#HE ABUSED STEPHS TRUST ON THE MATTER TOO

[too-much-tma-stuff]

Finally getting help (pt 2)

This one actually is edited thanks to @basementqueercock! Thank you friend!

part 1 | Masterpost

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Vlad had been making a stink at the Gala about the Wayne brats taking his godson from him without his permission when the music suddenly cut out. Bruce Wayne himself stalked towards Vlad with an expression that was honestly a little intimidating, even if Vlad obviously wasn’t scared of such an empty headed pretty boy even if he was one of the richest and most influential people on the planet. He was Plasmius! He could take a rich pretty boy is he had to!

“Ah! Mr. Wayne, thank goodness! Your children have taken my Godson off somewhere! I’m sure it’s just a harmless prank but he’s a bit fragile and unpredictable so I really think that it would be best if-“

“Is he fragile and unpredictable because he’s pregnant and you knew?” Bruce asked low and dangerous. Silence spread out around them, even though there’s no way they could have heard they saw the look on Brucie’s face. He rarely got angry but when he did it was serious, when he did it usually meant someone had hurt a kid.

Vlad blanched for a moment, Danny had been so tight lipped about it, so unwilling to tell even those he trusted how did These people know?! “What? What on earth are you talking about? Of course he’s not pregnant, I mean he’s a boy!” Vlad huffed and Bruce’s jaw tightened even more somehow.

“He’s not leaving with you. Get out.” He said low and menacing, then raised his voice. “Sorry to cut the party short everyone but something has come up, a situation that really needs my attention so I’m going to have to put an end to the party early.”

“What do you mean!? He’s MY God son! MY heir! You can’t just keep him from me!” Vlad said, he knew that his eyes were starting to glow a little red but he couldn’t help it. “He’s MINE! Return him to me or you will regret it I swear!”

“See him out.” Bruce said dismissively to a handful of guards who had approached at the start of the commotion A lot of the socialites were already starting to see themselves out, now was not the time to argue, or even stick around when it looked like this might get physical.

“I will be back! I will be back with lawyers and police and the brat’s parents,” Vlad vowed but couldn’t risk fighting the guards any more than a usual old man would on the way out with so many eyes on him. Well he just needed to find a place alone. Then he could transform and come back, possess Bruce Wayne and make him do something heinous in public to ruin him for this.. this- this INDIGNITY!

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Bruce was having a hard time keeping his Batman expressions off his face as he saw that everyone was out of his house and he knew his children were having the same trouble. Dick looked like he was ready to bash someone’s head in and Steph wasn’t that much better. Damian was standing by the door, seeing everyone out with frosty politeness that no one would mistake as genuine. Bruce felt just a little bad, it wasn’t anyone’s fault what they had found tonight. No one else knew about the clearly abused teen they were currently harbouring, but none of the family could help it either. Bruce would send all the guests gift baskets once they could announce what was going on.

Alfred was on the phone with Bruce’s lawyers, sending them the mildly distorted audio from Danny’s earlier conversation with Cas and Dick, and the footage from Vlad Master’s outburst. That had the same sort of distortion over it too which was odd, he’d have to look into it. Cas had already informed him she thought Danny was a meta of some sort, maybe it was connected to that? Or maybe they were aliens? Though Danny being trans was currently the most plausible explanation for his pregnancy. They’d find out more later. What mattered was the footage of both of those would be enough for Bruce to get emergency custody while the family was investigated. 

Tim was with Danny in the room Alfred had fixed for him, helping him settle in and lending him some clothes. Tim was the closest to Danny’s age and also one of the calmer ones right now so he was in charge of trying to make Danny feel safe and comfortable while the family took up battle stations to deal with the legal and logistical elements of this.

Bruce made sure everyone was out, the perimeter was secure, and Oracle was at her computer watching the security feed for anything suspicious including the pattern of distortion Vlad and Danny seemed to emit. He wasn’t sure how paranoid he should be about all this, but he’d seen the way Vlad’s eyes sparked red when he was angry and Batman was sure he was a lot more dangerous then he first seemed. And not just in the way that he was apparently willing to impregnate a boy young enough to be his son.

Finally he couldn’t avoid going to check on Danny anymore. Not that he was Really avoiding it, just that he knew this was going to be an exhausting and difficult conversation and he needed to brace himself for it. With every step towards Danny’s new room he felt the weight gather on his shoulders of what this child must have been through.

He knocked, and let himself in. Immediately clocking the way Danny tensed at the sight of him. Of course a rich older man would set off his alarm bells. Bruce gave the softest smile he could and went to pull out the desk chair across from the bed Danny was sitting on, well out of arms reach so he wouldn’t seem like a threat as he sat down. He glanced at Tim who nodded and went and sat on the bed next to Danny. Solidarity, willing to stand up against Bruce if Danny needed it, safety.

“Hello Danny, it’s nice to meet you. My children told me a bit about.. your situation,” Bruce said with a small grimace. “Would you mind if I ask you some questions? I promise I won’t judge you whatever you say, and I promise I am on your side. No matter what I will try to keep you safe okay? Just tell me the truth, it’ll help me do what needs to be done.”

“Alright Mr. Wayne,” Danny said, though he was still wary.

“Thank you, please call me Bruce. So first, what’s your full name?” he asked deciding to start super easy.

“Daniel James Fenton,” Danny replied softly.

“Your parents names?”

“Doctors Madeline and Jack Fenton,” Huh the fact that he called his parents doctor like it was part of their name seemed to be significant though Bruce wasn’t sure exactly what it meant.

“How old are you?”

“I’m 16,” He said. A little older than he looked but still no where near old enough to have the weight of the world on his shoulders like he did.

“And you’re pregnant?” Bruce asked as gently as he could, Danny nodded. “And you’re sure?”

“Yes,” Danny said softly and Bruce nodded, licking his lips a little.

“Did you take a test then?” He asked and Danny grimaced making a so so motion.

“It’s not… that simple,” He said softly.

“Can you explain it to me please?” Bruce asked softly.

Danny took a deep breath and licked his lips, hesitating, opening his mouth to stat, hesitating again and biting his lip. Bruce stayed quiet as he watched the conflict on Danny’s face. “You work with the justice league right?” Danny asked suddenly which seemed like a bit of a non sequitur to Bruce but he needed. “A bunch of the members aren’t human right?” Ah, Bruce nodded again. “And you’re okay with that?”

“Of course I am Danny,” Bruce promised, soft and reassuring. “People don’t have to be human or from earth to be people. Whatever is going on with you you’re still a person, and a kid, and deserve to be protected.”

“Okay,” Danny said as he scrutinized Bruce’s body language for any sign that he was lying. “Okay. I’ve never been able to trust any adults with this shit but I can’t keep doing this on my own so okay. I’m not human, not fully anyway, not anymore. These are..” He touched his stomach. “Like if you did an ultrasound you wouldn’t see embryos more like… Hang on Here.”

Bruce blinked as Danny suddenly, reached Inside himself, and before he could panic Danny had pulled out a perfectly round object that filled his palm. It shimmered with light from within, cold and sparkling with stars. “Our kind is more energy and light then anything else. This is Us, the mind, heart, everything we are is stored in our core the rest is formed around that. I mean for most of my kind, I’m still half human.” Danny said before replacing the orb inside him. “I have two other little cores inside me right now, feeding on my energy to develop properly, you could see them on an Xray. I don’t know how long they’ll take honestly.” He sighed caressing his stomach again.

 “But I can feel them inside me, I can feel their worry when I’m scared, and their joy when I’m happy, and their love. They’re my babies.” He said with the softest most paternal smile on his lips. The bags under his eyes were awful, he was clearly exhausted and stressed, but his expression told Bruce Danny thought it was all going to be worth it for his children. It brought a lump to his throat he had to clear before he could speak again.

“Okay, do you have access to healthcare appropriate for your.. species?” He asked and Danny nodded. Though he was tight lipped still.

“There are protections for non-human species in America you know,” Tim said.

Bruce and Tim exchanged a confused look as Danny barked a laugh. “Not for MY kind, we were specifically excluded,” He said with a wry curl to his lips. “The shadow or echo left behind when a proper human dies, not sentient or sapient they say. Malicious and dangerous they say. To be captured or exterminated on sight. They would take me, experiment on me, probably put my babies in jars or something.”

Oh, oh fuck, he was shaking, eyes blank and glassy like he was heading towards a panic attack. “Danny! Danny look at me,” Bruce said as he leaned forward and Danny’s gaze flicked up to his face. “I don’t know who ‘they’ are but I promise I will do everything in my power to make sure they don’t get you. You’re clearly not what they say, and anyone who would hurt a child is not the good guy in this story.”

“Who are they?” Tim asked with an expression that promised swift and vicious retribution.

Danny took another deep breath. “The GIW, the Ghost Investigation Ward. They’re a government agency, they’ve been hunting in my hometown for a while. Early on we tried to call the Justice Legue, but I think they were jamming the lines or something,” Danny said looking down and biting his lip.

Fuck this poor kid really couldn’t catch a break! Bruce was sure that the ‘ghosts’ these idiots were hunting weren’t really anything of the sort, but he would look into this and see what he could find. Tim was clearly itching to as well bad he wasn’t willing to leave Danny alone with Bruce, good lad.

“And what about your parents? Do you think you could be safely returned to their home?” Bruce asked, as much as he wanted to keep Danny reunification was supposed to be the goal of fostering.

“No!” Danny nearly yelped sitting up straight. “No! They work for the GIW! They design most of their weapons. If they ever found I’d been contaminated- I don’t want to think the worst of them but even if they still recognized me as their son the babies-“ He cut off, wrapping both his arms around his stomach and curling in on himself.

“Okay, we’ll call child protective services, my lawyer, and the Justice League. We’ll get to the bottom of this,” Bruce promised Danny. “And you can stay here as long as you need to. Is there any other family you would want to go to?” Bruce asked, just to be sure, but he wasn’t surprised when Danny shook his head and grabbed a pillow to hug.

“And I know Oracle and Red Robin will be itching to find out more about this ‘government agency’,” Tim said. “I want to go tell them Danny, if Bruce and I go will you be okay on your own or do you want me to ask Cas to come stay with you?”

“Cas please? If she’s not busy?” Danny asked uncertainly and Tim nodded. Bruce was getting up before Danny spoke up again. “I have a sister, Jazz. She knows about me not being fully human, but not about the babies. She’s a good person, and she’s almost an adult. I don’t know, I just need you to know she’s good, and I don’t want to mess things up for her,” Danny said worriedly.

“Of course Danny, thanks for letting me know,” Bruce said with a smile already making plans to get her out as well. “We’ll let you know as soon as there are developments.” He promised before both he and Tim ducked out. They split up, Tim going to find Cas and ask her to go back to Danny before they reconvened in the bat cave, they had a lot of research to do.

next>

#fanfiction #danny phantom #dc x dp #bruce wayne #cassandra cain #vlad plasmius #dick grayson #tim drake #barbra gordon #Danny is pregnant AU #Vlad is a creep #danny is a mother

[out-of-context-batfam]

Robin (1993) #87

#BRUCE WOULD RATHER SACRIFICE TIMS IDENTITY THAN FACE ALFRED AFTER A FALLING OUT #BRUCE WAS A REAL ASSHOLE TO TIM AND STEPH #HE ABUSED STEPHS TRUST ON THE MATTER TOO #HE DIDNT EVEN APOLOGIZE OR ADMIT HE MADE A MISTAKE #dc comics #batfam #batfamily #out of context #robin #tim drake #boy detective wonder #batman #bruce wayne #batdad #spoiler #stephanie brown #eggplant warrior #alfred pennyworth #secret identity #betrayal #asshole move #no apology #gave it away #loyalty #dammit bruce #you asshole #i hate this so much #600

[ectonurites]

hey! how knowledgeable are you on stephanie brown? because i got in a bit of an argument with a dc fan on reddit who claims she's all these awful things, but im still relatively new to steph and i want to see what was true and what wasn't. link to screenie right here: https://ibb.co/vh6CYCJ

these may be matters of opinion, but even then, i'd like to know your take. i haven't read her firsthand often enough and i trust your judgement over this random redditor who seems to have some sort of blonde-woman related trauma left untapped.

I'm not necessarily the most knowledgable on her in the world, but I do know a decent amount because she's one of my absolute faves and I love her

But ohhhh boy that screenshot is a lot.

I will say that several of the things this person brings up are based in canon but are taken in the worst faith and framed in the way that makes her look as bad as possible, if that makes sense? It’s ripping things away from any context, because there's a very clear bias against her here.

I'll go through it point by point under the cut

First of all though before digging into this, I want to make it clear she was a 15 year old for the majority of the things this person is talking about. Like just pause for a second and remember she’s a 15 year old victim of abuse. That is something that I think factors into a lot of her behavior! Anyways, I kinda while doing this got into a ranty 'talking at you' format in response to the person who wrote all that, so don't take any of this as me yelling at you who asked the question/you anyone reading this.

"She always acted entitled" - Saying Steph is entitled is absolutely ridiculous to me. Stephanie grew up with a very unstable childhood due to her dad frequently being in prison and her mom dealing with a drug addiction, living in a lower class part of the city. Tim is entitled. I don’t mean that as like a bad thing about him, but he is based on his living situation, she is not. She has wanted life to be better for herself and her mom, and is determined about that, but she is not and does not act entitled.

(Secret Origins 80 Page Giant)

"and stubborn" - I will give you stubborn though, that one is true. She’s stubborn as hell! I don’t really see that as a bad thing though, pretty much every bat is stubborn?

"demanding that Batman and Robin accept her untrained ass" - Steph may have been untrained in fighting but she's shown to have exceptional gymnastics skills from the start, and at one point Bruce even says that with the right training she could be as good if not better than Tim (in Robin #88)! So like... her realizing she enjoys trying to be a hero after she tried it out to deal with her personal business, so she looks to the local experts… and is determined about it… how is that a bad thing? It’s also not like she walked up to them and said ‘im perfect as i am let me in’ what she wanted was a chance to be a hero. But she also wasn't even really looking for approval, either, not having Batman's blessing was never going to stop her. ("So excuse me if I don't jump when you bark, Batman." in Robin #16) Later when Bruce does bring her in to train (and she also gets to train with the BoP) she's excited! She’s stubborn about wanting to be in the hero business, but it’s not like she’s unwilling to work for it.

"advocating leaving criminals to die because they 'deserve it'" - She’s a 15 year old who grew up knowing firsthand how dangerous Gotham criminals can be because of her dad, of course off the bat when they’re in a dangerous situation where any of them could die (because that’s the context here, this is in Robin #35 where they’re trapped in some super dangerous snow) she thinks they shouldn’t go back for another criminal who just tried to kill them and should instead save themselves. But she also literally WITHIN THAT SAME ISSUE then says she realized she learned something after listening to Tim and trying to save the guy! In the same issue! Characters in a story aren’t supposed to be perfect from the start… they learn things along the way???

(Robin #35)

"trying to steal from the shops they just stopped from being burglarized" - She’s 15 and doesn’t have a ton of money. She was gonna take two sodas, and when Tim said not to do it she paid with very little fuss. They stopped people who were robbing the place at gunpoint for prescription drugs. If you can’t understand the difference in severity between those things like… I do not even know where to start. (this situation is in Robin #56 btw)

"forcing physical affection onto Tim despite his visible discomfort and repeated objections (not even stopping when he told her he had a girlfriend)" - This one I will give you because she did cross boundaries with all that! But I do also want to clarify that she didn't start coming onto him until after Tim kissed her first (in Robin #5) while not telling her he had a girlfriend. That doesn’t excuse her later actions but for the first issue that she’s coming onto him from her perspective he expressed interest and she was just returning it! She even specifically says 'Maybe I should pay you back for saving my life the same way you paid me' (in Robin #16) before kissing him. That first time she kissed him unprompted was under essentially the same circumstances he kissed her unprompted, and she literally did not know about Ariana until after the fact. From that point once she knew about Ari she definitely should have backed off and she didn’t, that’s a very fair thing to criticize about her as a character. But Tim lead her on first, and I feel a lot of people like to casually forget that when talking about this situation. The way this is phrased of ‘not even stopping when he told her-‘ implies she was repeatedly doing the bad behavior before he told her, which is not the case. She still did bad things here but don’t misrepresent the situation.

"And lashing out at Tim, her mother, and her classmates in violent fits of anger" - Every comic book character lashes out at other people for the sake of drama like, I dare you to come up with a well-known superhero character who hasn’t done shit like that to a partner/family/friends in a moment of high tension/stress?

"She treated the girls around her like they were stupid bitches" - frankly this ones a little too vague like, I'm not sure off the top of my head exactly what they're talking about? in that era right around her pregnancy and stuff I really don't recall her being mean with other girls? I could be forgetting something I guess but the closest I can think of is a bit after this period of time when she has the confrontation with Greta in Young Justice but that was Greta attacking her first, not the other way around.

"got insanely jealous if Tim so much as expressed concern about another girl" - Steph getting jealous and thinking Tim was cheating isn’t that crazy when STEPHANIE BASICALLY WAS THE OTHER GIRL DURING TIM’S LAST RELATIONSHIP? Tim has cheated a little bit before! Tim cheated on Ari with both Jubilee from Marvel (during a crossover thing where he even mentions Ari specifically so it’s not like this was out of continuity/a setting she wasn't an issue or something) and also with Steph. While most of the kissing between them was Steph coming onto Tim which I wouldn’t count as cheating on his end, he did still kiss her which I would count. Not to mention that the jealousy thing (I imagine they’re talking about the instance with Star, the girl who taught Tim to skateboard, this arc of stuff starts in Robin #80 and continues for a few issues) is happening during the time she’s dating him while she still doesn’t even know his real name. He literally has a whole other life she doesn’t know about, and is someone who has initiated romantic moments with other girls while in a relationship multiple times before! With that in mind I don’t think a 16 (she's def 16 by this point) year old girl being kinda paranoid about how he interacts with girls he might know in his civilian life is that unreasonable? The later big instance with jealousy is the Darla situation- where Steph sees Darla kiss him and gets mad about it (and doesn’t talk to him about it) and thats what prompts her to become Robin. The important thing to remember about Steph in this time frame is that DC decided she had to die and they wanted to make her Robin first to drum up more attention for that death. They were doing ooc things with her to set those pieces in motion, and that needs to be taken into account. I think her getting upset about seeing something like that isn’t even ooc, but her using it as motivation to become Robin and not even saying anything to him about it is. In the earlier instance where she’s upset/jealous about Star, she does communicate to him what’s going on at least a little bit on the rooftop after they’d saved her. She makes it clear the thing she was upset about is that she feels like she can’t trust him because she doesn’t really know him while he knows everything about her, and that’s why she thinks he’s cheating. Her reaction to the Darla thing is not in line with how earlier in canon Steph would have handled the same situation, because they wanted her to die and needed a way to explain her becoming Robin.

"and expressed that jealousy by accusing him of cheating and throwing things at him" - I just addressed the cheating stuff but the throwing things was fucking slapstick oh my god this is a comic book for kids/teens like. ah yes this is horrible abuse in this little funny montage of how Steph wants him to leave her alone because she’s mad at him and he refuses to give her space

(Robin #82)

I don’t think anyone at DC or even in fandom would/should try to argue she’s perfect, because she’s not! And I don’t want her to be because perfect characters are boring. Steph is flawed, Steph has been compared in canon to Robin-era Jason by Cass & Bruce

(Detective Comics #790)

And I think these highlight some of her very real flaws that are an interesting part of her character. These plus her stubbornness and determination are part of what makes her her.

And for fuck's sake the world was mean to her, and to act like it wasn’t is just blatantly ignoring a lot. A criminal father who made her life really difficult (‘when my dad was mad at me he’d lock me in the closet!’), that time she got kidnapped for two weeks and her mom had left her (a 15 year old) alone at home so long she didn't even find out it happened (in text Steph says Crystal was visiting friends, a lot of people interpret that as her mom possibly being in rehab for her addictions again), that whole thing about how one of her dad’s friends tried to sexually assault her as a child, also just how due to her dad's work sometimes criminals would be living in their house (Literally the fucking Riddler at one point!), the fact that we as an audience watched her get tortured for several days because a plan she tried to enact to prove herself backfired since Batman didn’t trust her with important information (something Selina even calls him out on in her internal narration), like… sorry but in what way is all that not the world being mean to her?

She was Robin, she dated Robin, she likes Eggplant (because purple would've looked stupid), and makes jokes. She’s also impulsive, headstrong and determined, and wants to prove to herself and others that she can be more than just the daughter of a shitty criminal, that she can actually be a force to do good in the world.

She’s a complex character, and nobody is required to like her, but to act like she doesn’t have a single redeeming trait is ridiculous. You could write a paragraph like that with the worst moments of basically any character and make them look like shit if that's what you were setting out to do.

[bat-losers-inc]

Song of Cassandra: Chapter 2

Warnings: Family Drama, Family Issues, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Emotional Baggage, and Child Neglect

Summary: What is Batman without a Robin? Everyone in the family makes jokes about the ‘dead robins club’, but Dick and Jason really do have measures set in place for the day Bruce loses sight of what’s really important. They won’t let Bruce sacrifice another Robin for the cause, even if that means separating Robin from Batman for good.

Pairings: Barbara Gordon/Dick Grayson, Stephanie Brown/Tim Drake, Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson & Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson & Damian Wayne, Stephanie Brown & Bruce Wayne, and Dick Grayson & Jason Todd

                            _____________________________________

Half a year later saw them performing a feat of brotherly bonding he’d never imagined possible: robbing Penguin together.

They’d left the Tricorner district behind in a streak of burnt rubber and a barrage of gunfire and ditched the getaway van in Chinatown at the first available 24-hour parking facility on the other side of the bridge. It was slower going on foot, but Chinatown’s busy night scene, combined with the heavy triad presence in this district, would make Penguin’s men hesitate before going in guns blazing. That was all the time they needed to slip away unseen.

