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angelthebedsheet · 4 years

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hi! can i request a hxh headcannon with kurapika maybe like what it's like being a relationship with him? sorry if you can't do this or i requested this the wrong way-

- anon

a/n: it’s alright anon! i’ll try my best to write about the loml and the bad bitch himself kurapika! love hims i may have went CRAZY for this. also i write on my phone so sorry if this is so long!

lets get it!

How yall started dating

okay so yall first met at the hunter exams elevator

the main four first walked in there and were surprised to see another person there

and gon being his friendly self started to chat it up with you

“hi im gon!!”

“hi gon. i’m y/n.”

kurapika there respectfully looking at you

like you’re attractive.

lookin at how those elevator lights shine on your beautiful melaninated skin

whew baby he went 😳 inside but greeted you

“im kurapika”

“well hello kurapika”

and that was the BEGINNING

timeskip up in this bitch rq

the arcs are pretty hazy to me so like.... lets say yall were feeling e/o during the york new city arc

yall both were trying to become bounty hunters and were alr pretty close to e/o

you suggested working with him and he liked that idea

yall alr fought really well tgt and he actually liked having you around him

so you both became neon’s bodyguards

yall were slowly becoming closer to each other each day yall worked together

like lingering touches, yearnful gazes

allat cute mushy shit

kurapika is one touch starved and closed off bitch so he’s struggling here

you on the other hand you KNOW you want kurapika like who wouldn’t want him???

he’s a whole package in that tuxedo 🥵🥵

n e ways

soon neon notices this shit and it goes downhill

this lil shit starts PURPOSELY locking yall in rooms together

like baby no we are supposed to protect you what are you doing???

“im not letting you out till you two kiss!!”

“i beg your pardon?” - kurapika

“neon huh???” - you

kurapika is internally like what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck i lwk wanna kiss em but.... feelings.

you can see the internal STRUGGLE thats going on in kura’s eyes

you just say fuck it and pray the gods and any other spiritual holy beings are on your side and kiss him

kurapika’s stomach said 🦋🦋🦋🦋 when you cupped his face

like your lips are SOFT

(no cuz like some of yall rlly be making y/n have crusty ass lips like um no baby i wear lip gloss and chapstick religiously you aint gon catch me w/ brittle ass lips)

and you cant tell me kurapika doesnt wear chapstick

and he’s like ✋🏽😳 hol up this kinda.... this kinda hits why didnt i do this earlier?

(bc you’re a gated ass bitch thats why honey)

my mans just has to kiss back

he kinda just gently holds your wrists and kisses back

now you’re deceased bc damn boy where you learned this???

no cap you kinda felt your knees buckle and he noticed that but yall not gon talk about that

and you two reluctantly pull away bc hello yall still on the job and literally are bodyguards

“the door wasnt even locked.”

“you cheeky lil shi—

cue you chasing neon while she runs away giggling

kurapika can only gently touch his lips and smile with a red face

In the Relationship

now yall are disgustingly cute in private

kurapika is definitely touch starved and he always needs to be touching you in some way

he always looks out for you too

he’ll definitely press tons of kisses to your face or the back of your neck

calls you a bunch of cheesy nicknames

darling, my love, my sun, sweetheart, beloved, honey, babylove (the stanely uris thats played by wyatt oleff makes me lose my sHIT)

my boy loves your hair so much

like the texture? the volume?

he’s all for it

he would probably ask canary about wash day bc she’s black herself

would 100% help you with wash day

want him to detangle your hair? hand him that rat toothed comb he’s on it

wash your hair? let him roll up his sleeves he’s on it

oil massages? pass them oil bottles baby he’s putting you to sleep

like you will be KNOCKED as he washes your hair or oils it bc he’s that skilled

i think he would struggle braiding your hair but after you show him?

this man is taking over and braiding your hair neater than you

like excuse me where did you learn this??

parting god.

them parts are crispy and straighter than a mf

literally doesn’t comb your hair like ya mama do w/ all that tugging and shit

he’ll just gently move your head along or softly apologize whenever he accidentally tugs on your hair and presses a kiss to your scalp

taking. baths. together.

my boy CRAVES that intimacy

no sexual shit

after a long day of work he just LOVES to take a nice bubble bath with you

either you leaning against his chest or you on the opposite end of the bath

he can always unwind around you and let go of that stoic facade he puts on

i would say he’s a lil goofy in private? like he’ll scoop up the bubbles and blow them in your face

if you want jokes you gotta give em

baby had to grow up quicker so he’s more mature for his age

i’d say if you want them giggles out? hold his waist and blow the back of his neck

the way he JERKS from that then starts laughing

heart eyes up in that bitch

his laugh is so 🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰

“darling!” “that was so FUCKING CUTE KURA WTFFF”

another way? blow kisses in his neck

he will giggle like a lil kid

god i love him

when you go to sleep he’s always big spoon

doesn’t matter if you’re taller than him

big. spoon. kurapika.

the only times you can hold him is when he has a breakdown and his scarlet eyes are activated

nightmares haunt him alot and he just needs to hear your heartbeat to know you’re still here

he needs to feel your warmth and you whispering that you’re here

other than those moments you better be fine with him holding you

i would say he doesn’t move alot in his sleep other than the small twitches

but for some reason his grip is strong as FUCK

like you aint getting out of his arms at ALL

if you gotta pee hold it

nah im kidding

just wake him up he’s not a deep sleeper but he isnt a light one either

if he were to wake up in the middle of the night he’d definitely fix your bonnet or durag if it fell off

morning kissies!

one way he loves waking up is kisses all over his face

especially kissing on his eyelids

it makes him wake up with a big ol smile

“morning beloved.”

WHEWWWWWW THE RASP

ahem anyways

“morning pikapika.”

he used to hate that nickname

now? baby LOVES it bc it’s just for him

the lohl giving him a nickname just for him makes butterflies in his stomach go crazy

he can practically feel the love oozing from your eyes

the way he wakes you up?

if he’s feeling a lil goofy or silly he’ll lay ontop of you and blow kisses into your neck

if he’s still tired he’ll cup your face and gently call your name

yall cook together

if you cant cook he will respectfully say take your goofy ass out of the kitchen

if you can? show him how to season your food correctly. rmb how he made that pig look pretty asf but merchi basically said it taste like shit?

not on your watch

he’ll take mental notes as you teach him the ways of goya and sazon

sometimes he’ll just gently take over

not bc he thinks you cant do it right but bc he likes to provide for others

you just gotta lightly slap his hands away like bby i got this its okay

and he’ll understand

kisses with him are very soft but passionate?

like he isnt gonna eat your lips but he will hold you close and make sure you know how much he loves you

he’ll definitely twirl your curls around his finger

you of course gave him your permission when you started dating

he will always have one arm around your waist and one hand behind your neck

doesnt matter if you’re taller

he will 100% get on his tiptoes and do it

or make you sit down

he doesnt CARE if he has to step on a stepladder he’ll do it

he said run me my kisses NEOW

i would definitely say he’s a passionate lover and would throw hands with ANYONE if they make any snarky comments about your skin

“my s/o’s skin is beautiful mind your business and take yourself somewhere else before i do it for you”

😳

🕶🤏🏾

sir.....

you would throw hands for him too

anyone says anything about him being a girl?

its over

there was a time where someone called him a girl who was confused and you went off and got into a fight

you won by a landside

kurapika was like 😟😦😳🥺

bc you really fought for his honor

but he had to pull you away before you damn near put this person in the hospital

“honey thank you but it was okay. it didnt bother me.”

“no but it bothered me! nobody can just talk about someone i love like that.”

he went 🥺🥺🥺

he definitely kissed the FUCK outta you when yall got home

yall hands were rated e for everyone!

a ride or die couple

yall are in love love

maybe he’s looking for a ring and kurta wedding earrings

#kurapika x reader #hunter x hunter x reader #hxh x reader #x black reader #x gender neutral reader #kurapika kurta #kurapika #reader x kurapika #hunter x hunter #hxh

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relaxxattack · 3 years

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Levi said he has siblings and they had to fight for food so I imagine him being one of the youngest of his siblings. His family is poor-ish.

Genevieve I dont know if she has siblings but with my headcanon yes she does. She is the eldest of 4 siblings the only girl. Went to school to fight and was in the top range of the class. Her siblings can fight too and they spar with her.

Bartholomew is a only child and he is only 18. He has no parents and was raised by his grandparents. Worked at a pub. Lost said parents at 8. If he had lived he wouldve wrote letters with Watson and others he befriended.

Watson as he said is a traveler and I headcanon him traveling since he was 18. He has collected some cool stiff. Since he lived at the end I imagine him just continuing on his journey and writing letters with Ran and maybe Jackie.

Edward I headcanon as having siblings but being a decade plus older than them. Went to school and was top of his class. While greedy is sweet sometimes.

Laggius. He was mistakely picked to be a gladitor as he cannot fight. Can bake and works with his family's bakery. Cant decide if human or Dog hybrid but his mom is a Dog hybrid.

John was the bullied kid in school. John can fight because of that. Was training to be a blacksmith sort person. Middle child of 5 and the only son. Very quiet so wasnt really heard over his sisters.

Porkius was the ruler since he was 15 years old. He loves fighting and was trained to fight. He is around 25-30 years old. He is very hybrid friendly considering he is himself a hybrid. Actually not that bad of a ruler could be worse. (What I mean is it sucks but have you seen how bad some people can be at ruling at least so he is like 3 or 3.5/10.

Ran has no siblings and was raised by his enderman-human Dad. Mom was a enderman and dad was enderman-human so he is mostly enderman. Traveled with his father till he found a group of people who wants to take governments down.

Jackie was orphaned at 12 and had people teach him to fight and kill (he was taught to fight before just killing is new) and I think canonically he is 17 so he has been doing this for atleast 4 1/2 years. He as general (that was the title right?) Gets a year to two years of training.

(CB) 2/2

(If you want the other hybrid headcanons for the other tftsmp I can)

WAIT I LOVE THESE ONES!!

the sibling hcs really help flesh out the character more imo, it helps me understand their backstories/where they come from

#the pit

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witchcraft-in-wonderland · 4 years

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Poor Little Anxious Crybaby (Pt.13)

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Virgil seemed to be spending more and more time with Remus and Roman, not that anyone involved minded this change. But it wasnt the only thing that seemed to be changing.

This was the third week in a row in which Virgil seemed to be kept up for most of the night by dreams he couldnt understand. Sometimes he could make out the shapes of rabbits cats or mice, but rarely could he understand them.

"Maybe you just wanna be a mountain lion, I mean mountain lions could literally get away with ripping someone limb from limb, I'd wanna be a mountain lion," Remus said, running his fingers through Virgil's hair as Virgil lay across the couch.

"What I don't understand is why it would be waking you up, I mean, it's not like being a mountain lion is generally upsetting, right?" Roman said, pulling the hem of his sweater over his knees.

"Yeah. . . ." Virgil said, burying his face in Remus' stomach.

"Careful there bud, I gotta use that to digest stuff," Remus said, letting out a cackle as Virgil blew a raspberry against the skin.

"Well we dont need to focus on dreams now, anyone up for a game?" Roman said, shaking a controller.

"Ooohhh! I'll order pizza!" Remus said, bolting up off the couch. Virgil let out a whine at the loss of contact as his head landed on the couch pillows.

"Aaaawwweee, sorry Vivi, I'll come back in a little, but can you give me your order, Ro? You're usual?" Remus said, looking at both boys in turn.

"Cheese,,," Virgil mumbled.

"I'm not hungry," Roman said, bringing his legs closer to his chest. Remus seemed slightly upset by the response, but simply nodded and went to call the pizza place. Virgil moved closer to Roman, who draped an arm around him.

"Roro?. . ." Virgil said quietly.

"Hm?" Roman leaned his head on Virgil's.

"When we get back to school are you still gonna have to be friends with 'You-know-who' are you?" Virgil said, he hadnt thought about the kids at school for most of the summer, but it was nearly September, so the memory was slowly creeping back in.

Roman sat there for a few seconds, rubbing circle's into Virgil's back.

"I dont know Vivi. . . He's not exactly easy to get away from y'know?" Roman said sadly, Virgil buried his head in Roman's shoulder.

Virgil had known Inigo since they were kids, and they had never been friendly. But since becoming friends with Roman, Virgil had learned of even more reasons to despise the boy.

"I hope he and Brennan get together," Virgil muttered, casting a distinct glance at the sewing kit on the coffee table. Roman let out a soft chuckle, burying his head in Virgil's hair.

"That can be arranged," Remus said, sitting down next to the pair and draping himself across Virgil's back.

"Guuuyyyssss- you're crushing meeeeee," Virgil said, pouting.

"Not my fault you're so tiny," Remus said, resting his head in the crook of Virgil's neck.

"I'm only 4'8!" Virgil whined.

"Tinyyyyyy~" the twins chimed in unison.

Virgil had to admit that the feeling was nice, he was warm and happy, and for once in his life, he felt safe.

He and the twins spent a good portion of the day beating the crap out of fictional characters in a video game and stuffing their faces with pizza, Remus had taught Virgil how to make a volcano out of melted metal and an ant hill, much to Roman's distress.

"I'll see you guys tomorrow ok?" Virgil said as he stepped out the door to go home.

"Did you have fun kiddo?" Patton said as Virgil walked into the kitchen.

"Mhm," Virgil smiled as he rested his head on the kitchen counter.

"Dont forget to take your medication before dinner Virgil, I'm hoping the doctor will be right about it helping you sleep easier," Emile said, setting the bottle down next to Virgil.

"I wish they made this stuff in liquid form more often- how do you take all your stuff so easily?" Virgil said, raising an eyebrow at Emile.

"Its hard for me to, but usually if I take the water first and slip the medicine in after it's easier because it's already floating," Emile said, shrugging.

Virgil thought on this for a moment before nodding slightly. Virgil liked Emile a lot more than he'd first expected, of course sometimes he was a little different, but usually he and Virgil could just sit on the couch and talk about cartoons, and Virgil could even tell him about his nightmares without getting scared.

Of course there were some things he still didnt know about Emile, but if Patton or Emile didnt want to tell him things, he wasnt about to ask for information he shouldnt need.

Settling down for bed that night still felt bad, but Virgil didnt mention it, he didnt want to bother anyone.

Virgil awoke in a patch of soft grass, which upon closer inspection, seemed to be more of a dull teal color than the green it ought to have been.

"There you are! We've been looking everywhere for you!" Said a voice, Virgil looked up to see what looked to be a girl with white rabbit ears, wearing a waist coat and khaki shorts, a boy with a hat, a tux, and hair that varied from shades of brown and blonde on one side, and various other colors on the other, between the two was a girl with brown bunny ears, her outfit seemed to be an attempt at formality which only ended in the tattered remains of what could have once been a met gala dress.

"Who are you?-" Virgil said, sitting up and shaking his head slightly in confusion.

"Aaawww, you dont recognize us?" Said the brown bunny.

"Well of course he doesnt! When's the last time you saw him at the tea party! I mean look at his clothes! Hardly appropriate for such a special event." Said the man with the hat. Virgil looked down at his clothes, he was still in his pajamas.

"Come on- we have to get you dressed first, I cant imagine what would happen if we brought you to the king dressed like that!" Said the white rabbit, dragging Virgil off the ground and marching toward a small house on a hill.

It seemed like hours before the mission the three people seemed so set on completing was finished, and by the end of it Virgil found himself in a dusty purple dress with white sleeves, a black bow and buttons on the chest, white lace on the skirt hem, white stockings, and black boots. If he was being honest with himself, he'd never been happier to look at his reflection.

"Well come on then! The king is waiting for you!" Said the boy with the hate.

"Now hold on a second- I dont even know your names, how am I supposed to trust that you'll take me to the right place?" Virgil said.

The three figures in front of him exchanged glances.

