#HOPEFULLY I DIDNT OVERWHELM U
YEET THE SUN... LET ME DONATE SOME RAIN OVER I DON’T WANT TO EXPERIENCE ANOTHER FLOOD SHJDKSLA at least i don’t have to water my plants 😭😂
yalor i feel like if i’m not going out i won’t wear earrings also 😂 it’s a miracle how my piercings haven’t closed throughout mco bc i barely went out T^T
ngl i feel like mall sop is not too bad for me or at least it’s better than school 🐥 the last time i went there to buy shoes i saw like a group of pegawai entering the same shop... damn scared sia HAHAH and i didn’t even get to buy them bc i had to wear socks to try the sizing and i was wearing slippers that day T-T the other time i went with my cousin for lunch and we saw ppl kena stop by the polis bc they took off their mask for a bit also
school sop for me is worse bc the classrooms are small so there’s barely enough space to properly follow one meter 💀 and then some of the teachers also damn funny hor take off the mask to talk liao then they wear back on 😺
hopefully you’ll be able to catch up and do well this sem!! classes are tough but you’re tougher 😼 it’s easy to feel overwhelmed due to the sudden change of setting but if you’re tired then just take breaks and catch up later! i find it easier to focus when i’m more used to my routine tbh for instance i thought i could study a bit today bc usually i’m the most free on wednesdays but i’m really not used to waking up early and coming home late so i ended up just clearing my desk and scrolling tumblr💀
ooh and gl pulling for them!! i want so many 5* characters but if i spend anything in this game there’s no going back so i’m holding back as much as i can 😂😂 be sure to be on the lookout for web events 👀 those give a lot of primos sometimes but the ongoing one damn sad sia it’s like 60 primos a month T-T if you don’t have it i could send it to you! just lmk :D -risse
Flood💀💀 a little rain wont do damage bubs 😌😌😌
My ear piercings thankfully didnt close up but it stung when i tried to insert the earring back (bled a few times dy haih) but all is good, now my ears are okay n i still have my piercing holes!!
Speaking of pegawai, i rmb going to a 7/11 store to buy maxis and theres this ONE dude that's standing in the corner glaring at me, luckily my friend told me when i approach him and my other friends,, and he told me that the guy had begun staring at me when i took my mask down so we left immediately phewww and that was wayyyy before they reinforced the sop like late september i think?
But gg mou luckily u didnt get questioned or smth like that, my dad told me there was a couple who took off their mask to eat the the pengawai straight up fined them for removing their mask???? It went on the news :/
The school sop is like no sop at all n i agree on u with that— my college here we hang out like it's nothing except we follow the seating and other sop stuff la, and when we chat we distance ourselves when a lecturer or admin is around
I rmb my friend told me my high school's sop is so bad like bruh they had perhimpunan in a normal setting where everyone is sitting close to each other 😐 soooo yea at least im not there anymore pft
It's the first week and idk if i said this b4 but im slowly losing ny grip, especially since i dont have a proper notepad for notes yet (this one shop at shopee is acting strange— like we cant order all items from THAT single shop at once smh) and i could barely listen without falling asleep. Maybe because im still used to my old habit in sem 2 but hope it fixes soon!
OH ABOUT THE BANNER RISSE I GOT ROSARIA IN MY FIRST 10 PULLS— I SIMP FOR HER SO BAD AND NOW I FINALLY GOT HER!!! so now time to aim at childe >:))))
Oh and what 60 primos a month? Gg idk any web events x.x pls tell me the link or somethin to collect gifts from there 😩
Episode 1 Pt. 1: “Playing A Game With A Fresh Slate” - Jessica
So im a little slow with names to start but everyone seems chill and nice to be around. I hope I can find some like-minded people here
Hello hello hello, it is Jessica here with a confessional. I don't know a single soul in this game except for Silver and we are not even on the same tribe. I also barely know him so it's basically like I'm playing a game with a fresh slate! It's nice because I feel like I used to have a Reputation with a capital R and sometimes that made it difficult to play the way I wanted (which is chaotically but in a cute way). But since no one knows me... I can use whatever strategy I want and hopefully they don't see it coming.
I am tied for the oldest person here. Everyone is college aged (or even HIGH SCHOOL aged? Didn't know people still did that) so I do not know what we are going to talk about. My only interests are taxes and coffee, things that kids these days know nothing about! Also I am only allowed one teenager friend without it being weird and that person is Zach so I will just vote out the rest of the teenagers in this cast.
The tribe wants to play pictionary later so I am going to join that and wow them all with my art skills.
All right that's it, that's my confessional for this round. I probably won't even need to write any more until merge because I will be immune every round :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) I am manifesting that it will happen
my tribe is seeming kinda dry</3 but thats okay im here to be insane and annoying not to win
I'm coming into this game with the mentality of "you need to write a vl everyday, a confessional every day and communicate with everyone every day. I don't think I know anyone on my tribe apart from Nicole and Silver, who I am looking forward to possibly work with. I'm the youngest as always. Jabari seems worried about the image he gives off. Nash looks like that chatty archetype, someone you can go to vent to. Mikey was pretty excited to not be the youngest. Jake seems like a pretty nice guy. His first ORG, and with 15 orgs under my belt, I think I actually can help, but he loves survivor so he must know the strategies. I think I know jones from other ORGs, but she wasn't very active today. Or maybe I just wasn't awake for it. Jennet seems like a cool person I'd like to talk to. Same goes for Lindsay. As for Brookesia, I couldn't help but notice that Ethan reminds me of someone, I just don't know why. No thoughts on Daisy, Lovelis, Sam, or Shane. Jessica is giving me a strange vibe. She's gonna get to swap/merge, and in those later days, I think she has the possibility to become a villain. Or maybe that's gonna be me hehehehe. Cloud spoke in ITALIAN in their Intro Video and I'M EXCITED CAUSE MAYBE THEYRE ITALIAN. Madison is someone I know from another ORG and great person, may not get to even meet her, she may get booted out pre-swap. Everyone knows Sammy, may be considered as a liability and I do too. I'm hella scared of him, but I just hope Brookesia sees the threat before I'm on a tribe with him. And then there's Pete. Ughhhhhh whyyyyyy. Bitch you can't make that show up on my screen at 2 am and expect me not too have nightmares. May be just all for show and he may be voted out first.
For now, let's just try to make friends. I could just go to Jake or Silver. I don't know yet, I still have to talk with everyone
So? This is overwhelming a bit. I haven’t played survivor in almost a year and really didn’t think I’d be playing any more games. Yet, here I am! And it’s very weird, because I like everyone so far on a surface level which means I might be the weakest member of the tribe? I don’t think that’s how that works. I’ve been talking to Jake a bit, Lindsay a bit, Pennino a bit, then I love Nash and Jones. Jennet and I were active at different times I think so I haven’t gotten to speak to them yet but I have watched them play Toy Story! And Jabari was really nice but we talked about the weather and the weather only so uh..we are gonna have to talk more. In a big game like this you have to have the personality and active time to move forward so, I’m trying to show people I have that. It’s just real hard to do so, and also Silver...he is hard to keep up with. I’ve been hosting him for the past month and I just find it difficult to find an in to align with him on, not really trying to align with him honestly. But I feel like I’d probably do good at pretending to align with him, which is all that matters right?
In terms of the other tribe...kisses all of them. Sammy? Love of my life. Daisy? Love of all our lives. Like, these are super likable people! So it’s a little worrisome to have big personalities over there, I really hope they don’t eat each other before a swap can happen. Especially Madison and Daisy, both of them have a tendency to uh...stick with the men...and vote out the women. So I’m really hoping history doesn’t repeat because I’d love to work with both of them!
