#HE JUST LIVED HIS LIFE BULLDOZING EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING IN HIS WAY

[thisreputable]

omega!ghost x fem!alpha!soap thoughts

bear with me plz. so, august of last year i read an omega!ben x alpha!rey fic that has lived rent free in my head ever since. ben had isolated himself, doing research that kept him far from civilization - far from alphas - until rey shows up

now, imagine. big, silent, deadly ghost who keeps to himself, begrudgingly accepts he needs to interact with the others of the 141, if only to kept things cohesive out on missions. accepts the fact he had to socialize a little. keeps it to the bare minimum, though. never volunteers anything personal: his past, family, plans for the future, designation. sometimes he'll give short, clipped answers, simple questions. tea over coffee, mystery novels (will never, ever admit, even under pain of death, his love for bodice rippers). action/adventure movies with a sprinkling of sci-fi. nothing too deep. nothing anyone could potentially use against him.

(price knows some things. more than most for sure. an unfortunate necessity as ghost's CO. not everything. not what or who ghost is under industrial strength blockers and the best suppressants money can buy. under the mask where simon lurks.)

so ghost's innermost everything is locked up tighter than america's fort knox. impenetrable. inscrutable. impossible to know beyond mere surface level. even then, the mask assures it's not something likely to happen.

enter joan "soap" mactavish, the newest member of the 141.

loud. young. offensively confident. vibrant. unafraid. alpha.

she smells like his and it terrifies him.

everything ghost has tried to steer clear of for longer than he can remember. since before he died and clawed himself out of the ground. since before betrayal, and being the last riley, and learning the taste of his own blood in his mouth. before ghost and ghoulish masks and too many scars to count.

since the shape of his father's meaty fists bloomed purple-red across a pale canvas. since useless and pathetic and omega became synonymous with simon.

she's everything he fears and hates and admires and envies and desires and covets. everything he ever wished but could never be.

he does his best to steer clear of her. does his job, of course. would never let anything keep him from completing his objectives, keep him from making sure everyone on his team made it back in one piece. wouldn't jeopardize the one good thing in his life just because an alpha has his skin prickling and his hind brain whining for something he'll never be worthy of.

soap's a force of nature unto herself, though. persistent doesn't begin to describe her. every obstacle he attempts to put in her way, she bulldozes right through them. leaves a trail of destruction in her wake with a beatific smile on her face and a manic, gleeful light in her too-blue eyes.

for whatever reason, she's set her eyes on ghost and nothing he does or says seems to sway her from getting closer to him. she seeks him out if they're ever in the same room. will lean into his personal space. will ask him question after question and stare until he gives her an answer good enough to satisfy her curiosity. will sit next to him during meals and shamelessly nab food from his tray before giving him things off of hers (he steadfastly ignores the warmth that pulses in his chest when he realizes everything she puts on his plate are things that he enjoys).

will place a steady hand on his arm or shoulder or back (the one time she touched his chest is seared into his memory). doesn't blink when he flinches. will just smile - a little smile that has too many meanings for ghost to parse - before staring him right in the eye and touching him again. like she's daring him to run away, to tell her to stop.

he never does, tongue tied and mind wiped of every thought.

he doesn't know what she wants, is the thing. to be friends? colleagues? more? less? to be the first to peel back a layer of the thing called ghost and brag to everyone else that she's succeeded where so many others have failed?

to be one soul inhabiting two separate bodies?

eventually, though, he buckles under her continued attentions. like all man made things when faced with the awesome power of nature, his defenses are washed away, eroded until nothing remains but the tender core of a man. of an omega desperate to feel wanted and desired and safe.

until all that's left in the aftermath is simon.

it's terrifying. he feels naked. scraped raw. unmasked. seen.

he expects many things once she corners him in his office and he gives in. expects condemnation. ridicule. confusion. scathing remarks as to his designation. expects to be left in tatters after she realizes that her efforts were wasted on him.

instead, she kisses him. instead, she slides a gun calloused hand to the back of his neck and pulls him down, down, down until their lips meet. instead, she steals the breath from his lungs and the thoughts from his stuttering mind and his awareness of the world beyond a flimsy door.

ghost is remade, reborn, in the seconds-hours-years they kiss. he's left gasping, knees weak and hands fisted in soap's ridiculous (stupidly attractive and absolutely against regulations) mohawk, in the aftermath. it takes more effort than he's willing to admit for his eyes to flutter open. he's met by a sight that steals his breath all over again.

soap's eyes are blown wide, pupils rimmed by the crimson of an alpha barely grasping at self-control. a delightfully fetching blush has spread from her cheeks down the column of her throat. her lips are glossy with their shared spit, swollen and tender looking. just beyond them, he can see a hint of wickedly sharp fangs.

she's the most beautiful person he's ever seen. it's almost debilitating how much he wants her. how much he wants to be hers.

"mine," she says and it takes his foggy mind an embarrassing amount of time to realize that that wasn't some kind of auditory hallucination. that she's just... staked her claim on him. just like that.

ghost is left blinking owlishly, mouth opening and closing but unable to form a comprehensive thought, much less words.

well.

"my simon." a purr underscores her claim. "my omega."

and who's ghost to tell her otherwise? how could he possibly deny her the one thing that has ever felt right in his long, wretched life?

and then something something sudden heat and rut something something reverse knotting something something claiming bites something something years later something something retirement and pups something something they lived happily ever after

...yeah. just a silly little thot 🙂

#ghoap #ghostsoap #soapghost #john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #cod #call of duty #omegaverse #fem!soap #alpha/beta/omega dynamics #into the wips folder

[weirdkpopgirl]

Warmth | Jisung Imagine #2

Title: Warmth

Genre: Hurt/comfort, a little fluff

Warnings: mention of poor mental health, touches on depression and anxiety a little bit, no breakdowns this time though.

Word Count: 951

Author's Note: First off, I'm so sorry for how inactive I've been lately. I have some pending fics for Mark and Haechan that I've been working on over the past two months now. I'm honestly not sure when they'll be posted. I still wanted to post something this week, so here's a little comfort story for Jisung. On a side note, I've been meaning to show more Park Jisung appreciation. Despite him being the youngest member of his group, he has a lot of maturity that I admire. Anyway, thank you for reading ^ - ^

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You let out a heavy exhale, tearing your attention away from the book in your lap to gaze out the window. The storm from earlier in the evening had settled a bit. Now the rain drops were falling in a soothing, rhythmic pattern. Typically, you found these kinds of nights to be quite peaceful. Particularly when you were nestled in the corner of your sofa, snuggled underneath a soft blanket with a book in the gentle glow of your dimly lit living room.

Yet, the gloomy cloud in your mind quietly returned, preventing you from fully enjoying this precious alone time. That’s when you knew things were getting bad again. When sleep was out of the question, and even your favorite book couldn’t block out the dark thoughts entirely. All the nice days full of smiles and laughter from the past month seemed to be bulldozed over by life’s reminder of your misery.

This time, it was the news of your brother cheating on his wife of five years. After last year, you didn’t think things could get worse after your parents finalized their divorce. And it took a hard slap of reality to make you realize what fool you were to believe that. Now the confirmed fact of how broken your family was, you’ve never felt more alone.

Just when you were being drowned by those depressing thoughts, the phone on the coffee table vibrated. Your heart raced when you saw the message notification from Jisung. 

“I’m here, can you come out to meet me?” 

You hesitated for a moment, wondering what drove your boyfriend to come here at 11:12 pm. But you forced yourself up off the couch and made your way outside your apartment. Once the front door was pushed open, you were met with the sight of Jisung standing in the pouring rain. The tall boy was drenched from head to toe, his dark hair plastered to his forehead, and his clothes stuck to his skinny body.

“Jisung…what are you doing here?” You asked, bewildered. A part of you wanted to scold him for not bringing an umbrella. 

The boy’s eyes dropped down to his feet in embarrassment. “I couldn’t sleep back at the dorm, and I don’t know…I had this weird feeling that something was wrong based on the last time we talked.”

A lump formed in your throat as you listened to him go on about how it’s been a long time since you’ve gotten to see each other in person, and how he just had to make sure you were okay. The young male’s thoughtfulness didn’t fail to touch you.

“Are you okay though?” He asked after a short pause, gently pulling you in closer.

His sudden clinginess took you by surprise. Not many people saw this side of him, not even his members. The two of you locked eyes and in that moment, you could see he was trying to hide just how exhausted he was. Jisung didn’t need to say anything for you to know the stress of his work was beginning to pile up again, making him feel like he was carrying the weight of the world.

You almost didn’t want to let Jisung know about the whirlwind of emotions you’ve been experiencing. But you couldn’t lie to him, knowing he had walked all the way here to check on you. 

“I don’t know what to do,” Your voice trembled as you spoke. “Everything is falling apart.”

Your teeth sank into your lower lip, to keep the tears from escaping. But the way Jisung was looking at you made it difficult. His hand practically covered the side of your face when he cupped it.

“I’m here for you, (Y/n)-ah.” He almost whispered. His deep voice sounded so reassuring at times like this.

As he spoke you felt all the emotions you’ve tried to bury, surge through your body. You couldn’t find the right words or actions to express it. All you knew was that you needed Jisung right now, more than ever. Then as if he read your mind, he leaned in and kissed you without warning.

As Jisung’s lips met yours, the rain began to fall harder, creating a soft pattering sound that filled the air around you. You could feel the cold wetness seep through the thin gray long-sleeve you were wearing. But neither of you cared. The warmth radiating from the kiss was enough.

The kiss was full of longing and comfort, leaving you breathless. But the way his lips pressed gently against yours, the way he held you so securely, it all made you feel like the world stopped for a moment. 

Your hands gripped the collar of his hoodie as you gathered the bravery to kiss him harder. The turmoil of your family situation and the pain you’ve indefinitely been holding in temporarily faded away.

Both of you were gasping for breath, but you remained in one another’s embrace. He offered you a soft smile. “Whatever is going on right now, we’re going to get through it together Jagiya.”

You glanced up at him, your heart swelled up with gratitude and admiration. For the first time in a while, you let out a small laugh.

“I love you so much, Park Jisung.”

He leaned down to place another kiss on your lips. “Not as much as I love you.”

Despite the rain continuing to fall around you, this moment of intimacy meant so much. This was life’s reminder that no matter how heavy the storm may be, you had Park Jisung, and he had you. This knowledge left both of you with a sense of warmth. Nothing could break the bond you two shared.

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#nct dream #nct dream imagines #park jisung #jisung imagines #kpop #jisungie #nct dream angst #jisung x reader #jisung scenarios #nctzen #czennie #nct fics

[bonefall]

are there any cats youve assigned music to/assosciate with certain songs?

What you mean like, the fake AMVs that play in my head on long bus rides? Sure why not, I'll bite and have some fun. Bonefall Rewrite playlist lmao

I'll try not to share music that I picked up from AMVs because hopefully you guys know that Firestar's actual, factual theme song is Bones Shatter

(Below the cut is 10 videos worth of music. Most of my music tastes involve killing and stabbing and murder and biting, be forewarned.)

I wrote a whole essay once on how To The Blade by Everything Everything is the perfect song for Ferncloud and Cloudtail in the wake of learning that Ashfur is the imposter once, but then deleted it lmao. The song is about the limitations of empathy in understanding the actions of a monster, how you'll drive yourself insane thinking of everything you could have done differently, and the intense feelings of helplessness and shame in losing someone you cared about to extremism

It's lost a little bit in the Rewrite... though I am thinking of making Cloudtail Ashfur's mentor to preserve it a bit because I really sitting there and thinking about this song with them in particular.

I think Whole Lotta Rosie is just a delightful song for Tangleburr, and AC/DC in general. Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap, also. She's just my little hard AC/DC girl I love her, this kinda rock music just fits her so perfectly

Literally every single time I think about Reedwhisker, the beat of Hard Knock Life (2014) comes into my head... and also the Spiderman video. Reedwhisker is my favorite butt monkey.

For Brokenstar I imagine a lot of different things, Barbarism Begins At Home by the Smiths is a common one, but I also gravitate towards Goat by Man Man for how the whole song feels like a chaotic fever dream. Something about it captures the way his whole life feels desperate and overwhelming, like something is deeply wrong and he knows it, but can't figure out what it is until after he's dead.

And on that note, Runningnose, all his schemes with Brokenstar, his whole story, I literally can imagine the animatic in my head to Snuff Out the Light, the villain song cut from Emperor's New Groove. I can see the ENTIRE thing. God had to nerf me by preventing me from being able to focus on anything because the minute I can do one task for more than 30 minutes it's over for the entire world

Breezepelt just after Bonefall OotS and how he's desperately looking for meaning in anything, how he DOESN'T settle down with Heathertail right away, him joining The Kin and getting himself in trouble and feeling like he dug himself into a deeper and deeper hole....... Beat Down by Mr Heavenly

Darkstar and Little Dark Age by MGMT also lives in my head

I vibe with Cruel Summer by Bananarama of all things for Hollyleaf so hard that I am actually considering changing the season of the last book of Bonefall Po3 to Summer. I don't share every reason for all my random worldbuilding changes because sometimes, it really is just "this song made me imagine something so vividly I've Gotta Do It Now"

Uhhh Aro/Ace Rosetail and love related songs my beloved. I don't even have a deeper reason. I just associate this song with Rosetail.

This one's for canon Tawnypelt as well as Bonefall Tawnypelt; do you guys realize the untapped potential of Tawny and Lady Gaga? The fact she denies all Tigerstar's attempts to get in contact with her?? How she shows up in a dream ONCE to yell at Hawkfrost and Brambleclaw about how much of a bad idea it is??? BEYONCE???? Come ON, GAY PEOPLE, YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN ON THIS LIKE 10 YEARS AGO

Tawnypelt x Telephone by Lady Gaga my beloved

Aaaaaand also, there is an internet where they were supposed to put my brain so I did listen to Dark Souls boss music when I wrote Speckletail's Bulldozer.

#Music #Bonefall Rewrite #Tawnypelt #Rosetail #Hollyleaf #Darkstar #Breezepelt #Reedwhisker #Brokenstar #Runningnose #Tangleburr #Ashfur #You can judge my music tastes if you want as long as you remember im correct about everything ever

[themetalvirus]

wait WAIT WAIT WAIT HOW DID I NOT CONSIDER THIS DETAIL BEFORE NOW IM A FOOL

egghog posting, also after i typed out the new idea i realized it sounded stupid. need your thoughts

okay. so. since the beginning of the au, i've known in my head that overuse of chaos energy's power literally makes your skin start to boil (akin to a third degree burn) and is incredibly painful (like... a third degree burn). this is why silver has scars on his forehead marking - he is pushed too hard both by eggman and himself to do more than he can reasonably manage.

supers (and the hyper forms by extension) can only be sustained for a certain amount of time before the chaos emeralds are ejected. theres a lot of like. metaphysical Soul Power and Strength and Control involved.

eggman initially plans to have the boys train and hone their attunement to chaos energy (and their misc specific powers and skills) until adulthood. all three of them need to have total control of their souls and bodies, and eggman must have total control of their minds. he needs all three of them to share the load of universe-ending amounts of chaos energy and control it well enough to construct his new, perfect world. the plan is to keep them alive afterward as a reward (and to keep him company and make sure all that work didn't go to waste)

turns out, two of them left. eggman only has full control over one of their minds. and he can't waste time trying to get everything perfect anymore - he wants his new universe now before the others can foil his ultimate plan

the new idea, though: he rushes to the finish line after the other two leave because he knows that sonic will die if he goes through with the plan. all three of them sharing the burden would hurt badly, but with the energy spread out between three people trained their entire lives, there was a chance they could survive. one person couldn't.

on one hand, eggman realizes that sonic is a one and done deal. if he makes eggman's new world, dies, and it turns out that world isn't perfect, he can't really do shit about it. on the other hand, we know that eggman is short-sighted (metal virus) and impatient (ha ha metal virus i am talking about you). he wants power and he wants it now.

that's why he was already taking over the world while raising his "sons" - he wants power. he'll take anything and everything he wants with force and bulldoze over anyone in his way without mercy, we know this. he can't stand waiting to mold the world into what he thinks is best when he can just work on that now. the "ending and rewriting the universe" plan was more of a conceptual finale for the inevitable end of his life. rather, to prevent the inevitable end of his life. we know he'd also probably turn himself into a cyborg or upload his consciousness into the computer or something if he thought he was dying but you know what i mean. plus, he lives for spectacle - turn himself into a cyborg or turn himself into god, which do you think he'd choose?

anyway. when silver and shadow defect, he sees the writing on the wall for that finale. they're too strong to leave frolicking around in the wild. he made them strong, so he knows better than anyone the damage they can cause when they are not on your side. he loses ground quickly, territory shrinking as the resistance makes use of their powerful new tools. he's frustrated.

in this universe, he's very much used to victory. not in terms of the big world-ending plans (they always get foiled), but in terms of capturing territory and developing new factories and bases and what have you. so losing what he felt was secure, a reassurance that he is powerful makes him hungry for a kick of overwhelming power. to show everybody what real victory looks like.

important: sonic does not know that eggman is going to kill him for the sake of the new universe until he is in the process of making it, starts to slowly melt away and turn into primordial ooze, and eventually goes through eggman's memories himself. so the idea is there's now TWO blows to his psyche: not only is there No Love in eggman's mind or heart for him, but he was Literally Going To Kill Him.

in sonic's head, and from what eggman directly told him, they would live in the new, perfect world together as a family. that was, of course, a lie.

those of you who know the clown baby already know how he would feel about that so i'll spare you the details. anyway (deltarune explosion)

#exoticbutterstxt

[idristardis]

SUPER Late Thoughts on S9 of NCIS: LA

Ok. So.

Just finished S9 and have started on S10 (I'm caught up through the cold open of S10 E6 - Asesinos), and I have....thoughts. Thoughts that were likely already thought and said and dissected on here literal years ago, but still. I has them.

Under the cut because they'll be a ramble and this way you can save yourselves if you want to!

This really focuses on S9 E16 - Warrior of Peace through S10 E1 - To Live and Die in Mexico with a few notes from S10 E 4 - Hit List and S10 E6 - Asesinos).

Moseley

Okay. I know that she was brought in as an antagonist figure - someone who was there until Hetty could be retrieved from Vietnam but who could never be Hetty. But man....they made her really hard to empathize with. Like, at all. And for a character who was a mother who would do anything for her son, it's kind of stunning that the writers made her so unlikeable. Like, there is not much there to latch on to.

Perhaps it's the fact that I binged most of the back half of the season in quick succession rather than waiting for it week to week, but seeing her trajectory of vengeance play out made it clear that she wanted what she wanted and she was going to get it - and she either didn't think about or didn't care about the consequences until it was too late. Perhaps she was arrogant and thought she could beat the odds and nothing bad would happen to her or her team, but...boy did she misjudge.

In S10 E1 when Killbride tells her "you got everything you wanted" and her retort is that that makes it sound "like a wish list off Amazon," I found it hard to disagree with him. The fact that Moseley couldn't answer him when he asked her if it was worth the price was incredibly telling - she couldn't say no, because that would devalue Hidoko's sacrifice, and she couldn't say yes because then that would make her seem monstrous.

But she did bulldoze over everyone and everything that stood in her way to get what she wanted. And she got it...but at the cost of Hidoko's life and nearly Deeks' and Callen's. Sam wasn't in that great shape either by the time all was said and done. She wanted to rescue her son from his father because she saw Spencer Williams as a monster (and he was no angel) but she sacrificed a lot of her moral high ground by the time she got Derek back.

Hetty, for all her machinations and behind the scenes dealings does understand the value of cultivating contacts and trust and working with a team when it's beneficial. Then, when you need them, the team will work with you and trust and follow you. Moseley showed why the lone wolf/smartest in the room/dictatorial leadership mindset has huge flaws.

I wrote everything above before I watched S10 E4 and S10 E6 (granted, only up to the cold open of the latter) and now that I have seen those as well...my impression still hasn't changed. Moseley's first instinct is to not trust Callen and the team, not rely on NCIS as an agency at all, but just go pick up Derek herself after hearing about the cartel hit list. This is AFTER everything the team did to get him back in Mexico...sheesh!

Rather than coming off as protective Mamabear, it still has a ring of high-handed, imperious, "only I know best" attitude - and other characters notice it, as evidenced when Ochoa tells her that she "started a personal war" to get Derek back in Mexico and she can't do that all over again. Yet...the opener of S10 E6 has her going lone wolf and killing a cartel hit man, then going off the grid. I'm not sure, maybe Hetty's mysterious disappearance is tied up in what's going on with Moseley, but to this point, it seems like Moseley is just continuing on a path of doing whatever she wants/thinks is best and damn the consequences. Perhaps at this point, it's fueled by fear over what being on the hit list means for Derek, but still...it seems very "it's my way or no way," and it makes it hard to sympathize with her.

I think the writers wasted an opportunity here with the character to give her more to work with and be more fully rounded. It's a shame.

Hidoko

One of the things I had been spoiled on prior to viewing this season was the fact that Hidoko died, and died in rather horrible and unfair circumstances. But nothing really prepared me for how it actually happened. The character and actress deserved far FAR better than that send off.

Sam and Callen

Callen first, actually. Starting with S9 E16 - Warrior of Peace and moving through the back end of the season, Callen experienced a profound shift in personal circumstances (letting his father go through with the exchange for the American photographers in S9 E16), but he never let it shake his cool as team leader.

Chris O'Donnell did a lovely job of expressing Callen's anger and grief in the silent final beats of S9 E16 as he watched his father go. The camera lingers on his face and he used every minute change of expression to mean so much. It was very well done...and though he never explicitly says it, I think that going through that experience is part of why he agrees to help Moseley (other than his sense of duty as team leader - i.e. if anyone from his team is getting involved, it's him). Having experienced the unjust loss of a family member to circumstances beyond his control, he doesn't want anyone else to have to go through that.

Sam does explicitly express that sentiment, when he notes that the loss of Michelle is what's driving him to go to Mexico despite his injury - he doesn't want to see another parent (i.e. Moseley) endure grief and pain when they don't have to.

The bantering between them...bickering, really...over whether or not Sam is able to go and able to keep up, is spot on classic Sallen. I particularly enjoyed the moment when they were already in Mexico and Callen snarked something about Sam's cane and Sam just threw it into the underbrush. Oh boys....

But for all of that, the moment when they thought they might die, and Callen tells Sam he can't talk anymore because of his collapsed lung was really powerful and moving. We knew as viewers they'd be okay since the show clearly had been picked up again by the time S10 E1 aired, but the scene was still done really well.

It's interesting that after they returned from Mexico, Sam appeared to be neutral/positive towards Moseley - reassuring her in S10 E4 that she'd find a way to be a good mother again, and offering to keep Derek on his boat for awhile for protection - but privately in conversations with Callen, Sam said that Moseley hadn't cared what happened to them in Mexico and implied distrust/dissatisfaction with her actions. In response, it was Callen who pointed out that she also hadn't asked any of them to actively go there either. Clearly, her actions are still affecting other team members' relationships even after the mission.

Densi

Oh gosh, where do I start?