"Hes right you know, I'd never trust someone without a name,"

"I made friends with a nameless person once, they stole my cat,"

"But if we give him our names outright then it's no fun!"

Virgil looked between the three of them in confusion, waiting for the conversation to end.

"Ok, we wont tell you our names, but you can guess them," said the boy with the hat.

The white rabbit stepped up first, she mimicked placing a crown on her head, and then mimicked a sword being pulled from something and swinging it around.

"Well- it cant be Arthur, you dont strike me as an Arthur- so is it. . . Gwenivere?" Virgil said, the girl shook her head but made a motion of begging him on.

"Gwendolyn?" Virgil said.

"You got it!" Gwendolyn said excitedly, clasping her hands together and bouncing from foot to foot. She stepped back and allowed the second rabbit to take her place.

This one held out two fingers first, dropped one, and began to imitate what seemed to be waves.

"Waverly?" Virgil said, the girl nodded and held up two fingers again, proceeding to drop them and hold up a full hand, pointing to calendar that had floated down from the ceiling.

"Waverly-Mae?" Virgil said, the girl nodded and spun on her heel to walk back next to Gwendolyn.

"And that leaves me for last I suppose," said the boy with the hat, making a sort of disappointed face to the girls as he walked up to Virgil. He mimicked both a face that Virgil would describe as angry, and one he would describe as having a few screws out of place.

"Mad?" Virgil said, the boy nodded and kept going, placing one finger on either side of his head and digging his foot into the ground.

"Maddox?" Virgil said, tilting his head. Maddox smiled and nodded.

"Well now that you know our names, you'll have to meet our king!" Gwendolyn said, grabbing Virgil by the arm and rushing off.

It took ages for them to reach what Virgil believed to be the palace. It was large and black with red and green accents along the sides, this left a sinking feeling in Virgil's chest.

"I present to you, his most gracious majesty, King Rhea!" Gwendolyn said, backing into a line with several guards dressed in red and white. Maddox and Waverly-Mae fell in line with the knights in black and green.

Virgil looked forward, in front of him and sitting on a throne was a man who shared much to many similarities with the twins to be comforting.

Though one eye was green and one eye was red, and rather than red or dark brown hair, his was black and white, but he still had the same smirk, the same demeanor Remus and Roman had when out on the town.

"So glad you could finally make it, your excellency," said Rhea, now turning his head to look at Virgil.

"I-" Rhea held his hand up, Virgil's mouth closed almost immediately.

"I know what you're going to say, and you are absolutely correct, you are not royalty, you are something much more important,"

Virgil woke up in a cold sweat, and it wasnt until he looked at himself in the mirror that he realized, he was still wearing the very same dress as before.

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strangerthingsharrington · 4 years

Text

Can’t Fight This Feeling

-6-

My head was pounding. I thought it was literally going to explode.

I hadn't slept well that night. I woke up almost every hour because of these dreams about Russians kidnapping Dustin and threatening to kill him because we were trying to crack their code.

At six thirty in the morning I gave up and decided to just stay awake. I washed and brushed my teeth to try and get me a bit more motivated.

I went to the kitchen in my pyjamas and a worn copy of To Kill a Mockingbird. I brought my foot onto the chair and leaned my head against my bent knee. I wasn't paying attention to the book, I think I reread the same sentence spoken by Scout about fifteen times before I really realized I wasnt absorbing any of the context. My mind was so spaced out.

Mom eventually came into the kitchen and went right to coffee maker where she got a new pot ready.

She turned to face me and raised a brow, "Isn't it summer break, honey? You should be sleeping."

I put my foot back on the ground and rested my arms on the table over my book, "Rough sleep," I mumbled.

She frowned at me, "You feeling okay?"

Yeah just the pure anxiety and fear about Russian spies being in Hawkins and I cant exactly tell anyone.

"Yeah...might have been too warm in the room last night or something," I lied and looked away from her, over to our sliding doors where the sun was already beating down.

I heard the chair across from mine move, I looked over just as she sat down with a small smile, "Was that Steve that dropped the two of you off last night?"

I rolled my eyes slightly, "It was."

She smiled, "See, he's not as bad now is he?"

I bit my lip, "Not as bad as high school but that doesn't mean he's been like...redeemed or something. Just means that Dustin looks up to him and I don't really have any other choice."

"Dustin is smart," she said easily, "he wouldn't get led astray by someone he didn't trust."

"Just because Dustin trusts him doesn't mean I have to, mom," I retorted, "I'm not going to ignore all the bad things I can associate to Steve Harrington just because of Dustin. I'll tolerate him and be nice, but you guys can't ask me to overlook everything."

She looked at me sadly, "LuLu...no one is saying that. Especially me. I remeber the day you came home school after that Tommy kid said Steve liked you...I remeber how upset you were. And those feeling were and still are extremely valid. You had every right to be upset.

"But sometimes, people do change. And people mature and grow up, and you should consider acknowledging that Steve might be doing just that, too," she told me gently, reaching across the table to touch my hand.

I sighed deeply, "I know, mom...I get that. I dunno...I think maybe I just want some sort of acknowledgement from him that he knows he made some of high school rough for me...I don't know if he even realizes it, and it's not something I would just randomly bring up to him, because that's weird," I said with a small smile.

"Well," she said heavily, "maybe that's something that you two can talk about at some point. But I just want you and Dusty to be happy, that's all that matters to me," she smiled.

I grinned, "I know."

"Whoa, Lou knows something? Alert the president," Dustin said from behind me.

I turned and looked behind me, "Yup, I know that I will always be taller than you."

He stared, unamused, "I'm sorry that you're literally the size of a toddler, but when I do get taller then you I'll make sure to carry you in my pocket," he said, walking over to me and patting my head.

I swatted his hand away but he switched hands and continued to pat my head. A second later it turned into us just swatting at each other's hands and calling each other names. It continued to escalate because no way in hell was my little brother going to get the upper hand.

"Don't touch me, you goof."

"Be quiet you jerk."

"You little shit head."

"No you're a shit head!"

"Kids!" mom exclaimed.

By this point I was standing, and had pinned Dustin's arms behind him and he had his leg wrapped around my leg trying to trip me. We looked up to the kitchen entryway and saw mom standing with the man himself, Steve.

Dustin and I relased each other, "When did you get here?" Dustin asked breathlessly.

I was breathing heavily after our little friendly tussle, "I knocked on the door and your mom let me in?" he said, holding a tray with three coffee cups.

Steve and I made eye contact and his eyes shifted down to my legs before immediately looking away from me. I looked down and remembered that my pjs consisted of black short shorts and a Bowie shirt.

I was instantly mortified.

"I'll be right back," I said with a blazing hot face.

I sped walked past Dustin, mom, and lastly Steve who's face might have rivalled mine in redness.

I ran to my bedroom and closed the door behind me.

I ran both my hands down my face. This was all I needed in my life. For my former crush/high school mean guy to see me in shorts that were too short for him to being seeing and an old worn out David Bowie shirt.

I pushed off my door and went to my dresser, pulling out a pair or jeans shorts and off the shoulder sweatshirt with my worn out converse shoes.

I composed myself and took a deep breath before heading out of my room and back to the kitchen, where Steve was sitting at the table with my mom and Dustin.

"LuLu!" mom happily said, "Steve said he was driving you and Dustin to the mall?"

I looked at the table set up and the only empty chair was next to Steve, I looked to Dustin and saw him grinning at me. Shithead.

I walked over and sat down quickly, "Yeah um, I wanted to see Robin. Don't really have the chance to see her now that she's working so, yeah."

Mom continued to smile at me and nodded, "Maybe she'll want to come over for dinner next week?"

"Maybe," I nodded.

Steve cleared his throat from next me, "I huh, got you a coffee. I wasnt sure what you took in it but your mom fixed it up," he said, sliding the white cup over to me.

"Oh! Okay, thank-you," I brought the cup up and took a sip.

"Well," my mom started, putting her hands on the table and pushing away, "I've got to head to work. Let me know if you two need a drive back from the mall on my way home."

Steve raised his hand, "I can drive them home, Mrs. Henderson," he told him, lowering his hand awkwardly.

She smiled sweetly at him, "Well isn't that nice, thank you, Steve. You two make sure you thank him for driving your butts around."

She pushed her chair back in and left the kitchen.

"Wait till you see the stuff I'm bringing-"

"Shh!" Steve and I both raised a hand to cut off Dustin's sentence. We heard the front door close and we both let our hands down.

"You trying to let mom hear about your spy gear that you're bringing to the mall or something, Dust?" I hissed.

"Seriously, we can't let your mom find out, man, keep it to just me, Louise and Robin," Steve agreed.

Dustin's mouth was still open, "Okay, well, I don't appreciate the sass from either one of you, if I'm being honest.

"Anyways," he dramatically stated adding an eye roll, "I brought binoculars so Steve and I can do some spying of our own."

I grinned and took a sip of my coffee, "Who's going to work on the message then?" Steve questioned.

I looked at him out of the corner of my eye, "Robin," Dustin and I stared at the same time.

Steve rolled his eyes but nodded in understanding, "Sure, where is Lou gonna be? With us?"

I looked over at him, "I'm gonna stay with Robin," I stated simply.

"Yeah, we can't exactly have three people running the mall looking for Russian spies, two is way more than enough," Dustin said sternly.

I nodded, "Exactly."

Again, Steve shrugged, "Okay, yeah, sure."

I pushed my chair away from the table, "Okay, well let's get this started then."

——

Dustin had taken Steve out of Scoops Ahoy the moment Robin stepped foot in the store. Dustin was absolutely adamant that they would be able to spot a spy amongst the throngs of people that were already congregated inside.

I was stationed in the back room and Robin was sitting on the back counter in the front of the store next to the open partition so we could play the recording and both be able to hear it.

Robin was twirling the pencil around her fingers when the shrill chime of the bell rang out. Robin closed her eyes and took a deep breath, I looked around her and saw Erica Sinclair, Lucas' little sister with a group of her friends. I babysat Erica on occasion and she called me, and everyone, a nerd.

She caught my eye and scrunched her face up at me before ringing the bell again, "Ahoy!" she yelled.

I moved my head only to see Robin staring blankly.

"Do you think she'll just go away?" she asked as the bell continued to be hit.

"Nope," I said with a pop.

Robin sighed and spun away from me, sliding easily off the counter.

"Yes?"

"I would like to try the peanut butter swirl, please," Erika told her with a phoney pleasantry to her voice.

"No, no more samples today," Robin replied with a entertained edge to her voice.

I looked around Robin and saw Erica's face drop, "Why not?"

"Because you're abusing our company policy."

Erica scoffed looking around the counter, "Where the sailor man?"

Robin started turning toward me with a small smile, "Sorry he can't help you, he's busy."

"Busy with what?" Erica asked confused.

Robin smiled at me before turning to face her and her friends once again, "Spy craft," she said simply.

"Then I'll come back when sailor man is back," Erica scoffed before turning and walking away with her friends.

Robin laughed as she faced me, "She will honestly make me stand here forever to serve her little tiny spoonfuls of ice cream."

I giggled and shrugged, "She's always been a bit sassy."

"Anyways," she sighed, "a trip to China sounds nice...what could this mean?"

"I'm not sure," I mused, "I get that it's a code you're not supposed to easily crack...but shit, this is insane."

She closed up the Russian to English dictionary and groaned, "I need a two minute rest because my brain is going to explode."

I nodded and hit pause on the recording, "Do you think Dustin and Steve have found anything yet?"

Robin hummed, "I honestly don't know. I mean, do you think Russian spies would just be hanging out in the mall where they're making secret codes?"

"No," I shook my head, "they would have somewhere secret to go...it wouldn't be in the open. They would have a secret entrance too, probably."

"Well if Steve on the case, he's probably trying to find the next girl to try his 'Ahoy ladies! Sail with me on this ocean of flavour,' opening line on," Robin said off handed.

I smirked, "Is that the line he's going with?"

"Yup. And he's struck out every single time," she said with a small chuckle, "so how has it been hanging around with him?"

"Conflicting," I admitted with a small smile.

"Why?"

I let our a deep breath, "Because I just...I still put Steve with Steve Harrington from high school. Jerk extraordinaire," I said with a small laugh, "but he hasn't been really coming across that way the past couple of days and it's messing with my brain a bit. He brought me a coffee this morning for Gods sake."

"He's dopey but he's not...as much of an asshole. Granted, I think everyone is a bit of an asshole..." she drifted off but it made me laugh and nod.

"I don't know," I whined, "it's like, I know in the past he's made me feel bad and embarrassed. But yesterday he made me laugh and he's been nice to me. But I'm constantly reminding myself of how shitty he made me feel to try and cancel out the okay feeling I've had."

Robin smiled sadly at me, "Trust me. It was hard for me to feel anything other than irritation for him when we started working together. But I've tried to separate high school Steve from this Steve and that's how I've been able to keep a level-ish head around him," she explained before rolling her eyes, "granted, like I've said, he can still be a giant moron and I'm a bit of an joking asshole to him...but he's not, you know...mean mean in return."

I leaned my head through the partition and rested my forehead on her shoulder with a huff, "We're bonded through this spy nonsense now, gonna have to get used to him a bit."

"Speaking of spy nonsense," Robin sighed before reaching out and hitting 'Play' on the recorder, "let's try and wrap this message decoding up."

—

Title credit to REO Speedwagon and gif credit to owner

#steve harrington #stranger things #stranger things imagine #dustin henderson #steve harrington x reader #netflix #steve harrington imagine

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tylerwritez · 3 years

Text

7:45 p.m. Sunday June 20th

Okay well... writing about the entirety of my day is gonna be. Quite the task.

Whatever. I'm dedicated to making this blog A Thing.

Today was Father's Day, so the first thing I did was get up and go downstairs. Gave my dad his presents. He made us pancakes. (I definitely ate too much today... but tommorow is monday so itll be easier to restrict)

We are, watched youtube, then we drove to Wabuman Lake. Idk,, the drive was just that: a typical car ride in which I struggle to find "car friendly" songs, aka songs that everyone will like... aka anything but metal and vocaloid... aka Radiohead, Weezer and Soda Stereo XD

When we got there, we rented a yellow paddleboat, which is this clunky plastic boat that you pedal to move, like some weird water bicycle. It was sunny, and honestly? I've always found being on the water to be calming. After that, we got ice cream (I got Blueberry Cheesecake flavour, my sister R got Cookies N Cream, and my dad got Burgundy Cherry)

I noted that there were at least 2 historical buildings there, along with... I forgot what I was gonna say. Nothing important.

Oh yeah, lots of cool old shiny cars.

We drove back. Got home, exhausted. I cleaned a bit. Idk. Didnt do much until after supper. Since we had fast food for lunch, we only ate a piece of bread and fruit smoothies for supper. We went out, I got a monster XD even tho my parents told me not to...

I got home, took a shower. While I was in the shower my dad got pissed at me for eating some of his chocolate but HE WAS SO SO SO MAD I was thinking to myself he cant be this mad over some choclate but you never know with my parents... they kinda hate me but also dont at the same time it's weird and hard to navigate.

Anwyays when I went downstairs he just. Seemed to have forgotten it ever existed and I mean, if he didnt mention it I wasn't gonna either. I did some homework then "went to sleep" aka went to my room, turned off the light, and pretended to sleep but actually talked to people online

People keep inviting me to hang out with them and I just hope my parents say yes to it all...

My friend Bee on Tuesday, Jay on Wednesday, on Saturday a group picnic...

If they say no to any of this I'll cry /hj

My talk with Jay tonight: I want to fuck him again RIGHT NOW. GET IN MY FUCKINF BED. RIGHT NOWWWW ugh. But also I noticed that since I explained one of my tone tags to him... HE USED ONE IN CONVO WITH ME. And idk. That made me so happy? I dont know. I like how he proves consistently and constantly that he CARES about being considerate and cares about me.

