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fatecantstopme · 3 months

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What I'd Give

Pairing: Dean Winchester x plus size!reader

Summary: When Dean is gravely injured on a hunt, (Y/N) makes a deal to save him--a deal that might just cost her everything.

Warnings: canon violence, swearing, mentions of death/dying. SMUT, dom/sub vibes, choking kink, overstimulation, oral (F receiving), unprotected sex (P in V)

You screamed helplessly as you watched your best friend and fellow hunter be thrown from the window across the room. You'd just managed to stab the demon you were fighting a mere second before you heard the breaking of glass.

You yanked the angel blade out of the demon's chest and ran straight towards the demon who'd just tossed your friend out the window. You stabbed the demon in the back, bringing an end to the fight.

You looked out the window and saw the horrific scene three stories down. Your heart clenched in your chest as you raced to the stairs, making it outside in record time.

"Dean!" you cried as you reached his broken body. "No, no, no, no..."

You were almost afraid to touch him--afraid to search for a pulse and not find one. You exhaled sharply and pulled yourself together, placing a firm hand against his neck. You could feel a very weak pulse beneath your fingertips and you knew he was in trouble.

The fall had certainly broken some bones and he likely had internal injuries of some kind. The glass from the window had sliced his skin in a million places, and you were worried he would have severe head trauma as well.

Normally, you would call out to Castiel and he would come running to save Dean, but this wasn't a normal day. Cas had been missing in action for weeks, and neither you nor the Winchesters knew where he was.

Dean's safety--his survival--depended solely on you. The two of you had been hunting alone, while Sam was out helping Garth on a different hunt. You'd hunted together countless times, but neither of you had ever been this seriously injured.

You knew he was dying--as surely as if there was a neon sign screaming "death!" above his head. You couldn't stand the thought of losing him, so you made a decision that would change your life.

"Anyone who's listening, I need your help," you called out. "Please...I will do anything...just save him."

You waited in silence for a few moments, hoping against hope someone would hear your call and take pity on you. You weren't exactly on good terms with most angels, but you couldn't help but hope at least one of them would care.

You heard the soft flap of wings that always signaled the arrival of an angel and you looked up hopefully. You inhaled sharply when your eyes met the glowing red eyes of the man who had come to rescue you--or should you say, archangel.

"Well hello, (Y/N). It's nice to see you again."

"Lucifer," you hissed lowly.

"In the flesh!"

"What are you doing here?"

"I heard your call," he said simply. "And well, let's be honest, no one else is coming to help you."

"Did you come here to gloat?"

"Of course not. Even I'm not cruel enough to find joy in the death of Dean Winchester."

"Then why did you come?"

"To save him, obviously."

Surprise lit up your face. Out of all the responses you'd expected, that hadn't been on the list. "Pardon?"

Lucifer smiled darkly. "For a small fee, of course."

"Ahh," you acknowledged. "That sounds more like it. What do you want?"

"Nothing too extravagant."

"Lucifer..." you growled.

"As you can see, this vessel isn't doing so well." He gestured to himself and you had to admit, he looked like absolute shit. "In fact, it's dying...which means I'm in need of a new one."

"Absolutely not," you said instantly. "He would never say yes to you."

Lucifer smirked. "I wasn't referring to him."

Your eyes widened. "I'm not an archangel vessel," you whispered.

"No, but you are a vessel. And I think you're strong enough to contain me long enough to find me a better one."

You swallowed thickly. There was no way you were going to agree to this...you knew what being an archangel's vessel would do to you and you weren't exactly interested in being strapped to a nuclear bomb.

"No," you said firmly.

"Suit yourself," he said with a shrug. "But just remember, Dean's death will be on your hands now."

You exhaled in defeat as you looked down at the man in your arms. You knew he was close to death--no hospital would be able to save him. Lucifer was your only option.

"Save him first," you whispered.

Lucifer smirked, knowing he'd won. "I would, (Y/N), but this vessel is simply too weak. I would need your body in order to save him."

You looked up into his dark eyes and considered his words. "I don't trust you."

"You would be a fool to trust me after all we've been through. However, I need you...and I need Dean alive and well to help me find an archangel vessel. Possessing you is a good motivator for him."

You clenched your jaw as you thought about your options. It took you mere moments to realize you didn't have any. You would rather die than allow Dean to...so your decision was made in an instant.

"Fine," you murmured softly. You looked up at the monster standing before you and exhaled slowly. "Yes," you breathed.

Lucifer wasted no time--immediately exiting his vessel and entering your body, taking over in an instant.

It was painful, feeling his energy within you, and you knew with absolute certainty you wouldn't be surviving this--no way in hell.

To your surprise, you were fully aware of everything happening around you. You could still see and hear--but you had no control over your body in any way.

Lucifer--you--reached out to Dean and touched him. Your palms began to glow and you watched the various wounds on his body heal quickly. His bright green eyes slowly blinked open and he looked up at you in surprise and confusion.

"What happened?" he groaned.

"You got tossed out a window," your voice said, though it was not you speaking.

Dean sat up and rubbed at his head. He looked down at himself, clearly surprised by his lack of serious injuries. "I fell three stories down..."

You nodded.

"How am I not dead?"

You felt your lips curl into a smile--a slightly cruel smile you knew was not your own. "You're welcome."

Dean's eyes narrowed in confusion. "What?"

Unbeknownst to you, your eyes began to glow red, alerting Dean to the presence of someone else in your body--and there was only one creature you knew whose eyes glowed red.

"Lucifer?" Dean yelled angrily.

"The one and only," he replied.

"How the hell...why are you...where's (Y/N)?"

"Oh she's right here," he said with a smile, tapping the side of your head. "Watching and listening like a little creep."

"Well it is my head, you asshole," you mumbled.

"Doesn't mean it's not creepy," Lucifer's voice hissed inside your mind.

You didn't like the idea that Lucifer could hear your thoughts and speak to you like that...and it made you wonder what else he could see within your mind.

"Everything," he teased darkly.

"Fuck."

"Get the hell out of her body," Dean growled.

"Not a chance, buck-o. (Y/N) was kind enough to invite me in, so I think I'll stay a while."

Dean pulled an angel blade out of his back pocket and pointed it at you. You knew he would never use it if it meant killing you too. It was an idle threat and Lucifer knew it.

Lucifer simply laughed. "You're not going to use that, so put it away."

"Get out of her and I won't have to."

"Oh please, you won't kill her."

Dean's expression remained impassive, but you could see his resolve waning. You knew him too well to miss the small tells. Unfortunately, that meant Lucifer knew him just as well.

"Let's make this easy on ourselves," he began. "Everything (Y/N) knows, I know. Every memory, every thought, every feeling, everything. So put the damn blade down before I have to break your arm."

You could see the anger on Dean's face, but he lowered the blade and slipped it back inside his jacket. "Why the hell did she invite you in?"

"You were about 5 minutes from death and she couldn't save you."

"So what, she called out to you?" Dean asked in disbelief.

"She called out to everyone...I'm just the only one who responded." You felt your eyes glance around in slight concern. "Speaking of, we should probably get out of here, just in case."

Dean nodded and lead the way to the Impala, which was parked a short distance away. You got into the passenger seat like usual and you saw Dean tense up at your proximity. He clearly didn't like the idea of the Devil riding shotgun.

"So why did you heal me?"

"I need your help," Lucifer admitted.

"What makes you think I'd ever help you?"

"I knew you wouldn't, which is why I convinced (Y/N) to let me have her body for a little while."

"Convinced?"

"I may have told her a little white lie--that my old vessel was too weak for me to save you. She didn't exactly offer herself up, but she didn't fight very hard when she realized I was her only option."

"You slimy son of a bitch," you growled.

"I'm the devil, (Y/N). What did you expect?"

"You son of a bitch," Dean mumbled, echoing your sentiments. "What exactly do you want from me?"

"I need to find an actual archangel vessel. I'm getting tired of jumping from vessel to vessel...they keep burning out. It's rather tiresome."

"Well you're not touching Sam, or me for that matter."

"I wouldn't dream of it," he insisted. "I know there are others out there, but I need someone with your connections to help me locate one."

Dean raised his eyebrows. "My connections?"

"Well, Bobby Singer's connections, really...but the best way to him is through you, and the best way to you is through her."

Dean exhaled angrily. You knew he was mad at you just as much as he was mad at Lucifer. You were surprised he hadn't given you an earful yet, even with Lucifer listening in.

"Fine," Dean grumbled. "But the moment we find you a vessel, I want you out of her body. Do you understand me?"

"Perfectly," Lucifer answered.

"Now just sit there quietly until we get to Bobby's, understand? I want absolute silence."

"Well that's boring--"

"I can't stand hearing you speak with her voice, okay? So shut up."

Lucifer smirked, but fell silent, deciding instead to annoy you.

"He's mad at you, isn't he?"

"I said yes to you...of course he's mad."

"Does he know?"

"Know what?"

"How you feel about him?"

"I would really like you to shut the hell up now, Lucifer," you hissed.

"But I'm so bored," he whined.

"I don't give a damn and neither does Dean. It's about 2 hours to Bobby's place...can you be silent for 2 hours?"

"Fine," he grumbled. "It'll give me more time to dig around in your brain anyway..."

"Shit--no!"

You tried to shut him out of your mind as best as you could, but you could still feel him rooting around in your head...making himself at home and digging into memories and thoughts and feelings that were never meant to be shared with another soul.

**********

"What an unsightly place," Lucifer grumbled as he--you--followed Dean up the stairs to Bobby's door.

Dean shot an annoyed glare in your direction, but didn't comment.

"Bobby!" he called as he entered the house.

Bobby came into view and offered you both a tired smile. "Hey you two. What brings you to Sioux Falls?"

"We were close by on a hunt and now we need your help," Dean answered.

"Sure. Come on in."

Neither you, nor Lucifer, had said a word of greeting to Bobby, which struck the older man as odd.

"You alright, (Y/N)?"

"Oh I'm just peachy," your voice answered.

Bobby's eyes narrowed at you, immediately noticing your voice was off. Besides, you didn't tend to talk to Bobby like that.

Before Bobby could question you, Dean spoke up. "We need to find an archangel vessel...as fast as possible."

Bobby stared at him for a moment. "Dean, you are an archangel vessel."

"Yeah, well I need one to house the devil--and it ain't gonna be me or Sam."

"Why the hell do you need a vessel for Lucifer?"

Your hand reached out and tapped Bobby on the shoulder. Judging by Bobby's shocked expression, you assumed your eyes were once again glowing red. Bobby quickly took a step back, looking between you and Dean in confusion.

"It's a long story," Dean muttered. "But I don't want him riding shotgun in (Y/N)'s head any longer than necessary, so we need to find him another vessel."

"Preferably before this current one starts to rot from the inside out," Lucifer added.

"Seriously, Lucifer?"

"Well that is essentially what happens, you know. I wouldn't want to damage such a pretty face."

"Oh fuck off," you grumbled.

"Why in god's name would she say yes to you?" Bobby asked angrily.

"To save my life, okay?" Dean snapped. "Look--we don't have time for this. I need your help to find another vessel. Please."

Bobby sighed and crossed the room to his desk, which was covered in books and papers--an organizational system only Bobby understood. He eyed you warily, but he didn't comment on the situation further.

"I assume you know how to find an archangel vessel," Lucifer commented.

"Perhaps you could enlighten me," Bobby responded.

Lucifer sighed and began to tell Bobby what he needed to look for. You ignored the words coming from our own mouth, instead focusing on Dean. You could see how upset he was and it made you feel incredibly foolish. You hated seeing him like this, but you didn't regret your decision. The mere fact he was alive to be angry made this whole thing worth it.

"How long do you think it'll take?" Dean asked, interrupting your thoughts.

"A week or two--maybe a little more," Bobby answered.

Dean looked in your direction, eyeing you with concern. "Will (Y/N) last that long?"

"Might wanna keep it closer to two weeks," Lucifer replied.

"You're lying, aren't you?" you asked quietly.

"Do you want me to tell them the truth?"

You sighed internally. "I think Dean deserves to know."

"A week would be even better," Lucifer said aloud.

Dean stared at you, worry deepening the lines on his face. His gaze traced your face, searching for any signs of deception--or maybe signs of damage.

"Well then," Bobby muttered. "Better get started."

**********

You sat in the corner, feet up on another chair as you watched Dean and Bobby. You could tell both of them were extremely worried, but their focus was on finding another vessel. They didn't have time to dive into their fears for your life.

Lucifer, on the other hand, seemed to think he had all the time in the world. He was quite happy to torture you instead of providing the two hunters with any assistance.

"Why haven't you told Dean?" he asked for what had to be the 1,000th time.

"There's nothing to tell, Lucifer. Would you just back off?"

"You're really no fun, you know that?"

"Good. This isn't supposed to be fun for you."

"I can make it fun."

"I'd really rather you not."

"Too late!" he said gleefully.

You could feel him poking around inside your head again, searching for something he could use to hurt you with--or hurt Dean with. You tried to keep him away from your darkest secrets, from the things you'd never shared with another soul, not even Dean. But you noticed it was getting harder and harder to resist him. You weren't sure if it was because he was so strong or if you were becoming weaker. Either way, it was only a matter of time before Lucifer found something he shouldn't.

Unfortunately for you, that moment came much sooner than you'd anticipated.

"(Y/N)--fuck, I mean Lucifer...can I talk to you outside for a moment?" Dean asked suddenly, rising from his chair and heading outside without waiting for a reply.

"Well this should be fun," you mumbled internally.

"I assure you," Lucifer mocked. "It will be."

You felt your body moving, feet heading after Dean whether you wanted to or not.

Once outside, Dean turned to face you, eyes filled with a multitude of emotions you couldn't stand to see. "I want to talk to (Y/N)."

"Oh come now," Lucifer said. "You know that's not how it works."

"I know you can shut up and take a backseat. So that's what I want."

"Hmm..." Lucifer hummed thoughtfully. "You know, I'd rather not. Besides, (Y/N) doesn't really feel like talking to you right now."

"Fuck you, Lucifer. Let me talk to him!"

"Sorry, sweetheart. Ain't happening."

"Somehow I doubt that," Dean grumbled angrily.

"You can doubt it all you want, but I'm the one physically inside her head. I know what she's thinking and let me tell you, it's not very complimentary of you."

"What?" Dean asked in surprised confusion.

"You have no idea what she really thinks of you, do you?"

"Lucifer, what the hell are you doing?" you growled.

He ignored you, instead focusing on his conversation with Dean.

"She's my best friend," Dean responded. "What more do I need to know?"

Lucifer laughed cruelly. "I'm sorry, that's just too funny. You think she's your best friend?"

You could see the look of hurt cross Dean's face for a moment, but he quickly covered it up.

"Sorry," Lucifer said, laughter subsiding. "It's just hilarious that you think she cares about you that much."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"She's tired of you, Dean. She's tired of your stubbornness, your self-loathing, your reckless behavior. She's tired of everything to do with you. She doesn't care about you--not really, anyway. You annoy the shit out of her, but she puts up with you because she feels like she has to."

You fought with everything you had to overpower Lucifer and take control of your mind and body. Not a single word Lucifer was uttering was true and you desperately wanted to tell Dean the truth.

"Stop fighting, (Y/N). You can't win," Lucifer whispered.

"Stop lying to him and I'll stop fighting," you insisted.

"No. I'm simply having too much fun."

Dean's face was impassive to the average person, but you saw through the mask on his face, and so did Lucifer. "I don't believe you," Dean said softly.

"You don't have to believe me. They're not my words. I'm simply relaying (Y/N)'s thoughts," Lucifer said with a shrug. "Haven't you ever wondered how she puts up with all your shit? You're not exactly walking sunshine, Dean. You're one of the most damaged humans I've ever met."

Dean inhaled deeply. "If she hates me so much, why does she stay?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

Neither you nor Dean knew what Lucifer was going to say next...and his words cut deeper than you'd expected them to.

"She's in love with your brother," Lucifer sneered.

"Lucifer, no!" you screamed.

Dean's eyes widened and shock settled onto his face. He turned around, his back to you in an attempt to collect himself.

You fought even harder...you needed to get this son of a bitch out of your body. It felt like you were locked inside your own mind with no way out. Lucifer was too strong and the harder you fought, the weaker you became. You quickly realized the more energy you expended, the stronger he became...there was no use in fighting him.

"You're a monster," you whispered.

"They call me the devil for a reason.'"

You didn't bother responding to him. Your heart was aching for Dean and all you wanted was to comfort him. You knew exactly where his head would be at right now and it was killing you.

He'd always compared himself to Sam--at least as long as you'd known him. He seemed to think Sam was better than him in a lot of ways and certainly more lovable. The mere idea that you agreed with that sentiment...that you loved Sam...it would break him and you knew it.

"Sam is better than you in every way," Lucifer added, stoking the fire. "Why would anyone love you when they could have Sam? He's everything you're not...sure of himself, confident, open and honest. Sam is better for (Y/N) than you could ever be."

Dean turned back around, face a mask of impassiveness once again. "Let's find you a vessel so you can get the hell out of our lives," he said in a low voice. "Besides, I wouldn't want to get in the way of Sam and (Y/N)'s love."

If you'd been capable of crying, you knew the tears would be streaming down your face in that moment. Your heart ached in a way you were unfamiliar with and you hoped Lucifer could feel the pain the same way you did.