This was a painful half season for them, but the writers telegraphed it so well and ECO and Dani played it so beautifully. It was clear that they needed to go through a crisis and have some Big Relationship Talks before they could fully get on the same page and really be ready to be married.

I feel like S8 ended with the engagement and they were just riding the buzz of that for the first half of S9, then there was Hetty and Vietnam and by the time the second half of S9 rolled around, Deeks had started having doubts about NCIS as a career path. This started off in S9 E16 when the plan to just offer up Kirkin instead of Callen's father was proposed.

Sam and Kensi were in without a moment's hesitation, but Deeks raised the ethical question of whether consigning Kirkin to the torturous existence that was surely waiting back in Russia, when he wasn't the one that had been requested in the trade, was really what NCIS was supposed to do. He knows Kirkin is no angel and doesn't care for him personally (though Kirkin clearly likes Deeks a lot), but it's still worth asking. But because it's Callen's Dad's freedom at stake and everyone else is in so easily, his objections are minimal and he tucks them away quickly.

But this is where the cracks really start to form...the back half of the season is peppered with commentary in the Densi scenes showing that they are on very different pages about what they want for their wedding. Most of these things are played for humor (they have different ideas about the ceremony and reception, the location, who to invite, haha haha) and are quickly resolved, usually with Deeks just saying he only wants what Kensi wants (which actually just means he's not really participating in the decision-making process). But there are other, bigger, things too.

S9 E17 - The Monster gives us that horrible case with the stitched together people, and at the heart of it, a victim who'd fallen in love with his partner while they were on the job, something that definitely resonates with Deeks...and soon after that, we first start hearing about him wanting to buy a bar. He's so serious about it over the next few episodes that he actually broaches it with Callen before talking to Kensi. Kensi, to her credit, does jump on board with the idea after her initial shock and surprise, and does so pretty quickly. I think she sees that having some sort of post-NCIS plan is important to him, but I think she misjudges/doesn't realize how soon he wants to make post-NCIS life a reality.

By the time S9 E23 - A Line in the Sand rolls around, these things have been weighing on Deeks for awhile, I think, but they keep getting shoved aside in favor of cases and more pressing concerns. I have to think, though, that seeing Sam get shot didn't help his line of thinking at all. And so we get to the point where he can't just follow along with the rest of the team when they insist on going to Mexico. He raises logical points about this being Moseley's custody battle that they should have no real part in. It may be a little cold, but it's not untrue - and unlike Hetty, unlike Callen, Moseley's done nothing to win their trust or allegiance (see her section above).

So. The Conversation. After Moseley's fired him and had him escorted from the building - she really had to rub that in, didn't she? That awful conversation in the parking garage. They're clearly talking past each other - Deeks wasn't trying to tell Kensi "don't be who you are" or "don't believe in what you believe in," and he knows how much the job is a part of her identity. But I think that's what she was hearing - an ultimatum. "We can't be married if you don't give up your job." But I think that what Deeks was really saying was that he wasn't sure that HE could do this anymore, actually, he's pretty sure he can't, and he's trying to remind her that while the job is part of each of them, and part of who they are together, it's not ALL of who they are as a couple.

Hard as it was for Kensi (and the audience) to hear, I think that the "I think we shouldn't be getting married" needed to be said...because they weren't facing up to the different things they wanted before that point. She had to then make him confront the fact she may never want to leave this job, she may never want to have kids (or she might want to and they might be unable), and he was trying to say not "quit this job or I won't marry you" but "we shouldn't be getting married when we're this far apart on some pretty big issues, so let's get that sorted out." Then, of course, there were goons (ahem, Moseley's escort officers) waiting and no time to finish the conversation so they left things in a horrible muddle...

...but of course Deeks showed up for the flight to Mexico anyway because he's "still your partner" and the team is, as Sam ironically put it, "one big happy family."

There was some resolution to the Densi issues in S10 E1, though not quite as explicitly stated as I would have wished. Deeks is unconscious for much of the episode...which gives Kensi a chance to contemplate the fear of losing him for quite a good chunk of time as she's hauling him through the desert. I think that prior to this, even up through their argument in S9 E23, there's a part of her that can't imagine living life any other way - she wants to do this job, and she wants to do it with him. Things have been (mostly) fine despite some of their near misses and scrapes before...they'll always find a way to get out of it, so why shouldn't she keep doing what she loves? But she has a looong time in this episode to think about what it would mean to keep doing that job without Deeks and what losing him would really be like. It's a long, slow, slog through the desert where she contemplates what she really values in life.

She doesn't get much dialogue to support her emotional journey here, but Dani's face said quite a lot in many of those scenes, and there was a piece of dialogue that I think spoke to her state of mind - where she tells him she'd carry him forever if he'd just wake up. This, and their episode closing exchange of vows to each give the other everything in this life, support a shift towards greater unity of purpose and being on the same page/ready to finally be married. They've figured out that each other comes first and they're not willing to put anything - jobs, kids, etc. - ahead of the other. It's just that the show allowed Deeks the dialogue to show this evolution - at the end, he says "I was wrong, I want to marry you." Kensi is not given any dialogue to show that she feels differently except vowing to give him everything. As is usually the case with this show, I want more Densi dialogue!!

---------

Okay...that was really tl; dr...but it feels good to be back!!

#ncis: la #ncisla #recap ramblings #metaaa #densi #S9 #S10 #sam hanna #g callen #marty deeks #kensi blye #hetty lange #shay moseley #harley hidoko #i've been away too long #i don't think future ramblings will be THIS long #had to get back in the rhythm

[slashtakemylife]

OMG REMEMBERING THAT SHE HULK LINE ABOUT STEVE JUST MADE ME THINK HOW THEY KEEP RUINING STEVE'S CHARACTER EVEN FOLLOWING EXACTLY THEIR OWN STORY

So Steve wasn't a virgin right? Lost that V to a girl in the USO tour, right?

So let's go all the way back to Cap 1, why does Steve get no-bitches? Because he's small and skinny, get it, fair, however in that same movie we get him speaking to Peggy Carter for the first time and he says and I quote "Waiting for the right partner" and that is something that endears Peggy to him because it means Steve isn't like other men that just look for women for satisfaction, he wants a partner.

This is something that literally comes to play straight out in the movie when Peggy sees Steve kissing that girl and she mentions how quickly he found that "right partner", she literally spells it out how she now sees Steve like any other soldier that would jump at any chance to getting laid instead of looking for a real emotional attachment something that of course the movie tells us isn't true since it was the girl who kissed Steve and not the other way around and we don't see him flirt or look for women outside of Peggy to the point of carrying her picture.

This thought and their kiss, that he looked like it was his first kiss, is what reinforced the belief that Steve was a virgin because we, like Peggy, believed in him.

Aaaaand that just got bulldozed by that line in She Hulk like literally over 10 years later

That scene in Cap 1 has now become utterly useless because then looking back, by that point in the movie Steve has already lost his virginity and then he has the AUDACITY to look sheepish when he damn well knows he did in fact the moment he got jacked and women ran to him, something we also see in the movie, he immediately found his "right partner" or at least for the night.

Now if you go into White Male Logic that's probably behind this they'd go like, Oh well he just met Peggy Carter so they aren't as close as they'll be later, they just met once, he can have some ass now, he wasn't married or promised to her you know?

Ok fine! Yes, let's buy it, completely yes totally Steve doesn't have to save his V precisely for Peggy or not even until marriage, which btw at that time was encouraged right? Or at least to women so the idea wasn't far fetched and supposedly should've been honored by someone like Steve but ok also men are men, yes yes Steve can be a horny guy, he's allowed to ok? I mean he had just met Peggy Carter a handful of times ok?

Ok but also the ending of his character is how utterly devoted he is to Peggy, someone he's never even being on a date with, to the point of never actually forgetting her and at the end his perfect ending is finally living his dream of being with the woman he loves and never forgot and is so devoted he decided to leave everything behind and "have a life" with the love of his life.

Y'all don't see anything amiss at that? This is so cracked up because Steve is both Not all men while also being, Yes all men

He is so utterly devoted to Peggy to the point of choosing to literally go back in time to live a life with her while also being actually a horn dog and he totally did it with at least a girl because what man would go on tour with that amount of women that would clearly launch themselves at him and just not get laid with at least one? Amairight? We can't call Steve a man unless he at least fucked a USO girl.

You can almost feel the double standard because

Male writer: of course Steve was loyal and faithful to her, he just got a non serious fling somewhere, he's allowed that right?

Me: So it would've been the same say if Peggy also wasn't a virgin right?

Male writer fumes in anger

If Peggy Carter had been known to have another sexual partner before even meeting Steve I'm sure she would've been hated, let alone one when she'd already met Steve, after Steve is alright because clearly she had to move on and we can assume it was her husband. The idea of Peggy Carter remaining virgin til marriage or at least with the man she was to marry isn't far fetched or difficult to believe but the idea of Captain fcking America, Steve Rogers and also Male, only having sex until marriage or at least with the person he loves is something that bugles the writers or even the public at large just shows you how big double standards are and for me that way of thought is what made the writers decide to add that line and to me personally it leaves a bad taste in my mouth because I have loved Steve's character and resolve and I do like him and Peggy a lot, to have him be reduced back to "men are men" after all is just so sickening

It really boils down to "males are allowed" and also toxic masculinity that he had to not be a virgin to literally just prove a point, what point idk, idk what so bad of thinking he was

Now listen, ok I'll just take it, I don't care he fcked, he couldn't fcked all the USO girls and they could've mentioned it on screen back then, I don't care but then don't double down and try and make me believe how Steve is "different" and oh so honorable even in his private life were he is respectful of women specially to the woman he fell for and was so loyal to her that even time and space couldn't keep them away, don't try to pull that shit now

#rant #marvel rant #steve rogers

[djemsostylist]

In general I feel that most adaptations are terrible, and, at least for all modern adaptations, exist purely to make money for a studio desperate to become "The Next Big Thing™". Now by and large I don't particularly care; does it suck that The Witcher ended up being a super boring political slog instead of a fun monster of the week adventure with a girl and her parents? Sure, but I'm not a part of the The Witcher fandom, most book/game fans recognize the show is shit, and by and large its skipped the public consciousness such that it makes little no impact on much. In fact, The Witcher might, if anything, shed light on creators crapping all over existing IPs to make a name for themselves by using a preexisting IP as a resume to make the things they actually want to make.

Wheel of Time I have no investment in, having never watched the show or read the books, but I'm given to understand that by and large, its fairly universally disliked, and that the book fans are disappointed but largely unaffected by it's current crapness except to note its crapness and move on.

That's not to say that these sort of shit adaptations aren't disappointing; they certainly are, but because the two fandoms were largely unknown in the public conscious, and bad enough that even the most "normy" of people skipped by them, their effect on the existing IP is little.

Star Wars is it's own sort of hell, because while the characters I love are mostly safe (thanks in large part to Disney deciding to write their own stories, thereby inadvertently saving my characters from a fate worse than death), the utter crapness of the current DisneyWars saturates enough of my online fandom life to be mildly annoying in that I can't avoid it. But also, people who are obsessed with Ezra or think that Ashoka Tano are the best thing ever don't bother me much, bc in the Star Wars I knew and loved, these people never existed.

Tolkien is different in a way that is often hard to express, but I think it comes down to both his feelings about his stories, and also the general view of the public. I've had this argument with people a million times, that while yes, the books will always exist, with the current way that media is consumed, the amount of people who have actually read ANY Tolkien at all is smaller than you'd think. I've stumbled across countless posts from people talking about how they are huge Lord of the Rings fans, and have never even read Fellowship.

Now, I'm fully aware that there are people who will be offended by this so called "gatekeeping", but I remain baffled by the sheer number of Tolkien fans who have never actually consumed any of his written works. I'm aware that the Silmarillion is dense, and I'm certainly not about to recommend HoMe to the average reader, but the number of people who speak with authority (and incorrectly) on the themes of his works that have never read past Rivendell is astounding.

And the issue is, by and large, Tolkien is known now more by the Lord of the Rings movies made in the early aughties than he is by the works he wrote. Christopher Tolkien worked tirelessly to ensure that this father's authentic work would be persevered, that anything published posthumously would adhere so strictly to the vision of his father that large chunks remain unwritten to this day.

And then Amazon comes in and bulldozes over everything, and we are asked to be okay with it. More than that, we are asked to accept it, to stop being worried or concerned about it, to just shut up and live with it.

It doesn't matter if you like Rings of Power. It doesn't matter if you have never read a single Tolkien book in your life. It doesn't matter if you think Tolkien is an overblown writer who cared too much about nature and language and not enough about stories (an argument I have sadly seen far too much). The fact remains that Rings of Power and its writers did not give a single fuck about writing anything close to what Tolkien wrote or would have wanted. Rings of Power is crafted to be a resume for it's showrunners on their next steps to Hollywood, and attempt to create the next "GOT", the next Big Thing that will garner them enough fame and attention to let them do what they really want in Hollywood. The show cares nothing for it's source material--that much is clear from the handling of the characters, the butchering of the timelines, the mere fact that they seem to have not even given a single thought to theme or message or meaning.

And while sure, I will always have Tolkien's works for myself and those people who actually love Tolkien, and not the visual representations of his works, butchered onscreen (and yes, I do mean the Jackson movies as well), by and large with the passage of time, Tolkien will come to mean less the stories loving written of a world he envisioned, and more to mean the corporate schlock turned out for profit or the lovingly misguided fan interpretation of one of the greatest fantasy stories of all times, at least to the larger public conscious.

I will never feel bad about my criticism of Rings of Power. Never. Because it wasn't created for anything more than corporate greed and resume building, and each new fact revealed cannot convince me otherwise.

Celeborn is merely the longest in a long line of characters who are victims to a story that uses their names but not their likeness, not their soul, not who they are to the story they were used to create. At this point, it doesn't even make me mad, it makes me sad. The Second Age has always been important to me, for the stories it told and the characters it created, and watching it be handled like this hurts. And I doubt it will ever stop.

#rings of power #tolkien #rop critique #is it criticism to say that a bad thing is bad #im honestly really upset about celeborn #id rather he was dead tbh

[bitacrytic]

blue is not your color [10]

Read Previous Chapter Here

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Warning: there is some Kinn-bashing in this chapter. But don’t worry. We’re following canon, so there’s only so much frustration I can express.

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"I'm sorry."

***

It was about time.

Things had been going too smoothly for a while. Porsche wasn't a dirty secret. He had a job... sort of. And Chay was on his way to college. Life was blue. But blue wasn't exactly the best color, all the time.

That this had all started out as a joke from Arm that festered into an actual cause for concern was ironic. And not in a fun way. In the gut wrenching, heartbreaking, confusing way that adult life always was.

In fact, Porsche was sure a secret boy toy or prostitute on the side, would have hurt less. Because, why the fuck did Kinn know the man who had threatened his uncle and taken ownership of their home, thereby causing Porsche to take a job he'd never wanted?

As he waited, Porsche was reminded of the number of people he'd hit. The people he'd shot. The ones he'd killed. All for a man who was pulling strings to keep Porsche in place. Was anything real? Did he love Porsche?

Were the petals even real?

For all Porsche knew, those could have been faked to lure him into a relationship. What would work more than pity, when you wanted a man to submit to your every whim? And the worst part?

The fact that Kinn wouldn't answer a simple question.

"What the fuck were you thinking?"

"I'm sorry."

"What the fuck do you want?"

"I didn't mean to," Kinn said. "I was just following my father's order."

Said the man who held Porsche's life in his hands. The one who could order Porsche into battle without breaking a sweat. The man who could lock Porsche up, regardless of whatever feelings they had for each other. This man was still just following his father's orders.

"Why me?"

"I'm sorry."

Kinn approached again, even after Porsche asked him to stay away. Like a bulldozer, he kept coming, ignoring Porsche's wishes. Because Kinn was nothing, if not persistent.

Porsche could see it on his face, his desperation to touch Porsche, to hold him, to kiss him. To silence him with affection.

They could never have a conversation, because Kinn wouldn't allow it. He'd smother Porsche with kisses and end it with "I'm sorry" till Porsche choked to death.

All because Porsche had made the intelligent decision to fall in love.

***

"I covered it up in order to help my friend."

***

Porsche laughed when he entered his room. Scratch that. He laughed when he entered the room he was about to pack out from. Because, fuck this family. Fuck them all and their agendas. Why did he think men of the mafia would treat him any different? He was really just another kind of tool on the street for them to extort or use.

Hot on his heels, Kinn entered the room, slowing down like he thought Porsche would somehow not know he was present. Like he hadn't spent the last few months training Porsche like a dog, to sense Kinn without even trying.

Without meaning to, the laughter began to hurt as tears filled Porsche's eyes. When Kinn approached, Porsche shoved him away.

"I swear to god, if you touch me."

Kinn stood back, looking down at the floor.

"Were the petals even real?" Porsche asked, crying, unable to stop the tears. "What... what was this?"

"Was?" Kinn asked.

"What the fuck did you want from me?" When Kinn opened his mouth to speak, Porsche cut him off. "We promised to trust each other. How is that supposed to work if I keep upturning skeletons everywhere I fucking look?"

Screaming, Porsche lifted the stupid, center table and slammed it at the wall.

"I love you."

"Fuck you, Kinn."

Slowly, keeping his hands raised like Porsche was a feral animal, Kinn approached.

"Everything I've felt for you, is real."

"Not real enough to tell me that I'm essentially your slave."

"You're not my slave."

"You own my family's home. You have my brother living here. My life belongs to you. You don't see how that's... god!" Porsche turned away, and headed to their room, once again, beginning to pack his things. Because his life was now allergic to stability. He'd better not get too comfy at home though. Who knew what life would do to make that a temporary stay?

"Please, Porsche."

"Get your hands off me," Porsche said as soon as Kinn engulfed him in a hug from behind. "Kinn."

"I don't want you to go."

"I'm tired of having this same conversation."

"Please. I need you."

"No, Kinn," Porsche said, turning around, trying to shrug him off as Kinn held on, locking his hands around Porsche's body. "Stop."

"I can't lose you."

"Kinn-"

"Porsche-"

He managed to pull one arm free as he slapped Kinn across the face. Kinn let go, staggering backward. Together, breathing in unison, they stood in the quiet room, staring at one another.

Porsche wasn't sorry. If anything, he wished he could kick some sense into Kinn. But he was also very aware of the fact that one word from this man and this entire situation could just turn into something else. Porsche had to tread very lightly if he wanted to get out in one piece.

"I need some space."

"I don't want to force you to do anything you don't want to do."

"I'm going home."

Kinn clenched his jaw, frowning at the floor like it had insulted him.

"I'm not going to stop Porsche."

He waited for a second, just to be sure that Kinn was aware of what he'd said.

When Kinn didn't say anything more, when he didn't add any conditions, Porsche moved quickly. After all, he'd have to get Chay's things as well. He couldn't dally.

***

"I hope you're eating."

***

Porsche cried everywhere.

He cried in the shower. He cried on his bike. He cried in the kitchen. He even cried so much one night, that Chay showed up to cuddle him back to sleep. He'd never known how empty his life had become, ever since Kinn started being the center of Porsche's world.

In some strange way, how Kinn liked to behave like he needed Porsche to survive, Porsche had somehow learned to feel the same way. Because even though he hated Kinn. Even though he wished he'd never see Kinn's face again, every time Porsche closed his eyes, all he could see was Kinn. Smiling. Crying. Angry. Shocked. Suspicious. Every single way the human face could contort, Porsche had memorized it on Kinn's face.

"I left some groceries at your gate."

"Pol and Arm keep asking about you."

"The apartment feels empty without you."

Porsche wasn't picking his calls. That didn't mean Kinn wasn't leaving messages everyday.

In his own way, Kinn thought he was giving Porsche space. But he was still just everywhere. Then again, the messages were a step up from last time when Kinn had come barreling into Porsche's home, like he owned the place. On a balancing scale, the messages were a lot lighter than any other measures Kinn would have taken.

Was that progress?

Porsche had no idea.

That night, as he was smoking outside, because Chay didn’t want the smell in the house, Kinn called. Porsche watched it ring for a while, before he answered it, placing the phone to his ear.

“Hello? Porsche?”

Porsche’s lips shook as he tried to think of something to say.

“Are you alright?”

Porsche shrugged.

“Have you eaten?”

He nodded. And yes, he was very aware that Kinn couldn’t see him.

“Where are you?” Porsche asked, clearing his throat.

“I can be there in five minutes,” Kinn said.

Ten minutes later, Porsche was lying in bed with Kinn holding him from behind. His eyes drooped, about to fall asleep when Kinn started rubbing circles on his stomach.

"Can we talk?" Kinn asked.

Porsche didn't answer, because frankly, he didn't think there was anything Kinn would say that he'd believe, currently.

***

"I have been very happy since I got you."

***

Kinn was trying his best. Porsche could tell.

He seemed to want to overshare, to express how he was feeling about everything, to let Porsche know that he wanted to talk about the big stuff, without actually bringing up the big stuff. It was a little pathetic and endearing in a way.

At some point, it became obvious that Kinn wasn't planning on going home. He'd situated himself in Porsche’s home, determined to make a life for himself, like it was, in any way sustainable. And just as Porsche was beginning to trust it, just as things were starting to feel real, to calm down, to arrange themselves in a manner that didn't make Porsche want to put a bullet in his own brain, Korn showed up with pictures.

And yeah, Porsche should have known his two feet were starting to feel too steady not to attract calamity again.

***

“Do you want me to go with you?”

***

It made sense that it would come down to this. Porsche wasn’t surprised anymore. The fact that his first instinct was to pick up a gun was evidence of how far down he’d come. That he wanted to kill, was another instinct he’d garnered. Never mind the fact that he would just be creating another version of himself in whatever family members the man left behind.

Except, this time, it wouldn’t be because of an innocent accident. It would be because he made the conscious decision to commit murder.

Peak sainthood, really.

He didn’t know when he’d started crying, grabbing Kinn because he felt like he was falling into a pit of his own making. He’d done this. Porsche had come here. He could claim it was Korn’s manipulation, because on some level, it was. But at the end of the day, it was Porsche’s choice to pick up the gun, come all the way down here and attempt to open the car door.

If that little girl hadn’t…

He imagines what would have happened if he pulled the trigger and the girl saw him. If he pulled it at all and no one saw him. If he pulled it and the man died, even if he got away, it would still be that Porsche had murdered an unarmed man. Not a gang member. Not an armed thug. Not someone looking to kill him, too. Just another human being trying to live their own lives.

And it would never bring his parents back.

He’d been willing to sacrifice his life, his freedom for something so wicked, momentarily forgetting that Chay was right there, that he wasn’t thinking only about himself.

“Your mom and dad would be proud of you,” Kinn said.

Would they, Porsche wanted to ask.

Because when he looked back on his life from the last year, Porsche couldn’t help but wonder what parent would be proud of the huge mess that Porsche had made.

#hanahaki fic #canon-compliant #Porsche POV #angst #bad decisions #kinnporsche

[indirys-wp]

Far Horizons - Ch. 3 (Tsu'teyXfem!oc Avatar fic) regular posts on wattpad

WARNING: mentions of SA and abuse that might not be suitable for some readers.

