#Flo from progressive | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pookha · 9 months

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Speed dating, slow burning

A Phineas and Ferb fanfiction. Rated T.

Doctor Doofenshmirtz/Flo from Progressive, Crack taken Seriously

Heinz thinks it's just going to be another disastrous night of speed dating, but he meets Flo and they start a whirlwind romance that takes them to different cities and takes each of them out of their self-doubt and into a new love.

This came about because my wife mentioned once that it would be funny because he was always mistaken for a pharmacist and Flo had commercials where she was mistaken for a baker.

The bell rang and the lady sitting across from Dr Heinz Doofenshmirtz got up and moved to the next table. Heinz watched her depart and sighed. He knew neither of them would be marking the other as a match. A few seconds later, a dark-haired woman with a retro hairstyle tied back with a blue ribbon sat down across from him. Her white button up shirt had a nametag on it that read, ‘Flo’ and another button that read ‘I Love Insurance.’

“I’m Heinz,” he said and held out his hand. Flo smiled widely, showing very white straight teeth.

“Flo,” she said and took his hand. They shook briefly.

“So, you’re an evil scientist?” she asked with legitimate curiosity.

“ Ex- evil scientist: I’m just a scientist now.” He laughed.

“Oh, what made you change?” she asked.

“It’s a very long story that involves my nemesis, now my best friend, but we don’t have time for a long backstory now.” He waved his hand and some chorus dancers that had been lurking in the shadows of the bar moved back from the table to their hiding spaces. Flo didn’t notice them approaching or Heinz dismissing them.

“Most people think I’m a pharmacist,” he said and she smiled.

“Mara told me about you on the last break.” She pointed at a woman sitting at a table across from a handsome man.

“Huh, maybe she’ll hit it off with him; we didn’t vibe at all.” Heinz laughed again.

“Yeah, she’s a bit snarky and it’s not for everyone.”

“So, you sell insurance.”

“Yeah. Most people mistake me for a baker, especially when I have my apron on.” She grinned.

“Well, the button is a giveaway…also, Mara told me what she did and that you were with her.”

“What brings you to Danville?” he asked after a very short pause.

“We’re here for an insurance conference and then we’re going to film a commercial. I started off as a cashier at our virtual store and now I’m a spokesperson who goes from place to place and gives talks. I’m also in the television commercials.”

“It sounds lonely,” Heinz said before he thought.

“Sorry, I overstepped,” he said.

“Nah, it is,” she replied and thought for a second.

“It’s hard to make a connection when you’re always on the move. I think that’s why Mara and I came out tonight.” She sighed.

“How about you?” she asked.

“Well, I’m divorced and have a teenage daughter…I guess technically she’s an adult now, but she’s staying at home until she goes back to college this fall. I invent things and now I’m trying to invent time travel because my future self told me I will.”

He looked up at her, expecting to see doubt, but she looked interested.

“You don’t think that’s crazy?” he asked.

She shook her head.

“In just the three days we’ve been in the Tri-State Area, I’ve seen a giant robot attacking a cruise ship get stopped by a platypus wearing a hat and a mustachioed alien in a U.F.O talking to a couple of young men, so it seems like weird is just normal here.”

She put her hand over his on the table.

“You seem weird, but a good weird.”

“That platypus used to be my nemesis. Now we work together when we can. I helped him take down that robot. You think I’m bragging too much”

She shook her head and pointed at his watch.

“The platypus…”

“Perry the platypus,” he interrupted and she smiled again.

“The platypus had the same watch on when he tipped his hat to me after destroying the robot.”

The bell dinged. Her hand was still on his and it was warm. She squeezed it before she got up and moved to the next table. Heinz watched her make a mark on her card. He marked the ‘match’ square and then another woman sat down across from him. He turned his attention to her, but it didn’t go well. Neither did any of the other speed dates. He only had one ‘match’ marked on his card, but he doubted that Flo had matched with him.

The round ended and it was over. He turned in his card to the director. She consulted another card, smiled and said, “You’ve got a match this time, Heinz.” It was the first time he’d marked a match and had it reciprocated. The director pointed at Flo, who saw and waved at Heinz. Heinz’s heart beat a bit faster. He wiped his sweaty hands on his lab coat before he went to Flo.

