#Go fuck urself buddy fuck urself real hard

[alcohol-eyes]

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#Alex really be like “you’re my closest friend you’re my best friend I don’t have anyone else I can have deep talks with besides you no one #understands my mental health problems like you do:)” #me: hey I’ve been really anxious lately I somehow feel like I’m both dying and am already dead and basically completely frozen and can’t do #literally anything ever” #Alex: #me: #Alex: posts on his story that he’s at a bar and doesn’t respond for the rest of the day #Alex the following day: I’ve been having a bad mental health day #me: ummmmmm Chile anyways #Go fuck urself buddy fuck urself real hard

[phoebehalliwell]

Hi! I’ve recently fallen down the Charmed rabbit hole again and I fount your blog, which is amazing btw !! I LOVE YOUR CHARMED NEXT GEN FIC!!!! I also really enjoyed your thoughts about Phoebe's kid! I wish they would have lived in the actual show. How do you think Phoebe’s child living would have impacted her relationship with Coop? And the whole twice blessed prophecy?

!!!!!!!!!!! thank you!! and i’m so glad you like my fic (which i promise i am still working on)!!

as far as phoebe’s kid + the twice blessed prophecy, i have written on that au here, but i think if the baby really had been born it would not be the twice blessed but i do think they would still probably give that plotline to wyatt just bc. i also think that having a child and being a single mother would really further the need for coop bc dating as a single mom while still having a career is hard enough but dating while you’re a single mom with a full time job and a magical half demon baby who was lowkey the antichrist for the better part of the first trimester is a whole new can of worms. i think she still would have had a relationship with jason dean but i think it would be very short lived as i don’t think that he would be ready to commit to a family. and then by the time we hit season six and piper and leo have broken up and jason has left phoebe and yada yada yada phoebe would really be like huh. love isn’t real. we’re all gonna die alone.

and so she’s sitting at a cafe with paige at the end of love’s a witch and is completely ranting about how love is dead or whatever and paige is just like yeah. uh huh. yep. totally. yeah. yeah. i know what you mean. yeah. uh huh. bc it’s totally Not the time to bring up the fact that she has a date with richard on friday and phoebe’s just going on and on like “okay bc look at olivia! she was doing what she was doing out of love!! and she was killing people!!! just an evil, sad, lovesick, ghost. like me. you know cole was my longest relationship? that was like,,, the most successful relationship i had, and it wasn’t even remotely a success!! he turned me evil, paige. i became evil. because that’s what love does. it bring out the worst in people.” and paige is sitting there like jfc i think i need to bring in a shrink or something when all of a sudden the dude pulls up a chair at their table and is like “hi hate to interrupt but i couldn’t help but overhear and you’re wrong” and phoebe’s like who the hell are you and paige is like yeah fuck off buddy private conversation here and this guy’s like “look. love is the strongest magic we have” and paige is like “ehh i think other, stronger magic” and phoebe’s all like “okay, i don’t know who you are, but you don’t know me and you don’t know what i’ve been through okay so you don’t get to sit down here and try to talk to me about love. bitch.” and this guys just like “actually, i do. my name’s coop. it’s nice to meet you, officially.” and he holds out his hand for a handshake and phoebe’s looking at him like imma judo flip u motherfucker but then something catches her eye and she snatches his hand and flips it over, staring at his cupid ring and she’s like no. she grabs her coffee and storms out leaving coop and a Very Confused paige sitting at the cafe table. she turns around at the exit and gestures to paige like come on let’s go get out of here so paige grabs her croissant and purse awkwardly and leaves and coop’s like “i hope everything goes well with richard!” and paige is like????? so she pulls phoebe aside like Who Was That and phoebe’s like “that was the most annoying, pesky, interfering magical creature there is out there. that was a cupid.”