JEALOUSY struck Ruth Carson in the strangest of ways. In the passing days that Jake's cot in the avatar hut remained empty, the second pair of brand new boots sat untouched just under the beds edge, she grew angry. One visit to the forest and Jake had somehow made contact with Omaticaya and survived, somehow gaining the chance to be instructed in their ways, to be taught as if he were one of their own. She would do anything to have his opportunity. In fact, she planned to find a way to join. If not to be trained, but to simply see those of the clan she missed so badly.

"Your anger is showing a lot today," Grace murmured from where she sat in front of a microscope, eyes full of the light it reflected.

Ruth shot her a look from where she sat in front of her own microscope. "Really? I wouldn't have noticed unless you told me." Her gaze looked off toward the link room, where Jake was currently in a session, doing who knows what outside of base.

Grace pulled away from her work and focused on the younger woman. "You can be upset with Jake for being presented an opportunity you wished for yourself," Grace stated simply. "Or you can be happy that we have a way back in with the clan again. Without his foot in the door, all those bridges that were burned would stay that way."

Ruth forced herself not to scoff. "They're teaching someone who has absolutely no knowledge of their culture, their beliefs or language," Ruth muttered while leaning back in the computer chair she'd been sitting in. She was starting to sound like Norm had when they'd first learned of Jake's opportunity.

"Perhaps it is best he knows nothing," Grace shrugged. "If he knows nothing, he has nothing to unlearn. It'll be similar to teaching a child to them."

Ruth rolled her eyes at the sensible thinking Grace was doing. She didn't want to hear reasoning. She wanted to complain about why she upset.

Here she was, a thirty-three year old woman upset that a jarhead marine with no qualifications got to experience and do things she'd trained years for. She didn't know how else to put more bluntly for Grace, but for the sake of her dignity the blonde haired woman stayed silent with her thoughts.

Grace had always been a kind hand with a good guidance. Sometimes she envisioned her as the mother she never had.

"I suppose so," Ruth conceded. She frowned after a few moments of silence. "Part of me wonders if the children will even remember me. If Neytiti will want to have anything to do with us after Sylwanin. . ." She quieted for a moment. Ruth often wished the deceased sister of Neytiri had not voiced her protests of the RDA's aggressive tactics for mining and the collection of resources. Destroying a bulldozer had led to her demise.

Neytiri's sister's death, among the few others that had perished in the attack on the school house, had been the sealing punch that broke any ties the clan had with the avatar teams. The severing of the connection along with the innocent lives lost had turned something inside Dr. Ruth Carson. Somewhere inside, a storm brewed.

"Sylwanin," Grace sighed. "She was one of the kindest of those students. I remember how much she and Neytiri enjoyed your company."

Ruth nodded. The early months of her life on Pandora had been filled with days in the school house, teaching children and adult Na'vi alike English. It had been everything she could have hoped for in coming to Pandora. It was simpler then.

Now, too much had happened. Things changed, as well as did Ruth.

Max Patel, one of Ruth's colleagues and one of the other doctors in the avatar program, interrupted their conversation as he made his presence known. He looked between them both, his glasses not hiding the evident trouble in his eyes.

"Grace, Ruth," he said by way of greeting. His voice seemed somewhat shaky. "We've, uh, got a problem."

"Well, spill it," Ruth exclaimed, now worried.

Max sighed, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "I went up to main deck and saw Jake debriefing the Colonel and the other officers on Hometree's structure," he told them. "He was explaining every detail he'd knew. From what I could gather, I would assume they have some sort of plans involving the clan but I have no idea what."

The Colonel was using Jake, then. Ruth had been curious what corporate planned on having him do on Pandora considering he never went through the avatar program or any lab training whatsoever. It seemed they were using him as an insider. For whatever reason, it was unclear. But they were currently in dangerous waters she was not ready to navigate.

Rage immediately took Ruth. Miles had done far too much to her already, she'd been damned if she allowed him to meddle with the avatar program now.

He was a narcissistic, control hungry monster she wished she'd never even tried being a friend with. That had been her first mistake, allowing him to think he had given him some sort of invitation to her. She'd show him exactly what he was entitled to: a literal ass kicking. Screw whatever corporate would do to her. Money meant nearly nothing on Pandora, only a promise that one would return to earth with an outrageous amount of cash. She could spend a week in a cell, as well.

Without warning, Ruth was on her feet and making her way through the bio-lab for the colonel's office. If she didn't get her threat through his thick skull, she would just go to Selfridge. She'd find a way to light a fire up under his Ranger Rick ass to prevent his influence over the avatar program from ever happening again. And if that didn't work, she'd take it higher. She had no fucks to give.

"Ruth—Ruth, wait—," Max could barely say as he made an effort to chase after her once noticing she'd taken off. She was nearly three quarters of the way down the hall before he finally caught up, trying his best to convince her to hold back.

"Ruth, seriously don't do this," Max almost pleaded. "We don't need this kind of flak between departments right now, especially if it has to do with the colonel."

"Fuck the colonel," Ruth muttered as he followed her. They were nearly to the wing that held his office. "I can say that, considering I'm not one of his mindless military mutts. He has no reign over me."

"Ruth, this is going to make everything worse," Max sighed as he finally conceded, peeling away as she barged through Miles's door.

The first thing her eye caught upon entering the office was the trophies he'd made sure to collect since being on Pandora. Artifacts and items from the Na'vi and not in the sense that she had them, as a gift and token of appreciation. He had a bow, same as Selfridge, mounted above his desk on the wall like a prize animal head. She hated the sight of it, knowing what she knew.

The Na'vi treasured their bows, as they they crafted them themselves and used them for everything. They were a tool that supported the way of life, provided and took. Yet Miles had one mounted above his desk, one he stole from a hunter. Likely from their dead hands.

Once her green eyes landed on him, he offered her a smirk, the crude scars a crossed the side of his head contorting with his expression. He set down the pen that had been in his hand on the paperwork he'd likely been working on. His camouflage jacket was rested on the back of his chair, his toned muscles exposed under his dark tank like a threatening display.

"And what do I owe the pleasure of this visit, Dr. Carson?" He purred in his taunting way. His blue eyes raked her up and down.

"Getting your meddling ass out of my department," Ruth barked with venom, a sneer on her face.

"Whatever do you mean?" He asked her as if he truly didn't know. "I have no part in what you science pukes do. I simply keep this place secured and defended."

Ruth wanted to punch him square in the face, yet she knew the repercussions she'd face. Even for his age, early fifties she had to guess, he was still fit and well maintained. She supposed he had to be for a Marine Corps colonel. She chose that a rough handling and some hand cuffs at the hands of this man were not worth it today. Her previous thoughts on kicking his ass faded.

"You're using Jake Sully for information," she spat. "I have no idea what for or why you'd have any use of an avatar, but I'm here to give you your one and only warning. I will fuck you up."

His sly smirk turned into a grin. "Look at you, grown a pair of balls I see. You and I could've made a good team. Too bad you didn't use the opportunity when you had it," he reached forward and grabbed the glass of brandy he'd likely been working on. "I could've pulled a lot of strings for you, sweet heart. You would have to be fighting tooth and nail for anyone on this damned base to show you some respect. Coulda been living nice and comfy, not in that tiny shit room you call a home. There's a lot of benefit to being an officer's wife." He took a swig of the liquor. "Too bad you chose wrong."

Tears. She was fighting tears the longer she stood in front of him. Yet, she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing her run. She was a doctor with a prestigious background in research and development with the avatar program, a feat not even two dozen humans in existence had done.

He'd wanted her as arm candy, to receive even the slightest bit more money from corporate and the DOD for having a spouse, particularly on a foreign moon. Those were the ulterior motives he'd have allowed for the outside world to see, to appear they'd somehow found each other in the most hostile environment to man. She knew he was truly and utterly obsessed with her from the moment he'd lied eyes in her. He wanted her to be his and no one else's.

"You act as if you wanted something real out of me," she uttered while trying to maintain her strength. "I show up to Pandora and within the first week you are trying to get into my pants, convincing me you were a good person when I merely accepted the opportunity to make a new professional colleague on this alien world," she was nearly screaming now. "Instead, you got me drunk and tried coerce me into sex, spouting these bullshit suggestions of a sham marriage that would keep your ass in the position it was: safe and secure. No one would question your whoring around if you had a wife." The tears finally spilled. "You are everything that is wrong with the military. With this corporation."

He didn't seem to care the slightest about the truths she spit, not even acknowledging any of the things she'd said about him or that he'd done. A typical gaslighter, she'd quickly learned he was.

"You made your bed, sweet heart," he shrugged, that disgusting, evil smirk on his lips. "Now lay in it."

She turned heel and left the room as quickly as she could, the tears she'd been holding back finally spilling onto her cheeks. Her ash blonde hair billowed behind her as she darted down the hall at a stride that almost sent her into a run. She hated Miles Quaritch with everything she had.

•••

JAKE arrived to the bio-lab early the next morning, his old military issued bag holding his belongings on his back as he wheeled himself in. He caught sight of Grace, who was gathering a few random items he had no idea the purpose for. Norm was assisting at her side, while Ruth stood solemnly nearby. The blank expression on her face as stared at the ground peaked his interest, but he didn't dare ask her what was wrong.

"Where are we going?" Jake asked Grace. He didn't quite understand the reasoning for leaving Hell's Gate, but he wasn't going to complain. He spent the majority of his waking time in a link unit.

"We're gettin' outta dodge," Grace told him, sorting through some lab supplies. "Way up in the mountains."

Norm paused for a moment, stunned. "The Hallelujah mountains?" When Jake shot him a questioning look, he rolled his eyes. "The legendary floating mountains of Pandora? Heard of those?"

Jake found out quickly what Norm had meant by floating. In Trudy's helicopter, with Ruth, Grace, and Norm's avatars precariously arranged in the cargo hold, the five of them crammed into the cockpit. Upon finally entering the mountains, Jake was confused as to why clouds and mist were the only things visible, until they finally broke through the haze and the mountains came into view. The awe of it all lasted far longer than he'd expected.

Trudy eventually landed the helicopter on a open space on one of the mountains where two trailer looking units resides, attached to one another by a tube like structure.

Ruth helped Jake into his wheelchair as the aircraft began to wind down, setting it on the ground and offering to help him down. Jake was still curious as to why she remained quiet the entire time since they'd left Hell's Gate, not uttering a word. From what he'd gathered since arriving, she was a chatty person.

"Ruth," Jake asked once the others had went ahead, leaving them in the middle of the distance between the modular buildings and the helicopter. She paused, looking down at him through her oxygen mask, shouldering her backpack further onto her shoulder. "What's wrong?"

Her expression didn't give away anything. "Rough couple of days," she replied loud enough for him to hear. "That's all." She continued walking, leaving him where he was.

Her reply most definitely sounded like a lie, but he wasn't going to force her to talk. He had far too much on his own mind at the moment, including the pretty native woman that was guiding and teaching him everyday. He pursed his lips before slowly following behind.

#farhorizons #avatar the way of water #avatar oc #avatar #avatar fic #james cameron avatar

[jeonjcngkook]

i just let this man into my life n walk all over me n rUIN MY EXISTENCE IS ACTUALLY SICKENING

#I MERELY LIVE AT THIS MOMENT #HE WALKS AROUND LOOKING LIKE THIS JUST FOR FUCKING FUN IM CONVINCED #HE KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT HE IS DOING AND EXACTLY HOW HE EFFECTS PEOPLE #HE JUST LIVED HIS LIFE BULLDOZING EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING IN HIS WAY #I WOULD LET HIM SLAM ME INTO MY COFFIN AND LAY ME TO REST HIMSELF #SPIT ON ME KING AND LEAVE ME TO SUFFER #HE LOOKS SO FUCKING GOOD?????? ALL THE FUCKING TIME?????????? #I DONT !!!!!!!! HAVE A MINUTE !!!!!!!!!! TO BREATHE !!!!!!!!!! #AN ULTRA 4K HQ MAN LIVING IN THIS LQ WORLD #ACTING LIKE THE COLLEGE HEARTTHROB BOY NEXT DOOR BOYFRIEND BY DAY AND THEN SOME SEX GOD BEAST BY NIGHT #HIS DUALITY IS FUCKING SCARY BUT U KNOW WHAT I AM SO FAR UP HIS ASS #I JUST ALLOW IT AND JUST LET HIM WALTZ IN HERE AND ANNIHILATE M E #jungkook #jeon jungkook

[husbandohunter]

Mermaids exist in stardew, yes? So imagine a mermaid farmer for Zhongli, Kaeya and Diluc it could be in Yandere setting or not. I just wanna know their reaction when they found out and how it’ll effect their relationship. Will it brew angst, love, or both

Part of your world [Genshin x Mermaid!Reader]{Stardew Impact series}

Synopsis: You came from the sea and he takes you through a journey of what it was like to live on land despite your differences.

Genre: Fluff

Characters: Diluc, Kaeya, Childe, Zhongli

"I threw in Childe because I had an idea for him xD It's fluff month so everything is going to be happy from now on >.>"

=============================

{Diluc}

It was a hot summer day when Diluc first found you lying unconscious ashore. You had just swam far and wide from the ocean world, the climate deemed unideal for your case. With no one else around, he took the initiative to help you out of your situation.

He shortly found out by the slight appearances of scales gracing your legs that you were neither a human or someone coming from the town nearby. As legendary as mermaids are, Diluc wanted nothing to do with you. His beginning plan was to find your relatives and send you out of his house (Additional work isn’t welcomed when he has so much already). However, you latched onto him pretty quickly since he was the one who saved you.

Here stands a human, a creature that you always wanted to interact with, in your perspective he may look a little stern but he must have plenty of knowledge to offer based on all the antiques he owns.

The only problem was that you two had no way to communicate. Different worlds meant different languages. Whenever Diluc told you that you couldn’t stay, all you did was tilt your head and whenever you tried expressing what you wanted to say, well, normally bubbles would come out of your mouth since they were an indication for your words.

He gave up on trying to kick you out and simply allowed you to take residence as long as you stayed out of his workaholic life. You would tend to his farm while he was absent on other matters and feeding animals in the barn (a lot to do but a win-win situation now that you were able to discover what it was like to live on land at the same time). Though you were also a handful, most of the time Diluc had to excuse himself from his desk when you thought the rake was some sort of hair brush and he forbade you from using the bulldozer. Quite honestly you caused him a lot of stress. He spent most of his hours teaching you and before he knew, it was already a habit of his.

The only words you knew were three words. If you wanted to eat you would say ‘fish’. If you were thirsty, you would say ‘water’. If it was anything else, you would say ‘Diluc.’

He allows you to take long baths since he knows how hydrated mermaids must stay at all times. Orders a pool to be built in his front yard (at least this way helps him save his costly electricity bills). Diluc also borrows books from the library museum for you to read, anything that you would find interesting, (mostly they were about alphabets and picture-based stories (it felt like he was raising a child).)

Easily gets worried when you step into town with him, he keeps a watchful eye in case you collapse and extra bottles when you need a drink. Most of the time, he had to keep an eye on you since you had the natural instinct to waltz into whatever interested you, such as dancing in annual festivities (which you dragged him along of course). It was how he grew attached to your presence because you truly knew how to appreciate the world around you when he himself was too busy to do so.

Two worlds merged and he was learning how to live in yours too, how you perceive things. Building sandcastles, collecting seashells, listening to the echoes resounding within them. Activities he thought were unnecessary suddenly gained the meaning he had lost long ago. Diluc grew too fast at maximum speed, trying to get as many things done as he could, until he was pulled back by the emotional waves of your kindness and compassion, onto the shore he failed to live on. How ironic reality can be.

{Childe}

Everyone knew how much Childe loved to fish. He sets out at sea every evening to capture a batch of flounders, hopefully stumbling upon a legendary one.

In a way, he did. Just not what he expected. What he pulled out of the waters seemed to be a human-sized fish sitting upon the other residues caught in between. ‘A mermaid…?’ he thought, still digesting the fact in front of him. (No wonder the net felt so heavy).

At the same time he wanted to take you with and sell you for a good price but knew how mad Tonia would get when she found out. So he lets you go free. The thing is, you swam behind his boat and followed him back to land. This was how your relationship with Childe started, to this day he continues to jest upon that memory.

Tonia took most of the responsibility to coach you about human life. One of them was table etiquette, before you ate with only your hands which caused a mess. Childe would laugh hysterically at it until Tonia reminded him, “This is also what happens when you use chopsticks, big brother.”

Teucer invites you to basically anything since you have so much patience. Childe shortly realizes that he was soon going to be replaced as the eldest caretaker and you couldn’t even talk at that time. So it was only fair that he included himself in the circle while interacting with your way of communicating: sign language (Surprisingly, he was naturally good at it. Though his movements are rather exaggerated and...ungraceful).

You were nice enough to accompany him to his fishing tasks and soon enough became your daily activities. Childe takes the lead as you follow him from the side, sometimes he lets go of the steering wheel and allows you to push the boat instead (he kept a note to himself that in your mermaid mode, your strength multiplied by a large number). Other times he felt a little risky and decided to jump in the ocean with you for a swimming session. It worried you immensely but your anxiety subsided when you saw how much fun he was having and for the rest of the time, you both explored what the ocean had to offer.

Childe used to be a fish-cook enthusiast. Not anymore (since that day you cried when glancing at the flounder dish he placed on the table). He had to stick to seaweed or any other plant-based meals with a little bit of meat but too much would cause your stomach to churn. Since his siblings complained at the sudden change, he had to make a separate meal plan for them. With a mermaid in the house was certainly high-maintenance indeed.

Cuddling with you in front of the cracking fire blazing under the chimney was one of the calmest moments indulged himself in. He often chooses the life where the waves crash constantly, anticipating a thrilling storm that comes ahead. But you were just a lull at the sea, the mediator he needed in times where his siblings needed a mother-figure. Sometimes he fears that you would leave him and return to where your true family lives but he was grateful that you chose him above all else. He was grateful that by chance, he captured you at sea. One thing he loved about life was the unpredictability the future brings, including the blessings. Even if you were a creature from far away, in your presence he felt like he was truly at home.

{Kaeya}

When the tides rose above his head, Kaeya was sure that he was done for. The surfboard he recently stood upon slips off beneath his feet and he falls into the ocean’s merciless waves. No oxygen, no time to catch his breath amidst the impact, his eyes were slowly closing and the last thing he saw was the sun’s light beyond the heavy surface, along with the murky visual of someone swimming in front of it.

Although he almost drowned, the idea of being saved by a pretty mermaid makes up for the fact (He has a natural tendency to flirt at anything eye-catching even if you were an outlandish being). You on the other hand was confused by his advances as you couldn’t understand a word he was saying, hence you swam away.

Those beginning days when you chose to explore the land, Kaeya remembers how much trouble you had with walking using your new legs. He had to hold both your hands while leading you forward, he found it rather cute when you tighten your grip the moment you felt that he was going to let go (he was only bluffing of course but you still hissed at him). Still, Kaeya ensures that you don’t fall to the ground, he catches you in time when you collapse while laughing, “You’re doing great sweetheart.”

In return you teach him how to read the ocean’s movements so that he won’t drown again. Kaeya spends more time around the beach since he knows that the water bodies are where you were most comfortable with. He tells you that you always smell like saltwater whenever he buries his face in your hair, perhaps that was how he grew attached to the ocean as well.

In summer seasons there were several days where you had to sleep in his bathtub because the air was so dry. As a mermaid, he had to tolerate many of your unique quirks, in this case he had to deal with showering in cold water since you took up all the electricity. Another case was your wine tolerance, no one could challenge you to a drinking contest when your body could sustain large amounts of liquids. Kaeya sometimes jokes if you could turn him into a merman like those in fairytale books so he can have the same experience. You take it as a joke while he was also being half-serious.

When you have to take a temporary trip home, Kaeya visits the dock every evening and waits for you to come back, trying to see any signs of your colourful tail. He glances at the ocean he grew to love, knowing where he stood is as far as he could go and anywhere beyond the boundary was out of his reach. So many people left him in his life and even though he knew you wouldn’t do the same, he still worries. Uncertain if you would abandon him too.

Your existence became the center of his life the moment you chose to walk upon land with him. Side by side, through small hurdles the seashore and hurdles as big as the wave that almost killed him the day he met you, Kaeya keeps them all as if they were the most precious treasure a pirate could find. It didn’t matter if you were different from everyone else because despite your tail, all he could see was you.

{Zhongli}

While Zhongli strolls along the sandy beach, he follows the alluring sound of your singing voice. You sat upon the rock while humming along what seems to be an old folk tune, similar to what Guizhong once sang. The man folds his arms and closes his eyes. Many years have passed since he last heard something like this, “Your voice, it’s very lovely.”

He was a geologist who worked by the museum, collecting different types of rocks and seashells that would wash up shore. You became very familiar with his daily routine that before he pays a visit to the beach again, a pile of interesting rocks would be waiting for him by the docks. It was a gift. And Zhongli would bring snacks like seaweed soup as an accommodation for your kindness.

Unlike Kaeya, when you couldn’t walk because your legs were too weak to be used, Zhongli helps you with every step along the way even if the trip was a slow one. He even offered to have you carried when he saw you were having too much trouble but you insisted on trying. The whole trip that usually took ten minutes was a three hour walk.

Even though he knew many things, your language was not one of them. However he was willing to learn. Both of you have study sessions regarding each other’s culture. For you it’s the way humans drink with cups because of Zhongli being a tea fanatic himself, he even showed you how to hold a tea cup properly. You taught him how to swim since he had been so occupied on land that swimming never crossed his mind. Thankfully he was naturally good at it due to his tall stature (albeit a little scared when diving into an environment unknown and different to him).

Zhongli loves the way you sing and he would ask every time he wanted to read a book. Either under the tree on a warm spring day or on the couch when it was storming outside. Although he intended to get some reading done, Zhongli can’t help but fall asleep. You didn’t want to wake him up (and you could carry him if you wanted to thanks to your mega-mermaid strength) so by morning, you’d find yourselves in the same spot and your lap feeling numb.

Earth and sea were separated for a reason so that the creatures may stay upon the place where they belong. That wasn’t enough to separate you from him though. Zhongli would travel to the sea to see you and you mustered the courage to walk upon the hard surface of land. The two were only parts of the world but together they are part of the world, connected to form a whole new life.

#genshin impact #diluc x reader #kaeya x reader #childe x reader #zhongli x reader #diluc #kaeya #childe #zhongli #diluc ragnvindr #kaeya alberich #genshin #genshin impact kaeya #genshin impact diluc #genshin impact zhongli #genshin impact childe #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact scenarios #stardew valley #genshin impact headcanons #nya writes

[bottoms-movie]

SAMBUCKY FIC RECS PT. 2

The first part did really really so I decided to make a second part of sambucky fic recs. Just as the last one: the fics are split into three categories: based on tfatws, canon divergence, and au. CHECK OUT PART ONE HERE All fics are completed and all are on AO3. 

