11/24/2020, 10:45 PM
My heart 😌
11/24/2020, 10:45 PM
My heart 😌
You know those rare people you connect to? They just get you and it’s amazing how similar you both are. Everything seems good with them. You are so comfortable with them and you are able to talk about everything with them. No, I am not talking about a boyfriend or a girlfriend. I meant a friend.
I found one. It was so great. We used to spent hours talking to each other. We used to usually talk at night so I used to sneak out to the balcony so as to not wake up my parents and pretend we were together on a terrace or a roof, looking at the stars while sharing secrets to each other.
Here we are now, awkward for some reason. We are like those best friends everybody used to be jealous of, but as life went by, they drifted apart. Now, when they see each other in the corridors of the school, they look at each other and debating whether they should say hi or not. I don’t know how or why we ended up like this but I miss you.
We were always on and off with our friendship and it was okay. It didn’t really matter then. But this time it does and I know you felt the same way. I guess part the reason it didn’t matter that we used to go on and off with our friendship like those toxic relationships was that I always knew we will cross paths again, but this time I am not so sure.
You know how much I hate my birthday cause you do too, but I think we made each other’s birthdays special. I am usually very miserable on my birthday but from three years continuously you have been making me smile even if it’s for few seconds. I remember my last birthday which was the absolute worst for me, harder than any other birthdays and you made me smile even then! You called me at midnight to wish me and it was so special for me cause I didn’t expect it then. We weren’t that close then.
I remember when we had stopped talking yet again but I still went ahead and called you to wish you on your birthday two years ago. You were so damn happy and it made me smile.
And now I am not so sure you will call me and for the first time I am wishing you will. It’s our thing. I want you to call me and make me happy. Please call me otherwise it will break my heart. It will be a sign that we won’t be talking again and just thinking about it breaks my heart.
You are one of those rare friends for me and I am not ready to lose you completely yet.
Me and my Beautiful Zoey Bear
Love, love, you tell
me you love me
And I love you too. I do.
It was after tonight, when we spoke until dawn
That the work had been done.
I was happy, I was over the moon
to talk at large with you. And still I cried
in the dark lonely room
when the phone disconnected and
I was left to think about how much I hate you.
I’m grieving when I say it, I am struck
every time I do.
There’s no one closer to me than you
Yet I cry as dry as burnt sand
When I think about what you said
When I told you my plans.
But I’m sensitive, truly yes I am.
I really am, I flinch at the slightest
And I ache at the touch of a hand.
I am the charged, convicted with your crime
And it makes me so happy that my sight, unbarbed
still sees you as my friend.
The song at the end is below.
Ah yes, the problem of „I don’t like hugging ppl I don’t know well“ so you tell new acquaintances you don’t like hugs but when you eventually become friends with them and would be ok with hugging they never do bc you told them not to and you’re too anxious and awkward to tell them that it’s ok now bc you’re comfortable around them
I guess we all have a close friend that has gone through a lot of bad stuff & bad relationship and sometimes we can’t keep it to ourselves how we feel about their choises when it comes to the people in their lives. Maybe we shouldn’t do that, but they are a significant part of our lives and we have to open help them through stuff.
Sometimes it pisses me off that she lets idiots take advantage of her youth, her craziness, her beauty, her kindness…
Is still the beginning of the winter and all I wish right now is that she had the power to blossom yet again, like she did after every time that someone broke her trust & her heart, but never her beauty nor her kindness. 💔
I Got Chills Watching This:
Captain Daniele De Rossi Last Roma Chant (English Translation):
Never fails to make me tear up. He was everything and more. Thank you Captain.
Shane is a trans man, and both Spike and Wheels are his biggest help when it comes to taking his testosterone shots (he gets nervous around the needle) and reassuring him he looks “man enough”.
enjoy all that you’re thankful for & give thanks for all you enjoy 🙌🏻🤍🦃☀️💃🏼