#Fuck off sad boi hours it's time to make shitposts!

[sapphire-weapon]

Which topic amuses you the most? (I don't know if amusement is the right word just pick)

-Jill Sandwich

-Leon can't drive

-Leon's parents were affiliated with the Italian mafia

-OG Ashley and Mia Winters hate

-Ship wars

-Wesker being a fucking whore

-Alcina Dimitrescu strangling the internet

-Leon killing Ben Bertolucci with nothing but his goody-two-shoes "erm actually I need to speak to chief irons-"

-Krauser and Wesker both keeping a pic of their young coworkers

-Ada, her "love triangle" consisting of Simmons and Leon, and her playing Perfect Blue with Carla

-Chris and Wesker's bromance

-"NOO AHSLEYS A KID" "NOOO THEYRE SIBLIMGS" (like dude come on she's 20-)

-The "Are you staying to back me up?" (Why does that scene feel so fuzzy to me? Like I can't explain the emotion idk Adas just cute in that scene)

-Chris, Leon and "PLS MARRY MY SISTER-"

-Excella being the biggest Wesker simp

-"Seems like this isn't your first time running from creeps" (Six years of torture caused this man's rizz to drop like holy shit-)

-some aeon shippers being annoying

-getting mass amounts of hate for having an opinion (when you talked about "leshley" in your own blog)

-"Omg Ada and Leon kissed in re2" "omg they fuck in damnation" "omg they 'fight' in re4" "omg he saves her in re6"-

-Deborah Harper....(what even happened with her?)

-Simmons simping for Ada so much he makes a clone of her

-Leon asking Hunnigan out for a date

-That one Leon x merchant vid (If you don't know then I'll try and show you uh)

-Picking fights with a bioweapon baby (Eveline)

-Og Leon being a whore

SOME OF THESE ARE REALLY STRONG

-Wesker being a fucking whore -Krauser and Wesker both keeping a pic of their young coworkers -"Seems like this isn't your first time running from creeps" (Six years of torture caused this man's rizz to drop like holy shit-) -getting mass amounts of hate for having an opinion (when you talked about "leshley" in your own blog) -Leon asking Hunnigan out for a date -Og Leon being a whore

all of these ^^^^ are very strong

like

wesker being a whore is funny because it grosses so many people out, and also he's the most hilariously evil man on the planet, so the thought of him just dragging his dick around is funny.

krauser and wesker keeping a pic of their young subordinates is funny because it is so. goddamn. pathetic. like with wesker it's funny because it's just more evidence of him being a sex fiend, which, like. see above. and with krauser it's funny because he's this huge, imposing, terrifying man, but with the photo it's like "u gonna cry? baby gonna cry? maybe just ask him out already you fucking sad sack of shit."

leon having no rizz is funny because so many fans want to fuck him, so the fact that he can't actually pull off being charming in-universe is just. delicious irony.

the mass amount of hate is funny because... a long story, but like the tl;dr is that there's nothing that anyone in this fandom can do to me that will be worse than that stalker i had who was jealous and butthurt that i was rping leon for a friend's ada, and they carried that hateboner around and harassed me for ten fucking years, so like. if that didn't run me out of the fandom, nothing will.

and leon asking out hunnigan + og leon being a whore is funny for the same reason why it's funny that he has no rizz. i love watching that boy strike out. it brings me an immense amount of joy.

if i had to pick just one, though? probably the photos. i could shitpost about that for hours.

leon being a scrub is a close second, though.

[sysig]

You thought I had stopped working on the vine compilation?

Fool

I’m only becoming more powerful by the day!

#Fuck off sad boi hours it's time to make shitposts! #I've got shitposting music on in the bg and I've torn through some like half a dozen or so edits so far #I think I've only got one more to do and then that's the first pass done up #I'll need to QA it before anything else but after that it's only a couple more passes and I'm heckin' done #WMM has a tendency to move around my captions when adding in new media |P Luckily it's just tedious #I wanted to get it done by the end of September at latest since I'm a) tired of it just hanging around unfinished #And b) I wanna do a thing for October :3c Maybe keep an eye out in the next few days #I can't believe I've been working on this dumb shitpost since June lol I need to get it all the way out of my system #I'll be happy to have it done uwu

[dreamcatcherrs]

mcyts reaction to you flinching during an argument

TW; slight mention of abuse, angst

+ sad boi hours; open

++ for all of you angst lovers<3

song recommendation: start//end - EDEN

dream:

when he yelled something at you, wanting some sort of response from you and you didn’t give it to him, he grabbed you by your arm angrily and pulled you close to him.

you flinched away from him, turning your head away in reflex to what his next move might be.

he would immediately let go of you, taking a step back. he would just look at you, heart dropping at the fact that you thought he’d ever do something to hurt you in any way.

would feel disappointed with himself even days after the incident, and would even doubt if him being with you was a good thing at all, where you’d have to reassure him for him to eventually forget about it.

georgenotfound:

you and george were having a disagreement about something, keeping a close proximity to each other throughout the argument.

after having raised his voice, he would be lifting his hand to move hair out of his face. and that’s when you flinched, closing your eyes thightly.

george honestly wouldn’t know what to do. he’d just be standing there, stuck in place out of shock. eventually, he’d gently grab your hand, scared to touch your face in case you’d flinch again.

he’d talk to you about how he’d never hurt you, and asked if there was some deeper reason as to why you’d flinched so easily.

sapnap:

he would be so angry at himself, and would probably, before you could even stop him, storm out of the house to clear his mind and think about what he’d just done.

when he came back, he would hug you so hard, tears streaming down his face and repeating phrases like “I’m so sorry” and “I’d never hurt you”.

he’d make sure you knew just how much he loved you, and that you had no reason to ever flinch away from him again. cuddle sessions are a definite yes after an incident like this.

badboyhalo:

oh my god, when I tell you this mans’ heart would break into a million pieces-

he’d crush your body in his arms, coddling you so tightly to him whilst whispering sweet words into your ear. he would feel so crushed.

the poor guy would be crying😖

after that, he would try his best to avoid getting into arguments, or at least avoid ever raising his voice at you again.

technoblade:

would feel really hurt that you thought he’d hit you. lowkey a little disappointed about how you flinched so easily just by him raising his hand slightly, but would push the selfish thought aside and talk to you about it calmly, even though the action had really hurt him.

he wasn't a violent person, and he thought you knew that.

he doesn't want to send you down a guilt trip or anything, but he just feels so… lost? makes him doubt wether you trust him and he could think about it for literal weeks, because he’d have a hard time talking about it.

wilbur soot:

runs a hand over his face, wide eyes staring back at you in shock. it takes him a moment to realise that you had just flinched because of him. that you'd acted out in a way people who are scared do. he doesn't really know what to do at first - he doesn't want to cause more damage.

“y/n…” he trails off, lifting a hand slowly towards you, afraid that he’ll scare you away. the last thing he’d ever want is for you to be scared of him.

he cant just stand there, and he can tell that all you really need right now is some comfort, so he’ll just grab you and pull you right into his arms, apologising over and over again and assuring you that he'd never make you flinch again.

skeppy:

he would be really confused.

like, he would just be standing there with a confused expression on his face until you looked up at him again. 

“did you think I was going to hit you?”

his bottom lip would tremble, and his heart would just be pounding out of his chest.

he’d feel better once you comforted him and told him that you just flinch easily, but he would still think about it sometimes when he looked at you.

karl jacobs:

his eyes would widen, quickly trying to reach out and touch you, only realising that the reason you flinched was because you didn’t want him to touch you. because you’d felt a reason to lift your hands in front of you in defence.

instead he would clasp his hand over his mouth, feeling tears well up in his eyes. and just let out a sob.

and that’s when you quickly ran to comfort him, going down with him when he fell onto his knees.

would profusely be mumbling sorries between sobs. that moment would scar him for a long time ;-;

fundy:

would immediately take you into his arms. he pushed aside how much it hurt to know that you could ever be scared of him, because you came first.

lots of back rubbing and cheek kisses - he would be very worried that you flinched because someone had actually hit you before you eve met him or something along those lines.

would apologise for scaring you and wipe tears away from your cheeks if you were crying.

would have a long conversation with you about it afterwards.

quackity:

would back away from you.

he didn’t know what the fuck to do. if he should comfort you or back the hell away. so he chose the safest option, seeing as you had clearly shown a sign of defence.

you would kinda just look at each other for a while.

“I- did you just-” he would cut himself off trying to form the right sentence.

“baby, I wouldn't hit you. you know I wouldn't… right?”

punz:

like sapnap, he would take off, leaving you in confusion and hurt about how you had so easily reacted like that.

he wanted to be there for you, but he knew that he needed to clear his mind and think about what had just happened before he could do that. once he was outside, he would yell at the top of his lungs, letting out his pain through doing so.

when he entered again, he would start talking about how he was such a dick and should be more careful with the way he moves and that he wouldn't ever hurt you or anything like that.

would ramble on until you shut him up, assuring him that there was no reason to be angry or upset. it would definitely calm him down, but he wouldn't be able to sleep very well that night knowing that he had made you flinch so badly.

awesamdude:

sam is just very shocked. and confused… and generally feels a lot of emotions washing over him all at once. the anger was still there, but he could hold it back for a while if it meant being able to wipe that expression off your face.

with furrowed brows he gently cups your cheeks, relieved when you didn't try to pull away or anything like that. he wouldn't really talk directly about it right then, but rather comforts you. you are his number one priority right now.

“hey, hey, hey. it’s okay, I’m here.” and then just hugs you and lets you cry it out on his shoulder. will talk to you about it later and eventually resolve your previous argument. makes sure you never flinch at him again.

corpse husband:

corpse knows he can get pretty heated in arguments, but to make you flinch… he’d never seen that one coming, and honestly, it would hit him like a truck. he would stumble over is own words, hands clamming to you protectively, only to move away again as he realised the one who he had to protect you from was himself. 

would beat himself up about it a lot afterwards. like, he’d think about that look on your face and just space out, which you would notice of course cause his brows would knit together and he’d look so fucking sad. he’d just be scared to do it again.

eret:

it was the worst thing he'd ever witnessed. you can almost hear his heart crack right into two pieces. he’d just look at you with sad, bulging puppy eyes until you moved to look at him again with guilt dancing in your eyes once seeing his.

“y/n, I… I would never hit you.”

I feel like he could cry depending on how bad the argument had been, but overall he is just very very sad. wouldn't be able to hold back even if he was scared of making you flinch again, and would just hold you. until you were ready to talk about it, he’d be right there with his hands clinging onto you for dear life.

______________________________________

tag list✰

@zayenz @terribletoothbat @0t0n1n @0125cm @yukiuheh @shinee-is-5-forever @regularnoceur @b01nk-b0w@christhebish@nutritious-emo-crackkk@bookishreid@giavanna-707 @reddiesmcdonalds@cosmins@vixxzial@autumnpleaves@paradigmax@meaganjm@shiningsunrises@moralofwalls@username1212131@gxldentaestuff@innitdream @televisionpresent38 @bubblyanis@zurami @highoffhockey @popinjaytaylor@196os@livsbaby@doubts-of-gold@bunlina@retrav @mcyt-is-my-life@aleaisntcreative @my-shitpost-of-writing @my-shitpost-of-writing @clownsdrowning @pissbabywastaken@shiningsunrises @tie-dyed-dumbass @death-by-rats@simpfordraco @bippity-boppity-boopa@neongreendaydreams  @vibin-by-myself@littlepotatos0w0@christhebish @pipp-poppz@btsiguess-kpop@prettysmallfries@hiyoko-kos@kenmxskitten@fudrudy@weepingartanimespy@rhino-zucchini@goldenstarofthunderclan@melonmarz@ubeicecreamisthebest@polaroidinurroom @ady-yoo@isimpforeveryone@edenhollandd@ineedtogetoutofhere@glitter-night @hamilsandersfam@mothheart-witch @wrong-exit@trashcanfullofdork  @hellfirepheonixx @marshmallow-babe@isimpforeveryone @ky50621 @randomcloud@wormie4k@dinonuggies50  @p4rty-t4ttoos@aspenthegremlin@book-of-anarchy @jeyacore @thetattooink@gogywasfound@millavalntyne@junob1ade @ubeicecreamisthebest@karida @i-have-paws-love@drvgonraja@eatasslikegrass@creamofweep@venusomega@lunarfedora@rowe-n @wreny24 @vincent-stargogh @floatingplanets​ @vernon-dursley​ @childhoodgrunge​ @fivxss @hexagonclash​ @crazyjuls12​ @littlebabysandboxburritos @shifted-dreams@lenamarie666 @reinyrei @sozvuchiy @weaslvy-mxlfoy​ @aiofheavenandhell​ @honeyglaazed @carisle-mikealson​ @ineedtogetoutofhere​

#mcyt #mcyt x reader #mcyt x yn #mcyt fanart #mcyt angst #mcyt fluff #mcyt reaction #mcyt fanfic #mcyt headcannon #mcyt hc #mcyt imagine #mcyt scenario #mcyt drabble #dreamwastaken #georgenotfound #sapnap #badboyhalo #technoblade #wilbur soot #fundy #skeppy #karl jacobs #quackity #x reader #punz #awesamdude #eret #corpse husband #dream smp #dream smp angst

[sapphicwhxre]

nemesis

♥︎ pairing: pansy parkinson x fem!reader, past draco malfoy x reader and draco malfoy x pansy parkinson

♥︎ summary: you reconnect with the girl that draco malfoy cheated on you with at hogwarts, and realise you have more in common than you thought ─ including the belief that the other knew they were the other girl.