BASED ON TFATWS

The Truths Beneath Our Ribs | Mature | 6,742 words

5 times Bucky wears Sam's things +1 time Sam wears something of Bucky's

anything you can do, i’ll do you better | Explicit | 5,526 words

Steve is going to kill them if they don't learn to get along, but did they have to take it so far?

making amends | Explicit | 8,645 words

“Not Cap yet,” Sam said. He looked a little ruefully at his hands, which were covered in nicks and cuts. He could already feel his palms bruising from that last shield catch, but at least nothing was broken this time.

“I respect that,” Bucky said slowly. Sam raised an eyebrow, but didn’t respond. Bucky flexed and unflexed the vibranium fingers of his left hand, a nervous habit that Sam had clocked ages ago. “And you’re right.”

“Thanks, I know.” Sam waited a beat. “About what?”

Muscle Memory | 3 parts | Explicit | 13,156 words part 1: Muscle Memory | Teen | 1,766 words

Barnes sighs, and it’s a deep, soul-weary thing. “Maybe no one ever told you this, but I’m telling you right now. You don’t have any obligation to care about me because Steve did. You don’t have to pretend.”

Sam blinks, taken aback. He has to think, really think, about what he says next, because it’s - it’s either going to build or break something.

You’re My World | Explicit | 6,585 words

“I… oh, I get it now.” Sam tilted his head, perceptive as ever, goddammit. “All this flirting with my sister, that was just to get my attention, wasn’t it? I know it was. Say it.”

“That wasn’t—” Bucky croaked, but Sam wasn’t having it.

He huffed a low laugh, and bulldozed right through Bucky’s feeble pretense. “You like it when I pin you against the wall? Take away all that power you have, that strength that your arm gives you? Make you feel small, maybe?”

Call Me By Your (Pet) Name | Teen | 6,928 words

“You got a list of the nicknames available to us lesser mortals?” Sam continued, staring straight ahead at the seat in front of him. “The ‘you’re not Steve Rogers, so don’t even think about it’ collection?”

“Yeah, sure, there’s a list,” Bucky replied, pausing long enough to draw a pointed look from Sam. “Bucky,” he finished, gesturing broadly with his arm to convey the obviousness of the answer.

5 times Sam and Bucky used pet names as a joke + 1 time they used them in earnest

That’s not very gunkle of you | 2 parts | 4,325 words part 1: Bestie Vibes Only | Teen | 1,822 words

“What’s buzzin’ cousin?” Says Bucky, sitting down next to Sam on the docks.

That’s the moment that Sam realizes he needs to change tactics, no more subtly looking up definitions for his weird old person slang, it’s time to fight fire with fire.

“Not much bro, this view is highkey just hitting different TBH” he says, casually looking out at the water.

There’s a beat of silence and then,

“That’s swell doll, I just ate some four-o cackle jelly with side arms, and I’m looking for some kicks, you dig?

Oh, this means war.

misunderstandings | Not Rated | 3,167 words

Sam thinks Sarah and Bucky had a date, and he's Not Okay

you walked into my life to offer me a better view | Teen | 2,534 words

He was standing twenty feet away at the edge of the docks, chatting with Sarah, and Sam couldn't take his eyes away. Bucky's smile was warm, wide, and when he tipped his head back and laughed, his nose scrunching up and eyes crinkling at the corners, Sam could feel it vibrate straight to his heart.

falling, falling, flying | Teen | 2,778 words

Bucky had kissed him.

And Sam had pulled away, because that beautiful golden sunset made Bucky’s hair gleam with the faintest touch of blond, that rare summer breeze hissed like a dying missile past Sam’s ears, the kiss was so familiar, too familiar, and Sam was falling, falling—

(“Let yourself be happy, Sam. Please.”)

lonely boy, you are my world (and i could be anything you need) | Teen | 5,747 words

It all starts with Sam, a shelter, and this sweet kitten that reminded him far too much of a certain century-old, grouchy super soldier.

too dangerous to fall | Explicit | 3,466 words

Bucky Barnes is a one-armed menace. He has murder eyes and no care for basic safety protocols. His jokes are terrible and his bad moods are worse. He’s a godawful roommate who leaves his wet towels on the floor and his combat knives in the linen cabinet. Sam can’t stand the sight of him.

What happens in Louisiana | General | 3,478 words

But just then, in the engine room of the Wilson family boat, away from prying eyes, it felt like something they both needed. The closeness. The warmth.

Steve would laugh at them. Two grown men not being able to get it together. He would roll his eyes at Buck, nudge him with his elbow and tell him “you’re sweet on Sam Wilson so make a move already, punk.”

keep the ashes from my heart (and walk away) | Explicit | 4,412 words

“Jamie asked me out on a date,” Sam says. Bucky swallows. “Took him long enough,” he says, keeping his tone light. He bumps their shoulders together for good measure. “You should go for it.” “You really think so?” Sam asks, looking at him. “Yeah, man,” Bucky says. He fixes his gaze on Torres, high up in the sky, sunlight glinting off his wings. It hurts Bucky’s eyes. He blinks, rapidly. “You should be with somebody who can make you happy.”

(In which Sam starts dating someone who is not Bucky, and Bucky pines, gets seriously injured, and proves himself wrong.)

Hey Samuel | Teen | 3,223 words

"Bucky."

"Yeah?" He looked up eyes wide. Did he say something out loud?

"We're walking the wrong way."

"Oh." Right. Um. "Let's get ice cream."

"I don't know about you, man, but if I eat ice cream in this weather I will get sick."

Bucky was at a loss for words. What now?

OR Ride along Bucky's journey of figuring out when exactly did he fall for Sam Wilson.

Anyday, everyday | General | 6,735 words

He moved his head and locked eyes with Sam. "D'you- can you.. help me cut my hair?" He asked. He forced himself to look away, feeling embarrassed for asking him to come all this way just to give him a haircut.

His stomach dropped when he felt Sam let go of his hand to stand up. Of course he was about to leave. Who wouldn't want to leave Bucky?

"C'mon, Buck. Let me cut your hair." Bucky's eyes snapped up to Sam's. He had a small smile on his face and his hand was reaching out, waiting for Bucky to take it.

Or; the five times Bucky fell more and more in love with Sam, and the one time he finally got the guts to tell him.

If You’ll Have Me | Teen | 4,779 words

Sam casually shrugged, although there was an intent look in his eyes, "Yeah, well it's getting late and I didn't feel like flying anymore so I was wondering if your old man self is okay with-"

"You can stay here." Bucky quickly finished for him.

I like Bucky, Sam I am | Not Rated | 2,653 words

"I would kiss you on the boat. Or in Wakanda by your goats."

Static in the Dark | Teen | 4,989 words

So prompt idea, some bad guy follows Bucky to the docks for revenge (over whatever you can decide) and Sarah gets to see how protective Bucky really is over Sam when he gets in the line of fire

CANON DIVERGENCE

A Different Kind of Problem | Explicit | 7,616 words

“Do you know what it feels like to be insatiable?”

Two months ago, an interrogation gone wrong left Sam with Bucky’s explicit words seared into his brain and body.

Now, Bucky is living in the Avengers Compound, making pancakes and wearing Steve’s huge sweatshirts, fluffy haired and a little shy, seemingly completely content to be on house arrest — and Sam has never been more confused. Whatever Steve thinks, Sam doesn’t have a problem with Bucky. This domesticity is just so at odds with the feral sexuality Bucky had used to rattle Sam during his interrogation. Where did that side of Bucky go? And why can’t Sam stop thinking about finding it? Maybe Sam does have a problem with Bucky… it’s just not the problem Steve thinks it is.

Bucky’s Choice | Not Rated | 4,753 words

When Bucky enters Westview to try to help Wanda Maximoff, he is confronted with something he never expected- Steve Rogers, back from the dead and ready to start a life with Bucky in Westview. It's everything that Bucky ever wanted, everything that Steve abandoned when he went back in time to live his life with Peggy Carter. But Bucky and Sam have been involved for months, and Sam is waiting for Bucky outside of the Hex. Bucky has to make a choice- the life he always wanted with Steve, or a new start with Sam?

tonight i’ll need you to stay | General | 2,227 words

For once, Bucky wants to stop leaving when things are finally looking up. And he wants people to stay with him, too.

(or, 3 times bucky needed an excuse to stay with sam, and the one time he didn't)

How to Win a Supersoldier in Ten Days | Explicit | 14,901 words

When they realize that all the Winter Soldier's interactions with Sam are just him trying to Awkward MurderBot Flirt (TM) with the sexy man, Steve, Tony, and Nat convince Sam to play the honeypot and bring Bucky in.

Sam's pretty sure the honeypot isn't supposed to fall in love with the target, but what can you do?

at the end of the war (what’s mine is yours) | Mature | 4,290 words

They don't talk about it: that's how it works.

warm blood (feels good, i can’t control it anymore) | Explicit | 4,492 words

Sam's just chilling watching TV one evening when Bucky comes in and stares at him silently for a minute or two before sitting down on the couch. He's pretty close to Sam.

Okay, he's really close to Sam. Like, Sam would be using the word 'cuddling' if it wasn't so bizarre.

"What," he says, carefully not looking at Bucky, and Bucky huffs a sigh.

"Steve's not here," he says as if it's obvious. "Don't make it weird. Just- shut up."

Caught With Their Pants Down | Explicit | 3,539 words

“Sam, this guy is not coming, the intel was false,” Bucky replied. “I get this whole ticking boxes and what not, but Rogers got it wrong, and for the love of God I need a fucking toilet.”

“You need to learn to plan your water intake better, is what you need. You’re a damn fool and I don’t know why I put up with you.”

“Because you love me,” Bucky replied, and Sam could hear the smile in his voice.

“In your damn dreams, Barnes.”

They’d been fucking for about six months, but Sam didn’t want Bucky to go getting a big head about it.

AU

sharp teeth, soft heart | 3 parts | 17,866 words part 1: you touch me within and so i (know i could be human once again) | Explicit | 12,444 words 

It’s inevitable, the way it goes. He’s my friend, Steve says, and he is, he is, he must be. Sam’s best friend is Steve, and Steve’s best friend is a werewolf, that’s just how Sam’s life works now.

But once he realizes he’s attracted to Bucky and Bucky can tell, everything becomes, like, a thousand percent more difficult to negotiate. Sam’s just trying to live his life, that’s all, and he keeps getting confronted by Bucky Barnes in a soft flannel shirt, sleeves rolled up, hair all soft and shiny. Bucky glances over at him and smirks, and this is really very embarrassing, how Sam can’t hide his attraction even if he keeps a totally straight face.

I’m so into you I can barely breathe | Explicit | 6,515 words

Sam Wilson had a long day dealing with morons, so he decided to finally go to the famous club in town. There he meets someone who just might get him back in a good mood. And then some.

twelve ounce steak (boxers in briefs) | Explicit | 3,753 words

Sam has pretty lips. Bucky seems to think so, too.

caught it bad (i’ll be on the way) | Mature | 4,830 words

Sam constantly gets roped into doing dumb things with Steve, but this time, it works out perfectly for him.

meet me in the a.m. | Teen | 3,147 words

Steve accidently starts a fire and Bucky's tired. When unbelievably hot firefighter Sam saves the day, though, he can't really be that mad.

i wanna savour, save it for later | Not Rated | 6,419 words

"It's his damn ratings, man," Sam says. "It's weird 'cause when you read the reviews, he seems to like our food and all. Nothing but praise for days. And then you get to the rating, and it's always the same. Three goddamn stars."

Bucky tips his beer bottle from side to side, lips pursing slightly. "I see. And that's… a bad thing?"

"We are not a three-star joint," Sam says flatly.

Or, the one where food truck owner Sam gets caught up in his quest to unmask an anonymous food blogger. Falling for one of his regulars was never on the menu.

we were a fire with no smoke | Explicit | 15,295 words

Sam can’t help but roll his eyes. Take the boys out of New York but they’re still Brooklyn Catholics, that’s clear enough. Bucky catches the gesture, smirks hard enough Sam can see his eye teeth. It should be dangerous but he’s beautiful, pale and charming and recklessly easy.

“You wanna come in?” Sam asks, ignoring the noise Steve makes, and Bucky’s smile gets wider.

“Yeah,” he says. Steps up close to Sam. “I do.”

my house of stone, your ivy grows | Teen | 9,042 words

When Sam Wilson inherits the manor of the old man he once took care of, it feels like his luck is finally looking up. It's an opportunity for a fresh start, something he's in desperate need of. When he arrives, however, it becomes clear that an easy transition into estate living is not exactly a possibility. The house is run-down, nothing like Sam remembers it, and the groundskeeper — who Sam apparently has to share the house with, wants nothing to do with him.

You Smiled Because You Knew | Teen | 3,754 words

"You've got the wrong address," the man who'd answered growled. He had long, scraggly hair that had mostly escaped his attempts to pull it away from his face. He had nice eyes, and wouldn't have been unattractive, especially with a shave, except for the scowl. "Nobody here wants or needs your . . . services."

It was apparent by the tone the man did not appreciate Sam's hard work.

Well, that was tough shit.

#marvel #sam wilson #bucky barnes #sambucky #tfatws #sambucky fanfiction #sambucky fic rec #fic recs #usermarcy #usersof #usersmile #usersamanne #sambucky fanfic #tusersammy #tusernini #my fic recs

[jeonsjiddies]

Headlights | pjm (m)

Summary- Jimin is a fuckboi, rumor has it his tongue can make you see stars. Everyone assumes he’s this way because he just wants to have fun. No one dares look deeper, no one sees the haunted look in his eyes, the emptiness and pain that reside in their deep brown depths. Until you.

🎶 Headlights by The Classic Crime - “Please don’t face the headlights of oncoming cars alone.” 🎶

Word Count- 14.7k 🥴

Pairing- Jimin x reader

Genre- smut

Warnings- oral (female recieving), overstimulation, multiple orgasms, slightly rough sex, nipple piercing? is that warning?, some depression-like symptoms/thoughts, a little self destructive behavior? Kind of.

a/n: Part of the Tatted Bangtan Series! This is the longest fic I have ever written and it is my baby. I hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please let me know what you think!  💕 

Walking up to the frat house was intimidating, and you slowed your stride enough for Hana to reach back and yank you with her into the party. You could feel the bass of the music rattling your bones and couldn’t hear Hana as she shouted over the music to you. 

“I can’t believe you made me do this!” you hissed, twisting your body around just in time to narrowly miss a drunk football player bulldozing his way through the crowd. 

“What?” she shouted back. 

You simply rolled your eyes and shook your head, gripping her hand tightly and following her through the overcrowded living room to the barely quieter kitchen. You took the drink she handed you and nursed it slowly, since you liked a good buzz but still wanted a clear head. 

You felt his gaze before you saw him; you could feel the shivers along the back of your neck. 

You turned to seek out the cause, methodically searching the crowd. Your eyes met the most beautiful pair of brown ones you’d ever seen, the strobe lights from above causing them to almost glow brighter-  but that was the only light in his gaze. His eyes looked… sad. Empty. 

It seemed like everything else turned blurry, and you could only focus on him in perfect clarity, every feature defined and prominent; every move he made, your eyes followed. Everything else faded away, and you only saw him. Him and his beautiful eyes, full of longing and something you couldn’t quite place.

You couldn’t help but furrow your brow in concern. Your face showed your every emotion like an open book, and you opened your mouth to ask Hana who was staring at you before she squealed, gripping your arm.

“Park Jimin is totally checking you out!” she giggled, tugging on your sleeve excitedly.

“Park Jimin?” you questioned rhetorically.

“He’s famous on campus. He’s hot, rich, and a total freak in the sheets. Rumor has it his tongue can make you see stars. Every girl on campus is dying for a night with him.” she chattered.

“Oh geez.” You rolled your eyes.

“Seriously. The saying is: once you Jimin, you can’t Jim-out. He’s so good in bed, he’s had to get like three restraining orders against girls who can’t let go. They say once you sleep with him no one else will do.” she continued, waving her hands in the air dramatically.

“I’ll take your word for it.” you giggled, glancing over towards Jimin once again.

He was absolutely gorgeous, with perfectly styled light brown hair, soft, plump looking lips, a jawline that could cut someone. His white t-shirt showed off tattoos that danced down his arms, covering the delicate ivory skin beneath. His thighs alone deserved their own wing in an art gallery, beautifully encased in skin tight ripped jeans. You caught yourself staring, clearing your throat and averting your gaze, but something kept drawing you back to him.

He was surrounded by girls, all leaning forward to give him the best view of their cleavage, all doing their best to seduce him, but he looked bored. Lonely. Lost. He sighed and his eyes trailed back to you. He watched you for a moment, noting how you flushed and turned away looking flustered. A smirk played on his lips and he shoved himself off the wall, making his way over to you.

“Shit! He’s coming over here!” Hana whisper-shouted.

You braced yourself, waiting for him to call you out for staring, or yell at you. Your body seemed to be vibrating with nerves because you could feel him getting closer, like your body had a radar that searched him out. Warm breath ghosted over the back of your neck, right under your ear. You shivered.

“Hello, there princess.” he purred.

You spun around, startled, and came face-to-face with Jimin.

He was even more gorgeous up close. He smelled of alcohol and something minty. You couldn’t help basking in the lovely scent that filled your senses for a moment, before leveling your gaze to his. His body wasn’t even two inches from yours. If you leaned up on your toes, you’d be kissing him. You took a step behind you, your back hitting the island in the kitchen.

“Hello,” you greeted in return, willing the heat in your cheeks to look like it was from the humidity in the room and not Jimin’s proximity to you.

“I haven’t seen you around before, are you a Freshman?” he inquired, sending his charming smile your way and making your knees want to buckle.

“No, I just normally don’t come to parties,” you explained, tilting your head towards Hana. “Hana made me.”

“Why not?” he wondered aloud.

“Just… not my scene.” you shrugged. 

Jimin watched your face, amusement apparent on his features. He seemed to be contemplating something. Apparently coming to his decision, his smile came back to grace his gorgeous face, but it didn’t reach his eyes, a detail you couldn’t miss even if you’d wanted to.

“Sounds like you need to have a little fun,” he smirked, stepping closer to you, his fingertips trailing along your hips and his lips grazing the shell of your ear as he whispered his next sentence, “I could help you with that. My room is upstairs.”

“I… I, uh… no… no thank you,” you sputtered, placing your hand on his (deliciously firm) chest and gently urging him backwards to put space between your erratically beating heart and his warm, enticing body.

“What?” Jimin asked, genuinely confused.

“I’m not that kind of girl.” you said softly, trying to cushion the blow to his ego.

“You really don’t want to fuck me?” he asked, bewildered.

“Um… no thank you.” You coughed awkwardly.

Jimin stared at you for a moment, reading you. His eyes searched yours, looking for something. You didn’t know what, or if he found it, but when he looked away, he shrugged.

“Your loss.” he turned to the sound of someone calling his name and left you standing there, heart pounding out of your chest and legs weak.

You watched him walk away, plastering on that signature flirty smile that fooled everyone around him. You watched his animated dancing, life of the party, putting on a show. You watched his eyes search the crowd, like his soul was longing to find something, but you didn’t know what.

                                                      -♡-

A few weeks had gone by since your encounter with Jimin, and somehow he was everywhere. You saw him on your way to class, laughing with his friends by the fountain. You saw him at the coffee shop, exiting the building as you were about to enter. You saw him in the crowded hallways of your university, heard his infectious laugh bubbling from his chest and dancing through the air. 

Even when Jimin wasn’t in your direct line of vision, even when you couldn’t hear the way his melodic voice carried through the air, he was everywhere. Every night since meeting him, you dreamt of sad, empty brown eyes attached to the most gorgeous man you’d ever seen. Every other thought that flitted through your mind was about him. What was Jimin up to? Does he look happier today? Was it just that night? Where was he now?

Sitting in the lecture hall next to Hana, you couldn’t pay attention to what the professor was attempting to teach you, a heavy sigh falling from your lips as you doodled a familiar pair of plusher ones. Hana nudged your shoulder.

“What’s up with you lately? You’re like, lost in space or something.” she accused.

“Sorry, just got a lot on my mind,” you sighed, playing with the edges of your notebook distractedly.

“Wanna talk about it?” she wondered.

“How much do you know about Park Jimin?” you asked almost instantly, causing Hana to jump a bit.

“Oh honey…” she sighed, shaking her head, “Don’t go there. Park Jimin is a good fuck if you’re looking to let loose, but I wouldn’t get too invested. Fucking is about all he’s good at. He doesn’t care about anyone but himself.” 

“Do you really think he’s not good for anything but that? I mean, he’s human.” you defended.

“That’s not what I meant, I just know how you are. Don't go crushing on him, he’ll break your heart Y/N. Park Jimin doesn’t do emotions. He does meaningless sex.” she explained.

“I guess…” you trailed off, avoiding her gaze.

“Seriously. Don’t go looking for trouble.” she warned.

“I won’t.” you promised.

“Good. Now, there’s a party this weekend. Are you coming?” she grinned.

A classmate in front of you coughed obnoxiously sending you a glare. You shot them an apologetic smile but lowered your voice. Hana didn’t lower her volume at all though.

“Maybe. I don’t know.” you shrugged.

“Come onnnn. Live a little!” she encouraged.

“If you two ladies have something to share with the class, I’d be more than happy to give you the podium. Otherwise, I’d appreciate it if you’d wait until after class to discuss whatever is so important,” the professor hummed, shooting a glare in your direction.

Immediately silencing yourself, you looked down at your notebook, where the drawing of Jimin’s plush lips stared at you. You stared back, recalling the last time you’d seen him, and how your heart had pounded in your chest violently enough that you thought it was going to come out. 

You decided you needed to see him again, which is how you found yourself completely out of place once again at another frat party. Drunk and stoned college kids stumbled around, grinded on each other, made out in corners, and caused all kinds of trouble all around you as you tried to be inconspicuous in your search for Jimin.

“Do you want a drink?”  you asked Hana and she nodded, so you ventured into the kitchen to retrieve something for the two of you. 

Once you returned, you couldn’t find her anywhere. She had a tendency of wandering off with the first hot guy she set her sights on, but you decided to look for her anyway. You wove between bodies, checking around corners and searching all the obvious places. When you came up empty handed you ventured out the back door, only to notice none other than Park Jimin sitting on the porch swing alone, smoking.

Previous task abandoned, you walked up to him and sat beside him; his eyes lazily trailed up and down your figure as he assessed you, his plump lips turning up into a smirk.

“Didn’t think I’d see you again. Change your mind about my offer?” he smiled seductively.

“No.” you shrugged, offering him the extra cup in your hand, which he took while watching you carefully.

“Seriously? Am I not your type or something? You think I’m ugly?” he wondered, feigning distress.

“That’s not it at all!” you gasped out with a little too much conviction.

“So you find me attractive?” he verified, scooting closer.

“Well, yes,” you admitted, cheeks blazing while you avoided his intense gaze.

“So you do want to fuck me.” He grinned.

“No,” you shook your head.

“Why?” he questioned, letting his fingertips dance along the edge of your shorts.

“Like I said. I’m not that kind of girl. I think sex should be meaningful,” you shrugged, though your body betrayed you with the goosebumps rising at his touch.

“Ah, so you’re one of those hopeless romantics,” he laughed.

