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strawberrysainz · 11 months

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romanticism. charles leclerc

“ being charles leclerc’s assistant was a piece of work. you loved him though. ”

charles leclerc x reader

a warning — crude language, mentions of food, alcohol consumption, semi-mature scenes.

word count: 2.8k

“Do you want a biscuit?” He pointed to the box of red, racing-themed biscuits, mouth already full with one. “Please don’t tell anyone.” He added as an afterthought, and you snorted to yourself, setting down a notebook to take a gingerbread man decorated as him.

The instagram handle for the baker was loud and proud on the box, and you took a photo of the little Charles, making a note to post it later.

Qualifying hadn’t gone very well for Charles, hence the angry biscuit-eating. He’d ended up third, but an incident in the famous tunnel of the Principality had cost him three more places. His white suit was blinding in the tiny room, and his frustrated little huffs as he flung things this way and that made you slightly on edge.

You had been scrambling to catch up with him this season; you had been dealing with a family crisis until Miami, leaving Charles with some guy as his assistant for the past races. You had thought he was decent at first, but Charles was a precise guy; if he was relying on you to keep it together at work for him, then you’d better fucking do it the way he wanted. Even you didn’t mess with Charles on a race weekend. He was so nervous or upset or he was the happiest guy in the world - it didn’t matter, you just had to be consistent, comforting and take things as they went.

You swore he could’ve kissed you when you arrived on Monday.

But here you were on Saturday, still uneasy; Monaco had always freaked you out - you didn’t believe in the curse because Charles scorned it, but a part of you had anticipated that a stroke of bad luck would always have its way here. It was nine in the evening, and the crowds were still insane. You were prepared to walk back to your apartment at this point, even if it would take you about an hour with the blocked off roads. You handed Charles his clean clothes to change into after his shower, and you were about to go home for the night -

“Do you want to have dinner with me?”

You tilted your head. You knew Charles’ new girlfriend had arrived this morning, surely he’d do something with her?

He must’ve seen the look on your face, and his unsureness- the way he couldn’t believe what he were saying- made you embarrassed.

“No, it’s alright. Get a good night’s sleep. I’ll struggle to get back to mine anyway.” You said abruptly. “Must I make you an Instagram post while you’re in the shower?”

He nodded, unlocking his phone. You immediately went into Google Drive to get some pictures as he left, when a message from Alexandra came in.

You blanched; usually, bar your forgetfulness, you put the phone on the do not disturb function so that you didn’t see what he was getting sent- but the full stops and seriousness made you guiltily keep a finger on the notification.

You’re being ridiculous. I can’t give up my job to come cheer you on. I know it’s Monaco but I thought I made it clear. I can’t make it after all, C. My job is equally as important as yours. You’ll be fine.

You inhaled sharply; she was pissed. You thought she was reasonable, but you knew how much it meant to him to have people here; he struggled in Monaco, and even if he didn’t admit it he was so anxious to please.

I’m sure she’ll have a little fuckin hug and a kiss for you. I’m not a cheerleader, that’s her job, Charles. Watch her under the podium instead. Or maybe not after all- I saw you got P6

Talk tomorrow

Your eyes widened. Was she talking about you?

You were being too nosy. You selected the pictures and put them together, locking his phone on the caption section so he’d write what he’d like. As you opened the door to leave, he was there, his eyes meeting yours; and he must’ve known that you knew something because he lowered his gaze.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” You said quietly, patting his arm. “Sleep well.”

There was a desperation in his tone when he asked you again to supper.

Well, how the fuck could you say no? He was clearly desperate.

“I’ll invite Joris and Lorenzo, and Arthur.” He said quickly, and you sighed; “The usual?” It was a little tapas restaurant 15 minutes away.

You closed the door then, confused, and walked away, opening your phone to call Joris for a lift.

❤️‍🔥💿💌🍓

You were in the front seat surrounded by the familiar smell of Joris’ car; you two had become good friends- always together, waiting, working because of Charles.

You were busy typing about the gingerbread man when Joris asked you about the lack of Alex (Charles had probably been talking about her first Grand Prix together with him).

You paused. “They seem to be having some sort of rift. Not sure. Ask him.” You said shortly; you tried to stay out of his love life as much as you could. You’d liked his previous girlfriend to an extent, but the final events leading up to their breakup made it awkward for you to say goodbye. You tried desperately to be professional but at that point you were a really close friend of Charles’.

Joris nodded. You two did enjoy a paddock gossip now and again, but when it involved Charles alone you really weren’t into it.

You ended up taking longer to get to the restaurant because you made him stop at your house - you weren’t going to turn up in Ferrari gear - and showered, put new clothes on and sprinted back to his car in the drizzle.

Walking through the restaurant to your table in the corner, Joris was busy chattering on about the home GP content he was busy with; you were fiddling with your hair, your bracelets, your clothes, irritated to be there. Trying to be normal around Charles in non-work situations like he didn’t fucking employ you always stressed you out.

Not to mention he was being so awkward as of late.

You slid into the bench next to Lorenzo, giving him a warm pat on the arm as Joris sat on your other side. Charles was smiling at the sight of you - you greeted Arthur, and then him, and you were presented with some iced tea (no one drank next to Charles on a Saturday before the race).

You were lost in the conversation between Arthur and Charles (Arthur hadn’t done so well in F2 today either) when Lorenzo caught your attention.

“How are you?” You adored the way he spoke French; it was low and comfortable, in the kind of way that reminded you of a warm hug.

“Alright.” You said, giggling, and he nodded seriously. He knew about your stress - he’d never raced as intensely as his two brothers - and you’d always found him a comfort.

He was busy telling you about something - a trip with his girlfriend - when you heard the distress in Charles’ tone and turned to him. He was staring at the paella in front of him.

Joris was silent; Arthur just looked lost.

“What’s wrong?” You said quietly, and you noticed a few stubborn tears in his eyes that he was dying not to let fall.

“I’m just not feeling good about the race.” His tone was terribly melancholic, and you felt a bit frozen. “I- Cha-“

Lorenzo was stiff; you blinked.

Charles sat up straight. “It’s okay. Sorry.” His tone indicated no more talking about it, and Joris launched into a conversation about something, Arthur hurriedly joining in. You made eye contact with him sternly; we were talking about this later.

❤️‍🔥💿💌🍓

Supper had come and gone, the bill had been paid, and you found yourself alone in Charles’ car at 10:53 pm on the way back to your apartment.

“Please come in.” You had said to him, after he refused to go home immediately to sleep; promising a cup of tea before he got home.

You had dropped your keys by the front door and entered, your cat greeting the two of you. “What’s wrong?” You said, starting the kettle with a tenderness in your tone you could never replicate with anyone else.

Charles was just sighing, complaining, choking with emotion as he spoke of his fears - dear God, he was struggling - you poured milk and sugar, biting a lip, and eventually it became too much that you brought him in for a tight hug in the light of your kitchen, a song playing in the corner.

You pulled away, and to your surprise he was looking into your eyes softly, a gentleness in his expression that freaked you out. You felt your body soften as his hand met your hip, and you knew, despite yourself, you could never refuse him.

“Cha…” you murmured, gaze on his lips. Holy shit, this was so wrong.

He let out a little sigh that had you going insane, and you turned around to fetch the tea, overwhelmed; this was the only way you could prevent whatever what was happening, not happen.

He murmured your name again, and you turned around slowly, guiltily watching his beautiful face, certain feelings you’d suffocated return just like that.

His hand met your arm, gentle pressure prompting you to put the tea down. You gasped quietly as his hand on your hip brought you together, eyes wide and wanting.

He met your lips with his, and it was like a wildfire that burned, bright and haunting, kissing you everywhere, his touch burning, thigh in between your legs, arms and hands touching you everywhere, you were gasping and he was moaning, the desire in the air thick, scary, and his facial hair tickled you in a delicious way that made you shiver, eyes lidded, dark, and suddenly he was moving to take his shirt off and you stepped back, terrified, lonely.

“Charles, you have a girlfriend.” You said lowly, hair messy. You noticed your lipstick all over his lips and face.

He looked scared of himself. “Fuck. I have to go. I need to sleep.”

“And talk to Alex.” You said, scaring yourself with the heaviness of your tone, and he was gathering his things, tea forgotten.

When he left, you waved him out, mouth wobbling, and you burst into tears after closing the door, clutching your mouth, your sobs shaking you, sinking down to the floor.

❤️‍🔥💿💌🍓

You’d agreed to lift Joris the previous night, so you were glad to ditch seeing Charles until you really had to - an hour later, you walked into his driver’s room; he was doing some exercises with Andrea while the social media intern videoed him. You stayed out of sight of the camera, leaning against the wall, trying to distract yourself from the previous night’s events.

You were wearing more makeup than usual to hide your puffy eyes from the tears last night, determined to act as if nothing had happened. You really hated that Charles had cheated on his girlfriend with you; you could put it down to him being vulnerable, but you were at fault as much as he was.

When everyone had left, Charles was left on the couch staring sheepishly at you. You crossed your arms, an invisible ocean separating you two, you two continents.

“I told Alex.” He said calmly.

“And?”

“She said she can’t be with me if I’m not being faithful and she’s not there all the time. We’ve only been together three months. She’s not into it.”

“I’m sorry.”

He shrugged. “It was my fault. I made a move when I wasn’t meant to. I’m sorry for putting you in that position.”

From the way he was moaning yesterday, you weren’t sure if that was true.

“Okay.” You snort, moving to open the door. “Driver’s parade in 20 minutes. I’ll see you later?”

He nodded, waving a goodbye as you left.

❤️‍🔥💿💌🍓

P6, like he started.

It was consistent, Joris had joked in your ear as you shook your head, trying not to laugh. He’d had a pretty good race, the team hadn’t fucked up, it was just the way it went.

He had been busy with press and much more before he ended up back with Andrea where you and Joris had been waiting for about three hours (you were also a bit drunk; you’d had too many glasses of champagne from Paddock Club).

“Hi!” You giggled, high-fiving him. “Good job.” Joris also cackled, and Charles shot you a glare. “Are you drunk?”

“No.” You said firmly, shaking your head. “I am very sober.” You said, and Joris nodded seriously. “We had a little bit of champagne.”

Andrea gestures to the bottle that was on the table beside you. “What’s that?”

“For Cha! A well done.” You beamed, and presented it to him. Charles couldn’t help but laugh. “I am going to have to drive you two back in her car, no? Put my bicycle in the back.”

You and Joris were squealing with laughter at the idea, and the two standing before you were laughing at you.

“Come, you fucking idiots.”

“No! You can’t insult me, you kiiiiissssed me,” you giggled, and Joris didn’t catch it, but Andrea did, shooting Charles a glare, who if looks could kill, would’ve shot you dead. He looked so pissed.

“Come,” he snapped, and Andrea said that he’d take Joris.

❤️‍🔥💿💌🍓

He pulled up to your apartment. “Come in.” You said, and Charles scoffed. “Not for a long time now. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You looked so vulnerable, rain falling on your head as you peered down at him. “Are you taking my car? I’ll come fetch it tomorrow.” You said softly. “Thanks for taking me. I’m sorry, I was stupid. I needed to relax for one fucking minute this week.”

Charles’ eyes softened, and he opened his mouth to say something before he closed it, nodding curtly, and drove away.

You couldn’t differentiate the raindrops from your tears, forcefully wiping them away.

❤️‍🔥💿💌🍓

You knocked on his door at midday the next afternoon, wanting to thank him before flying to Spain. You hated the energy he’d given you since you’d kissed; it was wildly different and you loathed it.

He answered a minute or so later, glasses on and a scruffy jumper, eyes tired. “Hi,” you were out of breath all of a sudden; he was so terribly attractive.

He looked surprised to see you. “I came to say thank you. And get my keys.”

“Come in. Do you want coffee?” He said instead, and you felt a bit of déjà vu from two nights before, hauntingly familiar.

You loved his apartment. The red and white was a colour scheme you adored, and you sat on the sofa while he made you a coffee, one spoon of sugar and a splash of milk just how you liked.

“I want to say sorry for how weird I was this week. I just hate the Grand Prix in Monaco, you know?” You said hurriedly, and he set down the coffee, sitting down next to you. He laughed. “I know. I know.” It had been this way since 2021- when you had started working for him- and he kept having shit races here.

He held out his hand. You squeezed it. “Let’s move on from it.”

He smirked. “Am I such a bad kisser?”

Your jaw dropped, throwing your head back laughing. “Cha!”

He was dead serious. “Why do you want to move on?”

“I work for you?” You said, disbelievingly, and his mouth twitched. “Charles, come on.”

He picked up the mug and took a sip.

You quite literally wanted to die.

He set it down again, looking seriously at you. “I don’t regret the kiss, if you want to know.”

You stare at him. “It literally broke you and your girlfriend up.”

“I like you.” He shrugged. “More than her. More than I thought.”

You laugh, bringing the coffee to your lips. “And when I saw your lipstick on my face…” he trailed off, blushing, “Fuck.”

You swear you were as red as a mother fucking tomato at this point.

“Slow down.” You retorted, trying not to spit the coffee out.

“Kiss me.”

You stare at him again. Was he fucking delusional?

“What?” You hiss.

He rolls his eyes and kisses you.

You’re pulled onto his lap, breath gone, kissing him as hard as you can. Your head is thrown back as he goes for your neck, and the sounds he’s making make you moan.

“You’re really hot with glasses on,” you tell him, and he falters, giggling, before carrying on.

This time you let him take his shirt off, matching him.

You fall back onto the couch. Those eyes on yours, the eyes of your beautiful boy.

❤️‍🔥💿💌🍓

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lincolndjarin · 5 months

Text

Best Kept Secret

chapter twenty six : crucifixion

ao3 link ✿ series masterlist ✩ main masterlist ✧

pairing : bodyguard!Din Djarin x afab!princess!reader

rating : 18+ mdni

word count : 12.7k

summary : judgement day.

warnings: major character death, above canon typical violence, very brief references to suicide, torture, body horror (briefly), feelings of despair, blood, wounds, general kodo grossness, vomit (reader vomits several times, it is never described in detail), language, angst, brief smut, pregnancy, death, reader is not doing well in this like she's at a breaking point, i may have missed some so feel free to let me know.

a/n: please read the warnings on this chap! it's the most serious of the bks updates, definitely a bit more intense than the rest. gonna work on getting 27 out within the next few day. i've been terrified of releasing this chapter since i started writing it so once i post this i'm going to dig a hole and sit in it and hide for a while lmao.

i changed my editing style so if there's spelling errors lmk!! apologies in advance!!

“My room is too big.”

He bursts into genuine peals of laughter and you gently smack his arm.

“Don’t laugh, it’s a serious issue! My room is enormous.” You’re giggling along with him now, it’s the hardest you’ve ever heard him laugh. You both just laugh for a few minutes, as if each other's company is the most amusing thing in the world.

Once your giggles fizzle out you wait another moment before breaking the silence.

“Where did you grow up?” You can’t see him but you can sense where he sits in the darkness, you crawl forward so you’re sitting between his legs, your own legs wrap around his waist. “I’m just curious.”

“Aq Vetina.” You can’t recall anything about the planet. You aren’t even sure you’ve heard of it.

“Do you remember your parents well? You don’t talk about them very much.” You put your hands on his shoulders, ever so slowly moving them up to his neck until you’re cupping his face.

“I’ll never forget them.” He whispers.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. We can’t change the past.” You rub your nose against his, bumping them together as you hum and nod. “My mother loved ships. We didn’t travel, we never had a reason to, but she would take me outside and we’d watch ships fly past. I could never comprehend how she knew the name for all of them, it blew my mind.” You wrap your arms around his neck, staying silent in hopes that he’ll continue, he so rarely speaks so much. “My father worked a lot but he always made time for us, he was always home in time to say goodnight to me. He was always around when I needed him, he always provided for us. On his day off he’d spend the whole day cooking, I’d sit on the kitchen counter and tell him what my mother and I had done that week. When she’d come home we’d all eat dinner together.”

“You sound like you were a happy child.” You can’t help but smile.

“I never had reason to be otherwise.” He says it so matter of factly that you don’t doubt it for a second. He was loved. It only makes you smile wider.

“What were you like, as a child?”

“Well behaved.” You immediately begin laughing once more.

“I find that hard to believe.”

“Believe it. My mother homeschooled me, she always made sure I had manners. I wasn’t particularly athletic or talkative so I didn’t play with other kids a lot. It was just me and mama.” He sounds far away, it makes you want to hold him close and never let him go.

“So what did you do all day?” Your tone has softened significantly.

“I would sew.”

“Be serious.” He’s the one who laughs now at the disbelief in your voice.

“I am! I would sit with my mother after my lessons and we’d sew.” His fingertips dance along the back of your neck as he reminisces.

“What kinds of things?” You don’t tease. When you really think about it you suppose such a hobby is fitting for him. A task that requires precision and care.

“I would help her make clothes and blankets that she would sell most days. On the weekends she’d let me do whatever I wanted so I would practice my embroidery.”

“My heart is actually about to explode out of my chest, you’re so cute.” You put on a mocking tone but the thought of such a thing really does make your heart clench. “Little Din Djarin stitching his name into his clothes.”

“You’re a cruel woman.” He leans forward, knocking his forehead against yours, almost as if he were reprimanding you.

“What sorts of things would you embroider?” Your tone goes back to genuine, you could listen to him talk about himself for days and you’d never get bored.

“Whatever my mother wanted. I would ask her what I should do and then I’d stitch it onto her blanket or the hem of her skirt. Mostly flowers, she loved daisies.” You’re pretty sure one of your ovaries literally popped at the thought of a little boy with dark curls and big brown eyes sitting beside his mother and embroidering a daisy onto her skirt. Your heart flutters a bit as you think of the necklace he got you. The silver outline of a flower you now realize is a daisy. “If he was ever gone for more than one night for work my father would bring her daisies, one for each day he was away.”

“Do you still know how?”

“I used to fix Grogu’s clothes when he ripped them but I haven’t done much else since I was a boy. He says it with finality but you carry on, not wanting him to stop talking.

“What were their names? Your parents?”

“Clara and Arin Djarin.”

“Those are pretty names.”

“What was it like for you? You said you had seven siblings right?”

“Eight actually.” You think of them now. There were eight of you and your parents' love for all of you combined wasn’t even a tenth of how much Din’s parents loved him.

“Do you like having a big family?” He lifts you off of his lap, laying you back down as he crawls on top of you, laying against your chest.

“I love it. I miss my siblings everyday, do you think we’ll be able to visit them someday?”

“If it’s safe to, of course we will.” He tilts his head, if you weren’t in darkness he’d be looking at you.

“I wish they had visited here. They would have loved you.”

“You think?”

“Are you kidding me? The younger ones would adore you.” You tangle your finger in his hair, scratching his scalp. “Kids just naturally like you.”

“They just haven’t learned to fear me.” You frown when he says it like a fact.

“I think it’s more than that.”

“Yeah?” The hopeful tilt to his voice has you leaning down to press a kiss into his hair.

“Kids are intuitive, they can sense that you’re a good person.” He tenses up as you tell him he’s a good person. You know exactly what he’s thinking about now, how he punched your husband and then refused to leave.

Neither one of you wants to talk about that though, not today.

“What kind of room would you want? Since your current room isn’t to your liking.” He’s quick to change the subject and you let him.

“In all honesty, I like the cabin, I wish we could just live there.” You run your fingers through his curls as you think about it, gently pulling through any tangles.

“My cabin?” His voice is full of uncertainty as he pulls back a bit.

“It’s nice.” You feel a bit defensive, you consider the cabin to be the closest thing you have to a home. “Can you imagine getting to stay on Naboo? We could spend our mornings walking the market.” You rest your hand on the back of his neck now. “We could get jobs in the city, and then at night we’d come home.”

“To the cabin?” He still sounds rather skeptical of your hypothetical future.

“I’d cook dinner, you’d do the chores.”

“The cabin’s a bit small for us.”

“We’d make it a bit bigger, add a few bedrooms, we don’t need that much space.”

“A few?” He turns his head, his lips brush against your collar briefly as he kisses you there, freezing up when you speak again.

“At least two, one for us and then some for any little Djarin’s who might need space.” With that he sits up entirely, his legs straddle your stomach.

“Little Djarin’s?”

“And Grogu, he would come live with us as well.”

“You’d want him to live with us?”

“Of course, he’s a little Djarin.” Your hands rest on his thighs now as he seemingly ponders above you. He hums to himself in silence for a moment and you can’t help but grin at how seriously he’s taking all of this.

“How many?” He finally speaks again and you laugh at the bluntness of his question.

“Kids?”

“How many would you want?”

“You go first.” You haven’t ever talked about this sort of thing so you want to gauge his answer first so you don’t scare him too much with all the kids talk.

“Maybe five? Or six.”

“Six?” Your voice pitches up immediately and you feel a rumble in his chest as he laughs.

“Or five.”

