#GOT ME FEELING ALL KINDS OF HOT

[blueskittlesart]

cold fruit in a hot kitchen (so i had this great watermelon last weekend)

#so I had this great watermelon last weekend. and the thing is it probably wasn't even that great of a watermelon #but I was four hours into an eight hour shift and we had thrown out all the watermelon salad because no one was eating it #and then our manager ran in and yelled that the client really fucking wanted watermelon salad. #so like six of us servers started frantically chopping watermelon. and the kitchen got really hot #in the way it does when everyone inside it is really stressed because there's no fucking watermelon salad #and after we chopped all the watermelon and the client got their fucking watermelon we all had a moment #where we looked at the remaining watermelon and we were so hot and cocktail hour was almost over anyway and the salads were all plated #and we all went for the watermelon and we ate it with the kind of rabid intensity you only get while eating cold watermelon in a hot kitche #and it was the best watermelon I have ever tasted and several days later i am still chasing the high of that fucking watermelon #and the thing is i know it isn't even the watermelon i'm actually missing #it's the feeling of cool liquid on hot skin and the feeling of a crisis averted and the feeling of camaraderie #that comes with devouring a watermelon in a hot kitchen with six other people who you have nothing in common with except that watermelon. #i don't dream of labor but i am dreaming now of being 4 hours into an eight hour shift eating watermelon in a hot kitchen. #i dream of laughing around the cold fruit in my mouth. I crave that watermelon like i'll die without it. #< honest to god this is real and that watermelon left such an impact on me that i had to draw it and write this. having a normal one #maybe this is insane but working in a team of people you truly like to do something you actually enjoy is so underrated #if only they fucking paid me i could work as a server for the rest of my life. unironically #skribbles

[dootznbootz]

I think some folks MAY have gotten the wrong idea about how I feel about Circe with some of my posts. So, to clear the air...

Homies, I love that fucked up sorceress.

I love how we're never given a reason why she turns people into animals. That's so funny and so awful. And another potion-making magic gal?!?! I love that she's just basically vibing on an island doing whatever she wants. I even love the fact that she scares Odysseus shitless! She's morally gray and that's why she's FUN.

I just sincerely hate when people try to girlboss her or have her be a victim of SA when she never was Looking at you, Miller. Especially when she was actually the one who coerced Odysseus in exchange for his men being transformed back into humans. And even then, while he was clearly afraid of her, (it's in the language of the Odyssey) she likely meant him no harm after a certain point. He just didn't know that.

Why does she need a reason to do awful things? Why can't she just be a goddess who does whatever she wants? That's the reason why I love her!!! She's fucked up!!! :D

I hate what the Telegony did to her as well! >:( You're telling me, this sorceress goddess, who makes potions (!!!) wouldn't have magic contraceptives??? Would WANT CHILDREN?!?! WITH THE PATHETIC WIFEMAN?! No. Fuck no. Eugammon of Cyrene, I have beef with you 🤬

Anyways!!! Understand all the "#anti circe" I have is simply Anti "Girlboss Circe" or the book. I genuinely think she's neat af as her morally gray, fucked up sorceress self and just get frustrated with...everything :'D

#I have these same feelings with Medea and Medusa and so many others. Penelope too. Let them do something fucked up just to be fucked up #I'm a “god forbid women do anything” in the sense of 'she did a fucked up thing. That's why she's fascinating. Don't take her awfulness #away from her!!! please! I wanna study her under a microscope!'😭 #PLEASE #...I actually kind of don't like the idea of her actually caring about her nymphs :P maybe she “protects them” but like... #I see her as a “Why are all of you dancing? Oh. it's a birthday? hm okay. Just make sure your duties are done.” while not caring #whose birthday it is. She's not really shown to be close to them during the Odyssey and idk just seems in character for her to not give af #save me morally gray circe #<-making that a tag now because...yeah. She absolutely wouldn't save me though. #Mad rambles #shot by odysseus #anti madeline miller #anti circe #<-THE BOOK! I HATE THE BOOK! LET HER BE AWFUL YOU COWARDS #Why do women need to be SA'ed to be strong Miller?! >:( #...Ima say it. The pathetic wifeman is more relatable to me than Hot Snake Monster Lady when it comes to this stuff.😤 #I just sincerely hate the fact that people erase what happened to him you know? It's silly but it means a lot to me. #Also I think she got bored of him immediately and simply let him chill at her place. #She's a goddess. She's got better things to do and she absolutely doesn't love him and he absolutely doesn't want her. #I don't have with Eugammon btw. He's dead and I'm exaggerating but I STILL hate the Telegony >:( #tw sa #kind of??? idk #barely mentioned but yeah #Calypso though?? Yeah. I hate her in practically everything except Pirates of the Caribbean because that's not Odyssey Calypso