Now, as they emerged from the darkness of the parking deck, Dick yanked the balaclava off his head. He grunted something unintelligible as he shouldered his way through the cluster of pedestrians that crowded the sidewalk.

“What?” asked Jason, pulling his own half-mask down from around his neck and jogging to catch up.

“I said, you’re a real bastard. You promised me this was would be easy!”

Jason glanced at him. He wanted to be sympathetic but he just couldn’t when Dick was glaring at him with that staticky mop of hair. He couldn’t keep the laughter out of his voice when he replied, “You’re the one who said we shouldn’t leave a paper trail! This is about as easy as stealing from Penguin’s bagman gets.”

In truth, he thought they were complaining just for the sake of complaining. After six months they both knew that pulling off this heist was less a matter of choice and more a matter of necessity. Failure meant returning to the storage locker Dick had procured outside of Port Adams and staring down their measly little bat-trust-fund: six safehouses, fifteen rolls of Kevlar fabric, a small arsenal, twenty-seven contacts typed into a Word document, and $5,025 split five ways. But what use would kevlar suits be if their siblings couldn’t afford to keep a roof over their heads? No, without the cash it was worth fuck-all.

Dick looked like he wanted to argue the point further but at that moment a convoy of police vehicles shot past them, sirens wailing and horns blaring loud enough to deafen a person. No doubt by now Penguin’s men had informed their boss about the botched exchange and pinned the blame on their nearest rivals, the Ghost Dragons. If that was the case, then Chinatown was a powder keg ready to explode into a minor gang war at any moment.

A flash of light reflected off the windows of a nearby apartment building. Jason stepped in between two parked cars to get a better look and found himself staring up at the cloud-heavy night sky illuminated in the glow of the bat signal.

He gripped the heavy duffel bag full of stolen cash closer to his chest like he expected Gotham’s dark knight to swoop down at any moment and tear it from his shoulder.

“Hey,” Dick tugged at his arm. “time to go.”

Batman was on the way and like the best of Gotham’s criminals, Jason and Dick made themselves scarce.

It took nearly forty minutes and three subway lines to make their way back to the self-storage facility. By then a pale glow had crept up from the horizon and spread across the water. Around them, the street lights began to shut off one after another. In the distance, Jason could just make out a tugboat as it pushed a barge out towards the open ocean.

By the time Dick pulled the storage locker door down behind them, they were tired-eyed and footsore.

Jason threw the duffel bag onto a table and propped himself against it as he fished one-handed under his t-shirt to undo the straps of his protective vest. He sighed in relief as the weight lifted off his shoulders. “How the hell did you stand wearing these things when you were on the force? Even with the undershirt, the chaffing is god-awful.”

“You get used to it,” Dick replied, making quick work of removing his own gear.

Jason doubted it but he was too tired to argue his point further. Instead, he found the six-pack that he’d stashed under the table earlier that day and snapped off a can.

“Heads up,” he called, as he pitched a can underhand to Dick who caught it against his chest.

Dick held it up for inspection. “Warm beer. What I’ve always wanted.”

“Oh shut up and celebrate with me, you asshole.”

He extended his arm across the table. Dick knocked beer cans with him and completely failed at hiding the shy grin tugging at the corners of his mouth, though god bless him he tried. “Cheers.”

Jason watched him crack open the top and chuckled as he hurriedly slurped at the foam that erupted over the rim. He knew that this morally gray lifestyle didn’t come easy to Dick but he couldn’t deny that he was happy he had stuck around with him for this long. He didn’t dare to say it out loud, but they actually made good partners.

He took a long drink from his own beer can before putting it aside. “Ok, come on. The faster we count this cash the sooner we can go to bed.”

Jason upturned the duffel bags, sending stacks of cash sliding out onto the metal tabletop while Dick pulled the banknote counter from the corner and lugged the machine up next to the pile. Together they started slipping the currency bands loose and feeding the stacks of cash into the machine, watching eagerly as the sum continued to tick upwards.

“Soo…” Jason drummed his thumbs on the table as the numbers continued to flash on the small screen, “How are things going with you and Babs?”

“What?” Dick’s eyebrows drew together. “Why?”

Jason shrugged. “I don’t know, I’m a little curious about what she thinks you do when you’re out late all the time… also, I’m bored.”

“You’re weird, is what you are.”

Jason rolled his eyes. “Seriously? We’ve only spent the past six months together moonlighting as vigilante survivalists and I can’t ask one time how your love life is going.”

“No, no. Sorry, you’re right.” Dick held up a hand. “I told her I’ve been helping you out with an undercover case for a couple of months now. Said I owed you a favor.”

Jason grinned at him. “Well, that’s not a lie. Quite a few actually, but who’s counting.”

Dick punched him in the shoulder. “Actually, I should call her. Reassure her you didn’t get me killed before she calls in a search party.”

Jason chuckled and went back to the task of feeding bills into the machine as Dick rummaged through the backpack and fished out his phone.

“Hey, uhh...”

Jason glanced up and took in Dick’s furrowed expression as he stared down at his phone. He put down the stack of cash he was holding. “What’s the matter?”

“Something happened while we were out. I — shit I don’t know how to explain it but I’ve got like 15 missed messages from Barbara and Alfred. Did you bring your phone with you?”

Jason grabbed his backpack where his own phone was stashed and opened it to find a similar mass of missed calls and incoherently excited messages cluttering the screen. Some of the numbers he recognized, Steph, Barbara, and Alfred were all saved in his phone, but a few were from unknown senders. If he had to venture some guesses he’d say Cass, Duke… maybe Harper? Fuck, he never realized this many bat brats had his number. “I don’t get it… something about Tim? What about hell?”

“I’m calling Babs.”

Jason was aware of how uncomfortably loud their breathing sounded in the small storage locker as they stood around the table waiting for Dick’s call to connect.

“Dick?” Barbara’s voice asked loudly through the speaker. “Thank God! Where have you been? I’ve been calling and calling you.”

“Sorry, undercover mission, remember? What’s the big emergency? I didn’t get anything from Bruce.”

“You need to get back to the manor. Bruce found Tim!”

That didn’t make any sense. “What? You mean Bruce found Tim’s remains?”

Jason smacked his arm. “His remains? Are you fucking serious? What remains could Bruce possibly find after a death like that?”

“I don’t know, bone fragments—”

Dick’s argument sounded flimsy the moment it left his mouth and they both knew it. Jason just really hated to be the one who had to say it.

“If the heat from that explosion didn’t finish him off entirely then the pounding impact of like a hundred thousand missiles definitely did in whatever remains might have been left.”

“Guys—” called Babs.

“Oh, so you’re a forensic scientist now? You don’t know that—“

“Yes, I do!” He slammed a hand down on the table, his anger flaring. He really couldn’t do this backslide back into denial with Dick again. “There’s a reason we buried an empty box. Tim is literally dust in the wind.”

“Jesus Christ!” Barbara’s voice erupted loudly through the speakerphone. “Kill it with the broody back and forth already and actually listen to me, would you? I’m not talking about bone fragments or anything like that. I’m saying Bruce found Tim. Tim! He’s alive.”

Jason met Dick’s eyes over the phone, confusion written as starkly across Dick’s face as it must have been on his own. “What? I— What?”

“I really don’t understand it all myself. But Tim said he’s been held captive by Mr. Oz in another dimension for this whole time. Can you believe it? All this time we thought he was dead and...”

Jason didn’t catch that last bit. He was too busy bent over the table as all the blood rushed to his head.

He was gonna hurl. “That doesn’t make any fucking sense.”

They’d all given up on the hope of Tim miraculously surviving a long time ago and this sudden news felt like he was experiencing emotional whiplash. This had to be some kind of sick joke or a trick... a doppelganger sent by the newest enemy on the rise against Batman.

Dick’s thoughts were apparently spiraling in the same direction as his own for he ran a hand roughly across his mouth and asked, “You saw him yourself? You’re sure it’s him, our Tim?”

But it wasn’t a big cosmic joke. As much as Jason couldn’t believe it, it wasn’t and that was made clear with every new piece of information Babs gave them.

“Yes, he was standing right in front of me only an hour ago — crying and hugging everyone.”

Dick turned to look at Jason, but he was already rounding the table and yanking Dick into a bruising hug.

“He’s alive,” Dick cried into the shoulder of his t-shirt. His voice overflowed with the most contagiously hysterical mixture of joy. Jason laughed through his own tears. “You bet your ass he is!”

He couldn’t explain what had come over him. He and Dick had never really been close — and they definitely weren’t huggers — but the last few months had been so full of this gnawing air of anxiety — their family continuing to fracture, the resources running dry — that the full realization was starting to hit them that this plan might have been formed too late to do any real good. They could feel the clock running out and they were both expecting the other shoe to drop any day now but then out of the blue… this.

Dick pushed away from him suddenly and wiped at his eyes.

“Uh…” he tried to clear his throat. “We, uh, we should get back to the cave and go see him for ourselves. Babs, he still there, right?”

“Yeah, Bruce is debriefing him.”

And just like that, Jason’s joy seized painfully in his chest. It hurt the way a seatbelt does in a car crash, knocking the air out of your lungs and bringing you up short. He watched Dick rush around him, grabbing up his belongings in a disorganized fashion.

“Dick, I can’t come with you.”

“What?” Dick asked, breathless. He turned back from the door. “Yes, you can. C’mon, get your stuff, the money can wait till tomorrow.”

Jason shook his head. Fuck, how the hell was he supposed to explain this to him without looking like the one asshole member of this family who didn’t want to visit his little brother recently brought back from the dead.

Dick paused, his hand dropping from the door handle. “What? Because of what happened between you and Bruce?”

I was a fool for ever believing in you. Even now Bruce’s words lingered at the back of his head. An invisible brand that still held its heat.

“Jason, I know what went down between you and Bruce was… heavy, to say the least, but you’re still family. You do know that, right? You’re still my family and if you want to see Tim, Bruce can do fuck-all to stop it. I’ll make sure of it.”

Jason could only huff a sad laugh at that because God did he want to believe that too, but he knew it wasn’t that simple. Tim would always be his family, but Bruce… he’d crossed a point of no return with Bruce on the night that the fortress was destroyed. The violence of his assault had done more than break a few bones— it had finally shattered that last shred of trust he’d stupidly harbored in him that when push came to shove Bruce would value the son over the soldier. I broke his rules for the last time and now he sees me as nothing more than an unredeemable criminal that escaped Batman’s justice. One of his little soldiers gone AWOL.

“Yeah, I know. It’s just… I can’t face him yet— I—” he trailed off. He’d been laying low since his return to Gotham, but even still Jason thought the only reason he’d survived this long was because Bruce was too consumed with Tim’s death to spend a spare thought on him. He wasn’t ready to walk into that cave tonight and find out what would happen now that Tim was back in the picture and Bruce’s anger focused back on him.

It felt like a horrible selfish thing to think about saving his own skin when his little brother had come back from the dead, but as his eyes lingered at the collection of items piled around the storage locker he was reminded that no one was going to do it for him. After all, that was how this plan had all started right? Someone had to be the one to craft the safety net for the next Robin to fall of Batman’s mighty pedestal.

“You should go. Tell Tim I’m glad he inherited my cockroach-like ability to not stay dead.”

“Jason…” Dick twisted the jacket he held in his hands.

“Go.” It came out sharper than he’d intended, despite his best efforts to push his emotions down. He was quick to try to smooth it over with a tight smile that he knew fooled neither of them. “I’ll stop by his apartment tomorrow once all the hype has died down. Besides, someone needs to finish up here.”

He nodded at the banknote counter.

The one thing he’d always valued about Dick, more than his caring nature, was that he knew when to stop pushing an issue.

“Alright,” Dick shifted his grip on his jacket again. His phone was chiming once more in the back pocket of his jeans. No doubt another family member asking where he was. “I’ll call you tomorrow to check in.”

“Sure.”

After the door to the storage locker fell shut, Jason let his gaze travel around the room again. So Tim was back, alive and well as far as any of them were concerned. A nagging part of Jason’s mind wondered worriedly if gaining him back would slowly undo all the plans they had made together. Would Dick continue to worry about the next crisis to befall their little family or would Tim’s return renew his neverending faith in the impossible until he eventually forgot what it was that drove him to his breaking point?

Jason picked up another stack of banknotes and slid it into the machine. As the numbers continued to rise once more he did his best to prepare himself for the idea that he would be alone in this mission once more. Another bitter pill to swallow but he couldn’t do it. It lodged itself raw and unpleasant at the back of his throat.

#song of cassandra #batman fanfiction #bruce wayne #dick grayson #Jason Todd #Damian Wayne #Tim Drake #hurt comfort #brotherly bonding #bruce wayne a+ parenting #emotional abuse #emotional whump #nightwing #red hood #robin #spoiler #Red Robin #DC comics #batman #My writing #LittleDarlingXOX

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi Steph! My friend is cheating on me, but he keeps denying it. I have proof, but I didn’t tell him yet, just that I have suspicions. But whatever I say he lies or ignores me for hours. He mattered so much to me, he was my whole world, but now everything is lost. He always told me such beautiful things, how much he loved me, that he never wanted to lose me. But how can I know that’s not a lie too? I never wanted to lose him, but every lie more hurts so much. What can I do? Confront him or leave?

Hey Nonny *HUGS*

Ahh, okay you’re not gonna like what I have to say, but in the end, the decision is yours to make. I’m not a professional, just speaking as an outsider looking into a situation I don’t know everything about.

Just dump him; be the grown up and the civil one in the situation, if you’re just going to continue on feeling this way about him. He already made the choice for you guys when he needed to cheat on you with someone else behind your back, and then act like he did nothing wrong, and to me that’s cowardly and disrespectful to you as a person. He wants his cake and eat it too, and you need to let him know that you are not going to put up with it. Because it’s never going to change until he learns to grow up and act like a responsible human being. You guys agreed to be monogamous when you got together, and he broke that trust.

Honestly, yes you might feel like, in a moment of emotional turmoil, the only way you can take the power back is to shove it in his face and force a confession out of him. I’ve seen it happen so much in one of my friend’s many many MANY emotional outbursts to her exes in the past, and it never goes well. I feel like you will be very regretful about it later on, and it will only lead to more heartache.

Honestly, by the tone of this message, it sounds like you’re already done with him, just make a clean break of it and go. And be prepared because he WILL accuse YOU of being the cheater, because that’s what emotional abusers do when they don’t have a handle on their situation anymore: victim blame. And to that, say “No, I’m not, but I love myself enough to know that I don’t need YOU in my life anymore.” Okay I’m not good at ALL with comebacks, but if you’re quippy and are better with one-up comebacks, do it, and don’t ever look back.

And he probably will try to get back with you: don’t. Because this cycle will happen again. You deserve a partner who loves you for being you. Just know his cheating is not your fault. It’s all his own issues to work through, and you’re not his therapist or his parent.

As for the “blackmail material”... I mean... the petty bitchy side of me says “SHOW EVERYONE SHAME THE ASSHOLE”, I’m not going to lie, but LOGICALLY and as someone who just doesn’t like dealing with real life drama, I think for you to just get rid of it. You have your proof, it’s made the decision for you, just start living for yourself again.

I’m sorry you’re having a rough go, truly, but honestly, I just don’t see the point in dragging this whole thing out longer than it should. Cut it, and move on.

If anyone who actually has had a relationship, unlike me, would care to offer better advice, please do. <3

#steph replies #chatting with nonnies #relationship advice #my advice #i am not a professional #Anonymous

[currentfandomkick]

Marinette did not sign up for this part 7

So i kind of live, and this continues on. 

first part here   previous part here      ao3 here 

             Stephanie twitched when she finished comparing financial resources needed to handle a covert operation, butterfly garden underground, AND manage to keep it secret from the rest of Paris. Cass checked her numbers and it became very apparent that only—and she stressed the only—someone insanely wealthy and is a recluse could be Hawkmoth. And in Paris, that meant one man—Gabriel Agreste.

             Cass was the one to narrow it down to him, and Steph argued with her about it being impossible as “He’s been akumatized!” Honestly, Cass was acting like the Ladyblogger who published one of her early ‘could be Hawkmoth’ theories with Gabriel Agreste as a option with “probably had Mayura as Hawkmoth in her place” argument. It was retracted, and there was a apology put up for it that included: this list was not intended to be serious guys—I put multiple known akuma victims here and ways they could have been Hawkmoth no matter how public the akumatazation was. Did not expect this one to be taken so seriously, my sincerest apologies to M. Agreste and Mm. Sancoeur.”

             Steph could smell the ‘I was forced to do this’ off the apology, and did her best not to agree with Cass that it was forced as then Cass would argue it was a serious accusation put in mixed with less serious ones to get people thinking. To get Ladyblog followers to take notes and pass it to Ladybug and Chat Noir for further investigation. Which, would be a good way to contact the heroes. Except…

             “She interviews the Miraculous team on a bi-weekly basis Cass, she’d have plenty of opportunities to tell them her theories.”

             Cass crossed her arms. While they might heavily disagree on this aspect of who Hawkmoth and Mayura are, there is another aspect that is held in contention between the two of them…

             “Plus, Hawkmoth and Mayura are totally a couple, and everyone knows Gabriel Agreste is too hung up on his wife’s disappearance to consider moving on, let alone do it.”

             “Professionals.”

             Stephanie rolled her eyes. Cass is good at body language. There is no doubt about her being better than most. However—Hawkmoth is an egomaniac. Egomaniacs don’t give up when their goal is in reach for a henchman getting ill or injured. Not unless said hench is, well, romantically involved with them. She knew from watching Gotham’s underbelly for years—their romantic relationship had to be rock solid for it to even be considered. Married or may-as-well-be.

             “He’s ended how many battles early for her? Totally bordering on, if not actually, married.”

             Stephanie paused when two girls joined them, the ladyblogger herself with a too big grin, and soup girl if Cass wasn’t mistaken.

             “Hawkmoth and Mayura relationship debate?” The blogger grinned.

             Stephanie nodded, as yes, and this is serious. “Cass is convinced they’re just professionals with standards.”

             Soup girl groaned. “Not this again!”

             “Girl, I told you, I’m not the only one who thinks they’re a couple, and serious.”

             Stephanie grinned as Cass huffed. A vote for Team Hawkyura!

             “I told you, Hawkmoth is too obsessed with the miraculous to be capable of human emotions, and Mayura is too smart to fall for him. He’s probably paying her a lot or cancelling out a debt for her to work for him how she is,” Soup girl reasoned.

             Stephanie shook her head while Cass rose victoriously, scooting a bit closer to her fellow ‘stop shipping the villains’ teammate. Which is ridiculous—it isn’t shipping if it isn’t even subtext at this point.

             “No, no,” the blogger leaned forward, settled into their table on Stephanie’s side. “That means the relationship would have to be healthy, and its perfect possible for it to extremely unhealthy and for Mayura to be in a bad relationship with someone who isn’t wroth her time. Why else would she keep using a broken miraculous that’s making her sick?”

             Stephanie nodded at the blogger’s side. “And abusive relationships can happen to anyone. Back in our home city,” Steph gestured between herself and Cass. “A top psychologist went villain because she was manipulated into thinking the guy just needed her love to fix him and fell into a life of crime and wanted to stay by the guy’s side regardless of how many times he hurt her.”

             Cass nodded at that, frowning at that. She wasn’t there for Harley Quinn, henchman of Joker. Stephanie was. She did see the aftermath and bits of Harley’s (ongoing) recovery.

             Soup girl shook her head. “Its not that, everyone knows the Peacock is emotions so she would know he’s toying with her. She would know she deserves better. She’s staying because of finances or blackmail or maybe even being able to fix something that’s unfixable.”

             Cass hummed in agreement. “Needs to survive.”

             Soup girl nodded. “There’s no motivator more powerful than that.”

             “Um, love,” Stephanie supplied. She may not be the best at all its forms, but loving gotham’s citizens enough to want to save them was part of what drove her to become Spoiler in the first place. Spite too, but that didn’t seem like the best thing to mention at the time.

             “Exactly,” the blogger passed Stephanie one of her cookies. “Love makes people do crazy things, or did you forget Hercules.”

             Soup girl looked exhausted at that, pinching her brow. “We agreed never to bring Disney logic into these arguments.”          

             “The quote is true—People do crazy things when they’re in love. And Mayura is in love with Hawkmoth, and he’s in love with her.”

             Soup girl rolled her eyes. “Then you’d have to give up the Gabriel and Natalie theory for good. He’s still in love with his wife, and he treats Natalie more like a tablet than a person. No way that’s how he’d treat someone he’s in love with.”

             “Are we forgetting how he treats you and Adrien?”

             Stephanie and Cass exchanged a look. Stephanie focused on soup girl then. Really looked at her. Tired, twitchy, all signs of needing and not getting a good night’s rest.

             “Okay, he goes way overboard with supervising and has control issues, I’m not saying he doesn’t, ever. But he doesn’t let me take commissions unless my grades are up there, hires tutors for me and Adrien regularly, and he’s let up on controlling who Adrien can be safely friendly with to avoid crazy fans ever since I joined.”

             “You joined, therefore are something he can control, and are therefore not going to endanger Adrien or Gabriel since it would hurt your career,” the blogger explained.

             “Sounds like Hawkmoth,” Stephanie added absently, then froze as Cass grinned at her. back track time, ASAP. “But it can’t be since the guy was akumatized.”

             Soup girl looked relieved at what Stephanie said. Though, thinks weren’t looking up much on that front. She might have Batgirl pay the man a visit… after hacking the girl’s schedule and Adrien’s and seeing how much this man really was trying to control them both.

             Cass raised an eyebrow at her.

             “Thank you—can you get Alya off that train too?”

