#HERE BB I WROTE U A TINY SOMETHING

[juicycoutureheaux]

Hey yall! It’s been a minute since I posted on Tumblr! I just want to let you know my series: When it’s over is alive and well on Ao3. I stopped posting chapter updates on here because I felt like I was clogging up the tags.

This prompt was inspired by an AI chat prompt weirdly enough. (So if you’re reading this and you made the chat please message me so I can tag u bb!)

Anyway here’s a product of me being sleep deprived and literally just being mushy in general. I seriously wrote this last night before I went to bed and it hasn’t been edited. I may go back and edit, I just figured releasing this fic into the wild wasn’t the worst thing I could do.

This is a fluffy kind of OOC fic for Chris Redfield. I hope y’all enjoy

“Late night feeling”

A Chris Redfield x reader fic

Tags: fluff, migraines mentions of death, intimate but platonic relationships, younger woman X older man dynamic

You were resting after a rough deployment. You had made it back to the BSAA barracks and returned to your small room that had just enough space for your twin size bed, a desk and some shelving.

You had made the space work to the best of your advantage; free housing meant you had to get creative but you managed to make your small room as welcoming as possible.

The other soldiers were used to the barebones when it came to accommodations, and usually you didn’t mind when you were out on deployment, but when you were stateside you made sure to have all the comforts you could fit in the tiny room.

Pretty soon, you were popular in your unit for having just about anything. Did somebody have a headache from the dry air? You had a humidifier. Somebody needed some extra toiletries but didn't want to leave the building? You always had spare supplies. Cold medicine? You had it.

Pretty soon you were known as “mom” despite being on the younger side. It made you proud, because your position was technically as a medic, and it meant more to you that you could care for your teams stateside as well.

You were studying the popcorn ceiling in the small room for the 50th time, trying to get yourself to get to sleep when you heard a knock on your door.

You opened it thinking it was another soldier needing something small, but were shocked to instead see Chris Redfield, Captain of multiple elite task forces and founder of the BSAA.

You didn’t know whether to salute or curtsy, you were so close to falling asleep and were delirious

He smiled at your obvious discomfort. “I heard from the guys earlier you were the one to see if I needed anything.”

You looked at him wide eyed, still shocked that he came to your room late at night. He must really need something bad.

“Y-yeah, I’m sort of the barracks *mom* of sorts.” You giggled nervously. “What can I get you?”

Chris sighed. “Do you have anything for migraines?”

You looked at Chris, thoughtfully.

“I have a couple of solutions, how long have you had symptoms?”

Chris looks at you, you can tell what he’s going to tell you he’s embarrassed about. “…4 hours.”

You looked at him in horror. You knew Redfield was hardcore, but you had some migraines yourself before, if he was seeking your help, it must have been pretty intense.

Without thinking, you mentally switched into caretaker mode.

You quickly pulled the covers on your bed, and pulled out a foam wedge you had underneath your bed that you used to get comfortable for reading or watching tv.

Chris couldn’t help but grimace through his pain.

“Are you used to having late night visitors Y/L/N?” He looked at the foam wedge. “What the hell is that for?”

You snapped your head back at him. “What are you insinuating?” Genuinely curious, did he think you were going to treat his migraines by fucking him?

Chris grimaced again. “I hear you younger girls are into some wild things these days, but I didn’t expect it from you.” He put his hands up defensively. “More power to you though.”

You laughed from your belly. “Captain with all due respect, I think you’re seriously confused on what this is for.” You placed the wedge close to the foot of the bed. “Plus, if that’s how you think we’re gonna fix your migraine, you’re seriously confused on what my job here is.” You smiled at him.

You had only worked with Chris a couple of times. He wasn’t a stranger to you by any means, but you definitely weren’t friends either.

He was your superior and you respected him. The first time the two of you had met, you were a new recruit trying to make it onto the field.

You had passed every cognitive test the BSAA had to offer, but your physical skills were shit to say the least. You were athletic, you were great when it came to stamina, but when it came to hand to hand combat and firearms, you hesitated.

You remember the disappointed look your supervisor gave you when review time came. You were extremely gifted when it came to observations and patching men up, but you were a liability on the field.

“Get used to seeing the inside of the clinic, sweetheart.” You remembered him saying to you.

You remember going to the gun range, it was late in the afternoon and you thought no one was there. You were crying while missing the target completely. You knew you looked insane, but damn you felt so good.

“Why the hell can’t I just do this one simple thing?” You remember saying out loud to yourself. “The stupid boys back home could do this shit, but I doubt they could suture up flesh, and I can’t deploy because of this one thing!” You said louder emptying the clip into the target.

You pressed the button that brought the target to you. You looked at it helplessly; the bullets holes were all over the place. You crumpled the paper furiously into your hands.

“That's one way to neutralize a target,” you heard a warm baritone behind you say.

You turned around to see Chris Redfield with his own gear, ready to begin his own practice.

You saluted him. “Captain Redfield, Sir.”

He saluted you back. “At ease soldier, you don’t have to be so formal, no one else is here.”

“Y-yes sir.”

He walked closer to you, clearly in his element.

“I heard news on your performance review, Y/L/N. That’s brutal.” He said, trying to sound comforting.

Your lip quivered, you were angry and disappointed in yourself. You wanted to angry-cry, but not in front of one of the founders of the BSAA. He probably already thought you were weak, crying would just exacerbate the issue.

“It was.” You said looking down.

He looked at you sympathetically, and put his arm on your shoulder. “You have an incredible brain though.” He said, trying to lighten the mood. “We were really pulling for you this time, we need more personalities like you on the field.”

You looked up at him. “Really?”

Chris smiled at you. “I definitely don’t picture you in spec ops anytime soon, but we definitely could use you in damage control.”

You returned his smile.

“But you also understand why we can’t send you out there unprepared, you could be ambushed anytime.”

“I understand.” A heavy tear fell from your left eye and you immediately wiped it away, in fears of Chris noticing.

He looked at you sympathetically, “It’s normal, not being able to just want to shoot a living thing.”

“But why is it so easy for everyone else? I just can’t do it!” You said, frustrated.

“I think it’s because you’re overthinking it.” He shifts on his feet. “Think of it this way, if someone was going to hurt someone you cared about, even slightly, wouldn’t you not hesitate to take them down?”

You honestly had never thought about it before. You really were thinking of BOWS like victims, but if it were between you and your fellow soldiers getting out alive you wouldn’t hesitate.

Chris saw the gears in your brain working. “I knew it.”

“Knew what?”

“You think of them like they’re normal people, and they definitely may have been at one time.” He sighed, running his hand through his hair. “But you can’t think of them like that, it’ll get you killed, rookie.”

“Yessir,”’

“You know,” he said, picking up his duffle bag with his arsenal of personal weapons. “I actually have free time this evening, can I show you a couple of things?”

You looked up at him, shocked he would even want to spend one of his rare free moments with a dumbass like you.

“Are you sure? I know you’re always busy, are you sure you want to spend it mentoring my ass?”

“I don’t have anything else better to do, plus I see potential in you, rookie.” He motioned for you to follow him to the lane you were at before he came in.

He positioned himself behind you to perfect your form, gently touching your biceps and arms. He had a strong, but gentle grip on you. You tried not to turn into a teenage girl at his touch, but you seriously hadn’t got any action in a long time.

Chris, remained professional as always; if he noticed that you were crushing on him in the moment he didn’t acknowledge it, he just focused on the task at hand.

The afternoon turned into late in the evening, but you were finally comfortable with shooting your gun.

“Look at you, that was maybe 3 hours of proper training?” Chris looked at your work. “Looks like you’ll be out in the field in no time.”

Chris’ kindness stayed with you, and you were able to get into a lower ranking team, but a team nonetheless. You were finally able to help on the ground.

Now, Chris was looking to you for help and you couldn’t disappoint him.

“I’m going to have you sit down on my bed, okay? I promise I’m not gonna try anything funny with you okay?” You joked with him. Trying to lighten the mood.

“Honestly Y/L/N, I’m in so much pain, I’m willing to try anything.” He said sitting down.

“Good.”

You instructed him to lay down, putting the wedge underneath his calves, elevating his feet. You then grabbed a thick towel from one of your drawers and rolled it up. You gently placed the towel under his neck and made sure to keep his head supported with a pillow.

Chris grunted.

You looked down at him worried. “Are you okay?”

“Oh yeah,” he breathed out. “This is the best I’ve felt in a while.

“Good!” You chirped. “Where’s your pain radiating from?” You asked, getting up to turn on the humidifier. You knew from your own experience warm steam always helped, especially since it was December and seemed to worsen migraines.

“It feels like it’s behind my eyes, but it really does feel like it’s all over.”

“Is that normal for your migraines?” You asked putting hand sanitizer on. You had an idea of what you were going to do, but you wanted to make sure.

“Recently, yeah. I sustained a pretty bad neck and head Injury a couple years ago and they worsened from there.” He said, closing his eyes. His voice lowered like he was starting to get some relief.

“Are you okay with me touching you, Captain?” You said hesitantly.

“Of course, Doc.”

You smiled. “Not a doctor, but I think I can help.”

You began massaging the base of his neck, gently pulling his head to realign his spine. You were going at it for a couple of minutes before you heard him groan.

You stopped for a moment. “Still okay?”

“Better than okay. Can you keep going?” He asked sheepishly.

You were thankful he had his eyes closed, because his tone made you blush.

You began to let your hands move to his temples massaging the tense muscles in his face.

“You really carry a lot of stress,” you said trying to make his facial muscles relax manually.

“I guess 20 years of fighting monsters will do that to you.” He said bluntly.

“I’m sorry Captain-“ you stammered.

“Y/N drop the captain shit, it’s Chris. Please call me Chris when we’re alone.” It almost sounded like a plea.

“Yessir.”

He smiled, lightening the mood again. “I bet they ate you alive in boot camp.”

You smiled. “They did, but I survived.” You giggled.

You began to work your fingers over his sinuses, being sure to gently, but firmly relieve the tension in his face. Your fingers gently caressed a couple of mostly healed scars over his handsome face.

“I heard you got to see some action in the desert, Y/L/N.”

You sighed. It was a sensitive topic for you right now, but you didn’t want to offend Chris. “Yeah, I had to shoot my first aggressor.”

“You sound upset.”

“It was just,” You sighed heavily, trying to push the image of the infected soldier from your memory.

“We don’t have to talk about it.” Chris said, opening your eyes to meet your gaze. Before that moment you hadn’t realized how intimate this interaction was with him. His head was in your lap on a pillow, supported by your crossed legs.

“I knew him.” You said quietly.

“I heard he was one of our guys,” Chris said, his tone tinged with a slight sadness.

“He always was so shy and he was so into his routine it was funny. The other members would always clown on him.” You were reminiscing about your comrade.

“I always keep snacks in my room, and one day he broke his routine to see if I had anything. I was so happy that he asked me for something, that I kept buying the same snack so he would keep coming to me, I just wanted him to feel like I had his back.” You started to sniffle, feeling a burning sensation in your sinuses.

“I don’t know what happened he came back from

recon fine, I had just patched him up; then he turned.” You couldn’t help but tremble, Chris felt this and sat up.

You were slightly surprised by his sudden actions, he turned to face you.

He held your shoulders. “I need you to promise me that you’re not going to let this destroy your life Y/N. Remember what I said, it was either you or him.”

