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tuagonia · 3 years

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mistletoe - adam du mortain x f! detective

Pairing: Adam du Mortain x f!detective Summary: The detective catches an unsuspecting Adam under the mistletoe during the division’s holiday party. Rating: G/T (to be sure).Pretty tame, just fluff. Warning: alcohol mention. Word Count: 2.3k Note: I just really really wanted to write this scene that cropped up in my head during a f u n bout of insomnia. I’d like to think this takes place teetering on the edge right before the deep romance sweeps these two fools away. Anyway i used this fic as a way to get over my fear of writing for twc and to get to know my detective... before i launch into the other ideas i have.

—

It’s not that she’s drunk.

No. Not drunk.

Happy, most definitely, and loquacious. More than the usual amount of conversation that he’s used to. And more laughter.

Definitely more laughter.

It’s an unrefined, rough, pitched-at-the-end sound he’s grown used to (fond of?) over the last year.

Where the more uncouth the subject... the more untamed it becomes, and fighting the stiff edges of his mouth to remain in place becomes an active task.

There’s something so unsuspecting about it too, like how everything concerning her has been up to now.

Olivia dances with Felix and Nate, and his oldest friend attempts to teach her how to move with the steps that feel like a lifetime ago. Where her shoulders, ankles, hips twist and she turns on the spot.

She sways with the motions of days gone past, as if she’s caught time in her hands — the elixir to it in her mug of wine clasped firmly in her grip — and Nate praises her.

Adam didn’t catch the name, he didn’t care for it six decades ago and he doesn’t think he’ll bother remembering it now. But he’s certain it’s something as ridiculous sounding as it looks... if she weren’t doing it surprising justice.

When she spins in Felix’s arms, the silver, sparkling discs of her dress catch in the station’s white light and he’s dazzled...more than he usually already is.

No. Not drunk.

Just happy.

In the handful of instances she stops by him during her social rounds, she asks if he wants anything -- a refill of the uninspiring wine? -- and his responses are short. Yes. No. Good. Hmm. And when he doesn’t have the words he manages a slight shake of his head or a passive shrug.

Too distracted by the smile on her face, the mischief he can see twinkling behind her eyes. Sometimes, he can believe it. That she was a troublemaker, up to no good with too much time on her hands, and not this...woman...this decorous facade of pencil skirts, unscuffed heels, and neatly ironed blouses.

He can hear it in the deep, unearthed tone she takes when she lands a passing, unassuming, coquettish comment.

The reason he keeps his answers mono-syllabic.

He watches as she hovers over the snack table, where the food has undoubtedly gone cold, compiling a paper plate of random assortments and grabbing a tin of soda. And when he can no longer see her, he follows the sound of her heels out of the main floor towards the entrance -- barely visible from the wall he’s been hugging all night.

Olivia places the plate on the officer’s desk currently on graveyard duty. He's been longingly listening to and watching the party taking place just a few steps away. But he thanks the detective kindly, playfully clinks tin against mug of wine.

She meets his eye on the way back -- brief, ever so brief -- before turning her gaze downward.

“You should come,” she said, directing her attention to the rest of the group. She avoided his stare, almost always avoiding his stare when it came to matters of bypassing his jurisdiction. But flitted reflexively to him, and then swivelled back to Nate and Felix (briefly over Mason), and she repeated. “All of you. You’re practically honourary members of the division.”

And although she didn’t say it to him, Adam knows (hopes?) she expected him to answer the invitation.

Earlier in the evening (much earlier because how long is this going to go on for?), Nate asks him if he’s enjoying himself and Adam muddles together a gruff answer.

His response, with the words “work commitment” hardly audible, prompts bark-like laughter from the second-in-command and claps him on the shoulder before heading back towards the crowd.

At the end of the night, which finally arrives right when Adam decides he can’t take another rendition of the tracklist that’s been on loop for the past four hours, he stays behind to help the detective clean up.

He sends the rest of the unit home, much to Mason’s relief and much to Felix’s displeasure, and volunteers to make sure the detective catches her cab and gets home safely.

Or, at least, that’s what he tells himself after Felix winks at him, corralled out of the station by Nate.

And then they’re alone... save for the officer who’s gone on his break.

She moves about space, clearing paper cups and forgotten plates of food in a large garbage bag. And she talks, and talks, and talks.

Adam loses track of what exactly, he’s just too busy listening to the quality of her voice. A little hoarse after all the chatting over the music and enthusiastic laughter. It gives it a new edge, one he could grow to like -- the sudden deep, tender quality of it.

Definitely not drunk as she launches into a spiel about something or other Nate taught her last week.

She tends to do this, jabber on about absolutely nothing in particular when it’s just the two of them. And although he prefers silence, he welcomes it. Because sometimes she’s not actually talking to him, instead using the stoic agent’s still presence to bounce ideas off of.

Not like he minds.

He’ll be whatever she needs him to be.

Adam tenses, unaware of where the thought could have surfaced out of so easily. He shocks himself out of his trance, out of following the detective around the room with soft, measured steps. Out of the unconscious non-committal noises he punctuates breaks in her speech with.

He stops just short of the doorway of the kitchenette.

Olivia turns to face him after dumping a number of coffee cups in the sink. She quirks an eyebrow, wiping her hands in a tea towel before casting it aside. Her mouth opens, but whatever witty remark she has ready dies in her throat.

Adam can’t decipher the zoetrope of emotions that flicker then disappear, hiding and lurking behind a wily smile. Her mouth is the colour of wild berries, purples and reds, and the crisp jasmine notes in her perfume remind him of a frosty mid-afternoon -- low winter sun in his eyes as he wades through a forest.

He can’t look right at her.

Gleaming winks of silver, a peek of white teeth, and a twinkle behind a dark curtain of hair.

“What?”

He can scarcely recognise his voice, mostly a husky and unexpected croak.