[spaaacevodka]

@ all the girlies who have watched the boys - please reassure me im not unhinged for wanting to fuck homelander

#been watching it with the bestie and he's got me feeling crazy for finding this mf hot #he's scary in all the right ways ok! #total asshole no morals no emotional stability - thats my kind of man babey #spaaacevodka speaks #the boys #homelander

[jlf23tumble]

"Maybe I drink too much for a singer. Maybe I smoke too much for a singer. But it can be quite demanding, this life. So, for me to have those little vices, it's important." - Louis for The Telegraph

He even acknowledges himself that he smokes and drinks A LOT. but he sees it as his little pleasures in life. He says he needs it because he finds the life he lives demanding. He also once said that he needs a drink before the show to calm his nerves. So that sounds very much like he uses alcohol and cigarettes as a coping mechanism. That is NOT healthy. Wherever the memory loss comes from, he still has a problem with drugs and alcohol. He admits it in almost every interview! He just doesn’t see that it is a problem. Just like you :) instead of making fun of people who are concerned about Louis, you should at least acknowledge the fact that these concerns are very reasonable to have at this point. You don’t have to agree but making fun of it makes you look like a fool who is deeply in denial about reality.

#i'm not gonna acknowledge that at ALL #and i don't care if i look like a fool #at this point you have two choices: support local smoker/drinker louis tomlinson or don't support him #the secret third option of sending anons to people who don't care if he does or doesn't isn't really a thing #hate to spoil the whole parasocialness of it all #but you don't get a say in what he does or doesn't do #you only get a say in whether you support him or don't #and that's a fine line baby #but it's there #telling other people anonymously how unhealthy it is feels like it skirts the boundaries of unhealthiness in its own way if ya feel me #and as a heads up: this kind of handwringing nonsense is just gonna earn vintage smoking and drinking ads #i've got 'em for days #i have a scorching hot take i don't dare put on main but my lordt i'm thinkin' it #i keep going back to read the top of this and i'm floored that you can pull a direct quote #and then MISQUOTE it to fit your own alarmist narrative #to pinterest i go

[ef-1]

legs & lessons in perseverance | march '23

#so. #i fell into the fireplace lol #- thats the concise summary. but ive just been unwell health wise recently. i think ms is just harrowing to deal with #because you can go for so long symptom free and then one day you wake up and everything is wrong #your body feels wrong. #i remember being constantly angry at my body as though its a separate entity. especially when i was like 17/18. #because everytime i had a bad ms relapse i would literally breakdown in angry tears like- at my body. i was good to you. im meditating #im eating healthy. im exercising. ive been good to you. #but then suddenly you cant see or youre shaking uncontrollably or your limbs are numb #or my new favourite one: a couple of weeks ago i woke up at 4 am in a cold sweat. the inside of my thigh was burning #i dont mean like. exercise burning. i mean like struck a hot iron rod burning. it was obv nerve pain but that didnt stave off the panic #so i messaged my neurologist and hes like 'yeah its fine. wanna inject yourself?' #anyway. so recently i was helping my friend get his place houseparty ready and we were cleaning out the fire place #and my legs just gave out 😍 #and i got so angry and humiliated i kind of just wanted to go to bed and not wake up tbh #which is what i usually do but like. i was angry. angry. scorpio angry as lidya would say. so i had a nap in his bed #and when i woke up i felt slightly better and for once i thought 'im not going to let my body ruin this day for me' #and i just dragged him to the markets with me. and i still had the tremors but we bought more greens than either of us needed #and we laughed and walked and he carried me to the car at the end of the trip and it was one of the best days ive had in a long while tbh #and it feels impossible but sometimes all u need is to brush the ash from ur knees and hide the scruffs with stockings &maybe youll be ok #💚 #tw chronic illness #/ multiple sclerosis