"Why?" you whispered.

"Why what?"

"Why'd you say that to him?"

Lucifer laughed. "Simple...I knew it would hurt both of you. You're in love with him and if his reaction was anything to go by, it looks like he feels the same."

"We're both helping you right now. Why can't you just be grateful for 10 fucking minutes?" you hissed.

"Where's the fun in that?"

You knew the question was rhetorical, so you didn't bother responding. Instead, you quietly watched Dean walk away and you knew he was going to lose his shit. You could feel it as clearly as your own emotions.

"Let's follow him," Lucifer said happily.

"Let him take his anger out without an audience," you snapped.

Lucifer ignored you and quietly followed after Dean, keeping a distance to avoid being noticed.

Once Dean was farther away from the house and seemingly alone, he grabbed a crowbar from a nearby bench and began to beat the ever-loving-shit out of a junker car.

If you'd wondered about Dean's feelings for you before (and you had), you didn't wonder anymore. It was clear he cared about you in the same way you cared about him and you hated seeing him in such pain.

You wanted nothing more than to go to him, but Lucifer was much happier standing to the side and watching Dean suffer alone.

"Please," you whispered.

"You can tell him I'm a lying bastard if you manage to survive this."

"You and I both know that's not likely," you sighed quietly. "I don't want him to suffer and I don't want to die with him thinking I hate him."

"Pity. Guess you should have told him sooner..."

"Oh fuck off, Lucifer," you growled.

Lucifer's laughter echoed in your head and you hated him in that moment more than you could even begin to express.

**********

"You alright kid?" Bobby asked Dean when he returned to the house an hour or so later.

Lucifer, and therefore you, had returned shortly after watching Dean fall apart. When he'd dropped to his knees, tears streaming down his face, Lucifer had gotten bored and left.

"I'm fine," Dean lied. "Do you have any leads?"

"I've put out my feelers to every person I could think of. I'm sure someone will have something for me soon."

"Did you call Sam?"

Bobby shook his head. "I assumed you did."

"Call him and let him know what's going on. I'm going out."

"Where are you going?"

"Yeah, Dean," Lucifer chimed in, "where are you going?"

"The nearest bar. Don't wait up."

You tried to say his name, but your mouth refused to form the word.

As soon as Dean was out of earshot, Bobby turned his attention to you. "What the hell did you say to him?"

"Me?" Lucifer asked, feigning innocence. "Why would you think I did something?"

"Maybe because you're the devil?" Bobby answered sarcastically.

Lucifer smirked darkly. "I may have poked at all of his insecurities."

Bobby groaned. "You're a son of a bitch, you know that?"

"That's not a nice thing to say about my Father."

Bobby just glared at you and rolled his eyes. He got up and left the room and you assumed he was going to call Sam.

"I second Bobby's comment."

"I wear it like a badge of honor."

You knew exactly what Dean was going to do and it was killing you. He was going to drink until he couldn't feel a thing, pick up some random girl, and fuck her senseless--anything to feel something other than the ache in his chest. You knew him better than he knew himself...but in this moment, you desperately wished you didn't. You would give anything to not know what he was going to do.

**********

Three days later, one of Bobby's sources had a lead on a potential archangel vessel.

Dean hadn't spoken to you or Lucifer unless he absolutely had to. It was too hard to even look at your face and hearing your voice was a thousand times worse.

Sam was still out on a hunt with Garth, but he promised to be there to help as soon as he could.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Bobby asked Dean as the two of you were preparing to leave.

"The less people involved, the better. Stay here in case we need more intel," Dean responded.

"I don't like the idea of you traveling alone with Lucifer."

"I'll be fine."

Bobby didn't believe him anymore than you did, but neither of you commented on it--not that you could have if you'd wanted to.

As you/Lucifer and Dean climbed into the Impala, Dean didn't spare a glance in your direction.

"Isn't this fun?" Lucifer asked. "I've always wanted to go on a roadtrip."

Dean groaned. "What are the chances you'll be quiet during this drive?"

"Slim to none," Lucifer said with a smirk.

The response almost made Dean smile. It sounded like something you would say and technically it was your voice. He had to remind himself you weren't really talking to him--every word out of your mouth was Lucifer.

Dean took off without another word and you silently prayed this lead would pan out. You were extremely tired and it had only been about four days since Lucifer had possessed you.

By this point, you were having a hard time focusing on what was happening in the real world. You were in pain and you could feel your body weakening...you were dying and you knew it. You just hoped Dean didn't notice.

**********

By the time the three of you arrived at your destination, you were feeling terrible. You weren't even sure how much time had passed since you'd left Bobby's. In fact, you were pretty sure you'd fallen asleep very early on.

"It's been about 12 hours," Lucifer told you.

"I slept for 12 hours?"

"You're dying," he said nonchalantly. "So you're going to have a harder time staying awake."

"Great," you whispered sarcastically.

"Lucifer!" Dean growled. "You coming?"

"Of course."

Lucifer followed Dean into a building you assumed was an apartment complex. Sometime during the elevator ride, you must have fallen unconscious again, because when you opened your eyes again, you found yourself standing in a nice apartment.

Dean was talking calmly to a young man who looked moderately terrified.

"Is he the vessel?" you mumbled.

"Yes. I can feel it," Lucifer responded.

"Thank god..."

"I'm sorry, you want me to allow the literal devil to possess me?" the young man practically yelled at Dean. "That's assuming I even believe in the devil."

"Look man," Dean said with surprising calmness. "I know I sound insane, but it's all real. We need an archangel vessel and like it or not, that's you."

"What if I don't want to say yes?"

Dean grabbed him by his collar. "Then the woman he's currently wearing will die...and I will do anything to prevent that." His voice was low, barely above a growl.

The young man looked terrified, eyes wide with fear. "Are you threatening me?" he whispered.

Dean straightened out the guy's shirt and gave him a dark smile. "Of course not."

"So I have a choice?"

Lucifer chuckled. "Don't think for a moment he'll give you an option, kid."

The guy looked at you and you felt terrible for him. You understood his fear and apprehension...and it felt wrong to force Lucifer onto him. This kid didn't deserve it.

"We shouldn't be doing this," you mumbled.

"Too late, (Y/N). Dean knows he's an archangel vessel. There's no way he's going to leave without getting him to say yes."

You wanted to respond--to fight, but you couldn't. You were too weak...too tired. Everything hurt too much.

"What's it like?" the guy asked softly.

"Like being strapped to a rocket," Lucifer said snidely.

Dean shot him an annoyed glance. "You'll be fine. You were meant for this."

The guy's gaze remained fixated on you. "She looks like shit...am I going to look like that?"

Dean finally focused his gaze on your face and you saw the fear flash in his eyes. He could see you were dying. Your skin was pale, your eyes bloodshot, dark circles adorning them...your lips were cracked and there were slight lacerations appearing around your forehead and jawline.

"She wasn't meant to house the power of an archangel," Lucifer responded. "She's dying, but the same won't happen to you."

"Will she be okay if I say yes?"

"Yes," Lucifer lied smoothly.

The guy looked like he was contemplating what to do, so Dean spoke up again.

"Look, kid. She's important to me...more important to me than pretty much anyone else in this fucked up world. I would do anything to save her...she's--she's my brother's girl."

You wanted to tell him that wasn't true, but you knew it was fruitless to even try. Even still, your heart ached at his words.

"How long?" the guy asked, directing his question at Lucifer.

"As long as I want. You'll never age, never die, as long as I'm with you."

The guy nodded. "Alright. I'll do it." He stood up. "What do I need to do?"

"Just say 'yes'," Lucifer answered.

"Yes."

A bright white light filled the room and Dean had to shield his eyes. When the light faded, you were lying on the floor and Lucifer was now clearly possessing the young man they'd come to find.

"(Y/N)!" Dean yelled as he raced to your side.

Your pulse was faint and you looked even worse than you had moments before.

"Heal her," Dean demanded.

Lucifer's lips curled up in a cruel smile. "No."

"Excuse me?"

"I said no," he repeated. "I'm not interested in saving her."

"You wouldn't have a vessel without us. You owe her!"

"I'm the devil, Dean. What makes you think I give a damn about debts?"

Dean stared at him, anger and terror fighting for control in equal measure. He stood up and went to lunge at Lucifer, but the archangel simply disappeared, leaving you and Dean completely helpless and alone.

**********

Dean had rushed you to the hospital and was currently sitting in the waiting room, hoping to hear something about your condition.

Sam rushed into the room, eyes scanning for his brother. When he saw him, Sam crossed the distance and wrapped Dean in a tight hug.

"How is she?" Sam asked.

"I don't know," Dean said quietly. "But it doesn't look good."

"She's strong, Dean."

"I don't think that matters...her body was never meant to house an archangel and she managed to do it for almost a week. She's dying, Sammy."

Sam's eyes filled with tears, but he blinked rapidly to keep them from falling.

Dean's heart ached, seeing his brother look so upset. He would be lying if he said he didn't feel a broken emptiness in his soul--a space you used to occupy. But he needed to push past his own pain for his brother's sake. After all...you weren't his.

"For (Y/N)?" a doctor called into the waiting room.

Dean and Sam practically ran in her direction. Dean's heart clenched in his chest as he took in the doctor's sad expression.

"Are you (Y/N)'s family?"

Both men nodded.

"Come with me, please," the doctor said quietly.

They followed her to a private waiting area and Dean's dread increased significantly. "What's going on?" he asked worriedly.

"Please have a seat," the doctor asked, gesturing toward the chairs against the wall. She closed the door before taking her seat across from them.

"My name's Dr. Murphy. I'm (Y/N)'s treating physician."

"I'm Sam and this is my brother Dean."

"There's no easy way to say this," Dr. Murphy said gently. "(Y/N)'s injuries are quite severe and she's in critical condition."

"But she's going to be okay, right?" Dean asked hopefully.

Dr. Murphy frowned and shook her head. "Her organs have begun to shut down...it's only a matter of time now. The best I can do is try to keep her comfortable."

"No," Dean whispered. "No, she can't--"

Sam placed a hand on Dean's shoulder, trying to comfort his brother.

"I'm very sorry," Dr. Murphy murmured.

Dean suddenly stood up. "I can't do this. I need--I need air."

He practically ran from the room and Sam got up to follow him, but Dr. Murphy placed a gentle hand on his arm. "I think it's best to give him a moment."

Sam nodded as he desperately tried to push his own emotions away. He adored you, but he knew exactly how much Dean loved you...so he knew how much pain his brother was in right now. It hurt him almost as much as losing you.

***********

Once Dean was outside, he ran around to the side of the building, desperate to be alone for a moment. He collapsed onto the ground, back against the hard stone of the hospital exterior. All of the tears he'd been pushing back for days finally poured out.

He found himself falling apart in public--something he couldn't recall doing before. He couldn't bring himself to care. You were dying and it was killing him. It was all his fault. If he hadn't been so careless, he wouldn't have gotten injured and you never would have had to beg Lucifer to save him.

He knew it wasn't a rational way of thinking, but in that moment, it didn't matter. You were about to become just another name on a never ending list of people who died because of him. He couldn't take it--it was too much.

"I know I'm not exactly on good terms with any of you and I probably don't deserve your help, but I'm not asking for myself. (Y/N) is dying and I can't save her. I'm not normally the kind of man to beg, but I'm on my knees right now...begging for just one of you to find it in yourself to give a damn. She doesn't deserve this. She's the best person I've ever known...so please. Please someone answer me. Please..." His voice was broken by the end of his short speech.

He was desperate and there was nothing he wouldn't do to save her. If no angel would help him...he wasn't above making a deal with a demon. He'd been to hell once before, and he'd do it again in a heartbeat if it meant you could live.

"Hello, Dean Winchester," a soft female voice said from beside him.

He jumped up quickly, ready to fight if need be. He hadn't even heard the woman arrive, which meant she likely wasn't human.

"Don't worry," she said gently. "I'm not here to hurt you. My name is Aliraphael."

"Aliraphael?" Dean repeated. "I've never heard of you."

She smiled. "You don't need to know my name to know what I am."

Dean swallowed thickly. "Why did you come?"

"You prayed for help. I answered."

"But why? We don't know you...what would make you wanna help us?"

Aliraphael smiled. "You, your brother, and (Y/N) have sacrificed much for this world and all of the people in it. I think you deserve a miracle."

Normally Dean wouldn't believe her, but there was something in her eyes that made him feel safe. He was inclined to trust her, but he had to be sure. "What do you want in return?"

"Nothing. This is my gift to you."

"Nothing is free."

"I understand why you may be jaded, but sometimes a gift is simply a gift. This is one of those times."

Dean nodded. "I'm choosing to trust you, but just know if you betray me, I will kill you."

She smiled. "I would expect nothing less of the great Dean Winchester."

Dean led Aliraphael into the hospital and his eyes scanned the waiting area for Sam. He wasn't there, so Dean assumed he'd gone to your room.

"Excuse me. Can you tell me what room (Y/N) (Y/L/N) is in?" Dean asked the receptionist.

The woman typed on her computer without looking up and muttered, "Room 212."

"Thanks," Dean replied. He tried to walk slowly--normally--to room 212, but every instinct in his body was screaming for him to get to you as quickly as possible.

When Dean entered the room, he saw Sam standing beside your bed, his hand wrapped tightly around yours. He was speaking softly to you and Dean felt that ache in his chest intensify.

"Sam," Dean said softly.

Sam turned towards the door, eyes red from his tears. He looked between Dean and Aliraphael in confusion. "Who's she?"

"I am Aliraphael," the angel responded. "I am here to heal (Y/N)."

Sam cut Dean a look. "What did you do?"

Dean shrugged. "I prayed. She came."

"Okay, but what did you promise her in exchange?"

"Your brother has promised me nothing. I am doing this because I wish to. I have no ulterior motive."

Sam still looked worried, but he stepped back to allow Aliraphael access to your bed. Aliraphael gently placed her hand against your forehead and closed her eyes. A soft white glow began to envelop your body and your skin began to return to normal.

After several moments, Aliraphael dropped her hand from your head and turned to Sam and Dean. "It is finished."

You started to stir in the bed and Dean's heart beat faster.

"She will awaken in a moment," Aliraphael assured them.

"Thank you," Dean whispered, unable to take his eyes off your face.

Sam echoed his brother's statement and Aliraphael smiled.

"You are all very welcome." With that, the angel disappeared as if she had never been there.

You groaned softly and your eyes slowly opened. You blinked rapidly trying to clear them and focus on the room around you.

"I have to go," Dean muttered.

"What?" Sam asked in surprise, but Dean had already exited the room.

"Sam?" you asked softly, hearing the younger Winchester's voice.

"Hey, (Y/N/N)," he murmured. "I'm here."

Your bright (y/e/c) eyes focused on his face. "What happened?"

"What do you remember?"

You thought about it for a moment and the memories of the past few days came flooding back. "Lucifer..." you whispered.

Sam sighed and nodded. "Yeah."

"I was dying, Sam--I felt it. Why am I not dead?"

"Dean prayed...and some angel we'd never met before came to save you."

Your eyes widened. "Dean...where is he? I need to talk to him."

"He was just here, but when you started to wake up, he bolted."

"Shit," you murmured. "We need to go after him."

You started to sit up and tug at the IV in your arm, but Sam stopped you.

"Woah! Woah! Slow down, (Y/N). You were almost dead not even five minutes ago."

"And now I'm not, so we need to get the hell out of here Sam," you insisted.

Sam sighed. He knew better than to fight you, so he simply helped you remove your IV and untangle you from the web of other tubes and wires. He handed you your clothes and turned around so you could get dressed in privacy.

"Alright, let's go," you said as soon as you were dressed.

*********

When Dean left the hospital, he'd taken the Impala and started the long drive back to Lawrence. He just wanted to get home before you and figure out what his next move was. If you and Sam were going to be together...he didn't want to be there to witness it. He couldn't.

Dean's phone had rang several times, but he hadn't answered. Most of the calls were from you and a few were from Sam, but he couldn't handle hearing your voice right now. Especially if you were going to tell him everything Lucifer had said was true.

"He's still not answering his damn phone," you muttered, throwing the phone onto the dash angrily.

"I just don't get why he'd leave like that," Sam said for the fifth time.

You sighed and ran your fingers through your hair. "Lucifer said some things to him, Sam...things that hurt him deeply. None of it was true, but Dean doesn't know that."

"What kind of things?"

"Things about me...about how I feel. And about you," you admitted quietly.

"(Y/N), just tell me."

"Lucifer told Dean I couldn't stand him and the only reason I hung around was because I'm in love with you."

Sam scoffed. "And Dean believed him?"

"You didn't see his face, Sam...he believed every word. I wanted to tell him the truth, but I couldn't overpower Lucifer."

"Shit," Sam mumbled. "He's a goddamn idiot if he thinks you love me more than him."

You laughed dryly. "Lucifer played on Dean's insecurities and unfortunately, it worked."

Sam sighed. "Where do you think he'd go?"

"I have to hope he went home."

"Then let's get there before he does." Sam sped up, flooring the stolen car like he'd--well, like he'd stolen it.

You were about five hours from Lawrence and Dean had a head start. You knew it was unlikely you'd get there first, but you had to hope you could get there before he left.

**********

When Sam pulled into the Bunker's garage four and a half hours later, you were relieved to see the Impala parked where it should be. Dean would never leave without his beloved car, which meant he was still there.