“I wouldn’t go that far,” you giggled. “I’m not waiting for a knight in shining armour. I just want it to mean something.”

Jimin focused his gaze on your face, watching you carefully as you fiddled with a stray thread on your blouse. He knew your body reacted to him, he could see the way you shivered, feel the goosebumps on your skin. He didn’t understand why you weren’t jumping at the opportunity to fall into bed with him like everyone else. You were an enigma to him. 

You finally met his gaze, curiosity getting the better of you. You had to know if his eyes still held the same look as before, or if it was a one-time thing. You could still see the loneliness, masked by his overconfident demeanor. 

“What’s your major?” you asked, changing the subject out of the blue.

“What? Oh, um… dance, actually.” he said, averting his gaze.

“How long have you been dancing?” you wondered.

“Since I was little. Why are you asking this?” he narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

“Just wondering. I don’t know anything about you,” you easily replied.

“What’s yours?” he countered.

“Creative writing.” 

“That’s cool.” he sent you a tentative smile.

“Thanks. So is dancing. I can’t dance to save my life,” you giggled.

“I’m sure you’re not that bad,” he argued, a smile playing on his lips.

“Oh, you haven’t seen bad,” you laughed.

After taking a moment to wonder why you were even outside talking to him and what you could possibly want from him, he pushed his suspicion aside..Jimin rolled his eyes with a smile and stood up, extending his hand out to you. You sent him a questioning look and he just shook his hand until you grabbed it, and he pulled you to your feet. He reached down into his pocket and pulled out his phone, playing a song you hadn’t heard before, but enjoyed nonetheless. It was slow and simple, but still pretty upbeat.

“We’ll try something simple so I can see where you’re at, ok?” Jimin grinned at you, spacing his feet apart and watching your face.

“You’re going to make me dance?” you gasped.

“I’m going to teach you some easy moves. Everyone should know at least one dance move,” he laughed.

“If you watch me fall on my face I can never look you in the eye again,” you grumbled.

“Oh hush. Okay, start with your feet shoulder width apart for balance.” he instructed.

You mimicked his stature, placing your feet shoulder width apart and following his movements that he did slowly so you could catch on. You could tell he was graceful and knew how to move his body, even when he was slowing down and exaggerating his movements so you could keep up. Jimin’s movements were fluid and calculated, each new step had precision but flowed into the next seamlessly. He was made to dance, you decided. And somehow, you didn’t fall under his instruction. He was patient and understanding when you’d mess up, showing you again and praising you when you got it right.

 He seemed to be having fun, his laughter filled you with giddiness and his smile seemed genuine, his eyes scrunched up into little crescent moons and his beautiful pearly teeth on display, his hands wrapped around his stomach as he leaned over in another fit of laughter. You giggled along with him, albeit at your own expense, but you loved seeing this side of Jimin, he seemed… happy, carefree. This was the way Jimin was meant to be.

When you messed up again, Jimin laughed, coming over to you and grabbing your hands, showing you how to move your body to the music by leading you with his own. Your back was pressed against his firm chest as he guided you, his hips flush against yours, causing a blush to creep up your neck. Jimin must have noticed the position he’d put you in, but it didn’t stop him. He only pressed closer, whispering in your ear.

“You’re doing so good for me, babygirl,” he purred, his lips brushing the shell of your ear. 

You shivered, attempting to turn and pull out of his hold to scold him, but you were interrupted by a loud male voice coming from inside the house.

“Yo Park where the hell have you been? We need help in beer pong! Oh-” a tall man you recognized as Hoseok froze at the sight.

Jimin cleared his throat and stepped away from you. Hana peered around Hoseok from behind him, curious to what was going on. Her eyes widened when she saw you, and she gave you a look of disappointment, knowing you hadn’t listened to her warning. You looked away, avoiding her gaze as Jimin breezed past you to follow Hoseok inside. Hana watched you for a moment before following them inside, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

                                                         -♡-

It had been a few days since your dancing lesson with Jimin, and seeing him in such a comfortable, happy state hadn’t really done much to take him off your mind, especially not after seeing his eyes glaze over and the mask slip right back on as soon as Hoseok called his name. How he’d breezed past you like you didn’t exist after what felt like a special moment shared between the two of you.

Maybe Hana was right… maybe all he wanted was sex. Your anxiety was telling you he was playing with your emotions, but you knew better. You saw something in Jimin, something no one else seemed to notice. The small amount of time you’d spent with him when he had let his guard down had given you the opportunity to see what potential he had. 

 Jimin didn’t have to be tough and closed off. He could be fun and open and sweet. He could be thoughtful and patient and encouraging. He could be silly and smart and dedicated. He was talented and hard working. You’d spent maybe an hour alone with Jimin at the party that night, and in that small frame of time, you’d seen a glimpse of the real him shine through that facade he put on for everyone else. 

You wanted to see it again.

You took’d taken a trip into the city to do some sight seeing and clear your restless mind, having been driven crazy going in circles. It had taken longer than you’d anticipated, so you’d opted to take a taxi home with the sun having gone down a while ago and the stars making their appearance. You watched the cityscape fly by, lost in your own little world. The closer you got to campus, the more you paid attention, knowing the bridge that overlooked the beautiful skyline would be coming soon. 

You watched the water below ripple gently, small waves dancing across the surface of the river underneath the bridge. It was beautiful, reflections of the city lights shining and shimmering in the water. You glanced up at the other end of the bridge and saw a figure standing there, alone. It kind of looked like…

“Sir, stop the car. Pull over please!” you begged the driver.

He shot you a curious look but pulled to the side of the road. You handed him your fare and dashed away from the car towards the figure. Once you realized he wasn’t going to jump or do anything stupid, you slowed your stride, watching him as you quietly made your way over to him. Jimin was lost in thought and didn’t notice you approaching him. He watched the waves longingly, as if he wished he were floating away in them, part of the nothingness. Like he wanted to disappear into the water and drift away into the sea.

The look in his eyes as he gazed out into the unknown was haunted, and it tore at your heart to see him look so empty. They say the eyes are the window to the soul, and if that’s true, Jimin’s soul seemed broken. You wanted to know why. He had it all. He had money, good looks, friends, girls, what could possibly be missing? Why did he look so dejected?

You gently placed your hand on his shoulder and he jumped slightly upon realizing he wasn’t alone, turning to face you. His gaze met yours in silence, he watched your face for a moment, then his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Y/N?” he asked. “What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing. I was riding by and saw you, I wanted to make sure you were okay. What are you doing up here all alone?” you wondered.

Jimin turned to face you fully now, looking down at you with a hard expression.

“Why do you care?” he asked, bunching his fists at his side. “What do you want from me Y/N? Why are you being so nice to me?”

“I don’t want anything from you, Jimin. I just want to make sure you’re okay. I want to be your friend,” you explained softly, reaching out to touch his arm, which he yanked away.

“You want to be my friend?” he laughed bitterly. “Why? So I can buy you stuff? You want my money? Here,” he took out his wallet, holding out several bills for you to take.

You were shocked, stepping back a little, but looking up to meet Jimin’s gaze. He looked resigned, angry. You looked at his outstretched hand, holding the money out to you and sighed. You reached for his hand, and he thought you’d take the bills, but you only eased his hand back down to his side.

“I don’t want your money,” you told him, trying to keep your voice from sounding as offended as you felt. “I just like spending time with you.”

“Why? What is your angle here? Just take what you want and go, like everyone else does. Everyone uses each other, I don’t know what you’re trying to get out of me, but just take it and go. Stop acting like you care about me,” he hissed.

You watched him for a moment, chest heaving as he took deep breaths, looking angry and closed off and… scared. He looked scared. He said everyone uses each other, did he really not have anyone in his life who genuinely just wanted him to be happy? 

“I do care about you, Jimin. I don’t want anything from you but friendship,” you said softly.

“Right,” he laughed, “like I believe that. No one just wants to be friends. They want something. Sex. Money. Status. Then they leave, everyone leaves eventually so why bother getting attached and pretending to care?”

“That sounds really lonely, Jimin,” you trailed off quietly.

Jimin’s expression was one of shock. He was expecting some sort of reaction out of you, anger, defiance, maybe admitting you were just after his money. He expected you to try to trick him, to yell at him, to tell him he was an asshole and you never wanted to see him again. Jimin was not expecting you to see straight through him, to see how lonely he was, how much he craved connection.

You terrified Jimin. He’d been drawn to you from when he first laid eyes on you, admittedly it was a sexual attraction at first. When you’d refused him, though, he was intrigued. He’d watched you around campus, how you never sought out to be the center of attention, how you didn’t go looking for drama or clout. Then you showed up on that porch swing at the party, looking into his eyes like you really saw him.

Jimin hadn’t felt so at ease so quickly with anyone in his life like he did with you. He felt like he could be himself, like he could let his guard down. He had fun, really enjoyed himself for the first time in what felt like forever with you. He wasn’t putting on a show. He wasn’t giving the people what he thought they wanted to see from him. He was just spending time with a beautiful girl who made him feel like he was enough.

And that was terrifying.

Jimin couldn’t afford to get attached again. He’d had his heart ripped out and stomped on so many times he’d honestly thought he didn’t have one anymore. Until he watched the way your eyes lit up when you giggled at one of his silly dance moves. Until he felt the giddiness rising in his chest when you smiled especially for him. Jimin almost couldn’t remember what it felt like to feel so carefree, and he missed it so much. He longed to be free and let go.

You made him feel like he could, and that scared Jimin shitless. He’d spent so long building up this wall to protect himself, so long wearing this mask of indifference to shield his weary and battered heart from another letdown. Another person pretending to care. Another “friend” using him to get something. Another betrayal. But you… you felt so genuine. You were light and happy and kind and you made him feel like he could breathe again. He barely knew you, and already you’d wormed your way into his heart enough to make him feel like things could be different. It scared Jimin just how badly he craved that, the connection, to feel something again.

“I… I guess,” he finally admitted, his shoulders slumping from the confession. 

He looked like he was deflating, the tension falling off his body once he finally let it out that yes, he was so lonely. He watched your reaction, embarrassed that you’d seen this side of him. He didn’t want to be vulnerable in front of anyone, didn’t want to give them the chance to use him again. But you just smiled sympathetically.  You didn’t push or pry.

Instead, you pivoted. “Are you hungry? I kind of want some ramen. Come with me to the store?” you offered.

Jimin eyed you warily, but nodded, falling in step beside you as you walked along the bridge, the only sounds you could hear were the soft rippling of the waves below and the sounds of the cars rushing past. Jimin was quiet beside you, looking like he was lost in thought. He wasn’t paying attention to where he was stepping, and tripped over a loose brick on the sidewalk.

You saw the headlights of the oncoming car nearing closer as Jimin tumbled into the road, your heart beating out of your chest in bone-chilling fear. You jumped into the street and grabbed Jimin’s hand. You jumped back and yanked him onto the sidewalk mere fractions of a second before the car zoomed past where your bodies had just been, horn blaring obnoxiously. Jimin’s body crashed into yours, sending you off balance and splaying against the sidewalk.

You groaned at his weight being flung on top of you when you crashed into the hard cement sidewalk. Jimin propped himself up on his arms, body still flush against yours as he searched your face, eyes wide.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt? What the hell were you thinking?! You could’ve been killed!” he scolded, eyes roaming over your face and arms for any injuries. 

“So could you! I couldn’t just sit back and watch you get run over!” you defended. 

“So you risked your life for someone you barely know?!” he hissed, with no real bite to his words. 

Worry and guilt were swimming in his gaze as it met yours. You softened, reaching up to caress his hair gently in an attempt to soothe him and get him to focus on you and your next words.

“Hey, we’re both fine. Everything’s okay,” you smiled.

“I’ve never met anyone like you before,” he said more to himself than you, “What even are you?”

“Still hungry,” you giggled playfully, trying to ease the tension surrounding the two of you.

Jimin rolled his eyes but finally, a smile graced his pretty lips. You both seemed to notice your positions at the same time, your cheeks lighting up and the tips of his ears turning red. He scrambled off of you, holding out a hand to pull you to your feet. You both avoided eye contact and he let out an awkward cough, scratching the back of his neck.

“Let’s go get ramen then,” he smiled shyly, motioning for you to go ahead of him.

You walked together in silence, Jimin being much more careful about where he was stepping while you made your way to the convenience store at the edge of the university. Entering and nodding to the cashier on duty, you both made your way over to the ramen. You reached out to grab a bowl, and a gasp left Jimin’s lips.

“You’re bleeding!” he grabbed your arm, examining the scrape on your elbow.

“Oh, whoops,” you shrugged. 

Jimin went to the cashier and requested the first aid kit, then guided you to a seat and gently took your arm, cleaning the cut with an antiseptic wipe. You hissed at the burn, and he apologized, leaning down to blow air on the wound. You watched in awe at the way his lips looked, plump and soft and delicious. You shivered as the cool air hit your skin, soothing the burn from the antiseptic wipe. Jimin smiled up at you.

“Better?” he asked.

Not trusting your voice, you simply nodded. He took the bandage and placed it over your wound, smoothing it out with a gentle brush of his fingers. 

“There. All better. Let's eat!” he chirped, pushing off his knees to stand.

You both picked out some ramen and drinks, using the water dispenser to add hot water to the dry noodles. Jimin reached for his wallet to pay for you both reflexively. You didn’t put yours on the counter and he looked at you in confusion.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Uhhh… waiting my turn?”

“What do you mean? It’s our turn.”

“It’s your turn. I’ll pay for mine when you’re done,” you shrugged.

Jimin looked shocked and confused, and the cashier looked impatient. You nodded towards the counter and Jimin paid, watching you curiously as you completed your transaction with a smile on your face and thanked the cashier. Jimin held the door for you and you both walked to a nearby park, sitting on the bench to eat. 

You ate and talked and joked and laughed. You both just enjoyed being in each other’s presence, able to let loose and not feel judged. You watched Jimin’s eyes begin to shine for the first time since you’d met him, and your heart swelled with joy. You’d finished eating long ago but neither of you wanted to leave, so you stood up.

“I’ve been practicing, you know.” You wiggled your eyebrows.

“Practicing?” he echoed.

“Dancing. I’ve been practicing what you showed me. Not to toot my own horn, but I’ve gotten pretty decent,” you grinned playfully.

“Show me what you’ve got,” Jimin smirked, leaning back into the bench with his hands folded behind his head, his shirt riding up and displaying his mouth-watering abs, along with the small trail of hair that dipped down underneath his waistband.

You stood with your feet shoulder width apart, just like Jimin had taught you, and started shaking your hips like you’d seen him do that night at the party, giving your best impression of his dance routine for the first minute or two. Then, you grinned at him as he opened his mouth to praise you, before you started doing the chicken dance.

Jimin’s laughter rang through the air and he started dancing with you, both of you making fools of yourselves, your only audience each other and the moon that shone brightly in the sky, illuminating Jimin’s face, highlighting his ethereal beauty. The two of you danced and laughed for a while, before falling onto the bench in a fit of giggles. 

Finally deciding it was time to go, Jimin insisted on walking you home, saying it wasn’t safe for you to be alone that late at night. You agreed, not because you weren’t capable of keeping yourself safe, but simply to stay with him for a little longer. You tossed your food containers in the trash as you left the park. His hand brushed against yours a few times as you walked, talking animatedly about anything and everything, and you figured it was just an accident soyou didn’t think too much of it.

Disappointment washed over you as you walked up to your dorm building and you sighed, scuffing the ground with your foot in an attempt to stall. Jimin made no move to leave either, both of you waiting in silence for the other to say something. Suddenly, you felt warmth surround your frame as Jimin wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into a tight embrace.

“Thank you for tonight. This is the most fun I’ve had in a really long time,” he whispered into your ear, almost like a secret he didn’t want anyone else to hear, though you were alone.

“Me too, Jimin. Thank you for coming with me, and walking me home,” you smiled, returning his hug and placing your head on his shoulder.

You weren’t sure how long hugs between stranger-friends were supposed to last, but you weren’t going to pull away first, not when you felt so warm, so safe, so comfortable. Your heart was racing but your whole body went pliant at his touch, any tension you’d been holding melting away as you melted into him.

Jimin pulled away first, leaving a chaste kiss to your cheek before turning around and walking off, shouting “goodnight Y/N!” over his shoulder as he left. You missed the way the tips of his ears turned pink, and he missed how your whole face turned red. You couldn’t wipe the smile off your face as you crawled into bed that night, your dreams filled with bright brown eyes shining in the moonlight, and a little bit of hope.

                                                        -♡-

After the night on the bridge, you and Jimin began hanging out. He’d wait for you outside the lecture hall and walk you home some days. Others, you’d show up with his favorite coffee and snack in hand before his (regrettably chosen) 8am class. Jimin was different around you, lighter. 

Because he was Jimin, people noticed. Eyes trailed after the two of you everywhere you went, whether you were together or not. Rumors spread, saying that you were using him to gain recognition, saying that he’d knocked you up and been forced to date you, saying that you’d blackmailed him or something. Neither of you paid attention to the prying eyes that seemed to dissect your every move, you were too caught up in each other.

You made Jimin feel like a better person, and Jimin made you feel safe and giddy. But there was no denying the massive crush you’d formed on the poor guy. You did your best to hide it, trying not to make him uncomfortable. You’d told him all you wanted was friendship, you weren’t about to make a liar out of yourself and get rejected, losing your new friend over something so silly as your unyielding yearning for him.

You really tried not to let your eyes linger on him for too long when he walked unaware beside you, humming the newest song he was practicing for dance class. You tried not to let your touches last longer than socially acceptable for friends, despite the way your entire body seemed to light up with electricity every time his skin met yours. You tried not to stare longingly at his lips as he told you a story about his childhood or a class he’d taken the day before.

You tried not to fall in love with him.

You tried not to fall in love with the way his eyes formed crescent moons when he smiled, his real smile. The one he used in your presence, not the one he plastered on for the rest of the world to see. You tried not to fall in love with the sound of his voice calling your name, or the way he’d mindlessly sing quietly to himself while doing mundane tasks. You tried not to fall in love with the way he’d already be looking at you when you glanced up to check on him, with the way he’d shoot you a goofy face.

You tried not to fall in love with the way he held you close, the way every hug was just a little too long, the way he’d hold open doors for you or fix your collar, or the way he seemed to be able to make you forget about the rest of the world. You tried not to fall in love with how strong he was, both physically and emotionally, how he’d let you in and trusted you. 

But Jimin was a force of nature, somehow terrifying and comforting at the same time. He showed your heart no mercy, consistently proving himself to you over and over and making you fall harder and harder. How were you not supposed to fall head over heels for Jimin? A few weeks into your friendship and you were ready to throw caution to the wind and marry the man. Or maybe you were a little dramatic, but still. You felt so deeply for him you almost couldn’t stomach it.

Jimin seemed to bounce as he walked in front of you, using his ridiculous amount of coordination to walk backwards so he could face you as he spoke. You giggled at his behavior, keeping an eye out to make sure he didn’t run into anything or anyone. He wove around the crowd gracefully, looking back every so often, but you still watched out for him. Just in case. 

“So then the professor woke the kid up by slamming a book on his desk, I kinda felt bad for him, to be honest. But it was really funny. The kid wasn’t too bothered by it, he laughed with everyone else, and apologized for falling asleep. I don’t blame him though. I nearly lost it when he went into the section on Pavlov,” Jimin recounted, rolling his eyes.

“Poor guy!” you laughed.

“I know, so embarrassing.” he cringed.

“Yo, Jimin!” came from somewhere in the crowd, and Jimin’s easygoing expression immediately morphed into a hardened one. 

You turned to see Hoseok and Hana jogging to catch up with the two of you. Ever since they’d started dating, you’d seen Hana less and less. You didn’t mind much, as your time was mostly filled with Jimin. Hana’s hair had gotten longer and she’d dyed it a light shade of pink. It suited her.

“Hey Hana, I like your new hair,” you smiled.

“Thanks, girl! I haven’t seen you in forever!” she grabbed you, pulling you into a tight hug which you returned, shooting an uncomfortable look towards Jimin.

His attention was on Hoseok though. He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes, and you didn’t like it when Jimin’s smile didn’t reach his eyes. It looked unnatural, wrong. Happiness belonged on Jimin. Hoseok was sweet, he was funny and lively and courteous, you had nothing against him. But you wished he would leave so Jimin would go back to normal. Unguarded. 

“Jimin, I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for a couple days man. I really need your help. Are you busy? The girls can grab coffee or something and we can swing by the shop?” Hoseok begged. 

“Ooh that sounds so fun! We haven’t hung out in forever! Please, Y/N?” Hana begged, pulling on your shirt sleeve.

You shot a look over to Jimin, gauging his feelings on the situation, but you couldn’t read him. His face was stoic and you couldn’t see his eyes. He shrugged, following Hoseok across the street.  Hana pulled on your arm, directing you to a nearby coffee shop and grabbing a table in the corner by the window. 

“You still like the hot chocolate here the best?” Hana asked, standing up to order. 

You moved to follow but she waved you off, placing your order for you and handing it over once it was ready.

“Thank you.” you smiled, “How much was it? I’ll venmo you.” 

“Don’t worry it was only like two bucks,” Hana shrugged. “Hobi’s been paying for everything lately, hasn’t asked me to chip in a dime! So I’ve saved up a bit.” 

“Oh wow,” you laughed.

“I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever! Do you remember when we used to come here like every day to do our homework and people watch?” Hana giggled.

“Yeah, it seems so long ago.” you agreed, grinning at the memory.

“Ugh, I still had that poofy curly hairdo and you wore those high school musical shirts all the time? When was that, like 8th grade?” she cringed.

“Freshman year of high school, I think. We met in high school.” you laughed. “Why did your mom let you leave the house like that?” 

“Girl I don’t know!” she groaned, “why did yours?” 

“I guess she wanted me to express myself,” you shrugged with a giggle.

“Express yourself right out of any chance to be popular,” Hana remarked sarcastically, throwing in a playful smirk.

“Hey, I don’t need to be popular. I just need a few good people around me,” you shrugged. 

“Hmmm… So, how’s Jimin?” she asked, glancing away and not meeting your eyes.

“He’s good. We were just on our way back to my dorm to watch a movie when we ran into you guys,” you explained.

“A little netflix and chill?” she laughed, but her eyes zeroed in on you.

“No,” you shook your head, “just a movie.”

Hana sighed, placing her coffee on the table and looked you in the eyes.

“YN, I’m worried about you. Someone like you shouldn’t be hanging out with someone like Jimin. When I invited you to that party, I just wanted you to get out more, not start messing around with someone like him.” Hana explained, attempting to keep her voice soft.

“What do you mean ‘someone like him’?” you asked harshly.

“You’ve heard what people are saying right? They’re spreading rumors about you because you’re hanging out with him. He’s bad news, YN. He only sleeps with girls to get what he wants. I know you’re a hopeless romantic but I can guarantee he doesn’t love you, no matter what he’s telling you.” she sighed.

“You can’t be serious.” you laughed incredulously. 

“YN, I’m just looking out for you. Jimin is-” she began but you stood and cut her off.