A full view of pearly teeth and the stretch of Mondeuse Blanche shiraz-coloured lips.

Adam almost misses the throw-away manner she points a finger up in the space in between them. For a fraction of a second, he’s distracted from the sudden kick of her heart and flickers his gaze to where she’s directing him.

Obnoxious oval-shaped gold leaves, thickly crowded plastic branches, and pearly-coloured fake berries hover in the space he’s decidedly placed between them. His stomach lurches in immediate recognition of the artificial plant.

“Mistletoe,” she chuckles an airy sort of sound. Different from all the crass, rough gleeful noises she made all night.

A sound, maybe, she might wield against his sanity?

Adam’s gone rigid, the heat he’s been staving off all night makes a mockery of him, only egged on by the tugging of her lips when he glances back down at her.

She steps closer and he can’t react fast enough, genetic mutations damned under her vexatious gaze. Her heart thumps a little heavier, a chaotically determined sound he can’t fend off.

His own heart starts up that racket he’s grown to call reckless.

“I heard,” she begins, so close now he can see the little scar on her nose from an old piercing. Tannin, oak, and jasmines -- the sparkling and sweet scent of violet from her lipstick, “that it’s bad luck...to refuse a kiss under the mistletoe.”

The click of the ‘k’ and the hiss of the ‘s’ in that word hanging so heavy in the air, the breath of its remnants brush his cheek. Faintly, his mind wanders between two realms. One of old wives tales and superstitions where a kiss is required for every berry in the bunch and, the second, how, if it weren’t for those heels, where would that breath have landed instead?

Her sly grin is tickled by his lack of response, the stiffness creeping into his muscles and his conflicted expression.

“Commanding Agent, do you -- maybe -- want to help me…” she begins, another step closer and this time he doesn't think he wants to move, “fight off any unnecessary misfortunes?”

Adam doesn’t recognise himself. He doesn’t know where it comes from, or how he’s sanctioned the movement of his body. It’s minimal, but to Olivia, who has spent the last year fighting off the hunger from the nearly nonexistent mementoes, it’s colossal.

The smug smile on her face nearly slips.

It’s the tiniest, faintest, barely discernible half-nod as his gaze refuses to leave the curve of her lower lip. Fuller, rounder... he’s thought of the seam of her mouth longer than he’d like to dwell on.

She moves forward and there are no thoughts just the drumming in his chest that pounds a deafening beat. Her hand finds his first, a comfort from the heat roaring inside him, and he responds by tracing the lines of her palms with jittery fingertips.

Olivia shivers and why does that thrill him? He wonders how long until she decides to put him out of his misery.

Please. Please. Please. The thumping against his ribcage wants to meet the erratic pulse of hers.

Roused by his response, her other hand so warm and soft draws a curious path up his arm, over the swell of his bicep and past his shoulder before it hesitates to fully press at the back of his neck where he knows she can feel fevered skin.

It takes her an eternity, staring up at him with hooded eyes, dark fluttering eyelashes almost touching the tops of her cheeks. And he’d wait until whatever comes after that eternity.

This is the closest she’s ever been to him and he can’t help but revere the details he once took for granted.

Olivia rises and the hand behind his neck cautiously coaxes him to meet her.

And then, right as he thinks the world beneath his feet as he knows it will be thrown off its axis, she tilts her head a fraction and the hot press of her mouth meets his blushing cheek instead.

She lingers and everything amplifies.

She is a dizzying bottle of Chianti, left out in the sun too long, and warming him all the way down with each indulgent sip.

A field of blooming shrubs of jasmines.

Warm, brisk, spring morning sun.

He hears her deeply inhale, and does he have the same effect on her like she does on him?

His heightened senses register the moment she parts and moves away, suddenly cold and left with the weight of the cream of her lipstick.

Her touch is deliberate, soaking up the feel of his skin, the fine hairs at his nape, under her gliding palms -- and she settles back on her heels.

The imprint of her lips remains on his cheek, willing it to singe him -- mark him -- so he never has to forget what they feel like. The pressure of her mouth, the moment her breath shuddered.

Olivia makes to touch his cheek, to wipe away all evidence with the sweep of her thumb, but Adam stops her. He catches her wrist with reflexes she’ll never get used to.

He closes his eyes and he tunes in to the demanding call of his heart, thundering, thundering, thundering. And it won’t still.

Just a moment longer.

Is what it would ask.

Just a moment longer, so he can memorise the feel of her mark on his skin -- of the instance she cherished him, made room for him, during a fleeting blip that will be her life.

Olivia moves again, fighting against the gentle strength of his hand, and she rubs the pad of her thumb once, twice, three times. Until the smudge of her affection is reduced to a memory.

She smiles, unlike the smiles she shared earlier. There is no arrogance, no teasing, no playful ridicule.

She smiles -- with those lips that have touched him.

A sharp ringing echoes in the tiny kitchenette and, like he’s waking from a deep sleep, he blinks away the haze of their bewitchment.

As if nothing happened, Olivia digs into her purse, sources her mobile and answers. The conversation is brief, he doesn’t follow any of it, still reeling from her magnetism.

“My cab’s outside,” she says when she hangs up.

Still paralyzed, Olivia meets his eye and grins, before she drops her gaze to the floor.

She shakes her head and releases a small, anxious laugh. She touches his arm when she moves past him, out of the kitchenette, and heads for the exit.

He watches her leave, listening to the light click-clack of heels, still shaking her head and-- he practically hears the smile in her voice when she calls out behind her.

“Happy holidays, Commanding Agent du Mortain.”

Note II: Yeah, it’s The Twist. Nate was teaching Felix and Olivia the twist....because I said so and because i hc N being really into the 60s/70s music scene....long legs.....in....flared....jeans. So many typos. But if I didn’t post it when I did I was never going to post it.