“But why did it have to be him?” You let your emotions go. You began to cry, you were wiping your own tears when Chris wrapped his arms around you. It immediately took you off guard.

He just held you, the warmth of his body radiating onto yours, you no longer felt so cold and lonely. He slowly let go of the embrace.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered.

“Don’t apologize, that’s a lot to have on your heart.” Chris looked at you more seriously this time. “Have they done your mental evaluation yet? You guys didn’t get back that long ago.”

You let out a sigh. “Honestly, after all that work to get me in this unit, I think I’m about to fail and be released because of a psych evaluation.”

Chris looked at you sympathetically.

“I guess it wasn’t meant to be, I really am just not cut out for this am I?” You pulled your knees to your chest.

He placed a warm hand on your leg.

“You’re doing just fine, the first kill is always the worst, but it doesn’t get easier. You just get tougher.”

You instinctively put your hand over his and squeezed. “I can’t imagine what you’ve seen, what keeps you going?”

Chris rubbed his hand over his face, his migraine had disappeared finally. “I wanted to stop getting close to others, I wanted to shut down, stop caring about people.”

You rubbed his arm and felt him shiver.

“But, that wasn’t who I am. I’d never stop caring, it was the reason I joined the Air Force and the RPD. It just led me…here.” He trailed off.

“We can’t control what happens to us, is what you’re saying, right Chris?”

He smiled. “Exactly. We can control how it affects us. You’re a sweet girl Y/N, I couldn’t stand to watch this line of work harden you.”

You blushed at the sweet girl comment.

“Well I guess then you’ll be happy that I’m thinking of going to TerraSave.” You said, nervous of how he was going to react.

Instead of looking at you with disgust like you had anticipated, he was excited.

“TerraSave? Really? I’m close with a major player over there, maybe I can tell her you’re interested.”

Your heart sank at the mention of a woman he was close with, you knew you never had a chance with him, but you liked to indulge in the healthy fantasy every once in a while.

“That would be great.” You said sheepishly.

“She’s my sister in case you’re wondering.” He winked at you.

You were embarrassed that your face gave it away that you were jealous.

He then boldly lifted your chin with his hand. “If you end up working for TerraSave, there won’t be any rules against taking you out on a date either.”

“Chris, really?” You laughed. You were in shock.

“I like a woman who doesn’t know when to stop,” he winked at you.

“You’re disgusting.” You playfully hit his shoulder.

He feigned defensiveness. “Hey, I was talking about not giving up on reaching a goal, I don’t know where your mind went to.”

You felt your self melt, he was so dreamy, exactly like you imagined. “I never thought I’d see this side of you, Chris. It’s nice.”

He cupped your face with his hand and you instinctively leaned into his palm.

“It helps when I’m with someone who’s able to bring it out of me” he said, stroking your face with his thumb.

You felt equally relaxed with him too, so relaxed that you let out a yawn.

Chris only chuckled. “I guess it is late, huh?” He said gently pulling his hand away.

You whined at the sensation.

“Don’t get bratty on me now,” he laughed.

You put your head into your hands. “How’s your head?”

“Much better,” he sat up straighter. “Crazy what a few moments of relaxing can do.”

You smiled at him, “Feel free to come to my room anytime.”

#chris redfield #resident evil fanfiction #chris redfield x reader #resident evil #fanfiction #resident evil fluff #ooc

[inkykeiji]

its so adorable that in the twins au dabi is smaller than touya. ALSO that dabi really has white hair but dyes it black to look less like touya?? fuckin cute af. i just wanna hump the twins cocks :((( maybe have a little me and dabi day at the zoo while touya is at work, getting all horny and desperate and humping away in the corner of the snake exhibit where its all dark, bc dabi just cant control himself >.< meep 🍓🍓

ISN’T IT?????? :((((( fuck strawberry bb u and me both waaaah

SHHHH STOP zoo dates with dabi would be so so so cute!!!!!

tw: public indecency

touya knows how bored the two of you get when he’s away at work, how restless the two of you get when you have too much time on your hands, how much trouble the two of you get into when left to your own devices for just a little too long.

so, he suggests the both of you visit the zoo, in the morning of one of his busiest days of the week, after you mumble into the pillows about how much you hate wednesdays, his twin agreeing with a muffled, noncommittal grunt.

it’s a weekday, he points out as slender fingers expertly fuss with a navy tie, catching your eye through the full-length mirror he’s situated in front of. which means it shouldn’t be too busy. and it’s not too hot, either—perfect day for the zoo.

and touya was right, just like he always is—the weather is beautiful, blue sky embroidered with the fluffiest white clouds, appearing sown into the atmosphere, and the zoo is practically dead, a result of it being smack in the middle of the workday.

you’ve been flitting from exhibit to exhibit for hours now, eyes bright and smile dazzling as you drag him to the next enclosure, your hand in his, excited little coos spilling from your throat.

and you look so cute, so precious as you observe the cheetahs, fingers tightening around the flesh of his palm and pulling a little in your wonderment as two whiz past you, a peculiar type of innocence enveloping you as you gasp and giggle.

yet regardless of how sweet you are, of how pure you appear, dabi wasn’t blessed with the virtue of patience, and the way the soft breeze keeps lifting the skirt of your already borderline indecent dress, linen swishing with the ebb and flow of the gentle gusts, is the worst kind of tease, fabric drifting to reveal the bare skin of your thighs, sometimes carrying the material high enough to gift him a glance of the pretty, lacy trim of your panties.

it’s driving him up the fucking wall, and he swears to god, he’s going to climb the cage of the cheetah enclosure and throw himself to the cats if the incessant ache in his pants isn’t relieved soon.

he’s surprised you haven’t noticed, truthfully, seemingly oblivious to the way he’s been pressing his body flush to yours, grinding hard flesh against your thigh, the way his eyes have morphed from glittering crystal to gaping navy, massive and ready to swallow you whole, the way his body’s become increasingly rigid, muscles coiled and shoulders hunched and jaw set.

but it’s all he can fucking think about, cock straining painfully against black denim, as if it’s yearning for you—for your touch, your tongue, your cunt—and it breaks him, finally, when you’re in the snake enclosure. because it’s dark, and there’s no one in here anyway—barely anyone anywhere at all—and he just can’t fucking help it, a growl rattling in his chest as he shoves you into the first corner you pass, sharp hipbones forcing your thighs to spread as he wiggles between them.

you don’t ask what’s going on—he doesn’t give you a chance to—crushing his lips to yours as calloused hands paw at your dress, your waist, your thighs, hips beginning to rut the moment they’re wedged between your legs.

harsh breaths echo throughout the tiny building, bouncing off concrete and magnifying as sharp teeth sink into your bottom lip, tugging hard before he sucks it into his mouth, tongue laving over the deep indents he left.

he can’t stand the stupid, desperate whines prying their way past his lips, mingled with pitiful whimpers that each roll of his hips pushes from his chest, sounds you eagerly gulp down as your fingers thread through his hair and your nails scrape against his scalp, almost as if you’re encouraging him.

it isn’t graceful. it’s needy, and rough, and uncoordinated, and he should be ashamed—touya would be ashamed, if he could see the way his younger twin is behaving, as primal as the animals that surround him—but dabi doesn’t care.

dabi doesn’t care that the rocking of his hips is awkward and uneven, harsh denim chafing the soft skin of your inner thighs in his haste; doesn’t care that he’s bitten you hard enough to draw blood, copper stinging his tongue as he sucks at the wound; doesn’t care that you’re in public, that this is technically illegal, that touya’s going to crucify him when he finds out—because he will find out.

no. dabi just wants to get off.

and he does, filling his jeans with burning, sticky cum embarrassingly quickly, your name leaving his lips in a cracked moan, fractured by the stuttering of his breath as his hips twitch, unable to quell their pathetic gyrating, even after he’s spilled himself.

it’s you that has to stop him, tender palms running down his glistening neck and then over his toned biceps, whispering stop, stop, stop, your caress soothing the overstimulated shudders coursing through his form.

you’re giggling a little when he finally pulls back to look at you, amusement playing in your eyes conjuring a breathless smile of his own, and his head falls forward, forehead resting against yours. your hands never stop their gentle ministrations as you sigh softly, shifting a little as wet denim rubs against your irritated skin.

“we’re bringing you an extra pair of pants, next time,”

#HEHEHEHEHE #HERE BB I WROTE U A TINY SOMETHING #v small #but my boyfriend LOVES going to the zoo #he's rly into biology n all that anyway anyway i loved the idea of getting off in public SO #i hope this weekend treats you excellently!!! <33 stay safe strawberry!!! #🍓.anon #clari gets mail #todoroki twins dabi and touya #inky.twins

[homoose]

🍯🩹😬

bc I love soft sappy shit…

and hiiiiii !!!!! I’ve missed you moose 🤎🤎🤎

pairing: Spencer x gn!reader

content warnings: none!

emojis: friends to lovers; tending to each other’s wounds; confessions of love!

a/n: omg she actually wrote something???? also hi bb missed u too!!!!

—

“Ow.”

You rolled your eyes, but there was no real heat behind it. “If you’d stop squirming I’d be done already.”

You pulled the last steri-strip across the gash just above Spencer’s brow— currently furrowed in pain. His tone was mostly joking, but you could hear the slight vibration from the adrenaline as it dropped off.

It was a close call for both of you— a profile just slightly off, an unsub just perfectly poised. You were exceedingly lucky that a gash was all you had to tend to.

Spencer’s eyes shifted to yours as you gingerly pressed the strip firmly into his skin. They were finally warm honey and golden flecks again, the pupils almost returned to normal. They glinted with his familiar self-deprecating humor, but you couldn’t quite bring yourself to smile at him just yet. The image of metal at his throat was too fresh, too raw, too close to the surface.

You swallowed dryly and dropped your hand, stepping back from where he was leaned against a dilapidated retaining wall. All at once, a searing pain shot through your knee and both legs crumpled underneath your weight.

“Shit—” Spencer lowly mumbled your name, kneeling next to you and scanning over your frame. “You’re bleeding.”

Sure enough, there was a bloom of red beginning to saturate your pant leg. You felt the warmth of Spencer’s palms as he gently moved the fabric up and out of the way. He reached for the first aid kit you’d discarded beside him on the retaining wall, grabbing the alcohol wipes and gauze.

“I’m fine, I can do it,” you mumbled, still slightly embarrassed from nearly keeling over.

Spencer gently knocked your hand out of the way. “I got it.” He looked up at you. “I got it.”

You watched as he carefully cleaned the wound, wincing a bit at the sting of the alcohol. You vaguely remembered the jolt of agony as you turned a poorly lit corner in the unsub’s barn, and it was only now that you realized he’d been able to slash across your kneecap.

“You’re lucky this isn’t deeper,” Spencer noted quietly. “You wouldn’t be walking out of here.”

All you could do was nod, your eyes pricking with tears at the tentative tone of his voice.

He quickly wrapped your leg, sure to cover the wound and keep the dressing tight. “You’ll have to have it checked out more thoroughly when we get back.”

“You should have yours checked, too.” You blinked the tears back and forced a smile. “My first aid training cert is lapsed, so it’s a real hack j—”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”

You cocked your head. “What?”

“I should have been behind you; this wouldn’t have happened.”

“Spence—”

“I know better, and I should have been with you, and I don’t— I just— I— I—”

Spencer closed his eyes and sucked in a deep breath through his nose, holding it for three seconds and then letting it out on a long exhale. You waited as he repeated this again, gathering himself. When he opened his eyes again, he looked at his hands— your blood on them— and then at you.