Both you and Sam practically ran into the Bunker, calling Dean's name.

The green eyed hunter heard your voices, but he ignored both you and Sam. He couldn't face you...he just couldn't.

"Dean? Where are you?" you called again.

"Come on, Dean. We know you're here," Sam said in annoyance.

You headed into the kitchen and Sam went down towards Dean's bedroom. Both of you hoped to find him before he managed to sneak his way out.

Sam entered his brother's room without knocking and sighed in relief. "Dean. There you are."

"Sam," he said curtly.

"Why the hell did you leave? And why didn't you answer our calls?"

"I just needed to get out of there."

"What, before (Y/N) woke up?" Sam's tone made it clear exactly how stupid he thought his brother's actions were.

"Look man, I'm glad she's okay, but I can't face her. I don't want to have that conversation."

Sam decided to play dumb. "What conversation, Dean? The one where she thanks you for saving her life? Or where you yell at her for saying yes to Lucifer in the first place? Cuz trust me, we had that conversation already."

"That's not what I'm talking about, Sam," Dean said quietly as he started to pack his duffle. "But it doesn't matter. I'm leaving."

"Why the hell are you leaving?"

"I can't stay here. I can't--I can't see the two of you together," he whispered.

"Together?" Sam asked incredulously. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"It's fine, Sam. I know."

"There's nothing to know!"

Dean glared at his brother and shook his head. "I saw you at the hospital...you clearly feel the same as she does."

"Yeah I do!" Sam yelled. "She's my friend--she's family!"

Dean was about to snap back another retort, but Sam cut him off.

"Just talk to (Y/N), Dean. Let her explain...you owe her that much."

"I don't want to talk to her."

"I'm not going to give you a choice," you said from the bedroom doorway.

Both men turned to look at you in surprise. You crossed your arms and stood firm.

"I don't want to talk," Dean said quietly.

"Good. I don't want you to talk, Dean. I want you to listen." You turned your gaze to Sam and gestured with your head for him to leave the room.

He gladly exited, not wanting to be a part of this particular conversation.

You closed the door behind him and continued to stand in front of it, afraid Dean would try to leave if you moved.

"Lucifer is a liar, Dean. I shouldn't even have to say that. He's the devil, for crying out loud. He's kinda known for his lies."

"But he's also been honest with us before," Dean countered.

"Only when it benefited him. Just like he lies when it benefits him. Hurting you? Hurting me? That shit brought him joy."

"Really? Did it hurt you to hear him tell me how you really feel about me?"

"No," you said angrily. "It hurt me to hear him lie to you about how I feel! The things he said were cruel and terrible, but more importantly, they weren't true!"

Dean stared at you silently, clearly not believing a word you said.

"Do you really think I'm capable of lying to you for years? Think of every moment we've spent together, Dean...do you really think I pretended to care about you? Pretended to enjoy spending time with you? Think about all the times we've laughed together, the times we've had each other's backs, the small glances, the whispers in the dark when one of us had a nightmare. Think about all of those moments and then look me in the eye and tell me it was all a lie."

Tears filled his beautiful green eyes and you knew the same expression was reflected in your own. You took a step towards him, desperately wanting to touch him, but afraid it be unwelcome.

"You're my favorite person in the world, Dean Winchester. You. Not Sam, not Bobby, not Jodi...you. You hold my whole heart in your hands...you always have. If you don't want it, then I understand, but don't for a second think I love anyone but you."

His lips parted in surprise. "But what about Sam?" he whispered.

You sighed loudly. "Weren't you listening? Sam is my friend, Dean, but nothing more than that. I love him like a brother." You took another step towards him. "He doesn't compare to you--he couldn't compare to you. I love you, Dean...and I don't mean like a brother."

Dean inhaled deeply. "I want to believe you, (Y/N/N)..."

"Then believe me," you begged him. "I love you."

Dean thought about what Lucifer had said and he realized why he'd believed it so easily. They were all things Dean was afraid of...he knew he wasn't good enough for you and he was terrified you knew it too.

"Talk to me, Dean," you whispered, taking a final step towards him.

He looked deep into your eyes and found nothing but love there. The same love he held in his soul for you. "I've always been afraid to tell you how I feel because I know I'm not good enough for you," he admitted. "That's why it was so easy for me to believe Lucifer's lies...it was almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy. I couldn't believe you'd ever want me, so it was easier to believe you wanted Sam. He's better for you in every way."

"Stop," you whispered, pressing a finger to his lips. "I decide who is best for me and I choose you. I will always choose you."

"(Y/N)," he whispered.

You pressed your lips against his, trying to infuse it with all of the love in your soul. Dean's arms wrapped around your thick waist, pulling you closer to him. He deepened the kiss, lips hungrily devouring yours.

You stayed locked in each other's embrace for what felt like an eternity. Your tongues fought for dominance and your hands caressed any part of each other they could reach.

When the kiss inevitably broke so the two of you could breathe, Dean laid his forehead against yours. "This might go without saying, but I love you too, (Y/N). So goddamn much."

You chuckled breathlessly. "After a kiss like that, I'd sure as hell hope so."

He grinned and tugged you even closer to him. His lips pressed against yours again and he found himself wanting to feel every part of your soft body. He needed it, just as much as needed air to breathe.

"Let me show you how much, baby," he whispered against your lips.

"Please," you moaned softly.

“Strip for me, pretty girl,” he commanded.

You gently pushed against his chest, forcing him back against the bed. He dropped down onto the mattress, eyes never leaving your body.

You slowly began to remove your clothing, taking much longer than you needed to. You were teasing him and he was eating it up.

You finally got down to just your bra and panties, nothing fancy as you obviously weren’t planning on this happening, but Dean didn’t seem to care. In fact, you were about to be very glad you didn’t wear anything nice.

“You are so damn beautiful, baby,” he whispered.

You offered him a warm smile, appreciative of the affection in his gaze. He thought you were a goddess among humans, a treasure to behold.

“I think you’re a bit overdressed, Dean,” you teased softly.

“You know, babe, I think you’re right.” He stood up and shed his layers significantly faster than you had. He was extremely impatient, as he was dying to get his hands on you.

You admired his broad chest, thick arms, and sculpted form. He looked incredible, scars and all. You felt the strong urge to kiss every single one of them, if he would allow you.

He now stood before you in nothing but his boxers, his large erection straining against the thin fabric.

“Let’s get this off you,” he muttered, reaching behind your back to unhook your bra.

The moment your breasts were exposed to his gaze, he let out a low groan. “Fuck, baby. These are even better than I’d imagined.”

“You imagined my—“ your question was cut off by the feeling of his lips wrapped around your nipple and his hands caressing your breasts gently.

The gentle movements quickly turned more intense, and he began to truly knead and nip at your flesh. You moaned softly and gently ran your fingers through his soft hair.

You pressed yourself even closer to him, feeling his bulge press against your abdomen. He lifted his head with a small smirk.

“Impatient, are we?”

You nodded quickly.

“Oh come on now, sweetheart. Use those words for me. Tell me what you want.”

“You,” you whimpered. “I want you.”

His smirk widened. “I figured that much out on my own, darlin'. I want you to tell me what you need.”

You weren’t exactly accustomed to expressing yourself verbally in the bedroom. To be honest, a lot of your past experiences weren’t that great anyway. A lot of one night stands with men who only cared about their own pleasure.

You found yourself feeling kind of excited at the prospect of a man listening to you and what you wanted…even more so because that man was Dean.

“I want you on your knees, handsome,” you said firmly.

Dean’s eyes widened slightly, but he dropped to his knees obediently. His normally bright green eyes were dark with lust as he locked eyes with you.

You loved the powerful feeling you had as you stood over him. The great Dean Winchester, on his knees for you.

You touched his face sweetly and he leaned into your palm, eyes fluttering closed for a moment. “Do you wanna eat my pussy, Dean?” you whispered.

His eyes shot back open, a hungry expression on his face. “Yes,” he breathed lowly.

“Then get to work,” you commanded softly.

Dean was used to being in charge in the bedroom and it wasn’t often he found himself submitting to a woman. You were different than any woman he’d ever been with before—after all, he loved you. If you told him to do a damn handstand naked, lick your feet, and call you “your majesty”, he would have done it in a heartbeat.

His calloused hands slowly slid up your thighs, squeezing the supple flesh. His mouth followed, leaving sloppy kisses as he worked his way closer to your core.

“Baby?” he asked softly, glancing up at you.

“Hmm?”

“Do you have any particular attachment to these panties?”

“No, why—Dean!” you gasped as he ripped your underwear in half, tossing the remains to the floor.

He grinned and made a happy little noise deep in his throat before kissing your mound. He grabbed your right leg and tugged it up over his shoulder, giving him better access to you.

“Lean on me for support, beautiful. I got you.”

The moment you laid a hand on his shoulder and he was sure you were stable, he dove into your pussy with a deep growl.

Your head fell back in ecstasy and a series of moans left your lips. The hand not holding onto his shoulder immediately wound itself in his hair, holding on for dear life.

“Dean—feels so good,” you moaned.

His hands dug into your ass cheeks in response, tugging you even closer to him. He never wanted to stop—hearing those sweet sounds you made mixed with the heady taste of your sweetness was more intoxicating than any drink he’d ever had.

Your legs had begun to tremble and Dean’s grip on you tightened. He wasn’t willing to stop his ministrations, but he wouldn’t let you fall either.

Your nails scraped against his scalp and his shoulder as you clung to him. The pleasure was almost too much and not enough all at once, and you felt your orgasm approaching.

“Dean,” you gasped. “I’m so close.”

He smiled against your core and shifted his focus more heavily to your clit. You cried out and cursed softly, and he knew he’d made the right move.

“I—oh god,” you cried as your orgasm washed over you.

Dean lapped up everything you had to offer, his grip on your body never loosening. As you began to come down from your high, he slipped his hands up to your hips to ensure he didn’t drop you.

He gave your pussy one last lick before allowing you to pull him up by his hair. To his surprise, you mashed your lips against his hungrily, not giving a damn that he tasted like you.

One hand tangled into your hair and the other held you tightly. “What do you want me to do now, sweetheart?” He murmured against your skin.

“Take control, Dean,” you begged. “Make my legs shake. Make me scream. I don’t wanna be able to move for hours.”

“Holy fuck,” he groaned. “Who taught you to talk like that, baby?”

You smirked. “It comes naturally with you.”

"Well it's the sexiest thing I've ever heard," he murmured.

His strong arms wrapped around your waist and gripped you tightly. He spun you both around so your back was to the bed. He pulled you up into his arms and tossed you onto the bed.

You gasped in surprise, not used to being manhandled in such a manner. You sat up slightly, resting on your elbows as you looked at the gorgeous man in front of you. You curled one finger and beckoned him towards you with a smirk.

He quickly discarded his boxers and dropped onto the bed, crawling slowly up your body. He dropped kisses onto your skin as he moved, leaving goosebumps in his wake.

When he reached your mouth, you reached up and grabbed the hair at the base of his neck, tugging him down to you. Your kiss was hungry and needy, leaving no question as to what you wanted.

As the kiss deepened, Dean shifted his body to touch your soft curves. In doing so, the tip of his cock brushed against your pussy, eliciting soft moans from both of you.

Dean's hands traced softly up and down your sides, relishing the feeling of your skin against his. "I love touching you," he murmured in your ear. "You're so damn soft."

You smiled and turned your head to nip at his jaw. He groaned and turned his attention back to your soft lips, sucking the bottom one between his teeth and biting down gently.

Much like Dean, you loved touching his body, but you reveled in the firmness of his body beneath your hands. Every time he moved, you could feel his muscles tense and shift. His body was powerful and beautiful--a vessel carrying the most incredible soul you'd ever known.

Dean shifted again, nudging your head to the side so he could suck at your neck, leaving love marks on the sensitive skin. You lifted your hips up slightly, seeking some kind of friction to relieve the ache between your legs. Once again, his cock brushed against your core and you gasped lightly. Dean, on the other hand, bit gently into your neck to suppress a loud moan.

"I can't wait any longer, baby," he groaned.

"Take me. I'm yours," you whispered.

He sighed softly, kissing you sweetly before pulling away. "Roll over for me, sweetness. Hands and knees."

Your eyes widened in surprise, but you rolled over immediately. You lowered your upper body to lay flat against the mattress, ass high in the air.

"Holy shit," Dean murmured as his hands grasped your large, round ass. "Who said you could have an ass this incredible? I can't wait to watch it jiggle while I fuck you senseless."

Before you could respond, he smacked your ass with an open palm, causing you to gasp slightly.

He seemed to realize belatedly that he should have asked if you were okay with that before doing it, but he'd be lying if he said he hadn't imagined smacking your ass for years. "Is that okay, baby?"

"More, please," you begged softly.

He smacked your ass again with a grin. "You like that?"

"Harder, Dean," you moaned. "Like you mean it."

"Fuck," he groaned, hand coming down against your cheek again.

Each time you moaned loudly, reaffirming your enjoyment of the action. Your pussy clenched around nothing and you were beyond desperate for him to just fuck you already.

"Dean, I need you--please," you cried desperately.

"Where do you need me, baby?"

"Inside me," you whimpered.

Without warning, you felt one of Dean's thick fingers enter your pussy. "Like this?"

You shook your head rapidly.

"Words, babe," he said firmly.

"I want your cock, Dean."

"Yeah? Tell me where."

You turned your head to look at him as best as you could from your current position. "I want you to fuck my pussy with your big, thick cock...please," you pleaded softly.

Dean blinked rapidly and licked his lips. He pulled his finger out from inside of you and sucked your juices from it. "Yes ma'am," he murmured.

He leaned forward and kissed your cheek where he'd left a red mark from his slaps. You turned your head back around, forehead against the mattress, preparing yourself for what would come next.

Dean gripped his cock tightly, stroking it a few times before lining himself up with your entrance. He started to enter you and you gasped at the stretch. It was painful given his larger than average size.

"I've got you, baby," he whispered, running his hands up and down your back in a soothing manner. "Just relax for me."

You took a deep breath and tried to relax your body as much as you could. When he felt the tension leave you, he continued to push forward.

You'd never felt so full before and the pain had begun to subside into pleasure. "You're so big," you mumbled.

Dean smirked and chuckled softly. "I'm not all the way in yet, sweetheart."

"What?!" you gasped in surprise.

He pushed the rest of the way in, bottoming out so deep inside you, you swore you could feel him against your cervix. "Fuck!" you yelped.

Dean continued his soothing hand motions on your hips as he allowed you the time you needed to adjust to his size.

While you appreciated his gentleness, you desperately needed him to fuck you. Instead of telling him what you wanted, you moved your hips forward slightly before slamming back against him so your ass pressed firmly against his lower abdomen.

Dean's blunt nails dug into your hips and he growled lowly. "Fuck, baby."

His hips snapped forward and he held you in place by your hips. He set a brutal pace, unable to move slowly--it felt way too damn good.

Dean was completely mesmerized by your ass, watching it jiggle as he fucked into you forcefully. He slapped the opposite cheek from the one he'd hit earlier and you cried out in pleasure, pussy clenching around him.

"You feel so fuckin' good, sweetness," he moaned. "Tightest pussy I've ever had."

You couldn't formulate a good response to his words as you were already too far gone. His cock slammed into your g-spot with each thrust, making your legs shake and your head fog up.

"Made for me, weren't you baby?"

"Mhmm," you hummed.

Dean smiled, knowing you were overwhelmed with pleasure and unable to respond properly. He leaned forward and grabbed a handful of your hair at the base of your neck. He tugged back slightly--just enough to cause a little pain without truly hurting you.

His thrusts were almost violent, they were so fast and hard. He wanted to feel you come apart on his cock and he knew you were close.

"You gonna cum for me, baby?" he whispered.

You simply whined desperately.

"What do you need, sweetheart? Tell me what you need."

"More," you begged.

"Hmm," Dean hummed. He slipped an arm around your waist and tugged you back against him so you were sitting up as he continued to thrust into you.

One hand slid up to your neck, wrapping around your throat and applying just a tiny bit of pressure to gauge your reaction. His other hand moved slowly towards your core, seeking your clit for added stimulation.

"Dean!" you cried.

He bit into your shoulder. "I'm here, baby. I want you to fall apart for me."

He rubbed at your clit quickly, thrusts slower due to the new position, but nevertheless pleasurable.

You needed just a little more to push yourself over the edge, so you gripped his hand around your neck and put more pressure on it, indicating what you needed.

Dean got the hint and tightened his grip on your throat, just enough to push you over the edge. He didn't want to hurt you--he would never hurt you.

"Cum for me, sweet girl," he murmured in your ear.

You cried out as your second orgasm crashed against you and your pussy tightened almost painfully around Dean's cock. He helped you ride out your high before lowering you back to the bed and rolling you over onto your back.

He was immediately on top of you, thrusting into you more slowly. He put one arm on either side of your head to support himself, effectively trapping you beneath him.

He rolled his hips against you, the motion pressing his pelvis against your clit, causing you to whimper in pained pleasure. Your hands found purchase in his upper back, nails digging in as he repeated the action.

"I love your body, baby," he whispered. "So fucking perfect."

You smiled up at him, pulling him down for a heated kiss. "I like it too," you mumbled. "Yours isn't bad either."