#the wayhaven chronicles #a du mortain #adam du mortain #adam du mortain x detective #i wrote this in a haze of sleep deprivation ...bone smack the teeth #writing #y’all see typos you look away I’m too fra jeel e.#the amount of #repetition is astounding lol okay I’m done rereading before I go 🍌#I really loved an italicized word huh #tuagonia writes twc

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things-we-used-tc-share · 3 years

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The Town That Never Was

[Image Description: a long road with decaying plants on either side, with text overlayed that reads ‘the town that never was’ in white. A white icon of a clock is placed underneath the text /end ID]

I’m re-releasing the first four chapters as I’ve edited them!

Ships: DLAMP/CALMD, Remile.

Warnings: Cheating is mentioned at some point during this fic in the past, some slight horror themes but in a comedic sort of way, kidnapping is mentioned but again this is like a comedy-horror so there’s not a lot of suspense.

Plot: In Hell, a town of roughly 1,000 people, nothing that is supposed to happen ever happens and everything that physically should happen, does. Logan, a scientist, goes there in hopes of studying the world’s most unfortunate, and miraculous, town. But no one who ever enters ever finds the will to leave again.

Chapter One

Chapter Two: Hooded Figures and Kidnapping

“Good evening listeners,” Logan listens to Deceit talk over the radio as he taps away at his laptop, enjoying the filled silence of the smooth baritone voice as he works. “As you may or may not have heard, the hooded, cult-like figures have finally left the outskirts of the town, now before you let out a relieved sigh I have to warn that they are now roaming the streets,”

The scientist looks up at the crackling radio as he takes his laptop off of his lap, instead wandering over to the window to pull the heavy curtains to the side just a crack. His cobalt eyes scan the dark streets and true to Deceit’s word, there are hooded figures roaming the streets. “I understand this may be unnerving so please remember the protocol for mysterious cult-like figures roaming the streets, lock your door and windows, stay away from their line of sight, and Patton? Try not to get kidnapped again, if anyone sees Patton trying to offer the mysterious hooded figures cake, please stop him.”

Logan snorts to himself, before locking the door to his room. He resumes his work, sitting back down on the bed so that only the creak of bedsprings, the sound of the radio, and the tapping of keys fill the quiet air.

The scientist wakes up the next morning with his laptop on standby, half-tucked up against his arm, and his glasses pressed against his face. He sighs and straightens himself up with a crack of his back, wincing once he realises the awkward position he’d slept in had left much of his body in stiff pain. Logan’s feet hit the carpeted floor and a yawn ghosts his lips as he rummages through his wardrobe for some clothes.

The usual morning routine ensues and is far too boring to record but you understand; shower, brushing teeth, getting clothes on, leaving. The normal human and humanoid things.

Logan is holding a device in one hand that whirs ever so slightly as two discs spin on its surface. Nobody gives him a weird look for this device and for the most part people don’t really notice. There are simply much weirder things currently happening, or previously had happened, than a man in his late twenties wearing a casual lab coat whilst wandering the streets with a device that makes strange noises.

It pings loudly, causing him to fiddle with the device and then stare up at a large building beside him that looks ever so slightly ominous; the windows aren't there, for starters, there are lines where windows should have been and the brickwork looks like it’s rotting...if brick could rot in the same fashion that food does. The scientist pauses to grab his notebook and scribbles something down. “What are you doing?” He hears a slight hiss behind him.

Whirling around he sees Deceit, whose eyes are wide in shock as he grabs the notebook and pushes it back into Logan’s pocket “Are you trying to get arrested on your second day?”

“Arrested?”

“Writing,” Deceit continues “Is writing not illegal on the outside?” Logan stares at him as though he’d grown an extra head to accommodate the hypnotic eyes. Deceit sighs “Look, for the most part, you can get away with it in your home, just checked it isn’t bugged, you never know when you’re being watched here.” He glances around but there are no eyes on them. “Come and grab a coffee with me, and I’ll tell you more.”

“Okay,” Logan’s expression is an amusing mix of blank and on the brink of a mental breakdown as he digests the fact you can’t write here. “Wait, so hooded cult-like figures are normal and writing is...illegal?” He hurries to keep up with the tall man as he walks in long strides, his baggy mustard-coloured silk shirt blowing in the breeze as he does so. Mentally, Logan thinks that Deceit may be the only person who can wear mustard anything and still look ridiculously attractive.

“Yes,” Deceit replies plainly as if stating that water is wet.

“Right.’ It isn’t the first time he’s sighed in disbelief since he’s gotten here, but Logan gets the feeling it won’t be the last either. The two walk in silence beside each other, or rather Logan speed walks to keep up with the other man, whose legs alone should be illegal (and not because they look amazing in the leather pants he’s currently wearing, more because they’re so long and he walks so fast).

When they get to the cafe, however, there is an astounding lack of Patton there and by the way Virgil and Roman are arguing, one can assume something had gone horribly wrong. Deceit’s presence definitely seemed to make things worse, as Roman’s eyes flash with fury the moment the two walk through the door. “You.” He points with a voice that sounds like thunder.

“Me?” Is the snake-like man’s reply, holding a hand up to his chest in mock surprise “What could I have possibly done now?” Roman’s mouth opens and closes in response, as if too furious to articulate how he’s feeling at all. Virgil rolls his eyes.

“Can you do that thing you do?” The demon cuts in, being remarkably calm considering his species are quite literally infamous for being the definition of ‘fury’. Like you’d open a dictionary and instead of a definition of fury, it’ll be a badly drawn demon. “Patton’s gone missing again.” Yes, evidently. Patton certainly seems naive enough to land himself in an egregious amount of trouble on any given occasion. Or perhaps he is simply willing enough to get into trouble. “Can you see him?”

