#HOW DO I KEEP GETTING IT

[laughingcatwrites]

As a reminder that good exists out there, a coworker recently confessed to me that he found out his child is questioning their identity (kid's gender redacted for this post). The kid is keeping it from him, so he can't say anything to them or show that he knows, but he's doing his best to get mentally prepared and educated so that he'll be ready whenever his kid does feel comfortable enough come to him.

For context, this guy is a big, bulky middle aged dude who loves sports and typical outdoor "manly" activities. As his coworker and friend, I know he's a kind and sweet teddy bear of a person, but his kid probably views him as a stern, authoritarian figure, the way most teenagers view their parents. His family lives in a conservative area, so I'm sure between that, their dad's looks and interests, and the fact that their dad is a Figure of Authority, the kid is worried that they won't be accepted.

But you know what? When he found out about his kid, the first thing he did was reach out to his closest queer friend and ask for resources for parents of questioning children. His biggest fears are that his kid will be bullied or discriminated against and won't feel comfortable enough to be themself. His second action was to find himself a mentor in another parent who went the same situation (kid coming out in a conservative town). The other person is preparing him for some of the struggles his kid may face and the fights he may need to take on as a parent to make sure his kid is safe and treated well.

Something I want to emphasize for people focused on language as the primary method of allyship is that when we spoke, he used some outdated terms and thoughts about gender and sexuality. That does not make him bad. These were the terms and thinking used about questioning teenagers when he was growing up and he never needed to learn more current ones. But now that he does have that need, he's throwing himself in head first because that's his kid and he's darn well going to make sure that his kid feels welcomed and has a safe place to be themselves even if they never come out to him.

#I'm so proud and happy for my coworker and I've been trying to figure out how to let him know how amazing I think he is #what gets me the most is that he's keeping this super down low to avoid giving any hints to his kid #he has a lot of queer friends so he already is known as an ally but there's always a chance it will be different if it's family #and he took that chance and crumpled it up into a ball and slam dunked it into the garbage for three points #and decided that even if his kid wants to hide it from him for the rest of his life he will still do what he can to make their life better #pflag #parents doing their best #parenting win #good news #allyship

[sayaberry]

being completely and utterly normal about the bombshell that just dropped

#HOW THE FUCK DOES HE KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT #anyway for those who don't know; toby fox managed to get an interview with yume nikki creator who is literally infamous not doing them #and not only interviews. kikiyama has been nearly if not totally completely radio silent FOR NEARLY 2 DECADES since yume nikki came out #toby fox wielding his immense power for good and i respect it. i also respect kikiyama's denny's order #yume nikki #undertale #deltarune

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone #yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post. #writeblr #ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person #and on this blog we support workers. #at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going. #when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens #have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists #and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like. #it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases - #at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory. #it was what i had seen. #and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference #we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol' #so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender #and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID. #he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different #i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.

[taffywabbit]

reminding myself there are no truly "bad days", because every single day, someone somewhere in the world has taken a photo of an extremely tiny animal and shown it to someone else, and that's very good actually

#buny text #bless the people who take photos of incredibly small baby bunnies and post them on line. they are what keeps me going #when i was running the bunnieswithVGM twitter it was like. genuinely a healing experience getting to look at rabbit photos regularly #i highly recommend looking at pics of very small rabbits and thinking to yourself 'you tiny fucking thing. how do you exist' #it's very important and also fun. and then you can share those images with a friend #the tiny fucking animals on the internet are free and you can take them with you

[floweroflaurelin]

How do you want to do this?

—

Goodbye, Faithful Caregiver.

#critical role #fcg critical role #cr fcg #bells hells #critical role fanart #critical role campaign 3 #cr3 #bells hells fanart #critical role art #cr fanart #otohan thull #fresh cut grass #floweroflaurelin art #ashton greymoore #fearne calloway #dorian storm #orym of the air ashari #cr frida #imogen temult #laudna #chetney pock o'pea #sam riegel #critical role spoilers #cr spoilers #rip fcg #AHHHHHHHH #SOBBING AND SCREAMING #this took SO LONG but I had to get these feelings out #four days on a single project I need you to understand how unprecedented this is for me #sam riegel WHY do you keep making me CRY

[anniilaugh]