“How about two, counting Grogu.” Turns out you didn’t need to worry about scaring him off.

“How about three?” Three is manageable.

“Counting Grogu?”

“Counting Grogu.” He seems satisfied with that.

“I suppose we could have three, you’re the one who has to build all the extra bedrooms.”

“I don’t mind.”

“I’d work at the library and you’d work in a shipyard, we’d take turns staying home with the kids.” You pull him back to you, taking his hands and dragging him to lay his head on your chest once more.

“I’ve got enough savings, neither one of us has to work if you’d like.” It sends a twinge of pain to your heart how real this conversation has become, knowing that this exact dream isn’t possible.

You could always make parts of it real.

Someday.

“I’d want to work, to get out of the house, but you could stay home if you’d like.”

“When they’re still ik’aad, at least for the first few years I’d want to be with them.” He’s going to be a wonderful father.

“Then I’d work, not long hours, just enough to get me out of the house, when I come home I’d give you a break, you could do the shopping and I’d watch the little’s.”

“We’d go as a family, I wouldn’t want ‘a break.’”

“You’d want to wrangle three kids in the markets?” You scoff in disbelief but he continues to sound completely serious.

“They’d be well behaved.” You seriously doubt that.

“What about either one of us makes you think our children will be well behaved? Is Grogu well behaved?”

“We’ll manage.”

“They’ll be wild.” They will, not they would.

“And smart.” He sits up again, hovering above you to give you a quick kiss.

“And happy.” There isn’t a doubt in your mind that your children would be happy with Din as their father.

“You’d really want to live here? I could build us a house anywhere.”

“I like Naboo, at least everything outside of the castle. I don’t even mind the castle, I just don’t care for the people inside it.” It’s true, somewhere along the way this place grew on you immensely. You love the city and the people in it. “And they’d get to play in the garden.”

“I would build you a cabin anywhere you wanted, and I’d plant you a new garden.” He kisses along your cheeks and forehead as he speaks.

“You wouldn’t need to plant me a garden if we lived here.” You insist.

“We can’t live here, mesh’la.” He rubs a small circle with his thumb against your cheek. “This is too serious now, we’re supposed to be relaxed today.”

“When did we agree on that?” You muster up a weak laugh.

“It was a silent mutual agreement.”

“I’m plenty relaxed.” You mumble. He buries his face in the crook of your neck, his stubble tickling you as you let out an airy giggle.

“I’m actually very tense and I think we should take a break from all this talking and take care of that.” He mumbles against your shoulder.

“Oh?”

“Mhmm.” He emphasizes his point by pressing his erection against your hip, you hadn’t even realized that this is where he was going with that.

“How long have you been waiting to jump me?”

“When we started talking about the five kids I was gonna put in you.” He continues to nip at your neck and shoulders as he speaks.

“Skipping the agreed upon three and going straight to five already? You’re not even going to attempt to negotiate for four?”

“So you’re open to four?” He pulls back and you can hear his smile.

“Let’s start with one and go from there.”

“Right now?” His hips stutter down a bit against yours.

“Maker, you’re insatiable.” You both burst into another fit of laughter.

“What’s the worst thing that could happen?”

“I could get pregnant, and considering the lack of sex I’ve had with my husband I’m sure that might raise a few eyebrows.”

“It would never get to that point, when we’re in the clear with this whole Kodo mess I’m getting you out of here.”

“Like… actually leaving Naboo?”

“Exactly like that. I’m gonna take you far away from here when this is over, gonna keep you all for myself.” His hands move down, giving your hips a squeeze.

“I’m already yours.” You laughed, rolling over to be on top of him. He’s right, if you’re going to leave anyway then what’s the worst thing that could happen?

You never talked about that night after that.

When everything sorted itself out you realized how crazy your fear had made you. You couldn’t just leave. At least that’s what you’d told yourself, now you feel like an idiot for not holding him to his words. It wasn’t realistic, you both knew actually leaving would take so much more preparation than a few whispered ideas during a time where neither one of you was in any position to be making such promises.

It was just talk.

Lysa came to get you from the dining room.

After everyone left you had no motivation to move, you just stood there, frozen in time. After a few hours she found you, she had taken your hand and walked you back to your chambers. She held your hand, she kept you upright when you threatened to crumble. And when you felt a wave of nausea ripple through you she rushed you to the fresher, a hand on your back as you threw up all over again.

You sat breathlessly on the tile, Lysa rubbing your back.

“Gods, I’ve been nauseous since the wedding. Even before everything fell apart.” It’s the first words you’ve spoken since they took Din, your stomach is still churning. “This has never happened before.” You groan, you’ve had many moments of upset throughout your life, but none that made you physically ill. Lysa looks almost painfully worried.

“Ma’am… is there a chance you might be…”

Kriff.

You never talked about that night after that.

Maybe you should have.

You both did a lot of things during those days. You had been so angry, and he had done everything in his power to ease that anger, to keep both of you as happy as someone could be in your situation.

You shouldn’t have used that as an excuse to be reckless.

“I’d like to go to bed.”

“Of course.” She helps you to your feet, walking you back to your room, you turn to her one last time before you close the door.

“I’m sorry. Elaine never should have gotten involved in all this.” You’d trade places with her in a heartbeat if you could.

“It’s not your fault.” She truly seems to believe that.

Except it is. Elaine never would have found herself in this situation if she hadn’t so often been helping the two of you keep your secret.

“Goodnight, Lysa.”

“Goodnight, princess.”

You lay on the bed, unable to bring yourself to sleep in the closet.

It’s cold. Colder than Hoth, as you stare at the ceiling in your far too big bed in your far too big room. Even bigger now that it’s just you.

You let your hand roam down your torso to rest on your stomach.

Just you, hopefully.

☆

You’re now having nightly dinners with Kodo.

You don’t get any respite from him, you just want to stay in bed. You’re nauseous and tired and your head hasn’t stopped spinning since that night. A million thoughts a minute.

Where is he?

Is he okay?

What the fuck can I do about it?

Mostly that.

The worst part is your lack of a plan. If the roles were reversed Din would have already rescued you and you’d be living happily ever after.

But that isn’t how your story is going. Instead you are alone, with no scheme on how to get to him. It’s only been three days but it’s driving you insane, you have never known such hopelessness, it’s maddening. To sit alone in your room all day, staring at the ceiling until Lysa comes to dress you for dinner. Neither one of you ever speaks, afterall, what would you say to each other?

“I’m sorry the love of your life had been sentenced to die?”

How morbid.

Not that you’re above being morbid.

You think about it often. How easy it would be to drive your dinner knife into Kodo’s throat. You’re seated beside him now at dinner, both of you at the head of the table, joined by the rest of his family.

The thought of killing him is the only thing that brings you peace these days. You’ve never once in your life been violent until now. Din is good. He’s a good man. In every way he is the opposite of your husband yet Din is the one locked away, Maker knows where, while Kodo is being rewarded.

It doesn’t make you mad, it makes you furious.

It makes you want to poison his wine.

But you don’t have poison.

And you can’t put yourself in danger. Because you feel fundamentally different, and even if you refuse to think that such a thing is possible you know you wouldn’t just be putting yourself in danger. There’s more at stake now.

That’s what you tell yourself to stay calm, a feat that is getting harder by the minute as you’re sat beside Kodo who is currently bragging about how he defeated a Mandalorian.

“They aren’t as strong as you think they are. Under the armor they’re weak, pathetic.”

It took six battle droids to keep him down. You didn’t even get near him.

“Some people just need to be taught a lesson, don’t touch what isn’t yours.” He sneers and the rest of the table erupts into laughter. “I certainly taught that horned bitch a lesson as well, you all should have seen what they brought me last night.”

You perk up, this is the only thing they’ve said in days that truly matters to you. You’ve heard nothing about the current state of either of them until now.

“What did they do to Elaine?” Everyone’s head turns to you, all their expressions look as if you’ve announced something treasonous but Kodo smiles as if he were explaining something to a child.

“She was properly punished, the way someone who observed such a crime with no intervention should be.” He puts his hand over yours when he says it.

You don’t ask for any follow up.

You don’t think you could stomach it, so you stay silent for the rest of your meal. When you’re finished you stand, the rest of the table is starting to pour more drinks but you simply lean down, mumbling something about being tired before giving Kodo a quick kiss on the cheek and dismissing yourself.

You’re waiting for the night where he joins you in your chambers, after all his father is dead, but it has yet to happen. He had told you that once he was king he would be in need of heirs but he seems happy enough with his pleasure houses and you’re more than grateful for the women you entertain him so you don’t have to.

So you return to your chambers alone, peeling off your gown before burying yourself under the covers.

Sleep evades you as you toss and turn. You aren’t even tired, there’s too much going on in your mind, there’s no room for exhaustion. After about an hour you manage to drift in and out of unconsciousness, earning a brief reprieve from your anxieties until a sharp knocking has you jolting upright.

You don your robe, rubbing sleep from your eyes as you rush to the door, you’re too tired to wonder who might even be bothering you at such an hour as you pull the door open.

Lysa?

“We have to hurry, ma’am.” She grabs your arm, frantically tugging you into the hall.

“Lysa? What are you doing? Are you okay?”

“I am fine, but we don’t have much time.”

“Surely you have enough to tell me where we are going.”

“Do you want to see him or not?”

Din.

You nod, taking her hand as he rushes onward, stopping at each hall to peer around the corners until you make your way to a servants stairwell, skipping several steps in your descent until you run out of stairs. You’ve never been down here, you didn’t even know there were dungeons until recently.

It makes your stomach twist in knots the moment you stare into the darkness.

“Are there no guards?” You whisper, squeezing her hand.

“Not for the next hour, I’ve made sure of it.” She begins walking down the poorly lit corridor, pulling you along behind her.

The stone floor is damp and it smells of mildew. Your bare feet are already freezing after just a few steps.

Every cell you pass is lit from the outside with a hanging lantern, they’re mostly empty, but you catch glimpses of movement out of the corner of your eye every now and then. In all honesty you’re doing your best to take in as little as possible, you don’t want to think about Din being down here in such a place, but there’s one element you can’t ignore.

The wailing.

Someone is weeping, a low, sorrowful song filling the vast maze of halls and you realize quickly you’re heading in its direction, Lysa tenses beside you as you continue on. You’re about to turn one more corner when she abruptly stops, turning to face you.

“He needs to eat.” She removes a fistful of rations from her apron pocket, shoving them into your hands.

“He hasn’t?” He’s been down here for three days.

“He won’t… let me.” You pause, cocking your head to the side and she gives you an apologetic look when she turns. “He won’t let me uncover his face.”

Oh.

“I’ll feed him.” You nod slowly, tucking them into your own pockets before turning the corner. The contents of the cell immediately on your right have you stumbling backwards but Lysa is not swayed, pulling a key from her pocket, unlocking the door quickly before handing it to you.

“He’s two cells down, on your right.” She doesn’t look at you as she rushes in, pulling a roll of bandages from her dress. “Shh… it’s okay, I’m here.” Her voice goes soft as she kneels beside Elaine. You can’t help it as you step into the entryway of the cell.

Well, you’ve found the source of the wailing.

She’s sat on a cot, curled in on herself as Lysa carefully peels back a series of soiled bandages from her face.

“I’ve got you, it’s just me.” She continues to make an attempt to sooth a rather hysterical Elaine as she peels back the final layer of bandages and your stomach flips. “You’re okay, love, I need to change these.” You don’t know how Lysa is so calm, even in the darkness you can see the extent of her wounds. Now you know what they brought Kodo last night.

Both eyes.

“She was properly punished, the way someone who observed such a crime with no intervention should be.”

Oh gods.

You’re worried you may collapse as you watch Lysa tend to her with no hesitation, cleaning them with a careful hand before she begins to redress them. You can’t bear to watch any longer as Elaine begins sobbing once more. You try desperately to force the sight of your mutilated friend from your mind as you count down two more cells before quickly fumbling for the lock, letting it hit the floor as you take the lantern outside the door off its hook, bringing it into the dark room.

It isn’t like Elaine’s cell.

There’s no bed or interior light, it’s terribly dark and fetid, his cell running deeper than her’s. It takes a few steps for you to finally illuminate the room enough to see him.

Maker.

What have they done to your Din?

You don’t hear Elaine anymore, there isn't a single thing that could distract you from the scene in front of you. There is nothing but the sight of your kar’ta. There’s too much for you to worry about, you don’t even know where to start, you’re frozen in place, a small part of your brain refuses to recognize the man before you as Din at all. He shouldn’t look like this.

Armorless.

They’ve stripped him of any clothing you recognize, the thought alone makes you nearly lose your dinner.

They took his helmet, replacing it with a linen sack.

Did they see his face?

You briefly have to shut your eyes, taking a deep breath as you take in the rest of him. His clothes are too thin, he must be freezing, they’ve dressed him in a cotton tunic and trousers that end just below the knee. You can see just how beaten and bruised he is. Unlike Elaine he’s in chains, kneeling on the floor with his hands shackled, taut above his head. You swallow the lump in your throat and finally crouch down in front of him, setting the lantern down beside you as you reach out to place a hand on his chest.

“Din…” Your voice cracks and the moment you come in contact with him he flinches back. Suddenly you know how Lysa held it together so well with Elaine, she just had to. You can’t fall apart, who would care for him now if you did? “It’s me, just me. Just me.” You whisper and place a hand over his heart but withdraw it quickly when he trembles under your touch. You ache at the sight of it but more than anything you’re confused, it only takes a moment for you to realize the issue.

He doesn’t have his helmet. They’ve not only left him here blind, but deaf, of course any touch would frighten him.

He assumes you're here to harm him.

You lean in, careful not to come in contact with him as you speak clearly and loudly.

“Din?” His trembling stops instantly. You find it a bit troublesome how much worse his hearing seems to have gotten in such a short time, you’re half tempted to reach under the bag to make sure he still has his ears.

“Sarad?” Oh, Din. His voice is terribly small and it sends you forward, wrapping your arms around him as you pull him into an unreciprocated embrace.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” You make sure to speak loud enough for him before pulling back, placing your hands against the fabric covering his face.

“Are you okay?” He coughs a bit as he asks and you almost laugh at how ridiculous the question is considering the state he’s in. Are you okay?

Technically no.

But far better than he’s doing.

“I’m perfectly fine, what can I do for you? Are you hurting?” You feel his face through the bag as you look down across his body. It doesn’t look like there’s been any permanent damage outside of a pretty nasty cut on one of his legs.

“Don’t worry about me.”

“Now’s not the time to play the hero, Din.” He flinches a little and you calm your tone immediately. What the hell did they do to him? “Just let me help.”

“How’d you get down here?”

“Lysa, she says you aren’t eating.”

“She’d have to lift my- the bag to do it.” He sounds apologetic, as if you could ever fault him for following his creed.

“It’s okay… may I?” You bring your hands to the hem of the bag but his head turns sharply.

“I- I don’t want you to look.”

You have no response. He’s always wanted you to look.

“I just, I don’t think you wanna see the condition I’m in. I don’t want your only memories of my face to be this.” He whispers when you don’t respond.

You should have looked when he asked you to. You should have done a lot of things differently.

You shouldn’t have waited so long to look.

You shouldn't have waited so long to tell him you loved him.

You should have just let yourself love him. Why did you fight it for so long? It seems silly now. If you could do it all again you would have just taken his helmet off the first night you met him and you would have married him right then and there. You would have left Naboo that night.

And you would never keep any of it from him. You would tell him how important he is and how loved he is, you wouldn’t make him wait.

Even now you can’t help it though, censoring yourself out of fear. Do you tell him about how nauseous you get every morning? About the way Lysa stares at your belly when she does your makeup?

No.

It wouldn’t do either of you any good, not when he’s in this situation.

You take hold of the edges of the bag once more, gentler this time.

“I’ll close my eyes.” You lift the fabric completely off of him, setting it in your lap as you simultaneously shut your eyes. You keep one hand on his face, using your thumb to find the corner of his mouth as your other hand fumbles to open a ration bar. You feel him part his lips as you feed him. He’s barely chewing, eating quickly and swallowing most of it whole. “Have they fed you at all?” You whisper as he finishes the first bar in a matter of seconds, his teeth lightly scraping against your fingers before you withdraw them, tearing open another bar.

“No.” His voice is still soft as you go to feed him once more, opening each package until he’s eaten them all.

“Are you still hungry? I could see if Lysa has more.”

“I’m okay.” You let your head fall forward, resting your forehead on his.

“What else can I do for you?”

“Nothing. Being here is enough.”

If you had felt helpless before it was nothing compared to this. This is more than helplessness, it’s despair.

“I’m sorry.” You pull yourself further into his lap, wrapping your arms around him in the process.

“Hey… none of this is your fault.” It certainly feels like it is. Why does he keep comforting you when he’s the one shivering and alone down here?

“Please, there has to be something I can do to help you.”

“There is one thing.” You almost open your eyes, you're so relieved, you just want to ease his pain.

“Anything. I’ll do anything.”

“I need you to promise me you won’t look.”

“Won’t look?” Your eyes are already closed, you couldn’t look any less if you tried.

“When they do it. I don’t want you to see it- it won’t be pretty.”

When they separate his head from his body.

“I won’t.” You can’t deny him this, you’ll give him anything he wants. “Do you know how much I love you?” You whisper before leaning forward another inch to kiss him.

The question is genuine. It terrifies you to your core to think that he may not know just how much you love him.

“Of course sarad.” He murmurs against your lips until you let your head rest on his shoulder, fighting back tears.

What do you say now?

What do you say to a man condemned to death?

“I love you.” You mumble into the thin fabric of his tunic.

“I love you too.” After a moment more with him you hear metal jingling as Lysa locks Elaine's cell once more. You quickly pull back from him, pulling the bag back over his head, once you know he can’t see you anymore the tears flow freely. Lysa steps into the cell and you remove your robe, wrapping it around him, immediately he begins to protest.

“Mesh’la, you can’t leave this here.” His voice is strained and it makes you sick to think he started crying once he was out of sight as well.

“Please, y-you’re gonna freeze.”

“They’ll know you were here, sarad’ika.”

“Din…” You’re practically babbling as Lysa removes your robe from his shoulders, an apologetic look on her face as she grabs your arm.

“Ma’am, I’m sorry, but we need to go.” Tears sting your eyes as Lysa urges you to hurry but you don’t want to leave him, you want to stay, no matter the consequence. You pull away from her, wrapping your arms around his torso.

“You need to go.” His voice is urgent through the fabric as you cling to him tighter.

Would it be easier to just stay? Get caught and join him at the executioners? You’re genuinely considering it when you feel your stomach churn once more and you’re reminded of the exact reason why you can’t stay. Before you lose your nerve and shatter completely you lift the bag, just enough to give you an eyeful of his split lip and bruised jaw as you gently lean in and kiss him one more time.

Doing everything in your power to remember exactly what it feels like.

The curve of his lips and the shape of his chin, the overgrown stubble brushing against your skin as you press your face harder against his, desperation taking over as you taste salt on his lips. You hold him as long as you can, until you hear Lysa urging you to make haste once more.

“I love you.” You press your forehead to his through the fabric, feeling the familiar shape of his face against yours.

“I’ll always be yours.”

That was the last thing he was able to say before you let Lysa drag you out of the dungeons.

☆

It’s like everythings suddenly back to the beginning.

You wake up alone, you go to bed alone, and you wander the castle alone.

There is no plotting or scheming to free Din.

Even if you were a trained killer or bounty hunter, it would be more than difficult to get him out of the dungeon and on a ship off Naboo. It would be even harder to do so when you’re one of the most recognizable people on the planet.

He is buried deep beneath the ground and there is nothing you can do about it.

After all, you're just a doll.

You don’t know when it happened but all your clothes are blue again. Every dress Lysa fetches from the closet is a different shade of blue and all your nightgowns are the color of the sky. A personal brand put on you by Kodo. It’s clearly more than just a preference now, it’s a reminder to you and everyone else that you’re his.

And time blends.

You know a date was set right around the time you visited him. One week until Kodo’s coronation and two until the execution. His first public event after being crowned king will be a death sentence, how fitting.

So you wake.

And you sleep.

And you walk.

Kodo never replaces Din and you haven’t seen Leo since that night, so you’re completely alone. It’s like he’s rubbing in the fact that you’re powerless. There’s no need for you to have a guard, you can’t leave. If you tried you’d be escorted back in an instant.

You tried to convince Lysa to let you see him again last night.

“Please, just a few minutes-“

“I’m sorry ma’am, it’s just not possible. The only reason I was able to get you down there the first time was because the guard that usually lets me in was working nights, he won’t be working nights again until next month.”

Din won’t live to see next month.

“Is he eating?”

“He won’t let me-“

“You need to insist. Tell him I insist, and tell him you’ll close your eyes.”

She pins back a bit of your hair, leaving half up and half down. You both bask in the silence for a moment.

“I’ll make sure he eats.”

