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gunsatthaphan · 2 years

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no one asked for this but I’m still processing everything from today lol so here’s a quick rundown of my thoughts on all the series that were announced today (in chronological order; BLs (or the ones with bl elements) are marked with a 🏳️‍🌈and my favorites with a 🌟)

let me know what yall think!!!!

- The Three GentleBros: I’m definitely digging the LukeTayGun trio (and also the girls) but the mom is so toxic lol rip. The story is not bad though and it could be interesting to see them break free from her but I’m not sure yet. this could go either way. oh and also they definitely have different dads lol.

- Unidentified Mysterious Girlfriend: this is giving me Stranger Things vibes lol and looks like Nanon is back in the sci-fi genre which I’m not mad about cuz we know he’s good at this kind of stuff but I was still hoping to see him in something different again. Him and Namtan could be a good duo though.

- Star and Sky: I was a bit confused by the trailer bc.... it’s like 2 series in 1? And the stories are back to back? or what. I’m not understanding the concept yet lol but lemme tell you the MekMark part of the story blew me away omg. It’s giving major ATOTS vibes but I love these kinds of stories so much. So I’ll definitely be looking forward to that. JoongDunk look good as well although Joong’s character seems a bit stiff. Hopefully he will losen up a bit. Really excited for this one nonetheless! (🏳️‍🌈🌟)

- Home School: Another dark school-themed series with the usual suspects lol. Not gonna lie I’m a bit over the “students uncovering the school’s dark secret” trope that we’ve seen a billion times already so I don’t know if I’ll be watching this one. The cast is good though.

- Cupid’s Last Wish: We all knew this was coming but EarthMix in a rural setting is just a match made in heaven lmao. I’m still unsure about the body swap plot bc I still hate those but maybe these 2 have the power to change my mind. What I like though is the friends-to-enemies-to-lovers trope that I’ve never seen before. Also I feel like this will showcase Mix’s acting talent and I’m def ready for that. (🏳️‍🌈🌟)

- Oops! Mr. Superstar Hit on Me: Absolutely hate this one. Not feeling the story at all which is a bummer because I was excited to see Jane in something new. But this is making me all kinds of uncomfortable. thank you next.

- My dear Donovan: the visuals of the cast are not bad but other than that I’m not intrigued. next.

- The Warp Effect: I had to watch this 3 times to fully grasp everything that’s going on lmaooo - and Geez it’s really a lot. I feel a bit intimidated dksfds. To be honest though I can’t say I don’t appreciate them being so shameless about sexuality and sex education lol. Although the line “I want to get pregnant for my girlfriend, can I have your sperm?” will now haunt me forever lmao. So yeah this could either go well or backfire. We shall see. (🏳️‍🌈)

- The Eclipse: LITERAL MASTERPIECE. Literally this is my personal highlight out of all the trailers. KhaoFirst is something I never expected but omg this looks amazing. It’s yet another school-themed plot which has me a bit weary but this hits different. I don’t understand the plot yet and I’m glad I don’t because this trailer doesn’t tell us anything but rather gives us a vibe and that vibe is ✨ immaculate ✨ I’m so obsessed with it already. First and Khao are two of my absolute favorites and they’re gonna kill it together I know it. A+++ I need it ASAP. (🏳️‍🌈🌟🌟🌟)

- Good Old Days: Gmmtv seems to have a thing for 3 things: 1. nostalgia 2. time travelling 3. throwing BW in the same series and purposefully not putting them together lmaoo. All of this is so funny to me you have no idea. But anyway this didn’t really have a grip on me. Next.

- Never Let Me Go: YOOOO this is insane. The only way I was imagining PondPhuwin to come back was FUTS2 which I was already mentally preparing for. But THIS?????? Holy SHIT. I’m on the floor. The darker theme fits them SO well. I was also surprised to see Chimon in this but he fit in effortlessly as well. I literally have no words. This is gonna be epic. (🏳️‍🌈🌟)

- 10 Years Ticket: Off and Ohm could be a reason for me to watch this but other than that I’m not quite on board.

- You Fight and I Love: YES I like this one!!!! I’m digging the JossLove ship already and also this is little Mick’s first role and he’s adorable 🥺 lol. This is going on my watchlist for sure. (🌟)

- Midnight Motel: I would consider watching this for Off cuz he’s serving in this but I’m not a fan of the plot. So probably not.

- Moonlight Chicken: I might’ve cried while watching this omfg. Another highlight for sure. The vibes in this are phenomenal like yes give me ANOTHER EarthMix series but this time make it sexy kjsdhfds. First and Khao are also in this which makes it even better. And there seems to be a deaf character if I saw correctly which is pretty cool as well. 11/10 obsessed already. (🏳️‍🌈🌟🌟🌟)

- Dirty Laundry: “Is my happiness a guy or money?” I mean...... mood lmao. This looks super chaotic and I can’t tell if it’s the good kind of chaotic yet lol. Jennie and Foei could be an interesting match lol but remains to be seen.

- Vice Versa: EH. another body swap plot... hm. But will I still watch it solely bc OhmNanon are in it? the answer is yes. Also it’s a JittiRain adaption so this could end up being better than I expect. Also I really like the soundtrack!!! Bring it. (🏳️‍🌈)

- P.S. I Hate You: Not really feeling the plot but this has a potential BL sideplot so..... maybe? (🏳️‍🌈)

- My School President: If I took my glasses off and watched this trailer in full blur, I would probably think it’s *insert one of the 524 high school bls here* - Didn’t we say we’ve had enough of those? lol. Not sure if I’m into it yet. (🏳️‍🌈)

- Devil Sister & Astrophile: these 2 are yet another edition of “how can we make it clear to these fuckers that brightwin is cancelled?” lmao. Not really digging either of them though. bye.

- You Are My Favorite: WELLWELLWELL----- what do we have here. This is for sure the shocker of the night lmao. Like holy hell. If there’s one thing I didn’t expect then it’s this. A little birdie (aka @sunsetknowsaboutyou) told me that this was supposed to be MikeToptap’s first series and idk what to do with that information HHHHH. Anyway please don’t hate me but after watching the trailer again, the plot actually does not look too bad..... I don’t know. I’m still confused about what to think of this. UGH. Anyway moving on for now. (🏳️‍🌈)

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So yeah all in all I’m still overwhelmed lol but my top 3 are for sure The Eclipse, Moonlight Chicken and Never Let Me Go. EarthMix, PondPhuwin and FirstKhao were most def the winners of the night and I can’t wait to cancel all my plans I had for 2022 for them (what plans u ask? bold of u to assume i had any to begin with).

sorry this got so long. Send me an ask or drop a reply with your thoughts! I’m curious 💜

xxx

#gmmtv #gmmtv 2022 #earthmix #pondphuwin #firstkhao #bl drama #thai bl #upcoming bl #reviews #thoughts #this took me 3 hours lmaooo #bye

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crane-on-a-crane · 2 years

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dying light 2 rambles [SPOILERS]

holy shit.

i don't even know where to begin.