That's a lot of the letter C but yeah.

And he said at some point that he missed

My body... and my shitty nerd gaming stuff and like. Omg he LIKES MY INTERESTS. I DIDNT BORE HIM TALKING ABOUT COMIC BOOKS AND VIDEO GAMES! SCORE. also he said he'd be down to cuddle without fucking which is. Great too... since I'm touchstarved and well... I call him Daddy. Nuff said.

As for Star... sometimes she just says shit that concerns me like it's nothing and I never know how to respond because I cant help her! I'm not a fucking mental health professional.

... when I told her mY shit she wasnt one either... why do I even try n help. Why dont I just tell her to go to therapy?

I'm angry at her a bit actually. She says shit like "haha just purged" and I'm like.... okay??? What do u want me to say to that.

Or like,,, I NEED TONE TAGS, OKAY??? I DO. this is mainly why I'm mad. She keeps making jokes without /j and I dont register them as jokes.... or maybe they aren't jokes at all and she just says they're jokes cos I get upset.

Sometimes instead of actually telling me how she feels, she uses this emoticon and... I dont understand what shes tryna tell me. And it keeps stressing me out. Idk. I told her look I dont understand it and she said "I'm tired of this Jude, it's a fucking emoticon" and like...

She tells me all the time no ur not overreacting dont let people tell you that you are and here she is. Telling me I'm overreacting. OUCH. THAT ACTUALLY MADE ME CRY IRL. STOP INVALIDATING MY FEELINGS PLEASE.

It actually hurt me. Like I'm fr crying right now because. Ouch. How hard is it to just put a fucking "/j" after ur words? How hard is it to... use words and explain how u feel instead of giving me a straight faced emoticon. Its frustrating.

Also she keeps saying shit like "omg ur never horny what's wrong w u omg I'm the only one with a sex drive in this relationship how come u never initiate anything I need to fuck someone maybe *sends pic of model* maybe her" which like. A) is ignoring all the times I DID initiate stuff and B) makes me feel inadequate and like. I dont know. I'm tired of feeling like I'm not enough.

:/ I cant really be mad at her for my own brain being stupid.

Why am I so stupid? How come I never understand when people are joking? How come I have these weird things I do to feel comfortable? Why do I twitch and flap my wrists? Why is my ability to sleep restricted by the amount of weight on top of me (I need lots of weight)?

Why am I the worst person ever? I'm being 100 percent serious. My brain doesnt work! It doesnt. My emotions are too strong. They fuck everything up. I hate myself. Like, when Star said "I'm tired of this Jude, it's a fucking emoticon", I started crying. But when Jay said "I always want you to feel comfortable around me", I immediately felt such love toward him and I told him I love you... but I had to say it was as friends. Cos we have a "friends with benefits" thing going on... not even an actual relationship.

Well now I'm sad that he doesnt like me romantically but whatever. Hes too perfect and sweet anywayssss he deserves better than me.

Wait. Where does that leave me?

Alone? Again?

Alone?

ALONE????

Maybe I deserve it... but I actually genuinely cant live like that. I cant. I cant live. Without love. My parents fucked me up like that 🤪

But also I realized that I'm a lot happier in good relationships where people show me they love me and care about me and such.

FUCK JAY JUST TOLD ME HOW MUCH HE LIKES ME... even if it's just as a friendship thing.... I appreciate it so much. Hes so fucking sweet it hurts. I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM SO SO MUCH. he told me, our sex can be rough but our relationship has to be built off trust and respect... LITERALLY FUCK ME RIGHT NOW.

Update we are now officially "best friends forever" but we also kiss and fuck and cuddle okay. That's a thing. I LOVE HIM. it's okay though. I don't know I said yeah let's be bffs then I physcially cringed. It's okay though. I'll be fine. It functions as a sexy romance thing anwyays.

I love him so much. Hes the best. Fucking hell. Hes the kindest person ever.

Also can Star please stop fucking with me. She said she'd stop using the emoticon and I said "thanks" and then she used a weird emoji to react to my thanks because she wanted to "acknowledge that she read my message without liking it".... oh so you dont like it??? What??? I said "okay" and she was like "yikes, you upset?" And I said idk cos I am but whatever and she USED ANOTHER SFUPID DUCKINF EMOTICON THAT I DONT UNDERSTAND WITH THE WORD OKAY OMFG. OMFG. PLEASE EXPLAIN WHAT THAT MEANDS. OH MY GODDDD. I'm angry.

Fucking hell. I just wish... whatever.

If Jay liked me ROMANTICALLY as well... perfect life.

Whatever.

My parents have fucked me up really badly. I know so. Today I saw a comic where a kid started crying while getting yelled at and their mom HUGGED THEM. Omfg. If I cry when my parents yell at me they just yell more. The best thing I can do is stay quiet. Fucking hell. Fuck. I wish I got hugged. When I was upset.

Its 1:03 am. Fuck all this emotional turmoil I'm SLEEPING. Fuck this. FUCK MY PARENTS, FUCK STAR, FUCK MOVING AND FUCK SCHOOL. And FUCK STAR.

#JudeJournals #judejournals

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sanguinarius-archive · 4 years

Note

Hey! Could I get to know some of your headcanons about dickfigures/your designs for them? :D

ya ya sure!!!!

i already have my designs for them up if you havent seen, here they are!

as for headcanons idk how long this post will be so ill just add a read more for anyone who might not wanna scroll thru it all lol

red!!!!!

his real name is rowan bc i thought it was cute, also it means “little red one” which is eVEN BETTER

he’s nonbinary masc and bisexual! the self projection is REAL

he has adhd

most of my headcanons kinda flow into my own version of dick figures because i’m not very Satisfied with canon NJSJDNSKM so like. for example red doesn’t just kill people or whatever. he gets into fights and has scars and wears bandaids a lot bc of them

he graduated college with blue, he got a bachelor’s degree in fine arts (honestly idk how college works bc im a grade 10 baby so if thats like totally wrong just let me know also im. canadian so idk how american school system works LOL)

red got suspended a lot in high school but never expelled. mostly bc he got in fights that were mainly him protecting stacey from shitty people (he sees her as his sister so he was rlly protective) and the school wasnt really sure what else to do so they just. you know. suspended him a bunch of times hoping itd do something but it didnt

he hates his dad! reason being is bc when he was born, his dad was actually an alien able to disguise himself as human, so he wanted to take red back to his home planet cuz red turned out to be more powerful than anything his dad had ever seen. but red’s mom was like Nope, so she snuck out with him and his plush cat (kitty amazing) and they were never found. red is very close with his mom and is scared of his dad coming back someday

we know he canonically likes rlly loud music so im just gonna project here and say he’s a metalhead. at least, some form of it. he likes the alt scene music and industrial rock. examples being deftones, nine inch nails, skinny puppy, rage against the machine, kittie and others. it keeps him focused and calm

bLUE!!!

we know blue was bullied as a kid but i dont wanna say red also bullied him bc i feel like thats just wrong to me? MAYBE ITS NOT ACTUALLY but it just makes me sad so like. lets say red, being as protective as he is, stood up for blue a lot cuz he was like “oh this kid cant fight” so he knew what to do

blue dated pink for awhile but they mutually agreed to break up after blue realized this wasnt what he wanted (he came to the conclusion that he was gay, well, he knew for awhile but it was Internalized Homophobia)

he grew up in a very conservative family so to see the world completely differently by meeting red, ems (lt), pink and stacey was a very good thing for him. unfortunately even tho his family did love him, it was conditional so they stopped talking to him after he came out. thankfully he’d already graduated high school by that point

despite being emotional blue isn’t very good at understanding how he’s an emotional person. he’s able to distinct one feeling from another and analyze them, but it’s just... hard for him to kind of. process WHY he feels a certain way? which is what’s led to a lot of his struggles in getting closer with ppl

he loooves reading and writing we already know this but i mean come on. he also got a bachelor’s degree in english/ela. so he’s able to become a teacher ig but he doesn’t really want to? at least not for awhile yet

blue was ems’ first friend. at first he couldn’t understand why they had tics but decided he shouldn’t get into someone else’s business. he didn’t find it weird, just cool!

he and red would always pair up for projects if they had classes together!!!!!! blue would do the writing/research and red would do the illustrations. they always turned out really good even if it ended with red cramming it at the last minute

surprisingly hates broseph more than red. well i mean its not surprising, because broseph was always a huge DICK to him

blue’s real name is wyatt!!!!! i forget the meaning but i felt the sound of it and the meaning fit him well

piiiiink!!!!!!!!!!

she’s still in college, getting her doctorate to be an astrophysicist!

pink is very very smart and will help anyone who’s struggling with something in school. she was basically the genius who always got in the honor roll every year. but, she actually was really anxious especially with exams

pink encourages stacey to go back to school, and sometimes stacey does, but she always ends up leaving again. it’s a little stressful but pink has hope for her

she’s never drank one sip of alcohol in her entire life. she smoked weed once, but it felt weird so she didn’t do it again

ever since she and blue broke up she’s been very supportive of him bc she herself is bisexual!!! so she sees nothing weird about it. in fact, about almost a year later she started dating stacey

pink’s real name is lily. when she became friends with blue she met red through him and she was like “can i join your nickname thing” and they said “sure” so they called her pink. stacey sometimes calls her pinky or just pink but mostly lily

pink helped red with academics. even tho he was sometimes insufferable to work with (/j thats a Joke i promise she’s a very patient person) she didn’t give up on him!!!! in return he helped her out with some fitness stuff cuz pink was always insecure about gym, and later when she graduated she actually got into exercising bc of red!

she loves travelling and going for walks. she owns a lot of houseplants and she’s given them all names and takes very good care of them! she also owns an albino ball python named Velvet

STACEYYY!!!!!!!

stacey is nOT actually all about sex this time ok. i don’t like that. i mean she did have some personality in canon but it wasn’t much? anyways she just really likes to express herself thru tight/”risque” clothing like fishnets and leather and pleated skirts and thigh-highs and platform boots, all of that. basically she’s a goth girl but doesn’t really “act” like one

she’s really intelligent when it comes to animals and insects and will tell you anything you need to know. when she goes back to college she gets a degree in environmental science

stacey can play the electric and bass guitars!!!! she was in a band back in high school but it never really went anywhere beyond performances at parties in someone’s garage. not that she didn’t like it, looking back on it makes her feel happy, but she wished it continued. probably why she has a hard time going back to college bc she’s not sure what she really wants

stacey is a trans woman btw!!!!! unfortunately it was a little difficult in high school to be who she was bc some kids were jerks, but there were a lot of others who supported her which is good

she views red as her brother as well and they still hang out a lot

i haven’t really had time to focus on stacey and make headcanons and stuff for her so i don’t have a lot but... let’s say, secretly, she’s a scifi nerd. and for the sake of debate, let’s say she’s a marvel fan. if you count being a fan of deadpool as being a fan of marvel

LOVES GIRLS.... loves pink!!!

has very similar music taste to red’s!!!!!

emssss!!!!!!! (lt)

instead of being a stereotype of ppl with tourette’s syndrome, it’s just a normal thing that isn’t focused on a whole lot. it doesn’t make ems swear but if they get really really frustrated they’ll curse while doing one of their tics

ems is agender, i’d say they’re also ageless but i don’t really want to make them too “nonhuman” because i feel like that’s dehumanizing to people with tourette’s. so let’s just say most laws of existence don’t apply to them

they’re very friendly!

they’re an aspiring musician, just like in canon

ems is also big into horror movies believe it or not. they’re pretty critical of them though like most horror movie fans, and only like specific ones (i’m not a horror movie fan myself so i can’t say what Specific Ones they like ajsdhbjn just imagine they have good taste okay)

they r very artsy too and like doing crafts cause it gives them something to focus on. it’s just a hobby though it’s not something they’re Professional at

they love nature and flowers and trees and all kinds of plants and animals!!! they like to document what they see when they travel thru nature and stuff so they bring a camera with them (and their phone, but, you know whatever)

ems was never really affected by things people said to them regarding their syndrome. to them it was something they were born with, so they couldn’t bother to feel bad about themselves. in certain situations theyre able to control it but 90% of the time they don’t care about what ppl think

aaaand there u go!!! as for minor characters like raccoon, jason/trollz0r, broseph, dingleberry, they all exist (raccoon isnt a racist stereotype tho), i just dont focus on them a whole lot. most of my hcs for stacey and ems here were thought up on the spot since i havent had time to lay out all my ideas for them but i hope what i have here is good !!!!

also, red and blue ARE dating, and pink and stacey ARE ALSO dating. gay rights

#asks #dick figures #Anonymous

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esmiblood90irisglimmer · 5 years

Text

Say No To This (Eliza Version/Role-Reverse)

Disclaimers: LONG FANFIC!!!

Theodosia POV

Another warm summer night engulfed the city NYC where I began yawning and realizing it was already past ten o'clock. Deciding to wrap things up by going through one last files one last time before going home. Knowing Aaron would be worry sick that I stay longer at work than I’ve intentionally. Oh well, at least I can have my handsome holding me in his strong arms. Just thinking about me make me blush and giddy all shyly, which I know it’s stupid for a grown woman to be acting like a teenage girl again. Hey, that’s love for you especially being married to the man or women you’ve been for more than a decade. It’s a magical experience when you created the wondrous memories as a married couple. There’s going to be ups and downs and which is part of life and you just have to accept it. Even when you’re in complete denial. Which I could say for a certain I know that writing completely non-stop at the office next door.

You see, my old friend my dearest Elizabeth Schuyler Hamilton is working her ass off to the brink of exhaustion. I worry about her but knowingly how stubborn and hard headed she can be sometimes. I often worry about her physical and mental state. I hope she doesn’t scare me like last month when she was buried alive under all those paperworks. That woman is seriously gonna give me a heart attack one these days. Anyway, as a good friend basically the mother friend of our group. I always tend to check up on her before leaving the office. Knowing that her answer will be that she’ll be spending another night here at the orphanage. I wasn’t going to argue with her about it but still at least take one day off. Then again it has taken her husband almost a decade to finally take a break from work. Well, like wife, like husband as some may say.

I see her with papers scatter around the desk with multiple profile of some the new orphanages we receive from other states. Lightly knocking on the door which caught Eliza attention which she given me her usual soft smile.

“Yes, Mrs. Burr. Is there anything you need?” she asks

“No, I’m letting you know that I’m heading home now. It’s already past ten o’clock so Aaron is probably worry sick about me”

Eliza chuckle lightly before understanding that Aaron is a bit overprotective of me but in a cute way. Deep inside her heart she was longing for the company of Alexander but he and their children were at Upstate. Apparently, visiting her father until catching up with Lafayette mid-way through the journey to South Carolina. They wanted surprise John with a visit of their own unannounced. I can understand her loneliness but she made the choice to stay behind for the orphanage and for me. We share our goodbyes before taking my leave as I left the door to be locked. Since I didn’t want any strangers or psycho manic having the intention to murder my innocent friend. Anyway, during my walk on the way I notice a tall male with a noticeable black eye. I whine on the inside feeling that he either got it from a bar fight or from his wife.

Domestic abuse isn’t uncommon sadly and seeing the abuse victim walking toward to our orphanage is heartbreaking but brave as well. What weird about him is that he’s wearing a large black hat with a long black coat. Perhaps to cover the bruises and the scars he received from his spouse. But that one thing stood out from his outfit was a tight red shirt that would grasp on his muscular chest. Ignoring my appearance despite me waving at him to be polite but I didn’t care. He continue to walk toward the direction of the orphanage before looking at the window in which located Eliza office. It made my heart skip a beat just for a moment but there wasn’t I couldn’t do since I’m off work.

Walking away from the scene as I pray deeply that this doesn’t become that I think would lead to. I hope that Eliza doesn’t do something stupid that would cost her marriage. Then again, our Lord works in mysterious ways than beyond our imagination. I simply shrug and ignore the tangles of knot that bewling with one gut to another.