♥︎ warnings: past cheating, asshole draco, arguing, use of the word slut, swearing, slut shaming, bar/alcohol, enemies to lovers

♥︎ a/n: we’re acknowledging that the title isn’t nemesis it’s nemesis but how taylor swift says it in long story short 💅🏼 also just yay ‘cause idk if anyone remembers since i shitpost so often but i’ve wanted to write this forever and i finally did it!!

you have got to be fucking kidding me.

that was your first thought when you saw her.

today was horrible. troubles everywhere you went and you thought you’d be safe in your favourite coffee shop. well, you were wrong. in line, there stood pansy parkinson, the slytherin princess herself.

pretty, put together, pansy fucking parkinson. the girl your highschool love ─ or so you’d thought ─ had cheated on you with for a year. you were over draco, truly, and hoped he’d matured after the war but to see the reason for all his lies to you left a stinging, bitter taste in your mouth.

you’d finish your coffee and be on your way, simple. there was no reason to acknowledge her or remember the smug look on her face as she kissed him, on one of the many days he stood you up. why torture yourself by remembering the glint of happiness in his eyes turning into one of panic when he saw you watching? you hadn’t cried that hard in years and weren’t planning on it. not over a stupid high school nemesis, you're better than that.

downing the hot liquid as fast as you could, you gathered your things and walked straight for the exit, not daring to glance at her. almost there, just a few more steps. but of course, the universe could never let you catch a break. the ladies’ restroom door flew open only an inch away from you and you were now face to face with pansy parkinson. shit.

as if in shock or relaying every dirty memory about the other, you stood in silence for a moment. “i didn’t know you lived around here,” pansy finally broke the ice. she swallowed after unleashing her hissing tone on you, visibly thinking hard about merlin knows what. “away from it all, i mean.”

nodding, you forced out a smile, determined not to return her clear irritation at seeing you. maybe it was childish to hold onto the past. “i do,” you agreed. “i’m more surprised that hogwarts’s resident pureblood princess is living in the muggle world, especially going to places like a cheap, shitty coffee shop.” pent up venom hit the both of you and you instantly regretted what you’d said, ruining the civil demeanor you’d hoped to keep.

the pursed-lipped scowl you’d grown so used to seeing in the halls during your school years met you and pansy crossed her arms, standing up tall. “things change, l/n,” she spat, omitting any details she’d considered giving away. “what about you? you’re here too, couldn’t find another girl’s boyfriend to sleep with?”

here you were just like old times, bickering and hissing petty insults at the other. you narrowed your eyes and scoffed, “isn’t that your area of expertise, parkinson? being so pretty and perfect that you just can’t help going and wrecking a good relationship?”

pansy looked deeply unsettled and upset. she raised her voice so much that any louder and she’d be causing a scene. “what are you on about?” pansy all but yelled. “you were the side chick! draco loved me until you went and started to spread your legs for him!”

you blinked at her, processing her words. there was no way, no way that she thought you were the other girl. she was the slut that fucked everything up, not you.

then it hit you. neither of you were to blame. “fucking draco malfoy.” you sighed, de-escalating suddenly. your eyes flickered up to pansy’s apologetically. “he lied to both of us, didn’t he?”

pansy stared at you blanky before responding, much more softly than before. “you... you mean you didn’t know he was seeing me?” she asked, curiously. you shook your head no and pansy quieted for a moment. “i didn’t know about you either, l/n, honest,” pansy said.

maybe it was the tender sincerity you hadn’t known she was capable of but without knowing what came over you, you sat down at the table beside you and gestured an invitation. “do you maybe want to talk? try to put this behind us?” eyes widening, pansy didn’t answer. she did, however, take a hesitant seat across from you and gaze at you oddly.

“the things i said were awfully petty, uncivilized, and immature. i'm sorry,” you hurried out an apology and added, “today and when we were in school.” something about the situation filled you with so much. anger that you’d blamed the girl who was a victim just like you instead of the abuser. sympathy and sadness for how she was feeling since you’d spent so many nights with your face buried in your pillow and feeling the exact same thing.

pansy smiled surprisingly warmly and exhaled deeply. “i’m...” she seemed to struggle with finding the right words. “i’m sorry too. all this time, i never even stopped to consider that you were hurt too.” you felt the same way, all of the hatred you had for pansy parkinson melting away. she was just a girl who, like you, trusted the wrong boy. no one deserved to be punished for that. yet you’d inflicted your hurt on the other for years. “draco’s a fucking dick.”

slightly caught off guard by her shift in demeanor, you laughed ─ to her surprise. “yeah, draco is a fucking dick. there’s a bar just a few blocks from here, care to let me buy you a drink?” you proposed. “it’s the least i can do after thinking you were a homewrecker for the past almost decade.”

“it’s only noon,” she objected and you raised your eyebrows. pansy looked to her lap, allowing herself a laugh that sounded dangerously close to a pleased giggle. “i’d like that.” you helped her with her things and for an unapparent reason, you noticed that her nose crinkled when she laughed and couldn’t help but think she looked awfully pretty. for the first time, you noticed pansy's beauty in a kind way, not one filled with jealousy.

on the way to and eventually inside of the bar, you and pansy conversed shockingly easily. you found many things in common. you had the same favourite hobbies, made fun of the lines that draco had disgustingly used on the both of you, and even ordered the same drink. you and pansy acted as if you’d always been best friends. you clicked so well that it was hard to believe you’d ever hated each other.

“y/n, you’re kidding, that was you?” pansy snorted with laughter, on the edge of her seat at one of your stories you were sharing. the use of your first name sounded like honey on her tongue and the feeling in your chest told you it was something you could get used to. “blaise and i were laughing for weeks, how on earth did you manage to not get caught?” she propped up on her elbows and listened intently.

“it’s a secret, pansy,” you rolled your eyes playfully, fondly recalling the memory you’d shared of you and hermione accidentally filling dumbledore’s study with bubbles that dyed anything they touched. you hadn’t followed the witch’s instructions and absolutely refused to let her turn you two in. who knew it’d make for a great conversation piece all these years later?

“oh, you’ll tell me one day,” she sighed. one day. you had to say, despite having butted heads at the beginning of your encounter... you got along incredibly with pansy. you could genuinely say that you were elated to hear her say ‘one day’ as if it was fact that you’d see each other again.

laughter dying down, you grinned at pansy and took her hand. the back of your mind told you that you’d only been friends for a few hours and that physical affection should be off the table. but something about pansy made the unfamiliarity not matter.

“i never thought i’d find you so wonderful,” you admitted. “makes me think we should have dated each other instead of that blonde ferret prat back in hogwarts.”

pansy didn’t laugh at your half-joke, instead taking the hand you’d extended in both of hers. “we could always start now, since said blonde is out of the picture.” briefly taken aback by her boldness, you returned her glossed smirk and felt a flutter in your chest. you turned and sprawled your number out on a nearby napkin, handing it to her.

“i do have to get going. but it’s a date then, parkinson.”

“i’ll see you then, l/n.”

and in the fateful turn of events you never would have expected at the start of that already terrible day, you found yourself unbelievably excited to see pansy again.

•──♥︎

#pansy parkinson #pansy parkinson x reader #pansy parkinson imagine #pansy parkinson fluff #pansy parkinson fanfiction #pansy x reader #pansy imagine #pansy fluff #harry potter #harry potter series #harry potter x reader #hogwarts x reader #harry potter x you

[steponmepinkjun]

I NEVER FINISHED MY STORY OMG. ok so i left off at being too proud to tell my friend she was right and kpop fucked hard. the difference between u and me is that i’m too good of a liar. too good. i kept up the “i hate kpop it’s cringe” facade for ALMOST TWO WHOLE YEARS, I SHIT YOU NOT. why? bc my dumb ass, extra ass, dramatic ass self thought “ok if i’m gonna have to deal with the embarrassment of admitting i’m wrong, i better do it in such an extra ass way it’ll knock ur socks off so hard that YOULL be the one embarrassed not me.” the original plan was to learn the entire choreography to bts dope, bc it’s the song that she told me to listen to and inevitably the song that got me into them, but later switched to bts fire bc i saw too many of those “choreo matches w any song” videos, and then her birthday party came up. and here’s the real kicker. her birthday is April Motherfuckin Fools. so it would be So Perfect for me to reveal my kpopism as a birthday present And a april fools prank in one. so i was Set on the Reveal being on april 1st, but the day rolls around and god that choreo is so fucking hard and i am Not a dancer. never have been. so i abandon that and go ykno what… i’ll do it Next Year. BC MY BITCHASS WAS LIKE NO THE MOMENT IS TOO PERFECT TO DO IT ON A NORMAL ASS DAY ITS GONNA BE ON APRIL FOOLS ON HER GODDAMN BIRTHDAY OR NOT AT ALL. a year rolls by, i’ve told most of our friends except her and they’re all in on it, i’d made so many subtle kpop references to her without her realising they were fully intentional and had too many scares where she almost figured me out but i lied my way out of it, and i’d given up on showing off with choreography bc i couldn’t make that shit look good. i’m not a dancer. i am, however, a rapper, and a damn good one, so i inhaled the agust d mixtape and decided i’d just rap the eminem of kpop’s anthem at her face. in korean. and change the lyrics at the end (if u haven’t listened to agust d, the bridge repeats “i’m sorry” a lot) to “i’m sorry i kept this from u for so long” and “i’m sorry i actually ult got7 not bts” (this was like the april after skz debuted ok i was holding onto got7 for dear life knowing full well skz we’re going to convert me smh) and the best part? she never saw it coming. her official present was a cd with a bunch of kpop on it but she thought it was just a personalised mixtape for her so i told her to play the first song out loud and she knew the song Instantly. it has a long intro so she was like “i guess u did listen when i recommended u this song!! i knew you’d like it since u like rap so much!!” and then i started rapping and i shit u not. she started SCREAMING. like the initial reaction was her jaw dropping and then instinctively covering her mouth but when i kept going and she realised i wasn’t fucking around she just fucking screamed like a banshee. at the end during the sorry bit i threw off my jacket to reveal a got7 shirt on the inside and she fell off her chair and started rolling around on the floor. needless to say it was every bit as satisfying as i thought it’d be LMAOOOO afterwards her ass was like “I CANT BELIEVE U HID THIS FROM ME FOR OVER A YEAR” and when i tried to explain my ego couldn’t take the “i told u so” she was like “you know i wouldn’t have made fun of you for it right? i would just be glad you’re not hating on my boys anymore” so basically i’m a big dramatic fool and she was always too good for me.

don’t mind the weird spaces here my ipad is being all fucky wucky w me rn. damn sad to hear ur sideblog experience didn’t go so well, i’d have shown u the cool side of the fandom if i knew 😤😤 leading u thru the cursed halls of kpop stan tumblr like a sketchy tour guide that’s actually 3 small raccoons stacked on top of each other like a trench coat, like “over here we have the fanfic writers that honestly need to publish a book, over here we have the gif makers that are responsible for my entire camera roll, if we take a quick swerve past the death threat anons and the twt fanwar screenshots - mind ur feet bub the 14 year olds were tryna make a grab for ur ankles - ah here’s the holy grail of shitposts, you might be here for hours, to the right we have the weird aussie side of the fandom that projects our childhoods onto chanlix but also all the members as we decide what their life in australia would’ve been like, and down there is a secret trapdoor to the blogs w endless random headcanons that will make you laugh, cry or blush depending on if the author woke up and decided to choose violence today. enjoy your Stay!” but then again i’m not so active on tumblr anymore (ngl you’ve become the highlight of my tumblr experience these days, interaction wise,) so maybe all my Local Hotspots are inactive now. i know a bunch of them are, it’s sad. “i don’t fw stan twitter for the same reason i don’t hang out in meth dens” oop. guess i’m a meth addict. no but i get u i rly do, it’s a hellhole out there, but the fact that things get shared and spread a lot easier than on tumblr and how short most things have to be (therefor keeping up w my adhd attention span without having to resort to the mental torture that is tiktok, with the added bonus of not always needing headphones.) that i just. couldn’t leave if i tried. maybe i should try being active on tumblr again but it’s a dying site in comparison.

“their music doesn’t consistently hit for me as much as skz” i’m sorry we can’t be friends anymore. what. what. you don’t dramama ramama ramama hey? you don’t feel a little jealousyyyyyy, naega anin? you don’t shoot out, shoot out, shoot out, or aremdaeun love killa love killa? you can’t be your hero du du du du du du du du du dududu? u disappoint me. literally like everyone i know who likes skz music likes mx music like it’s a rite of Passage. they’re kindred spirits, monsta x music is like skz’s music’s cool but mildly heterosexual older brother. neither of them know what a bad song is it runs in the family. and both their music runs in my VEINS. whenever i describe my music taste they’re always the first two that come to mind, skz being my number 1 bc they are my best boys but mx bc of the Flavour. pls listen to the entire the code album then get back to me 😤🙌 ok but fr ur so right they are 7 of the finest men i ever seen (yes i say 7 bc i’m including wonho cause he deserved better and i’ll die on my ot7 bullshit.) like don’t get me started on them either LOL i LITERALLY downloaded that one insta video of changkyun working out his back n arm muscles w his tattoo showing bc i needed that shit saved for Science. they could do Anything w me like frfr. yes vixx is the bdsm contract group i’m telling ya they wildin. or at least they were. it’s been years since their last comeback idk what they’re doing anymore tbh. and yeah that makes sense, savouring the hyperfixation i feel it, but also i’m so attached to skz that i never let it die. like i hyperfixate on other things and other groups but i will Always go back to skz cause they’re my homeboys. hell, they’re my home. being a predebut stay i’ve spent more time w skz than most of my actual family members at this point. but that’s just me you do u boo xx just know that if ur anything like me ur never letting go once skz it’s been my longest lasting fixation cause they hit like Nothing Else Do. ik i’ve already said that but i cannot stress it enough. they’re really special. i’m gonna stop here before i get all sappy and emotional bc i really love those boys so fucking much and i don’t drop the L bomb often. SIDE NOTE I WOULD LIKE TO SEE UR LIST OF GROUPS RANKED BY THORSt. i need to judge ur Taste. and omg cat&dog is such a guilty pleasure song bc the lyrics make me cringe so much bc while pet play can be fun they be doing it in more of an “i’m an innocent soft dogboy uwu” kinda way that just Does Not Sit Right with me. it comes back to the objectifying of asians that asians themselves don’t help in industries like these and maybe i’m looking too far into it when rly it is just wholesome n cute or maybe they are into some pet play shit idk idc i will bop to the song regardless but i will not acknowledge the lyrics nope.