dying light 2 is everything dying light wasn't.

the characters? you get actually attached to them, and having their life in your hands literally made me genuinely scared and upset multiple times throughout. hakon trapped me for the GRE key and i was so upset because i didn't mean to tell people that he killed lucas, aiden did it on his own. it genuinely made me almost shed a tear both in frustration and the fact that finally this hot man is going to kill me. quinn can vouch that i was really emotional about it LMFAOOO. and the "let lawan detonate the missiles" or "save lawan" BROKE ME. i sat there for a good 10 minutes trying to decide, i love lawan but i knew she wouldn't want the city to die just for her. luckily hakon saved her before she blew up lmao, at least that man did something useful instead of being a jackass. i'm genuinely glad mia died a few hours after we escaped, because she pissed me the fuck off i hate her sm. ik it isn't her fault that waltz was a weirdo and a selfish cocksucker cunt but she should have held that damn key with a tighter grip omg.

the story? absolutely amazing. i'm a sucker for scientific experiments and shit like the GRE. it's genuinely engaging, i have a short attention span and it's hard for anything to get my attention for long periods of time but this game did. i played nonstop for 7 hours today. i've literally never done that before. not with any game or show even if i enjoyed it. i'm ngl i did miss a few details out from the story but honestly i have like the worst memory LMAO.

the voice acting? jonah scott BLEW IT OUT OF THE PARK. every line he delivers is rich with emotion and just rounds aiden's character out perfectly. he put his whole jonussy into it, every line, every effort, everything.

the soundtrack? AMAZING. although the fight music got tedious and annoying for a bit, it's so good regardless. the dynamic music roped me into parkouring more than i intended to numerous times. and fighting renegades to "empowering yourself" was heavenly.

compared to dying light 1? it is dying light on fucking steroids or a drug that makes everything a billion times better than it was in the first game, idk i don't watch euphoria idk drug stuff. it's different than dying light, expanded on the universe & added things i didn't even know dying light 1 was lacking. the environments and seeping with life at every corner. the new infected wasn't exactly my type but so cool nonetheless. combat and boss fights did not feel as tedious as dl1, there was tons of variety so you weren't just killing demolishers over and over. and the variety in quests is so cool. like there's fighting, climbing, puzzles, finding stuff. tons of variety and didn't feel boring or tedious at all. although i sucked at the like plug in electrical thing LMAOO it took me way too long.

overall? beyond my expectations, i had my doubts and my grievances (like the HUD, story, a new protag that's not kyle) but once i actually played it, these things didn't bother me. i still have the health bars activated and in fact they are so useful i love them. and yeah, there's bugs and stuff but who tf cares? i only encountered a few like npcs in cutscenes, rotating heads, etc but honestly it did not bother me at all. the combat can get a little tedious, and i could not parry/timed block to save my life, i relied on the dodge TOO MUCH but it's still fun! not like dying light but i enjoyed it none the less.

final thoughts? HOLY SHIT IT'S SO GOOD. i'm def gonna replay it a bunch to get different endings, hopefully i'll get my happily ever after in a poly relationship with hakon and lawan.

#dying light 2 review #dying light 2 spoilers #dl2 spoilers

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smithsparker · 2 years

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REVIEW: EVERY MONTH OF 2021

RULES: post your favorite and/or most popular post from each month this year (it’s okay to skip months!) ❣ i was tagged by ali @evelynhugostjames !! thanku sm for tagging me ali!

JANUARY: my most popular post this month was this kieutou gifset which honestly, they deserve it, i loved this clip sm 💞 but my favourite one (and the one i need to shout out skjdskf) is this set i made of skam nl season 1, which... holy shit that took me so long skdjkd i almost quit like 3 times while doing it <3 also special mention to this post which was my first fic ... ever?? so that was cool :D

FEBRUARY: in february i started to rlly get into doctor who so i made this rose tyler gifset which blew up like. Very quickly lmao, so that is my most popular post this month. and this month druck season 6 also ended, and i wanted to make something for that bc i really really loved it, so i made this set :) and honestly it's still one of my faves ive made today! i love fatou sm 🥺💞

MARCH: i finaly started to find some different fandoms to gif for other than skam: this month i made a lotr gifset! which did pretty well for the amount of effort i put into it aldjskd and i do love it but this month i made another super long & complicated gifset for skam nl season 2 akdjskd you'd think i'd learn from the first time... but i love how it turned out so that is a win at least!

APRIL: my birthday month! 🎈 funnily enough i did not make a post for my own birthday but i made my favourite this month for someone else's birthday which... was posted on my own birthday skdjskd dodie is my fav musician and her bday is one day before mine! my most popular post this month (and ever actually!!) was this parallel between doctor who and much ado about nothing - david tennant & catherine tate are such a great duo skdjsj

MAY: alt er love week time!! this was such a fun week and it gave me both my most popular and my favourite post: this elu set was most popular (and also very ugly in my opinion oops skdhsjd) and this druck season 5 one was my favourite!! i really like the colouring 💞

JUNE: this month i made very little content skdjksd but i think even if i'd made more, this skamverse pride month set would still be my favourite. it's also the most popular post this month! which it totally deserves 🌈

JULY: man, u can see that it's summer skdjsd in july i also made v little content, i only had one post this month lmaooo this month i watched the doctor who 50th anniversary special which i loved and i loved clara a lot, so i made this gifset! i do still like it a lot 🥺

AUGUST: this month's posts are both non-skamverse! who am i! lmaoo but for real, i think this month i really got into giffing other fandoms which i am so glad about bc it just opened a lot of doors for me :) so august's most popular post was this twelve/river set (theyre the superior doctor/river pairing change my mind😌) and my favourite was this malina + bookquotes set ⭐

SEPTEMBER: school time again which meant less time for gifsets, but it also meant alt er back to school week!! both posts are from that week: this one of our favourite dumbass lucas lallemant was most popular, and my favourite was this one of liv and isa, which was my first time working with overlays (and it looked rlly well if i may say so myself hehe) ❣

OCTOBER: in october i, again, didn't have time for a lot of gifsets, so this time it's just one: my most popular and my favourite post was the isi inci main character moment walk! this one kinda blew up which i love bc xe deserves it 💜

NOVEMBER: only one post again lmao in november i took some time off bc school was absolutely shit, but i still found some time to gif luckily! and i am v happy about that because honestly, the eva mohn gifset i made this month... might be my own fav ever i love it so so muchhh !!

