#He attracts fish

[frodo-a-gogo]

Let us be brutally honest with ourselves and with eachother for a moment. If he weren't obese you motherfuckers would be capable of percieving evrart claires sexy sexy moral ambiguity and complex charms

#i am (lesbian) sipping him like a fine DESSERT WINE #my evidence by the way is very simple and very damning. joyce messier. there i said it. #if you guys can appreciate the fact that Joyce is a complex figure worthy of disgust yes but also worthy of empathy #despite being a venal coward facilitating acts of violence and slaughter of the organized working poor of martinaise in the name of capital #if you can understand that she is a dimensional figure while also being an embodiment of the moral apathy and cruelty if capital owners #but you cant look at evrart and see that he is (while deeply flawed and morally suspect) also a dimensional figure #on top of the fact that his motivations are eminently relatable and dare i say it baser #and his greatest failing imho is in failing to advocate for the interests of *all* the poor of martinaise #opting instead to marginalize the inhabitants of the fishing village in favor of a power grab in the interests of himself and his union #though this is imo a bit of a grey area morally. undeniably a wrong and bad thing to do but done in service of clairs political goals #to gather power to advocate for the working class against ultraliberal monoliths like wild pines and fascistic orgs like krenel #still super wrong but i can follow the moral arithmetic there tho i don't like it #but like my point is if u can see that joyce is evil and pathetic but still cool and sexy but you consider clair flatly distasteful #thats cus hes not conventionally attractive #cus he is *every bit* as dimensional and interesting as joyce and he is not nearly as politically shite even if hes interpersonally a jerk

[bluehairperson]

Sometimes I see posts about how "I, Strahd" Tatyana has the personality of a cardboard but I don't think I agree honestly.

We only see her in very few scenes (all from Strahd's POV) and she's always very gentle and soft spoken.

Which makes completely sense since she was a lowborn orphan trying to make a good impression on her future brother in law, who is not only the ruler of the valley but also a feared war criminal. Of course she would try to be as nice as possible in front of him.

I also think that Strahd was extremely genuine in thinking he was in love with Tatyana, it's just that he never really knew her the way Sergei did. He only knew a facet.

#she went customer service mode #Strahd mentions that in the months she stays at Ravenloft he finds new reasons to fall in love with her day after day #so even if his attraction to her was absolutely superficial at first I do think he really liked her going on #he's so difficult to please I think he would have just tried to fish for other reasons to dislike her if his attraction wasn't genuine #especially because he really wanted to hate her before meeting her #also being just kind and gentle is a completely valid personality honestly #I don't think she's any less interesting or well rounded just because we're mainly shown that side of her #plus I say she's soft spoken but she also curses the gods when Sergei dies and immediately thinks of looking for Lady Ilona to bring himbac #so we could say she's also resolute and very quick thinking #also I was thinking of Tatyana as a general concept at first but then I remembered they completely changed her in 5e #so her dyamic with Strahd is obviously different cause they also knew eachother before Sergei arrived #because god fucking forbid 5e Strahd to fall in love with a peasant I guess #in the beautiful world in my mind I often forget I Strahd isn't the 5e canon oof #this post was brought to you by the Taty Appreciators Gang #not art #curse of strahd #strahd von zarovich #ravenloft

[itsinkwell]

OUGHHH i hate when people misinterpret my favorite characters LIKE!! Junkrat is so. Punk. He is so. Grunge. He’s dirty and grimy and paints his fingernails and toenails black and he made his own prosthetics and he wears eyeliner that probably isnt even actually eyeliner!! He kills millionaires and wears spikes and actively hates authority!! He is soooo like. Ancom!! He steals and kills and fights dirty and makes his own bombs!! Im not saying that people write/draw him too goody or whatever, but i am saying that he isnt being drawn/written/made like this enough!! Embrace his filth!! Give into the demons!! Same thing with Roadhog like. Hes so ancom and hes punk and hes metal and he’s grungy and he’s soo!! Give into the voices and make them emo!!