YOURE RIGHT THO SKZ’S OPENNESS IS IN FACT, A BIG DEAL, i’ll grab them for u if u want but i found these twt threads of skz supporting the lgbt community and i just felt a special kind of happiness man like sure the delusional part of me likes going “haha they’re gay” bc my brain likes to imagine them as my polycule of mlm boyfriends bc sometimes thats what gives me the serotonin to get me thru the day ok don’t judge but also bc it’s nice knowing that yes i’ll never know them personally, but at least i can support them knowing they’d respect my gender identity and my pronouns, they’d respect who i choose to love, and that’s already more than the general public can say so shit, it is special! it’s special that they don’t treat being cishet like the norm - they constantly remove gender from their songs and speech entirely, they don’t assume all stays are female anymore, we don’t talk abt the babygirls incident cause we got babystays in the end outta that ok, and it’s just. so refreshing and important to me bc i can’t get that anywhere else!! like my semi ults are the boyz and while i love them very much and there’s no way all 11 of them are straight i refuse, i do get just a little bit sad whenever they she/her their fandom by default and call them their girlfriends n shit even tho i do still identify as a girl, i’m also genderfluid/nonbinary/transmasc, and i have a very love/hate relationship w my womanhood and rarely use she/her pronouns, cause it’s like, do you not see me? see us? the ones who aren’t cishet women? i mean i know kevin does bc he congratulated a fan who came out as nb but it’s just not the same as the openness we get w skz. like how do i trust cishets i could be supporting them as a queer person when in reality they’d call me a slur. what would i know, behind the screen? so it’s so good that skz go the extra mile to make it a safe space for everyone. this is already long enough i will reply to the second half of that ask in another message… tomorrow cause it’s 1am and i’m tired gn -felix bi anon

I'mma have to start putting these under a readmore so that i don't absolutely make everything who is still following me for some reason go totally fucking insane 😂

NDJDHWJJAHFNAKBSJSBFBHHDBDNAJD YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE FACES I WAS MAKING READING THIS, I WAS FUCKING CACKLING AND GASPING EVERY OTHER SENTENCE SO HARD THAT I SCARED THE CATS NDJWHSHSB the fact that you went "oh you want me to get into kpop? Give me a hot minute, and I'll give you a whole ass private concert for free" biduehsjdbd biiiiiiiiiiitch you're a fucking ICON, I stg I could NEVER 😂 (and not just because I couldn't find a tune if you gave me a printed set of Google maps directions and that I embody the steriotype that white people can't dance, like my sister kept sensing me tiktoks of the whole "dance like a white girl" trend going lmfao look it's you and eventually I was like "sis please this trend has me feeling like being white is a disability and these mothafuckers are being ableist 😭 also I could NEVER be that on beat so yall ain't even doin it right 😭😭😭😭"). Tbh if I told one of my friends (lol what friends, i got jokes) to get into Skz and they showed up at my bday and performed the entirety of I Got It I would simply shower them in money and go "aight everyone else go home, you are no longer needed, you are being laid off, your position has been eliminated, we're downsizing, the company is moving up and you're moving out, you are not qualified for this role any longer, best of luck with future endeavors" 😊

I think part of the reason I can't deal w Twitter is the exact reason I refuse to leave tumblr, in that I've been on tumblr since 2006 and twt since 2008, and tumblr literally has not changed at all, not even a little, whereas going from the early days of twt where there were no corporate sponsorships or ads and you had to manually copy and paste someone's tweet and @ them to retweet it, to how it is now, like 90% ads and showing me shit from the timelines of people I don't even fuckin follow n whatnot, it's just not enjoyable. Idk how anyone finds anything on twt, it confuses and frustrates me because I am old and have not adapted well to technology changing 😂 But arguably, the skz fanbase doesn't want me on skztwt anyways so like it works for both of us lmfaooo. I am old and cringey, and also still think of twt as stream of consciousness whereas tumblr is your teenage bedroom where you can decorate the walls with anything that interests you. I do really love the nonsensical kpoptwt shitposts tho fhshsbdjjss like it is a very specific flavor of mental instability that I enjoy immensely 😂 OH and also I initially misread part of that and thought you were saying you actually irl do meth and I was like 😳 WHAT DO I SAY TO THAT. HOW DO I HANDLE THIS. Like how do I express like "I wasn't being judgy of people who use substances cause I've been there but I was just being insensitive 😳" And then went back and reread it and was like WHEW, IM JUST AN ILLITERATE FOOL 😂😂😂😂 ejeywhdhrhjwbfbdjshdhdhd I spent like an hour bwign like "IS THE REASON WE GET ALONG BECAUSE THEY'RE ON METH???? WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS INFORMATION??????" hrhehshe I am literally a fuckin idiot it's fine

It's not that I don't fw them, it's more like... Okay so like there is no situation in which I am going to skip a skz song if it comes on shuffle. You will not ever catch me NOT in the mood to listen to Sunshine, if God's Menu comes on we are THROWIN the meager amount of booty meat I got hither and thither, I could be in the happiest mood of my life but if Ex comes on I will stop to SOB. And I'm not like that with most music, so mx just falls into the category of "there is a time and place." Idk why but it just doesn't forcibly grab hold of my heart and ass the way skz always does. I really don't WANT my skz fixation to ever end, but I know that eventually it'll stop giving me dopamine bevause my brain is my worst fucking enemy 🙃 like my arcana fixation is to date the longest running hyperfixation I've ever had, going on almost three years, and I used to not be able to spend every single second of every day thinking about Asra, but now... I just feel nothing when I look at arcana stuff. As you can probz tell by the fact that I hardly post arcana anymore 😂 So I know that eventually all my happiness will end, it always does, I can never stay just as obsessed with something as I was for long. I CANT SHARE THE LIST BECAUSE I DONT *HAVE* TASTE YET 😭 I'm basically just compiling a list of any group someone tells me I should look into, ranked by how strong the kitty purred upon googling pics of them 😂 My mom read my ass to FILTH over txt lmfao she was like "they're not that adorable. Maybe your standard for adorableness has gone down with You Know Who still on hiatus 🤔" bfjwhdhd like MOMMAAAAA THE LIBRARY IS CLOSED 😂 she attacks me any time I even hint at stanning other groups, she is a skz purist and stans skz only, unofficial Momma Stay of All Stays keeping me in check lmfao.

I feel like skz really do follow thru on their promise that they're a safe space for stays, it's nice to see that they hold space for anyone and everyone in their fanbase and do it in a really simple and elegant way, I feel. Like they never make it seem like "okay here are the fans and here are the token weirdos that were only recognizing to make a buck off of them" the way a lot of artists make it feel like 😑 like they don't go out of their way to act like it's some revolutionary act to do the bare minimum of not shitting on certain parts of the fandom, if that makes sense. They feel very "yeah, of course we love all our stays, this is a welcoming space for literally anyone, that's how it should be, that should be normal," instead of like "Hi fans we love you 😊 and special shoutout to you ell gee bee tee folk, make sure to buy my rainbow merch after the show!!!" you know? Like, they're the friends who would never make you feel weird or different for some shit, the friends that take the attention off you if something they know ur sensitive about comes up, instead of weirdly snapping at whoever brought the unfomfy thing up which ruins the mood and makes you feel tiwce as bad, yk? They just give off this vibe that they, and the space they create with their music, is just a genuine and chill place to be and hang out and relax and bond. I feel like they'd be the friend group that is so goofy and sweet and silly and accepting and lovely and always makes you feel loved and excited to be alive 🥺 They are all good noodles 🥺🥺🥺

#felix-bi-anon #asksteppie

[spnreactionblogging]

INHERIT THE EARTH

SPOILERS BELOW but I guess I’m late to the party huh

oh boy here goes, it's 12/10/2020 as I write this and I've had social media blacklisting SPN tags for the last month so I could get into the headspace to deal with this, I have not heard good things but although I got 15x19 spoiled for me I have somehow avoided 15x20 spoilers so let's see joining me is Two Brothers Pinch of Grace beer and Angel's Envy rum cask rye whiskey a "familiar face" returns? the dog? oh boy it's a buckleming episode I can't wait. how much of this footage was shot after lockdown, is what I want to know. what changed. I am upset that I'm walking into Jack Dying, the episode, on the heels of Cas Dying, the episode the violin is soulful and good at least thank you Jack. thank you for asking where he is. I love this shot of sam against the power lines. he looks so small. dean I really don't want you to be the one pretending you give a shit and trying to "comfort" jack. nice reverse establishing shot of the earth. "hokay. so, here's the earth." oh hey jake abel. I guess I knew that. doesn't mark pellegrino show up too. they're the only PCs left oh sweetheart :( he's trying to pray to him. so buckleming remembered that was an option, huh, just not like. in the ma'lak box jack sitting on that giant retail planter is so damn sad man the fucking uh, the empty news chair with the camera rolling is wild. I love you sam I love rob and every time I see him I'm sad that they made chuck such an asshole calling jack a "lapdog" wow. indeed. okay chuck you're ripping off The Road or whatever, we get it jack has like honest to god pajamas. maybe they were from the dryad or whoever for christmas dean passed out on the floor huh he found a liquor store and he drank it is jack hearing angel radio again doggo "I love you miracle dog" this dog honestly is the best thing oh there he goes :( rickrolled "maybe that's the point. no one left to save. no one but us." sam is better at reading than dean is okay that is a COOL fucking camera angle looking down from above the crucifix this does feel a lot lonelier, like early seasons are we looking at the stations of the cross, is that what the pages were turned to. I couldn't quite see jake abel, I wish I had not missed your baking show with misha that instagram failed to record :( "poor bastard never caught a break" no fucking kidding, RIP adam (finally) michael's been running PR on earth I can't get over how much it looks like jack and adam/michael should be related can michael read the death book? lmao this is how a lot of people seem to feel about books in general, like it's causing them pain to try to read. dramatic music as no one can read it's chuck pranking them again. guaranteed. LMAOOOOO OR LUCIFER so the empty can eject angels back onto earth. fascinating. ah, betty is a reaper. she's gonna come back as death, huh so she can read the book tbh good for her the headbutt was good death starter kit with the decoder ring lmaooooo GOD talking to them like they're petty children is honestly making my day!!! "not a group project" I mean even if she was with them she could just lie about what it says. not okay with leaving jack and lucifer alone "almost-mighty" is really funny the house of cards is good lucifer's right about "fuck god" is betty the empty hahaha you guys got fucked "mikey's a cuck" wow. thanks buckleming. cuckleming? archangel blade??? jack u ok did sam hook michael up with that??? sam is smart. thank fuck. sam'll have it cracked in an hour. sam's got the book of the damned and google translate: enochian (that he cowrote with castiel) sam's a witch wherever they're filming is gorgeous GET HIM, SAM, PUNCH GOD IN THE FACE that was inspired. that was like bobby singer shooting lucifer levels of inspired. buckleming had to get their torture in. last hurrah for the torture train where's jack??? this is what people mean when they say "I like to torture my OCs" you know you didn't have to be an asshole to your grandchild, dude I like when everybody's eyes glow but especially jack's this empty book is trump's COVID plan. just blank sheets of paper stapled together sam is smart. jack's like a mushroom. just soaks up all the good juices in the pan. what if sam and dean make out in the next episode and we find out becky wrote the whole show. maybe you just have to be a regular jackoff, chuck. dean pretty much is the ultimate killer. I mean yeah that is who you are, dean how victorious. you die sick and alone and forgotten with no healthcare. america! this is a bummer. is this victorious? did we win? lmao the sign "ONE MORE!" is that a teal impala over there how do you have extras in this episode, yeesh how much was stock footage, if any "What do we call you?" "Who cares what we call him? All that matters is that we got him back online." fuck off dean at least let jack answer "of course he's coming back" fuck off dean why would he come back with you if he can do anything he wants GO FIND CAS fuck off dean just fuck off dude, you don't get to boss him around how freudian, kill your grandfather who is god very demiurge of you, jack jack's off to be a blind watchmaker I love how he waves, jack is adorable god they're like literally red oni blue oni (red jackass, blue jackass?) over here lmao, these shirts when did cas and jack write their names on the table, they only count now that they're dead? or did I miss something earlier this shot of "what is and what should never be" absolutely breaks my goddamn heart. top fave. fuck. this is a sweet tribute how is this not the end???? I like how kim rhodes and misha collins get special guest star credits for their voicemails/fake phone call literally how is this not the ending to the show. why is there another episode. sans undertale appears to warn me not to watch the next episode. "you're gonna have a bad time." a friend who's not in the fandom asked me "is the tetanus thing for real" and I was like "??????????" and that's the only thing I know going into this. what do they do, drive into toluca lake have a jared and jensen spa day I caught wind of someone saying like "what if sam wakes up to 'heat of the moment' again" which would be BRILLIANT but they're not that clever do they just get stabbed by a regular-ass ghost? do we delete the whole universe and salt and burn the show itself? where do we even go from here. how many sharks are left to jump. someone said "sam gets shot by navient for unpaid student loans" and that is fucking funny and too real sam dies of muscular dystrophy and dean sings "heat of the moment" to congress to allow stem cell research? what. what could you possibly write from here. and why would you. I feel like any shitpost thing I say is still gonna be more clever than what they came up with and I'm not sure I should even watch it. I also hate the idea that buckleming would have the last word but it was surprisingly watchable is this SPN's equivalent of the candy epilogue, but with zero self-awareness? the network swooping in for a final "fuck you" like they did to mark sheppard? what. what even. I don't know if I want to know

#s15e19

[diningpageantry]

Scales, Fins, and other Fishy Daydreams

Archive Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18215168/chapters/43151156

Chapter 3/10 of It’s A Handheld Disaster

Word Count: 1553

Chapter Summary: Baz takes Simon's shitpost text a step further, and the outcome ends up spreading a few rumors.