DECEMBER: this month i did a lot more!! my most popular gifset was a hit with the wlws as far as i know - yaz in her 1900s outfit from doctor who flux... it was terrible to colour but so worth it skfjskdh 💞 my favourite post was this isa keijser set with orla gartland lyrics, two of my fav things and i think it looks rlly good!! plus a special mention to my very first malina fic, u love to see it 😌❣

okay this has become VERY long alsjakd but i hope this will also be fun to look back on later 💞 i'm tagging @ramonapest, @belloves, @lucasotteli, @fatoujallovv and @isiinci!! feel free to ignore and i apologise if you've done it already - i am late to the party as always skjdskjf

#ali 💖#thanku sm for tagging me!! i had a lot of fun with this <3 #tag games

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comfortkitty · 4 years

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WAIT HOLY SHIT PEOPLE FOLLOWED ME HERE?? AHJDJS

SO SORRY FOR GOING SILENT FOR AGES HELLO!!! if u wanna see a lot of my recent art my ig/twitter are @/muttbites!!!

literally only got on my old tumbly to make a post on a side blog n then i see that trans corgi post i made blew tf up!! n i got followers!! sorry to keep u waiting for nothing for so long lmaoo

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swearronchanel · 5 years

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the durrells 4.03

relive that hilarious mess right here

Louisa working on her Greek, I’m proud

SPIROS WIFE HOLY SHIT LMAO

I KNEW SHE WAS COMING BUT I WASNT READY FOR HER IN THE FIRST DAMN SCENE

SHES PRETTY & STYLISH TOO DAMN IT

YOU KNOW NOTHING GOOD CAN COME FROM INVITING THEM LOUISA LMAO 🤦🏼‍♀️

Who are these new random boarders at Casa Durrell??

Aw this kid is so cute

Margo casually pulling up to Prue and Geoffrey’s LMAO they’re freaks too but I love it

“I’d like to learn to be more normal” me

Luga asking “me?” My heart wtf I love her

“I know, I hate shopping too” REALLY LES

Leslie just can’t be Larry 😂 Louisa needs Larry so he can say something ridiculous but still true

Louisa knows this is gonna go terribly, I can’t wait? It’ll be a train wreck but the kind you can’t look away from

I am so anxious ?? There’s too much tension already LMAO

AND LESLIE BEING OBVIOUSLY ANXIOUS LMAO

But also Dimitra is serving a look 🤷🏼‍♀️

“Then suddenly there she was by the hanging cheeses” 😂😂

“Why are you telling me that?” LMAO why is this hilarious but also making ME panic

They’re bringing Roger omg lol ofc

Theo IS perfect in every way, I agree

I’d be his mediocre trophy wife

His face tho omg he’s probably going throw up

“Either the clock is very loud or Dorset is very quiet” LMAO MARGO is funny Ok!

Pru angrily knitting is a mood

“I thought Basil was a homosexual” LMAO OK SO DID I TBH

“Don’t try to make me look like the weird one” omg there’s no reason for me to be CACKLING BUT I AM

Why is Basil so annoying? 😂

MORE TENSION ~ but in Greek

“DROWN ME” LMAO

I miss Larry too go get em

Oo a bop 🎙

LMAO POOR THEO OMG

I knew Leslie would take it too far pushing Gerry off the boat 🤦🏼‍♀️

“I will tell people” luga omg 😂

“I’ve been here since 1935” sis snapped

Wait Larry isn’t even there? Rude 🤦🏼‍♀️

“As you say in Greece, bloody rude” LMFAO

WAIT THIS MF IS IN PARIS WHAT LMAO!?! DAMN IT LARRY RUNING EVERY THING

Larry has a picture of Louisa on his desk I am crying bye

and he’s hitting me with a travel quote I’m emo rn 😂😭

“I didn’t hear” Theo is being smart to stay out of it Lmaoo

“It’s hard to stay the right thing” LMAO I FEEL

“Gerry where did you learn that language!?” “.. alright only asking” ME AS A MOM TBH

Where’d all these random goats come from? 😂

“One push and you and spiros could live happily ever after” OK I WAS *JOKINGLY* THINKING IT BUT DAMN LES REALLY SAID IT.. AND LOUISA DIDN’T RESPOND *insert the why would you say something controversial yet so brave gif* !!

But for real Dimitra already knows what’s up but she’ll prob never leave Spiros again just to be petty even tho she’s obviously unhappy

LMAO Basil is just the worst but it’s hilarious

CAPTAIN CREECH LIVES

Creech went to visit Larry and stayed, I love that 😂

HE READ THE LETTER LMAO

OMG DONT SAY ANYTHING OLD MAN AJJA

KSKSK OMG SPIROS CHOKED HIM

The tension is still increasing my blood pressure, I know it won’t happen but I keep feeling like Dimitra is going to bitch-slap Louisa

Poor Geoffrey aw lol no one cares

MARGO TAKING THE PEDESTAL 😂😭 I love her messy self

I know Dimtria is just flirting with Basil in poor attempt to anger Spiros bc it’s cringey to watch 😂

“The little shits” LMAO CREECH STOP

Lawrence get your ass back to Corfu right now

God imagine if Larry was witnessing all this tho omg? You know he’d say something inappropriately funny and I’d lose my shit

THOSE MEN ARE STEALING THE BOAT LMAO OH SHIT

THEY BLEW IT UP OH FUCK

“After all nobody teaches one how to make love” LMAO Margo has some of the best lines ok

Drink up Louisa or start praying LMAO this is a ROYAL ASS MESS

Oh my god Louisa just stop saying Spiros name for (1) second sjskksa

Take a shot every time Louisa says idiot/insults Basil

LEMURS, IT’S THE KING FROM MADAGASCAR ( THE MOVIE )😂

This is such a shit show but I am living for it 😭😂😂 but I’m waiting for (1) thing to go right in the last 10 mins lol PLSS

LMAO THEO ON BASIL’S LAP

I’ve been packed in a car like that so this is so funny to me 😂

This lady is drunk af LMAO

“The car or your wife” OOF LES GOOD ONE

“I’m always the victim” this is why Leslie is the worst LMAO

damn the bitch in Dimitra really popped out

I understand she’s upset like her husband is clearly in love with another woman but STILL she gotta chill

How is walking home proving any point? You’re just gonna get tired lol and be more upset

Maude looking like a devil child not gonna lie 😂 but governesses Margo shall be hilarious I can’t wait

“That’s the best thing about my husband dying young” LOUISA LMAO

THE BIRD ATE HER HAIR?? WHAT SJSJSJ

“Did she say she has syphilis ?”

The Durrells house IS a freak-show but it’s a GREAT one

LMAO I TOLD YOU DEVIL CHILD

“I was reminded why people stay at home” 😂

Don’t club them Margo😂

GOATS DO APPEAR FROM NO WHERE LMAO

“Think I’d do alright” DUEL FOR SPIROS LOVE THEN LOUISA SJSKS

She’s thinking about it isn’t she ..

