#GOD i want them in therapy SO BAD

[shepscapades]

Hey! i’m really into the dbch story and i was wondering if doc and xisuma ever tell bdubs the specifics of why etho lost his memories, cause if they do that is prime self blaming angst for bdubs

I’m inclined to believe they don’t. Actually (and maybe I should do a small comic for this so more people see it) I imagine, once a month or a few pass and they finally return etho to bdubs as reset, I imagine they are VERY serious about warning bdubs not to try to force Etho to re-deviate— they don’t go into specifics, but they probably tell bdubs that whatever happened had to do with something that was emotionally overwhelming, and that forcing him to redeviate/not letting it happen naturally could trigger the same error. They have no idea what could happen so bdubs needs to be very careful and let Etho find himself again on his own.

Whether or not bdubs gets impatient or can only go so long before he doubts it would be that bad if he tried pushing Etho in the right direction is another story.

But yeah. I don’t think Xisuma or Doc really… tell anyone that this happened. Etho’s error seemed like a very specific one-off scenario, so it’s not something the other hermits should be trying to avoid or be careful about happening to their own android friends, and the only thing telling people would do is make them worried about the situation. All they need to know is that etho was broken and that they need to be careful with him. I don’t agree with their decision to keep what happened to themselves but I understand it I think. Xisuma “i don’t want to worry the hermits” Void and Docm “eh this isn’t the first time I’ve replaced this arm, people won’t question it” 77

#that’s a lie actually I think xisuma ends up telling Cleo :> #but only because Cleo is very smart and I think they should be close in this au :] #but no she would clock Tired Overworked Existential Crisis Xisuma in an instant #Cleo calls them both idiots and gives them big hugs and tells them they need therapy. also that they’re welcome by her place anytime to talk #it’s very sweet and healing to me #this is where “all things end’’ on Xisuma’s playlist comes in actually #oh my god I got so off topic #BDUBS IS GOING TO FEEL GUILTY NO MATTER WHAT THOUGH #like okay. technically #the reason etho shut down is because he was freaking out that everything was his fault #(last life—not giving bdubs a heart— trying to win for bdubs and then losing— coming back to s8 feeling like he can’t face bdubs—> #ending up leaving him alone when the moon hit #and bdubs was hurt by these things. no doubt #but bdubs just wants his friend back and maybe he’s a little reckless about it #bdubs hides his emotions behind cartoonish frustration and complaining but he feels bad #he feels like he should be doing more to ‘save’ etho and bring him back even though he was to #told* he shouldn’t #dbhc ask #dbhc #dbhc bdubs #dbhc etho #dbhc doc #dbhc xisuma #ask #anon

[ywpd-translations]

Ride 749: The last Straight Road*

(NdT.: same pun Kinaka always makes with his name and the word for straight road)

Pag 1

1: I....

3: Imaizumi-san!!

4: Go- good work!!

Good work!!

You were taking a long time for this lap

Pag 2

1: Yes, teh, I got a fl-fl-flat- my bike!!

Yessir!!

2: It's the tire!!

4: Only tires can get a flat

Ah- damn, yes, that's right

Right!!

6: I thought something like this might have happened, so I brought these

Replacement tubes, tire levers, and a pump. Use them

Pag 3

2: This is unusual!! I never thought Imaizumi-san was the attentive type – is it just for us!?

Yeah!! I thought first and second years were just not important to him....

3: You don't want to use the,?

We'll use them, thank you so much!!

4: You saved us, teh....!!

That's true

6: Ah, uhm... but..... Imaizumi-san

Earlier you said that

7: Sugimoto-san won't come”, what did you mean?

Pag 4

1: He retired

Pag 5

1: He's still displayed on the board, but

3: There's still time until midnight

If Sugimoto-kun....

4: Please leave the possibility open in case Sugimoto-kun wants to come back!!

5: Onoda insisted

6: Re... tired.....

Sugi..... moto-san....

Pag 6

1: He used up all his stamina and mental strength in his fight against Danchiku, and he was defeated

2: You didn't notice because you've been on the course the whole time

4: Ah... actually, when it got dark, Sugimoto-san and Danchiku-san passed us various times... teh

Huh!? That? So at that time-!?

5: You have no time to talk about unimportant things

As soon as you're done with the repairs, run, first years

6: Soon

Pag 7

1: Waa, ye-yes, teh, thank you for the tools

Yeah, there's still 40km

2: If we join our strengths....

Don't cooperate

5: Teh!?