“Heinz!” she said and hugged him. He returned it awkwardly, patting her back as he hugged her. She released him.

“So…” he paused.

“Let’s go out for dinner,” she said, taking his hand. “What’s good around here?”

“Have you ever had Drusselsteinian food?” he asked and she shook her head.

“Good, let’s not get any, I grew up eating it and it’s mostly awful.”

“Oh, you’re from Drusselstein?”

He nodded and noticed she was still holding his hand.

“There’s a nice Italian place around the corner that we won’t need reservations for. I eat there sometimes and it’s good.”

“Okay, I’m just going to let Mara know where I am.” She squeezed his hand and Heinz’s heart flip-flopped again. She went and talked to Mara for a moment. Mara eyed Heinz suspiciously, and he remembered his speed date with her. Flo laughed at something Mara said and Heinz discovered he already liked Flo’s laugh; it was warm and genuine. She left Mara and came back to Heinz. She took his hand again and he was happy that his hand wasn’t sweating like it usually did when he was on a date.

“Let’s go,” she said.

It was a warm summer evening, so neither of them needed a jacket. He led her out of the hotel bar and around the corner to a small restaurant with a sign over it that read ‘Gio’s authentic Italian cuisine.’ It was dark inside with the tables lit by candles in red jars. The whole place had a run-down 70’s vibe, but it smelled amazing.

“I know it’s not much to look at, but the food is good and the service is fine.”

The hostess at the front saw Heinz and said, “Table for two, Heinz?” She looked down at their still intertwined hands.

“Yes, please.” The hostess led them to a dark booth in the corner. Heinz chuckled.

“What’s so funny?” Flo asked, sitting across from him.

“This is the table where they like to put couples on dates. I’ve never sat here before.” He pointed at a two-top by the front window.

“I usually sit there. Sometimes Vanessa, my daughter, comes with me and we still sit at the small table by the window.”

The waitress sat down menus and water in front of them and they ordered. While they were waiting for their appetizers they made small talk about family. Heinz told her about his brother Roger, the mayor. He mentioned he’d always been jealous of Roger and how he had tried to keep taking over the Tri-State area, but had finally moved on with therapy. He thought he’d said too much, but Flo nodded.

“Therapy helps,” she said and told him about her sister and family and how no matter what she did, it never seemed to be enough, even after becoming semi-famous on television. Their food came and the conversation turned to food and drink, then back to each other as the meal progressed. Flo was a good listener and Heinz never felt like he went too far with his past, but he carefully didn’t mention much of his childhood in Drusselstein. The chorus dancers walked by outside, but he caught the leader’s eye in the window and waved them off subtly: no backstory song and dance today, don’t want to scare Flo off. They left with the leader making a ‘pay me’ motion with her hand and Heinz nodded.

“So, what’s up with the dancers?” Flo asked. Of course she’d noticed.

“They’re on retainer to provide back-up singing and dancing during my backstory song, but we don’t need that today.” He chuckled nervously and Flo put her hand on his again.

“It’s okay, I like you, you’re interesting. Do you sing a lot for backstory?”

“I used to, but it’s a lot less common now. I don’t know how or when my life became a musical.” He sighed and she squeezed his hand.

“Television life is weird and meta, too, so I get it. Sometimes I wonder how my life became what it is.” He squeezed her hand and she didn’t pull back.

The waitress brought Tiramisu for dessert and placed it between them.

“We didn’t order this,” Heinz said.

“It’s on the house, Heinz, you’re a good customer and a good tipper.” She grinned and he knew she was enjoying being a bit of a wingman.

“Thank you,” he said. The waitress put down two forks. Flo laughed when she saw.

“Do you mind sharing it?” she asked and he shook his head. She grabbed a fork and took a bite.

“It’s delicious.” She picked up another piece and offered it to Heinz on her fork. He leaned forward and took the bite off the fork.

“It is good,” he said. “My daughter likes it, but I usually get spumoni if I want dessert. At least somewhat because spumoni is fun to say. Spumoni! Spumoni!”

Flo laughed again, which jiggled the fork and she got a blob of whipped cream on her nose. Heinz held up a napkin for her and she took it and wiped it off.