I feel like I’m solid if I can find a way to keep communication constant this round and show I can help out. I feel like rallying the girls and the theys this round may be an opportunity. I feel bad because Silver is doing all this and I know sammy is a graphic designer LOL Speaking of he should be working on my book cover not this game...anyway I’m gonna go back to sleep for an hour before work but I hope this tribe shows an inact soon because I’m starting to feel like the weakest link 😳
so right off the bat i’m really vibing with Ethan we immediately found our shared love for Bowser & Roadhog as our gay dads aw ♡ also talked to sammy since we have a little history but we’re cool i really think it’ll go well this time around at least i hope
(a little later)
IM SO HDDJ NICOLE IS HERE SHES GONNA KILL MEEEEEEEEEE IM DELETING BYE
i recorded this very late so im sorry if its a mess:
Also to add one pennino immediately started interrogating me about people i didnt like and is generally not giving me great vibes like dude. chill it down on the aggression. you gotta make a connection w people before you start doing shit like that and we definitely didn't have one yet. obviously i vagued him (while giving him just a little bit of tea so it wasnt intensely obv i was vaguing) but dude... dont do that shit. we ain't even know if we goin' to tribal yet what the fuck.
Charan's Hot Confessional Questions for Leafy (Charan is my diary room buddy <3)
:dance: 1. You've had the evening to get to meet your new tribemates! Who are you connecting with? Who are you struggling to connect with? How did the Tribe VC go?
I feel like I am getting my foot in the door with most of them, so rather than saying who I am connecting super well with, I will say Kiki is the only one who I haven't had a conversation with. They got back from work right after everything happened, and I was already asleep, and they have not messaged me back yet today. The tribe vc was fun! I love vcs, as my diary room buddies RYAN and CHARAN know, as they are a way to make even deeper connections, and talk about things more efficiently. VCs are also a way to more quickly understand the personalities of who I am talking with, so I got a lot of info quickly. Super excited because my tribe looks awesome!
:dance: 2. How do you personally assess your gameplay? Where do you think your strengths lay, especially in the early premerge? In what ways do you find yourself capitalizing on those strengths to keep yourself safe?
My gameplay is 100% rooted in my social maneuverability. I try to understand those I play with, and preferably, have them as allies. Even if they aren't allies, if I understand how they think, I will be able to anticipate how they will act and react to certain scenarios. So far I hope to use my social game to keep me out of harm's way, as I don't need to be in control, I just can't be the one to go. If things go well, I will naturally be in a more powerful position as people come to trust me, but I can never be seen as going for one or being in one. Perception is everything, and on day 1, I am going for the perception that I am a nice volleyball coach with a passion for education, and I am just somebody who wants to have fun and make new friends. That is all true, and that is all I need to be!
:dance: 3. I personally have 0 clue how idols/advantages are obtained in this org. Do you expect it to be difficult or easy? And does the easiness of finding idols factor into your gameplay at all? Or are you used to playing without having to rely on advantages?
I expect this to be difficult. My luck in life and ESPECIALLY in orgs is abysmal. This system is rooted in luck but also social prowess, so I can set myself up the best I can socially but ultimately it is a luck-based system. I am not anticipating on finding anything this season if this is the only way to find things, but more importantly, I just need to know who finds what and when. I am used to playing without advantages, and just need to know who has them in order to adapt my gameplay to them.
:dance: 4. Lastly, tell me about your day! What did u do that made u feel happy about today and what're ur plans for tomorrow?
My day has been good so far! I told one of my volleyball teams that I coach about this, and they said they want to be in my video confessional, so maybe that will be coming soon :eyes:. I love what I do and coach a LOT of hours, so if I am not typing in here I am likely doing that. In addition to that, the semester is winding down for school, so hopefully, soon I will have less school work and I can focus on this and on coaching. For tomorrow I play to more deeply integrate myself socially, and start to talk game with people!
i fear i will not click with my tribemates... im easy to get along with but idk if these people will like me
https://youtu.be/Q3eDyTryE0g when I tell y'all I've had it....
I feel like nobody hears me when i speak :(( i dont wanna sound like a toddler but hopefully its just my insecurities and they do enjoy me
(a little later)
Silver is kinda... hmmm kinda weird i dont like to isolate people or be mean but that’s just something i noticed. i do enjoy having somebody that’s awkward around bc it does take the edge/pressure off me being awkward
(after an afternoon of swimming)
this is such a different experience than what im used to.... nobody really messages me like at all and ive reached out but idk-
Well we are here on day three doing an immunity challenge. I hope we win! Today's song of the day is: HELLO by Allie X (I have listened to it 30 times this morning alone).
So far I like my tribe enough. I find people are falling into two categories: active/chatty or quieter/a little more difficult to talk to. In category one we have:
- Ethan: One of my favourite people to talk to so far, really liking him.
- Sammy: The only person I've talked any strategy with. I really like that out of the gate he was like "hey let's not waste time, let's STRATEGIZE". Since he was the one that brought that up first, I'm thinking I might go to him today (whether we win immunity or not) and see what he thinks about starting an official alliance with any of the people in category 1 (or anyone at all really)
- Daisy: Daisy seems very sweet and is easy to talk to. I really like her!
- Lovelis: Oh my gosh.... at first I was like hmmm not sure what my opinion is of this guy. But then we realized we are both from the FB Org community and now we are hitting it off! He said he cheered for me when I played Kingdoms Collide.
- Pete: Umm I don't really have a read on Pete but he does reply pretty quickly when I message him.
And then in the not so active group:
- Sam: Sam is actually here quite a bit but I've found he's a little difficult to talk to. He doesn't move conversations forward a lot. However we have been bonding over the evil that is braces/retainers so now he is opening up a bit.
- Shane: For some reason, I keep thinking he is also named Ethan? Not sure why. Shane is fine but same as Sam; not great at keeping conversations moving forward.
- Cloud: Okay I love Cloud. They are great and I really want to talk to them more! But they are also a little spotty with how much they're online. I would not want to vote them out if we lost but I also would not necessarily stop others if they wanted to.
- Madison: She is not here very much and doesn't seem to be putting in the effort when she is. Like she's left me on read already and in the span of 48 hours (or however long it's been since the game started) we have barely spoken at all and I've had to start the convo twice. I'd probably most want to vote her out if we lost.
In an ideal perfect wonderful world, we will win immunity and that gives me more time to try and subtly get some form of alliance going. I don't want to be the one to push it directly so I'm going to try and get Sammy to suggest it to people.
Usually I find I get two placements in games: I make it to merge as a non-threat and then kill it in the second half + go really far or I play too big too fast and by late pre-merge/early merge, I'm taken out. The only times I've gone into merge with a threat label and still won, I either won every single immunity (what's up, Jordan Pines!) or I had a once in a lifetime alliance. In my experience, it's way easier to play from a non-threatening position where everyone likes you.
I used to have that strategy down perfectly but it's been a few years so let's see if I still remember how the heck you win Survivor!