Logan looks up at Deceit, who sighs heavily and closes his eyes; there's a long moment before he opens them again, the gradient of golds glowing as the snake-slits seem to stare but in a way that is utterly unseeing. The man's eyebrows furrow, a slight frown on his lips. Whatever it is that he is seeing, Logan doesn't think it's the world currently around them at all. More like something beyond sight of the present and here.

“He’s been kidnapped...” Deceit mutters “...by the hooded figures.” He blinks and the golden glow sinks back, receding and evaporating. “I can’t see where they’ve taken him, they must be using some form of mental block, if I were you I’d work on seeing what these people are.” The tallest runs a hand through his hair; which seems to have changed colour from golden to a more caramel-ish colour, Logan is somehow only just noticing now. “Anything else you need me to do or can I have a coffee now?” Roman makes a noise at the back of his throat that could be anger or it could be fear, either way, he moves away from the three so Virgil can take their order.

“You’re a science person right?” Virgil leans against the counter, purple eyes blinking absently as he directs his words to Logan, who really doesn’t know how to react when talking to a demon. “Have you found out why this place is the way it is?”

“No...” Logan mutters “...have you?”

“Of course,” Virgil snorts “...now what can I get you?”

“Just a latte please.” Logan watches the man, or whatever the correct term is for a demon (do demons have genders? That might be a question for another day), as he makes the drink, mulling over his words in his head. “Would you tell me if I asked?” The purple eyes look up and squint before a deep laugh rumbles through the shop.

“No, it’s much more fun to watch your little Human brain wrap around it,” Virgil hums “...and I do mean that in the politest way possible, however, if you’re not busy today I do believe Roman will need some assistance if you wouldn’t mind?”

“Oh, of course, I’d love to help,” Logan smiles, but once again it’s a nervous one because, well, he is talking to a demon. Deceit sighs.

“You’re going to get yourself killed,” The DJ warns, accepting his usual off of Virgil and handing over some money. “I don’t even know how bird-shit-for-brains is still alive,”

“Dee, play nice, he’s already in a bad mood,” Virgil interjects, handing Logan his coffee “...he’s still alive because I keep dragging his ass out of unfortunate situations and not even demons want to upset Patton.”

“Yet he keeps getting kidnapped?” Logan presses, a curious look in his eyes. Virgil gives a fond smile, like one would at their partner consistently getting cake mixture on their clothes (Possibly and definitely something that Patton also does). “How come always him?”

“Patton is…kind, stupidly so.” Virgil leans against the counter, black nails tapping against the glazed marble top as he does so. “He can’t stand the idea of people being misjudged and keeps getting himself into a lot of danger because of it, literally never learns, if I weren’t so worried about him I’d almost be endeared, Satan knows how he managed to fall in love with us.” He gestures to himself and Roman. “Well, I suppose that is the reason alone,” the demon leans back up “...Roman, are you leaving now? Logan’s going with you,” He calls through a door that disappears to what Logan assumes is the stock cupboard but could probably be an entrance to another dimension.

Roman walks back out, his satchel over his shoulder as he wanders over to the three of them. “Is he joining us?” He glares pointedly at Deceit, who shakes his head and walks away with the sort of huff that a teenage boy gives when being told to clean his room. Logan would find it cute if their feud wasn’t already doing his head in.

“Apparently not,” Virgil fills the silence “...have fun boys, don’t get possessed, or die, especially you Roman I’m going to need you after this extremely long day finishes.” Roman’s dark cheeks flush slightly as he nods, leaning over the counter to exchange a quick kiss with the demon. Then, he gestures to Logan to follow him and wordlessly the scientist obeys, sipping his perfectly warm cup of coffee as he does so.

“So, what is the issue with you and Deceit?” The outside street seems quiet, the sort of quiet that it shouldn’t be at nearly eleven in the morning, most towns are quite busy at this time in fact. But Hell also isn’t ‘most towns’.

“He’s a snake-faced liar,” Roman muttered “...a danger to everyone he meets,” he taps away at his phone “...and an all-around asshole.”

“Usually when people talk about someone like that they’re very rarely those things, not as a person anyway...” Logan gestures to the house with no windows as they approach it “...also what is this place, it has a lot of energy for somewhere so run down.” Roman looks down at the scientist, before turning to face the house, he blinks a few times before shaking his head.

“I don’t know, it gives me a headache if I stare too long.” Logan stares at it to see if Roman is right, but his head doesn’t feel like he has a headache. “It’s not run-down, it’s just empty, well empty of Humans anyway,” Roman continues, as Logan pulls out his device from earlier; the same as previously, it pings.

“Do you know if it usually has such high energy signals?”

“Not usually no.” Logan isn’t sure if this response means it doesn’t usually have high-energy signals, or if Roman doesn’t usually know. He decides to assume both as he approaches the building and studies the mould. “Sometimes when I look at it, it feels like I shouldn’t be looking at it,” he pauses “...like accidentally seeing someone naked because they haven’t closed the curtains whilst getting changed.” Oddly specific, but Logan makes a mental note to close his curtains before he gets changed.

“Usually things like that make me want to look more,” Logan uttered “...not the naked part,” He adds quickly, cheeks flushing “...but…in general when you’re not supposed to do something I almost certainly always want to do it, especially when knowledge is at stake.” His fingers reach out to brush against the black and crumbling stone “No visible entrance or exit, it’s like a dolls house, just…lines marking where windows should be, it’d be a good place to hide someone if you were going to kidnap a person.”

Roman gives him a look that Logan can’t decipher, but it’s a fairly intense look that makes Logan’s heart skip a beat. “So I suppose we should find an entrance?”

“Most certainly,” Logan grins, pocketing the device “...I should add I have zero combat skills so if something goes wrong we’re both most certainly going to be in danger,”

“It’s fine I have a sword.” Roman pats his satchel, Logan blinks. “Dimensionally transcendental,”

“It’s bigger on the inside?” The shorter man asks in a hushed, excitable voice, eyes widening in a way Roman internally described as ‘adorable’.