“I should have been there with you, because things are— well— things are pretty notorious for going badly when we split up.” You could see a thousand memories pass behind his eyes. “And if anything happens to you, I don’t know what I’ll do.”

You took a breath to settle your sudden nerves. “Putting your gun away wasn’t the best move either,” you noted, your own memory— of a trigger pull and the clatter of metal— freshly planted. “You’re lucky I’m a good shot.” Your eyes flickered to the tiny red prick at Spencer’s throat and then back to meet his own. “I don’t know what I’d do without you either.”

“I love you.”

You answered on reflex, the same words you’d said a thousand times before. “I love you, too.”

“No, I mean.” Spencer shook his head. “I mean, I love you love you.”

He shifted his eyes to the ground almost immediately, but you were already reaching for him, pulling him forward until your noses touched, pressing your lips to his with no hesitation. He brought his hands up to cradle your face, both steadying himself and keeping you close. It was peaked anticipation and pure sweetness and infinite possibilities all wrapped up into one moment, and you never wanted it to end.

And then Derek’s wolf whistle sounded across the lot, and you reluctantly broke away, reveling in the flush that bloomed across Spencer’s cheeks.

“I love you love you, too, Spencer.”

—

send me an emoji combo for a blurb!

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fluff #homoose writes

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Something Held | Feeding Habits Update #8

Hi all!

Not me not realizing it’s been 3 months since I posted a Feeding Habits update hahahahahaha. Today let’s chat chapter nine, SOMETHING HELD. This also marks the last chapter in Harrison’s POV so prepare to say goodbye to this icon!  TW: body horror, mental illness, trauma

Just a reminder: This is my original work and plagiarism of any form will not be tolerated.

Scene outline, excerpts & a little reflection on making difficult decisions that my not particularly benefit the book but benefit you as the writer under the cut because this update is GIGANTIC.

General taglist (please ask to be added or removed):

@if-one-of-us-falls, @qatarcookie, @chloeswords, @alicewestwater, @laughtracksonata, @shylawrites, @ev–writes, @jaydewritesfiction, @jennawritesstories @eowynandfaramir, @august-iswriting​, @aetherwrites​

Scene Breakdown

Scene A:

It has been two weeks since Lonan found Harrison at his shared apartment with Suzanna and things are getting strange. Lonan and Suz are getting closer, Harrison is getting more distant and slowly losing it. One morning, Harrison wakes hearing Lonan and Suz’s laughter, and crawls to the kitchen to investigate. When he reaches them, Suz is evening out Lonan’s hacked haircut and they’re both sobbing.

Scene B:

Shortly after this bizarre encounter, Suzanna steps out of the apartment for a breather because her son is sort of terrifying her! So Lonan and Harrison double-team to clean up Lonan’s hair shavings. Harrison begins eating the hair while Lonan stares and they have a conversation about the state of their friendship.

Scene Ba:

This scene is gross and confusing! More hair is ingested. My god.

Scene Bb:

After the above ordeal, both boys rinse off because they’ve been rolling?? around?? in??? hair?? but also?? things don’t stop being a little gross

Scene C:

An air of calm finally settles over the apartment. Lonan brews earl grey tea for him and Harrison to share and Harrison asks if he abandoned Lonan in the final chapter of Moth Work. Lonan doesn’t really answer this question so Harrison continues on his confused, but finally lucid (one-sided) conversation, admitting he understands he burdens his mother, who still has not returned. They circle back to the question of abandonment and Lonan answers Harrison the way he wants to be answered (yes), and this is a moment of freeing, where he feels some sort of responsibility in this irresponsible new life he’s led in NYC. They sort of agree to be friends again.

Scene D:

The boys head into the city to find Suzanna, heading to a bakery near the Hudson River. Lonan drives in his used car, a strange experience since Harrison has not seen him drive in years. Taking the opportunity, he searches through the car and finds a map in the glove compartment. The map is erratically scribbled over and it takes him to moment to realize this is Lonan’s map and the first indication that Lonan, who he has assumed is this stable, perfect person, is not as unscathed as he seems.

The boys pass the waterfront and Lonan nearly crashes the car into an oncoming truck. Harrison regains control of the vehicle tucking them into a side street. Shaken, Lonan apologizes for the mess he’s created both physically from his nosebleed and between Harrison and his mother, which gets Harrison a little antsy because he doesn’t like the suggestion that he’s going to leave. Lonan clarifies, stating he won’t if that’s what Harrison wants.

Scene E:

Later, everyone is back at home and Harrison wakes up to a Lonan-less bed. He gets up to investigate the strange dripping coming from the bathroom and opens the door to find Lonan precariously teetering over a sink filled with water. Harrison, concerned, moves him away and tries to ask why Lonan is presumably going underwater, but doesn’t push. They both stand on opposite sides of the bathroom until the sun rises.

My process:

Honestly, writing this chapter was a huge up and down. The first half of it came much easier to me, but the rest was a literal hellfire to get through. I think I was incredibly fatigued with writing in Harrison’s POV as I’d been writing it since June (I finished this chapter in either December or January). This book has been a pain in the ass to write despite me liking what it is, and I really think it being the only place I’ve physically “gone” since the pandemic makes it even harder to write. I felt claustrophobic in Harrison’s POV since I’ve been writing it for half a year, and in a lil ~breakdown~ my beautiful sister reminded me of something she’d previously told me, “it's not about what works, it's about what you want”.

Let’s chat about this for a sec! I think I was watching a Harmony Nice video on her “hard-to-swallow” self-care, and she basically outline (I’m paraphrasing here) that it’s critical we care for ourselves in ways that might not necessarily be easy to do. Honestly, leaving Harrison’s POV is one of those hard-to-swallow self-care things I literally had to do because my mental health was not happy with me! Y’all know my boys are very close to me, and I’m not picking favourites but Lonan is 2500 times easier for me to write with at the moment. I think Harrison’s situation and how he deals with it is much too similar to mine but in a way that is difficult to place (Lonan and I are unfortunately similar but in a way that is easier for me to understand about myself!). From the beginning of writing his POV I’ve been in Struggleville, but kept pushing through hoping the next chapter would be “the one”. Not to burst my own bubble but there is no such thing in the state of mind I was in! I was pushing myself to find something that doesn’t exist because my brain was really not equipped to do what I needed it to do. I really, really did not want to quit on Harrison’s POV, but I had to, not because I don’t like him (he’s my baby) but because I needed a moment to myself. I felt way too seen in ways I don’t really know how to address in myself, so writing him was horribly frustrating at all times (my fault, not his).

My characters really do live in my head rent-free lol. They live in there! They take up space! They take up energy! They take up concentration, and resources I need for myself! Empathy is so integral to my process, that I give a little part of myself in everything I write. This is a blessing because I really get to dig my heels into the mind of another person, but a curse because I’m not a machine (and sometimes I forget that). It is a lot of emotional energy and labour to give everything you have to fictional people. I don’t think an artist needs to be tortured to create good art (this is not it!) but I never truly practiced this well? In my attempt to be empathetic, I was torturing myself a little bit, not going to lie!

So to combat this, I decided I needed a change. Hence, this chapter is imperfect and probably needs some stuff added to it, and while I’ve only written little of Lonan’s second POV, I’m feeling a lot better! It’s nice to get “outside” in a different place lmao this is so sad (pandemic writing things).

Excerpts:

I wrote the beginning of this in a livestream I hosted on my YouTube channel! There’s also a shoutout here to my dragon tree Lisa <3 miss u boo

Two weeks go by. Lonan sleeps on the couch. Harrison wakes up at dawn—no earlier, no later. Suzanna buys a plant: a Madagascar dragon tree she names Lisa. June grows into the collar. Lonan plays sudoku in the newspaper. Harrison learns to bake focaccia, gluten-free, whole wheat. Suzanna learns to palm read, tells Lonan he’s experienced great betrayal (they stop the reading immediately; Lonan goes back to the newspapers). Harrison begins burning incense at sunrise—frankincense. The dragon tree nearly dies (Lonan saves it). It rains every weekday that contains the letter T. Lonan shifts stacks of soggy newspapers onto the breakfast table, answers crosswords with the help of Suzanna (four across, nine letters, Something held). Harrison burns a baguette. Suzanna buys a hanging basket of pothos. The power goes out for two days and the icebox floods the kitchen tile (Lonan mops it with old newspapers, the ink running like jellyfish). June barks for the first time. Harrison eats a bundle of dried bay leaves. Suzanna waters the plants with rainwater, icewater, wrung into a coffee tin. Harrison leaves the stove on while sautéing shallots (he eats them whole). Lonan wakes up feverish and fills out four newspaper crosswords, then falls asleep on the coffee table. Suzanna moulds panna cotta in coffee mugs and shares the batch with Lonan when they won’t tip out. Lonan teaches her how to propagate the pothos and soon they have twenty empty cans of cuttings poking from the windowsills. They rearrange the furniture, the couch facing the kitchen instead of the TV, the dining table right outside the bathroom, then put it all back the next day. They birdwatch from the tiny window with binoculars and a magnifying glass. They sort coupons. Whittle soaps. Watch Norwegian films without the subtitles. Discuss cliff diving. Make matching anklets (blue beads, elastic string, the plastic clacking how Harrison knows they’re coming). All of this they do as Harrison lies on his bed for two weeks, counting the corners of his ceiling and trying to determine a way to multiply them telepathically.

This is the very next paragraph!

At first he assumes they’re laughing. The sun nearly rising between other high rises, blotting his room with dawn. This is not a surprise. They are probably making pancakes out of buckwheat and discussing the hilarity of whole grains. They are probably laughing at store-bought cherry preserves. Too sour. Their cheeks puckered. But then the laughs get louder, and the sun rises higher and it’s not laughing at all, but gasping.

Here’s Harrison crawling!! is this straight out of the exorcist probably!

Harrison’s instinct is to crawl. As if his smallness against the ground will stop anyone from hearing him, even before he unlocks his door. On hands and knees he shuffles from his bed to his doorframe, edges the door open with his shoulder. On hands and knees he hikes through the hallway, the gasping getting louder, shuffling until he sees them. Lonan sitting on one of the kitchen stools, a grocery bag wound around his throat. Suzanna clacking scissors in two hands so their blades ping in the sun. Her fingers loped around his hair, knuckle-deep, the blades snipping, the gasps growing, them both sobbing, the hair falling, the sun stalking, their bodies rocking. Harrison takes it in from his crawl. Experiences it all on his knees.

So this excerpt seems really you know, normal:

They clean up the hair. Harrison with the dustpan, Lonan with the broom. Harrison still kneels. Lonan still cries. The only thing that has changed since crawling into the kitchen is that Suzanna is taking a walk around the apartment complex. She needs air. Room. If she cries long enough, a cigarette. So Lonan sweeps. Harrison collects. This repeats.

The kitchen smells of nutmeg. Freshly grated from a whole club over espresso, Harrison imagines. He smells this as he tracks Lonan with the dustpan, hovering its open belly for clippings of hair. And Lonan is so compliant, brushes cuttings of himself onto the plastic surface so Harrison can trash it. As Harrison looks on from his knees, Lonan diffuses in sunlight, the window illuminating only his edges. A body so familiar Harrison knows exactly where it flares with light or absorbs it. A body with skin like mulberry silk. A body he could recreate in charcoal with his eyes closed. His archangel translucent and luminescing.