and later that night phoebe would be tucking her child asleep (who in this story is a little girl named prudence) when she hears “you love her, and it doesn’t seem to bring out the worst in you.” and she whips around to find coop leaning in the doorframe and she’s like “you better leave before i vanquish you” and coop sorta just laughs softly and he’s like “i get it. you’ve been burned before. but actively fighting love? it’s not you, phoebe.” and she’s like “tf do you think you know about me” and coop’s like “i know you believe in love. true love. the kind that takes your breath away, where it's the first thing that you think about when you wake up in the morning. you wanna know how i know that?” and phoebe just glares at him in a very defensive stance like yes i want to know but no i will not play into your stupid little monologue and coop’s like “i read your column. not many people could write like that. you help people find love every day, you help them reach out, take risks, open up their hearts-” “okay you know what i’ve had enough of your little sugar coated soap opera speech. go bug someone else.” and phoebe pushes her way past him and beelines for her bedroom, slamming the door and coop’s like :|

and the next morning phoebe’s eating cereal and by eating a i do mean just pushing wheaties around in a pool of milk while dency and wyatt play in the playpen and piper comes in with a mug of coffee like “good morning how are-” “am i a cold hearted cynic?” “...you doing this fine friday morning??” “i’ve got a cupid on my ass” “i’m going to hope you mean the magical kind and not some bad tattoo situation” “i mean, yesterday i was saying that love brings out the worst in people and now i’ve got this 6′2″ cupid with a square jawline following me around. but like,,, don’t i have the right to say that??? all love has done is hurt me. i’m allowed to bitch a little about it!! like! mind your own business??? goddamn! and you know-” “phoebe i just woke up save the onslaught until after 10am please” and phoebe just sorta pauses and goes back to pushing her cereal around and piper says “and i’m not calling you a cold hearted cynic but... you have changed” and phoebe’s completely ready to rant again like “pfft of course i’ve changed you think you can be married to the source of all-” “zp! not til after 10!” and phoebe slumps back and watches as dency draws a small pattern in frost on the tile floor and you can tell she’s sorta mulling over what coop said blah blah blah this episode is the vortex demon she gets knocked into a world based on her innermost desires and in it she’s happily married and in love in an apartment of her own raising her daughter and writing her column blah blah blah she takes one look at her finger that very much has a wedding band on it and is like “cupid!!!! cupid u fuckin bastard get down here!!! cupid!!!” and no response and she’s scowling like “coop??? coop!!!!!!!!” and he’s no where to be seen and she’s like wait shit i think this is the alternate whirlpool vortex things i gotta find my sister blah blah blah chris knocks paige into phoebe’s world and paige is like “okay what’s the catch” and phoebe’s like “what catch” and paige is like “you know, the catch! what makes this not reality. like in my world, magic was practiced openly, and everyone knew about it. come on, chris said the realities were shaped my like our fantasies or wants... is anything different here??” and phoebe’s like “oh you know uhh not really everything basically the same um but you know i have my own apartment here where i live with dency...” “oh my god wait where is she now who’s taking care of her?” “oh uh well that would be my husband.” “cole’s alive????” “no! not cole! i don’t know who he is actually but he seems nice :)” and there’s a beat where you can tell paige really wants to Get Into What This Means and phoebe really Doesn’t Want To Talk About It but then they both seem to agree that they’re being hunted by a demon so maybe this can take a back seat rn blah blah blah they kill the demon and the end of the episode paige is about to go on her date w richard and her and phoebe have a little heart to heart and paige is like i think you should talk to the cupid bc i think maybe your whole hating love thing might just be a front like i think you’re trying to convince urself of something blah blah blah and phoebe’s just like :/ maybe so.

alright blah blah blah next episode phoebe’s like “coop?” and coop, suddenly appearing behind her is like “yeah?” and phoebe’s like “i give up. so uh work your little cupid magic or whatever and i guess let’s do this thing.” and coop like lights up he’s like so happy and he’s all like “great! let’s get started!” and phoebe’s mentally preparing for a series of really boring dates but then coop surprises her by not doing that??? like he doesn’t set her up with anyone at all bc he’s all like you need time to heal and find urself again???? which honestly phoebe isn’t complaining about and like phoebe will be feeding baby dency in the kitchen and coop will pop in like “what are your thought on taking a pottery class?” and it’s happened before where she’s been so swamped with work that she doesn’t have time to pick up supplies for dency so coop will just go out and like buy diapers?? and gradually phoebe feels herself opening up more and more and one night she’s at p3 and this guy come up to talk to her and she doesn’t just scowl him away and she finds herself having a great conversation and she see coop wink at her from across the bar.

and you know things go well with this guy yada yada yada but one night she goes out on a date and her sisters weren’t able to watch lil dency for her so coop was babysitting and she comes back home to see coop sending out small pink glowing projections from his ring and her baby just laughing uncontrollably trying to catch them and phoebe gets why she has been ready to dive fully in to the guy she’s been going out with. coop says it’s just nerves bc of her past relationships and that it’s completely fine and understandable but phoebe knows better. or at least now she does. she’s in love with coop.