“Jimin is kind. Jimin is funny, smart, sweet and loyal. Jimin doesn’t talk shit about people behind their backs. Jimin doesn’t pretend to care just so he can cause trouble. Jimin doesn’t judge people based on rumors. You don’t know anything about him, Hana. You never cared enough to. No one has! You all think he’s some souless succubus who only uses sex to get what he wants, but you’re wrong. You don’t know him at all. Jimin is wonderful and I will hang out with him as much as I damn well want to because you know what? He makes me happy. So you and anyone else who has a problem with that can fuck off,” you seethed, slamming five dollars down on the table to pay her for your drink, not wanting to owe her anything, “Keep the change.”

You stomped away from the table, finally looking up from Hana’s speechless, shocked expression to find Jimin and Hoseok staring at you in mirroring astonishment. You froze for a split second, but in your rage, trudged forward, grabbing Jimin’s hand and pulling him towards the exit.

“Let’s go.” you grumbled, and he allowed you to pull him out of the exit and begin walking down the street, leaving Hoseok and Hana in stunned silence.

You didn’t let go of Jimin’s hand and he didn’t make a move to pull away as you walked silently to your dorm, your anger slowly going from a boiling rage to a simmer. You opened and shut the door with a little more force than necessary and flung the dvd cabinet open with a little too much emphasis. Jimin watched you curiously, letting you have your space and set up the movie before you crawled into your bed next to where he was waiting. 

You laid your head on his shoulder, needing the extra comfort of having him close after your emotional meltdown at the coffee shop. You sighed, letting the tension roll out of your body that you’d stored up from the encounter. Jimin wrapped an arm around you, giving you a gentle squeeze.

“You want to talk about it?” he asked quietly, eyes still on the opening credits of the movie.

“No,” you pouted.

“Are you sure?” he pressed, gaze shifting to you.

You sighed and sat up, turning to face him and pausing the movie.

“How much did you hear?”

“Hoseok and I walked in right about where you asked Hana what she meant by someone like me,” he explained.

“Oh,” you flushed, looking away from him. “I’m sorry you had to hear that.”

Jimin sighed, turning your shoulders so you’d face him and you gazed up into his eyes as he focused on you.

“Hey, it’s okay. I know what people think about me. I don’t care about their opinion. I care about yours, and maybe Hoseok’s. Sometimes,” he explained with a chuckle.

“I guess…” you trailed off.

“Thank you,” he spoke suddenly, softly.

“For what?” you wondered.

“For sticking up for me. For believing in me. For having my back,” he told you, his eyes swimming in an emotion you couldn’t place.

“Of course. I meant everything I said. You’re an amazing person and if people would just take a second look and get to know you, look past the wall you put up, they’d think so too.”

Jimin pulled you into his arms, encompassing you in his warmth and comfort, seeming to hold you together when you felt like you were shaking into pieces from the intensity of how strongly you felt for him. You relaxed in his hold, allowing the warmth of his body against yours to soothe your nerves.

“You’re my best friend,” he whispered into your ear, barely audible.

“You’re my best friend too,” you whispered back, hugging him just a little tighter.

Jimin smiled against your neck where he’d rested his head, and you hoped he couldn’t feel how loudly your heart was beating from feeling his lips against your skin, though he probably didn’t mean to do that. You pulled apart and snuggled into the covers to watch the movie, finally completing the task you’d set out to do since mid-afternoon.

Once the credits rolled, you were tucked into Jimin’s arms, drifting in and out of consciousness. Jimin glanced at the clock and sighed.

“I don’t want to leave but it’s getting late,” he looked down at your face.

“Nooo.. don’t go. You’re so comfy,” you whined.

“Are you calling me fat?” he huffed playfully.

“Oh hush,” you giggled, but looked up at him, biting your lip nervously.

“Can you just… stay? Just for tonight? If you want to, that is…” you looked down at your hands.

“You’re not worried someone will see me leave in the morning and start more rumors?” he wondered.

“I don’t care if you don’t,” you shrugged, meeting his eyes once more.

“Scooch over then,” he grinned and you giggled triumphantly, scooting over to one side of the bed so Jimin could slot himself between you and the wall.

He wrapped an arm around your middle, pulling you against his chest and sighed contentedly. You snuggled just a little closer, mumbling something about the chilly air in the dorm, but really you just loved being close to Jimin. Butterflies swirled in your stomach, and you listened to Jimin’s breathing begin to even out as he fell asleep. You followed not long after. Wrapped in the safety and comfort of Jimin, you swore it was the best night's sleep you’d ever had.

                                                        -♡-

The second Jimin had exited your dorm that morning, there were about 50 pictures of the incident flooding social media, rumors flying rampant about your night spent together. Every other comment was about how you’d turned into a whore or Jimin was just playing with you or you had to have something on him. You ignored them all. People could think whatever they wanted, but you knew you hadn’t done anything wrong.

On the contrary, waking up beside Jimin had felt so, so right. You’d somehow shifted in the night, both of you seeking out each other’s warmth and you’d woken up face-to-face, your noses almost touching. You’d opened your eyes to find Jimin opening his and you both smiled at each other, giggling nervously as you broke apart. 

Jimin had gone home to freshen up, seeing as your impromptu sleepover left him without a change of clothes or a toothbrush. You hadn’t heard anything from him since he left, and you were starting to wonder if he regretted staying, if he felt uncomfortable now. Your nerves were eating you up and after your fight with Hana, you didn’t really know who you could talk to about it. You sighed, flipping through a textbook while being unable to concentrate on anything you were reading.

A few hours went by and you were starting to lose your mind from the lack of communication and the anxiety it caused. You picked up your phone to distract yourself with something when a text from Jimin came through. You sighed in relief, opening the message.

Jimin [5:54pm]: The guys at the frat house say I’ve been boring lately and I’m not allowed to skip tonight’s party. Come with me?

Did he mean come with him as in… be his date? Surely not. Right? Your heart hammered in your chest. Sure, people had seen you and Jimin around together a lot, but it was another thing entirely to go to a party together. That was basically announcing that you were dating. Maybe he didn’t see it that way? Maybe he just wanted to bring his friend to the party?

You [5:59pm]: Sure. Meet you there?

Jimin [6:04pm]: Starts at 10. :)

You texted a little back and forth in the next few hours, then you got ready for the party andmade your way over to the frat house, wondering what kind of fresh hell this party would bring. Though, you couldn’t say all parties were bad. You had met Jimin at one of these. That had turned out to be the greatest thing you’d ever done.

You were filled with a sense of nostalgia walking up to the familiar front door and entering into the foyer, greeted with booming music and some cheering from the corner where someone was doing a keg upside down. You were startled by an arm wrapping around your shoulder, pulling you into a warm body.

“Y/N! Nice to see you again,” Hoseok grinned, leading you towards the kitchen.

“Hey Hoseok,” you smiled, a little confused.

“Jimin and I were about to play beer pong with Tae, we need a 4th player,” he grinned.

“Oh okay,” you smiled, walking with a little more confidence.

“Y/N!” Jimin grinned, walking over and wrapping you in a hug, “I’m glad you came. You’re on my team, ok?”

“Sounds good,” you grinned.

“Y/N, this is Taehyung, you’ve already met Hoseok. Tae, this is Y/N,” Jimin introduced.

“Nice to meet you,” Taehyung grinned a boxy smile, enthusiastically waving to you from his end of the island. “Sorry we’re about to kick your ass,” he added with an evil chuckle.

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” you giggled.

“Have you played before?” Jimin wondered.

“A few times, not at a big party like this but I’ve practiced,” you mimicked brushing off your shoulders and Jimin let out a hearty laugh.

“Alright, a seasoned pro!” Hoseok chimed in excitedly.

“Is Hana not here?” you asked quietly to Jimin.

“I haven’t seen her, no,” he shrugged.

“Did they break up?”

“I doubt it, but I don’t know.” he answered.

“Alright, ladies! Let's go!” Taehyung shouted enthusiastically.

Hoseok took the first shot, landing it perfectly in a cup on your side of the table, and Jimin took the first swig, downing the cup. Hoseok shot again, missing by a mile. Jimin laughed before tossing his ball across the table, expertly landing it in one of the opposing team’s. Hoseok pouted but drank anyway. Jimin tried again, landing another. You clapped and hooted for him. Jimin got three cups before he missed.

Taehyung got two cups, and you drank both before he grazed the edge of the third, but the ball didn’t go in. You started shooting and got two cups before someone jostled you on your third throw, causing you to miss the entire table. You shot a glare to the offending stranger, who apologized profusely. You sighed.

“Minho is clumsy but he’s sweet. Don’t be too hard on him. He might actually like it. Kinky bastard.” Jimin winked at you playfully.

You choked on your next breath, giggling at his words. Neither team scored anything for a while, too busy trash-talking each other and cracking jokes to concentrate on the game. Jimin’s full smile had yet to appear, but he did seem more relaxed in your presence, so you took it as a win. He wasn’t quite himself, putting on more of a show than usual, but you decided to let it go since he seemed like he was having a good time. Surprisingly, you were too. 

Taehyung was sweet and funny. He was easy to talk to and super charming. Hoseok was a ball of sunshine and energy, and they both seemed to accept you as part of their little group with no effort at all. You were Jimin’s friend, and therefore you were their friend by association. You wondered if these were people Jimin could be honest with, they seemed really genuine, but you knew how guarded he was so you weren’t about to bring it up. They were fun to be around, and that was enough for now.

The night raged on, and your team ended up winning beer pong. You’d both gained a pleasant buzz from the game but Taehyung and Hoseok were absolutely trashed. Jimin explained that they might’ve pregamed a little too hard before the party, so the added beers from their crushing defeat sent them over the edge into utterly intoxicated. They were currently clutching onto each other and singing a very off key rendition of a song you didn’t even recognize.

“Hey, where’s the bathroom?” you asked.

“Just down that hall,” Jimin pointed, and you smiled at him before making your way there.

You quickly did your business and washed your hands, checking your appearance in the mirror and smiling to yourself about how well the night was going. Everything was perfect and after last night with Jimin, he seemed more… into you? Less platonic. Or maybe your mind was playing tricks on you. Either way, you were hopeful that maybe Jimin felt the same way you did.

That was, until you walked out of the bathroom and saw him pushed up against the wall with some girl’s tongue down his throat. 

You felt like the room was spinning. Your heart shattered and you found it difficult to get air into your lungs as you stood frozen in shock, eyes glued to the pair like a car wreck. You just couldn’t look away. It felt like years, but lasted only a second before Jimin’s eyes opened and he spotted you. He pushed the girl off of him, taking a step toward you, but you made a beeline for the door.

You weaved your way through the crowd as fast as you could, ignoring Taehyung who gleefully called out for you to join him in karaoke. You begged any entity that was listening to let you hold your tears in until there were no witnesses, focusing solely on getting your feet to move faster and holding your emotions at bay. You heard Jimin calling your name but you only moved faster, sprinting out of the open door and down the empty road.

How could you have been so stupid? Of course he didn’t like you. You were just the first person to show him, real, unconditional friendship. That’s all his affection was. Platonic. He didn’t want you. How could he? That girl looked like a supermodel. Of course she was more his type. How could you even think he would ever want someone like you? Because he spent one night with his arms wrapped around you and brought you to a party in front of his friends? Ugh.

“Y/N! Wait!” Jimin called, and you could hear his footsteps growing closer. 

Damn him and his dancer’s stamina.

You wiped any stray tears from your eyes and did your best to plaster on a smile as you turned around to face him, you couldn’t outrun him. You might as well act normal and pretend everything was fine. Jimin slowed to a stop in front of you, panting a little.

“Where are you going?” he asked breathlessly.

“Oh, uh. I’m going home,” you grimaced as your voice cracked.

“Y/N, it wasn’t what it looked like,” Jimin began.

“Oh Jimin, it’s fine,” you brushed him off, using every bit of your willpower to make yourself seem believable. “You can do whatever or whoever you want. It’s not like I own you.”

“I saw the look on your face, Y/N, I-” Jimin tried but you shook your head.

“No it’s fine. I should’ve known you’d want to have some fun tonight. You’re not obligated to babysit me just because you invited me,” you cut him off.

“But I-” he tried again, scratching his arm in frustration.

“Go back to the party, that girl is probably waiting,” you smiled, moving to turn around.

“Would you just fucking listen to me?!” he shouted, making you freeze in your tracks. 

Your eyes flickered up to meet his in shock, mouth hanging slightly ajar. Despite him being covered in tattoos and piercings, you’d never heard Jimin raise his voice or be threatening in any way. His sudden outburst caused your heart to flutter in your chest, both with astonishment and a little bit of arousal.

“She just came up and started talking to me, and she asked me to fuck, but I said no. She kissed me out of nowhere and I froze. As soon as I saw you I knew I fucked up. I pushed her off and told her to get lost. I don’t want her, Y/N. I don’t want any of them,” he nearly growled in frustration, running a hand through his messy hair. “I don’t want anyone else. I want you.”

Your heart stopped beating entirely. 

“I was scared to tell you because I didn’t want to scare you off. You said all you wanted was friendship and I didn’t want to push you away. You’re my best friend. You’re the only one who really sees me, the only one who really cares. You make me a better man. I can’t imagine my life without you in it. Everyone leaves but I can’t lose you. Not you. I… I love you. I’m in love with you,” he sighed, taking a step closer and gauging your reaction.

“You… do?” you whispered, scared that if you spoke too loudly he’d vanish and you’d wake up from this dream.

“I love you,” he repeated, placing his hands on your shoulders and running them down your arms to interlock your fingers.

“I love you too,” you choked out, your tears running freely now. “Jimin I love you so much it hurts.”

Jimin lifted one hand to cup your cheek, his eyes full of love and adoration and contentment. His gaze flickered down to your lips then back up to your eyes. You nodded, just barely, and he leaned in. Finally, after months of daydreaming about this very moment, Jimin’s soft, plush lips pressed against your own. Time seemed to stop, and everything faded away but Jimin and the way he kissed you. 

His kiss was gentle, but held so much passion. All the words he couldn’t say, or didn’t know how to, he flooded them all into the way he kissed you, wrapping his arms around you and bringing you closer as he worked his mouth against your own. Kissing Jimin felt like coming home, like the first breath of air after being caught in a current and forced underwater until your breaking point. It felt right. 

Jimin’s tongue danced along your bottom lip, and you opened your mouth, allowing him entrance. His tongue explored your mouth, sliding along yours and it felt more like a loving caress than horny college kids making out. Deepening the kiss had lit something inside you and you pressed even closer to him, pouring all your love and longing into the actions between your lips.  

Pulling away only when your lungs began screaming for air, Jimin rested his forehead against your own, his breaths coming out labored. His eyes searched yours and a slow smile spread across his reddened lips.

“I’ve wanted to do that for so long,” he admitted breathlessly.

“Me too,” you giggled, hiding your face in the crook of his neck as the blush crept into your cheeks.

Jimin laughed and held you tight against him, rubbing soothing circles against your back. You both stayed like that, in the middle of the road, the only light being the stars and the moon, but you didn’t care. All that mattered was that Jimin loved you. Jimin loved you! And he wanted you. And you were safe in his arms. 

“Let’s get you home, yeah?” Jimin smiled, pulling back to look at your face.

You nodded, slipping your hand into his and walking beside him. Your whole chest felt like it was going to explode. You were elated. You were shocked and excited and so, so happy. You giggled to yourself, hiding your face with your free hand as Jimin walked you home.

“What’s so funny?” he chuckled.

“I can’t believe this is real, I’m so happy,” you admitted, biting your lip nervously and shooting a curious glance his way to watch his reaction.

Jimin smiled softly, pulling you closer to leave a gentle kiss on your forehead.

“Me too baby. Me too,” he said softly.

Jimin walked you home and you both crawled into your bed. Jimin wrapped you up in his arms and held you close. You felt like you were in heaven. You ran your fingers through Jimin’s hair, then trailed them down his arm, tracing his tattoos with the tips of your fingers. Jimin smiled, rubbing shapes and doodles into the skin of your back where your shirt had ridden up. 

His gentle caresses were soothing, and after the ultra emotional day you’d had, you were pretty drained. You drifted in and out of consciousness, shifting closer to Jimin and he grinned, holding you against his frame and leaving gentle pecks on your neck, your ear, wherever he could reach. You giggled.

“I’m so glad you’re finally mine,” he whispered into the chilly air of your room.

“I’ve been yours, Jimin. From the moment I met you,” you admitted sheepishly.

“I might not have known it yet, but I was yours too,” he smiled, kissing your cheek. “Now go to sleep.”

So you did.

                                                        -♡-

About a week later, the rumors were still running rampant about you and Jimin after you’d both made it official on social media, and were now spotted sharing sweet kisses and tender touches in public rather than just being together. You’d received a fair amount of messages and evil looks, girls upset that you’d taken Jimin off the market and now his skills were “going to waste.” You’d just roll your eyes and hit the block button.

You had been wondering about those skills more and more recently. Once you and Jimin had started dating, he had seemingly become allergic to wearing shirts. Prancing around your dorm room with his toned body on display, delicious ink decorating the surface of his ivory skin… you were frequently having thoughts that weren’t exactly PG. But Jimin hadn’t brought up sexual activity, and neither had you.

You felt like you could cut the sexual tension with a knife some days, but didn’t want to push Jimin into anything, not when you knew that he’d used sex as a way to push people away in the past. You knew you were overthinking, and should probably just talk to him, but you were nervous. But oh goodness did you want him. You’d wanted him from the moment you’d laid eyes on him, and rejecting his proposition that first night had been harder than you’d thought.

Now it seemed like every time you looked at Jimin, it became harder to hold back. Knowing that he knew you loved him now, and that he loved you too gave you that level of comfort you needed to be able to finally take the plunge with him. You wanted him to plunge into you. All. Night. Long. 

You shook your head to rid yourself of the dirty thoughts you were having just as Jimin climbed in bed beside you, snuggling up to your frame and pulling you against him. You smiled and ran your fingers over the tattoos on his arms, tracing the designs with the tips of your fingers as lightly as you could. Jimin liked that you were always touching him. Running your fingers through his hair, tracing his tattoos, or just resting your palm against his chest. It didn’t matter as long as you were touching him, he was content. 

He shifted, laying on his back with one arm tucked behind his head, allowing you to rest your head on his chest and trace the tattoos that littered the skin there as well. Jimin closed his eyes and focused on the sound of your even breathing and the feeling of your fingers gently brushing against his skin. He shivered a time or two, and you snuggled closer, assuming he was cold. Unable to rid yourself of the lingering dampness between your thighs, you let your fingers gently graze across Jimin’s pierced nipple.

Jimin sucked in a breath and bit back a low moan, but you heard his chest rumble with the action. You bit your lip and mumbled a quiet, insincere apology. You traced the tattoos along his collar bone for a while before your fingers daringly dipped down, brushing the other exposed nipple, which had Jimin tensing below you and letting out a quiet whine.

“Are you doing that on purpose?” he accused, focusing his gaze on you.

“Noooo…” you trailed off, looking up at him with faux innocence.

“I’m trying really hard to be good right now, baby girl,” he breathed out, almost as if he was in pain. 

“What if… I don’t want you to be?” you whispered seductively, letting your hand trail down his abdomen teasingly.

Jimin’s muscles clenched at the movement, and you noticed there was a sizable tent in his sweatpants. Your mouth watered at the sight. He was clearly working with some nice equipment. Jimin shifted so he could put his full attention on you, his eyes searching yours.

“Are you sure? I know you said you were waiting, are you really ready for this?” he asked, concern and a little bit of hope written all over his face.

“I’m sure. I love you, Jimin. I want you,” you smiled reassuringly, leaning in to place a kiss to his gorgeous, soft lips.

Jimin brought his hand up to cup your cheek, working those plush lips of his against your own. The two of you had made out before, but this felt different. You were filled with anticipation and need. You pressed yourself closer to him, and he took the opportunity to deepen the kiss, his tongue sliding gracefully along your bottom lip, which you immediately parted for him.

His deft muscle slipped inside your mouth, rolling against yours skillfully. His hand dropped from your cheek and snaked up your side, sneaking under your shirt and grazing along your stomach until he reached your breast, kneading it underneath your flimsy bralette. His thumb brushed against your nipple and your body jolted towards him, seeking more. 

“Mmm… so responsive.” he whispered against your lips with a teasing smirk. 

You furrowed your eyebrows, then let your nail scrape gently along his pierced nipple, tugging ever so gently on the metal ring. Jimin moaned into your mouth, his body arching towards yours. You smirked against his lips.

“So responsive.” you giggled.

Jimin chuckled, pulling back to look at you with a raised eyebrow, the light reflecting off the piercing there as well. His cocky look was gasoline on the fire of your arousal, and you made yourself busy by kissing down his exposed neck, leaving a trail of red and purple bruises in your wake.  Jimin’s low moans were music to your ears. You wanted to elicit more of the beautiful sounds from the irresistible man who had become putty in your hands.

Urging him onto his back, you straddled his hips and ground your covered core down against his clothed erection for a little relief, causing Jimin to let out more delicious noises. You kissed down his chest, bringing his nipple piercing into your mouth and licking around the sensitive area before tugging it gently with your teeth, scraping the flesh just a bit in the process. Jimin’s hips bucked up into yours at the action.

Your fingers teasingly dipped below the elastic of his sweats, running back and forth along the edge while you worked your mouth against each nipple. Jimin’s hands found purchase on your hips, his nails digging in just a bit so he had something to ground himself while you teased him. Your hand slipped underneath his sweats, surprised to find he’d foregone boxers. Your fingers brushed against his rigid length, and he tensed, gripping your hips harder.

“Don’t tease,” he groaned, head lolling back as he tried to restrain himself.

You giggled, wrapping your hand around his length and slowly dragging it upwards, letting your thumb circle the tip. You used the precum that spilled out to lubricate your next journey down. Jimin groaned, finally losing patience and effortlessly flipped the two of you over until he was hovering above you. He smirked at the surprised expression on your face and began leaving pretty red marks all over your neck and the exposed portion of your chest.

He sat up momentarily, pinning you with a hungry gaze and fiddling with the hem of your shirt.

“Off,” he commanded.

You immediately complied, peeling the fabric off your body and tossing it away, revealing your lacy bralette. Jimin’s eyes roamed over your chest and he licked his lips before leaning down and letting his tongue draw a stripe over the thin fabric covering your nipple, already erect and sensitive. Soft whimpers escaped your lips. It felt good, but you needed more.

Jimin’s lips traveled farther down your body, leaving marks all over your skin. He licked and sucked and nibbled in places you never would’ve considered erogenous zones before, but honestly, maybe it was just because it was Jimin. His tongue danced along the hem of your shorts teasingly before he glanced up at you to make sure you were still okay. You nodded breathlessly.

Jimin peeled your shorts down to expose your black satin panties, and you wished you’d worn the lace ones but it could’ve been worse. He brought the little bow tie between his teeth, tugging and letting it snap back against your pelvis. You jumped a bit and Jimin chuckled, mumbling “so cute” under his breath before slipping your soaked panties down your legs and tossing them aside.

“Damn baby girl, you’re dripping,” he grinned triumphantly. “What got you all worked up like this?”