GIVE ME EPISODE 4 NOW THIS WAS GREAT UGH

#the durrells #commentary #that was a mess and i loved it?!#the durrells in corfu #live blogging

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saportuh · 6 years

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ok panic concert highlights

(plus some personal adventures)

this was the portland show on the 12th k

so it was a fuckin hour and a half drive bc where i fuckin live now is far away from everything i hate it anyway that sucked & i ran my phone down to 80 percent during said drive which proved problematic

we get there (me & my lil sis) & our dad drops us off & we run up & im bitching about how weird the fucking venue is (it’s normal, it’s just not what i’m used to - in vegas the venues were typically in the casino/resorts so you lined up inside the halls & sat against the walls & tourist-watched, in this venue u stood outside in a line???? ughhh)

so we approach the line & something happens, i’m gonna make a separate post about it because holy shit

befriended two excitable gay kids, maybe 8th or 9th grade?? & i was like woah i was u once. now im old & jaded. eugh. then they bailed on me so.

we got into the arena & were on the wrong fucking side so we had to JOG all the way AROUND THE WHOLE FUCKINGN PLACE UGH

THEN WE GOT IN & SAT IN THE WRONG SEATS so the guy next to me (dad w a thick accent, maybe ukranian?? it wasn’t russian but it was close) politely informed me & i was like fuck well until they get here we’ll stay, but i had anxiety so during an arizona song i pretended to go to the bathroom & came back to look for our actual seat, someone took it so i pussied out & went back, had hella anxiety about it, then before hayley the ppl showed up so we had to move & i had to kick some preps out of their seat & they called my lil sister a bitch ;-;

OK SO ONTO THE PERFORMERS

arizona was cute, gotta check them out... singer kept getting emotional & wiping his eyes, it was sweet, and he was hella feeling himself dancing & stuff lmaoo. idk em but im proud of them.

HAYLEYYYYYYYYYYY her dancing & drumming & outfit??? also all the lesbians/wlw getting crunk in the crowd was so damn good haha

ALSO shout out to hayley’s band, they were so cute??? the guitarist & her kept having moments & he seemed like a cool dude, & the girl on synths was so pretty omg??? & smiley i loved her. & the drummer, they were goin so hard i couldnt get a good look, but they had kewl hair

“if you don’t know anything about me, there’s one thing you should know: I LOVE GIRLS” there was so much gay energy at that show i was teary the whole damn time

k confession, i love everything about hayley but i find her voice a little grating on the ears, something about it, but it was super angelic live & didn’t bug me once, & wanna be missed fucked me up cuz it’s my fucking f a v

SHE DID THE DRUMMY IT WAS HOT

her oufit was so damn iconic rlly tho, the pants & shoes totes fit her but wouldn't look good on anyone else, but that shirt, the hot dad look w the open v & all the jewelry, holy fuck that’s how im tryna be

during girls like girls, everyone had their lights out & there was a bunch of pride flags out, and i got this gorgeous shot of a gay pride flag illuminated by lights (i posted it)

most of the songs they played between the breaks were gay themed too which was powerful dude i was so damn emotional

then during the countdown to panic, they played the next episode by dre (the “smoke weed every day” song) & then africa by toto jsfndjfndjskfnjdk

THEN PANIC CAME OUT

WHOLE ASS STRING & BRASS SECTION BDEN RLLY WENT THERE WOAH

KENNY & NICOLE WERE SO CUTE THE WHOLE TIME THEY KEPT GOOFING AROUND ESPECIALLY KENNY IT WAS ADORABLE

THEN BREB POPPED OUT THE DAMN FLOOR

ok several things about breb

one, i never was heavy into panic, but considering how obsessive i was into bandom a few years back, i still know a lot about early panic, livejournal shit, ryden bullshit, etc, so it was really weird being there with normies who were just like “he’s hot & sings good” when i was like “yall lucky fucks never heard of myrtle beach ” dsjfnjsdnfds

two, four years into panic & i never was attracted to brendon, but dude, EVERYONE fell in love with him at this show, myself included, & i was starin at this bitch ass motherfucker in a trance before i was like “wait ur a bastard STOP U ENDEARING DICKWAD” he was so fucking endearing it was ANNOYING cuz i’ve seen some of the shit he’s pulled damnit. srsly tho, so absolutely charming, wow.

three, and what stuck with me most; brendon loves what he does. a little bit of exhibitionism, i think; he likes ppl looking at & admiring him, he’s that type of person, a showman, but also, i think he just loves making music, people singing along to the music, etc. ive been to eight concerts now, and i don’t think i’ve seen someone who clearly loved being on stage so much. a lot of ppl act like it’s a chore to tour, but brendon clearly loves it, and it made me happy, especially as an aspiring musician.

four, the straighties drooling over him and the gays drooling over him was truly straight/gay solidarity

ok what else happened... brendon would throw in random ass high notes towards the ends of songs... my sister looked at me super alarmed when he first did it during dtmwagt lmfao... ppl would cheer & it was impressive, but kinda piercing & i was like “show off” lol

HE DID THE ‘I MAKE THESE HIGH HEELS WORK’ thing, i thought he retired tht?? so i was pleased lmfao

i dont rmr anything that stands out about ready to go or la devotee but the lights & backgrounds during them were very pretty & i got some good pics of brebbois face (i finally got semi decent quality pics im rlly happy abt tht, concerts r so hard to photograph)

hallelujah was cool cuz there were, like, those catholic(?) church windows projected on the top part of the stage, it was pretty af, they rlly outdid themselves with the visuals

and mona lisa had like pipes & industrial stuff?? idk it looked dope, and it contrasted rlly cool it was super pretty

nine in the afternoon,,,, the only pretty odd song... i dont even like pretty odd but it was like,,, damn. & he had the piano, total live in denver vibes ;-; but he wasnt dripping sweat this time lmao

golden days, brebweenie knows hes hot, kept winking & doing mic flips & shit & i was like u fucken weenie ive seen that pic of u w a bowl cut in a bra, die

k he’s a fuckin bastard but hhe’s pretty & talented fuckin big ego bitch ... can yall tell i hav a lovehate relationship w him bc i do

I GOT THIS ONE PART ON VIDEO DURING GOLDEN DAYS WHERE KENNY & NICOLE R FUCKING AROUND & MAKING FACES & GOOFING IT’S SO CUTE

during casual affair in the chorus, the mic would echo each word (just lay (lay) in the atmosphere (sphere) & the ‘lay’ was rlly good on my ears idk sometimes certain vocal notes sound GOOD & that was one i keep replaying it

SO VEGAS LIGHTS as yall kno i was born & raised in vegas & a vegasfucker69 it’s my fucking home i moved last november (not my choice) & miss it violently & i was CRYING during vegas lights hard & it was so beautiful im gonna watch the video i got over & over & over that song means so much to me IM SO FUCKING HOMESICK

speaking of which, im pretty bitter i didnt see panic in vegas, this was my first panic show & that kinda bothers me, like i should’ve seen them in vegas a few yrs ago but it never worked out.... still, im grateful i saw them at all & im glad i saw the song live. i had my fob snapback on too, it says ‘las vegas’ on it cuz i got it there haha, wore that on purpose

he did the fucking running man thing towards the end & everyone cheered & i was like dONT ENABLE HIM

sat down during dancing’s not a crime cuz im a bitch who doesn’t like half the new record & also my knees hurt cuz im old apparently, anyway this chick glared at me then sang every word wat a fuckin prep lmao

o yah i forgot, in golden days he got in the crowd & let a girl sing the last chorus it was amazing i bet that made her life

