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#HE’S JUST PERFECT OK <3 <3 <3
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i dig his earnest soul & neglected middle child vibes. he's so Charming and for what reason!
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aurorangen · 14 days
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The Mini Vinnys
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arsenicflame · 5 months
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every time I try to give Sam some character flaws a little voice says 'but doesn't Izzy deserve a pretty, perfect boyfriend?' and you know what? he does <3
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pepperpixel · 7 months
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Rune factory 5 art!!!! Cuz I’ve been playin it a lot recently! And I finally got married to Lucas so I wanted to draw some stuff of him!! Cuz I love him. He is a lil weirdo god whomst I cherish and adore..
#rune factory#rune factory 5#rf5#lucas#alice#rf5 lucas#rf5 alice#doodles#my characters name is Perez but considering the extent of customization is what outfit do u wanna wear I’ll use her canon name lol#anyone yeah… at first I was like oh god!!!! how am I ever gonna pic between murakumo Reinhardt and lucas?!?!? theyre all so good!!!#and then I got enough hearts to date Lucas. and I completely fucking forgot about the other guys ghgh#LUCAS IS SO CUTE… I LOVE HIM#1 I love him. 2 he’s beautiful. 3 the narrative of two amnesiacs falling in love is incredible to me#it’s like fucking. soulmates fate destiny shit. it’s great#3 the whole. him being an actual literal fucking god thing is. both funny and hot…. like yess babe. work that divine power ghgh#4 he’s HILARIOUS. AND SO CUTE. AND SWEET. AND ENDEARING#I couldn’t help it… I just got sucked in.. ALSO HES OLD AND WEARS GLASSES AND JUST. idk… he’s perfect ok. everything about him#the other guys didn’t stand a chance#after I met ludmilla I also rlly seriously was considering her too! like she’s SO FUCKING. I love ludmilla. she stole my heart instantly#but like!!! lucas just came out on top. I trusted my gut and my gut said this weirdo..#also#in regards to Fionna and cake. I still haven’t watched it all yet ghg#I’ve watched a few episodes tho! and wow.. I was way off a my thoughts on Simon mental state lmao. I was literally like that girl in the#2nd episode. I’m sorry for misjudging ur issues so badly simon. u still have issues but they were not what I thought they were!!! damn..#anyway im gonna get around to watching the other eps soon! promise!#till then tho… have completely self indulgent rune factory 5 art of me swooning over lucas lmao#w 2 diff versions of the last picture cuz! I couldn’t decide which I liked better! indecision is my curse ghgh
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comradekatara · 1 year
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ppl who want sokka and suki to break up baffle me. they make each other so happy. sokka is miserable most of the time, but the second they get suki back from the boiling rock he is so happy, just to be near her. they work so well together. they make each other laugh, they have great chemistry, they save each other, support each other, get each other; they just fit. i get that conflict makes for good stories, and that they are a very uncomplicated couple. but sokka is such a tortured soul. why would you take away the one straightforwardly good thing he has in his life? why can’t we just let them have this one perfect happiness?
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nulltune · 9 months
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super self indulgent q but i'm curious!!! Pwease tell me who ur muse's fav sanrio character would be.!!!! (this Will affect my thoughts on them as a person btw. /j) u can tell me who ur fav too if u'd like! 🫶
our resident moon lady would say she has no preference </3 as she is with everything </3 but ! as long as it's cute, she'd most likely like em + bonus points if they're (in hakuno's words) fluffy wuffy
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finnpeach · 1 year
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Sand and Dust - Trigun Stampede
Yeah... I don't have any words for this one really. Vash has been living rent-free in my head and I need to get all my ideas out before I forget them, so please enjoy this hiding/allergy scene that definitely should've happened but unfortunately didn't. Set between episode 4 and episode 5. I love this little family and Vash duh <3 Comments and tags and feedback are always loved and appreciated as well ☺️
After their escape from the worm, the band of journalists and outlaws stop at an desecrated shanty town to search for fuel and supplies. It's small, with only a few buildings standing as proof that people ever lived here. The place looks like something out of a horror movie. 