Skip this excerpt if you don’t want to read about Harrison eating hair!! i’m sorry!

Harrison picks a bundle of fallen hair from the dustpan. It’s airy from being recently shampooed, smells faintly of pear, maybe even ginger. This hair, touched by a woman, or a few women, and cut by one, or a few, in different contexts. Eliza’s hands deveining the roots, and then Suzanna’s, trying to fix them. So Harrison eats it. That bundle like a toothpicked cube of cheese. He puts it in his mouth and swallows.

Lonan watches like he’s unconcerned. He watches this feral animal—Harrison must be something feral, starved of something and ravaged by that hunger. Chewing mouthfuls of hair like that will quell of him of what is missing, if there even is anything missing, something unidentifiable in this bland circuit of New York City, this time-loop of sonhood, this fresh start a dousing of flatness. As Harrison eats, he understands he consumes that something like it’s holy communion, reuniting with that something by absorbing it. And still, that hunger moves him, from finishing the dustpan of hair, and closer to Lonan.

“Do you think I’m a bad friend?” Harrison asks, wringing the corner of his lips clean from loose hairs. From this perspective, Harrison on his knees collecting hair, Lonan’s eyes look bluer. Maybe their saturation has nothing to do with the angle, but Harrison feels this is true; his eyes are so crystalline, they are temptingly edible. Like two plump blueberries. Or a matching set of clear glass marbles. Harrison swallows. He repeats, “Do you think I’m a bad friend?”

Lonan swallows, adjusts his grip on the broom. “We’d have to be friends for me to answer that.”

“Aren’t we?”

And here’s the rest of this scene!

“You’re my mother’s friend,” Harrison says. “She trusts you.” He crawls closer to Lonan. “You’ve got secrets. Rituals. Tell me her favourite finger-food and who she wants to marry.”

“I don’t know your mother that well.”

Harrison wraps a handle around Lonan’s ankle. A muscle there jumps like a dolphin breaching the water. He’s memorized this plane of skin, could rebuild it from single grains of sand while blindfolded. He furls his hands across its surface, unfurls.

“You garden with her,” Harrison says. “You share a plate for dessert.”

“She’s kind to me.”

“You cook her breakfast.” Harrison tugs on Lonan’s ankle, knowing it won’t raze him, knowing he’ll come down anyway. “You know the exact temperature she drinks her coffee down to the last digit.”

“I’m trying to be hospitable.”

“You’re trying to be a son.”

Lonan kneels. Crouching so they’re huddled over each other, so it’s nearly impossible to distinguish one body from the other, which one sinks, which one rises.

“My mother’s only got one son to live with,” Harrison says, his voice thin from a clogged throat. He reaches for Lonan’s scalp, scrapes a line down the centre, now an even plane of cropped hair. “And it isn’t me.”

“You’re unstable,” Lonan says, burrowing his face either into a cabinet or Harrison’s shoulder—neither can tell. “You won’t let yourself have friends.”

Farther, toward the tile they go, a pile of hair scattering. “My mother wants me to forgive you by replacing me with you.”

“She’s grieving,” Lonan says.

Harrison loses his hands. He doesn’t know where they disappear to, if he touches skin or tile. “I haven’t died,” he says. Skin or tile. Skin or tile.

Here’s an excerpt from scene C ft. this memoir bit from the time I was shocked that this university I visited had real FANCY teabags:

Lonan brews tea. Earl grey, from a tin. Harrison doesn’t know why he expects it to come from a bag. An individual paper sachet, or if he’s lucky, one of those fancy ones woven from nylon. But it’s from a tin. Two teaspoons into the bottom of a single mug they pass back and forth, wordless at the kitchen table. Strung in the bathroom, Harrison’s t-shirt hang-dries, nearly figure-like, an unfilled phantom. He tugs a throw around his shoulders and stares at his hands. Each crest of cuticle. Each bulb of knuckle. Each maze of fingerprints.

He is material. This is fact. Not just outlines. He’s got skin that goes pinkish when pinched, a pulse that juts from his wrist, two eyes that burn at the scent of lavender, ten fingers. But as he holds his hands up, studying them in the faint moonlight, it is difficult to believe his tangibility. In the city, he has lived as a haze. Fogging over grocery stores, eateries, nondescript. Fresh start has always implied an air of zest, a zing that should have fueled him to plant roots in this restart. But Harrison is rotten, aphid infected, overwatered, underwatered, then not watered at all. He flexes his fingers. He pops the joints. He tries to press his pinkie to the back of his hand. But none of this brings him back to himself. His hands continue feeling like someone else’s. His body invisibly marred in some way he can’t reverse, disconnected in retaliation.

Harrison reflecting on his relationship with his mother:

Suzanna has never left him alone this long, and to her detriment. He imagines her now, living the life she always should’ve lived, the life she lived before he crosscut his way to her most important thing. She’s probably at a salon, having her hair twirled with a round brush, making dinner reservations at some place always too expensive for two (extra points if it has a French name, more if she has to wait a half hour before getting a table). When she talks to her stylist, she doesn’t mention a son, but plans to travel up the west coast, all the way into Canada if she’s feeling adventurous. She’ll buy crime novels she’ll never read at duty-free, reapply a lipstick that cost her a paycheck in the reflection of a hand-dryer. After the salon, she’ll meet a woman at a wine bar, converse about children, and still not mention a son. Suzanna’s singleness will be a celebration.

The boys finally trucing it out <3

When Harrison finally opens his eyes, Lonan is staring at him. His eyes two reels of the Pacific. They cycle in blue. So much of him has changed, and yet he is still the same. Beyond the haircut, Lonan isn’t that much different. He can’t be much different. But as Harrison searches, splaying his palm on the wet table, he knows this is untrue. Lonan is hollower than he was last summer. A little more haunted. They have this in common, then.

“Can we be friends?” Harrison asks. With his pinkie, he finds himself writing against the damp table just as he did Lonan’s scalp not too long ago. Lonan’s gaze follows each loop of each letter, Harrison’s steady left hand.

Lonan is consumed studying what Harrison has written, where each letter connects in near-cursive scrawl. After a moment, he nods, once, twice, and then reverts to staring at the table’s new inscription. On its surface are two words: something held.

The boys in the car like old times <3

Lonan drives. This is strange because Harrison has not seen Lonan drive a car in over a year. Usually, Harrison takes the wheel, but tonight he guides them through the city, in search of Suzanna. His car is clean. This isn’t unexpected. A cherry-coloured hatchback that rattles whenever he makes a left turn. It smells vaguely of cotton air-freshener and the undercurrent of cigarettes.

“You still smoke?” Harrison pokes at the plastic nob for the radio, and it crackles to life. Synth and electric guitar pulse in 4/4 time.

“I bought it used.”

They’ve agreed to get to know one another while they search for Suzanna. Another restart, some attempt at an honest hour. As Lonan changes lanes, Harrison pokes open the car’s glove compartment. A tin of nicotine gum falls on the mat. A hot pink feather pokes from underneath the driver’s manual. Harrison hauls out both, runs the feather along the gum tin, then the back of his hand, and then Lonan’s cheek. When that rouses nothing, he unlocks the tin and removes a slit of gum. Right as he’s about to pop it in his mouth, Lonan says, “I wouldn’t eat that.”

“Why?” Harrison asks. “Did you lace it?”

“Like I said, I bought the car used.”

Harrison puts the gum back, and then the feather. He sticks his hand farther into the glove compartment, feels around until he drags out a map of the state, bilgy and half torn. He unfolds it, careful to avoid the rips, and flattens it against the dashboard. Almost immediately, it wilts against the cold, faded from time in the sun. It’s been marked up. Half with pencil, half with a red ballpoint pen. After a few minutes, Harrison understands the previous owner’s route. Or at least he does at first. Following the red pen arrows, they started at Long Island, then reached Manhattan. Then a much longer arrow takes him from Manhattan to Geneva, and then Buffalo. And then the red pen circles, once, twice, three times, four times, and what is in the centre doesn’t even have a city name. What it does say is HELP, in all-caps, each letter then melting into an illegible scrawl. Harrison sees bits of words: Luke, woe, hands, clay, guard, stray, each wobbly and disappearing into the other, becoming cities of their own, destroying others. He tries to understand the route, but the farther he pours over the map, recircling each line with his finger, the more lost he gets in the ink.

“Is this your map?” Harrison asks. There is no proof that it is. Even the handwriting is all wrong. Ragged. Confused. Desperate. Not like Lonan’s careful, hesitant print.

“Like I said, I bought the car used.”

“But is it your map?” Harrison asks again. Gently, he creases the paper and then slots it back into the glove compartment. Outside, they pass three convenience stores in a row, a flock of couples emerging from a bowling alley, tipsy and cradling leftover deep dish pizzas and mozzarella sticks. They pass two more convenience stores before Lonan finally answers.

“I was confused,” he says.

“This is more than confused,” Harrison says. “It’s disturbed.”

“I’m not disturbed.”

“But something is wrong with you.”

Lonan slows at a crosswalk. A group of teenaged girls whisk by in glitter and lip gloss.

“Yes,” he says.

This is Harrison trying to stop Lonan’s nosebleed after their bizarre swerve which I think is kind of <3 tendy <3

Harrison reaches for him. One hand on the back of his neck, and the other reared toward the red stream. His touch is tactful, so faint his fingerprints wouldn’t even be left behind, but still, the dabbing with his jacket’s hem is enough to redirect the blood’s flow from Lonan’s upper lip to the cuff of leather. The radio is still on, garbled like an unmassing of crepe paper lanterns.

This is the final excerpt for this update that takes us to the very end of the chapter! Harrison has just found Lonan supposedly head-first in the sink and though he asks at first why he is doing that, takes an alternate approach as the chapter closes:

Harrison gets up, his knees popping like gnawed bubble gum. He decides he will handle Lonan at a distance, if he chooses to handle him at all. Like a timid pet owner trying to tame their suddenly-rabid yorkie. Like a friend not trying to tip the full glass. To let its contents film at its surface, but never spill.

Somewhere in the apartment, Suzanna probably listens to them. If Harrison didn’t know her better, he’d imagine her pressed neatly against the door, waiting to hear the shuffle of their bodies or the tang of an argument. Instead, he imagines her at the kitchen table, gripping a glass of water for so long, half of it evaporates.

“You don’t have to tell me anything,” Harrison says, stepping back until his spine hits the counter’s lip. He curls his fingers under the granite. Looks toward the window, now a faint periwinkle. Lonan heaves. His fingers caging his face, an animal restrained. They stand there until the sun rises.

So that’s it for this gigantic update! I have like four short stories to update you on so I hope to be back soon!

—Rachel

#writing #writerblr #amwriting #writeblr #fostered #mothwork #writingupdates #feedinghabits

[cherryobx]

Heartbreakers unite//JJ Maybank x reader

requested?: yes kinda idk u tell me “ hey bb! I was wondering if I could get a jj request where she's a massive Heartbreaker,,, but somehow her and jj start dating even tho they were originally players? ty! “

i don’t even know what i wrote, i’m sorry

summary: the pogues think that Y/N and JJ are perfect for each other, so they decide to lock you into the bathroom together

warnings: none i think, a tiny bit of cursing

WC: 597

You were known as the ‘heartbreaker’ of Outer Banks. There were a lot of guys who would’ve done anything to make you theirs. 