Theodosia Sr

There’s nothing like summer in the city.

Someone under stress meets someone looking sexy

There’s trouble in the air, you can smell it

And Eliza is by herself....

I’ll let her tell it

Eliza POV

I was left alone in this semi-huge orphanage just by myself working on each of the children files. Just the ones that I’m assign to but that wasn’t enough. By that, I mean the only ones here are the servants on night shift. They look after the kids making they’re sleeping peacefully. Or looking after the ones that were deeply sicks and so they manage their medication from here and there. Sighing to myself out of despair as I thought about my darling Alexander and my friendly Lafayette. They decided to go Upstate in order to visit my father since the children dearly misses him. Along with the midsummer is when they’re going to visit Laurens in South Carolina since it been so long since they last met. Mulligan is going to meet on the middle part of the journey since it would be nice to create a surprise visit for John. It’s nice to know that they all have each others but Angelica and I are separated from miles apart. Not to mention...I lost Peggy from the war after she was shot..from a signal gunshot wound. Sacrificing her life for an innocent child that had nothing to do with it. Except being a daughter of a sl....I can’t bring myself to say it. But yes, that event change me and Angelica a lot especially toward my father who clearly cherish her since she is one of his beloved daughters.

Leaving behind her husband and beautiful son behind but we still visit them but enough of the depress thing. I harshly rubbed my eyes as I been here at my office for a week. Brushing my fingers into my semi greasy hair and thought I should go home as well. Packing my things up as I thought about Alexander just holding in his arms. As we share the bed we slept in together. Or having Lafayette just escorting me around the city while trying to make me laugh. His corny jokes somehow manage to make me laugh from here and there. Just would’ve been nice to have one of them here by my side. Until I heard a knock from downstairs.

Eliza

I haven’t slept in a week

I was weak, I awake

When I’m alone in my room, sometimes I stare at the wall

Longing for Lafayette, Missing my Alexander

I heard a knock on the door, I knew it wasn't my husband That’s when Mister James Reynolds walked into my life He said:

Walking downstairs before opening the door to see a tall man with a large black hat and long black coat. Quite an odd outfit but I brush it off. I notice the black eye on his face which aches my heart. Knowing that this black eye must’ve come from his abusive spouse. I offer him some tea as we discuss in the living room before introducing himself to be Mr. James Reynolds. Which he announce his reasonings of why coming to the orphanage so late at night.

James Reynolds

I know you are a woman of honor

I’m so sorry to bother you at home

But I don’t know where to go

And I came here all alone...

Eliza:

He said...

James Reynolds

My wife been doing me wrong

Beating me...

Cheating me...

Mistreating me...

Suddenly, she up and gone

And, I don’t have the means to go on

I felt extremely upset to know about this poor going through an abusive marriage. Not to mention that he has a young daughter only about five years old. Wondering how could I help this man and his daughter as well. Giving me the facts that she comes and goes from three days to weeks, lead to months from on end. Decided to give him some extra crash that I’ve stock away in her desk drawer. Pulling out approximately about thirty bucks which is quite a lot back then. Thirty bucks could’ve equivalent to like a hundreds. Then again it’s the 1700s, so it wasn’t an issue trying to store a few extra cash. Giving, Mr. Reynolds the money to see that he’s very grateful that anyone would loan him such a large amount of money. Wiping the tears of joy away before leaning his arm to hold onto. Well, I didn’t see a problem for a woman to escort a find young man home.

Eliza:

So I offered him a loan, I offered to walk him home, he said

James Reynolds:

You’re too kind mam

Eliza

I gave him thirty bucks that I have stock away

He lived a block away, he said:

James Reynolds:

This one’s mine, mam

Surprisingly the the orphanage isn’t that too far off from where Reynolds live at. Then again, he live only a block away so it was only a short ten minutes. I would stand outside just letting the kind man to enter inside his house safe and sound. Hopefully, his wife is either asleep or isn’t home at the moment which brought a tight knot in my stomach.Then, i could go home and take a long hot bath and probably take the day off tomorrow. Since I haven’t slept nor bathe in a week. So, I probably smell very sticky which isn’t very ladylike of me. Turning away as I started to walk in the direction of where my home was. About to take my leave I felt James hand grabbing my own with a light blush on his face. Veryly confuse, as I didn’t prepare myself of what was about to happen next.

Eliza:

Then I said, “well, I should head back home,” He turned red, He led me to his bed Place me between his legs and said:

James Reynolds:

Stay?

Eliza:

H...Hey...

James Reynolds:

Hey...

Not even knowing what just till the last second is when I’m between Reynolds legs. With his arms around my waist as I lay on top of his bare. Apparently, I must’ve believe that he unbutton his red shirt during the time I went blank. Feeling my entire body heating up and my face turning into cherry red. Wasn’t sure how I magically escape from the grasp of his arms but that wasn’t the case. As a married woman and Reynolds being a married man shouldn’t doing something so sinful. Not to mention, I have Alexander and can’t let myself be the one to break his heart. Reaching toward the door but before getting the grasp on the knob. Reynolds held me from behind just my heart accelerating and my body hitting once again.

Feeling his lips just leaving butterflies kissing across my neck to the my bare shoulders. Barely knowledge that this man has strip my dress off my body. Leaving me in my closet and others underclothing just leaving me to shiver. Turning me around as I face this man in the eyes but adirmating his bare chest. Lightly breathing heavily but soon I mentally slap myself. Telling myself that I have a husband and children nevertheless. This devilish man has this sinfully smirk as he place his chest just feeling his heart beating.

Eliza: That’s when I began to pray:

Lord, show me how to

Say no to this

I don’t know how to

Say no to this

But my god, he looks so helpless

And his body’s saying “hell yes”

James Reynolds:

Whoa...

Eliza:

Lord, show me how to

Eliza/ Ensemble (Aka the fandom): Say no to this

Trying to put my dress back on and get the heck out there but Reynolds has other plans. Holding me closer to him as our lips were just meter aparts just barely brushing each others. The grids in my mind were grinding wildly just telling me “Get the hell out of there”. But I couldn’t feel my body, didn’t have the courage to pull away. That wasn’t the case...I didn’t want to push myself away from this find man. Turning my face away for a moment. Until, I felt him lifting my chin up just meeting my gaze to his before leaning. His lips against my own just made everything I have thought just few out the window. Before he lead me to the once again.

Eliza: I don’t know how to Eliza/ The fandom Say no to this Eliza: In my mind, I’m tryin’ to go The Fandom: Go! Go! Go!

Eliza: Then his mouth is on mine, and I don’t say…

Throughout the entire time I spent with this stranger of man just letting him pleasure. Just forgetting Alexander, Lafayette, Angelica, the kids. Basically just everyone I’ve ever knew as he and I done it in his bed. At his house, where his wife could’ve walk in on us but I didn’t care. I was alone and longing for companion. But my mind is screaming me with rage literally scolding for doing a cruel act. Letting myself get involved in adultery that I’ll soon regretted later on.

The Fandom:

No! No! Say no to this!

Third POV

Unaware by his wife adultery with another married man, Alexander Hamilton a proud father and helpless husband. Smiling happily while looking at the pendant that his late younger sister- in law, Peggy gave to him. It was originally a birthday gift but the widely woman decided to give this little gremlin as a wedding. Chucking by the memories of the late Peggy but blush while smiling a little. It was a picture of him and Eliza on their wedding day which brought warm memories to him. That day brought heartbreaks to both Lafayette and Laurens. As the French general has fallen deeply in love with Elizabeth Schuyler but given her up for his brother. While John is in love with his best friend but was already marriage and have a daughter of his own. Still, they wanted to see this Caribbean immigrant keeping a beautiful smile while basketing his love for Eliza.

The Hamilsquad has finally reunited after being seperated from the war for far too long. Which has been nearly a decade or more since the four men last saw each others. Apparently, Burr is suppose to meet up with the others at Lauren house but wasn’t able to at the last minute. As his daughter has gotten ill which is terrible for a child to be sick during the summer. Anyway, nearly getting side tracked as the four males were playing around with the children. Dancing with them, playing with them, and etc. As the children run around Alexander pull his pendant. Staring at the picture at his beautiful as he felt helpless once again after all these years during their marriage.

Alexander / The Fandom:

Helpless!!

(Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey)

Looking into your eyes

And the sky’s the limit

(Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey)

I’m helpless

(Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey)

Lafayette saw his brother smile weakly while spinning around like the lovesick puppy that Hamilton is. Walking away from the immigrant as the French male heart tighten a bit knowing fully well that Eliza will never be his. He has come to terms with it but still heartbroken after all these years. Now, married with another woman in France with children of their own. Yet, Lafayette still loves Eliza and that would never change. Even that meant marrying someone else. As one brother is smiling happily with hearts flying around him as the other brother was staring out the window. A single tear rolled down his caramel skin before brushing it away in order not to let others know.

Alexander/Lafayette

Will she ever be satisfied?

(Down for the count,

And I’m

Drowning’ in them)

She will never be satisfied

Back at New York is where both men were unaware that Eliza is sleeping with another married man. But also growing mutual feelings for him as well. As Eliza woken up from his bed in shock and disgusted with herself for letting this happen. Trying to break it off and made sure this was a one time only moment. Well ain’t that fantasy that Eliza suddenly ask for too much. As the guilt and regrets will arrive years later and she won’t even how the affair being leak out. Though she didn’t care and immediately left the house luckily, no one was around to started ridiculous gossip. Heading straight home to take a bath and sleep hopefully this is the final counter she’ll have with Reynolds. Or so she thought.

Eliza: I wish I could say that was the last time I said that last time. It became a pastime A month into this endeavor I received a letter From a Mrs. Maria Reynolds, even better, it said: Maria: Dear Madam, I hope this letter finds you in good health And in a prosperous enough position to put wealth In the pockets of people like me: down on their luck You see, that was my husband who you decided to Eliza: Shhhh—

A month past by and her affair with Reynolds continue and escalated to him spending multiple night at her house. As they slept on the same bed that she with her darling Alexander. No matter how many time she wanted to call this affair off. Reynolds always seduce her back into his arms by that charming and charismatic attitude of his. Those methods always make her legs jelly and wobbling. It lead them to exchanging tiny little love letters from here and there. Until one day, at her office Theodosia brought her letter which was sent from Mrs. Maria Reynolds. Feeling her blood run before locking the door. Reading the telegrams which is promptly by none other than Reynolds wife. Claiming that she knows about the affair and herself as well. A large lump began to form in his throat as she continue reading the paper. Feeling that dark presented behind Eliza back just feeling Maria mocking her for sleeping with her own husband.

Yet, that not even the worst part.

Maria: Uh-oh! You made the wrong sucker a cuckold So time to pay the piper for the dress you stripped And hey, you can keep seeing’ that piece of shit If the price is right: if not I’m telling your man

Straight up blackmailing the young wife that if she doesn’t pay in the correct. This other wife would spill the details to her Alexander. In pure anger, she races out of her office but not without leaving confuse looks on her coworkers face’s. Nearly running toward Reynolds house as she proudly let herself to slam the door shut harshly. Racing toward upstairs as I saw James right before myself as I proceeded to slap him hard across the face. Shock but also hurt by this reaction as Eliza shove the letter in front of the man’s face.

Eliza: I hid the letter and I raced to his place Screamed

“How could you?!”

in his face He said: James No, Mam!!

Eliza:

Half dressed, apologetic. A mess, he looked

Pathetic, he cried:

James:

Please don’t go, mam!

Not caring if this man was even half naked or half dress in front of her. This affair is officially over but Reynolds grabbed Eliza’s hand. Not wanting to lose of what they have during the entire period of summer. Pulling herself away from this man with a look of anger spreading on her expression. Whimpering on the inside as Reynolds never saw this side of Eliza before. She was so kind and thoughtful toward him. Never forgetting her generosity to donated a large sum of money just for his daughter Susan. Holding Eliza in his arms once again but this married woman firmly pushes herself out of his reach. Tears were streaming down his face before on his knees. Betting this kind hearted woman to not leave him alone with his wife. Despite not knowing either he was serious or was all of this an act.

Eliza:

So was your whole story a setup?

James:

I don’t know about any letter!

Eliza:

Stop crying

God damnit, get up!

James:

I didn’t know any better

Eliza:

I am ruined...

Frantically pulling her hair while her own tears flooded her face. Realizing that consequences of what this affair leading to. This could ruin an entire innocent happy marriage and another marriage leading to a divorce in court. Both of them panicking as Maria has full control of them especially Eliza. Since she did indeed fallen trip into their spider webs of lies. The married man tries to persuade to stay with in his arms. Work before and show work again. Doesn’t need any other woman but her at the time being. Even it may cost him his life. Holding her into his arms once again while wiping her tears away with a soft touch.

Eliza / James:

Please don’t leave me with her, I’m helpless

(I am helpless—how could I do this?)

Just give her what he wants and you can have me

Eliza:

I don’t want you

James:

What?

Eliza:

I don’t want you

James/Eliza

Whatever you want (I don’t...)

If you pay,

You can

Stay!!!!

Eliza wanted to pull away but didn’t have the strength nor the energy to do so. Letting Reynolds cherish her one last time. Clinging onto him before letting the small kisses into full on make out. Which them on the bed once again. Just like how the first night when they first met. Eliza feeling regretful but yet a bit satisfied about this affair. Not sure why...she didn’t even know her self. They just want the pleasurable moment for one last time.

Eliza

Lord, show me how to

Say no to this

I don’t know how to

Say no to this

Cause the situation is helpless

And his body screaming “hell yes”

Lord, show me how to

Say no to this

Eliza/James

How can I say not to this?!

Eliza:

There is nowhere I can go?!

When his body on mine I do not say

Sharing a kisses from here and there from the lips, neck, and other sort etc. James notice a matching pendant around Eliza neck. Open by itself to see the man that Eliza is currently married to in made him freeze for a moment. Just staring at the picture on the day on this woman married her husband. Shaking lightly before shutting it quickly just wanting to get this over this. That picture suddenly began mocking him. Feeling this affair might put a tired on Eliza marriage with Alexander. Which he praise that doesn't happen. Which it's rare to have this emotions that he never had before.

Still both Reynolds and Eliza mind were screaming at them.Telling these two adults that “NO! This isn’t right” basic stuff. That both of them knew but decided to ignore it.

Eliza/James/The Fandom

Yes (Yes!)

Say no to this!

No!

Yes (Yes!)

Say no to this!

No!

Yes (Yes!)

Say no to this!

No!

Yes (Yes!)

Say no to this!

After this finally orderal, Eliza slowly and shamefully getting dressed as Reynolds lay in bed. Not looking at each others seem to be the best choice at the moment. Eliza wiped a few tears feeling so dirty and disgusted with herself. Her actions. Hopefully that she can put this in the past. And forget that it ever happen in the first place. Pulling out two envelope from the pocket of her dress. Both fill with crash.

Eliza:

Say no to this...

I don’t

Eliza/James:

Say no to this

Eliza:

There is nowhere I can go

The fandom:

Go, Go, Go

Right before her stood Maria Reynolds at the doorway with a little girl by her side. Apparently, this is their daughter that James mention before. Wearing a beautiful red dress that seem to share the same color and color of her husband shirt. Having a smug look on her face full aware of what just happened since this bedroom. But she could care less since its the money she need for a lawyer during a divorce court. But sweet little Eliza doesn’t need to know about that.

Maria:

So?

The other married woman sigh in defeat as she place the two full envelope on Maria hands. About thousands dollars in total. Looking down as the child stare at in confusion and curious of what was happening. But her innocent must be protected and so for that. The deed has been done and all of this affair is just hush hush. Racing out of the house in a rush with tears threatening to leave her eyes. Returning back to the orphanage in an hour as Theodosia, Martha, Dolley didn’t notice her return. Until hearing you close the door to her office and locking it. Her back was press against the wood before sliding down as she held her knee tightly. Tears spring down to the fabric of her dress before quietly whisper to herself.

