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#Fuck it even Tankmen
edgydadster · 1 year
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SHARP INHALE I NEED TO "VENT". No it isn't sad it's not like last time's I just NEED to get it out and scream it into the void that is tumblr
Even if nobody listens I NEED to say it
I FUCKING LOVE HER. Jesus fuckin christ long distance is a pain in the ass. I miss her I want her here I'm just imagining us being together and oh I can't want until that day comes. I don't want to seem obsessive or over attached but every day I want to send paragraphs of how much she means to me but UGH that'd be annoying. I'd feel weird, I'd feel cringe, I'd feel so so annoying. I am cringe weird and annoying lmfao. Y'know I feel like such a boomer. On vacation I see like dumb couple things even if it's just those stupid matching shirts or those cringey quotes but it makes me SMILE. I was at a candle lit dinner with my family and I looked over to my left to see a table for two. All I thought about was us sitting at that table. In the dark, with a tiny lil candle, eating food and being silly together. All a guy could ask for... Always wanna send her stuff like that but I feel cringey. ... Y'know. God I can't believe I'll probably have to wait years. I'm willing though. I don't care how long it takes. I'll wait. It's hard but oh I can't IMAGINE how good it'll feel. I get butterflies and red faced even when I just get a message saying "hi." Every little bit of text got me laying down kicking my feet giggling. I've genuinely never felt so in love with someone. Even to my ex I never loved her this much which I feel bad saying but it's the truth. I'm head over heels for this fucking doofus, or... however that saying goes. Don't remember what half of them mean lmfao. I swear my head's going to explode with all the blood rushing to my cheeks whenever we talk, hang out... Christ she's the prettiest, hottest, funniest, funnest...etcetc person I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. I cry thinking about where I'd be if we had never met. ... And became friends over a tankmen reference, lmfao. Hhhh sorry I just needed to say that. I'll go fuel my brain with thinking about Cycass now since it reminds me of us lol
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sorry for any grammar mistakes i'm not revising this this is just off the top of my silly little head
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ticklebillcipherrn · 8 months
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A Commanders' Weakness
Wow! My first fic! I'm sorry @trashyswitch , I'm obsessed with Lee!Commander right now. I can't believe there's no art or something!
Summery: Commander got captured by the Tankmen. One thing he knows, that he is going to have a really bad time. One thing he doesn't know, however, is how they even found out his secret.
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How did this happen? He felt like he got dragged out of bed...but he didn't remember what happened that night. All he really knew right now, was that he was tied to a very odd chair. Instead of the usual metal chains bound to the armrests, they were bounding his arms to the side of him, raising a little above his head. Not only that, but his chair went a little down, like a dentist chair or something. Commander never knew why, but every time he got captured, he got extremely anxious. Maybe he was scared of what was to come? Nah, he took it like a man. Right then, a door opened, and tankmen came spilling out, Captain at the front.
" Well well well, look who's here " The Captain smirked, staring at the helpless Commander.
“ Let me go ya crazy bastards! “ Commander demanded. Why did he say that? These are the Tankmen for fucks sake! His eyes glared, but the Captain detected a sign of fear in them.
" Scared, are we? And you just called me a bastard! The disrespect! " The Captains' smile only grew bigger. This is where the plan started- he was going to torture this guy. " Lets get started, shall we? "
" Start what- " Oh if he had started at any other spot. His arms, his hands, his belly, any other spot then the underarms, then he wouldn't have broke so easily. But he did, now he was squirming like crazy in the chair, snorting, blushing, and in front of the other tankmen too! This was truly the most embarrassing moment of his life.
" NOHOHOHOHOH S-STOP snort PLEHEHEHEHAHAHAH!! " This really had only started, and it would get worse from here...
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Wow! I feel like I did good? Sorry this is so short! I'm pretty braindead right now- I was thinking about making this for a few days, and I couldn't think of an ending 😅 Hope you enjoyed! Bye my little fox cubs! 💖
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sn1p1ng888 · 8 months
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Tank mank time but no full ref sob sobs
Due to lack of motivation for full refs (god what the fuck am I gonna be like during comic time 😭😭😭😭) I am presenting to you people some silly tank mens I made bc I felt like it; YIPPEEEE
so please do meet ELIOT AND RED, even though they’re in the same post they have ONLY SPOKEN LIKE ONCE !!!!
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I’ll start with Eliot because… skrunkly. Eliot is a 17 year old cadet who is in training to become an aviator. He’s overly bright and sunny, and his silly personality often gets on people’s nerves. Eliot absolutely REFUSES to see the negative in anything, hell he even struggles with hurting henchmen. Mostly, he sits in the jet with his mentor Ned, who is the exact opposite to him; a much older, more experienced and actually kinda nasty old fuck. Sometimes Eliot cries himself to sleep over Ned’s words to him. TANKMEN: FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY!!!!!
Anyway, Red time. Red is just a regular scout, nothing special minus his background. He had his own problems as a kid, choosing to cope by causing problems on purpose. This behaviour never ceased, carrying on into his 20’s. Not even boarding school fixed him, unlike a certain other guy. After falling out with his buddy, Red got into worse trouble, landing himself in prison multiple times, until eventually he ended up fucking with the wrong guy. Well, guys. Tank guys. After being taken, he was told he was taking up too much room in the prison and would probably be killed… unless he became a soldier. Which he did, obviously because otherwise I wouldn’t be writing about him here. Despite his troubled past, Red’s actually gained a decent amount of respect in the platoon. He has a chilled out and casual demeanour, but beneath that is an absolute rowdy fucker who just wants to watch the world burn. He was once in ‘the alligator squad’ (before gator, so before it was named that), but doesn’t need to be there anymore, so he sorta acts like the devil on gator’s shoulder.
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fictionkinfessions · 1 year
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Yo one time I was playing Pony Town as any mentally ill person, creature, or eldritch horror does, and this other person who was cosplaying as a friend from my source came up to me (I was playing as a skin of myself so I attracted the attention of other fans), and they were cool. Until they started telling ME about their SEXUAL HEADCANNONS about *ME*. LIKE YO I LITERALLY HAD AN INDICATOR IN MY NAME THAT TELLS YOU I'M FICKIN 😭. AND IT GETS EVEN WORSE! The creator of my source has literally come out and explicitly stated that me and everyone else from my source are ASEXUAL (which I had a gut kin feeling that was true <3, I could vividly remember me myself being ace, and vaguely remember others being ace as well. In my cannon, at least. Other kins can obviously be cannon divergent!). Now any of my canonmates can still be *romantically* attracted to others, but me and this friend from my source were absolutely NOT attracted to eachother in any way 😭😭 what the fuck yo 😭
-Ted, Tankmen (#CAPTAIN🔵🤺)
'
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a total of one person said they want to see my awful mouse ms paint drawings so here
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this next one is directed at @t0mmiechampz
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i feel bad for this one
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then theres the ones based on the hunger games sim in the tankmen server
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then @alpha-lyrae made a slimecicle cinematic universe joke about the steve with the apple that i drew (if you know you know) so naturally
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schteve
and then i also drew catboy sam... dont ask me why i dont know, but image limit my own personal hell so thatll be in part two
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willowbyte · 2 years
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ah shit, here we go again
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making aus that cater to me specifically is my Passion
i am, once again, apologizing for my amateur writing
Capbot
Sensei is a computer scientist tasked with making a robot for the military to guard society, he was eager to create his own AI until he found out he had to replicate the personality of a well known videogame character. He didn't liked the idea but hey, at least he was given the chance to create one of the very first conscious robots.