“It’s bigger on the inside,” Roman confirms. Logan’s brain squeals and internally he is melting at such scientifically advanced technology “I found it by accident but it’s super helpful most days,” Outwardly, however, Logan just clears his throat, nods and says:

“Interesting.” He’s going to have a lot of notes to write down later, that’s for sure. His phone buzzes in his pocket and he finds it is notifying him that the radio is active again, he ignores the notification and starts to walk around the outside of the building, looking for any sort of door. “I get a distinct feeling,” Logan starts as he finds no visible entrance “...that someone doesn’t want us in here.”

“Me too,” Roman hums, bending over to pull at a large rope. A door opens up into what looks like an underground tunnel, or sewage system. “I also get the feeling I should not have done my nails today,” He sighs, staring down into the darkness and then to his finely painted blood-red nails, they’re too long to be natural, and just looking at them make Logan wince.

“Certainly,” Logan finally says, peering down the ladders that lead into darkness, he can’t tell how far down they go. “If I had to hazard a guess...I’d guess this is our entrance,” He looks up at Roman, who chews the inside of his cheek hesitantly. “Of all the strange things that have happened here, this is the one that scares you?” Logan teases lightly.

“Not exactly,” Roman sighs “...less a fear of the dark and more of a fear, the same fear every time, every time he goes missing I’m always worried, terrified of how I’ll find him.” the exorcist mutters softly. “He’s usually fine, once his kidnapper practically shoved him into my arms and told me to take him, Patton has that effect on evil.”

“Explains Virgil,” Logan mutters, sitting down at the edge and clasping hold of the metal, before swinging his legs down to start his descent. Roman snorts a little and follows after him as they clamber down. It’s actually not that deep, or dark. “Speaking of Virgil...” Logan adds as his feet hit damp concrete, causing a small splash as he does, like when it’s rained and there’s a thin layer of wetness on the ground “...do you know why this town is the way it is?”

Roman lands next to him with an amount of gracefulness that shouldn’t be given to someone who had just leapt from a metal ladder. “Sort of,” He hums “I know why but I don’t understand it, like how I know what nuclear fission is but I have no idea how it works,”

“I see, and why?”

“Well, look at the clocks,” Roman answers cryptically “Put the pieces together, none of the clocks work in Hell, not a watch, not a phone, not a network, and analogue clocks aren’t even real here all of them are fake,” Logan pauses from their walk, eyes blinking. “Time isn’t real, here it just…doesn’t exist, we’re a scientific fluke.” Logan’s lips part in surprise and he hopes he survives their adventure so he can investigate this further. “The sun doesn’t even set normally, it’s almost as if the moment you enter you leave reality.”

“I see,” Logan whispers, staring ahead into the darkness, a darkness that is dark enough to obscure the distance, but light enough to see. “Nothing makes sense here...” he mutters “...it’s wonderful,” Roman laughs beside him and nods in agreement. “So, what is it with you and Deceit?” The laughter dies.

“I told you.”

“No you didn’t, you just insulted him and called it an explanation.”

Roman splutters a little before sighing heavily. “Okay fine, considering the fact we have no idea how long we’ll be walking for or if we’ll die...” the tunnel bends a little “...I was an intern at his radio station for a few months...” Roman’s voice seems softer now, nostalgic “...what can I say? It was love at first sight, and at first, it was amazing.” The man scratches the back of his head, and the tunnel bends again, he takes a deep breath in before he begins to speak again. “We went on a few dates and it was nice, he was so sweet, until…” he trails off, his gaze going though the darkness absently “...if he’d just told me he wanted to be in an open or poly relationship I wouldn’t have been upset, of course, I wouldn’t have been upset, I’m polyamorous myself as you’ve probably realized,” Logan nods, signifying he understands. “But instead he cheated on me.”

“I see,” Logan mutters “That does seem uncomfortable.”

Roman nods in response. “And now he won’t stop insulting me all the time, and I guess I’m sort of guilty of that too...” He gives a sheepish smile “...And maybe the insulting was in retaliation to me insulting him all the time and maybe I am being over-reactive but he hurt me and that’s more important to me than playing nicely for everyone else’s sake.”

“Good,” Logan says firmly, pausing as another ladder comes into view. They stand at the base of it before Logan looks over at Roman with a look on his face that the taller man can only describe as tender. “That’s the way it should be, forgive him at your own pace, if ever, but never for someone else.” Then his gaze goes upward to where the ladder leads, placing a hand and foot on the metal with a sigh “Well if we survive that is.”

Roman laughs in response, but the darkness hides the flustered nature of his expression as they both start their ascent.

They stand in what appears to be a living room. A single light hangs from the ceiling and the carpet is black, the walls are also carpet and black, absorbing light like a black hole. Logan hates it, who carpets a wall? Out of everything he’s seen in this town this may be the worst, simply a result of disgusting interior decorating but someone purposefully carpeted a wall!

Abysmal.

They begin to explore the house, finding a wall that has grass growing out of it, another with moss, and most of them carpeted in the same disgusting fashion. Logan swears he can feel the carpet against his feet despite wearing his shoes, and he has decided he does not enjoy this at all. The entire house seems to feel like that feeling you get when you trip and you have a split second where your heart jumps and your eyes widen as you fear hitting the ground...but on repeat.

They search the house until there is only one room left, the door is shut and there doesn’t appear to be any light coming from it but they know well enough that this doesn’t mean there isn’t light. The two men exchange a look, take a deep breath and push the door open to reveal…a room.

Quite what you’d expect to be on the other side of a door, to be honest, a room. Oh, but that isn’t the interesting part. No the interesting part and probably the part that should’ve been led with is Patton. He smiles and gives a small wave as he’s apparently not restrained in any way and is in general being very bad at being kidnapped. He’s simply sat there with a flask of tea as the three hooded figures stand around him.