“Thank you.”

That had been the last conversation you had with Lysa.

She doesn’t come to dress you in the morning. You think nothing of it and dress yourself in the gown she’d laid out last night. It’s a bit difficult, putting your coronation gown on on your own but eventually you manage, when you’re fully dressed in the obscenely decadent blue fabric you begin to worry.

You have no reason to assume that everything is fine. It would actually make sense for this to be a worst case scenario situation, everything else in your life is right now.

You’re about to leave in search of her but you decide against it. Sitting at the vanity and doing your makeup as quickly as possible, the last thing you need to do right now is give Kodo a reason to be upset with you, you have to be presentable. You smear the shimmering blue eyeshadow across your lids before rushing out of your room.

The halls are full. Servants move quickly from room to room, cleaning every inch as you carefully push through the crowds, making a beeline towards the dining room.

Kodo is seething when you push open the large doors.

He stands at the end of the table, shoving an armored guard as the veins in his neck jut out in his rage.

“Where could she have possibly gone? She’s blind. You’re telling me some blind bitch outsmarted my entire guard?”

Your heart flutters at the thought.

They escaped.

Your hope is shattered the moment Kodo begins speaking again.

“At least we still have the Mandalorian… I want security tripled, guards stationed outside his cell at all times.” He continues grumbling for a moment until he realizes you’re there. “Happy coronation day dear wife! I’m afraid we’ve had a rough morning here, somehow in the night the Togruta girl escaped, do not fret, we’ll find her.”

God's you hope not.

Even if things are worse than ever regarding Din there is one flicker of light in that darkness. Lysa got Elaine out. Knowing that almost puts you at ease.

“Happy coronation day.” You actually manage a smile when you look at your husband, it’s weak but it’s genuine. You want to be mad that they didn’t help Din escape but you just can’t be. You know they most likely tried but if the roles had been reversed and you could only get one of them out you wouldn’t hesitate.��

So there is no animosity. Just a flicker of happiness for them.

They got out.

☆

You were under the impression that a coronation was a happy event. Yet when you step out onto the castle steps it seems to be quite the opposite.

They look miserable.

All of their faces are sullen and dejected. How shocking, no one is excited about Kodo being crowned king. He didn’t have any of the outside of the castle decorated or made presentable in any way. No one reacts when Kodo reads from an ancient looking book until a crown is placed on his head.

A moment afterwards you’re instructed to kneel and a tiara is placed onto your head.

The audience is silent and you feel shame when you stare out at them.

Even if you don’t have very much power you still feel as if you’ve failed them. The feeling follows you when you’re directed to the dining hall with Kodo.

“I have a couple gifts for you, wife.” His twisted smile makes your stomach turn as you enter the dining hall, now decorated with blue and gray banners.

“A gift? You shouldn’t have, my king, I- I didn’t get you anything.” You feign remorse as you take a sip of the wine in front of you on instinct before spitting it back up into the cup.

“That’s more than okay, you’re my gift, sweet wife, all mine.” The thought of such a thing makes you sick, you smile despite yourself.

“That’s very kind.” You’ll only ever be Din’s. No amount of blue fabric and faux smiles can change that. He snaps his fingers and a large box is brought to you by a servant, they set it directly in front of you on the table. You look at Kodo who nods, sitting back in his chair as you stand, the box is wrapped in checkered blue paper, a large bow adorning the top. Your hands tremble a bit as you take hold of the edges of the ribbon, tugging on them until the bow slips free, much to your surprise the entire box falls open, the sides collapsing giving you an immediate view of the contents.

The silver, shimmering contents.

Din’s helmet.

Polished like new, it sits before you, and the room suddenly empties. It’s as if you are completely alone, despite all the eyes that are most definitely pinned on you right now. Your hands continue to shake as your fingers wrap around the beskar steel, like you would when you held Din’s face, lifting it to glare into the visor.

Empty.

You can’t help but stare at your own emptiness reflected back at you.

You want to hold it close, press it to your forehead but you’re snapped back to reality by the grating sound of Kodo’s voice breaking you from your focus on the helm between your hands.

“That’s only one of your presents, open the next one.” He hisses gleefully.

You set the helmet down, realizing there was another, much smaller box underneath it. Silently you scoop it up and cradle it in your hands. It’s a larger than a ring box, it just barely fits in your palm as you ever so gently open it, swinging the top open as if it were a tiny treasure chest.

Huh.

It takes a moment.

You aren’t exactly sure what it is you’re looking at at first but when it registers your entire body tenses up, your grip tightening on the gift box.

Bloody and pink, a tongue.

Of course you know better than to assume Kodo would give you any old tongue. This is a special someone’s tongue.

No, no, no, no, no.

You had loved his tongue before anything else.

He can’t do this, he cannot do this to you.

You had fallen for his sharp wit first, it was what drew you into him. His sweet words had won you back, his declaration of devotion.

Now you hold all of that in the palm of your hand.

“What do we say?” His nasally voice breaks through your mental anguish.

No.

“Come on, where are your manners?”

Please.

“Thank you.” Your whisper is nearly silent as you struggle to keep down the scream bubbling in your throat.

“What was that?”

You clear your throat.

“Thank you.”

He makes you take it with you. You don’t bother telling him you won’t be attending the coronation ball in a few minutes, it’s not like you’ll be missed.

In one arm you’re cradling his helmet, in the other the little blue box.

You set each one down carefully onto the bed, even if it’s a bit demented these are the only parts of him you have left. You stare at the little box.

You have never been hateful.

Kodo made you into this. You are full of hate, for most things at this point. You hate your husband, you hate your room, and most of all you hate the little blue box on the bed.

And the music starts.

It must be deafening in the hall for you to hear it from your room but it’s there, loud and demanding of your attention.

You’re moving before you even have a chance to think about it, in a few quick strides you’re standing beside the vanity, your hands gripping the top of the mirror as you pull it down in one swift motion, the contents spill everywhere and the glass shatters in an instant, shards splattering the floor but you take no time to process it.

You move on to the next thing.

You yank each drawer from the dresser, throwing them to the floor, clothes strewn about until it’s light enough for you to push the entire dresser over. In your frenzy you go about the room toppling every stupid fucking table over. So many fucking end tables in one room, and you throw everyone to the floor, trinkets and vases clattering to the ground as you destroy the room. You get a rush of adrenaline as you lift one of your nightstands and throw it against the wall leaving a small dent but more importantly the force of it makes anything hanging on the wall tumble to the floor, glass frames shatter.

Your chest heaves as you stare at the carnage.

And it isn’t enough.

Your face is wet with tears and your hands with blood from cuts you didn’t feel upon your skin as you tear open the closet door, the pile of blankets mock you from the floor, you grab them, your vision now blurry with tears as you pull them out of the closet, throwing them onto your bedroom floor. When you return to the closet you’re in a frenzy, you tear at the fabric before you, yanking each and every dress off their hangers, ripping what you can.

There is nothing else for you to do, so you destroy everything you can get your hands on until the only thing left untouched is your bed, left in pristine condition as you let out a small sob.

Maybe you are a hateful person now.

You feel as though you have every right to be at this point.

You step over the shard of glass, giving your bloody hands a glance before wiping them on your gown.

Happy coronation day.

You sit on the bed, your trembling fingers wrap around the helmet, now that you’re alone you waste no time to hold it against you face, until your body just gives up, too tired to stay awake anymore.

☆

A guard wakes you in the morning, knocking on your door, when you answer it they tell you Kodo requires your presence in his chambers.

You dress in a blue gown that you don’t look too closely at. Stopping at the fresher on the way, rinsing the dried gore from your palms, wincing as you clean your wounds. None of which seem too deep.

You want to cut Kodo’s tongue out, to make him feel it. But you know that sort of thing would be an impossible task. So you daydream about it as you walk. You’re more than displeased when you open the door and are greeted by Leodall. You hadn’t seen him since that night and from the looks of it he wasn’t expecting you. He swallows loudly when you step inside Kodo’s room.

Normally you’d be curious, you’d probably take a look around but your eyes refuse to focus on anything but Leo as you scowl at him.

“Why’d you do it?” You don’t hesitate to ask, you have no idea how quickly Kodo will be joining you.

He simply stares at you, shame apparent on his face.

“You owe me an explanation at the very least.” You cross your arms in front of your chest as he clears his throat.

“I thought he’d reward me.”

You laugh. A harsh dry sound

“What could he have possibly given you that you couldn’t have just asked me for?” Your gaze never softens and you’re practically seeing red as you stare at him.

“I thought he’d give me a lordship.”

You can’t help it as another crisp and pained laugh slips past your lips.

“You thought Kodo would raise your status? I thought you were supposed to be smart.” Is he an idiot? “He doesn’t see servants as people, if you wanted such a thing you could have asked me, maybe I could have done something.”

A glimmer of something similar to hope flashes through his eyes.

“Would you- would you consider doing so now?”

“You cannot be serious-” Your expression goes from fury to disbelief as you stand.

“It seemed worth asking.” He puts his hands up defensively as you storm up to him, poking a finger into his face.

“You slimy little weasel, it should be you on the chopping block, not him. If it were up to me I’d have them put your head on a spike.” The words pour out of you like venom.

“I would be nicer to me if I were you.” He sneers and your incredulity only grows. You can’t help it, you scoff in his face.

“I would rather die.” A part of you really means it.

“You might if you aren’t careful, I saved your life by letting Elaine and your Mandalorian take the fall, I could have told the king that you were a willing participant. I saw the two of you together, I read your little rules. He never forced himself on you. I wonder what Kodo might think about that.” You aren’t a fighter, you’ve never so much as thrown a punch in your life but you grab him by the collar of his shirt and slam him into the wall, the back of his head hits the stone and you don’t feel an ounce of remorse as you do so.

“Do it.” You tilt your head to the side, almost as if you’re taunting him. “Tell him.” Any of the confidence he briefly had is gone in an instant. “The moment you do I’ll tell him that you’re covering your tracks, and that you made a pass at me. I wonder how Kodo would reward you for trying to touch what’s his?” Leo’s head turns as you both hear Kodo’s piercing voice in the hall. You release your grip on his shirt, brushing off your gown as you turn towards the door. Kodo and three others make their way into the room as Leo coughs behind you.

“Dear wife, I have another gift for you.” He takes a step to the side, gesturing at a line of three people you don’t give so much as a glance. He doesn’t even seem to notice the obvious tension in the room. “A new staff!”

“I don’t need a new staff, I’m fine on my own.” You abandon the pleasantries. You’re in such a state of upset right now, what's the point?

“You’re the queen now, staff is required. These three will replace the ones you've lost in a week, until then Leodall will be training them intensively to tend to your every need. Two guards will also be assigned to you but I promise they will be much less loathsome than your Mandalorian.”

All five of them will be trained to keep an eye on you. To report back to Kodo, after everything with Din you should have known he’d keep you on a shorter leash.

You barely look at them.

You hate them.

You shouldn’t, they’ve done nothing wrong, but you hate them.

You give each one a quick up and down, naming them in your mind.

A BD-3000 droid commands the most authority just based on how she stands so you mentally note her as Elaine's replacement. You’ll call her new Elaine.

New Lysa is a pasty young blonde woman with rosy cheeks. You truly wonder how well informed she has been on your circumstance. She’s smiling from ear to ear and seemingly couldn’t be happier to be here.

And new Leo is somehow even more nervous looking than actual Leo, practically shaking like a leaf at the sight of you. The bags under his eyes are worse than your own. A lanky thing with messy brown hair.

There’s no reason for you to fight this, Kodo always gets his way so why bother. So you nod. You don’t pretend to be grateful this time, instead you shove your way past all of them, content to return to your room and never leave.

☆

The morning of the execution comes before you’re ready for it.

Of course you didn’t sleep last night, how could you?

You dress yourself, apparently your new staff isn’t starting until tomorrow, not that you mind another day to yourself. You manage to find something that isn’t blue, a gray dress trimmed with gold, the closest thing you’ll find to funeral attire. No one else will dress with any respect for him but they can’t stop you. Your vanity is destroyed so you don’t bother with your hair or your makeup, you simply don’t care enough.

For the most part you feel nothing when you open the door, only emptiness until you look down.

Someone left you a small vase of flowers.

You pick them up, taking a closer look but your heart skips a beat when you do so.

Daisies.

After a few short breaths you throw the vase into the wall across from your door, tiny shards of porcelain fly everywhere as two servants at the end of the hall give you a look of horror. Your shoes crunch over the remains of it as you make your way down the hall and to the entryway of the castle.

Kodo insists that the two of you get to see him first.

You’re sweating wildly out on the steps as you wait.

Long before you’re ready for it they bring him out.

A shivering skeleton of a man with a linen bag over his head, immediately bile rises in your throat. Kodo is grinning ear to ear when his legs are kicked out from under him and he’s forced to kneel.

Kodo himself reaches forward and tears the bag off, too excited for any decorum or finesse.

You gasp as you stare down at the broken man before you.

In all honesty he isn’t at all what you envisioned.

His eyes verge on being hazel; they're such a light brown. You’d always pictured them to be nearly black. It doesn’t matter what color they are though, when you see the tears forming in his lash line you flinch, clutching the ring on your necklace to silently let him know silently just how much he means to you.

He’s a mess.

You don’t like looking at what those weeks in the dungeons did to him and the last thing you need to do right now is empty your stomach on the palace steps.

He’s too thin. Far, far, too thin, it’s like his entire being has shrunk down. He’s hollow.

Your breath hitches when Kodo grabs a fistful of his dark hair, forcing him to turn and stare at the crowd. They must have cut it while he was down there it’s a mess, jagged edges and shorter than you’re used to.

“This man has committed an act of treason against the crown.” His voice is loud and booming as the city goes quiet. “For such a crime he shall face the proper punishment.” He yanks him downawards, you watch in horror as Din’s head hits the stone, an incoherent mess of sounds pour from his bloody mouth and you have to look away.

He didn’t want you to look.

You remind yourself to try and calm your breathing. You can hear the scuffle as they drag him to the guillotine, placing his neck into the wooden divot, your heart threatening to beat out of your chest as you turn to look. His eyes are everywhere but on you as he looks at the people around him, desperately pleading for his life. Not a single person so much as glances at him, afterall, it’s just nonsense, no one can understand him without a tongue.

You can’t stand it, you almost cover your ears but you manage to resist as Kodo puts an arm around your waist, pulling you close to him.

“You’re welcome, sweet wife.” He whispers, his breath hot and wet against your ear.

Fuck it.

You don’t suppress the shudder in your spine as you shoot him a look of disgust. In a matter of moments everything you care about will be gone, why pretend any longer.

A bellowing chime plays from a nearby clock tower and you know it’s time, you straighten up as you stare at the guillotine in abject horror.

This is it.

Your chest rises and falls in sharp short bursts as everyone prepares themselves, a hush forming among the crowd on the street.

And it begins, a chain reaction that you cannot stop now that the executioner has his ax raised above his head.

You had expected more. More time.

A part of you thought that time would slow, that you’d have a chance to stop it.

But no.

There is no epic fairy tale moment where the sun glimmers off of the blade and the executioner raises his ax, giving you this perfect moment to run to him, to shield him from the inevitable, to beg them to take you with him.

That moment never comes.

You barely have enough time to close your eyes like you promised him. In one unbroken motion the rope is cut, the blade falls and boom.

Just like that, he’s gone.

When you hear the metal slicing through the air you squeeze your eyes shut, hearing only the wet crunch as it cuts through flesh and bone. A soft, squishy thud when his head hits the stone.

In fashion with your decision to no longer hide your disgust from Kodo you vomit. Bending down you puke onto the stones, spraying your own, and Kodo’s feet. The triumphant smile on his face vanishes as he realizes what’s happened. You wipe your mouth on the back of your hand, refusing to look at Din’s limp body as you give Kodo one last look of detestation before turning around and running back into the castle, not caring what anyone thinks anymore.

The moment you’re inside the reality of it all settles in as you feel tears falling wildly as you run up the steps to your room.

☆

You have been good, and kind, and in return the maker rewarded you by killing the love of your life.

So when you stand in the center of your demolished room you do the only thing your body can do at this point.

You scream.

From deep within your stomach, you scream, loud and raw.

If anything was left unbroken in your room you’d be throwing it at the wall. But there’s nothing so you scream.

You shriek.

You howl.

And you wail.

You scream until there is no more noise. Your voice, like the rest of you, gives up.

You aren’t sure how late it is when you finally stop. You’re tired and it’s dark outside and your throat is raw.

And you lay on the floor. Because the bed is too big, and too cold, and the closet is so empty. So the only place left to sleep is there. You lay on the floor with no more tears to cry and no more sounds to scream as you stare at your bed, only from this angle can you see a rectangular shape under your bed frame.

You wipe your nose with a stray piece of fabric before slowly crawling over to it, you sit on the floor and when you retrieve the item a brand new lump forms in your throat as you stare down at the box Din had bought all those days ago at the market.

Your failsafe.

With quivering hands you open it, staring into the small space containing a mess of items but what catches your eye is a piece of folded paper with your name on it. You take it between your fingers, opening it, careful to not let your tears fall onto it.

Sarad’ika,

If you’re reading this then I’m afraid things aren’t going all that well for me. There are plenty of possible reasons as to why I’m no longer with you, but what’s important is that I plan on doing everything in my power to get back to you. There is only one thing in the galaxy that could keep me from your side, and if that is my fate then this box will ensure you’re taken care of.

The most important thing is for you to get off this planet. I have included a few possible plans for you, do what you have to to survive. Elaine will help you escape.

You can seek out Greef Karga on Nevarro. Tell him Din Djarin sent you, tell him what’s happened and he will see to it that you are cared for. Explain our circumstances and I am certain he will provide you with safe lodging.

Tatooine is also an option. You’ll find a Mandalorian there by the name of Boba Fett, he will not turn you away. You will be protected there, if you need to relocate for some reason after that he will help you locate the Mandalorian convert. Show the Mandalorians your ring and you will be cared for the rest of your life, the convert will protect you.

As an absolute last resort there is a planet located in the Outer Ring called Ossus. There is a school there, taught by a man named Luke Skywalker. I doubt he would be eager to take you in but you must insist. Bring the chainmail, they’ll know who sent you. Take care of each other.

In this box you will find enough credits to get you off planet and take care of you for several months, a year if you’re frugal, I suggest you take a few jewelry pieces to pawn off for extra credits as well. You will find a small chainmail shirt, and a necklace of mine.

And lastly you will find your vibroblade.

Protect yourself. You’re strong, and more than capable of doing so.

I have one request for you, please, I will only ask this one thing of you.

Be smart.

You are the smartest and kindest person I have ever had the honor of knowing. Be smart, take care of yourself. If the roles were reversed I know that I would go to extremes to either get you back, or find justice for you. And all I can do is ask that you do not attempt any such thing, the only thing I would ever want for you is safety and happiness.

So seek those things out.

Be safe. Be happy.

I was lucky to know you, and even luckier to be yours.

an ner kar'taylir darasuum,

Din

All my love.

You flip the paper over, desperate for more, more Din, but all you find is scrawled coordinates to each location. Your fingers sift through the items, everything he promised is found inside but you latch onto the blade. Laying back down on the floor you clutch it between your fingers as you think of Din.

Din, who was yours.

Din, who they took from you.

Who Kodo, took from you.

And your grip on the knife tightens.

☆

Two guards stand outside your door round the clock now.

They never follow you or come into your room but they’re there, silently watching as you direct all your anger at your new staff. As promised Leo trained them to be as persistent and infuriating as he was.

When the two new girls come to fetch you in the morning you can’t help it when you scream at them to leave you alone and to stop trying to clean the ever growing mess of things.

It doesn’t matter that it isn’t their fault, you can’t stand the sight of anyone.

All three of them try. New Elaine and Lysa show up three times a day, trying to dress you and squeeze their way past you into the room but after enough shrieking they always leave you be.

New Leo usually tries once or twice a day, you don’t even look at him. You always stare at the floor, when he tries to speak you give him the same treatment as the girls, screaming at him and slamming the door.

Why should you let them in? You know what they are. They’re here to spy on you, to be Kodo’s eyes while he’s busy being king. They’re easy to evade. When you leave to fetch yourself food or a book from the library you easily outrun them. The two girls are worse at navigating the castle than you were when you first arrived and new Leo has a bad leg, sometimes he’ll make attempts to limp after you but they’re always unsuccessful.

You think of nothing, day after day because there is nothing to think about.

Except for the fact that Kodo took your future away from you. He took everything from you.

If you thought time was blending before Din’s death nothing could have prepared you for now. You don’t track the days as well, you keep your curtains drawn and only leave when you get hungry or start to think of Din. The last thing you need to do is have another screaming fit so you keep him locked away in your heart, an ache that’s always there that you don’t address.

One day, in a fit of tears you took your knife and decided on a whim to kill Kodo. You didn’t care about the repercussions at that point you just wanted him to suffer but the moment you opened the door you nearly tripped, stumbling backwards the guards didn’t so much as glance at you.