[plushiehamuko]

having friends you love so much can be crazy bc it can be the worst day ever but then one or two interactions with your friends just. changes the tone of the entire day

#squishy talks too much #yesterday wasn't too hot for me #my lunch order got messed up which is a Big Deal for someone with my kind of autism #and i had to stand in line for fucking ever to get a package #and i was having a really hard time in ochem #but it wasn't even a bad day #bc the only feeling lingering from the day is. the joy from the interactions i had with my friends #so. i literally frickin love you guys #(i consider any and all mutuals who wanna be included as my friends so like. yes you all of you)

[halogalopaghost]

.

#I'm having anxiety for some reason which is an unfamiliar physical feeling for me #I do depression and my SISTER does anxiety we're the mental illness brothers you see #but nooo apparently she has lent me some anxiety or whatever #anyway I was feeling useless and kind of like shit about how I never do anything anymore #and never get anything done or help around the house or even clean up my own living space #so I just decided I was gonna get out of bed at three in the morning and sweep the whole house #which like. that's fine I guess #and I wouldn't sit down or take a break even when I wanted to stop because I have got to!! start fucking doing things I can't just #be a lump that complains and consumes resources all my life #but anyway that was a bad idea or whatever bc my hands and feet got real hot and red and now I feel like I'm gonna frow up #I'm laid out on the couch near the phone charger. save me phone charger. charger for my phone save me #so what do we think am I feeling unwell from the activity because I don't do the activity enough or because I am just unwell #last time I swept a large area AND mopped was less than a month ago #I. also had to lay down after that actually except I was at work #just laid across a row of seats like yeah just. gimme a fuckin second to necromancy myself here #anyway #I'm a lil anxious bc of my neurology appointment I guess?? it's either that or the Wellbutrin #OR a yet to be identified food sensitivity maybe?? #I actually have no fucking clue I just have a bunch of ideas ranked by plausibility #I'm. a little dizzy and the nausea is mcgetting me #farewell cruel world it's been nice knowing u

[cookinguptales]

just saw a person online talking about how they have EDS and that's why they get "cigarette paper scars" and I googled and like

do you mean to tell me that everyone doesn't have these

#I feel like I'm constantly learning about my own symptoms from the internet ;; #I have those all over ;; #usually from like small things #cuts or tears or blisters #I get those from blisters fairly often I'd say #and I get the blisters just from my clothes rubbing up against me #'velvet skin' sounds so much nicer than it actually is #that shit's fragile #cw: #chronic illness #eds #I don't think my dad realized how easily my skin blisters until we were in Japan #he saw me bandaging my feet after walking a fair amount one of the days and he was kind of horrified #once I got a bad one (about and inch and a half long) on my stomach just by wearing leggings on a hot day lmao #I carry bandages with me everywhere in my purse #(but that's also partially bc I need latex-free ones and you never know)

[slippery-minghus]

hmm. had an actual conversation with nightmare coworker today that seemed mutually productive. she apologized for saying some bullshit that hurt my feelings and i clarified that my intentions are to help not to undermine her, and we both agreed that there's no competition against each other and that it's the lack of growth in our role that's the problem. it was...productive.

and further cementing for me that it is time to begin making my Exit. i will be sending out my resume to a few places this weekend.

i'm still processing the conversation, and am struggling to place myself in where i am responsible to better my behavior. because i genuinely don't want to be an ass, even though i really don't like this lady and will jump for joy the day i never have to see her again. she stated that she knows my intentions aren't to hurt her, and that she thinks i'm very kind. i apologized for if my behavior came off as undermining her, and said that my intentions are only to better my own growth—and that i know she's trying to succeed too. i validated her feelings, and complemented the effort she is putting in.