BYE IM GOING HOME LITERALLY I ONLY SCORED LIKE TWICE MY ASS IS FUCKING DEAD FUUUUUUUUCK
:pensive_cow: So we get on the beach and like omg I arrive like,, two hours later than everyone else but that’s all gucci idrc ab that but IN HINDSIGHT NOW feel like such an outsider on this TRIBE????????? It’s all internal I think. I haven’t done anything to make me an outsider other than be super super busy and preoccupied but I FEEL SO WEIRD :((( idk!! It might also be an age thing tho,, Bc it seems like a lot of people on my tribe are like 14-18 or smth like that I feel like the weird aunt who lives down the block!!! These kids make me SICK!!! But ya. It’s not like I have no one tho I’m just v v sad and feel rlly tuned out of everyone’s thoughts ajdkdkdkdk but uhm. 👉👈 first impressions cast assessment:
Jabari- have NOT had the chance to pm her 1 on 1 yet, but she was on call for a hot minute yesterday after the challenge was released!! She gave Lindsay some insight on the flash game which I thought was super super neat :)
Jake - I definitely think on first impression he’s trying to take on a bit more of a savior leadership type position by organizing everyone for the immunity challenge and trying to make his own quirky cute flag too, but idk if we rlly like ? Need a leader rn ? I get it’s in good conscience but it’s a lil unnecessary. I do think he’s super super sweet tho and I loved his flag :)
Mikey - this boy. JSJDJDKKD I think he’s TOTALLY FINE don’t get me WRONG but idk why he was like ,,, unintentionally lowkey shady??????? JAJDJFJFK LIKE when Jake’s flag came into consideration one of the first things Mikey said was smth like “well the judges might think it’s more illustration than a flag” LIKE AKSKSKSK ITS NOT A BIG DEAL ITS A FUCKING FLAG ANJSKS I think it might be,, an age thing or just him wanting his flag to be used which is FINE but it’s a reward challenge and it’s flagmaking it’s not,, the biggest deal ankskdksks I do appreciate his work ethic tho :3
Jennet - I’ve never heard bad things ab jennet so I’m RLLY EXCITED to get to meet them esp since they’re also kinda involved w fast twitter and whatnot but I feel like they kinda came in rlly hot? Like “I’m here to play this for real” I think Is what they said which isn’t totally fine but it’s also like,,, yes. Cool. Idk what it means ig hsjsjsj idk they’re v fun tho :)) definitely wanna work w them long term
Nicole - i Keep thinking Nicole is my emotional support counselor I’m so happy she’s here but I don’t wanna strictly rely on her ya feel (I don’t think I am rn Bc I think I have at least 2 solid allies anskkdkd but I don’t want to have to fall on Nicole Bc shes my friend yk)
Nash - is never rlly online :(( they messaged me yesterday and I messaged them back but they never respondedddddddddd Ik they said they napped but! Where are u I miss u
Pennino - this boy. ANDKFKDKDK he’s the kind of person that will respond to PMs w one word sentences and then go fking off in tribe chat like his life depends on it AJDKDKKDD I don’t see myself bonding w him that well tbh :( I think in the end it’s probs an age thing but he def seems nice and excited to play
Silver - at first I loved his intro,, filled me w joy,, but when I messaged him a bit later I felt like our convo was kinda stale? But THEN yesterday on call?? Chefs kiss I love silver sm. He said he wants to work w me too so BONUS??????? YES!!
Lindsay - this is it folks. This is the one. I love Lindsay sm. I haven’t had a great first impression convo w anyone like lindsay in a long long LONG ass time and I’m so. Appreciative. We both have said we wanna work w each other and I’m so so excited GOD lindsay is so incredible
But ya have to go back to work kiss me on the lipz
flopped the immunity comp so i fear i may be next :/// i havent really made an connections this is sick
Can‘t believe it‘s been a week or almost a week since I talked to you. No surprise here I have not been doing fine.
But right now I feel less overwhelmed and I want to bring some positivity instead of withering away in my head so I thought I‘d come to talk to my fave person on here haha. Not but really. 🥺
I would love to give you good news but my week’s just been crap and crap warmed over. The only positive thing is that my lungs seem to take the inhalators well and my pain has subsided a lot. Which is a really good sign and I am clinging to that! God I hope your week was better than mine! A lot has been happening around here, so much to get lost in... Tell my things! What’s been on your mind? How have you been?
Oh and for the edit... Have you ever done a „The Tide“ one? I think I‘ve been through your edits but I‘ve never seen one. If not, I would love one with maybe some lyrics from that song? It‘s one of my absolute favourites from Niall so... The rest you can go wild on, whatever feels like my vibe I guess! Before you changed up your blog you had The Tide lyrics in your description too, right? Btw!! I love the new setup!!!! Beautiful, stunning, showstopping! 🥰
I definitely understand the situation with your ex. I wish I were (more) romantic sometimes, like have things mean a little more sometimes. So never feel down about that! In the long run it is the right thing andddd worth it! Also don‘t ever feel stupid for crying! Not on my watch. It‘s very natural. Although I should take my own advice I would never let myself cry in front of somebody willingly and I always regret it, you know? Agh I am a mess hahahah.
Oh god I hope you didn‘t actually do that hahahha. Maybe you even already know who I am! 👀
All the love, Beer nony x
beer nony, welcome back again! i missed u, i’m so sorry to hear that :( but i hope i can cheer you up a little <3 I’m really happy to hear about your lungs! hopefully things will get better and better from now on
my week has been uneventful, really. Not much happened, and i was having an okay day until recently :/ but nothing serious happened, i just got in trouble jdsfjksj idk i wanted to wait a little bit to reply bc im not in the best mood and you need some cheering up :( but i didnt want to let you waiting!
i’m working on the star wars fic and i have two ziall wips, and i’m also writing a louis pov of my last fic, but idk if i’m gonna post it or what. i’ve been writing so much lately, and i kinda enjoy it but at the same time i need to remind myself there’s no one rushing me to write fsjskd. i’ve been also making some edits and things, i made one yesterday for walls and i wasn’t really sure if i liked it or not but a lot of people did so :)
besides that i haven’t been doing much, tomorrow i go back home and i have to organize my room and throw away a lot of crap jfdksjf but i’m excited about it. i like cleaning up, i just hope my mom doesn’t get too much in the way sdfjjdsk and i want to reread HP too just like we talked, i can’t wait for it
The tide is also one of my fav niall songs <3 it’s so special for me, and i love that you chose it! yes, i had the lyrics written in my blog name and bio, but i got a little bored and wanted to spice up things a little bit, but i looove the tide, and thank you <3333 i’m gonna make you something cute <3
you’re so understanding, and i bet you’re more romantic than you give youself credit for (this whole anon thing is very romantic fyi fdsjfhskjfl) ugh crying sucks, so don’t blame yourself for not crying in front of people, thats just not fun
I have no idea who you might be sdjkfksdljf i’m really clueless, i will prob never figure it out :P but its more fun this way, right?
love u beer nony <3 xx
Okay so. Some of you may have caught the posts i wrote and then deleted the last few days hghshd
Between u and me guys ive been pretty hecking depressed. Art feels too hard and overwhelming to approach, so i havent drawn anything at all. but fics are easier cause theyre like an escape that comforts me. But i don't write quickly, so when im on tumblr i end up feeling even worse because im not sharing any relevant content at a decent pace, thus tanking my mood even more so and writing also begins to feel like too much. I wanted to try and keep my blog updating so people wouldn't get bored and forget about me, but its a baindaid and idk. I thought it would help to just close asks for a couple days and spend some time to myself while still reblogging stuff but those feelings still havent gone away.
Im always like - worried. Hhaha. I dont like to um... talk about my personal feelings? But you guys may not see anything on my blog for a while as i work through this... thing ;( dont worry too much. I'll be okay! I got some very close and wonderful friends who check in and talk with me every day, and i of course have bird boy haha. I just need some time ;u; i just - idk. I didnt want to just not say anything and my blog sit with hardly any activity, since so many of you have been so sweet and kind to me since the beginning. I wanted yall to know what was up 🥺
Eventually the art will start flowing again. And the fics and things will continue on so im in no way saying that I'm leaving hahha. Just ---- for a while. Idk. Could be a few days could be a few weeks- i don't know. Hopefully ill be back on the saddle soon, here to share more bird boy things with all of you!
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!!!! ok so i dont know if ur still taking suggestions for stuff to watch, but if u r ive got some that i hope u might like 💙💙💙
on youtube :
-Drawfee : this!!!! i absolutely love this channel with my entire being!!! its run by 4 co-hosts who upload videos biweekly of them either doing unique drawing challengs, turning themselves into characters from a piece of media they like, or other fun doodling things. they are all good friends and their energy together is amazing! they never fail to make me laugh or giggle when im feeling bad. they're vids are usually 30-40 minutes long and have a bunch of content to binge if ur interested. i probably didnt do a good job explaining but i highly recommend giving them a try :)
on netflix :
-The Little Prince : ahhhh! while i havent watched this movie in a hot second, i still adore it. its very cute and is a good watch for some childhood good vibes :). i dont think i can describe it well off the top of my head, but check it out if u want!
