don鈥檛. 聽Do you?鈥
鈥淣o.鈥 Harry replies instantly. 鈥淚 don鈥檛 regret it.鈥
鈥淥kay.鈥 Y/N is so aware of Harry鈥檚 eyes on her as she thinks of her question. 鈥淒id鈥id you enjoy it?鈥
A snort falls from Harry鈥檚 mouth, and he shakes his head incredulously. 鈥淐hrist, Y/N, of course I enjoyed it. 聽It felt鈥攜ou felt like heaven.鈥
Y/N flushes at the comment. 鈥淚鈥檝e never鈥鈥檝e always made my partners wear condoms. 聽So that was a first for me.鈥
Harry鈥檚 fingers pause over her hip, but only for a moment. 聽It looks as though he鈥檚 deciding whether or not he should comment on that, but changes his mind at the last moment. 鈥淒id you enjoy it?鈥 He asks instead, echoing your question.
鈥淚 did.鈥
鈥淵ou said you were mine.鈥
Y/N swallows hard. This conversation is less incriminating than making love to him last night, but it seems infinitely more powerful. Probably because they鈥檙e both sober, she thinks.
鈥淭hat鈥斺 She clears her throat. 鈥淭hat鈥檚 not a question.鈥
Harry sighs, but there鈥檚 an endeared smile tugging at the corner of his lips. 鈥淵ou said you were mine. Did you mean that?鈥
Y/N can鈥檛 look him in the eyes, so she looks down instead. 聽Harry鈥檚 hand lies between them, and she intertwines their fingers, playing with his rings as she carefully formulates her answer. 鈥淚鈥檝e鈥擨鈥檝e always been yours, H. 聽Ever since we were kids, I鈥檝e belonged to you.鈥 She runs a finger over his H ring. 鈥淓ven when you were gone.鈥
Harry frowns a bit at the tone of her voice. 鈥淚鈥檝e been yours too, Y/N. 聽I belong to you just as much as you belong to me.鈥
鈥淵ou鈥檝e always been further out of reach.鈥 Y/N pulls her hand from his, until their fingertips are just barely touching. 鈥淎lways just鈥 little out of reach.鈥
Harry intertwines their fingers again. 鈥淚鈥檓 not out of reach. 聽Not right now. 聽And I鈥檝e never鈥攊f you ever called me and said you needed me, I would鈥檝e been on the first flight back home to you. 聽I would鈥檝e dropped everything for you, Y/N. 聽I still would, and I always will.鈥
Tears prick Y/N鈥檚 eyes, and although she hurries to close them, one slips out. 聽Harry catches it on his finger before it can run off her cheek, and when she looks at him again, there鈥檚 a concerned look on his face.
鈥淐鈥檓ere.鈥 Harry mumbles, pulling Y/N into a tight hug. 聽He rubs her back like he always does, and the motion is so comforting that she almost forgets the vulnerable position they鈥檙e both in. 鈥淵ou鈥檙e my girl. 聽You鈥檙e always going to be my girl.鈥 He murmurs in her ear, voice low and soothing. 鈥淎lways. 聽Don鈥檛 you know that?鈥
Y/N nods, not trusting her voice at the moment.
鈥淚f this is too much for you鈥︹ Harry traces his fingers between her shoulder blades. 聽Y/N thinks he鈥檚 tracing words, like they used to as children, but she can鈥檛 tell what words he may be tracing. 鈥淚 understand. We can just鈥攚e can pretend it didn鈥檛 happen.鈥
鈥淚鈥斺 Y/N shakes her head, looking up at Harry. 鈥淚 don鈥檛 want to do that.鈥
鈥淭hen what do you want, Y/N?鈥 Harry asks, his tone as pleading as it was last night. 鈥淎ll I鈥檝e ever tried to do is give you what you want, and usually I鈥檓 pretty good at telling what that is, but right now, I鈥檓 lost. 聽I don鈥檛 want things to go back to how they were, but I don鈥檛鈥擨 can鈥檛 lose you, so just鈥攊f you just tell me what you want, I鈥檒l do it. 聽I鈥檒l make it work. 聽I promise that I won鈥檛 be mad, or hurt, or anything.鈥
Y/N sits up as best she can, her fingers combing through Harry鈥檚 messy curls on reflex, as she always does it when he gets upset. 鈥淚 can鈥檛 pretend that I don鈥檛 want you, H. 聽I do. 聽I need you. 聽I told you that last night.鈥
鈥淏ut you鈥檙e crying.鈥 Harry cups her wet cheek gently, rubbing his thumb along her cheekbone. 鈥淚 hate that.鈥
Y/N leans into his touch. 鈥淚t just feels鈥trange.鈥 She says after a moment. 鈥淎ll of this. 聽I spent so long trying to stop myself from thinking of you like this, and now that I am, I feel like鈥攍ike it鈥檚 wrong.鈥
Harry tugs on his bottom lip with his teeth. 鈥淒oes it feel wrong?鈥
His low voice makes her shiver. 鈥淣o. 聽It feels right. 聽Really right.鈥
鈥淚 feel like鈥︹ Harry鈥檚 eyes flicker between Y/N鈥檚 own eyes and their intertwined hands. 鈥淚 feel like we鈥檙e both dancing around saying it.鈥
Y/N sucks in a breath. 鈥淪aying what?鈥
鈥淪aying鈥︹ Harry leans in and presses a soft kiss to her lips. 鈥淪aying that we鈥檙e in love with each other.鈥
Y/N feels breathless at the words coming from his mouth. 鈥淵ou鈥檙e in love with me?鈥
鈥淎re you not in love with me?鈥 He replies, moving so he鈥檚 leaning over her more. 鈥淲e鈥檝e said I love you so many times before.鈥
鈥淭hat鈥檚 a different kind of love.鈥 Y/N mumbles, touching the chain dangling from Harry鈥檚 neck.
