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ratcatcher0325 · 2 years

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Nobody’s Fool (Cowboy One Shot Part #2)

Howdy, again! So, this is longer than I planned so, sorry, there will be a Part #3 coming soon! Thanks @narrans for telling me that July 23rd is National Day of the Cowboy!!! 🥳🤠🐎

I just had to write a dumb little cowboy themed story for our dumb little cowboy!

Will Penn tame the wild beast and become one with the American West? Probably not. But who knows??

CW: Adult Language

Tag list: @gatlily; @grbene; @patrocolus3; @lucentbliss; @beautifulunknowntrash; @titan-god-420; @andraimeide; @themarlo; @cup-o-chai; @raccoontoaster @tolsizedlove @not-a-space-alien, @angelic-mini, @thegodmother007; @sizechaun; @bittykimmy13; @marydublin5; @littlescaryinternetguy; @jae-from-discord; @narrans; @becca-but-bitty; @secretly-small

Please reach out if you’d like to be added to the tag list!

Read all of Nobody’s Fool HERE.

Previous: Part #1 Next: Part #3

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NOBODY’S FOOL

Cowboy Day One Shot Part #2: Ride a...

Word Count: 2,711 Read Time: Approx. 20 mins

[Penn’s POV]

The sun was still winking through the tops of the trees as the van’s tires tumbled and ground the gravel beneath them to dust. I was profoundly sleepy, my hair a bed-headed mess of curls. Left to my own devices, I was not, nor would I ever be, a morning person. I was balled up in the fetal position, my arms tucked under my head, as I lay in the middle of Eveline’s hand. I could tell she was still nervous about this whole thing by the way she kept kneading the muscles of my back and shoulders like I was some sort of stress ball. I didn’t mind it, I loved when she stroked and massaged me. But I wished she wasn’t so worked up about our upcoming adventure. I, for one, was overcome with glee at the idea.

As we bounced along, I reached out and traced the lines in her hand and fingers that I could reach from here, before rolling over onto my back, and staring up at her.

“Hey Ev?” She looked down at me, she’d been staring out the window and biting her nails, another nervous habit of hers. When our eyes met she softened just a little.

“Yes, sweetheart?” She laid her index over my chest and down the length of my body.

I hugged it tight, kissing her fingertip. “Everything’s gonna be alright! I’m not worried! You shouldn’t be either. Relax, love! This is supposed to be fun!” She gave me a soft pained smile, rubbing my chest in almost a dismissive way as she propped her elbow on the lip of the door and stared out the window.

Well, I wasn’t just going to give up that easily! I was going to make her feel better, dammit! Even if it was the last thing I did! Sitting up in her hand, I crawled to her wrist and then started scaling her forearm. The ride was awfully bumpy, and I had to cling to the fabric of her long sleeves to keep my balance. I made it to the crook of her elbow without her paying me much mind, but then I started to climb up, toward her shoulder, which was a little under twice as tall as me with outstretched fingers and toes. That’s when she chuckled, bewildered.

“Excuse me, sir, I’m not a jungle gym, what’re you doing?” Her fingers descended to pluck me off, that only motivated me to climb faster.

“Just wait!” I was starting to get a bit winded at this point, this would’ve been hard under normal circumstances but inside a moving car navigating country roads? That was another kind of obstacle course entirely!

Still managing to hang on, I somehow got to her shoulder. Snatching for the collar of her worn out flannel shirt, I tried to start gathering my legs beneath me, to stand. I straddled her shoulder and the dip of her collarbone. She stayed as still as she could manage, which helped some. Using gravity in my favor, I gripped the corner of her collar, and leaned back, letting my feet press into her. I was able to shuffle about an inch or so towards her chin. But, then, while I was in the process of hooking the toe of my boot into the edge of her pocket as a foothold, we hit a particularly nasty bump and I lost my footing. Still clinging to her collar, my left leg swung wildly as I fought to get it underneath me again.