He chuckled lightly, kissing you lovingly. "I wanna see you come apart for me, (Y/N). Can you give me one more?"

Your eyes widened. "I don't think I can..."

"I bet you can, sweetness." He grabbed your hips and pulled your legs up so your legs were wrapped around his waist. He began to thrust in earnest again and your head fell back, a moan escaping your lips.

Dean closed his eyes, focusing on pulling at least one more orgasm from you and keeping his own at bay. The way you were squeezing him made it a hell of a lot harder than he would like.

The harder his thrusts, the tighter you seemed to grip him, and the deeper your nails dug into his back. He knew he was going to have some serious gashes on his back, but he intended to wear them with pride.

"Come apart for me, baby. Let me feel you soak my cock," he begged.

"Dean," you groaned.

"Come on, my love--let go."

Your eyes fluttered closed and your body began to shake as waves of pleasure threatened to overwhelm you. You came for the third time that night, cries of pleasure mixing with Dean's moans of encouragement.

You started to come down from your high, body overly sensitive from the onslaught of pleasure that continued. "Dean, too much!" you gasped.

"Just one more," he begged.

"I can't!" you whimpered.

"Please baby--one more. Need it," he continued to beg.

You didn't think it was possible for you to cum again, but you began to feel a new sensation in your abdomen. It felt similar to the familiar tightening coil that signified an oncoming orgasm, but it was infinitely more intense. You weren't even sure if it was pleasure or pain--the feeling was simply too overwhelming to comprehend.

"Dean--I can't--" you gasped in confusion.

His hand slid between your bodies to gently massage your clit and you suddenly couldn't breathe. You began to writhe beneath him, hands gripping at the sheets to try and ground yourself.

Dean knew you were about to come undone again, so he didn't slow any of his motions. "Look at me, baby."

Your eyes met his for no more than a moment before your vision became blurry. You screamed his name as you came for a fourth and final time. The feeling was so incredible, you couldn't even begin to describe it.

Your vision began to return to normal as you desperately tried to catch your breath. You were practically limp beneath him as Dean began to chase his own orgasm.

He tucked his head into the crook of your neck and murmured soft words of praise against your skin. "Feels so good--squeezing me perfectly."

He kissed your neck as his thrusts became more erratic. "I'm gonna fill up this pretty little pussy, sweetness. Gonna cum for you."

You managed to press a kiss into his shoulder and wrap your arms around him, hands clutching his back. "Fill me up, Dean," you whispered encouragingly.

Dean groaned lowly. "This pussy is mine, baby. You hear me? Mine."

"Yours, Dean. Only yours."

"Oh--fuck--" he groaned. "(Y/N)!"

His hips began to stutter, thrusts faltering as he filled you up with his seed. He whispered your name like a prayer as his movements began to slow to a halt. You clung to him tightly as he came down from his high.

He finally collapsed on top of you, completely spent and breathless.

You rubbed his back soothingly, lips pressing gentle kisses to his shoulder and neck. As the two of you laid there quietly, you began to notice the bedding beneath you was particularly wet--more so than you had expected it to be.

"I love you so much," Dean whispered, lips pressed softly against your jaw.

"I love you too, baby," you said sweetly.

Dean began to lift himself up, each movement making you gasp--body too overstimulated to handle any motion.

"Sorry, sweetheart," he murmured softly.

"I'm not complaining," you assured him.

He grinned slightly as he pulled himself up completely, softened member sliding out of your excessively wet pussy.

He looked down at the bed and his grin widened. "We made quite the mess, baby."

"Yeah, it feels a little...wetter than normal."

He chuckled softly. "That's probably because you squirted, (Y/N/N)."

You gasped, cheeks reddening in embarrassment. You realized that must have been the result of the most intense orgasm of your life. "I did?!"

Dean noticed your discomfort and immediately reassured you. "Yeah, sweetness--and it was the sexiest fucking thing I've ever seen."

You bit your lip and looked up at him. "Really?"

He grinned. "Really."

"I've--uh--well...I've never squirted before," you admitted.

His chest puffed up with pride. "I'm honored to have been the first--and the last." He added a wink for emphasis.

You smiled softly. "Maybe don't make it a regular thing...I literally can't move."

Dean laughed. "Don't worry, babe. I'll take care of you."

You watched the handsome man cross the room and go into the bathroom, emerging several minutes later with two washcloths. He gently picked you up, moving you to the other side of the bed where it was dry. From there, he very gently began to clean you up with the warm washcloths.

You were moved by the loving way he took care of you, making sure you were clean and comfortable before leaving the room in search of another set of sheets.

When he returned, you found you still couldn't move, but Dean didn't seem to mind. "I can change the sheets with you in them, (Y/N)."

"But--"

"Hush," he insisted as he pressed a kiss to your lips.

He made quick work of removing the sheets on the other half of the bed and putting the clean sheets on that side. He then scooped you up again and moved you to the clean, crisp sheets. He removed the rest of the soiled sheets and finished making the bed.

As soon as he was finished, he crawled into the bed beside you. He reached out to grab your soft body and tugged you against his warm chest.

You nuzzled into him and sighed softly. "I could get used to this."

He smiled and kissed the top of your head. "I'll always take care of you, baby...so you might as well get used to it. I'm not going anywhere."

You smiled and pressed a soft kiss onto his chest. "I love you, Dean."

Dean tightened his grip on you and smiled. "I love you more, (Y/N/N). Always."

#dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x reader smut #dean winchester x plus size!reader smut #dean winchester x plus size reader #supernatural smut #supernatural fanfic #dean winchester smut #jensen ackles smut

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vln-vibes · 1 year

Text

Amity Park; Clone City ?

It started with a video.

Tim had been scrolling through social media, as one did when procrastinating doing boring paperwork for Wayne Enterprises. He found himself going down the rabbit hole and somehow ended up going down the Unreality/ARG path.

He had to appreciate the dedication to bringing these stories together, some of the stories could actually happen given all the shit he'd seen in his hero career. Anyway this ended in him getting fed back to back Not Real videos. At least that was until he found The Video.

The caption on the screen was the first thing that popped up in front of the face of a latina teen who was trying not to laugh; Imagine getting wrecked by a twink

The camera flipped two buff guys wearing red and white Leatherman jackets, one was on the grass with his head tilted to the side and a basketball next to him, the blonde guy was looking at his friend with tears in his eyes before turning red and turning to the side and yelling out.

"You're dead Weston!"

"I said sorry!"

The camera then did a sharp turn to zoom in on a lanky ginger teen. It looked as though the blonde was about to go beat the shit out of the guy before the ground shook and the sky turned momentarily green.

"Ah shit, must be Skullker"

The audio began to glitch before the cameragirl began to run, the blonde could be seen carrying his companion, the ginger guy running besides them. A sudden cry came from behind as they could hear what seemed to be a girl trip.

"Star!"

The video started to glitch again and the camera fell from the girl's hand. As the girl picked up her phone the video showed that the ground where the blonde fell was now charred. When the girl panned to the side he could see that the ginger guy had tackled her.

"Are you guys okay?" her slightly accented voice could be heard with a weird echo, the ginger guy had his head back to the camera as he helped the girl up.

"Ugh Skullker's the worst, I still can't believe Ember dates him" the girl groaned. She looked up;

Kara?

"At least Phantom's already on it" the ginger guy turned around.

Wally?

The video ended and Tim found himself rewatching it over and over again--- There was no doubt that those two were Kara and Wally. Sure they looked younger but it was them.

There had to be more to this, was this really some sort of ARG? The explosions and the weird glitches, was that just all some part of a gimmick? Also why were there two younger versions of prominent heroes? Were they clones? Was Cadmus involved?

If it was clones then Cadmus was definitely involved.

He clicked on the girl's profile--- PaulinaxPhantom<3

Most of it was blank, not in a 'She doesn't really post much' sort of way, like her photos and video were whited off. He could see a sporadic picture and video here and there but they were divided by blank pictures that never loaded or video that crashed without ever showing anything.

He knew it had nothing to do with his connection so what the hell was going on. Could it be something with the site?

On a recent picture it was a selfie of herself with 'Star'/Kara with a link to 'Star's' profile.

Same thing as Paulina; pictures and videos surrounded by never loading and permanently whited out.

He checked the blonde jock's, Dash, and had the same result. Apparently the guy he’d been carrying was named Kwan—

Was that Garth? Sure he was a lot bulkier but he had an uncanny resemblance to the Atlantean.

Then he found 'Wally' again, or Wes apparently; Wally West and Wes Weston? It wasn't giving him much hope.

Wes was apparently part of Casper High's journalism club given his video about trying to meet the deadline and ranting about how annoying 'Boxie' had been, having trashed their clubroom and making them pick up after him.

"Stop complaining and actually pick up the slack Weston" a female voice spoke up from behind him.

"Yes, yes Chief Editor Manson"

Raven!?

Another video had him in a local food joint where the waitress was taking an order from a black haired customer, scowling as she noted the camera on her and flipped him off as the camera zoomed in on her, which was a dick move on the guy's part (as if service industry workers didn't have to deal with shit customers in the first place). The customer she was helping didn't even look back and also flipped him off.

"Get a life Weston"

Karen?

Oh holy hell bats! Was that Dick!?

Oh crap. Oh motherhecking heck!

This was bad.

Fumbling off of his bed and out of his room with a single drive to get to the Batcave, where he knew Bruce would be at the time and be able to assemble an Emergency Meeting with the League, he only had one thing in mind.

Why the hell would they hide clones in the middle of bumfuck Nowhere Illinois?

#dpxdc #dcxdp #Batpham #dp x dc crossover #Amity park is weird #They suspect secret clones #thats how the JL find out about the GIW #counterparts #danny fenton & dick grayson #Wes weston & wally west #Sam Manson & Raven #Tim is spiraling #Tim is panicking #Is everyone a clone???#Jazz fenton & Barbara gordan

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celaenaeiln · 3 months

Note

is the dickbabs romantic relationship always as bad as in Tom Taylor’s run or is it actually enjoyable in other runs? i want to read more of dick’s og nightwing run but ik dickbabs is a recurring thing and i strongly dislike what i’ve seen of it in modern comics (absolutely no offense to anyone who ships it!!)

also sort of related, but have dick and babs really been BFFs since grade school or is that new canon? i remember the initial new 52 run referencing him and babs as on and off but nothing about being childhood besties.

finally- what would you consider to be key dick grayson runs?

Surprisingly Dickbabs is pretty nice to read in other runs. I know this sounds weird coming from someone who hates Dickbabs as a ship but really it's only bad like 85% of the time and the majority of that is because of the Batgirl comics. Batgirl comics treat Dick like shit and it's a losing tossup whether he's treated well in Oracle related comics.

But to get to your point, Dickbabs in Nightwing (1996) was originally pretty good. Tom Taylor's run of Nightwing is the weird one because in every other run you have Dick + relationships whereas in Taylor's you have relationships + Dick. That being said, I highly, highly recommend reading the og one. At one point it does get toxic but Barbara leaves almost immediately after that and aside from that the ship was pretty nice for the most part.

Dick and Barbara have NOT been BFFS since childhood or whatever and this gets on my nerves that Tom Taylor and Hope Larson did that. This is one of the problems I have with the Dickbabs ship. Writers who write them love changing the story to erase Dick's friendships with the Titans. They literally love to pretend Wally, Donna, Roy, and Garth don't exist. BARBARA IS NOT HIS CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND!! They literally keep deaging her and for what?? First she was like two decades older than him, then she's five years older than him, and now she's the same age?? Just let her be older! Barbara being the same age as Dick makes no sense because it takes away her maturity to turn her into this childish, selfish character she has no business being. She's not even enjoyable when she's deaged this far. I'm still on the she's 5 to 6 years older than Dick canon timeline and there is no way she was childhood besties with him.

The way I picture Dick and Barbara's relationship is this:

youtube

DC should've just let it at this, this was peak Dick and Barbara relationship.

Very narrow starting out list but some must read Dick Grayson runs are:

Nightwing (1996) - If you don't feel like reading anything else just read this

Nightwing (2016) - Really good up until Tom Taylor's run

Batman: Gotham Knights - pretty good and lots of cute Tim and Dick!

Titans (1999) - This is a must read if you're not interested in the original Teen Titans comics

Outsiders (2003) - Love him so much in this

JLA/Titans - Important for understanding his relationships with Titans and Batman

Nightwing (2011)

Justice League (2011) Issue #25 and Forever Evil - Same arc

Batman: Prelude to the Wedding: Nightwing vs. Hush

Robin era

Batman - One Bad Day: Mr. Freeze - If you want to skip the medal ages but still want to know what Dick was like as Robin, this comic is all you need to understand his character and personality and beliefs.

Batman Chronicles: The Gauntlet - Dick's gauntlet test!

Robin: Year One - For fun :)

Dick!Bats era

Batman: Battle for the Cowl - To get into Dick's batman

Batman (1940) Issues #682 to #713 - Batman Dick. Incredible. Dick was such a good batman and so fun to read.

Batman and Robin (2009) - Dick and Dami!

Batman: Streets of Gotham - Also Dick and Dami <3

Justice League of America (2006) Issues #41 to #60- Dick leading his own JLA team as Batman! SO FUN!!

Detective Comics (1937) Issue #864 to #881 - Honestly Batman Dick was so good I can't tell if I like Dick more as Nightwing or Batman. Obviously it's better for his mental health if he's nightwing but he just did such a great job as Batman.

Spy era

Grayson - YESSSS. Just everything about this.

Batman and Robin Eternal - It was really good up until near the end but then it got better again

Dark Crisis - Definitely, without a doubt, no question

Additional: The ones above are focused on him but if you finish reading this then Tim's Robin (1993) Comic is a fantastic one. He doesn't appear in every single issue but he appears a lot and it's a lot of Dick and Tim characterization. Also Teen Titans (2003) for more Dick and Titans relationships.

#dick grayson #nightwing #barbara gordon #batgirl #cl anon asks #cl asks #thanks for the ask!

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ladykailitha · 8 months

Text

Royal Pain Part 19

Hey, guys. Sorry it took so long to get this out. The chapter was fighting me and I have had the absolutely worst week. However in slightly happier news, my partner got a new job and that means I should be able to quit mine and go back to writing full time. I'll let you know more when I do, but it's looking more and more likely.

I realized it had been a while since we had an Eddie centric chapter and decided this would be the one. And I left it on a cliffhanger again. But don't worry next chapter will see more than one villain vanquished.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18

***

Eddie was seething. He hadn’t been this mad since he learned Max was moving to New York. Actually. No. He was madder then that. He was pissed.

Gareth grimaced. “They won’t do anything?”

“No,” Eddie growled. “Because he technically hasn’t violated the protection order, according to them.”

“If he can’t get with in five hundred feet,” Brian said, “then how did he find out about Steve.”

Eddie threw up his arms into the air. “That’s what I asked.”

“I’m betting,” Mandy said, “that they didn’t have a good answer?”

“Apparently since Seth showed up at Hopper’s,” Eddie snarled, “and not Steve’s shop, that he was just going around to all the tattoo parlors and threatening everyone.”

Jeff rolled his eyes. “I bet they didn’t even check with other tattoo shops and just made that shit up.”

“I even talked to Officer Callahan who was in charge of the original case file because he’s not supposed to be out of jail yet,” Eddie said, beginning to pace. “He never went.”

“What?!” came the shocked cry of outrage from everyone.

“Yeah,” Eddie continued. “Apparently he made a deal with the DA and they didn’t tell me. He got two years probation.”

“That’s bullshit!” Mandy hissed. “He was going to kill you.”

“Criminal mischief,” Eddie said. “Domestic abuse down to criminal mischief. $300 fine, two year probation, and forced to take a class about how not to be a violent offender.”

“It’s because you’re a man, isn’t it?” Gareth asked, licking his lips slowly. “These fuckers don’t think a man can be abused.”

Eddie pursed his lips into a line and nodded.

“Hop’s calling in a couple of favors to keep Steve safe,” he said. “But that does jack shit about me. And this isn’t me calling out that shit. That’s Hop’s prerogative but he’s my dumb ass ex, who’s protecting me?”

“We are,” Jeff said. “You don’t go anywhere without one of us. Garth, since you’re the only one without a roommate at the moment, Eddie’s going to stay with you. Brian, talk to Cecil, he’s studying law. See what he can recommend.”

Gareth and Brian both nodded.

Eddie buried his head into his hands. “This is such bullshit.”

Mandy came up and gave him a hug. “We’ll get through this. We did before and we will again. And this time we have more people that would be willing to help. Steve, Robin, Chrissy, hell the whole of the Royal Pain would throw hands for you.”

Eddie chuckled. He knew that too. “Well, maybe not Erica.”

Brian snorted. “That girl would sell her own mother for a cookie.”

“Not even a Girl Scout cookie,” Jeff agreed. “That girl is bound for world domination.”

“No doubt.”

“You tell me right now,” Wayne said when Eddie had called that night, “do you need me up there? Because work be damned, boy, I’ll be up there in two shakes of lamb’s tail.”

Eddie chewed on his nail. He felt like that little boy all over again. Being given the choice between being with his uncle or being put in a foster home. He didn’t want to be a bother to anyone, but he knew. He knew that Wayne was someone that wouldn’t care. That he could be as big a bother as he wanted, he would still be loved.