They finished the tiramisu, one taking a bite then the other. They talked about some of the places they’d been in common and they both said how much they liked Seattle.

“It’s not just the coffee,” Flo joked and Heinz laughed.

“It’s also not rainy all the time, just mostly in the fall, winter and spring.”

“So 75% of the time,” Flo said and this time Heinz laughed.

“Where are you off to next?” he asked.

“San Francisco, then L.A. We’re going to film a commercial on location and then finish up on a soundstage.”

They finished their meal and the waitress let them talk for a long time before offering coffee, which they both declined.

“I’ve got to get up early for an interview before the conference tomorrow, then we’re going to the airport.”

“I can’t have coffee this late,” Heinz said.

They both reached for the check, but Heinz got it first.

“Split?” Flo offered.

“Nah, I’ve got it.” He pulled out a black Amex and paid.

“That’s invite only,” Flo said, nodding at the card.

“What? This?” Heinz said, baffled.

“Yeah, it’s like for the super-rich. Are you a billionaire?”

Heinz snorted, laughed, then snorted again.

“No, not a billionaire. I get some money from my inventions and some from the alimony from my ex.”

The waitress returned and he held the card out so Flo could see it. She took it curiously, then handed it back.

“Sorry, that makes it seem like I’m a gold-digger.”

“Nah, I didn’t get that, you just seemed curious.”

They left and as they reached the door, she took his hand again.

“If I were here another night, I’d say let’s go out tomorrow, but the best I can do is give you my number.”

He put her number in his phone and she did the same with his. He sent her a test text and it went through and she returned with a smiley face emoji.

“I’ve got to go to bed now, Heinz, but I had a good time.” She leaned forward and pecked his cheek. He reciprocated and thought he saw a small blush on her neck near the collar of her shirt.

“I had a good time, too. I hope to hear from you.” She squeezed his hand one last time and went around the corner back to her hotel.

Heinz touched his cheek where she’d kissed him and then slowly walked back to his building. He made sure to Venmo the dancers and gave them a large tip. When he got home, Vanessa popped her head out of her room.

“Hey, Dad, how’d it go tonight?” she asked in a slightly defeated voice. She knew how his dates usually went.

“Great!” he said. “I met a really nice woman named Flo and we exchanged numbers.”

His phone dinged and he looked at it.

I really did have a good time tonight. The best in a while. I’ll text you from SF 😘

He texted back quickly.

Looking forward to it.

He debated for a moment before adding an animated gif of the moon rising over the Golden Gate bridge.

He looked up from his phone and Vanessa had come completely out of her room.

“That was her texting me from her hotel. She said she had a good time, too and will text from San Francisco in the next few days.”

“Nice, dad. Glad you had a good time. I’ll be in here if you need me.” She started to pull her head back.

“Love you, sweetie,” Heinz said and she stuck her head back out.

“Love you, too, dad.”

Heinz went to bed and sat with his phone on his chest for a long time, just looking at the kissy-face emoji. He wanted to text Flo again, but decided it would seem too desperate.

Two days later he was working on a Time Dilator-inator with Norm when his phone buzzed. He sighed, expecting it was Major Monogram or Carl with some problem at OWCA, but it was a text from Flo.

Ugh, shooting delayed for two days. Now I have a whole day in SF, but no one to share it with. Wish you were here for a 2nd date.

Heinz texted back immediately.

I can be there in 30 if you want.

His heart thumped and Norm shouted, “Abnormal sinus rhythm detected!”

“Shut up Norm!” Heinz yelled back, watching the “…” of Flo typing.

“Just doing my job,” Norm said. Even with his robotic voice, Heinz could tell he was pouting.

“Sorry, Norm, it’s just Flo texting me.” She was still typing.

“It’s okay, sir, I’ll just stop telling you when your heart rate is abnormal.” Norm clunked away, tossing down a monkey-wrench petulantly. Heinz was watching Norm retreat and missed when Flo had texted back.

Are you in SF? Not in Danville? How can you be here so fast? Would love it if it were true.

Heinz took a photo of an inator in the corner and sent it with a message.