You were a pogue but even the kooks looked at you like you were from heaven. 

But even a heartbreaker like you had a soft spot for someone special. For you, it was JJ Maybank.

The main reason you talked to so many other guys was that you were trying to distract yourself from thinking about that one blonde boy.

What you didn’t know, was that JJ had a crush on you too.

“What should we do?” Kie asked Sarah John B and Pope.It was a typical night at the outer banks, which meant that there was a kegger at the chateau. They were trying to get you and JJ together because they thought that you were perfect for each other. 

“Oh, I know! We should lock them somewhere together.”

“That’s actually a great idea. But where?” Kie agreed.

“The bathroom, I have a key that can lock it from the outside” John B suggested. Everyone agreed.

“We’ll get Y/N to go in there and we’ll lock her in there. Then you’ll bring JJ and we’ll lock him in there as well.”

“Okay, let’s go.”

Sarah and Kie found you flirting with a touron. “Can we talk to you for a second?” Kie asked you.

“Yeah, sure,” you agreed. “I’ll be right back,” you winked at the touron and then followed the girls into the chateau.

They led you to the bathroom and you walked in first. “Why did we come here? We could’ve just talked in the kitchen or something,” you said. Then you heard the door close behind you.

You turned around, very confused. “Guys?” You tried to open the door but it was locked.

“Shit!” There weren’t any windows that you could’ve climbed out of so you were stuck in there for good.

You started knocking desperately on the door. “Hey! Someone, please help me!” 

And the next thing you knew, the door opened and JJ was thrown into the bathroom. The door closed behind him again. “John B and Pope I swear to fucking god!” he yelled angrily banging his fist on the door.

“Hey, JJ! Stop! You’ll hurt yourself.” He hadn’t noticed you yet so he was quite surprised to see you there.

“What are you doing in here?” he asked.

“I don’t even know. I was locked into here by Sarah and Kie. What about you?”

“John B and Pope physically dragged me into here.” 

“I don’t understand why though.” You agreed. “Me neither.”

“Well if we’re going to be here for a while, I might as well take a shower.” You turned on the water and stepped under it, still in full clothing.

JJ laughed. “What are you doing?”

“Taking a shower. Care to join?”

He thought for a second and then stepped under the running water with you. “I kinda like it though. I’ve never had a shower with clothes on.”

“I kinda like you,” you mumbled, not thinking he’d hear it, but he did.

“What did you say, babe? I couldn’t really hear you over the running water.” He was smirking because he knew what he was doing. Your heart was racing from the adrenaline.

“I think you heard what I said.”

“Yeah, I did because I have ears, Y/N.” He laughed, making you hit his chest lightly.

“I kinda like you too though.” 

“You do?”

“Yeah.”

“And what are you going to do about it?”

“I’m going to make you mine.”

I DIDN’T PROOFREAD! ALSO I’M SORRY I DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED WITH THIS ONE

taglist: @ethereallust @teamnick @www-imbored-com @delightfullynlove @prejudic3 @afterglows7b-tch13 @tomhardybby @ad-infinitums @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless (couldn’t tag you for some reason)

#jj maybank #jj outer banks #jj maybank x reader #jj x reader #jj imagine #rudy pankow #john b #chase stokes #kiara carrera #madison bailey #sarah cameron #madelyne cline #pope heyward #jonathan daviss #rafe cameron #drew starkey #topper thornton #austin north #imagine #fanfiction #outer banks #obx #obx s2

[ficletsbynaria]

can i ask for a tendou angst fic ?? in which both of u are in a relationship but then he wakes up one day and now feels nothing?? like it wasn't on purpose and stuff,, its up to u on what the ending would be TYY!!

okay i did my best to make this HURT hurt 😪😪😪 but it’s kinda sad how i see tendou doing this sigh i love the bb but does he love me back 

also i wrote this one in 3rd person POV :))

𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱: 2,296 words

𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔞𝔠𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔰: Tendou Satori

𝔱𝔞𝔤𝔰: none

To Love A Monster

Something poked his chest, stirring him awake. Tendou’s sharp eyes grew thinner as he squinted at his lover’s form, curling up to him. A soft groan came out of his mouth, calling their attention. 

“You woke me up.” He stated obviously, his eyes watched as their head moved to face him fully. Y/N’s expression still groggy but a small smile graced their lips. “I was lonely.”

Tendou looked thoughtful like he always does. “We’re literally cuddled up against each other without any space between us.” With that said, he scooted closer, placing his chin under their head. A sigh of contentment came from his partner, who breathed in his scent. 

“And I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Y/N trailed off, small snores can be heard from their mouth. The redhead raised his hand, raking his fingers through their tangled hair. Checking the clock on the wall, he had 20 minutes before morning practice started that day. 

His other hand found theirs, entwining their fingers together with his. Staring, he pondered over how Y/N’s hand always looked tiny compared to his. In fact, everything about them was tiny compared to him. Lulling himself to sleep, Tendou decided that Ushijima would just burst into his dorm room if he was ever needed.

He placed a peck on their forehead. Tendou snuggled up against them and closed off the nonexistent space.

This was more important than the morning practice.

~

“The water’s freezing, I’m not going in.” Crossing their arms over their chest, Y/N tiptoed away from the incoming wave of water. The sand was hot, but the air was cool enough to combat it.

Tendou was already knee-deep into the water, eyeing their stubborn companion. “So did you just wear that swimsuit for me then?” Y/N responded with a glare at his comment. “And what if I did?” He smirked, knowing that he’s pushed the right buttons. 

“Then I’ll tell you that I prefer it wet.” He was still standing on his spot yet his stare was beckoning them to accompany him. “It gets warmer when you stay in it for a while, so get your pretty self over here.”

The sun was beating down on the beach, so maybe having a small dip in the water wasn’t that bad. Y/N contemplated Tendou’s offer, placing a finger on their chin. “Aren’t you going to come to grab me and throw me over your shoulder?”

He raised an eyebrow at their suggestion. Tendou recognized that challenging tone in Y/N’s voice. He studied them, their mannerisms, their responses. This particular teasing side of theirs was something they picked up from him. Although, Y/N couldn’t beat him in a banter, as he would never give in to his opponent.  

Instead, he faced away from them, striding closer to the deeper part of the beach. “Nah, too dangerous for both of us.” Without sparing them a glance, he added. “If you’re not coming, I’ll go on ahead.” Tendou didn’t wait for them to respond. He started swimming away once it got deep enough for him. Y/N was left alone, the breeze suddenly colder on their skin.

Looking over, they saw the countless couples who took advantage of their summers. Guys splashing water at their significant other. Girls making cute and amateur sandcastles, giggling whenever the beach’s waves toppled it over. Married couples who looked on their children playing in the water, sharing a quiet moment under the shade.

Y/N heard their boyfriend calling over to them. Tendou was panting, hair wet as he floated in the water. “You still gonna stand around there?”

“Coming!” They responded with careful enthusiasm. Slowly shuffling into the water, they remembered their first beach date with Tendou. It was with his family, and Y/N were invited over by his mother, insisting that their future in-law would be part of the trip. A somber expression remained on their face as they recalled. Even with his doting parents watching over them, Tendou messed around with Y/N as if they were the only ones on the beach.

Looking at him now, he acted like someone who was stuck in their own world. Distant and beyond reach.

~

Y/N rushed over the restaurant’s entrance, bowing at the staff as they entered. The air was colder, and they were relieved to finally have some heat to comfort them. Looking over the tables, Y/N spotted an intimidatingly tall figure at the corner of the room.

“Hey sorry I’m late.” They slid over at the empty chair on the table, next to the ace. “It’s fine,” Ushijima reassured. “At least you’re earlier than Tendou.”

“Satori still isn’t here?” It was confusing, considering that they were half an hour late. Tendou is always on time on occasions with his teammates. The only time he was ever late was when he hung out with Y/N, where he refused to leave their side until they or Ushijima had to force him to go somewhere else.

These days, it was a miracle if Tendou ever crossed paths with them in the school hallways.

“Wa-ka-to-shiii!” The playful voice intruded Y/N’s thoughts, spotting a redhead marching over to their table. Tendou’s nose was reddened by the chilly air outside, matching the shade of his hair. They tore their eyes away from staring at his facial features. He didn’t even spare them a glance when he approached the table.

Seeing Tendou and Ushijima together with the smaller, more welcoming Y/N was a funny display. One who was loud and lanky, another who was silent but his presence (not even counting his height) was intimidating; sometimes suffocating to mere strangers, and one who was inviting and approachable, an aura that dampened the other two’s.

It was Ushijima that pointed out that Tendou worked well with Y/N. Not long after that, Tendou declared to Ushijima that his ‘little one’ (a nickname that mocked their height, but they soon found it endearing) was off-limits. Ushijima then saw that they worked too well, as Tendou and they were barely apart.

Now, it’s as if the world flipped over its head. Tendou’s avoidance was hard to ignore. What’s weirder was Y/N’s lack of acknowledgment towards his actions, sometimes even borderline compliance with it. Ushijima wasn’t stupid. Something was wrong between them

The quiet man noticed that Tendou and his friend were sitting across from each other, instead of sitting together. He moved to stand up, “Tendou, switch seats with me.”

“Huh?” Tendou blurted out, a questioning look in his eyes. He swore he saw Y/N  flinch from the corner of his eye, but chose to ignore it. Ushijima walked around the table and sat to the empty chair next to Tendou. He motioned to the chair he vacated, “Go sit with Y/N. You’re their boyfriend.”

Ushijima was blunt with his sentences, but he was also tactless.

He only heightened the tension between Y/N and Tendou. Awkwardly, they avoided eye-contact with Tendou, who was drumming his fingers on the table, also refusing to look at their direction. “I think I’m good here.” He protested.

Y/N drew in a sharp breath. It wasn’t enough for Tendou to glance at them but his fingers stopped moving, attentive on what they will do next. Even Ushijima was observing Y/N. Tendou was certain that they might start crying. When they lifted their head up, he had to stop himself from recoiling at their expression.

“It’s fine, Toshi. Let’s just order our food.”

He memorized their smile, took note of the wrinkles on their eyes when they beamed up at him. How their lips curled sweetly. How a speck of blush adorned their cheekbones. It was a spectacle that he had gotten used to ever since they started dating, even before that.

What he was seeing in front of him, was a hollow attempt of masking the crazy storm inside their head. Y/N’s smile didn’t reach their eyes. Those eyes were also devoid of any brightness. If Tendou looked hard enough, he saw his own reflection in their eyes. As if they were showing him, what caused this sad expression on their face.

Maybe he truly was a monster, the monster that only every opponent on the court had witnessed. The monster that had taken away his own lover’s light.

~

The cheers were deafening inside the court, hearing it loud and clear even when outside. Y/N tentatively waited at the entrance. Fiddling with their fingers, they contemplated on what to say to him.

’Don’t mind’? No, too repetitive. ‘There’s always next time’?  Okay, they just lost their spot to the nationals and he’s graduating, so definitely not. ‘I’m still here for you’? The last statement made them scoff, crossing it out of their mind immediately.

They doubted if their presence was good enough for Tendou.

Y/N’s attention was caught when they spotted the uniform for the Shiratorizawa team. There they saw Tendou trudging towards the opposite direction, not even acknowledging their presence. They threw that thought away from their head, thinking that maybe he didn’t notice them yet.