He let out a shuddering breath and like that little boy all those years ago said, “Yes. Please.”

“I’ve got some vacation time coming,” Wayne said as if he didn’t have weeks and weeks of it stored up because he was never sick a day in his life. “I cane be up there for as long as you need me, you hear?”

“I’m staying with Gareth for the time being,” Eddie said solemnly, “because Jeff is worried that Seth will follow me home.”

“Smart man, your Jeff,” Wayne agreed. “I have a friend in Indy I can crash on the sofa of for a couple of days until I can find something a little more permanent.”

“Yeah,” he whispered. “Let me know when you get into town and we’ll meet up for lunch.”

“You can finally take me to that pizza place you’ve been going on about for months.”

Eddie laughed, a knot loosening in his chest. “You’ve got it, old man.”

A few days later Steve was waiting for the pizza he had ordered for the shop, playing silly games on his phone when the bell announced new arrivals. He looked up instinctively and grinned.

He waved. “Eddie!”

Eddie lit up with a big smile. “Stevie?” He hopped over, an older man following a little slower behind.

“Hey!” Steve greeted. “Fancy seeing you here.”

Eddie’s smile turned into a grin. “DiMaggio’s is the best pizza place in Indy, not coming here is a crime.”

“If it’s not it certainly should be,” Steve agreed with his own answering grin.

“Steve,” Eddie said, “this is my uncle, Wayne. He’s staying in town for a few days.”

Steve’s mood was dampened a bit, knowing why he was in town. “Nice to meet you. I was planning a trip back down Hawkins at the end of the summer so that Eddie could introduce us, sorry we had meet under lesser than ideal circumstances.”

Wayne blinked at him for a moment before turning to Eddie. “This one is a keeper.”

Eddie blushed, shoving his hair in front of his face, ducking his head to hide his embarrassment.

Steve just smiled fondly at him. “I think that’s up to him.”

Wayne’s eyebrows shot up. “I like him.”

That surprised a laugh out of Eddie causing him to drop the hair. “Me too.”

“Let me just go order our pizzas,” Eddie murmured and darted for the front counter.

“He’s cute,” Steve said, waving his hand to the chair in front of him for Wayne to sit.

Wayne took the seat and smiled. “He certainly is. I’m glad the world didn’t beat the silliness out of him.”

“Me too,” Steve agreed. “I love how earnest and outgoing he is.”

Wayne hummed. “He tell what was going on?”

Steve nodded. “I’m afraid it’s my fault. Seth came after me at a friend’s shop, tried to threaten me into leaving Eddie alone.”

“I don’t think being threatened is the fault of the victim,” he said, his voice a deep comforting rumble.

Steve blushed. “That’s what Jeff and Robin said.”

“Jeff I know,” Wayne said, “Robin I don’t, but it sounds to me like they both have their heads on straight and you should be listening to them and not that voice in the back of your head.” He tapped Steve forehead for emphasis.

The bell above the door rang again and Mike and Will walked in. Steve raised a eyebrow when he spotted them.

“DiMaggio’s is certainly hopping for a random Thursday,” he commented dryly to Will when he lead a slightly reluctant Mike over to their table. Eddie arrived at the table just moments later and there are hugs and greetings all around.

“You caused quite a stir at the latest family dinner,” Will said with a huge grin to Steve.

Steve huffed out a laugh. “Yeah, how did that happen?”

“Jonathan is back on Mom’s couch,” he said with a smirk.

Steve reared his head back. “And how did that involve me?”

“Argyle kicked him out of the apartment because him and Nancy lied to him about who’s fault your and her relationship ended.”

“Nancy is furious at them both,” Mike said with a half shrug. “I’m not sure their relationship is going to survive that little revelation.”

Steve winced. “Yeah...that’s on them though. How was I to know that Jonathan hadn’t been honest to Argyle about that.”

Eddie bumped his shoulder. “You weren’t.”

“Oh we are totally on your side,” Will said.

Mike nodded. “Yeah, man. It was straight up bullshit all the lying they did.”

“Mom’s pissed because she really liked you,” Will continued, “and believed Jonathan about how things went down. Like of course she did. He’s her son, but she should have tried to get your side of it.”

“Those eight years are totally on her,” Steve said, holding his hands up in surrender. “You’ve been trying to tell her for years to at least talk to me about it.”

Will and Mike nodded.

Mike chewed on his lip as he played with the loose string on the hem of his t-shirt. “Is it bad I hope Nancy and Jonathan break up?”

The table got silence for a moment.

Wayne lifted his chin. “Why’s that, son?”

“Because I don’t think she wants a relationship. I think she was only with Jonathan and Steve,” he said waving at him with his left hand, “is because that’s what you’re ‘supposed’ to do.”

“Steve!” the counter called.

Steve got up to get his pizza order, he stopped back at the table. “I don’t think it’s a bad you want your sister to learn how to be herself without a partner. I think it shows that you’re more mature then she is. You’re a good man, Mike.”

He clapped Mike’s shoulder and then waved goodbye to everyone. He pulled out his keys and walked out to his car, flipping the key ring around as he thought.

He never intended this to happen when he saw his ex at the grocery store, but honestly? Maybe it was a good thing to get all those wounds brought to light so that they could heal properly.

For all their sakes.

Steve was ready for the weekend. His week had been a literal hell. But Eddie had promised that he would have fun. The band had been practicing a couple of new songs and were debuting them Saturday night.

He sat at the curve of the table, sandwiched between Robin, who wouldn’t care, only to tease him mercilessly later, and Mandy who got it, how fucking sexy Eddie and the band was when they were on stage.

Steve wished he could say he was better prepared every time Eddie got on stage, but every week Eddie went out of his way to drive Steve absolutely wild.

“He does this on purpose doesn’t he?” Steve asked after a particularly hot number where Eddie fell to his knees grinding on his guitar.

Mandy laughed. “I would like to put you out of your misery and say yes, but no. When Eddie gets on stage he loses all connection to the audience and just rocks out. His fans love it.”

Steve looked around the dingy bar and had to agree. They were just as turned on as he was. He shifted uncomfortably in his jeans, clearing his throat. “If we...” he cleared his throat again. “I mean if Eddie were to–if we were–”

Mandy took pity on him. “If you two were going out would the fans tear you to pieces for touching what they can’t?”

Steve bit his lip and nodded, looking at his hands that were twisted in lap.

She gave his knee a squeeze. “I honestly don’t know what the fans would do. But Eddie wouldn’t give a damn what they think. He’s been booed before for a song that they didn’t think was metal enough and he didn’t let that stop him. Not once.”

Steve let out a breath. It was always something that worried him. He knew he went against the grain in everything he did, but he didn’t want that with Eddie. He didn’t want to be with Eddie just because it went against the norm of what was expected of either of them.

They arrived at the club and already Robin was on the dance floor. She loved dancing and soon Mandy, Chrissy, Jeff, and Brian were out there with her. Gareth, Eddie, and Steve watched in amusement as their friends let loose on the dance floor, living it up under the rainbow lights and the thumping beat of the music.

Steve turned around and Eddie wasn’t there.

“You seen Eddie?” he shouted at Gareth.

Gareth shot up and looked around. “Shit.”

Somehow during their watching of their friends cutting it up, Eddie had slipped away.

“You check out back to see if he’s gone for a smoke,” Steve said.

Gareth nodded.

“I’m going to check the bar.”

Gareth nodded again.

Across the crowded room, a man in a tailored white suit grinned as he moved to the back of the club where the restrooms were, eyes glittering with want and rage as he scented his prey.

***

Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Epilogue

Tag List: @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @artiststarme @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 @pyrohonk @renaissan-vvitch @goodolefashionedloverboi @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence @plyerice27 @thedragonsaunt @sapphirecobalt-1 @a-little-unsteddie @i-must-potato @danili666 @carlyv @rozzieroos @wonderland-girl143-blog @itsall-taken @justforthedead89 @emly03 @bookworm0690 @aizawa-emma @redfreckledwolf @thesuninyaface @bookbinderbitch @yikes-a-bee @littlewildflowerkitten @scheodingers-muppet @archermightbegay @hallucinatedjosten @ellietheasexylibrarian @anne-bennett-cosplayer @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @bestwifehaver @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @oldwitcheshat @nightmareglitter @tinyplanet95

#stranger things #steddie #my writing #tattoo artist steve #ladykailtiha writes

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floralovebot · 2 months

Note

how do you feel about when writers used Roy and Wally’s as mouth pieces for the fans that wanted Garth removed from the team?

well to be honest, i don't think roy and wally were ever mouthpieces for fans who didn't like garth? like garth was never the Most popular but he was also never hated by any means. and while i wasn't alive during the time, i'm pretty sure garth was fairly well-liked during the silver age and bronze age, at least among aquafam and teen titans fans.

i think it's important to remember that wally and roy weren't like,, specifically targeting garth when they acted up. they were literally just like that. like wally using nicknames for garth was something that he did for all of them (and actually they all did it - it was just a Thing at the time). wally occasionally looked down on him or doubted him but again, he did that to dick and donna too.

similarly, roy was just going through his asshole teenager phase, and while he certainly didn't like garth, he didn't like the others at first either. roy and dick even had a (short lived) rivalry and wally had to break them up multiple times. roy came around after some time, and honestly, if garth had stuck around, i think they probably would've become actual friends.

but anyway them treating garth badly was really just,,, them being them, as shitty as it sounds. wally wasn't trying to be a bully - he was just a little insensitive at times. and roy was just in his little shit phase and treating everyone like that.

so while it's possible that some fans wanted garth gone, i really don't think wally or roy were used as mouthpieces for that. they were treating everyone like that.

#as much as i shit on wally (cause its funny alhdg) him and garth were never actually enemies #like dont get me wrong wally definitely hurt his feelings at times #but also again remember what decade the og comics were taking place in #calling each names and being little shitheads to each other was just what they were all doing #like it was more rare for them to use their actual hero names aldhg #and garth at the time didnt have an issue with this! he was joining in!#he absolutely saw wally as a friend and vice versa despite some of their arguments #roy on the other hand was Not a friend to garth but Again he was being like that to everyone #like it was never Garth Specifically yknow?#the only reason their relationship looks so bad compared to the others is just because garth left and they never bonded #so as adults theyre still acting weird around each other #but even then roy was never a mouthpiece for fans who didnt like garth. he was just like that #it was literally just their relationship #not every relationship is good!! sometimes its a toxic cesspool!!! alhgdlja #answered

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princessmisery666 · 5 months

Text

Meeting In The Darkness

Summary: You forgive Dean for what he did when he had black eyes but he can’t forgive himself.

Warnings/Genres/Troupes: angst, blood, implied torture, Demon!Dean, MOC!Dean, unresolved angst.

W/C: 2,882.

Pairing: past Dean Winchester x fem!reader (you - no descriptions of body type or ethnicity).

Bingo: @jacklesversebingo Square Filled: “Well one of us has to be wrong, and it’s not going to be me.”

A/N: @justagirlinafandomworld and @pink-sparkly-witch helped with ideas and feedback, thank you, but it has changed a little since then.

Betas: @slytherkins // all mistakes are my own.

Graphics: made by me on canva, divider @talesmaniac89

Master Lists: Dean Winchester // JAckles Verse Bingo // Main

It’s dark. Too dark. Your gun is out along with your flashlight, scanning the corners of the abandoned warehouse but the darkness seems to swallow anything beyond the end of the barrel.

Something is off and your gut tells you to get out, run fast and far. But you won’t, at least not until you find Dean. He called hours ago, said he was hurt and needed help. He sent the location pin and it brought you here. But it doesn’t feel right, it's too…quiet. Like the shadows are listening to your heartbeat.

You tried calling Dean when you arrived but it rang out until his voicemail picked up. Sam’s not answering his phone either, maybe he’s hurt too?

One foot over the other, that’s all you can focus on, not the worry making your heart beat faster. You desperately wish you’d called for back-up. Jody, Donna, hell even Garth. Except it was Dean. Your affinity for the surly hunter often clouded your judgment. He might not have time for you to wait for back-up. If Dean is hurt, he needs you now, not when the sun rises, though you doubt the dawn would penetrate the dark depths of the damp smelling warehouse.

“Dean,” you call out in a soft whisper. “Sam?”

Dean’s location blips on your screen, you're standing right on top of it, but he must be a floor above you because there’s no sign of him, and you’ve checked below. You're afraid of what you’ll find, and looking down at the illuminated screen blinds you further in the blackness that surrounds you.

“This isn’t right,” you say and have the eerie feeling someone hears you.

Your phone rings, startling you so much, it drops to the floor. Of course it lands face down so you can’t see it.

“Fuck!”

You scramble around, flashlight scanning for it, and as you step forward, you manage to kick it further away. You follow as it slides across the dusty floor, and the corner hits the wall just as it stops ringing.

You're quick to pick it up and the smell hits you as you straighten up. It isn’t dust…

Demons.

You sigh with relief when Sam’s name flashes on the caller I.D again. “Sam.”

He doesn’t offer a greeting, frantically asking, “Where are you?”

“I’m at the warehouse. Dean called, he said you-”

“Get out,” Sam panics, “get out now, run!”

You freeze, terrified to turn around as the sudden sense you aren’t alone makes the hairs on your arms stand on end.

“Sam what’s going on?” You ask, slowly backing up, trying to follow the same path to ensure you don’t trip over anything.

“Dean isn’t Dean,” Sam explains, “the Mark, it changed him. He’s a…” he struggles to finish the sentence taking a deep breath, and he utters the word as you back into a solid chest, “demon.”

“Shit.”

“Hey, sweetheart,” Dean’s voice whispers against the shell of your ear, and it sounds as dark as the shadows.

He takes the phone from your hand and hangs up, throwing the device over his shoulder. He runs his fingers down your arms, shoulder to wrist. For the briefest of moments, you convince yourself it’s a gentle caress, a sweet ‘I missed you’ in Dean’s language, until he wraps his fingers around yours and the gun.

You forgot you had the weapon, despite Sam’s frantic warning, you’ve never feared Dean, and it’s not like you’d have shot him. But you know you’ll soon regret that thought.

“Give it up,” he instructs, with little room for argument, almost crushing your fingers beneath his.

You surrender it, cautiously taking a half step forward and turning at the same time when you feel Dean lean back to hand off the gun to someone you can’t see. He’s unnaturally fast, and before you can take a breath, he has you pinned against the wall, arms above your head. The flashlight falls, making the shadows dance, and as if on cue, the room's light illuminates, blinding you.

You squeeze your eyes shut against the assault and debate whether to keep them closed, afraid of what else is lurking in the room.

Dean demands, “Look at me,” and you know you’d be a fool to disobey.

Finally, when you find the courage to follow his command, you look up at him. Black drowns his pretty eyes, and his smile is fiendish.

“Please don’t say here’s Johnny,” you quip though you feel yourself start to tremble.

Dean laughs, but it doesn’t hold an ounce of amusement. “Johnny ain’t got nothing on me.”

You look over his shoulder, an army of demons line the walls looking at you with a fatal hunger.

“Is this…” You can’t say it, recognizing that this is the place Crowley kept the alphas. The room where you saved Meg from Alistair’s clutches. You don’t know what you're asking for exactly; to be let go, to make it quick or something else, but the word falls from you in a shaky breath. “Please.”

“Oh, don’t start begging yet,” Dean tuts, “you’ll spoil all the fun.”

“Fun?”

“See Sammy doesn’t believe that I’m no longer his big brother,” he explains, sounding irritated and bored.

“Dean, you don’t…”

His hand wraps around your throat, lithe fingers reaching from ear to ear, and he cuts off your air to stop you from talking. “I’m tired of telling him to leave me alone, so I thought it’s time to really show him what I am. Maybe when I’m done here, he’ll let me go.”

Dean POV

I watch you thrash and squirm in your sleep. I know better than to wake you. Luckily, my reflexes saved me from any real damage but I have the scar to remind me of the knife you keep tucked under your pillow.

“Dean, you don’t…” you whimper into the dream world.

Only, I know it's not a dream. It's a memory, playing out in full high definition. Unfortunately, I remember what happens next too.

I’ve tried running from the man - thing - I was, but I guess I’m too slow. It catches up to me in waves, winds me so much I clutch my chest, digging my fingers into my skin, hoping I’m somehow strong enough to break the flesh and rip my own heart out. Because that’s what it feels like while I watch you struggle. Every thrash or whimper is a blow to my chest, and I can’t catch my breath.

I’ve waited at the bottom of a hundred bottles, drowning while I waited for you to come back. Waging a war against myself, punishing myself the only way I know how, abusing my body and falling into bed with any woman willing to sleep with the down and out drunk.

I denied myself access to you. And you never called me. When finally I thought I had gotten away with it and felt a spark of relief that I wouldn’t ever have to face you again, like magic, you appeared.

That agony swallowed me whole, and I still feel like some big bad is chomping on my insides. It’s no less than I deserve, and heaven knows I’m never getting over you or what I did.

I remember the pact you made, a vow etched in your blood as I slowly and painfully drew it from your body. “When all this is over,” your lip trembled, but the conviction was in your eyes. So much so, even the demon in me was intrigued with the absolute belief written on your bloodied features. “When Sam has fixed you…” you swallowed thickly, found a last ounce of strength and told me - him - “I can wait for you at the bottom. I can stay away if you want me to, and I’ll wait for years if I have to, but I’ll see you again, and I’ll forgive you, Dean.”