Meryl is the only one who wants to keep going. Something about this place doesn't feel right to her. “The radar says there’s a populated outpost fifty miles from here. We shouldn’t stop here, it looks abandoned.” 
“I’d like to stretch my legs,” Roberto says, one of the first to hop out of the vehicle. Wolfwood and Vash follow shortly after. “And it looks like it’s three to one, newbie.“
“We won’t be here for long,” Vash reconciles gently, opening Meryl’s door for her. “It’ll be better to search here first, in case the next outpost isn’t welcoming.” 
Meryl grumbles something about wanting to go one day without getting shot at or eaten by something before she hops out of the car, following behind Roberto. 
“Vash and I will search the shops for supplies. Roberto, you and the kid find some fuel for the car,” Wolfwood says as he lights another cigarette, his cross weighted across his back. “Meet back here in forty five minutes.”
The two groups split up and head in opposite directions. Roberto and Meryl walk towards what looks like a service station while Wolfwood and Vash search a dilapidated store for bullets and supplies.
“This place looks like it’s been abandoned for years,” Wolfwood says as they saunter inside. Golden flecks of dust dance through the air, like shimmery diamonds. Just the sight makes Vash’s nose itch.
Wolfwood kicks over a box and rummages through the contents. “Wonder what happened.”
“There’s no plant here… but it doesn’t seem like there ever was one to begin with. Maybe  they just couldn’t keep supplying the town.” Vash looks around the store. The windows are shattered, the shelves toppled over in a heap. The place has been ransacked, either by bandits or something else.
He starts to investigate for any information or signs of life while Wolfwood kicks another box over. Vash's gaze lands on deep, long scratch marks on the floor that lead out the door. They’re about a meter long and are cut deep into the wood.
“Was someone dragged out of here…?” It doesn’t look like an animal made this. He looks closer at the walls. There’s smatterings of blood near the baseboards and pieces of the wallpaper have been ripped apart. More signs of struggle.
Suddenly, the earth begins to vibrate, deep and slow. Vash freezes as the walls begin to shake and the broken glass on the floor starts to chatter. Dust billows off the tops of the shelves in waves. 
Vash slides quickly over to the broken door and presses against the wall, peering outside. Something is here.
“Wolfwood,” he hisses, searching for him in the store. The undertaker appears silently beside him, like a ghost, and Vash nearly yelps in fright at the surprise.
“We’re being hunted.” Wolfwood’s breath is low and quiet. “Another worm, or something of the same size. See the sand over there?” He points to the enormous, sharp ridges rising like waves at the edge of the town. 
Vash gasps when he realises where it's crawling to. “It’s heading for Meryl and Roberto—“ He moves to lunge towards the door, but Wolfwood is quicker and shoves him roughly against the wall, his hand pressed tightly to Vash’s chest.
“Idiot! Do you want to get swallowed up again? If they hide and keep quiet, it won’t know they’re there. We just have to wait it out.” 
Vash heaves an irritated sigh but relents. Wolfwood is right. The worm might know they’re here, but as long as they stay put, it should pass on. He tries not to imagine the poor human who made those scratch marks on the floor, a helpless victim for the worm’s appetite. 
They wait, pressed against the wall as the sand starts to shift towards the store rather than the service station. Even though it's now headed for them, Vash feels hope blossom in his chest at the fact that the worm has changed course from Meryl and Roberto. He shuts his eyes and sniffles, eager to get out of this dusty store. 
The earth rumbles again, sending sheets of dust and sand off the shelves again. The aftermath hangs suspended in the air directly around Wolfwood and Vash, surrounding them like a fog.
Vash rubs at his nose. The itch that blossomed in his nose when they walked into the store has become more persistent, rooted. His eyes are starting to water and he can feel his throat becoming tight as the dust enters his sinuses. This is not a good time for his allergies to act up. He tries not to breathe, but that just makes the itch worse and makes his nose start to run. The rumbling gets deeper as the worm approaches. It feels like there’s a tingling, burning fire in his sinuses. He presses his head back against the wall, breath catching in his chest as the itch becomes too much to hold back.