Eveline immediately winced, her hands flying up to save the day, “Sweetheart, come here, you’re gonna hurt yourself…”

“No, no, no. I’ve got this…” as I spoke, I righted myself. Now clinging like a mountain climber, I leaned back, my weight in my heels. I beamed up at her, “Now, you come here…” I reached out with a hand and coaxed her chin down. Then, when she was right where I wanted her, I pushed off with the foot hooked inside her pocket and lifted myself up to sink my lips into hers.

We were locked in a long, luxurious kiss. I was surrounded by warm, soft flesh: pure heaven for me. That’s when Travis clearing his throat rang in my ears as the tires ground to a stop.

“Hey, lovebirds, we’re here.”

We pulled away from each other, she cupped a hand around me and plucked me off of her shirt, gently rubbing me with a thumb over my torso. I was happy to let her hold me after all the muscular effort of that shaky climb.

We exited the van, greeting the misty morning with its dew-kissed earth and the already hot, early sun. “I can’t believe you talked me into letting you do this….” She shook her head before tucking me into her front breast pocket. I didn’t even have a witty comeback, my mind was a bit preoccupied. Instead, I leaned back against the wall of her chest and simply craned my neck to beam up at her while she took steps towards the barn. God, she’s beautiful when she’s judging me.

As we approached the stable, I was hit by a very strange, very particular smell that I’d never experienced before. It was musty, sharp, and almost sort of sweet? I would later be told this was a run-of-the-mill barnyard smell. With each step she took, I was that much closer to becoming a real cowboy. I shivered with excitement. This structure was dusty, looming with its massive beams of wood and cracked concrete floor that echoed with the clicks of my companions’ shoes as they completed each stride. It was warm and airy in here, with the newly rising sun shining golden beams of dawn, in from the rafters. It was rustic. It was beautiful just as much as it was filthy. I loved it already.

But as we stepped into the space and the footsteps were made audible on the echoey floor, that’s when I heard a whinny and the crunch of hay underfoot, as a long, speckled gray face with whiskered nostrils and big beautiful eyes appeared in the first stall to our right.

Travis trotted merrily over, Eveline followed in his wake a bit more cautiously. For my own part, I was leaning out as far as I possibly could, craning my neck to get a look at the biggest living thing I’d ever seen.

Travis stood before the metal bars, slipping his hand between them, he cupped it and allowed the horse to sniff him. He then lifted his hand up to scratch the length of its face. “Penn, meet Star. She’s an old gal, but she’s still got plenty of get up and go. Don’t ya, Star?“ he scratched the animal under her enormous chin while she nickered at him. She tossed her head up and down and it made me flinch, just for a second. I could hear her pawing the straw beneath her.

“Ev, get closer, I wanna see.” I tugged on Eveline’s collar, as her finger tips brushed my cheek.

“Not too close… I’m still really not sure this is a good idea…”

“I’m fine! It’s all fine! Come on!” She sighed, relenting.

She took several more steps and soon I was only about six inches away from the horse. She was beautiful. Her face was a deep dark gray. So dark it was almost blue. She had a white patch in the middle of her forehead that looked suspiciously like her namesake. Her body was speckled dark grey over a lighter grey coat. “She’s…. Amazing…” I breathed, fascinated by the twitching of her ears, that rotated in my direction when I spoke, the big, bulbous but sweet eyes fringed with eyelashes surely as long as my forearm, not to mention the mess of whiskers about her muzzle, the dark grey skin of which looked incredibly soft to the touch.

“Ev! Let me out so I can pet her!” I could practically feel the muscles beneath me tense at my request. I chuckled and sighed, “It’s so adorable how worried you are. I’m fine, I’ve got you and Trav looking out for me. C’mon, I’ve gotta tame this wild wonder of the west if I’m ever gonna be allowed to call myself a cowboy!” In that moment, I was quite pleased with my on the fly poetry.

Fingers pinched the collar of my plaid button up and delivered me to the lip of the stall, standing steadily between two metal bars. I wrapped my arm around one for extra balance. I could tell she was still holding on to my shirt, pinching the fabric between finger and thumb, in case I fell.