I invented a Teleport-inator a long time ago and it still works just fine. Give me your address and I can be there in 30

His phone rang. The caller ID said it was Flo.

“Heinz,” he said, answering.

“It’s Flo. You’re not joking?”

“Nope, I just need to clean up and I can be there as quick as quick can be.”

“I’m staying at the Omni International, room 1214. Look forward to seeing you.”

“I’ll be there soon. Want me to bring anything?”

“Nah, we’ll make a day of it.”

“Okay, bye.”

“Bye.”

She hung up and he double-checked the Teleport-inator. It was still in good shape and it powered on when he plugged it in. He went and cleaned up and changed into jeans and a blue OWCA polo shirt that just had their non-acronym stitched over the pocket. He texted Vanessa that he was going to San Francisco and she texted back that she wanted some Ghirardelli chocolates. He laughed.

A few minutes later he stood in front of the inator. He triple-checked the coordinates, and pushed the button. There was a flash, he was disoriented for a moment and then he found himself in San Francisco. A passerby stopped and stared until Heinz walked away, then the man walked off at a quick pace, rubbing his eyes.

Heinz walked a block to the Omni International and went up to room 1214. He paused before knocking and checked his breath. He sighed, squared his shoulders and knocked. Flo’s voice came from inside.

“Just a moment!”

She opened the door a few seconds later. She looked different; she was wearing jeans and a Kelly Green shirt with a braided silver bead necklace. She wasn’t wearing her trademark red lipstick and her hair was covered with a blue kerchief. She must have noticed Heinz noticing.

“This is me without makeup,” she said. “Disappointed?”

“No, you’re lovely.”

“Aw, thanks. She pulled him into her room and hugged him.

“Seriously, you teleported here?” she asked as she broke the hug. She sat at the little chair in front of the desk.

“Sure, it’s pretty simple. Easier than time travel, anyway.” She laughed and he looked around the room. The hotel was nice, but not a luxury 5-star hotel.

“What would you like to do?” he asked and he sat on the bed.

She raised her eyebrow at him and he quickly stammered, “No-no, I wasn’t suggesting…hanky-panky. It was just a good place to sit.”

“Nah, just teasing you. I didn’t think you were implying that.” She tossed a pamphlet at him.

“How about Ghirardelli Square. It looks touristy and I don’t get to do touristy stuff much.”

“Oooh, perfect! Vanessa wanted me to pick up some Ghirardelli chocolate for her. I think she’s been here with a school group.”

“Cool, I’m ready now if you are, unless you’re tired from your flight.”

This time, he laughed and she laughed with him. He stood and so did she. She leaned past him to pick up her purse off the bed and he could smell her perfume. It reminded him of vanilla and summer peaches.

They took a cab down to Ghirardelli square and got out to walk. Even though it was summer, a stiff, cool breeze came in from the bay. They walked around looking at the shops and watched a mime for a moment until Heinz told Flo about the time he’d made a Mime-Inator and trapped all the mimes in the Tri-state area in invisible boxes.

“But, fortunately Perry the Platypus foiled me before I could trap everyone in invisible boxes. Man, I was a different person then.”

She took his hand, squeezed it and pulled him away from the mime.

“What made you change?” she asked.

Heinz paused in thought for a long time.

“I realized that I wasn’t doing anything useful or leaving a legacy that meant anything. I originally wanted my daughter, Vanessa, to follow in my footsteps and be evil, but I saw that she has a little bit of that evil and I could picture her becoming a megalomaniacal villain like I was trying to be and it just hit me that it was a waste. I started working with the group that always foiled me and after my penthouse was destroyed I lived with a very nice family that helped me change, too.”

“Is the group named OWCA?” she asked.

He blinked and she pointed at his shirt.

“Oh, yeah, but I didn’t tell you that, because it’s a secret organization.”

“So secret that they put their acronym on a shirt?”

Heinz smiled widely.

“They don’t have an acronym, they’re the Organization Without a Cool Acronym.”

Flo laughed so hard she had to pause and lean her head on Heinz. His chest burned where she leaned on him.

“No acronym,” she wheezed. “Oxymoron.”