“Hih… hh… hihhh…!” His eyes slip shut as he hitches, eyebrows pinching together in sneezy irritation. He’s going to—!
“H’NDKT!” Suddenly, there’s a warm hand pressed against his nose, pinching his nostrils shut and forcing him to stifle. He releases a shaky breath and opens his teary eyes to see Wolfwood staring daggers at him.
Don’t. You. Dare. He seems to say with his gaze. Wolfwood's hand is still clasped around Vash’s nose.
The worm rumbles past them, the vibrations growing lighter as it moves on. 
Now that the imminent danger is out of the way, Wolfwood releases Vash and grabs him by the collar of his jacket, pulling him up so that Vash is just dangling in the air by Wolfwood's fists. He chokes in surprise and grips his wrists.
“You dumbass! You’re going to get us killed!“ He hisses, pushing Vash back against the wall. 
“S-sorryhh… ihht’s the duhh.. duhhst…- heh! H’IGKT’uh! Hih’IGKTsh!
Wolfwood has dropped his grip on Vash’s collar to press his hand around the blonde’s nose again and catch the two sneezes. They both freeze as the rumbling of the earth comes to a sudden halt. They've been heard.
They’re chest to chest now, silent. The only sounds Vash can hear are their heartbeats pounding rhythmically in their chests, waiting for the inevitable.
In an instant, the worm races back in their direction again and the earthquakes resume in greater intensity.
Wolfgang presses him so tight against the wall that Vash can barely breathe. They need to stay silent. He can only drink in small sips of air around his hand, which is probably for the best because every breath just ignites the itch deeper in his sinuses. He rubs his nose against Wolfgang’s hand, desperate for relief. He’s so itchy. He has to… he’s going to—
“Vash—” Wolfgang stutters as he watches Vash’s features twist again. This is a battle that Vash is going to lose.
“H’ihTSSHHhiew!” Vash sneezes loudly against Wolfgang’s hand, unable to hold the sneeze back despite the support. Wolfgang curses under his breath as the spray coats his hand and pulls his hand back, readying his cross. The rumbling of the earth intensifies.
The itch has multiplied in his nose, flecks of dust and sand pressing themselves deeper into his sensitive nostrils. He sneezes again, and again, and again.
“H’TSCHhh! H’ITSCHh’tssh! Hh-ih… H’aHTSSCHhh’ue!”
“You absolute dipshit!” Wolfwood shouts and punches him in the chest. Vash grunts against the blow and leans against the wall. Any remaining glass on the window shatters as the worm screams beneath the sand.
Wolfwood grabs his machine gun cross and rips off the fabric, twisting the cross across his shoulders. He takes aim as the worm peaks above the sand with a roar. The building shakes and the ground starts to give way beneath them.
“Run!” Wolfwood kicks Vash in the ass out the door, sending him falling on his face and into the sand. He sneezes again but scrambles to his feet as the worm rams its enormous neck into the store.
Wolfwood fires off a round at the giant beast’s head, leaping towards solid ground before racing after Vash. His bullets make direct contact and penetrate the beast's hide. The worm roars and sinks back into the sand, bloodied and angry. The earth shakes again.
“If we survive, I’m going to kill you!” Wolfwood smacks the back of Vash’s head as they near the vehicle. Roberto and Meryl are already in the front seat, searching for them.
“Drive!” They both shout as they tumble into the backseat. Without missing a beat, Meryl shoots the car forward and they take off. 
Vash is in the middle of a sneezing fit as they drive away from the town, holding his head in his hands. "H'idTSHh! Heh... H'ipTSHhhiew! Hih-hih-hh..! H'ITSSHhhh'ue! Snfff..."