             The blogger leveled Stephanie a look that reminded her too much of Lois Lane that time she tried to interview the Batfam on Gotham crime rates and the effectiveness of vigilantes in a city that was entrenched in corruption and if it was better to just gut the Gotham justice system and start anew with different training and such, to prevent villain strength and intensity escalation. In short—she scared Stephanie. Just a little.

             “I think maybe Lois Lane could, but I doubt it.”

             “Lois Lane is the hero the world is not good enough for and her word is worth more than all of Metropolis.”

             “Not that hard to achieve,” Stephanie said without thinking. There is a lot of property damage there after all, they just have a more white collar-exclusive criminal element. Plus, Lex keeps his bigger projects in other places that are harder for Superman to find.

             Soup girl snorted at that.

             The blogger took offense.

             Stephanie would say all-in-all, not her worst time out on a mission doing detective work in broad daylight.

--

             Marinette was quick to transform into Multimouse and meet up with Rena in the Lourve. It wasn’t the first time either—Alix’s dad took to helping her translate Gaurdian since she hadn’t learned it all before Fu died. Besides her, he was the only one who could read the spell book… though that reduced the miraculous grimoire to nothing but the potions. It held the history of the kwami, how to summon and bind them, and even how to craft weapons for them. It included instructions on how to become a Guardian and what was required of her the sole guardian, and how the Order operated with mentions of ways it could be reformed should it ever vanish.

             It was the closest thing Marinette had to a mentor on how to re-build the Order and choose members, and how to make the best choices as Guardian. It even listed allied organizations and how much stock should be put into trusting them.

             But right now, she wasn’t there as Ladybug to go over another passage or talk about possible meaning and philosophies (did they really mean her job is to kill to protect the miraculous, or like, be that ready to ensure they remained safe?) or the whole “is the soul splitting a metaphor or actual magic” (magic). No, she was there as Multimouse, with Rena Rouge, as representatives of the Miraculous Team to meet up with the Amazonian Historian sent by The Former Ladybug, Hippolyta.

             “Greetings Alwphekion,” the woman nodded at Rena. “Muidion,” she acknowledged Multimouse. “I am Vupyte of Themyscira, and our leading historian on the miraculous. How may I be of assistance, young Champions?”

             Multimouse stepped forward, forgetting she wasn’t Ladybug at the moment. This question had been burning in her mind since she was told of the missing pair. “Could you tell us how the ladybug and black cat miraculous would interact with the main five if it wasn’t for Hawkmoth?”

             Rena glanced at Multimouse, knowing that something was off. It was possible Marinette may be more involved intellectually than she’d been letting on… though given her unofficial spy-work, it was possible that Marinette was Ladybug’s first choice in help… which lead to questions Rena had to keep silent… until Hawkmoth was defeated.

             “Ah, that is both simple and complex. If you wouldn’t mind,” Vupyte gestured for the pair to sit with her. “I was expecting something like that to come from Alwphekion, not you Muidion.”

             Multimouse would have been flustered a few years ago. Hell, even a few month ago, before Fu was compromised, she would have panicked a bit. But right now?

             “Ladybug tasked me to get any information to help her rebuild the Order. I won’t fail her.” She couldn’t fail the kwami. Especially Tikki who never gave up on her, even when Marinette was ready to throw in the towel a hundred times over and give her miraculous to Alya—the brave one she once had to mimic to handle being Ladybug.

             “Ah.” Vupyte leaned back. “No wonder there’s such a storm in your eyes.”

             Multimouse didn’t know how to handle that, so she brushed it aside.

             Rena put a hand on her knee and squeezed.

             Multimouse was glad she wasn’t alone in this.

             “That story goes back far beyond when my people interacted with the miraculous. Perhaps I could have a figure you trust help me digitize my research on the history in full for your Ladybug?”

             Multimouse nodded. That… “Director Kubdel was vetted by Ladybug previously for his discretion and understanding of how sensitive the miraculous and miraculous matters are.”

             Vupyte agreed to use the man at a later date. “For now, I can give you an overview of how the work together.”

             “That would be sufficient.” Multimouse did her best to copy M. Agreste’s professional affect. To hide how out of her depths she was at the moment.

             Vupyte grinned. “First off, The Savior, your Ladybug, has the role of creation. Her role in the group is to guide them to growth, to safety. She is your strategist in battle and the team’s healer. You know this already. She is the only one able to undo the Destroyer—your Chat Noir’s—abilities. However, she can only undo his damage so long as she believes it needs her intervention. Should she find his judgement—and his punishments for those violating the contract between those under the Miraculous’ protection, the Order, Champion and Kwami—be just, she cannot undo what he did.”

             Multimouse felt her heart seize. Plagg mentioned the Atlantians tried to convince a Fox into destroying a rival kingdom, a kingdom that was not doing as the Atlantians’ claimed. When the Fox refused… Plagg never said what happened after that.

             She knew only a third of the Atlantian’s survived the sinking from what they’d released to the public about their history.

             “A ladybug is given all the creative force that exists between her and her black cat, while the cat is given all the ability to detect danger. Half of each of their souls are swapped to ensure this ability switch remains, and that their bond is unbreakable so long as they are called on as Champions. The cat protects her from harm, and she supplies him with what is needed. They are only ever called on in times of absolute crisis—when the Contract is violated, or when the world’s balance is nearing a breaking point.”

             Rena was too still by Multimouse, piecing things together. Multimouse hoped she didn’t pass this on to the others… not until Marinette was certain they were safe to remain in the Order and that they want to be in it—that they don’t feel obligated to out of duty but truly want to protect the kwami. Even if it means never being a hero again.

             “The turtle shields them both—the Cat in battle and the ladybug when healing. They can even bring forth another weapon, though what it is, there is no record that we have found reliable.”

             Multimouse raised an eyebrow.

             “Shelter?”

             The Amazonian shook her head. “No Muidion, something else entirely… the incomplete records I found mentioned people being pulled to the turtle, feeling absolute safety and complete trust in them no matter what happened around them. What causes this, is unknown.”

             Multimouse felt the need to roll her eyes. she was fairly certain it was a cross between ‘must parent them all’ and the turtle’s capacity to ensure nothing broke Shelter. Possibly making it opaque, or something else. She’d ask Wayzz when Nino was asleep.

“Often the turtle focuses on getting civilians out of the area to safety. They are often aided by the Peacock, who creates a creature from a single emotion and ties it to an object, to direct its actions. The turtle protects those in danger with their shelter while the peacock’s creation and the peacock keep enemy combatants busy.

             “The butterfly may check for spies among their ranks, potential traitors too by their emotions but that is often another’s role. They often connect members across distances with those outside of their ranks, acting as a diplomat and choosing new members. At times, they might even make use of their full ability and create a champion of their own, granting them the power to make an army to help the cat while following the ladybug’s plan, or to test a possible candidate’s worth by seeing what they do when given power, and how it is used while having the failsafe of taking it away again.

             “The bee tends to fight beside the Cat, at times ordering the butterfly’s champion should their connection fail, and is ready to take down said champion should they betray the group with a single sting. The bee answers to the ladybug and cat alone—following the pair’s vision and ensuring it is executed whenever one or both of the pair is absent.

             “Then there is the fox, like you Alwphekion. I assume you have grown fond of your ally,” Vupyte gestured to Rena’s flute. “They let you craft any illusion you want. But I doubt you were told of the true power of the fox.”

             Multimouse shifted at that. “The Gaurdian was young when their temple was destroyed. I doubt they hid it intentionally.”

             Vupyte paused at that. “I did not mean it like that Muidion, simply that the Fox is given little emphansis by the Order to the point it was given a dishonorable title for their champions to inherit, the Deceiver,” Vupyte spat the title like sour milk. “Alwphekion is the one who sees all in their truth, through every lie one has spoken or believed. A fox is not a crafter of fallacy, merely presenting what one feels or desires. Their greatest gift is in their true voice, the one that none can lie or withhold information upon being addressed by it.”

             Rena leaned forward, focusing on Vupyte. “How?”

             Vupyte sighed. “The records of that were destroyed in Alexandria’s flames. It is a power a fox can only use with great conviction and motivation. Until then, they can only sense deceptions in shades while the truth rings of their own melody according to legend.”

             Rena stared at her lap.

             Multimouse put a hand on her arm. “We’ll figure it out.”

             Rena leaned into the touch then, sighing. “I have a question of my own, if you don’t mind.”

             “Certainly I do not,” Vupyte assured. “I am here to help the Miraculous Champions however I am allowed by you. I owe your predecessors more than I could ever repay.”

             Rena nodded at that. “What are the chances a butterfly user could make themself a champion?”

             Vupyte opened and closed her mouth, lips pressing and pursing until she found words to her liking. “It is not impossible for them to do so. They would have to drop their transformation to do so, which would prevent proper guidance, and would need to give themself a very limited power.”

             Rena took a deep breath.

             Multimouse took a sharp intake. That changed the rules. A lot.

             “So, hypotethetically, if one’s power could only affect a specified amount of things at a time, say, put into a given space and then whatever new thing was put in was then ejected from said space,” Rena continued, “would that be a feasible power for a butterfly’s champion to use without a butterfly guiding them?”

             Multimouse felt her stomach drop at Vupyte’s hesitance.

             “That is… rather specific.” Vupyte pondered it for a moment more. “While I can’t be certain of the logisitics, it is one of the safest abilities to give in those circumstances. Tight limitations, a weak ability that lacks army-growing capacity, so no need to use the butterfly champion to connect their chosen champion to their subjects, and it is straight forward so no need for an explanation, or perhaps the lack of one would make their reaction to discovering this limit more genuine.”

             Multimouse felt sick.

             Things aligned quickly in her head. Finances. Schedules. Timing. Targets of preference—teens at Dupont where Adrien goes and is able to talk about his day to either Natalie or Gorilla, who would report it back to him. Even Adrien’s concerns for them—weaknesses, insecurities, fears…

             It made too much sense.

             Multimouse stood up. “I have to go, excuse me.”

             Rena gawked at her. “Wait, Mul—”

             Multimouse ran out quickly, running to an alley to detransform and get Tikki to get her head on straight as Marinette spiraled.

             Gabriel Agreste couldn’t be Hawkmoth.

             He couldn’t be.

--

             Outside the alley, Tim, Cass and Stephanie froze as the girl Tim was convinced was Ladybug appeared. She was in a grey suit before.

--

             Rena looked back at Vupyte, hoping her girl got the air she needed. She knew Marinette would come around eventually, but for now…

             “One moment.”

             Alya sent off a quick text to Aurore. The girl was good at keeping Marinette distracted, out of a spiral, and helping her process.

             Aurore confirmed she found Marinette in an alley bordering on a panic attack and was taking her home.

             Rena sighed in relief.

             “Okay, now that that’s settled, there’s something you didn’t spill.”

             Vupyte smiled at Rena. “You are a clever Alwphekion.”

             Rena raised an eyebrow.

             Vupyte sighed. “A ladybug and black cat take the longest to mature in their team. It is no fault of their own; a side effect of half of their being being doubled and the other being taken. Of the two, Ladybug requires the longest time to come into her own as a strategist and healer.”

             Rena snorted at that. “Have you seen Ladybug?”

             Vupyte sucked in her breath through her teeth. “I have.”

             Rena watched her more intensely then.

             “She is not even out of her training suit, while the rest of yours have become personalized, implying that you are not being overtaken by your role. That you have blended with your kwami and role, rather than be consumed by it.”

             Rena froze at that.

             “What do you mean be consumed by it.” it didn’t come out like a question, it fell out like doubt defending fear.

             “Ladybugs fill in any holes in their group. Right now you are missing two, and one is injured,” Vupyte noted.

             Rena filled in the blanks. “Until we get a Butterfly and fix the Peacock, Ladybug isn’t really Ladybug, is she?”

             Vupyte sighed. “She is a child trying to run a home alone until they are both present as allies.”

             Rena frowned at that. “Then why isn’t Chat affected?”

             Vupyte looked far older then. “Have you not noticed that he can only extend and shorten his staff?”

             Rena opened her mouth, only for no words to come out.

             “He should be able to turn his weapon into whatever hand-held weapon he desires at that moment to protect your team. He cannot fulfill his role as Judge and Protector proper. He may be his own person within his transformation and within the team, but he lack his full range. Ladybug has her full range of abilities, but lacks her individuality as a Ladybug proper. Her team is incomplete, so she must continue to cover and cover and cover until it is complete with all five of her strongest allies at her side. Until then, whoever is under the mask will give and give and give until there is nothing left.”

             Rena swallowed thickly. “How do I stop that?”

             Vupyte leveled Rena with a few words. “Find Hawkmoth and Mayura, take their miraculous, and once the miraculous is fixed, hand them to worthy champions—ones who are strong judges of others for the butterfly, and of who is in need for the peacock.”

             Rena felt her mind waver to Rose for the peacock—the girl who fought for everyone. She was blanking on a butterfly though—a strong judge of character was hard to think of as a core characteristic of someone she knew she could trust.

             “You have one in mind,” Vupyte said quietly. “Good. You will have to find another for the other, or an ally of yours must find candidates. The sooner this is determined, the sooner your Ladybug will come into her own. The only other way… would be dangerous.”

             Rena nodded. She texted Chat and Carapace to meet her to talk about what she learned. They’d protect Ladybug. Their Leader. Paris’ Savior. And their friend.

--

             Aurore is many things. Miss Sting is a necessity to keep Paris safe. Aurore of the weather girl duo on KIDZ+. Miss Mandeliev’s favorite to call on for environmental studies and among Bustier’s favorite to read a well researched report. She is also one of poor Marinette’s longest standing friends, and one of the only people who can catch her mid attack and get her to pull out of and process her spiral without setting off a different bout of anxiety.

              Which is why she captured the akuma in a jar, hid it in her backpack until Chat or LAdybug could handle it, and nabbed her friend in the first place when Alya messaged her. She is not on the best of terms with the reporter (she might be holding a grudge over Lady Wifi calling her a hack and may have gone on a spree fact checking the Ladyblog in the early days and found holes on a Certain Person who has been since excommunicated by the students of Dupont and left the school in disgrace within a less than a week of attending). Especially since she insisted on being Mairnette’s best friend when Marinette has her already. honestly, the other never has been the best at seeing the obvious…

             Like the fact that Marinette’s anxiety up ticked with Ladybug’s issues. Or that around the time Chat Noir took on being Mr. Bug, Marinette was injured. OR that Chat hangs around Marinette a lot when Marinette is around an attack, even covering for her.

             Aurore dealth in meteorology and environmental sciences. She dealth with public appearances, PR, and being a child star. It is not her place to point out that Marinette is clearly (a) Chat and Ladybug’s confidant somehow, (b) a member of the team (c) Ladybug or some combination thereof. She didn’t want to make a call, she didn’t have evidence to back it up, and she didn’t run on intuition like Alya.

             Aurore is a Bee, and they operate best within rules.

             Ladybug made not looking into identities a rule. One she’s certain Rena has been ignoring… but Miss Sting follows Ladybug’s word to the letter. She has not looked into anyone’s identity and actively ignored any possible relveations in favor of working on her civilian life and focusing on capturing akuma before someone becomes akumatized, and bringing her catches to Ladybug or Chat for purification or destruction respectfully. Depending on how schedules lined up for patrols.

             Now, Aurore is content listening to Marinette ramble about baking soda and baking powder with buttermilk on her latest recipe and how that connects to their chemistry homework (as they were both smart enough to dodge the math that goes into physics, unlike Adrien or Nino and Rose who were naïve enough to take music theory).

             That doesn’t stop her from seeing faint movement on their school roof in reflections.

             Ladybug may not have made it a rule to protect Marinette. Chat may not have stated such either, but his actions told her it was a priority. And her duties as Marinette’s longest unstrained friendship demanded she monitor the situation.

             Once Marinette went down for snacks, aurore snuck into her friend’s bathroom and transformed to send a single message” I think Chat’s princess has a stalker now. Keep an eye on repeats in her environment.”

--

             Pegasus was furious when he saw the message. Cowboy was hacking camera in the area as they spoke with the other members of the team.

             Rena paled and Carapace looked oddly dangerous in that moment.

             Chat Noir and Ryuuko were the most deadly of the group… Chat’s suit almost… moving, but it had to be a trick of the light. Ryuuko had the same look Rena did when Carapace did something particularly dangerous—like refuse to flee before his time ran out and somehow stayed transformed beyond the standard five minutes after using shelter through sheer force of will alone.

             Ryuuko turned to Chat with a most Peculiar shade of anger. “I will be shadowing her.”

             It was not a question, but a demand.

             “Shouldn’t we check with Ladybug?” Pegasus asked while continuing to check camera. Nothing. Nothing at all.

             This must have been what was setting his friend on edge these last few days. Someone stalking her, but just out of a camera’s reach. Professional…

             Pegasus desperately hoped it was some paparazzi after Marinette the Designer’s secret identity, or even MDC. Anything but someone going after her for something… something he wouldn’t let cross his mind.

             Chat shot him one look that obliterated the option entirely. Pegasus may not know who his comrades are outside of the mask, but he’d be a fool not to remember that Marinette was a spy on Gabriel Agreste. That she was in constant danger as a civilian.

             Was it Hawkmoth?

             Mayura?

             Someone they hired?

             He didn’t know, and he needed to. Needed to protect his friend.

             She believed in him when he wasn’t sure of himself. She argued against his worst insecurities (nuisance, annoyance, best left forgotten) and proved she likes Max for Max. For his rambles, for his excitement and passion and his own brand of sass to their friends.

             King Monkey appeared with a rare serious expression. He didn’t know of Marinette’s involvement at all—only Chat, Ladybug, Alya and himself did—but King must know Marinette. Because that look on his face reminded Max of a friend he’d seen punch someone a little too hard for their hand to keep Max safe from a pair ready to hurt him for his mumbling as a child.

             “Whoever is doing this,” King Monkey stated with an eerily calm. “I’m calling the right to make their life a bit too chaotic.”

             “Get in line,” Rena growled, her flute ready at a moment’s notice.

--

             Elsewhere three gothamites were passed out in the same room. They decided to take a break and watch a movie together.

             They had no idea the Very Displeased eldest of the batchildren had entered the room and forced them each in a separate bed, or that he allowed a certain “demon spawn” to add a variety of traps that, while they all knew how to escape at this point, were still ass to get out of and made it clear they were in hot water.

--

             Jason hoped things worked out for the best… after his screw up, he figured Dickie and Demon Spawn should at least have a fighting chance. Or at least Nightwing would have a better chance at convincing the Justice League and the Miraculous Team they meant no harm.

             He hopes.

--- 

hope you enjoyed!

BTW we have fanart by @thegreysman!!! here which tumblr is rudely not letting me show off. 

@heldtogetherbysafetypins @laurcad123 @raisuke06 @chaosace@jeminiikrystal @toodaloo-kangaroo @kris-pines04 @bisha43rbs @izang

#marinette did not sign up for this #part 7 #maribat #bio!dad bruce #long post #my fic #my writing #can't tag #bio!dad bruce wayne #anyone know how to add a readmore?

[geckolady]

Skulduggery Pleasant: Raising Cain - Chapter 4

Chapter 4 - First day on the job

Stephanie woke up in the morning to an empty room but the sound of a lot of activity. She groaned, remembering exactly what a blubbering mess she had been the day before, but then she remembered that this was her house and her friends were here and they owed her a lot of hugs, especially now they were her brothers. How dare they be her brothers for – she checked her phone – twelve hours and she only got a hug from anyone but Skulduggery!

She stomped from the room and found them scattered in the hallway with various pieces of furniture and objects.

“Unacceptable!” She shouted at them. They all went silent and looked at her nervously. “How dare you!”

Dexter stepped forwards and put his hands up when she glared. “Stephanie, we thought you wouldn’t mind if we did some changes. We thought you would like it if you didn’t have to move home, you see, and we were moving out things–”

“Unacceptable! You did all this, made plans, and I haven’t even gotten any hugs. It’s not fair!”

She stepped forwards and clutched Dexter in a hug as tight as she could. “I love you!” She shouted into his chest.

He started laughing and hugged her back. “I love you too.”

She moved onto the others, getting better hugs as she went down the maturity scale, leaving her finally with Snake. “I got you a present,” he declared and looked around. His grin was replaced with a frown. “I lost it.”

Stephanie laughed and left to get herself breakfast since all they were doing was moving boxes into the bedrooms next to hers. When her stomach was full, she went back up to find the place clear of almost everything and the big man was carving names into some of the doors expertly. They were really nice – Erskine, Saracen, Ghastly, Anton. “Whose Anton?”

“Me,” he grunted.

She grinned. “I like that name.”

“Thank you.”

“I’ve always called you Bear.”

“Why?”

She shrugged. “I gave you all nicknames. They’re fun, and I was little when I did it.”

He nodded and got back to his work so she left him and used the bathroom at the end of the hall – there was one on either end, luckily, and the rooms were large enough that they were not actually that close to each other. She’d have to really shout to get someone’s attention if they were at the other end of the hall. When she was ready, she went downstairs to the living room to find her friends sitting in there looking quite at home. It made her smile. They looked like a family.

Her smile faded.

She felt a little excluded with them looking so happy and close. They knew each other from every angle. She couldn’t compete with that type of friendship, couldn’t dominate that type of love. Where would she fit now Gordon wasn’t here to help her?

“Steph!” Dexter said, spotting her first. “What are you doing standing around? Come sit.”

There were no seats so Stephanie dragged the bean bag into the middle of the room and sat in the centre. Gordon said she if she was unsure, get right in the middle. She was probably misunderstanding but she was doing it, right?

“What are we doing today?” She asked them.

“Well,” Skulduggery, Crow, said, “I think a talk is necessary before we do anything.”