Another vase of flowers.

You’re tempted to just kick them down the hall but you can’t help yourself when you lean down to pick them up.

A bouquet of blue lilies. Your nose twitches at the sight of them, out of the corner of your eye you see new Lysa and new Elaine approaching so you take the opportunity to slam the little glass vase into the stone floor. Glaring at them when you do before returning to your room.

☆

Maybe it’s been three days since Din died.

Maybe it’s been three months.

You aren’t sure.

You aren’t sure when you made plans to kill Kodo either but suddenly you have them. A fool proof way to get him alone.

And suddenly you’re dressed for the first time in, well, however long it’s been. In a baby blue nightie with a robe you march out into the hall. The guards watch in silence as you walk away, your bare feet scampering down the stairs until you find yourself watching the main entrance. Waiting for your loving husband to make his nightly trip to a pleasure house, a trip that is typically accompanied by guards.

You grip the handle of the knife in your pocket as you wait until you finally hear footsteps approaching.

“Kodo, honey?” You step out from behind the stone column, holding your robe closed as you bat your eyelashes at him. He stumbles around drunkenly until his eyes focus on you.

You’ve only used your voice for screaming for so long you sound meek, exactly as you want to right now.

“Wife?”

“I thought maybe you’d like to join me tonight…” You hold a hand out towards him, putting on a sickly sweet tone of innocence. His mouth twists into a grin.

“I knew you’d come around eventually.”

He doesn’t question where you’re taking him, he simply follows.

What a joke.

You pull him up the stairs, you know from hide and seek where to find an empty room so you guide him there in calculated silence until he trips a bit, laughing to himself as he stutters.

“I knew if I got rid of the Mandalorian you’d realize how much better I am than him.” The statement doesn’t sit right with you and he can see it on your face, even in his drunken state he can sense your confusion.

You both stop, you’re above him on the stairs as you turn and stare into his eyes.

“You- you knew?”

He simply nods, that sickening smile of his is plastered on his face. His icy blue eyes shimmer with delight.

“How long?”

“When Leo told me I remembered everything. That little altercation in the hall when your boy knocked me out came right back to me, from there it wasn’t hard to figure out.” Your eye twitches as he speaks.

He knew you loved him and he took him from you anyway.

Any hesitations you had are gone as you nod, pulling him onward until you reach the large vacant tower room. He’s so drunk you decide to just drop the voice, pointing at a spot on the floor.

“Lay down.” You mumble, reaching into your pocket once more.

He eagerly does as he’s told, laying down on the cold stone, you take a deep breath, in one swift motion you grab your knife, holding it behind your back as you toss your robe aside. He gives you a toothy grin as you ever so slowly walk to him, standing above him before sitting, straddling his waist.

You look him up and down, one last time.

Your loving husband.

One of his hands plays with the blue lace of your nightie as you collect yourself. You look up at the ceiling briefly.

I’m sorry.

Not for Kodo, but for Din. This is exactly what he didn’t want you to do.

You aren’t a killer. And you aren’t hateful, but a person can only be pushed so far before something breaks.

Be smart.

You think of Din’s note one last time before you bring the blade out in front of you and slam the blade into Kodo’s chest.

He makes a sickly wet sound, coughing as he stares at you in shock.

You remove the knife, the hot steel cauterizes his wounds, there isn’t so much as a drop of blood as your face twists with fury and you bring it down again into his stomach now.

How dare he look surprised by any of this.

After what he took from you? He deserves galaxies worse.

So you remove the knife.

And you stab him again.

And again,

and again,

and again.

Until there is no more shocked look on his face. You don’t have a snarky remark or a statement to commemorate your revenge, you’re all used up at this point, all you have is this, this stabbing motion.

He didn’t even have a chance to fight back.

You crawl off of his body, sitting on the stones as you toss the knife to the side, waiting for a rush of euphoria.

But it never comes.

It doesn’t feel as good as you thought it would.

Staring down at Kodo’s lifeless body. You let yourself crumble. Collapsing down onto the floor, gasping for air as you sob.

This was never going to bring him back.

You lay there on your hands and knees for quite some time, just wailing, because what else are you supposed to do right now? You realize far too late that this was never an act of malice, some demented and shattered part of you thought that this would somehow bring him back, that it would give you peace.

They won’t execute you.

You planned this exactly so they wouldn’t.

Kodo didn’t tell anyone about your relationship with Din in much detail, not enough for them to assume that you could be with child. Everyone will assume that it’s Kodo’s. They won’t kill you, they can’t.

Not if they think you’re carrying Kodo’s child. Now that Kodo’s dead, there’s no one to tell the royal family that you never consummated your marriage, your child is the most well protected person on the planet. The future monarch. It’s almost funny, you haven’t permitted yourself to think about the stirring within you as a child until just now, in this moment of weakness. A child, your child.

Who will most likely grow up without a mother because of the decisions you've made today.

You bite your fist, swallowing a scream as you sit back on your heels.

Your child will never know how loved they were. Your little one will never get to sit beside their mother while their father teaches them to sew. You put your head in your hands as you wail, no longer caring who hears. Your fate is sealed, what does it matter?

You don’t turn when you hear someone coming up the stairs. When they pull you into their arms you try uselessly to shove them away. Your vision is blurry and filled with tears as you stare up at the unfamiliar figure now holding you. They rub your back, drawing swirls and stars against your spine as they pull you closer.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you.” They mumble into your hair. You dry your eyes hastily on your sleeve, confused by the voice you’re hearing, it’s painfully familiar, on instinct you wrap your arms around their torso, pulling yourself into their lap as you both sit on the floor beside Kodo’s body. “You’re okay, I’m here.”

“I’m- I’m sorry.” You whisper against the stranger's shirt. You knew you weren’t hateful. You’re certain of it now because even though he took quite literally everything from you, you still feel bad when you look at Kodo.

A large hand cups your face, pulling you back to their chest so you can’t see the corpse anymore.

“I didn’t mean it- I- I didn’t mean to kill him. Well I did but I just-” You begin to ramble as a fresh flood of tears begin sliding down your cheeks.

“Hey- hey it’s okay. I know you didn’t mean it. We gotta get you cleaned up, okay? I’ll take care of this, I’ll fix it.” Their arms tighten around you, giving you a reassuring squeeze. You finally find the courage to look at your companion and it takes a moment for you to even realize who you’re looking at.

New Leo.

Why would he help you? You treat him like shit. When you look at him he looks like he’s about to cry and for the first time since Din was taken from you drop the walls you’ve put up and you let yourself feel bad for him. You show an ounce of kindness to him because in all honesty he’s the first person to make you feel safe since the night Din was taken from you.

A lighthouse while you sail through a storm.

So you hug him.

You pull yourself closer to him and you offer him a comfort you haven’t known for days.

“I’m sorry… for all of it, but especially the flowers, I should have told you, I just- you wouldn’t let me and the guards wouldn’t let me in without your permission and you just wouldn’t look at me.” He begins to mumble his own apologies, sending a surge of confusion through you.

You furrow your brows, pulling back once more giving him a perplexed look as you search his nearly black eyes for some kind of answer.

And it clicks.

All at once it snaps into place and you want to say his name, so desperately, but you’re terribly afraid of being wrong.

And then he smiles. A soft smile that makes you feel okay and you don’t even care if you’re wrong and you don’t care if it doesn’t make sense you just have to ask.

“Din?”

☆

a/n : yeah so uhhhhh yeah uhhhh this is the first chapter i've ever written where im actually very fond of the writing and nervous about the plot stuff so im gonna go hide?? and just vanish for a while lol

I don't have a tag list anymore !! follow @lincolndjarinnotifs for updates!!

#lincolndjarin #the mandalorian #best kept secret #bks #din djarin #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian fanfiction #the mandalorian x you #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #din djarin fanfiction #mandalorian smut #din djarin smut #pedro pascal #din djarin/reader #din djarin/you

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cottonlemonade · 12 days

Note

Hi there! could i get a medium to large mango with boba for tsukishima! i really love your work

Just A Dream

word count: 806 || avg. reading time: 3 mins.

pairing: post-time skip husband Tsukishima x chubby!Reader

genre: this has it all - for some reason, fluff, a pinch of angst and a dash of spice

warnings: mdni, nsfw

__________________________________

Kei woke with a start. Fumbling fingers reached for the glasses on his nightstand. It was absurd, of course you‘d lay next to him when he turned around. Right? He swallowed and looked over to the other side of the bed. Sure enough, in the dark he could just make out your soft curves under the blanket, gently rising and falling in a deep peaceful sleep. He let out a sigh. It was just a dream. You hadn‘t really fought, he hadn‘t made you cry, you hadn‘t been disappointed in him. You hadn‘t left. But nevertheless, the panic in his chest felt real. He should make sure to prevent his nightmare from ever becoming reality. What an absurd thought. Or was it?

He leaned over and, his eyes now accustomed to the night, admired your features. The cute chubby cheeks all smooshed together, making you look impossibly adorable. How he ever got you to fall in love with him he‘d never know. He felt like going down that road of thought was not exactly safe for him. Your husband brushed a strand of your hair behind your ear and with a touch light as a feather kissed your temple before getting out of bed.

First things first.

He headed to the kitchen to grab some water, emptying the cup in deep gulps, feeling his pulse settling down.

Quietly, he reached into the cupboards to set the table for breakfast the next morning and once he was satisfied with his work, grabbed his phone. He had used this service many times before but it had probably been months since the last time he even got you flowers. He bit his lips, scolding himself, as he selected a bouquet of your favorites to be sent to your office some time next week as a surprise. Then he stood in the dimly lit living room, looking around for inspiration. What else could he do? What would Tadashi or Akiteru do?

Didn‘t his friend just tell him last weekend that he always included a little love note in his wife‘s lunch box?

Now, Kei, as gifted of a man as he was, didn‘t cook that well. He was decent with ramen and could fry a mean egg but his skills were definitely not enough for a bento. Plus, technically it was Sunday tomorrow and it wouldn‘t make sense for the lunch box to sit around a whole day. But… he could do the love note. How cheesy. Would you even like it if he did? He sighed again. Only one way to find out. He rummaged around in his desk and found a little note pad you had gifted him as a joke last Valentine‘s day - two brachiosauruses forming a heart with their long necks. He cringed when he reached for a pen. But it had to be done. No stone should remain unturned in his endeavor to prove his love for you. With gritted teeth he wrote one note after another, but they all sounded too out there, too much, insincere.

So in the end after several crumpled dino post-its he wrote I love you, x K and, before he could change his mind, quickly stuck it into your day planner for you to find on Monday.

After another thorough check on the kitchen table to make sure he didn‘t forget any dishes, he made his way back to the bedroom. His feet, cold from the wooden floor, slipped underneath the blanket and he pulled you close to wipe away the very last remnants of panic clinging to his heart. You were right here in his arms, still asleep, still unbearably gorgeous. Kei buried his face in your hair and took a deep calming breath.

He supposed there was one more way he could show you his love tonight…

Kisses pressed to your shoulder and neck made you stir against him.

“Kei?“

You turned around, sleepily rubbing your eyes. He brought his hand from your hips up to your breasts and squeezed them gently, just the way you liked, ghosting his fingertips over your hardening nipples.

“Mmh… Kei… what?“

“I need you, sweetheart.“, he muttered. You couldn‘t know that he meant it in more ways than one.

You let out a tiny sleepy giggle. “Is that so? Well, no complaints here.“

He kissed you, elated when you immediately opened your mouth for him to deepen his affection.

“Can I … ah, y/n… can I be inside you?“

“As if I could ever say no to you…“

He raised your nightgown above your head, relishing in the sight before him - his beautiful naked wife smiling up at him.

When he entered you slowly a few moments later he felt beyond relieved. It had all just been a dream and yet, he still couldn‘t believe his luck.

__________________________________

a/n: this one got away from me - I’m so sorry for the added angst! I hope it’s still fine. Thank you so much for your request and your kind words and I love your writing, too!! 🌱

for requests see here

#sunnys lemonade stand #tsukishima x chubby reader #haikyuu x chubby reader #chubby reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu smut #haikyuu x reader #tsukishima fluff #tsukki x chubby reader #tsukki smut #haikyuu tsukki #hq tsukki #tsukishima kei x chubby reader #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima smut #haikyuu tsukishima #tsukki x reader #tsukishima kei

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storiesfromafan · 2 months

Text

Reflection

A/N: Hi, long time no post. My bad. Have had some writers block, which I can't say it gone haha. Will do my best to keep posting once I have done more writing.

This is a sequel to The Argument, for those patiently waiting. Sorry if it's not that good, been working on this for two days. This was the result haha.

Pairing: Mattheo Riddle x Fem!Reader

The first week without Mattheo Riddle was hard, left cold from his words. The second week without Mattheo Riddle was sad, missing his presence and affection. The third week without Mattheo Riddle you focused on your schoolwork and friendships. The fourth week without Mattheo Riddle was spent reflecting on your relationship, and all the red flags that now were so obvious.

But mixed in with the red flags and toxicity of your relationship were positive and good things. The notes he would pass to you, scribbled in his writing were words that made your heart warm. It wasn’t always his words per say, sometimes borrowed poetry to express what he couldn’t say in his own words. Or how he would always open a door and allow you to enter before him or pull out your chair for you to take a seat. Not to mention when walking the grounds, he would always be ready to put himself in harm’s way to protect you.

Besides all the good things of your relationship, you couldn’t forget the possessive and jealous nature inside Mattheo. Part of you understood the reasoning behind it. But you had chosen him, no one else. Wasn’t that good enough? Apparently not.

Sitting up in your bed, the rooms curtain’s open and allowing the morning light into your dorm room, you sleepily noted two of your roommate’s were already gone while the remaining girl was dressed, making her bed. Taking that as a sign to get yourself moving, you reluctantly got up and headed for the connecting bathroom. Slowly you woke up as you brushed your teeth and combed your hair, before returning to your room to make your bed and dress for the day. Once happy with everything, you made your way to breakfast.

Saturday mornings were always the best, for it was the start of the weekend. Which meant no classes. And you could travel into Hogsmeade! You looked forward to going into the small town outside of the school. It was a wonderful way to refresh yourself, and a butterbeer with Mattheo was always good. With that thought you froze, stopping in a hallway not far from The Great Hall. The ache returned to your chest at the thought of your ex-boyfriend.

How Hogsmeade trips together were what got you through the week. Casual dates at The Three Broomsticks together, cuddled up in a corner drinking butterbeer together. So many fond moments there together. Now it felt cold, gloomy.

No, you told yourself. He does not get to take that away from you!

Agreeing with yourself you ventured on to breakfast, before making plans with Pansy to go to Hogsmeade together. The walk to the town was mostly quiet, except for small talk. Pansy wasn’t sure what to say to you. After your breakup, you spent the night talking and crying to the dark-haired girl. Pansy did everything she could to be there for you; listening, cursing Mattheo, comforting you and holding you up. You might have pulled the pin, and Mattheo would have been hurting, but you were the one to have exploded, heart being blown to smithereens.

The sudden familiar sounding laughter hit your ears, and upon looking ahead of you and Pansy was Draco, his lackeys and Mattheo. Seeing him sent a cold shiver down your spine. You had done everything outside of classes and meals, to avoid him. But here he was now, before you as you moved closer to Hogsmeade. The Slytherin males were hanging out around one of the entrances to the town. You averted your gaze of your ex, while Pansy reluctantly stopped to speak with Draco when he called her over. You had planned to continue into Hogsmeade and wait for Pansy to catch up. But Draco had other plans.

“(Y/L/N)!” Draco called. “What’s the rush? Unless it’s Riddle, you’re avoiding” he laughed, along with his lackeys while Pansy scolded him.

You stopped, taking a deep breath to calm yourself. “Not at all Malfoy. Just wanted a chance to get a butterbeer or two before you lot pile into The Three Broomsticks and ruin the atmosphere”.

Yes, it was snarky. But he deserved it. Draco was always a pompous ass, but that’s thanks to his daddy. Yet you thought how worse Draco was to Mattheo. Your ex could be a pompous ass, but it wasn’t consistent. He was only a pompous ass when guys were around you, which still wasn’t a good excuse. Mattheo didn’t walk around like his shit didn’t stink, nor did he throw around his father’s name or anyone close to him with any shred of power. He was like everyone else.

“I’ll meet you in Hogsmeade Pansy” was all you said before turning from the group and continuing into the gloomy town.

Mattheo watched you walk away, again. And just like the first time it hurt. Any moment with you around, not talking to you or holding you, hurt his heart. He curses himself every second for what he did and said. His stupid mouth gets him into a lot of trouble, but this time it lost him the one person who mattered.

With a small comment of seeing them later, Mattheo put his hands in his pockets and took off to the Shrieking Shack. He wanted to be alone. He needed to catch himself before he did something stupid. This past month Mattheo spent his time in his own kind of hellish reflection. It was mostly spent recalling those words he said to you:

“Oh please. Any guy gives you attention and you’d run off with them. After all I showed the slightest interest, and you became a puppy that would follow me everywhere”.

“Y/N, you would let any guy have you if it meant not being alone”.

Leaning against a tree, hoping he was out of anyone’s line of view, Mattheo clutched at his brown curly locks and pulled them. The same curly locks you would mindlessly play with; twirling a curl around your finger, brushing back from his face, pulling when he made a smartass comment. Now they were just another reminder.

He felt himself cracking from the most interaction with you in a month. And he had no one to blame then himself. And blame himself he did, religiously.

xoxoxox

You finally caught up with Pansy some time after you ventured on. You both did some light shopping in relative silence, before retiring to The Three Broomsticks. Perched in a quiet corner, warm butterbeer in hand, you both savored your first taste of the reward at the end of a Hogsmeade trip.

“Why does butterbeer go down so well?” Pansy mused, not entirely hoping for an answer.

“Maybe its being out in the cool weather all day, and the warmth is a welcome comfort” you replied looking at your drink in thought.

Maybe it was the company too that decides how well a butterbeer goes down. Drinking with those you are close to makes it better, a social drink with good banter. But then there is sharing a butterbeer with someone dear to you, the person you adore more than anyone. Memories of cuddling up to Mattheo came back to mind. You stiffened, taking a sharp breath, that Pansy didn’t miss. She put down her butterbeer before placing her hand over yours, making you jump.

“I know” she said softly, voice calm with a touch of knowing. “It’s alright to remember the times with him. It can either be a reminder of what’s missing or a lesson to learn from. Ultimately, it’s your choice on which one it is”.

With that Pansy removed her hand and went back to drinking her drink. Not mentioning him again. She said her piece. For Pansy had seen the torment Mattheo was putting himself through. As well as your own heartache. She wasn’t fond of what Mattheo said, or how he acted. But she knew you both were meant to be together. Yet she wouldn’t get involved. You both needed to work through it yourselves and make the decisions yourselves.

No sooner had you finished your butterbeer did the loud voices of Draco and his lackeys came floating into The Three Broomsticks. They took to a set of tables across the room from you both. The somewhat comfortable atmosphere you and Pansy had been present for was now ruined by the loud chatting and laughter. And in the end, you both decided it was time to head back to the castle.

By this time there were a few other students on their way back to the castle, and you both had a couple other Slytherin girls join you on your walk back. As you came to the joining road that led to The Dark Forest, you decided to hang back and watch the lake. Pansy shot you a concerned look, but with a small smile from you, she nodded and let you be.

So, leaning against the wall, you looked out over the lake. After today’s trip you needed some processing time. You wanted nothing more than to push back the thoughts of Mattheo, push everything into a book that you would slam close and file on a shelf in your mind, putting it in the past. But its funny how the mind and heart work against that wish. Pansy words had stuck with you, shedding new light on it all. You did the only thing that you could think to deal with her words, mentally you made a Pro’s and Con’s list.

When you had completed the list, the Con’s had outweighed the Pro’s but two things. That meant it was best to leave Mattheo as a lesson learned. With that thought you felt the ache in your heart stronger then ever before. Why did it hurt to label him a lesson?

Because you love him, you told yourself. It’s hard to put that part away. Love is not something you can turn off or throw away.

You glared out at the lake, not so happy with yourself. Because you know its right. You love Mattheo, and you can’t put that away in a book on a shelf in yourself. And you also know that no one is perfect. Even thought Mattheo was a pompous ass, jealous and possessive, there was more to him. His action always spoke loudly, he cared and took care of you. He never made you feel scared of him, just angry by what he would say or do. You felt safe, secure and loved with him.

The sound of crunching snow caught your attention, standing up you turned and expected to see another student. Unfortunately, it was none other than Mattheo. He stopped in his tracks. You both stared at each other, eyes locked together. Neither knew what to do or say. Finally, you came back to your senses, and flight mode kicked in. Turning from the gorgeous male before you, you started to make a move to head for the castle.