Cloud is a robotics prodigy, she was paired with Sensei to complete the Capbot project. Her curiosity and gut trust has always led her to great results and when constructing the body of Captain this was no exception. She admires Sensei a lot even if sometimes he can look annoyed at her mere presence.
Captain originates from a videogame beloved by many, The Tankmen. While it was intended for him to be a war machine, Sensei was not given this information and created an AI who's main purpose was to look after people, as a result he came out... rather clumsy, but very protective over the assigned person.
His relationship with Cloud is almost sibling-like, with her enthusiastically showing him all the stuff of the real world and him just having fun and following along. Sensei has tried to convince himself to Not Like Him but his joyful attitude and personality were just too charming to not get attached, then he remembers how Captain loves to tease him and Sensei goes back into hating him (affectionately).
Meanwhile in the other lab, scientists Pico and Keith were tasked with making a bot of the second main character, and unlike Sensei and Cloud, they went straight to the point.
(LOLL SORRY FOR USING KEITH AS BF'S NAME I'M NOT CREATIVE ENOUGH TO COME UP WITH ANOTHER NAME. also that second main character is Steve)
Shimepai
(idk why i wrote this different than the rest, but it sounds like an advertisement so i like it lol)
(Heavily inspired by @/s0dap0pzxx's Senpai Shimeji, love the little guy)
This living malware disguised as a Shimeji and a Desktop Assistant first appeared out of nowhere in fan forums of Hating Simulator.
At first glance he seems to act like your regular shimeji, except he cannot duplicate. He walks, crawls and dances around your screen offering you tips and sometimes saying cute little messages! when right clicking he can also work as a Direct Access for different applications or folders of your choice. However soon you might notice some of your documents might have changed places, don't worry! That's just lil Shimepai getting to know your computer! Sometimes you'll see files with different names that you originally remembered, that's part of the process too.
When he starts getting more comfortable you'll see him modifying some settings, chatting with your friends and even delete some of your apps and files to save you some space! He can sometimes pull tiny pranks. Just be sure to not make him angry if you don't want your computer to be factory reset.
Over all, Shimepai is just trying to adapt and feel cozy in his new home, maybe at the cost of your entire device and personal data but can you blame him? you gave him access to this amazing paradise!
Private Sen
This newest member of the army is an unexpected ray of positivity in the battlefield. While most people find him annoying at first, some will get used to his sweet presence, he can also be really sassy at times.
Him and Steve get along rather well, having kind of a friendly rivalry. Private tries his best to impress Captain but this can sometimes end in him fucking up the base, or accidentally shooting his rifle to someone's leg
Captain just finds him funny.
Idk where else i can put this but this guy has plot armor, like no matter how many times a tankmen enemy is shooting him from behind the tankmen always misses and Private is oblivious to the entire fucking situation.
Hellpai
(this idea came out from these icons in an Expurgation cover. i just. wanted to share the info.)
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(so i guess they count as a minus design? i dunno lol)
(excuse the name lmao but i couln't think of anything. also i would like to clarify that Hellpai is not spirit)
After wandering far, far away from his military base, Captain gets cursed and his soul gets chained to a long forgotten spirit.
While Captain, Steve and this creature that looks like came out from the gates of hell figure out how to break the curse for everyone involved, they have to get used to their new companion, and honestly? it wasn't as bad as they would have expected.
This nameless spirit acted aggressively at first encounter, mostly for self defense. He didn't had the liberty to talk, he could grumble and maybe say a word (cough cough this would occur later on) but he could never make full sentences, like he was not allowed to do so.
Everything before he met Captain was a blur, he didn't remember much. Maybe he once had a peaceful life? A life full of commodities on a civilisation lost in time, where he could just stretch his arm and anything he needed fell directly to his hand. What kind of person was he? A bad person? Was that the reason why he was like this? All those questions whose answers felt he was supposed to know, and yet he couldn't think of anything beyond those decades of claustrophobic solitude. Whatever had happened, he was comforted that, at least, he was no longer in that prison
and to be fair, he enjoyed being with these silly 'tankmen'
quite a lot
Deltarune AU / Angel Holiday
(can you tell i made this au when my deltarune fixation clashed with my fnf one)
Angel Holiday was adopted by the Holiday family, being the middle child between her younger sister Noelle and her older sister Dess, he is also the second only human in the surface.
Angel tries to make himself look assertive and confident, however he always makes sure to please other monsters and do as they say, after all, he just wants to be just like them
Ever since they were kids, Angel and Kris were looked down because they were humans, this made them become closer to each other. As they both grew up, comparisons grew stronger, adults always saying 'why couldn't Kris be well behaved like Angel' and other complaints of that type, this made Kris somewhat resentful of Angel. Slowly, the friendship they built in their childhood faded, becoming only classmates that rarely talked only because of Noelle.
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After school, Angel realized Noelle forgot her notebook, he knew she was going to the library with Berdly to continue their project, so he went there to return it to her. Last thing Angel was expecting was a black void in the computer lab that would throw him and the rest of his classmates into an adventure that felt like a fever dream, and maybe treat some unhealed wounds in the process
Extra stuff:
The flowers in his face slowly fall the more true he is to himself (the more he lies, the more they grow)
Angel's soul color is cyan (i still feel indecisive about this one)
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justcommander · 3 years
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So, about hurting the Scared Sniper when Ted’s around... maybe don’t, yeah? Don’t. Even if he’s not around, he’ll come to know, and you’ll regret it. Also I think that, despite initial pain when he gets injured, Ted acts like those people in medieval paintings where they are getting a sword shoved down their brains and they don’t give a fliying fuck about it. Aaand yes, look at Lieutenant and Segreant there. I’m starting to get attached to that square goggles dumbass and his pal- He’s called Sergeant right-? I checked that badge, I think it’s something similar to sergeant major. And yeah couldn’t kill Tim. They’re just gonna keep him prisoner this time aorund- How come Tankmen are the only ones getting captured? Karma, man. Karma!
Oh well- this took way too long. I’m happy about how I drew this but it took soo long.
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Would ya look at that! Iss a captain x reader fanfic!
Pairing: Captain X Reader
Genre: Angsty Fluff (Prepare to cry in a good way)
Fandom: Tankmen AN: ignore the misspells its 2am
TW: A lot of swearing. Yea.
Why tf am I doing this
Anyway just stargazing fluff w captain. I fucking hate my life. I didn’t wanna finish the end lol so suck my cliffhanger dick.