I thought when your blood dried, you’d take it back, but apparently you haven’t. Because here you are, back at the bunker, sleeping in your old room. Is this what your forgiveness looks like? Pretending like nothing happened, even though you still have the scars, physical and mental, to show that it did.

Your jerking movements stop and I hope that the nightmare has passed when you roll to lay on your back. I wait a few minutes, watching your body relax, your eyes remain closed, and your frown smooth as your breathing evens out.

“Dean.”

It sounds intentional but you still look like you're asleep. You sigh heavily, hand coming up to rub your eyes open, and then you’re looking at me. A mixture of tiredness and weariness in your expression.

“Did I wake you?”

I can’t help but huff a laugh. You woke me. Seriously? I’m literally the thing in your nightmares, but you’re worried about waking me. It’s infuriating and typical.

“No, I haven’t been to bed yet.” I haven’t been sleeping much lately, but with you here, I knew it was useless to even try.

You roll on to your back, stare up at the ceiling and ask, “Where’re you gonna run to?”

You’re not completely wrong. I thought about jumping in Baby and hauling ass in any direction. I wish I had. I didn’t because I owe you at least an opportunity to tell me how much you hate me, remind me that I fucked us up, all because I couldn’t lose Sammy. Worst part is, I think you know I’d do it again.

Silence deafens me for a long time, and I can’t be sure if you’ve fallen asleep or not, until you deliver a blow I never expected.

“I still love you.”

I really did do some permanent damage because that’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard you say, and you’ve never said it before today. It’s always been on the tip of your tongue. I could see it in the moments you wanted to say it, especially the moments it wouldn’t have changed anything because then you’d have been saying it for you, to make yourself feel better, knowing I was going to hell or purgatory or wherever I was headed knowing how you felt. But now you're saying it for me because it’s what I need to hear, despite that I doubt the truth of it.

You shuffle to sit up, stare at me through the darkness, repeating, “I still love you, Dean.”

“You shouldn’t.”

You lean over to switch on the lamp, a slight jesting smirk when you look back at me. “Well, one of us has to be wrong, and it’s not going to be me.”

You say it so unbelievably casual as if you're commenting on the weather, and I know you’re trying to lighten the mood, but I just don’t have it in me to make jokes.

“There’s a first time for everything,” I counter, “and this is that time. You don’t love me, you love the idea of me, and I wish I was the guy you think I am, but I’m not and I won’t ever be.”

You sigh, and though you're too far away from me, I swear I feel it. As if a ghost just showed up, the temperature drops a few degrees, and a cold shiver runs through me when you mutter, “I know,” looking down at your fidgeting hands in your lap.

Son of a bitch. Why does that sting like a rock salt shot to my chest?

“But you're not the villain you think you are, either,” you say, softly, as if you're talking to yourself, and you may as well be because I’ll listen, but I won’t hear it.

“Villain, monster, all means the same.”

“You know what your problem is?” There’s no softness to your tone now. You're getting angry, and that makes more sense to me. You should be angry, furious, murderous even, but you won’t claim it like you should.

Regardless of your right to be furious with me, I bite back, “I have a few, but why don’t you tell me?”

“You don’t think you're worthy of love, that anyone who cares for you has been fooled into doing so, but what you don’t see is that you prove yourself worthy over and over again. The sacrifices you make, you put everyone - damn, the world - above yourself, and that makes you worthy.”

There’s that conviction again, the same undeniable faith you had when I had you tied down and bleeding out. You believe everything you just said, but it's the second time you’ve been wrong today.

“You’re wrong,” I say. “All the sacrifices I make are for selfish reasons, to save Sam, so I don’t have to live without my brother. That’s not commendable. And all the other times it was probably to fix a mistake I made trying to save Sam. I’m not worthy. I’m a screw up.”

You shrug, “Difference of opinion, I guess.”

Letting out a frustrated sigh, I shake my head, looking up at the ceiling as if I’ll be able to see the sanity you’ve so clearly let go of floating around up there. As my eyes drift back down, they land on your duffle sitting on the chair. It’s packed up tight still, the clothes you were wearing when you arrived neatly folded on top, boots on the floor beneath it.

You’re saying all this, claiming you love me but it looks as though you're ready to leave at the drop of a hat. “Not planning on staying?”

“Hadn’t decided yet, needed to know if I was too much of a reminder or if you could get past it all.”

“Get past it?” I shout. “It’s not some minor accident, YN. I didn’t accidentally step on your foot. I ran a blade through your skin, repeatedly. I took pleasure in hearing you scream. I was proud of how your blood dripped onto the floor!”

My rage makes you jump out of the bed. You, quite literally, won’t take this sitting down. You cross the room and get in my face. “I got past it, so why can’t you?”

I laugh, there’s no humor in it, but it's either that or smash my fist into the door. “You're past it, huh? So I wasn’t just stalking your sleep, walking around with black eyes and a knife soaked in your blood?”

You avert your gaze and take a half step back. I’ve won, I see the fight drain out of you in the way your shoulders slump. I don’t feel good about it.

“You came here to forgive me.” You meet my gaze and it’s right there, I can see it reflected back in your tearful expression. “But I don’t need it,” I say, as the first tear slips free, “and I really don’t want it.”

“We can’t go back.”

You’re not asking a question, you're speaking the realization aloud. But to be sure you understand, I add, “And there’s no going forward.”

Your gaze flicks to your unpacked bag. You inhale slowly and hold it for a long pause. “I won’t stay where I’m not wanted,” you exhale, “So when I leave, I’m not coming back.”

That’s not true. You are wanted, more than you’ll ever know and more than I could ever express, but it doesn’t matter. Wanting you is not enough to keep what I did in the shadows.

It’s a dick thing to do, but the hurt I’m causing you now, the pain that is free flowing from your eyes, is nothing compared to what will happen if you stick around. “Finally,” I sigh, “something we agree on.”

You hand flexes at your side, balls into a fist while you decide whether to strike me or not. I brace myself, expecting the blow. I deserve it. It’s what I need, a flare of anger, a singular moment to show me that I haven’t slaughtered the fight left in you.

Your hand relaxes, and the resolve, with such a finality I’ll never forget, settles in your eyes.

You’ve given up on me.

It’s for the best and there’s nothing left to say, so I turn and walk away.

It doesn’t take you long to get dressed, and I can’t bear to watch you leave, but I wait around the corner, out of sight, listening to your movements.

When you leave your room, I follow your departure through the halls, trying not to inhale your scent too deeply, knowing the memories it will ignite will burn my resolve.

Your truck door slams, but the engine doesn’t start, and I hold my breath. Are you fighting with yourself to leave or stay?

I don’t know which would make me feel worse.

The engine starts, and I drift closer to the garage door. I push it open a crack, enough to see you resting your head on your hands that grip the wheel so tight, I can feel the sting on my own palms. Your shoulders heave with your tears that the old cranky engine drowns out.

I do nothing but stare. The irony isn’t lost on me, I did the same thing that day in the warehouse; waiting, watching. The only difference is, as you drive away I’m the one left bleeding out and tortured.

Tags Info.

Tags: @alexxavicry / @b3autyfuldisast3r / @deandreamernp / @deanwinchesterswitch / @fandom-princess-forevermore / @foxyjwls007 / @jc-winchester / @justagirlinafandomworld / @katbratsupernaturalwhore / @leigh70 / @letsbys-library / @lyarr24 / @mrswhozeewhatsis / @nancymcl / @shanimallina87 / @stoneyggirl2 / @waywardbaby / @wildbornsiren / @writercole / @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior / @pank0w / @kmc1989/ @deans-spinster-witch / @spnbaby-67 / @roseblue373

Master Lists: Dean Winchester // JAckles Verse Bingo // Main

#dean winchester #dean winchester fic #dean winchester angst #jacklesversebingo23 #dean winchester x you #demon dean #angst #spn #supernatural #spn fic #spn fanfic #supernatural fic #supernatural fanfic #blood #unresolved angst

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octoberclidan · 1 year

Text

Are You Okay?

Pairing: Dean Winchester x reader

Summary: Reader (she/her) is a hunter who lives in the bunker and helps out with hunts, but tends to stick more to the research side of things. Sam is unable to go on the hunt due to a previous injury that hasn't healed yet, so Dean asks the reader to go with him and let Sam do the research. Reader gets hurt on hunt, Dean feels guilty, they both end up comforting the other.

Note: this was written by myself for myself; there are probably mistakes. My first language is English but I'm not American, so it may sound weird in places if you happen to be American reading it. If you do happen to come across this and spend time reading it, I hope you enjoy it somewhat!

Masterlist

Story:

[Y/N] was sitting on her bed in the bunker, flicking through a book she had found in the library earlier that morning on vampires that she hadn't read yet. Pillow propped up behind her back on the headboard, soft blanket covering her legs, it was a comfortable, quiet morning. Sam had found a new case not far from the bunker that sounded a lot like vampires. In the past, [Y/N] would accompany the boys on hunts; she was skilled with a variety of weapons, was quick to think on her feet, and it helped having a third set of eyes. A few months ago however, [Y/N] had made a stupid mistake on what should have been a simple salt and burn. She had been tired, completely misread the situation, and ended up causing the victim to get hurt. No one died, but it had taken away a lot of [Y/N]'s confidence. She had resigned to taking on more of a research role rather than joining the boys out in the field. This was something both of them had made known that they weren't happy with; they missed having her out there with them.

The quiet was disturbed by a loud knock on the door, followed by the door cracking open to reveal Dean on the other side, who never seemed to wait for answer between knocking and opening when it came to doors. Dean pushed the door open and crossed his arms, leaning against the doorframe. He looked at [Y/N] and raised an eyebrow.

"What?" She asked.

"Comfortable?"

"Yes, why, is that a crime now?"

Dean shook his head and uncrossed his arms, stepped toward [Y/N]'s bed and motioned for her to move her feet so he could sit at the end of her bed. With a huff of fake annoyance, she moved her feet and felt the bed dip as he sat beside her.

"There's a change of plans with the hunt we found last night, Sam still can't walk with his leg" Dean explained.

"What? I thought you called Cas to come heal him last night?"

"Yeah, he didn't answer. He must still be tied up with whatever angel shit is going on in Heaven".

"Right, well you're not planning on doing the hunt solo, are you?" [Y/N] closed her book and placed it beside her before folding her arms and waiting for Dean's answer. She wouldn't put it past him to take it upon himself to clear out a nest of vampires on his own. He slapped his hand down on her leg playfully and grinned at her.

"Nope! You're gonna come with me, just like old times" he winked at her.

"Dean... I haven't been on an actual hunt in months, I don't know. I'm more than happy to help out with the research, isn't there someone else you can ask to help you? Garth? Jody?" [Y/N] nervously started picking at the cover of her vampire book.

"I have Sam for research this time, I need you out there with me [Y/N]" he gave her a small smile of encouragement.

"I'm sorry Dean, I'm just not ready to get back out there. Not to mention I'm out of practice, even if I didn't mess up due to stupidity, I'm not as fit as I was months ago, I'd only slow you down and end up putting you in danger" [Y/N] was avoiding Dean's gaze, becoming increasingly interested in picking off a piece of the crumbling leather on the cover of the book.

Dean reached forward, placing his index finger and thumb on either side of [Y/N]'s jaw and moved her head gently, forcing her to look at him. "You're more than capable of helping, and not just by researching. You're one of the best shooters I've ever met Sweetheart".

"Not much use with vampires Dean, it's a bit hard to decapitate someone with a gun".

"True, but it's a lot easier to decapitate a vamp when it's been shot with a dart full of dead man's blood". Dean stood up from the bed and extended his hand to [Y/N]. "Come on, Sam's figured out the general area that they're hiding, we'll be in and out and back here before tonight".

***

[Y/N] spent the entire car ride to the abandoned warehouse worrying about how the hunt was going to go down. They had narrowed down the location of the nest and were anticipating two, or maybe three vamps at most. Dean was relaxed, tapping his fingers on the wheel in time with his music and humming along. [Y/n] couldn't help but smile, seeing him relaxed, enjoying his music, on his way to kill a bunch of monsters. Dean was in his element. She'd been harbouring a bit of a crush on the hunter for awhile now. Dean was tall, strong, charming, made [Y/N] feel safe and wanted, and she cared deeply for him. She knew he cared about her too, which just worried her, thinking that he would put her safety above his own, and that she would end up putting his life in danger by joining him on this hunt.

"Are you okay? You know it's like riding a bike, hunting?"

"Yeah Dean I'm fine, I think riding a bike is a lot safer than hunting though"

Dean scoffed and reached over to pat [Y/N]'s thigh, sending a small shock of electricity through her. She could feel the heat in her cheeks from his touch, and looked away out the window hoping he didn't notice. "We have a plan [Y/N]. We survey the outside, figure out where they are, then you shoot them and I chop their heads off. We'll stick together the entire time, you've nothing to worry about" Dean smiled at her and gave her thigh a small squeeze before returning his hand to the steering wheel, which brought [Y/N] both relief and disappointment.

***

When they arrived at the warehouse they stayed in the car watching for signs of movement, then together, made their way around the building. There appeared to be two doors, one at the front and one at the back. [Y/N] knew that it made more sense for one of them to take the front and the other to take the back, but Dean had been adamant about sticking together.

"Dean we should probably split up. There's no point in both of us going through one door, that just leaves room for them to escape out the other" [Y/N] pointed out. He knew she was right, if the two of them went through one door, the vampires would easily escape before the hunters had the chance to shoot them with the dead man's blood darts they had with them, and the entire hunt would have been pointless. He didn't like it, but he couldn't argue with her logic.

"Fine, I'll head around the back. You go in through the front door, try shoot if you can, scare them so they try leave out the back door where I'll be waiting for them"

[Y/N] nodded in agreement and turned to start walking towards the front door when Dean grabbed her wrist. "[Y/N], if anything doesn't go according to plan, if one of them tries to attack you, you get out of there immediately, alright? You get out, head straight to Baby, and drive. Here, take the keys"

"Dean I'm not taking the keys. If this goes south I am not just going to drive off and leave you here, don't be ridiculous" [Y/N] shook her head and pulled her arm back from him. "You go around to the back, I'll wait a couple minutes and then I'll go in, shoot them, we cut their heads off, we drive back to the bunker and job done. That's the plan right?" She smiled at him

Dean just sighed and nodded, mumbling something while putting his keys back in his pocket. He then left to walk around the back of the warehouse. [Y/N], holding both the little dart gun filled with dead man's blood and her machete, made her way over to the front door of the building. After waiting a couple of minutes, she pushed the door open. Two surprised vampires snapped their heads in her direction before jumping up and turning towards the back door. Quickly, [Y/N] took aim and manged to hit the closer one, causing him to fall to the ground clutching his neck. The other one had made it to the back door, only to be met by Dean Winchester, swinging his machete and chopping her head clean off. [Y/N] started towards the one on the ground when Dean looked up to smile at her, it was nice when hunts went according to plan. His face quickly fell however when he spotted a third vampire right beside her. "[Y/N] to your right!"

[Y/N] moved to turn her head to her right but it was too late, the vampire had charged at her, knocking her to the ground and hitting her head off the concrete floor. He then made a dash for the door that [Y/N] had come through, but Dean was too quick. Dean pulled the vampire back by his collar, pushing him to the floor before slicing his head off. He quickly went back to the other vampire on the floor, giving him the same treatment. Dean then rushed to [Y/N] and fell to his knees beside her, slipping a hand under her neck and pressing his other to the left side of her chest, feeling for a heartbeat.

"[Y/N] can you open your eyes for me Sweetheart? Are you okay?"

[Y/N] was awake but was struggling to open her eyes, a dull throb at the back of her head. Dean's hand moved from her chest to cup her cheek.

"Hey, hey [Y/N] you're gonna have to open your eyes for me okay? You're okay, just open your eyes, please." Dean pleaded with her. With much effort, she managed to open her eyes, straining to try and focus on the green eyes frantically searching for recognition. Dean let out a sigh of relief when her eyes locked onto his, moving the hand under neck down to her shoulders, and the other one beneath her knees. He lifted her up and walked out to the car, gently laying her in Baby's back seat.

He tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and looked into her eyes. "You stay awake for me until we back to the bunker okay? No falling asleep. We'll get you back and have a proper look at your head. Fuck [Y/N] I am so, so sorry I forced you to come out here with me". He looked away from her now, the guilt starting to replace the panic. He felt a squeeze on his hand and looked back up to her, to see her smiling softly at him.

"I'm okay Dean, I feel more awake now, it's probably just a minor concussion". Dean couldn't quite manage to smile back at her but he did return the squeeze in her hand before closing the back door and slipping into the driver's seat.

***

Dean carried [Y/N] down the stairs of the bunker. The sound of his steps drew Sam out from the library, and when he saw [Y/N] he hobbled over to them as quickly as he could, his leg still causing issues.

"[Y/N]? Are you okay? What happened?"

"I'm fine Sam, we got the vamps, I just hit my head is all."

"Okay, Dean can you lay her down on her bed and I'll take a look?"

Dean nodded and began walking towards the bedrooms. He didn't stop at [Y/N]'s room, he continued walking towards his own. He pushed open the door and lay her down on the bed before sitting down beside her. "Memory foam, you'll be more comfortable here".