Mattheo was quick to react, moving forward and grabbing your arm, stopping you in your tracks. You turned to look at him, silently asking for him to let you go. But he wouldn’t. He wasn’t sure why he did this; he had no idea what to say to you. Mattheo had decided to admit defeat. He slowly released your arm.

“Sorry” Mattheo said softly, voice a touch croaky.

Which for the first time led you to take a good look at the boy before you. His hair looked to have lost some shiny, while his curled looked droopy. He looked paler than usual, with light bags under his eyes, that also looked red. Had Mattheo been crying? There was another round of aching in your chest. Mattheo was hurting like you.

“I know I’m the last person you want to speak too…” he paused, silently giving you a chance to tell him to get lost and walk away, but you didn’t. “I don’t know why I stopped you, if I’m being honest”.

You nodded your head, not sure what to say. Or even if you should speak.

“Seeing you today, earlier…” he ran a hand threw his droopy curled locks, “it’s had me thinking…”

Again, you nodded. Now choosing to keep your lips tightly together. Something told you to stay quiet and listen.

“It hurt, its all hurt really. And I know it’s my own fault. Can’t keep my big mouth shut, ha-ha”. His hand dropped from his hair. “I can finally register that my words have consequences”.

Pro – can take ownership over what he did.

“For that…I am sorry” Mattheo said, eyes looking right into your own. “I am sorry for what I said…have ever said to upset you or doubt me or anger you. I am sorry for never seeing what I had before me; someone who chose me and wanted me. I am sorry that I got jealous and possessive, driving away any male around you”.

Pro – apologising for what he done, without any excuses.

“But I won’t say I’m sorry for loving you” his voice cracked. “Loving you is the only thing I won’t apologise for, because I fell in love with you. From Your kindness, caring, affection, smartass-ness, unapologetic self for putting up with me”.

Pro – loving you, all of you.

“So, I get it…if you want to slap me or punch me – just no kicking below the belt, please” Mattheo joked, or was it more concern you’d do it.

Instead of doing what he thought you would, you stepped up to him. You tilted your head up, eyes boring into his. The expression on your face was blank, which was slightly scaring Mattheo. Taking a deep breath, you slowly released said breath.

“Before you showed up, I had made a Pro’s and Con’s list. And the Con’s had won” you stated softly, watching the light dim in Mattheo’s eyes at your words. “But just now you provided with me three new Pro’s, which looks to have changed the outcome”.

Hope rose in Mattheo’s eyes, while he held his breath.

“If you can promise me to do your best to work on your jealous and possessiveness, I promise to give you all my love and would never have anyone but you”.

That was all it took. Without so much as a word, Mattheo pulled you into a tight hug. “I promise to do anything and everything to prove to you that I am worthy of you”.

Pulling back, you placed a hand on his cheek. How he had missed your touch. You lent in and placed a soft kiss on Mattheo’s lips. He wasn’t a lesson to learn from. He was the person you were meant to be with, plain and simple. Even if he drives you crazy.

A/N: as always, open to feedback. As well as requests :)

#mattheo riddle x you #mattheo x reader #mattheo riddle x reader #mattheo riddle x fem!reader

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hamiltonaf · 6 months

Note

A happy ending but one that he has to work at

Friends with Benefits | Kylian Mbappé

Pairing: Kylian Mbappé x Female Reader

Word Count: 2.8K

Warnings: Sexual theme

A/N: Hello my loves ! This was supposed to be posted over the weekend but got delayed because I didn’t know how to end this. This is the original request. I hope you guys enjoy !

Also, requests are open .xx

(Y/F/N) - Your Friend’s Name

It’s match day, which calls for my routine meet up with Kylian - we meet for most of his matches and sometimes we don’t. I’m always the reason when we don’t meet on match days because I’m trying my best to avoid him, but I’m failing miserably. Don’t get me wrong, he’s beyond amazing but I broke our rule.

We’re friends with benefits - everyone knows how it goes and what’s the end result, but yet people still believe they’ll never catch feelings. It’s always one person, the deal turns sour and that’s the end of the relationship. I guess I’ll be the cause of that.

I never attended his matches because firstly I’m not his girlfriend and secondly, we both have to be as low-key as possible. Our meet ups usually go with me going over to his place, watch the match from there, no matter the result we have some fun when he gets back and either I’ll spend the night or leave as soon as I can.

Besides the fun of friends with benefits, we actually grew to be quite good friends I would say over the time of us meeting. We’d spend our time in bed talking about his matches or other personal things that he’d want to get off his chest and I would be his confidant. Likewise, I felt comfortable to share things in my life with him as well that I’d usually not tell just anyone. It just felt right in the moment and we’d both just forget the whole reason behind why we were in bed together in the first place.

Tonight it’s AC Milan vs PSG. I got dressed and just before leaving, I gave myself one last look in the mirror - tonight I need to confess.

I let myself into his house and got comfortable whilst watching the match, but of course that didn’t last long because I was already up on my feet yelling at the TV screen.

The time between post match and Kylian coming home felt so quick since I wasn’t paying attention to the time. I heard his footsteps and him attempting to unlock the door, I suddenly felt a shiver run through my spine and my hands had started to get clammy. I’m not ready.

“(Y/N)!” He called as he entered. “In the lounge” I answered. “I got here as soon I could. I couldn’t stop thinking about you all day. I missed you” he smiled as he approached me and pulled me by my waist against his chest. “Congrats on the win today!” I smiled as I placed my hands on his chest. “Thanks, well, you’re just what I needed after that” he grinned as he placed his finger under my chin and pulled me in for a kiss.

I couldn’t help but kiss him back. Our lips moved in sync and it started to get heated by the second as my arms wrapped around his neck whilst his hands trailed down my neck. He broke away from my lips as his kisses trailed down my neck. His hands were about to start unbuttoning my shirt until reality slapped me in the face. “Kylian. Wait” I said as I placed my hands on his. “What ! What’s wrong ? Did I do something ?” He asked concerned. “No no…I just uhm… I wanted us to talk about something first” I hesitantly said.

“Okay let’s talk” he said as we both sat next to each other on the couch. Time to cut to the chase. “This needs to stop.”

“Wait, what ? But why ? What did I do ?” “It’s not you. It’s me” I sighed and looked down at my fingers. “What do you mean ?” He asked “This has been going on for 3 months. It started off great and don’t get me wrong, it still is. However, we had an agreement that if one of us breaks the rule then we have to come clean about it. Unfortunately I can’t continue living a lie much longer. It hurts me every time just being nothing but a fling….I caught feelings, Kylian” my heart was racing uncontrollably.

He remained silent before taking a deep breath. “Look (Y/N) these last 3 months were amazing, but I’m sorry I can’t say the same about catching feelings. I’m not really interested in being in a relationship right now because I’m focused on football. I can’t get distracted right now” he carelessly said. I pressed my lips together in hopes that the emotional side of me will go away. “I know this changes everything, but I mean if you still want to be friends with benefits then I’m fine with that. If you don’t and want to walk out of this now, I won’t stop you” he said. I can’t believe him right now. I just felt like curling myself into a ball and crying my eyes out.

“Wow… I’m just a distraction huh ? I think I’m gonna just go” I cleared my throat as I stood up. “Wait (Y/N) I didn’t mean it like that, I mean I don’t have the time to be in a relationship right now. I just want to have fun” he said as he stood up. “Good to know that I don’t fit in the agenda” I faked a smile before walking over to grab my bag. “(Y/N) don’t be like that. We can move past this. Just stay” he grabbed a hold of my hand to stop me.

“I think this is for the best. I can’t continue living a lie and how long do we expect to keep this going ?” I said lastly before pulling my hand away from him. “(Y/N) let’s talk it out” he said as he followed me to the door. “Kylian. You’re already making this harder for me. Just stop. Let this all be in the past” I took a deep breath and paused. “Good luck on your career. I wish you nothing but the best” I said lastly before closing the door and leaving.

I didn’t even realise I was crying until a tear fell on the screen of my phone. I made it back home, thankfully, immediately dressed down and got myself some ice cream to eat my sorrows away whilst watching a sad movie.

Kylian tried calling numerous times and even sent me countless messages but I chose to ignore it. All good things come to an end, as fun as friends with benefits was…eventually one of us would have to pull out of that phase to get into a real relationship for our future. He may not be concerned about getting serious right now but I sure as hell am. It shatters me that he didn’t feel anything in these 3 months we’ve been together - it was just lust for him I guess. So all those late nights where we were being honest and confided in each other was just a waste…

It’s been a week since I last saw Kylian physically, it was hard not to see him when he’s all over my social media even though I unfollowed so many accounts. Besides that, he still attempted to call and message me numerous times apologising but I just left him on read.

(Y/F/N) had came over after ages, she was a mutual friend of both Kylian and I, all she knew was that we were somewhat seeing each other. We left out the part that we were in a situationship. She actually took notice of my absence in Kylian’s life because according to her, he changed in the past week. I wasn’t buying it, I just assumed she was siding with him. I told her that us seeing each other didn’t work because he didn’t have genuine feelings like I did.

My depression was apparently very much evident that her mood had switched to sympathising with me. She acted quick to change my mood, she thought the best remedy for my depression was to move on. I couldn’t agree more. She surprised me when she said that she could picture me dating a friend of hers named, Carlos, if not Kylian then he was apparently the first runner up. Upon hearing the name, I was already keen on moving on in hopes that maybe I’ll finally get a happy ending.

Later in the afternoon after (Y/F/N) left, there was a knock at the door. I answered it and was greeted by a delivery guy. “(Y/N) (Y/L/N) ?” He asked. “Yes ? That’s me” I furrowed my brows. “These are for you” he said as he motioned to the massive bouquet of red roses that was placed beside him. “Oh wow” I said under my breath. “Yeah, you got yourself a lucky man. Have a good day !” He greeted me before he left. I was stood speechless at the door. The bouquet was so heavy, I struggled to even place it onto the counter top. My eyes searched for a card but I found absolutely nothing. Maybe it’s from Carlos after (Y/F/N) put in a word for me.

(Y/F/N) had suggested that Carlos, myself and her have a friendly dinner tonight to get to know each other a bit and so we both don’t feel uncomfortable just yet. I know (Y/F/N) is trying to help, but at the same time I don’t want to go on a date with this guy if he ends up being a bore or even worse, arrogant.

I had a shower, did my hair and makeup before slipping into my dress, and heels. I grabbed my bag and phone before leaving as my Uber arrived.

Luckily they were already there so I didn’t have to awkwardly wait alone. I mentioned (Y/F/N)’s name for the reservation and was escorted inside to where they were seated. “Hello !” I greeted enthusiastically. (Y/F/N) ran over to hug me first before breaking away and introducing Carlos. “Carlos, (Y/N). (Y/N), Carlos” she motioned. “You’re even more beautiful in person” he said as he kissed the back of my hand. “Oh.. well thank you” i felt the heat rush to my cheeks. “You’re welcome” (Y/F/N) said lowly to me.

As we all got seated, (Y/F/N) and Carlos were across me. I was just about to place my bag on the empty seat beside me until I heard that all too familiar voice. “Sorry I’m late.” You’ve got to be kidding me.

“Well finally” Carlos said as he then stood up to shake his hand. “Hey bestie” (Y/F/N) said as she stood up to greet him as well. His eyes were on me the entire time, not even breaking eye contact when he hugged (Y/F/N).

“Chérie” he said lowly enough for only me to hear. “Kylian” I said as I faked a smile and stood up to greet him. As petty as I wanted to be, I didn’t want Carlos to question the tension. Kylian took advantage of the situation as he placed his hand on my lower back and pulled me in for a hug before kissing my cheeks. How lovely, he’s sitting next to me.

Dinner was going well as Carlos opened up about himself and happened to ask me a lot of questions about myself, up until Kylian placed his hand on my thigh. My body froze and I felt goosebumps form on my skin. I placed my hand on top of his to swat his hand away, but of course a few seconds later he does the same thing again with his hand even higher up my thigh. When his fingers were close to my inner thigh, I quickly excused myself, “Would you guys excuse me” I smiled before abruptly standing up and walking towards the bathroom.

Before I could even get to the entrance of the bathroom, I was pulled by my arm and had my back against a corner wall. “What the-“ I said till I saw Kylian’s face. “Can you leave me alone and let me go ?” I said as I pulled my arm away from his. “You’re ignoring me for the past week and I wanted to talk to you” he said. “Well this is obviously not the place or the time, excuse me” I said as I tried to walk away. He grabbed me by my waist and pulled me back against the wall. I hate to admit that i have butterflies and it felt like my skin was burning when he touched me.

“What is it ?” I asked as I crossed my arms over my chest. “You look so beautiful, it’s distracting” he smirked. “Thank you ?” I furrowed my brows in confusion. “Just hear me out.. I know I was wrong and I’m so sorry for not even wanting to give us a try. Since you’ve been away, I felt so empty and it was so obvious that you were missing from my life, I didn’t realise how you completed me. I missed talking to you about literally anything, I missed having you by my side and waking up to your beautiful face. I need you (Y/N) because I love you” he said. I stood speechless. Someone pinch me. “Ow !” I rubbed my arm. “You said to pinch you” he shrugged. “I can’t believe I just said that out loud.”

“So chérie, will you forgive me and give us a chance ?” He asked hopeful. “I need some time Kylian. This all happened so quickly. I have so many unanswered questions that-“ “Okay then ask me a question !” He said. “We’re wasting too much of time, they’re gonna get suspicious” I said as I started walking. “By the way did you like the roses ?” He asked. I stopped in my tracks, “That was you ?” I asked in shock. “Why are you surprised ?” He asked. “Well firstly you didn’t send a note and secondly, I assumed it was Carlos” I shrugged. He seemed to get annoyed by the mention of Carlos’ name as he walked ahead of me without another word. “Ky !” I called for him.

Luckily Carlos and (Y/F/N) didn’t question how long we were gone, I guess they were so caught up in their own conversation because they didn’t even notice Kylian and I when we were back. Kylian was distant for the rest of the evening and luckily dinner was cut short since Carlos had to go. Turns out (Y/F/N) was leaving with Carlos so that just leaves Kylian and I alone. “Are you coming over to my place ?” He asked. “For what ?” I raised a brow. “To talk things out and besides that..I have a surprise for you” he grinned. “You know I hate surprises” I rolled my eyes. “I’m aware that’s the only thing that could convince you to come with me” he said proud. “I really hate you” I shook my head as I followed him to the car.

Once we got to his place, it felt weird knowing that I was once coming here so often to not coming at all. “Okay close your eyes” he said when we were at the door. “But why ?” I asked. “You’re so stubborn, you’re ruining my surprise” he shook his head as he placed his hand over my eyes. He used his other hand to guide me into the house, I could envision where everything was with my eyes close. “Kylian, you’re scaring me” I said as I took small steps. “Almost there” he said lowly. “Okay..open now” he said. I blinked my eyes open to see the house decorated in candles and a trail of roses.

“Oh my gosh” I said lowly. “Do you like it ?” He asked. “Ky, I didn’t know you had this in you” I said in awe. “I’m offended that you don’t think I’m romantic” he shook his head. “I mean deep down I knew you were but I didn’t think that I’d get to see that side of you” I pouted. “Well, you surely got the romantic side of me. I’ve never done this for anyone and I wanted you to feel special, especially to make up for the past week. These are just small things, you deserve better chérie” he sighed. “I think I got exactly what I need right here” I said as I wrapped my arms around his neck. Instinctively he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him against his chest.

“I really love you. I never thought I could miss someone so much until you were gone. I deserved being left on read” he laughed. “You sure did.. I think I should’ve sent the roses back as well” I teased. “Okay now that would be pushing it, I would’ve been heart broken for the rest of my life” he pouted. “You would feel my pain” I smiled. “I already felt your pain when you already moved onto Carlos” he rolled his eyes. “You didn’t even give me a chance to move on. You crashed our friends date, you played with my mind by placing your hand on my thigh and calling me pet names when you normally call me-“ He cut me off by placing his lips on mine. “You’re talking too much” he said in between kisses as it got heated.

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shanbinswf · 9 months

Text

LEAVE YOUR LOVER — yoon keeho [repost]

landing page. main masterlist.

pairing: best friend roommate keeho x afab reader

genre: mild angst, mild fluff, smut (mdni)

plot: your best friend and roommate keeho doesn’t take too kindly to how your boyfriend treats you, so after some good food and a few glasses of wine, he makes a proposal. one night with him, and if you feel nothing, he’ll never bring up how shit your boyfriend is again.

wc: 4714

warnings under the cut.

warnings: reader cheats on her boyfriend, reader’s boyfriend is a right asshole (still don’t defend her cheating), mentions of body image and low self esteem, mentions of food and eating, mentions of alcohol consumption and being mildly drunk, kind of drunk sex but also kind of not. technically a part one.

YOU WOULD NEVER SAY YOU HATED YOUR BOYFRIEND PER SAY, BUT HE WAS FOR SURE MAKING HIS WAY INTO YOUR BAD BOOKS AS OF RECENT WEEKS.

His most recent stunt? You were meant to be hanging out with him over the course of a couple of days at some spa retreat weekend he had planned, only for him to flake out the morning of. He claimed he had some work ‘things’ he had yet to finish, but you knew the truth—he just wanted to spend the weekend drunk with his boys and forget he had a girlfriend back home, something he was seemingly starting to do quite often.

Lucky you hadn’t packed your bags. You had faced one too many weekend getaway trips being cancelled at the last minute for an array of reasons—none of which you believed.

He seemed to forget you both ran in the same circle of friends, though, so you often caught him out in his lies through the social media posts your friends posted with or of him. And the most recent night out? He even had a woman’s arms around his neck while they danced.

Your best friend and roommate, Yoon Keeho, was witness to all the screaming and writhing around you did when you held your phone to your face and read over the shitty messages your even shittier boyfriend send you.

While you couldn’t say you hated your boyfriend—despite being not far off from being able to make the claim; Keeho was less forgiving and very open about the fact he hated your boyfriend with his entire being.

Each time you invited your boyfriend over, Keeho was less than accommodating. He often made sure to push his way to sit between you so your boyfriend was either sandwiched to the end of the couch, or worst case, Keeho always made an effort to make himself as big as possible so he took up more space which more often than not ended with your boyfriend being forced to sit on the singular bean bag chair—the same one you often drunk-made out with Keeho on. A secret your boyfriend didn’t need to know.

Keeho lazed back in his usual chair at the small table you had both just bought and assembled. His fingers gently played with the stalk of the wine glass, and his eyes looked everywhere around the apartment bar at you. “We’ve really made this place our own, don’t you think?” A small, soft smile tugged at his lips.

You nodded your head, looking around also. The place was mostly decorated with Ikea furniture, but you had both chipped in to buy everything—it helped you had similar tastes. You admired the red pull out double bed couch in the living room, and you couldn’t help but feel excitement at the 55 inch TV that decorated the wall which cost… a lot. But it was worth it. It made your movie nights all the more exciting.

“Shame we can’t break the table in,” Keeho’s voice became low, barely audible but as the apartment was silent, you could still hear every word that passed his lips. At first, you didn’t respond. It took a few seconds of the words to sink in. And when they finally did, your eyebrow raised in reaction.

“Excuse me? I plan to eat at the table every meal, every day,” You defended, sitting up straighter. Your knees hit the leg of the table, making it shake slightly. You rushed to grab the base if your wine glass, not wanting to spill any. It was a bottle Keeho bought when you first moved out to live alone, mere weeks before he begged to move in with you as his old roommates were being kicked out of their apartment at that time.

And what kind of best friend would you be if you said no to him?

Keeho’s face deadpanned, and you realised the meaning behind his words rather swiftly. You gasped, but then raised your hand to hide your laugh. You tilted your head back. “Gross, I don’t want to think about my best friend fucking some random girl on the table I eat at!” Your face crinkled as you cringed, shaking your head furiously to try to rid yourself of the thought.

Keeho raised an eyebrow, leaning on his elbows. He leant across the table, and you felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room. You had a boyfriend, the feelings you had for Keeho were wrong. But you still couldn’t snuff them out—no matter how hard you tried.

“Who said it was going to be some random woman? I was planning on fucking someone you know quite well,” And while a part of you thought he was insinuating it be yourself, you shook your head and reminded yourself to not get lost in the fantasy. You saw the girls he followed on his social media apps, the ones he often thirsted over (yes, even to you as he thrust his phone into your hand for better view of the screen)—the women who you deemed a total opposite to yourself.

“If you fuck one of my friends, you’re sleeping in a shitty tent on the balcony and I’m selling your room to someone else,” You faux threatened, but the humour didn’t reach your eyes as your chest ached just at the thought of his hands on someone else, ached at the thought of his attention being stolen by someone else—even worse at the idea of it being someone you know and call a friend.

You wanted that. You wanted… him.

