Something very unfortunate, but my enthusiasm for columbo has made my friend, for some reason, not like him! How can they not like him? D: He's just a little guy!
honestly? i totally understand. and i run this blog.
columbo is likeable because we always see his best qualities. he does valiant work at a noble job. he's strong, he's intelligent; he's kind, he's just. he makes the right deductions and then makes sure he's right before acting upon them. he's played by peter falk. so yeah, most people want to kick back and have a beer with columbo, even (especially?) some of the people he puts in handcuffs.
but for a second, wash columbo of his charm, kindness, and intellect: the man is an evil fucking bastard. he is naturally annoying--one of his superpowers, which he knows and exploits. he is calculating, devious, manipulative. his overly polite, ingratiating manner wears very thin very quickly, doubly so if he's choosing to play especially dumb. he's a sadistic, disgusting, deceptive little troll who drops by unannounced and practically forces his way into your house, occupying it when it seems like he doesn't even need to be there, flaunting his authority. on top of it all he insists on billowing that cheap, stinking cigar smoke in your face, dropping ashes everywhere while smiling so smugly, so condescendingly, that you want to wring his little neck, his mumbling voice dripping with feigned apology all the while. he asks if you can use your phone, but not really, because he's actually telling you he's using it as he picks it up and makes a call before you can even open your mouth.
through it all, he outright implies that you or someone you love is a homicidal maniac.
then he fucking breaks your television. suddenly, mrs. peck becomes very sympathetic
now i'll ask you to imagine that, on top of all the aforementioned, columbo was, even once, wrong about who the killer was. i am asking you to sit there and imagine the most endearing waterboarding session you can. imagine subjecting an innocent human being to a punishment so cruel and unusual. imagine, as peter falk himself described, that a bunch of little ducks are nibbling at you, pecking at you in a hellish, promethean bid to get you to finally scream to the heavens in confession for your crime.
columbo is eminently lovable, but that love hinges entirely on the fact that he's always right. because if he isn't, he's worse than merely annoying--he's evil.
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Spanish:
Scp-1381 o como el se hace llamar “Nill” es un humanoide con la particular habilidad de que cualquier persona en un radio de 5 metros, sienta una gran curiosidad con verle el rostro, si la víctima cae en esto va a caer perdidamente enamorada de SCP-1381 al punto de una enfermiza obsesión. Si 1381 se aburre de la víctima o ya consiguió lo que quiso de esta, una simple beso bastará para asesinar a su víctima (algo similar como el toque de SCP-049).
Cualquiera que haya estado en con tan yo con Nill y a sobrevivido (ya sea separándolo de la entidad o que esté lo deje vivir) sentirá una gran desesperación por volver con SCP-1381, luego de cierto tiempo en insolación volverá a la normalidad; aunque sin poder experimentar cariño por otra persona que no sea Nill. Las personas que han visto su rostro siempre lo van a describir como: “La criatura más bella en el mundo”
A pesar de estas cualidades, Nill es alguien egocéntrico, egoísta, avaricioso y manipulador. Siempre intentará endulzarte a que le mires el rostro o que directamente lo adores, pocas veces se le a visto siendo genuinamente amistoso con alguien y en si es alguien bastante difícil de tratar.
Se conoce que a vivido desde la época victoriana, acerca de su modus operandi en ese entonces y algunas vivencias que tuvo en el pasado, pero no habla más allá de su origen o si es que conoce a otro SCP (mencionó muy por encima que sabe de la existencia de SCP-035 por haber vivido ambos por esa época).
Coopera muy poco y es común verlo haciéndose el que sabe más solo para salir con un “Si me liberas, te lo digo” en si: odia estar contenido y es normal verlo intentando atraer a alguien para poder escapar.
-No le agrada ser llamado por el número que le asignaron; aunque igual la Fundación ignora esto.
-Cuando lo atraparon se le fue confiscado un montón de joyería que este llevaba encima.
-Es muy raro verlo perder el temperamento, siempre mantendrá una imagen limpia e impecable.
-Si llegas a insultar su imagen es común que actúe pasivo agresivo contigo.
English:
SCP-1381, or as he calls himself, "Nill", is an humanoid witch particular ability manages to attract anyone within a 5-meter radius, generating curiosity on the person. If the victim falls for this effect, they will fall head over heels in love with SCP-1381 to the point of transforming it into an unhealthy obsession. If SCP-1381 gets bored with the victim, or has already gotten what it wanted from the victim, a simple kiss will suffice to kill his victim (similar to SCP-049's touch).
Anyone who has had contact with Nill and survived (whether separating them from the entity or him letting them live) will feel desperation to return to SCP-1381, after some time in heatstroke, he will return to normal; without being able to experience affection for anyone other than Nill.
People who have seen his face describe him as: "The most beautiful creature in the world." Despite these qualities, Nill is self-centered, selfish, greedy, and manipulative. He will always try to convince you into looking at his face or directly adore him. He has rarely been seen being genuinely friendly with someone, and he is someone quite difficult to deal with.
It's known that he has lived since Victorian times, about his work form at that time and some experiences he had in the past, but he doesn't speak about his origin or if he does know another SCP (he mentioned that he knows of the existence of SCP-035 for having both lived around that time).
He's very uncooperative and it is common to see him pretending to be the smart one just to come out with "If you free me, I'll tell you", in fact: he doesn't like being contained and it's normal to see him from time to time trying to attract someone to escape.
— He don't like being called by the number assigned to; the Foundation ignores this anyway.
— When he got caught, a lot of jewelry he was wearing was confiscated.
— It's very rare to see him lose his temper, he will always maintain a clean and impeccable image.
— If you come to insult his image, it's common for him to act passive aggressive towards you.
Thanks to one of my friends for helping me traducing this 💕
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