#i feel like this Completely went off on a totally different tangent than what was asked but uhh im postin it regardless #charmed #phoebe x coop #💌 #margaretsminiessays #phoebe halliwell #coop halliwell #dency halliwell

[0n3-h4lv3]

10:17pm 9/7/18

FUCK yall. Heres some things that *i* have 2 say. @ morgan : i love u so much !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! U literally deserve every good thing in this entire world. You are so loving and bubbly and positive that it is Infuriating to me that you have to face any hardship whatsoever. You dont deserve that, but you are strong enough to push through it and to make the most of any bad situation, and im SO excited for your future and the amazing things you will accomolish. Youve been my best bud for like ??????? 12 years almost ??????? How badass is that !!!!!!! U are the one bitch on this planet that i truly can tell everything. Nothing on this blog would suprise ir shock u, like a bitch knows whats up bc. God i rlly truly can 100 percent relax in ur company. SOMETIMES i still worry abt dumb shit but then i tell u anyway and it works out ok. Im mad greatful for that. Even with my other besties, i think id go mad without u and our friendship. I dont always send u the most responsive texts, but i DO think abt u every day and i LOVE u 2 bits and bits and bits. I wanna have sleepovers again. And tell bad stories abt marvel and folklore characters in the dark until we pass out laughing at eachother. I miss being kids. I dont think there was a point in my life so far where i have Truly been blissful or care free, i wasnt built that way, but memmories of u and me playing and creating and laughing together are truly the happiest i have. If not for you I would have killed myself three years ago in my bedroom after school, that day that i couldnt stop crying ? I went home and i tore at my shirt and i screamed and sobbed and slammed my head into the floor, lamenting how unlovable i was, but i really did have something that kept me from giving up, and it was you! I know thats heavy, which is why im putting it here and not actually telling you, but even though liv was my big fp at the time, you were rlly my reason to live. I just pray that i can do something meaningful for you, to repay you for being there for me before i die.

Finny! : BUD!!!! Ur actually. An angel but irl. Like sometimes i see you and stop breathing for a second. And im not even talking abt that ur like hot or whatever, its like. Gosh, finn you just have this presence ? And you are simultaniously so forgiving and understanding while taking Absolutely no shit and i respect that hard. Its like rlly hard to be uncomfortable in your presence. I still manage to sometimes, because god made me and was like "yeah this bitch will never see rest of any form", but like compared to the discomfort i feel around Most people, the discomfort i sometimes feel around you is WAY less and very warm asfjgja. I wish i got more hugs from you, i know thats like Mad stupid, but theyre. Validating and wonderful and they mean a lot and feel rlly good so more of those would be cool. I miss laying w u on the couch and watchin horror movies !! I know that was just like a month ago and its not like we cant do it again, but with how busy we are and how busy Everything is im very scared that we actually wont get to, or that u dont want to. Anyway im rambling, but u DO mean the world to me, and im so so sorry if im too much or overbearing. I dont know if you know how much you mean to me ? If youre on this blog you have an idea but i dont think these posts actually paint it accurately. For the past 10 or so years ive had a pattern of latching on to people, one at a time, and putting "all my eggs in one basket" so to say. It can be a best friend, or romantic interest, or both. But regardless ! This person directly and immediately impacts my emotional state. And rn its you !!! Which sucks a LOT. Bc even outside of my shitty "favorite person" thing, you are very important to me, and your friendship is so important to me. But i havent figured out how to negate or counter the whole fp experience, and so whenever u do anything... that i could interpret as disinterest or disgust or like anything negative, it has a 50/50 chance if sending me into a panic, sometimes a full fledged anxiety attack ! And whenever you show interest or affection or anything positive, it beyond makes my day. And thats. Like weird ? And it sucks even more for you, because if you realized how strongly just the tiniest thing can fuck me up, you wouldnt even want to talk 2 me. You would distance yourself to save urself from the stress and me from the whatever this is. But i know that my brain would just pick someone else as soon as you abandon me, so i have to just keep in my head and to myself until the fp thing moves on, or u abandon me anyway, or whatever. Bc i dont want to lose our friendship. And its ok !! But it makes our friendship more complicated on my end. I unintentionally put so much stock into how u percieve me, and so you not wanting to date me for suoer valid reasons still tears at my heart a lot. Like somethings wrong with me or you dont rlly love me or whatever even tho thats not necissarily the case. Anyway. Ill be ok. I rlly will, this is something i just need to man up about and push through ! Thank u for being such a cool friend :).