鈥淏ut we were both meaning something different when we were saying it. 聽At least, I was.鈥 Harry inhales deeply, like he鈥檚 centering himself. 鈥淚鈥檝e known鈥or a while, but I鈥檝e felt it for longer than I鈥檝e known it. And I thought that you might鈥︹
鈥淚 think I do.鈥 Y/N whispers. 鈥淏ut saying it feels so鈥攕o permanent. 聽Like we can鈥檛 go back to being friends if it blows up in our faces.鈥
Harry traces a finger down Y/N鈥檚 cheek, her neck, between her breasts, to her side, touching just below her ribs. 鈥淢aybe we can鈥檛. 聽But I don鈥檛 think we鈥檒l want to, Y/N. 聽I think we鈥檙e perfect for each other.鈥
Y/N鈥檚 heart pounds in her chest. 鈥淵eah?鈥
鈥淵eah.鈥 Harry nods. 鈥淭his last month, it鈥檚 been like we鈥檝e been鈥laying house, or something. 聽I鈥檝e loved it. 聽I keep hearing from friends saying that they鈥檙e so sick of the person they鈥檙e living with, so tired of them, but I鈥檝e never felt that way about you, and I don鈥檛 think I ever will. 聽I鈥檒l never get sick of you.鈥
Y/N laughs a bit. 鈥淭hat鈥檚 romantic.鈥
鈥淪hut up.鈥 Harry can鈥檛 help but smile slightly. 鈥淚t is romantic.鈥
鈥淵eah. 聽It is.鈥 Y/N says softly, her hand rubbing over Harry鈥檚 tattooed arm. 鈥淵ou鈥檙e really in love with me?鈥
Harry nods. 鈥淚 am.鈥
鈥淗uh.鈥 Y/N bites her lip. 鈥淪o I guess we鈥檝e been lying to our moms, haven鈥檛 we?鈥
Harry laughs loudly, collapsing on the bed next to Y/N. 鈥淛esus, can you not mention our mums when we鈥檙e naked in bed?鈥
鈥淚鈥檓 just saying! 聽We鈥檝e been saying for years that you鈥檙e not in love with me, and it鈥檚 all been a lie.鈥
鈥淲hat about when they ask if you鈥檙e in love with me?鈥 Harry鈥檚 tone is joking, but there鈥檚 a hint of nervousness in the back of his voice. 鈥淗as that been a lie, too?鈥
Y/N鈥檚 heart pounds as she nods. 鈥淵eah. 聽We鈥檒l have to get them something really good for Mother鈥檚 Day this year to help make up for it.鈥
A grin spreads over Harry鈥檚 face, almost triumphant, as he leans down to kiss her. 鈥淎greed.鈥 He moves to cage himself over Y/N. 鈥淏ut I want to hear you say it.鈥
鈥淪ay what?鈥
鈥淚 want to hear you say that you鈥檙e in love with me.鈥 Harry鈥檚 grin turns into a smirk.