You always had a hard time sleeping since you joined the army. You always had so much to think about. Recent encounters with the enemy, philosophical paradoxes, and… the douche that was captain. You’d go to the gym to exercise your thoughts away, but you decided, fuck it. You went up to the roof of the building, gazing up at the sky. One of the only things that stayed the same throughout the chaos that is war. A clear night sky was quite rare! You looked up at the stars, trying to distract yourself. From everything. The pain of war, the meaning of life, and your past struggles with love. You had quite a few encounters with the latter emotion, and none served you well. But here you were again. You were just another run of the mill soldier. How could you even have a chance with goddamn CAPTAIN of all people. All the thoughts were just too much. So much shit was flooding your head at once, because all the thoughts you suppressed just came flooding back to you all at once. So like any normal person, you went as far away from the dorms as possible, and started fucking screaming. About everything. Venting to whatever god was up there, begging it to have mercy. As you took another little break to sob, you heard heavy footsteps up the metal stairs. Fuck. Who’d you piss off this time? You hid behind a duct opening and prayed to Christ that it was Steve. All the other soldiers would fuckin kill your ass, so would Ted, and well, the worst case scenario- you couldn’t even complete the thought as the aforementioned worst case scenario started talking. Whelp, I guess the duct wasn’t the best place to hide. There you were curled up in a ball, ready to get a right scolding for waking up captain himself. But what he said next was enough to reinduce the sorry state you were in before having to hide with bated breath. “Are you ok, kiddo?” Two years ago. The last time you were asked that question, just before you joined this fucking shithole of an army. And here you were. Crying like a baby, as captain tried desperately to check you for injuries. “I heard you screaming like a fucking sissy, you good man?” In a desperate attempt to get you to cheer up, he was just throwing insults in a panic. Steve once told him that ya probably shouldn’t insult an injured person, and told him to first ask this, if there was any distress. “Mental, or physical pain? Do I need to take you to the infirmary? Should I carry you?” Panic is an understatement. You were ofc having a mental breakdown on the floor screaming “I DONT EVEN KNOW ANYMORE!” He didn’t know what to do, so, he asked a simple question. One his mom asked him whenever he cried. “Do you want a hug?” As those words came out of his mouth, you tackled him in a hug, pushing both of you onto the ground. Still trying his best not to upset you more, he started to pat you on the head, trying to calm you down. Feeling completely and utterly useless and weak. Infront of your crush? What luck. You felt utter despair. He’d never like you in this state. At that moment you realized just how sus this was. Yikes. You. Were. Cuddling. With. CAPTAIN! As you continued to drift into despair, Captain, in the most awkward tone you have ever heard, said “uhhhh, y-ya like stargazin?” “Kinda, yea…” You try to look up at the stars, trying to gain control over all your thoughts. The moon. The stars. The Big Dipper. Orion’s Belt. Andromeda. You felt an invisible weight on your back lift gradually, as you mumble out a tired “Thank you so much, sir. For calming my stupid ass down.”
“Well, ya damn near woke everyone up so it was probably best that I calm you down.” “Yea. Sorry for the trouble sir.”
“Wanna talk about it? Or would you like to simply sit in silence.” He took your silence as an affirmation for the latter. Minutes later, you asked John, “how about you, ya like stargazing?-Ah shit crap sorry, shouldn’t be that informal, sir“ “You using me as a pillow is informal enough, but I guess I’ll let it slide since you literally just had a mental breakdown right infront of me. … about stargazing, I never really had time for it. Ya know, army business.” “Want me to show you some constellations?” As you pointed out the stars, all your worries melted away. Having laughs about the constellations he guessed wrong. Time passes fast when you have fun. You checked your watch. 3am. As you laid on his chest, you started feeling quite sleepy. As you fell asleep, you mumbled a near inaudible “I kinda… like you…” Little did you know, Captain was wide awake.
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You woke up to someone shaking you violently. Gunshots can be heard in the distance. “HEY MAN, WAKE UP, WE’RE AT FUCKING WAR. FUCKING SURPRISE ATTACKS! THEY'VE SEIGED THE BASE, SOME GOT IN. HEY YOU WITH ME, KIDDO?” You vision starts blurring. You can feel Captain hoist you up onto his shoulder.
“INCASE I DIE, JUST KNOW THAT I FEEL THE SAME WAY. YOUR COURAGE AS A SOLDIER IS NEAR THE SAME SIZE AS MY MAGNUM DONG. IVE SEEN YOU OUT THERE, YA FEARLESS FUCKO! RUN OF THE MILL SOLDIER MY ASS. NOW LETS GO BEFORE WE GET FUCKING BLASTED!”
With each step he took the black spots in your vision spread, until…
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doodlevore · 2 years
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Is tankmen vore still a thing here? just curious.
It is... kinda? I think? I haven't posted it since August, and its mostly because Tankmen kinda gets repetitive after a while. There's only, what 7 characters? Not including the added like 3 or 4 from Infinity. The whole series is fucking 15 minutes long, about 20 minutes including Infinity. I love Tankmen but its very limited on content.
Compared to something like Madness which is still having shit made for it 20 years later. You've got the main animations, the incidents files, Dedmos adventures, the Dissenter and Experiment animations, original Project Nexus and PN2 which just came out a couple months ago. Thats not even getting into all the fangames and animations the community has made. Madcom is also repetitive in its own way, but its got a lot more going on with lore and characters than Tankmen does, and for somebody who loves characters more than anything else in a story, the Madcom community is more enjoyable.
I have been thinking about drawing it though for a few weeks, I just don't have a clear idea on what I want to draw.
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clanwarrior-tumbly · 3 years
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hi clan, may i offer you a dream i just had involving tankmen? jdkdnshjf i don't remember exactly how it started but i believe me, steve, john and spiner were trying to buy something together but none of us had $30 and panicked even more after we learned that we would have to spend $546 if we wanted more of whatever, but here's the thing, for some reason none of us could read the number 546 out loud, so sniper turns to me, a dyslexic person, and i instantly fuck it up multiple times but the more i say it wrong the more i laugh??????slldjshdk at this point i'm on the floor practically dying of laughter and john turns to me asking if i know how much is 10+10+10+6 and i simply cannot answer him because????? sir it's Basic Math SJLFKDH after a while of staring at me in bewilderment, he starts laughing with me then snorts and apparently that was the breaking point for me because i woke up laughing irl AHJDHSGDJ anyway it was a fun dream, i thought i should share it with someone
Steve, John, and Sniper not knowing math sounds absolutely CANON gjshgjhaghsg
I wish I had your dreams, anon, that sounded like fun xD
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unleashourpassion · 3 years
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Neon Radiance
Captain needs better friends. And enemies too.
(Originally completed July 12.)
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Good morning, it is time to sin. This is the story I’m most confident in posting first (I say, as I post vore of an unfinished mod). Neo is by far my favorite mod, I wrote this to celebrate its release since July was supposed to be the completion date at the time I started writing this. Obviously things didn’t go to plan, but hey, I’m still proud of this regardless. This was finished prior to the second release trailer, which is why Pico and Captain are enemies here, assuming that regular Week 7 also happened in this universe. It’s a bit confusing if you look into it too much, but it doesn’t ruin the story or anything.
Anyway, enjoy the Tankman Torture. May post the sorta, very vaguely sequel on Neo’s actual release day. Also this is available on AO3 but its profile locked to spare guests on the FNF tag from seeing me ruin a mod lol.
Something different was in the air. Steve could sense it the instant his eyes fluttered open and were greeted with silvery moonlight.
He wasn’t sure why his (honestly, ever-present) desire to see Corporal John had outweighed the more important duty of cleaning the tank. Cleanliness was something the man obsessed over, after all. Under normal circumstances, Steve would’ve made sure it looked spotless before daring to approach his fickle leader. Today, though, was different. An overwhelming urge to go see Captain right now ran through his mind.
Steve wasn’t a superstitious man, but when a premonition buried itself into his head, he knew better than to disregard it. After drinking his nighttime / morning coffee, he went over to the area that his leader usually stuck around during this time of day. Once he got there, the tankman was startled by the sight of a familiar ebony-haired, uzi wielding male conversing with Captain. Upon closer inspection, that mysterious girl and her boyfriend were also present, watching over their (former?) enemy like a pair of hawks.
When he began to take in the sight more clearly, Steve was glad he’d come. That was an odd feeling - despite all of the events tearing the two apart, Captain and Pico were still friends, or at least borderline friends. Shooting your friend’s battalion is probably a friendship killer for anyone normal. Regardless of whether the two were cooperating or squabbling, inquiring to get more details felt like a good idea. An aura of uneasiness seemed to surround him...nonetheless, he persisted and walked closer to the scene.