Ghastly, Panda, nodded. “Your uncle wanted to wait but this is different.”

Crow nodded. “Usually I would try to respect Gordon’s decisions even when he is not around but in this case our hands are simply being forced. Stephanie, do you believe in magic?”

And that was how she learned about magic. About skeletons and mages and fire and Elementals and Adepts and that her uncle had tried to keep her from such incredible things.

“Why didn’t Gordon want me to know about this?” She asked, feeling a little resentful.

“Your Uncle wanted you to understand the repercussions of making life decisions before you had to make one. I know that it may seem like he held you back from this, but he really just wanted to make you happy.”

Stephanie mulled it over in her mind. She supposed that was possible. It sounded like something he’d said once, so…

“Okay. So what are we doing today?” She asked again.

“Well, there is one more thing we need to tell you,” Panda said, scratching the back of his scared head. “Your uncle…”

“He was murdered,” Stephanie said. The others were incredibly quiet and looked almost guilty. “Yeah… I sort of got the impression when you started talking about that Serpine man, and how angry you are, and how much you all hate him, and how he keeps killing people. It was suspiciously stressed upon. I mean, it feels like you sort of wanted me to work it out. But Gordon told me you guys take down bad guys all the time. So you’re going to track him down, aren’t you?”

There was a long silence. “Fuck, this is going to be fun,” Wolf laughed, standing and pulling Stephanie into his arms. “Come along little brothers, we have a case to solve!”

Stephanie laughed and banged her head against the top of the door frame and laughed even more, falling over Wolf’s shoulder and just sort of hung there laughing. They were followed out to the cars. Panda’s van was there and so was Crow’s beautiful Bentley.

“So,” Wolf said when they were standing in front of their options. “Do you want to go with Skulduggery and visit China for information or do you want to go with Ghastly and help him make you some awesome new protective clothes?”

Stephanie pretended to think about it. “Crow. But I want to help afterwards.”

“That’s my girl,” and she was let down to get in the car. Wolf opened the door and pulled down the front seat for her. “In you get.”

Stephanie looked at the car. She looked at Wolf. “No.”

He hesitated. “Why?”

“I call shotgun.”

He grinned and she almost grinned back. “But I want shotgun.”

“I called it first,” she informed him. “Now get in.”

He sighed but did get in and Stephanie allowed herself to grin. It was a silly victory, but it was so fun to boss Wolf around.

Crow joined them and the three drove into the city to a residential area to park. Stephanie wasn’t worried about the car as she was too busy laughing with Wolf as he showed her his purple electricity magic.

“Aww, come on Crow,” she said, looking over her shoulder. He looked grumpy. “It’s not all that bad.”

He shook his head. “I promised Gordon I’d raise you into a respectable young woman with good prospects and without bias. Dexter is ruining that.”

“Are you saying Wolf is going to ruin me?”

“Yeah, don’t be so mean to my Cub!” Wolf defended her, putting an arm around her shoulder.

“I will not be ruined by anything. I am quite happy here. I’ve wanted to get to know you all since I was a little kid and go on adventures and solve cases and have fun. I’m doing that. Isn’t that exactly what Gordon would have wanted?”

He sighed. “Of course,” Crow admitted. “But not like this.”

Stephanie didn’t have an answer to that. She just asked Wolf if he could electrocute her if he used his magic with his other hand if he was holding her. He laughed but she felt like electricity would flow through him to her – it wasn’t that bad of a question.

Crow went ahead of them into the dingy old building and the two made a ruckus laughing and joking about falling through the stairs. “You two need to quieten down,” Crow told them. “China won’t be happy if you don’t stop.”

“Whose China?” Stephanie asked.

“China is a lady I often go to for information. She is the most beautiful lady in the world and people fall in love with her on sight. She abuses that love and makes them bring her things for her collection. She owns a library, you see.”

“Oh. She doesn’t sound the nicest.”

“She isn’t,” Wolf said, more serious than she’d seen that day. “China isn’t to ever be trusted, but she is a good ally, and very useful for getting information. People talk to her you see. And one more thing before we go in,” he said as they stood in front of a man with a bow tie. “Do not tell anyone your name. If you do they can control you, remember?”

She nodded. “Never.”

“That’s my Cub.”

They went silently through the aisles of the library in search of the beautiful lady. Stephanie had been worried she wouldn’t know it was her but as soon as the woman was in front of her she could do nothing but stare entranced by her. She wanted to fall to her knees, kiss her feet, do anything and everything for her.

“China,” Crow said, “stop it.”

The wonderful creature laughed, making Stephanie think of little crystal bells blowing in the breeze, and the feeling of absolute devotion lessened to a minor obsession. “I’m sorry, I forget what effect I can have on new people, especially the young. Allow me to introduce myself: I am China Sorrows. And you are?”

Stephanie almost told her but Wolf squeezed her shoulder, where his arm still lay, and she shut her mouth again.

Wolf rolled his eye. “She’s too smart to fall for that.”

China grinned, and Stephanie felt she was being mocked. It certainly let her shake off a little more of the overpowering emotions she was feeling.

“Don’t you have anything for me today Dexter? Not even a hug?” China asked.

“Naa, this is my only girl now.”

“I see I’ve been replaced then, and I don’t even get to hear her speak. So, tell me, why are you visiting me today?”

Crow took over. “We have reason to believe Gordon was murdered.”

“By who?”

He was silent.

“Oh, no,” China said with a gentle laugh. “Not Serpine again? Skulduggery, you think Serpine is guilty of every crime you stumble across.”

“That’s because he usually is.”

“Well I still can’t help you. I have heard nothing but nonsense rumours that don’t even deserve to be called rumours,” she said with a smirk. “I imagine it would make you laugh.”

“What is it then?” Stephanie asked, getting annoyed at the back and forth.

China laughed. “The word is that Serpine has begun believing in fairy tales. In the Sceptre of the Ancients.”

Crow was silent for a moment. “Has he found it?”

“Skulduggery, dear, the Sceptre is a legend and nothing more. There is nothing to find no matter how much he searches.”

“If he’s looking it has some value.”

“That doesn’t mean it exists though, only that he has become more insane.”

“He doesn’t sound like a stupid man,” Stephanie said quietly. “If he thinks it’s real, there has to be a reason, and you said he was looking right? So, he has an idea of where it was. Does that mean he killed Gordon for it? Did Gordon have it?”

The adults looked at each other. “I think you found a lead,” Skulduggery said after a moment of consideration.

They left quickly, trotting down the stairs and out to the car. Crow called the others and put it on speaker, letting Stephanie hold the phone up for him while he drove to Panda’s tailor shop.

“What did you find?” Panda asked when he picked up.

“He’s searching for the Sceptre,” Crow said.

“How did you figure that out?” Weasel, who was really Saracen Rue, asked confusedly. “I never would have thought up that.”

“I didn’t need you to,” Crow said. “My partner in crime did.”

There was a short silence. “Why does she get to be yourapprentice? I want a prodigy too.”

Stephanie grinned and tried not to start giggling as all six men started bickering over her. Eventually it was too much, and she started laughing uproariously at them, making them stop. She could feel them get embarrassed and probably defensive, but it just made her laugh more.

“Oh, please, stop!” She choked out between her laughs. “I’m gonna pee.”

“No! Ghastly, she’s yours,” Crow said in a panic.

She snorted. “I’m not really.”

“She’s mine.”

“You never said about what I thought.”

“Ah, yes. Stephanie realised that Gordon must have had it in his possession at some point, or else had information on where it must be. That’s why Serpine killed him,” Crow said, working it through. “Remember the legends. There can only be one owner of the Sceptre. If Gordon found it after centuries of it being lost, then he was the owner. Upon his death, the Sceptre became free for the taking again, making Serpine able to take the Sceptre with no problems.”

“That means it must be in the mansion,” Stephanie said. “There’s so many trap doors and spaces in the walls, and he never let me in the basement or loft or most of the third floor, or the fourth at all. It could be anywhere in there.”

Crow nodded. “Exactly.” He pulled the car to park on a dodgy looking street. Crow told them they were coming to the shop and they hung up, Stephanie letting Wolf out the back at which point his protective arm returned to her shoulders. It was fun having a big brother.

The shop was grey and a little run down, like the rest of the area, but when they entered it was bight, open and nice looking, if a little like a bachelor pad that had clashed badly with silk, chiffon, tweed and every imaginable button, thread, colour and material. It somehow was still masculine, made better by the muscles on Panda as he run a black as night material through his sewing machine with tender care. She couldn’t help but grin.

“Where in the mansion?” Snake, really Erskine, asked when they had locked the door. They were sprawled around the room, leaving Stephanie the only person standing. They had even taken the table space. She sat, instead, on the arm of the sofa next to Anton.

“Under the mansion is a cave system,” Crow admitted. “Gordon said when he was looking for his home that it was the only place with a magic history – he only wanted one steeped in as much magic as possible – that had only a negative history attached to its magic. Of course, he loved the scandal and bought it, and said once that it had a cave system beneath it. He found a journal from the owner a year later and was raving that he got in and there’re magic creatures. I agree he could have decided to hide the Sceptre anywhere, perhaps to trick someone into going into the caves, but it doesn’t seem his style.”

“If Gordon loved magic as much as you say, and he has a magical cave system with magic security, why wouldn’t he hide it there? It sort of makes sense he’d decide that.”

“Precisely. The Sceptre is free for taking so long as you can get into the caves, so long as you can get passed the monsters and whatever other traps have been set up, if you can get out afterwards. It can be done, but can he do it before us?”

“Nope,” Stephanie said. “We have the house, we can get it today.”

“How do we get in?” Bear asked.

“We need a key. I doubt Gordon would have left that around the house,” Crow said, rubbing his bone jaw.

“So the key is to find the key,” Snake said, smirking. “Any ideas.”

They were silent thinking it through.

Crow cleared his non-throat. “Gordon said what I searched for was right in front of me.”

“Oh fuck,” Stephanie said, sagging. She got looks of shock and scandal, and a few winks. “Fergus and Beryl have the key.”

#skulduggery pleasant #skulduggery #valkyrie cain #valkyrie #fanfic #fanfiction #ao3 fanfic #raising cain #dead men #the dead men #YA fanfiction #family #romance #slowburn #derek landy #ff.net #wattpad #LGBT #LGBTQ+ #lesbian #bisexual #gay #magic #fantasy #Landy #chapter 4

[thattimdrakeguy]

Toxicity, gaslighting, hypocrisy, an overall just bad fandom folks on twitter.

I’m glad I’m not involved with twitter comic fandom cuz the amount of people trying  to make Tim look bad like throwing a fit cuz he’s under too much pressure or like-- not being a saint. While calling characters that constantly murder people or violate human rights “baby” is way too high.

Even just the minor lies are nutty, acting like the 90s edgy art style at the time shows Tim is twisted cuz he looks scary in it-- when it’s just dated art

But then-- complain when people say things out of context for other characters-- when the context doesn't make it better. I really can’t process those people. they confuse me.

Also one of them apparently said Tim being a rich white kid makes him a power fantasy? Which is superficial at best  when applied to Tim given when you read 90s Robin-- (Which I assume they’re complaining about, cuz he still lives away from Bruce then-- cuz otherwise Jason would technically count as a rich kid) Tim is just this dorky kid, who’s scared on  the inside, putting on a brave face and fighting crime and his insecurity problem. He’s not some masculine power fantasy, he’s a relateable kid, his wealth besides being able to spend money in his first mini was even portrayed negatively if any thing sometimes with his dad as having been away for a lot of his childhood and leaving Tim without proper social development and being pretty socially clueless to the point it‘s a problem he has no street smarts.

So pretty much just gaslighting and strawman arguments.

You’re racist if you don’t like Damian.

You hate poor people if you don’t like Jason.

You’re sexist if you don’t like Stephanie.

But I’m someone who still likes Jason a lot even if I don’t like any thing in the Red Hood era not done by Winnick (and even then there’s a scene in Lost Days  that creeps me out), and used to like Damian and Steph, I just stopped liking them because I just found myself realizing I don’t particularly like a lot of their writing.

At the same time as well, isn’t it just more reasonable that people don’t like them cuz of simple taste or their character actions?

Damian does kidnap people and violates people’s human rights currently, and did chemically paralyze and trigger Jon in their first meeting, as well as smacks him for freaking out later on that miniseries.

If you made Steph a dude, more people would be very likely to call Steph a sexual harasser for flirting with Tim past  what he’s comfortable with, even with the knowledge he has a girlfriend. Plus she has shown dangerous cynicism in nearly letting criminals die, and even tendencies found in emotional abusers given her gaslighting, ill-trust, and attempts to go behind Tim's back, and even throwing crap at him while refusing to talk as he’s trying to apologize for some thing he didn’t actually do.

Not even to say Tim is a saint, he’s shown to be insensitive, and condescending, but if you start with his origin and not Red Robin, in my experience it ‘s more likely you’ll read him as a socially oblivious boy scout-esque kid rather than an angsty jerk. Doesn’t make what he did not bad, but just more interesting, because if a character is a saint it‘s boring, and Tim's actual original character makes what he does less offending to people. He has gotten incredibly pissed off at his friends, but ... he’s a literal kid that has to lead other kids with super powers. It‘s bad that he threw fits, but it ‘s never done in a way that makes it feel like “Oh i must hate this character”. Damian is also a kid, but what he does is way more notably offending to some people. He has a bad backstory but it is fiction, people have different standards with specific actions depending on how they feel about it. It‘s not illogical to be fine with a socially oblivious kid being insensitive but not be fine with a character  that consistently does bad things even after they’re aware it‘s bad. 

(Heck, Tim even cheated on his girlfriend, but given how that whole storyline chunk was written, it‘s more out of character and an example of bad writing than anything else, given how Tim feels on the topic of cheating before and after, as well as how much he cared about Ari. It was inconsistent and even the writing breezes past reality with how Ari suddenly agrees to mutually break up. I don’t  believe the story actually treats it fully as cheating either, making it feel like they knew. So it feels more like bad writing than a thing to judge Tim on, because that‘s just something people use to criticize bad writing, quite commonly even with many shows or movies. I can still get why people don’t care. It‘s more of a writing complaint. Like Jason being a serial killer is. It‘s inconsistent, doesn't add up, and isn’t a good reflection of the character.)

If you are fine with it is some thing else, cuz that‘s a matter of tastes.

I actually started calling Tim “baby” cuz Damian fans called Damian baby-- which I find a bit more odd (sometimes honestly just worried given the crap he does in the images they say that to some of the time), cuz while I’m aware Damian is younger obviously, he’s only cute in pandering moments that‘d I’d actually deem ooc, using basic standards that it isn’t consistent with anything before and after, as well as not fitting who the character is or even built up properly if they even try. (Also cuz Aunt May called Peter and friends babies and  thought it was charming). My blog as well is about 90s Tim Drake as well, where’d he’d be a year off of the same age as Damian mainly, I may call him baby past that age, but that‘s just cuz it‘s s tuck in my head now. I really can’t picture calling RR Tim baby in fandom usage of the word (which is  the only way I use it) if that was the only way he’s ever been.

Like with characters I start from the beginning (besides Dick and Bruce cuz gosh that’d take forever) and judge what ‘s in-character from there and read, while noticing development as well as things they’ve done. i didn’t read Red Robin first, I read Robin first. I didn’t read Batgirl first I read her Robin appearances first. When I studied Jason I wen t with his post-crisis Robin run (I deem pre-crisis Jason a different character given so much is different the same way i do with the New 52 teen titans core four generally speaking besides comparing to pre-New 52 versions). When I went to study Damian for stuff I read his first appearances forward much the same. And at one point in time I liked all these characters, I judged them based off of reading them.

So I’m not someone with just a bias-- I’m aware some of my friends do, but I’m not my friends if that wasn’t obvious. I’m friends with some people that like vastly different things than me even.

All I can say in the end is that it bugs me that toxic people have convinced themselves they are some victim while spreading harassment, lies, and gaslighting, because other people just enjoy different things or read things differently.

A lot of these people bother me especially because they frame themselves or the character  they like as some victim they have to defend, and even target specific people over, when they themselves are the ones showing basic toxic behavior. they are the toxic ones yet believe they’re the victim-- cuz someone read a comic differently or didn’t like the same character as them.

That is nuts to me

I’ve even had to deal with similar people since I gotten called a racist for not liking Damian-- when I’ve even mentioned that I’ve liked Damian previously, and explained I simply didn’t like his comic or his writing enough to reasonably like him. Meaning I guess the action of not liking Damian-- in of itself-- is racist, which is gaslighting at best. I’m sure someone out there even hates Damian because they’re racist, but why treat everyone (or at least some notable chunk to be worth talking about) that doesn't like him as if they’re that person?

They’d rather believe that people that don’t like what they do must be terrible people of some kind rather than treat them as normal people.

They’ve even showed hypocritical behavior, by complaining of others not  giving context-- while doing the same thing to other characters.

As I said, I’m not on comic book twitter, I have not even interacted with these people. I’ve just seen it, and it‘s just so toxic to me. It‘s a bad thing to see over fiction.

#tim drake #Robin #DC Comics #fandom toxicity #discourse

[misslisterkeepsajournal]

1826 Saturday 15 April

7 3/4

1 1/4

Went downstairs - on returning stood at the foot of Miss Marsh’s bed talking for an hour - too late to dress for breakfast at the Duffins’ Miss Marsh sent an excuse - Miss Duffin soon afterwards sent to say she would come and breakfast with us, her uncle was gone to Mr Price’s to breakfast and meet Colonel Wilson - Mr Montagu Wynyard would breakfast with us, in spite of all hints to the contrary from Miss Duffin that Miss Marsh was not well, etc etc - Sat down to breakfast about 10 1/2 - Mr Wynyard was passing thro’ York, and came to ask Miss Marsh how she did for a minute or 2 - a little before 12 just called to see Mr Duffin and went over the bridge with Miss Marsh she left me at Dr H.S. Belcombe’s while she went to the spinning school - tête à tête 1st with Mrs H.S. Belcombe then with Steph -

Told them both I did not think Pi [Mariana] would live a year with delta [Charles Lawton] I said I would not interfere again I thought her life and health too much at stake asked Mrs H.S. Belcombe to leave us and I then told him Pi [Mariana] should have a home whenever she wanted it with me that he was her natural friend and protector in the event of her leaving delta [Charles] and I looked to him for doing whatever he thought best he said her coming to me had never occurred to him I said I had been very anxious and unhappy about the business for it had instantly occurred to me that the whole world would say it had been a made up thing and that the moment my uncle died we had taken the opportunity etc etc Steph agreed and hoped she would stay with him for when a wife left her husband it always reflected in some degree on her family I said I knew he could not keep to his present good resolutions I would not interfere again and was sure she would not be a year with him I only hoped Steph would do what was right and not misunderstand me when I said I did not wish her to be too long with her mother and sisters he said he did not misunderstand me and seemed in no way surprised I explained this late business between his mother and me and said I would bring him when I next came to York the letter I held of his mother’s he bit his lip as if in deep disapprobation of this letter what Pi [Mariana] prevented my sending and a copy of my message etc etc saying I thought I had been altogether very scurvily used they said I ought not to speak yet my name had been brought in and perhaps after all Pi’s [Mariana’s] best security was in me tho I would pledge myself to nothing all I would say was that if Pi [Mariana] ever should live with me I would take care she had no occasion to go to a workhouse Miss Marsh had told me they said I was dissatisfied with my uncle’s will but that was indeed not the case how could it it was now in my power to make a will of the whole estate I observed Steph’s ah of surprise I know he would think of this and may be not on this account the less at ease in future as to Pi’s [Mariana’s] leaving delta [Charles] I said I had always wished to behave handsomely and should be obliged to him to point out anything he could find out in which I had done otherwise and I would explain it away or apologize adding for heavens sake let you and me continue friends if we can he hoped we should he had always thought me a zealous friend and prized my friendship exceedingly thought I had behaved very handsomely it was disagreeable to blame one’s mother but she had been injudicious in many things I said it could not be more disagreeable to him than it was to me all I wished was to justify myself to him I should soon be abroad and out of the way and I trusted to him to do what was right and best for us all what with one thing and another Pi [Mariana] and I had been very near breaking with each other of late I was ready to do it if she chose but I did not think she would thus be a gainer in happiness they had first blamed me for preventing her marrying then for making this match but I had done neither one nor other her father and sisters had made the match he always not knowing what would become of them they must get their bread etc etc they all anxiety for her to make so good a match and she was not happy at home but the match I always though ought not to have been it was mercenary and did not deserve to answer it was a mere legal prostitution and tho I would not prevent it would not mar what was deemed Pi’s [Mariana’s] interest I never did and never could approve or think it was right I knew Pi [Mariana] had done her duty to the utmost that she could but the match was too mercenary Steph said it was so more than he could have once thought I said my conduct had changed to Pi [Mariana] in appearance yes said he to be in fact more consistent yes said I better know the world now than formerly I know that it can say and think what never had foundation and I am more cautious I do not even like to meet Pi [Mariana] here 

[margin] told Steph the world had said much of me for which there was no foundation but that in fact his family Mrs Best and Miss Marsh had been the worst friends I ever had

well but said he I wish you would come this time if it be for ever so short a time I wish you would come I then said it was uncertain whether I could or not but if I could I would for one night I said I had told Lou all meaning as he understood about nearly breaking with Pi [Mariana] and about the misunderstanding with Mrs Belcombe and that Mrs Marsh and I had had some conversation on this last subject at Langton how she had flown up about it and it had only made me even more warm in my own opinion Steph was called away and we parted very good friends I had said the matter could not be made up between Mrs Belcombe and me he hoped otherwise I said no she was too pertinacious and I too proud I would not retract because in my conscious I thought Pi [Mariana] had been cajoled which he did not all attempt to deny - in my conversation with Harriett she was blaming delta [Charles] about not making a settlement I said I did not he had no money to spare at all rates Pi’s [Mariana’s] own mother was not the person who ought to blame him she told me not to name it to Steph for perhaps he did not know it but Lou had told her that Pi [Mariana] could not nor could Steph sign away their portion of their mother’s marriage settlement it was only their share of a thousand pounds left to Mrs Belcombe by their uncle Stephens and that if Steph could afford to give up his claim on the settlement it was all very well he might do it I smiled significantly and merely said I was glad to hear this we were entering their own affairs when Miss Marsh came she said their debt was not five thousand pounds not four I said she should lay her shoulder to the wheel and get out of it her exertions might do much she said Steph was very jealous about money matters thought does not quite seem to meet thought between them I think they mihgt perhaps manage each other better -

Miss Marsh sat a while with Mrs H.S. Belcombe and me, and then went with me and called on Mrs and Miss Stainforth - We called at Mrs Foulis’s in Landall but Miss Lucy Foulis was out, and Miss Marsh left her inquiries, and went with me to Parson’s where young Parsons cut and dressed my hair - in passing we called on Mrs Willey - not at home - then got to the Duffins about 4 40/60 - Dinner at 5 -

I had an extra glass of wine with Mr Duffin let Miss Duffin and Miss Greenup go pulled back Miss Marsh and made her and Mr Duffin laugh heartily at old stories perhaps they all fancied me rather exhilarated Miss Duffin stood next me against the table I unperceived was gently pinching her fingers she did not attempt to take them away nor did she at all shrink away when I as far as was safe leaned towards her she had told me in the morning Sophia had observed how Miss Marsh maneouvred not to let us be alone together Miss Duffin was to have come to the minster yard for me to walk but it rained a little she would gladly flirt with me I am not sorry we had no opportunity and I will be off or I shall be getting into some scrape again -

Mrs Anne and Miss Gage came to drink tea with us a little before 8 - we almost immediately sat down to shorts (whist) sixpenny points - I played incessantly with one or other till 11, having only lost 2/. - I had sent for a place in tonight’s mail - it being full took one in the new mail that leaves York at 7 1/2 a.m. Took leave of the Duffins - Went to Miss Marsh’s at 11 10/60 - Sat up talking to her till 1 10/60 - chiefly about her marriage going to Paris and Miss Duffin good enough Miss Duffin tells me all about Miss Marsh’s so trying to catch men for Sophia making out Miss Marsh and I dare say truly enough all she abuses Irish mothers for being my cousin came just before I went down to my uncle this morning - dullish morning threatening rain - gentle showers after 1, for the rest of the afternoon and evening -

Reference: SH:7/ML/E/9/0085 - SH:7/ML/E/9/0086

#anne lister #anne lister code breaker #gentleman jack #1826 #york #mariana lawton

[incoherentbabblings]

If there must be timsteph melodrama, they can't be the reason for it, as in, they can't be the reason for the hurt either one or both is going through. The beauty of tim and steph is they're an equal partnership, they're the voice of reason and the safe comfort for each other without being codependent. They're each other's life line in the darkness, they pull each other up into the light. Also? Open trust and healthy communication is a must.