Y/N flushes as she shakes her head. 鈥淵ou say it first.鈥
鈥淚鈥檝e already admitted it!鈥
鈥淪o have I!鈥
鈥淣ot as well as I have!鈥
鈥淥h, so it鈥檚 a competition now?鈥 Y/N scoffs. 鈥淲hat a wonderful start to our relationship.鈥
鈥淚鈥檓 just saying, Y/N, admitting it is the first step to鈥斺
鈥淎re you seriously going to say that to get me to say that I love you?鈥
鈥淛ust鈥斺
鈥淵ou鈥檙e so irritating鈥斺
鈥淚鈥檓 irritating? 聽You鈥斺
鈥淵ou鈥檙e the worst!鈥
鈥淎nd yet you鈥檙e in my bed with no clothes on!鈥
鈥淥kay. 聽Nope. 聽Relationship over.鈥 Y/N pushes Harry off of her and wraps the sheet around herself as she gets out of bed. 鈥淵ou blew it, Styles.鈥
鈥淵/N.鈥 Laughter falls from Harry鈥檚 lips as he leans over the edge of the bed. 鈥淟ove. 聽Come back to bed.鈥
鈥淚 think a minute and thirty-seven seconds may be the record for the world鈥檚 shortest relationship.鈥 Y/N searches her bag for some clean clothes.
鈥淐ome here!鈥
鈥淎nother world record for Harry Styles.鈥 Y/N calls to him without turning around. 鈥淵ou must be so proud鈥斺
Her words are cut off in a shriek as Harry picks her up, throwing her over his shoulder as he brings her back to his bed.
鈥淗arry!鈥 She yells, hitting his arm. 鈥淧ut me down!鈥
Harry tosses her on the bed, gentle enough so as not to hurt her, and cages himself over her sheet-covered body. 聽He鈥檚 still completely bare. 鈥淭ake it back.鈥
Y/N rolls her eyes. 鈥淔ine. We鈥檙e still together. 聽One less record for you.鈥
鈥淕ood. 聽Now鈥︹ Harry brushes a finger over her lips. 鈥淪ay you鈥檙e in love with me.鈥
Y/N鈥檚 laughter fades a bit as the nerves set back in. 鈥淚鈥︹
鈥淧lease, Y/N?鈥 Harry murmurs, leaning down to kiss her neck. 鈥淧lease say it.鈥
鈥淚鈥檓鈥斺 Y/N sucks in a quick breath, and all of her protest leaves her body as she exhales. 鈥淚鈥檓 in love with you, Harry.鈥
She can feel Harry鈥檚 lips forming a grin against her neck. 鈥淵eah?鈥
鈥淵eah.鈥 Y/N tugs on his hair gently, just enough so she can pull his head back to look in his eyes. 鈥淣ow you say it.鈥
鈥淵/N.鈥 Harry says her name like it鈥檚 something precious. 鈥淚鈥檓 in love with you.鈥
A flush of pleasure crawls up Y/N鈥檚 spine at his words, but she does her best to keep her tone light-hearted. 鈥淪o are you calling our moms, or am I?鈥
鈥淚鈥檒l do it.鈥 Harry reaches for his phone on the bedside table. 鈥淎nd I鈥檒l be sure to mention how it took us getting drunk and having sex to realize鈥斺
鈥淗arry!鈥
鈥淒on鈥檛 worry, I鈥檒l tell your mum we used a condom鈥斺
鈥淚鈥檒l kill you, Styles, and I鈥檒l make it look like an accident.鈥 Y/N shoves his shoulder hard.
Harry grins at her. 鈥淣ow that鈥檚 romantic.鈥
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lovecrumbss10 months ago
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Fine Line Posters
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anemonella year ago
Text
munich nights 鈥 harry styles
summary: touring inseparably as best friends and musicians, yours and harry鈥檚 relationship takes a cruel turn in munich.
warnings: smut (oral m recieving)聽
genre: bestfriend!harry, friends to lovers(?), angst, smut
pt 1/? (two聽is here) 聽 聽 聽 聽 word count: 4k
a/n: this is my first time writing in like a year so some feedback would be amazing, pls be kind and show some love to my crumby attempt lol
chapter playlist :D
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harry.
he was sort of your anchor. unspoken, of course, that he had taken such a high profile role in your life. he didn鈥檛 need to know, to know. you were certain it worked in reverse, that you grounded him just like he did for you.
you鈥檙e not sure of the timestamp on the beginning of your friendship, sometime 3 years ago after mindlessly chatting in a shoreditch bar, at the sort of venue you were both cackling over after a couple of overpriced gin and tonics.
鈥渋鈥檓 not sure why i came here, it really isn鈥檛 my scene,鈥 you said after calming your laughter down.