-Fugou Keiji: Balance Unlimited : ahhh! okay, so while this show does have some plot holes/weird plot moments i still really enjoyed it and have been wanting to give it a rewatch soon. it made me laugh and grin all big and stupid but it does have its serious moments too! the art/animation was very pleasing to me as well. there's 11 episodes and i was able to binge them all within a few hourse :) (it does center around a police department just in case that is uncomfy for u!!)
-Fire Force : okay, to be honest ive only watched the first one or two episodes currently but so far ive enjoyed it! ive also heard good things about it as well so im excited to continue it. its about a fire department whose members have fire abilities, and they fight against these fire demon type things (who were originally people). hopefully u'll enjoy it too :))))
here r a couple off the top of my head, i have a few more but i didnt want to overwhelm u! hopefully these can take ur mind off things for a bit :)
BRO omg thank you so much oooooo ur so swag yolo bro! I’m always open to suggestions duder :))
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Heya! I hope you’re not too swarmed by requests and that you’re staying healthy 💕 I was hoping for an obey me matchup if that’s okay?
I’m a cis bi girl, ENTP/ENFP, Capricorn sun, Virgo moon, Sagittarius rising (if you’re into astrology these are helpful otherwise just ignore uwu) and a Gryffindor. I have short blonde-ish hair, kind of a golden color ig, with bangs and hazel eyes. I’m a bit tanned and very VERY buff because I do loads of sports, and so I’m also not curvy at all unless you count in *cough* 🍑 My clothing style is kind of a melting pot of cottagecore, dark academia and goth, it makes no sense ik. Also I may have light autism according to my parents, but I’ve never been taken to get diagnosed because my brother has a therapist and two would be too ✨expensive✨
I have two very distinct sides to me that are complete opposites. The only way I can describe it is a goblin qkfbkafjwk. At first glance lot of people think I’m scary looking because I’m quite tall and have a light case of RBS but they dont know it’s just because I’m really tired all the time :) I can appear as a bit stuck up, emotionless and as a big pp energy type of gal, which isnt necessarily false but it’s not completly true either. I would never hurt anyone or anything and if I even see a squashed bug I will absolutely cry. Besides that I am quite emotional but i keep it to myself to my best abilities. Although when I’m happy, I’m really hyper and do little dances/ hug and kiss everything in my proximity. I’m dirty minded, subconsciously flirty and not afraid to talk to people I like. On the other hand, if someone makes an advance on me I’ll assume it’s for a practical joke or that they’re not serious because why would you do that, I’m kind of shit 💫🧚♀️
I do tons of sports, mainly swimming and I was close to going to junior Olympics last year (I didnt manage it because I overworked, didnt tell anyone and ended up with an injured shoulder and knee whoopsies). I also pole dance and I love high impact sports like boxing and such even though I don’t have a lot of time to practice those. Some other stuff I can do is horse riding, archery, singing, writing, drawing, stuff like that.
I actually have good grades even though I dont really study. I procrastinate every single thing and end up with better results than the people who worked hard which always makes me feel guilty. I really want to study English literature at Oxford but HAHAHAHA dream on, it will probably never happen, my family isnt exactly the rich kind lol. I’m also Slavic so it isnt even my first language. The only subject I could never do in high school was physics because what the hell is that.
Some other stuff about me is that I’m a foodie and a good cook. I really like taking care of people and comforting them. In my friend group despite being the youngest I’m the eldest sibling friend, aka I enable chaos but never join in, just stirr up a mess and observe from afar 🤠I’m really calm in situations that freak people out, for example I had an infection and was in a lot of pain but i laughed my way through it and while i had my surgery i chatted with the nurse which was overall a good time even though I was half naked and numb from the waist down oop
Relationship wise, not to be horny on main but I just wanna hold hands and make out 🥺🥺 Feelings are terrifying and I may be demi/aromantic which makes me feel really shitty about myself, but maybe I’m wrong. Although to be honest, all I really wanna do is make people happy and pamper them and maybe get some cute jewelry every once in a while because I’m a crow and I like shiny things that I cant afford ✌I’m kind of submissive (not exclusively in a sexual way) in the fact that if my s/o asks me to do something, ANYTHING, I will do it if it kills me.
Anyways, I know this is a lot but I hope it’s okay and I didnt forget anything. Take all the time you need and have a great day 💕💕
Hiiii, thank you for sending in a request, i’m sorry for being like half a year late!! :( :(
I decided to match you with Diavolo!
Both of you being extroverted is a good combination as he is a very curious demon, meaning there is always something to talk about. Both of you enjoying others’ company is a huge bonus - no need to worry about boundaries!
big booty couple
Don’t worry about therapy being expensive, if anyone then a prince can afford that for sure - not just that, he is as wholesome as it can get so you wouldn’t have to metion it. He wants the best for his princess!!! don’t mind the cost!!! (unless him paying for you would make you uncomfy… just be open about it darling)
You mentioned that you have a sibling. In a healthy relationship it is important that your partner and your sibling(s) can get along, which might lead to conflict in some cases - BUT NOT IN THIS ONE i mean Dia might overwhelm your family (being a prince and a demon u know) but he would really try his best for you and that is what matters!
(i feel appearig tired all the time fghjk)
Anyways your appearance wouldn’t like scare him off ar anything. Man is huge and strong but also a very sweet himbo
He falls for your soft side ngl. Like you crying over a bug is just so cute how could he not-
Oh darling he knows how to deal with ppl who keep to themselves.. have you ever heard about his 2 best men? 👀 you wouldn’t have much chance at keeping your emotions from him. He wants this relationship to be healthy!! he cares for you so much!!! also who couldve hurt you emotionally i mean who wants to mess with a future queen… it’s his personal job to make your feelings be safe!!!!
its all worth it because spending time with a happy you is the best thing that has ever happened to him
you’re fun and he’s fun and its unlimited fun!!!!!
your confidence when it comes to talking to ppl you like is great!! not everyone dares talking to him, which makes him lonely
but yea he is going to be the one to make the first move
you have the range when it coes to sports which is, again, nice as he is curious. you are going to have to help him try out all that!!
super interested in your hobbies and activities, which is a green flag! definitely indulging.
i think he is very supportive of your studies and he is going to do his best to support your studies at RAD. you could definitely impress him with your talent!!
hopefully studying at his academy is as good as your dreams of oxford
he can only hope that
i think he would appraciate your calm approach to life! he is also the same, although he has some baggage hidden under the surface - but no worries, he is going to open up when he realizes that he can trust you with his emotions.
you beig dependable is also a nice bonus, but he will have to make sure not to ask too much from you - knowing you are going to push yourself too much if needed.
you two would do like healthy couples do - every week there is a date; either a chat over tea which he likes and wants to share with you, or doing sports with you, or going go-karting, honestly the options are unlimited with this combination.
its imprtant that you both can depend on the other emotionally as well
one conflict might be because of his title, and also because you both tend to keep emotions to yourself. once you two can overcome these i think it should be a very healthy and mature and fun relationship! i think he would definitely fall for you but if you wanted to stay just friends he would be down too. he just can’t lose the one living person he can actually be himself around, can he ?