He couldn’t quite hear what the trio was saying, but his leader’s voice rang out loud and clear. “Let’s go somewhere private so that we can catch up, yeah? I hope you know I'm still pissed at your ass regardless of whatever excuse you have.”
“What’s going on here?”
The three outsiders turned around, visibly startled to see someone else in this seemingly private area. Captain followed the trio’s gaze, seeming to perk up as his eyes landed on his dear friend. He walked over to greet Steve properly, while Pico simply acknowledged him with a polite nod. The two lovebirds didn’t address him at all beyond raising their eyebrows.
“Hey, Steve. We're just discussing the apology that I'm owed for last week."
Though Captain didn't notice it since he wasn't facing him, the man wearing headphones rolled his eyes. Steve, however, did pick up on it, and his worry began to grow. He didn’t know what specifically these trespassers wanted to discuss with Corporal John, but his inner voice implored him to not let him follow them blindly. This could be some sort of ruse to get reprisal for last week’s events. Nearly shooting their heads off was not going to be water under the bridge so easily.
“Oh, I see. I overheard you guys wanting to go somewhere private. Can I come too? Just to make sure these two aren’t causing any trouble...no offense.”
“None taken. I wouldn’t trust me either,” the solo female responded, a smirk weaving onto her face. Pico shot her a side-eye.
“Sorry Steve, but this is a private discussion. I’m not looking for unwanted attention. Can’t I talk to your fearless leader once in a blue moon?”
Already, the insufferable little quips had started. While the black-haired man did have a genuine desire to avoid conflict when possible, his underlying hostility caused that to be something of a facade. Not many people could sense it, but when you have someone like Captain John as your best friend, Steve picked up on it immediately. Sometimes, he swore that Pico was playing a perennial game of chess with everyone else in the world, and he always remained two steps ahead.
The tankman opened his mouth to protest, only to have his thought process disrupted by a hand resting on his shoulder. “Quit being such a baby, Steve. Pico here isn’t gonna pull any bullshit. I’ll be fine.”
Defying his leader’s orders for once was tempting, extraordinarily so. Steve wanted to protest more - that mental voice was back with a vengeance. Unfortunately, his overwhelming desire for obeying Captain was stronger than whatever paranoia he was experiencing. Even if something was truly amiss here, his leader was strong and resolute. He sighed, nodding and drooping his head down as a sign of conceding defeat.
“Okay...hope you have fun…”
Captain smiled, turning around to locate a private area. While he walked away, the black-haired man (with a green stripe in his hair) and his girlfriend trailed behind him. Something in the way they walked seemed deliberate, like they had already planned this. Steve sighed again, finding himself wondering if he should come up with an excuse to call his leader back. Alas, a good one was eluding his mind at the moment, so he watched the tankman begin to gradually slip out of his vision.
Pico seemed to notice his discomfort and walked over to pat him on the shoulder. “Relax, Steve. I’ve had plenty of chances to maim Cap and I haven’t taken them once, have I? This is just a friendly discussion. Nothing more, nothing less...”
As Pico ran off to join the other three, Steve swore that he heard a rumbling sound, most likely one of an empty stomach. He had no reason to care for it, and thus brushed it aside. Almost immediately after Captain was out of sight, his own gut felt like it was sinking. And it wasn’t out of hunger.
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“We’re here.”
The quartet was well out of sight from the military zone when Captain came to a stop. Keith and Cherry followed suit, each staying on either side of Pico in what was probably a gesture to protect him in case something went wrong. Most people would interpret it as wholesome; per contra, however, the army leader just found it very moronic. Considering the events of last week, their friend was protecting them by staying in the middle, not the other way around.
An awkward silence filled the air, until Captain finally broke it. “Well? I’m waiting. I don’t have all day.”
All three of the raven-haired outsiders looked at each other, then back at their (rather impolite) enemy - almost like what he said didn’t make any degree of sense. Captain opened his mouth, assuredly to say something snarky. The world would never know what specifically he wanted to say, as whatever words he was planning to speak never came out verbally. He was too perplexed by the abrupt sounds of giggling coming from Cherry and Keith. Pico wasn’t having a seemingly odd snickering fit like them, instead just twisting his neutral look into an evil grin.
“Did you really think I was going to apologize for defending my friends? Come on, Cap. You’re smarter than this.”
Even in the warzone’s sweltering heat, Captain felt a bolt of ice race down his spine. Pico only used that type of tone when he had someone cornered (figuratively and literally). If he was using it here, then him and the other two morons he called friends were definitely not in the mood for apologizing. With a mountain of evidence now shoved into his face, the military leader quickly realized that he’d been tricked.
“Why, you snide rat! I swear, you treat everything as a fucking game! What was even the point of dragging me here?!”
In his rambling, the tankman didn’t notice Pico snap his fingers, prompting his accomplices to finally make a move. Before Captain could react, a pair of arms from his left and right restrained him, catching him completely off guard. For a few moments, he just stood there dumbly; once he registered what was going on, he yelled in a mix of shock and slight anxiety. To his surprise, the demon girl and her boyfriend’s grips were both like iron (well, it was more remarkable for the latter), holding him in place without showing any signs of stress.
“Hey! The fuck- get your fucking hands off-!”
“Hnmph. Too caught up in fighting and spewing out profanity to use your brain,” Pico jeered, walking over to trail his finger down the man’s helmet. “I’d tell you to save the resistance, but honestly I don’t really care. I suppose it’s better if you waste it here…”
Not at all liking the words, Captain’s eyes locked onto the charcoal-haired man suspiciously, watching as he pulled out a glass from his pocket that contained some sort of rainbow-colored liquid. Corporal John could only gaze in confusion when Pico uncorked the bottle and began to chug down the multicolored fluid. The former wasn’t sure if it was intentional that every gulping noise was audible to him, but he definitely wasn’t going to ask. So he didn’t, instead just cautiously watching.
Once the entire bottle’s contents were completely gone, Pico unlatched from it. A feeling of unknown dread coursed itself through Captain’s veins at the very much excessive smirk and lip lick that he received as his former companion leaned down to look him in the eyes (or rather, visor). If the “almighty” Tankmen leader didn’t have any degree of self-control, he would’ve pissed himself when he felt his headgear’s buckles being unfastened. Many boundaries had been crossed for Corporal John (including several ones he didn’t even know he had), but his helmet being taken off had to be the worst.
“What the fuck are you doing?!” Captain demanded for an answer, attempting to fight back harder against his captors’ grasp. Their hold remained firm nonetheless, though Keith did stumble a bit before Cherry assisted him with her magic. “Don’t you dare-”
The sentence remained unfinished. Pico hooked his fingers under the protesting squadron general’s helmet, carefully pulling it off to assure he wouldn’t harm him. Whether this was an impulsive act or a subtle gesture to show his frenemy he didn’t have malicious intent wasn’t fully clear. Whatever the case may be, he made sure to not leave a single mark on Captain or his headgear. Although the gesture didn’t go unnoticed by the tankman, it was falsely misinterpreted as a mocking one. Were he in any position to do so, he would’ve made a snarky comment about it, and almost opened his mouth to point it out.