MADI !!!: UGH bitch. I do love u. Im sorry im late every time u pick me up in the morning and that i complain so goddamn much. I know its unbecoming but in my defense im feeling pretty rock bottom these days and u r like a cute little ray of sunshine that drinjs too much coffee. You are so. Beautiful okay ? That sounds like bullshit cuz im ur best friend and all. But this is honesty hour. See what i wrote to finn and mj ?? Im not fucking around. Im laying it all bare. This is the post yall will find AFTER i kill myself, so im not gonna LIE to u in it. Could u imagine ??? Anyway point is: you are so beautiful, and you are complex and interesting and Capable okay ? Like ur not a background character or basic or none of that. U feel like u are, and u say ur not pretty or whatever, and its like. The dumbest shit bc if u could only see what Every One Else was getting to look at ? U wouldnt recognize urself. Also. U have an INSANELY kind heart. I cant believe u were ok with me fucking your boyfriend. I cant believe you put up with my drama. You buy me coffee ? You go out 2 lunch with me ?? You seem to take genuine interest in me, and like my company !! Its bananas girl. I dont know how i can be so vile and low and selfish and you still stay by me. I dont believe i deserve it, but ur kinda adimant abt remaining my best friend, so hopefully ill have time to become a better person for you, and 2 return the favor. I love u mads. Like, big time. Ur a rock and roll girl and id do anythin 4 ya <3

Myla !! : buddy. Oh my god. A lot of people r likr "ohh im chaotic good" or "wow shes got such chaotic energy" and its MAD bullshit. But real talk ??? U like... do have such powerful chaotic good energy. Ilysm. Ur smile is Contagious. Actually just seeing u at school makes me smile. Ur company and friendship is such a blessing. ALSO lmao ur so ??? Like coy ?? And cheeky ???? Its mad fun, ur just like a very silly very lovely bud. I know you are Also very depressed and hurting. And i hate that so much. You dont deserve it. Nothing about you has earned it, but like depression doesnt care who earns what ya know ? Anyway ur strong. Likr 4 real, and i want u to know that you can SO overcome it, and u have such a bright future okay ?? I love you ! I KNOW finny loves you! I dont know ur parents that well but they'd be BATSHIT to not totally love you. Having you in my life is like a blessing, and i rlly rlly rlly hope i can repay the good energy some day okay ? I know u dont like talking abt how ur feeling, but if u ever want to, or u think of ANYTHING i can do to help, tell me asap okay ? Bc i will not hesitate to be there 4 u, no matter how big or small.

OKAY @ all of you !!! :

I LOVE YOU MORE THAN WORDS CAN SAY !!! IM *SO* GREATFUL YOU ARE ALL IN MY LIFE !!! Literally i cant. Express how important you all are. Im crying and i would Literally die for any one of you. That sounds like a silly thing but it would be. An honor to actually lay down my life for the sake of any of u guys, tho im not sure how the situation would arise lol. I feel like i owe y'all so much. I also know that if i am going to get better, i cant do it alone, and i might end up asking more from u guys :(. I hate that, but im hoping you can understand and allow me to return the favor somehow someday.

[sadspottedpanda]

