So satisfying to know that every member of Team Greens is dying like shit / having a pathetic death. 🤭
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Midnight Pals: Magic Systems
[at Unicorn Fuck Club]
Brandon Sanderson: hey robert what kind of magic rules do you have
Sanderson: in my fantasy world, there's 18 laws of magic
Sanderson: sorted into 23 categories and 65 sub-directories
Robert Jordan: huh
Jordan: well in my world, girls do girl magic and boys do boy magic
Sanderson: wait what?
Jordan: girls do girl magic and boys do boy magic
Sanderson: how does that work
Jordan: saidin is stored in the balls
Jordan: why, how does your magic work
Sanderson: ah well if you experience an emotion in my fantasy world
Sanderson: then a sprite representing that emotion with physically appear and dance around
Jordan: is that like Big Mouth then
Sanderson: what
Jordan: its a cartoon show
Sanderson:
Sanderson: oh idk maybe
Sanderson: i haven't seen it
Sanderson: i only watch saturday's warrior on loop
Jordan: look, i just think it makes sense
Jordan: that the fundamental mystery powers of the universe would bisect neatly along binary gender lines
JK Rowling: goddamnit!!!
Rowling: why didn't i think of that
Rowling: ugh, inssstead i only have magic dividing people into uebermensssches and untermensssches
Rowling: it could have been sssso much more!
Rowling: sssso in my world
Rowling: the sssuperior wizard raccce issss sssimply born knowing magic
Sanderson: right, right
Rowling: then they have to go to sssschool
Rowling: you know, to learn
Rowling:
Rowling: magic
Rowling: alssso there are bad wizardsss who want to exterminate non-wizardssss
Rowling: the bad wizardsss represssent queer people now
Rowling: that's why we need to get them before they get us
Rowling: anyway if you're an elected repressentative writing eliminationalisssst lawsss, feel free to reference my fictional booksss for jussstification
Tolkien:
Martin:
Rowling: i don't get it, that alwaysss getsss a big hand on mumsnet
Diane Duane: in my world, anyone can learn magic
Rowling: SHUT UP DUANE
Duane: from a book
Rowling: SHUT UP
Duane: you can get it at the library
John Bellairs: oh yeah i think i've seen that book
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Show Jaime:
“I know I just slept with Brienne who I have a deep attachment to, and I’m about six seasons deep into a redemption arch but Ima peace out and get crushed by rocks with my sister wife”
Book Jaime literally in the middle of reading a letter from Cersei begging him to come and save her:
“I wonder what brienne is doing right now”
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Lucian's Library 2
Feel free to suggest never written books you wish you could read.
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My villain origin story is D&D completely changing Brienne and Arya attitude towards girlhood.
There is NO WAY Arya would say "most girls are stupid" in the books. Even the Sansa/Arya "hate" is INSANE because book Arya thinks often about her sister and she misses her. The ones putting Arya against Sansa were the people that were comparing them (Sansa looks like her mother and she's more skilled in dancing, singing and knitting, while Arya looks more like her father, so less "feminine" and less cut out for those activities). Also for the record, she never thinks Sansa is dumb or stupid because she's more feminine, but instead feels bad that she can't be like her. She doesn't hate girlish activities or think they are stupid, she just doesn't feel able to do them. Also in the last seasons we see Arya becoming a "killing-robot", while in the books she has a DEVELOPING emotional sphere since SHE'S 9! NINE! at the beginning of the books.
This whole argument can go for Brienne too. We got show Brienne calling Jaime a woman as an insult, while book Brienne would NEVER say that. Like Arya, Brienne suffered from the pressure of not being able to meet those unrealistic standards that rule the lifes of all the women in the asoiaf world, mostly because of her physical appearance. She learned how to fight because she felt like becoming a knight was her only choice.
Why did D&D felt like Arya and Brienne needed to dislike their gender in order for them to be good at swordsmanship? I would REALLY like to know.
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The Other said something in a language that Will did not know; his voice was like the cracking of ice on a winter lake, and the words were mocking.
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I’m doing a reread of World of Ice and Fire, and I just realized that in the dedication, you can see where the maester who purportedly wrote the book erased Robert and then Joffrey’s names because the kings kept dying on him while he was writing.
But he kept the rest of the dedication the same because the titles never changed between the kings.
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Lady Bethany Bracken, sister of Barba Bracken and seventh mistress to Aegon IV Targaryen 🥀
Art by @rozsesandart
Art masterlist - kofi - socials - commissions info
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I think one of the worst things the HotD fandom did is their reaction to Alicent post-birth. There were so many posts flying around stating Alicent is a bad mom because she looked uninterested in her babies and used the nannies.
It never occurred to anyone that the girl who lost her mom at a young age would struggle with motherhood? It never occurred to anyone that the girl in a loveless marriage who was forcefully impregnated may not be happy after giving birth? People really looked at those sad, disassociated eyes as she cradled a baby the size of her upper body and thought, "Yeah she's the monster here".
To compare with Rhaenyra:
Alicent was a child giving birth to children, while Rhaenyra was at least a little bit older (Still not good for either of them).
Alicent was forced into pregnancy with a man she doesn't love, while Rhaenyra was able to choose and consent to her partner.
Alicent had no support system: her mom died when she was young, Viserys became uninterested after Aegon's birth wore off, and her own father was only interested in the kids' claim to the throne (Otto also left court- which made Alicent even more alone). Rhaenyra had Laenor, Harwin Strong, and seems Viserys is a bit more supportive towards her (Not by much though. It's like comparing a finger nail and a hair's width).
