#HHHHHHH OH MY GOD
tbh for a long time i really resented the advice "pick a partner that you would want to raise kids with" because i don't want kids and i hated that all relationships had to come from this place of procreation-first. what about toxic friendships, after all.
it took me a really long time to realize it's a bastardization of good advice.
many of us are recovering from being raised by parents/caregivers that were in toxic relationships or were toxic themselves. we learned behaviors, thoughts, and patterns from these people, and we spend our adult lives untangling and dismantling the harm done to us.
the advice should be - is this the person you'd want a child to emulate? is this a person you'd want a child even around? is this a person you can trust alone with a kid - any kid, mind you - and know that the child is safe, looked after, loved? is the relationship you're in one you'd want children to see and repeat in their adult lives? or is the relationship one you hope they won't follow, after all?
to be honest, i knew when i was in a bad relationship. i'd tell people - i know, i know, i should break up with him. i know, i know. she's not actually a good friend. but the reality was that it's incredibly difficult to escape the-devil-you-know. it was easy enough to train myself to be okay with it; i have very little regard for the-self and the process of cutting people out was simply too threatening for my mental state.
but i wouldn't put a younger version of myself through the same thing. i'd picture her in the same situation. i would tell her, broody as she is - leave, you're happier outside of it, never let anyone talk to you like that, you're worth more than this. i'd tell her when you let him cross your boundaries, the fault is his, but you need to understand you're rewarding bad behavior if you don't do something about it. i would wish, fervently, i could restart the relationship and do it all differently, be-young-again.
and then i realized: i am the younger version of myself. a future version of myself is begging me to leave. to take my happiness seriously. i am a kid to fifty-year-old-me. and i need to take my own advice. it's okay if that sets me up to grieve.
pick a partner that you would trust a younger version of yourself with. pick friends you'd want your younger self to grow up alongside. pick love that makes you feel like you want everyone to experience in their life and feel with others, something magical and shareable and full of mist. pick a love that feels like you can grow in it. pick a love like: i will be proud of this.
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Me: hates the Snowgrave route so fucking much, gets sick to my stomach at the thought of playing it or even watching someone play it
Also me: obsessively looks at Snowgrave fanart and endlessly theorizes on what happens post-Snowgrave, thinks about the Kris-Player, Noelle-Player, Kris-Noelle and Susie-Noelle dynamics for that route
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So like - Whenever I’m too busy to consume new media and hyperfixate on it as I usually do, my older cherished hyperfixations come in and carry me through the extended work time, which is lovely, because they are my beloveds, and I absolutely love thinking about them
this is a problem because suddenly my brain really wants to draw something for them, and god, they deserve it, and !! I’m finally in the right headspace to do it- but - I never g e t to because this only happens when I’m way too busy
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watched episode 4 last night and can I just say KIM JUNWAN DESERVES THE BIGGEST HUG :"<
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imagine this man right here:
saying this: "Everything is going to be alright darling I love you."
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bark bark woof
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I’ll never get over the fic I read where Crowley said he wanted to live in a cottage with a pear orchard ￼
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Also I forgot to mention that this morning as I was doin lazy makeup for work, I took my gel eyeliner and put a lil dot on the side of my nose as a fake beauty spot, in the same place that Jamie has his 🥺💖🥺💖🥺💖🥺
LOOK LOOK RIGHT THERE, THERE'S THAT CUTE SPOT 🥺💖🥺💖🥺💖🥺💖🥺💖🥺💖🥺
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idk why the thought of bokuto with an oral fixation like me just crumbled me to the floor...
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Hhhhh they're really cool... I like them... 👉👈
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forgot to mention that i'm going to bed good night
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women.......truly are ethereal um
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it takes a lot for me to say this but... I Think This Was My Favorite Leif Episode.
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hello :) i hope you have a good day today <3 if you do udg, can i please have a toko and komaru who kind of adopted the WoH and took them on vacation and they're just causing chaos (also maybe nagito's there as the wine aunt?) sorry if that's too long/complicated-
Hello dear! Thank you! I hope you have an amazing day nonnie
I do in fact write for UDG! Its not too long at all and i think this is a really cute idea too so I'll be right on it 💜 sorry its so bad and short-
Toko wasnt having it.
She kept trying to point out the holes in Komarus plan but Komaru didn't listen "C'mon Toki it'll be fun!"
"I-i th-thought i told you not to c-call me that.." Toko groaned, messing with her fingers as she still tried to protest.
In the end it was a pointless fight for Toko, Komaru dragging the small team of warriors, Toko, and Nagito to the "beach" for the day. I mean, to be fair, Nagito didnt really have a say in it either but he didnt seem to mind.
To say the least, it wasnt half bad. Maybe a little chaotic but i mean when is it not??
There may have been complaints but they got shut down by Komaru and sometimes even Nagito as well
Toko and Nagito stayed on the shore of the water while Komaru and the kids played in the water. There would have been conversation between the two but Toko quickly shut it down, telling him to be quiet or shut up. Nagito took that for an answer and obeyed.
Of coure Komaru splashed Toko and Nagito both, encouraging the kids to do the same. Which didnt end very well because Toko ended up switching and everyone including Nagito got a lecture from Syo.
All and all it was a pretty good day for all of them, regardless of Syo's lectures and angry snapping. Even Toko herself seemed to have a decent time, though she'd probably deny it. Syo not so much lmao
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soup is just... so good
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im on episode 14 of critical role and im just.... this shit is so good how did i put it off for this long
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Thinking about Daddy Gattina?
Well arent you sweet. Why dont you come sit in my lap tesoro?
Mmhmm 🥺❤️ Been thinking bout you a lot, Daddy… and you mean it? Yes please, I’d love to sit in Daddy’s lap 🥺💕
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Mmmmmmm because I'm feeling soft and sappy (I mean when am I not 🥺🥺🥺) I wanna talk about moments that would be a big deal in my relationship with Ralph 🥺💖💖 Of course we would have the typical big milestones like confessions and first kiss, but I love thinking about how the first time he sees me with my hair down would be a big moment, especially for him 🥺💖 Like maybe we'd be watching the sunrise together from the roof of the Niceland apartment when he brings up how he's only ever seen my hair up in a bun and asks what it looks like down, and at first I'm too bashful and nervous that he'll think it looks ratty and gross when it's down, but after a bit of playful goading on and assurance that he won't be say it looks bad, he finally convinces me to take my bun down.
When I do so and give him the opportunity to see my brown naturally curly hair hanging down past my shoulders and slightly covering my face, with the morning sunlight shining through and giving it an almost heavenly glow, he's downright starstruck, the only thing he says being a quiet "wow" as he stares at me with a warm blush in his cheeks. Just from looking at him I can tell how in awe he is, and even though I quickly get incredibly bashful over his reaction, I shyly ask what he thinks. He nervously clears his throat to do his best to get his thoughts together before stuttering out "It... it looks good!" There's a brief slightly awkward pause before he reaches up to gently push a few pieces of hair from my face, getting me to look up at him and see the soft, genuine smile on his face as he simply says, "I really like it that way."
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its the c'mere combined w the thought of someone pulling you closer to them by your belt loops for me 🥰🥰🥰🥰
. . .................... . . . . . ..... .. .... ...
i am so angry at you right now . so angry .
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how to write e-mails in german without sounding too casual or literally just straight up fucking awkward lmao
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