“Satori,” Y/N paused. Tendou’s ears perked up at the sound of their voice but he didn’t meet their gaze. They swallowed the lump in their throat. “How are you?” Wanting to beat themselves up for such a vague question, Y/N waited for his reply in heavy silence.

“What are you doing here?” He dodged the question, unmoving. They clenched their fists at his response. They took a step closer to Tendou, afraid that he might run away if they weren’t near enough to stop him.

“I watched your game, what else would I be doing here?” They couldn’t stop themselves from letting out a sarcastic comment. Some lost hope that they had opted for them to act like everything was normal. Perhaps by doing so, their relationship might go back to normal.

The bite in Tendou’s next words snuffed out any hope, however. “You shouldn’t have.”

“Why? Is it because you lost the match? You know win or lose, I just wanted to come and support you and the others-”

“I didn’t want you here.”

They blanched.

Tendou couldn’t look at them. In fact, he could hear their heart cracking in two as they muttered a pained ‘Oh’.

“I have somewhere to be. So if you want to say anything-”

“You’re always going to places that don’t have me in it. And I admire the nerve you had to ask if I want to say anything.” Y/N hissed at him. “I have a lot on my mind.”

“Look, I’m tired, we just lost the game. I would like to rest somewhere.” Tendou’s strained voice made it harder for Y/N to continue saying their piece. Yet enough was enough. They wanted Tendou to know, they wanted him.

“And I’m tired. Every day, I’m tired of you brushing me off. Tired of you blatantly ignoring my presence as a whole. But I always thought that you needed your space. I always thought about you.” Every word came out quieter than the last. Unconsciously, Y/N was walking closer to Tendou. He stayed in his place, purposefully ignoring their gaze.

“I guess you’re gonna tell me that it was my fault that I didn’t approach you?” Tendou didn’t answer.

“Tori,” They were suddenly in front of Tendou. Their eyes were pleading and coupled with the cherished nickname, Tendou had a hard time turning them out. “What happened to us?”

Tendou’s eyes were shut tightly when Y/N got in front of him. Their hand twitched by her side, wanting to cup his cheek, to ground him with their presence. Surprisingly, it was Tendou who moved. Arms wrapping around them, clutching them close to his chest. It took everything in Y/N not to cry into his jersey. Instead, they put a hand on his chest.

It was steady, his heartbeat.

Absentmindedly, they pressed a hand to their own chest, checking their own heartbeat. It was hammering, frantic, the complete opposite of Tendou’s.

Things weren’t making sense until Tendou found his voice again.

“They say that when you hug the person you love, your heart gets all crazy and you start feeling dizzy and stuff.” His tone was melancholic, even though his hold on Y/N was intimate in itself. Tendou took their silence as a sign to continue. “I felt like that back then. Felt it every time we were close to each other, even.” He considered his next words carefully. But no amount of careful planning would make it sound better.  

“I don’t feel that now.”

The hand on his chest clutched onto his shirt tightly. Tendou placed his chin under their head, looking at nothing in particular. Y/N’s breathing became harsh and heavy. They struggled to speak.

“What do you feel, then?”

Tendou pulled away. His eyes held different emotions as he stared back into Y/N’s. Pity, regret, disappointment.

But not love.

“I don’t know.”

They slowly pushed themselves away from him, staring at the ground.

“Could I have prevented it?” Y/N was clinging onto the air. If he answered yes, they’d be filled with regret. If he answered no, they’d hate themselves.

“I don’t know,” Tendou repeated. It didn’t sound like words anymore. Just a bunch of noises coming out of his mouth.

Y/N glanced at his bandaged fingers. They reached out and grabbed them in their hands, observing each finger with a solemn look. Tendou let them, and they intertwined their hand with his.

“Could you ever love me again?” The question overflowed with a longing.

Tendou’s hand tightened on theirs. Those three words on his tongue already deep-seated into Y/N’s mind that he need not speak it into existence. Those three words that replaced the three that Y/N wanted to hear; the three that he wanted to be true.

author’s note: wowee it’s been awhile since i wrote angst lmao,, lemme know how u felt about this whole ride and if you want an epilogue or even a part 2 😳😳😳

#ficletsbynaria #user maso-cxhi #haikyuu!! #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu drabbles #tendou satori #haikyuu tendou #tendou x reader

[jlf23tumble]

Hey! Can you rec some roommates to lovers fics, if you haven't already done that? Extra points if it's really slow burn. I have a crush on my roommate and want to torture myself.

OH, MY GOD, MY LOVE, WE HAVE ALLLL BEEN THERE, JESUS. Okay, I’ve got you, bb!! Some of these are slow burn, some are short/angst/helpppppp, but all of them are in your current wheelhouse, godspeed, let the happy endings guide you to something similar!

your eyes on me (make me), by momentofclarity/ @gaycousinlarry, 3k, E.  Harry has had a particularly shitty week. His flatmate Louis might be able to help him out. (benefits city, but BENEFITS, you feel??)

No One But You Got Me Feeling This Way, by runaway_train/ @runaway-train-works, 3k, E. His jittery fingers drum lightly on the edge of the keyboard as he stares at the tiny digital clock in the top right hand corner of the screen, willing the seconds to tick by faster. Or the one where Harry has a particular desire that only Louis can fulfill. (angst CITY, you’ll feel this one, that plot twist!!)

hey, you see me down on the floor series, by ballsdeepinjesus, 7k, E. Louis leans in to fit his mouth close to Harry’s ear as he whispers, “Put ‘em on.” Or harry and louis are freshman roommates. they do some things. (my goddd, do I love rec’ing this author, and this is hot hot hot, requited sexi time, lingerie, college dorms, the works)

oh baby, baby, the reason i breathe is you, by ballsdeepinjesus, 9k, E. Kiss his button nose, making it scrunch up in that cute way it does when Harry makes a dumb joke. Kiss his collar bones, maybe nip them a little and soothe them with his tongue. But really, he wants to finally kiss his pretty pink lips he’s dreamed about for too long. He wants it more than anything. Or harry and louis are besties. harry wants a kid. (MPREG, BB, godddd, do I love this one for so many reasons, but yeah, roomies, platonic baby making...until it isn’t)

Cancel your reservations, no more hesitations, by 14hflight/ @silverfoxlouis, 10k, E. Harry’s face is flushed and he looks fucked-out and “I’m sorry!” Louis squeaks out and quickly backtracks, face red, because he wasn’t supposed to see that and Harry’s an alpha but he - Louis isn’t going to judge him. Or Louis is an alpha and so is Harry, but Louis helps him through his rut anyway. (a/a roommates, one of the very best of the genre, READ IT)

the way that you’re thrilling me, by @hereforlou, 12k, E. He didn’t understand how his friends—lovely, soft-skinned, sweet-smelling omegas—could actually want to touch them, or be touched by them. Maybe he was just immature. That’s what his friends said, anyway. Or, the one where Harry and Louis don’t enjoy sex - until they do. (the gaybo fest gave SO MUCH, and this is GREAT ONE, o/o roommates, gettin’ down to it)

Go Nowhere Tonight, by objectlesson/ @alienfuckeronmain, 12k, E. Wants it so fucking badly, and it would be one thing if he could just silently quarantine that part of himself and pine secretly, but instead he’s faced with fictionalized accounts of his and Louis’s nonexistent love life and photoshopped pictures of them being coupley every time he’s on the internet. Or, the aftermath of a very tense dinner party. (JESUS, the bible of pining roommate fic, help)

Talk Dirty to Me, by BriaMaria/ @briannamarguerite, 13k, E. The one where Harry is absolutely terrible at dirty talk so he asks his best friend to teach him. And the one where Louis knows it's a catastrophically bad idea but agrees anyway. (uh, yeahhhhh, it is as it says)

A Little Love (is better than none), by objectlesson/ @alienfuckeronmain, 15k, E. It’s supposed to be no strings attached sex, but Harry’s in love with beauty and tragedy and Louis Tomlinson so there might actually a few strings they’re not talking about. (a four and one, and the very first fic Phoenix wrote in this fandom, GOD BLESS)

You’re My River Running High, by alienharry/ @fourdrunksluts, 15k, E. It’s not that Harry doesn’t believe their relationship would be amazing, because it would be. It’s just, for all that they blend together perfectly, Harry isn’t sure that they’d be sexually compatible. Or the one where Harry moves in with Louis and doesn't know how to take a hint. (stereotypes, amirite? love how this fic turns it all on its head)

Make a Dime Go One Hundred, by @screwstyles, 17k, E. Friends to Lovers AU: Harry volunteers to help Louis experiment with bondage. Things don’t go exactly to plan. (oh, mannnnnnn, i hope this works out for you in a similar way!)

Autumn at My Window, by TheCellarDoor, 20k, M. A canon-compliant AU, in which Harry and Louis are both in the band and have been sharing flats and hotel rooms for nearly five years, but never made the leap past 'friends who are too close for comfort’. Featuring a lot of pining, Louis' addiction to Harry's scent, and a whole lot of sexual tension that might just snap loose when they decide to spend some time together all on their own. (yeah, this one is so visceral, the scents!!)

Instant Pleasure, by @100percentsassy, 25k, E. This fic has everything! College Roommates! Mario Kart! Julie Andrews! Demonstrative Pronouns! Flamboyant Dom Louis! Premature Ejaculation! Niall! (I didn’t write that, that’s the author note, and u know what? SHE IS 100% RIGHT ON THE MONEY, Jesus, the kink support alone is enough to rec it to the moon and back)

Born to Make You Happy, by objectlesson/ @alienfuckeronmain, 25k, E. Harry makes a quiet vow to himself that he will be the very best girlfriend Louis has ever had, even if he never actually gets to be Louis’s girlfriend. (yeah, boiiiiii, get that domestic servitude kink out)

I Just Want You to Stay, by @sadaveniren, 34k, E. That seemed to jolt Louis out of his thoughts and he nodded immediately, opening his arms up for Harry to dive into. “Holy shit, yes. Congratulations. Come here,” he wrapped his arms around Harry and cuddled him close, pressing his nose into Harry’s neck. “Holy shit,” he whispered.Or Louis and Harry have been roommates for four years, comfortable in their routine and their relationship. But all of that is about to change. (this is a recently completed a/b/o advent fic, and I hope against hope for a sequel)

Find You Home, by @kingsofeverything, 35k, E. When Louis lies to his family and says he’ll bring his new boyfriend home for Christmas, his best friend and roommate Harry agrees to play the part. It’s that, or be left alone over the holidays. What will happen? No one knows! Perhaps Santa will swoop in with a Christmas miracle. (oh, I bet I know, lmao, lots of great fic tropes ahoy!!)

Long Before We Both Thought the Same Thing, by allyasavedtheday, 36k, M.  Louis maybe, sort of realises he's in love with his best friend of almost twenty years and he maybe, sort of thinks that said best friend could love him back? A prequel to If You Asked Me If You Love Him (I'd Lie). (I’m such trash for part two, but yeah, part one! watch it unfold!!!)

we’re not friends, we could be anything, by nooelgallagher/yoursongonmyheart, 115k, E. Louis rolls his eyes. “Jokes require laughter, Curls.” Louis glances down at Harry’s thighs again, Christ. “Your pants must be so tight they’re restricting airflow to your brain.” Harry wipes a bead of sweat off his forehead. “Pretty sure yoga is supposed to increase airflow, blood flow, and all that,” he responds dryly, finally jumpstarting himself and walking away from Louis towards his own bedroom. Louis can’t help but stare at his broad back, still sheen with drying sweat, and his perky bum in the tight yoga pants. (those tags, the hat trick of the genre, tbh)

#fic rec #wishing you the very best my love!!!