“Nobody needs to know”

Nearly given up writing this fanfic but I made myself to finish. But yeah.. hope y'all enjoy

#hamilton #hamiltrash #Hamilton fanfic #Say no to this #elizabeth hamilton #Alexander Hamilton #John Laurens #Lafayette #Hercules Mulligan #romance #affair #drama #guilty #regrets #james reynolds #Maria Reynolds #Role-Reverse

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camillemontespan · 5 years

Text

the epiphany [AU. drake walker x MC]

Set on the evening of the 'The Awakening'. I wrote that Drake and Camille had had a fight before he went to her apartment to fix things, so here is what happened :) p.s I realised halfway through that in the other parts of the fic, Camille had never been to Drake’s before. I forgot that she had (bad planning on my part, sorry!) So let’s just ignore it, act like she had been to his apartment briefly. Cool.

The sleek black town car pulled up in front of Camille's brownstone, right on schedule. 7pm. Camille checked her reflection in the mirror. Her dark hair was tousled and her eye makeup smokey. She reapplied her nude lipstick before grabbing her silver clutch and left the apartment.

Liam was waiting for her in the town car. He was dressed up, wearing a black suit. 'You look fancy,' she said, slipping into the car beside him. 'You look gorgeous,' he replied, kissing her cheek before signalling to his driver to head to the restaurant. It was a new restaurant on the Upper East Side and Liam had been keen to take her so they could try something new.

He had been taking her on dates for the past month and they had been lovely dates, she wouldn’t dispute that, but she felt something was off. As in, with her. But she wasn’t sure what.

The car pulled up outside the restaurant and Liam helped her out. ‘I got us the best table in the house,’ he told her, smiling. The restaurant was decked out in green marble, dark wood tables and downlights. The waiter led them out on the terrace where a single table was stood, overlooking the view of the city skyline. ‘Wow...’ Camille breathed. Liam smiled and drew out her chair. They settled down and Liam ordered a bottle of Dom Perignon. Camille tried her best to hide her wince; she hated it when he flashed the cash, but that was how he was. The son of a technology mogul who had counted Steve Jobs as a close friend and a mother who was an ex-Victoria’s Secret model, Liam had been used to a lavish lifestyle all of his life. He had gone to Princeton, graduated first in his class and had went on to work on Wall Street. Whenever he took Camille out, it was bottles of champagne and caviar all night. At first, she had insisted they split the bill but when she saw the amount, she had awkwardly admitted that her half of the bill was her rent. Liam had happily paid and he had continued to pay every time they had a date. She wished he would just take her to a normal place or even just a bar where they could shoot pool but they never did.

They sat and talked about work, new gallery exhibitions in the city and food. It was nice conversation but that was all it was. Nice. As he talked about his boss, Camille’s thoughts wandered away from the conversation and she found herself thinking about Drake.

Liam’s best friend. The guy she hadn’t exactly gotten along with at first but they suddenly started to talk more, before they began hanging out together alone. Drake was so different from Liam. He was friendly, of course, but he had these walls up which made it hard to get past the rough edges of him. But Camille had persevered and she found that he was a softie under the tough exterior. He had admitted one night when they were a little drunk that he had a crush on her and he often called her by her last name, Montespan, to stop her from getting close. It was when they were strolling through Central Park a few weeks ago that their hands brushed and they were suddenly holding hands. Drake had let out a breath, as if he had been holding it in, and Camille realised that he had wanted to hold her hand the whole time. She felt weirdly happy about that.

She wondered what Drake would think of this restaurant. No, she knew. Beautiful view but pretentious food and ridiculously expensive. Plus he hated marble. He felt it was too cold. He preferred dive bars and small restaurants with hearty dishes. She didn’t even know if he knew how to pronounce Dom Perignon.

She wished he was there with her right now.

Camille blinked at the realisation and dropped her fork. ‘Camille? You okay?’ She nodded mutely. ‘Yeah. Yeah. Um, Liam... I have to go, I’m sorry. I’ve got to be in early to work tomorrow, I’m sorry, I just remembered my boss wants me to sort out his meetings for the rest of the year...’ She gathered up her coat and bag. Liam sighed. ‘No worries, Camille,’ he said gently. She couldn’t tell if he believed her or not.

She managed to blag her way out of getting back into his car, as he was insisting on dropping her home, and when he was gone, she hailed a cab. She had been to Drake’s once before, very briefly, but she remembered his address.

Drake had been planning to drink whiskey until he was black out drunk. He had had one glass so far, not feeling the effects but hey, the night was still young. He knew that Liam was taking Camille out tonight. Liam had been telling him about this new restaurant in the Upper East Side which to Drake, sounded expensive and pretentious. He had a feeling Camille would think the same. She wasn’t like the girls Liam dated - she actually enjoyed crappy dive bars. Drake had been drinking to get drunk because it would help take his mind off her. At least for a night. Then he would wake up tomorrow, hungover and still in love with her. But he couldn’t have her.

His apartment buzzed and he frowned. He wasn’t expecting visitors. He pressed the speaker. ‘Hello?’ ‘Drake, it’s me, Camille.’ He froze. What was she doing here? How did she remember where he lived? ‘Um... come up?’ He buzzed her in and opened the door, watching the elevator flash as she got inside and it made its way up to his apartment. The doors opened and there she was. She was crying. ‘Camille?’ She sniffed and rubbed her eyes, smearing her eyeliner. ‘Drake, I can’t keep dating him. It’s too hard.’ Drake beckoned her inside the apartment and gave her a hug. ‘Camille, it’s okay.’ She shook her head. ‘It’s not. It was so obvious tonight - I zoned out and started thinking about you and how I wished you were there instead and oh God, I made this ridiculous excuse about working early tomorrow. I feel so bad, but he bought the champagne and he got a table with the view, but it’s just not me! I’m not that kind of girl, I hate being wined and dined! I wanted to be with you.’ She choked and her eyes filled with fresh tears and Drake’s heart ached for her. He pulled her in close, holding her gently. He didn’t know what to do.

‘Do you want some water? Or tea?’ he asked. He had heard that tea apparently solved everything. She looked up at him. ‘Do you have anything stronger?’ He pointed at the bottle of whiskey on the coffee table. ‘Be my guest.’

She poured a glass and leaned against the sideboard. ‘I’m sorry to burst in here. You were having a quiet night.’ ‘Don’t worry, Montespan,’ he said. ‘Are you alright?’ She was studying the floor, frowning. She looked up suddenly. ‘Drake, do you love me?’ His eyes widened. ‘Oh. Um. Well-’ ‘Because I love you.’ Drake stepped back, catching himself on the wall. He was not expecting that. At all. ‘Camille, are you drunk?’ She stared at him. ‘Are you fucking kidding me?’ He held up his hands. ‘Sorry, sorry! It’s just... that was unexpected.’ ‘So you don’t love me,’ she said quietly. Drake moved to her. ‘Camille, god, I’m going to regret saying this. I do. I love you.’ She looked up at him, her eyes full of hope. ‘You do?’ He nodded. His heart was breaking right now. ‘I love you. But I can’t be with you.’

Her breath caught and she looked at him, her chest rising and falling quickly. ‘Why?’ ‘Because you should be with Liam. He is the one for you. He can look after you. He can make you happy-’ ‘But you make me happy!’ ‘I meant long-term. He is worthy of you. I’m not. I won’t bring you down Camille, I refuse to. He won’t do that. You should be with him.’ He couldn’t believe he was trying to convince her not to be with him. After the months of sleepless nights, those private moments with her when he wanted to just kiss her, hold her, tell her he cared for her, he was telling her to be with his best friend instead. After all of that heartache. Drake felt like his heart was splitting.

‘How dare you, Drake?’ she started, her eyes wide. ‘How fucking DARE you? You have no right to tell me who to be with or how I can be happy. Do you realise you make me happy? You, Drake Walker? I thought that maybe we could start something, be together, see how it went, but you won’t even consider it!’

‘I can’t betray Liam,’ Drake explained. ‘he really likes you.’ ‘Liam will get over it,’ Camille spat. ‘He’s nice, attractive, rich. Girls will fall over themselves to be with him.’ ‘Camille, think. You don’t want to be with me. Trust me, I’m not boyfriend material.’ ‘Why are you trying so hard to convince me? Would you rather I hated you?’ ‘No, but please, try and understand-’ ‘I can’t understand. I don’t want to be with Liam. I want to be with you,’ she said, stepping closer, getting close to his face. Her eyes were filled with anger. ‘I love you. But you keep throwing it back in my face.’ ‘Camille-’ He reached out to pull her into him but she shoved him away, hard. Tears were running down her face. ‘Stop it, Drake! You feel something for me but you keep trying to push me away, I hate how you always try to push me away!’ Drake reached out to hold her, pleading with her to listen. ‘Please, Camille, I’m sorry-’ ‘If you don’t feel the same, then you don’t get to touch me ever again,’ she said, her voice filled with venom. She slammed her whiskey glass on the sideboard. ‘Bye, Walker.’ She stormed out of the apartment, slamming the front door shut behind her.

Drake stumbled back onto the sofa, his head in his hands. He willed the hot tears that were forming behind his eyes to dissolve but they didn’t - they fell down his cheeks. He felt hollow. What had he done? Why had he thrown away the best thing that ever happened to him?

He drank some more but her face wouldn’t fade. He didn’t even fell drunk. He just felt sad. He looked at the clock. 10.30pm. He couldn’t face the rest of the night with them not speaking. He couldn’t lose her. He couldn’t. He loved her. With new resolve, he grabbed his keys and left the apartment, not caring that it was pouring rain outside. He was going to fix this.

#choices the stories you play #trr #the royal romance #drake walker x mc #fanfiction

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musingsofanewbienurse · 5 years

Text

Transitioning to Veganism

In January 2019 I decided to take part in veganuary with the intention of being fully vegan afterward (bar what was already in my cupboard and needed eating up). It wasn’t a sudden decision, in fact, it had been a gradual choice that I had been considering for months at this point. I had been vegetarian since July 2017 and had been gradually decreasing my intake of animal products so that by the end of 2018 my diet was 80-90% plant based already. I had been avoiding dairy for the most part anyway as it causes my skin to break out badly and cheese was an expensive luxury on a furgal university budget. The only thing that really let me down in that aspect was when I ate out or by not checking labels.

Like most people I had watched the world-famous Netflix document ‘What the Health’ in the spring of 2017 and that was probably one of the first major catalyst that lead to me analysing and changing my diet. I had grown up on a small, rural island off the mainland of England, one of its main agricultures being farming. Every-day I would see cows and sheep grazing in fields both outside my bedroom window and on the way to school, I saw these animals had a good quality of life (in a way that they do not always in larger areas of Britain and the US), and like many people, never really questioned the connection between that and my dinner plate.

I was also notoriously fussy, and although I liked most varieties of meat, the same could not be said of vegetables. In fact I hated every single one until I was 16 and then I could just about stomach carrots. A healthy diet I did not have, despite how much my parents tried to push otherwise. Going vegetarian was simply not a viable option for me back then; but on joining university I started to cook for myself and my taste matured, leading me to today, where I now love 99% of veg (broccoli is legitimately my favourite food) and it makes up the bulk of my diet.

It meant, that when I watched the documentary I was able to genuinely consider becoming vegetarian, and started to slowly phase meat out of my diet. Even then, I knew that ultimately I did want to become vegan, after seeing the impact the meat and dairy industry has on our health*, the environment and on the animals who are subjected to it. But I wanted to do it the right way and for the long-term. If I cut out everything at once I knew after a week or two I would revert back to my usual diet, my body craving things that had always been present. I also wanted to be educated about things I substituted meat for; I go to the gym regularly and I wanted to know that what I was eating would have a good variety of nutrients. And most importantly, I didn’t want my mental health to suffer.

Like most young women growing up in this century I have had issues with food and my body. Although I have never received any formal help or diagnosis I definitely had an unhealthy relationship with food, especially in my mid-teens, though even now some days are harder than others. For the most part I am a lot better, but I was wary that if I suddenly cut out a lot of different foods and placed a lot of restrictive rules on my diet that I would be taking a huge step backwards, that I would go back to obsessing over every little thing that I eat. I didn’t want to sacrifice my health and knew that if I was to do this safely, then gradually converting my diet was the only answer.

And that is what I did. First it was dairy milk, an easy swap as there are so many alternatives on the market. I mainly go for soya at home because it’s the cheapest and I really don’t need anything fancy in my bowl of porridge, but oat is by far my favourite and go-to when I’ve gone out for a coffee.

Eggs was one of the biggest changes. In my second year of uni I had eggs for breakfast nearly everyday that I wasn’t on placement, and I genuinely didn’t see myself as able to give them up. But in third year I found a love of porridge and overnight oats, or tofu scramble if I fancied something closer to what I usually had eaten. And eventually I was only having eggs when eating out, there is nothing nicer than an eggs benedict (and if anyone can link me to a good vegan recipe for it, I will love them forever).

Like I previously mentioned, cheese wasn’t a large part of my diet, because as a university student it just wasn’t worth budgeting for. I’ve never had a problem with any of the vegan alternatives I’ve tried, though this may be because I ate cheese so rarely that I couldn’t really directly compare the two.

Chocolate, the crux for many people, was a big one. “But how do you live without chocolate?” I’m normally asked by my horrified coworkers, and the answer is that I don’t. In fact, I probably have it in some form everyday, it just took a bit of getting used to looking for the vegan friendly alternatives in tescos. But there are plenty, and even some of the major brands are accidently vegan (looking at you bourbons).

Eventually it just left occasions where I was eating out (laziness would sometimes lead to me choosing the vegetarian option, and other times it was simply because that was what I wanted to eat), and items where I had not checked the label for hidden ingredients. Milk powder is in bloody everything, and if it’s not that, it’s normally eggs. Quorn in particular is well-known for this, though their vegan range is steadily growing.

By December 2018 I felt ready to take on Veganuary. I no longer felt like my diet, or lifestyle would be negatively impacted by it and I saw it as a great chance to draw a line under the sand. When speaking to my dad on the phone two weeks in he asked if I was struggling yet. And honestly? I hadn’t even noticed, as there had been so few occasions where I would have chosen the non-vegan option anyway. To me it just made sense that after January I continued to eat plant based, and now, at the end of February I haven’t regretted it once. I am a giant advocator of eating a vegan diet. I feel so much healthier than when I ate meat, am more active than ever and can’t remember the last time I fell ill. I do understand it’s not possible for everyone, people who have had or have eating disorders may definitely struggle, and placing a load of rules on what they can and can’t eat wouldn’t be beneficial to their mental health in the slightest (just as it wouldn’t have been for me once upon a time).

I also understand that if you’re not educated about nutrition and the aspects of a healthy diet, then becoming vegetarian/vegan doesn’t automatically mean you’ll be any healthier, especially with the wide range of plant based foods and meals now out in supermarkets (I’m not berating any of these releases in the slightest, it’s amazing to see so many options and makes it a lot more accessible than it once was, it just means navigating for a healthy option isn’t always the easiest thing). Being vegan is still a privilege, I only have to support myself on my wage and it leaves plenty of room to opt for the more expensive meat alternatives and keep my diet balanced. A single parent with two kids however doesn’t have this option, and places like Lidl and Aldi are brilliant for selling a large quantity of meat for a relatively low price.

But reducing your meat and animal product intake is good for the planet, and I do think that every little thing, whether that be partaking in Meatless Monday or swapping dairy milk for soya helps. No-one has to be perfect or commit to the most severe of changes, especially if they feel it is what they should do because Instagram told them to, but making a substitution here and there helps massively.