鈥渕e neither. i鈥檓 not all that into 拢18 cocktails made with organic fruit juice,鈥 he jested back, although you felt a hint of sadness in the next, 鈥渋t makes me miss home.鈥
after that you clicked instantly.
you both bonded over being musicians; your styles contrasted entirely though. his band, who you met a few occasions later, were the antithesis to yours. mitch and sarah looked and sounded like they were fresh from a 70鈥檚 pop rock band, whilst your bassist and drummer, both twins, had buzzed heads and black dr martens on 24/7. the differences between you and him didn鈥檛 matter in the slightest. which is why, after 18 months of building the strongest friendship you鈥檇 had in your life, he asked you and your band to come on tour with him.
touring with your best friend and now biggest fan was the single greatest experience of your life. you would admit to the apprehension you first felt about opening for harry as your music wasn鈥檛 exactly in keeping with his genre- you were a little grungier then his soft style. i suppose the opposites between you is what enhanced everything about your relationship, musically and personally. in articles harry was always praised for his effeminate fashion choices, and since gaining some recognition as his opener, the articles were now mentioning how you dressed too, hyping up your more boyish, 鈥榗an鈥檛 be bothered鈥 clothing taste you鈥檇 developed over your years in the band. your shoes were always chunky and platform, your top or bottoms usually oversized and always with the same thick chain around your neck. to some, your style seemed intimidating but it couldn鈥檛 be further from the truth. harry knew that best of all.
3 months into the tour now, you had made it to munich for the 1st night of your european portion of the tour. you and harry were sat next to one another on the plane, sharing an earpod each, playing music from your playlist titled 鈥渉鈥. you hadn鈥檛 been able to sleep on the overnight flight, after reading a particularly disturbing article about harry鈥檚 recent paparazzi shots. 鈥渉arry styles鈥 player ways making a comeback?鈥 it read, and pictured him with a couple models you鈥檇 met in new york together after going out for the night. you couldn鈥檛 place why but the article made you feel sick. you put it down to seeing such a close friend鈥檚 name slandered in the press, and you hoped he hadn鈥檛 read it yet. harry was often disheartened after reading the gossip people like to spread about him, occasionally involving you as well.
鈥測ou seem very deep in thought.鈥 harry鈥檚 morning voice could be heard over the sound of steely dan in your ears. turning to him, one of his eye鈥檚 peering at you, you reply, 鈥渘ot really- just thinking about the set list.鈥
鈥測ou need to switch off your work brain sometimes,鈥 he grins up at you, 鈥渉ave a little more fun! munich will be great, lots of beer to try.鈥
鈥渙f course that鈥檚 what you look forward to most. you know munich is filled with some beautiful architecture and history right?鈥
鈥渢hat鈥檚 great and all, but you know what else they have?鈥 harry questions you and you shake your head.
鈥渙ktoberfest.鈥
-
you arrived at your airbnb not long after- harry鈥檚 band and yours all preferred staying in a large house or apartment then some posh hotel that didn鈥檛 feel quite as welcoming. harry鈥檚 manager picked the place out, opting for a villa that sleeps 10 people, filled to the brim with oak panelling and a big fire place in the centre of the room. there was a hot tub outside that would probably never be used in your short stay there. the kitchen had a large island in the middle and a big aga keeping the place warm in the late september weather. his manager really outdid herself this time.
鈥渢his is place is so beautiful,鈥 you still weren鈥檛 over all of the beautiful places this tour had taken you, the short time you鈥檇 been travelling had been a sensory overload.
鈥測ou鈥檒l really like munich, y/n,鈥 harry said yawning, grabbing both your shoulders from behind. his touch took your mind back to the article.
鈥渉arry,鈥 you started, reluctantly turning to face him, 鈥渋 know it鈥檚 none of my business who you, you know- fuck, but i was just wondering what happened with those models after i left?鈥 harry鈥檚 calm expression never faltered as he answered, 鈥渕e and camila kissed in the taxi but then i went back to the hotel. why?鈥 you didn鈥檛 have the strength to answer honestly, and tell him it was because the thought of him having a threesome with two supermodels made you physically wretch, but you felt an obligation to give him a somewhat truthful answer.
鈥渋 saw an article about it, the paps caught a glimpse of it,鈥 you white-lied. if you were going to be honest with yourself, the reason him with people like camila and gina bothered you so much is because of the way you compared yourself to them. you were overall confident, you were proud of your style and 鈥済ives no fucks鈥 attitude you鈥檇 built up over the years, but these were literal models. women who were paid, like paid a lot, because they were beautiful. harry鈥檚 dating history has had a lot of women you could never measure up to be as good as and that was a real confidence breaker.