She finally stopped laughing, but kept her head leaning on his side slightly as they walked the square hand in hand. They made small talk and he learned that she’d been in an improv troupe in college that had a big comedy star in it and she heard how he’d been raised by ocelots at one point.

“Ooo, let’s do that.” She pointed at an indoor miniature golf course.

“Okay,” Heinz agreed and they went in. It was fairly empty and they picked up their putters and balls. Heinz hit a hole in one on the first hole and Flo kissed him on the cheek in congratulations.

“Too much?” she asked.

“Nah,” Heinz said.

They played their round, stopping at the ‘turn’ for a corndog and a soda, then finished their round. Flo beat him by three strokes and she asked him if he let her.

“No way,” he said.

“I just thought maybe because you hit the hole in one on the first hole,” she said.

“I was just lucky, like when I sat down across from you.” Heinz smiled a genuine smile and he liked how he was smiling more now already.

They walked through all the shops and in one particularly touristy one, he crushed a penny in a machine that stamped the Golden Gate on it. He gave it to Flo and she put it in a pocket. She bought a glass paperweight that was slightly cloudy and said it contained ‘100% authentic San Francisco fog.’ She gave it to Heinz and he rubbed it on his shirt before he put it back in the bag. After a while, they went into a bar that was styled as an English pub.

They went to the bar and Flo ordered a Guinness and Heinz had a soda.

“Do you not drink?” she asked as they sat down at an open table.

“Very little,” he said. “I just don’t like it; it’s not some moral thing.”

“You don’t mind if I do?” she asked.

He shook his head.

“So, since I already know about OWCA and Perry the Platypus, can you tell me more about it?”

“Not anything more than they stop people who need stopping; I can’t give you any details. Sorry.” He wiped his brow.

“Is it warm in here?” he asked.

“Hmm, maybe a little.” Her foot bumped his leg under the table.

“Nope that made it hotter,” he said and she laughed, but pulled back her foot.

“Sorry,” she said and laughed again. Heinz noticed she was laughing a lot around him and he tried to remember if that was a good sign or not. He decided her smile definitely was.

“No need to be sorry. I just think it’s been a long time since I’ve been on a date with a beautiful woman and it wasn’t a disaster.”

“Oh?”

He told her about the time he’d invented boots that helped him square dance to impress a date and how it went wrong. She laughed at all the right spots. She told him about the time she went out with a movie star and figured out he was just trying to distract the paparazzi from his real date, who he met at the bar in the VIP section and left Flo on her own.

“Wow! Want me to hit that guy with my ugly-inator?” Heinz asked, half-seriously. Flo looked at his face carefully, trying to figure out if he meant it or not.

“No, please don’t. It seems like something you would have left behind.”

Heinz sighed.

“It is, but sometimes you still want to give people their just desserts.”

“I get that. I really do, but karma will catch up to him,” Flo said.

“Speaking of dessert, do you want to get dinner? It’s a bit early, but that corndog wasn’t really much.”

“Sure, I’ll go to the bar and see if they do table service.” She got up, went to talk to the bartender and came back a moment later with menus. She handed one to Heinz.

“Looks like it’s traditional British fare.”

“Oh, sorry,” Heinz said, and she laughed again.

“I like shepherd’s pie and they have a few American things, too.”

After they’d ordered their food (shepherd’s pie for Flo and a plain cheeseburger for Heinz) they talked easily until it arrived. Flo ate hers with gusto, taking the mash off each bite first, then eating the meat and veggies under it next. Heinz picked at his burger and fries.

“Not good?” Flo asked.

“Just nervous still, I think.” He sighed.

“I always think I’m going to do or say something to wreck it. I guess it’s a type of impostor syndrome where I don’t think I deserve good things like a nice date with a beautiful woman who laughs at my jokes and thinks I’m okay.”

She put her hand over his again.

“If it helps, think of it as karma for trying to change. I feel it, too. It’s hard for me to get along with the sort of men I meet where it seems like they always just want a quick bang and then they know I’ll be moving on. I want more, but being on the move is hard. You having a teleporter makes it easier. Also, you don’t seem like you just want to get in my pants.”

“I mean, I do want that, maybe, but not until we get to know each other more. I’m just not wired to sleep together on the first or second date,” Heinz said. He turned his hand upright in hers and squeezed it.