The horse didn’t seem to notice me much at first, she was busy nuzzling Travis’ chest. “Awww I’m gonna pretend you’re doing that because you love me and missed me and not because you’re begging for treats… here, you greedy girl.” He fished something from his pocket that looked like a cookie, and held it out in the flat of his palm. I was probably just barely twice the size of that treat, I realized.

It was incredible watching my friends who I’d always seen as gigantic in their own right, interacting with a creature that dwarfed them. Her head alone was as big as his chest. I shook my head. It was trippy. The horse nuzzled his hand with her muscular lips, before gathering up her treat and munching on it gratefully.

Travis noticed me watching with fascination, and took a few steps closer, leaning down to meet me at eye level where I clung to the railing, “You wanna feed her?”

“Trav! She’ll bite his arm clean off!”

“Relax! You’ll help him, it’ll be great! Don’t listen to her man, you’ve got this!” I tried to not let that gory image Eveline painted make me fear the beautiful beast, “Here…” he broke off a small piece of the treat, small enough for me to hold, “So what you’ll do, if you put it like this, in the flat of your hand and offer it to her, Ev can place her hand beneath yours. That way she has more of a surface area to graze and won’t accidentally grab onto you…. Sound good?” I nodded vigorously, grinning from ear to ear. I offered my right hand, he placed the treat into it. Eveline’s palm, seemingly a hundred times larger than mine, slid beneath my whole arm, supporting me.

Together, we both stuck our hands through the bars. My heart pounded in my chest as this unfathomably large creature descended its mouth down towards me. Those massive fuzzy lips began feeling for food while those nostrils, bigger than the upper half of my body, smelled in heavy hot breaths. I couldn’t help yelping with delight when that muzzle made contact with my offered arm. It was so soft.

“Ha!! It tickles! Her whiskers!” She soon found the chunk of treat and snatched it from me, leaving a glob of gritty, sandy slobber in her wake. Gross. But I also didn’t give a shit. I loved this more than I could put into words.

I craned my neck to look at those massive, glossy black eyes. “Hey, girl… Hey, Star…” again I watched her ears prick at the sound of my voice. It was baffling that someone as tiny as me was even on her radar. She nickered softly, nostrils flaring as she approached the bars again.

************

I stiffened, watching the horse approach the minuscule man I was holding onto with a death grip. I wanted to just snatch him away now before anything happened, but I saw Travis hold a hand up and shake his head. I grit my teeth. What was Trav’s obsession with wanting Penn to flirt with danger all the sudden?

I watched with baited breath, as the horse’s nose closed the gap between her and his outstretched hand. Terrified as I was for his safety, I took a step back and recognized how brave my little cowboy was. There wasn’t an ounce of fear or trepidation in him. Here he was, caressing an animal literally a thousand times his size. You’re either crazy or stupid or maybe a little of both, but goddamn do I love you, my sweet little Penn. You’re ten times braver than I could ever be.

The second his palm collided with her muzzle he gasped in pure delight, “She’s soooo soft!” He practically squealed and in spite of everything, my heart melted. I watched as Star breathed out, a warm puff of air swirling around the little man. “Thanks for letting me pet you… you’re very soft!” Almost as if she knew she was dealing with a very small, very fragile life, she stayed stock still, blinking lazily in the rising morning light. She breathed out a second time, satisfied and relaxed. Maybe this wasn’t a total disaster after all, everything had exceeded my expectations so far. Penn turned over his shoulder, beside himself with glee, “She likes me! We’re best friends now…” I felt a flush in my cheeks at seeing him so giddy. I bit my lip, as he turned back to the horse,“You like it when I pet you…Don’t you, girl? Yeah, you love it!” He continued to caress her. There was something acutely adorable about a pocket-sized man cooing at a thousand-pound animal.

But then, as he continued to rub her gently and sweetly, her nostrils flicked, once, twice, and on the third time, she sucked in air before… BAM!!! She sneezed all over him.