“Jimin,”  you whined impatiently.

“That’s right baby, say my name,” he teased (although he wasn’t really joking), but didn’t waste much more time, lowering his face and licking a bold stripe along your folds to distract you while he snuck a finger closer to your entrance, letting your arousal aid him in entering you. His tongue drew some sort of lost language on your clit with expertise, and it was almost impossible for you to hold still with the amount of pleasure coursing through your veins.

Your hips bucked up and Jimin moved a hand to splay along your lower stomach, holding you down onto the bed while he devoured your pussy, slowly adding a second and third finger to stretch you out. It burned for a moment before you got used to it, Jimin’s fingers gliding along your walls and hitting your g-spot repeatedly. Even for your first time together, he knew your body like the back of his hand.

 You could already feel the coil deep inside you threaten to snap at Jimin’s ministrations. You were a moaning mess, babbling his name like it was the only word you knew. His plump lips wrapped around your throbbing bundle and he sucked- hard. You groaned, back arching off the bed as your orgasm crashed over you, your vision going spotty. Now you knew why they said he could make you see stars.

Your body fell lax against the mattress as you panted, before pushing yourself up on your elbows to see Jimin’s face lift from your core. He met your eyes and seductively licked your juices off his lips, closing his eyes and savoring the taste of you. Your mouth went dry at how erotic he looked, and he climbed up your body, pressing his lips to yours and allowing you to taste yourself. 

Your mouths worked against each other, and you wound your fingers in his hair, tugging gently on his soft locks, causing him to let out a low whine. 

“Do that again,” he begged against your lips, his voice deeper and a little hoarse, but needy.

You wound your fingers in his hair, gripping it tighter and tugging again. Jimin let out a strangled moan, grinding his rock hard member against your core. Your body shivered at the feeling of his clothed shaft pressing up against where you needed him the most.  

“Jimin, please,” you sighed, bucking your hips up to meet his.

“Okay baby. Oh fuck. Please tell me I still have a spare condom,” he suddenly groaned, reaching over for his wallet on your nightstand. 

You watched him curiously, your eyes lingering on the curve of his plump ass under his sweats. You licked your lips, wanting to bite into the flesh. You’d save that for another time. Jimin let out a triumphant noise and held the condom in the air like a first place medal. You giggled at your boyfriend and rolled your eyes with a smile. 

Jimin slid his sweats off in one smooth motion, kicking them away and onto the floor somewhere before ripping the condom open with his teeth and rolling it onto his length. Jimin paused,  peering at you from his place above you, a small smile curling onto his plush lips, his eyes alight with adoration.

“I love you,” he whispered, intertwining his fingers with yours.

“I love you too,” you sighed happily. 

“Are you ready?” he asked, squeezing your hand gently.

“Yes. I’m ready.”

Jimin leaned down, meeting your lips in a soft kiss, and slowly slid his rigid length into your honeyed entrance. You gasped into his mouth at the welcome intrusion, his cock stretching you in the most delicious way. Even with the prep from his fingers, his cock stretching your walls burned just slightly. Jimin deepened the kiss in an attempt to distract you from the discomfort, slowly inching more of his length inside until he bottomed out, his hips flush against yours.

Jimin fit inside you perfectly, his thick cock filling you up like he was made for you. He pulled back to look at your face, and you shot him a reassuring smile. He brought your joined hands up to his lips, placing them gently on the back of your wrist, and once you nodded your approval, he slid out until just the bulbous tip was left inside, before sliding back in, setting a slow, torturing pace.

This wasn’t your first rodeo, though you were nowhere near as experienced as Jimin, but no one had ever felt this good inside you. No one had ever felt this right. Jimin reached places inside you that no man had before and you were already falling apart at the movement of his hips. Jimin was definitely a dancer, able to move his body precisely and with precision, angling his hips to hit that soft spot inside you with every thrust. 

“Fuck babygirl, you look so beautiful like this,” he groaned into your ear, his hot breath coming out in short puffs from the physical exertion.

“Ngh. Jimin,” you whined, “Please. More.” 

“Can you handle it?” he wondered, experimentally dragging his cock a little faster along your walls, continually hitting that sweet spot inside you.

“Yes, yes please. Need you,” you whimpered, bucking your hips up to meet his.

Jimin’s brow furrowed in concentration and his hips picked up speed, his sole purpose in that moment to give you the most blinding pleasure you’d ever experienced. His punishing pace had you wailing out his name in ecstasy, clawing at his back in a desperate attempt to ground yourself to something, lest you float away into oblivion from the fire building deep in your core.

“Come on baby, you look so pretty when you cum for me. Let go,” Jimin urged, his free hand slipping between your bodies to rub at your clit.

“Fuck… Jimin!” you cried out, and his teeth sinking into the flesh of your neck was the last thing you needed to send you careening over the edge into bliss for the second time that night.

Your breath coming in heavy pants, you were surprised when Jimin showed no signs of slowing down. Your walls continued to clench around his length in the aftermath of your orgasm, and Jimin let our low growls at the feeling of your pussy swallowing up his cock with each thrust. You whimpered, slightly sensitive from your two previous orgasms, but Jimin pistoning himself inside you still felt heavenly. 

Jimin shifted, pulling your leg up over his shoulder, the new position allowing him to reach even deeper inside your core, and your eyes nearly rolled back in your skull at the sensation of his cock kissing your cervix. You were a whimpering mess, your moans now garbled gibberish, not making any sense. All you knew in that moment was Jimin and how good he made you feel.

His lips wrapped around your nipple, sucking and nibbling on the sensitive flesh, and you shivered. His thrusts were getting erratic as he chased his own high, but Jimin was desperate to make you cum again first. He pinched and rolled your clit between his thumb and forefinger, abusing the bundle in the best way, sending you closer to your high once again.

“Fuck, Jimin- I-” you groaned.

“Come on baby, give me one more,” Jimin encouraged, using all his strength to hold back his own impending orgasm as he slammed inside of you.

Your whole body seemed to seize as you came for the third time, this one more intense than the others, making you almost dizzy with euphoria. Your throat burned with the force of your screams, quickly turning raw with use. Jimin didn’t last much longer, your cunt clenching around his length sending him over the edge. His hips stilled as he spilled ropes of hot cum into the condom. You could feel the heat from the thin plastic layer and wished that you could feel his seed shooting into you, dripping from your hole. 

Jimin collapsed next to you, panting. His body was covered in a thin sheen of sweat, and he looked absolutely edible like this. His plump lips parted as heavy breaths escaped, he turned his head and his eyes met yours. You were both shaking from the intensity of your highs, and you let out a quiet giggle which made a smile bloom across Jimin’s lips. He let out a quiet chuckle.

“You’re so beautiful,” he cooed, turning his body back to face yours after tossing the used condom into the trash.

His arms wrapped around your torso, bringing your naked chests flush against each other as he peppered chaste kisses along your forehead, nose, and cheeks before catching your lips in a sweet kiss. 

“I love you,” you whispered, clinging to his sweaty body like he was the only thing keeping you from floating away, and maybe he was.

“I love you more,” he grinned against the skin of your neck.

“Absolutely not. I love you more,” you pouted.

“Nuh uh,” he teased, fingers poking into your side, causing you to shriek and curl into him.

He laughed and kissed your forehead, relenting from his teasing and tickling. Your bodies spent, you drifted off to sleep together, safe in the comfort of each other’s arms.

                                                        -♡-

Months had flown by in the blink of an eye. Suddenly, it was May and you were graduating. They say time flies when you’re having fun, and they are right. Every moment spent with Jimin never seemed to last long enough. After the two of you started dating, Jimin had slowly begun opening up to other people. He learned to trust Hoseok and Taehyung, and your initial impression of them had been correct: they were people Jimin could count on. 

Jimin did lose a few friends from the frat house when he stopped trying to play the part of the indifferent fuckboi, but he didn’t really count those people as losses. If they couldn’t accept the real him, they weren’t worth it. The two of you had branched out socially, and made new friends as well. Yoongi, the music major, who began working at the coffee shop you both frequented. He was stoic and unapproachable at first, but Jimin had commented on his band t shirt once and Yoongi’s eyes lit up like a Christmas tree, showing that he was actually super sweet and thoughtful once you got past his icy exterior. 

Namjoon, the business major whom you’d met while browsing the shelves of your university library. You’d been having a hard time reaching the book you wanted, and Namjoon had assisted without you even asking for help, his much taller frame bringing the book down to your level. He’d told you he had read that book at least ten times and you would surely love it. The two of you hit it off and soon Jimin joined you, immediately connecting with Namjoon as well. He was smart, patient, and would make an amazing businessman, just from the way he could read people but never treated anyone any differently.

Seokjin, the culinary arts major who had gone around campus giving out free samples of his work, promoting his new youtube channel “Eat Jin.” One taste of his dasik and you were begging him for the recipe. Jin had lit up and began explaining exactly how to make it and invited you to an episode of Eat Jin.

Jungkook, who hadn’t quite figured out what he wanted to do yet, had met Jimin at the gym. He was boxing in the practice room that Jimin had reserved to dance. He hadn’t noticed he’d gone over his time, and when Jimin politely entered the room, complimenting his form, he’d flushed and shot him the most adorable bunny smile. Jungkook apologized for running over his time and Jimin brushed it off, but Jungkook insisted on buying him coffee as an apology.

Slowly but surely, your friendship group grew, each new friend weaving their way into your hearts and teaching you something new. They got along with each other as well, as it turned out. You’d thrown a surprise party for Jimin’s birthday and invited them along, Namjoon and Jin became inseparable almost immediately, and Hoseok and Yoongi as well. Taehyung and Jungkook became a dynamic duo, consistently stirring up trouble wherever they went. 

Hoseok and Hana hadn’t broken up, after all. Hana had even contacted you to get coffee, apologizing for judging Jimin unfairly and trying to get in between the two of you. She’d joined your little group of friends, which slowly became more like a second family . Jimin flourished, surrounded by people who loved and cared for him exactly as he was.

He didn’t have to pretend to be anything but himself, didn’t have to please anyone, play any parts. His smile reached ear to ear and his eyes shone with love and light and so much life. Thinking back to the way they’d been dull and lifeless when you first met him brought you to tears as you watched him throw his head back in laughter and wrap his arms around Jungkook, who returned the gesture with similar glee.

Jimin no longer seemed broken. The dead weight resting in his chest had been lifted, and he was free. It didn’t happen overnight, and beginning his relationship with you certainly hadn’t been a magic fix, but it had been a catalyst. You taught Jimin that there were people in this world who genuinely could care for him without expecting anything in return. You showed him that there was still good, and he could trust people. Then, slowly, he’d met more and more people who only validated the lessons you’d taught him.

The more people Jimin met who didn’t use him, the more the ice around his heart began to chip away, giving him the strength and the courage to save himself from the darkness that had plagued his heart and mind for so long. And now, you were all graduating, moving on to pursue your dreams and aspirations. It was the last party of your college career, and you’d all gathered because Jimin had announced he’d had something to say to everyone. You gazed up proudly at your boyfriend.

“Thank you all for being here to celebrate the last night of college!” he cheered, earning hoots and hollers from your friends.

 “I know we all promised to keep in touch, but I just wanted to make sure that you all know how much I appreciate you being in my life. I love every single one of you, and I couldn’t have asked for a more amazing group of people to surround myself with. You all have lifted me up, encouraged me, and given me the strength to keep fighting when times got tough. They say that sometimes when you’re in a dark place, that you think you’ve been buried. But really, you’ve been planted. You just need a little bit of love and patience before you bloom. So thank you for giving me what I needed to bloom. All of you. Especially you, Y/N. You were the first person who really believed in me, and if it weren’t for you, I never would’ve let in any of these guys. I love you, baby. And I love all of you,” he grinned, “So here’s a toast to all of you, may your future be bright and your beer be full!”

Cheers erupted around you and you cheered along, all of you knocking back a sip of your drink to Jimin’s toast. He hopped down and wrapped an arm around you, kissing your cheek as your friends congratulated him on his speech and shared how happy they were to have met you both as well. Your heart felt like it couldn’t possibly get any fuller than it was in that moment, surrounded by people you loved. 

You and Jimin had both grown so much since that first night at the party, you’d fought, you’d cried, you’d laughed, and you’d gotten stronger. You were so proud of him and how far he had come, and you felt peace settle over you knowing the fact that he’d never have to be alone again, and neither would you. No matter what you found on the road ahead, you’d be okay.

You had each other.

#bts smut #jimin smut #park jimin x reader #jimin x reader #park jimin smut #park jimin #park jimin bts #jimin #jimin bts #tattooed bts #au #college #college au #friends to lovers #strangers to lovers #strangers to friends to lovers #slowburn #fuckboi!jimin #jimin imagine #jimin x you #you x jimin #reader x jimin #jimin one shot #park jimin one shot

[august-and-clouds]

🎃Book recommendations (4th week of October):🎃

Anything You Can Act, I Can Act Louder - by Robert Grove

Anything You Can Act, I Can Act Even Louder - by Robert Grove

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In the spirit of Halloween, I want to introduce two of my most favourite spooky season books! I was very skeptical at first (100 thousand+ raving 5 stars reviews on Goodreads but thousands of 1 star reviews on Amazon? Seems suspicious) but I finally caved in last year and WOW.

Just WOW.

I don't normally say this about books (and yes, I know, it sounds corn-(le)y) but these two books CHANGED MY LIFE. I used to really struggle with speaking up, standing up for myself and getting my points across at my workplace. But now? I'm getting a promotion, and my boss calls me his 'most assertive and direct employee yet'! And the secret? Speak LOUDER. Be LOUDER. Act LOUDER. LOUDER, LOUDER, LOUDER. Which can all be found in Robert Grove's first book - Anything You Can Act, I Can Act Louder.

I know, I know, his books are targeted towards budding actors, and what if you're not one? Fear not, for his insightful advice applies to us non-actors as well! To him, the world is a stage, made up of actors and sub-actors. We, the ordinally folk, are sub-actors. Every day is a performance - from when we wake up, when we greet our colleagues at work, when we order takeaway, the way we walk, the way we smile, the way we turn the doorknob - everything is essentially an act. And that's why anyone can learn a tip or two from him.

Here's a recent example: just the other day, a kid accidentally ran into me on the street and fell down. Nobody was hurt, but the kid's father was furious. He had clearly witnessed the whole affair but he kept shouting and screaming into my face for 'hurting' his kid (some people...) Past me would had resigned to it, but not present me!

I used one of Grove's many tips: never let yourself be masked by a sub-actor. I was no real actor, but in that situation, he was the inferior sub-actor, and I wasn't going to let myself be masked. So I just talked LOUDLY over him. He appeared to be slightly confused at first and started shouting even more expletives, but I didn't let that discourage me, and started speaking even LOUDER. He eventually stopped and left with his head hanging in shame (I think he looked a bit spooked too). BOOM! Problem solved, just like that!

Robert Grove's tip: The more you do, the less they can do

- Anything You Can Act, I Can Act Even Louder, Robert Grove

For the actors that are still unconvinced that these books will help in your acting career, consider: aren't you bored of old acting techniques, warm ups, coaching videos? Aren't you tired of clinically mapping out every character's objective or immersing yourself into the character just because Stanislavski and Lee Strasberg said so? Robert Grove's acting books provide fresh acting techniques that will make you look at things from a new perspective. What's more - they contain diagrams and pop-ups that can really benefit the visual learners. Follow Grove's tips, and you'll be sure to ace auditions. (Seriously)

I really, really encourage everyone to give his books a read!! They can be found in any local bookstore, or you can access the audiobook and instructional videos via BBC iPlayer. He personally demonstrates some of his tips with his colleagues and sub-actors on his series, "The Goes Wrong Show"! The book cover may appear slightly aggressive, but you've got to take a second look at them, because there's more to a book than the cover :)) Give them a chance, and who knows? You might just be able to bulldoze your way through tough times and live life with the same unapologetically brash attitude as him.

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[For existing fans: Vanessa (yes, THE Vanessa) will be participating in Grove's upcoming Zoom lecture!! I can't wait to ask Grove's star pupil how she practices his techniques. For those attending as well, please message me! I'm trying to set up a group so that we can coordinate our backgrounds and questions :) ]

#mischief #mischief theatre #mischief comedy #robert grove #the goes wrong show #anything you can act i can act louder #book recommendations #book recs #book review #this is a totally serious post #october reads #i am 100% serious #yes i actually took that picture #no this is not a shitpost #anything you can act i can act even louder #if you zoom in you can probably make out some words

[girlwiththereapertattoo]

begin again - part three

Jax Teller x female!Reader

Summary: Y/N and Jax grow closer... I don't know what else to say without revealing spoilers haha

Word count: 4k words

Warnings: very bad language, mentions of blood, physical & verbal abuse, angsty & some fluff

Author's note: I appreciate all the positive feedback I've received this far! It's much appreciated :) also, I'm bad at writing these summaries

If you’re in an abusive relationship or you suspect that someone you know is being abused, speak up and reach out to the correct people!

Beta read by @crucifixedbitch

PART ONE | PART TWO

💀💀💀💀💀

He’s late. The thought brings about a familiar uneasiness and your mind conjures images of a bloodied Jax lying unconscious in some dingy ditch. Jesus Christ.

“Mommy, why did you stop reading?”

S/N’s soft voice draws you back to reality. You look over to his bed where he’s laying beside Abel. “Did I stop reading?”

He giggles, “Yep.”

Oh. You look down at the book in your hand then back up at the boys. “I’m sorry, ace. I guess Mommy’s a bit tired.” And apparently, she’s distracted. You look back down at the book, willing yourself to remember your place.

“Cooper the Cat was stuck in the tree,” he reminds you.

“Right, Cooper the Cat!” your eyes hastily skim through the short paragraphs until you land at the right sentence. “Got it. ‘Help!’ cried Cooper from the tree…”

And just like that, all thoughts of Jax and his safety are shoved to the back of your mind to deal with at a later time. It’s your lucky day today, the boys have had a long day and they’re out before you reach the end of the book.

“I love you, ace,” you whisper to your son after you’ve kissed him goodnight.

It’s because of your love for S/N that you left Jax and the endless bullshit that comes with him. Anxiety-filled nights like this one are a thing of your past and you know you can’t allow yourself to be consumed by thoughts of him. Once you start, there’s no stopping you. You know this, very well, so why is there a sick feeling twisting in your gut? Because a small part of you is still in love with your ex.

Hope blooms when your phone vibrates in your pocket but it’s only B/N. It’s not that you’re not happy to see your boyfriend’s name on your phone screen, but the anxiety’s gnawing at your mind, and you’re desperate for it to be put to sleep. Fortunately for you, B/N’s in high spirits. He’s been frustrated with you lately, and wants you back in Charlotte — his insecurities about Jax are beginning to show.

It’s for that reason that you don’t tell him about S/N’s friendship with Abel.

“This time next week, you and S/N will be back home,” he muses.

“Yeah, we both can’t wait.” You feel disappointed at the realization, “It feels like forever, doesn’t it?”

And S/N has been asking about B/N more and more these days but you don’t tell that to him, afraid that he’ll catch the earliest flight to California. Truthfully, you’re not exactly ready to let Jax out of your life which you’ll be forced to do if B/N’s in Charming. You see, he’s… protective and doesn’t like the idea of you hanging around men. Especially Jax. Hell, he almost stopped you from attending your own mother’s funeral.

Of course, it was under the guise of being the protective boyfriend. “Are you sure it’s safe for you to be in the same town as your violent biker ex?” He said all the right things and did everything in his power to talk you out of the decision but in the end, he failed to convince you to stay away.

“Goodnight, I love you.”

You hang up just in time to hear Jax’s motorcycle pull up out front. The relief is quickly overshadowed by concern when you open the door and are greeted by a bloody-faced Jax.

“I’m late.”

“I’m more concerned about that gash on your brow. Come in.” You open the door wider, “If you’re here to get Abel, he’s asleep. You can fetch him in the morning.”

“Shit.” You step aside to allow him access into the house, “I’m sorry, Y/N, I got caught up in Oakland.”

“It’s fine. S/N was happy to have Abel stay the night.”

He smiles, “Thank you.”

You return his smile, “We should clean that before it gets infected.” Before you can process your actions, you’re leaning closer to take a better look at the cut. “I can’t see much, you should rinse it with water. I’ll go grab the first aid kit.”

“It’s late, I’ll have Chibs take care of the cut.”

“Meet me in the kitchen,” you start for the bathroom, “rinse the cut.”

You grab the first aid kit from the bathroom and find Jax sitting at the breakfast table, pensively staring into space, a half-drunk bottle of water sitting in front of him.

“Here.”

Your voice pulls him from his reverie. His eyes drop to the pill container in your hand and he arches a brow.

“It’s for the pain.”

“Thanks.” He accepts the pills and pops the cap open, “I should’ve called.”

“It’s fine.” You do your best to keep a casualness in your voice when you ask, “What was happening in Oakland? Is everyone okay?”

He gazes at you for a long while before he responds, gauging where your head is at. “Yeah, we’re all fine.”

“Should I be worried?”

He slowly shakes his head, “No.”

You watch him take the pain medication, there are so many questions to ask, questions only Jax has answers to.

“Is it safe for you to be here?”

He swallows the pills and smiles, “I wouldn’t have come if it wasn’t safe. Don’t worry, you and S/N are safe.”

Hesitantly, you nod as you pull a chair from the table. In a bid to lighten the mood, you tell him, “No offense, Jackie, but you look like shit.”

“I feel like shit,” he chuckles.

You take your seat in front of him and suppress the urge to smile, “Who punched your handsome mug?”

“I was pistol-whipped.”

“Ouch.” Scooting forward in your chair, you lean towards Jax to get a better look at the rinsed cut, and for a very brief moment, your eyes lock with his before they dart up to his cut. “It’s like the good ol’ days, isn’t it?”

“You playin’ nurse?”

“Yeah.”

Back in the day, nights like these were common. Jax would sit at this very table, at the very chair he’s sat on, whilst you tended to his cuts and bruises. Mother would be sitting in the living room, hurling insults at both you and Jax. She would take any chance to remind you that you were making a mistake you would regret for the rest of your life.

“Your mom hated me.”

Your eyes lock with his, “In her defense, you would always be finding ways to antagonize her.”

And in return, your mother would call Jax all kinds of names but even that wouldn’t keep him away. Nothing ever could keep him from you. Memories of Jax sneaking into your room late at night come to mind. “I had to come kiss my girl goodnight,” he’d tell you.

“We were pretty wild back then,” you reminisce.

And you were madly in love with each other, however, you keep that part to yourself. The situation’s complicated enough without the added layer. You’ve barely mustered the courage to mention B/N’s existence to Jax because, in all honesty, you’re not quite sure how he might react to another man raising his son. The thought of his reaction fills you with dread. Heaven knows he’ll give you a hard time about leaving next week.

Gah, it’s all too much! With a shake of your head, you dismiss all thoughts and grab the ointment from the kit. “Shall we?”

He nods and shuts his eye for you to apply it on the cut. A silence descends upon the kitchen and neither of you makes an effort to fill it.