"Thanks Dean. I really am fine though, I'll just have a headache probably". He didn't answer, but he took her hand in his and held it while they waited for Sam. Once Sam came into the room to check her over, Dean left to go find a beer in the kitchen.

***

"She's going to be fine, I'm pretty sure she doesn't have a concussion. She said she doesn't think she blacked out or anything, just was a bit out of it when she fell. She'll have a headache tomorrow for sure and probably a bruise to go along with it, but she'll be good as new after a night's rest. She should probably rest for the day tomorrow too."

"Thanks Sammy." Dean took a swig of his bottle.

"You okay man?"

"Yup."

"Why don't you tell her?"

"Tell her what Sam?"

"How you feel?"

"What like shit? Like she told me she didn't want to come with me and I forced her into it and almost got her killed and now I can't even look at her without the guilt killing me?"

"No, that you have feelings for her."

Dean scoffed and continued his drink, and Sam sighed, leaving Dean to his thoughts.

***

A couple hours and a couple more bottles later, Dean figured it was late enough that [Y/N] was probably asleep. He made his way to his room, quietly opening the door to a dark room. He took off his shoes and shrugged off his flannel, keeping on the t-shirt underneath. He changed his jeans into pyjama bottoms and slid into his bed on the empty side. He kept his distance from her, not wanting to invade her personal space more than he'd already had to that day.

"I'm sorry [Y/N]." He whispered to her sleeping form. "I thought you were gone. When I saw your eyes closed, and you were lying still on the floor... I can't lose you. You and Sam and Cas, you're my family, I can't lose any of you. I need you."

"I love you too Dean". She whispered, turning around to face him. His eyes widened, and he felt embarrassed that she had just heard everything he confessed.

"Are you-"

"I'm okay Dean". She shuffled towards him a little and he opened his arms, letting her lay her head on his chest. He wrapped one arm around her and softly kissed her forehead. She drew little patterns on his chest while he did the same with her shoulder. [Y/N] was lulled to sleep by Dean's consistent breathing, and he was comforted by hers. She was okay, she was safe in his arms, and she loved him. Sam was right, Dean was in love with [Y/N].

The end

#dean winchester #dean winchester fanfic #dean winchester fluff #dean x reader #dean x y/n #dean winchester fic #dean winchester x reader #supernatural fic #dean winchester supernatural #supernatural fluff #dean winchester comfort #supernatural #spn

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obsessedelusional · 1 year

Text

Destroying Yourself to Keep a Friend

paring ✦ Eddie Munson x Fem Reader

summary ✦ You befriend Eddie Munson as an attempt to piss off your toxic on and off again boyfriend, Jason Carver. Only for you start comparing the two, quickly realizing Jason is no longer who you have feelings for. MODERN AU

word count ✦ 6.9k

authors note ✦ This song has been stuck in my head for weeks inspired this piece. 10/10 recommend you giving it a listen Drunk Text by Henry Moodie REPOSTING THIS BC NO ONE SAW IT ):

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FEEDBACK AND REBLOGS APPRECIATED!!

⊹ ꙳ ✦ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹

1st of November

The night had started because you had a gut feeling about Jason doing something shady. He started growing more distant than he already was. When you two found time to be together, he was hiding his phone. Rumors starting circulating around school that he was cheating on you. So when found out he was at a party that you didn’t know about you had to show up. Eddie was your ride, waiting for you outside. Only to arrive and see some blonde wrapped around his waist, she was a cheerleader. You stood there, Jason entirely oblivious to your arrival. Until she kissed him, him kissing her back.

“I can’t believe you.” You say, causing Jason to look up wide eyed from the kiss, pushing the girl off him.

“No it’s not what it looks like.” He pleads with you, reaching out to you. You push his hands away.

“Fuck this.” You mutter, as you leave. He follows you outside.

“I just thought that’s what we’re doing now. Fucking around with other people.” He yells from the front door, you’ve almost reached Eddie’s van.

“I’m not stupid. You’ve been fucking Munson.” He accuses you causing you whip around to face him.

“You are stupid. So fucking stupid. I haven’t done anything with him only because I’ve been faithful to you!” You croak. Jason reaches for you once again, profusely apologizing.

“Fuck you.” You say before hopping in Eddie’s van. That’s when it hits you, he definitely heard all of that.

“Are you okay?” He asks.

“I really don’t want to talk about it.” The rest of the ride is silent. Only a quick goodbye when he drops you off at your home. Before you can even make it to your door he catches up with you stopping you from going inside, he wants to say something but can’t get it out. Jason’s car pulls up to your house.

“I swear if you get in that car with him whatever this is we’re done. I can’t do this anymore.” Eddie admits, finally hitting his breaking point.

“Eddie-“

“I’m serious. I can’t keep standing by watching Jason treat you like shit.” The sight in front of you breaks your heart, you can feel the pain in his voice. More upset at how you’ve made Eddie feel than just finding out Jason’s been cheating on you. Jason is yelling from his Jeep parked out in the road, demanding you to leave with him.

“I’m sorry. I can’t-” Your voice is shaky.

“Forget it.” Eddie says, turning around leaving you on your front porch. He says some not so nice but we’ll deserved words to Jason before hopping in his van and driving off. Jason climbs out of his car approaching you. You can’t handle this. You don’t want Jason. You want Eddie but that’s not fair to either of them right now. You need to be alone. Before Jason can reach you, you slip in side quickly locking the door behind you.

“What the fuck?” Jason yells, rattling the door handle.

“Go away, Jason.” You say between his screaming. You find your headphones, find the playlist of all your saddest songs and turn the volume so high you can’t hear him anymore.

—

5th of November - A Few Days Later

“Dude you need to tell her how you feel. Get it over with.” Jeff grumbles irritated by this entire situation. Jeff and Garth always being there to console Eddie after your many breakups with your on and off again boyfriend, Jason Carver. Eddie knows Jeff’s right but simply refuses to take his advice.

“You know it’s not that easy.” Eddie groans, rubbing his eyes from lack of sleep he’s been having this last week. He hasn’t spoken to you since the first, the night you caught Jason cheating. He’s been staying up late every night drafting messages to send you. A message that would let you know how he truly felt. Usually going something like this:

I wish I was who you drunk texted at midnight. Wish I was the reason you stay up 'til 3, you can't fall asleep because you’re waiting for me to reply. I wish I was more than just someone you walk by. That I wasn't scared to be honest and open, instead of just hoping you’d feel what I'm feeling inside.

DELETE

“You’re destroying yourself to keep a friend.” Garth says.

“A shitty friend at that.” Jeff adds.

“Jason cheated on her. Yet she went back to him. What more does she have to do for you to move on?” Garth asks, Jeff nodding in agreement.

—

The Past

Two years ago you befriended Eddie to spite Jason, he was well aware of that but still let you hang around. Only for you to find the person you felt safest around. You could be your self without the fear of judgement. It didn’t take long before Eddie was the one you ran to at any minor inconvenience or major.

You’d been dating Jason since junior high, now the two of you seniors in high school. He wasn’t the sweet kid you grew to love any more. He was bully to everyone, especially you. Things really began going downhill when he joined high school basketball his freshman year. Harassing you to become a cheerleader because the best basketball player should have a cheer leader girlfriend. You did it for six months before quitting, the cliquey bullshit too much to handle. That was the first time he broke up with you. Lasted all of a week until he came back, begging you to take him back. You did, part of you regrets that to this day.

Several months later you overheard the popular girls talking about how they didn’t understand why Jason was with you. Tears in your eyes you went to Jason in the hopes he’d soothe your worries. Only for him to confirm what they were saying about you. ‘What do you expect? I’m on the basketball team and you’re nobody. I tried to help you by having you join the cheer squad. Sometimes I wonder why I’m even with you.’

His evil words only made you angry, you broke it off with him on the spot. His teammates watched the whole thing go down because you interrupted their practice to talk to him. You were so embarrassed. On your way out of the gym you bumped into Eddie Munson with tears running down your cheeks.

“I’m sorry.” You whisper, looking up at the tall man in front of you.

“It’s okay…” His voice trails off when he notices your teary eyes.

“Are you okay?” He asks, genuine concern in his voice and eyes. You’re not sure what comes over you but almost immediately you start crying even harder and muttering ‘Jason is a dick’.

“That’s something we can agree on.” He laughs, bringing a smile to your face while still crying attempting to rub the tears away.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Eddie asks, you half wondering why he’s being so nice to you considering how terrible Jason is to him. While also thinking to yourself Jason finding out you’ve been hanging around Munson would infuriate him. Maybe feel as half as angry as you feel in this moment. You nod yes before following Eddie to the drama club room.

There was an hour till his Hell Fire club meeting. The two of you sat on a used and abused love seat, he listened as you ranted spilling all the details of your breakup. He actually listened, Jason never listens to you anymore. More often than not talking over you. You felt bad comparing the two of them but couldn’t help it. Your moment with Eddie was cut short when Dustin came into the room, he looked surprised by your presence.

“I should get going. Thanks for listening to me.” You smile, standing up. Eddie follows you standing up, startled when you wrap your arms around him. Hugging him before leaving, giving Dustin an awkward smile as you walk out the room.

“What the fuck were you doing with Jason Carvers girlfriend?” Is what you hear from outside the room.

—

Eddie thought that was the end of you two. Only to receive a friend request from you that night. He accepts it and without missing a beat, you message him. Thanking him again.

Eddie: it’s no biggy

You: it was to me

Eddie: ya know I thought you’d be different

You: wdym

Eddie: your nice just always assumed anyone who could put up with Jason Carver had to just as awful

You: well I always thought you were scary but turns out you’re pretty sweet

Eddie can’t help but blush at your words. Realizing quickly he shouldn’t be reacting this way. Your Jason Carvers ex girlfriend, you could never be with a freak like him.

Eddie: me? sweet? never.

—

Eddie spent the entirety of that weekend glued to his phone waiting for your responses. He kept telling him self he needed to stop messaging you. Only for you to respond and he’d waste no time sending you a message back.

“Who the hell are you talking to that’s taking all your attention?” Jeff asks. Nobody believes him when he says he’s messaging you.

“Jason Carvers girlfriend? There’s no fucking way.” Garth sneers.

“Ex-girlfriend.” Eddie smiles causing Jeff and Garth to laugh.

“They’ve broken up like a bajillion times. They’ll be back together in a week.”

“Whatever.” Eddie mutters, good mood ruined.

They were right. A week later you and Jason had made up, dating again. To say Eddie was disappointed was an understatement. For a brief moment he genuinely thought you were feeling what he was feeling inside. Thought maybe he had a real chance with you. When he arrived to school seeing you hand in hand with Jason his heart broke. Confused how after all the shitty things you admitted about Jason you’d go back to him.

“Hey Eddie.” You smile, greeting him before the first bell.

“You look… tired.” He says, trying his best to show concern but not be rude. To put it frank you looked like shit.

“Yeah I got drunk last night. Stayed up till three am waiting for Jason to respond to the stupid drunk text I sent him.” You groan sitting next to him.

“Really?” Eddie asks, wishing he was the one you drunk texted. Wishing he was the reason you couldn’t sleep waiting for him to reply.

“Worked though because he was at my house early as fuck, apologies ready. We made up.” You smile half heartedly, part of you looking for Eddie’s reaction. He has none.

“That good.” Eddie fakes a smile before leaving you alone. He had to pretend like he was happy for you. It only got worse when later that day he was stopped by Jason in the hallway.

“You need to leave her alone, freak. As if she’d want anything to do with you.” Jasons words spit in Eddie’s face.

“We’re just friends.” Eddie says before Jason shoves past him sending him into the lockers. Jason walks off as Eddie regains his balance, picking up his backpack from the floor. Sadder than ever.

Eddie had no idea that you had been given the same instructions. You were right, befriending Eddie pissed Jason off. So much that he apologized for what he said.

Even with Jason threats, that didn’t stop you. The harder he tried to keep you two apart only made you closer to Eddie. Every time Jason pushed you away he was pushing you into Eddie’s arms.

This became most evident to you when your nana past away. As soon as you found out you called Eddie. To this day Jason doesn’t know she passed away. That night when you called Eddie tears in your eyes he dropped what he was doing to pick you up. Showed up to your home with all your favorite snacks and the first Lord of The Rings movie. You had listened to Eddie talk about it so much. Eventually asking if he’d watch them with you so you could further understand his ramblings. He was more than ecstatic to watch them with you.

That’s the night you started lying to your parents but more importantly lying to Jason. Lying about where you spent that night. And nearly every Friday night after that, using the next movie in LOTR series as an excuse to keep sleeping over at Eddie’s. After finishing that he talked you into watching The Hobbit, you happily watched given an excuse to spend more time with Eddie. You’d miss Jason’s basketball games to be with him. When first being picked up you were always filled with guilt. Only for the feeling to subside when you see Eddie’s smiling face in the drivers seat. Little did you know that Eddie was missing out on HellFire meetings eventually having to change the day they held the meetings to Thursdays. That didn’t go over well with the guys, only adding to their list of reasons to dislike you.

Sleepovers at Eddie’s started off as innocent. His uncle worked nights so you’d two have the trailer to yourselves. At first he offered you his bed while he slept on the couch. That only lasted a few times before he started sleeping on the floor near his bed where you slept. The next time you were upset about something Jason did you fell asleep on his chest, face sticky from crying. He didn’t dare move you, shortly falling asleep under your touch. After that is was just some kind of unspoken rule that it was okay to sleep in the same bed. Couldn’t help but worry what Jason would think, how mad it would make him. What he would do to Eddie if he knew.

One night spent at Eddie’s lead to drinking. The two of you got drunk together. Only Eddie didn’t drink nearly as much as you, wanted to make sure you were safe. One of you needed to be sober and he was more than happy be the coherent person in the room. You were angry at Jason and wanted nothing more than to forget. It was nearly midnight when you pulled your phone out and started drunk texting Jason. Letting him know exactly how mad you were, Eddie fast asleep next to you. The message made no sense, filled with errors.

You: duck you us used to be soooo good now your a asshole

Jason: where the fuck are you

You started panicking immediately. Remembering that Jason definitely had your location on. Always turning it off when Eddie picked you up. Texting him only made him think to check it realizing it was off.

You: nunya

Jason: wtf

You: business lol

It wasn’t that funny though. Your phone started blowing up. Him asking if your drunk and how you better not be with Eddie. Several missed calls and texts leads you to shutting your phone off. You lay awake till 3 am. Your brain storming with your thoughts. Praying that Jason doesn’t just show up to Eddie’s home cause that’s definitely something he’d do. After a few restless hours you decide to focus on the beautiful sweet man next to you. You truly felt like you didn’t deserve him. He was so nice, always there for you. You watch Eddie for a while, watching the way his chest moves as he snores. The moon light from the window, giving you just enough light to admire him. You’re too busy examining the tattoos on his arms to notice him waking up.

“Everything okay?” He asks voice low and scratchy, startling you. He rubs the sleep from his eyes, sitting up better to see you.

“Kinda.” You whisper.

“Kinda?”

“I did something so stupid.” You groan, remembering the events before Eddie woke up.

“What did you?” He asks worry in his voice. You turn your phone back on, waiting for the screen to turn on you start explaining.

“I drunk texted Jason.” Eddie says your name in a disappointed voice. Just as he does that your phone turns on dinging from all the missed texts.

“Is that him?” Eddie asks.

“Yes.” The messaged stop on the most recent one, from forty minutes ago.

Jason: whatever he can have you. you two freaks deserve each other

“What’s he saying?” Eddie asks, concerned.

“He wants to know where I’m at. Why my location is off.” You leave out the messages about him. Eddie doesn’t say anything.

“I was scared he was gonna show up here. I think he’s given up for now, I’m sorry.” You apologize for waking him up.

“It’s fine.” He says half heartedly before turning his back to you to go back to sleep. You can’t help but feel like it’s not fine.

The next morning you woke up early. Did your best to not wake Eddie up as you slinked out of bed. Grabbed your belongings before taking one last look at the man laying there. You couldn’t help but feel like you fucked something up. Your dads refusal to let you get license leads to you bumming rides of people. Used to be Jason but you can not call him now. A swift text to your only friend left that wasn’t pushed away by your relationship with Jason, Sarah leads to to her picking you up.

“You look like shit.” Sarah says as you climb into the passenger seat.

“I feel like shit.” You sigh.

“What happened?” She asks as she starts her car, slowly pulling out of the trailer park. You explain the events of last night.

“Why do you even put up with Jason?” Before you can respond she adds to her statement.

“When you have someone like Eddie?”

“What do you mean?” She rolls her eyes at your unawareness.

“We’ll I may of heard some things.” She admits.

“Things?”

“Ya know his friends Jeff and Garth?” You nod yes.

“They’re in my PE class. I got put into a group with them. They spent the entire period talking shit about you.” She half laughs.

“About me?” What could they possibly have to say about you?

“Yeah how Eddie’s so hopelessly in love with you but you don’t deserve him. Cause your and I quote ‘a giant bitch’. I don’t think your a bitch just a little clueless.” She laughs more, you don’t find it funny. Overwhelmed with all this new information. Everything starting to make so much sense. Sometimes you wondered if he had feelings for you. You’ve felt them there shortly after meeting Eddie. Constantly pushing them back down in the depths of your mind, trying your best to forget. All you’ve ever known is Jason.