*I am not saying that meat and dairy cannot make up a healthy diet, though like anything in large quantities it isn’t beneficial. There is also plenty of evidence against cows milk and how we digest it. In early 2019 the Eat-Lancet commission (linked below) was published, outlining global targets for the world population to achieve a healthy, nutritionally balanced diet whilst keeping food production sustainable. The diet consists mainly of fruit, vegetables, grains and legumes, with a small amount of meat and fish. It is fairly similar to the Mediterranean diet, and emphasises that you don’t need to cut all animal products out, but reducing them would be highly beneficial on a number of levels!

Walter, W., Rockstrom, J., Loken, B. et al (2019) Food in the Anthropocene: the EAT-Lancet Commission on Healthy Diets from Sustainable Food Products. The Lancet. [online] Available at: https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736(18)31788-4/fulltext#seccestitle10

#nursing blog #nurse #newbie nurse #veganism #vegan #nutrition #nutrition blog #lancet

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keyboardrambles · 2 years

Text

Gruesome Beginnings

TW: Death, Gun, Suicide, Severe Poverty, Culty implications, Dark Themes

Qriginal Work

Two boys walk down the somewhat boring but nice street home from school, one being around 6 or 7 and the other 11 or 12. it was a relatively,, quiet neighborhood. not much ever happened and what did wasnt really talked about. This led to the boys, outside of their orphaned past and current strict family, being somewhat sheltered. Theyve had hard lives dont get me wrong, but with one being taken to the orphanage as a newborn and the other having a relatively quiet past, they were never exposed to much. Especially when it came to illness, and death. At the orphanage they came from, it seemed like no one was ever sick or ever died. sometimes a kid or two would disappear but..it was normal.

Their upbringing with their current foster family is, extremely cold. their "parents" frequently giving them the cold shoulder, never giving them much emotional love or worse, punishing their children for showing said emotional love. They barely pay their children much mind and yet expect them to one day be something great. With high expectations and a rough start, with close to no emotional raising or contact and a sheltered view of the world. The boys were..troubled.

And as they walked down the small street unknown to either of them, that this would be their turning point.

Star stopped and beckoned the younger "hey- i know a shortcut cmon" Ross hesitantly nodded before being taken by the hand and led off the boring street into a smaller alley.

they walked for about 10 minutes, before Star heard a groan followed by raspy coughing coming around a corner. "..." he hesitantly stepped forward, motioning for the other to stay back as he checked the sound. He saw an older man, coughing up vomit and blood holding a bottle with a gun held loosely in his hand, his eyes were slightly cloudy and he seemed lost and confused, flinching at moving objects that didnt seem to be there "oh my god-..sir are you alright??-- your-" "yes yes i know kid," he coughed again

"..why arent you at the hospital or-,,sir you need help- "

"cant." "..what?"

"cant afford the cost and this damn city," he seemed to curse at the ground and everything around him, "cant give a fuck. ive tried, and ive tried every godamn day.. they dont care that im like this. and the hospital refuses to cover it, see me as a lost cause. Doctors just arent what they were when i was young" Star looked,, scared and worried about this new stranger, who had obviously not had anyone else to talk to for a long time.. ",,your too young to be worried about that crap." "no i want to help i-- here if i can just find a phone i can call 911 get you out of here-" "dont trouble yourself kid. "

as they were speaking,Ross peaked around the corner, walking closer

"there- there has to be something.."

"..hey, see that package of bullets there, behind your friend?? see,,i got this gun, and no way to use it, not much use of a gun then huh? well,,im a bit to hurt to get over there and get them, ive tried." he,,was trying to explain in the most child friendly way he could, in a way that would keep these children from understanding what he was about to do. "if one of you could just.." no!-" Star shouted, knowing what the man was implying

Ross,,paused and tilted his head slightly to the right, staring at the box of handgun bullets next to his feet "..Ross- Ross dont we cant just-- i.."

"..but, he asked,," he said simply. "i know he asked but-- Ross!-"

the other reached down and grabbed the box, curious of what the man was planning to do. he was obviously hurting.. what was a gun gonna help?? he walked over to the sickly man, and placed the bullets near his hand "..thanks kid,"

he paused "..you two should get goin now alright??" the older sighed, giving up knowing no matter what he told this man, he had already decided his fate.. "cmon Ross,"

He..did not move. he stared. "Ross, we have to go. " he tried to grab his brothers hand and walk away, the younger stayed right around the corner, watching.. refusing to move any further "Ross!!" he watched, curiously. as the man took out a single bullet and loaded it into the small gun.

he places the gun to his head and a shot was heard.

blood splattered across Ross’ face, he didnt move. Star was looking away, sobbing.

The younger freed his hand, and walked closer to the still warm and bleeding corpse

many things changed that day.. the boys both became interested, nearly /obsessed/ with death, and sickness and all the other things that were never spoken of. Studied it, learned everything they could. It was like a whole new world of gruesome, almost beautiful things.

Star, swore on his life, on everyones life, that he would become a damn good doctor. That he'd help people, stop sickness and death and god knows what else for free if he had to and he /had/ to.

and the other, well..Ross became a doctor too.

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franeridart · 7 years

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what are your thoughts about bakugou and midoriya's relationship? platonic, i mean

I live and die for it, every part of the manga in which that relationship is shown progressing is between my favorite parts of the manga and I’ve reread them a hundred times and cried over them way more than necessary - the battle trial one? yes, the end of terms exam? absolutely yes holy shit, the post-license exam fight? god yes fuck me that’s my absolute fav, the rescue arc? shit yes between all the reasons why that arc’s my fave the change in the deku/baku relationship is definitely a worthy of note one

It’s an interesting relationship, a painful one that’s making both of them grow so so so much, a rivalry they both need to better each other and keep each other straight on the path to become two great, all-around heroes - I’m not sure they’ll ever end up having the type of relationship Izuku has with Todoroki or Bakugou with Kirishima, I don’t think it’s possible for them to be friends like that, they’re just too different to properly fit like that and to avoid stepping on each other’s toes every single day of their lives they’d have to change their core personalities too much, but they did end up being able to coexist (Bakugou’s even giving Deku tips!!!) and I do think they’ll be able to cooperate and support each other in the end. If one day they’ll be able to make fun of each other in a friendly manner and egg each other on and be honest with each other without it escalating into a full blown fight I’d truly be happy, that’s probably my main dream for this whole manga. For them to have a healthy rivalry, one in which they can maybe even laugh together. I think it might happen, I’m waiting for it to happen

Anon said:Hi Fran! I'm obsessed with your BakuShimaNari work. Here's a cute thought to hopefully cheer you up a bit while you're unable to draw: they're all in their early 20s and Denki likes to poke/smooth out the little crease between Bakugo's eyebrows and tease him about getting wrinkles early from all the scowling he does. Bakugo flicks him in the nose and says he's starting to get crows feet from always grinning like an idiot.

Oh my god. Oh my g o d this is the sweetest thing I’ve ever read. Oh my g OD I’m just imagining them doing that and Kiri in the background watching them like they’re most precious thing in the world I’m dying rip me this just made my whole life thank you so much anon *sob*

Anon said:You are wonderful. That BakuKiriKami art just made me cry again after this chapter but I so needed it. I hope your hand heals up quickly!

I hope so too!!!! And thank you so much, I’m glad you liked it!!! ;A; tho I’m sorry for having made you cry rip

Anon said:Maybe Kirishima's hair is like haru from fruits basket, it changes colour when it reaches a certain length, and he decided to either dye the roots to match the long part or the long part to match the roots.

I’m effin laughing my ass off imagining the “you’ll never convince me that hair is natural” scene but with Iida I’m crying

But seriously if his hair did something fancy like that I don’t think the current Kirishima would try to hide it? Hair that naturally grows like that is flashy!

Anon said:KiriBaku, KamiJirou, AshidoSero, u feel me? I personally ship TodoMomo and IzuOcha as well but u know each to their own

tbh I ship all the ships mentioned in this ask to at least a certain degree, so yeah, I definitely feel you haha

Anon said:Fran can i ask why you ship BokuTeruKuroo ? like i understand why you ship BoKuroo, they are friend and so funny and cute with each other but do they have interaction with Terushima ? because i watch the anime and only start reading the manga and there's no interaction between them in it

What a question lmao no, no they never interact with Teru, it’s a crack ship haha I don’t really have a reason to ship it tbh, I just think Teru’s personality would fit nicely with Bo and Kuroo - Teru’s one of my fave characters in Haikyuu and I like shipping my faves around, but he’s interacted with only his teammates and Karasuno so everything else is just crack... I like a whole bunch of Teru ships tbh, bokuroteru is the one I’ve drawn the most for a bit by accident and a bit because they’re the ones with the most entertaining possible dynamics, to me? They’re a bunch of excited silly kids, that’s fun!

Anon said:I am literally in tears over the last chapter when will Horikoshi step away from my sunshine boy and let him rest? This isn't what I meant when I said I wanted Kirishima to have a bigger role in this arc

;-; boi do I feel this ask

(I still want more of him tho, last time he hadn’t been around for a few weeks I was a complete mess, pls don’t take him away from me again Hori ;A;)

Anon said:Fraannnnn why would you do this I had enough feelings about THIS EXACT SCENARIO and you had to go and make me feel more with your beautiful art How could you

!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m taking this as you’ve liked it!!! Which makes me happy tbh haha though I’m sorry for the more pain, that wasn’t my intention #oops thank you anyway, tho!!

Anon said:i wanted to cry bc of ch 143, kiri was amazing and fat was amazing and and .... but really though ...hori just doesn't wanna give it to us, does he ?

I don’t think I’ll ever have Kirishima’s backstory at this point. I’m giving up. I’ll just make up my own version of it. Kirishima’s had a beautiful past with a lot of happiness a great family with loving parents and both older and younger siblings that love him more than they love air, he’s got three pet turtles and a dog and the only reason why he had his hair dyed black was because he went through a really intense goth phase. That’s it, that’s my version, Hori can keep the sadness for himself

(...not please gimme the actual backstory already I’m dying)

Anon said:U ok after ch143, Fran? 'cause I'm not... 😭

...how can anyone love Kirishima and be okay after 143 tbh ;-;

Anon said:your answers to the ask for what would baku get the others ommmmmmg. fran you are AMAZING!! >///

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m happy you liked those omfg!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you!!!!

Anon said:I feel so bad abt the new chap bc my boy kiri is gonna hate himself so much abt being '''useless''' even if he wasnt and oh goodness he's going to beat himself up for this forever... i thought hori was gonna give him a sudden 'bout of strength & realization' to beat the enemy, but instead hes getting quite the realistic(which is good but sad) outcome from the fight... hes gonna be so mad with himself while recovering boy pls no u were great ;~;

I really hope something’ll happen and he won’t feel like that, but who knows ;-; on one side it would mean that his character arc still isn’t over, which is a lot more Kiri for me and that’s great, but on the other please don’t make him suffer anymore ;;--;;

Anon said:Though it was kinda 'forced', thank you for drawing mineta. I really liked seeing him in your art style. He's perverted but like Denki he's a good kid as well, too bad most people have him blacklisted. Hopefully that will change in the future. Thanks again ;D

You’re most welcome! As I said once already I don’t really care for Mineta, so including him in stuff when it makes logical sense to isn’t much of a problem for me hah maybe, if I’m lucky, one day he’ll grow as a character and out of the walking trope he is, and that might just mean I’ll start drawing him more by himslef too haha

Anon said:i havent been involved in a fandom for 4 years but now i am and its ur fault with ur gay boys i cant handle all it, fk my life. (ps. love how u draw denki, his hair so floofy, bless u)

!!! Happy you like my take on him!!! :O also I love how you called them “your gay boys” yes, yes they are, my beautiful gay boys hahaha

Anon said:Thanks to you I'm absolutely obsessed with bakushimanari and I can't get out. It's literally???? The cutest friggin thing??? I can't believe I never thought of it before coming across your blog. But now it's my OT3 and!!! Thank you for introducing me to this sweet ship!!! I absolutely adore your art and it inspires/motivates me to make my own fluff filled fanart.

YAY OH MY GODS!!!!!!!!!!!!! more bakushimanari fans I can make happen the more I’m happy, tbh!!!! they’re soft and good and happy I wish there’d be more of them around aaahhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:you color nicely (｀∇´)

sob thank youuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this actually means to me more than you probably thought it would haha rip bless ur soul anon

Anon said: ti adoro bye

GAH non sono certa di meritarmi addirittura un adoro ma!!!!!! grazie ;A;!!!!

#fran answers #still can't draw #the suggestions are piling up in my inbox...#instead im coming up with more aus.........#i can't even draw them yet...........#have some answers meanwhile #leaving this blog inactive this long feels weird haha sob #anonymous

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chickenstuffedwithmozzarella · 6 years

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Holiii!! I saw the pic of Liam and Honey😍😍😍 Asdfahs. They are so cute! And also, i love Liam's eyes. It'a such a nice colour!! And i also saw the gifs!! I love that gif of Louis. HE LOOKS SO SOFT. I could cry. And Harry😂😂😂 Its such a mood. I always flip people off like that. Jajajaja. AND THE GIF OF HARRY WITH THE PINK JACKET. 😍He is dancing funny and i love hiiim. Oh, and i havent read that fic but i'll read it asap and then i'll tell you about it. Promise. Thanks for the rec💖 (1)

Hiiii, Love!!!! I’m so sorry it took me so long to answer! but yesterday I was busy, and when I came home my head hurt like a b*tch, 😖😖. Liam’s eyes very pretty, aren’t they? Everyone likes him better (poor honey). I always flip people like that too, jajaja, that’s why I needed a gif, and I found the best, jajajaja. I couldn’t resist. I’m already rereading that fic,😅. I love re reading things I read a long while ago, bc my English has improved a bit since I came to tumblr, and it’s like reading things for the first time again, so cool.

It wasnt hard being updated bcs OT was everywhere, but yeah. I always try to engage in my friend’s hobbies. & some of them do the same. One of my friends used to be a 1D fan before i met her, and though she is not longer in the fandom she tries to be updated. She sends me memes or things that remind her of 1d. She even watched a video of BG without me knowing/telling her about it. I dont deserver her. Ay, and last week she watched freddieismyqueen videos with me on a free period. I 💖 her (2)

HOW DID YOU FRIEND MANAGE TO QUITE?!?!?! Jajajajaja It feels imposible (not that I have tried…). And she sees things and isn’t intrigued about what is happening?? She should write a self help book,jajajaja. “How to suite one direction: the guide”,jajajaja. But she sounds cool and supportive of you, so keep her, jejeje.

Well, you just described me. Talking in public always end up in one of those two options. I have always wanted to do a road trip!!! You are totally invited of course. JAJAJAJA. Well, it just…happened? Our friend was having a very bad time and he was going through a lot of things and we didnt know how to cheer him up. And then one night we just starting watching a video of AuronPlay reading a fic, and he was happy for the first time in months. (3)And so my cousin said “what if we write him a fic?” And i said “omg, yes”. And thus was born. Its a crack fic. We just put in there his family, his biggest celebrity crush, our friends, ourselves and a couple of animals and started writing nonesense. He hasnt read anything yet, bcs we want to finish it first, and me and my cousin (and our siblings, bcs they wanted to help) only hang out alone sporadically. But we laugh a lot writing it. I hope he laughs too when he finally reads it. (4)

You, your sister and your cousins sound so cool. And your friends too. I’m gonna have to migrate and adopt you all, jajajaj. I’m sure your friend is gonna love it. It’s a recipe for success. Keep me updated when you show him and his reaction,please!!