Almost. Captain’s words only came out as a stunned gasp when a cerulean aura of energy surrounded him, attributing it to Cherry’s doing from the gleaming blue glow he could see in the corner of his eyes. Despite the magical hold being powerful enough without being overbearingly awkward (How very generous of her, he thought), the military commander still noted that Keith’s grip remained strong. Both demon and human worked in sync to shift their captive’s position, pinning him against a nearby ruined building.
To Captain, two people (one of whom was a demon) holding him down was uncomfortable, regardless of the surprising gentleness. Touchiness was definitely not something he liked, only tolerating it with Steve. A magical hold didn’t really qualify as physical physical contact, but it semi-counted in his mind. Nonetheless, the meaning of “personal space” didn’t seem to apply here. That theory was further supported when Pico smiled down at him, walking closer (moments like this made the corporal hate their height difference) to give his hair a little ruffle.
“You said this area was private, yeah? For your sake, I hope that wasn’t a lie. Wouldn’t want your men to see their dauntless leader in this type of position, hm~?”
With those words said, he opened his mouth wide. Wider than any human should’ve logically been able to. Logic wasn’t a thing in this world, but it didn’t make the sight any less unnerving. Some part of Captain wondered how the fuck Pico was able to stretch his jaw so wide without showing any signs of discomfort. The Tankmen commander quickly learned that anatomy concerns were the absolute least of his worries when the warzone’s dusty landscape was replaced by the dark red abyss of his adversary’s gaping maw. Cherry’s magical hold and Keith’s strong yet gentle grip over him persisted, completely restricting his movements.
For the first time in his life, Corporal John could not form words, or do anything at all. He was paralyzed in puzzlement and, more importantly, a newfound sense of panic. His previous nervousness had now descended into fear, not unlike how his head was slowly descending towards Pico’s throat. Absolutely every bit of Captain’s common sense (yes, he did have it, albeit very little) told him to trigger the fight response and start doing something, anything. But his body was refusing to cooperate with his brain.
As his frenemy (well, more like prey) sunk into a shocked state, Pico moaned at the mouthwatering, delicious taste of the Tankmen leader. The flavor couldn’t be pinpointed on anything specific, but the closest he could compare it to would be an Oreo cookie - sweet chocolate with sugary, fluffy vanilla added in. A hint of tanginess was really just icing on the already flawless cake. All of the flavors combined into a sensational swirl of tastiness, causing the usually composed man to salivate and unintentionally cascade more drool down Captain’s body.
Meanwhile, the disoriented army executive could still feel everything that was currently happening. His head was continuously slathered over by Pico’s tongue, the man wanting to leave no area not thoroughly savored if the groans of delight and slobbery drooling were any indication. To Captain’s dismay, not even his (self-proclaimed) fabulous black hair was safe from getting disgusting drool all over it. A thick layer of viscous saliva had already coated the entirety of his head before he could finally comprehend the no doubt awkward position he’d found himself in.
This isn’t happening, the military commander thought to himself. He’s just...playing a prank. He won’t actually swallow me. That’s ridiculous! It’s just him having a fucked up sense of humor...
There was a slight pause, like Pico was thinking about something. At first, Captain foolishly believed that his frenemy would realize he’d gone too far with being playful. He felt a slight shifting, followed by the magical hold pushing him forwards, closer to the weird looking tube.
Okay, that’s fine. That doesn’t mean he can-
Glurk~
What the hell...oh, fuck. This is happening. He’s not playing. He can and will swallow me! Whole!
The first swallow shook Corporal John to his core. Captain’s entire body was shot with a rush of adrenaline once he understood that this wasn’t a game. Even if he wanted to envelop himself in a veil of denial, the facts were practically being crammed down his throat at this point. Pico’s satisfied groaning reverberating around him didn’t help the tankman’s mental state either. Knowing that his predator was enjoying this wasn’t soothing information to know. Only now did he attempt to put up something vaguely resembling a struggle.
Alas, the point for resistance had long since passed. There sure as hell wasn’t escaping for him beforehand, but now marked the clear-cut point of no return. Captain found it incredibly difficult to do anything more with his body than wiggle and squirm weakly, no doubt an effect of the magic aura reducing his struggling in general. At least Keith had released his hold, probably taking the indirect hint that his girlfriend didn’t need any assistance. Still, one bit of good luck was very microscopic compared to the infinite amount of misfortune that the tankman was currently suffering through.
Captain’s plight was made worse by the fact that he could see the inner workings of his predator’s throat thanks to the magical energy nudging him deeper into the man’s gullet. Azure light illuminated his pulsating surroundings, a few cringes coming from the military commander at how gross this looked. He instinctively closed his eyes to evade watching, only to have them stung from the slobber that dripped down his visor. Thankfully, a small period of grace was given as Pico once again stopped his licks, taking a moment to breathe.
Maybe he’s realizing that this is all ridiculous, the army leader thought, still trying to desperately convince himself that this was a prank gone five steps too far at the minimum. He’ll spit me out soon. He has to! It’ll happen right now. ...Three...two...one-
Gulmph~
The theory was swiftly shattered when an obnoxiously loud swallow tugged Captain further down his sealed confines. He squawked in an extreme sense of apprehension, now fully understanding the reality of his predicament. In hindsight, he was incredibly naive to believe that this situation was escapable. Things could never just be “ordinary” when dealing with Pico. This world didn’t have anything logical about it, but swallowing him like some sort of meal was where the tankman found that the line of “what the fuck” had now been sufficiently crossed.
“Hey, you fucking degenerate! Spit me out right now! I’ll pump you so full of lead that you’ll be using your dick for a pencil!”
Captain’s enraged words were meant to sound imposing, however instead they just reeked of whiny saltiness. Pico couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the overly vulgar threat that came from his frenemy - ridiculously excessive and needlessly violent, as per usual. The plea (more like demand, really) fell on deaf ears as he never once halted enjoying his prey’s luscious taste for a second. Excess drool gushed over Captain’s chest, a few drops managing to dribble all the way down towards his boots. Once a major amount of his chest was completely covered in dripping saliva, the army commander felt himself being nudged deeper into the compact tunnel.
Guulk~
Upon realizing that words weren’t going to get out of this, Captain’s body kicked into high gear, his trepidation overriding any subconscious desire to not harm his “friend.” Unfortunately, his body was fatigued and half of it was washed over with sticky fluids. Pico never once acknowledged the struggles, further adding to the hopelessness of the situation. Putting up a good defiance would’ve been immensely difficult for anyone, even Corporal John. That wasn’t even mentioning Cherry’s magical hold constraining his movements, slowly pushing him into the crimson darkness.
While he was doing just fine in his current position, Pico knew that changing it would make this easier in the long run. He eased Captain upwards, then turned around to stand against the wall, tilting his head up as he did so. The black-haired man wrapped an arm around his stomach, panting so heavily that his frenemy was concerned about him breathing too hard. Corporal John still showed some care toward his “friend,” though a much larger reason why he didn’t want him to pass out was due to the no doubt awkward situation that would arise from trying to pull himself out of Pico’s throat.
An abrupt pressure against him, however, made Captain want to do that regardless. He didn’t know what the hell Pico was doing out there, but what mattered was how...oddly pleasant it felt. What he’d place it on specifically wasn’t clear to the the tankman - the closest thing he could compare it to was a bizarre add-on to the weird slimy massage. When he instinctively jerked at the press, his “frenemy” paused whatever the hell he was doing, and Corporal John was ashamed to mentally admit that he had to hold back a disappointed whimper.
For once in his life, he decided to do something he never did - ask a question. “Hey! What are you-”
Gullp~
“...doing.”