7: From now on, you can't allow yourselves to run like friends

8: Huh....

Our “buddies” stickers.....!?

You have to fight

Pag 8

1: And win the last spot to be an Inter High member!!

Pag 9

1: Fa.... ight....

2: Against.... Kinaka-kun

3: Against.... Rokudai

4: 35km left!!

Gooo!! Kinakaa, Rokudaii!!

Do your best...!!

5: I feel like they'll be able to run the 1000km!!

Amazing!

Ah, but there was no distance between them just now?

Pag 10

1: Fight....

2: The spot as a regular in the two-times national champion, Sohoku....

3: I can't take it by just being friendly....!!

4: And also

5: There's Sugimoto-san's wish!!

Pag 11

1: Wa- wait, please, Imaizumi-san

But.... if in this training camp the condition to become the sixth regular was to finish the 1000km first....

2: Then why did Sugimoto-san and Danchiku-san race!?

4: I came here to give you a message from Sugimoto

5: I think, I think it's necessary, you know

Sohoku is a team that connect and support each other

6: Just like during our first year, you, Naruko, and Onoda, connected your wishes and aimed for the goal

7: And last year Kaburagi ran with Aoyagi-san and carried the team until the mountains on the third day

8: So I think we need it

9: Our third year Inter High members

Pag 12

1: Definitely need a “first year”!!

3: Even if he knew he was making his own situation worse, he thought about the best shape for the team would be

4: He accepted it, and fought

Pag 13

1: For the fifth place

3: Among the first years, those two are left, I look forward to see what they do!!

That's too much food

4: Danchiku probably understood it, too

That's why he fought with all his strength

6: Now you two have to run with the weight of those expectations on your back!!

7: Fight, against your opponent and against yourself!! Use all your strength

Pag 14

1: And pull to yourself that last jersey!!

2: Straaa-

Pag 15

1: Straight roaaad!!

2: - traight!!

3: …. ngh

Ugh.....

4: Kinaka-kun.....

5: Don't cry, Rokudai!!

Pag 16

1: What are you doing, oi!! I'll leave you behind like this!! I'll tear you off!!

If you give up, then it's lucky for me!!

2: My goal has always been the Inter High jersey!!

To get back at those senpai who made fun of me!!

3: To show it to the Onii-san who taught me how to ride bikes!!

So, for that....

6: So I'm telling you not to cry!!

Pag 17

1: But, Kinaka-kun....

It's that your “Straitgh road”, wasn't fast at all....!!

4: You knee? It's your knee, right?

Since when? Since a while ago?

5: Since when we were at about 800km

Pag 18

1: It's a race, Rokudai

2: You should have told me, teh

I didn't notice, teh!!

3: I'm such an incapable former manager, teh....

4: Since when I lost to you in the first years' race

6: I've been thinking that I would definitely not lose the next time we race

7: Even though the truth is that I don't really care about that anymore

So, once again...

Pag 19

1: It's a race, Rokudai!!

3: Let's do it, Rokudai!!

I can't, teh

4: Race me, pedal!!

I don't want to, teh....

5: Fight me!!

I won't pedal, teh

Pag 20

1: Because, if I fight you now, Kinaka-kun, I'll end up winning, teh

Pag 22

1: With that kindness of yours, support our senpai during the Inter High

#yowamushi pedal #yowamushi pedal translations #yowapeda #yowapeda manga #yowamushi pedal manga #yowamushi pedal spoilers #ride 749 #the tags arent enough for the essay i want and need to write about this chapter #most painful chapter but also one of the best chapter of the whole manga imho #IVE BEEN CRYING SINCE YESTRDAY WTF WATANABE HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO MY BABIES #YOU NEED TO PAY FOR MY THERAPY NOW #kinaka and roku's relationship is probably the most wholesome in the whole manga i love them so much #and this chap HURT SO BAD OH MY GOD #kinakaaaaa you're so strong for this ;A; the way he didnt want to tell roku about his knee bc he knew that roku would break #the way he even tried to provoke him to push him to race!! and he says he didnt want to lose against him again! but!! #He actually doesnt care about that anymore!!! hes just doing this for rokudai!!! #And rokuuuu!!! baby boy ;A; hes the purest boy ever!!! He didnt want to win like this against kinaka he didnt want to leave him behind ;A; #leave me alone im gonna cry forever ;A; (no actually dont leave me alone keep me company in my suffering plz) #page 21 is forever ingraved in my soul #even tho imaizumi told them not to cooperate in the end they did support each other until the last moment ;A; #(on a lighter not im happy that we finally have a reason for the race btwn sugimoto and danchiku - they both knew the team needed a first #year* so only one of them could be on the team)

[frechiiie]

Team Conrad-ers are so funny because they’ll hate on Jeremiah for calling Conrad out for being a stupid asshole because “poor Conrad he’s going through a lot :((“ Yeah? SO IS HE! this is also the same brother that makes decisions for him without even TALKING to him, like be FOR REAL.