He takes a deep breath and slumps against the seat, exhausted, but not before one final, "Huh.. hahktschh..." It's no more than a release of air and is a testament to how tired he is. He snuffles again and scrunches up his nose as the itch subsides.
"Enough! Will you shut up already!" Wolfwood snaps, pressing his body tight against the car door. He looks like a sibling who wants to do nothing more than to get away from his younger, annoying brother. Anger rolls off of him in fiery, unrelenting waves.
In the rearview mirror, Meryl watches as the general store sinks into the sand and the worm rises above again, its cries splitting the sky. It decides not to follow them, luckily.
“Jeez. No wonder that town is abandoned,” she says, turning on the radio. “I told you guys we shouldn’t have stopped there. We could’ve been swallowed up again!”
“Blame needle-noggin over here,” Wolfwood mutters, pressing a cigarette to his lips. He casts a glare at Vash out of the corner of his eye, who is pawing at his irritated nose.
“I told you I’m.. I-hh.. h’ITSHHiew!” He sneezes again, the spray catching Wolfwood’s thigh. “Sndff! I told you I’mb sorry!” 
“I don’t care! And would it kill you to cover your mouth?!” Wolfwood punches Vash’s arm and turns to glare out the window, mumbling something about how disgusting Vash is and how he wishes he’d left him with the worm. Vash just smiles and rubs at his arm, chuckling sheepishly.
“Hey, boys, no fighting. Be nice,” Meryl chides, angling the rearview mirror to look at both of them. 
Vash gives her a shy smile and waves, his nose a bright rosey pink. Wolfwood glares at her reflection and flips her off before turning his attention out the window again. She laughs, and turns up the radio as they race across the dunes of sand.
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ssreeder · 4 months
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taichouu · 1 year
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A redraw + a self indulgent boobie action to destress .. He is quite handsome, I kept getting distracted.
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fishnchip3011 · 1 month
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everytime i actually open up sdv to play i get flashbanged with sebastian's white ass sprites because i always forget not everyone sees him as wasian💔 my current hc for him is half chinese (liable to change... but ik for sure he's half asian) but he is Not bilingual he can't rly speak or write the other language he can only understand it when listening but even then he's not very fluent LOL this is just turning into a sebastian hc post might as well go full out. to me sebastian Does have relationship experience but has been thru shitty ones in the past which is part of the reason why he's so pessimistic & brooding </3 and he'd hook up with ppl in zuzu city for a night for a while but it just made him feel shittier so he's stopped since ☝️ also people make him out to be way cooler than he actually is like yea sure he's kinda cool but he's also a Massive Loser especially when he tells you how he hates "seasonal fads" like pumpkin spice and that one line about the potluck soup where he's like "Why ruin the potluck? Hmm... I guess some people feel liberated when the rigid structures of society break down a little. Maybe I'm weird.” WHO ASKED😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 his ass also can NOT cook he can make spaghetti but it's mid. he probably has low ass stamina and yeah he's tall and lanky (rn i see him as around 5'9-5'10) but you could snap him in half over your knee. when he's in an actually healthy relationship he gets really flustered over certain romantic gestures cuz he's not used to feeling valued or being considered someone's #1. he picks up on little things and does acts of service but i also think he can be really callous and insensitive at times because while he can be pretty perceptive he is also Very Emotionally Stunted. he unlearns lots of unhealthy behaviors & mindsets with the help of his partner & family & friends ^__^