“Hey, guys!” The baker says brightly “I got kidnapped again.”

“So we can see,” Logan chuckles, mostly out of disbelief and the rest out of ‘of course he’s okay.’ He is unsure why his heart unclenches at the sight of the bright and very pretty baker unharmed, but he does know that he’s happy to see him happy.

“They were telling me about their plans for world domination, so I asked them if they were hungry and needed a snickers bar...” Patton sips his tea as he stands up “...they seemed to relax after the chocolate, and now they’re mostly figuring out how to get back to their dimension.”

“How’s that going?” Roman enquires curiously, forever astounded by Patton’s ability to talk bad guys out of world domination with kindness and chocolate, this is not the first time this had happened; he’s fairly certain it will also not be the last. The baker shakes his head in response and points over his shoulder at the mysterious figures with his thumb.

“Awfully, otherwise they wouldn’t still be here, they’re also not really sure how they got here or where here is, I explained America but they asked which dimension and I replied with ‘I’m not sure,’ I figured Virgil might know but I really like the tea here.” The more Patton talks the more Logan’s heart seems to soften, the freckled cheeks and joyful smile making his heart thud in his chest at a pleasant rhythm. Also, the tea Patton is holding is very green, like moss green, and also lumpy.

“Well, let’s get you back to Virgil then,” Roman laughs shortly. “Is there a way out that isn’t through a sewer?”

“So, as it turns out the hooded figures are actually of another dimension,” Deceit purrs through the microphone, an hour later “...and if not for the bravery of the absolutely stunningly handsome Logan, and Roman, you know, the town’s exorcist, then perhaps sweet Patton would never have been returned to us...” there’s a beat “...and probably of his own free will for that matter.”

Halfway across town, Patton, Logan, Roman and Virgil sat listening to the radio as the café closed for the day. Roman snorts at Deceit’s commentary, a fond smile on his lips just for a moment before he remembers to wipe it off. “It’ll never settle with me that he can just see things,” Patton sighs as the voice continues to talk through the speaker.

“So he can see everything that is happening?” Logan asks tentatively, the way someone asks a question that they really don’t want the truthful answer too.

“He can see everything that has happened, that will happen and is happening,” Virgil sits down next to Logan and sips on his coffee as he speaks. “It was a gift of sorts, from birth, he was a wishing child,”

“A what?” The scientist looks dumbfounded and most people who aren’t from Hell, or Ireland, would be. After all fairy godmothers are a thing of stories in most places in the world.

“A wishing child...” the demon continues “...when two people cannot conceive a child here they ask or…pray for one, they leave an offering in the woods about seven miles south of here, and if their wish is granted they’re given a child.” Logan looks ready to tear his hair out at the absurdity of that, but patiently, he listens. “But often wishing children come out…wrong, cursed or gifted in some way, like Remy, he turns into a cat, imagine being his mother she must’ve had a field day when her baby turned into a kitten,”

“That is deeply disturbing, also do you not have surrogacy here?” The stranger to these stories asks in disbelief because honestly some of the problems these people make for themselves would be so easy to fix.

“It’s illegal, mostly because the police think wishing children are funnier to have around.” Jesus Christ. “Anyway, that’s what Deceit is, snakeskin and the ability to see all of time at once, it must be so busy inside his head.”

“Also he has six arms,” Roman adds “but they only come out when needed.” By the wicked grin on his face, Logan reminds himself to never ask what he means by that.

“I wonder why he was keeping tabs on you in the first place,” Patton interjects. He is, of course, referring to the fact that Deceit had reported the story the moment they were all safely back inside the café, and Virgil and Roman had returned the cloaked figures to their own dimension.

“He probably just wanted an inside scoop,” Roman shrugs.

Deceit, on the other side of the town in his radio station, watching the conversation through clouded eyes, feels his heart twinge a little. No, he thinks to himself, I just wanted to know you were all okay.

#ts sides #ts sides fic

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grassroutes · 4 years

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Roborock S6 MaxV: Now with Built-In Poop Avoidance

Our verdict of the Roborock S6 MaxV: While smart speaker integration needs a little work for more functionality, overall the Roborock S6 MaxV is great. As the first robot vacuum I've seen in action, it has certainly impressed.910

It’s 2020. You should have a robot butler, a flying car, and a holiday home on the moon. Unless you escaped from an Isaac Asimov novel, you have none of these things.

But the prospects of a butler are looking promising.

The Roborock S6 MaxV might not serve drinks, but it has the tools to help you keep your home clean. It’s a robot vacuum cleaner with mop functionality, Alexa and Google Home integration, and zoning features.

But is it worth the $750 price tag? Read on to find out, and at the end of this review you can enter to win your own.

Unboxing the Roborock S6 MaxV

You’ll find a hefty box housing the Roborock S6 MaxV. Alongside the robot cleaner you’ll find a charging dock and its counterpart, a moisture-proof mat. These are each equipped with adhesive strips for attaching to a hard floor (lino, laminate, or hardwood).

A 1-meter power cable is included, which limits positioning options. However, this is also a safety feature as it discourages trailing the cable across the floor. Not only will this make your home safer, it will stop the Roborock S6 MaxV getting tangled on the lead.

Also in the box is a mop cloth bracket and cloth, a spare filter, plus manuals for the Roborock S6 MaxV and its accompanying app. You’ll also find a 180ml capacity water tank for mopping.

As a review device, we received a special bonus—a packet of fake dog poo. The purpose of this will become apparent.

What Can the Roborock S6 MaxV Do?

If you’ve been holding onto your multi-vortex upright vacuum cleaner, what follows will shock you. But if you’re planning on upgrading your existing robot vac, you’ll still be pleasantly surprised.

The Roborock S6 MaxV navigates using LiDAR (Laser Distancing and Ranging), and uses dual front cameras for AI object detection. It literally maps your home as it cleans and can retain multiple maps, as well as avoid user-defined no-go zones. You can select rooms to be cleaned and even set a room-by-room cleaning schedule.