“I don’t even know what to say.”

“Do you like Eddie?” She asks. Your lack or response is all the response she needs to know the answer.

“I’ve tried to keep my mouth shut over the years to keep you as a friend but Jason is a piece of shit. You could truly do so much better.” She explains, turning down your street. There’s a few moments of silence until she parks in front of your home.

“I’ll support you no matter what you do. Just know I’m Team Eddie.” She laughs.

“Thanks I think.”

“Plus I think Jeff’s kinda cute. We could like totally go on double dates.”

“Yeah I’m sure he’d love to be around the giant bitch.” Your voice is filled with sarcasm.

“I love the giant bitch. They’ll learn to love her too.”

Rolling your eyes, “I love you too.” You step out of her car, thanking her one last time before she drives off. Leaving you alone with all the new information. Now having to decide what you’re going to do.

—

5th of November

“Quite frankly she’s a bitch.” Jeff says laughing, Garth laughs with him.

“Shut the fuck up. You don’t know anything.” Eddie argues, a bit of anger in his tone.

“Whatever if you’re not gonna take our advice. We won’t stop you, let you destroy yourself for a friendship.” Jeff responds. The group’s attention is switched to the faint knock at the door.

“I swear to god if it’s her.” Garth groans annoyed. Eddie stands up from where he’s sat heading to the door. Part of him praying it’s not you, the other part of him always wishing it was you. The opening of the door reveals you, stood there freezing cold in the winter weather. Your nose is runny as the tears have yet to leave your eyes yet. They are there though, brimming your eyelids. Eddie’s confused as to how you got here.

“I’m sorry I just really needed to talk to you. You weren’t answering your phone and I couldn’t wait any longer.” You explain. Eddie’s desperately trying to come up with a solution. If he lets you in he pisses his friends off. If he doesn’t let you in, he misses out on being there for you. He’s always there for you.

“How’d you get here?” He asks, peering around looking for an unfamiliar vehicle that may of dropped you off.

“I walked.” You croak.

“From your house?” He sighs.

“That’s like thirty minutes of walking and in this weather? You’re gonna get sick.” His voice filled with concern.

“Yeah I really wanted to talk to you.”

“The guys are here-“ He’s immediately interrupted.

“Yeah so fuck off.” The voice is familiar, it’s Jeff. He pushed past Eddie to get in your face.

“You’re a shitty friend to Eddie. Always taking. Just leave him already and run along to Jason. Like you always do.” Jeff spits in your face. The tears leave your eyes as you try to scan Eddie’s face for his reaction. He has none, refusing to look at you.

“I’m sorry.” Is all you can mange to say, turning around to leave. Starting the walk home. Your dad had left you alone for the night so you snuck into his liquor cabinet, drinking the one you knew he didn’t care for. Trying everything in your power to numb all the feelings you were feeling. The feelings for Eddie that were there and the feelings for Jason that left a long long time ago. Beating your self up for not realizing sooner and putting Eddie through so much. You were so drunk that you thought walking to Eddie’s home to confess your feelings to him was the answer to all your problems. He wasn’t answering your messages or phone calls. The last thing you had expected was to be told to fuck off, you deserved it though. You deserved everything that had come your way.

About 20 minutes into your walk a car pulls up behind you, slowly following you. So you pick up your pace, ready to make a run for it any second. Whoever it is, is yelling your name now. You recognize the voice. Making you cry even harder because even after all you did, here is Eddie trying to give you a ride home.

“Get in my car. You’re gonna get sick.” He pleads.

“I’m fine, Eddie.” The sound of the car shutting off and the car door opening then slamming shut, doesn’t stop you. Only makes you pick up your pace.

“Acting like I won’t walk you all the way home right now.” Eddie huffs, irritated.

“You don’t have to. Please Eddie just go back to your friends. I’ll be fine.” You say, unwilling to look his way. He doesn’t stop though, an uncomfortable silence falls between you two. He keeps walking along with you. No one speaks for another ten minutes. You’re finally home, standing at your front door, your busy trying to find your keys you don’t notice Eddie moving closer.

“Are you drunk?” He ask, he can smell the liquor on you the second he opened the door to you. All you can do is nod, embarrassed by the answer. When you finally muster up the courage to look up at Eddie he’s already looking down at you. The gap between you two is small, your intoxicated self wants nothing more than to kiss him. Unsure of what you should do after the encounter at his trailer.

“I’m sorry for being a giant bitch.” Eddie laughs at your apology.

“You’re not a giant bitch. Where did you get that?” He asks, wondering how much of their conversation you heard before knocking.

“It’s the truth, Eddie. You’re so good to me and I continue running back to Jason.” You can’t believe the words coming out, the liquor in your system may be making you a little braver than usual.

“Your friends were right Eddie. You deserve someone who’s ready to be with you. I’m not ready for anything with anyone. I need to be single for a while. All I’ve ever know is Jason.” You take a moment to catch your breath.

“I walked to your house to tell you how I truly feel about you. Only to hear what your friend had to say about me, he’s right. It’s not fair to you. I’m so sorry.” A uncomfortable silence falls between you two before he takes one last look before leaving you alone, making the sad walk back to his van.

—

April the 7th

It has been five months since you had spoken to Eddie, so much has changed. At first Eddie was extremely bitter, ignoring all your attempts to be his friend still. Soon growing to regret that when he heard through the town gossip that Jason and you had actually broken up for good. You finally found the strength to leave Jason.

It’s hard for Eddie to get by when you’re still on his mind everyday. Hard for him when he sees you all over school, your new found singleness allowing you to be more involved in socializing. Every time he sees you there’s always a brief moment of eye contact, usually you the one to quickly turn away. Does he cross your mind half as much as you cross his? Do you feel the same?

Eddie still wishes he was the one you’d drunk text, stayed up late waiting for a response from. Wondering if things would of ended up differently if he had sent those texts he had drafted so long ago, when he was too afraid to lose you. He’s never been so unsure of himself. At the time Eddie didn’t know if he told you how he felt if he’d lose you. He did nothing and lost you anyways. Thinking that the worse case scenario would be stuck being your friend for the rest of his life, watching you grow older with Jason. This was worse, much worse.

To Eddie’s surprise he’s on track to graduate next month. Wishing that you were around to share in his accomplishment. You had always been Eddie’s biggest supporter. The first time Eddie failed his senior year, you were the only person to not give him shit. Excited if anything because now you two would be seniors together, get another year with Eddie. Helping him study refusing to let him cheat because you knew he had it in him. He often thinks back to the celebration you two had when he past his first test of the year with a C+. You were so proud of him and no one else cared.

“You ready?” Jeff asks, pulling Eddie from his thoughts about you as he’s driving to this stupid party Jeff somehow convinced him to attend.

“Do we really have to go?” Eddie groans, not wanting to participate in this slightest.

“Anybody that’s anybody’s gonna be at this party. You should be grateful I was able to get an invite. We’re aren’t exactly the crowd they want there.” Jeff explains. Eddie doesn’t respond only goes back to driving. The sound of Jeff and Gareth talking fills the silence as Eddie ignores them, attempting to focus on the road.

Pulling down the street where the party is being held and you can tell there’s a party near. Cars parked nearly everywhere, taking up every spot. It takes a few laps before Eddie finds a parking spot somewhat near the house.

“This is gonna be sick.” Gareth exclaims.

“Fuck yeah!” Jeff chimes in, the two running ahead of Eddie leaving him alone to walk in the party by himself. There’s people out front, he says a few hellos before making it inside. The sound of music nearly deafening. He squeezes through the crowd to find the kitchen. Grabbing a beer, cracking it open and taking a small sip. His eyes roam the room wondering why the fuck he’s here. That when he sees Jason Carver who’s zeroing in on Eddie.

“Fuck,” Eddie whispers to him self before slipping out of the kitchen. When he sees the back sliding door opened to the back door he decides to hide out side. Before he can even make it out Jason has his shoulder in his hand pulling him backwards.

“Munson,” Jason says before letting go. When Eddie turns back to face Jason the first thing he notices is the aggressive smell of liquor. Jason is wasted, his eyes droopy and shirt soaking wet with probably beer of some sort.

“What do you want?” Eddie asks.

“I just need to know did you two ever sleep together?” Jason slurs, leaning into Eddie. Eddie only nods his head no.

“Fuck,” Jason whines.

“So she really was faithful?” Jason says, tears starting to fall down his face making Eddie uncomfortable by the entire situation. Eddie nods yes, not wanting to have this conversation.

“I fucked up big time. She hasn’t talked to me since that night she caught me cheating.” Eddie listens, trying to process that you never went back to Jason that night.

“Yeah, you definitely didn’t deserve her.” Eddie says pushing Jason off.

“Doesn’t matter dude not like she wants your either.” Jason spits, anger in his voice.

“Whatever.” Eddie mumbles attempting to leave the conversation.

“You’re a fucking freak. It’s your fault we broke up. I should break you face for that.” Jason yells, his anger growing. Eddie can’t help but laugh because maybe he was a factor in your decision to leave Jason but not the reason. The laughing only infuriates Jason more.

“Honestly just go for it. Give me an excuse to finally fuck you up.” Eddie says taunting Jason, like he’s been waiting for this moment his whole life.

“She’s not worth it.” Jason laughs, attempting to leave the conversation. Those four words ignite a fire in Eddie, an anger he’s never felt before. He reaches for Jason’s shoulder forcing him to face Eddie. Before Jason can react Eddie is throwing the first punch, square in his jaw. Sending Jason stumbling back only momentarily, once he gains his balance he charges at Eddie. Eddie moves fast enough, sending Jason tumbling onto the ground. The sound of Jason hitting the ground, brings everyone attention to the two of them.

“What the fuck, Munson?” One of Jason’s friends yells approaching him. Eddie is distracted so Jason uses that as an opportunity to swing at Eddie. His fist making contact with Eddie’s brow bone. Suddenly theres a whole group of jocks surrounding Eddie ready to step in the second Jason doesn’t have the upper hand. Eddie is in over his head knowing that he needs to make an escape, wondering where the fuck his two friends are.

Everyone at the party attempts to squeeze into the kitchen to get a view of the fight. You were sat outside by the fire pit when people starting freaking about the fight inside the home.

“What’s going on in there?” Someone asks what everyone’s wondering.

“Jason’s fucking up some long haired freak.” A girl laughs causing you to stand up from your seat. Running into the house, squeezing through the crowd. Only to find Jason and Eddie in the center of it all. Jason has a bloody nose, Eddie a black eye forming.

“Stop it.” You yell, your screams muffled by all the commotion. Jason is on top of Eddie about ready to go in for another punch. You can’t let this go on any longer, your demands to stop not getting anywhere. You attempt to push Jason off Eddie, neither of them realizing that your here now. Jason goes to push you away only to elbow you in the face. Wincing in pain causes Jason to look up from Eddie seeing you standing there. He goes to apologize instead you slam all your weight into him. Didn’t take much force to send his drunk self down.

Jason is laid on the floor saying your name and apologizing profusely, wiping the blood from his nose. You pay him no attention, looking down at the man you’ve missed so much.

“Are you okay?” You ask, grabbing his hand to help him up.

“Jason is a dick.” He smiles, referencing the first time the two of you talked.

“That’s something we can agree on.” You laugh, making a stupid joke out of the situation as an attempt to hide what you’re both too afraid to say. You examine Eddie’s face, his forehead has a small gash while a bruise is becoming more visible. You intertwine your fingers with his, leading him to the nearest bathroom. Instructing him to sit on the toilet as you rummage through the drawers. Eventually finding a first aid kit. You get to work cleaning his wound then apply the pinkest girliest bandaid you could find. Eddie’s gaze never leaves you admiring the concentration on your face as you bandage him up. He so desperately wants to say something, literally anything. Too afraid to speak.

“All better.” You smile, admiring your work. Eddie grinning back up at you, words eager to leave his lips but unwilling to do just that. The bathroom door swings open, it’s Sarah. You two break eye contact, looking to her.

“Girl I was looking all over for you. Someone said you body slammed-“ She stop when she realizes what she’s walked in on.

“Oh shit sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“It’s okay. I’m all done.” You smile to Eddie before awkwardly saying goodbye, following Sarah out of the bathroom. Eddie sits there a few moments after you leave, cursing himself for not doing something that would warrant you staying longer.

You wanted nothing more than things to go back to normal. After that night you messaged him and tried to call him several times, no response. One day at school you had finally gained the courage to approach him only for him to ignore you. Made you realize after your many attempts at still being in Eddies life if it was going to happen it’d have to be on his terms. For a brief moment tonight things felt how they used to only for Sarah to interrupt bringing you back to reality.

“What was that?” Sarah’s asks breaking your train of thought, she’s dragging you outside where it’s much quieter.

“I don’t know.” You whisper, all the feelings you have for Eddie rushing to the top again.

“I heard Jason was beating him up so I ran to find them. Jason was on top of him and I tried to stop them but they wouldn’t listen. Jason elbowed me in the face so I said fuck it and slammed into him. Then I ended up in the bathroom with Eddie.” You explain, reaching for your chin it’s sore from the elbowing.

“I’m sorry I interrupted you guys. Maybe you two could of made up if it wasn’t for me.” She sighs, knowing how much you wanted that.

“It’s fine. I just have to accept that I fucked up and if we can ever be together, it’ll have to be one hundred percent on his terms. Can we just go?” You ask, your social battery had run out the second you left that bathroom.

“Yeah we can.” She says, understanding. As your walking through the house, Eddie walks out of the bathroom. He stops in his tracks when he sees you, you half smile before looking away following Sarah out of the party. You hop in her car, she turns the car off and starts the drive to your home.

“I still can’t believe Jason elbowed you.” Sarah huffs, when she finally makes it to you home. The party was about twenty minutes away from your home. The drive filled with silence and low music.

“I can believe it.” You laugh, even though it’s not that funny.

“Are you okay?” Sarah asks.

“Yeah it doesn’t hurt to bad. More hurt by the fact that Eddie still doesn’t seem to want anything to do with me. He actually talked to me for once even it was brief.” You admit.

“Girl maybe he’s too scared or some shit. You should just message him, worst case scenario he doesn’t respond. Then you can move on.” She says so you pull your phone out, pull up the last messages you had sent to Eddie five months ago.

“You do it or I’m gonna do it.” She teases.

“Fuck it.” You say your heart beating faster than it has ever before as you try to come up with the perfect text. Eventually you land on three words, simple and to the point.

You: I miss you

“If he doesn’t respond I will be up all night stressing about it. Thanks for that.” You whine, the stress already starting to get to you. You watch the screen praying for a response. The clock reads 1:37, it’s gonna be a long night.

—

You were correct. It was nearly three am and he had yet to respond. You can’t help but wonder wether or not he has you blocked because it doesn’t even show that he’s read it. Your father was out of town again and nothing sounded better than stealing from his liquor cabinet. Drink your sorrows away. After the last time you did that you promised it would never happen again. It hasn’t happened but tonight was tempting you. Not only have you been single for five months but sober too.

When you heard a rushed knock at the door it startled you, wondering who would be showing up your house so late. Every part of you wishing it was Eddie. Your disappointment was evident when it was Jason.

“What do you want?” You spit.

“You.” He cries, the blood has dried on his face.

“Jason you need to move on, we’re done. We are never ever getting back together.” You respond, trying your best at not laughing at your Taylor Swift reference. A song you had been blasting since the official breakup as a reminder to not forget.

“I’m sorry.” He says, reaching out to you. You push his attempt away before slamming the door shut in his face. The sound of him stomping away is loud only for footsteps to come back towards your door shortly after. There’s another knock at your door, now your mad. You open the door again, angrier this time.

“Leave me the fuck-“ You yell only stopping when you realize it’s no longer Jason at your door, it’s Eddie.

“I’m sorry I thought you were Jason.” You laugh uncomfortably, avoiding eye contact with him.

“Yeah I would of been here sooner. He’s been crying on your porch for almost an hour.” He admits letting out a small laugh.

“You’ve been sitting out here for an hour?” You ask.

“Yeah maybe longer. I don’t know. I got your text earlier and I wanted to do this in person. He really put a damper on my plan.” He explains.

“Do what-?” You ask only to be cut off by his lips being so delicately placed on yours, his hands cupping your face softly. Like your so fragile, he’s afraid to break you. His lips move with yours as you melt into the kiss. Eventually he’s the one to pull away to catch his breath. You’re speechless, can’t begin to form words to express how you feel just the cheesiest grin on your face.

“I hope that way okay. This past five months made me realize I should have done that sooner. I can’t imagine going on any longer without you by my side. For once I was the one you were drunk texting-“ This time your the one to interrupt him.

“I wasn’t drunk. I haven’t drank in months.”

“Oh even better.” He smiles causing you to smile up at him.

“Is it okay if we do that again?” You ask shyly. Eddie nods, kissing you again only this time a lite rougher. More confident in the fact that he’s not gonna break you.

This time your the one to pull away, “I’d invite you in but if I’m being honest I miss our sleep overs at yours.”

“Grab whatever you need and let’s have a sleepover.” He laughs, letting you go. You nod before leaving Eddie outside grabbing a few belongings. When you get back outside he’s waiting for you at his van, he looks so happy watching you walk towards him. You’re the one to close the space between you two, enveloping him in a hug breathing in his smell for the first time in months. You missed this, you missed him.

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