where i'm struggling with is: am i in the wrong/causing harm and needing to change if the issue is that her feelings are incongruent with what she knows of my intentions? her feelings are her responsibility (WOW i almost typed "her feelings are my responsibility". i feel like that's a freudian slip) and she states that she knows i don't mean to hurt her. i'm going to try to be more clear in wording my intentions with her (she feels like me trying to take work off her plate is to undermine her. when really, i'm caught up and see her getting overwhelmed, and i want to help and also have something to do since i'm bored).

but i'm really struggling to look at my role in this and pass judgement on myself. i can and want to do better, and i don't think i did anything wrong, but i'm always so hesitant to say it's not my fault or i didn't do something bad. like i can't trust my judgement on that. my intentions were good, her bad feelings are ones caused by her insecurities, which she more or less has expressed to be aware that they are not true—the hurtful thing she said to me, she acknowledged was said out of hurt and not what she actually thinks. so, is it fair to say i'm not the bad guy? i'm not in the wrong? i know good intentions that still result in harm don't absolve anyone, but when the things that are clashing are insufficient communication and reactive insecurities... i'm not a monster, am i?

#well. i AM probably a monster for how much i dislike this lady #but i don't ACT on it #and i genuinely couldn't care less about her. i participate in decent human pleasantries because i am a decent human. #and at work we're stuck together #the thing that's irked me so much about this conversation is just.. her self centeredness #that she thinks everyone is out to get her. to undermine her. whatever. #bitch nobody cares about you enough one way or the other to put in that kind of effort. i sure don't #i empathize but i do not sympathize. to feel that pit that makes you feel like the worst kind of center of attention #i get it. but genuinely you are not the main character and no one is going to spend their limited time and energy to slowly attack you #you are not the cat with all the knives pointed at it #it's a terrible feeling to feel like you are! but when it influences your behavior to the point that you are making snide comments #to people who have no option not to interact with you then uh. then you're in the wrong buddy #and the people around you (who cannot easily leave! bc work!) should not have to bend over backwards to assure you #that they're not pointing knives at you. to protect themselves from your feelings making you say mean shit #like yes. i can be more clear with my intentions. i'm generally not the greatest at that. but my baseline that i want to #modify my behavior from is NOT one that a regular well adjusted person would take as anything but kind #and if a regular well adjusted person got a little offput by me volunteering to take work off their hands we would've had a very chill #3 sentence conversation about it MONTHS AGO. #i understand and respect (even if i find it annoying and overbearing) the need for me to announce my intentions like im working in a kitchen #and saying 'hot water' or 'knife' as i move around other people but we shouldn't have reached this conclusion this way #and frankly who's to fucking say me being more clear with my intentions will only feed the flames of her thinking i'm out to get her! #'i caught up on my stuff and your plate looks full. i'm bored. anything i can do to help?' could be a pointed knife for all i know!! #and if it is- and my actions still hurt her in that scenario- am i still responsible for the hurt caused?? #like WHERE DOES IT FUCKING E N D ? #personal #*exhales* okay i feel better now #i just hate talking about my interactions with her bc i just want NOTHING to do with it. i want her out of my head!! #but until i process it i can't let go #and i'm still going to have to go over all of this with my shrink tomorrow #it just makes me mad how much of my time this bitch takes up. i'm not getting paid to think about work right now!!!!

[ssspringroll]

He cleaned up nice

Didn't end up working as the townie i wanted him to be, but I'll never say no to a cute redhead. Even if we both know that's not his natural color.

#might make him a random celeb. hes got an undeniable sort of charisma. #or maybe i just really like redheads. #who can say. #simoleon #my kiddos #definitely gotta work on my CAS lighting and photo preset bc man. i might like the pics i accidentally took #with the gameplay gshade. better. oops! #well im still working on all that #its a wip. #does he look suspiciously like my OC Mark or am i just doubting my ability to make different faces again... #does every redhead with medium length slicked back red hair look the same to me... #anyway real interesting features on this guy imo #i feel like he DOESNT look like the same 2 guys i keep making over and over again #but also he kind of does. #ugh. #i will never shake this same face syndrome as long as i keep making hot guys #but will i stop? #unlikely.