#i almost popped a vein trying not to mention rowan in all of this so this post is more. consumable i guess#but rowan to me is soooooo perfect for him to me because rowan's whole thing is empathy and warmth#where it's a strength but also a weakness for him because he's also a chronic people pleaser and a doormat#out of the need he feels to make people feel valued which is a good thing but not when its to the point of self negligence#rowan gives rly good advice but overburdens himself cuz he feels responsible for ppl&doesnt give himself the same treatment he gives others#when he's with sebastian he helps him feel valued and sebastian learns to trust people more and not to immediately assume the worst of ppl#and seb is sooooooo perfect for rowan bc seb is vocal about what he dislikes and when hes not happy w something/one#and is good at setting boundaries whereas rowan is Not. he helps rowan learn how to say no to ppl and be more assertive#& think abt his own feelings more! they both help e/o vocalize their feelings#for rowan its vocalizing his opinions more and valuing himself more & for seb its vocalizing more for the sake of better communication#w other ppl so he can establish better trust & relations w ppl. and stop being so closed off/unapproachable LOL#their differences match up well but it also leads to arguments/tension cuz seb doesnt communicate and resorts to avoidance#and rowan is too pliant sometimes to the point where it hurts not just himself but the ppl around him including seb#also fun fact rowan is the type to cry when he gets really angry/upset & when seb resorts to avoidance instead of reassurance#(which is what rowan wants) rowan sometimes ends up catastrophizing & also bottles up his emotions similarly to seb#they always reconcile in the end tho even if it takes a while </3 they r both learning ok!!!!!!!!#not perfect to the point where they dont argue bc thats Impossible but they suit each other well. they r good for each other qwq#eon babbles#stardew valley#farmer rowan#<- i talk about him in tags. hehehe
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feline-evil · 2 months
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Blinks cutely. I finally finished my MTL OC that i've had brewing in my head for a while. Lineart was done by my beloved @subsequentibis who really helped me out while i can't draw too much or often!!! <3 Transcript of text AND a lil height ref below!!
JAX He/Him 32 5ft 7 Ex-bassist for a goth-rock band. Gay trans man. Running solely on caffeine and alcohol. Over-anxious and stressed. Needs a month long sleep and so many vitamin supplements..... Smells bad. Has a lip scar from a piercing getting torn out at a rowdy show. Height/scale ref feat a redraw of Nathan in my style teehee. (Nathan is supposed to be like 6ft 5 here, that's my headcanon height for him. And yeah, yes, i did make Jax up to ship w him bc its fuuuuuuun :3 )
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boxwinebaddie · 2 months
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BLUE HAIR RAVENSTAN IM PTERODACTYL SCREECHING
*rm!clyde autism vc* erm, actually! its pterodactylus!~
but, no, fr. he is the moment, the movement!!!!
and everyone thinks it's because he's in his cool boy, cool blue, blue rad(s)berry, bad boy era, when in reality he's in his imy ky sad boi era.
like after they fought when the call girl news came out, which, tbh, i think ended with kyle about to call ravenstan 'stan' but then he stopped himself at the last second and yelled out, "no, fuck that! you don't Deserve to have his name! my stan would NEVER do this to me!
....fuck you, raven."
which...OOOOOOOOF. when stan and kyle know who each other are and don't call each other by their actual first names...its really bad. like actually, at the end of The Kyle Can't Say I Love You Fight where jersey is begging ravenstan to stay, stan gives him one last chance and is like "tell me you love me." and kyle is like "w-what?" and stan grabs kyle's hand, looks deep into his eyes, bearing his heart and is like "tell me you love me and i'll stay." n kyle tries and tries and tries
...but he Can't :(
so stan wipes his eyes, laughs a sad little laugh, drops kyle's hand, picks up his black jansport backpack and in The Voice just goes
"adios, jersey."
and SLAMS! the door behind him.
now, one of my favorite things about writing rm is a lot of stuff seems really cute and coy on the surface, but it's actually kind of insidious. or even that something as harmless/innocuous as a nickname might carry the weight of the world across a mere six letters. see, because when ravenstan called his kyle 'jersey' at the that first crimson dawn concert when he chose kyle as his victim, as we all now know, stan knew exactly who kyle was, but pretended not know, and what's more? stan gave kyle a cute little nickname...
jersey.
cute, light, bouncy. on the nose, where blush ran like red snow across that valley of freckles and melted our college student ice king into glassless puddle at the mere utterance of that word from raven's lips. not too much to think about there. seems like a simple thing, calling the boy you like a funny name, to tease him or make him feel special.
to everyone but stanley marsh in that moment, calling kyle jersey and continuing to call him jersey wasn't something he did to be cheeky, it was strategic...it was personal. because it was much easier for stanley marsh to call his precious long lost kyle broflovski jersey...