“How does a gay look like?” Like someone with no toxic masculinity. But i see your point. Judging on looks is not cool. (And i dont usually do it. I watched their behaviour or their words. When someone doesnt ever use gender pronouns and just say “they” “parter” “somebody” im just👀👀👀 i see what u are doing). Yes yes. What you said makes sense. I understood. Dont worry. I have never heard that quote, but i think i could marry whoever wrote this. So much truth!! 😱 (6)

Tbh I never payed attention to that, :/ (heteronormative mind and all that). If I had, maybe I had known about a lot of my high school friends’ sexuality. Looking back, we were just a group of friends, boys a girls, nobody cared about boyfriends/girlfriends (we were friends from 12-16). Then we went our separate ways, and we lost touch. And now I see in Facebook that they are gays and lesbians, and I’m like… :/ we didn’t know much about those things back then. And I hope I didn’t make any comments who could offend/affect them. But it makes me so happy to see them being themselves and living with they’re boyfriends and girlfriends… 😊 I just wish I could have been a better friend back then 🤷🏻‍♀️. But now I pay attention to that. And I always try to show support in a non invasive way. And try to educate people about who they’re been homophobic, or make not appropriate comments… like there’s this boy (around 16) that likes to paint his nails. And I love everything to do with nails. And, at the shop, I comment on people’s nails (if I know them enough, lol). And I always try to say something nice to this guy. To normalize the fact that he has his nails painted (and no make a statement that I approve of it, if someone else is listening, so they don’t make rude comments around me). And then my friend’s sister is Lesbian. But their mother is so ancient-minded… like, my friend has a dit of fat, and she’s always making comment about how she should be skinnier bc she won’t ever find a husband 😒. And her sister is very thin. And once, she was working as cleaner in a /cuartel de la guardia civil(?)/. And their mother was always: hmmm, I hope she finds a good guy there, bc she’s never had a boyfriend. And I always thought: I wonder why, lol. Well, she finally came out to her parents, and while they don’t treat her different (which I don’t know if it’s good or no), they’re like “waiting” she changes her mind. And hoping she finds a boyfriend. Anyway, her mother is friends with my mom, and she comes to visit at the shop sometimes, and she always has a comment to make about what people do or don’t do. And I get so angry ��. I’m always correcting her. But she doesn’t listen. And I feel sorry for my friend and her sister. So whenever I have the chance I saw her my support, and always talk about these things, lol. (I talk so much about lgbt+ things, that my family associates me with it, to the point that every time they see a rainbow or whatever they tell me: look look! And I just satisfied with it. At least they don’t make so much homophobic comments anymore 😒)

YOUR MOM IS AN ANTI? How? “Why would they fake a baby?” Thats a good question with awful answers. I miss RBB&SBB.😍 (I havent explained that to anybody, yet. But once while playing a game my cousins choose Rbb as his nickname so i choose Sbb and our friends started making questions and we where like? 1d things? Long story, leave it for another day? I’m glad they dont remember it bcs i wouldnt know how to explain that😂😂). Was your friend a fan of 1d too? (7)

Well, she isn’t a nasty anti, jajajja, but she doesn’t think they’re together. Not for nothing special, just that she thinks they would say it if they were together. And since they haven’t say it, they aren’t together. But I’ve shown her the famous Christmas pic, and she doesn’t Thing B was ever pregnant. And I show her pics of F to ask for an outsider opinion, and she doesn’t think the kid looks like Louis at all, lmao. So, I think if they ever come out, she wouldn’t care at all. Bahhh, I’ve talked about RBB/SBB with my friend sometimes, but it’s so bad of a thing, that we don’t come to a conclusion. She isn’t a fans, sadly. But she likes celeb gossip, and I like to talk, so… yesterday she came to visit/ to get her arms waxed (bc that’s my other unofficial job) and she ended up staying for 2 hours. Bc we had see each other briefly lately, couldn’t sit and talk properly in a while. And she always asks me about 1d, bc she knows I love to talk about it,jajaja. And I have a sideblog where I reblog things to show her. And well, yesterday we talked a little about BG, and I showed her the no-belly pic, and she was… 😳. And she thinks louis and Harry must be together, at least at some point, bc the way the touched wasn’t in a friendly way. She now has a boyfriend, and she kept saying: I’m not a very touchy person with my friends or my family, but when I’m with him I always want to touch him or kiss him, and that’s what those two were always doing. And I’m always: do you think that for real, or are you just saying it so I stop talking?? Jajjaja. And yes, she’s convinced they are/were together. She asked me if I think they’re still together, and I told her that now more than ever, but it’s a long story, so we should talk about it another time, bc lol, we were just talking about it for a couple of hours, and we both had things to do. So, we’ll keep talking another time.

Of course, I dont share that info with everybody, but I dont mind my friends knowing. I have this one friend that i bother everytime i get frustated bcs of a fic. I tell him the plot, and what is happening and i cry about it (and he laughs at me but at least he listens). Sometimes i make him choose which one should i read next when i cant decide. (9)

I almost did a fic reference yesterday talking with my friend, and I stopped myself midsentece, and laughed (I thought of you,jajaj) and she was so confused!! But she’s used to my weirdness, so we just laughed it way. And I kept talking, jajajajaj.

Girl, i have 6 dioptres😂😂 Thats what i have forbid myself from reading on the phone. No, i havent read that one, but its now on the list. I’ll tell you when i do! Though it make take a while :( (I understand you. Dont worry). (10)

😳 6?!!?! Please take care of your eyes!!! Stop reading… everything!! Jajaja. No, I’m kidding. I know about people who has 8… so you’re still ok,jajajaj. I have 1, but my ophthalmologist told me I’m very sensitive to change, bc I thought I had 27463 diopters, bc I saw so poorly 🙄🙄.

Yes, i also like IDGAF more than New Rules. They have overplayed that one. Have you heard Blow Your Mind? I love that one. It’s also a single so…i guess you have heard it? You’ll get amazing shots, i’m sure. Honey was sleeping on you? 😭😭😭😭 I love hiiim (11)

I listened today Room for 2 and Homesick, and I think I like them. I’ll have to listen this new one two. For me, to like a song, I have to heard /a lot/ (not as much as Despacito, please). It has to have a catchy tune. That’s why I think a like Carolina, or Woman, or Kiwi, and I don’t understand why people is so fidyfvbure about the lyrics, jajjaja.Honey is always sleeping on me. The other day Liam was sleeping between my legs, and Honey came and just laid on top of my poor limo. And I wanted to kill him, bc liam never comes to sleep with me. They’re so different… but I love them both.

Oh, my little sister. I just wanted to tell you that yesterday was her birthday. She almost cried when she saw that me and my older sister had brought her Flicker deluxe as a present. (We hadnt bought it yet. Dont judge us). She was freaking out just bcs of that and i was laughing so hard thinking that she’s gonna pass out when she sees the rainbow flag her friends have gotten her for Nialls show. And also another pair of Cds. She wont survive the show. Poor thing. But she was so happy 😍😍 (12)You start next week? Okay. I’ll ask again next wednseday. Have a nice daaaay!!

Not judging, you’re amazing sisters!! Awww, poor thing!! She will have an amazing time at Niall’s concert, for sure. And, yes, please, tell her to bring the flag. I’m so happy seeing how people are starting to bring rainbow flags to niall concerts too. And have you seeing that he has taken pics with rainbow flags?? He even brought one to the stage the other day!! It makes me inexplicably happy to say everything covered in rainbows. There was so much at Harry’s show too, my sister said it looked like a pride parade. Hey, Dunkirk it’s about to start khbkhdfbvkjdnfvkjndfv. But, have YOU SEEING THE NEW ROYAL BABY WAS NAMED AFTER LOUIS?????? AND HIS TWEET?!?!? IM SCREAMED!!!! Dijffvjkbdded. Bye love. I have to feed my cats before the movie starts!!! Aaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

#anon #I just saw ask 5 is missing??#kjdjeidobcioedcboie.#sorry #Dunkirk is about to start and I’m sihdbkddhvhbjefv #EDIT: anon!! I forgot to ask you if you’re the middle sister?? me too!! I have so much to say of how that position influence people's #personality #jajajajajaa #and I can related to Harry and Louis too #🤦🏻‍♀️

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i-dance-therefor-i-am · 7 years

Text

Personal post

I dont usually post personal things but i really need to vent right now because i dont know who else to talk to..

So i was seeing this guy last semester. We met through mutual friends and then he reached out to me to go on a date and it kinda just went from there. We spent every free moment with one another and he was becoming my best friend. He broke his rules during hell week and came and saw me and made me coffee and we just sat and talked for hours at like 4 am. I opened up to him about my mom being sick and he opened up to me about his family problems. He had me make his Christmas list. We went to each others formals. I was falling in love with this kid. And then he said he wasn’t ready for a relationship - out of the blue. For all intents and purposes we were acting like boyfriend girlfriend - the only difference was that we never put an official title on it. He felt like he had lost himself in the process of pledging and wanted to make sure he was who he wanted to be. He didn’t know when he would be ready and didn’t want to lead me on which i appreciate. I was the right person just wrong time and it absolutely sucks. We both teared up/cried that night. Since then we’ve had a variety of interactions. I drunk texted him, he kinda drunk texted me back, he blacked out and apologized to me and said he missed me and was going on about how amazing i was and called me someone special - we talked about it a few days later and he doesn’t remember any of it; i decided to opt for a clean slate, i saw him a couple times since and hes been super friendly and flirty while hes drunk and the complete opposite when hes sober, I decided i needed to at least attempt to move on, so i have started hooking up with this other guy - he saw us making out at a party and then us leave together. over spring break, i saw on his snapchat story and it looked like he was in a car accident so i texted him to make sure he was okay. he turned out to be fine and the valet crashed the car but he kept talking to me and keeping the convo going which was weird.. he ended up recommending a movie to me and wanting to know what i thought about it. He said that it was a big deal to him to find someone who has the same taste in movies. i ended up watching the movie a few days later and texted him in the middle of it. we started talking about it and i was give him by reactions as the movie went on. he said that he wished he was there to see my reactions. 10 minutes before the movie ended he stopped responding and didnt respond in the morning, i was pissed because i thought he wasnt going to respond and we hadnt finished talking about it yet. he ended up texting me that night asked me which insta he should post. we ended up talking about the rest of the movie and a little bit about our days. it was weird. i saw him when i got back from break, i was with a group of friends and he waved hi to me and then walked over to talk and he wouldn’t make eye contact with me and basically ignored me.. its so frustrating i dont understand. today i saw a photo of him and a girl on facebook. im pretty sure its a friend from home and her fb says she has a bf but still i felt devastated. i know i should be over this kid already but i just cant seem to get over him and i feel like such an idiot.

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quietlybreakingbutsmiling-blog · 4 years

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What is love anyway? The novel of my disastrous love life.

So let's just go back to the beginning when I had not a clue what love was.

That awkward girl that always hid in the back, over achieved in schools but kept her head down at all times for fear of constant embarrassment of her own existence? That was me.

Middle school was rough. For everyone I'm sure. I became close friends with the small town, military obsessed farm boy and my crush developed. He went out of the way to try to bring me out of my shell. He asked me out, I met his family, he tolerated my obnoxious friends, we hugged everyday, he sat with my friends at lunch. That was all a big deal! It all became a bit of a joke in the end if I'm honest and we broke up. My crush remained and when his friends decided freshman year, it was funny - they supposedly asked me out online on his behalf again. A

I said yes, for some odd reason. He ignored me but silently walked beside me in class for a week then texted me to tell me it was all a joke. I mean okay... skirted around the boy for the next several years. He got another girlfriend after graduation, joined the marines, married the girl, knocked her up... twice now. Who knew, hes kinda cute now! I say this in the most harmless way possible.

NEXT! Get this- I fell in love with an internet boy. Who knows if he is even who I thought he was. My best friend and I got into online roleplay on facebook. The innocent stuff, create a facebook page as a PLL character and talking to eachother. Until we discovered an entire world of this in facebook. Met a boy. Roleplay name was Darian. Real life name supposedly Damian. Shit i kid you not, that was my first true best friend and love, whether he was real or not. I was maybe 13 when we became friends. He called me silly pineapple and we called him beef coon. He was a strange one. I got my music taste from that kid though. He was 5 years older than me. It remained innocent... texting all day and night. Roleplay wasnt s thing to us, just normal talking. He was my best friend, I cannot stress that enough. He was into some odd stuff. He was pansexual and so open about it which impressed me. He was also into drugs and alcohol though. We bonded heavily over some heavy duty depression. I truly believe that boy saved my life. He disappeared from my life several times, just never responded again. I had a strange attachment,texting his number that I knew by heart in my times of need. While he usually was there, that presence faded too until random times. He randomly appeared for a few weeks while I was in my first long term relationship. It made things a bit rocky but when explains the situation, he responded simply with something along the lines of "He wont let you go, he cant. I sincerely hope nobody makes the mistake I did. I'm sure hes smart enough to realize what hed lose. " and he faded off again from there.he really only popped up to check on my happiness I think. I believe the last I heard from him, I was 19 or 20 years old. I still consider texting his number sometimes. But I'm sure his career took off and he married that model he was head over heels for. Though I do wish I knew more, I'd love just to see him truly happy.

Okay things get real now. My first kiss. My 48 hour relationship. I fell hard and fast at the thought if someone in person loving me. We talked and texted constantly, he had fairly recently gotten out of a relationship though. The interest in me seemed random but I didnt care. He did warn me before our first date he was a sex addict. I awkwardly blew it off as I was a birgin that had never even had my first kiss and wasnt gonna blow a chance at a relationship with the only guy to actually seem to want me. Date one was at his house.. featuring awkward hand holding, dancing around the kitchen, and slow dancing in the rain, and my first kiss. He asked me to be his girlfriend and his sister drove me home that night. Went over the next day and he was distant. Hell he even showed me the placed he used to bury condoms he had used with his ex and I didnt run away screaming?!? Anyway he dumped me by text that night and went back to his ex. Given I had a thing with the guy for the next year or so... flirting back and forth at lunch, teasing eachother. He signed my yearbook with "I hope you remember me everytime you go dancing in the rain."

Alright so next was a real weird one. Ready for this? I was convinced this dude in band/chorus was secretly Damian. The online love of my life. He was awkward but confident and I thought he was so cute. We kinda talked briefly because he rode my school bus but I barely remember it now. But I just went down memory lane and found messages of him telling me he had a massive crush on me during my senior year of high school ( I had a boyfriend at the time too so super weird! ) not sure where that came from but I totally told the guy he reminded me of a guy named Damian that I had been super close with. He probably thought I was a lunatic, it's cool. Conversation went quiet a day later and havent heard from him to this day! Who knows, maybe it was him!

Alright so my sophomore year I was definitely feeling myself. Starting talking to a guy online. And then all the guys in my school were flirting with me, becoming my close friends, etc. The popular jock? Check. The friendly jocks that are kinda teddy bears? Check. The nerdy guys? Check. The players? Check. The new kid? Check.

I moved forward with the online guy though. my bestie was boy crazy and made me create a page for "friends" but was really a dating app. She met so many guys on it. Somehow I matched with a guy on the opposite side of the country? Regardless, I still love that man to this day. We dated for 4 years, with some breaks in the final year. He was a year ahead of my so he took a year off after graduation to move across the country, and into my dads house to live with me. When we were long distance, he flew to visit me every other month. We talked nonstop always, he was my entire life. My real first love. My first everything. My world. We were going to get married and have a family, we even picked our kids names. After I graduated, he moved across country to live with his dad and go to college, I move to another state for college as well. Thing is... he left a few months early to get settled. His dad convinced him to leave me. He dumped me by text while I was working, on my birthday. After 2.5 years. I was shattered. My friends treated me like i was on suicide watch. He flew up a month later and we got back together. That was our pattern. We ended again when i moved on campus to my college. I hung out with a few guys. Dated a guy for a few months. But still skyped this guy 24/7... he was my best friend for years. Together or not, we relied on eachother for daily life and as a support system. We got back together after my other relationship ended. He flew to see me. It was like nothing ever ended, we picked up where we left off. Then he canceled visiting me for my birthday and I began to distance myself. Another guy expressed interest... and I left him. The day I told him I wanted to end it, he cried and begged me for hous to give him a few more months to fix it. I found out he had secretly booked a flight to see me but I was too far into this so I told him to cancel it, I didnt see any other option. This guy was my best friend. You all dont understand. That love will never fade. He joined the military, something he always wanted but I wouldnt have been willing to handle, hes married, and they are expecting a baby boy. Hes happy. Even though we dont talk, I do love to see he is happy, truly. I miss him everyday though.