Horrified, I wrenched him away from the stall bars, cradling him in my hands. He was covered with dirty horse snot from head to toe. It was disgusting. “Oh you poor thing! Are you okay? Goddammit! I knew this was a bad idea, Travis, I knew it! We never should have brought him here—“

I was stopped in my rant by the sound of laughter coming from the mess of mucus and man squirming in my hands. Travis crossed to my side and gingerly plucked him from my grasp, gathering the inside corner of his shirt, he began to wipe Penn down, whose only response was continued giggles. Once he was at least not soaking wet, Travis perched my love in the center of his open palm, returning his hat to him as well.

Penn opened his arms wide, clutching his hat in his right hand,“See? I’m okay! It’s my fault, I was scratching her nose too much! I deserved it!” I shook my head. Ever the little optimist aren’t you?

I offered my hands and he clung to my thumb allowing himself to be picked up and held between a nest of fingers. I tipped his chin to look at me, shaking my head, “I can’t believe after that you still wanna be out here!”

“Of course I do!” He furrowed his brow defiantly, “The cowboy life is rough and tumble. If I can’t learn to roll with the punches and bounce back, I don’t deserve to wear this hat!” I rolled my eyes at all the performativity and bravado.

Unbeknownst to us, Travis had dipped into the tack room and now reappeared with a dusty leather saddle thrown over his shoulder like it weighed nothing at all, “We tacking up or what?”

Before I could get a word out, Penn scrambled to a kneeling position in my hand, turning to face the copper-haired man, “Fuck yes we are!” With that he plopped his hat back on his head, grinning from ear to ear.

Well, that was that. We were really doing this. My little cowboy was calling the shots and I had no choice but to tag along. “Why the fuck can’t I say no to you??” I groaned.

“You probably did something bad in a past life and I was sent here to punish you! In any case, I’m riding a motherfucking horse, today!!” All I could do was roll my eyes, tuck him gently in my pocket and help Travis with the tack. Goddammit, please, don’t let this end in disaster!

#Why is he like this?#pet the horse little man #yee to the haw #g/t related #g/t community #g/t au #g/t writing #sfw g/t #giant/tiny #g/t #size difference #Nobody’s Fool #oc:penn #oc:eveline #oc:travis

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cloudsrust · 10 months

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At this point me swapping the outfits of a duo/ship I love is just a staple of when I really get into something.

It's always just so- either hella sweet or funny. Ultimate comfort type of fanart fr.

#the cloud can speak oh boi #Especially when the characters' aesthetics are total opposites it's just- oUGH good stuff #Cue me trying really hard to draw Aziraphale wearing Crowley's skinny jeans and losing it #seeing his legs defined instead of lost in his wide pants feels w r o n g especially with the tiny feet I gave him #on the opposite side tho- living for the demon in wide pants and coat. It good stuff #also it made me notice how Aziraphale is mostly warm tones (clothes) with accents of cold ones (eyes and hair) while Crowley is the opposit #that really balances them out and I love that- also this means that Azira wearing Crowley's clothes is very cool- *gets dragged off stage*#I worked until 6am yesterday so today is comfort day for my poor brain- yee <3

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a-dragon-in-a-corner · 1 year

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just an angsty OC being angsty

#their name is Pax btw #did I already post this??#mayhaps #anyway this is from a while ago but an art block is k i l l i n g me #thankfully I wrote quite a bit today so yee #oc artwork #oc

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glitchy--demon · 2 years

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Grabbing him, putting him in a blender and pouring down the drain as we speak. /j

First time drawing big shot spamton, and somehow magically improved the way i draw him in one drawing.