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7!!! We were busy this morning and I forgot to send this in!! Happy happy Monday! I hope the days been wonderful for you!! *hugs!!!* 😄💕💙✨🌼☀️
[hey, sorry ive been radio silent recently,, i got really overwhelmed from a stupid thing i did and freaked out a bit and havent really been talking with anyone online. Hopefully i didnt come off as too rude, but im chilling out a bit. I hope that the library has been goin good for u today]
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hi baby!! just a lil warning before i continue this ask it does hold a bit of angst but it gets fluffy dw! but take this: you and tetsu have been together for a while and friends even longer before you two got together and it's when it's his sister's birthday that he finally opens up to you about how he and his sister used to be really close before his parents' divorce. and as he opens up he starts crying a bit and he apologizes and asks if you could just forget about it for now (1/4)
and not wanting to push him you relent! after you both graduate though, you do some digging to try to find his sister again and it takes a really long time because his mom (who took his sister) ensured to cut off all connection with his dad (it was a bad divorce). it's when tetsu's career starts to kick off that you actually truly did find his sister. and !!! you help the two reunite! but get this, you and tetsu's older sister gets REALLY close and you guys go out for some bonding moments (2/4) and tetsu not only gets to rebuild his relationship with his sister but he watches the two of you bond just like how he wanted. tetsu knows that he was a bit scared entering a relationship with you, he doesn't really know what love is. the only example he's seen growing up was his parents and that ends badly. and even if the two of you fight here and there he knows that with you it's not the end, because you'll both work through it no matter what. after all, you taught him what love is. (3/4) AND THAT'S IT. not me asking for a request i just wanted to give u a short lil something. a dash of angst with fluff because hq characters w their siblings have been on my mind since their release. im sorry things are rough baby, i also hope this didnt overwhelm u or anything either, just a bit of a distraction hopefully? whatever u need i'll be here for u! even if you don't know me. drink some water for me, yeah? get some rest if u can and take a deep breath. take care of urself -a mutual (4/4)
🥺🥺🥺🥺 thank you so much for this bubba i appreciate this more than you can ever imagine thank you so much im gonna cry :'((((((
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some various sides-related info from the members livestream:
-season 3 is going to be written and filmed in bulk, with all or a good portion of it being done at the same time which will hopefully seriously decrease the wait between videos!!
-patreon money is going towards increasing production value specifically new cameras and mics!
-all thats left in season 2 is “one or two sanders asides episodes” and then the finale
-virgil does (in fwsa) know that janus got accepted and he is “not happy about it”
-”justice for bathroom guy? who knows. maybe” thomas x bathroom guy shippers grab your toilet paper
-”is that fair to him is definitely referring to the cute stranger- he doesnt give an f about janus” :(
-nico will be a recurring character & is specifically puerto rican! also the question he asked thomas was about the carrots lol
-the entire endcard was spitballed like a week before the video released, including the purple eyeshadow
-the eyeshadow isnt just “virgil being happy” its specifically the butterflies in the stomach kind of feeling because anxiety + excitement are the same chemicals! also roman didnt acknowledge it because it has “probably happened before” (and it probably will return again)
-”in a similar way that logan, although not present in moving on part 2 after he left, still showed evidence he was there- patton and logan make a cameo in the endcard. in a similar way. and were just gonna leave it there, because i dont wanna spell it out for you guys”
-the stimming in endcard was suggested by joan (who has adhd) who didnt know that was stimming until the fandom pointed it out fhdbgfkf. also thomas is looking into whether hes maybe adhd himself!!!!
-confirmation that all asides fit chronologically into the tl
-thomas watches a lot of sides animatics on youtube + they inspired the format of fwsa!
-nicos name was between luca/luka, diego, and nico (which is short for nicolas!)
-logan says to vote, patton says to hug ur pets and also vote, remus says butts
-overwhelming theme throughout the stream is how many ideas were joans everyone say thank u joan!!!!!!!!
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do u have any anime recs?? ive only watched the popular ones like haikyuu, bnha and aot but its kinda overwhelming to look for new ones so im asking u since i know & trust that u have good taste
ooohhhhhh boyyyy im vibrating bc 1) you’re asking me for anime recs 2) yOU SAID I HAVE GOOD TASTE HDJK THANK 🥺💞
okay but being serious here ,,, i’m not sure exactly what genres you’re looking for so i’ll put a list of my favorites + other ones similar to those 3 you might enjoy :))) if you have anything specific in mind lmk !!! i recently compiled a list of everything i’ve watched / tried to watch (it’s quite embarrassing actually) so hopefully there’s something you’ll like on there 😊
fullmetal alchemist: brotherhood
genre: shounen, action, fantasy, women characters being badass
very brief summary: two boys learn alchemy and try to get their bodies back, ends up unravelling government conspiracy in the process
this is my all time favorite uhdfdjks
top tier, a masterpiece truly
i'd rate it 100/10 but it surpasses that honestly
it's just really REALLY good
might be a little bit slow in the beginning but trust me it picks up quickly
if you’re interested it’s originally a manga and has some more details the anime left out !!!
assassination classroom / ansatsu kyoushitsu
genre: shounen, school, action, kids being kids but with knives and guns
brief summary: a class of kids are assigned to kill a super monster before he blows up the earth in exactly one year - the catch is that he’s their homeroom teacher :D
basically kids learning how to be assassins but also trying to pass school and it's all very heartfelt and you WILL adopt them all
10/10 i cry every time
honestly watch this first it’s very easy to follow
also a manga with a few storylines the anime left out, not crucial but i recommend anyways since i read it first before the anime even came out and it just has a special place in my heart
genre: shounen, urban fantasy, gods being literal disasters someone pls help them
brief summary: a girl accidentally meets an unknown god and asks him for his help, slowly learns more about his world (i’m so sorry this is really vague but it’ll all be covered in the first episode trust me)
the gods can find spirits (dead people) and turn them into weapons if that’s cool
sexy animation !!!!!
only big flaw with the anime is that they mess up the main character’s characterization a little bit so you might want to read the manga? also only has two seasons and the manga is further along ,,, but everyone is currently stressed tf out over the plot ohmygod ,,,
gekkan shoujo nozaki-kun
genre: romantic comedy but heavy emphasis on comedy, slice of life, literal chaos
brief summary: a girl has a crush on a guy who turns out to be a manga artist, she winds up being his assistant (this barely covers it though)
a bunch of high school kids being chaotic and oblivious
just watch it i can’t really explain it in words you’ll be laughing a lot
only one season so if you enjoy there’s also more chaos in the manga
your lie in april / shigatsu wa kimi no uso
genre: shoujo, classical music !!!!
brief summary: a former piano prodigy who no longer plays because he can’t hear music meets a violinist that brings color into his life once again
this is top tier
so beautiful hhdjfdks
i watched this on my new tv and shed real tears
as a pianist/musician i adore it a lot hhhhh the pieces they chose to play are all the favs (i performed a medley with my violinist friend for a show once hahahah)
a little sad tho beware of feels
the opening song is like . so freaking well known omg
akame ga kill!
genre: shounen, action, lots of fighting and blood, war
brief summary: a boy joins a group of assassins who are working to overthrow the shithole government (yea sounds kind of basic but there’s more to it)
mainly just girls with weapons
i mean there’s guys too but the girls are the best characters
the weapons are lowkey magical too
yea this is where my nickname came from lol
the anime gets a 7/10 but the manga probably 8/10
manga is darker, more graphic but better plotwise
no game no life
genre: shounen, a bit of ecchi ugh, lots of mind games
brief summary: two genius gamer siblings get transported to a world where everything is decided by games, they decide they want to beat god
very colorful and pretty animation!!!!
there’s some questionable “fanservice” moments but ignoring that the plot is legit
only one season tho :(( pls it was so popular when it came out where is s2
there is a movie prequel, a lot more angsty but still vv good
ao haru ride
genre: shoujo, the usual high school romance, slice of life
brief summary: a girl meets the guy she used to have a crush on, only to find that his personality has completely changed (she has too though)
insert falling back in love
one of the shoujo classics haha
i binged this in one night a few weeks ago
not sure if it was worth it but i had fun lmao
just a low stakes cute anime
also very pretty
only 12 eps, the manga finishes later
genre: just music boys being gay lol (jk it’s kind of sad)
brief summary: a boy learns to move on from his ex by joining a band (this is possibly the shittiest summary ever but i dont wanna give anything away hdjhkjs)
just watch it lmao it’ll make sense
band boys !!!