Oh college... I dated a guy. Because he was sweet as can be. I was not physically attracted to him in the slightest though but was convinced as we grew closer, that attraction would grow. But when I tell you, you cant force yourself to be attracted to someone sexually no matter how bad you want to, it is awful. I mean it. My dad loved him - they were both crazy sports people which my dad couldnt use with my other boyfriends. Heres the big catch, I couldnt force myself to love him as much as he deserved. I was his first girlfriend and I couldnt love him like he loved me. I planned to end things after the holidays because he was flying to spend the holidays with my family and i. Well... in high school he had survived brain cancer so he was checked regularly. At a regular check up before flying to see my family, they found the cancer was back and gave him 6 months to live. One of the hardest, things I face in my life... for selfish reasons. I didnt want to dump him right after that, I didnt want anyone to think I left him because of the cancer, I didnt want to be that bitch. I kept asking myself if I could tolerate the relationship until he died just for him to be happy his last months and days. And I was going to do just that, fake it til you make it, right? Well when he started insisting he couldnt die a virgin and he wanted a child to carry his name after he passed, I broke down and ended it. I refused to feel forced to give myself to someone and ruin my life because they were dying and wanted sex and kids when I wasnt ready for sex with him and was in my freshman year of college. Unable to support a child on my own. He became angry. He lived a year from when they gave him only 6 months. I heard from him a few times before he died. The brain cancer made him someone he wasnt. He would go into bouts of anger, punching walls, he would call me a slut and a whore because I went back to my ex or was in a new relationship. The littlest things made him snap. I was convinced he hated me. So much so I refused to go to his funeral because I convinced myself he wouldnt have wanted me there, that he told his family he wouldnt want me there. A year after his death, his mom messaged me to tell me her son loved me, that he cherished every memory with me, that he spoke lovingly of me even minutes before he died. I think I needed to hear that and she for some reason felt compelled to tell me.

Now the guy I left my best friend and long term boyfriend for. He was my manager that was looking for a new roommate and he had accepted a new job at a different company anyway. My boyfriend at the time thought the roommate thing was a great idea. Little did he know. I went to see the apartment and make my decision, then began hanging out with him as a friend. I remember him asking my why my boyfriend never called or texted when I was over. We were in a tough patch that I couldnt really explain, other than hes too busy. It became an entire thing of I deserve someone to notice and that appreciates how smart and kind and beautiful I am. That wanted to talk to me all the time. I ended up leaving my boyfriend and a week or so later, this guy posted on Facebook he was in a relationship with me. He messaged me "Oops, I think I just told the whole world I want to be with you." His parents had already thought I was his girlfriend before this. He often got drunk and told all his friends and his mom he would marry me one day. I spent the night constantly at his place until my lease ended and I moved in... to his room though instead of the 3rd bedroom. This was 3.5 years ago. A few months later, he dumped me. Told me he couldnt be with me if he wasnt sure he wanted to be with me because I deserved someone who knew. I remember texting my ex how much of an idiot I knew I was because I gave up everything just to be hurt. PAUSE THIS STORY.

INSERT- in my tears of being dumped, I had planned to meet someone for a interview for school I needed to do. I was scheduled to meet him in an hour. I had been a grocery store cashier and he was a regular customer. One that always came to my line and even took me out for dessert on my last day at the store after my final shift. I couldnt stay in the house with the breakup so I went anyway, planning to pretend I was fine. Well he noticed within 30 seconds something was wrong so I fessed up. He had actually dumped his girlfriend the night before. I spent the next few hours crying to him in a little cafe in the city. He offered me his place to stay since he was about to be traveling for work and had a 3 bedroom apartment that would be empty anyway. I half agreed. He was in town a few more days so I spent dinnertime wit him, slept over a fer days to get used to the apartment. I slept with him which is not my best choice but there was something about this guy. I had butterflies near him, always. He always focused only on me... no phones or video games. Just me. He made dinner and meal prepped for me for the week he was gone on business. His touch was always like electricity on my skin. His kisses were just different in a good way. His voice was so sultry you couldnt tell him know on anything. He was fine with PDA which I actually enjoyed.. I enjoyed being shown off. He held doors open and was very much a gentleman. He had a job offer to move across country that he had just accepted. It was a massive promotion and pay raise. He has always told me if we had been together then, he likely would have turned the job down to keep me. He did ask me to move with him.. but I was a college student and I was set I wasnt able to go and was not wanting to do long distance again anyway. I went back to my real home, where all my belongings were.. back to where I had been dumped just a few short weeks before. The guy actually dropped me off there after picking me up at the airport as I needed to work in the morning.

RESUME. Back at the apartment, I ended up back with my former manager. Over the next 2 years, I found him sexting other girls pretty much the entire relationship. Trust is gone. He promises to go to counseling and sexaholic meetings. The one counseling meeting he scheduled, he got lost in bad traffic and gave up. The meetings, he went to maybe 3 total ever. But we are engaged now. Wedding planning is almost done and wedding is this year. My friends all know, my mom knows, my ex's know. They know the pain I've gone through and theyve had my calls when I found out over and over again. Once was while I was out of town for my grandfather's funeral that he was too busy with work to come with me to. He says he wont do it again. He hasnt that I know. But he may have just gotten better at lying and hiding it. And I'm marrying the guy. I've put out 20k for this wedding. I cant just back out now.

So here we are.

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unhappyclient-blog · 5 years

Text

John M Edwards from Madison Indiana

John and I started dating in June of 2012. We met through a dating website (POF) and he looked like the perfect guy. We texted all day and talked on the phone for hours every night. He was so sweet and even though we lived 4 hours apart, he surprised me at the most adorable of ways by sending me flowers or stuff like that. In August I moved to west lafayette since I began attending Purdue University. Between him working full time and having drill a weekend of this month (because he is in the military NG), and me going to school all during the week and working on the weekends, we only saw each other one weekend out of the month. But then, things were great. We constantly had the best time together and shared wonderful memories. We would go back and forth composing every other long sweet texts professing our love for each other and it was like a fairy tale. But I discovered it started to stop sometime in january. And when I brought this to his attention, he'd say it was because he had been busy hanging out with a friend and hed send one afterwards, or he fell sleep and forgot. In March of 2013, I found out that I was pregnant. He was supposed to be set up to Egypt that June, but the day after I discovered, his installation was cancelled and I thought it was destiny. I finished out the session and we have an apartment together May in his hometown (4 hours away from all of my loved ones and friends). I moved down there to be with him and begin our family together. I found an excellent job within 2 weeks and things were going great. Then I began to notice changes. He went out every weekend to the bars with his friends, leaving me home alone with nothing to do and nobody to hangout with or talk to. I couldnt go if I wanted to because A) I was only 20. And B) he didnt need me out in crowded public areas because theres a great deal of dumb drunk idiots out there and somebody could bump into me and god forbid it caused any harm to the baby. Well I started becoming suspicious because he would stay out in the bars until 4am, yet they closed at 3. (and in addition, he got a DUI in July after blowing a .15 and had his license suspended for a month and was put on probation for the next year, yet still went out and drank in the pubs anyways because his best friend was a cop) He'd conceal his phone and take it with him when he went to shower or poop. He kept a lock on his telephone that I constantly had the code , but then he began altering it and any moment I'd ask for this, hed get defensive or make up and explanation. And when I figured it out, hed change it again the following moment. One night I had figured out the passcode to his telephone and I unlocked it. I found he had a snapchat from some girl, so I viewed it, and it was a photo of her VAGINA. Not full blown, however, it was a straight shot of her pants unzipped with panties on. Obviously my mouth dropped and I woke him up right then pissed off asking questions (bad thought. Always stay cool and get your ducks in a row first). Nicely he course played it off and stated that she had been just a an ex girlfriend of one of his buddies and he had no clue why she'd send him something like that and that hed obstruct her. Well I knew better, but of course gave him the benefit of the doubt. He then got another part time job to help save extra cash before our daughter was born and had gone to see him one night and the women were quite friendly with me and knew we were together and expecting a child except ONE girl. Well I discovered they were friends on facebook and she too was shot with a kid. Well I added her and she never approved. Then I saw text messages on his phone between the both of them as if they had been attempting to get to know each other (such as you do when you first start talking to somebody asking for pictures, etc). He told me it was his friend in the office texting her from his phone bc his was broken. I knew that was probably bullshit but when we hung out with this friend one evening, I asked him when john had gone into the restroom and he confirmed it, so I let it go. (turns out that he was covering for him) oh and also the best part was that after I finally found out this, I found out that this particular woman lived in the same neighborhood as us, just a street over!! Well he quit that job soon after because he said he didnt like it there and got yet another part time job working in video. (he had worked there before and left on good terms so they hired him right away). Well he worked up until a few days before our daughter was born and then just stopped showing up and finally got fired bc he didnt need to have to work for thanksgiving. Nicely November 2013 comes and I have my girl, the most beautiful little girl in the world. He was right there with me every step along the way, through the 16 and a half an hour of labour. I had her and he remained there with me that the whole 3 days we had been in the hospital. He seemed so filled with love and security (like a father should have) that I thought maybe hed realize that a household is more important than anything or anyone. He'd taken another week off of work so he could stay home and be there with us I had been on paid maternity leave for 6 weeks from my job. He came straight home from work daily and could stay home every weekend (except the evenings he had drill). Well one day his buddys girlfriend (who'd become my very best friend) told me that her boyfriend (johns BEST FRIEND) had informed her one night which John had cheated on me with a woman named Olivia at the Family Video shop where he used to work. That he was shutting one night and she came and watched him and they had sex in one of the temptations (aisle 4 or something as it had no detectors ) and this happened like a week until my daughter was born. Well I was angry since this was the SAME GIRL that'd befriended me months ahead, and we had actually hung out a few times and she came over to our apartment one day after our daughter was born. I thought it was strange how he sat there on his xbox enjoying his game and hardly ackowledged her, and the way she had been absolutely fine with thumping her boob and breastfeeding her 3 month old daughter (Yes, she had a girl, was a year younger than me, and her babys dad wants nothing to do with her or his child ). That his buddy would never state anything like that and that it never occurred. Well, Christmas time comes along with his buddy (the one whos a cop) articles a standing on facebook stating hes drinking with a friend of his and invites john over. John comments on it and says no he cant (because we were sitting there watching a movie) and his friend comments back and says that his hitler-ette had to calm down and quit controlling him. So I awakened on his buddy and he explained that the only reason john was was because I got pregnant and if I was brighter and had used birth control then I wouldnt even be here right now. So john went on his buddy and actually stood me up and I told him I want nothing to do with him at all and that he is not permitted over at our home or to visit our kid. He complied and his buddys title wasnt brought up again and they never hung out (even though they'd made up with eachother and still texted occasionally). Well in february, this exact same friend of his has been caught red handed cheating on his girlfriend (my now best friend) with some girl for the previous 2 months. Well things happened between those who I say, but now instead of being a police officer, hes sitting for the next 8 years and can have no contact with either of his daughters or his ex girlfriend (my buddy ). Well the night this all occurred, I wake up into a text message saying we had been perfect. They were cheating with (so and so). So I wake john up and tell him what she said and he said that she had been making s*** up to try to break us up since her connection was about to ***. And since I had no evidence, I let it all go. Well I had posted a standing about cheaters and a week later I get an anonymous letter in the mail at my WORK, addressed to me personally, stating (in badly disguised sloppy handwriting) they saw my status and know for a fact that john had cheated on me with atleast 3 different women, and gave titles. And that they thought I must know (and one of the girls names was Olivia, from earlier in my story). This time I didnt mechanically show him my evidence and accuse him. I played it cool and wished to collect everything. So I figured out the password for his verizon accounts and looked in his telephone records and saw a number continuously popping up on there. I printed everything! That night, iIwake around 1 because my daughter started crying and I started to feed her so she could go back to sleep. I discovered it vibrate, but it didnt light up. (he's an iphone) therefore I click on the home button, and it doesnt show anything on the monitor. (keep in mind his phone is also secured, so I cant test it fully because I dont know the password). Well then it goes back, but it was a different vibration than previously and the telephone really lit up this time. I seem and its some remark notification for facebook. So right then and there's when I knew that he had blocked the alarms for texts so I couldnt see (since it shows that the first portion of the message onto the lock screen) so I waited till he finally awakened at 5:30 that morning and went to check his phone, like he does every morning. And I told him to waitand that I needed to sit behind him as he assessed it. He immediately asked why and I said since somebody texted you at 1:30 in the afternoon and the notification did not show on the display so I wanna understand who it is. He immediately got defensive and said no! That he wasnt going to continue doing so s*** and that I have to trust him. That Saturday nighthe went out to the bars and got really drunk, and for the first time in the past year and a half, I went to a bonfire with my pal and two of her woman friends. It was just the four people plus her friends husband and his friend. I requested Johns mother and sister to babysit for a couple hours so I could hangout and have a wonderful time, and they were happy to. Well once I was there for about an or two, johns sister calls me and informs me john found they were babysitting and got really pissed off that I wasnt house with our daughter. So I advised her id be home soon and she said that he was already on his way home. Well then I get a call from john who asks me what Im doing, I tell him Im at a bonfire and he flips out on me and says could O pawn off our kid to somebody else (if it was his mother and sister) and that I was a horrible mom. (yet he had been the one who was piss ass drunk). So I push instantly home and hes sitting on the sofa with his friend, and his mother and sister are sitting on the other end of the sofa with my daughter. I walk in, since the door was unlocked and he gets up and goes into the bathroom (where he began puking his guts out bc thats how drunk he was the same guy that blew a .15 and believed he was absolutely fine to push and hadnt drank so far ). Well his sister and I go out and she explains to me exactly what happened when he got home. He flew into a rage and began screaming stuff and saying how I was nuts if I thought I was going to have the ability to come in the home and blah blah blah. Nicely his sister told him into the stfu and said shes a mommy. shes going to call the cops. Youll go to prison! Stop being an idiot and calm down! . Well we didnt say a word to each other the rest of the night and his friend passed out, and I slept on the sofa. After that day, one of his own friends had called me and asked what had occurred between us bc he saw we werent together on facebook and I told him why and he explained that was actually cheating on me with this one girl, the one he maintained was texting his friend through his mobile phone. And how he bragged about it to him saying oh this woman is texting me and sending me these pics and what not all happy about it. So that next Saturday, while he was at drill, my parents and my cousin came down with their 12 passenger van and pickup and they moved all of mine and my daughters things back to fort wayne to my parents home. He freaked out on me initially and posted a lot of bullshit on facebook to get sympathy from people who had no idea what actually happened, and I filed that Monday for child service and we had our court in july because he didnt wish to agree on more than $200 a month to get support when Im paying $500 per month daily care alone. _Ùªâ I'd post the women that he cheated on me with, but to tell the truth, I dont know all of their names because there were too many to count. They knew we had been hell the whole town did because its a very small city, nevertheless still fIIked around with him. But the moment I began to get suspicious about one, hed drop them and move on to the next. So hes the actual HOMEWRECKER within this story and he deserves to be here and these chicks will get whats coming to them as will he _Ùªâ The one thing I am thankful for throughout this whole mess was my lovely daughter, along with also the fact that besides his lying adulterous ways, he's really a fantastic father to her. Read the full article

#JohnMEdwards

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