Forgive me but you’ve set off a pet peeve of mine (not you... others) from people love to throw codependent around without understanding what it means and... at what point does: “where one person enables another person's addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or under-achievement” sound like those two? Mr and Mrs Fuck You Bruce I’m Robin Now? Really?

But here’s the thing: Tim and Steph do meet most of the requirements to fall into such a relationship on their worst of days (the investment of self-esteem in the ability to control both oneself and others in the face of serious adverse consequences, the assumption of responsibility for meeting others' needs to the exclusion of acknowledging one's own, the anxiety and boundary distortions around intimacy and separation, the excessive reliance on denial, the constriction of emotions (with or without dramatic outbursts), the depression and hypervigilance, the anxiety, the victim of recurrent physical or sexual abuse)... like okay.  Yup.  On their worst days.  

On their worst days, yup, the relationship has turned nasty because these factors have flared up at the same time in stressful circumstances.  But to imply that this means the relationship is codependent is just throwing around terms of serious relationship disorders because there’s a fictional ship that you don’t like (I mean, for starters, neither Tim nor Steph meet the criteria for Dependent Personality Disorder, which is the cornerstone of codependency, and another factor is that the pair cannot function without the other there...which we know is false. Both in and out of their relationships they have spent months not seeing or speaking to each other... and both of them were totally fine? They maybe missed the other but that’s what you’d expect from someone close to you?) I mean... autophobia (naw both of them spend plenty of time by themselves) ...unstable interpersonal relationships (Tim has many solid friends he can rely on, Steph has Leslie and Babs and Cass and Kara)... chronic feeling of boredom (urrr no) or victim mentality (they are literally defined by how they just keep going no matter what shit the world throws at them)... 

My point is... cracks in their relationship (to my eye) were externally created.  You leave Tim and Steph alone and nothing happens which is out of the norm for regular old relationships.  Maybe a lie here, maybe a moment of over controlling there... but honestly no relationship is flawless, and I don’t expect Tim and Steph to be flawless either.  They’re allowed to have flaws which negatively impact the other, and they are allowed to piss the other off sometimes too! To me that just shows what well rounded characters they are, and how well rounded their relationship is.

Within my fics I don’t have them lie to each other. Or at least if they do lie it isn’t for very long and when they do tell the truth it’s not the “YOU LIED TO ME” arguments which... wooft I’m not fond of. I hate miscommunication plot lines (liar revealed ones are the best example) because someone always fumbles the idiot ball and the other mumps and mopes and it always stops the story dead and is just a lazy way to sort out conflict.  

Here’s a (not) fun game - count how many storylines in recent (let’s say since 2000) comic storylines in the Batfam titles have revolved around a lie/liar in one way or another... There’s too gosh darn many... Please... stop lying all the goshdang time...

#dc #ask and i'll babble #timsteph #timsteph meta #LET ME HAVE COMPLEX CHARACTERS AND RELATIONSHIPS YO #preferably without the lying #Anonymous

[bigskydreaming]

Shoutout and censure to @themessofthecentury for the latest update to fault lines on account of how rudely impactful it was. Like, the whole fic has been great, but this chapter had those character beats and Steph’s raising of that one integral element of recovery that’s so relevant both to the recovery process AND what makes abuse so inherently different as a source of trauma than an assault from a stranger with no pre-existing dynamic.....

The fact that an extreme upheaval to one’s worldview, even if that worldview is rooted in misconceptions someone relied on to build a new framework to hang their sense of reality from when TRYING to cope with something like abuse or rape in the first place.....like, the mere act of undoing or correcting these misconceptions can be and usually is EXTREMELY TRAUMATIC in its own right, even if its completely necessary and aimed at undoing misconceptions that are actively hurting a person and causing continued self-harm. Because you’re upending structures of thought that a person is ON A CONSCIOUS LEVEL telling themselves they NEED in order to cope with what happened to them....and here that thing they NEED is being deliberately TAKEN AWAY AND DESTROYED.

That shit hurts. Even if its ultimately in the aim of helping. Its pretty much the essence of it ‘it gets worse before it gets better.’

Just like abuse itself, for example, is always a doubly-impacting trauma because its not just the harm done by a specific instance of mental, emotional, physical or sexual abuse...its that COUPLED with the implicit trauma every instance of abuse carries....in that its an emotional and mental attack on what we’re all constantly told by society is true, and should be a reassurance....that friends, family, loved ones, are SUPPOSED to be good for you, they’re not SUPPOSED to inflict harm on you, and yet for some reason, these ones here are, in defiance of what you’ve been led to believe and trust....meaning that in addition to the harm done by the actual abuse, you’re always simultaneously harmed by this assault on your very ability to put any trust in things you’re told should be true, as obviously there are exceptions in your case.

Course, this update also hurt like hell, because its so frustrating to see Steph get it, but still continue to NOT GET IT, because even with that held firmly in mind, she’s failing to grasp just HOW much this is of specific relevance in Dick’s case, because of all these things everyone’s matter of factly saying in the name of trying to help him....with zero idea of how many of them are continuing to wage all out assault on long held beliefs he’s come up with as coping mechanisms....because none of them have any clear view of the breadth and scope of the stuff all of this is bringing up for him. Because he has never told any of them, because as he flat out says to Steph, he CAN’T, because reliving through the retellings is actively hurting him every time he does it, and none of them have yet grasped just how much they’re expecting him to keep flaying himself open 24/7 to reveal the entirety of all this stuff he’s kept burying, any time they’re frustrated he’s still not being more forthcoming. 

At a certain point, the rest of them literally just have to start putting their heads together and reflecting in light of this newfound awareness....of just HOW many things Dick’s been involved in or has been present for, that SHOULD of course carry a large helping of trauma, and nobody’s ever touched on what this might mean for Dick, because so much of THEIR world views have been predicated on relying on him as a stable support system who will always be there for them, and upending that belief in order to scrutinize just how many times he’s desperately been in need of support and lacked it because he was being used as a source of it instead....THAT is inevitably a kind of traumatic upheaval of their own histories and ability to trust in longheld beliefs, so they’re slow in getting to the point of FULLY asking the right questions to the right people, because it simply is human nature that as a kind of defense mechanism, we do often instinctively shy away from learning or accepting truths that would cause that kind of upheaval to us, and thus carry with it a degree of that trauma.

But like....they started down this road, and its up to them to see it through, not leave off half-assed with all the hurt that’s caused Dick to relive but none of the recovery that can only result after continuing on past the part that hurts. Which unfortunately, is what too many fics and too many canon stories do, starting in the right direction but aborting when it gets too hard or uncomfortable for other characters, but without acknowledging that this is what they’re doing, and this is the inevitable consequence of that lack of followthrough.

Fortunately, the fic continues to do a good job of using the narrative to push back against the various unreliable narrators’ lack of all relevant information, so these instances where Steph and various others flat out don’t get that their well-intentioned words of advice are causing as much harm as help at certain points, like, these don’t come across as oversights so much as carefully planted seeds that will inevitably bear fallout fruit later down the line.

Ugh, lots of thoughts after this last update, I hardly know where to start.

YES I KNOW WHAT I JUST SAID THERE AND I MEANT IT, MAKE OF THAT WHAT YOU WILL, THE WORDS MEAN WHAT THEY MEAN NOW STEP OFF LIKE YOU’RE CHANNING TATUM AND I DIDN’T JUST REMEMBER THAT’S NOT ACTUALLY THE NAME OF THAT MOVIE.

#abuse cw

[dnp-and-blankets]

Love Lessons

TW: Abuse mention, Suicide mention, Abandoned, if theres any more pls let me know

3,441 words

Soulmate AU where you don’t realise who your soulmate is until they leave, and then you cry whenever they cry OR Phil is a sunflower happy new kid with a fascination for soulmates, Dan is an angsty, angry, artist who hate soulmates with a passion, ft Patrick Stump 

 "We can't take him" "Why not" "You can barely look after yourself, and are you forgetting we already have a child?" "He has no one!" "Chloe I swear to fuck" "You'd want Daniel to have somewhere to stay wouldn't you?" "It's not my fault the boy wasn't wanted!" "Would you want Daniel to be treated like this?" "He never will be in foster care" "What if something happens to us?" "My sister's ex bought us that house remember? Already furnished, for when Daniel wants to live on his own." "Philip never had that" I don't know what's going on. All I know is that Chloe equals food. And I really wants food. "He's only 4 years old!" "Pwease can I has some toast?" "Philip go to your room." "Chloe, you're not fit enough for this" "Miss Chloe, I'm really hungry" "Philip!" I go upstairs sniffling, and catch a glimpse of a little boy my age. He growls at me and throws a fox teddy. I pick the teddy up and name him Thomas.

                                                          ~*~

                  I'm very excited today. Today I start at a college that teaches soulmate lessons weekly. Today I start at a college in the town I'll hopefully spend more than a few weeks in. Today, I can finally start figuring out who my soulmate is.  I take a deep breath and look in the mirror. My quiff is being pressed down ever so slightly by a sunflower flower crown. My glasses hang lazily off my nose. I smile brightly at myself and glance at my outfit one more time- a yellow shirt, with the sleeves rolled up halfway up my arms, black jeans, odd socks, white trainers, and a light blue denim jacket- and went through my bedroom door. "Good luck at school Philip!" Stephanie's chirpy voice sang as I walked passed the kitchen. Me and Stephanie moved here to celebrate her second year of adopting me, and we decided homeschool just wasn't going to cut it anymore. I thanked her, grabbed my lunch money, college I.D, shoved Thomas into my pocket, and begun the walk to school. I kick leaves as I walk, and talk to birds that fly passed me. "Bords," I mutter under my breath as a flock flies over my head. I hear a snort behind me and turn to see someone with glasses similar to mine, and strawberry blonde hair. "Not typical behaviour for 17 year olds but carry on." He had an american accent. I was mesmerised, and he seemed to notice this, "I'm a transfer from Chicago, my 'rents moved here a couple months ago, but I'm just starting college now."

"I moved here last week." He smiled at this and hurried to walk the same pace as me. He was much shorter than me. "I'm Phil!"

"Patrick!" another voice yelled. It was an ever so slightly tanned boy, with brown hair that curls, and deep brown eyes surrounded in quite a bit of smudged eyeliner. He definitely slept in his makeup last night, and just reapplied this morning. "Big mood." He twirls to face me and sneers, "What?"

"Sorry, I was just-"

"This is Dan. He's angry. At everything, always. Don't take it personally," Patrick laughs, "want to walk with us?"

            We step into college laughing and wheezing, Dan had been talking about how useless giraffes were, and it was so surreal to see someone harbour so much rage for an animal they've never even seen. "I have English resit lessons first, what about you guys?" Patrick asks. "Love lessons," Dan rolls his eyes, the words laced with hatred, "yay." "Same!" I smile and follow him to the classroom. We stand outside the classroom door and he looks me up and down. I blush ever so slightly, feeling a bit too exposed for some reason. He nods to himself gently and then makes eye contact. "What are you taking?" "Soulmate Theory and Art," I declare, happy that I have a chance to show my enthusiasm, "what about yourself?" "Acting, and Art," he forces the words, seemingly biting his tongue, "why on Earth would you take Soulmate Theory? We're all literally forced to learn the basics once a week, why would you want to dedicate a years worth of college just to get a level 2 BTEC in something fake?" I ignore the fact that he just said soulmates were fake, and decide instead to question him on his logic, "You literally take acting," he smiles at this and we enter the classroom as the tutor greets us.

        "Good Morning everyone! We have a new student joining us today, would you like to like to introduce yourself?" The tutor had wavy blonde hair, and looking at her I.D, her name was Sharon. She seems very perky. "I'm Phil." Is all I manage to say before I notice Dan pulling stupid faces at me and I snort, breaking into laughter. Sharon looks at me in confusion and just lets me sit down. "Today we'll be touching on how much you need to know your soulmate before it counts when they leave," She says, writing a big question mark on the whiteboard, "and the answer is, to put it simply, not at all! They just need to enter your life, be it an accidental brush of the foot, they cough and it catches your attention, or even someone yells their name and you notice." "Sounds like this bullshit theory is grasping for straws. How many people actually find their soulmates after they've suposedly been crying for years?" I look up in shock at Dan's language towards a tutor. Sharon glares at him before answering, "It's not a large statistic, but sometimes people get lucky, and they witness someone crying at the same time as them multiple times, and then-" "Is there actual proof for this?" "Well, of course there's not lots, but we do know that people who never cry have reported crying just as their wife starts crying, and-" "This is such bullshit!" He yells, standing up and kicking his chair for dramatic effect. "As if you idiots teach a mandatory class on something you can't actually prove," the boy mutters before storming out.

       I sit down in my art class, still not fully over Dan's outburst from over an hour ago. He never returned to the classroom, and I didn't have much hope of seeing him in my art class either. "Phil?" The art tutor had sat himself next to me for some reason. My eyes flickered to his I.D, which said, "Mx Quinn" which confused me to an unknown extent. "I'm non-binary," they explained without missing a beat. They hand me a tissue and I take it slowly. I aimed to say, "What's this for?" but it came out in a sorrowful sob, and I realise with a shock that my soulmate must be crying somewhere. "I don't even know his name" I say sadly. Quinn's eyebrow raises but they seem to accept my queerness pretty quickly, not even questioning it. "When did you meet him?" "Steph says my social worker told her that I've been crying randomly since I was put into foster care, so it must have been pretty early on. And trust me when I say I've been in a lot of different foster homes, so I have no idea how to even begin tracking him down." "My soulmate is my wife, but she wasn't my wife until last year, so I wouldn't give up hope just yet" They pat my shoulder before turning and walking to their whiteboard. "Students!" They say with a clap. "Quinn!" A chorus of students clap in response.

     "Now that first term is over, and we've finished our Christmas break, I've decided to actually assign you work, instead of letting your imaginations run free. But don't worry, I won't be telling you what to draw, just hopefully giving you some inspiring prompts." The door swings open and Dan walks in, looking angry as per usual. He sits down next to me. "Today’s prompt, is Beauty, take it as you wish." Quinn claps once more and everyone begins moving. I take out my sketch book and my pencil, and start drawing a circle. I cover the remainder of the page in easy-to-remove sellotape, and then get my water paints out. Dark navys mix with  deep purples, and they both mix with magentas, and then are left to dry. Whilst waiting for it to dry, I remove the tape, and then look over at Dan's page. He's using white chalk on black paper. He's drawn the lines of multiple people, with one person in particular being coloured in white, whilst the rest are left uncoloured. This person is now being shaded around, to give them the appearance of glowing. "Is that your soulmate?" "No, they're even better" "Why?" "Because they exist" I raise my eyebrows at him, but don't question it. "Who is it?" "Does it matter?" "No, but-" "Then drop it."

         At the end of the class I have fully painted a little circle of galaxy, that's surrounded by vines and flowers and various other plants. "Plants killing the universe? Irony is beauty to you?" Quinn was stood over my desk "Nope," I smile, "I just really like plants and space!" "Stop," Dan chimes in, "we get it, you're a soft person." He sounds angry but he's smiling as he says it. I pack up my bags and leave the classroom. Why is he so angry all the time? I think about what could be upsetting him when Patrick grabs my arm. "Soulmate Thoery right?" I nod and we begin walking to class together.

                                                          ~*~

"Phil, stop crying, please" Kat begs, "David will be home soon. You mustn't be crying so much on your first day here." I sob in response. I'm not even sad. I don't know why I'm crying so much. "You don't want to end up back in the orphanage do you?" "I'm not sad," I plead, tears still streaming down my face, "I'm very happy I'm here!" "Then stop crying before David arrives." The front door swings open just as she says this, and a tall, dark eyed man enters the room. "Why does he cry?" He has a Russian accent. "Why does the small one cry? What happens to 9 year old that make them cry so much?" He seems to be getting angrier and angrier. "Phil please stop" Kat begs me. David raises his hand and yells, "Why do you cry?" "I don't know sir" "Bullshit!" He bellows, his hand coming down rapidly. I don't stop crying for a week. They send me back to the orphanage after two days. The crying doesn't stop. I go about my life, eating, playing games, reading, but for a week straight, my body is wracked with sobs.                                                               

                                                          ~*~

             I was 4 years old when I found myself in my first foster home. They kept me for two weeks, and then I was moved to a different home, because the mum was getting sad, or somet, and she could only handle one child, so naturally she kept her own, and not the foster kid. According to my social worker, I've been crying randomly ever since leaving the orphanage in that town. So that's the first place I decide to check. Soulmate Theory is a class dedicated to finding logic in soulmates, and the only reason I decided to take it is because it will provide resources for me to locate my own soulmate. "So, what do you think she will look like?" Patrick asks, hyped for me, as he already found his soulmate, sadly it was after he had moved to the UK, and Pete was still in Chicago. "Well, I hope he has curly hair, because curls are the cutest, and maybe he'll have glasses like me? I want him to have darker eyes than me, so maybe green," I pause for a second in thought, "Brown would be nice too" "tanned?" "kind of? I don't expect them to always be tanned but it'll be nice to have someone who can tan, unlike me." "what colour hair" "I'm naturally ginger, so not ginger or black, maybe blonde, or brown" "brown eyes, brown curly hair, can tan?" "Yeh?" "You mean, Dan Howell?" I choke and look away from my computer screen, eyes wide and aimed directly at Patrick. "No"

         I open a new tab and search for the orphanage I was sent to after my first foster home. I type in the year I was sent there. Patrick notices the town's name and asks if I'm for real. "Yes, why?" "That's Dan's home town," He winks, "Maybe he is your soulmate" "Dan could be my soulmate? Should I tell him?" "No, he doesn't believe in soulmates." "That's good, because I don't think I could spend the rest of my life with someone so negative." Patrick snorts and continues tapping away on his phone. I write down a list of people that were in the orphanage at the same time as me, and make a checklist. I'll message a different one every time I cry. I start stalking each of them online. Stephen, Karla, Bridge, Lucy- Bridge? "Trick, is Bridge a boy or a girl name?" "It's architecture" "It's someone on the list" "Just message them and see." Tears begin falling down my face. "Hey I didn't mean it like that, I'm sorry-" "This isn't me!" I smile widely and message someone called Chris, I read the message out loud as I type it, "Hey, I have reason to believe that you're my soulmate, are you crying right now?" They mustn't have any privacy settings on, because the response I receive is immediate, "nope, I'm not crying, and I got my soulmate pregnant last month, so unless this is Keighleigh messing with me, you're not my soulmate," I read it out to Patrick. "Who spells Kaylee like that?" "I know, it's supposed to be K a y l e i g h" "Incorrect" "We'll ask Dan on the walk home?" "Absolutely."