鈥渨ell anyway, are you ready for tonight鈥檚 show? we were thinking it would be cool if you guys came on with us and...鈥
-
harry, as per usual, performed with all of his heart and soul and yet again amazed you. he had been doing this for three months, playing at least three shows a week and his energy levels were still unmatchable. you were back in your dressing room, taking off your stage clothes and putting on an almost identical outfit, wiping the sweat off your brow and upper lip. the monitor in your room played harry鈥檚 set, and you had to find any way you could to distract yourself from his performance before you ended up fantasising about the way his sweaty curls cling to his neck and how you wished he was sweating like that just for you, for an entirely different reason.
鈥渢hank you so much munich!鈥 you hear harry鈥檚 accent through the small tv, and look up to see him panting and grinning, before running off stage. you had no idea why, but tonight there was a small amount of nervousness about you. since reading the article, you鈥檝e had to address the gnawing idea that you could possibly have feelings for harry that were more than just your deep set friendship. would you act differently about the man you loved more than anyone in this world? you didn鈥檛 want things to change- they were perfect with him. he鈥檇 jest with you when you became too much of a perfectionist about your latest song, telling you to stop thinking so hard or you鈥檒l have an aneurysm. if people commented on his style or yours, he鈥檇 laugh it off and tell everyone he鈥檚 鈥渢he woman in the relationship鈥 sarcastically, and you鈥檇 be in awe at how he essentially said a huge 鈥渇uck you鈥 to gender norms. he made you comfortable being you and you coveted his ability to be so happy being him. the thought of this bond being broken frightened you to your core. the knock at your door was a good signal for your thoughts to end.
鈥測ou coming y/n?鈥 the group of you were all headed to a german beer bar, since harry was so eager to try the world famous pilsner. finding a large lounge space with sofas inside the bar, you all sat and ordered a round, celebrating a good night鈥檚 work.
鈥渢o the first night in europe,鈥 you toasted, 鈥渃heers!鈥 all your glasses clinked together and the nervous feeling started to fade finally. sat next to harry, you discussed the tour so far, he told a story about being in one direction and it reminded you of a hilarious story from when you were 15, when you used to listen to emo music and swore how much you hated one direction, and they all laughed at the irony. if you had told your 15 year old self this was where you鈥檇 be at 21, you鈥檇 have snorted and laughed till you cried. but life works out in strange ways and you wouldn鈥檛 change it for a second. a few drinks in and any of those nervous feelings about what harry was to you had evaporated like alcohol till you eventually had to remind yourself that whilst your hand was on harry鈥檚 knee, it meant nothing. and the way he leans forward to you as he laughed at your not-so-funny joke. but those reminders were getting weaker the more his touch started to linger after he went to go and grab his pint the same time you did.
鈥渨e really must stop meeting like this,鈥 he jokes as your hand rubs against his for the 50th time that might and you laugh at him because your afraid if you don鈥檛 play it off as a joke you鈥檒l lean over and kiss him. you find yourself in need of a distraction from his low buttoned shirt and endless black ink drawn across his chest that you can see in high definition when your this close to him.
鈥渋鈥檓 going to get another round,鈥 you exclaim dramatically, telling yourself more than the rest of the group. making your way over to the bar, you can feel harry鈥檚 vision bearing into your back as you lean against the counter to get service.
鈥渁nother round of pilsners on the table鈥檚 tab please,鈥 you ask as soberly as you can. you鈥檙e not off your face yet, but the alcohol is definitely present, surrounding the corners of your vision.
鈥渋鈥檇 rather by you a drink.鈥 a slightly german accent crowds your ears and you look over to see a man, not all that different to some of the guys in harry鈥檚 band, smirking at you.
nervous, you reply, 鈥渘o you don鈥檛 need to do that we have a tab here.鈥
鈥渋 insist.鈥 afraid to be impolite you quietly thank him, and turn back to the bar. you can鈥檛 even think of chatting to guy at a bar whilst the man you love is sat so close by. even though it鈥檚 not returned, the pain of giving him up to flirt with a stranger is too much to bare.
鈥渟o what brings you to a local鈥檚 bar like this one?鈥
鈥渕e and my friends are working here for the night.鈥
鈥渏ust here for the night? such a shame,鈥 his smile, although attempting to seem unthreatening, is making you uncomfortable. the bartender seems to be taking forever with your order.
鈥渋鈥檓 staying in a hotel a few minutes away, come and join me and their bar for a real drink?鈥 your heart was pounding. you rarely got hit on so you were a little out of practice on how to deal with persistent assholes like these ones.
鈥渋 can show you how the germans like to do it.鈥 that was it- he鈥檇 gone too far and you were so embarrassed by this point you were too humiliated to even reply to him. your neck was getting hotter and you could feel your cheeks reddening.