SIMON

bi-sammy: sammy would still fuck huxley if he looked like the fish from shape of water

I grin smugly at my screen, sitting in a dark room with nothing shining but my mobile. The shutters stay shut, and the light from the bottom of the doorway barely filters into the room. It’s just me, this scratchy blanket, and Baz, somewhere else in England on another screen. I absolutely adore that.

gaystrell: why would you say something so controversial yet so brave.jpg

Sometimes, I catch myself smiling. Other times, I elect to ignore how real it feels. It’s weird, given that it feels like I’m just chatting with someone who I see everyday. The casualness of this reminds me of texting Penny in the afternoon on a Thursday.

Except, given the current time, it could be interpreted as more intimate than that of a friend’s text.

8am on a Saturday is usually a time reserved for comfort. For staying warm with someone you care about. Instead, I’m just messaging Baz.

bi-sammy: because im right

bi-sammy: hear me out here ive got a brilliant idea

gaystrell: whoever taught you the definition of a brilliant idea was clearly misleading you

bi-sammy: dont be an arse until youve heard it

bi-sammy: wanker

gaystrell: you’re truly proving your point

bi-sammy: ANYWAY

bi-sammy: shape of water au

bi-sammy: thats all

gaystrell: i’m appalled.

gaystrell: hold on.

I don’t think much of it. Occasionally, he disappears for an hour to two. I don’t bother asking, assuming it’s none of my business, but I do tend to worry a bit. I hope he’s alright.

After clicking off my phone, my head settles against my pillow as my eyes fall shut.

There’s something about this. There’s something about him. It’s a bit hard to pinpoint what it is, but the overwhelming feeling of comfort I have in the notifications I get from him just answering my bullshit is incredibly welcomed. He’s semisweet. I don’t know why I didn’t see it earlier, but he’s a fantastically bitter person.

My head slowly turns over, eyes opening and straining in the darkness.

I hate my empty room.

I hate the absence of comfort--I hate the plainness of these walls.

I want to say I hate my foster dad, but I also feel like I’m not allowed to say that. Not because the system will take me again and throw me back (even though I could have left a year back, if I was still in it). Instead, I feel like I shouldn’t hate him. Theoretically, I should be thankful for what I have. I’m not in a boy’s home, and I haven’t been since I was 11, but the remnants remain. The fights don’t go away, and neither do the weeks of starvation.

Still, I sort of despise living here under Davy.

That’s what he makes me call him. His name. His nickname. Not dad; of course not dad. He’s had me in his care for roughly six years, but he’s still Davy to me.

Shitty fucking Davy, with his strict curfews and practically using me as a housemaid because he’s too cheap to care for himself.

Shitty fucking Davy, not letting me add anything to my room because the day I turn 18, I’m out of here until his next kid (and cheque, apparently) come in. Told me I’d wreck the walls and ruin his furniture if I did put anything on it, too.

So that’s what I’ve got. Blank walls, blank furniture, blank everything. It’s like a jail cell for a bedroom, and everything I’ve got to show for myself is in a backpack and two dresser drawers/

But, at least, I own my mobile.

Every summer job, mixed with odds and ends shit and whatever I can do for my bill. It’s all mine, and Davy can’t fucking touch it.

Maybe that’s why, when I feel it buzz against my chest, it makes me feel more alive. It’s a reminder of all that work just to be able to talk to someone freely.

Arguably, the best feeling in the goddamn world.

I grab it and flip it over. It’s just an email about uni.

Fuck.

I end up scrolling through tumblr for a little while, doing nothing but liking and reblogging a thing here or there. It takes a little while before a little drop down falls from the top of my screen.

gaystrell: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1r7Wkwj7MSFk0--DgquHGhYVBbqneEYq0J01t0uMRmxA/edit?usp=sharing

gaystrell: feel the need to apologize before you click the link, but then again, you asked for this hell

When I click on it, it pulls up a doc titled just “crackfic”, and I’m floored with the first sentence alone.

“Fuck my fish ass harder, daddy.”

My hand flies up, covering my mouth as I practically wheeze as quietly as possible. A few paragraphs in and I’m nearly crying into my palm, muffling my laughter as I read through pages upon pages of the most ridiculous fic I’ve ever laid my eyes upon.

I check the word count out of pure curiosity, and it somehow makes me laugh harder.

bi-sammy: holy fucking shit

bi-sammy: i swear to god if you don’t post that i will

gaystrell: already in the process of making the archive post

gaystrell: i seriously believe you underestimate my sincere ability to be the biggest dick on the street

bi-sammy: i dont know whether or not u meant that as ur literal dick or the big dick energy in making that a post but id probably agree with you in both

bi-sammy: tag me in the post pls i want to be the first to reblog it

gaystrell: you’re a ridiculous, sad, little man

gaystrell: of course i’ll tag you

Within minutes, it’s uploaded with the absolute worst slew of Archive tags attached to it, and as soon as he tags me in his post, I tap the notification.

Scales, Fins, and other Fishy Daydreams

Word Count: 3,192

Summary: Fish!Huxley and Sam get it on Shape of Water style

@bi-sammy this is your fault (you're welcome)

I immediately slam like and pull up reblog, rapidly typing out my response before posting.

absolute madman. cant believe youve done this. i trust you with my entire life.

As usual, he's quick to reblog back.

anything for the absolute pain in my life x

Smiling shamelessly, I ride on the moment's high as our conversation stays out in the world. I quite enjoy this version of his softness. The public, taunting replies to mine. In all this time of following him, I can't really recall him ever being this friendly with anyone but me.

Makes me feel special. Maybe too much so.

BAZ

The jarring shock of the seemingly endless notifications rattles me momentarily speechless.

It isn't even 15 minutes after I'd replied to Snow and there's already a few people reblogging it with comments about him and I. A quick “i ship y'all’ to “powermove of the century”. Each make me flush deeper as the replies flood in.

If I were to be practical, I'm aware that I shouldn't be so flustered over the concept of us being a couple. It's most likely my overactive, sad, lonely imagination, but the idea of being loved just makes me blush. Especially since it's someone who doesn't seem to absolutely loathe me.

gaystrell: are you reading these?

bi-sammy: the what?

bi-sammy: i have. nothing to read. i cant read.

gaystrell: use your two remaining brain cells look at the notes for the crackfic

bi-sammy: holy shit

bi-sammy: im cackling

A notification pops up, making me snort this time. I pull up the post and send it off to him without a second thought.

gaystrell: sent a post

gaystrell: “sounds like something huxley would do for sam”

bi-sammy: stop im gonna piss myself shits too fucking funny

I pull it back up, scrolling down to reblog and adding a quick reply that, in all honesty, I should have thought out more. Secretly, part of me is glad that I sent it.

huxley wishes he was this smooth ;)

Within seconds, replies flood in from everywhere. From jokes about Snow and I possibly dating to the concept of Huxley writing (purposefully) shitty homoerotica about himself as a fishman. I quite like the conversation about the latter, while the former makes my chest knot in ways inexplicable.

Going through the notes makes me smile, even if it's mildly embarrassing. The amount of times I've seen the eyes emoji used is definitely excessive, but still somewhat welcomed.

Even my archive has a few comments already, although more based around the fic itself. More ironically, though, is the one person who probably took it seriously and just commented, “Nice fic!” I love the abundance of shameless appreciation for obscure fanfiction in the depths of this community.

Snow's messages roll down my mobile screen as I'm checking the comments, continuously replacing the previous message for the top slot.

bi-sammy: mate

bi-sammy: i love you

bi-sammy: also every time you reblog something of mine i get like 5 followers

bi-sammy: if you mention me i get 10

bi-sammy: youre???????????? a god????????

bi-sammy: can i marry you????????????

I slowly close my laptop, eyes on my phone with an absolutely gleeful grin.

gaystrell: when and where?

#carry on #fanfiction #fanfic #fic #mine #it's a handheld disaster #snowbaz #simon snow #tyrannus basilton grimm-pitch #tyrannus basilton grimm pitch #baz pitch #simon #baz

[dbphantom]

Canon: Zane Flynt fucks

Me: haha u know what this means ;))))

Me:

Me:

Me: merfolk glamour time

[[MORE]]

Alright but for real tho u wanna see how deep I am in this fucking universe? Lego

I don't even know where to begin with this universe (Zer0 is an alien! Hammerlock is a werewolf! Troy is psychic! Tannis is a skag! Wait, no, wrong shitpost...) so imma open the 140 page document and start from the beginning

Annnnd Clay! Junpai-7.

When Zane meets Clay for the first time he mentions they did a smuggling job together on Junpai-7, u know, the water planet, so obviously this is good news (This made me super happy because my discord channel's name had been the junpai-7 moon pool for a while so I was like 'holy shit it's canon now' :') )

Timeline wise this isn't the beginning, but I don't write in chronological order and I don't order anything in chronological order, either, so. Eh.

Speaking of chronological order, I once got a line where Zane was like exclaiming something and used the moon instead of idk a god or powerful figure or smth and I was like 'lmao that's canon now'

So the moon... Elpis fucking got yeeted halfway across the galaxy or smth, and, considering we've seen (more) ocean on Pandora in 3 instead of just, like, Liars Berg (getting to THAT) or Tretchers landing, I feel bad for the tides. But that's good news for everyone else. Unless you were on Elpis, I guess.

Also hoh boy the 'end' of the game where Troy Phaselocks the moon was fun to write (it actually wasn't, I lowkey hate writing Moonstruck phases because... It hurts and I can't do it well.) also can we talk about how in tps the psychos are called Moonstrucks in tvhm because this makes me so happy. I really hope they did that intentionally considering H2O is an Australian show because my two favorite things combined can and will kill me. Wait actually the Troy boss fight is gonna be hilarious to write mostly because of that one attack with the tidal waves lol oh no

Also, also, also, you guys it's only explained in a guide book and never actually in-game as to why Captain's ship is Like That (TM) so I took some liberties and uhhh blame the Crackening. I mean the crackening happened after dahl pulled out of Pandora/Elpis so it works. It sorta works. It mostly works. Fuck. It works okay? shut. That's why Liars Berg is all frozen ocean [shoves 3 page essay about climate change on Pandora into the trash] don't need that anymore.

I was gonna talk about smth else

Oh yeah

Mostly brain freeze and trick of the light. That one meme video I made of Tannis and the Flynt Brothers imposed over that one clip of H2O (so let me get this straight: you freeze things, you explode things, and you boil things) wasn't just for laughs, it was actually a warning.

Each Flynt has a thing and Zane's is ice, Baron's is explosions, and Captain's is fire. (Glorious cleansing fire) Because it fits. It fits so well. I will say right off the bat that Mako Mermaids isn't my canon. I lowkey want to write out Charlotte as well (lol) because I've seen the 2nd season so many times and tbh I much prefer them having 1 really strong power over having 3+ really weak powers. Also Charlotte did nothing wrong in the first half of that season. Cleo was just a bitch to her. And Mako Mermaids is just. Not great on the power side of things. You can TURN INVISIBLE. USE IT. Soooo. (also cam got destroyed in s1 and I'm so glad they ended up making him work in s2 and 3. Because he deserved better and Zac was a terrible friend to him and only got away with it because he's a main character). /rant sorry I have so many feelings about these shows. Grew up with them soooooo.

And if ur wondering why I brought up trick of the light it's cause the 13th year exists and that movie was bopping. U guys remember Jess? Good times... Tuba pool scene is iconic. U know the one. I would also bring up aquamarine but ngl that movie was weaksauce comparatively. They hid that bitch in a water tower and iunno talked to earrings. Meanwhile in the 13th year they bring Jess back from the fucking dead and climb on walls like Spiderman. Clearly one is superior.

"but cruddy Aurelia has ice powers too and she's not a mermaid" no she's a werewolf like her brother we already went over that. Did u think I was kidding? No! I'm never kidding unless I am and I fucking love werewolves so I'd never kid about that. I love werewolves and I love Hammerlock and it's perfect I just love the idea of this gentlemanly hunter being a werewolf because I want to see a giant hulking monster being all proper and shit. They're just really cool. Werewolves > vampires and ngl I'm sad skyrim screwed over werewolves with the dawnguard dlc. Anyway Aurelia's ice powers are nanobots as explained in-game and listen I already lore-scienced this okay? Let me say it's amazing the things science is capable of when it thinks it's trying to beat out a competitor and doesn't realize non-Siren magic exists. Even better now that we know Sirens are not Eridian and actually existed before Eridians. Makes me giddy to think about. The universe is tearing me APART Lisa.

Oh speaking of, can we talk about the witch's brew quest on eden-6 because holy shit I had been writing Hiromi and her fascination with discovering all the secret circles long before the game came out and then learning about the group of witches and The Pact (TM) made me lose my shit because 'oh my god it's actually canon now'. We're on the canon path nowwwww. Soon. I hope we get a water planet dlc. I wants it, GB, I wants it.

Also I was totally gonna write a clip in the main story of the game (because I write a lot of backstory stuff if you can't tell, I only have like 3 scenes that take place during the events of the game and like 4 that are speculatory from before the game came out (including a scene from before I realized Troy was Like That but I edited it so he's more in-line and also has Maya's powers now so that's... Hm. In line with the storyline somewhere, but not an actual scene in the games story. Because its not possible with how the game does things (seperating Vault Hunters) I suppose I could just insert a 5th Vault somewhere and say it's the 4th Vault connected to the Machine (with nekrotefeyo's being the 5th). Fuck it.) and then 9,000 are backstory) where Hiromi comes back after like decades of the two not seeing each other and she's been hired to assassinate Zane by one of the many corporations looking for his corpse for a multitude of reasons (And Emma and Nino are both d e a d a s f, you know, for context). And like Barnabas (ya old bastard) Zane is still joking around and just having a grand old time catching up with his black ops buddy meanwhile she had just tried to blow his brains out (she's a sniper) and got pretty damn close. She's not even amused because of her psychic powers so she's just like 'ok' every time he opens his mouth because she already knows what he's going to say she's mostly just frustrated that she missed because she thought she knew him well enough to go off instead of just listening to her intuition but alas people change after, like, 3 decades of not seeing them.