[henry-hart]

The Danger Begins s1 ep1

I’m so glad I decided to rewatch this because it made me so happy!!!! (also, to keep you guys from getting uber annoyed with me, i’m just gonna lb on one big post like this from now on lolol)

first off

s1 henry was the cutest thing to ever exist. ever. my heart couldn’t take it bc he’s so grown now but in that first ep he’s this adorable little baby chick ajdksjslk

it was so incredible to see Siren on my screen. Like, within thirty seconds BAM there she was. i felt blessed, like she blessed my laptop

PIPER. MY OVERDRAMATIC DAUGHTER. I miss her “I am NOT okay!!!” catchphrase akdjlsj 

her “so we’re living like animals now” reply to being told to wait for her video to load---same girl, same.

Henry at 13 was a million times more proactive about the whole job search than I have ever been and I’m 22 sksjskjsk

his whole “I’m not good at anything. I’m a big ball of average”---I feel that lol

“No special skills needed.” “That’s me!!” 

okay one of Char’s first lines was “One day when you two are cleaning my pool bc you failed this algebra test...” and it doesn’t get more iconic than that

GOOCH. I HAVE MISSED YOU. 

Ray just coming in with all these ridiculous questions lolol poor Hen

“I’m 13. I’ll be 14....on my next bday.” ajskjsksljk

“Ah, so you’re aging sequentially. I like that. The name’s Ray.” “Nice to meet you, Ray. I’m Henry.” “You ask a lot of questions.” “I....don’t think....I’ve asked any questions...????” loved it

I laughed when Ray changed into his uniform and the zipper got stuck (that never happens again????)

“Did you have to melt my phone???” Hen, sweetie, hate to break it to you, but your phone gets broken.....preeeeetty much every ep (need me a bank account like that where I can steady get new iphones)

WhAt Do YoU mEaN nO sPeCiAl SkIlLs HeNrY???? yOu NoTiCeD tHe TaToO!!!!!! u smart lil cookie

Ray was all “I’m getting old. I can’t do this forever.” Two things: 1) RAY DID YOU JUST REFER TO YOURSELF AND OLD IN THE SAME SENTENCE??? 2) why is this never mentioned again??? Like, Ray got a sidekick to pass the mantle onto someone younger to keep protecting Swellview when he’s done. We’re like 4 yrs down the line, and they haven’t even hinted towards CM retiring??? (I know that would mean the end of the show, but they could at least bring it up every now and then)

OK. hated the toddler then. hate him now. 

Props to the props department (ha ha get it???) for all the junk in the store. It’s all so strange and doesn’t make sense and fits the show so well (also it seems like each ep has diff junk??? that’s impressive)

“They seem like nice kids.” “Yeah, they’re names are Jasper x Charlotte. I’ve known them ever since--” “Get rid of them.” “I’ll get rid of them.”

DAWWWW Jasper x his buckets :’))))

“I told you Canadian money upsets ppl!!!” Ah Char (I wonder if Riele comes up with some of these Canada jokes??)

OMG I FORGOT ABOUT HEN’S HORRIBLE TEST WARDROBE. IMAGINE IF THEY HAD KEPT ONE OF THOSE IDEAS AKSJLKSJ (there really wasn’t any need for a whole test wardrobe tho--just style an outfit to fits Ray’s. His obvs works out well for him) (I know that’s what they ended up doing lolol)

Okay, Ray’s “Oh man. I ate a lot of fruit.” line KILLS. ME. bc when i first watched this ep, every time the scene changed and Ray was shown w/ a diff fruit, I was like, “Why...is he eating so much fruit????” bc they’re all diff and he even eats a whole pineapple--outside peel and all. BUT I WAS THINKING IT AND THEN HE SAID IT AND IT MADE IT ONE MILLION TIMES FUNNIER.

LIL BB HEN IN HIS SUIT FOR THE FIRST TIME. I CRY. HE’S SO TINY AND HAPPY

“Chew gum. Blow bubble. Fight crime.” Ray wrote those instructions. I just know it. aksjskl

“And what does a single flashing light mean?” “Just to shoot me a text, you know, whenever.” aksjklsk

HENRY JUST GAVE HIS PLEDGE. THEN. HE. SAID. THE. ICONIC. “FEELS GOOD” FOR. THE. FIRST. TIME. I’M CRYING.

Hen not knowing how to get the tubes to work and just jumping up and down making noises aksjlsk

“Affirmative.” “That means ‘yes’.” “I got that.” and so the sass begins lolol love it

“Awwww no! That was my favorite bridge!”

“I hate my life and I am NOT okay.” i feel u Pipes

the sass is strong in those Hart kids. Siren x Jake can’t catch a break aksjslk

Siren. Hart. Is. So. Beautiful. her hair just looks so good this ep

“I’ll run away. I’ll do it.” ajskjskl Pipes chill

Jake....Siren...that’s....your son on the tv screen...like.....that’s literally your child’s face.....the product of both of your genes is right there.....plastered on the screen.....how do u....not....recognize him?????

“Two ppl said they might come.” “Who?” “Sidney Birnbaum and Oliver Pook.” “Ew.” “Those guys eat bugs.” “So? They’re people.” I just love the kid’s line delivery here lolol

I just want everyone to know that s1 Henry is the cutest. I already said it, but I’m saying it again. 

Henry panicking bc he doesn’t want C x J to keep reading about KD but he also doesn’t know what to do so he just throws a glass and smacks C’s phone out of her hand and clean across the room ajskjslk SAME

Jace was so.....twitchy in the first two seasons. He’s really mellowed---which I understand it happens when you get older---but it’s just so funny to see this little bean with all his crazy expressions and loud outbursts and rapid movements lolol

Hey Lelani? You’re hot (give me ukelele lessons pls)

“The toddler’s men stole 5,000 packages of diapers. Can you guess why?” “Uhhhh???” “To bombard the diapers with radioactive zenite particles.” “.....I would not have guessed that.”

also Ray getting lower to the ground as he talks and Hen just following is so funny to me. Ray was really extra in that first ep 

RAYMOND MANCHESTER HOW DARE YOU GET MAD AT HEN FOR WANTING TO GO TO HIS BFF’S BDAY PARTY INSTEAD OF FIGHTING CRIME. HE IS 13. AND YOU WOULD LATER CALL HIM UP WITH THE EMERGENCY ALARM PAST 12 AT NIGHT FOR CORNDOGS, SO I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT.

“Okay. Okay. It’s cool. You go to Jasper’s party. I’ll handle the toddler by myself. Don’t worry about it.” “Are you sure?” “Yeah. I’ve battled the toddler alone before--almost killed me, but whatever.” and u still want to take a 13 yr old out there??? Ray.

“No, I’m not bringing the muffins!” but u said u would

okay, but the news jumping from CM’s kidnapping to a report on why squirrels love nuts???? TOO tru (they really do that “here’s something serious. kids are dying. now here’s this pointless and meaningless crap” lolol)

“I can’t talk! I’m naked!” friends anyone??? (“You can’t come in. Ross is naked.” “Why’d you tell her I was naked???” “I couldn’t tell her I was naked. She’s allowed to see me naked.” “Why does anyone have to be naked???”) (sorry i just love friends akjslkjs)

I FORGOT WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO HAVE SIDNEY X OLIVER ON MY SCREEN. I LOVE THEM. 

I hate u toddler. just in case you were doubting.

Jasper unknowingly saving the day by downloading that sound effect app on Hen’s phone *claps for him*

Henry just....completely kicking butt on his second day???? That’s my son.

“Captain Man!” “Henry!” “It’s Kid Danger.” :))))) I’M SQUEALING. I’M SO PROUD OF HIM. HIS LIL POINT TO RAY AND THAT SMALL SMILE. TOO. CUTE. (also Ray just namedropping like they don’t have identities to protect)

“How do I get you out of there?” “I don’t know. This is the first time I’ve been stuck in a baby bouncer hovering over a bottomless ball pit.” CALL SUPERHEROES OUT, RAY. all these extravagant traps they’re caught in and they just....know what to do??? Doubtful. (bottomless pits are impossible, but you know lol)

Ray swinging around everywhere in that baby bouncer was hilarious alkjdlksj

that spitting device is the literal WORST thing i have ever seen. i freaking hate spit.

God, i wish the toddler had stayed tf down there in that ball pit. i wish that bottle had blown him to the center of the earth. (sorry i just really don’t like him akdjslj)

“What do we do with this? (the bottle bomb)” “We give the baby his bottle.” “Ah. Good call.” “Hey.” “Suuuuup.” “Hurry.” “Oh, right.” aksjlsksjl there are some really good moments in this ep

Ray shielding Henry was <33333 (it would be really messed up if he hadn’t considering he’s indestructible, but I like to think that he chose to)

AJKSJSKLSKSJLK HENRY’S FACE WHEN RAY TOLD HIM “GOOD JOB” WAS SOOOOOOO PRECIOUS. He looked so shocked. Like, “CM thinks I did a good job????” 

It’s like, Henry’s second day on the job, and they’re just namedropping right and left. Why be careful???? It’s not like they have secret identities or anything.....(they steady use their real names. i guess they don’t really have to worry. C must be the only smart person in Swellview bc no one else seems capable of figuring it out. I mean, not even his parents recognized him ajksjslk)

If you need any proof that Ray is a good guy, just watch this ep. His willingness to show up to J’s party despite only knowing Hen for like two days is a solid testament to his character. This is the Ray I know and love.

awwwwww poor Jasp. your party isn’t a flop. It’s about to be lit af because your bff is HENRY FREAKING HART, THE SWEETEST BOY TO EVER LIVE.

Ray, your excuse is horrible. “My van broke down across the street so I decided to come into this house and into this basement.” alskjlskj what is that????

“You’re CM!” “Thank you.” “You’re my hero!” “Of course.” oh Ray

Henry’s just watching J freak out over CM, watching how excited and happy J is and knowing he did that for him, and it’s just----my heart is all ajkdjlsjks

Char is the cutest in this ep. she’s fangirling over CM, and it’s so weird bc now she can’t stand him lolol

Hen x Ray pretending they don’t know each other. SO. PRECIOUS. Ray’s face is so sweet and they share this secret smile and just GAHHHH

J asking CM if he can hit him w/ a bball bat alksjlk “Remember kids: never do this to anyone but CM bc regular ppl could be badly inju--AHHHHHH.......I wasn’t done talking.” “Did that hurt?” “Yeah. But I’m okay.” the way Ray says yeah cracks me up bc it’s like, duh it hurt. it was a bat hitting my head lolol

“Hey, CM?” “Yes, boy?” “Would it be ok if Jasp texted a few friends and told them you were here at his party?” “Suuurrreeee. I love being used.” Ray kills me. cooper x jace have some of the best line delivery/comedic timing akdjslkj

*J is shaking CM’s hand* “Thank you so much! This is the best day of my life!” “Ha ha, are your hands always this sweaty?” “Yes sir.” “He takes medicine for it.” “Wellllll, it’s not working.” *wipes hand on J and leaves wet mark* ajsklj poor Jasper

Henry brought the muffins after all <33333 “Muffins.” “Yeah.” (you can tell Jace x Sean were already good friends. so cute.)