鈥測ou okay?鈥 harry鈥檚 voice took you out of your panic-stricken state, 鈥測ou were taking a while.鈥
turning to harry and preparing to tell him how this man won鈥檛 get the message, the german creep pipes up, 鈥渟he鈥檚 fine mate. we were just discussing a date.鈥
鈥渓isten mate, i suggest you back off. alright?鈥 harry grabbed your hand, tightly, and guided you out of the bar.
鈥渉arry where are we going?鈥 you could barely comprehend what had happened in the last five minutes to even realise he was hailing a taxi.
鈥渂ack to the house. i鈥檒l text the others.鈥
鈥渉arry i鈥檓 fine honestly it鈥檚 no-鈥
鈥渨ho said i was fine? i wanted to leave and i thought maybe you did too.鈥 he was angry, which wasn鈥檛 something you saw in harry often. he was a happy guy, and optimistic about most things in life.
鈥渋s this because of that guy?鈥
鈥渙f course it is y/n.鈥
鈥渋鈥檓 sorry i didn鈥檛 realise he鈥檇 be an assho-鈥
鈥渨hy鈥檙e you apologising?鈥
this shut you up. you didn鈥檛 know why. this wasn鈥檛 the first time a guy had been slightly predatory towards you and you doubted it would be the last. after the first couple times your in situations like this you tend to see yourself as the problem and not the guys doing it.
鈥渋 don鈥檛 know, harry.鈥 you climbed into the cab together and harry gave them the address, seeming somewhat cooled off from earlier. your head was buzzing from the alcohol and the fact that harry had essentially rescued you from what could have been a scary situation.
鈥渉arry?鈥
鈥測eah, y/n?鈥
鈥渨hy did you kiss camila?鈥 alcohol had made you more outspoken and you asked the question that had been driving your nervous energy all night.
鈥渨hy are you asking?鈥
a little more honestly then last time, you answered, 鈥渋鈥檓 just curious.鈥 harry shifted in his chair, slightly unnerved by the question. his whole demeanour had shifted entirely from earlier. he was close and warm with you, the friend you鈥檇 become addicted to being with. now he was closed off and moody- a rare sight for anyone who knew him well. you could have picked a better time to ask the question, of course, but you had to know. you had other questions too, like why he was so angry right now, and why did he care that i was chatting with a guy at the bar, even if he was a creep.
鈥渂ecause she wanted to kiss me and i wanted to kiss her. the same reason most humans kiss,鈥 there was a slight element of humour back in his voice now.
鈥渁nd that was it?鈥
鈥測ep.鈥
鈥渉mm.鈥 you tried to ponder this, but your attention span was limited when you were this inebriated. your thought process had quickly moved from harry鈥檚 sex life to harry in general and his outfit of the evening- a personal favourite. he鈥檇 worn white cream trousers with a vest top and an unbuttoned short sleeve shirt, along with the necklace you鈥檇 given him last christmas. you could see his two swallows peaking from the straps of his wife beater and your mind wandered to the thought of having your mouth against them. against all his tattoos, individually placing a kiss on each and everyone that you had grown to fall in love with.
you remembered the memory of harry coming with you to get your largest tattoo, 聽a greek statue on your upper arm.
鈥渉arry you know this isn鈥檛 the first one i鈥檝e gotten?鈥 you laugh at how hard he was clutching your hand in the chair next to your seat.
鈥渋 know but i鈥檓 so excited for you. i want you to know i鈥檒l be sat here the whole time to hold your hand,鈥 he squeezes your hand to emphasise his point.
鈥渉arry i鈥檓 getting another tattoo not going into life-altering surgery.鈥
but inside, you were squealing at his words.
鈥測/n?鈥
harry鈥檚 less chipper current voice took you out of your memory and back to the cab in munich.
鈥測ou鈥檝e been staring at my chest for a couple minutes,鈥 his brows were furrowed as he studied your face.
鈥渋 want to lick it.鈥 if someone had asked you why you answered with that, you genuinely couldn鈥檛 give them a good answer. alcohol didn鈥檛 do much to you, except allow you to have fun, and lose any sense of a filter. now was a perfect example of the effects. harry鈥檚 eyes widened at your candour- and so did yours. his calm expression only faltered for a few seconds though, before it returned to his neutral, warm face.
鈥渨hat else?鈥
鈥渋-uh- what?鈥
鈥渨hat else were you thinking about?鈥 your heart was beating so loudly you were sure harry could feel it across in his seat. why was harry asking this? you didn鈥檛 want him to know about your thoughts- they were far too embarrassing and far too private.
鈥渋 was thinking about all your tattoos,鈥 you confessed.