AND DURING DOAB HE WALKED THRU THE CROWD that was SO FUCKING ENDEARING i was like “wow what a guy” then i was like “HE’S A BITCH U KNOW HIM” & i was like “hmm??? what a guy” but omg he made so many people happy it was really beautiful & sweet & i was like... half in love & then i came to my senses jksjfhjsdhfkjsdn

RLLY THO HE WALKED THRU THE CROWD & HIGH FIVED PPL & SHIT & GAVE HUGS & TOOK ART/LETTERS IT WAS SO DAMN GOOD HE WAS SO SWEET & LEGIT EVERYONE WAS FALLING FOR HIM & I WAS LIKE SUFFERING

legit guys, like it’s weird i used to watch his parascopes in 2015 or w/e & he’d say some Bad shit on there sometimes, like ik he does some messy shit BUT HE ACTED SO FUCKING LOVELY BLEH

also he’s very short, like he’s 2 inches taller than me but he looked so little in the crowd i was like... aw

the piano thing ;-; it was rlly pretty but my paranoia & anxiety was off the charts i was like that things gonna fucking fall & crush the crowd it’s gonna fucking fALL but it didnt ofc but i was stressed bleghh

but ok on a positive note, that was soo fucken lovely, bden stopped to try to make eye contact with as many ppl in as many places of possible, like he made the effort to get to everyone & make them have a special moment & it was ... magical ok thts fucken cliche as shit but it rlly was

ok i did smth lowkey embarrassing, i doubt he saw, but when he faced towards us i was just overwhelmed w like.. gratitude?? ive had a bad 2 years in every way, so being somewhere filled with love & fun & kindness & joy & all around good vibes, i was so grateful? i just wanted to thank him for creating that kinda atmosphere. so i like,,, blew kisses but not in a weird way, like later i was like oh that was kinda weird whyd i do that, but at that moment i didnt use my head & it was jus my instinctual way of saying thank u idk it’s lame but it happened so there ya go idfk

fun fact, my vid of it is out of focus cuz i was so enamored watching him & watching the crowd react it was pretty fucking magical it rlly was

once he got down from that piano he went “wow i feel so fucking inspired now” & i was like “bitch me too tf”

legit it was absolutely indescribable, even watching my vid now.... wow. and u can hear me lightly crying in the back of my video too lmao, and i was shaking p hard, it was so fucking magical. like im getting emotional rn cuz it was exactly what i needed to remind myself that there is good stuff in the world thats worth staying for.

i never was super big on panic or breb like i said but if i ever meet him im gonna thank him bc that. wow. transformative.

also that transition from the piano cover he did to dying in la was smooth af. it was all around gorgeous.

OK GIRLS GIRLS BOYS, I WAS SO CONCERNED W FILMING I COULDNT PUT MY LIGHT ON (i had a red heart) BUT OMG

he got a bi flag first, then a rainbow one, then another rainbow one... one was those hayley ones lol, and one ended up on the stage out of his eyesight & he never saw it & i felt so bad fjdnfds

G-D ALL THE GAYS SINGING WAS SO EMOTIONAL & THE RAINBOW BEHIND THEM ON STAGE (AND PAN FLAG COLORS AT TIMES?!??!?!)) IT WAS FUCKING MAGICAL & BRENDON LET A FLAG DRIFT IN THE WIND FOR A SEC BEFORE HE PUT IT ON IT WAS GORGEOUS

AND ALL THE RAINBOW LIGHTS IN THE CROWD FUCK DUDE

breb might be a turd but he’s the only one of these emo dudes who parades around draped in flags & so aggressively empowers gay fans through it, and for that, i respect him. ik the song has more perverse origins but now it’s a bi anthem that rlly connects w lgbt fans & it’s rlly beautiful, AND i got another gorgeous shot of a pride flag surrounded by lights & im just. wow.

after, breb said “that is gorgeous btw” about the rainbow lights, and “thank u for participating in love” & giggled, i got this shot of the lights in the dark lookin incredible ;-;

also said “this a record number of flags tonight, very cool” so portland is rlly gay apparently, kewl

nicole doin the nicotine bass line slayed me dead wowie u can hear me go “WOO” on the vid lmfao (im a bassist so i lov her double)

ive seen miss jackson live twice now cuz at my monumentour show, new politics brought lolo out to cover it so that’s dope lmfao

anyway bden did the fuckin valley girl voice for “the scenery is so loud” which was delightful

he had us do the ‘ayyyy’ bit woo

NICOLES BASS,,, SPARKLY

drum thingy ;-; speaking of monumentour, andy & patrick famously did a drum off & i MISSED IT cuz the stage at my venue wasnt large enough to fit both sets ;-; so they didnt do it ;-; but bden doin his own drum solo kinda made up for it a little bit

fuckin show off tho he played like 3 instruments & i was like u bitch stop

there was some kinda audio sample that went “i got a fever & the only prescription is more caffeine(?)” & bden mouthed the words along, and some girl behind me went “SAME”

UPDATE: googled it, i knew i recognized chris walken’s voice, he says cowbell not caffeine & it’s a skit from snl that i’ve SEEN im a disgrace anyway that was fun also woo cowbell

the big screen kept cutting from bden drumming to a shot of the crowd & someone holding a pride flag & i was like yah drumming is gay now

lmao i only filmed like a minute of a song unless i rlly liked it so i could spend the rest of the song gettin funky right?? & i like king of the clouds but not a ton, but i filmed the whole thing cuz the visuals were so pretty lmfaooo i jus was staring at them like wowwww prettyyyyy

during the ‘i dont feel anything at all’ he looked rlly sad & i couldnt tell if it was genuine or if he was goin for like a pouty look djfdsjfndjks then right after he winked so ig pouty thx breb

at some point he introduced nicole&kenny plus the strings & brass ppl as “his friends” it was sweet & he was like “these lovely ladies” about the strings & “these handsome men” about the brass & i was like WOO GAY RIGHTS

FIRE DURIN CRAZY EQUALS GENIUS. BOZ FLASHBACKS. FIRE ON MY FACE HUNDREDS OF FEET AWAY. FEAR. DONT LIKE FIRE. SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION. KENNY WAS TOO CLOSE. FEAR.

a whole arena singing bohemian rhapsody 25+ years after freddie mercury’s death was Incredible, i dont believe in afterlives but if there is one i hope he was watching & enjoying & knowing his legacy was staying alive bc wow that was powerful

THE END WAS CRUNK AF HOLY SHIT BDEN GOT DOWN

i cant believe i remember the day emperors came out like,,,, jeez. so lit live tho

I HAVENT MENTIONED HIS SPARKLY SUIT YET. KING OF SPARKLY SUITS

BRENDON DOIN HIS HIGH NOTE BIT & THE STAGE LIGHTING UP FULLY ON FIRE FUCK DUDE

bitchden took his shirt off when he came out for the encore..... bitch

SINS,,, FUCK DUDE,,,, MY CHILDHOOD WAS CRYING HHYSTERICALLYYY,

in the background of my vid u can hear me do the ‘ily’ ‘ily’ from the mv emo ass

my lil sis got fucken turnt to sins lmfaooo??? danced her ass off???