I'm gonna draw him more... hopefully-

Also the sketches cause why not:

#glitchy's art #art #medibang #deltarune #deltarune spamton #spamton #spamton g spamton #big shot spamton #//i dunno why but the hair changed GDJSDSJDB #//but yeah i only like the colouring idk i should stop pushing myself to draw :> but yee-#//i wanna kick him in the shins /j

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spaceshipsandpurpledrank · 2 years

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Basedlord - Who Dat Be Remix (feat. Shofu, G.Yee, Matt Houston & VI Seconds)

#hip hop #rap #ctc #music #shofu #g. yee #matt houston #shizzy vi #vi seconds

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the-best-bagel · 7 months

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generally im an english (language) apologist but the G and J situation is horrific

#writing myself notes in english on pronouncing italian and getting them wrong #g can be hard g and soft #j just makes me go zhhhh bc french worms #OR theres also the Gs that are yees #which italian has

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yingtan · 17 days

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JACKSON YEE as Sun Jun FULL RIVER RED 满江红 (2023) dir. Zhang Yimou

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b0tster · 26 days

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#liliths mind #very curious

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marchswifey · 7 months

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Kai Anderson’s NSFW alphabet

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

You don't get any, go to bed, all he's going to do is say ‘I love you. good night bitch’ or something like that

B = Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partners)

On himself he likes his hands, he loves squeezing your ass with his big hands. On you he likes your ass, he loves to slap it and he probably just likes to look at it

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically)

Kai likes a lot to cum on your ass or on the bottom of your stomach, but when you suck it he likes when you swallow it. He basically loves to cum everywhere to get you dirty

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He secretly has an album of your nudes :)

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Kai has had a lot of bitches before you so he’s a lot experienced.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying)

He loves doggy style because he gets a big veiw of your ass and has full control

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

NO he’s very serious, the most goofy you'll have is him teasing you

H = Hair (How well-groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Doesn't do anything, he just leaves it there

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect.)

For him it depends. He can be one day then not the next day. It depends on his mood

J = Jack off (Masturbation Headcanon)

As I said he has a secret album of you so yees, but not often

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Everything he will do everything.

Pet kink, degrading kink, bondage, breeding kink, & more

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

He will do it everywhere to be honest, but his favorite place to do it is in the shower

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Your ass, he finds it hot

N = No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He'll do anything to you

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He prefers to receive he just likes to see you on your knees chocking on it

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

He is very fast and rough with you, he loves to make you scream and if you ask him to slow down he will surely accelerate his pace.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Yes, if he's feeling excited and just wants you for a bit, he'll make a quikie

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

He can be quite risky, he's not afraid of being caught "I'm the divine ruler, I can do whatever I want".

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

He work out so he has a good endurance

T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Yes, he owns so many

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)

A lot. He will tease you all day and then fuck the life out of you at night

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He actually only moans when you suck it, but they're very soft the rest of the time he growls or grunts

W = Wild Card (A random headcanon for the character)

Sometimes he records you two having sex

X = X-ray (Let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He’s a 8 inches, very thick

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

His sex drive is through the roof. He will fuck any time he can and wherever he can

Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterward)

Usually he just rolls over to his side and fall asleep but if he’s (rarely) feeling a bit romantic he will push you to his chest, in the morning you’d wake up alone in the room though because he’s already awake making plans for the cult

#american horror story #evan peters #smut #ahs cult #kai anderson #fanfic #kai anderson x reader #kai anderson x y/n #kai anderson smut #evan peters imagine #ahs fanfic #american horror story cult #headcanon

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sparkarrestor · 21 days

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So we all know that Awdry originally had James as a GSWR Class 403 since it fit the description of an inside-cylinder mogul, but later changed James to be an English design. This post stems off the thought of "What If Awdry kept James Scottish?"

This whole thing was also brought on by @mean-scarlet-deceiver's Tales of the G&SW excerpts.

Beware, my writing of a Scottish accent is terrible, try not to cringe.

What If Scottish James

Written By: SparkArrester

1929

James was in a foul mood. Henry, like usual, failed. Now he was stuck with his coal train. That he had to arrange himself. Apparently the new shunter was busy with something that wasn’t shunting.

“Stupid Trucks, stupid coal, stupid everythingggg”, He moaned as he marshalled his train, “All that time being cleaned was a waste!”

