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Hold the phone, Elsa can go back to Arendelle for charades night* but not for a dedication of a statue of her parents?

* Presuming Anna’s letter is to be taken at face value and Elsa will actually come. Versus one of those depressing scenarios where Person A gets an event all prepared and tells the guest(s) not to be late in the vain hope they’ll finally show up this time even though they never have before and most likely won’t again.

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Ok so am I the only one who still watches the teaser just to remember how it felt when it came out for the first time?

I will never forget the feeling. I got on YouTube and this video came up on my recommended videos. It had been posted just a few minutes after I got on YouTube. As soon as I saw it, I let out a gasp and eyes were wide open with shock and excitement.

I had to go in another room away from my family because I knew that I was going to need a moment after watching it… and I was right. After I watched it the first time, I couldn’t say or do anything. I just sat there. Then after about a minute, I finally said “whoa.” It was such a feeling that I don’t know if I can actually describe it.

Then I showed it to my family, and they said the same thing I did, but not with as much enthusiasm as I had. See, when the first Frozen came out, I was what you would call and Frozen Addict. And I was proud of it. But after 4 years, I was thinking that maybe it was time for me to let it go. But then the teaser came, and now it’s like I’m back to that Frozen Addict from all those years ago. But you know what? It’s okay. I’m not ashamed. If people want to hate me for loving something so much, they can go right ahead.

Because Frozen is the most amazing thing in the world. Everything about it is beautiful, especially my favorite sisters, Elsa and Anna. I could go on about how much I love them, but that’s another story.

But anyway, I still watch this because I love the feeling that I had back then, and I still get it every single time I watch it.

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A cute lil project I’m working on with #disneycouples that I love

I just a few more I wanna do before I finish them and put them on my wall somewhere lol

#painting #canvas #disney #art #disneyart #theprincessandthefrog #tangled #thelittlemermaid #frozen

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Just wanted to give a blog-style update from my corner of radio silence circa the past month or so. Not that anything prolific has happened (besides the world going to hell in a handbasket,) but I have a lot of feelings to process about…. everything. I’m an Enneagram 4, what can I say?

First- I’m currently not working as my job is one in an “unessential” industry that’s been forced to temporarily close. Which is wholly fine with me! I have a few health conditions that put me at high-risk for COVID-19 complications despite only being 26. I’m more than happy to avoid the public sphere. Maybe it’s all my free time that has me looking toward Tumblr again to fill my brain, LOL.

Second- Two months ago I left a large art-based RP group over on deviantART. While this probably seems like irrelevant info, it’s resulted in a mini-crisis of wondering who I am artistically. My profession is graphic design & illustration. All my hobby art was poured into this RP group. Now without that “prompt,” I’m finding myself unprepared for the freedom I feel as an artist. What do I want to draw? Frozen art? Illustrations from my favorite musicals? Socio-political commentary? I don’t know. My art has stalled. And I’m OKAY with that- I no longer feel guilty about it- but as a creative both professionally & personally, it’s resulted in a tiny identity crisis. (And don’t get me wrong: It’s fine. It’ll sort itself out eventually.)

Now, as for my month-long avoidance of Tumblr:

This is a tricky thing to speak on eloquently because I love Tumblr, I love the Frozen community, and I love Frozen (duh.) There’s not other shoe to drop here. All those things remain true.

Maybe it’s my ADHD that causes poor regulation of my emotional states, or my penchant for fixations, or my depressive tendencies, but I seem to be unable love something in small increments. It’s all-or-nothing.

Frozen is one of those things that triggers such an emotional eruption in me. It brings me so much joy but also so much pain for this same reason. It drains me. It sucks out all my emotional intelligence. I adore Elsa so much that seeing her pop up on my Instagram feed makes my heart hurt. She grips me so tightly that I can’t breathe. If I surrendered to my every Frozen impulse and whim, I’d be largely non-functional. 

I don’t read fanfic or participate in AUs for this reason. I can’t listen to the soundtrack as background noise. I can’t watch the movie unless I devote a whole day to thinking about it. I have to limit my daily indulgence in Frozen. Because otherwise it will consume me to the detriment of my real-life responsibilities. It’s like emotional junk food addiction. It leaves me exhausted.

(if you want another example- the day I found out Kate McKinnon existed, I had to take a day off work because life became unbearable knowing she was out there in the world. I instantly loved her so much (in a definitely gay way) that my ability to be productive ground to a halt. That sounds so ridiculous and dramatic and irrational, and I hate that this is a facet of my personality, but regardless: it happens.)

So let me reiterate: this isn’t healthy, poetic, or a sign of real devotion- it’s pretty lousy. It’s akin to codependency with a concept instead of a person. 

It’s called emotional dysregulation & it’s a companion to executive dysfunction. 

I guess this is the reason why I avoid Tumblr sometimes. While the Frozen fandom is the echo-chamber I want to be in, it’s just not sustainable or healthy for me to spend hours reading & pining & thinking & dreaming & listening to the songs & rewatching every frame of Elsa & speculating on headcanons, etc. It ends up bringing me pain to invest so much emotional energy in the franchise solely by virtue of sucking the life out of me, and so while I do actually love Frozen, I can’t be a hardcore fan who lets it consume my life.

And regardless: I adore the discourse here. You guys help make Elsa mean even MORE to me. I know I’m not the most involved or active person here, but I feel kinship with everyone who writes & creates Frozen-adjacent content. 

I’m going to be more active here because I need an outlet for my Frozen ruminations among like-minded people. It’s still my favorite movie and Elsa is still my favorite fictional character of all time. That won’t change. 

I realize demonizing the movie & franchise isn’t the answer, nor is just avoiding it at every turn. I guess I’m still learning how to love something softly & healthily. Give it space to mean everything to me without staking my livelihood on it. 

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