us: W H O R E bden: ily

VIOLINISTS GETTIN WILD TOO

they played footage of the music vid & breb & his fuckin iconic outfit & i was a lil emo kid again omg i cant believe i saw it live

he did funny voice durin calls for a toast nerd ... least he’s not entirely bitter abt songs ryan wrote anymore tho lmao... or maybe he is considering theres only two on the 30 song setlist ;-;

i gotta listen to afycso again damn it’s so iconic

oh yah at some bit he said “ive been doing this for 14 years, im 31 now” & it reminded me like.. most of these emo bands, they started so young. & got successful at such a young age. it’s so crazy. idk. wow.

he got growly during the chorus, that’s pstump’s thing beeb dont steal it lmao

CONFETTI fitting ending, & i got him walking off which is cool, other bands it goes dark & they just kinda disappear & it’s unsatisfying ;-;

so yah i finally saw breadman live, i got 400 pics and 30 videos so that all got spam posted over the last few days lmao

#finally posting it lmao #81218 #long post -

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peachyhyvck · 6 years

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some of my favorite pics of mark lee

author's note: yes bitches, I'm back with another!! this one’s a tad bit different from the last, and its got almost double the amount of pictures,,, but I hope you still enjoy it, nonetheless! this pic set includes waayyy too many categories to list off so you're just gonna have to look through them and see for yourself! (’; sO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, HERe are,, my favorite pics of mark lee:

cute mark:

okay, but mark’s selfies are always so damn precious and they never fail to put a smile on my face

I LOOOVVEEEEE THIS PICTURE WITH ALL MY HEART!!!!! THE WAY HE GRADUALLY COVERS HIS FACE MAKES MY HEART MELT HOLY MOLY

everything about this picture is just perfect... his smile is so facking cute, and do you sEE THAT LIL DIMPLE???? ADORABLE.

I honestly don't know what the hell is going on in this picture, but his facial expression is so fucking cute that I'm squealing like a damn pig rn so,,,,

never mind - E V E R Y FACIAL EXPRESSION HE HAS IS JUST SO PRECIOUS AND I REALLY NEED TO FIND SOME NEW WORDS CAUSE IM JUST REPEATING MYSELF OVER AND OVER AGAIN AT THIS POINT!!!

I remember watching this for the first time and,, I kid you the fuck not,, I actually threw my phone across the room

wow..... I've never been sO soft!! for someone in my entire life.......

these might just be my 2 favorite pictures of mark lee....?? I mean, I say that about every picture, but these 2??? utterly flawless.

candid mark

I looovveee his damn hair so so sooo much in these last 4 pictures and if sm fucks with it in any way, shape, or form,,, you best watch the fuck out........ (lmaoo this was before sm went and fried his hair aGAIN but tbh I expected nothing less from them,,,)

he looks so smol and innocent in this picture and I'm barely keeping my shit together!!!!

he looks like a motherfucking prince in these photos!!!!!!! I mean, am I right or am I right ??!?!?!!?!%@$^&

idk man I just really love his smile and it truly brings happiness to my poor, dysfunctional, bitter soul

these pictures are THE definition of ethereal!!!!!!

I'm gonna take a moment to interrupt the ““cute”” theme I've got goin on to insert this (?) gem because idk what the fuck he’s doin but it really made me laugh so I thought I'd share

I think I just heaved the biggest content sigh in history because I just really, really love mark lee

disrespectful mark

idk who gave mark permission to be this blatantly rude but it sure as hell wasn't me!!!!

alright I'm really gonna need him to stop because I feel all shaken up and I'm Not okay with this at all

props to the camera person for holding their composure cause I sure as hell would’ve dropped Dead under such an intense gaze

“mark” and “tough” don't really fit together all that well, but looking at this picture I'm absolutely, 100% positive he could beat the living shit out of me

I HATE THIS PICTURE WITH EVERY DAMN OUNCE OF MY BEING!!!! DO YOU KNOW WHAT KIND OF TORMENT AND CHAOS THIS FUCKING PHOTO PUTS ME THROUGH??!??!!?!? IT IS THE HIGHEST FORM OF DISRESPECT AND I DEMAND THAT IT BE PUNISHABLE BY AT LEAST 5 MORE YEARS IN NCT DREAM!!!!!!

dunno what he’s doin but veins really fuck ya girl up and his arm in this photo is really testing me,,,,,,

he looks so good???? but like,, too good?????? idk. I disapprove. NEXT

these polaroids are both a blessing and a curse and the fans who got these are honestly the luckiest bitches on earth cause damn y’all really snatched yourselves a couple of winners!!!!

no no non no on Ono nono. what do you think you’re doing. stop it right now and put the fucking jacket back on!! and no more tank tops..... my heart can't handle such things........

honestly, I don't even know anymore..... I'm literally speechless......... I just don't know how its humanly possible to look That FUCking gOOD!!!! everything about this picture is messin with my head and he’s reaalllllyyyyy startin to test a bitch,,

boyfriend mark

well, damn. he’s really out here just servin us these boyfriend looks, isn’t he???

tbh it might just be because his back and chest look so Broad in these photos, but I'm pickin up some major boyfriend-ish vibes!!!

awww boyfriend mark impatiently watching the clock tick by as he counts down the minutes until he gets to see your beautiful face ((((’:;;::;

oh damn,, boyfriend mark waiting to pick you up outside your job :^]

can you just imagine walking next to mark and looking up to find him staring at you like this I'd funking DIE!!!!!

boyfie mark carrying your backpack for you as the two of you walk home from school together (((((((’’:

boyfriend mark staring at you from afar while another guy shamelessly flirts with you ;o

tbh this is how boyf mark would look whenever the two of you get into a pretty heated argument... expect the silent treatment and some intense glares

“oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! I'm late for our date!! gotta run, gotta run, gotta ru-”

shopping with boyfriend mark!!!!! (peep dat arm doe,,,,)

yeah, yeah. I know it’s just a picture of his back - but like... just picture yourself walking up to that and giving him the warmest, tightest, most affectionate backhug you could......... cause same

boyfriend mark goin to pick ya ass up while trying not to draw too much attention to himself,,, shhhh!!

pre-debut mark

okay but mark was the cutest damn child, and like,, that's a fact

LOOK AT THE INNOCENCE IN HIS EYES!!!!!!!