feels but not overwhelming
the comedy is top notch though
i adore given so much hhjkdf waiting for the movie to come out
THE MUSIC IS SO GOOD
all the songs are on spotify i listen to them way too much
yuri on ice
genre: figure skaters being gay that’s all you need to know
brief summary: a figure skater falls into a slump, somehow winds up with the top skater as his coach (yet another shitty summary sorry)
hmm this isn’t actually one of my favorites but it’s popular enough so why not
i just really love figure skating hfjdks
it’s pretty accurate i’d say! there are even easter eggs of top men skaters irl hahah
definitely dramatized lol
but still pretty fun
bungou stray dogs
genre: shounen, urban fantasy, very dapper mafia / detectives
brief summary: a kid on the run after getting kicked out of his orphanage accidentally saves a detective, shit goes down from there
pretty fun as you learn about their powers, watch them solve mysteries
the fighting is cool too
until the machine guns appear ugh i just tune that part out
oh yea all the characters are named for actual literary figures and i didnt realize until s2 💀
genre: shounen, magic/fantasy, action, friends !!!!!
brief summary: just mages in guilds going on quests lolol what more do you want
fr it’s honestly quite chill
like there’s definitely an ongoing plot and lots of subplots / arcs
but it’s very character driven
so many cool character designs
was OBSESSED w this in middle school ,,, highkey embarrassing omg
one of the big anime/manga, if you like bnha i’m sure you’ll have fun with fairy tail
this was a stupidly long list and im clearly way too excited ,,, if you have any questions or just want to scream about any of these, my inbox is always open ;)))
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episode one: “that challenge was going to drive me coco-nuts” - kat
evicted: sydney (15-2)
YOUSEF VL: https://youtu.be/Jw1heRihKN8
NATHAN VL: https://youtu.be/4uwmeObBBMs
ok so. returnees vs newbies is an interesting dynamic and im ok with it. never been on the newbies side of it but im LIVING FOR IT tbh. hoping that the inactives go early on and then the returnees push against each other a bit later and fight amongst each other. im THINKING. i should be ok early on! idk if i'm going to go for immunity rn? i'd rather it but i'd just do whatever johnny says bc im here to let everyone else make the decisions LMFAO. APPARENTLY monty and johnny are close? which works for me and jules. and hopefully works for kate too. hope we can stick together that'd be cute. and yousef too that'd be cute i got some numbers w me. BOOM. im feeling ok rn. feeling ok.
I'm a little overwhelmed with keeping up with the messages and everything. Nathan is kind of indecisive about this first HOH but I really don't want to play it and would rather pick flight.Vlin just told me he has my back, and ily him but as I said before I still don't expect a lot
Okay so I suppose I should discuss the "strategy" I have for this season, and my goals: I'm a pretty heavy social game player so I plan to use that to my advantage, BUT I have growth areas from my last game that I would like to work on. My #1 growth area in my last game was denial and just my ability to be misted by people. I'm WAY too trusting of people and I was being misted by ppl I thought I was misting in my last game. Another growth area is my comp abilities, I wasn't the worst in comps a lot but I by far wasn't the best and I just had a really hard time with understanding directions for comps and also memorizing things. It was really laughable, I am the worst at following directions. My third growth area, is that I kind of have a martyr complex and I need to like calm the fuck down. And what I'd say my final growth area is is that I have a tendency to become really crackedt and it can definitely hurt me
My greatest strength i'd say, even irl, is my adaptability. I adjust to big changes really well and what got me to fifth place in Isaac's org, besides being the sandwich between Ryan and Christopher, was my ability to adjust my mindset and game to situations that could easily hurt me
Another strength I have is my social game, in my past org I often even accidently learned really personal things about ppl that I could never use against them and til this day would never talk about, but regardless, those conversations made me appear trusting and genuine rather than fake
And my last strength is HONESTLY luck. Good 'ol luck. I was a mess in my last org internally and although a lot of my strengths were utilized and really really helped me, my growth areas never killed my game a lot because I simply got lucky
anyways, bye. stream American Boy by Kanye West
ME HAVING TO PLAY WITH JOHNNY AGAIN
It was the first day in the big brother pasio house and WHEW it was CRAZY. I seriously thought that I was a social player from all of the survivor games I have played but this is on a whole nother level. When my plane landed irl the game literally began. Picture me in the car with my dad typing furiously to all 20 people that messaged me LOL. I think he thought I was cracked. We had lots of fun today and played animal crossing. CUTE> I find Eve a bit intimidating because she put out a video saying she is a villian. All throughout the call tonight she kept reminding us that too ugh!!! I am SPOOKED. I feel very overwhelmed right now but I should keep the rest of my judgements until tomorrow.
doin ok! already thinking i might be overplaying LMAO. im feeling good with anthony, aria, chloe, johnny, jules, kate, yousef... like em all. 5 of em are newbies which is nice bc i'd like to be #NEWBIESTRONG but i dont wanna play the lines too strong. ik that eventually the returnees will band together but that wont be until later in the game. it just makes sense to bc the newbies... will target them... like im thinking abt right now!!! but idk it's heating up. finally got around to talking to kat and had 1 convo. her partner is sydney which works for me bc i dnt rly have any relationship with either. im tryna ... not be me when talking to kat bc i wanna be at a distance? i dont wanna be close to EVERYONE yknow. dont wanna be playing too hard and i dont wanna be hoh any time soon. ig being able to go for immunity def helps me out on that front tho which is nice. im gna PREVAIL. FIGHTING THRU THE FIRE AND FLAMES. idk i just wanted to say smth cool so u have material for ep titles LMAO. I'M FEELING PRETTY GOOD! also it says i can send podcasts here who would send im a podcast what. i've been listening to the off menu podcast i'll just send u that next time w.e. bye.
(a little bit later)
oh nvm her partner is renee not sydney. LMAO WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE IDK. SYDNEY AND RENEE ARE RETURNEES TOO, ARENT THEY???
(a while later)
monty becoming hoh is fine! he's close with johnny and jules i think and they are two of my closest allies so i aint worried rn! should be nice. im expecting sydney to be nommed this week tbh? she didnt compete in the challenge and hasn't rly been around socially n that's fine w me. let the lambs go to slaughter. u kno how it is. maybe uhhhh let's think. sydney vs. renee noms? makalah going up would be fine too. or maybe katrina. idk im okay with any of em going bc i have ZERO relationship with em. u KNOW how it is. boom. done.
Hiii! So the first HoH competition just happened, and Jules and Monty won since they were the only ones to compete. Lukas and I decided to go for immunity (altho I still wanted to throw this also, but we ended up flopping it anyways lmao) because I really did NOT want the first HoH, or probably any prejury HoHs really. It can put you in a really tough spot, especially with a cast of 19 other players.
I feel like I have been incredibly social, messaging all the other cast members first for the most part. Conversations are happening here and there, but nothing very substantial. Sydney is basically completely MIA so she will likely be one nominee, no idea who the other will be, but probably Renee if I had to guess.
I'm a bit worried about alliances, since I normally usually have at least one by now. The people I'm clicking with most is still hard to determine, but people that come to mind are Kat, Aria, Jules, Lukas, Monty and Dylan, I suppose. I think I'm in pretty good with everyone right now though. I'd like to think so, at least.
