Wrote a little poem for LOKI
Spoilers for 2.06 under the cut
Woven through time, this story is yours
It’s been yours all along, you’ve been centre stage
Now you must take your seat on the throne of life
But before you go, look back
Your friends, they call to you, they search for your light
B-15 curses the time, shouting out her pain
D-90 feels your loss, far in the void
Casey looks for you, thinking you were gutted by a fish
OB is quiet, contemplating his theories
Sylvie doesn’t care, this madness is over for her
And Mobius stills, because Mobius knows
Your sweet, loyal friend, who can feel you’re somewhere
Your friends, they mourn, they cry for your loss
And while you miss them, painfully so
There’s no-one you’ll miss more than your partner-in-crime
Who saw the good in you, who helped you see
Not all those who stray away are lost from their lives
Who encouraged your mischief and trusted your rage
A bond transcending any mortal plane, forged in fire and flame
Two souls intertwined by the fates of time
Now, noble warrior, to protect those you love
To keep his life and fate assuredly safeguarded
You must take your place and become Life itself
A purpose fulfilled, for all time: glorious
Your friends will wait for you, and so will he
You will return, and he will wait, for all time, always
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If my mom sees a significant amount of blood she gets lightheaded, and has fainted on some occasions. Once it happened when we were kids, I wasn't there to witness it but I heard the story from my dad. Basically my brothers, around 7 or 8 at the time, were playing outside while my mom was making their lunch, and she accidentally cut her finger. It wasn't anything serious, but it drew a fair bit of blood and she passed out. My dad saw this and rushed over, but he didn't really know what to do so he just sort of started slapping her to wake her up (not recommended, but he had no idea and panicked)
At that exact moment my brothers both came in from playing, and all they saw was our mom unconscious on the floor and our dad slapping her. So, like, without even saying a word to each other they both just INSTANTLY start whaling on him, like, full blown attack mode to defend our mom. Which obviously didn't help the situation, but she did wake up and everything was fine.
Now our dad says that he's actually really glad they attacked him over what they thought was going on, because it means he raised good boys. And I still think that's true, they're very good boys.
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some of yall will be like “i dont care about your dreams, i dont care about your spotify wrapped, i dont want to hear about your interests, dont you dare talk to me about your trauma,” and its like. what do you even have friends for. bc it sounds to me like you dont give a shit about anything that makes them a person. what do you talk about.
important addendum: if you cant read and you leave a dumbass comment on my post im just going to block you 💛
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
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