....Well, tried to, at least. Once again, Captain received no verbal response. In his predator’s defense, speaking with half of a person in your throat would be challenging for any non-demon. Pico briefly stopped as he felt something pressing at some sort of blockage deep in his chest. Then, the barrier was gone, and the feeling of pleasant fullness washed over his empty belly. Concurrently, a wet sucking sound resonated through Corporal John’s ears, prompting him to open his eyes. He was greeted with the familiar pulsating surroundings, along with a prismatic light. It was rather ironic - the multicolored lights from the potion’s liquids were radiant and pretty, a complete contrast to the fleshy red walls and “ceiling.”
Knowing full well that he couldn’t fight this anymore, Corporal John decided to take in his situation more. His (ex) friend was swallowing him down with the help of a demon girl. Even by this world’s standards, that was a ridiculous notion. Yet...being eaten wasn’t bothering him as much as it reasonably should. The iridescent gleam was pleasant to look at, and it wasn’t enough to hurt his eyes or shoved in his face to the point of making him cringe. Plus, the muscles that surrounded and squeezed him almost felt like a warm hug.
(Sure, hugs were often not meant to be wet...but when he did get hugs from Steve once in a blue moon, they were sweaty from the heat. So, it still counted!)
Grrk~
Captain was pulled out of his thoughts by another strong swallow. He had obviously never been prey before, but could tell that this was the home stretch. That gentle rubbing feeling was back now, prompting his shivers to make a return. Additionally, he felt the rest of his legs and feet being softly pushed down by Pico. The blue magic holding the tankman down abruptly faded, graciously letting him move again. Without the rainbow light, he would’ve been left in pitch-black darkness, since there would otherwise be nothing to light up his surroundings.
Both predator and prey took deep breaths as they attempted to compose themselves in preparation for the inevitable final swallow. The former needed it more, considering that he was the one swallowing a whole ass man like a demon would. That wasn’t to say Captain also didn’t need one last break, however. He began to slow down his breathing, shifting against the soft rubs from outside. When those caresses came to a halt, the army commander knew that he was about to be completely swallowed up. The only thing he could do was brace himself as he felt Pico tilting his head back.
Ulp~
With that one, last swallow, Corporal John felt the throat’s muscles pull him down vigorously towards his destination. After what felt like an eternity, he was ungracefully squished into what was obviously Pico’s belly. All sorts of liquids surrounded him, the most recognizable being the varicolored fluid that shined in his eyes. The fluids had a refreshing coolness to them, almost making him feel calm despite the very embarrassing circumstances.
Sighing to himself, Captain shuffled around, trying to find a corner that wasn’t liquid filled. Truthfully, it shouldn’t have bothered him, given how his entire body was already glazed with gooey saliva. Nonetheless, he didn’t need any more slimy fluids oozing down his sopping wet body. When he began to wriggle himself around, he could hear Pico’s fatigued breaths and huffs speed up for just a moment. Corporal John would’ve loved to press on it, but the tankman simply did not have it in him to care...
...That is, until he felt someone pressing on his body. Initially, it was just small presses, then firmer pushes...and then consistent, smooth rubbing. Combined with the gentle squeezes of the surrounding stomach muscles, Captain felt like he was being enveloped in a wet, warm embrace. He shifted and squirmed as the soft rubs squished him against the velvety walls. Pico’s pleasured groans echoed throughout the tankman’s surroundings, flushing his face with a bright vermillion. It made Corporal John wonder...
What is happening out there?
—————
“Does this spot make your tummy feel good~? Shall we keep going?”
“Cherry, listen to him! He sounds so happy…”
“You’re d-doing- AH~! A-amazing...keep going- hoooly shit-”
Pico was in heaven. His entire body felt electric, overloaded with pleasure and satisfaction. Cherry and Keith both kneaded and squeezed his swollen belly, drawing faint movements from the man currently filling it up. Ever since he first discovered the enigmatic Heart’s Desire potion, something inside Pico had changed. Whether he always had an inner predator to him or if it was a new development remained unknown. But the prospect of getting to feel what demons felt had definitely flipped some kind switch.
“O-oh shit, Keith, your h-hand is- Mmghh..too low…”
“Oops. Sorry.”
“Sorry, m-my- AAAHH! Ohhhh my god, Cherry...w-warn me…mm...next time…”
Convincing the two to go along with his plan wasn’t even that hard, honestly. Cherry wouldn’t pass up on an opportunity to absolutely embarrass Captain, much less when it was helping her friend get a delicious squirmy meal. She was automatically down from moment one. Keith, on the other hand...he was a bit harder to convince. It took some smooth-talking (mostly from his demon girlfriend) to get him on-board, but once he was persuaded, he gradually warmed up to the idea.
“Heh, I’ve never really gotten to see this from the outside.” Keith whispered in Pico’s ear, making him shudder. “I guess revenge did taste sweet after all~”
Pico tensed up as he suddenly remembered just who was filling his belly. A tidal wave of guilt crashed into him in an instant, completely shattering the glass pane of sheer pleasure. His more cynical side spoke to him, saying that Captain didn’t matter at this time. On the other hand, his typically masked softer side was concerned about how his “frenemy” was handling this. The inky-haired man groaned; not in pleasure, but at the conflicting feelings of selfishness and altruism, trying his best to make the decision that he perceived as “correct.”
Apparently, Cherry noticed his inner turmoil, as she looked at him with concern. “Is something wrong, Pico?” the demon asked, giving his tummy a gentle press. Her worried tone made him melt like ice cream.
“Naaah, I’m f-fine. Just need to c-calm down this asshole…” Pico momentarily paused his statement to poke at the human-sized bulge in his stomach. He laid his finger there, smirking as Captain pushed back. “...Privately, i-if you don’t mind. I’ve got some...personal things to discuss with him…”
Cherry and Keith looked at each other with visible chagrin, but halted their rubbing nonetheless. “Oh, okay. I understand,” the former replied with sadness, nodding to her boyfriend. The obvious disappointment pained Pico’s heart, making him scramble for another, more positive thing to add on.
“But...I will make sure you and Keith get rewarded for today~”
The smug grin plastered on Pico’s face grew wider as Cherry’s face began to match her name. “I’ll look forward to it~” she replied, in a tone of voice that made it perfectly clear she was more than happy with teasing. Keith nodded in response to his girlfriend’s words, standing up to adjust his headphones.“Yeah. I will too, ahaha!”
Giving one last gentle pat to Pico’s belly, the lovebirds stood up, wiping off the dust and sand from their clothes. Cherry hopped back up into her boyfriend’s arms, giving him a quick smooch. Keith returned the passionate kiss before turning back to his friend. He smiled softly, waving with his free hand as his demon girlfriend did the same.
“Bye, Pico!” “Have fun with Cap!”
And with a lazuline flash, the couple was gone. Admittedly, Pico did instantaneously feel lonely without his dear friends to keep him company and rub his belly. He promptly got over it a second or two later, smirking to himself in sudden realization. In normal conditions, being left alone with Captain wasn’t his idea of fun, especially not after the man pissed him off enough to put their formerly strong friendship on an infinite hiatus. But when Corporal John was his meal, Pico’s regular dread at being “near” the tankman didn’t apply.
Surprisingly, Captain was being rather relaxed already - sure, there were some minor wriggles and movements here and there, but he wasn’t screaming and fighting like someone of his character would. Perhaps he had worn out his energy on the way down, or found out remarkably fast that getting out of this situation was impossible - Pico didn’t know, nor did he care. Either way, the normally prissy military leader being docile was an intriguing anomaly. If he was like this before the main teasing even began, then well...