I just wanna tuck him into bed and read him some bedtime stories )))’:::

k I think we can all agree that mark’s mirror selfies are LEGENDARY. NEVER LET THESE DIE. EVER.

why does his outfit remind me of something justin bieber circa 2012 would wear lmao

don't come at me but like,, why do these 2 pics remind me of seventeen’s vernon......... i mean im jus sayin........

this picture? is so? precious??? caN I JUST SWADDLE HIM PLEASE??????

oh look!! this must’ve been right around the time when sm stopped allowing mark to get even the slightest bit of rest!!!

he looks like such a lil man here dear lord

the many hairstyles/colors throughout mark’s career

starting off with the 7th sense debut, we have marks.... questionable.... black, choppy, bangs-cut-too-short hairstyle!! it truly is one for the books....

moving onto fire truck era, sm kinda dropped a bomb on us with the multi-colored hair. but as crazy as orange and purple hair sounds (and kinda looks) mark actually pulled it off pretty damn well???

buT THEN IN THE MIDDLE OF PROMOTIONS THEY DECIDED TO DYE HIS WHOLE HEAD PURPLE AND BLESS US ALL!! like, I have a hard time picturing mark with extremely bright and extravagant hair colors (like hyuck or chenle) but lemme tell ya mark looked so damn good with the purple holy shit sm brinG THAT BACK!!!

and then at the end of promotions (obvs prepping mark’s hair for dreams debut) they decided his scalp hadn’t been through enough, so they bleached it and made him blonde (((’::::

dreams debut!!!!! whoop whoop!!!! they dyed mark’s hair a rose gold tinted color and honestly?? he looked hella good???? idk what I was saying earlier about not being able to see mark pull off bright and extravagent colors cause my boy absolutely slayed orange, purple AND pink!!!

now we come across the holy period that was mark’s dirty blonde hair during chewing gum promotions,,,, let’s all just take a moment of silence because of how damn Good this look was..... the color and the haircut itself were so fucking nice and tbfh i have a special place in my heart for this look

whelp..... here comes limitless!!! the BOP of the century, but also the fucking disaster of the millennium that was marks perm........... sm did my boy so dirty with this one..... as if his hair hadn't been through enough torture, they go and do THIS? sickening.

NOW WE’RE BACK ON OUR GOOD STREAK!! after the perm settled down a bit they finally realized that they needed to make up for their horrendous mistake, SO they put a lil pink in the mix and BAM!! we got our lil cotton candy baby (^=

and then the pink started to fade )))’:: leaving him with cute little pink tinted curls!!!! (((’::

MFAL (what an era.....) if im being completely honest, mark’s mfal hair is my religion. it’s not nearrlllyyy as poofy and untamed as it was before, and the little blonde curls really worked for him rip...

not to mention when they straightened it and we got our royal prince lookin ass mark lee!!!!

head shot pop,, cherry bomb was another holy era for marks hair. it had been sooo long since we’d seen dark haired mark that it pretty much threw the whole fandom into a frenzy when it happened.

tbfh his we young hair took a little while to grow on me. i’ve always loved the longer, shaggier bangs on mark, and the short bangs were giving me war flashbacks to t7s era,,,, and the shaved sides were so!!! different that idk. it just took me a while to adjust...

but I would later come to Love his we young hair because it eventually grew into this fucking beauty - which is also my faVORITE DAMN HAIRSTYLE ON THIS BOY,, HOLY SHIT!!! HIS HAIR JUST LOOKS SO PERFECT AND I JUST WANNA RUN MY FINGERS THROUGH IT AND PLAY WITH IT AGGHHJJHBPWUEB

**sigh** but then sm went and did what they always do and fucked with something that was already perfect ///: I mean, although i am pretty distraught over the loss of quite possibly the best hair style of his career, he does look mighty fine with the honey blond color so its all good (((;;

anD THEN!! THEY LITERALLY BLEW ALL OF US OUT OF THE DAMN WATER WITH THE FUCKING BRIGHT, STOP SIGN, TICKLE ME ELMO LOOKIN ASS RED!!!!!!!! NAAaahhhh I'm just playin :”)) i’ve said it so many times already, but he really can pull off just about any color and i must say, the red is really workin for him,, uh huh, uh huh, yes sir!!

the lil duck face pout

idk why he Always does this but it’s fucking hilarious and it never fails to crack me tf up

cute stage persona

LOOK AT THAT BIG ASS SMILE!!!!!!! THIS IS THE KINDA SHIT I LOVE TO SEE!!!!!!!!!! HE JUST LOOKS SO FLUFFY!!!!!!!!

y’all, i dont even know. he’s in the middle of dancing but he just looks so cute and squishy!! i had to include it

again... I have no words other than his smile is fucking. flawless.

I SHOULD BE CRINGING (AND TBH I KINDA AM) BUT HE’S SO DAMN PRECIOUS THAT I DON’T EVEN CARE!!!!!

I can totally picture in my head the dorky lil dance move he did along with that face to whoever was taking the picture and honestly,, I can’t help but smile

WHY DOES HE DO THIS?? DOES HE WANT ME TO SUFFER??? CAUSE HE’S LITERALLY MAKING MY INSIDES TURN TO MUSH!!!!!!

I have no clue what the hell he’s doing, but i could care less!!! i’m just gonna go with it!!!!!!!

omfg he’s like that one nerdy friend who tries to act all cool but just ends up embarrassing himself ((and looking hella cute while doing so)) gaAAHHhHHH

rude stage persona

mark is always facking adorable!! but the few times he decides to act all rude, he makes sure to have absolutely zero fucking mercy on us, and its Not fair!!

don’t give me that face istg imma smack the shit outta ya!!!!

he’s literally just rapping but i feel highly offended and i would appreciate a sincere apology

mark is smiling 95% of the time, but the other 5% that he’s not, he’s making faces like these^^ and im real fuckin tired of the blatent disregard for my feelings!!

I don't approve! I don't approve at all!!!! the look on his face is throwin me off and I'm confused!!!!!!

BOIII THIS MIGHT BE THE RUDEST FUCKIN PICTURE I’VE EVER SEEN AND I SHIT YOU NOT MY DAMN STOMACH JUST DROPPED!!!!!!! MY ALREADY WEAKENED HEART CAN’T HANDLE THIS KINDA SHIT, MAN!!!!!!!!! I NEED TO GO LIE DOWN,,,,,

HE’S GOT NICER ABS AND NICER UNDERWEAR THAN I DO, GOD DAMN!!!!

THE FUCKING SLEEVES ARE ROLLED UP - ABORT MISSION! I REPEAT, ABORT THE FUCKING MISSION!!!!!!!!

mark + hats = A Look I'm here for

first up, we got them bucket hats!!!! if ya ask me, mark can pull off almost any hat, and he kinda looks adorable in the bucket hats (especially with his blond curly mops fallin out of em!!!!)

now onto the snapbacks! a very typical look, yet he still looks breathtaking ((’::::

and now we’ve got the floppy hats (?) and tbh he kinda looks adorable in them???

AND WE’RE AT BEANIES ALSO KNOWN AS MY FAVORITE FUCKING HEADWEAR ON MARK LEE!!!!!! BOY CAN PULL OFF A BEANIE BETTER THAN I’VE EVER SEEN ANYONE DO IT EVER!!!!!!!!!

and finally we've got..... whatever the fuck this thing is lmao kinda reminds me of a chef hat but my boy still looks hecka fly so its gucci!!!!

BONUS: MARK IN A HEADBAND!! HEY SM, PLEASE DO THIS LOOK AGAIN!!!!!