Oh since we're talking about Hiromi that reminds me why Zane wears the black suit. In my non-h2o universe it's because it looks cool and provides some protection from dots. In the H2Oniverse it is because it's waterproof. Okay wait hang on context so Hiromi doesn't like take off his suit or anything, she's extremely gay and not interested, because I realize now how that sounds me relating Hiromi to the clothes, they just get into an argument about how Sirens don't have to follow any arbitrary rules to hide their magic and how it's easier to hide magic without giant glowing tattoos (and mind you this is before Zane even knows Tannis exists though he does immediately know she's a Siren and that's a whole nother can of worms) and hr's like 'I wear a bodysuit for most of my waking hours, so I am pretty sure they can try wearing long sleeved shirts and makeup for a day. Just a suggestion' but like way more in character (and for the scene) because do I sound like I'm in character right now? I'm not. I'm me. And God what a terrible thing to be.

So context for the context: ~magic is real~. If you've got it then you can usually tell who else has it if you're looking. It's especially clear if they're 'similar' to you (if ur a werewolf and u meet another werewolf then you sorta just know they're a werewolf) or if you're psychic (like Hiromi) then you can make some informed guesses. Like. Same Hat? Same Hat!!! Sirens are basically such powerful magic users that they are in literally a whole nother ball park. They're leagues above everyone else. Kill you just by looking at you sort of deal. So sirens normally don't feel other magic because their own magic is so strong it just 'overwrites' the other signals. You know, to not only explain why Lilith isn't immediately like 'who the fuck are you' to Zane and also how Amara couldn't tell Tannis is a Siren. I had a whole thing with Troy (who is psychic) being able to tell Zane had magic despite being near 4 Sirens at once because Troy grew up with Tyreen always at his side so he's used to it and knows how to look through it. Meanwhile Hiromi is basically incapacitated when she's near a Siren because she gets overwhelmed because her powers make it easier for her to read other people's magic.

Oh, context, the black ops outfit worked with Atlas for a short time (the group being Zane, Hiromi, Emma, and Nino. Emma is the yeehaw captain. She's the leader) and ended up meeting Steele for a little bit. Hiromi was just dead the entire meeting, Zane was totally out of it, and Emma and Nino were too busy eyefucking to really care that there was a Siren in the room so. Just imagine one person lying face down on the floor and crying, another staring at the wall without blinking, two undressing each other with their eyes, and then Cmdt. Steele standing in the middle like 'how the fuck did I get here'.

So that was everyone's first experience with a Siren.

There are more but ehhhh I'm tired and I mostly wrote this because I wanted to talk about it with someone else but they haven't read the whole thing yet so now I can scream into the void about it and not feel like I'm bothering them.

Hooray!

#Borderlands #Me walking into the club like what up I'm about to make 0 sense #Who wants to hear about the au literally nobody else wanted?? #Bl3 #I realize this fandom is actually active on here so I'm slightly scared posting this #Since the last H2O au thing I posted was fucking RvB from God uhhh 3-4 years ago now? Fuck me #I put this in the queueueueue so I won't know when it goes up so I'm not anxious #Oh this is the context by the way #For that picture I posted #That I'm never going to bring up again

[strengthrequireskindness]

OC shitpost

So, I notice a lot of u on here are into PJO/HOO/anything Rick Riordan writes.

@storm-broken-wings

@blackjacktheboss

@cindersart

@ananbeth

And that’s who I can think of off the top of my head. If you don’t read him you should, but I’m warning you that the second series (HOO) is slightly iffy.

While the man and his writing has some flaws, I’ll admit he made a damn good storyboard to work with. I have made several Riordanverse OCs, and would like to share them with you all.

First up, my anxious fire boy, Cal Kowalski! Note: I tried to do my research on Judaism and autism, but if I have offended anyone with this character, please let me know and I will change it!

Name: Caleb David “Cal” Kowalski

Hair: brown

Eyes: brown

Age-17

Height: six foot one, someone stop this boy from growing

Mother: Deborah Kowalski, fire chief for the Cleveland fire department. A force to be reckoned with and extremely inventive-once used a nearby lake to fuel the fire hose when there were no hydrants nearby

Godly Parent-Vulcan. A lot of people forget he’s also the god of fire, so when he saw Deborah risking her life to fight it, he was smitten. Completely fell for her when he admitted that he watched her work as a fire chief. Her response? “You’re a god, right? Stop watching people and buildings burn and start fucking helping.”

Sexuality: bi. Let’s be real, he’s admired Ichor and Jason more than once. Is completely devoted to his also bisexual girlfriend. More on her later.

Camp: Jupiter, Fifth Cohort. Has considered moving to Half-Blood, but dropped it after Octavian...oh right, there are people who haven’t read the books. Let’s leave it at that.

Nationality: Polish.

Religion: proudly (though not supremely devoutly) Jewish. Will make all the jokes about his religion. Was very confused when his mother told him his father was a god

Weapon: Roman infantry axe, or dolabra. Has heard all the woodcutter or lumberjack jokes. Has come up with a few of them

Personality: actual golden retriever, loyal, kind, hardworking, patient, and generous. Won’t fight unless it’s in self-defense, for training, or against monsters. Even then, does so reluctantly. Shy, clumsy, awkward introvert. Not great with public speaking, social interaction, or crowds, though he tries. Ride-or-die friend once you get to know him. Happiest when working at the forges or with his close friends. Autistic. Stims by lacing his fingers together or through card tricks, often says inappropriate things at the wrong time, tends to compartmentalize negative emotions, can talk about forging, metalworking, and firefighters for hours on end, needs systems and routines to function, thinks in very black and white terms. Goes nonverbal when angry, sad, or frustrated.

Powers/Abilities-

Geothermokinesis-can manipulate molten earth, phase change earth into lava and vice versa, cause magma to rise from deep within the earth, forming miniature volcanoes, turn nearby rock molten, and telekinetically project blasts of lava, magma, or molten earth at targets

Weaknesses-socially awkward, gullible, black and white thinking, tends to think badly of himself, survivors guilt, lava he creates can spread and cause more damage if left unattended, can be harmed by his own powers, powers are linked to emotional state so he has to keep his temper or things start to melt

History

-Fire chief mom with large extended family

-mom met Vulcan one night while firefighting, it was rocky at first but after some talking things through and some kissing they made it work

-cal was born that August

-when Cal was three, tragedy struck

-his mother was diagnosed with mesothelioma

-they suspected it was from a fire in a chemical factory shed fought

-the firefighters she was chief of helped raise Cal while his mother underwent treatment,as did his extended family

-He grew up shy and quiet, the opposite of his mother but very much like his father, had difficulty reading, and could never pay attention that well if he didn’t like something

-It took a few years, several theories (some well meaning, some extremely inappropriate, some both) and an official diagnosis at the age of seven before the people taking care of him realized he was autistic, dyslexic, and had ADHD, and that they had to respect that instead of treating him like a normal kid

-some of his extended family thought that meant he wasn’t normal

-he doesn’t talk to them anymore

-the firemen and ninety percent of his family were totally fine with it, even when other things started to happen

-they found him in the courtyard at age ten, a miniature volcano spouting lava into the air and him frantically trying to turn it off

-the Mist shielded them from seeing the entire thing, but they still sat him down and had a Talk about playing with fire

-but Cal knew what happened

-At age twelve, his mother took a sudden turn for the worse. When he went to see her with Hector and Brandon, two firefighters, he was turned away by a doctor that did not look at all like a doctor to him

-The Doctor insults him, only to be challenged by Hector, who can see through the Mist

-He tells Cal to run and see his mom before punching the doctor square in the face

-Cal makes it to his moms room, only to find her struggling and squirming as a monster in a lab coat shoves a pillow onto her face

-Terrified but furious, he scares off the monster with a blast of lava from the ground, which also sets the room on fire

-Making it out of the room, he turns to his mom, only for her to tell him that he’s the son of a god

-He predictably freaks the fuck out, running with her to where he last saw the firefighters

-Only to find that Darnell is dead and Hector is losing the fight against something that looks way too much like the estrie he’s read about once in the Sefer Hasidim

-Seeing Cal, Hector grins with bloody teeth before driving a fire extinguisher into the things head

-it collapses, but before it can get up again the building groans as the fire spreads

-They flee the hospital, forced to leave Darnell behind as the alukah pursues them

-When they get back to the house, everyone is in an uproar. Why is Deborah back, why is Hector’s mouth bleeding, where the hell is Darnell

-While everyone is arguing and taking care of Deborah, Hector and Cal’s aunt Aviva take him into Cal’s room

-He and Aviva confirm what Cal’s mom said, also telling him about the existence of Camp Jupiter. It turns out he is a former legionnaire, having come to Cleveland two years before Cal was born to look after him at Deborah’s request. Aviva can just see through the mist, though Deborah confided in her in case she died before she could do so herself.

-They don’t have much time. After what Cal did at the hospital, his aura is going to attract every monster from here to Columbus.

-He gives him a weird-looking axe, explaining that this dolabra was once his when he was a legionary but now he wants Cal to have it

-They all share a hug, with Hector telling him that everyone in the house has his back

-There’s a knock on the door, revealing the monster from earlier, now disguised as a human social worker via the Mist

-Uses a bunch of ableist language to explain why they should give Cal to him

-No one in the house buys his bullshit, even when he appears human

-The firefighters don’t like the government in general because they offered no workers comp for the cancer their chief got from the factory, and they’ve watched her fight against something that the government was supposed to help her with, the government draining her money all the while. But now this jackass is insulting their kid.

-The extended family are unwilling to give him up, and especially not to a man who insults and belittles him

-monster gets fed up, says that if cal stays here he’ll keep coming for him until he gets what he wants

-cue the entire family telling him to get bent

-Aviva tells Hector to take Cal and go, that she’ll explain to them why and that they all love him

-Roadtrip to California with monsters on their tail

-the estrie catches up to them in Oakland, flanked by its monster buddy, which Cal now knows is a telekhine

-it’s pissed at cal because he’s a demigod and because his father took over their forges

-they fight, and Cal uses the dolabra and kills the telekhine, burnt from his earlier encounter with it

-he’s extremely grossed out by this

-Hector intercepts the estrie before it can get to Cal and fights the estrie, but he’s out of practice and is fatally injured

-Cal watches him die and is furious, pleading to know why the estrie did it

-the estrie just wants to kill a Jewish human, it doesn’t particularly care that he’s a demigod. Hector was in the way.

-Using his powers intentionally for the first time, Cal opens up a volcanic fissure under the estrie and sends her down into the magma

-He then takes Hector to the camp tunnel before passing out

-He’s found there by Gwen, who stands for him

-Some time after, she pulls him aside and tells him that she read in the local paper (all praetors and centurions read the outside paper to get the news for the camp, fight me) that there was a suspected terrorist attack in Ohio around the time Cal came in

-He breaks down and tells her it’s his house, there are no confirmed survivors except for three firemen and his mother

-Alex comes along a month later, and they dance around each other for a while before making it official

Trivia

-he writes letters to his mother whenever he can

-Darnell taught him how to play cards and do card tricks, both for fun and as a stim if needed, he burns a card every year on the day he died

-he definitely had a thing for Jason before he started dating Alex. It never went anywhere though.

-he makes the menorah for the camp-wide Hanukkah celebration (cmon you’re telling me everyone at CJ is Christian or atheist or agnostic? Cmon man)

-he imagines his dolabra is a fire axe when he’s fighting monsters

-his aunt taught him to cook Polish cuisine, among other things, and his kotlet schabowy is to die for, but he’s recently branched out into Chinese food due to his girlfriend’s complaints about how the restaurant chains near them only serve shitty Chinese food

-can jump rope like a boss due to many hours with his younger cousins

-terrified of heights

-that’s all I’ve got so far! If you guys have any other questions about him, send me an ask!

[turtle-steverogers]

You’re Literally Not Dying

it’s sad boy hours take some bad ralbert content im sorry idk where my usual writing vibes been

i actually wrote this for my gf cuz she wanted a sickfic cuz she’s sick rn rip her

warnings: nothing but race is a whiny bitch when he’s sick

ships: ralbert

editing: nope

Albert rubbed his eyes, letting out a frustrated sigh as he tried to focus his gaze on his computer. He’d been at the library studying for his neuro exam for five hours already and his joints were well beyond stiff. His usually sharp focusing skills were shotty and as his stomach growled audibly, he began to wonder if maybe it was time for a break. He idly picked up his third coffee cup and groaned internally when he discovered that the bitter liquid was now cold. Maybe he’d go get a fresh one from the coffee shop downstairs, and while he was at it, he could pick up a sandwich or something. Yeah, that sounded good.

All his plans were quickly squashed when his music cut out and his phone began to buzz on the table next to him. He glanced at the caller ID and found his boyfriend, Race’s, face staring back at him.

Not bothering to keep the tiredness out of his voice, he picked up, resting his chin on his hand, “Hey, what’s up.”

He immediately straightened up when what sounded like a coughing fit blared through the speakers, “Race?” he asked, his tone alarmed, “You okay?”

“Al,” Race’s raspy voice came through the speaker, “I’m dying.”

Albert resisted the urge to roll his eyes, “I doubt you’re dying, Racer, but do you need me to pick up some medicine for you? What hurts?”

“Everything.”

This time, Albert did roll his eyes at his boyfriend’s dramatics, “Want soup?”

There was a pause, then, “French onion?”

“Baby, you hate French onion soup,” Albert reasoned.

“Yeah, but my stomach is begging for it,” Race said.

“Are you going to eat it?” Albert asked, “because I’m not going to buy it if you’re not going to eat it.”

“I promise I’ll eat it,” Race pleaded, “Pretty please?”

“Alright, I’ll get you some french onion soup. Anything else?”