“See that’s nice. It’s a nice change.” She returned the squeeze and they finished their meal. The talk was lighter now, avoiding hard topics. Heinz actually finished all his fries and most of his burger. There was hardly a drip of gravy left in Flo’s bowl.

Heinz started to pay, but Flo insisted on getting the tab this time.

“I have money, too.”

He half-bowed to her.

“Thank you.”

As they walked out back into the square, the red sun over the bay was still fairly high. Heinz’s watch beeped and he looked at it, then excused himself for a moment. He walked a short distance away, but Flo could still hear him.

“Yes, I’m in San Francisco. No, I’m on a date. Yes, a date. I’ll be back later tonight.”

He paused and listened

“I used one of my old inators to teleport here.”

He listened again and laughed.

“I’ll tell her. See you later, Carl.”

He walked back to Flo.

“Work?” she asked.

“Yeah, they need me to look at something that may have been made by an evil scientist and see what it was part of.” He glanced at his watch again.

“Do you need to leave right away?”

He shook his head.

“Let’s get your daughter her chocolate then, in case you have to leave suddenly.” She took his hand and guided him to the chocolate shop.

“They don’t manufacture it here any more, do they?” she asked.

He shook his head.

“No, it’s all made somewhere else now, but they still have their premier storefront here.”

They shopped the store together and took a few samples from the salesperson. Heinz bought two packages of sea salt dark chocolate caramels and one of solid milk chocolates. Flo bought mint filled dark chocolates.

They went to sit on a bench in the shade and he gave Flo the extra bag of sea salt chocolate.

“For me?” she asked and he nodded.

“Thank you.”

They shared some chocolate on the bench and she leaned her head on his shoulder. His watch made a noise again, but he didn’t look at it.

“Work again?”

“No, it was my health monitor.” He laughed, then shifted so she could see the face of the watch.

Abnormal sinus rhythm detected, sir. Yes, I know, shut up.

She laughed, then lifted her head off his shoulder and he turned to look at her. She lifted her head slightly and their lips met. Her hand slid behind his head when he tried to pull back and he relaxed into the kiss. Her lips were salty from the chocolate, and so warm. The kiss lasted for only a few seconds. His watch made a noise again and he started to laugh.

“You make my heart thump,” he said. She took his hand and put it over her breast and he could feel her heart beating fast, too.

“Ditto,” she said.

“I had a good time today,” she said standing. She helped Heinz up.

“Me too.” He leaned in for a kiss this time and she returned it. It was a kiss that promised more in the future.

“I do have to go. I’ll text you tomorrow?”

She smiled.

“Text me tonight and tomorrow.”

“I will. Stand back a few feet.”

She stepped back and he touched his watch. Not even a second later he disappeared with a small pop of displaced air and a smell of ozone.

Her phone dinged.

Safe at home

She texted back.

Glad to hear it. I’ll think of you later while I’m eating this chocolate.

She took a cab back to her hotel and later sat in her bath with a book and the chocolates. She did think of Heinz while she was eating them and wished he was there.

At the same time, Heinz was at OWCA headquarters looking at a robot’s head that Perry had torn off.

“Yep, it’s Rodney’s work all right. I’ll make you a targeted EMP device that should only take out his electronics since he uses his own bespoke components.”

He worked on it for several hours and then took a break. He texted Flo.

Late night. Sorry if you’re already asleep. Texting like I promised. Hope to see you sometime soon. XOXO

She didn’t respond and when Heinz looked at the time, he realized it was 2am on the west coast. He sighed and went back to work. Carl brought him a coffee.

They texted and facetimed a few times over the next two weeks. Flo was always busy, on the move from city to city, sometimes filming, sometimes presenting at a conference. Heinz helped foil Rodney’s plans and then went to Paris to help rebuild a bit of a superconducting supercomputer there that had been damaged by an alien attack. When he was done, Heinz took a photo of the Eiffel Tower.

Next time I’m here, I want to take you to the top of the tower. The view of Paris is incredible.

She texted him photos of the Space Needle and the Gateway Arch and said she wanted him there.