鈥渋 was thinking about yours too.鈥 you thought about all of your tattoos and remembered the dog rose you had on the back of your thigh, as well as the koi carp on your hip bone.
鈥渨hich ones?鈥
鈥渢he flowers and the fish.鈥 you gulped, knowing he was thinking of your most risqu茅 tattoos.
harry, unusually, was completely serious as he said, 鈥渋 thought about licking yours too.鈥 you didn鈥檛 know where you stood with harry now. you were sat in a taxi, having the conversation with him that you thought would never happen. he wants you the same way you want him. he may not want you the same way a nagging voice told you. he could just be looking for an easy fuck, and you thought to yourself that even if that was all he wanted, you鈥檇 still give yourself to him.
鈥渉arry-鈥
鈥渕aybe we shouldn鈥檛 talk anymore, yeah?鈥 you felt like you could cry- how could he not want to talk, and you were on tour together? this was the most gut wrenching feeling to have him tell you not to talk anymore. harry studied your face as you lip began to quiver, 鈥渏esus y/n i meant about the current conversation. of course i want to keep talking to you, i love you- you know, like a friend.鈥
鈥渓ike a friend?鈥 you couldn鈥檛 ever begin to describe how your heart felt like it fell to the pit of your stomach whilst the acid slowly burnt it away. friends is it. harry isn鈥檛 yours to have and he never will be, he just had to remind you in words of this.
鈥渨ell we鈥檙e both a little drunk and clearly turned on- maybe just this once it could be more than friends? just for tonight, i mean?鈥 harry鈥檚 clear green eyes didn鈥檛 stop looking into yours, and he seemed, i鈥檓 not sure, hopeful? as if on cue, the taxi took you back to your villa which was warmly lit from inside and you felt a nervous excitement crawl up your arms and legs at what could possibly come next. harry gave the driver the cash and you dashed quickly to the door of the house, the cool september air cutting through you both dressed inappropriately for the time of year. it dawned on you that your outfit- a big vintage men鈥檚 shirt with your oldest and favourite pair of dr martens with sheer tights- wasn鈥檛 the wisest choice. harry fumbled with unlocking the door and opened it to find the fire lit and the lights dimmed. it was more romantic than either of you would ever mention out loud but it felt like the house was routing for you. you weren鈥檛 sure where harry wanted this to go next, the air beginning to stiffen and feel awkward.
turning to face him, you started, 鈥渉arry i-鈥 his lips met yours in an instance and any of the awkwardness left in the room had been dissolved by harry鈥檚 soft kiss. he tasted good, despite the beer you鈥檇 both been drinking and had you not been intoxicated by the pilsner and harry鈥檚 gentle touch, you鈥檇 probably care about things like breath. harry grabbed you by the shoulders, much like he did earlier that same day, and guided you into the room further, finding the large sofa and pushing you onto it. falling back, you glanced up at his towering figure. harry was already tall, but his powerful presence added a less literal height to him, and his shadow looked over you. you couldn鈥檛 help but stare at him as he shrugged his shirt off his shoulders, exposing some of your favourite tattoos of his. you got to your knees so that you were closer to his body and you finally relaxed in his presence, touching all the places you鈥檇 dreamed about. your hands raked up his torso to his chest and his head leant down to kiss you again. his lips were perfect and seemed made to be against yours so tightly, and made for the crook of your neck as well as they kissed and sucked there too. the fire in the corner of your eyes illuminated the small amount of gold in harry鈥檚 hair and he looked as angelic as he always did in your dreams.
鈥渁m i better than him?鈥 harry murmured against your neck. the question caught you off guard. he鈥檇 only known one other person you鈥檇 had a sexual relationship with since you two became friends and that was a sound tech from one of his old touring groups that you had a small fling with. him and harry never got along and harry even accused him of purposely messing his sound up during a performance once. harry has walked in on you giving him head in your dressing room once and it was incredibly awkward but you both moved past it.
鈥渨ho are you talking about?鈥
鈥測ou know, that arsehole sound tech from the american tour. do i kiss you better than him?鈥 you could hear the layers to his voice- he was asking with a confidence that you felt straight in your core, but there was another layer to it- insecurity.