Corporal John was grade A screwed.
—————
“Hey, Cap? You doing alright~?”
The distinctive smugness of Pico’s voice filled Captain’s ears, making him grimace and sigh. Though it was convincingly veiled, Corporal John occasionally wished he were dead or simply did not exist during certain moments. Considering that he was currently trapped in a gut, now was the (possibly only) time where his “want” was more of a “need.” Additionally, he wasn’t oblivious to what happened on the outside just a few minutes prior - the conversation between the trio of weirdos was clearly audible to the tankman, making him wonder if his ego really deserved more deflating today.
“Besides the fact that you dragged me away from Steve, had the weirdo demon girl hold me down with magic, and swallowed me without my consent? Yeah, I’m alright.”
Pico rolled his eyes at the sarcastic words, smirking idiotically. There was the Corporal John he knew, always running his mouth even in situations where he possessed none of his power. Without a doubt, the military leader did have a sort of charisma to him that was downright mesmerizing. Still, hearing Captain continue to pretend like his satirical words had any effect amused the onyx-haired man. He felt over his stomach, letting one of his hands rest near the army general’s head.
“Mhm. You say the first part as if he would’ve bailed you out. Charming fellow, but not the most reliable, is he?”
“Trust me, that man is stronger than he looks.”
“Hmm.” Pico faked a thinking tone, drumming his fingers on where he could feel Captain’s head. He snickered as the tankman roughly shoved against his hand. “And tell me, how would Steve’s strength fare against an omnipotent demon?”
Captain winced, shuddering at the thought. Steve wasn’t weak, but calling him strong was also an overstatement. Not that his strength level mattered against an immortal demon with immense magical prowess, especially considering that she seemingly had no qualms about Pico slaughtering tankmen. Granted, the man had standards - he knew that splitting apart Corporal John and his fuckbuddy was quite possibly the worst mistake you could make. Still...who knew what poor, pure Steve would think if he saw his leader being eaten?
Frankly, the thought was more funny than it was awkward.
“...Yeah, got me there.”
Silence filled the air shortly after, something that Captain was very much grateful for. Pico sighed, letting him and his frenemy bask in blissful stillness. Unfortunately, the tranquility swiftly turned awkward from Corporal John’s perspective. He wasn’t used to (mostly) silence, especially not when it concerned the man who just loved to run his smug mouth on and on. Speaking up would have ruined the moment, so instead he just sat there in uneasiness.
Noticing that his “friend” was unnaturally stiff, Pico felt obligated to make him feel less tense. He trailed his finger down the bulge in his stomach, then went up to Captain’s back and started to gently rub it. A smile crept onto his face at the positive reaction he received. Corporal John groaned at the pleasant feeling, changing his position in an attempt to get more of it. The relaxing massage was sending shockwaves of...something shooting everywhere, even to the tips of his fingers.
“How’s that feel, Cap~? Feels nice, doesn’t it?”
Alas, like all good things, Pico had to ruin it by saying something in his iconic “I’m better than you” tone. Captain was significantly surprised that his head didn’t explode from how much heat rushed to his face. Never before had he felt such a torrent of warmth swarm him from simple words.
“N-no it doesn’t! When the fuck d-did I say anything like t-that?!”
“You’re not slick, Cap. One, body language. Two, you’re literally inside of me, I could hear your noises just fine. Three, we’re literally talking casually as if one of us isn’t serving as the other’s dinner.”
Pico wasn’t incorrect. In the end, that was the greatest insult to this situation from Captain’s perspective. Being figuratively cornered, powerless, and humiliated were never feelings he was used to, much less ones to ever be prepared for. He couldn’t even bring himself to care that this was his “frenemy” making him feel this way. All the tankman could focus on was the blood pounding in his ears and the intense blush spreading across his cheeks.
“Well, Cap? I’m waiting.”
Silence echoed throughout the air aside from the gurgling of Pico’s stomach. Captain shuddered in nervous tension, biting his lip to keep any kind of sounds or words from escaping. Both of them knew that he was in more pleasure than he let on, yet refused to admit it. However, not only was he pinned against a wall (nearly literally), but he also couldn’t use his brain at full capacity when his current environment sloshed and shifted around him.
It took a while (or at least it did from Pico’s perspective) for Corporal John to finally respond. “...Alright, fine. You win. This time…”
“Atta way, Cap.” To give some sort of “reward,” Pico pressed a little harder near his frenemy’s back. Judging by the soft groan he could hear, he guessed that was a sufficient enough “prize.” He smiled, starting to gently rub his belly again. “I always win~.”
Captain couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the man’s smugness. The military leader teasingly shoved against Pico’s hand, snickering at the surprised noise that came from him. “You sure didn’t win vs that beep-boop bitch in a rap battle.”
“That’s because the plot obligates me to lose. There’s a difference, Cap.”
“Whatever…”
Having sorted out the previous awkwardness, the duo decided to stop talking for a short while. Both wanted to savor the moment more over quarreling with their frenemy. From Pico’s perspective, this was absolute perfection. He had his frenemy (who was more friend than enemy at this point) filling his gut, giving him a relaxing internal massage. The feeling was so very warm and nice, spreading an increasing fuzziness throughout his body that made him shudder.
Similarly, Captain felt the fuzzy feeling beginning to shroud him in a cloud of blissful calmness. His snuggly surroundings gently squeezed him every minute, further adding to the comforting warmth. The experience was cozy, comfortable, and warmed him to the core. He let his body melt, lazily rubbing the closest plush wall with a hand. A dumb smile unconsciously found itself creeping up on his face as his friend groaned softly, lightly pushing back.
“So, you’re not gonna kill me once I let you out, right Johnny~?” Pico asked in a playful tone. Even without seeing him, Captain could hear the smile in his voice.
“I might.”
“If you kill me, then we can’t talk about Newgrounds anymore!”
“Fair point.”
Pico sighed happily, closing his eyes with a rare soft smile. A loving (platonic) warmth wrapped around him, heightening his pleasant feeling. To be honest, he never really associated Captain with anything remotely positive, especially considering the rather unpleasant way they split. The black-haired man could admit he did go a bit too far by ripping off part of the military leader’s visor, but...still. Pondering on who was to blame didn’t matter right now. He just wanted to focus on the pure perfection of this blissful experience.
With a soft sigh, Pico gave his belly the best hug he could manage, smiling wider at the soft groans and squirms from Captain. “Mmmm...hey, Cap? I missed you…”
Captain sucked in a breath at the words and soft embrace from the outside, trembling slightly. Intense emotions were never his strong suit, considering his superpower of making everything (more) awkward. Surges of nervousness streamed across his body, contemplating the proper words to say without being embarrassing. He could be an ass and blow off Pico’s rare kindness, or reciprocate it. The former would typically be his normal choice, but...given how much of a dick he was the last two times they ran into each other, some sort of positive feelings were long overdue.
Besides, it’s about time he stopped looking to the past and started focusing on the future.
So in response, he smiled and embraced the closest wall near him. “Yeah. I did, too.”
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munnadreamball · 3 years
Text
Since other people are doing it might as well
WARNING: THIS CONTAINS A FUCK TON OF PERSONAL STUFF FROM MY PERSONAL AU, ‘GREATER NEWGROUNDS’. IT MIGHT BE CONFUSING AS HELL.