[perilegs]

ok but has a man ever told you you have a dainty rook piercing area? i don't think so 😌

#you can't go around calling parts of me dainty even if it's in the most casual professional sense i'll blush #well dainty is the best translation for the word he used (siro) bc dainty doesnt really feel the same as siro even tho they mean the same t #hing #anyways i got my rook piercing today! it went well and besides being hot the piercer was so nice and professional and i really liked #the piercing shop and will get all my future piercings done there as well #it was a very nice safe feeling enironment. safe as in. i wasnt stressed about myself bc the piercer had a pride sticker on a bottle #also like all piercers explain what theyre doing as theyre doing the stuff but he was doing it extra well #also jfc i can never again get a rook piercing bc the experience of laying down facing an extremely attractive man #while he leans over you to penetrate your skin is. well. you can guess how i felt about it #also my bestie got some lobe piercings and they look very cute on her! #and she got some kind of a discount thing for bringing a new person to the shop #leevi talks #im sorry to everyone who has ever worked anywhere where they had to lean over me i cant help getting a mild crush #though i used to work as an amusement park ride operator so ive been on the both sides of this and idc i was just doing my job #and its normal to get a little crush on someone even if theyre just doing their job as long as you dont say anything about it

[silverselfshippingchaos]

this is one of my favorite k.yohei moments!!

#he's just so sweet!! #that's my husband right there!!! :D!!! he's such a great guy and i love how kind he is #ash rambles 💚 #he's so comforting and sweet and i just wanna kiss him and tell him i love him! and thank him for being the best husband ever!!! #my s/i doesn't always feel great abt herself and pre-relationship he once gave her a whole 'you're worth it' speech #and ever since then she's been so comfortable being who she is around him #and hey clearly he did something right since they got married a few years later but still #my husband!!! he's the best!!! i love him #he's been on my mind a lot today #that and uh. you know how reboot d.ante is my bestie forever? and you know how he has a twin brother that's lowkey evil as shit? #that twin brother also happens to be my s/i's ex! he's a horrible guy but fuuuccckkk he's sooooooo attractive #also i'm so not okay about his dlc. THE STORYTELLING... THE SYMBOLISM... AHJSQHDJQHJEHA #yeah he's been on my mind. one of my fave characters <3 he broke my s/i's heart and has done horrible irredeemable things but he's so l #so well-written and also soooo hot hehe! sorry d.ante but- oh but d.ante's reaction to finding out they dated was so funny ajskajsj #d.ante assumes it was a one night kinda thing since my d.mc s/i does that a lot but. nope. his brother was all 'nope. she was my gf.' #anyhow that relationship ended horribly which is part of the reason why ash is the way she is- anyhow d.mc lore aside!!! once i start #talking about this game i seriously cant stop LMAAAOOO back to my husband!! #he's the best and he makes me feel so safe! i love my husband! kiss kiss kiss! also i really love kissing his wedding ring. he's just the #best! and he's such a great dad to my fankiddo too! i love this fankid <3 she doesnt have a name yet (i call her daughterdota) but she's #so cool! usually wears a hat like her dad! she can come off as kinda 😐 sometimes but she's sweet!! she loves her skateboard and her pet dog #who is a shiba inu named ginger! i love her <3 ! #and i love my husband!! #okay it's getting late and i have class tomorrow- goodnight my friends!

[rosesradio]

.

#i’m kind of really heartbroken right now #so i had tickets to the hot freaks concert and went tonight—which i don’t mind posting on here because i live several hours away #so basically i drove to the venue for several hours and stopped like once for food #it was my understanding that windsor was opening and then the hot freaks and then the happy fits i guess but i didn’t know the exact times #we were running a bit late bc of the road trip and walked in at 7:25 (the show started at 7) and i got to see the tail end of ‘boyfriend’ #& i was like ‘oh okay i just missed their first song’ but then they walked off stage and my heart dropped. i missed everything #and yeah it’s on me because i must have had a misunderstanding about how the show worked #i’d never even heard of a show where an act performs for 20-25 minutes unless it’s like a variety show or something #i did cry about it already and just tried to have a good rest of the night since we’d already driven for hours #i got to meet the band at the merch table which was really cool and they gave me a free signed CD & sticker & friendship bracelet because— #they felt bad for me. which was very sweet (i also bought a shirt) #i know i should be grateful i was even able to go to the concert. and i still had fun but part of me will always be heartbroken #because financially/geographically it’s not smart to go to another show even further away just to see a 25 minute set when i’ve already got #the merch & all. plus i can listen to them on Spotify #i can only hope they come to a location closer to where i live #but there’s no guarantee because they’re so underground. they only resurfaced because of stupid tiktok & they’re only popular enough to be— #half of an opening act. so they could potentially never go on tour again #if i had more of a platform i would boost their music more but i don’t #i know it’ll be okay. it’s just a lot of things have been going shitty lately and i thought this would make me feel better and it just— #went to shit #tw vent #rose.txt