Finally, almost a month later they met up again in Chicago. They took in a Cubs game at Wrigley and then went to the museum of Science and Industry. He took her on the coal mine tour there. That night, the goodbye kiss outside her hotel room lingered. Heinz could tell she was considering inviting him in.

“Tell you what,” he said. “Tell you what, tell you what, next time you have some free time, I’ll teleport you to Danville and you can see my place and meet my daughter.”

She blinked, then laughed.

“I like that. I think I might be falling in love with you, Heinz. It’s a weird, teenagery feeling that I thought I’d left behind. It’s fluttery and strange and I like it very much.”

She leaned forward and kissed him deeply. He pushed her up against the door of her hotel room and her hand moved lower on his back.

“I like it, too,” he said when he pulled away finally after an age.

She squeezed his hands as she went into her room. He let the door close before he teleported away.

Just a few days later, she texted him and he teleported her to his penthouse. He was ready with the paper bag when she popped in, but she didn’t barf like most people did when they teleported for the first time.

She immediatey noticed the large, man-shaped robot hovering over Heinz.

“Glad to meet you!” it bellowed.

“Glad to meet you, Norm,” she said.

Norm stumped off, humming to himself.

Heinz showed her around his workroom, pointing out various inators that were old or new, broken or working. On his desk, in a place of honor, she saw a photo of Heinz in his lab coat with his arm around a teal platypus with a hat. She didn’t know how she knew, but she could tell the platypus was smiling. She noticed a photo of her outside Wrigley field next to Perry’s photo.

A young woman dressed in black came out of a room, did a double-take when she saw Flo and introduced herself.

“I’m Vanessa,” she said.

“Flo.” She released Vanessa’s hand.

“I’m going out tonight with friends. I’ll be back late.” Vanessa hugged Heinz and left.

“She seems nice,” Flo said.

“But not too nice,” Heinz added, then sighed.

“What’s wrong?” Flo asked, putting her arm through his.

“She’s in love with someone, but it’s complicated because he’s a lot younger.”

“Ah,” Flo said, not knowing what to say.

“The age gap won’t seem weird in a few years and she’s being mature about it, but I can tell it’s hard for her.”

“Sorry.”

He waved it off.

“My problem…and Vanessa’s. We’ll get through it.”

He showed her the rest of his penthouse. Norm made them a homemade tapas meal with lots of choices of small dishes.

“Now, you’ll get the only part of Drusselsteinian food that’s any good: the Doonkelberry pie!” Heinz took a cloche from over a pie. A bat flew out of the rafters and tried to grab it, but Norm was too fast with a net.

“It smells amazing, and it’s still warm.” Flo took the slice proffered by Heinz.

“Norm makes a good pie, almost as good as Lindana’s.” Heinz laughed and served himself a slice. He closed the cloche as another bat made a dive at it. Norm caught it with the net, too.

“Are the bats normal?” Flo asked and Heinz smiled.

“They love the berries. I don’t know where they hide-”

“Wait. Did you mean Lindana, the pop star?” Flo interrupted him.

He told her about his date with Lindana and how she lived as a house-wife in the Tri-State area now. He told her that her stepson was the one that Vanessa had a thing for.

“Never thought you’d be one to date a pop star,” she said around a bite of pie.

“Yeah, it was a disaster. I was a bad person then.” They finished the pie and went into the living room to watch a movie, but missed almost all of it making out like teenagers. Norm came in at one point and then left immediately when he saw them on the couch. The movie ended and neither of them got up. Heinz’s watch dinged and they both jumped.

“Work?” she asked.

“No, bedtime.” He answered.

“Want to come with me?” he asked as he stood.

“I’ve wanted that for a while now,” she said and took his hand as she stood.

They walked off slowly to his bedroom and didn’t come out until late the next morning.

Two months later, Heinz made good his promise and took her to the top of the Eiffel Tower. A month later to the top of the CN tower in Toronto and then deep into Carlsbad Caverns.

One year to the day after their first date they sat in the same Italian restaurant and when the tiramisu came out there was a velvet box on it. Flo didn’t even open it before she said yes.

#fanfiction #phineas and ferb #doctor doofenshmirtz #crack taken seriously #flo from progressive

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