“You’re good to go,” you announce once you’re done.

“Thanks.”

“I couldn’t risk it getting infected.”

More than anything, you don’t want S/N to see Mommy’s friend sporting cuts on his face. He’ll ask questions, probably mention it to B/N, and you’re not looking to have that drama in your life.

“Are you hungry? I’m assuming you haven’t had your dinner…”

“Nah, but I should get going.”

Your mood deflates at his announcement. The truth is you don’t want him to leave but how do you stop him without giving him the wrong idea? Why are you even stopping him from leaving?

“Stay,” you blurt out.

“Stay?”

“Yeah, there’s the guest bedroom. It’s late and you’re medicated and you shouldn’t be driving and–”

“I have nothing to wear.”

“Sure you do.” You take a breath to compose yourself, “I was cleaning out the closets the other day and I found some of your old stuff. They’re clean, I uh, washed them. Everything is oversized, they should still fit you.”

You had intended to take them to Goodwill and you will but right now, Jax needs them.

“Look, I would never forgive myself if something happened to you.”

It isn’t a lie but it isn’t the full truth. Honestly? You just want him near you. It’s wrong, and you understand the implications and know that B/N won’t be happy should he find out, but one night wouldn’t be harmful to anyone, right? Besides, he’ll be sleeping in the guest bedroom.

He thoughtfully considers your proposition. After a stretched silence, he reluctantly accepts your offer.

“Great,” you perk up, “I’ll warm up your dinner.”

You make some conversation over dinner, none of the heavy shit, mostly catching up on all you’ve missed in the four years you’ve been away. He tells you about the club, and that Opie met someone and they’re now married.

“And how about you? Is there anyone special in your life?”

He doesn’t answer your question, not that you expect him to. You just can’t help but be curious. After dinner, he heads over to the bathroom to take his shower whilst you load the dishwasher and dig through the laundry to look for Jax’s old t-shirts and sweats. The guilt sets in and you fight the urge to call B/N to tell him about Jax.

You’re dialing his number when you stop yourself. “Geez, Y/N!” you toss your phone into the laundry basket and step back to create distance between you and the device. Think about this. The last thing you need is B/N bulldozing into Charming and starting shit with Jax and the M.C. — that could be fatal. No, Jax staying the night is you helping out an old friend, there’s nothing more to it.

Grabbing the folded pile of clothing, you make your way down the hall to the guest bedroom and find Jax waiting patiently on the bed for you. Nothing but a towel tied around his waist.

“I should’ve knocked, I’m sorry.”

He rises off the bed and that’s when you get a clear view of his torso, and the tattoo inscribed on his ribcage.

“You’ve proved your point, Jax, now let’s go.” “No, why?” You look over your shoulder to the big, tattooed man standing over by the counter, laughing at whatever joke he’s just been told. You’re at some grimy tattoo parlor, somewhere in Reno, and Jax’s about to get your name tattooed on his body. His ribcage to be exact. The sentiment is sweet, you admit, but it’s a permanent decision, and you’re only 17. You look back at Jax who’s now laying shirtless on the tattoo chair, “Do you realize how insane this is?” He smiles brightly as he shakes his head. “Do you have a death wish? Gemma’ll kill us both when she sees this.” Part of her rage will be due to the fact that it’s your name on his ribcage instead of hers. “And what if they find out we’ve lied about our age?” “Babe, will you relax? They won’t, this place is a dump.” Which is exactly why he shouldn’t get his first-ever tattoo done here. “There’s no talking you out of this, huh?” “No.” He laces his fingers with yours and raises your hand to press a kiss to its back, “This is what I want to do. I don’t care what my mom thinks.” “And the pain? You don’t care about that either?” He shakes his head, “No.” You glance at the stencil transfer on his ribcage and sigh. “I know you don’t have to do this–” “I want to do this.” “And there’s clearly no talking you out of this.” “Yeah.” You squeeze his hand and flash him a reassuring smile, “Do you want me to hold your hand?” His smile returns, brighter than ever, “I’d appreciate it, darlin’.” “You’re insane, you know that, right?” He nods. “Only because I love you.” You lean over to lock your lips in a kiss — you don’t doubt it for a second.

You pry your eyes from his torso, forcing yourself to face the now smirking Jax. Right, his clothes!

You hold out the pile to him, “Did you put your clothes in the hamper?”

He accepts them and murmurs ‘thanks’ before he responds to your question. “Yeah, just like you said.”

“Okay,” you fight off the urge to look down at his ribcage. He kept it. “I’ll see you in the morning. Goodnight Jax.”

Spinning on your heels, you scurry out the room before you do something you’ll regret later.

💀💀💀💀💀

“Mommy! Come see!”

S/N and Abel’s laughter sounds from the living room. Saturday mornings have always been your favorite. Sleeping in is always a winner in your books, a vital part of any Saturday routine, and once you’re up, B/N takes S/N out of the house whilst you prepare breakfast. Last weekend was S/N’s first Saturday away from B/N and he was miserable. This Saturday is different.

“Mommy?” More laughter sounds, “You will miss it!”

Lowering the heat, you abandon your cooking and make your way over to the living room. A slouched Jax is taking up most of the three-seater with S/N and Abel on either side of him, all three pairs of eyes fixed on the television screen.

“What’s got you laughing so much, ace?” You take a seat on the armrest and press a kiss to the top of your son’s head. “Beaky Buzzard?”

“Yeah.” He looks up at you, “Are you coming to sit with us?”

“No, Mommy’s got to make breakfast.”

You’d like nothing more than to stick around and watch cartoons with them but there’s breakfast to prepare. When you walk back into the kitchen, you discover your phone vibrating on the counter and you just know it’s B/N. It’s his fifth attempt in the last half-hour, probably looking to speak to S/N, but that just isn’t a good idea. Not when Jax is in the house. You’re being deceitful to both parties, but the timing just isn’t right.

B/N would lose it if he found out about Jax’s regular visits, and you don’t know how Jax would react to B/N’s existence in your life and the role he plays in your son’s life. It would ruin a perfectly good morning. The day got off to a good start with the news of the sale of your childhood home, and your son’s mood is the best it’s been all week. Why would you even think to ruin it by starting trouble with B/N?

It’s not worth it. You’ll just have to come up with a story to tell him later.

“Breakfast is served!”

The boys come barreling in and take their places at the breakfast table. You assist the two youngest boys to plate up their food before you plate up for yourself. Everyone digs into the food, and the compliments you receive are a definite boost for the ego. You listen intently as S/N and Abel excitedly recount the Looney Tune episode they’d watched earlier and S/N’s beside himself with laughter.

The happy moment is disrupted by the unwelcomed vibration of your phone on the counter.

“Is that Daddy calling?”

Shit! You wince at the name ‘Daddy’. It’s what S/N always calls B/N but somehow, it doesn’t feel right when Jax’s sitting across the table from him.

“Mommy?”

“Yeah, ace?” you look over to him, very aware of Jax’s eyes burning into the back of your head.

“Is that Daddy calling?”

“No, it’s probably the estate agent.” It’s not a convincing lie, but you’re caught off guard and can’t come up with something better. “She’s calling about the house.”

“When is Daddy calling?”

“Probably later.” You hate that you’re being so dismissive. “We’ll call him after Abel and Jax leave, okay?”

He looks like he might ask another question, maybe press for a better answer, but he resumes eating his food. You avoid Jax’s eyes for the remainder of breakfast. He helps you clear the table and load the dishwasher in painful silence. Once Jax has helped you load the dishes, he leaves you alone in the kitchen. Can the morning get any worse? Apparently, it can. You unlock your phone to find multiple texts from an irate B/N.

He didn’t take kindly to you ignoring all ten of his calls. Shit. You’re on the verge of tears when Jax saunters into the kitchen.

“Abel and I are leaving.”

You nod, unsure of how to respond. “You’ll ride on your bike with Abel?”

“No. Ratboy’s waiting out front with the van.”

“Ratboy?”

“The new prospect.”

“And will we see Abel tomorrow?”

His impassive expression says it all. Your gut twists with anxiety at the thought of not seeing Jax again before you leave Charming. How do you make this right?

“Do you want to talk about it?”

He slowly shakes his head. Just then S/N and Abel sprint into the kitchen, bustling with energy. Abel hugs you goodbye before the boys run back out of the kitchen and out of the house onto the front yard.

“I’m leaving my bike here. I’ll come by to get it later.”

“Cool. Yeah, that’s fine.”

You walk Jax out, and just like he’d said, Ratboy is waiting out front in a black van. Together with S/N, you watch Jax and Abel climb into the van and drive off.

“Can we call Daddy now?”

“Yeah, let’s go,” you lift him up and carry him towards the house. “Did you have a good time with Abel?”

He nods his little human head, a bright grin plastered on his perfect face. Once inside the house, you dial B/N’s number but he doesn’t pick up, in fact, it seems his phone’s off. Strange.

“I think his phone’s off, ace.”

His face falls. In an effort to brighten his mood, you suggest driving over to the playground.

“When is Abel coming back to play?”

You inwardly sigh. It looks like today’ll be one long ass day.

💀💀💀💀💀

The last person you expect to find standing on the other side of your front door is B/N and yet here he is, and he looks anything but pleased with you. Oh, shit. Your heart sinks at the sight of him, the chill of fear coursing through your body, and your mouth dries.

“B/N?”

His unsettling smile causes the hairs on the back of your neck to raise. “Hi, Toots. Aren’t you going to invite me in?”

Your movement’s robot-like as you step away from the door to make way for him. He walks past you, and once inside, his eyes search around the small space.

“Are you home alone?”

You seem to have forgotten how to speak.

“Toots?”

“S/N… He’s, uh… He’s asleep.”

He murmurs a soft ‘good’ before he turns around to pull you into an embrace. For a moment, you stand frozen, your brain seized up and you feel like a foreigner in your own body.

“What’s the matter, Toots? You don’t look too happy to see me. Were you expecting someone else?”

Yes. “No.” Moving one arm at a time, you return B/N’s embrace and do your best to calm your nerves. You’ve done nothing wrong, he’s not going to hurt you, you repeat over and over until he releases you from his hold. “I just wasn’t expecting you to come all this way.”

“It’s only a five-hour flight.”

Why the fuck are you here?

As if he read your mind, he tells you. “I missed you guys so much, I thought I’d surprise you,” with a tight smile, he adds, “You’re not very good at answering my calls.”

“I’m sorry.”

B/N hauls his luggage from the porch and dumps it onto the floor before he makes his way over to the living room. You follow slowly behind him, watching as he settles onto the couch and searches for the television remote.

“C-can I get you anything?”

“Join me,” it’s an order.

You drag your feet over to the couch and take your place next to him. Casually, he slings an arm over your shoulder and forcefully pulls you into his side.

“There. Now you’re close.”

You can’t bring yourself to fake a smile. Too petrified. He presses a kiss to the side of your head and whispers into your ear to relax.

“I’m not going to hurt you.”

He’s told you that lie far too many times in the past.

“Are you enjoying being back in Charming?”

You nod, the words caught in your throat.

“What are you? Mute? Use your fucking words, Toots.”

“It’s good to be back.” Your voice is shaky, barely recognizable. “I missed it here”

His fingers start stroking up and down your upper arm. “Good.”

Your eyes fix on the blank television screen in front of you.

“Is he here? Is he hiding in one of the rooms?”

“Who?”

“Your white trash biker ex!”

You jump up, surprised by him raising his voice so suddenly. “Jax? No! Why would he be here?”

“You lying piece of shit,” he spits out, shoving you away from him, the force sending you to the ground. “I saw his bike parked out front. I’ll ask you again, is he here?”

“No, B/N,” tears fill your eyes, you know exactly what’s to follow but still, you plead, “Don’t do this here. Not now, please, baby.”

“Shut up!” He raises to his feet, towering over you, and kicks at your trembling frame. “No one’s touched you, why the fuck are you crying?”

“I’m sorry.” You swipe the tears from your cheeks. “I’m so sorry, baby. I don’t… I don’t know whose bike that is.”

“Are you cheating on me, you whore?”

Frantically, you shake your head.

“I said use your fucking words.”

You bring a trembling hand to your mouth to muffle your sobs.

“I asked you a question, you dumb bitch!”

“No. No. No.” You crawl over to him, closing the distance between you. “I’d never, baby. Never ever.”

“That doesn’t explain why a bike’s parked outside your house.”

“B/N, please,” you plead softly. “S/N’s asleep, we can do this another–”

The words are lost when he harshly grabs your face and shoves you onto your back. Both hands cover your mouth to muffle your pained cries. He’s vicious, and tonight, he’s out for blood.

“Get up, you–”

Knock, knock, knock! You’ve never been more relieved in your life. B/N shoots you a warning glare, daring you to make a move. A few moments later, the knocks sound again, a little louder this time around.

“Y/N?”

It’s Jax. You are faced with two decisions: do you call for Jax to help you or do you take your deserved punishment?

“Y/N?” he knocks louder. “Are you in there?”

You’re sobbing so much, your body’s trembling. B/N kneels beside you, placing two additional hands over the ones already covering your mouth. His additional weight pushes your head further into the hard ground, causing your head to hurt. It’s sure to leave a bruise. With a final knock, Jax gives up and some moments later, you hear his motorcycle ride off. Once he’s certain Jax’s left, B/N removes his hands.

“Why is he here at this hour?”

“I don’t know.” You gasp when he wraps his hand around your neck and applies pressure, making it difficult for you to breathe. “B/N, please…”

“You’ll regret cheating on me,” he murmurs softly before his hand connects with your cheek in a hard slap.

💀💀💀💀💀

PART FOUR

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#Jax Teller #Jax Teller x reader #Jax Teller imagine #jax teller fanfiction #jax teller x you #sons of anarchy #charlie hunnam #sons of anarchy imagine #juice ortiz #soa #charlie hunnam x reader #charlie hunnam imagine #charlie hunnam fanfiction #charlie hunnam x you #chibs telford #tig trager #bobby munson #opie winston #gemma teller #clay morrow

[dinthehottotty]

Drunk on You - Jack 'Whiskey' Daniels

Warnings: Just some smutty drabble inspired by a new toy....

A/N: I wrote this on mobile so sorry I don't have the drop down bit. Also go gentle on me, this is my first Whiskey piece....

No. No, no. No, no, no, no. Nonononononono! This... could not be happening. Mortification was creeping in. Shame was shuffling from the corner of the hotel room.

It had taken ten minutes for you to begin to realize the weight of the situation. Still you couldn't bare looking to your right. If your legs could just stop shaking, that would be great.

You were a grown woman. An adult. Always prided yourself on your own efficiency. You got the job done, and done right no matter the energy and time. You did it independently for the most part, that's why you'd been hired by Statesmen to begin with. You were an amazing spy with a nerve of steel.

There was only one thing that ever got to you. Agent Jack 'Whiskey' Daniels. What an asshole. You'd never met such a surecocked, womanizing, smug bastard man. He pissed you off so much. You never used to let his advances bother you, but somehow over the years he wiggled his way under your skin. Now a single look from him made you seeth and bristle like a wild animal.

Your pride was now wiped away like a dry erase board. Your mind slowly is beginning to gain its bearings while you tremble in a puddle of your own fluids on your hotel bed. The light of the lamp next to you is a reminder of your vulnerability.

Sparing a glance to your right, everything about you is slow and hesitant. Jack is lounging beside you comfortably, a satisfied smirk coating his face. He's got his eyes closed, his fingertips tapping the air with a song you've got no idea about. He looks almost peaceful in the warm light of the dimmed lamp. And it would be if his stupid porn 'stache wasn't tilted up in a cocky smirk.

Your stomach chooses this inopertune moment to gurgle loudly. Weird, you swore the nausea was due to the naked rodeo clown beside you. Weirder yet, he almost looked good without his yellow sunglasses and cowboy hat. Less like a want to be country music star and more like a Latin lover.

His head lolls your way and his eyes bulldoze you with his thrilled smirk. Even in the low, unflattering light his brown eyes are warm and remind you of the warm gooeyness that is sliding from between your legs. You want it to not feel good, but your so boneless from the last... fuck, you don't even know how long it's been.

"Worked yerself up an appetite, did ya, darlin'?" Your only response is to gulp and you have to look away from him. A shiver rolls through you and he chuckles.

That's the worst part of this. Not the fact that you actually caved and slept with the sleeze of man, not the fact that he was the only person you genuinely hated in regards to company. No, the worst part of this, was how wrecked he had you. Jack Daniels is singlehandedly the best lay you've had in your life and it wasn't even hate sex.

Granted you should be screaming at him to get the fuck out of your hotel room and raging that he barged in on you in the first place.

Ginger had been so polite in regards to leaving you in the room by yourself for a bit. Laughing as you called after her 'if there is an emergency, don't call me, get the boys!' And then you forgot to turn on airplane mode.

It wasn't that Statesmen couldn't afford two rooms for you both. Instead, she was your near and dear friend and missions served as your sleepovers. You'd both spend free moments giggling and gossiping about the other agents. And also your sex lives and preferences. Also, your newest toy that you hadn't gotten to try.

A tiny egg with a little tongue and suction on it. The catalyst. You'd been prepared when your eyes and ears left to give a good review only to very quickly discover just how delightful and overwhelming the little tool was.

Too aware of how Whiskey was leaning over you with a grin, you suddenly feel nervous. "Don't tell me I fucked the sass out of you, sweetheart. I do love that wicked tongue you've got." He thumbs your lower lip and you find your self holding in panting. For fucks sake it took you nearly ten minutes to stop after he'd finally rolled off you.

It's pitiful that you just let out a tiny whine, pushing weakly at his chest. It makes his grin deepen, his dimples practically shining. "Don't go soft on me now, girl."

"Need minute," you finally rasp, voice hoarse. He leans down, shocking you with a hungry pass of his mouth over yours.

You should want to fight him, but your mind feels as boneless as your body.

There is a noise. A beep of the door unlocking with the card swiped.

Ginger is back.

She still knocks, bless her heart. It's like Whiskey doesn't even notice, instead just drawing his mouth over your jaw and tasting your neck lazily. He must know. Either he thinks it's housekeeping or he just doesn't give a fuck.

"Rosé?" She calls out from the hallway by the door. "I hope I gave you enough lead time to try-" she gasps as she rounds the corner and finds you wrapped up with a man you despise. "Oh, lord! What even happened?" She averts her wide eyes and Whiskey chuckles warmly over you.

"Decommissioned," you rasp out, complete mush under the mouthing at your neck. "Sorry." Teeth appear and your vaguely aware that Whiskey is laughing with delight against you.

He lifts enough to flash a grin at Ginger.

"You hate him! What do you mean 'decommissioned'?" She throws her hands up.

"What's the racket?" Eggsy calls, strutting in with Gallahad. Both of them freeze at the sight of you practically preening under the warm body over you. "No fuckin' way," the kid demands when Whiskey jerks the blankets up around your naked form.

"Now, I don't mind the company, but if you boys want a show, I suggest you go find the HBO channel back in your respective rooms. The lady is going to need a hot meal and a nice nap before she goes anywhere." You don't even register that you're nodding along with his statement.

"No way you bagged Rosé," Eggsy demands. "She looks drugged!" The heat of a big calloused hand rolls up over your side under the sheet and you let your eyes fall shut. Ginger just shakes her head like a disappointed mother.

"Not drugged," you manage to offer. It earns you a happy purr from the smug agent above you and he rolls a hand between your legs unabashedly. Your still too sensitive and jerkily shove his hand, gasping. "Out, please," you murmur, no bite to your words as a warm mouth finds the hollow behind your ear.

Ginger quickly agrees, shuffling quickly out of the room. Eggsy, even with Gallahad's prompting tries to stick around, giving you shit until the mouth leaves your neck.

"The lady politely requested you leave. Find the door, boy." He snarls like a caged animal and it sends warmth down belly. You find yourself uncaring and unfurling beneath him as Eggsy is lead out of the room.

"Hungry," you moan, trying to glower when he goes to reposition and settle between your thighs. It earns you a cocky grin.

"Atta girl!" You don't know what you expect, but it's hardly him pulling your legs up and proping them over his shoulders while he reaches for the phone.

You both moan when he sinks into you, wettly and just as easily as before. "Fuck, feel so good, baby." And he leans over, picking up the phone and dialing. There is ringing as he cradles the phone between his shoulder and ear, rolling his hips forward. He's rewarded with the obnoxiously loud squelch that accompanies his thrusts. "What sounds good to eat?" Whiskey asks as you pant and writhe beneath him like his cock isn't stretching you beyond capacity.

"Everything," you gasp out.

"Could you send us the works? Whatever you've got on special." You can't pay attention to anything else he says, in the back of your mind your mind you know your a mess.

It's when you hear the tiny motor start that your hand is jerking down and your snatching his wrist. "Jack, no, I can't-" you rasp as you stop his hand from bringing the little egg down on your clit.

"Why not?" But it doesn't actually sound like a question and his eyes are glinting down on you.

"Is too much, hurts."

"You weren't complaining earlier."

"Overstimulated." He gives a growl, shutting the vibrator off before hauling your knees into the crook of his arms. It has you moaning unabashedly as he changes angles, stirring the pace up.

"Feels so good, oh fuck, feels good. Don't stop, please don't stop, always wanna be full, fill me up please." What kind of effect was this? You never babbled.

"What a good girl," he rumbles, "finally giving into how desperate she's been for me. Do you want to cum around me again?" He watches you falling apart beneath him, a complete wreck.

"Can't, can't cum. Felt like I was cumming the whole time that toy was on my clit. Hurts." A hand rubs down your belly, a direct path to the heaven between your legs that he's still fucking. You scramble for his wrist again but he's stronger and you let out a cry as he brushes a knuckle over your swollen and abused clit. It just makes him chuckle when you arch off the pillow below your hips.

Your so wet that it's coating your thighs and making him glide against you like your coated in oil. Everything was wet and warm.

"C'mon girl, don't tell me yet that I've won?" He rasps. There is a need that builds up at those words. An anger as you manage some kind of weak glare up at him. You fumble for him.

You intend fully on crushing his mouth against yours and devouring him in response to his quip. It seems to surprise you both when your lips move more tenderly than either of you anticipate.

Whiskey goes stiff in your arms, fingers tangled in the hair at the nape of his neck. There's a moment you think you've killed the mood but then he's sink down against you and tenderly kissing you back.

It's not unexpectedly fun and wild like the rest of this desperate affair has been. Instead, his hips roll slow and smooth, no rush or reason beyond just feeling you. The heat of him consumes you as you breathe into each other's mouths, drinking the other in and soaking in hot hands.

"Shoulda done this sooner," you manage against his mouth and feel his chuckle rumble you both.

"Offers been there," he groans. "Spend the night in my room," he pleads gently. It has you shivering.

"Okay," you sigh, mush beneath the fulfilling stretch he was giving. He could ask you to kill Eggsy here and now and you'd probably say yes. Just as long as this never ended. You were drunk on Whiskey.

#jack whiskey daniels #jack daniels #agent whiskey #kingsman #statesmen #kingsman the golden circle #smut #unedited #jack daniels x reader #whiskey #whiskey x you #whiskey x reader #agent whiskey x reader