BONUS BONUS: THE HOLY LOOK THAT IS MARK WEARING A BANDANA!! HEY SM, MAYBE BRING BACK THIS LOOK AS WELL, K THNKS!!!!!!!

idk, but I need to rant about it !!

not only is ya girl emo as helllllll because he successfully graduated high school despite his fucking insane schedule, (yeah,, I'm lookin at you sm... fight me), but these grad pics are the definition of heavenly !!!!!!!!

this boy video took me for all that I'm worth.... he just looked so? fucking? good??? like I wanna know who the fuck he thinks he is just lookin all fine and shit,,,

y’alls..... i honestly didnt even know which category to stick this beauty under because i was honestly just?? blown the absolute fuck away??? with the perfection of not only this photo, but the boy in the photo, as well??????? like,, the dark, shaggy hair along with that lil smirk are really doin some fucked up shit to ya girl and i just dont know anything anymore (((’=

not much to say about this one.... I just think he looks hella adorable crouched down into a lil ball ((’:

maRK MOTHERFUCKIN LEE HIDING BEHIND RANDOM ASS OBJECTS WHENEVER HE GETS EMBARRASSED MIGHT JUST BE MY FAVORITE FUCKING THING IN THIS UNIVERSE!!! IT MAKES ME WANNA HUG HIM TO DEATH AND NEVER LET GO!!!!!

first of all: no

second of all: No

third of all: the hell you think you lookin at?

last of all: N O

(like for real, who gave you the right to look all grown and shit?? cause I'd like to have a few words with them......)

and last, but certainly not least, we've got this golden picture of mark dressed like a middle aged, white, suburban dad.... do with it what you will (((’:::::

**all pic creds go to their rightful owners

#y'all don't even know how fucking long this took me to make #I just kept getting distracted #but can ya really blame a bitch??#I mean cmon #mark lee #nct mark #nct mark lee #lee minhyung #nct minhyung #nct lee minhyung #nct #nct 127 #nct dream #nct u #nct text posts #nct reactions #nct scenarios #nct imagines

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cliveboney · 6 years

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hhhhhh

im tryin to get over this & move on w/ my life so maybe making a post abt it will help

so i applied for a zine a while ago (well like. 2 weeks ago) bc i’ve never been part of one & i thought it might be cool (also free copy + $$ right yell heah yeehaw). from the beginning i wasn’t really expecting too much like im just basically like “it won’t hurt to just apply & see what happens”

so i spent a bit of time gathering up some recent pieces to put in my “”portfolio”” so i could send it over because like. applications were open but there was like a week until the deadline to send yours so i took advantage of that to finish up some drawings i’d been working on etc (that’s why i was suddenly super active on my art blog for like a week lmaoo)

Anyway i did all that & put it in my portfolio & then submitted it the day before the deadline & it was all taken care of, time to wait. the next step was for the organizers to post the list of accepted artists, so they did that & i checked & unfortunately i didnt make the cut which is like. cool, fine, i wasn’t expecting much anyway, right? they had a ton of applicants so chances were slim, etc etc

not gonna fuckin lie to myself tho ok i rly did want to be a part of the project & i was pretty proud of the things i had worked on in preparation for the application & yea i did think i had a p decent chance li ke i obvs didn’t know who i was up against & it could’ve totally been a bunch of amazing artists who blew me out of the water but i felt like my stuff was at least. u know. nice to look at

anyway i didnt get in & i was like rip & the organizers were like “we’re gonna send out emails to everyone including those who weren’t accepted” & i was like ok cool at least this way i’ll know for sure they got my entry

except. i never got an email?? they were like “we’ll send them out today/tomorrow” & it’s been almost a week now & i haven’t gotten anything so now instead of moving on like i’m supposed to be doing i keep thinking about what if my entry didn’t go through, does this mean i actually did have a chance but some random error prevented it from happening? they had so many entries & there was so little time between the deadline for submissions & the announcement of the artist list, did they really look at all the entries, or did they stop before they got to mine? did i fuck this up by waiting too close to the deadline, ensuring that my work never even got considered? but if i had submitted early i wouldn’t have had any examples of my current work to show, and my art has definitely changed since the last time i posted smth i was actually proud of so it wouldn’t have been good to submit at that point anyway

im just fucking overthinking everything & it’s so. ugh. and im literally /literally/ the worst person for doing this, but i did look at some of the accepted artists & i did compare my work to theirs & i absolutely did feel like mine could have easily been accepted over theirs but then again i have the creator’s point of view i dont know what my art actually looks like, maybe it looks like shit maybe it looks dumb as hell with weird proportions & unintentional warping that just makes it so goddamn ugly no one wants to look at it & that’s why all the things im proud of never get reblogged, who knows!!

i don’t know what the organizers’ criteria for judgement was & i dont know what precisely they were looking for all i know is i didn’t get into the thing i rly wanted to get into & im upset abt it despite my best efforts not to be & i wish i could just move on and try again next time but that was literally the only time i’ve ever seen a call for applications to a zine, i have no idea how tf people actually find these things because the only way i ever find out about them is when they’re done and being advertised to sell so even though i know it’s not the case this felt like a special one-time opportunity which is making the rejection feel even worse & im just overall rly mad abt this bc i went into this so casually & somehow came out so unhappy

i just wish i could forget about it & get on with more important things in my life like hmm maybe the one month i have left to catch up in my classes & not fail them both like uhhh this shitty 90 second animation for this shitty piece of shit class that someone somehow tricked whoever’s in charge into labeling an “animation class” for which neither of those words apply as there is teaching of neither animation nor any other fucking thing in the entire universe going on during what i like to call the Three Hell Hours, each referred to respectively as “i woke up this early and walked this far and climbed this many stairs for This”, “holy shit it’s only 9 am how”, and “just 55 more minutes until i can get the fuck out of this time trap and spend the rest of the day trying to figure out if this moment right now even happened or if it was all a terrible fever dream that i had while really spending the morning actually asleep”

this got away from me, it’s well past midnight, im tired and not happy ok, today was a bad day for no reason, just generally a shit day, i gave a presentation on my half-assed painting project today which was about aromanticism & ended up telling my class im aro which didn’t seem like a big deal at the time & probably isn’t in the long run but for some reason i’m regretting it big time now like i feel like i shouldn’t have been so casual like that with a bunch of strangers & i was trying to explain the project but people were confused bc i forgot that most people don’t even distinguish between romantic/sexual orientation & people know basically nothing abt aromanticism bc nobody ever talks about it except sometimes on the internet and hhhhhh it went fine and all but i feel retroactively uncomfortable at having been so open about myself in front of a bunch of people who Don’t Get It man what a wakeup call after having been online w/ people who do get it for so long

my only consolation is that i have a friend in that class who Gets It & she’s like. my one support in that class, she said i handled it well so that was reassuring at least. but god. i can’t wait for the semester to be over so i never have to go back & face those people again lolllool godddddddd

anyway that’s all the venting i want to do for now lmfao sorry about this i just. hohjhj

#text posting #vent post #negative /#i didnt reread this so it's complete trash don't read it im the worst

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