          I message four other people, but none of them are my soulmate. I finally stop crying around ten minutes before the tutor dismisses us, and I feel strange. This time it didn't feel full of emotion. It felt empty. "Hi nerds" "You look like a mess," Patrick chirps. And he's right. Dan's face is paler than usual, and his hair is messy. "No duh, I just did the final scene of the drama I've been writing, the scene where my dog dies and I scream and cry in the rain. Someone's been dumping water on me as I've forced tears, I'm obviously not gonna be looking glamorous." "You've been crying? That's so weird, because-" I glare at Patrick and he stops talking. "Phil's soulmate search hasn't been going too well" "That's cause she doesn't exist." "He," Patrick corrects him, and Dan's eyes widen a little bit. We start walking home and me and Patrick exchange worried glances at each other. "Dan, you never talk about your childhood" "What's there to talk about? My mum's gone, as is my dad, and I've been living on my own since I was 15" "What happened to your parents?" "Phil," Patrick warned me, clearly Dan doesn't talk about this very often. I apologise and we carry on walking. Patrick turns a corner and waves goodbye. Steph apparently lives pretty close to Dan. "Come over?" Dan asks. I smile and nod, maybe a little too eagerly.

                                                               ~*~

         "He's been crying since he was 4 years old, are you prepared to take on this child who has in fact lost contact with their, seemingly very emotional, soulmate?" "Of course. He needs stability. I've always been a fan of stability." I start crying. "Sweetie, I know you don't believe me, but-" "It's not me," I sniffle. She wraps her arms around me in a hug. "He needs someone who has dealt with soulmates." "As you wish. Although, He's 15, and met his soulmate over 10 years ago, so instead of helping him find her, I suggest you book him into a support group for lost soulmates" "I'll do as I please with my child." "Foster child" "Only for a few months. And then he's my child" "Whatever. Sign here." "Go and adventure, Philip, your room is top left." I hear muffled conversation as I close the front door. I finally have a forever home. Someone finally wants me. I could cry, but as per usual, I don't. I never cry. My soulmate cries enough without my tears adding to it. I've been bottling it up for years now. Instead, I smile. I wipe my mirroring tears and try desperately to let him know I care about him. But soulmates don't work like that.

                                                             ~*~

        "You live here?" My jaw drops, "It's awesome!" "My aunt's gave it to me when I was little. I didn't need to use it until a couple of years ago though." "why not?" "Because soulmates aren't real" He says with a shrug. "Who did you draw today?" "You" I splutter, "Me? Why?" "Isn't it obvious? You're beautiful Phil" "But- I mean, thank you- but you don't- soulmates- and-" "Just because love isn't real doesn't mean beauty isn't" My mouth forms an 'O' and that's all I manage to respond. "Why don't you like soulmates?" "Because they ruin people's lives" "Elaborate?" "When I was little, my mum would never shut up about soulmates, she would even tell the little kids we'd foster occasionally" I shot him a quizzical look,  "My mum was bipolar, so she'd foster whilst my dad was at work, and they'd get sent back as soon as my dad would come home. She obsessed over it ever since we tried to foster someone when I was little and my dad had decided it wasn't best for mum's health. Anyways, my mum was obsessed with soulmates. It's all she'd ever talk about, it's all she'd ever research, for days on end. But she killed herself when I was nine. And dad didn't get that warm feeling my mum always spoke about when you lost your soulmate. He didn't love her once he found out that they weren't soulmates. He didn't love me once he realised I was a mistake "He started hitting me, ranting about how he wasted his life with the wrong person. But he had loved her when she was alive, so clearly his love was false, because of the bullshit soulmate theory. My dad killed himself when I was 14, and I spent around 6 months in foster care before my Aunt Stephy contacted me and reminded me of the house she bought me when I was 4. So many people waste their lives looking for soulmates and 'true love' that they don't even look twice at anyone until they're crying. It's fucked up. And plus, I've never cried without meaning it. Ever. Everyone my age has met their soulmate by now. So what? Mine just doesn't exist? Mine doesn't have emotions?" He laughs pitifully.

            "Or maybe they just love you enough to hold back their tears." "What kind of bullshit excuse is that?" "Love isn't just somet you see on TV, Dan" "Yes it is," He yells, suddenly stood up and bearing his teeth, "Soulmates aren't real, relationships aren't real, none of it is fucking real!" "Dan-" "Get out of my house" "Dan, no, please just-" "I said get the fuck out!" "But," I whisper softly. "But what?" "I think you're my soulmate" And for the first time in over 13 years, I start crying, because of my emotions. As I look up, so is Dan. His face is of pure shock, and he doesn't seem to be properly crying, his tears are instead mirroring mine. My hand in my pocket squeezes Thomas ever so slightly. "What's in your pocket?" He tries to say, choking on my sobs, wiping his eyes furiously. I pull the stuffed fox out of my pocket and this time it's Dan's jaw that Drops. "It was you?" "Wait- you were-" "I knew I remembered those eyes" "Wait" "Philip!" "Daniel?" He launches himself at me and captures my lips in a kiss.

        Dan doesn't get over his fears of soulmates immediately. But he starts paying attention in Love Lessons, he starts asking more serious questions, he runs to me whenever he starts second guessing himself, he paints me in art, and most importantly, he doesn't cry as much anymore. I love Dan, I always have, and although he may not ever love me 100%, I know he'll always be with me.

#phan #phandom #dan and phil #dnp #dan howell #daniel howell #phil lester #philip lester #amazing phil #phanfiction #my writing #writing #soulmate AU #highschool AU #angsty #angsty dan #sunflower phil #art #non binary #patrick stump #tw suicide #tw abuse #orphan au #foster care au #3k words

[luckilyluculent]

2, 6, 7, 13, 17, 18; Eleanor: 31, 34, 39, 45; Felix: 26, 35, 40; Belsaadi: 36, 38, 43.

This is long as hell so all the answered questions are under the cut

EVERYBODY(as of 5/22/2018)’SQUESTIONS –

#2 – WHAT OC CHARACTER IS/HAS AMENTOR?

The first OC of mine that likedirectly leaps to mind whenever I see the word “mentor” is probably Henry Blake—he’s.One of the many unlisted and not directly on my blog, but his literalprofession is teaching and you don’t get more mentor-y than that! He’s alsotaken people under his wing before directly. Henry was also straight up made asan homage to my first ever like, thought out character (a warrior cat namedFicklestar lmao) and one of the more important things to the character he wasbased on was his role as mentor to a friend’s character. I wanted to keep thatprevalent in all iterations of this character, Henry is just the most recentreally (though he and Ficklestar aren’t even that similar rofl).

I’d also probably categorize myboy Malik as a mentor as well, seeing as he just sort of. Casually adoptseveryone and everything that he comes across. He would definitely like to thinkthat’s more of him just defecting to be a pack leader, but he spends so muchtime teaching others and trying to help them grow that I can’t help but want tolabel him as that. He’d make a great teacher if he wasn’t so busy trying tokeep all of his adopted children safe smh.

#6 – WHAT OC IS THE MOM FRIEND?

Funnily enough, I think thatlabel would go to my character Cat the most. Mostly because he’s the one thattends to take a position of responsibility and look after everyone. Likeliterally, he basically quietly sits back and watches most of the time. But he’salways there with an open ear or shoulder, and because he’s veryobservant/insightful he tends to notice when things are going wrong or ifsomeone needs help. Cat’s also got like, a super strong mama bear streak withthe people that he cares about and though he’s usually very calm, cool andcollected he gets real mad real fast when someone he loves is in trouble.

#7 – WHAT OC REALLY NEEDS THE MOMFRIEND AROUND?

I wanted to give this to Bels—I reallydid, but like I’ve realized that a huge part of Belsaadi’s character narrativeis that I wanted her to learn how to stand on her own. Not just with people,but sometimes in front of them and without them. So this took a little bit morethinking on my part, and I actually think I’m going to land on my character Eleanorfor that.

Eleanor is just very young andnaive! She was prone to making snap decisions that weren’t so great, andDamakos (who I am dubbing the mom friend of that party, sorry Tess) was oftenwho she looked to for guidance when she thought that she needed some. Eleanorneeded someone in general that filled a role of looking after her, and I’vetried playing her outside of her original party and it has just felt odd andincomplete. Maybe I can try again sometimes, but who knows.

#13 – WHICH OCS COMPLIMENT EACHOTHER THE BEST?

HM this is an interestingthought. I don’t often think of my characters as duos or as hanging out—out ofthe D&D squad I’d probably say that Eleanor and Belsaadi would make areally good compliment to one another. Eleanor has enough gentle warmth toreign in the times that Bels tends to dip toward more bloody and not-so-goodsolutions, she’d be very good for keeping Bels firmly “good” aligned to behonest and would be a good force for her to not only look after (and thusfinally take on some responsibility) but also to keep her mindset towardherself more healthy since Eleanor’s not afraid to call people out and steerthem gently into more positive thinking. Bels would be great for Eleanor inthat Bels would probably encourage her to try to consider people’s intentionsmore. She’d let Eleanor flourish in her positivity but would actually probablybe one of the few characters that would try to curb her naivety, using her ownexperiences to guide and steer her straight. So they’d both sort of guide oneanother, which would be lovely in its own way. Bels would also absolutely callEleanor out often on her choice of men, which is something Eleanor needed tbh.

As for the whole Delry crew(which is where the likes of Cat and Henry and Malik are popping up) I wouldlove, absolutely love to have my Jester and Flavius tear shit up together. Youtake my sassy magic-eating demon-boy and mix him with the swashbuckling rogueand I’m sure they’d have some really fun adventures together. They wouldn’tnecessarily compliment each other emotionally (if anything they’d get into alot of trouble together and Jester would aggravate Flav’s want to keep peopleat a playful arm’s length and Flav would aggravate Jester’s issue of notnecessarily caring about others if he doesn’t know them at all). Still! They’dbe a fun like, fighting team in any case. Their physical and magical abilitieswould compliment in fun ways, and I’d love to write it out sometime.

#17 – WHICH OCs DON’T KNOW EACHOTHER, BUT WOULD HATE ONE ANOTHER IF THEY DID?

…Bels would hate my characterStephanie. Steph was the first dnd character I had and lawful evil, and Belswould have just enough insight on her (Steph, even though she was a bard, hadmost of her stats in intelligence) to pick up on the fact that Steph was mostlytrying to manipulate everyone into liking her. That alone would drive Bels upthe wall, but Stephanie’s need to play dumb so consistently that she keepsinformation that could ultimately help others close to her chest unless itbenefits her would make Bels want to wring her neck. Steph wouldn’t care forBelsaadi because she’d call her out all the time, and that would make heruncomfortable and honestly just. Pissed off most of the time.

#18 – WHICH OCs WOULD MAKE THEWORST COUPLE?

[steeples fingers] I.

Huh.

…

Probably my character Gawain andEleanor. Gawain’s basically a paladin housing like 200 ancient evil spiritsinside of him (like Gawain himself would be fine, but not like… the one withthe fun ghosts in him) to protect his brother. He’d probably try to see how farhe could push Eleanor’s want to “save” him by doing truly awful things—first tostrangers, then to her family and the people around her. Eleanor wouldn’t stickaround for the whole thing, but she’d hold out faith for long enough to gethurt and it would… eugh. It’d be bad. Toxic, abusive. Not a good time.

ELEANOR QUESTIONS

# 31 – DOES OC HAVE SIBLINGS? DOTHEY GET ALONG IF THEY DO? DO THEY WISH THEY HAD SOME IF THEY DON’T?

Oh yeah! Eleanor’s the youngestof several siblings and she gets along really well with all of them. In fact,of all my characters Eleanor has the most healthy like, family relationship Iswear. She was using Sending to contact her parents regularly while adventuringon the road, and even sending letters and gifts to other members of her family.I’m fairly certain she’s on good terms with her extended family too tbh.

#34 – WHAT IS SOMETHING UNUSUALOC HAS BONDED WITH SOMEONE OVER?

Perhaps the oddest—and one of myfavorites—thing Eleanor ever did to bond with someone was to dangle off of Theo’sbicep to see how strong he was. This while wearing her full armor by the way.Also her entire friendship with Athrun in general? The fact that he talked inher head constantly when he was a warlock and she was just like “mmkay!” thewhole time basically? It was pretty wild.

#39 – WHO DOES THE OC CONSIDER TOHAVE LEARNED THEIR MOST IMPORTANT LIFE LESSON FROM?

Pelor—yeah she’s that kind ofcleric haha. Eleanor just wouldn’t be Eleanor without Pelor to guide her, it’ssuch a large part of who she is and what she does and what she views as goodthat I honestly can’t even really play her in a game that doesn’t include himin the pantheon. She’d probably follow that up with saying her father—he taughther that being kind was not always easy, it would often—in fact—be the hardestthing she could do, but to embrace her kindness because it was part of who shewas.

#40 – HOW MUCH DO OC’S FRIENDSKNOW ABOUT THEIR PRIVATE LIFE?

Eleanor is pretty open withpeople that she loves and cares about! She tends to tell those she trusts whenshe has a crush on someone, and has never been the sort that likes to lie. Shedoes, however, often hide when she’s not feeling happy or good about something—it’sher job to be the happy cheerful one after all! She’s their sunshine! Sometimesshe feels like she has to put aside her fears because of that.

FELIX QUESTIONS

#26 – DOES OC HAVE A HARD OR EASYTIME MAKING FRIENDS?

Well, considering that during aone shot Felix very warmly convinced two guards of the place we were sneakinginto that he was a recruit and ended up mopping the floors for a good portion ofthe boss battle—Felix makes friends very easily. Having a high charisma helps,but Felix is just a warm and friendly person in general. He rarely dislikespeople, and when he does he tries to see their point of view before stickingwith it. He’s pretty endearing too, even if he’s a bit of a dope.

#35 – WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANTRELATIONSHIP IN OC’S LIFE?

This is a little hard to say—currentlyI’d probably state his mother, though his friend Cass is edging up there to behonest. He’s always been supported and loved by her, and she did a lot for himwhen he was transitioning in just being a great loving force. She didn’t evenreally blame him for when the house burnt down in the end! He cares very muchabout her and wants her to stay safe, no matter where he is and what he ends updoing.

#40 – WHO MOTIVATES OC?

Is it odd to say himself? Felixisn’t a selfish boy by any means, but he believes in growing and learning andbeing the very best you can be! He doesn’t like to let things get him down forvery long, and is quick to motivate himself and push himself forward when hefeels he might end up in a slump. Though he can be sad or upset like manypeople and faces a lot of situations that make him worry, he wants to besomeone good and help people out!

BELSAADI’S QUESTIONS:

#36 – HOW HAS OC BEEN AFFECTED BYTHEIR FRIENDSHIPS?

Bels has changed so much as a character since she firststarted her journey—genuinely being loved and cared about by other people was ahuge factor in that. Bels actually kind of cares about herself now? Which isutterly wild to me. She cares abouther future, and what she does. She doesn’t want to throw her life away but livefor the people that she loves and cares about—and for herself. Which is huge. Bels started out filled to thebrim with self-loathing, half certain that the reason she was abandoned andtreated how she was was her fault. She’s grown in confidence since then, butalso in the person that she is. She’s not just someone who can turn into a bearnow, she knows her own flaws but she’s aware of her strengths too (and not justthe physical ones).

Also, god can I talk about whatwould have happened if Rowan died? She loved Rowan, Belsaadi adored Rowan. It’sthe strongest example of platonic love I have literally ever written in mywhole life. I love them and their relationship to pieces, and for a long timeif Rowan died Bels would have just. Stopped. I couldn’t imagine her withoutRowan at all.

And then I thought, but Rowanwould not like that.

And then Bels started thinking Rowan would not like that. Bels lost a lot ofpeople on her adventures—first Darth, her sort of adopted brother Meero andeven her very first friend Nilus. Rowan was the last of the main party still left with Bels, and I knew losing herwould break her heart—but it wouldn’t make Bels break herself. Or breakentirely. Or just stop trying. Because Bels lost so much she finally learned what it meant to lose people you loved.

She learned that you need to keepliving and carrying on the pieces of them with you. You try to be cautious likeDarth, but sometimes you’re reckless like Meero, you laugh like Nilus whenthings seem darkest. She learned that you’re all at once the people you loveand your own self, and that she—Belsaadi—deserved to live even if she lost itall. That she could get sad, get angry, but she could never let it poison her. Because ultimately what all thosepeople, the people that loved her, would want is for her to keep livinghappily.

Anyway. So yeah, she changed alot. My Bels, I was proud of her by the time that campaign couldn’t continue,even if we never reached the full end of her story.

#38 – HOW HAS OC BEEN AFFECTED BYTHEIR ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP(S) OR LACK THEREOF?

Ah. I talk a lot about howBelsaadi falls in love easily—far easier than any of my other characters. I don’toften consider that trait a flaw, but when you go to the extent that Bels did thenI definitely do. Belsaadi was so, sodesperate for love. Even after she got it she was always clawing for it ineverything she needed—and Bels, she had a lot of love to give, but she was desperate. And that was a character flaw. Bels had a lot ofromantic relationships that were either barely touched or regrets that shenever acted on. It made her very prone to leaping headfirst into it. She lovedthe idea of love.

#43 – HOW DOES OC MEET MOSTPEOPLE?

Lately? In moments where shefeels like her life is on the line unfortunately. Or when someone else’s lifeis on the line. Whether she’s stepping through portals to answer misguidedcalls for help or if she’s trying to keep herself and her friends alive—a lotof her adventure has been GO GO GO. There haven’t been many lasting friendsthat she’s made where she was feeling something below the level of EXTREMESTRESS. Guess that’s what you get for trying to save the world.

#long post #asks #ocs #d&d #dnd #beingatoaster

[meditatemoremedicateless]

Frank, Rachel, and how BtS becomes LiS

All right. Ever since Before the Storm Episode 2 came out, I’ve seen a lot of discussion about Rachel and how what we’re seeing doesn’t seem to match up to the information available to us three years later. I thought I would take a crack at it, as well as address some of the questions I saw in posts like this one by @ramenfallsbutnotudon. Let’s start with the most common issues:

1. When does Rachel meet Frank? 2. When does Rachel’s relationship with Frank begin? 3. Rachel in BtS seems... decently normal. And she has plenty of money. Where does the drug dealing come in? 4. What is going on with Nathan right now? Is Samantha going to be okay?

1) More than likely, Rachel and Frank already know each other before the start of Before the Storm, Episode 1. When the skeevy guys try to follow Rachel and Chloe from the second floor, Frank watches the two of them, then notices the guys, then intervenes so they can escape. Then, Rachel blows him a kiss before dragging Chloe into the mosh pit. While it could certainly be claimed that he was protecting Chloe just because she’s a client and a kid, I don’t think he’d want to interfere with Damon’s boys unless he had a bigger stake in it. Him knowing Sera and Rachel and banging the former makes this far more reasonable.

2 & 3) Something important to note about BtS is that it is almost exactly three years before Rachel’s disappearance. Things are going to change significantly in that time. One important detail that people seem to have forgotten is that Chloe and Rachel don’t successfully run away - no matter how much they want to, they stay trapped in Arcadia Bay. While the exhilaration of their relationship now is certainly a high, we know things get worse - Frank calls Chloe out for drug addiction in Episode 4 of LiS, and Rachel stays conscious after being drugged with 5g of GHB due to drug tolerance. 

As they both into deeper depressions, they both start using Frank for access to drugs - after all, Chloe is sure to introduce them if they haven’t met, and Frank just lost his best drug runner at Blackwell (Drew North). While sooner or later he’ll be replaced by Stella (both kids attending via scholarship who are otherwise living in poverty and need to support their families), in the meantime, it would be easy enough for Rachel to start hitting Frank up. She might be looking for access to drugs, a way to escape town (she eventually becomes so desperate she asks a trucker who eats at the Two Whales), or answers about her mom, but eventually, this proximity turns into a relationship. Not the sort of relationship you can tell anyone about, mind you - Frank’s a good 10 years older than her, a drug dealer (and her dad’s the DA), and was potentially fucking her mother.

Now, Rachel doesn’t need the money from dealing to get through school or anything, but what she DOES need money for is escaping Arcadia Bay (with Chloe, on her own, or whatever). She’s charismatic, has access to the Vortex Club, a student nobody would suspect and even less would be willing to investigate - she’s perfect for starting up a new market with the rich kids alongside her in the arts programs, like Nathan, Victoria, Taylor, Hayden, Juliet, Dana, and their ilk. You know, the emerging Vortex Club. After all, with what we know about the Vortex Club in 2010, it seems strange that it morphs into its mirror opposite in such a short time - from an anti-bullying, community service organization to a party zone for spoiled kids, funded by Sean Prescott?

4) So no, I don’t think Nathan kills Samantha. Why? For two reasons. First of all, the binders in Episode 4 do not include a Sam or Samantha. Secondly, he doesn’t include her in the list of people he’s sorry for hurting in Episode 5. Rather, it appears that she drops out of Blackwell because in the 2011-2012 school year, Blackwell converts to a seniors-only, two-year college prep institution - the year in which Samantha is a junior. While she could potentially re-apply, it does not appear that she does. It’s worth noting that both of Nathan’s murders are completely accidental - the GHB overdose happened when Nathan was likely panicked, considering how angry Rachel was while she was conscious, and Nathan doesn’t seem to have intended on killing Chloe, either.

So Samantha is likely fine. Seeing as the science programs at Blackwell don’t seem to receive any large donations from 2010-2013, she probably just stayed in school wherever she attended her junior year.

So, what other questions are there? I’ll go over these more briefly.

5. Why does David end up using surveillance on his family? 6. Where is Mr. Jefferson? 7. How does Chloe get expelled if not by sticking up for Rachel? 8. How does so much of the drama department end up in photography? 9. Why is the raven communicating with Chloe and why doesn’t she ever mention this to Max? 10. Is everything Rachel’s fault?