#txt #‘Jere needs to be nicer to Conrad’ okay counterpoint ‘Conrad needs to get a grip’ #my man is going through it. I get it but the dude isn’t TALKING to his own brother. and Jere is FED UP. like be fr #Jere is a real one this season because he’s fucking tired and fed up but he’s trying so hard. I want them BOTH to literally just be HONEST. #JERE WANTS THAT SO BAD LIKE GET OVER YOURSELF CONRAD FOR GODS SAKE…..BE FR #the summer i turned pretty #tsitp #team jeremiah #it’s always poor Conrad :((( but Jere always gets pushed aside like okay. #GET THE MF IN THERAPHY BRO….SCREW THE DUMB LOVE TRIANGLE GET CONRAD THERAPY PLEASE

[wakasagayhime]

Besides Specter x Skadi and Tomimi x Gavial, do you have any other arknights ships you like?

yes, there are a few! blue poison x glaucus, kjera x pramanix, and zima x istina are some of the ones i really like that i just have not gotten around to drawing

edit: also ptilopsis x silence. i was a fool to forget this one. these birds are so married it's unreal. i have drawn them before tho

#anon #asks #bloopglock just feels like true love to me... girl sad no one will eat her desserts bc poison but then poisonguzzler69 suddenly shows up #pramanix deserves to be happy and i like the god x worshiper thing kindof like with corrupted skadi x nun specter #zima and istina need therapy so bad but i want them to become happy together :')

[b4kuch1n]

tdov was like a week ago already but I just wanna say when I came over to vacation slash help my sworn brother move flat he told me, "ever since you said you wanted to get top surgery I've been thinking about it. it's straight up number two on my bucket list"

#bakuspeech #number one is a house bc obviously. if u can own a house wouldnt u #he was very drunk at that time of the evening. I was not bc I have the constitution of a hot air balloon and any stimulant will blow me up #(relatively new development. france fucked me up big time turns out) #we held hand on his bed for like the whole evening. it was honestly very funny in hindsight but we were extremely earnest in the moment #and Im like. working on this thing as well. I dont got meds or therapy lmao Im bootstrappin here #but yeah early last year his bf offered to get me meds and I... turned it down... I think I was worried abt like. idk. something #but one year past looking back Im fully like that was a stupid move you shouldve gotten meds. youve once again fucked urself baku #but yeah with that kinda realization Ive also come to realized I've somewhat? accepted. that I'm just gonna be. like this #this in light of a number of likely chronic stuff too (hence my balloon-like constitution lmao) and #that's kinda bled into the rest of me without me really noticing #but him bringing that up fully unprompted... kinda jolted me out of it #its just. really incredibly sweet. that someone doesn't want me to settle for what I make do with #and like. preps for that work. just kinda held my hand and told me it's possible to do this actually #I didn't really express how I felt very well in that moment I think my brain is very bad and I process emotions with like a day of delay #but. well. Im thinking abt it Right Now. so yknow thats the kind of impact that had on me lol #not super sure why I wrote all this down here really. I think I just want a good n nice reminder that object permanence is real #and I exist in my friends' life even when Im going insane in a hole by myself #and with the power of friendship we can alter the universe's plan for ourselves and also kill god #that's that. anyways I eat lunch now and then pass out probably. last night was... eventful lmao #but!! very good things on the horizon hopefully. well manifestly we hold hammers and we use them #have a good day lads. let's go out and slay monsters under a highway

[castdowns]

the only half way safe space to be a lesbian is online and literally y’all fucking suck too, i am so depressed