”So.. somebody forgot to mention it’s their birthday, huh.” 💚💛

#it’s marimo’s bday yay #roronoa zoro #black leg sanji #zosan #one piece #zoro #sanji #anniinart #sketches #lol these were supposed to be a part of a different story but who cares #and the art styles don’t even match hah I’m just enjoying drawing what ever atm #might draw this scene into a comic I had something more angsty in mind #also goddamn maybe I’ll need to use reference next time lmao how do beefy guys work zoro you’re too much for me #dude just keeps getting wider

[welcometogrouchland]

[ID in ALT] I've made posts before about Talia/Dick co-parenting Damian moments (will never happen but let me dream) and this came to me in a vision. Took me ages to finish for some reason 😭 and then even longer to post

#dc comics #dc #damian wayne #dick grayson #talia al ghul #batfamily #dc robin #nightwing #anyway. yes im a self-indulgent ''dick as damians secret third parent'' truther #like i DO think it's way more complex and nuanced than the schmoopy affectionate fan portrayal of it #they're brothers they're father and son they're partners they're the dynamic duo except only in past tense etc etc #but consider! I'm not immune to schmoopy affection in fanworks. it compells me despite itself #anyway it's technically not that crazy when it comes to dick and damian. they hug! often! at least they did #it's not as big a leap to these types of scenarios #also talia ''somewhat absent for complex reasons on both her and damians part but very loving and loved by her son'' al ghul #you will always be famous to me #son of the demon origin...bwahhh #anyway. someone made a comic kind of like this/like a post i made abt this topic #but way funnier bc dick and talia starting trying to beat each other up #so go look at that as well #anyway. it's been a somewhat difficult few weeks so I'm. desperately trying to take it easy #i got some reading with me (first vol of kevin smiths GA run that i found second hand and jaimes BB run vol 2!) #so we'll see how far i get through those. considering there's demons in my head telling me to re-read things (LET ME OUT!!!) #when i finish GA and BB i do plan on rereading robin 2021. as a treat to myself #it's a run I've really warmed up to as time went on #I'm keeping up w/ the current b&r run even though it is. admittedly very slow w/ some weird dialogue #i read it for the damian content more than anything. also nikas back so that's neat :] #idk I have a feeling that after absolute power shakes out we might get some more creative team switch ups #so if anyone at dc is interested in taking over the reigns on b&r...that could be very neat #(it's me they should hire me. please DC i have ideas listen to my red hood pitch PLEASE-)

[i-am-a-fish]

I just had the most cathartic experience of my entire life

this terrible job I've been working at, I just handed in my resignation because I finally got a new job

and I told my boss EVERYTHING that is wrong with the company, and why so many people are leaving

the salary is too low, we don't always get lunch breaks, and the vehicles we work on are genuinely dangerous

I even told him about the trans discrimination I received, specifically from him.

I won't get into all of it, I'm just so excited to be out of that place. I know nothing is going to change there, but it felt amazing to hand in my resignation form, and even more amazing to tell him why I was leaving

fuck

#I have so much adrenaline #do you know how hard it is to tell someone they are being transphobic while being respectful and keeping your composure? #what a terrible company I'm so glad I get to leave

[egophiliac]

some (extremely) quick doodles to celebrate the glorious return of glorious masquerade! I haven't had a chance to do much personal drawing lately, but I didn't want to let it go by without doing something!

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #glorious masquerade #every time they do a rerun event they should make everyone's hats bigger #i feel that this should be true of every game #i think eng might be getting it this year? if so someone PLEASE tell me if they keep the 'be cool' line #the only localization that matters to me #meanwhile aside from foxman and catboy our halloween event this year is shrouded in mystery #i know they want to do a big fancy announcement and i am looking forward to it! #but it is pretty hilarious to look at the schedule and see basically just 'halloween event 2023 - wait for the abema' #look twst i just want to know if i need to save my keys or if i can waste them all in another bid at masquerade malleus #how pretty are the cards going to be. i need to know.

[peachdeluxe]

now-sold adopt in first pic and a design i ended up keeping for myself in second

#art #original #hardest part of making designs for sale that arent custom... how do you not get too attached and just keep them... #they ended up looking kind of similar #ig i have just been into coloring plaid lately

[theriverbeyond]

you see this bitch running around your dream bubble wyd

#awake remembrance of these valiant dead #commander wake #tlt cosplay #wake cosplay progress tag #gideon nav talking time #<- my cosplay tag #SHE ISNT DONE BUT IM TOO EXCITED TO KEEP HER UNDER WRAPS ANYMORE :DDDDDD #left to do: dog tags. finish painting knife. get adhesive off of mask filter #i kinda wanna figure out how to make baby G float?? but. unsure how to do that. #cosplay progress tag

[tiffanyachings]

“Fiat lux! If you want to talk improbable, let’s talk about this”—a scrape of stone on stone—“being three thousand and some years older than this.” A heavy clunk.