Keeho leant back against his seat and brought the wine glass to his lips, tilting his head as he took a sip. He looked elegant, his white shirt sleeves pushed up his arms and his glasses sat on the edge of his nose. You wanted to pounce on him, but ever since you had been friends with him at the start of your college years, you had found great strength and control.

Back then, you always found Keeho incredibly attractive and even considered asking him for a one night stand several times, but when you guys went clubbing and found him in some corner with his hands on a stranger’s ass, you always backed out of the idea. And then you began to date.

Sure, most of your boyfriends never lasted long and some even claimed your friendship with Keeho was suspicious, you had learnt to keep your feelings and desires on a very tight leash over the years. Now your current boyfriend has no fear of you and Keeho living together, and you almost questioned if he would even think twice if he caught you and Keeho napping on the couch in one another’s arms—a common recent occurrence on lazy, rainy weekends.

Keeho placed the wine glass back on the table, his eyes locking onto you. “I never said it would be one of your friends. I just said you knew her very well.”

Your skin tingled, and you rushed to stand. You forced a laugh and pointed to the direction of your bedroom. “I’m going to take a shower and change into some pyjamas…”- Your voice trailed off as your mind flashed with an intrusive thought—begging to ask him to shower with you or wait patiently in your room as you busied yourself to look perfect in an attempt to gain his attention, even if it lasted just a second.

As if he could read minds, Keeho stood and held his wine glass, following behind you. You turned to face him as you reached your door, eyebrow raised with suspicion. “Why are you stalking me?”

“I’m going to watch a movie in your bed while you shower. You said it’s movie night so you have to keep your promises,” He sounded defensive, his lips pouted ever so slightly.

“We literally have a huge TV and pull-out bed in the living room,” You began, but his pout only increased at your words as he found himself disliking them the more you talked. You rolled your eyes and grabbed his face with your hand, squeezing his cheeks to force his lips to stick out even more. “You’re such a big baby, you know that?”

“Yeah, your baby,” He managed to get out, his face daring to turn so he could press a kiss to your wrist. You gasped and pulled your hand away from his face.

“Gross, Keeho germs,” You giggled, then turned to finally throw your bedroom door open.

“That’s not what you said a few weeks ago when you were making out with me and basically dry humping me,” Keeho spoke confidently, and your eyes fell wide as you looked around—as if your boyfriend or any other intruding ears could overhear.

“You promised not to talk about that, I’ve been good lately and I haven’t laid a hand on you in… that way ever since,” You defended yourself.

A part of you often lay awake at night after your drunken escapades with Keeho. He never pushed you away, no matter how much you got lost in the feeling of his lips. His hands always remained polite and on your waist, never daring to move in either direction. Surely any other just-a-best-friend would push you away if you kissed them… right? But Keeho… he never did.

“I wish you would,” Keeho said matter of fact my before he forced his way into your bedroom. He walked to your bed without a care in the word and placed his wineglass on the bedside table your boyfriend claimed his own, then he threw himself on the bed—the same place your boyfriend slept whenever he slept over, which was not often.

A place you wished was claimed by Keeho instead…

Your phone buzzed from in the drawer where you locked it before your Ikea trip, holding it prisoner for fear you would text your boyfriend in a fit of rage or sadness. Keeho noticed your eyes flicker to the drawer, and he crossed his arms over his chest. “Don’t you fucking dare give in. End it with him.”

You tore your eyes away from the drawer and made your way to your wardrobe. You opened the doors, then you pulled open the top drawer. Your hand reached in and you felt a pair of your favourite lounge ware, a grey coloured super soft set of pyjama shorts and a vest top with pale pink detailing of lace. You threw a look over your shoulder. “You know it’s not that easy,”

And then you disappeared into your en-suite bathroom.

That was one of the best and worst things about your apartment—both bedrooms had their own en-suite bathrooms. You wished there was a joint one sometimes, so you could relish in the scent of his body wash that suffocated the room when he was finished cleaning after his workouts or a long day.

A part of you also hated the idea, you wanted privacy to get lost in the world of Keeho-dreams—dreams of… an intimate nature. Dreams you felt ashamed to be having. Dreams your other friends assured you meant you were in love with Keeho. Dreams that had you delusional, and defensive over your own feelings at the same time.

The kind of dreams you should be having about your boyfriend and not your roommate and best friend.

You turned the shower on and allowed the room to steam up before you stepped in. The warm water hit you like a wave and hugged your body, making you feel comfortable and at ease. You had to remember he was just in the next room though, and you had to keep your hands tasked on only washing your body.

Once you felt clean, you washed your hair and then tied it back, too lazy to dry it properly. Then you made your way back to your bedroom.

Keeho was lazing against the headboard of your bed, and as he looked from the TV screen to you, you suddenly felt self conscious. It didn’t help that your bedroom had a cool air flowing through, hitting your exposed thighs and making you shiver.

You noticed his eyes looked down your body. Noticed how his eyes lingered a bit too long on your thighs. You rushed to sit on your side of your bed, grabbing a pillow to hide your body behind—and to attempt to gain some kind of warmth.

You smiled at Keeho, leaning closer to him to get a better view of the awkwardly angled TV screen. You silently made note to buy yourself a larger one, as out of you both, only you had a TV in your door. Keeho had a gaming PC, but it was out of commission for movies as one of his friends tipped water over the monitor and broke it—and Keeho has still yet to replace it.

“What are we watching?” You asked, your face closer to Keeho’s than you wished for, but you were doing a good job at controlling your inner urges.

“Some romance movie I think, I let Netflix choose one by random,” He replied, his arm snaking around your side to pull you closer.

Your body soon became flush to the side of his, and you wanted to either get up and run away, or sit on his lap and be even closer to him; but you stopped yourself from doing either option. You decided to rest your head on his shoulder, forcing a yawn to pretend you were tired. You just wanted to be close to him, but you couldn’t risk your friendship… Or relationship at that. The one you kept forgetting you were even in.

You watched the movie intently, inwardly cringing when a kissing scene appeared. Your eyes begged to flick to Keeho, to admire his perfect plump lips that you had last kissed a few weeks ago… you had to stop thinking about him like that—you had to forget your feelings for him and at least try to like your boyfriend for once.

As if right on cue, your phone began to buzz again, and you sighed.

You decided you best pick it up or he would call all night long. You pulled away from Keeho and threw your pillow on the floor, then you opened your bedside table a crack to pull the phone out but to ensure your privacy stayed intact. You knew if Keeho saw what you hid in your drawers, he would never let you live it down.

You rushed to shut the drawers, then you tried to slide the button to accept the call but the second your finger touched the green circle, your phone was swiped from your hands and thrown on a pile of nearby recently-cleaned clothes that needed folding and putting away.

You glared at Keeho. "What the fuck was that for?" You asked, rushing to get on your hands and knees so you could climb over him to get to the phone. But the second your left thigh landed on the bed the other side of his, his hands moved to grip your waist tight and hold you in place.

Keeho's eyes looked angry, and his grip was tighter than the soft lingering touches you were used to. You raised an eyebrow, confused by his sudden actions. He couldn't help himself, and his hands pulled your body to be flush against his. You gasped again, but this time you decided not to question him.

You had given in, and for once, you felt like you weren't the only one pushing your hidden desires onto him.

“Don’t answer his call,” Keeho’s voice was small, almost begging. Your eyes softened, and your hands came to rest on his cheeks. His own eyes softened at that, and his lips turned up into a smile.

“I can’t just ignore him all night,” You replied softly, which Keeho did not seem to take too kindly to. His hands tightened on your sides, your hands moving to hold onto his shoulders to support yourself. You felt like he was going to swallow you whole.

“Don’t you fucking dare try to answer his call, or we are over,” Keeho’s voice was louder this time, but somehow deeper. You blinked innocently, surprised.

“Us? Over? We’re roommates, you can’t just move out because I answered a phone call,” You giggled a little, trying to laugh off his reaction as nothing more than a best friend caring for you—being a little too possessive over you.

“I’m not talking about moving out, I’m talking about how you’re my girl,” He over pronounced the word my, which caused you to tilt your head. He leant his head back against the wall with a sigh, and his hands moved from your sides to your thighs. His hands ran up and down slowly, gently. And your self conscious concerns were slowly coming back.

“What do you mean by my girl?” You asked, pulling your off of his body. You still made no effort to pull away from him though, but from the way you shifted on his lap and received a sharp intake of breath, you knew he was about to say something either very hurtful, or something you had been dreaming about for years.

“You can’t really think of us as just friends, right?” Keeho asked, his eyes closed and face still tilted towards the ceiling. You shook your head, but realised he couldn’t see or sense the motion so you muttered a rejection to the statement. “Exactly, we’re basically a fucked up couple and have been for years. But I don’t want to keep denying my feelings or pushing us apart, which is why I’m telling you not to answer his calls. End it with him, leave him.”

“I’ve told you before, it’s not that simple—” You began to which his head shot back to your direction, and his hand slap your thigh with a slight sting. “What the fuck was that for?” You asked, voice a little too loud, to which he raised an eyebrow. “I can’t just ghost him. I have to end it with him properly, you know I’ve wanted to for a while… I just don’t know how.”

Keeho nodded his head in understanding, one of his hands moving to tangle into your hair while the other thank spanked your thigh rubbed over the pink skin soothingly. “Well we can worry about that later, but how about we have some us time tonight, yeah?” Keeho smirked and even wiggled his eyebrows for added effect.

You laughed at first, but then moved your hands to his shoulders with a serious look on your face. “But then won’t I be cheating?”

“Well…” Keeho began, tilting his head to the side. “If you think about it, from the day we first met, I’ve been claiming you as my girl so technically… you’ve been cheating on me for years.”

You rolled your eyes, the smile back on your lips. “Not sure that’s how it works, but you do you I guess.”

“I’d rather do you,” He murmured, his hand forming a fist to get a good grip on your hair before he leant forward and pressed his lips gently to yours. The all-too-familiar fireworks erupted under your skin, warmth spreading everywhere he touched. You craved him, needed him to survive. It was like you were drowning, and he was your last gasp of fresh air.

You pulled back so you could watch your hands as you slowly slid them from his shoulders, down his chest, then you finally let them find home on his stomach over his shirt. Your fingertips begged to reach under and trace along his skin, but you resisted the urge.

His hand moved up your thigh, the highest it had gone that night, and you flinched. He noticed the action as he had been very intently watching your face and ever reaction to how you relished in the feeling of his body being so close to yours, and he couldn’t help but frown. Had your boyfriend said something to make you fear men touching your thighs? The thought alone pissed him off more than he thought possible.

“You okay, angel?” His voice whispered, and you mumbled something at first which he couldn’t quite catch. “Speak up baby, I can’t hear a word you’re saying.”

“I asked can you maybe…” You sighed as you leant your head forward onto his shoulder, closing your eyes. “I’m a bit self conscious about people touching certain parts of my body and my thighs are one of those places,” You explained.

Keeho turned his head to press a kiss against your temple, his fist in your hair loosening as his fingers decided to gently run through it instead. You realised he was trying to soothe you, and you couldn’t help but smile as you pressed turned your head and pressed your face into his neck.

“You’re so fucking cute,” Keeho whispered before he attempted to pull your body back so he could resume kissing you. Your body grew hot at the compliment, and so you rushed to try to hide his eyes from noticing and so you pressed your lips to his first. But firmer this time.

This time, there was almost a sense of urgency behind the kiss. The pressure was firm and your lips moved against each other faster. His hands moved to your thighs again, but the pressure was barely there, as if he was ghosting his hands over your skin. The sensation felt good, a little too good. So you gasped, and Keeho let out a faint chuckle before he took advantage of the situation and intruded your mouth with his tongue.

When you and Keeho made out, it was always messy. Messy, needy, a mess of all your unspoken feelings in a rush to get out. But this time, there was no rush or any unspoken feelings. You knew how he felt about you, and so you were ready to give into it all.

Your hands daringly moved lower on his stomach, reaching under his shirt. You hadn’t intended to insinuate for him to take it off, but that was how he took the action… and you weren’t complaining. Keeho detached from your lips long enough to quickly unbutton his shirt and pull it off before he found home against your lips once again.

His body was radiating warmth, and so one of your arms moved to wrap around his neck as you tried to pushed your body into his as much as possible. You felt him smile against your lips, and his hand moved higher up your thigh.

Then all of a sudden, hands grip your sides and you were thrown onto your back. You blinked with surprise at the sudden action, looking up at Keeho who now lay between your legs above you. He smiled down at you, eyebrow cocked. “You look a little dazed already baby. Is kissing me that good?”

You nod slowly, too drunk off the feeling of his lips to respond with anything else.

He laughed, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to your lower lip before he pulled back again. “Then wait until you feel my cock inside you. You’re going to be lost in heaven.”

You laughed and rolled your eyes, the arm that was lazing around his neck moving to his hair to gently tangle in the locks. “You’re pretty confident in yourself, but all I hear are words and no proof.”

Keeho shrugged, his hands moving from your sides to the insides of your knees. “Well I’m more than willing to show you right now if you ask nicely.”

Again, you rolled your eyes to which Keeho tutted. His hands pushed your legs apart and against the bed, this one of them moved to spank the opposite thigh to the one he had earlier. The action caused you to gasp, and you looked down your body to find his slotted against yours as if he was made for you.

“Less attitude, or I’ll have to fuck it out of you,” He threatened.

You pushed your lips closed in a show you were going to listen to his every word, and he couldn’t help but smile and laugh at the action. He leant down and pressed his lips to yours, but kissing you slowly once again. His hand that spanked your thigh did the same as the other one and earlier, gently rubbing the pink skin to ease the slight sting he had caused.

But then his hands daring slid up your thighs higher, to where the bottom of your shorts sat. Between kisses, you took a sharp intake of breath—one he heard and couldn’t resist but to smirk at. He was relishing in the way your body was reacting to his every touch. God, he wished he had done that sooner.

His fingertips pushed up the bottom of your shorts, delicate and dancing along your skin. You rushed to grab his wrists, pulling back to look into his eyes. “What are we doing?”

He raised an eyebrow. “Well, right now we’re talking instead of kissing like we should be.”

You rolled your eyes once again, earning a slap on your thigh. “Attitude,” He warned to which you let go of his wrists and held your hands up to prove your innocence.

“I meant… we’ve only ever made out before…” Your words trailed off. He nodded in response, then took a few seconds to realise what you were asking. He smirked and wiggled his eyebrows.

“Well, would you like to do more?” He asked, laughing when you gave him a serious, almost stone cold look.

“You know I want to do more,” You replied.

“Well, do I? From what I can tell, I’m the one who has been simping over you all night while you’ve been too bust rolling your eyes or running your mouth,” Keeho responded.

“Please don’t make me get soppy about my feelings right now when your hands are basically under my clothes,” You laughed, Keeho laughing in response before he nodded with agreement. He decided to let it go… for now, he thought.

He leant his head back down, about to shower you in more kisses. You pursed your lips, waiting. But you never felt the pressure hit your lips. Instead, you felt soft lips trail down your jaw, down your neck… You took in a small breath, finding yourself enjoying the feeling as you closed your eyes.

One of Keeho’s hands pulled back from your thigh but instead moved to the front of your shorts, his fingers playing with the strings. He seemed… almost nervous to untie it. You nodded frantically, trying to focus on the feeling of his lips on your collarbones and his fingertips dancing on the inside of your thigh.

He felt the shake of your head so he pulled back and knelt above you, his fingers removed from your skin. His hands both moved to the strings of your shorts, and his eyes remained on yours as he gently pulled the strings. The top of your shorts felt loose, and you lifted your hips in an attempt to help him.

Keeho smiled softly and leant down to kiss your forehead before his fingers reached into the shorts, then he pushed them down your legs and threw them in the direction of the door to save yourself from having to struggle to determine which pile of your clothes were clean and which were dirty.

His fingers moved back to your thighs, resting on the soft inside. Your breath hitched as the self consciousness came back in waves. You looked around for your pillow to try to hide your body once again, and Keeho seemed to catch onto your feelings without you even expressing them.

“Baby,” He whispered, leaning down to brush his lips against your ear. “You look so beautiful, how did I get so lucky.”

You smiled at his words, your hand coming to rest on the back of his neck as your fingers found home to tangle into his hair.

#p1h #p1harmony #p1harmony scenario #p1harmony smut #p1harmony keeho #p1harmony imagine #p1h keeho #p1h smut #p1h keeho smut #keeho smut #yoon keeho

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yourstingrey · 2 months

Text

Foolish One

A/N:Hiii i already tried to post this once and run away for the weekend so I didn't have to see any notes but I forgot tags so reposting lol but thank you for the support on my last fic as well I tried to take my time with this one and even though I'm still not the biggest fan of it I thought I should still post it so I can improve next time!!!

Wc:3081

Warnings: angst, situationship, lowkey toxic relationship, hinting at hooking up, i gave the cabins a bathroom cus im not making you walk outside for that, grammar??

My cards are on the table, yours are in your hand

Chances are, tonight, you've already got plans

And chances are I will talk myself to sleep again.

Me and Luke have had a bit of a flirtationship for a while. A LONG while. Sometimes I think for too long but I've always had a crush on Luke. I mean the greatest swordsman at camp, always so helpful to new campers, and he's so beautiful. So when he finally noticed me months ago I gushed to my siblings about it, in the beginning, it was perfect. He would invite me on perfect dates, little picnics by the lake, walks in the forest together ranting about things at camp that bugged us, and even a couple of ‘hangouts’ in the Hermes cabin when everyone was off.

You give me just enough attention to keep my hopes too high

Wishful thoughts forget to mention when something's really not right

But nowadays he's always so busy I mean I can't blame him he's THE role model of camp. Plus he never forgets to slip a letter to my siblings saying he was sorry for not seeing me but I know where he is. He's never really busy.

And I will block out these voices of reason in my head.

And the voices say, "You are not the exception. You will never learn your lesson"

Moths fill my stomach as I walk to the Hermes cabin eating holes inside me and making my nerves practically leak out of me as I approach the door. Finally reaching the pale yellow door and sucked in my breath before knocking. I rock back and forth on my heels staring at the stained glass above the door before refocusing my attention on the door opening. To my dismay, it wasn't Luke who I planned on asking to hang out with today but instead, Chris opened the door.

As he opened the door he made an almost pitiful look “Are you looking for Luke..?” I cleared my throat awkwardly before speaking “Oh um yeah… do you know where he would be by any chance!”. The look on his face practically sunk in more but then I think he realized how he was staring at me “I think he is out training but he might be busy so maybe you shouldn't see him” he said rushed while rubbing the back of his neck like it was sore “Thanks Chris but I'm sure he won't mind i'll be super quick!”

Foolish one

Stop checkin' your mailbox for confessions of love

That ain't never gonna come

You will take the long way, you will take the long way down

Leaves crunch as I walk the arena mumbling under my breath how to ask to have a break with him. Even a quick walk in the woods would work. I'm desperate for Luke now even if he wants to say he doesn't want to see me anymore I'd take it. Arena in sight my pace quickens to the entrance ready to slip in but pause as I hear the unmistakable charming laugh of Lukes but also unfamiliar hushed giggles.

As I stand outside the clear opening I purse my lips before deciding that I would peak in just in I mean it's not like I mean to eavesdrop but I've never seen Luke with any girls so publicly he insists he likes things like that to be private saying “it's more special to keep it to ourselves”. The moment I looked inside the arena my heart dropped to my stomach it was Luke and Drew. Drew was a daughter of Aphrodite and you could tell she was tall and had long dark hair she was beautiful. Clearly, something Luke said must have said the funniest thing on the planet as they couldn't stop laughing.

In some universe where I was braver, I would march up to them and ask what was so funny but instead, I cowered, peaking in still. But in the worst-case scenario, Luke looked over at the entrance. It wasn't even some corny I slipped and he saw he just looked over. It was clear he saw me, he whispered something over to Drew and now she was looking too. It felt like I was in quicksand I couldn't move and I was sinking deeper and deeper now that she was watching and he was heading over.

As he jogs over I hear him in an out of breath tone spit out “Hey what are you doing here?” I go back to rocking on my heels “Oh uhhh I just came to see you because we just haven't hung out in a while. I mean if you're busy it's okay just uh y'know..” I mumble out the last bit embarrassed of my stammering. Rubbing the back of his neck looking behind him before turning back at me sharply inhaling through his teeth and saying “Uh… sure yeah how about you meet me later at the spot? Just go at night and I'll meet you there.” I try not to look visibly awkward by the curt sound of his voice but I won't prod to see if that's true “Okay I'll meet you there later!”

He looked at me before giving me a quick bye and spinning on his heel back to Drew. But honestly, I was riding a tiny high right now. I was excited to see him. A coy smile plays on my lips as I go back to my cabin.

You know how to keep me waitin'

I know how to act like I'm fine

Don't know what to call this situation

But I know I can't call you mine

Picking out an outfit isn't hard when most of your clothes consist of orange camp shirts or the few cute clothes you took from home. I landed on shorts and a sweater before finally tiptoeing out of my cabin. The cold chill of the evening air was overwhelmed by the almost caffeine jitter bounce running through my body as I walked a secret path Luke and I practically created with how much our shoes scuffed up the ground leading to our spot.