Hen x Char got Jasp the bucket from the shop that Gooch wouldn’t let him have. Dawwwwww

“For awhile there, I thought you weren’t gonna come.” “Come on, man. I’ll always be there for you.” then. they. hug. they’re. so. cute. i. love. solid. friendships.

HENRY’S LAST LITTLE LOOK AT THE PARTY BEFORE HE LEAVES IS THE BEST THING EVER. THE LITTLE NOD HE MAKES LIKE, “YEAH. THIS IS GOOD.” LIKE, HE’S PERFECTLY OK WITH MISSING OUT SO LONG AS EVERYONE ELSE IS HAVING FUN. AHHHHHH. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. :)))))) <3333333

that was a perfect way to end an ep

<3

I’m glad I watched this. I’ve forgotten most of the earlier episodes which is a crime because they’re so good. It was hard to see Jace so little when he’s so grown now!!!!! My heart couldn’t take it. But lil Henry is precious and I love him. Stay tuned for more rewatches!!!! xoxoxox

#sorry if this was long or incoherent #it was a wild ride #i had to stop watching halfway thru bc of some stupid crap going on #but i finished and here we are #this was fun #watching hd makes me happy #i'm gonna do this for every ep #maybe #aksljlks #hd rewatch #the danger begins #episode synopsis

[petaldancing]

top 5/bottom 5 works

rules: tag the person who tagged you, always post the rules, answer the questions, and add the date!

what are your five most popular works?

what are your five least popular works?

are you surprised? why?

tag six people to do this next! (thank you @brella for the tag!! i’m just gonna tag @robinparties @freikuugel @algometer and any other writer friends!)

gonna dig through my ao3 and ffnet accounts for extra fun in comparing the two since all the fics were posted at the same time on both sites? and will be only listing fics above 2k words!

Top 5 AO3 (@petaldancing) - based on kudos

When Autumn Comes I Still Think of You (Haikyuu!!, Natsu / OC) I want to say I’m surprised (because Natsu is a child in the manga, and I paired her with an OC in this !ten years later fic) but at the same time, I’m not, because the HQ fandom is so huge compared to the fandoms I usually write for so there was a higher # of readers who could’ve found this fic I guess. I’m happy there’s so much positivity for Natsu loving gals and big brother Kageyama though (:   

In Darkest Red (Psycho Pass, Yayoi / Shion) Psycho Pass is a p small fandom I think, so yeah, very surprised to see this here? Am attributing it to the fact that this is a relatively older fic (it shows!), been on the site longer, and is of a relatively popular pair from the show.  ** the previous fic has 346 kudos, this one has 196! that clear gap created by the sheer size of the HQ fandom.. wow...

You Have Made Me Brave (SDR2, Pekoyama / Kuzuryuu) Big fandom. Popular pair. Sad story with an even more heartwrenching ending. I cracked the code. 

The Rain Is Trying to Tell Me Something (Hyouka, Houtarou/Chitanda) Oh hey there you are!! The fic that I’m most satisfied with and feel the most complete about! Burdge drew fanart for this (!!! IM STILL IN AWE AND SHOCK) and that probably helped a lot in getting eyeballs on this. Am happy that this fic capped off my fanfic writing three years ago and am glad that despite Hyouka’s smallish fandom, it’s broken into the Top 5 (: 

Like the Mountains (Haikyuu!!, Yui/Daichi) The HQ fandom reasserts its dominance as the biggest fandom despite this being a het fic hohoho. I think this may have been because it was one of the earlier fics written about Yui/Daichi, just as more people started liking the pair?

Top 5 FFnet (@thundercow) - based on favs

The Rain is Trying to Tell me Something  Yay! I have much older fics on this account so that this still comes out top is a happy surprise for me!

Mignionette (Persona 3, feMC + Junpei) (not on AO3) THIS is a surprise. It’s Old! You can tell by my excessive descriptions and emphasis on symbolism. And my old habit of just breaking a fic into distinct scenes, focusing on characters looking inwards rather than their dynamics w one another. I think a lot of people just love the feMC and Junpei’s social link and I am glad. 

Streets in Summer (Anohana, Yukiatsu/Tsuruko) (not on AO3) WHY IS THIS HERE!! WOW!! The Anohana fandom is TINY! At the same time, I think it was around these fics that I started coming into the writing style I have today. Perhaps that could be a factor too? Or just that everyone, like me, had to consume more yukiatsu/tsuruko content after that open ending.

Telling Honest Lies (Anohana, Yukiatsu/Tsuruko) (not on AO3) Same as above! WoaHHhhHH

Today He Holds Her Gaze (Hyouka, Satoshi/Mayaka) Am surprised this has more favs than Queens Can’t Sleep (126 vs 58). Probably because this has a happy ending? But I do think I rushed this too much. If I had written this today, I would’ve added another 10k words to flesh out Satoshi’s conflict. Would they still sleep together? For sure. I am a flawed human being. I even made them do it in ‘The Rain Is Trying To Tell Me Something’. I rmb a couple of ppl not liking that but WELP i’m unapologetic satomaya trash. You can’t help me. I’m hopeless. But if I could rewrite the cringe-y scene here, I hope I’d be able to make it more subtle and graceful.

Bottom 5 AO3

the colour of youth (Hyouka drabble collection) It’s here because 1) I posted this this year and who reads hyouka fanfic in 2017?? and 2) no one expected me to update my ao3, not even myself.

Venus Rising (Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun, Shizuku / Natsume) Pacific Rim AUs are not unpopular. But... a PR AU of a shoujo manga?? Yeah. Also, the main pair was Shizuku/Natsume, rather than Shizuku/Haru (ew) or Sasayan/Natsume (mmm yeahh).

Flowers Without, Will (Hyouka, Satoshi/Mayaka) Old fic, small fandom! 

Colour-coded For Your Convenience (Hyouka, Satoshi/Mayaka/Houtarou?) Oh nooo. I not comfortable w ‘genderbending’ now! It’s a very simplistic and uninteresting way of exploring character dynamics, reinforces the gender binary.... and I didn’t even change their personalities much in this fic!! Also, the name changes are... a cross I will have to bear for the rest of my life. There are nuanced ways to write and explore character’s gender identities but this wasn’t one of them. It deserves to be here haha.

You & Mystery (Hyouka, ensemble detective AU) Oh man. I have a soft spot for this story that was inspired by the Hyouka ED. But, again, the unsurprising result of a small fandom!

Bottom 5 FFnet 

But Even Iron Trembles (Persona 5, Hifumi/Makoto) New fic! Surprised that it’s not in the bottom 5 for AO3, but that’s prob cause the P5 fandom is v active over there now. I hope it slowly gets out of this ranking though because I am pretty happy with how it turned out especially since I haven’t written fic for A While. Easily the longest oneshot fic I’ve written too, so that could be a reason why. 

We Roar In Our Own Voices (Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun, Hogwarts AU) Oh man. Shoujo manga + AU combi again I guess. This feels like it would really benefit from a rewrite because I love the ladies featured here. 

The Stories We’ll Sing (Penguindrum, Yuri/Tabuki)  (not on AO3) WOAHH!! I wrote this?? DANG. Didn’t even remember till I saw this on the page haha. Also I think no one really bothers w yuri and tabuki so yeah it’s not surprising. 

Colour-coded For Your Convenience  Yes. Stay here. 

Land Breaking (Kingdom Hearts, Terra)  (not on AO3) Well, hey there lil guy. You’re an angsty fic from my early days, aren’t you? 18y/o me reeling from the BBS ending and needing to write it out from Terra’s POV, which everyone knows already from playing the game haha. 

wow thank u @brella for tagging me. i just relived my younger fandom days through my fic archive... and i didn’t even look at my OTHER ffnet account! haha

date: 16 aug 2017

#brella #wow..... younger me had a lot of time huh......

[frankfoo3-blog]

Week 06: Something Awesome Krypton Game Level 0 - 4

Level 0 -> 1 

Okay so the first level, I need to decode a password that’s in base64

I don’t really have access to linux rn, so I logged back into bandit33 and made a new tmp folder

I did echo ‘base64code’ > text.txt

base64 -d text.txt and it spat out “KRYPTONISGREAT”

Cool I’m in :D 

Level 1 -> 2 

I just googled a rot13 decoder and pasted it into a decoder and got the password out 

Level 2 -> 3 

So we need to decode caesar cipher

We’re given a program that encodes any message using the same caesar key

How about ... we encode the alphabet, that way we can figure out how to work backwards and break the cipher 

So when I input ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

I get MNOPQRSTUVWXYZABCDEFGHIJKL

Cool, it’s been shifted 13 times, isnt this just like rot13 from the previous level??

CAESARISEASY OMQEMDUEQMEK

Well, got the password 

Level 3 -> 4 

Hmm, this level is trickier

They gave us the encrypted string and we need to decode it

It’s using a subsitution cipher like the previous level 

They didn’t give us the encryption function

They did give us 3 other encoded messages, all encoded with the same key

I wrote a tiny python script that takes in all the encrypted messages, it just goes through each character and counts them in a dictionary

Frequency Analysis :)) 

S 0.12932501418037437 Q 0.09642654566080544 J 0.08536585365853659 U 0.07288712422007941 B 0.06976744186046512 N 0.06806579693703914 C 0.06437889960294951 G 0.06437889960294951 D 0.05955757231990925 Z 0.03743618831537152 V 0.0368689733408962 W 0.036585365853658534 M 0.024390243902439025 Y 0.0238230289279637 T 0.02127056154282473 X 0.02013613159387408 K 0.019001701644923426 E 0.018150879183210438 L 0.017016449234259785 A 0.01559841179807147 F 0.007941009642654566 I 0.005388542257515599 O 0.003403289846851957 H 0.0011344299489506524 R 0.0011344299489506524 P 0.0005672149744753262

These were the results, also manually looking through the encoded messages, BB, SS, UU appears a few times 

I wrote another script that has the krypton 4 message stored in a 2D list

(2D because I have a counter for each letter so that they only get changed once)

I just type in 2 letters like SE, and it changes all the S’s in the message to E’s and prints it out 

I messed around a bit and got this out:

WELLDONEJDELETELXOMNYOUUWONDCUANMJE

well done delete you 

hmmm 

Okay... thinking about this logically, S is the most common letter, so S = E? 

I think lying is bad karma, so I’ll admit it here that I got frustrated and just googled substitution cipher decoder 

https://planetcalc.com/8047/

This one tries to decode it without knowing the key

After a couple of runs, it did reveal the word LEVEL and something like WASS

And after some tinkering around with my python script I ended up with WELLDONETHELEVELYOURPASSWORDISBRUTE

But the password didn’t work (for a funny reason)

So I ended up going onto https://www.dcode.fr/monoalphabetic-substitution w/ manual decryption mode 

I pasted in one of the found encoded messages and using the few letters that I think I had decoded, eventually I figured out some of the key mapping, by figuring out these words:

ZQSUQN 

CAESAR 

ZNLYJBENQYDL

CRYPTOGRAPHY

SGZNLYJCBG

ENCRYPTION 

JSZDGCHMS 

TECHNIQUE

ZCYDSN

CIPHER

UDCXJ

SHIFT

From there eventually I broke the entire code 

QAZWSXEDCRFVTGBYHNUJMIKOLP ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

And I figured out the message was in fact

WELLDONETHELEVELFOURPASSWORDISBRUTE

I was right... but the funny thing is I was trying to log in to the wrong level, so yeah :( 

#Week06 #SomethingAwesome