5) David enters the home with the stated goal of disciplining Chloe after she is suspended or expelled from school. As we know he will soon get a job, he probably concludes the only way he can keep tabs on Chloe is by watching her at all times. He does this in two ways: first with the cameras in the home, and second by GPS tracking her truck. He’s an abusive asshole who believes he has been given a mission in controlling Chloe’s life as a sort of exchange with Joyce. It’s fucked up but also fairly straightforward.

6) Mr. Jefferson does not join the school until the 2012-2013 school year - this is evidenced by a note I think we find in Episode 4 in the Alternate Timeline, stating that he was first given the opportunity to come teach in 2010 (the year Sean gave that big grant to the school), but was working with Vogue, so he joined in the 2012-2013 school year instead. Nathan probably met him soon before he entered the academy, and Jefferson manipulated him by recognizing Nathan’s broken relationship with his father.

It’s also worth noting that Jefferson is almost exactly what Rachel wants - validation and trust with an older man as well as the freedom to explore the world. Jefferson is a neatly wrapped package that neither Chloe nor Frank can completely give her, and Jefferson can do that while also boosting her career.

7) Chloe’s student file notes two significant issues - her incredibly poor attendance and graffiti. Considering what she does to the bathroom in Episode 2, it would be little surprise if she got expelled while suspended. Otherwise, she’ll just continue to ditch classes upon returning and marking up the place when she bothers to come (as she resents the place even more - David gets a job there, after all), and she’ll be kicked out sooner or later.

8) So, Dana, Hayden, Juliet, Victoria, Nathan, Rachel, and Steph are all involved in the arts program. Just as Max had multiple labs every week (Music, Photography, Science, Media Studies), they have Drama Lab. Of course, this is optional (Taylor isn’t there, nor is Alyssa), but the fact that they are ALL sophomores should tip you off to the fact that The Tempest is basically a final for a lab at the sophomore level.

Then, a famous celebrity is going to show up and teach photography. Why wouldn’t they sign up if they have any interest in photography, exactly?

9) So, as for why the raven is communicating with Chloe, I actually have a whole theory for that that you can find here. As for why she doesn’t mention it to Max? I honestly don’t know. I think that’s weird too. BtS may be an AU of Life is Strange, or she may come to the ultimate conclusion that it was her subconscious working out problems on its own. Or some spooky witch shit might happen, but that seems unlikely.

10) No. Unless you’re talking about the Vortex Club, in which case that is hers, Nathan’s, and Victoria’s combined efforts to absolutely nuke its worth to society. But she’s not responsible for her own death, she’s not responsible for Chloe’s depression and suicide ideation, she’s not responsible for Nathan’s manipulation under Nathan, she’s not responsible for all that much. She’s just, by nature of being involved in people’s lives, proximal to these things. In the case of Chloe, she’s probably the only reason Chloe survives long enough to die at the hands of Nathan, anyway (or long enough to kill Frank, y’know, there are options there).

#life is strange #before the storm #before the storm spoilers #theorycrafting i guess #rachel amber #chloe price #frank bowers #nathan prescott #samantha myers #vortex club

[secretlystephaniebrown]

The Hardest Part is Over

Sometimes the hardest thing is to trust.

OR

Stephanie Brown comes out when Bruce Wayne offers her Robin. It’s time for Robin to be a girl. 

A long, long time ago, I wrote a fic called These Twists and Turns of Fate. It was a long, detailed process, and the fic I wrote in that time was something I’m still proud of. But I always wanted to write another story; one where Stephanie Brown gets to stay Robin in that universe. 

And when @insidiousmisandry​ suggested I write some Robin Steph, I confessed to this AU, and recieved plenty of encouragement to return. It’s been over three years since I posted the original. Let’s see if I’ve still got it, huh?

Special thanks to @blackstarfires​ for consulting on this, and @sroloc--elbisivni​ for beta-ing. 

Warnings for: Dysphoria, homophobia and transphobia, child abuse, and panic attacks. 

Also on Ao3

Some people say that the path that we have taken is concrete and can never be changed.

This is, in the plainest of terms, complete and utter bullshit.

One story goes like this; Stephanie Brown is Robin for a short time, and never as herself. She dies as Spoiler and comes back to Gotham as Stephanie Brown.

But this is not that story.

This is the story of Stephanie Brown, the first girl Robin, in a world where she does not die.

It starts, like most things do, with a mother.

Crystal Brown has a baby girl and names her Arthur Brown Junior. The girl names herself Stephanie Brown.

In one universe, Crystal learns about this from a woman named Leslie.

In this universe, she learns it from her daughter.

The smallest of changes can have enormous effects. In one universe, Stephanie Brown’s path as Robin is short and brutal and tainted with the heaviness and pain.

Crystal Brown begins the process of avoiding that tale when she looks up at her child and mentions a woman named Marcie.

Steph’s breath catches in her chest. “Marcie?” She repeats, voice unsteady.

“She lived above us when you were younger,” Crystal says. Her eyes are clear and sober, her voice steady and kind as she reminisces. She doesn’t notice the way that Steph clings to the kitchen counter, the way her breath stutters in her chest in a staccato rhythm, verging on panic. “I’m sure you don’t remember her.”

Steph remembers Marcie; she can never forget Marcie. Marcie, with her beautiful deep voice and her sad eyes and those words of wisdom and importance that Steph has held so, so close to her chest and never quite let go of, even in her darkest moments. Marcie, an inextricable, ever so important part of her life, and one that Steph has never acknowledged out loud, has never admitted to anyone, because Marcie is hers, secret and hidden and safe.

“She’s in the paper today,” Crystal continues, not seeing Steph in this moment, not looking at her. “A lovely piece. She’s got a dance school now.” Crystal closes the newspaper. “Good for her. After all that she went through when she was transitioning, I’m glad she’s found herself.”

And just like that, with her mother’s acknowledgement of who Marcie is, that Marcie is not just a girl that they’d once knew, but that Marcie is trans, that Marcie is like Steph, Steph crumples against the counter.

When Steph falls apart, it is like a dam bursting open. Her tears flood the room, her sobs drowning out anything else her mother might be saying as her knees buckle and she collapses against the counter. Her hands go to her face, trying to stem the tide, but there is nothing she can do, because her mother has, without even knowing it, indicated, for the first time in her life, that she might support Steph in this. In her life, in her struggles.

Stephanie Brown has been alone for such a long, long time, and in this moment, for the first time, she does not feel that way.

“Art?” Her mother is panicked, is fearful, because she can’t tell that these are tears of joy. She can’t see the lightness in Steph’s chest, the slightest smile curving her mouth even as she cries. “Art, what is it? What’s wrong?”

Stephanie Brown opens her mouth and looks at her mother and reaches out and pulls her into a tight hug, burying her face in the fabric of her mother’s shirt.

There is no decision. There is no deliberation. The dam has burst and with it goes Stephanie’s self control and her fear and everything. It has all been swept away and destroyed.

“I remember Marcie,” she finally says, when her voice is under control and the tears have stopped flowing freely. “I… I remember her.”

“Oh!” Crystal tries to look relieved, but she can tell there is something deeper, darker, more complicated here. She reaches up and caresses Steph’s cheek, trying to brush away the tears that cling there. “I’m sorry, you just… you were so young when she moved away.”

“She was beat up by Dad and his friends,” Steph whispers. “Because she was trans.”

Crystal hesitates, but nods. “Yes.”

“I—I knew why he did it,” Steph says. Her instincts scream at her to run. This is too much, too fast, too real. But she is rooted to the spot, held tightly in place. “And it… it made me scared.”

“Sweetheart,” Crystal breathes.

“Because I’m like her,” Steph blurts out, cutting off whatever it is that Crystal will say next. “I’m—I’m a girl Mom. My name is Steph and I’m a girl and—”

It is her turn to be cut off as Crystal envelopes her in a hug. It’s almost suffocatingly tight, but Steph clings back but refuses to relax, because a hug can mean anything, a hug doesn’t mean—

“Oh! Oh my god, I’m sorry, darling, I’m sorry, I never—I love you so much.” She pulls back and her eyes are as wet as Steph’s, and she touches her cheek again. “My baby girl,” she whispers, almost reverently. “My Stephanie.”

And Steph begins to cry again, big, heaving sobs that shake her entire body and send her tumbling to her knees, towards the floor. And Crystal goes with her, wrapping her arms around her daughter, whispering apologies over and over again and declarations and promises, and, most importantly of all, her daughter’s name.

Stephanie takes every single utterance of those syllables and wraps them around herself like a cloak, like a talisman, like protection. Her identity, her mother’s love, they are all tied together, and she feels, for the first time in a very long time, that she can breathe again without fear, that she might not fall apart at the very seams of herself.

She puts on her Spoiler cloak that night and races across the rooftops by herself, and laughter bursts out of her lungs, a pure and joyful noise that sweeps her into the darkness of Gotham.

But no matter how much things change, some things must remain the same.

Tim Drake’s secret is discovered by his father, and it is one secret too many. Secret boyfriends and crime fighting—and the knowledge that Robin, his son, is dating Superboy as well as that ragtag, longhaired “boy” from the edge of Gotham is all too much for that man. He grounds his son, bans him from being Robin, and leaves Gotham without an important role filled.

Batman needs a Robin. This is a fact of the universe. He needs a Robin.

The role of Robin is balance in many ways. It is a partnership of banter and late nights, of reminders of who they are and who they should be. It is inspiration and kindness and light, balancing each other out and finding a dynamic that is… dynamic.

It is only natural, in many ways, that Bruce Wayne would extend the offer to Stephanie Brown when she stumbles into the Bat Cave, giddy that her codes work, intoxicated by the fact that her mother had called her by her real name before she crawled out the window that night, and generally radiating light and joy.

“Arthur,” Bruce says, and even that can’t dim the knowledge that her mom knows and loves her anyway.

She doesn’t protest the use of the full name, even though she hates it, even though it reminds her terribly of her father, and instead bounces on the balls of her feet, and grins. “Hey boss-man! So, I hear Timmy’s out of the game for now, so I was wondering if I could, like, start patrolling with Cass again, since she’s gonna be partnerless?”

He looks at her, and he sees someone determined to the point far past stubbornness, someone kind with a core of steel. Not a naturally gifted fighter, but there is always something to be said for not understanding the concept of staying down, of giving up.

He looks at her, and he sees Robin.

He offers her Robin, and the entire world grinds to a halt.

Every child in Gotham City has dreamed of being Robin. Every child dreams of donning the cape and mask, of being Batman’s partner. Robin is a Teen Titan, a member of Young Justice, Batman’s partner, the people’s friend, a force for good.

And Stephanie’s thoughts grind to a halt there.

Because Robin is a boy.

And…

Stephanie Brown is not out by any meaning of the word to anyone but her mother, and Marcie, who probably has not spared her a single thought since that day on the playground. But…

Steph doesn’t know if she can do this.

Here we encounter another ripple in the fabric of reality. In this universe, Bruce Wayne funds a scholarship for LGBT students at Gotham University, and Vicki Vale does an expose on it that hits the front page.

He funds it in another, sadder story as well. But it does not make the front page, and Stephanie Brown never sees it, and Crystal Brown never thinks to point it out to her daughter.

But in this world, she did, and Stephanie Brown stares at Bruce Wayne, and her mother’s support and that knowledge make her brave enough to do something she’d never have imagined doing before.

She shakes her head.

“I—I can’t.”

Bruce frowns, prompting a further response. He can’t understand; he knows this child in front of him, knows the desire to belong, to be a part of something, to help, even if he doesn’t always agree with the methods, and has occasionally suspected otherwise.

She swallows, gulping for air like a drowning woman, and finally blurts out. “Robin’s a boy. I’m not. I’m a girl.” She throws out those last words like batarangs, as if expecting them to soar through the air and cut him, as if expecting him to recoil and then counterattack.

Bruce glances at the Robin costume he is still holding out. “I don’t see why Robin can’t be a girl.”

Bruce Wayne, as it is fairly well known, does not handle emotions well. So when Stephanie Brown, future Robin, bursts into tears in the middle of the cave, he proceeds to awkwardly retreat several steps, set down the Robin costume, call Alfred, pat her on the back awkwardly, before he finally manages to suggest they go upstairs to continue this conversation.

Stephanie follows him upstairs. Alfred makes a pot of tea, places a plate of cookies on the kitchen table between the two of them, and then makes a strategic retreat, forcing Bruce to deal with this situation entirely on his own.

The situation is less than comfortable for Steph as well as Bruce. Bruce Wayne is strange and foreign and confusing to her; she never knows what he wants from her, she never knows how he will react to anything. This kindness so far is unexpected, and she’s not sure how long it will last.

“Arthur…” Bruce stops, and then frowns. “Do you prefer a different name?”

“Stephanie,” she says, her heart racing in her ears. “Steph.”

“Stephanie,” he says, and it’s like music. Three whole people now have called her by that name, outside of her own head. Renee Montoya, her mother, and now Bruce Wayne. He taps his fingers on the table, and she realizes, with shock, that he is nervous. She’s never seen him nervous before. He is always impassive and scary and occasionally a total dork, but never nervous. And suddenly, she realizes that he wants to do this right, and something in her chest loosens just a little.

“How… how would you like to handle this?” He asks.

Steph looks up, confused. “Handle what?”

He frowns at her, as if confused by her having to ask. “Transitioning.”

She gapes at him.

Transitioning is nothing but the most distant of dreams for her. Her father and money are two terrifying obstacles.

But she thinks about not hating the image she sees in the mirror every day, and her heart aches just a little, thinking about the possibility.

“I… I don’t know,” she says, fidgeting in her seat, playing with the mug that Alfred had given her. “I—my dad—”

Bruce nods, considering. “Transitioning might be… difficult. Increasing your estrogen could threaten your physical regimen. We can work around it, of course, but it will take some considerations.” She thinks that if he had a notepad nearby, he would be taking notes, the look of concentration on his face is so fierce.

“I—”

“I believe Leslie would be willing to help,” he says thoughtfully, taking a sip from his own mug. “She’s had some experience with this.”

“Stop,” Steph blurts out, eyes wide. “You mean… you still want me to be Robin?”

He looks at her, looking slightly bewildered. “Of course,” he says, simple and easy, as if he hasn’t just overturned everything in Steph’s entire world. “I’ll help with the costs, of course,” he adds, and Steph doesn’t even hesitate, just throws her arms around him and hugs him tightly.

“Thank you,” she whispers. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

He awkwardly pats her on the back, and in that moment Stephanie Brown realizes that Bruce Wayne, also known as the Batman, the terror of Gotham City, is a gigantic loser.

He places a Robin badge in her hand. It’s small and black and circular, with the bright yellow R emblazoned on it proudly.

“If you want,” he says, “Jason Blood enchanted this. It will allow you to alter your appearance while you’re Robin.”

Steph stares at him, gaping. Suddenly, the badge seems like the most precious thing in the entire world.

“I understand you’re only just starting your regimen,” he says. “But… I believe this might help with the dysphoria you mentioned.”

Steph wants to hug him again, but she holds herself back. Bruce Wayne, she is slowly discovering, is awkward at the best of times, and human contact baffles him. Steph is tactile by nature, but she’s trying to adjust. This is the best thing that’s ever happened to her, and she refuses to jeopardize it. “How… how do I use it?” She asks, staring down at it.

“We’ll stop by Jason’s on patrol tonight,” he says. “He’ll show you. His friend Sir Ysin is there as well. You might… talking with him might be interesting for you.”

Steph nods, not understanding. She knows about Jason Blood, Gotham’s local magic user, but Sir Ysin is completely unknown to her. But if Bruce thinks she’ll benefit from talking to him, well, it probably won’t be that bad.

She’s still patrolling with Bruce as Spoiler, as they work out the details of her costume and training, as well as the changes to her exercise routine and diet to try to compensate for the hormones she’s now taking. She’s itching to try on the outfit they’re designing; every inch of it feels more professional than her own Spoiler outfit, even if this one was designed by Babs instead of sewed by Steph herself. But even more importantly, the Robin costume is designed for a girl. She’s practically shaking with excitement whenever she thinks about it.

Robin, the Girl Wonder.

That’s her, that’s who she’ll be.

He pours her another cup of tea and she drinks. This is becoming routine, she thinks. Tea before patrol with Batman. It’s a quiet moment of contemplation before the chaos of the night. Just the two of them right now, with Cass out of town, but Steph wonders if things will change, when she returns. Maybe she’ll join them? Steph doesn’t know if Cass likes tea.

“Your hair,” he says suddenly, and Steph looks up suddenly.

“What about it?” She asks, fingering it. She’s got it in a ponytail, like she always does when she’s Spoiler, and then keeps it under her hood. She’s tried various things with it; sprays and pins and even tucking it into her costume, but the ponytail is the easiest way to handle things.

He frowns. “It’s a handhold. It could prove to be a problem.”

“I can’t cut it,” Steph blurts out, blanching at the idea of it.

He looks frustrated. “I know,” he says. “But we need to…” he trails off thoughtfully. “Hmm.”

“Barbara wore her hair long,” Steph blurts out. “Black Canary too.”

Bruce nods. “You’ll have to wear it loose,” he cautions.

Steph nods enthusiastically. “Okay,” she says.

When she comes back to the Manor the next day, after a long conversation with Sir Ysin about glamor magic for gender presentation and with her Robin’s badge calibrated to her appearance, she finds a bright red headband lying on top of her completed Robin uniform.

“To keep it out of your face,” Bruce says when she looks up at him.

Steph hugs him again, a giddy, light feeling building in her chest that only grows as she puts on the red tunic, the green leggings, the black cape. Red headband, yellow belt, the badge on her chest. The darkness, the long hair, the padding in her tunic already do most of the work for the badge. From a distance, in the dark, she already passes. Steph has worked hard on the badge’s illusion, carefully making sure that there’s no trace of shadow, that her jawline’s just a little softer.

She looks into the mirror and she sees Robin, and there’s no unease in her stomach. Maybe she doesn’t look like she wished she had as a child, but she’s Robin. She’s Stephanie Brown and she’s Robin, and that’s worth almost anything in the entire world.

Bruce sets a hand on her shoulder, warm and comforting, and she beams up at him, her smile so wide that she thinks her face might split in two.

“Are you ready, Robin?” He asks her, and Steph laughs, loud and cheerful and shameless.

“You know it!” She says, following him to the Batmobile with a spring in her step.

“You’re Robin!” Cass greets Steph eagerly when she comes home from patrol. How Cass got into her apartment, she’s not sure, but she’s waiting for her, looking tired but none the worse for wear after her own patrol. Cass’s mask is still on, but that does nothing to hide the enthusiasm with which she tackles Steph to the ground. “You’re Robin!”

“I am!” Steph laughs, hugging her best friend tightly.

“Happy for you,” Cass says, finally letting Steph sit up. “You… deserve this. Art.” Cass smiles at her.

“Oh!” Steph says. “I guess you haven’t heard?” Her heart races slightly in her chest. Another one, another risk, another time to have to tell someone.

Cass tilts her head in one of the silent but very evocative gestures she’s so good at. Steph thinks Cass could tell an entire story with a head tilt.

“My name is Steph now,” Steph says. “I’m… I’m a girl.”

Cass tries it out. “St-eph,” she repeats slowly.

“It’s short for Stephanie,” Steph says. “Like Cass is short for Cassandra.”

“Steph-an-ee,” Cass says again, as if she’s tasting it. She takes off her mask and smiles at Steph. Her smile is wide and honest and quite possibly one of the best things that Steph has ever seen. “It’s… good.”

Steph grins, trying to act as if there isn’t the strange feeling in her stomach that always happens when she’s worried about something and it doesn’t happen. Cass, she was sure of. Cass was never a risk. But it’s still so wonderful.

“Steph,” Cass hums again, thoughtful. Her dark brown eyes flick over Steph’s body, categorizing her every twitch. Steph wonders what she sees. “Names are… important? Being a girl… is important?”

“Very,” Steph says, then fights back a yawn. “I’ll explain more later, if that’s okay?”

Cass snickers. “You’re sleepy,” she says, both teasing and accusing. Then she picks Steph up bodily and dumps her in her bed. Steph yelps at the indignity, and tries to protest being thrown into bed while still wearing her full costume, including her boots, but Cass doesn’t seem bothered at all. She pecks Steph on the forehead briefly before putting her mask back on. “I’ll go now. Good morning!”

Then she opens Steph’s window again and vanishes into the first traces of dawn, leaving Steph alone in her room with a light heart and heavy eyelids.

“Stephanie,” Bruce’s voice is calm and steadying. It grounds her, even as the room feels like it’s spinning around her.

“He knows,” Steph blurts out. “My dad he—he knows. Tim’s dad—he—he—visited and he said he talked to him and—”

“Stephanie,” Bruce says, and her name, urgent and earnest and in the voice that is Bruce, not Batman helps her breathe again. “Can you get here? I’ll make sure your mother gets to the manor, but can you get here yourself or should I send Cassandra?”

Steph stares down at her hands.

“He says Tim can be Robin again,” she hears her own voice say, distant and far away. “He says he’s not going to stop him anymore.”

“We can discuss this when you’re safe,” Bruce says. “I haven’t heard from Tim.” He pauses, then says urgently. “Robin. Get back to the Cave.”

Steph nods jerkily, realizing that he can’t see her, but not saying anything. “Oh! The… the plans?”

“Bring those,” he says. “But get out of there now.”  

Steph has a go bag—she’s had one for years now. But it won’t do for a situation like this.  She grabs her Robin costume and stuffs it in there, snatches up anything that might be sensitive, that might give her father a clue where she’s going, and throws it all in haphazardly. The bag that results is too bulky and doesn’t contain the things she wants to bring; not her books or little treasures. But there’s no sign of her transition or job as a superhero here, and that’s what matters. Her father knows she’s gay, know she dates guys, but he does not know her to be a girl.