Reaching the end of the path expecting a familiar head of curls to be sitting maybe watching the stars waiting instead I stare out into the empty small clearing. My eyes sting and my lip wobbles. I quietly continue to shuffle over until I sit down trying to shake it off to him running a bit late. We didn't say exactly what time so honestly I felt silly getting upset. Relaxed now I bring my knees up to my chest and prop my chin up on them holding my legs with my arms. Sitting in our spot felt nostalgic for the earlier summer, stumbling off into the woods looking to escape prying eyes and stumbling on this exact spot…

And it's delicate, but I will do my best to seem bulletproof

'Cause when my head is on your shoulder

It starts thinkin' you'll come around

Swift feet run through the forest as I feel my arm being tugged along to keep up, “Luke! Slow down trust me no one is gonna find us at this rate!” my voice practically cuts out like glitches through my laughter as Luke finally slows down his pace to turn back to me “Yknow you're no fun in trying to make it private for us” tilting his head to the side and giving me a joking pout. I grab his hand and swing it back and forth “Shut up if that's true why do you spend so much of your precious time with me then hmmm?” He drops my hand and starts to walk backward further into the woods “You know what... You're on to something I've gotta get away from you! I think you must have put a spell on me, are you sure you’re not a daughter of Aphrodite after all?”

I follow after him and jokingly shove him to the side to walk in front of him “ugh you're such a jerk someti-” My feet lifted from the ground cutting my sentence off, feeling his strong arms wrap around my torso and looking down at his laughing face before he starts to spin us in a circle a quick few times before stop and setting me back down. Looking up at Luke to see him gazing at the view in front of us, an almost perfect clearing giving you a view of the calm water below and the blue sky above a log laid down in front of it grabbing hold of luke's hand again and tugging it to get him to sit down against the log with me. Sitting I leaned my head to rest on his shoulder, knees bumping as we sat our interlocked hands sat in my lap and I just stared down at them in this light with him and me sitting here they looked almost like they were carved out of marble made only fit with each other perfectly. I changed my gaze to peer up through my lashes at Luke now to see he was already looking at me. My cheeks flare up in a warm pink glow as I feel my chest humming, his face leans down, his other hand reaching up to cup the burning cheek, eyes fluttering shut lips brushing in delicate kisses while Luke grins into it…

But then the voices say, "You are not the exception, You will never learn your lesson"

Foolish one

Stop checkin' your mailbox for confessions of love. That ain't never gonna come

You will take the long way, you will take the long way down

I shiver maybe at the breeze passing by, maybe at the memory I couldn't tell, hugging my knees tighter and looking out before the sound of a leaf quietly crunches behind me. I didn't look back though I knew it was him no one else knew our spot was too far out. He slid right next to me on the log before speaking up in a quiet tone “I'm sorry I took so long just.. Yknow my cabin has so many campers it's hard to duck out when you're their counselor, I really didn't mean to keep you waiting..” Finishing his sentence he pulls me into him making me cuddle into his side. I sigh contently forgiving him in my head because to be wrapped up with him shining down on us like a spotlight made it feel right. “s’okay thank you for coming Luke..” “Of course..”

Now I'm slidin' down the wall with my head in my hands

Sayin', "How could I not see the signs?"

Oh, you haven't written me or called, But goodbye screamin' in the silence

We sat there together for a while and talked about what we had missed in each other's lives until the quiet chill made our hands feel frozen even with them clasped tightly together. Luke said he would walk me back to my cabin saying “If we get caught I'll just say I caught you sneaking out and I'm taking you back” Thanking the gods that we have Luke's counselor job as pass I really don't think I could handle Mr. D and Chiron put me back to cleaning the stables which I only did to take the blame for Luke last summer.

We arrive back into camp feeling Luke unclasp our hands without a word. My steps flatter for a mere second before I simply choose to ignore the action and catch up with his stride. As we walk I speak up “Um thanks for walking me back to my cabin I really appreciate it..” “It's no problem can’t let my favorite archer walk out in the cold alone!” he says in a positive but quiet voice. “So I was wondering if I could see you again yknow maybe we could just eat together or something if you don't have a lot of time..?” Our steps come to a halt in front of my cabin now he looks at me sucking a breath from his teeth before opening his mouth to speak “Ah.. I think I'm kinda busy tomorrow, Drew asked if I could show her how to get better at sword fighting so I have to show her that… I think I'll be doing it for a while. Y’know how practice makes perfect but I'll let you know when I'm free.”

My lips pursed together for a moment looking at my shoes as he talks and finally looking back at him when he finishes “Oh okay.. Well yeah just let me know! See you later!” I hear him mumble a quick ‘yep night’ before turning around and walking off, I stand there for a moment almost waiting to see if he would look back and maybe try to catch a glimpse of me going in, but he didn't.

'Cause you got her on your arm and me in the wings

I'll get your longing glances, but she'll get your ring

And you will say you had the best of intentions

And maybe I will finally learn my lesson

Creeping back to my bunk as quietly as possible trying not to disturb any of my sleeping siblings, but forgetting about one extra creaky floorboard located directly next to one of my sister's bunks, at camp practically everyone is a light sleeper after having to go on a quest. A mess of tangles and a sleeping mask shot up before my sister Rey pulled it off her eyes to see me ‘doing the walk of shame’ as she once called it. “What are you doing awake…?” her voice quiet and still full of sleepiness “Oh yknoww I just hung out with Luke for a bit..”

She sat up a little straighter and gave me the same look Chris gave me this evening. “You saw Luke..? I thought you guys were like totally over…” “Well, not completely we just fell out a bit I'm going to see him again soon he just is going to help train campers for a bit y'know!” Her brows furrow and her mouth twists with disdain “Is that camper.. Drew?” leaning against a bedpost and starting to pick at my nails “I mean yeah but like-” A loud groan cuts me off “You're kidding. I'm not saying this to hurt your feelings but.. Do you really think they're training? It just seems like what you guys used to do if you ask me..”

She tucked herself back into the covers rolling over to stop facing me leaving me with a not so subtle hint. Walking to the bathroom to brush my teeth so i could finally sleep i find myself staring at my figure in the mirror longer, my hand dropping down to stop brushing setting it down on the sink, my lip starts to wobble again and the bitter sting filled my eyes again blurring my vision as i sunk to the floor to sit on the cool tiles for a bit. Drew and Luke were doing exactly what they used to do ‘training’ is Luke's code word for fucking. I knew that already, we used to use it often. But i thought if he saw me tonight then it couldn't be that. He wouldn't do that. But Luke would, he knows that I know those code words but Luke wouldn't do that…

Foolish one

Stop checkin' your mailbox for confessions of love

That ain't never gonna come

You will take the long way, you will take the long way down

Waking up felt like a chore this morning, the sun shining instead of being warm and inviting felt like it was melting me down into a pile of mush as I got up. Walking to the mess hall was worse seeing them sit together breaking the camper's sit with their cabin's rule, giggling into each other's ears like I saw them before. Walking past them to my table hoping he would spare me a glance just a small look that said ‘I'm only entertaining her for a bit and I'll be back’ but he was practically bewitched by her.

Ain't never gonna come

Ooh, you will learn the hard way now

Foolish one

Sittin' 'round waiting for confessions of love

They ain't never gonna come

A week passed by and he never came running back instead he ran around with her, when it finally sunk in the pitiful sorrys of my sibling and even a handful of Luke's friends came but they fell silent on my ears wallowing in my self-pity, shutting in my cabin for a bit before deciding I couldn't just shut myself in because I lost the 3rd most decent head of curls in camp. The night came crickets chirping, acting as my background music as I took my throw blanket off my bed to sneak out just to take a short walk to relax. Heading down the long path noticing fresh grass starting to grow back out of the scuffed dirt it brought a small grin back to my face which fell almost immediately at the sight of two figures in a oh so familiar spot.

And thinkin' he's the one, you should've been walkin' out

Foolish one

The day is gonna come for your confessions of love

When all is said and done, he just wasn't the one

No, he just wasn't the one

#luke castellan x reader #luke castellan #luke castellan fic #pjo #luke castellan angst

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haikyu-mp4 · 4 days

Text

Media presence, part 3

word count; 1526 – gn!reader, final part of the mini series

go read part 1 and part 2 first for the best experience

You were tapping your foot under the desk like a bunny, lips pursed as you tried to choose who to talk to first. Your eyes settled on Hinata. “Sweetie,” you started, and he nodded eagerly as if he awaited praise. “You don’t have to do everything Atsumu and Bokuto do.”

Hinata visibly deflated, but puffed out his chest to put on a brave front. “Yes, boss,” he said, and it brought forth a small smile because you did like it when they called you that.

“Imagine how much you could have earned if Calvin Klein was the one asking you to do it. Now it’s just out there for everyone.” you kept saying, visibly frustrated. Once again, Sakusa was thankful that you couldn’t see the smile behind his mask as he watched you from the side.

You turned your attention to Bokuto and Atsumu, who were so perfectly placed in the middle of the four, both wearing very guilty smiles.

“It’s not about posting thirst traps, obviously hot guys draw attention,” you said and just missed the way Sakusa’s nose scrunched. You gritted your teeth, breathing through them as you stared at the angry message from one of your bosses that was open on your computer screen. “It’s the fact that Black Jackals has taken in four younger players and three of them are doing a flexing competition on social media like they’re 17 years old,” you said, definitely rambling at this point.

Did I forget to explain what happened? If it’s not obvious already, all three of your problem children posted shirtless thirst traps on their stories last weekend and hashtagged it with HottestMSBYJackal, and then Atsumu posted another one with a poll on it so people could vote between the three. While they gained a lot of younger followers from the stunt, your bosses were not happy as older fans of the team found them to be way too vain and busy with their bodies, and not focused enough on the sport or whatever. What you felt about it was irrelevant. Caring about what everyone else thought about them was your job.

Bokuto pouted and nodded, not understanding what he did wrong but still not liking your tone. “Sorry, boss.”

“I’m letting you off with a warning, just please think twice before posting stuff. Be normal,” you begged them, shooing your hand as a hint for them to wrap up the meeting.

Atsumu must have put some extra audacity in his smoothie this morning because he seemed to let the whole thing fall off his shoulders when you said they just got a warning. “I need to ask you something first, it’s important.”

“Let’s just go,” Sakusa said. He was trying to herd them outside without touching them, which always proved equally difficult. Perhaps he had an inkling about his teammate’s question.

“Which one would you vote for?” Atsumu asked, a toothy grin growing on his face that usually did great for advertisement. You sighed. They probably expected you not to answer.

“Sakusa,” you said, which made all three start yelling for different reasons. He was your favourite today after not participating, knowing that if he tried to stop them it wouldn’t have worked anyway. You covered your ears, regretting answering immediately.

“Quiet down, this isn’t a playground! Let’s go.” Sakusa commanded, this time with a sternness that made the others kick into gear.

“Keep your shirts on, thank you.” They were all on their way out, Bokuto and Atsumu hanging with their heads like wounded puppies who startled once you spoke again. “Not you, Sakusa.”

“Not keep my shirt on, or?” he asked, that Atsumu-coded smirk ringing from his voice.

“Don’t test me, sit back down,” you said, and he shrugged before following your orders. The other jackals had turned around and were looking between you two curiously until Sakusa closed the door in their faces. He sat down and excused them for being so loud, which you brushed off.

The bosses had instructed you to scold all of them, even though you insisted Sakusa was not part of it. Those old men only saw how everyone referred to the MSBY four online.

Honestly, you had no idea why you asked him to stay, so you had to pull something out of your ass real quick. Your mind was racing with all the things you had to do because even though this wasn’t the biggest scandal, it still came on top of everything you usually did. So instead of lying, you rested your head in your hands for a second. “I’m not sure why I asked you to come back inside.” It wasn’t some grand confession, but just that made it feel like a tiny butterfly was fluttering its wings in Sakusa’s belly. He was so pleased that he wasn’t sure what to say, choosing instead to scoot his chair closer to the desk and wait for you to unbury your face again. You eventually did, resting your chin on your hand instead. “Did you think about my suggestion yet?”

“Yes.”

You smiled, nodding your head as he once again gave you one-word answers. Feeling like there was too little air in the room now, you went to open the window. That might soothe your headache. “Once again, the quality of your answers rock my world,” you said sarcastically.

Sakusa hesitated for a moment before speaking up again. “You do a great job,” he said just as you sat back down. For what felt like the first time that day, you really let your eyes settle on him. His hair was a little extra nice that day, in your opinion. You liked it when it was more messy, not picture perfect. Behind the hair, you could still see how his eyebrows were drawn together. More than usual, you’d say.

If you were honest, you would have told him you didn’t always feel like you did great. That you felt like it was so difficult to understand who you were supposed to cater to when everyone had a different opinion and kept expecting you to bounce back every time you met a new challenge. Because you were so good at your job, that came with expectations.

However, your relationship with Sakusa wasn’t like that, so instead your eyes teared up a bit and you whispered a weak “Thank you”.

He nodded but desperately wished you were close enough that he could ask you to tell him everything. To rest your head on his shoulder and hug you until the pain went away. But he knew he had to go back to practice any minute now, and you two would stay an unspoken thing.

You might have only started looking at him now, but he had practically been staring at you since the second he and his teammates came into that office. “I’m sure those idiots will charm everyone with time,” he said, an added assurance he didn’t usually give anyone else. “I’ve seen Bokuto practising his Bokuto Beam, lately.”

“You’re right,” you said. The Bokuto reference did make you laugh and quickly wipe at one eye where a tear threatened to fall from the pressure. It had been a long day. “I’m just glad you didn’t join them, imagine you finally started posting and I had to yell at you.” Sure, you would love a shirtless photo of Sakusa, but your job came first.

“Mm.” He cringed at the thought, hands stuffed in the pockets of his training jacket. After a beat of silence, Sakusa’s frown slowly loosened up. He was glad he could make you laugh a bit, that wasn’t usually his strong suit. “Anything else?”

“No, you can go,” you sighed. “They need you.” He nodded and silently got up, wondering if he should say something more. But he didn’t, he just left. It left you staring at the door, sighing deeply as you realised your predicament. You felt something special for Sakusa Kiyoomi.

As Sakusa got home and settled into his sofa after he was freshly showered, he unlocked his phone and opened messages. He wrote a message, deleted it, and then repeated this a few more times before switching to Instagram. There, he opened the story camera and angled it to show a small part of his pristine living room where the last lick of the sun was shining across the floor. Imagine you finally started posting, were the words that rang in his ears.

The picture he took was nice enough, and he added “Good evening.” in white before spending a while choosing the font he liked. He even added a calm song he heard the other day and grew to like.

After it was posted, the likes flooded in, but he turned on silent mode and switched back to messages. He wondered if seeing the story would make you do another victory dance. Once again, he opened your contact and wrote, deciding to finally send it.

What are you doing for lunch tomorrow?

You: Probably eat

Sakusa rolled his eyes yet smiled affectionately. Eat with me.

You: Okay:)

You: I look forward to it

No more 'unspoken thing'.

part 1 ║ part 2 ║ part 3 (final part) ║ masterlist

#hq sakusa #hq x reader #haikyu x reader #haikyuu #haikyu #fanfiction #haikyuu x reader #haikyu fluff #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x you #hq #sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa x reader #haikyuu sakusa #msby sakusa #msby

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yandereforme · 1 year

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Yandere Batfamily x chubby, sweet reader? But maybe they’re nurodivergent (adhd/ocd) and have a lot of trouble remembering things? It’s just so easy to forget things ya know? And sometimes, especially in Gotham I imagine, people take advantage of it. And poor reader won’t realize until it’s literally told to them or they overthink.

You are absolutely right! Forgetting things in Gotham like that is not a good idea, one of the reasons why the Waynes notice you. A sweet, innocent, forgetful girl in Gotham? You are bound to be taken advantage of, and I didn’t want that to happen to you. They had to protect you, even if it was from yourself.

I’m going to go with ADHD because that’s the one I know most about and can picture best. You’re always going to be with someone so the only sure you don’t forget things, and you can forget about leaving the house. The boys are pretty patient with you though. Dick wouldn’t mind explaining a question to you 15 times, because you keep forgetting the answer. Tim would put Post-it notes around the house, usually with little things to help you remember the day. if Jason hast to go away for a trip, he will call you throughout the day and talk to you, once in the morning, to outline the schedule, once around lunch to remind you of your schedule again, and once before dinner just to make sure you’re doing all right. Damian find another weakness, another reason he hast to protect you. It would be rare for Damian to leave your side, except for patrol, and even then he always make sure you’re safe.

Bruce on the other hand? I can see him being a bit more extreme. Bruce constantly checks in and always make sure you’re not alone because what if you forget to do some thing important? What if you forget to take your meds you forget to do something or, even forget where you are? No, no, you’re never really alone, and Bruce is one of the batfamily members who frequently checks the cameras.(they all do, but Bruce and Tim are more frequent, almost always having your feed up)

Sometimes though they are pretty thankful for your short memory. That way you don’t remember to question him about your friend who just disappeared, and they can pretend you did you didn’t have one. All of them have found your memory some useful or another, usually after punishing someone who tried to take ‘advantage of you’(befriend you). And all of them agree, your face when you’re confused is the cutest thing they all have ever seen.

I hope you like my response. It took me a while, due to outside stuff, but I am responding again! And, I’ll make sure to do bruce’s reaction in the Yanderes batfamily X neglected reader soon, I should have it done before the weekend.

#yandere #yandere batfam x reader #yandere batfamily #fem reader #adhd reader #asks

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leomoon65 · 4 months

Text

Your first time with Dina

little info for you preference: afab reader, she/her perspective, wlw based but has a bisexual undertone just no men sexually.

summary:

you've liked dina for a few years now but never wanted to ruin your friendship but what happens when dina invites you over and a game of truth or dare turns sexual?

warning: virginity taking, p*rn categories mentioned, smut, , strap, teasing, edging, slight degradation, sexual tension, light language, mention and small affects of weed, 18+ minors dni, semi slow burned, idk im probably forgetting some this was written at 5am

a/n: i never wrote anything like this, let alone posted. this is proofread (update at 5am, it barely is) but im known for having spelling/grammar errors due to personal reasons so pls go easy on me. also, dina and the reader are in college to make everyone legal. i apologize for this being so long, i really wanted to add detail and make it the best i can. please enjoy (:

*a little background*

dina is your childhood best friend, she's a year older than you so you have always looked up to her and she protected you. you've had your ups and downs, complained and cried over various ex partners, came out to each other and have been through thick and thin. she is your person and you are hers.

*dina texts you*

"hey y/n, wanna come over, smoke a bowl and chill tn?"

you smile at your best friend's text responding "yes ofc idiot" as you make your way back from your last class of the day. you are glad you don't have to work another shift at the local retro video game store that mind you, dina always stops to bother you almost every shift. you can focus on the weekend and just have a night with your best friend.

you make your dorm, change into a white cropped shirt, jeans, your campus hoodie (go longhorns) and a pair of vans. "i'll be out for the night" you tell your roommate nancy. "oooo are you finally going to get laid?" nancy giggles to herself. "shut up, no it's dina, we are just going to smoke and i'll probably end up staying the night, text me if you need anything" you say with a smile and you're off. since dina is a sophomore she's in a different dormitory then the freshmen like yourself. making your way to the sophomore dorms you excitingly knock on dina's dorm room. the infamous "808", which happened to be your lucky number that dina was filled with joy when she was given her new dorm earlier this year.

dina: "y/n!" dina says eagerly as she pulls you into one of her famous dina hugs. "how was class?" "how are you?" "is anyone bothering you, i can stand up for you if you need me to?" "do you have enough money in your lunch account?" dina's proceeds to ask more questions before you giggle and reassure that everything is well, no one is bothering you, no you did not set your dorm on fire, and yes, you are good with money. dina reminds you she asks these questions out of love and it's her "best friend responsibility" you just stick your tongue out and make your way to her couch.

dina is wearing the university t shirt but cropped, some gym shorts and socks since she's at home, you notice her stummy poking out of her shirt and can't help but blush and think about what her shirt would look like off and on the floor "hey you!" she says snapping you out of your mini wet--- daydreaming session. "huh?" you say nervously. "can you turn some music on, grab the bong, and our favorite blankets?" "i'm making us some chicken with rice for dinner and i need to watch the oven so the rice rises properly." (she's quite the perfectionist) "sure thing"

you get up, go into dina's room, grabbing her childhood blanket off her bed next to her childhood bear "Mr. Dinaworth" she named when she was 4. dina's blanket consists of ladybugs on sunflowers, it was the blanket that she slept/sleeps with/ has around whenever she is at home. you grab another big blanket you too use when you come over, just a grey and white blanket that is pretty thick and big enough to warm the both of you. you come back put the blankets down, grab the bong from the bathroom since dina just cleaned it out before you came and had not had the time to grab it earlier. you finish by lightly plopping yourself on her couch. "alexa, play vibe music" "playing trust issues by drake on amazon music" the music is low and you smell the amazing food dina is making, you make your way over to her. "can i help?" dina smiles, "yes, you can help by sitting pretty on the couch it's done, it just needs plating". your face gets red from the "sitting pretty" phrase making your way back to the couch. dina is back five minutes later. "for you" she says handing you her famous chicken, white rice with soy sauce and broccoli on a plate. "you do too much for me deen" you say as you start eating. dina responds "what, i have to make sure the pretty girls in my life are fed". there it is.. those damn butterflies in your stomach... "no no you think to yourself , dina is a natural flirt she doesn't mean it like that let along towards you". you sit your food and catch up with dina as every other hangout goes.

about an hour later, dinner is all cleaned up, the music is going and you and dina are buzzed off of the hits you've taken but this is nothing new for you two. "hey let's play truth or dare" dina says. "what are we? thirteen?" you giggle as you start to feel the affects of the weed. dina laughs and puts her hand on your thigh "casually" you feel yourself start to get wet and tingly, "no it's the weed, it's stuff she got that's why i feel like this" you think. "no we are not thirteen but i wanna have some fun, not just smoke our brains out to frank ocean, drake and kehlani all night" she giggles again, ahh you could hear that giggle all day and never get sick of it, it's the same giggle she had when yall were kids, never changed but you love it regardless. "fine, this better be fun" you say noticing dina hasn't moved her hand form your thigh. "sweet" she smiles with intentions that you don't notice.