鈥済od yes,鈥 you gushed, he had to at least know how he physically made you feel even if you can鈥檛 admit your feelings, 鈥測ou kiss far better then he ever could.鈥
an idea came into your head at this, 鈥渋n fact, i bet you鈥檒l feel better in my mouth then he did.鈥 harry jaw slacks slightly and you give him a shy smile. talking like this wasn鈥檛 something you ever tried when you were having sex, but harry made you want to be honest. it was the closest you could get to confessing your love to him, and you鈥檇 take what you could get from harry right now. stunned into silence, you continue to undress harry, removing his vest to expose his lean stomach and small trail of hair from his belly button, that you kissed all the way down. he let out a sharp breath as soon as you got to the top of his pubic bone, and you finally noticed just how hard harry already was. with a little fascination, you dared to take it to the next level and cupped his length through his trousers, causing harry to groan at the contact. he felt big in your small hand, you couldn鈥檛 wait to reveal him, impatiently struggling with his zipper.
鈥渨oah, y/n, slow down,鈥 harry puts a finger under your chin and you look up under your lash at him, knelt below him. his smile is a classic harry smile and for a brief second this feels like more than a casual fuck.
鈥測ou鈥檙e still wearing too much clothing.鈥 harry bends slightly to get to the bottom of your shirt and speedily pulls it over your head, revealing your black cotton bralet and tights. harry鈥檚 mouth watered at the sight of you in nothing but your underwear and boots, your long hair falling in messy waves around your minimally tattooed arms. your sure your black eyeliner is smudged and your gloss practically jin existent but harry鈥檚 eyes make you feel like he wants nothing more then to fuck you.
鈥渢hat鈥檚 much better,鈥 he smiles again at you, and you take that as a good cue to continue on his member. eagerly, your hands go straight back to his flies, rapidly undoing them and letting his loose fit trousers fall from his hips, exposing his form fitted boxers and you get a much better idea of just how big harry鈥檚 cock really was. without realising you mumble, 鈥渋 want you in my mouth so bad,鈥 under your breath.
鈥渇uck say that again.鈥
looking under your lashes again, you repeat, 鈥渋 want your cock in my mouth so bad.鈥 harry groans as his eyes roll back, his words almost being enough without your touch. but your hand still went back to his dick, pulling it out from the restraint of his boxers. it was thick and bigger then you had been with before. without missing a beat, your hand pumped him a few times, and his hips reacted instantly. as if beckoning for your lips to surround his cock, his hips thrust towards you again, and you obliged, licking and then parting your wetted lips for the head of his dick. the pre-cum touched your tongue and it urged you to take more of him further, swiping your tongue on the underside as you push more in. harry moans, gripping your scruffy hair in his large hand, and had to restrain from pushing your mouth around his whole length. as your mouth got acquainted with him, you started to move up and down the length, as harry鈥檚 moans got higher and louder.
鈥測/n your mouth is fucking magic.鈥 the praise went straight to your clit and your underwear was dampening at the knowledge of the dirty things your mouth was doing.
鈥渃an you- fuck- can you grab my balls?鈥 you responded immediately and cupped them lightly whilst continuing to bob your head on his cock.
鈥渄idn鈥檛 know you could you use your mouth for such dirty things, y/n. do i fill you better then he did?鈥漢is jealousy fuelled you to go even quicker, this time switching up to concentrating on his swollen head, your tongue lapping against it feverishly, whilst your hand pumped the rest of him. the combination of your hand and mouth was enough to drive harry insane.
鈥測ou do so good y/n, i鈥檓 gonna cum soon okay?鈥 you release him from your mouth, and keep stroking him, eager for him to orgasm. you couldn鈥檛 describe the desperation you had to see the way he looked as he climaxed. if you were to die after this, you knew you would die happy, if only to have seen harry in that state of euphoria that only you could bring him to.
鈥渇uck y/n i鈥檓 gonna cum,鈥 harry pants, his thighs tensing and his eyes glazing over. you aim him over your chest and feel his load fall all over your breasts, soaking your bralet as he lets out a breathy moan. his breathes are loud and aside from the fire crackling are the only noise filling the space of the living room. you let his now soft cock go and fall back onto the sofa, too tired to think about all of what just happened, the only thought on your mind is of harry鈥檚 moans on repeat. your chest is sticky but you鈥檙e too exhausted to care. harry has slowly crept over to sit next to you on the sofa, and you鈥檙e unspokenly thankful he hasn鈥檛 distanced himself afterwards.
鈥渋 need to clean you up.鈥 harry disappears as quickly as he arrived and comes back with a warm flannel. wiping your chest, you watch his face as his brows furrow delicately on his forehead and his mouth is slightly crooked in concentration. you loved every single portion of his face, and suddenly it meant something different. you had seen his face at it鈥檚 most real and vulnerable and you had that memory forever.
unfortunately moments like the one you and harry had finally shared don鈥檛 last forever, and once harry鈥檚 done wiping your 聽breasts off, he leaves a kiss on your forehead, grabs his clothes and leaves you on the sofa.
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