#castdowns.txt #i hate conversion therapy i don’t want to be straight i don’t want to like men i don’t like them i don’t care for them #i am so tired of feeling like the most hideous creature because everything changes when people find out that i’m gay #like i’m either a little boy or a problem and i am so fucking sad #like sorry you can’t fix me but literally i will not be able to function if i concede more ground to men and patriarchy like i am so tired #i wanna lock myself in my room a lot of the time like i don’t feel good ever #and yes my period is coming but god dammit thats not the only thing wrong #its never the only thing wrong unfortunately i just have very strong emotions that i try to suppress all of the time #yes my fawn response is bad i know this i dont know what to do about the fact that there is nothing people organically like about me #everyone has to train themselves to tolerate me and i am not above working to be loved but it doesnt feel like work towards the love i want #it feels like tying a noose tighter and tighter #it feels like smiling while my blood is pooling down the fucking drain again and again #and i love people around me i do it just always feels like i am alone #i sleep under the flag and i sleep in my bed alone every night surrounded by the stuffed animals i buy to feel something #*jo march voice* i’m just so damn lonely

[bunnyb34r]

Trying to undo the damage of Facebook w/o risking your relationship with a loved one is like defusing a fucking bomb sometimes I stg

#marquilla #i had a whole thing typed out ab this but ugh #im trying to explain to my mom that no they are not fighting to let children have sex changes. the only sex change sugery they preform on #minors are the fucked up shit they do to intersex kids at birth #that hormone therapy would be the only 'trans treatment' a minor could get and no it will not be w/o parental consent. and that hrt is #reversible. #id love to try to deradicalize the rest of my family but im sorry those motherfuckers are too far gone for me to try and keep my own sanity #like 1 went from far right to libertarian which isnt much better but it's something but im still leery of him ngl #and tra/dwife cousin's husband is full blown far right and i know it's wrong but i dont care enough ab them to want to try #ahdhdgdg i know it's bad but like they can all go to hell idc #and then theres the cousin i dont talk to who is a bible thumping freak who told his sister at her fucking lesbian wedding something #something god doesn't approve or something like that like 😬 #and hes in a cult of some kind im sure but i didnt dig deep enough to find out if it's just WS flavored or full on WS shit #but theyre dead to me. i only have my lesbian cousin w/that last name sorry i dont have any [name]s in my family besides her #wouldnt put it past tra/dwife cousin's sister to be in some cult or cult adjacent beliefs honestly #i know shes being abused in some capacity and that her husband is a fucking asshole but shes a bitch so i dont talk to her at all anyway #(not that her being a bitch makes her deserving of that. those statements are two sep things. i feel bad shes being abused. AND separately #shes a bitch and her being a bitch is why i dont talk to her) #ANYWAY I Have a headache so im gonna wash the gunk off and hope i feel better

[revvetha]

honestly hate that I'm still fucking around on tumblr atm. and that I can still message people during a 30min window of the afternoon where I'm just in the sweetspot of caffeination. I'm doing so unbelievably bad atm and like... It's not like I share much outside of tumblr, but I genuinely don't think anyone would even believe me or understand how serious it is. Because I'm not being dramatic and mysteriously brooding and hiding away, and instead I still occasionally post about my blorbos or whatever. Like my suffering doesn't count unless it fills up every hour of every day and is the only thing I talk about. Like maybe if I isolated myself even more and were even more self destructive, someone would give a shit.

How fucking ridiculous that I wish I could be sexier and cooler and more dramatic about my own mental illness

#Idfk it's all so stupid. And now I'm on tumblr posting about it AGAIN instead of shutting the fuck up . god. #I honestly just want someone to see how rough it is and offer literally Any kind of support or at least validation. #like if someone just said like 'I can see you're having a really difficult time and struggling much more than usual' or smth #I would already feel so validated and comforted fr #as gross as that is I WANT to feel a bit special. I want to be treated extra carefully bc I'm in an exceptionally bad state. #I want people to say 'it's rough for them atm so at let's all be extra kind and cut them some slack' #I'm really really really fucking tired of being strong about it #personal #vent #if therapy worked on me that'd also be swell lol #Anyway I'm going to bed because I'm more sad and scared than I can handle while conscious lol

[asteralien]

trying to articulate that while i do want to be more mentally healthy and more stable, i am not a woo woo uwu humanity is basically good <3 i love living life and romanticizing every little thing <3 if depressed people would only try to see beauty in a plastic bag they would no longer be depressed <3 kind of person and i don't see why i should have to be in order to Not Be Depressed. this is literally high school all over again