The trucks, sensing an opportunity for mischief, made it their mission to give James the worst morning possible. They jammed their brakes, ran hot axles boxes, and some even derailed in the yard. The breaking point was when an old tippler’s front hatch flew open. Coal poured out onto the rails, and onto James, coating his front end. The trucks all burst out laughing, but they were soon cut off.

“Yee wretched little INGRATES!”, Burst out James in a perfect scottish dialect, “Ye all oor jus’ little devious muckle nuisances that are no fit ta scrape ta scale oof me boiler, ye little wee gobshites!”

This continued for some time, until James heard a familiar whistle, and immediately blanched. Percy rolled in looking gobsmacked.

“Err, uhh, hey James?”

“Wha arr ye -ahem- what are, uh, you doing here Percy?”

“Coming to take over the shunting.”

“Ah, right.”

“...”

“... Percy.”

“Yes?”

“Please don’t tell anyone…”

“James, I’m pretty sure everyone on this side of the island heard you.”

“... Dang it.”

1951

James sat there, covered in tar. His crew had already gone to the station to phone for help, and one of the old Suddery Tanks brought a crane to assist. He was hoping for an engine like Edward or Henry to take him to the works. In the meantime, quietly grumbling to himself was good enough. In fact, he was so absorbed with himself that he forgot his surroundings.

“Stupid wee muckle nuisances…”, he muttered, “Stupid Toby. If ‘e wasnae a huge prat my red coat wouldnae be in ruins. Honestly, those wee branchline engines are nothing but great big pieces ‘o-”

A ring of a bell broke him out of his thoughts. He jumped back as he realized Toby and Percy were right beside him. He prayed they hadn’t heard him. They did.

“Ark ay Percy!”, Chortled Toby in a terrible Scottish accent, “Whatever isnae that dirty object!”

“That isn’t even how you use isnae…”, muttered James, but of course they took no notice.

They continued speaking in terrible accents all the way to the sheds. James didn’t know if he should be angry at their teasing, or their complete butchering of his old dialect (one he had tried his hardest to shake), so he settled for both.

1959

The Fat Controller had brought a new goods engine to help out. James was glad at first, now someone else could work the pick-up goods while he got more passengers. He had heard that there was something up with the new engine when it had arrived, but he didn’t put much stock into it. Later in the day, he was backing down on what would hopefully be his last pick-up goods in a while when he heard a whistle. A deep-toned whistle that he had not heard in years. James grimaced as a Caledonian steam engine pulled up on the adjacent line, giving him the stink eye.

“Well Well Well…” The Caledonian spat, “A Sou’-West engine. And one of Pee-Wee Drummond’s oven-boxes! Ah hoped we saw the last ‘o ye back ‘ome!”

“The feeling is most certainly mutual!” He replied with vitriol that wasn’t really there. He hoped to leave everything pre-sodor behind. But of course it had found him. At least he still had a slight bad opinion towards the Caledonian, it did him good in this confrontation.

“Ark aye!”, Exclaimed the Caledonian, “Why do ye soond like tha?”

James was taken aback, “Like what?”

“There it is again! Aye Douggie!”

The question of who “Douggie” was got itself answered quickly, when an identical Caledonian engine pulled up besides the first.

“Aye Donnie. What’s up!”

“Wait wait, just let that Sou’-West engine speak!”

James defiantly shut his mouth, but then his crew chose that exact time to ask him something. He replied as quietly as possible. But not quiet enough.

“O Aye!” Exclaimed “Douggie”, “He soonds like a wee sassenach!”

James went red in the face, “Well! I-I-I-”

“Tha accent is ass!” Chortled “Donnie”, and soon “Dougie” joined in.

They continued until James left, his face matching his paintwork. He put a good few months practicing his accent, and it was hard. He now figured out what exactly was up with the new engine: there were two of them, and they both sucked.

#ttte #ttte james #ttte percy #ttte donald #ttte douglas #ttte toby #what if scottish James #General RWS Stuff

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