...than kyle.
it's probably not as obvious as i think it is when i'm writing it in, but if you look closely in rm, you might notice that ravenstan almost exclusively calls kyle jersey, except for a couple really tender moments, or by accident. bc he's not supposed to use kyle's name/
one, it's just too hard, because saying kyle's name invokes way too much raw emotion in him, like the raven voice drops, he starts doing the stan voice, his eyes get shiny, it's half a sob, half a prayer, there's an overwhelming urge to hold him...like it's too obvious. kyle can't say ily and stan is not supposed to say kyle's name.
so he created jersey as a buffer, a fail safe. he created the jersey nickname to create distance between himself and kyle, so that he could keep his head on his shoulders and not go off book.
which is not to say that later on they don't use raven/crow and jersey/yersey when they're being funny/feeling fond, but if kyle calls stan raven in the shrewd deadpan voice or raven calls kyle jersey in the aloof, cool boy raven voice....THEY ARE FIGHTING!!! which...ya.
anyways, speaking of ravenstan's blue hair ( the closest approximate of which i think is this picsart monstrosity i edited [ which idk who drew this but all the credit in the world to them like thats my son ], i also did a blonde one ) after the fight, i just know stan was spiraling super hard, a bottle of chase azul tequila and a bottle of blue arctic fox hair in the other, washing his face w/ his tears, scream singing to abba on vinyl ( jersey loves abba, stan gave him a lot of shit for it growin up, their first dance at sadie hawkins was also an abba song )
and just boarded the plane the very next day with blue ass hands and blue ass hair...also pls note that when stan made the seating arrangements, it was well before they had that fight, so stan put himself next to kyle ( and its a small private plane so the rows only have two seats, i think ) and its a mess like...Roll Clip!
jers: "what? wouldnt'ya ratha sit next to ya girlfirend? here, i'll mov-"
raven: "kyle, you've been mentally preparing yourself to sit in this particular seat for weeks. you begged me to show you the layout of the plane so you could practice. you're not moving. plus, she has a window seat and you hate the window seat. i made sure you were sitting in the aisle seat so you could get up, so you don't feel trapped."
jersey, trying not to be rizzed: "and yet here i am...Trapped. With. You."
jersey, scoffing: "wow. blue? really?"
raven: "thought you'd be pleased, considering it's your favorite color"
jersey: "not anymore."
ravenstan, being a little shit: "oh, yeah? what's it now. whatever it is, i'll change it. i brought color oops just in case." ;)
jersey, rolling his eyes: "y'know, i actually don't like any colors at the moment. hate 'em all! guess you'll have to shave ya head." <3
raven: "no worries. gq magazine says i have the bone structure for it."
aAAAAAASASASAAAAA!!!!! they are being so cunty like boys relax oh my goddddddd...speaking of being relaxed. kyle is not that. kyle does not like planes, reads the emergency card 100 times, makes them check all the systems like 100 times and is particularly frightened by taking off the runway/turbulence so he actually...grabs stans hand by accident, breathing really and stan just squeezes his palm reassuringly and strokes the arch of jersey's knuckles with his thumb before they break away and kyle pretends like it never happened.
stan also...falls asleep on kyle's shoulder for like 70% of the flight, like kyle is just doing something dorky like the sudoku puzzle or reading hemmingway and stan's beautiful freshly blue chai-scented head plops on kyle's shoulder, sleeping soundly. and i shit you not kyle is scared to move that entire flight, a baby looks like its gonna start crying and kyle gives it The Glare and it swallows that sound back up. he's fighting demons and the demons are wanting to gaze longingly at your sleepy ex-sbf and kiss him on the forehead aaaAAAAAAA.
but ya! i love you manic blue hair stan! my hero! my zero!