#i'm starting to feel like my personality is being pathologized again and it's like. i don't want to be different! #i don't hate people i just don't feel any one way about them or another! i dont want strong fluffy feelings about them all the time! #feelings are fragile and temporary and should not be the basis for my mental fucking health! #i shouldn't have to force myself to feel cherry-blossoms-and-carley-rae-jepsen feelings #to forcey-worcey myself into being healthier #all this 'teaching yourself to be happier' bullshit is so. pointless to me. i'm not always going to be able to be happy #and being like 'but you'll be happy again <3<3<3' is so devaluing of the current state of unhappiness or discomfort or misery #it's the wheel of fucking fortune out here and waiting for it to spin your way feels so disingenuous a way for me to live #i feel like the witch in into the woods oh my god like you're not good youre not bad youre just nice. #i dont want to be Nice i want to be myself and okay with that #and i hope/want myself to have kindness in them but i'm not defining myself on how much Positivity i have in me #i'm a puddleglum okay. why should i have to transition into a lucy to be deemed healthy. #eaugh i just. i'm having An Time w/ therapy #aster chat

[whoreiaki-kakyoin]

Rubbing my hands together evilly as I ship myself with characters who have depression and trauma, or characters who I headcanon with various mental illnesses, so that I can think up scenarios of us supporting each other on bad mental health days.

#i love Abbacchio and Kakyoin bc like. god look at them they need therapy. me too bitch #but fr the thought of being able to be there for and help each other? excellent #i can just be like yeah it’s a bad day and Leone just nods and doesn’t push me because he gets it. he’ll sit with me so I can have company #and if I decide I want to talk then he’s there #i help him with self care stuff on his really bad depressive days. easy pre cooked meals for him for when eating is a struggle. #getting him water. gently asking if he’s taken his meds if he takes any. and not judging if he’s forgotten. just going and getting them #I’m rambling but you know? you get me? you feel me? sigh #self ship things

[harrowharkwife]

.

#god i need to go back to therapy but i don't want to unless i can find a therapist #who is experienced in working with autistic adults #i just. ive accepted at this point that om not going to get anywhere #or get anything helpful #out of therapy until/unless i start acknowledging my autism in the process instead of trying to continue pretending it's not there #like. talk therapy just isn't going to be useful for me otherwise. I've hit the ceiling in terms of what progress i can make #without turning over that log #and i just. i really WANT therapy for my autism. not in a 'fix me' sense bc there's nothing wrong with me #i love my autism #but. it's getting to be really god damn fucking painful and embarrassing and heartbreaking feeling like i can't have a fucking conversation #i just. i want to work on my social skills. they didn't use to be this bad idk what happened! the pandemic probably tbh but ugh #i just. never know what to say or how to say it and it feels like im constantly fumbling and im never paying enough attention #to the other person bc im too busy just trying to fucking listen to them and process what they're saying and figure out what to say back #and i just get so nervous about communicating correctly that what comes out of my mouth doesn't match my thoughts at all #i barely even know what i'm saying half the time and that's. terrifying #but it's just so hard finding a therapist already let alone finding one whos a) experienced in evidence based and compassionate autism care #and b) normal and not an ableist freak about it

[certified-pretty-boy]

hi this is incredibly off topic and none of you need to read this i just needed to Vent for a sec

#hi yes i need to vent somewhere and this is the least likely place for the ppl i don't want to see this to accidentally see it #god today has been rough #in good news mentally I'm not actually that bad #like I'm really aware that today could've sucked more and mentally i feel pretty reasonable alk things considered #but I'm dealing with a flare up and i woke up today just so incredibly sick #had to replan my entire day cancel therapy couldn't take a shower etc #my heart has been acting up really bad and i literally spent the first like 6 hours of the day Shaking i was so ill #and i had a minor fall and just overall feel a little bruised and banged up #and it's also a Bad pain night my ribs are fucking killing me breathing is Excruciating #and that's with my usual meds + my as needed ones #and multiple people I'm really close to who live far away are having a really hard time rn #and it's been rough having to just...sit back and watch them hurt all alone #i did get some work done on one of my younger sibling's b-day gifts though so hey at least there's that #anyways I'm tired and i really need to give all my close friends a hug asap and also i would like to cry for an extended period of time #off topic #seriously i do not expect any of you to read this far i just needed to feel like i was Telling Someone #and everyone i feel close enough to to actually personally tell is having too hard of a time rn #so i am simply venting into the vortex that is the tags on tumblr 😂

[tiredfoxtf]

Sometimes I feel really guilty about my friend group falling apart after I left in my mentally bad state. But rereading the chats, it's really not my fault, it's not something I could fix, even though I tried really hard back then.