She snatches photos off her desk, shoves them in on top of things. Faces, faces, she can’t have him knowing the faces of people in her lives, even if most of them are harmless. She has no photos with Tim, and only one with Cass. But she can’t risk it. He might go after people in her life.

She has been scared of Arthur Brown as long as she can remember; he has ruled over her life, even in his moments of kindness. He is a tyrant, a locked closet, a black eye, and a cruel laugh. He can find her anywhere she runs, he always used to tell her that.

But he can’t find her if Batman’s protecting her. She whispers that to herself, like a talisman. She’s Robin. He can’t touch Robin. Bruce will protect her, Bruce will hide her.

She’s not that scared little girl locked in a closet anymore. She can fight back.

Or at least, that’s what she tries to tell herself as she barely remembers to snatch up the sleek black USB drive from her desk and holds it in her hand as she bolts for the front door, her cell phone in her other hand.

She collides with Jack Drake on her way out, and she draws herself up to a halt.

“Mr. Drake,” she says. Her tongue is clumsy in her mouth. “Can I help you?”

He frowns at her. “Are you going somewhere?”

“Just to a friend’s house,” she lies. She wonders what he sees when he looks at her—with her long hair and her piercings. He looks down on her, she already knows that, but does he notice that her jaw is softening, that there’s the faintest hints of mascara around her eyes? They weren’t there when she used to visit his house, showed up for her study dates with Tim. Does he notice them now?

“I was wondering if I can use your phone,” he says. “I’m afraid someone slashed my tires.”

Steph wants to scream at him, wants to tell him to go away, to find someone whose life he hasn’t just ruined, but she’s supposed to be a hero, she’s supposed to help people. Fumbling, she sticks the drive into her back pocket and hands over her cell phone. Trying to distract herself while he makes the call, she turns around to lock the door, anxiously looking at her watch the whole time.

She doesn’t notice that the USB drive was in the pocket where she keeps her keys, and that pulling out the keys sends it onto the ground.

She doesn’t know that after taking her phone back from Jack Drake and running to get her bike, which she will drive as Robin to the Batcave, he will see it.

She doesn’t know that Jack Drake will, realizing it is hers, pass it off to her father, who will use it to try to start a gang war that will end with himself in control over all of Gotham’s gangs.

All of that comes later.

Right now, Stephanie Brown is rushing towards Wayne Manor, heart in her throat as she tries to put as much distance between herself and her father as she can possibly manage.

She parks the motorcycle, and Bruce is waiting for her. He’s not in uniform, instead wearing one of those simple, but elegant suits she sees him wearing for work at Wayne Industries. She called him away from work, she realizes, and guilt floods her. He does important things and she pulled him away from it because she was a scared little girl—  

“Are you alright?” He asks, doing the most intimate gesture he knows how to do, placing an awkward hand on her shoulder.

“I’m—is my mom okay?” Steph says, because that’s easier to think about than the answer to that question.

“She’s here, she’s upstairs with Alfred,” Bruce says. “Stephanie. Can you tell me what happened?”

Steph looks up at him. She’s not short by any definition of the word, but Bruce Wayne is tall, and his presence is dwarfing. “My dad knows I’m gay because Tim’s dad told him.” She hates how small she sounds there, how pathetic and quiet and sad. She waits for him to react as he realizes she was overreacting, for him to tell her to just go home. He probably thought her dad knew his secret identity or something like that, he didn’t realize it was just her being scared of her father.

Bruce just nods, as if that’s more than reason enough to be scared. “We’ll keep you safe, Stephanie.”

Steph remembers playing hide and seek with her father. He could always find her, had a nose for knowing all of her little bolt holes where she’d go to hide. She remembers his laughter when he found her; sometimes kind, usually cruel. If he finds the Cave—

“He won’t,” Bruce says, and she realizes she must have said it out loud. He places his other hand on her other shoulder, standing in front of her, a wall of muscle and confidence. “Steph. You’re not alone. Let us help you.”

Steph opens her mouth and sobs come out, and Bruce Wayne hugs her tightly, pulling her against his chest. She grips the jacket of his suit and buries her face in the fabric and cries and cries and cries until there’s no tears left, and she’s kneeling on the floor of the Cave, with Bruce’s arms around her.

It takes them a day to realize the plans are missing, and Steph has a panic attack right in the middle of the kitchen, in front of Bruce and Alfred, as she realized just how badly she screwed up. Bruce sends Cass to go back to Steph’s apartment to see what she can find out.

But it’s Tim who shows up, bearing the bad news.

“He gave them to your dad, uh, Steph?” Tim Drake cuts an awkward figure, staring at her like he doesn’t know what to make of her. Cass has lent Steph one of the skirts Bruce keeps buying her, and she’s thrown on one of her baggy band t-shirts on top of it. She’s still working with the makeup thing, but Cass tried to help her that morning. The result is that her mouth looks lopsided and there’s mascara smudged on her cheekbone, but Steph is just trying to enjoy herself. She can work on perfecting how she wants to look later, when there’s not crises looming on the horizon.

He doesn’t know how to address her as Stephanie, his ex-girlfriend. And that’s not even tackling the big elephant in the room that wears red and green tights.

Maybe it wasn’t Bruce’s to give away, Steph thinks, as they talk about what her father might do with the plans, should he be able to access them. Maybe Tim can just take it back whenever he wants.

Steph can’t meet Tim’s gaze. It feels scorching on her back, and despite all of her anger and hurt, she feels ashamed.

She took Robin from him. She had no right to do that.

Being Robin is the best thing that ever happened to her, but it was also the best thing that ever happened to Tim. Steph can’t justify keeping it to herself, not when she has Spoiler and Bruce is helping her transition and—

Cass nudges her sharply. “Out of your head,” she says. “Focus.” It’s kind and soft, without condemnation, but Steph tries her best to refocus, to help.

When the meeting ends with Alfred calling them to lunch, Steph lingers back, meeting Tim’s gaze. “Tim…” she says, unsure of where to begin, of how to explain. Maybe she should cuss him out for letting her father drive her away. Maybe she should cry about him breaking her heart, let him actually deal with the mess he made of her for once instead of pawning her off to others.

But here she stands, tall and proud, her hair forming soft waves around her face and her chin held high, and she says. “I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you before I started being Robin.”

Tim lets out a sharp exhale and looks away. “You’re… you’re doing a good job. I’m glad he had you.”

Steph tries not to flinch at the past tense, but he’s a detective. He spots it.

“Has. Has you.”

“It’s… it’s yours if you want it,” she says, trying to keep her voice calm and firm and not to let the waver in, no matter how much she wants it to. Her throat is closing up with tears but she tries her hardest not to let them fall, because Tim Drake, she decides here and now, does not get to see her cry over this, not when he didn’t let her inside on the worst day of her life.

Tim looks at her, and he shakes his head.

“No,” he says, and Steph stares at him.

Because the thing is, she knows Tim Drake. She knows that he loves Robin, she knows that he begged for this position. She knows he loves it, loves being clever, being a detective. This is his family.

She’s grateful, yes, she wants to cry and shout it from the rooftops that she’s Robin, but she doesn’t understand.

“Batman needs a Robin,” Tim says, and it’s slow, like he’s trying to figure out the answer even as he’s saying it. “But… I don’t think… I don’t think I’m the Robin he needs right now.”

Steph frowns at him. “But I am?”

“You… it’s different with you,” he says, still struggling for words. “He’s… you… you challenge him. You’re good for him.”

“Tim,” Steph says. “You were great at Robin.”

Tim shrugs. “Maybe I was,” he says. “But he needs you, now.”

Steph wants to reach out to him, wants to hug him, but the space between them is still too awkward, too heavy, too loaded. There are still too many conversations they need to have before she can hit that point, before she can open herself up to him like that.

“What will you do?” She asks, instead of saying any of the things on her mind.

Tim shrugs. “Maybe work with Babs for a bit. And…” He hesitates. “Cass and I have been talking about Bludhaven. Maybe I can find a new start there.”

Steph swallows. “I see,” she says. She glances over at Cass, who’s eating, not paying attention to them right now. She tries not to be hurt, that Cass is going to leave again. But Cass is always leaving, Steph has to learn this. Cass is going to be Batman one day; it’s unspoken, but Steph knows this to be true in her bones. Cass needs to learn everything that she can learn; leadership and detective work and reading and writing and every other thing she can get her hands on, because she’s going to be the best.

Steph can’t begrudge her that, even if her heart already aches with the predicted absence.

“That’s nice,” she says. She turns, unsure of where she’s going, but wanting to end this conversation. Tim Drake is overwhelming. Right now, he’s bringing up all of the old memories, all the old hurts, and Steph can’t handle that right now. Right now, she needs distance, she needs focus…

She needs the old piano in the upstairs library.

“Steph!” Tim catches her on the arm and Steph turns. “Look after him, okay?” And the look on his face is full of such raw, honest concern that she melts just a little.

“I will,” she promises, and gives him a smile, a real one, warm and bright. She can’t remember the last time Tim made her smile like that.

He gives her an answering grin in response, then lets go of her arm. Once, she would have been upset at him letting go so quickly, would have mourned his absence. But that was then, and this is now, and Steph just quietly slips out of the room, searching for the piano that she knows exists in this large, cavernous house.

The Manor is a maze that Steph is still learning; Alfred and Bruce have provided her with a room, close to Cass’s. Her mother has one too, for the duration of their stay while they try to hunt her dad down,, to put him away so he can’t hurt either of them.

The room feels odd. It feels permanent. Every time she steps in there, she feels like something warm and soft has been wrapped around her. Like it’s saying welcome home every time.

Never in her life has Stephanie Brown felt so comfortable in every way; not in her own skin, not as a superhero, and not in this strange house that she’s wandering, in search of that piano that she’s seen once or twice before.

She finds it, and sits herself down to play. There’s sheet music in the bench; old pop songs that she doesn’t recognize and some classic pieces, yellowed with age. She flips through them, and promises herself she’ll go through them all, and add them to her repetoire. But now, all she wants to do is play an old favorite.

Melodia Africana II is fast and lyrical and it sweeps her up in it, helping her muscles relax as she plays. The piano is beautiful; old but well kept, and shockingly in tune, given that she’s pretty sure no one in this ancient manor actually plays. But the sound is gorgeous and deep, and she finds herself losing track of everything else in the room as she immerses herself in the music.

“You play very well,” Bruce says from behind her, as the last chord fades. She looks up.

“Thanks,” she says. She runs her finger along the edge of the bench. “Whose was it?”

“My mother’s,” he says. Steph swallows, but nods. “How long have you been playing?”

“Forever,” Steph says. She offers him a grin, wide and cheeky and far more confident than she feels. “Got a request?”

He laughs, honestly laughs, and Steph nearly falls off the bench. “Maybe another time,” he says, placing a hand on her shoulder. Steph grins at him even wider now, something warm and happy in her chest. “Right now, Alfred’s almost got dinner ready.”

Steph bounces up to her feet, grinning. “Food sounds awesome,” she says. “Then patrol, right?” The best part about summer is that there’s no homework before patrol. She can mess around with Cass and maybe Tim, if she’s up for it, instead of slogging through writing papers.

“That’s right,” he says. “I was thinking you might like to go out with Cassandra tonight. I’ve got a few things I need to do on my own.”

Steph nods, grinning. She hasn’t gone out with Cass as Robin yet, and her walk gains an extra bit of bounce as her excitement sets in. Batgirl and Robin are a dynamic duo in their own right, legends of their own, separate from Batman in many ways. She can’t contain her eagerness as she sits down next to Cass at dinner, and even knowing that Cass is thinking about leaving soon can’t reign in her enthusiasm. She isn’t even worried about her dad having Bruce’s plans, isn’t even worried about having to hide from him.

Those are worries for later.

For now, things are just fine.

She races Cass along the rooftops.

Being Robin is amazing, Steph thinks as she leaps across the gap over to the next block, the impact hitting her ankles hard but not slowing her down in the slightest.

Cass is faster though, always faster, and tackles her, arms wrapped around Steph’s middle as the two of them go crashing down to the ground in a tangle of limbs and capes. “Tag,” Cass says, incredibly smug and proud of herself, as if she couldn’t take Steph blindfolded with one hand tied behind her back. As if tackling Robin the Girl Wonder is an achievement that could even register to the One Who Is All. Steph laughs, letting her head fall back against the cement of the rooftop.

“When do you leave?” Steph asks, looking at Cass, when they’re sitting down, feet dangling over the side of the fire escape. It took them a while to find this place, but it’s a good one. Steph almost wishes she had food or something. It would be a good hang out spot, she thinks. Gotham is full of nice little niches like this one. Places to just take a moment and look at the world.

Cass shrugs. “Don’t know,” she says. She reaches over and pats Steph’s hand. “I’ll visit,” she promises. “We’re… a team.”

Steph turns and grins at her. “Thanks, Cass,” she whispers, and hugs her best friend as tightly as she can. Cass hugs her back just as tightly. It’s a wonder no one has a broken rib.

“I’m glad you’re Robin,” Cass says in her ear, almost soft enough that Steph might miss it.

Steph pulls back slightly, frowning. “You don’t miss Tim?” Cass and Tim were inseparable, like siblings. Their Batgirl and Robin dynamic had been wonderful; that was why Tim was going with Cass to Bludhaven. They balanced each other out nicely, in a way that Steph wasn’t quite sure she and Cass would be able to recreate.

Cass shrugs again, then places her hand over Steph’s Robin badge. Steph flushes slightly at the action, but Cass plows on, not noticing where the badge is or not thinking it important enough to move it right away. “It makes you happy,” Cass says. “I like that.”

Steph grins at her, and oh. That’s a thought for another time, she thinks, staring at Cass’s masked face and wishing that the mask wasn’t there so that she could see Cass’s face.

A crush on her best friend is not exactly convenient.

Cass, oblivious to Steph’s thoughts, stares up at the sky, at the signal, blazing right against the clouds. “I’ve never been to Bludhaven,” Cass says, and it’s almost conversational, almost nervous, but yet neither of those things at the same time.  

Steph grins at her, shaking her head slightly. “You’ll make it yours, Cass,” she promises her. “You’ll figure it out.” Because if anyone could, it would be Cass and Tim. It should be fascinating, watching the two of them try to untangle all of the complications and the dirt and the lies that flood Bludhaven.

They’re going to be amazing, Steph thinks, and she hopes Cass can see those thoughts in her body language. She doesn’t doubt Cass, not one bit.

Cass clearly smiles, even behind her mask. “Yes,” she says, confidently. “Tim will help.” She gets to her feet in a swift, graceful movement that mere mortals like Steph can only dream of. “Let’s go,” she says. “Night is… still young.”

Steph bursts out laughing, but takes Cass’s offered hand to get to her feet.

They take off across the rooftops again, this time with Steph chasing Cass. She probably won’t catch her the fair way, but then again, where’s the fun in that?

Some people say that Robin has to be a boy.

That is, to be crude, complete and utter bullshit.

In one world, Stephanie Brown dies on a helicopter. Her heart stutters to a stop and Leslie brings her back. She dies because of her own mistakes and the mistakes of many others, but particularly she dies because of the cruelty of two people.

Leslie hides Stephanie Brown away, where she comes out of the closet and transitions. She stays away until she is healthy and whole.

Stephanie Brown stops being Robin the day that Jack Drake visits her apartment in that world.

But this is not that world.

In this world, Stephanie Brown joins the Teen Titans. She joins Young Justice and fights by their side. She grows up and comes out in Gotham, and it’s messy and complicated. Her hair grows longer and her smile grows wider, and she lives.

She’s Robin.

#Stephanie Brown #Bruce Wayne #Cassandra Cain #Tim Drake #Steph Writes #DC #These Small Hours

[sasamdcu]

So I watched the newest episode of YJ because I was recommended by Rich from Whelmed as it showed how they were taking Harper’s Character, and I trust him on this. And as hesitant and turned off from previous episodes as I’ve been I still wanted to know what the heckie they were doing. And I’m glad I did. As a wise man Rich quoted once said “Being a YJ fan is [emotionally] complicated”.

Sorry for the rant previously about their characterization before this episode Rich. Sorry for a second.

So after this weeks episode of Young Justice I feel a bit better about Harper’s characterization and the character assassination from the beach scene. I see what they were trying to do. I still don’t like it overall though. This episode felt largely tokenistic.

I think it’s important to talk about Domestic Abuse. Especially with vulnerable teens. The problem is there are other characters this could have been addressed with. To a degree it has been with Artemis though obviously it couldn’t have been as overtly due to Cartoon Network at the time. It could have been Tara with Slade if they wanted to avoid him being a pedophile like he is in Judas Contract and just be more of an abusive father figure(because even off Cartoon Network talking about pedophilia might be pushing it). Though from hints at the end of this episode it looks like something else might be going on with Tara instead(if they give her a redemption arc I am 100% for her not being used for this situation). But they also have Cass and Steph. Both who have shitty villain parents as well. Cass’ in particular being particularly abusive. Though I guess Harper’s is the least “super villain” and most just deadbeat criminal father.

My problem is Fundamentally this changes Harper’s story greatly from the comics. It takes her from someone who was strong and independent and dependable and who’s story was one of hope and moving forward and helping others and becomes one of suffering and needing being saved and It’s not that stories about domestic abuse aren’t important. It’s that we rarely see the other side and the rebuilding and positivity that comes after escaping a situation. That’s what Harper in the comics gave us. And I think it’s more powerful than a rehashed “my father hits us” story that is used often especially in stories of queer youth. Especially since most of the people watching Young Justice now are the young adults who have grown up on Young Justice and have possibly recently escaped similar circumstances and need those stories of the future. Of things working out.

The people who need the stories of speaking out are generally going to be younger and as a result inherently less likely to even see this episode due to the very privatized services for watching Young Justice. You cannot watch it outside of the US legally.(trust me I’m in Canada.) You need to pay for a DC Universe subscription.(And outside of the US for a US based VPN) For a kid struggling with abusive parents this isn’t going to be something they’ll widely run into. It’s something they need to search for. Mostly likely on pirate sites which again trust me DC have been decent at keeping down on release days. And that doesn’t help nearly as much. If this had come out when it was still on Cartoon Network or even still on Netflix I would full heartedly support this take on Harper’s story. But as it stands it feels unnecessary for it to have been HARPER to be the one who had to tell it. There are other characters. Harper could have been that positive light. And maybe she will in the future. But it still feels somehow diminished.

And at it’s core this is totally just an issue of target audience, as a young adult Harper in the comics gave me this story of a girl in her late teens who’s found a place in life and is finding ways to help others. Young Justice gives me a young teen who’s struggling to stay alive through an abusive household. I clearly relate more to the comics with where I am currently in my life. The story told here will always be important and while I don’t think it’s best for Harper’s story I also wouldn’t want it removed at all. It is very important for these types of stories to be told. I again just would have really like a more positive story in Harper personally. Nothing I can say to criticize it really matters however because the message is more important than the character interpretation I think on this matter. I don’t have to like their take on Harper. But I don’t want them to lessen this message. It’s hard to explain. Being let down about something because they’re doing something else with it that’s important on a fundamental social level and could help others is weird because you don’t want to criticize the message and want to support it and it makes it feel a bit like you can’t say “hey this could have been done better.” But that’s more or less where I’m at. It could have been done better. But I’d rather have it than not.

It also doesn’t excuse the biphobic way of introducing her bisexuality by saying she cheats during a scene she’s getting drunk and shooting guns. That scene wasn’t necessary. You could have had her pulled into Therapy based on the bruises no booze or guns involved. You could have had her mention he beats them for being Queer. You didn’t need to link her bisexuality with cheating. And maybe that’s why it bothers me so much about this change. It still links her queerness with suffering and being a victim and being self destructive. (Which is what I mean above by. It could have been done better.) Queer people need not just characters who suffer but characters who are strong and independent and happy as well. And that was taken away for scenes that feel largely unnecessary outside of the counseling session.

Instead we’re given Kaldur being queer. Which I’m so glad they did. With Jackson in the comics I so badly wanted Kaldur to be confirmed part of the queer community and we got that. Unfortunately it feels week and tokenistic. We get a shot of him kissing another man. A side character who appeared to my knowledge once in the comics and has no speaking lines. Maybe that will change? But honestly we have had so many main characters couple up in hetero relationships that this just doesn’t feel like enough. It feels like a cheap way to please people without having to actually write the relationship further into the show. It also doesn’t help alleviate the worry that the writers just don’t understand how to write queer relationships, a feeling felt strongly after that beach scene by many and which I know has actively alienated many fans, myself included.

Greg himself admits he’s still learning about the Queer community and I can respect that. He’s open about trying his best and still learning. My only hope is that the staff have hired some queer people to help build these portrayals in this case. It doesn’t feel like they have and knowing how well Voltron went in the end after refusing to hire experts well. If they haven’t then again I’m going to keep worrying that there isn’t something more going on and the community is going to be failed again. Because if you don’t know much about the community. The best way to make sure they’re being treated right in your representation is honestly just hire an expert to double check for you. It’s literally if you don’t know just ask someone who does. It’s not hard. I tweeted asking if there was anyone like that on staff but haven’t received a response. I can hope.

Anyways I’m like the only person who’s ever written Tara/Harper content specifically Tara/Harper/Raven so if I get that end game somehow with the absurd half these characters never met representation then fuck it I rescind everything and will boy at Greg’s feet praising him for giving me literally everything I as a queer poly trans woman could ever want in a DC work. (throw Cass in too for good measure)

Anyways this is a mess because I slept through high school and never learned how to write a proper essay. If you’ve suffered through this long through the rambling and repeating and whining then you deserve something to brighten your day a bit. Have a very niche meme.

#young justice spoilers #young justice season 3