It features 2000Pa suction, with automatic boost mode for carpets, ensuring a deeper clean. A 180ml water tank enables you to mop floors up to 1610 square feet, and if it’s tiring, the Roborock S6 MaxV will return to base to recharge. When it’s ready to go again, the robot cleaner will finish the job. This shouldn’t happen often, however. The 5200mAH battery powers it for two and a half hours on one charge, an area of up to 2152ft.

Everything about this black cleaning disc is impressive, from the array of sensors designed to avoid objects, pets, falling downstairs, and poo. It’s designed to be easily cleaned, and comes with a removable brush, dirt chamber, and mop module.

All of that is impressive enough; however, this app-controlled robot vac can also be controlled using Alexa or Google Home.

One thing it can’t do, however, is clean your curtains and distant corners of your ceiling (no, really?). Keep a handheld vacuum unit in your home for these hard-to-reach areas.

Setting Up the Roborock Dock

Getting ready for your first clean is straightforward. Start by finding a mains electricity wall socket that you can dedicate to the Robovac. On the floor beside this (not too far as the cable is only a meter long) place the docking station. It has an adhesive strip on the bottom to secure it in place.

Next, add the moisture protector, a plastic disk that protects your floor.

Finally, switch the dock on at the wall and place the Roborock S6 MaxV upon it. The buttons on the chassis should be closest to the dock. Once correctly placed, the robot announces that it is charging.

You’ll notice that the onboard controls are limited. There’s a Home button, power button, and spot cleaning option. That’s it. For complete control of the Roborock S6 MaxV, use the mobile app.

Syncing the Roborock S6 MaxV With the App

Controlling the Roborock effectively requires the app. This is easily accessed via the QR code which comes attached to the vacuum and should be removed before docking.

The app (available for iOS and Android) guides you through creating an account and getting the Roborock S6 MaxV connected to your network. It’s one of the most painless connection experiences I’ve come across, with the robot vacuum cleaner compatible with 2.4Ghz and 5Ghz wireless networks.

Once configured, the app is used to initiate cleaning, specify zones, and manage other settings for the Roborock S6 MaxV. While smart home speakers can be used, and the cleaner has buttons, the best control is via the app.

The app can be used from anywhere. Got friends coming for dinner? Remotely activate the Roborock S6 MaxV so it cleans while you’re at work!

Initial Cleaning and Mapping

To gain familiarity with your home, the robot vacuum cleaner will take its time on the first run, carefully mapping out your floor area. You’ll be able to see the results of this in the mobile app, with rooms helpfully demarcated with different colors.

Mapping can be tricky, however. Areas you want to keep the Roborock S6 MaxV away from, such as the top of your stairs, should be blocked off with a wooden board. This way, the bot recognizes this as a no-go area.

After the initial clean you can use the app to specify cleaning zones. Perhaps you want the area under and around your table cleaning up; maybe send the cleaner into the kitchen while you watch TV.

The Roborock S6 MaxV also features a zoning tool to mark areas as off-limits. Perhaps there is a room unsuitable for cleaning; maybe a door is always open onto your garden or balcony. These areas, like the cleaning zones, can be highlighted in the app. The Roborock S6 MaxV will no longer clean here, although the app does highlight that this setting isn’t foolproof.

Roborock S6 MaxV uses an AI-powered object recognition system to assist with mapping and avoiding obstacles. ReactiveAI Object Recognition reduces the need to declutter your vacuum zones before cleaning and identifies problem items on the map.

For privacy purposes, images collected by the device camera are processed by the onboard computer and not uploaded. Settings managing the camera can be found in the app, although there is sadly no way to view footage direct from the device.

Vacuuming With the Roborock S6 MaxV

Sending the Roborock S6 MaxV off on its first mission around the house is an exciting prospect, one that tends to attract the attention of all present. Children are transfixed, pets confused, and the person who activates it is convinced it’s never going to measure up to expectations.

Cleaning takes place using a standard rotating brush, like the type you’ll find under a standard upright. There’s also a spinning brush on the side, spinning loose debris much like the gully brush on a street cleaner.

In terms of capacity, the Roborock S6 MaxV squeezes what it collects into an ingot-like space inside. This is about enough for a single clean, and the bot should be emptied between cleans for the best results. You’ll find the chamber under the top flap of the cleaner—this can be easily unclipped and removed for emptying.

As noted, it ships with a spare filter. You can keep an eye on how the existing filter is doing by manually inspecting it or checking the app. Here you’ll find details for the filter, side brush, main brush, and sensors, and how long they should last.

Smart Home Integration

Roborock S6 MaxV cleaners integrate with popular smart home systems, including devices running Alexa or Google Home. This enables further control options, although the support commands are rather generic.

Unlike earlier Roborock vacs, the Roborock S6 MaxV requires the Roborock Plus Alexa skill, rather than Roborock Home. Setting up the correct skill means you can control the cleaner using voice commands, so this is significant.

Even so, my Echo Dot was often unable to discern “Alexa, ask robo rock to start cleaning,” instead hearing “robo vac” and insisting I activate a different skill. Not ideal, it required over-emphasis of the word “rock.” My North of England accent certainly isn’t one that produces similar sounds for “vac” and “rock”, so it’s not clear what is happening here.

Sadly, voice controls are limited to start, stop, and recharge. More specific controls (such as “clean kitchen”) would be desirable, but not possible. Still, it’s a voice-controlled robot cleaner, so that’s pretty exciting.

Vacuuming Laminate and Carpets

So, how does this robot vacuum cleaner actually perform?

We tested the Roborock S6 MaxV in a home comprising good quality laminate and carpets.

Comparing the results, it seems to perform somewhat better on hard floors. With dust and detritus unable to hide within the loops and get trodden in, this is hardly a surprise.