“Um,” He could envision Race scrunching his nose on the other side- something he always did when he was in thought, “Some apple juice maybe?”

“French onion soup and apple juice. Got it,” Albert said, tucking his phone between his ear and shoulder as he began to pack up his things, “I’ll be back within the hour, keep drinking fluids.”

“Thanks Alcatraz,” Race said, “I love you.”

“I’m only letting the fact that you called me fucking ‘Alcatraz’ go because you’re sick,” Albert said, hoisting his bag onto his back and slipping his laptop under his arm, “I love you, too, I’ll see you in a bit.”

“Kay, bye,” Race hung up and Albert pocketed his phone. He threw his many coffee cups into the trashcan on his way out of the library and made his way across the street to the campus convenient store.

He was able to find the apple juice easily and found several pre-packaged Panera soups not long after. At first it looked like they only offered broccoli cheddar and chicken noodle, but after some shifting around, he was able to find a singular cup of french onion. On his way to check out, he picked up some sudafed and theraflu for good measure, along with a couple disposable thermometers. The line to check out was annoyingly long, but within ten minutes, he was leaving the shop with a singular bag in hand. He put his hood up to combat the cold winds that had been blowing through campus in the past week and began his trek to the bus stop. The bus was already there when he approached and he jogged in order to make it on, briefly flashing his student card to the bus driver on his way to find a seat. The bus was abnormally crowded, but the journey to his apartment complex was fairly short, so Albert opted to stand. Upon arrival, the bus driver pulled up to the very front of the building, saving Albert from the prospect of having to walk through the snow that had begun to fall during the ride. He thanked the driver profusely and hurried inside, taking the elevator up to his and Race’s floor.

When he entered his apartment, it was obvious that something was off. All the lights were off and the shades were drawn. Race wasn’t at his usual place on the couch and it looked like he hadn’t gone to any of his classes considering his shoes were in the same position they had been when he left. Albert frowned, wracking his brain for any signs that Race had been sick that morning before he’d left. He had seemed fine, all things considered. But then again, Albert hadn’t really checked and Race had been half-asleep.

He kicked off his own shoes and shed his jacket, placing his backpack on a chair in the living room on his way to the kitchen, where he quickly heated up the soup and poured a tall glass of apple juice. He grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and crossed the hall to his and Race’s shared bedroom. He knocked lightly before entering and softened slightly when he took in his boyfriend, propped up on the pillows with his eyes closed.

“Hey,” he whispered and Race blinked open his eyes groggily, “I brought you the soup you wanted. How’re you feeling?”

Race reached out for the soup and Albert handed it to him, sitting on the edge of the bed as he did so. He placed a comforting hand on Race’s knee as he sipped the soup straight from the plastic cup, abandoning the spoon Albert had offered him.

“M’achey, and m’head hurts and my throat feels like someone took a fork to it and my tummy feels all weird and m’pretty sure I passed out earlier,” Race rambled, through a mouthful of onion, “But I’m fine, how are you?”

Albert hummed apologetically and motioned for Race to scoot over, then slipped under the blankets next to him. Race immediately curled into his side, “I’m sorry you got so sick, love.”

Race groaned, “Me too, it sucks. I wish I weren’t.”

“Here,” Albert said, opening a packet of the theraflu and handing Race a tablet, “Take one of these. That should help with some of the acheyness and the headache and throat ache and stuff.”

Race washed down the tablet with some apple juice, then fixed Albert with an apologetic look, “Hey, Al?”

Albert knew what was coming and bit back the urge to sigh, “You don’t want the soup, do you?”

Race shrugged sheepishly, “I do, but my tastebuds don’t.”

“That’s fine,” Albert said, taking the cup from him and putting it on the bedside table, “Finish your apple juice, though.”

Race wordlessly chugged the rest of the apple juice and handed the empty glass to Albert, who placed it next to the soup.

“M’tired,” Race declared, laying his head on Race’s chest.

“Wanna sleep?” Albert asked, subconsciously running a hand through Race’s curls. Race nodded and Albert pressed a kiss to his head.

“Alright, want me to stay?”

“I mean, yeah,” Race said, “We’re literally cuddling, would I kick you out?”

“Sometimes I don’t know with you,” Albert said, defensively, “But of course I’ll stay. Sleep now, we’ll take your temperature when you wake up. I love you.”

He could feel Race smiled against his shirt, “I love you, too.”

-

thanks for reading, chiefs

hmu to be added to my tag

TAG LIST:

@bencookisagod

@we-dont-sell-papes

@suddenly-im-respecsable

@aw-jus-let-em-try

@well-the-kids-do-too

@spot-conlon-king-of-brooklyn

@thatpoorguysheadisspinning

@labert-dasilver

@andthewoildwillknow

@the-newsies-justice-for-zas-blog

@sunshine-e-cigarettes

@have-we-got-news-for-you

@musical-shitposts

@thebroadwayaesthetic

@thomasbeingthomas

@irondad-spiderson-duo

@snakesarenonexistent

@i-got-no-clue-what-im-doing

@kpop-kk

#newsies #racetrack higgins #newsies fic #albert dasilva #ralbert #chaotic boys #sick fic #sorry

[champhangman]

Monumental Gravity - Part 1

Characters: Corey Graves x OFC

(shitty)Summary: I'd pick your thunder – I'd pick your rain – over anyone's sunshine any day.

Word Count:

Notes: There is an extreme lack of Corey fics. What's up with that? Anyway, here's my attempt to fill the void. Special thanks to @athoughtfulmindwrites for helping me with things and for assuring me that it's totally fine to abandon my other fics to work on something new.

More Notes: Those who read my other ongoing fic, Reckless, fear not! I’m not abandoning it! That fic will be updated later this week.

Tagging:  @llowkeys | @the-geekgoddes | @horcruxhunter5972 | @zombiexbody | @imtoldimbabe | @vebner37 |  @nickysmum1909 | @taryndibiase | @justtrey19 | @alexahood21 | @lunaticqueen7 | @thephenomenonalkingofthebrogues | @styl3sl0v3r | @kingslayers-angel | @womderland-fandom | @blondekel77 |  @lonewolfgirl17 | @florenceivy | @meghanannexx | @skrillexslays13 | @geekoftv | @athoughtfulmindwrites | @deanammbrose | @not-that-kinda-gurl08 | @lunaticfringe216 | @13reasonswhyiblog | @itsclaaree | @mainlywwe-shitposts | @fluffyzombiemia @spine-buster | @idle-vanity | @ladylokid | @wwewomendaily | 

Propping his feet on the corner of the announce table, Corey Graves was just unlocking his phone when it vibrated with a notification. He smiled upon seeing what it was, and was opening the app to read it fully and reply when his feet were shoved off the edge of the table. Catching himself, he sent a glare to the man who'd done it. "I hate that shit."

"Didn't your mom teach you any manners?" Baron Corbin scoffed, pulling one of the other chairs over to sit in.

"Says the man that thinks it's totally fine to piss in a sink," Corey muttered. Lifting his feet onto the table again, he turned his gaze back to his phone. He paid no attention to his friend's defensive mutterings, intent on making sure he read the message fully. Nodding to himself, he began to reply.

"Who are you looking forward to seeing later?" Baron asked, having leaned to see Corey's screen.

"Jesus, personal space, man," he groaned, pushing the man away.

"You're setting up dates through Twitter? Are you that fucking desperate?"

Corey groaned again and sent the message before looking to Baron. "First of all, it's not a date. And I'm not desperate."

"What is it then?"

"She tweeted me a few weeks ago that her son enjoyed my commentary and he tries to emulate me when he plays with his action figures." Corey smoothed the front of his shirt.

"Emulate?" Baron snorted and shook his head. Then, smiling, he nodded. "The kid could do much worse than you."

"I told her he could probably find someone a lot better, but yeah. And we interacted a little more, then I saw she lives near here and knew we'd be here for Smackdown—"

"So you, being the big softie you are, arranged for them to come to the show?"

"No, she already had tickets." Corey kept his gaze averted from Baron, because he'd been prepared to comp her and her son some tickets. "But the kid likes me—"

"Poor deranged little guy," Baron murmured sadly.

"Fuck you too. Anyway, I'm meeting them for a little bit before the show."

"Cool. Am I allowed to ask questions?"

Like the man had ever asked permission. In all the years they had been friends, nothing ever stopped Baron from asking questions. It was one of the things Corey valued about their friendship. There were, literally, no secrets. "Go ahead."

"How do you know it's really a woman?"

Corey rolled his eyes. "I'm not that stupid."

"But how do you? It's Twitter. It could be some five-hundred-pound dude with a plan to kidnap you." Baron leaned back in his chair and stretched his arms above his head.

"Why would a dude – don't fucking answer that," he muttered when he saw Baron's smirk.

"Have you seen a picture of her?"

"No," he answered after a moment. And he'd looked. Her profile picture on Twitter was a child's drawing of the sun. He'd followed a link to her Instagram, only to find it was set to private. The only photos she had posted on Twitter were random, sweet, funny, or weird things she wanted to share, the most recent being a plate of brownies she'd baked. It was a good thing, he supposed, that she was so private. But damned if it hadn't frustrated him when he'd gone looking. "She hasn't posted pictures of herself."

"Then it's definitely a dude," Baron decided. "How are you supposed to know it's her?"

"She just messaged me saying what her and her son are wearing.

"So you're just gonna go outside to meet this strange woman? That's luring you out with her kid?" Baron frowned. "When they find your mutilated corpse can I have your dog?"

"Would you fucking stop?" Corey scowled while checking the time. "And no, you can't have Bull."

"Come on, this is fun. I can already see the internet posts and news story about you missing without a trace." Baron was grinning now. "It'll be a sad, sad story with a wonderful lesson: Don't meet strangers from the internet."

"Why don't you come with me if you're so worried about my safety?"

"What, so I can get kidnapped too? Hell no." Despite that answer, his friend was nodding. "But if it'll make you feel better, I'll keep an eye on you from the door."

"My hero," Corey snorted.

***

Small feet encased in vivid pink Skechers hopped from one brick to the next. When they reached the end of the walkway, and a pair of brown cowboy boots, they danced briefly then began hopping in the other direction, until they met a pair of red Converse. After a moment of hesitation they moved to one side and continued their hopping, stopping only when they arrived at a pair of black leather boots.

"How many hops?" asked the owner of the boots.

"Um." The owner of the pink Skechers hesitated. "Eleventy four hundred!"

"Eleventy four hundred, huh? Are you sure?"

"Uh-huh." The pink Skechers turned and once again began to hop from brick to brick.

"Mom, there's no such number as eleventy."

"She's two, Clark. I think I can give her just a little leeway with numbers." Bette Spencer watched her daughter hop along the brick walkway. As she expected, Julia went directly for her grandfather, who was seated on the bench. Once she had climbed up to sit next to him, Bette relaxed and turned her attention to her son. "Besides, it wasn't that long ago that you told everyone the sun was made of mustard."

Clark's eyes widened with embarrassment. "Mom! I was six."

"Oh, right, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me for reminding you of your misguided youth." Rolling her eyes playfully, Bette lifted her to-go cup of coffee for a sip.

"What time is it?"

She decided against sighing and pointing out that Clark had a watch, a cell phone, and had asked the time only two minutes before. Nudging the sleeve of her sweater up so she could see her watch, she blinked with surprise. Five minutes had passed since Clark had last asked the time. "Four ten," she answered, giving her son a smile. "Are you nervous?"

"A little," he admitted. Then, after making sure that Julia was still with their grandfather, he nodded. "What if he's a jerk?"

"I don't think a man that's offered to take time out of his busy schedule to meet you for a little bit could be a jerk," she promised, even though she had her own worries. What if he didn't show? What if he was standing backstage laughing with coworkers about gullible women? Perhaps she shouldn't have told Clark about the planned meeting. It would have been better to surprise him, if Corey Graves did show up. She could have kept quiet about Corey offering to meet him before Smackdown. It was already a pretty big deal in her son's world, getting out of school early to make the two hour drive to see a wrestling show. She would have come early even if Corey hadn't messaged her about meeting up, because she hated rush hour traffic in the city and had learned on their earlier trips that it was much nicer to arrive a few hours early. Better to have time for a bite to eat and a little bit of touristy action to blow off some of the steam of excitement. Especially with a two year old in tow…

Maybe bringing Julia had been a mistake. She was still a baby, for crying out loud. It would probably be too loud for her little ears. Or there would be some drunken jerk right behind them that would scream obscenities and scare her. Or she would fall asleep halfway during the show, as she was apt to do at home. Or…

Or maybe she was just worrying too much.

"He said four thirty, right?" Clark didn't look bothered by the fact he'd broken into her thoughts. Of course he probably didn't know. His hand reached up to smooth his hair, then fell to his lap.

Her sweet, worrying little boy. Like mother, like son, she supposed. She would have kissed him if she hadn't thought he would cringe at the public display of affection. Instead, she took another sip of her coffee before answering. "He did. We'll head around in a couple of minutes, okay?"

"Wouldn't it be great if he got us inside and we could see the announce table and the ring and maybe meet some of the wrestlers?" Clark blurted. "I mean, what if I could meet Kevin Owens?"

Knowing her son, he'd probably soil himself. Bette knew better than to say that, though. Smiling, she said nothing to discourage his imagination. An imagination was good, especially when so many people wanted him to face the cold, hard reality of life at his young age. So even though she was pretty sure he would only meet with his favorite commentator for probably only ten or fifteen minutes, she said, "You never know."

"Mama! Mama!" Julia's voice filled the early autumn air. Bette heard her voice and approaching footsteps before she focused on the blue-and-green blur that was her daughter. She lurched to a stop, wobbling long enough to make her mother worry she would fall, then surged forward to the bench Bette and Clark shared. "Papa's hat!"

"What have I told you about stealing your Papa's hat? Do you want his bald spot to burn?" Bette sighed, nudging the brim of the Boston Bruins cap back so she could see her daughter's face. Then she groaned. "Julia Rose Spencer! You haven't had a thing to eat in the past hour, how did your face get so dirty?"