Until next time!
at least i'm not gonna go from winning to first boot hehe
hey hey! so life is a nightmare and i think everyone hates me already fdahsbfhdsa, like I get we're all balancing convos but when I have to wait hours for an answer to "hows it going" when they're the ones who started the convo,,, perhaps im just needy fsdbajfd
Either way things seem to be going pretty okay for me! I guess its the calm before the storm, Anthony approached me about making a trio between us and owen which i said yes to (who says no to an alliance??) although owen seems kinda hesitant which is worrying, im kinda scared about it leaking and all that but thats usual things
In terms of pregames, jules watched me win a speed before and shes super fun funky fresh, me and makalah played an org before where we fell on opposite sides and on the block together so im perched for a fresh start, and then i've seen caleb around my usual communities so we decided we would team up for this which is great
ALSO just did a vc with anthony and made a f2 called dumbass bitches b/c why not, we talked a bunch of honest strat but i cant help the feeling that hes making more duos or at least hes a smart player. Kinda feel like hes just hyping me up a bunch and all that but I'll keep him in my back pocket for now
lowkey i have a problem w/ vcs because im scared of awkward silence so then i ramble and end up annoying everyone,, which isnt great
had a vc w/ monty where he said im safe and said maybe renee and sydney might be possible noms??
God and it’s already as overwhelming as I remembered it. 19 people ......... anyway.
Monty won HOH, which I feel partially alright about. I’ve played with Monty before and we didn’t get along in the game , but I’m hoping that’s all in the past and he wants to stick w me. I also know Johnny and Emily. I love them both so I’m nothing but happy to see them. Emily is NOT winning again tho and y’all can count on that.
Caleb and I fuckeddded up that challenge but I think we have a nice bond now. My fav person so far is Aria. She’s the sweetest fucking person ever and I wanna stick with her forever. I’ll make a video DR later when shit pops off
Omg, I've said it a thousand times over and I'll say it again... but, I truly cannot believe I'm playing BB Pokemon again. I truly never expected to play again, so getting the chance to play in the series that has brought me the most memories is so special. This time around I'm feeling much more balanced and honestly just mature. The last two times I played I didn't really play a game that was myself, rather a character of myself I wanted to play and it ultimately was my demise two times over. This season I'm ready to make bonds that are true, but also not be the BIGGEST social butterfly. Oftentimes I become too social and it makes a target of me. This first week is all about creating bonds and finding those select few people that I can ROCK with. As of now, I am loving Aria, Johnny, Chloe, and you can throw Kate in there as well. Monty winning HOH isn't really the worst case scenario, we didn't talk as much as I would have liked, but we also had a really genuine conversation before and we talked about how playing together has always kind of been a pipe dream. If anything, I'm praying he pulls what I did in BotS and simps over me like I did over Shoib. The difference this time around is while I know a good chunk of these people, I don't have as bad of a history with a good chunk like I did with BotS (besides Eve) -- As long as Eve and I can put our differences aside, then I am praying I can get through these first few weeks scotch free. I just don't wanna be first boot... If I have to stroke Monty's ego or suck him off in the HOH room, I guess that's the strategy I may have to do in order to ensure safety. Pray for me, because it's gonna be a bumpy vacation.
I'm sending this before noms are posted but lmao I honestly am expecting a Sydney/Renee set? I think they are the two whose kind of been the most inactive but they started talking a bit more today!
I hate that its them because I actually really like Renee from our limited conversation and her intro video and I would love to keep her in. I hope she wins POV somehow.
I definitely am trying to build these relationships up with people to work with them down the road.
Kate has kind of already expressed interest in working together (FloridaGANG) and I also really like Johnny and Monty though nothing has been solidified with all those people.
As I said in the past DRs, me and Kat were close a while back so I am hoping to reignite that and maybe bring in some other people. I am going to talk w Yousef later so hes a definite option. I already have an alliance with Aria who is currently my Number 1 gal, and with Aria/Owen though idk if that one will last.
Nonetheless this week is all about building relationships and trust with people!!
(a little bit later)
Just had like a two hour convo with Yousef! King!!! I think I have his trust, idk we talked a good bit of game and I can see myself working w him in the long run. Nothing official yet, but I definitely think I've secured a strong bond w him just like I have with Aria!!
a lot of the time u feel like conversations are like a game of chicken where ur just waiting for the other person to stop replying to u LMAO. i like yousef a lot but sometimes it felt like the conversation was being drawn out just for the sake of it. i feel good about him tho i think at least in the early game he's someone i can trust a lot. he's obv really good socially tho so someone to watch for in the later stages for sure. he's basically the only person i've spoken to today tho except for jules a lil i think. i think im building myself some solid bonds or at least solid foundations rn and im happy w that.
(a little bit later)
so my game right now... seeing as it's still week 1... is basically just what i like to consider 'action by inaction'. episode title? maybe. im just tryna. not get into crosshairs. build relationships. slowly but surely. im barely DMing people, make sure they DM me first. make sure there are still clear, obvious targets around. I have a decent base of relationships as it stands, and a lot of people I'm good with are good with other people too so I'm feeling ok about it. like... I'm good with johnny, who is good with monty... and i'm good with yousef, who is good with eve... chloe idk. always an enigma LMAO love her tho. jules knows ppl so i need her on my good side ofc. anthony idk he's slimy. very slimy. i dont TRUST him. the way he was tryna act like *I* was the one that wanted the alliance. and he told aria that i wanted it. I DO NOT LIKE THAT. IT'S SLIMY! i dont wanna PLAY WITH HIM LMAO. he was too quick to be like 'hey let's be allies'. it was way sus. but yea I have a good base of like 6/7 people right now and I think I should definitely be safe in the early game. played some animal crossing with emily earlier too so building relationship there is helpful. I dunno if she'll be long for the game considering she's an ex-winner and all, though. feeling good about my position rn which means I've probably jinxed it and I'm out next lol woo!
i've decided rn i'm gonna throw this game for miss aria my QUEEN
(a little bit later)
ur gonna have a two time winner this season and its gonna be dylan winning biggest clown twice
Click HERE to see the Goodbye Messages for Sydney.
DAY 2 CAST ASSESSMENT: https://youtu.be/G3ueuR53T_I
WEEK ONE CAST ASSESSMENT: https://youtu.be/3qrAhju8GYI
update post, gonna put under a read more. its gonna be rambly and honest abt how i feel on certain things, why i’ve been gone and what im gonna do from now on etc. tw for mental illness !
i’ve been inactive for a month, almost 2 i think? its kind of painful to evaluate everything to be honest. i’ve had my blog for half a year. i really loved and had fun in the hphm fandom and ive met great people. people come and go, and im alright with that. when i first joined, i never expected so many people would enjoy ollie, my first ever mc. i was just so so happy and wanted to draw and share more of my oc stories and creations with everybody. as time gone on, i started feeling isolated, and slowly started getting more hate for various reasons and i felt very overwhelmed.
i’ve always tried my best to be kind to everybody and understand things from different perspectives but i realise that there are some people you can just never see eye to eye with no matter how hard u try. my mistake was trying too hard to get along with everybody. it rlly sucks when you find leaked convos of ppl you thought u were friends with insulting you, ppl you drew for and thought you had fun with talking smack behind ur back. its alright to not like me or my content ! i just dont see why ppl would interact positively with me and act a different way once my back is turned. i think its pretty...ugly, to be honest. if u rlly had an issue with me, dm me and lets talk it out civilly. i dont shy away from an honest conversation; if i truly did anything wrong i will admit to my mistakes, apologize and hopefully change for the better. we are all human, its normal to fuck up and theres always room for change.
its easy to say just ignore the hate and move on, and believe me thats exactly what i tried to do. it was really uncomfortable and i felt like i was just putting on a mask to remain positive, sociable and welcoming to everybody i interacted with. i did that for 3 months and overtime, it just crumbled. i felt really paranoid everytime i had an interaction, because i saw so much negativity about me that i wish i did not that i started to doubt every interaction i had. i didnt know if someone was pretending to be kind to me, i started to think what if they had heard bad things about me from others and were judging me etc, its a lot to handle. im a paranoid scizophrenic and feelings of paranoia manifest into auditory hallucinations for me. these feelings arent just a bad gut feeling. i hear people talking about me and how theyre going to hurt me because they hate me etc. its honestly really exhausting and its hard to tell whats real and fake and it makes me disassociate.