[luobingmeis]

lrb i think something very. interesting. that has cropped up from the push for “good pure moral media” is that it has simultaneously brought the “push for representation” movement—something that is good and should be promoted bc all different types of people should be represented in media, not just the white/cis/het/able-bodied—to this idea that media should at all times be Representative. like maybe it’s just a slight difference but i think a lot abt that post that occasionally goes around that’s like “if ur writing just to check of a series of boxes in representation, ur gonna end up with very flat characters.” like, yes, A Lot of the conversation abt representation also began with a lot of media falling into the trope that the only Black/queer/disabled character was also the villain, which then in turn causes negative associations while also feeding into stereotypes one way or another, so i won’t discredit that. but Now it’s like. how much media upholds itself on “finally being pure representation.” finally showing “good people.” like yes at all times u should be cognizant of Who ur representing and in What way (who is the villain, who is the antagonist, who is being upheld as the good heroic one, etc), but sometimes it just feels like. “everyone in this media has to be good and pure to prove it’s not like degenerative ~other~ media” (op’s note: heavy sarcasm there) or it feels like “if we don’t represent everyone here in a way that is relatable to every viewer and if they are not all good and pure then we will be torn apart.” which then feeds into the concept of “relatability” which, again, i feel like used to be about how like. you can relate to a character even if they are not like you (which tbh i believe that you shouldn’t have to relate to a character at all to enjoy and understand a story but i digress bc the main point and this one are not mutually exclusive), and now has become a bit. hm. like things are upheld as universally relatable Because of how good and pure it is? and that it Should be relatable and if it isn’t that’s Your problem.” or the even more fun “why are you consuming this media if you don’t relate to it/the characters aren’t like you” because apparently fiction is made solely so you can relate to it and not because it’s art that can be, yes, related to, but also appreciated and understood without needing to point at it and be like “that guy is like me.”

which is all to say i think more people need to read more books where the characters you love do stuff that makes you say “hey that’s fucked up.” and then you realize you still love the character and it does not change your Real Person Morals because you have come to the realization that the books you are reading as an adult are meant to entertain and are not the same as the books you read when you were five years old (you know, the ones that were meant to teach you that lying is bad and hitting people is wrong).

which is all to say (part two) that we should also not go completely opposite end of the spectrum bc that is how we cycle back to “””coincidentally””” making the only minority character the villain and perpetuating stereotypes left and right. so maybe there’s a nice middle ground.

#anyways i think ************ is fun and cute but the way the fans are showing their whole entire ass on twitter #upholding it as the epitome of good pure representation while also being very racist abt it #has really got me thinking #and also my more hot take i have begun to hate the push for needing to relate to characters #*hot take in a sarcastic/joking way. if i could edit tags on mobile i would take that out bc it feels dismissive of the prev point #and i am someone who has /related/ to characters #and still do!! #but sometimes it feels like. #there is this idea that if u cannot relate and project #and treat a professionally published character as just a mold for u to shape and take away from canon #and essentially make into an oc #then there’s something wrong with the media #also furthermore the discussion that crops up abt ‘reading abt people u dont relate to’ is so strange #bc there was such a push to publish all different kinds of stories #(rightfully so) #but now sometimes u see discourse and it’s like #people very much view consuming media as just a way to see urself /and only that and nothing else/ #and thus if u consume something that doesn’t represent who u are- u must have bad intentions #(which isn’t to say that relating or wanting to see urself is inherently bad #absolutely not! #but it’s like. art in general needs to be made and treated as /more/ #bc if it just works to represent and nothing else #we will just keep having these moral panics and less and less nuance)