“Inexplicable, Warden.”

“Certainly not. Like everything else in this ridiculous conglomeration of cooling gas, it’s perfectly explicable, I just need to explic-it.”

“Indubitable, Warden.”

“Stop that. I need you listening, not racking your brain for rare negatives. Either this entire building was scavenged from a garbage hopper, or I am being systematically lied to on a molecular level.”

“Maybe the building’s shy.”

“That is just tough shit for the building.”

#hi. trying out new brushes / style. canaan house dungeon crawl let's go #camilla hect #palamedes sextus #the locked tomb #gideon the ninth #field sketches #* #trivia section: #1) literally do not ask me how lighting works. i am making it up #2) also nobody ask about the list of rare negatives i keep in my notes app #3) the reason i keep drawing palamedes in the same shirt is bc i own it. if we all chip in maybe i can get him a new one #4) in addition to the cam hiking boots agenda i hereby present the cam sweater vest agenda. she's in her off duty librarian era

[s-aint-elmo]

Falin has been nearsighted since she was little, and has a habit of squinting when she's looking at things. —Delicious in Dungeon World Guide: The Adventurer's Bible

she should have been at the optometrist's

(ID in alt text)

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #falin touden #marcille donato #laios touden #doodles #mine #falin's closed eyes canonically just being squinting is one of the funniest word of god additions to a story ever #noticing how she started keeping them open post-rez n being like ''wow that's such a cool way to introduce a disconnect between the falin w #heard of n the falin we're meeting now. i wonder how this plays into the dragon thing'' and it's just. it's just. She Can See Now #i do think if she ever did get glasses they'd be no use bc she doesn't like wearing them. marcille has to wrestle them onto her face #after wrestling them out of laios's hands #protip: they're in their flashback designs bc that chapter is burned into my brain permanently. laimar one-sided enemies to besties + #farcille cheek-pinching as a love language 5ever

[amelia-yap]

it's april and they are bloody fools

#ruby rose #weiss schnee #whiterose #white rose #rwby #my art #please kiss #also i haven't drawn weiss' atlas fit in a long time #kinda forgot bits and pieces lol #how is it already april #btw #the other day #i found these among us plushies online #an d then i got them cause they looked pretty nice and are about palm sized #so naturally i got a red and white one #wanted to get a black and yellow one too cause the full team but idk #dunno where i would even put them #maybe next time when i clear away all the junk on my desk lol #but yeah #ruby and weiss are fucking idiots i need them to hug #and i need to do my homework but i keep doing these silly doodles lmao

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Get Their Ass.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #jin ling #jin chan #Yeah that's right. This guy is a named character. All those nameless disciples in the yi city arc and *this* guy gets a name. #Jin ling finally gets his much needed outfit upgrade! Rest in peace double straps. #I adore how we get to keep learning about Jin Ling and peeling back the layers on him...It's also so sad to see him so alone and friendless #especially knowing he really was starting to build peer friendships in the yi city arc... #Jin ling really is one of my top 5 characters in MDZS and its absolutely in part because of how you can *see* how he ended up this way #and we watch him learn and grow! He's doing what most adults refuse to do: Consider that his opinions are skewed and need to change. #You are NOT immune to propaganda and I adore characters who reflect and struggle with that! #Just because someone with assumed authority says something that fits into what you want to be true does not make it true B*/ #In this series about rumours and warped perspectives - Jin Ling is a great example of how hard you have to work for the truth #+1 points of friendship with jin ling: He will self correct himself if he says a slur now

[slavhew]

charmed, i'm sure

#homestuck #hom3stuck #jake english #dirk strider #dirkjake #jakedirk #admin draws #fanart #thats what you get for shrimping bro. i told you about the shrimping #to anyone whos been around for a while you can tell im quite obviously obsessed with that pose. that specific way of hugging urself #dirk was never escaping that #i need to draw some janeroxy too it bangs sm and i need to balance out this sausage party ive had going on in my head for the last xyz #how long has it been. how many weeks since ive seen natural light. #whatever. #id keep this to post in a batch with other drawings but it did well on its own on twt so i might as well post it here as is #feel like batchposting several basically finished drawings doesnt do me much good anyways. better serves smaller sketches on the same theme #ramble ramble