"I'unno," Julia answered, shrugging her shoulders elaborately. When her mother reached into her purse and pulled out a packet of wipes, the girl's green eyes widened. "No, mama!"

"Yes, mama," Bette corrected, opening the packet and getting a wipe. "You can't go around in public with a dirty face. I don't mind if you go around in clothes that don't match, or when you insist on having your hair in three ponytails with ribbons in them, or even when you want to wear winter boots in the middle of July. But I'll be darned if I'm letting my child skip around with a face so nasty I could grow pumpkins on it."

She worked to clear the small face while she spoke, ignoring the sighs of complaint and squirms to get away. Julia wrinkled her nose in disgust when Bette brought the wipe to her chin.

"There," Bette announced, tossing the used wipe into the trashcan next to the bench. "Now take Papa his hat, and let's get moving."

Next to her, Clark hopped to his feet. "It's time to go around back already?"

"It will be by the time Her Royal Slowness gets to your Papa." Bette stood and finished the rest of her coffee before throwing it away. Smoothing the front of her sweater, she waited until Julia was further along the walkway before heading after her. The late afternoon sun was warm, making her sweater too warm to have on, but she knew that by the time the show ended and they left the arena it would be chilly. Julia had discarded her jacket; it was stuffed into Bette's purse. Clark was still wearing his Seth Rollins hoodie, which had come in the mail the day before, and Bette had a feeling it would take an act of Congress to get him to take it off.

When she reached the bench her father was on, he was adjusting his cap. He stood, one hand instantly reaching to grab Julia before she could skip off. He transferred her to Bette, then nodded in the direction of the sports bar they'd passed on the way in. "I'll be over there if you need me."

"I'm sure we'll be fine." Grateful he hadn't asked a million questions, she pressed a kiss to his cheek. "I'll text you when we're done."

"Wait a minute, I don't think my phone's on…"

***

She was late. Corey glanced to the handful of fans standing at the barricade. No sign of a woman wearing a green sweater, or a little boy wearing a Kevin Owens shirt and a Seth Rollins hoodie. He decided to give her a few more minutes, allowing for traffic and knowing that kids always had to use the restroom at the most inconvenient time.

"How long are you gonna wait?" Baron asked.

"A few minutes." He reached for his phone to check if she'd sent another message. "She could have gotten—"

"What's she supposed to be wearing?"

"A green sweater and black pants I think she said. The kid's wearing an Owens shirt and a Rollins hoodie." Head lowered to look at his phone, he grunted when Baron's elbow jammed into his arm. "What the—"

"What color is her hair?"

"I have no idea, why?"

"Because I think I see them. But she's got two kids."

Corey jerked his head up. His gaze landed on the figure of a woman standing a bit away from the other fans. A small child was on her hip and, next to her, a little boy. He squinted, saw that they matched the description she'd given him, and motioned to the nearby security guard. "That's them. Her last name is Spencer."

"You're bringing them inside?" Baron's voice was incredulous.

"I'm not dragging them into the locker room," he snorted, watching as the guard crossed to the barricade. "I just figured the kid would like to get a quick tour."

"Did you—"

"I cleared it with Hunter," Corey promised. "They can't be backstage for longer than it takes to get out to the ring, and he said to keep it under an hour."

"You're really sticking your neck out for a chick you met on the internet," his friend murmured. "Did she promise you a repayment?"

"Don't be vulgar."

"You're the king of vulgar, though."

"Well, yeah," Corey admitted begrudgingly. "I'm just being nice for a kid. What's the crime in that?"

"Nothing," Baron promised. "Nothing at all. It's just the mom's hot."

Corey rolled his eyes, turning to see the guard was coming back. Ms. Spencer was with him, and as they approached he saw the child on her hip was a girl. The boy – Clark, wasn't it? – was starting to smile, and when his eyes moved to Baron his lips parted in shock.

She was attractive, he conceded. Not of the drop-dead-gorgeous variety, but he knew she would get more than a few second looks in public. There was confidence in her step, and her lips were upturned in a soft smile. Her hair was dark, waves bouncing against her shoulders with each step. And when she turned slightly to reach for her son's hand, he suddenly understood what dangerous curves were.

"Told you," Baron muttered, pushing away from the wall and pasting a smile on his face.

There was the blur of introductions. The little girl was Julia, the boy was Clark. There was disbelief from Clark when Corey invited them in to see the arena and the commentary table. There was the curious, almost pensive expression on Julia's cherubic face that remained even as he escorted them through the backstage area.

"Oh my god," Clark breathed when they bypassed Gorilla and went through the side curtain.

He couldn't have timed it better if he'd tried. The techs were going through a light sequence, filling the arena with blue and white spotlights. The huge LCD screens and panels swirled with color. Corey rubbed his hands together, then guided the boy to the edge of the stage. "You gotta walk down the ramp, you know."

"I do?"

"Of course. Even commentators walk down the ramp." Corey lifted him onto the stage, then looked to the little girl. "Would you like to walk the ramp, too?"

Julia's lips puckered in thought. She looked from him to her brother to the stage and then back again. Finally, with a nod, she reached for him.

"Don't run," their mother warned once Julia was standing next to her brother.

"Aw, man," Clark sighed. He turned to see the LCD panels, then circled back to face the ring. Just as he took a step forward to get to the ramp, the panels came to life with vivid red, and Kevin Owens' music began to play. Immediately the boy's face lit up.

"Owens is his favorite," the woman at Corey's side explained.

"Then he's about to have the best moment of his day," Corey told her, leaning in so she could hear him above the music. She turned her head so he could see the confusion on her face. He caught the aroma of her shampoo. And realized how green her eyes were. "Kevin's coming out," he said, motioning to the stage.

They both turned to look just as Kevin stepped out onto the stage. At the sight of Julia and Clark he stopped, and Corey motioned to him and gave him a quick thumbs up. The man nodded, moving forward to stand behind the kids, then leaned to speak in Clark's ear. Corey didn't catch what he said, but judging by the grin on the boy's face it was something great.

Julia didn't seem half as interested, already skipping down the ramp. Kevin walked with Clark, whose mouth was moving rapidly. Corey reached for Ms. Spencer's arm to guide her around the lights set up along the edge of the ramp. The music blessedly ended once they all reached the ring, and he was able to introduce the three to Kevin.

Tom and Byron were at the announce table, going over notes for the upcoming show. When Corey walked over with Clark, both men glanced up and looked to him curiously. He made more introductions, explained that Clark would be the hottest commentator in the company in about twenty years, then motioned for the boy to take his chair while they showed them how they did their job. Opening his mouth to answer Clark's question about watching the monitor instead of the action in the ring, he lifted an eyebrow when Tom began to speak.

"We need to call the action that's shown on TV, so—"

Clark turned to look at Corey. "Can I say it? Please?"

Corey began to grin. "Go for it."

"Shut up, Tom!"

Kevin joined in the laughter. The next thing Corey knew, Clark was being taken to the ring for an up-close tour. Tom and Byron wandered off with promises of seeing him in a little while. Corey looked to Ms. Spencer and turned Tom's seat toward her.

"Is it always this hectic before a show?" she asked, taking the seat and tugging Julia away from a coil of cable.

"Sometimes it's worse. The calm hits a few minutes before the doors open." Corey turned his seat to face her, surprised when Julia leaned against his leg and stared up at him. "What do you need, sweetheart?"

"Tat," she announced, pointing to his neck.

He reached up to touch the front of his throat. "This one?"

She nodded excitedly. "C'I see?"

"Sure." Further surprised when she crawled into his lap, he grunted as her knee banged dangerously close to his crotch, reaching to steady her with one arm. He tilted his head back so she could get a good look at the tattoo. "You like tattoos, huh?"

"She's obsessed with them," her mother explained with a rueful smile.

"I can tell. Not a problem," Corey said, chuckling as Julia traced the skull on his throat. Letting his head move back to its usual position when she turned her attention to the ink covering his forearm, he smiled at her mother so she would know it really wasn't a problem. "I prefer kids who want to look at them instead of screaming over how hideous they are, Ms. Spencer."

"It's Bette. And she's been examining tattoos since before she could walk. Neither she or her brother have ever been scared of them. Probably because I have so many."

He looked from the girl in his lap to the woman next to him. Demure, level-headed, brownie-baking Bette had ink? His gaze quickly roved over her figure. No tattoos were visible with the leggings and loose sweater she wore. Of course, neither was much skin. "You do?" he asked, turning his arm so Julia could see the rest of the tattoo she was tracing. "Where?"

"All over," she answered. "Half-sleeve on my right arm, big piece on my left hip and thigh, both ankles, shoulders, left forearm… And of course the totally tacky college girl tramp stamp."

He lifted an eyebrow. "What are they of?"

"Good grief, it'll be easier to show you than to explain them all," Bette laughed.

Corey briefly wondered if she was going to start stripping, and was almost – almost – disappointed when she plucked her phone out of her purse. She leaned close and he glimpsed a photo of her kids as the wallpaper before she brought up her pictures.

"This is my hip piece," she said, angling the phone so he could see better. "It was right after it was finished, so ignore the redness and the sheet. I got irises because they're my favorite flower."

He pressed his lips together while looking at the picture. Vivid purple and white irises were arranged in a collage on her hip, extending to almost mid-thigh and up to her lowermost rib. The background was soft and perfectly shaded. He let his gaze settle on curve of her backside, which was visible despite the sheet, and suddenly felt uncomfortably warm. "That's great," he enthused. "Who did it?"

"Nick at Werther's. He's done all my tats." She swiped to the next photo. "My half-sleeve after the last bit was added."

It was a mishmash of small tattoos. Though they were all different, they meshed well. A Christmas tree, a brilliant gold star, a red and black dragon wearing a diamond tiara, a fleur-de-lis. Tiny butterflies and blood-red roses were interspersed between all of them. "What's behind it?"

She exhaled softly and told him, pointing to each individual piece. Christmas was her all-time favorite holiday, although Halloween was a very close second. The star was for Clark, who she always called her shining star. The dragon was for Julia, her little dragon princess. The fleur-de-lis was a nod to her French roots. "There are twenty-two butterflies, which is how old I was when Clarke was born. And twenty-nine roses, for how old I was when Julia was born. They were the last ones added to it, and we split them up over three visits."

He nodded, impressed. Opening his mouth to praise the work, he instead closed it as she swiped the screen to bring up the next picture. "Your shoulder?" he guessed, glancing at her before turning his attention to the picture. "That's insanely good."

A skull, thorny vines crisscrossing and growing into its mouth, stared back at him with blooming red roses. Bette zoomed in so he could see the detail, and he saw the smile on her face. "It's probably my favorite," she murmured. "It was my first one."

"Not the tramp stamp?" he teased.

She groaned. "That doesn't count because I was… Okay I wasn't drunk but I was on my way to being drunk."

"I gotta see it, you know."

"Let's save the worst for last," she insisted, swiping to the next photo. "Left shoulder. For my mom."

He nodded, admiring the detail of the wings spreading out from a heart. Across the heart was a banner, the name Joan filling it in a looping script. Next was an infinity symbol with her son's name and birthdate on the inside of her right ankle, then a matching one for her daughter on the left ankle. Then a dreamcatcher on her left forearm.

"And that's it," she said, beginning to shift away.

"Oh-ho, nice try," he laughed. He slipped her phone from her grasp. Ignoring her shocked noise, he swiped to the next photo. And immediately pressed the phone to his chest to shield it from Julia's eyes. Not that the girl seemed to care. She'd slipped out of his lap and was digging through her mother's purse.

"I told you it was terrible," Bette muttered, reaching for the phone. He waved her hand away though.

"You could have warned me the picture showed your—" he cut off, glancing at the little girl, and cleared his throat. "Your rear end."

"Don't be such a prude. There's barely any butt cleavage," she defended.

"Still," he grunted, tilting the phone away from his chest and looking down at the screen. The purple butterfly was dead center on the small of her back. Shaded swirls of turquoise and lavender extended beyond the wings, the tips of the swirls nearly reaching her hip dimples.

Hip dimples. He bit the inside of his bottom lip, not liking how easy it was to imagine his thumbs on those dents while he—

"Gum!" Julia squealed. She straightened, holding a pack of mint gum victoriously. "Please?"

"Ask Mr. Graves if he'd like some," Bette said.

"Mis'er G'aves?"

Corey dragged his attention from the photo on the screen and the inadvertent imaginings it had produced to find the girl extending the pack of gum into his direction. "What is it, sweetheart?"

"Gum."

"Gum would be perfect right about now." He took one last glance at the butterfly tattoo and handed the phone back to Bette, smiling as Julia carefully extracted a stick of gum and placed it in his palm. "Thanks so much. It's just what I needed. Can't go around with stinky breath, can I?"

She giggled, popping a piece of gum into her mouth. "Nope!"

"Geez, Julia, you're supposed to say his breath doesn't stink," Bette groaned.

Julia's brow furrowed, and she leaned close to Corey. Breathing in deeply, she shrugged. "I'unno."

"It's fine," Corey promised Bette when she groaned again. "I've been known to have some rough breath before."

"But it doesn't smell—" she cut off and glanced to the ring, where Clark was standing on the middle turnbuckle. Lifting her phone, she began to take photos. "Thanks so much for doing this. When you suggested we meet before the show, I didn't know you would go to so much trouble."

"It's no trouble at all," he assured her, smoothing the gum wrapper between his fingers. "He seems like a great kid. Julia too," he added when the girl shot him a look. "I just don't understand how a boy can be more interested in commentary than the actual wrestling."

"He's not very physical. If I'm honest, he's a little bit of a klutz. Plus he had a few speech problems when he was first starting to talk. Delayed speech mainly, but also some phonetic difficulties. Playing with his action figures helped, and he began to repeat what the commentators said. That helped him even more. Then he discovered NXT a few years ago, and you. And well, that was that. You became his favorite. When I told him you'd be doing commentary on both Raw and Smackdown I thought his head was going to burst."