-uncle nina, dyed hair idiot boy stan agenda
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rexscanonwife · 2 months
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For familial f/o day, organized by my love @cherry-bomb-ships I didn't have much prepared other than queueing a few posts, so I decided to share a couple wips from the lyric video I'm working on instead! ^ 0 ^ 💖💖
The first one is of Kep doing some training on the ship as Brea supervises, I imagine while they're in hyperspace he trains with the little ball thing a lot since he has a lot of work to do in order to hone his Force connection! And the second ofc is the two of them catching a little snooze, probably on an away mission.
It's definitely a lot easier for Kepler to fall asleep when Brea's around because he feels a lot safer 🥺💖
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todayisafridaynight · 3 months
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ik i just beat infinite wealth but i also just remembered aoki got new lines and i need to hear his eng dub delivery NOW
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jrueships · 5 months
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Do you think Josh went to Stef's big birthday bash? I didn't see him in any photos... maybe it was too fancy for him to get invited??
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damn, i guess josh didn't care 😭 LMFAO
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tbh tho.. i would not either.. if i saw this.. my number one conspirer. Yep, going right back through that door once i see that. Clearly, im intruding on family activities, ill be in the car waiting for u like a dog LOL
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hes including himself in this
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i love how trev looks so done with him, his brother's eldest sister queen syndrome 😭. Does that cake have fondant on it ??
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of COURSE he wants that giant dumpster of a car, of COURSE. Let's calm down, veruca salt
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girlcrushau · 1 month
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#me? about to use tumblr as a diary again? in 2024? unfortunately:/#but here have a waterfall i saw on a hike last week as payment#i am sO tired and exhausted emotionally after dating#there's this guy that i fr thought was going to last and be around for a long time. we spent like every moment together that we could for 2#months straight and if we werent physicaly together we were texting or calling or on ft . just every part of our day had the other in it#not once did i ever feel unwanted undesired or uncared for. not once did i feel that i wasnt sure of his intentions. i felt safer with him#in those 2 months than i ever did with any one else i could think to compare to.#until one day he just didnt think it important to communicate any more. after 3 days of nearly nothing .. hardly any talking . i asked if#he was ok if we were ok. what was going on in his head. he said some ive just been with my buddies and family and havent been on my phone#and just. immediately thats heartbreak yanno. thats :// thats what they say when theres a new girl. but there'd never been a reason to think#there was another girl so i was like ok we're gonna trust bc this dude has been So good in every way. so i said imy but i understand. enjoy#your time with your buddies and with your fam -- i cant wait to hear about it (and hold you)#and i havent heard from him in the 3 weeks since. just randomly#so last night#i send the dreaded 'i miss you' text.#i dont expect to hear back and i accept the hurt that will come with that and the confusion that i've felt settles deeper into my heart#until this afternoon i hop on ig and see a hard launch that was posted an hour after my text was sent#that shit kinda hurt different. but also sent me into a bit of a delirious state where all i could do is laugh bc are you for fucking real#did she see my message? i know it. bc i know him and i know that he wouldnt hide anything from the person he's giving his heart#and his softness to. i can almost imagine how he showed her and promised her theres nothing to worry about#and there really isnt anything to worry about because he genuinely is the type to give his all to the relationship he's in#which feels silly to say after what happened w us. like no there wasnt a title ever#it sucks to call it a situationship because a month ago we were laughing in bed together about how we could never bc we were all in.#just the timing of the hard launch makes me giggle. did my text push them to have a conversation about what they are. was she really the#reason that he went away on me.#im trying not to blame myself . trying not to think about the phone calls i didnt answer. about what i could have done differently. trying#not to think about where we would be if i didnt let my anxieties hold me back. if i wasnt scared about what he'd think of the parts of me#that i keep hidden just a little bit longer than the rest.#and at the same time im trying not to put him on a pedestal. but that pedestal is just where i wholeheartedly believe he belongs#he set the bar for me. he set the standard. i was never too much. i was never too little. he made me feel perfect just as i am
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