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#Finrod is so upset with me now XD
legolasgoldy · 7 years
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Nightmare for @minstrelmaglor Im so sorry i guess we like pain a little too much X’D
Don’t sleep. Don’t sleep. Don’t. 
Makalaure had fought against rest with his entire being until he had became so weak he trembled, feeling as if his very bones sagged. Maedhros had carried him to bed, and now there he lay still fighting giving in despite how his body ached for sleep. His eyes became bleary, lined with dark circles and his body still, unable to go without any longer, slipping into the darkness he dreaded so.
Nothingness, not a sound apart from the beating of his heart pounding in his ears. His eyes widened at the scene, fearing what he he may see if he moved forward. It was Tirion, his home, empty, not even a dog wandered in the streets. Doors stood open on every building as if it were simply abandoned in an instant. Slowly, he stepped backward to escape, once, twice, once more quicker than the last. Something wasnt right.  His back bumped into something with a thud, someone, and he spun around with a fright.
All at once darkness ascended and his eyes squinted from the harshness of the lit torches, pupils both widening and shrinking in confusion trying to block out the light. But wait..voices. His father’s, his brother’s, and... his own! His mouth was moving, and his arm was raised, firelight shining red on the sword he held up.
No. No.. No....
Kano’s eyes stared wide eyed to the crowd before him, eyes adjusting to see those he knew.. his family... His mother’s expression of horror lit by the flames. Ammë! Ammë!! The call wouldnt leave his lips no matter how hard he tried, and behind her he could see Finrod being held back by Turgon, a like expression upon his lovers features. Findo!! They were afraid, they all were. No, No! I dont want it! Not a sound left his lips, and he tried once more to refuse the oath, his shriek filling the air. I DONT WANT IT!! He willed his arm to toss the sword away, closing his eyes tightly as all went eerily silent.
The sound of the sword hitting the ground was expected... but it never came to his ears. Breathes exhaled shakily from him, and for a moment that was all he could hear until another sound joined him. Choking...a desperate gulping on something wet.. as if choking on water. Makalaure’s eyes barely opened, gazing down to see two pair of feet. His own, and someone standing in front of him. Then.. he suddenly realized.. he had never released the sword, somehow it was still in his hand. His entire body froze, eyes trailing up the stream of red on the elf’s clothes to where the sword was plunged into them. His eyes met theirs, a Teleri elf he knew, blood staining their lips as the light left their eyes. They fell then, back from the sword that remained clutched in the minstrels hand in shock. The feel of blade grating against bone traveled to his hand before he could recoil, and he at last cast the sword away, letting out a blood curdling cry of horror.
He rushed backward, stumbling on other bodies, scrambling away frantically wiping his hands on his tunic in vain as it too was soaked with red. The more he struggled, the more he felt the warm puddles of liquid that stained the earth among the dead. Seeping into the knees of his trousers, his hands sinking into the pools in desperate attempts to catch himself. Screams intermixed with his own filled his ears so harshly he could have sworn they bled.
In a cold sweat he jumped awake from his bed, gasping for breath as if he’d been drowning. Makalaure sobbed loudly and peered through flooded eyes to the ceiling of his room. The dream could have been worse..that was true.. but that hardly said much considering..He trembled helplessly without any will to move less it be onto side, until his obscured sight took notice of a familiar figure standing in the doorway. 
“Another nightmare?” he was asked, and had he been in his right mind he would have payed more attention to the voice itself.. but as it was, he gave no reply, simply letting it slip past him, too consumed by grief.
The redhead didnt budge, looming in the doorway with his arms crossed, “ What was it this time?” and was still given no answer, “ Alqualondë?”
It was then that Kanafinwë noticed a change, and began thinking of what exactly he heard that was different. It was his brothers voice, but not as it usually was when he came to comfort him let alone the context he would use. This was..cold..flat...blank. Hugging his arms close to his chest to hold himself together, as if he would shake clean apart if he did not, his eyes turned to his brother’s direction. “ M-Maitimo..” he pleaded to him, pitifully wishing for his elder brother’s embrace and feared his mind was playing tricks on him.
However, his plea was ignored, the shadow of Maedhros ever looming, “ It’s your fault.”
Amid his tears, those words were like a punch to the gut without warning, and he struggled to believe what he just heard. “ W-What..”
“ The nightmares. Everything.” there was a pause as if observing reaction, ” You could have refused. Tried to talk Atya out of it, but you said nothing. You  cast the flames onto the ships.”  the last words seemed to echo harshly through Makalaure’s ears and he covered his head.
“I d-didnt kn-..” the weight of his guilt made his body feel so heavy against his bed, as if he was being crushed, his chest aching with heartbreak and grief. Had his brother turned against him too? If he had, had he himself drove him there? It didnt matter, he knew it was true, every bit, and he choked on sobs.
“ You forsook our brother just as you forsook me!” The voice finally became raised, harsh and cutting to the ears, “ Our cousin had to cross the ice, thirty years it took him, and when he arrived did he wait? Did Fingon the Valiant hesitate to come for me? In that thirty years what did you do? WHAT. DID. YOU. DO.”  it no longer sounded like Maitimo, it was like thunder clapping, as if one of the Valar themselves were angry.