🥽Hank 🥽Go whiteboy go 🥽Muscular as hell, short blonde hair, empty blue eyes, freckles 🥽Used to be an amateur chicken farmer and tankman and was dating Captain before the Improbability Drive was activated 🥽Was shot several times in the head during a raid on the AAHW cult’s compound, giving him severe brain damage and driving him insane. After that he defected from the Tankmen Corps and became a solo fighter 🥽Barely remembers his old life, if he even remembers at all
🕶Sanford 🕶Native American 🕶Allergic to pollen 🕶Muscular, long black hair in a single braid, black eyes 🕶So much trauma holy shit, drinks to cope 🕶His tattoo was forcefully given to him when he was held captive by the cult🕶Now he goes shirtless to intimidate his former tormentors 🕶Was a security guard at the Old Nevada Mall before the Improbability Drive was activated 🕶Dating Deimos
👓Deimos 👓The youngest of the three but not by a lot 👓Sri Lankan 👓Vegetarian 👓Was an indie game developer before the Improbability Drive was activated. He had almost been finished with the beta build of a rather bloody third person shooter game *winkwink* when it happened 👓Loves crunchy foods. Give him a bag of pretzels and he will love you until the day he dies 👓Has severe chronic pain after being dragged out of hell, Sanford tries his best to console him when he can’t take it anymore
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danzsoldier · 3 years
Note
share the tankman lore at once
OH!! Okay!!!!! so like! Its based off of Tankmen 0 (aka a prequel to Tankmen that Jeff never made) it’s got some of my own headcanons in it as well! So to everyone reading this please remember this lore isn’t canon and is just what I think happened
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Captain and Commander are scientists who originally worked at two different companies (is that the right word? Idk) but one day they met and eventually later on they fell in love with each other and got married and had a few kids as well (Captain and Commander being exes is a headcanon that I got from a server of mine and me and a few other people like the idea)
When they got married they decided to combine their companies to make one company!! And they all worked on projects together
Steve, Ted, Tankgirl, Scared Sniper, and some of the other Tankmen worked at Captain’s company and Tim worked at Commander’s company so some of them got to work together on stuff and befriended each other. Bill and Skittles didn’t work with them becuz Bill had a different job and never met Captain, Steve, etc and Skittles wasn’t old enough to work at a company that deals with dangerous chemicals at the time (I feel like Skittles was around 14, 15 or 16 when all of that stuff happened)
One day they make the laser (mentioned above) and eventually they realized that it’s WAY too dangerous and could hurt a fuck ton of people so they decide to try and destroy it but they couldn’t find it (aka they lost a fucking weapon)
And it turns out it was outside in the middle of the city and Commander wouldn’t let them get to it because he wanted to keep it because its something he worked really hard on and Captain, trying to be a reasonable husband, tried to explain to him that keeping it is a bad idea because how dangerous it is but Commander refused to listen
They begin arguing back and fourth and they don’t even realize that the laser is already activated so as Captain was trying to run outside to go get it while Commander held him back while struggling the laser explodes and causes a FUCK ton of deaths, lots of buildings, cars, stores, etc to get destroyed and the colors of the world to be inverted
This causes more arguing to begin and Steve holds Captain back while Tim holds Commander back and eventually they get divorced and the war starts (their kids are okay btw but uhhh Commander took them and Captain refuses to pay the child support and yes that’s a famous joke that me and some of my friends have it’s so funny)
So yeah! That’s my lore idea!!
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sn1p1ng888 · 9 months
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THE TIMING IS INCONSISTENT BUT THE TANK IS REAL
ANOTHER DAY ANOTHER TANK MANK YIPPEEEE
Meet BUCK
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This is buck. Buck the fuck. Buck was raised on a diet of purely human flesh, and he wasn’t even aware of other foods prior to the army. After escaping his cult-like home at age 18, he roamed the wasteland, consuming all the people he could find.
Unfortunately the majority of these people were tankmen soldiers.
A group of scouts were set out on a mission to capture the roaming cannibal, succeeding in doing so. Buck was taken back to the base and offered a contract; he could work for them, and get to eat all the enemy soldiers he wanted. Thinking this would be an adequate food source, Buck signed the contract, only to have an uncomfortable metal mask forced onto him, and to be told that if he ate another person again, he would be killed.
Buck still has a thirst for human flesh, but it’s kept under control thanks to the mask. He absolutely hates his life, being excluded from the other soldiers, made to eat his meals and sleep alone under heavy supervision. Despite this, he’s very friendly towards other soldiers, seemingly just wanting to make friends. He is a part of ‘the alligator squad’, and isn’t too awful on the battlefield. Gator teases him a lot, but buck doesn’t mind too much. He is good friends with mantis!
His art fight:
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fagwembley · 3 years
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Tossing one more thing in too before i sleep but just like. The prospect of them all being able to relax again and having like.. luxurious like, conditioner and ect.. imagine. The ordeal of getting new comfortable clothes after properly reuniting with family who escaped and they also bring you, like, food they cooked themselves and idk fucking uh lotion and so on.
- 🐾
a majority of the tankmen have no idea what this shit is, only a VERY select few who were thrown into pennsylvania bc they committed a crime (for example: ted), OR ones that were born before 1965 (people dont tend to live this long, so the number is even fewer). for the most part its just teenagers in awe over what captain and steve bring them. they sit in front of the air conditioner for hours just. in absolute shock. cold air coming from Box.... wtf
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*grabby handz* the sam lore. give.
ALL OF IT???
he has so much fucking lore but ill give some.. fun facts(?) and chunks of lore instead of writing a fucking novel of his inconsistent timeline
-sam goes by he/they
-his last name is craven
-he learned n held onto some medical abilities taught by his mother
-sam has face blindness. when he met aether he couldnt tell the difference between steve and aether (since they both have round goggles) until aether started wearing the bandana they have now
-his parents died when he was a kid, and he ran away from his siblings shortly after, since they didnt exactly get along, they never had
-after running away from their siblings, he was p much dying wandering around (considering he was like 12 he didnt prepare that well ig). before being found by cap n steve! (yay cooper is obsessed w tankdad)
-sam repressed all memories of his family, and remembers nothing about them. they even meet his sister at one point and doesnt remember who she is, shes kinda an asshole to him.
-they met aether (his best friend) when he was 17 (aether is a few years older than him)
-sam was very undereducated on lgbt identities,, he didnt know what nonbinary was when aether came out to him. but now they know and can and will kill transphobes and homophobes! :]
-sams hair was p long until he cut it himself at like 19 because he got sick of trying to deal w it (its v fluffy/curly and hard to manage) but sometimes they let it get longer again
-sam is friends with someone in the family that supplies weapons n shit named celeste, who has a bf on the other side named callam, who sam shot and killed without knowing that callam meant no harm. callam ends up haunting sam as a ghost for a while, causing sam to sleep even less, be a lot more bitter n paranoid, start drinking more, and a lot of other things. callam p much made him plummet mentally until sam snapped at him and callam realized what he was doing.
-callam is sams cousin, but they dont find out about that until after theyre both dead
-sam met skittles before skittles was recruited, and even after he was they kept hanging out to smoke together. (he caused sam to have a fucking identity crisis over his sexuality /hj but sam found out they are bi!) n they ended up being in a romantic relationship :]
-sam had some medical skill as i mentioned, but another medic (an oc im working on rn) trained him more to become a medic for the tankmen. not really a role he fits considering how angry/violent he is, but theyre good at it.
thats all ill give for now but anyone can keep asking if you want! im happy to talk ab my ocs :]
(aether belongs to @t9byhaww and celeste and callam belong to @alpha-lyrae )
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