"truth" you say as you two start the round. "pussy" dina says finally removing her hand from your thigh, you're a water fountain at six flags by now but you never admit that to your best friend, that would be weird. "what is your favorite season" she asks with seriousness. "are you fucking with me?" you laugh, ask me something better than that. "oh? you want a challenge huh? you think you can handle it? she smirks at you. "come on deen, bring on" you think she'll ask you something pg-13 of what boy/girl do you like on camp--- " "what porn do you watch?" woah holy shit, you weren't expecting that. "don't challenge me pretty one without expecting some heat back". there you go, looking red as bob the tomato himself. "umm umm, usually lesbian but i get some straight just for... strap affect" *as you giggle. dina raises her eyebrow... "your virgin ass knows what a strap is?" you laugh again, "yes dina i wasn't born yesterday". dina's mind really races, she has a strap in her room that she wanted to use... "no no dina, play it cool, you can't scare her off now"

"dina truth or dare" you ask snapping her from her thoughts. "dare" she says with confidence. "hmm i dare you to do a flip" you say nervously not wanting to push any boundaries. "really? that's sooo easy, you know i was in gymnastic as a kid" she gets up behind the couch with enough room and flips backwards with ease. "oof im not as young as i used to be" she giggles. "okay okay my turn lets kick it up a notch" she sits and gets oddly close to you, "who, on campus is the prettiest girl to handsomest guy on campus?" you sit and think, "well i don't really talk to many guys but adam is kinda cute and helps me with my math homework but i would never sleep with him, girls... mmm... *the weed and confidence booster kicks in a little*

"i know a girl, she's jewish, looks a lot like you" *you giggle highly. "Talia?" she says mentioning her older sister who is eight years older than you and seven to dina. "no no silly, i'm talking about y---" reality hits "shit shit, i gave myself away, fuck this new weed, fuck why did it say that, she's gonna hate me, she's my best friend". you are interrupted again by dina saying "do you like me y/n". fuck, dina can be intimidating to others, she scared off your ex girlfriend once, friends who have wronged you and even your own mother when need be, but this intimidating stare was filled with passion and soft eyes but confusion over all. "y-- yes, i do, fuck i didn't wanna ruin anything because we have been friends for years and i didn't wanna fuck anything up... shit i should g---"

a/n: woah, sorry this super long, i had to split it into two parts, it'll be up on my page as well. i hope you all enjoyed reading my first smut fic. i'm sorry if things aren't your tea, i wrote it from personal reads to personal ideas. if you want anything else that i'd be comfortable reading let me know. you don't see too many dina stories but i hope this once you enjoyed.

- c

#dina smut #dina nolastname x reader #dina x masc!reader #dina x fem reader #dina nolastname #dina x you #dina x reader #dina woodward #dina tlou #dina the last of us #wlw ns/fw #wlw smut #sapphic nsft #lgbt nsft #nsft concept

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epilary · 5 months

Text

your instagram if you celebrated a warm christmas with rooster masterlist | requests open

Liked by rooster.shaw and 103 others

y/n finally finishing up for our christmas break <3

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→ rooster.shaw Can't wait to spend christmas with you

→ y/n same here babe, as long as we're not spending it on the beach

→ rooster.shaw Ehh no promises

→ natashatrace nah we'll all be at the hard deck

→ rooster.shaw Which happens to be right next to the beach...

Liked by natashatrace and 121 others

y/n finally decorating for christmas, which we’re definitely late for

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→ natashatrace the y/n I know would NEVER wait this long

→ y/n blame brad!! the dude was always going on extra flights

→ rooster.shaw Hey! Don’t blame me babe, you did extra training too

→ y/n sorry, i had no other reason and i couldn’t admit that i held it back :(

→ SERESIN Wow, can’t believe Rooster scored you

→ y/n i think i scored him

Liked by y/n and 156 others

rooster.shaw Relaxing on the beach with her >>

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→ y/n ahhh i love you so much, loml

→ rooster.shaw I love you too babe, can’t wait for Christmas with you

→ y/n same here, plus maybe natasha.. and bob.. and everyone else

→ SERESIN I hate seeing your posts on here

→ rooster.shaw I love you too Hangman

Liked by SERESIN and 135 others

y/n hot stuff

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→ rooster.shaw Hot recognizes hot

→ y/n that’s insanely too cheesy, but i respect the hustle hot stuff

→ rooster.shaw If you call me hot stuff one more time, I may need to cool off in the shower…

Liked by Bobert and 108 others

y/n little baby puppy getting ready for a stocking full of treats

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→ natashatrace aww he loves you guys so much

→ y/n and just like me, he’s partial to brad

→ rooster.shaw I may or may not hide treats in my pockets

→ y/n you cheat! i may have to take your present away

→ rooster.shaw Is this you breaking up with me? because you’re present enough

→ y/n you’re stupid 🤭

→ Bobert Can’t wait to see the little guy again this weekend

Liked by rooster.shaw and 182 others

y/n cake by the ocean… literally

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→ SERESIN This feels like these posts are targeted

→ y/n not my fault you’re single :/ you’ll find someone hangman

→ rooster.shaw By the way, sweetest thing there definitely wasn’t the cake

→ y/n and cheesiest thing there wasn’t the brie, i love you

→ rooster.shaw I love you too

Liked by y/n and 139 others

rooster.shaw One more day til the rest of our lives

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→ y/n and one more day til penny gets paid enormously

→ rooster.shaw Anything for you

→ natashatrace which reminds me, don’t forget your white elephant presents

→ Bobert Trust me, if it’s anything Rooster won’t forget, it’ll be some stupid gift with Hangman’s name on it

→ rooster.shaw Have a little faith, it’s much better than that

→ SERESIN A round on you?

→ rooster.shaw Only if you beat me at pool, rookie

Liked by rooster.shaw and 190 others

y/n merry christmas to all, a very merry night

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→ rooster.shaw Oh most definitely a very merry night to us

→ y/n omg i would kiss you if you weren’t playing pool right now

→ rooster.shaw The game is over now :)

#bradley rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw imagine #bradley bradshaw fanfiction #bradley bradshaw instagram #instagram fic #top gun maverick #top gun fanfiction #top gun instagram

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sihtricfedaraaahvicius · 1 month

Text

My EACON3 post is finally here... with all my photos.

I'll skip the trip and go straight to the con because I fear it's going to be a long one. I am not going into details about the panels and other things that went on, but mainly about my interactions with the guests as that's what the con is about, right? I am also probably forgetting a bunch of stuff, so I might add things later if I recall them again, and here and there I may remember things in a different order.

The con started friday evening, I had won tickets to the game night and let me tell you I was terrified and not prepared. On top of that I was exhausted from the trip and had shitty medication side effects too because I had swapped meds earlier that week. Yes, fuck my life.

To make all THAT worse, while I was waiting in line to enter the game room I got texts from my friends who were at the cocktail party with the guests and they told me Arnas had long(er) hair and some facial hair. It was over for me before it started (IYKYK)

Luckily his facial hair was minimal and his hair wasn't long enough for me to go insane, but still, the tone was set and I avoided him like the fucking plague for real

Let me first say that I didn't expect Arnas to recognise me to be fair, as it had been like, what, half a year since we met in Germany? We had a brief interaction on insta a few days before eacon tho and that had made me a little anxious that he might remember me, but I did not want to be delusional so I kept telling myself he simply wouldn't remember me (haha....)

For the game I was in a team with Eliza, Stefanie and Ossian. Eliza is the life of the party and made everyone introduce themselves in our group. For some reason people always struggle with my name, so I had to repeat my name like 5 times and the entire group eventually shouted my name back at me to get it right, which the whole room could more or less hear, and behold; I looked up and saw Arnas glanced my way and then I just knew for sure that he now knew it was me (and I stressed out)

The game itself was hilarious, we played the card game Werewolves and Eliza was simply so much fun, Stefanie was more quiet but so sweet and Ossian… fucking hell, me and Ossian became rivals real fast. He kept saying he didn't trust me (in the game) and felt I was suspicious, which led to him turning the whole group against me and being cast out (which was part of the game). Eventually it turned out that he was completely wrong about my character in the game and, well, I casted him out the next round in revenge. We were going at each other, lovingly, and he was 100% the biggest surprise of the weekend for me by how cool he was and I became an instant fan of him because of his personality. 10/10, cool dude!

Random note: at some part during the game I heard Arnas laugh so hard in his own group while our group tried to concentrate and I struggled not to burst in laughter because of that and it was rough.

When the game was over, Christian and Harry stopped by every group for a brief chat and wow; Christian, beautiful man irl?! He also photobombed my group photo we took afterwards. 10/10, lovely dude! and Harry was HILARIOUS. Did not expect, another 10/10!

After the game I left the room and literally walked past Arnas without looking at him because I just couldn't??? I was so nervous because of the stupid jokes I made to him since Germany, I just couldn't face him for some reason and my meds side effects made me want to hide (constant flushed cheeks, it's awful, even when I'm shivering cold) however, I felt bad about avoiding him because I worried then maybe he wondered why I didn't say hi when we clearly "knew each other" so to say but, well, I went to bed and called it a night.

Saturday morning was rough. I slept well, the meds side effects had lessened so I looked more decent (until later that day again ugh) and I had a selfie lounge ticket for 10am (that's no hour for selfies). I met up with @mrsarnasdelicious and we stuck together for the lounge.

James was the first to approach us, and he was incredibly lovely (and tall, wow). He asked us where we were from and was overall just super kind. We took a few photos and then he continued to the next people. 10/10!!

Then Stefanie came over and again, she is lovely and gooooooorgeous!! She told me she liked my dress as it had the shoulders cut out and she loved that it showed my tattoos. I can't remember what else we talked about unfortunately, but just know she was a pleasure to meet. 10/10, hope to meet her again!

Up next we had Mark! I was so excited to finally talk to him, because in Germany I only saw him during my duo photo op, and we couldn't really talk. I told him I was super excited about him being in the second season of Rogue Heroes and he was so enthusiastic I mentioned it that he rambled on about several things that happened on set when he was filming that season and my heart was so, so happy. I did truly have a hard time keeping up with him talking because of his accent. Mark also agreed that 10 in the morning was an ungodly hour for a selfie lounge and we felt both tired lmao. He's a whole 10/10!!

Eliza was next and she remembered me from the game night and I ended up telling her that I saw on her insta that she went to a Coldplay show in Sweden earlier that year, which I was supposed to go to as well, but I had to sell my tickets due to several reasons. We had a Coldplay fangirl moment and it was everything, I got to show her my several Coldplay tattoos as well and basically she's just a queen who hypes everyone up. Love her! We agreed that at the next Coldplay tour we'll be together at the show (I wish!) 10/10!!!!

Then we met Eysteinn!! My god!! No words. He is so sweet and shy and soft spoken, we absolutely vibed. We bonded over the fact that we both love to travel by train and really don't like travelling by plane. He loves to journal during his trips while I told him I love to read or just watch the scenery. Absolutely a blessing of a man! When I took our selfie I told him that I suck at taking selfies, and he said he has the same problem, so we just made the best of it together. 14/10, he's absolutely adorable.

The dreaded moment arrived…………… Arnas came up to us at this point and I had no chance of avoiding him anymore and all my bad jokes flashed before my eyes-

He greeted me with a happy 'Labas!' (Hi in Lithuanian) and he gave me a hug and I told him 'Laba diena' (good day) which he said was very good. Before I could say anything else he asked me where Danas was (long backstory to this, won't write that all here) I told him Danas did not want to join me to the con so he's back home. Arnas then went on a ramble about how he understood that, because he also wouldn't want to be in the same room with the guy his partner would have a crush on and also wondered why it's okay for women to have crushes, but boyfriends are not allowed to have crushes. I said 'I asked Danas several times who his crush is, but he always tells me he has none.'

Arnas was very pleased with himself here and said; 'haha, see, I totally tricked you into telling me I'm your crush, because I didn't know that.'

me: well *rolls eyes, lowkey shrug* (I believe at this point he "teased" @mrsarnasdelicious for a moment and girlie, you know you were rightfully flustered and it was cute, while I was left rather unphased by his remarks and I still believe that is why he began to rile you up hahaha)

Arnas then went on about the crushes problem in relationships and mentioned to me his gf would "not be happy" if he had a crush. He then somehow flipped the topic towards being obsessed with someone and I cut him off there saying; 'wow, but now you're implying I'm obsessed with you, and that is completely something else.'

Mans got put back in his place and apologised because he was totally blowing smoke up his own ass there (in his own words) and agreed that having a crush and being obsessed are two different things. And honestly the whole moment was chaotic and very surreal.

We also somehow ended up talking about other Lithuanian words and I told him I knew the word that means chicken, which he agreed was very important to know and we started saying 'chicken' in different languages, he then asked me what the French word was and we pondered for a second but I then remembered and it was rather wholesome and completely random????????

We finally got ready to take our selfie but then he wanted to record a video for Danas in Lithuanian. He started talking and I was like; 'what, no, I'm taking a photo?' He then said we could take a photo first but insisted on the video so yeah we made a video where he said some Lithuanian saying and yeah.. It was again very, very surreal. 10/10, still baffled he remembered me and Danas, who he has never met.

Up last we met Timothy and I told him I was very excited to meet him, because in Germany I was too broke to get a photo with him. We spoke about the German con and he said how surreal that con was because he had slept at the airport, arrived just in time, then at one point he went to the toilet and walked into William Shatner, which left him kinda starstruck, and he said 'it felt like I was in the upside down!' and then he apparently walked out of the toilets and walked into a Stranger Things cosplayer and he was about to lose his mind. Genuinely the most amazing anecdote of the weekend. Another 10/10!

Later that day I had polaroid photo ops, one with Eysteinn and one with Arnas. Eysteinn was once again lovely and asked if we should just pose cool, and well, see the result below.

The polaroid with Arnas was chaos again. For some reason he likes to say 'Sanneeeeee' when he sees me (vocal stim? perhaps. also he never struggled with my name, bless) so he did that, but I was exhausted from the whole day and couldn't hide it anymore while he was still high energy. He gave me a hug as I said I was so tired and we then cursed in Dutch at the same time. I asked if he knew anything else in my language and he proceeded to say in Dutch; 'what do you want?' and this left me shook: 'sleep tight, hot thing' (roughly translated). James then asked what language we spoke, we said Dutch, which James thought was cool and he got ready to take the photo. I asked Arnas how we should pose and he went 'should we do the Lithuanian anthem or is that too much?' I jokingly agreed it was too much and we both placed our hand on our heart and James said he loved the pose and told us to hold it. See the result below!

The panels I went to throughout the day were fun and I also met several super lovely people during the day like @whitedarkmoonflower, @bubblyabs (we hung out most of the con and again, bless you!) and also I met @sihtricsafin!

Later that day I was getting an autograph from Arnas and gave him the letters and art some people had sent to me, which he absolutely loved at first quick glance, and he said that his favorite con moment is actually after the con where he goes through the stuff that people have given him. He randomly told me he liked my necklace and I told him I actually got in in Vilnius at a fair earlier that year and he liked that, then asked me which fair it was but I told him I didn't remember. We then spoke a bit about Vilnius in general and it was great. When he saw the keychain that @thalygremlinsson made him (a gremlin with his mismatched eyes) he said he'd put it on his keychain and he also told me a random story how a firework flew into his home when he was a kid while he was playing with a gremlin toy??? I also have no idea besties. Anyway, we got to take another selfie again and…

Speaking about my friend @sihtricsafin… we joined each other in the autograph line for Arnas, and she had bought a recording of her autograph and asked me to film it, which I did, and well, the problems between me and Arnas then began. His handwriting was brought up and he remembered I messaged him as a reply to his story months ago that I thought his writing has not good enough to get tattooed (lighthearted) he agreed then and wrote he was happy I hadn't tattooed it, but apparently he was still "bitter" about that and we got it all on tape.

Also we found out he has never seen Nightmare Before Christmas and did not know who Jack Skellington was after asking my friend about the skull on her beanie (it was Jack), he then jokingly said something like that they didn't have a tv in Lithuania when he was younger.

Also found out he thinks Muse is a great band and he played Otherside by RHCP on his speaker at some point (bass player!Sihtric confirmed???)

Aaaand that was more or less the end of my saturday at the con!

Sunday was rough. I was very tired from the days before but we pulled through. The day started with a group panel and later that day I had a photo op with Arnas.

Mans absolutely looked me up and down when I approached him at the op and ngl, I am not attracted to Arnas in real life (unless he has the SKMD/Masema haircut and the facial hair) but that split second 100% affected me and left me bewildered for a sec LMAO

I had no idea how to pose, and he said 'oh, classic, Sanne,' (someone was still petty (jk)) and then we both just posed as if we had no clue what to do, but it turned out to look like we are a married couple in the verge of a divorce and I love it

@whitedarkmoonflower gave me an autograph ticket for Mark (as I gave her two selfie tickets so we kinda swapped) and Mark gives great hugs btw! He signed my book but the marker fucked up so I got the cover and the inside page signed by him. bless.

Later that day I had a selfie with Christian and one with Harry because they weren't at the selfie lounge on saturday. Harry was so kind and I wished him good luck with all his future projects and he really really appreciated that. He's so sweet! When I took my photo with Christian he said 'oh, great camera! Or do we just look good because we are two beautiful people?'

Now, I usually ignore compliments bc I suck with them, but I just said 'both,' because in that moment we were just two beautiful people taking a selfie. He said he loved my skull tattoo and that he considered getting a skull tattoo himself (something along those lines) which was really cool???

I then went to Eysteinn to get my polaroid signed, and he said he liked the photo and that we looked like a death metal band. I said I'm up for that and told him I can play drums, he then told me he can play piano and I said we could make that work, to which he smiled (god… that smile). He loves to give hugs, so I got one, and it was great!!

Okay… so, very last minute I decided to get my polaroid with Arnas signed and it was a shit show (positive). It started with the fact he mentioned he didn't like the Beatles (he was playing his own music on speaker again) except for one song and he then looked at me and said 'or is it because I am a snob?' I shrugged and said 'perhaps.' Big mistake. He was "offended" and said he thought he was amongst friends here. I snapped back and told him I heard from my friends the day before that he told them that I trash talk about his handwriting to everyone (something like that). He got defensive and said it wasn't true blahblahblah, we both didn't give up and (lovingly) argued about it. He then finally signed my polaroid and messed up (obviously with that handwriting) and he said that it was my fault (man child) and wrote a petty ass message on the polaroid (toddler). We then told each other (more quietly) that he wasn't talking bad about me and I told him I knew that, but it was sweet of him to clear up that he truly never intended to make something sound bad and I in my turn told him I understood that, and there was this mutual understanding that everything was just a joke but that bickering was rather intense, and I think we both felt the need to make sure we both knew this was never serious, which truly made me love his personality even more.

We ended on good terms and a hug, I told him good evening in Lithuanian and then left. And with that, the con got to an end too.

When I got home the next evening I had only stepped through the door and received a dm from Arnas with a photo of the postcard I gave him, indicating he had read my message to him and it was honestly the most perfect way to end that entire weekend. The timing was insane and I shed a tear!

Well then… if you are still reading this, damn, thank you! I hope you enjoyed this mess of a post and here are the photos. also yes I know, I have like one selfie face, I already said I suck at selfies...

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