Swipe Right for Awkwardness (FFXV FANFIC) - ch 2

Noctis was in a tough wrestling match. At least, his tongue was. The guy was now on top of him, his hands pinned above him on the headboard. Despite being in complete darkness, he was glad the guy felt like the picture that was sent to him earlier that night. A rather slim, but muscular body, well-defined hips, and a firm bubble butt. Their tongues continued to wrestle unti the guy decided to attack Noctis' neck with his skilled mouth. Normally, Noctis would be concerned about any marks left behind, but he was too horny to complain. He felt an arm wrap around his back as a hand began stroking his throbbing cock. Noctis reach out for his partner's own dick, stroking what felt like 8 inches of hard meat. It seemed to have a nice girth to it and a narrow pointed head. He can hear the guy sigh and moan slightly. Damn, he seemed to have a hot voice too. The hot sensation of a busy tongue and lips left Noctis' neck and slowly made its way down to his chest before a new wave of pleasure caused by sucking ang gentle biting came over him. Noctis had really sensitive nipples and he moaned loudly, earning a grunt of approval from the guy. The guys seemed to like hearing Noct moan, so he kept himself busy with Noctis' nipples for a couple of minutes before going lower and lower down Noctis' abs. He stops just short of Noctis needy cock before going back up to the raven-haired boy's lips and pushing himself down, letting his own hard dick rub up against Noctis' as he thrusted slowly. Noctis grunted and sighed, enjoying their skin rubbing against each other. Feeling like he needed to take care of his partner too, he rolls the guy on his back and starts to assault him with his tongue and hands with a new fervor. Unlike the guy's slow, teasing approach, Noctis is relentless, and before long, pleasured moans and groans fill the room. He lifts the guy's arm and licks and kisses his armpit furiously. The loud moans turn into outright exclamations of incredible lust. Satisfied that he got the reaction he wanted, Noctis moves down and starts kissing the guy's inner thighs and giving his balls a quick suck as he moves from one thigh to another. More moaning ensues, and Noctis takes his sweet time before licking up the guy's long shaft and ending with tongue flick at his eager member's head. Like the hungry cocksucker he really is, Noctis eases the stiff meat into his mouth and starts working on it with his tongue. With every bob of his head, it disappears down his throat until he could feel the guy's pubes tickling his nose. He eases it out, only to swallow it whole again. Once he's done, it's dripping with Noctis' saliva. The guy is breathing heavily, seemingly lost in pleasure until, Noct straddles him and eases himself onto his cock. The guys moves up and reaches out to embrace Noctis and wraps Noctis' legs around him. He busies himself with Noctis' nipples and does his best to thrust despite the close quarters. Noctis' then feels the guy's hands go to his ass as he swings them both to the edge of the bed and stands, bouncing Noctis on his raging boner. They manage to find a table and the guy sets Noctis on it. He starts thrusting hard and deep into Noctis' insides, causing a steady stream of moans. He leans in to Noctis' ear and whispers hoarsely, "Do me, sexy." Noctis pushes the guy gently away with his foot and helps him onto the floor. He lifts the guy's hips up until his legs are up over his shoulders before moving down to eat out the tight, twitching hole. The guy moans, his hands clutching the carpet, as Noctis' tongue digs into his ass. The guy squirms and moans, surrendering himself to the pleasure as Noctis violates him. Afterwards, he gets on his knees and takes Noctis's cock in his mouth. An experienced cocksucker himself, he has no problem taking in Noctis' very thick, six-inch member until its wet with spit. Noctis positions himself in front and eases in. He know his cock isn't as long as the guys, but it's definitely thicker by a wide margin. Last thing he wants is the guy to scream out in pain, so he takes it slow, stopping every now and then to listen. The guy is basically panting at this point and Noctis slides the last inch in. He starts thrusting slowly and is satisfied as the guy begins to moan louder and louder with each push. Noctis decides to do it harder, causing the guy to borderline scream with lust. He grabs the guy's ankle and starts licking the sole of his foot before sliding his tongue in between the toes. The guy half-laughs and half-moans as Noctis takes his big toe in his mouth and starts sucking. Taking the hint that Noctis has a foot fetish, the guy moves his other foot down to Noctis' chest, rubbing his nipple with his toes. Noctis then leans down flat on the guy and kisses him passionately, the burning sensation in his stomach spreading. He's shaking and begins to pull out, only for the guy to hurriedly grab his ass and push his hips back down. He starts thrusting again with more force, driven by