Touched, Corey pressed his lips together to keep a silly grin from forming. Watching as Kevin helped Clark down, he felt his breath catch in his throat when the boy slid from the ring and jogged straight towards him. He was startled at the feel of a pair of small arms wrap around him in a tight hug.

"Thank you so much, Corey," Clark said.

The words pulled directly on Corey's heartstrings. Returning the embrace, he cleared his throat. "Anytime, Clark. Anytime."

#corey graves #wwe #corey graves imagine #wwe imagine #multipart:MG #corey graves fanfiction #wwe fanfiction #OH GOD PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT ME TO CONTINUE THIS #because new story worries

[happyk44]

YFIP: Ollie, Part 8

@spacejasontodd, did u think i was done

doesn’t think i have a sense of humor

does not respect me??

VERY RUDE

thinks i’m the rude one (um??? how, ollie, i am so nice and lovely and kind)

tries to insult me but i think so lowly of myself that it don’t fricking work, bro. also i don’t care about being insulted bc life is nothing and words are stupid

wanted to block me once (rude)

“Jay I love you you fucker”

doesn’t want me to be their positive male role model

called me a “cold-hearted fucker” for no reason

well, excuse me, ollie but where are my call-out posts, bro?? ya got none bc im perfect

tried to break into their own house

forgot to tell me we were dating

always tired but still debates the worthwhile-ness of going to sleep

wanted to make a new friend and their immediate thought was “let me tell this person that i can talk to them about jason todd” when they responded (ollie, you have a fucking problem, okay?)

didn’t??? even invite me to our wedding??? (i am so annoyed 300%, i can’t believe i married you for this kind of treatment ollie)

married me for my smorts and not my overwhelming beauty and love for sad boys in cartoons

wants to bring a dead cahow to my funeral for some dumbass reason

terrible eating habits

has never seen a rooster in real life before (i feel like this is a massive lie, bc how the fuck do you not have chickens all around u???)

won’t read my voltron smut but will send me smutty voltron fanart (hypocrite, ollie)

still spamming the fuck outta my dash to the point where there was a shitload of malfunctioning and some posts didn’t show but??? i couldn’t notice for a long time BC IM TOO USED TO THEIR SPAM, OLLIE JUST REBLOG AND LIKE THINGS IN A PATTERNED FASHION??

randomly told me that they saw a dead cat and provided no context or explanation for two whole hours

has smoked 1 weed apparently

has a very weird school system that constantly confuses the heck out of me

didn’t approve of my renaming amnesiac!jason “todd” even though my reasons were solid

refused to give jason 50 latin last names as per the expected stereotype

interrupted me in the middle of my thought bc they’re impatient and don’t listen

a fool

easily offended

thinks of nicer endings to angsty things (ollie, everyone must die and if everyone don’t, at the very least, bruce gotta)

wouldn’t chop off their hair even tho they want shorter hair

“Ah Slade. That fucker. I'd chop his balls off and present them to you as a trophy”

26 messages in a fifteen minute timeframe to yell well wishes at me for my birthday

wants me to watch under the red hood (no)

reblogged a shitload of Rise of the Guardians related posts for two days and I have no idea why but I’m afraid to ask

wants happy endings to angsty fics (which no, ollie. cry instead)

drank weed tea (or so they claim)

always going places and never inviting me

somehow got me to make three jason todd shitposts in a row, even though my feelings about the man literally haven't changed (how?)

has a username that references shiro from voltron but stuck lance in as their mobile header and icon

me for the billionth time in a row: i want damian to kill bruce for realsies and not care ollie: that's cruel

sent me jason's ending ot some video game but not damian's, which i couldn't even take seriously because jason sounded like an edgier version of deadpool and was 20x more dramatic that he should ever be and i kept laughing

sends me 1 thing and whenever i question it, they promptly vanish for ten years

#happy's call out posts #ollie #death mention #accumulated over the last three months #:D :D #but seriously that rotg spam confused th eheck out of me

[crowleywife]

HEY HEY HEY ITS SHITPOST TIME

OOOOOOOO IM FUCKING ANGRY!!!! HAHAHAHHA!!! So let me give you the low down! There was this boy(it always starts with a boy...), and this FUCKER plays with my heart like nobody's business. We talk EVERY day of the winter break, sometimes till 5 in the god damn morning. We talk deep shit, and we talk sexual shit. Personal experiences with sex, kinks, and things we'd like to do to each other!!! 😱 so I'm like, "shit! I got me a boy! Hot damn!" And he even comes over and we kiss, make out, grope, cuddle, and do other things. I've got this one in the bag, right? I got me a boy? Nope. Wrong. He then texts me later like "I'm sorry, but I only see u as a friend. I was going past my own limits last night" Excuse me???? Ok. I cry my heart out then at the end of that same day I muster the courage to contact him again and he and I are cool, we make up, but I'm still hella sad. But he says "maybe I'll take you on a date sometime." And I'm so confused at this point. And he's told me soooooo many times "I'm not really interested in a relationship right now, but maybe someday." Like bitch stahp. I ain't got time for this... THEN, as if it couldn't get fucking worse, we made plans for him to come over again so we could watch anime because I don't really watch any. Cool cool, it's whatever. I'm not really expecting too much this time, but in our texting it's gotten mildly sexual again so I'm not sure what to expect. The night before, I'm texting him like "hey if you can't make it tomorrow because of the weather we can always reschedule." And he's like "nah, I'll be driving back in town anyway and I can make it." So I'm like, "yayyyyy! See u then!" And he said some bull like "yeah but your enthusiasm is weak so maybe I won't" Ok, what? I ignore that weird one, and I'm like "nooooo I want to see you!! If you can make it please come!" But then we say goodnight cuz it's like 3 in the fucking morning. So then today, I clean, and I work my ass off preparing for him to come over, and I spend a good hour and a half on my makeup. Then at like 30 minutes past when I expected him I'm messaging him desperately and asking if he's coming. He says "not today" Bitch whaaaaattt. He's like "I said I wasn't coming" and I'm like "I thought you were joking. I asked you again earlier today and you said nothing about not coming. Would've been nice to know hours ago.... thanks. So anyway I'm done with this trifling hoe, and tomorrow I'm asking out this dude from my Korean church. If he says no I really don't give a damn. It's whatever. Boys are stupid. Fuck everything. FML.

#personal rant #im angry #bitchmode #pettyaf #i'm out #bye felicia #Eunhye days

[theworstbob]

the thing journal, 2.26-3.4

as a) part of an effort to get me to be a more consistent writer, but also b) to get me to stop watching so much fucking mario maker-related content b.1) and also maybe stop listening to the same fucking playlist on shuffle when i ride the bus home, i have a new goal where i try to watch/hear/play seven new things a week and write at least a little bit about what i’ve done. try to get into a routine where i spend x amount of time with a thing, x amount of time writing, and maybe not looking on youtube for new dudes playing mario maker, y’know? it’s like, i love movies. before last week, i had seen three films that had been released since the start of 2016. so i guess c) be a better fucking citizen of the world. i might move this to medium or facebook, i might move all the non-shitpost stuff to medium at some point honestly, why do i have three different blogs, but we’re doin’ this here for now.

1) Sausage Party: this film is insultingly stupid. i already yelled at it, but ye gods. there is a moment in the film where, when the antagonist makes an unexpected arrival, one of the characters said, “Oh, fuck!” and if in any other movie, this might have been a nice moment, a character reacting to something unexpected by blurting out what one would blurt out on such an occasion, but in this movie, it felt like they just didn’t bother coming up with an actual joke.

2) Zootopia: i did a double-feature with sausage party and this, which is a very weird thing to have done that also might have impacted my opinion, but man, after slogging through Sausage Party, it was such a breath of fresh air to watch a film people put effort into making. even after divorcing it from that context, though, it is still handily the best buddy-cop movie about a bunny rabbit and a fox taking on racism that i’ve ever seen. it’s adorable. i’m not gonna put it in the pantheon of animated classics, not when there’s an extended monologue about how bad racism is from... shakira? for some reason?, but i do have to own up to the fact that, hey, maybe this movie wasn’t meant for my pantheon! i think this film set its ceiling at “the emperor’s new groove for budding social justice warriors,” but there are films with less noble aims, and this is totally a budding social justice warrior’s favorite film right now! and that’s really dope, that they have a movie! that sounds backhanded. i honestly loved this film. like, i saw emperor’s new groove when i was 11, and if there’s kids out there who’re gonna spend the next 16 years thinking about and loving this movie, the world’s gonna be in good hands. (also: the nudist colony scene. gold.)

3) Sing Street: this is for all the people that wished Freaks & Geeks had done a musical episode. this movie has so many things that i like. soaring musical numbers! lovable side characters! almost no plot! unbearable sadness! realistic teen drama! accurate depiction of a lower-class family! this isn’t a perfect movie. i think the central love story is brilliantly done, and they really nail the family stuff, but they stop giving everyone else in the band things to do after the characters’ introductions, and they didn’t set up the bully or the priest well enough as antagonists for their respective comeuppances to have any payoff. (everything at the school feels just a tad undercooked. like they had this epic love tale they wanted to tell, but then were like, “Ah, shite, can’t have 15-year-olds bugger off from school all the time, can we?” like at least let us know how the rest of the band feels about their lead singer and lyricist taking off for london all a sudden!) but man, when this film gets in its groove, it /waits a million millennia for it/ sings

4) Mad Love, JoJo: so the opening track, “Music,” is maybe one of my favorite opening tracks of the music year 2016. I don’t think I like this album half as much without it. On its face, it’s kinda cheeseball, just a girl ‘n a piano singin’ ‘bout how much she loves music. It’s a risky move, but she sells the hell out of the song, and because that track is so successful, each subsequent track is imbued with an undeniable joy, because you know, at the core of each song, there’s just a young woman doing the thing she loves the most. It lends each song a certain authenticity, like there’s no ‘tude being copped (or whatever kids these days say), this is JoJo’s music. I had a real good bus ride with this one. (And not for nothing, after miring myself in the Yellin’ at Songs project, I’m grateful for a pop singer who acknowledges that sex is a fun thing to have, and is direct about her desire to enjoy a sexual encounter. "Edibles” would be amazing even if I hadn’t endured multiple selections from the 50 Shades of Grey soundtrack, but as this is the case, got DAMN do I appreciate “Edibles.”)

5) The Big Short: the narration in this movie is so phenomenal. like, they establish from the jump that the narrator is a jerk (“i didn’t hang out with those nerds. i was cool.” or whatever he actually says), so when he starts saying, “Look, some of these terms are gonna go right over your heads, so here’s a hottie in a bubble bath to help you dum dums out for a second,” it’s in character. i absolutely loved that. (also, i, um, i did need to hear the explanation of the terms used in this film. “don’t you work with mortgages?” i don’t know what they do, i only know how to look at them.) i also really loved the scene where the narrator is trying to get steve carell to make the bet, and he has this jenga set up to explain what’s happening with the bonds, and he takes a jenga piece out, but before he throws it away, he asks his assistant to point out where the garbage can was so he didn’t miss. that’s a nice touch. (adam mckay’s good at comedy! weird, right!) also i loved that the hedge fund dudes from boulder moved to new york and had a table which tilted. that’s such a good prop, like these dudes have $30m but they’re still living with a table that tilts, which establishes both that they’re small fish and that they’re also not quite sure what they’re doing. such a solid film.

6) Telefone, Noname: so real talk i didn’t give this the closest listen in the world. my phone lost connection in the middle of track four, and a drunk man had to give me life advice during track nine. maybe it’s not the best idea to try to listen to album with a semi-open critical mind while bussing, but i still really dug this album and would not mind giving it a second, deeper listen, because it deserves multiple spins. i’m really stoked to see what this woman can do on a full-length album, there was a lot to love in what i was able to pay full attention to.

7) It Follows: Y’all. Y’all. This film. THIS GODDAMN FILM, Y’ALL. After the first scene, which ends with a girl disconnected from the main plot dismembered on a beach, I was ready to tout the charms of YA Hannibal, but the deeper I got, the more I understood the disservice such a comparison would do to this film. This is its own gorgeous, brilliant thing. The way it steeps itself in silence is so, ugh, I wish that the central concept didn’t require dialogue to explain, because this would’ve been such a cool silent film. Like. When I think about movies, I try not to think about the acting too much because I know I’m not gonna have any interesting observations about it, but the performances here are just off-the-charts. Just the way the nebbish nerdy boy looks every time he thinks about offering help and what that would mean for his future and his friendships, or the sheer desperation in the main girl’s eyes every time the It gets kind of close, it’s just, I don’t know how to describe it, it’s a film executed superbly, almost masterfully. I keep thinking about the scene where the main girl looks out over the lake at the bro-party boat, and she’s taking off her clothes to go swimming, but her face is somehow blank and terrified at the same time, and her motions are so tentative and rigid, it’s, THIS FILM. IT’S. The thematic content alone! Gosh, I just, I need to find all the pieces people wrote about this film in 2014 when they were excited about it and just dig in, there’s so much to analyze and discuss about the things this film is saying about sex, about gender, about rape culture, about victim-blaming, about abuse, about SO MUCH. This might be my second-favorite horror movie of all time. (No Country for Old Men is a horror movie, don’t @ me.) It’s just so unbelievably good.

8) The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild: This might count toward the Seven Things list next week, seeing as I’m only like six hours deep into this game, but simply moving from Point A to Point B is more fun and creative than half the games I’ve ever played. Honestly, if all I ever do with this game is treat it as Parkour Simulator 2017, I’ma be happy with my purchase. The Wind Waker was heretofore my favorite Zelda, but with every single step I take in this world, I get angrier that The Wind Waker put you on a boat and then... you sailed? You had a jump button on the boat, but that was basically all you did, was point your boat at where the game told you to go, put down the controller, and made a sandwich while you reached your destination. But I shouldn’t come to this space to bury other games, I should rejoice in what we have, and Breath of the Wild is my favorite game since Undertale. I love this game, and I can’t wait to find the first dungeon!