“S-Stop!!” Maglor cried out feeling the pain of guilt in his very bones, and before he had known he worked himself to the edge of the bed, he fell backwards and hit the floor with a thud.
Warm stone was beneath his palms, unlike the usual cold expected when first touching the floor out of bed. In fact, it was not his floor at all. The shock of it stifled his sobs as panic instilled and he clamored to his knees to find everything gone. Warmth of firelight shown from the archway just ahead illuminating only a small portion of the empty chamber he was in. Maitimo? Everything was gone..Where was he?
In the silence, a rumbling rose from the hall. Primal like a beast, and not just one, but many. Snapping at each other and claws against stone as if fighting over their fair shares. What horrid place was this. Minimal lighting could not hide the whites of his eyes as he gazed ahead fearing the noises in which he heard. It was not the creatures he feared, but their purpose. Yet deep inside of himself something compelled him to look.. Perhaps it was a familiar smell in the air that caused his heart to yearn to prove himself wrong. Not knowing which he feared most, to look or to ignore.
Slowly he edged forward on his hands and knees unable to catch his breath that left him in short pants. The minstrels hand shakily grasped at the arches frame, no strength left in him to hold onto it firmly as he leaned outward, eyes unblinking in anticipation praying to Eru that he was wrong.
Wolves, greedy and hungry wolves tearing away at something, and it did not take the sight of it for his heart to know. Kanafinwe’s entire being froze, his eyes widening in terror so greatly hot tears ran to his chin effortlessly. With the movement of one of the beasts to the side, he saw it. The golden hair meshed with the light of Laurelin...and the beautiful face he had placed many a kiss upon... now lifeless. Those once shining green eyes now clouded and staring in his direction but not seeing. 
Silent pain ran through Makalaure unlike any other, his eyebrows furrowing in grief, still not a breath yet uttered. The sound of the skilled hands of his beloved broken between teeth shattering his very soul.
In that moment he did not have to wonder how his father perished the way he had for now he himself felt as if he would explode... And apart of him wanted to.
He did not remember how he had woken, all he knew were screams, screams that woke everyone as Maedhros cradled him. Any whispers of comfort went unheard well into dawn, and the emptiness within him grew ever deeper, wishing he had went up in flames.
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legolasgoldy · 7 years
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🌙 and ⚡️?? 😊
 Emotions                        
Send me one and I’ll tell you about my muse when they’re…
// yASSS Thank you!!!! :D these are some of the best ones too omg * rubs hands together* Headcanon time XD @justadutchperson  a little longer so its under a keep reading! :3//
⚡️ ANGRY
Ohh this is a hard one, he is so rarely angry XD I cant really pinpoint a time when he was truly angry as an example aside from the well known killing a werewolf moment, but Im not going to consider that as just anger, that moment was soo much more than that, it was desperation, defense, love, anger, and so many other things. So Im not going to use that as an example so instead of having an example im going to focus on in general how he would act if angry.  Finrod is very polite, very gentlemanly, and because of this he is always very civil. When he is angry depending on the situation he will politely say nothing, or politely tell the person who had angered him to stop/leave/or that they were being rude. The most likely case of him being angry is when someone is being rude to someone he cares for rather than himself. And if they continue to be rude after Finrod politely told them to back off, he may raise his voice and ask again. If they STILL dont back off he wont hesitate to fire off some insults, in good taste of course but hes not afraid to absolutely destroy them verbally XD
🌙 EXHAUSTED
Well, as an elf, naturally he rarely gets exhausted but when he is there is a difference in how he acts depending on the level and type of exhaustion. I’ll start from least and go to most ;D
As a youngish elf ( in his hundreds) in Valinor the only type of bad exhaustion was emotional exhaustion. After he and Maglor had become lovers, all was good and wonderful for a while but they met in secret in hopes one day it would be different. But Maglor did eventually marry someone else to keep Finrod safe, which caused Finrod extreme distress. He went a whole elven week without much rest and was physically sick for the first several days after he found out about the arrangement due to the emotional distress he was experiencing. That was the first time he ever was truly exhausted and heartbroken.
( In the ask you liked from me earlier does explain why hes upset later on after the wedding tho, here & here. But what im talking about right now is after him initially finding out, It would take far too long to fully explain in the ask haha)
BUT the things that happened in Valinor seem so small after everything that happens later on after the flight of the Noldor. When in the Helcaraxe he and everyone there went through absolute brutal exhaustion, unlike any other. Finrod took it upon himself to help and care for everyone he could. Not just his family but as many others as he could as well. He wore himself thin, going weeks on end without more than a few hours rest because he couldnt bring himself to sleep. If he slept all he saw were nightmares of the worst kind, of those he loved dying or leaving him. It in turn kept him from rest even stronger in fear that he would wake up to find someone dear to him had frozen in the night. After a while his shivering from the cold turned into shaking in exhaustion and no one could tell at first, it was when he had began dragging his feet and kicking up snow when he walked that everyone began to catch on. Eventually he collapsed in front of everyone after gathering supplies one day. After that he forced himself to sleep at night, not for himself but for those he needed to help.
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