people believe what they want to believe. there’s always two sides to a story. i’m tired of being painted as somebody bad because of petty gossip, i’m tired of always needing to defend myself. once you’re on someone’s bad side, you’re judged and nitpicked for every single minor detail. its awful. if others vent, its alright because everyone has their problems and deserve to be heard! if i vent, its me being whiny and playing a victim card. people can easily twist your words to suit their narrative. words can hurt like a bitch, you know. i wish more people realised there’s weight in their words.
and to address this if its unclear; i’m no longer in a relationship and i ended it myself. i just dont feel like im in a good place mentally to sustain a rs for a very, very long time. i would also appreciate it if people can stop associating me with my previous partner. i do not want anything to do with them. i wont disclose any details out of respect but please respect how i feel on this.
to sum up i’m sorry if i’ve ever hurt anybody. i’m just tired of the negativity and the indirects. people who know me, know me. i always try to be kind but i have my limits too. i disappeared for two months because i couldnt cope with it, but I'm willing to try again. i’ll be very cautious with who i interact from now on, and i hope you can understand why. im just protecting myself. i want to have fun drawing and creating content for me and my friends and not for the sake of others, as it should have been from the very start. i just want to have fun again and to slowly learn to trust people. thank you if you read this to the very end, it was just an honest and long ramble of how i’ve been feeling. i hope i can share more of ollie and my other ocs with everybody and that with time, i can let go of the painful things i’ve experienced before.
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Sorry if it's horrible!! This is my first oneshot and iknowit'sbadbuthopefullyyou'lllikeit-
Coffee shop Au: Warmth
Barista!Izuku x Flirty!Reader
The beanery was usually hard to find since it's surrounded by bushes of green trees, but then again.. it's the reason why there's not a lot of people, so it's more peaceful. Not only is it surrounded by nature, it's also high up a village and far from the city.
The yellow lights were dim but it partnered great with the walls that was mostly made of dark oak trees, there's not much designs going on like signs and posters, but it does have lots of windows with the nicest views. all in all.. You'd say it's your perfect coffee shop.
Being a specialist in the medical field, it mostly took your time and energy away, so you would go here on breaks just to rest a little and maybe find a tinge of fun.
"Hi! Welcome to 'A hero's brew', what would be your order?" one of the staff smiled, eyes closed. "Hey midoriya." his eyelids yanked up. "-a-ah! y/n-chan, hello" he then turned his gaze at the counter, cheeks flushed while hands were gripping onto eachother.
The-so-called y/n leaned on the counter and settled her chin on both her hands, "I'll get a-" "-actually y/n-chan, i think i already um.. Have your order down.." the boy trailed off, fearing that it might've made you uncomfortable.
He inhaled sharply, heart going doki-doki, when you suddenly interrupted the silence. "oh.. Is that so~" a teasing smirk forming on your face.
"Wha- it's because you've been here for millions of times! but i don't mean thats a bad thing i just kinda memorized it and uh--" he rambled off while his hands flew up in all directions, completely embarrassed. "I-im just gonna..m-make your order, please take a sit wherever you please" he finished, stumbling to the other station.
You got up from your position, smiling at his aloofness. E/c eyes searched around the empty chairs and tables when you spotted your favorite seat and giddily walked towards it. It had a window that was perfectly angled so you can see the village below it. Creepy as it sounds, watching people interact and smile always comforted you. Even if they didn't know that you existed. Just the mere thought of you not being alone is enough.
You sat down and sighed in satisfaction. Your eyes wandered to your side revealing a beautiful sight. Small bits of fog can be seen, trees with lovely white flowers, and some agile birds flying tree to tree.
But what lies below it interested you more. The handcrafted houses for example, the kids playing around and a family of four,
Warmth was what you felt, but when you looked back to the green barista, your smile widens. You know that he too can provide you this kind of warmth, and it'll be 10x better.
Izuku slowly dettached his eyes from the coffee maker to your figure. Chuckling to himself when he saw your eyes filled with stars, as the novel he once read would say.. For research purposes.
His gaze just involuntarily settled to you, and he'd find happiness in the things you do. Even a small action like giggling to yourself at unexpected times or like how you hide yourself in your arms when you curse outloud. He felt his heartbeat start to quicken when he remembered realizing that he loves her.. A lot. Even if she's flirty and that it sometimes would overwhelm him. Okay not sometimes..
Completely engrossed with you, his co-worker, Shoto todoroki, decided to snap him out of his current stance with a simple- "midoriya." "a-ah right!! Sorrysorry.." he quickly returned to what he was doing, his face bright red. Unknownst to him, you watched the scene unravel, smiling smugly because you knew he had been staring since a while ago.
You started to doze off but shook your head to not let izuku feel sorry, guilty and hate himself, since you knew he overthinks a lot. You're more than willing to wait but its just that you're a tad bit tired. You know that everything takes time. Shaking your head again, you grabbed the cold glass of water and pressed it against your skin to maybe try and wake you a little.
Now your brew wasn't that complicated, it's just he greatly exerts effort whenever he had to handle your order, it might take longer sometimes but he was glad that you'd patiently wait, you didn't complain to the manager and he noticed that even if you need sleep, you stay up because you didnt want to worry him that its taking too long. It made izuku Fall for you even further.
"u-um here you go y/n-chan, hopefully you'd enjoy it." he said, placing a cup filled with f/b and a plate of f/c carefully on your table. You jolted up, but kept your posture a real quickie. Had to be the flirty one in this au. "You know i'd enjoy everything you'd offer me izuku." You winked, he blushed, yet again."u-uh i- uh- t-thank you?"
Sure you do always have this playful remark, but he couldn't get used to it. He doesn't do well with the word 'flirting'. He is adorably timid and pure, all the reason as to why you love this green boi so much.
As izuku waddled back to his spot, he couldn't help but scrunch his apron to where his heart would be. He can hear it drumming loud in his ears and feel it pulsate through his veins. Even if its hurting his ribcage, still, a shy smile made it's way up to his freckled face.
He turned around for a second to squeal and then turned back to try and regain his composure. When you unexpectedly called his name. "Izuku?" "y-yes!" he answered, nervously. "..sit with me?" you asked while he exploded, "w-what? a-a-are you s-sure??" he asked. Y/n nodded "i mean i would want to but i still have to work and all an-" he continued but was cut off by a nudge.
He looked back and saw all of his co-workers giving him a thumbs up. He gulped, unsure if he should or shouldn't but in the end..
He sat infront of you, with stiff shoulders, trembling legs and averted eyes, 'this was the first time she asked me to do this' he thought. "could you pass me the tissue" "u-uh sure y/n-chan" he went to grab it but accidentally made the glass water flop towards you. Izuku gasped in horror and threw a ton of tissue on you while saying tons of sorry. You, however stayed silent, but then bursted out in laughter. A genuine smile graced your lips, not a smug or a teasing one but a real one, and damn was it beautiful. He opted to laugh too, Not really getting if he said a joke or something, especially after the accident he had done, but he was glad that he made you happy.
After letting him get comfortable and shooing his insecurities away, aka talking about heroes. You then asked, "so.. Care to go out for lunch with me?" pink hue visible on your cheeks. "YES! Wait what did you say?..OH". He didnt know but his immediate answer was the 'yes' option, barely understanding what Y/n said. But when it did, his brain got whacked with millions of questions like 'is this considered as a date?!' or 'should i wear the blue shirt or the..'
"Great! Gotta go, bye Izu-kun" you pecked his lips and ran to the exit. He slapped his mouth with widened eyes and struggled to find any words "did-..i-..she just-" and then he fainted.
. . .
f/b - favorite beverage
f/c - favorite cake
e/c - eye color
y/n - your name
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