For the record, I don't think Rhaenyra's situation is that much better and both still have it bad. Rhaenyra was still expected to have kids and had them way to young.
I am trying to point out the fandom unjustly went after a teen mom/wife who probably suffered from postpartum depression.
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.
“The Blacks are on the same level as the Greens.”
“There are no sides to choose, they are all equally bad.”
“I’m the people’s team, but says mostly pro-green things.”
“I'm team Greens because they care about the people !”
Besides I note that out of 4 crimes out of 2 really counts in my eyes.
Blood and Cheese was a response to the murder of Lucerys, caused by the Greens, and the taxes were the fault of (well get that !) again the Greens who had emptied all the coffers !
Which means that only crimes number 2 and 3 are real crimes for me. And I don't know about you, but they always seem less serious than those of the Greens.
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Midnight Pals: Cyclical Time
[at unicorn fuck club]
Robert Jordan: thus as the wheel of time turns, so pass the ages of man!
Jordan: a new epoch of magic and mystery settles upon the land!
Jordan: it was an age of the distant past
Jordan: and an age yet to come!
Tolkien: wait a second
Tolkien: which was it
Jordan: the gleeman vish taral’bid came to seek the blessing of ai’shidoo
Tolkien: you’re dropping names like we should be familiar with them
Jordan: you should be, we’ve been over this before
Tolkien: we have?
Jordan: in an age of the distant past
Jordan: and an age yet to come
Jordan: it’s an epic tale of good & evil just like your lord of the rings
Jordan: but the selling point here is that time is cyclical
Tolkien: oh that’s interesting, i thought time was linear
Jordan: oh no not at all
Jordan: first you have to understand that space time is curved
Jordan: so nineva al’uvyf is all “oh you menfolk with yer dillying and your dallying! Guess it’s up to us womenfolk to fix this!”
Jordan: “what’s that there? mud on the floor? ooo and i suppose you menfolk expect us womenfolk to clean that up mm? Just like you menfolk!”
Jordan: just imagine every woman in this world is that one really annoying Irish chick in Star Trek the Next Generation
Jordan: of course men channel saidin for dude magic
Jordan: which is stronger, like how a dude is stronger than a lady
Jordan: but the lady magic of ladies? well that‘s better for working together
Jordan: the real magic is friendship
Jordan: let me tell you
Jordan: women, huh?
Jordan: who can understand them?
Jordan: bitches be chanelin’ saidar
Jordan: so perin was on an epic quest to the desert of yarbalno
GRR Martin: how smooth are the skirts?
Jordan: oh actually they’re kinda wrinkled
Jordan: better smooth ‘em out
Jordan: thanks for reminding me!
Jordan: wait a second
Jordan: are you making fun of me!?
Jordan: you know if that’s how you’re gonna be, I’m just gonna go over to midnight society!
Tolkien: you can’t do that, robert! You’re not telling a horror story!
Jordan: well, there’s a dark one, that’s pretty spooky
Jordan: you know what, just SHUT UP
[at midnight society]
Jordan: anyway that’s when i came over here
Barker: so how smooth are the skirts
Edward Lee: bro i don’t like to brag but
Lee: i been to tar valon
Lee: if you know what i mean
Koontz: i don’t know what you mean
Angela Carter: get off it, you have not been
Carter: you wouldn’t be able to find it
Tabitha King: oh ho ho! Zing!
Patricia Highsmith: i’ve been
Robert Jordan: Braids -- tugged.
Jordan: Skirts -- smoothed.
Jordan: Unbothered. Moisturized. Happy. In My Lane. Focused. Flourishing.
[at unicorn fuck club]
Robert Jordan: thus as the wheel of time turns, so pass the ages of man!
Jordan: it was an age of the distant past
Jordan: and an age yet to come!
Tolkien: wait a second
Tolkien:
Tolkien: whoa, déjà vu
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I think it's very funny that in Game of Thrones Catlyn gets a coded letter from Lysa, because you might assume it's in some kind of Westerosi Pig Latin, but if you've ever spoken to teenage girls you'll know that they just use ridiculous nicknames and weird references. There's a chance what the note actually said was:
"Goldilocks Cece and Uncle Blackfish's fanboy mothered Old J, stay Frey" instead of "Queen Cersei and Jamie killed Jon Arryn, be cautious"
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One thing that always gets me, is Quellon Greyjoy. You got this ✨tall✨ scary dude who could have been a big fucking threat but decides to be a reformer. He tries to fix the reputation of the Iron Islands and the Greyjoys. And he dies in the most Ironborn way, in battle at sea, probably thinking at least "I did something to be proud of and the Islands are on the way to a better relationship with Westeros". But then his kids are literally an eldritch horror, a dumb thot, a religious fanatic and one short king and they just undo all of his work in like five mins. You cannot convince me that Quellon was not looking up from the depths of the Drowned God's watery halls like
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give me bitter and vengeful Rhaenyra, full of rage and heartbreak and spitefulness. 
give me power hungry Alicent, paranoid and regretful and melancholic.
give me Rhaenyra, proud and headstrong laughing in the face of death.
give me Alicent, hateful and prideful until the bitter end.
give me flawed female characters, give me women who can’t be fixed by the narrative, in fact they are doomed.
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