#> tired shitpost #like yeah i can't make someone's god awful mental state go away #i can't make them to open up to me if they don't want to #i can't make them go to therapy #and i definitely can't make two friends who are having a constant conflict to be united #i feel so bad that i didn't do anything for them #but logically there was nothing I could do #man #I tried so many times #i talked to them so many times #and nothing worked

[solemntitty]

u ever just come to Realizations at 25 abt yr childhood and yr like. damn why was i always telling myself my childhood wasn't that bad so that meant that i felt like i didn't have to deal w the Effects of It All

because now we certainly need to deal with the Effects

#jamie has made a statement #most bc uhhhhh *checks notes* we cannot function #turns out having no emotionally intelligent parents + one parent having a potentially fatal chronic illness which resulted in. me being #emotionally abused by said person w a chronic illness has consequences! #mostly just intentionally locking away everything having to do with that Time #i was also severely mentally ill and friendless and uhhhh never got the treatment i actually needed bc #my therapist was on said emotional abuser's side and used to be said person's therapist before me! #my mom has also tried to get the name of my sister's therapist so uh yeah the boundaries of my parents w therapy is Not Good #also ofc mostly got berated for having Symptoms of Disorders and not being supportive enough during all of her chemo #it got to the point of me considering illegal actions #oh. typing this out i'm. realizing how bad it was #also no she never apologized. #or if she did i don't remember because it was one of the usual apology non apologies #GOD ANOTHER THING she tried to get me treatment for said mental illness when i was about 12-13 and would basically #made me??? take the meds even though i didn't want to??? it got to the point where i was spitting them back #and basically faking taking them right in front of her #she never really asked me why i felt like that and it was bc i felt like they just wanted me to be a Success and not actually. a person #imagine having a child w mental illness and making no effort to understand what their day to day experience is #she later blamed me for not getting help for my mental illness when i was a child. i had selective mutism panic attack disorder all related #to social anxiety. of course i fucking couldn't. and they would never notice until it was a Oh We Didn't Make A Normal Child issue

[fandom-blackhole]

Do you ever overhear someone else in your major and really think, "you really are not fit for this major"

#oh if someone has that issue id have to refer them bc itd trigger my trauma #theres this girl in my ab psych class #and i spent the whole semester listening to her basically use the class as therapy #and constantly saying #im pretty sure shes either passed on every illness or claimed to have it this semester #..... #you know what i sound like a total bitch and like im gatekeeping #but christ i know more about her life than i should or want to #and i hope to fucking god if she does go into the field then she either learns and grows up a bit #cause if not i feel bad for her patients bc its jusy gonna be her trauma dumping on them #annnnddddd she jusy said her dads a cop so that makes sense #sorry this sounds really bad but she REALLY irks me

[suttttton]

me 🤝 my mom undiagnosed anxiety disorders

#the older i get the clearer it becomes that me and my mom catastrophize about things very similarly #difference is i found healthy coping mechanisms while my mom found homophobic death cult evangelical christianity #of course this realization makes me feel very bad for my mom because like. i get it. #she tells me that she worries about me and i know she doesn't mean the normal way moms worry about their kids i know she actually means #that she has a creeping suspicion that my life choices are going to send me to hell and she feels powerless to stop it #and her brain will not let her think about anything else so 24/7 its just alarms blaring #and because she's constructed her entire belief system around having anxiety she's like. this fear i feel is a message from god. #and i have no idea how to help her #like???? #she's literally believed these things fro her entire life giving them up feels like the end of the world #and her WHOLE FAMILY is there with her so even if she could realize she'd be happier without these beliefs #she'd immediately have a dozen trusted voices telling her no actually. your anxiety is correct and you're right to afraid all the time #for awhile when i was like. 18-19. the major question i had about my childhood was WHY didn't my mom never take me to therapy #because yeah okay she came from a culture where therapy isn't trusted and god is supposed to fix all your mental illnesses #but she read all the parenting books and universally took experts' advice over what she'd learned from her own parents #(because she knew her parents hadn't done a great job and didn't want to repeat their mistakes) #and she KNEW i was REALLY bad. i was crying all the time having her drive me to the bookstore to get books i thought might help #sending myself into anxious spirals if anyone mentioned death around me #not a fun time in my life or her life #and she DID take me to talk to my pediatrician about it so like??? why did we never see a therapist??? #i was 9 i though there was just nothing that could be done but???????? #but now i realize that what happened to me back then didn't really scan in my mother's head as something wrong with me #because she was the same way #:/