the guy seemingly wanting him to unload inside. "F...FUCK! AGHHHH!" "HAAAAAAAAAHHH!" Both Noctis and the guy scream as they reach and break their limits. Noctis unloads his balls with his cock surrounded by the warmth of the guy's insides while his partner sprays thick, long jets of warm cum on both their bodies. The guy seems spent, but Noctis wasn't quite through yet. He slides out and bends down to lap up every drop of cum on the guy's body, taking as much as he could in his mouth before engaging in a messy cum kiss with the guy. After the kiss, Noctis collapses on top of the guy, feeling his heaving chest rise and fall in rhythm with his partner's. He hadn't had sex this intense and he was glad the guy just went with all the kinky shit he's done to him. They lie there together on the floor for a good ten minutes before Noctis gets up, legs still shaking from the release of all the sexual longing and tension that's been building up for weeks. He pull his partner up, wipes him down with a towel, and gives him another kiss, a more romantic one this time. He sincerely hopes they'd meet up again. The guy gets dressed and takes his leave and Noctis heads for home after a hot shower. He opens the door to the apartment and sees Prompto's shoes messily thrown to the side. Upstairs, he could hear the sound of the shower running and Prompto singing his favorite chocobo song. He plops down on the couch and turns on the TV. Moments later, Prompto emerges from the bathroom. "Yo Noct! Be down in a bit!" "Yeah!" Deciding to follow up with his new favorite sex friend, Noctis opens his dating app and shoots him a quick message. "Hey. U were awesome." He gets a reply right away. "Tell that to urself. U got a real naughty mouth licking me all over like that. Lol." "Lol. Sorry. Bad habit." "First time. Would do it again with u." Noctis grins and licks his lips, remembering the taste of the guy's body, and replies. "Cool. Was hoping ud say that. Haha." "Hmu again, yeah?" "Sure. Wouldn't think twice abt it sexy. How, got a name btw?" "Just call me Pal. U?" "Master. Lol jk. Nitro would be good." "U kinky af. I like it. Haha. Anyway, nyt. Just chat me up if u wanna do it again." "Will do." Noctis settles back into the couch with a smile on his face. Just chatting with the guy's already made him semi-hard again, so he focuses hard on the TV program. Moments later, Prompto emerges from his and head downstairs. "Yo!" "Hey bro. How'd the date go?" "Eh. It went ok." "Ok?" Noctis notices that Prompto has a spring in his step and a really satisfied look on his face. "C'mon, spill. That's not the face of a guy who's just been to an 'ok' date." Prompto sits beside Noctis and starts gushing. "Fine. It was AWESOME. We had a lot of fun. It was like a dream come true! I never though I'd score like that! I though it was gonna end badly, but it went way too well." "Did you use a condom?" Noctis says calmly. "DUDE! It didn't end like that! Sheesh, why are you always so horny?" "I'm not..." Noctis reaches up and pulls Prompto down beside him in a tight embrace. "...but I just might be now." "ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?!" Prompto struggles to break free, but Noctis isn't having any of it. "Oh gods, Noct. JERK IT OFF, BUT DON'T BRING ME INTO IT!" Noctis laughs and releases Prompto. "Chill, Prom. I'm just kidding." "You scare me sometimes, y'know." Prompto sighs and settles back beside Noctis on the sofa. He pulls Noctis' arm over him and leans into Noctis. "Anyway, now that I know I'm not getting raped tonight, how'd your night go?" "Just went for a walk around town. Needed to clear my head about some shit." "Was it because of our cup noodle date?" Prompto whines cutely. "Hell no. Just some stuff Ignis and dad's been bugging me about." Noct finds it frightening how easy he could lie to his best friend, but he wasn't about to tell him about tonight's events...or any other night he's headed out to pound or get pounded. "You can just talk to me if you want to get something off your chest, y'know." "Yeah...I better start doing that more often, huh?" "Not like anyone else is gonna hear what you wanna say." "But how do I say I have feelings for you, Prompto?" Noctis thinks to himself. "How can I tell you that I love being close to you like this. How can I tell you that you make me feel like I'm not a total failure sometimes?" They both go silent as they watch a movie about a prince going on a roadtrip with his buddies. Before long, Prompto is curled up against Noctis, snoring quietly. Noctis looks down at his friend and strokes the soft, blond hair gently. He carries Prompto up to his room, tucks him in, and gives him a quick, wishful kiss on the cheek. If only he had the courage to tell Prompto, he wouldn't be hooking up with random strangers to try to fill that one remaining void in his heart. Perhaps one day, he'd find the courage to do that, but right now, he'd rather not risk losing his closest friend.

#ffxv #fanfic #prompto argentum #noctis lucis caelum #promptis #noctis x prompto