Carpets differ in pile and this robot vacuum cleaner isn’t quite up to cleaning some woollier types. The spinning brush on the side tends to get tangled in the loops, which makes it slightly useless. While the cleaner can cope with the height of deep pile carpets and rugs, this is a shortcoming that can prove frustrating. You might just opt to clean such carpets with an upright.

However, shorter carpets are more easily managed. Settings in the app determine the power of the clean. So you can switch between a Gentle, Silent, Balanced, Turbo, and Max clean. Each of these settings can be applied to a specific room in the app. So a wooden floor in the entrance area might get a Max clean with the mop attached to keep things clean. Conversely, a guest bedroom might receive a Balanced clean.

Planning to run the Roborock S6 MaxV while you sleep? You can specify a time for it to activate–if it’s while you sleep, use the Silent running option.

In short, there is an option for almost every household scenario. Have a four-legged family member pet who isn’t quite toilet trained? The Roborock S6 MaxV features a pet mode, enabling it to spot and avoid sudden incursions into its sphere of activity. It can also recognise poo (fake and real) and avoid cleaning it up, thereby spreading the mess.

You’ll have to scoop that up yourself, however.

Expecting a Mop? It’s More of a Buffer

The promise of a mop function was enough to pique my wife’s interest in the Roborock S6 MaxV. After all, those laminate floors don’t clean themselves.

Using the mop is straightforward. The water tank is removed and filled to 180ml, while the mop attachment is fitted. The mop must be dampened first—it uses a hook-and-loop fastening system—then reattached to the mop cloth bracket which slides in under the tank.

There is no different function in the app to engage mop cleaning. The presence of water and the mop attachment activates this, meaning that the Roborock S6 MaxV automatically vacuums and mops at the same time.

Or does it?

Well, it certainly does something. However, the lack of support for detergent means that mopping is sadly closer to buffing. Our floor looked great after, but quick use of an antibacterial floor wipe in the same area revealed that more could have been picked up. The Roborock S6 had been running on maximum settings, so it should have made the best possible clean.

A Robot Vacuum You Can Trust

A robot vacuum cleaner is one of the greatest developments of the smart home era. No one likes spending time driving an upright back and forth. In many cases, we just vacuum around things, rather than under them as well—after all, it’s quicker!

With a smart robot vacuum cleaner, this isn’t necessary. You’re not wasting any time, as the device is working for you. And the Roborock S6 MaxV certainly works, with powerful vacuuming, good mopping/buffing, and app integration. The zoning feature makes keeping the device away from animal baskets or sleeping babies simple, and overall, it is a great labor-saving device. Waking up to a clean room is a pleasure you’ll only enjoy with a robot vacuum cleaner.

Enter the Competition!

Roborock S6 MaxV Giveaway

Read the full article: Roborock S6 MaxV: Now with Built-In Poop Avoidance

Roborock S6 MaxV: Now with Built-In Poop Avoidance posted first on grassroutespage.blogspot.com

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droneseco · 4 years

Text

Roborock S6 MaxV: Now with Built-In Poop Avoidance

It’s 2020. You should have a robot butler, a flying car, and a holiday home on the moon. Unless you escaped from an Isaac Asimov novel, you have none of these things.

But the prospects of a butler are looking promising.

But is it worth the $750 price tag? Read on to find out, and at the end of this review you can enter to win your own.

Unboxing the Roborock S6 MaxV

Also in the box is a mop cloth bracket and cloth, a spare filter, plus manuals for the Roborock S6 MaxV and its accompanying app. You’ll also find a 180ml capacity water tank for mopping.

As a review device, we received a special bonus—a packet of fake dog poo. The purpose of this will become apparent.

What Can the Roborock S6 MaxV Do?

All of that is impressive enough; however, this app-controlled robot vac can also be controlled using Alexa or Google Home.

One thing it can’t do, however, is clean your curtains and distant corners of your ceiling (no, really?). Keep a handheld vacuum unit in your home for these hard-to-reach areas.

Setting Up the Roborock Dock

Next, add the moisture protector, a plastic disk that protects your floor.

You’ll notice that the onboard controls are limited. There’s a Home button, power button, and spot cleaning option. That’s it. For complete control of the Roborock S6 MaxV, use the mobile app.

Syncing the Roborock S6 MaxV With the App

Controlling the Roborock effectively requires the app. This is easily accessed via the QR code which comes attached to the vacuum and should be removed before docking.

The app can be used from anywhere. Got friends coming for dinner? Remotely activate the Roborock S6 MaxV so it cleans while you’re at work!

Initial Cleaning and Mapping

After the initial clean you can use the app to specify cleaning zones. Perhaps you want the area under and around your table cleaning up; maybe send the cleaner into the kitchen while you watch TV.

Vacuuming With the Roborock S6 MaxV

Smart Home Integration

Vacuuming Laminate and Carpets

So, how does this robot vacuum cleaner actually perform?

We tested the Roborock S6 MaxV in a home comprising good quality laminate and carpets.

Comparing the results, it seems to perform somewhat better on hard floors. With dust and detritus unable to hide within the loops and get trodden in, this is hardly a surprise.

Planning to run the Roborock S6 MaxV while you sleep? You can specify a time for it to activate–if it’s while you sleep, use the Silent running option.

You’ll have to scoop that up yourself, however.

Expecting a Mop? It’s More of a Buffer

The promise of a mop function was enough to pique my wife’s interest in the Roborock S6 MaxV. After all, those laminate floors don’t clean themselves.

Or does it?

A Robot Vacuum You Can Trust

Enter the Competition!

Roborock S6 MaxV Giveaway

Read the full article: Roborock S6 MaxV: Now with Built-In Poop Avoidance

Roborock S6 MaxV: Now with Built-In Poop Avoidance published first on http://droneseco.tumblr.com/

0 notes