[rotisseries]

this fandom really need to remember that liking villains is perfectly valid as long as people don't go around excusing morally-wrong behaviors.

i mean I'm hesitant to say things like "make sure you're not excusing morally wrong behaviors!" because. it's just like. an annoying attitude to have, like people don't want to have to post about their favorite blorbo War Crimes Mcgee with a paragraph long "DISCLAIMER: AS A FAN OF WAR CRIMES MCGEE, I DO NOT CONDONE WAR CRIMES NOR EXCUSE HIS ACTIONS" and also that is an annoying fandom culture to have to live in. like sometimes it's fun to just be like "haha yeah it was hot and sexy and cool when that villain killed all those people"

but like. everyone has their line in the sand for what's "too far" for a fictional character right? and everyone's is different, but for me and most people absolute no goes are things that feel, too real? I guess? like. racism, homophobia, domestic abuse, etc. are things that are always too far for me to continue liking a character. it's gross and unsatisfying to watch, these are things you're pretty likely to deal with in real life based on your personal life experience, and there’s really overall no way for it to be an enjoyable thing in the story right? but just generic murder is NOT most people's line in the sand

which is why like. there's a difference to me between b1lly stans and henry creel stans. like I just find henry stans annoying because of their lack of commitment mostly. they're all like "actually I theorize that he DIDN'T murder those people" BORING. say he did and you find it hot and sexy idc. also I don't find henry that interesting so by extension I'm not interested in the fanclub. but there’s nothing that actually grosses me out about him having a fanclub, because the murder is fictional and telekinetic and inseparable from the supernatural plot like I'm never going to run into a man who's actually murdered people with his mind and I'm DEFINITELY never going to run into people who hear about real not fictional telekinetic child murder and decide he's cool and sexy and also didn't do it or whatever

but b1lly. well. b1lly is a very real type of violence. there's lots of racist abusers and there’s lots of people who defend them so I just. can't get behind it at all. you DO have a point though that it would maybe be marginally better if they'd at least ADMIT that he'd done this shit lol

so yeah this isn't to say that like. someone's favorite character and how they talk about them is NEVER a red flag, but "this is my favorite character Child Murderer Jones, he murders children and gleefully boasts about all the child murder on screen, and I love him very much and have edited him with cat ears" is fairly standard fandom behavior and not worth moralizing, imo. and sometimes this fandom gets a little puritan about fairly standard fandom behavior

#like. do you know how many fandoms I've been in where “the murder was hot” is the normal take? imagine if we all acted crazy about that lmao #another thing I think contributing to how weird I find a character fanclub is will be something like #what other parts of the story you have to ignore for it #like b1lly stans kind of have to entirely ignore lucas and max's storylines for that shit lmao #and having no sympathy or interest in the story of a black kid dealing with antagonistic white men #or the girl dealing with horrible abuse is pretty gross #but like. henry stans don't really have the same problem bc again. it's a bunch of fake supernatural child murder #also disclaimer fandom isn't activism and hating b1lly isn't the end all be all of activism #but there ARE certain characters in media where I do actively think worse of you for liking them #and I do think it's a sign you need to examine some internal bias #also I apologize for bringing up b1lly that may come across like I read your ask as also referring to him #I didn't really I just also mentioned him in the tags that this is about. so like #especially bc you say “villain” and I feel like that's too fun of a word for him #like “villain” makes me think of fun larger than life fantastical criminals #b1lly is just a very real asshole dickwad #ask #anon #this got a little rambly I didn't mean for that to happen

[stardustedknuckles]

Figuring out I have ocd tendencies is like "oh so most people don't have a rage response to getting certain songs stuck in their heads, ok."

#Like it's not just annoying #It is all consuming and breaks through other thoughts #The rage is from helplessness and you'd never see it on my face #It feels like my brain is baking with the effort I'm putting in to think of literally any other song #But the harder I try sometimes the deeper the grooves get from the stuck song #Until it actually feels like a phantom kind of hot pain behind my eyes #When I was a kid I wouldn't be able to stop humming or whistling it because I was trying to get it out #Like if I made enough noise or got to the end enough times it might let me go #Chronic-les