#this is mostly directed towards the way that people try to streamline those two #ive seen in the straight side of the fandom most #ESPECIALLY THE BEACHRAT FANART #People boil junkrat down to some crazy dude and then they try their damndest to make him attractive and unhinged to meet their little #mental quota #LIKE NOOOO #HES FILTHY AND DIRTY AND #STOP MAKING HIM CLEAN #i think that he attracted stright fans with the beachrat skin #but like. no beachrat fanart is right #its all accurate to the skin but its not biblically accurate junkrat #like hes the kind of guy to eat fish he catches live and raw #everything he does terrifies normal people #so normal people try to make him normal? #idk ive just seen this a lot #people try and make him normal #HES NOT #EMBRACE THE MAYHEM #but uh yeah #junkrat #roadhog #overwatch

[cornertheculprit]

so wholly obsessed with the idea that mia is the one who taught phoenix how to play poker in the first place

#like they're just casual games of course nothing serious #and phoenix loses the first few games against her until it's like a switch is flipped in his head and suddenly he's winning over and over #poker face off the shits that disappears as soon as the game's over (like feenie during his testimonies until mia snapped at him) #and when phoenix's first trial comes around and he starts out floundering like a fish out of water some corner of mia's brain is just #despairing like WHERE is the phoenix that kicked my ass at poker. come ON #and then in aa3 maya mentions that phoenix owes her money from losing at some card game #it doesn't specify the card game but it would not surprise me if it was poker. it also wouldn't surprise me if phoenix was letting maya win #(because they talk about the game in the past tense and it makes me think it might've been in the aftermath of the engarde trial. #of course phoenix would let maya win). #and then. when he gets disbarred. when he gets that job at the borscht bowl acting as an attraction to customers who just want to try their #hand at beating the unbeatable champion. maybe sometimes he would think about casual games with mia and what she would think of him now. #EXPLODES! #phoenix wright #mia fey #ace attorney

[titscicle]

being crazy about some guy is wild i just thought of him n was like "he would look so hot in a lovecraftian horror setting"

#charlie slimecicle in 1930s american menswear hello sir #bro would be the type of guy to wear a no waistcoat look with high waisted fish back trousers and suspenders #shirt slightly untucked at the waist one hand on his hip the other holding a cigarette #just saw something beyond his comprehension bifocals crooked hair disheveled thousand yard stare #blood on his hands as he takes a long drag limping away from the scene of something absolutely vile #sigh. hello nurse 🥴🥴 #worlds most normal attraction to charlie slimecicle

[fairuthea]

Okay okay, random question

Kiss, marry, kill with King Trollex? :)

kiss... ma... marry...? Anon???

#fairu's notes #anon #YOU CANNOT COME TO MY ASKBOX AND TEMP ME WITH QUESTION LIKE THAT #ANON ARE YOU /J OR /SRS??? #well yes he's very husband material in my eyes— the freaking opposite personality attractions #and i found him very very cute but there's no in many years i could get in his level #he's a KING for a reason and I'm just a guy #((yes i want kiss and maybeeeee..... marry too? *get slapped)) #but that impossible too bc im a freaking giant and he's a fish #((we're not talking about bruce and his beautiful giant wife)) #but IF im troll—still that impossible because idk?? maybe because he is a KING of TECHNO TROLLS??? #im just a GUY(gn) a random DUDE you rarely meet on the street because they're very much stay at home little critter

[tantaliart]

what you need to know about my group’s ismark is that he is deeply abnormal in ways

tell me about your group’s ismark please I want to know

#he’s repressed #he has 8 exes #he’s grumpier than most ismarks he’s a helicopter brother #he’s the most awkward blunt man you’ve ever met #he once tried to run away with a girlfriend and barely made it out the window before ireena caught him and he started crying #he’s devoted to his little sister’s safety above all else #literally all else #he likes fishing #he had a thing with rahadin and slept with escher but he still insists he’s straight #he got kidnapped in session 4 and was kept in castle ravenloft for 6 sessions as a beauty and the beast type guest #he lost his left leg to baba lysaga in a fight (to be replaced with a prosthetic blade leg) #he’s insecure about his facial hair #he’s attracted to people that are mean to him #he’s afraid to cry #text #curse of strahd #ismark kolyanovich #i meant for him to be normal and he turned out not normal

[nedlittle]

[crawls out of oklahoma! west end bootleg shaking and covered in blood]

#oklahoma! #oklahoma 2019 #oklahoma west end #idk what tags people use #this is pointless text post #thespian tag #TOP 5 MUSICAL IMMEDIATELY ONE OF THE GREATEST ARTISTIC ACHIEVEMENTS OF THE 21ST CENTURY #there are some things that a cast recording simply does not prepare you for and one of those things is the smokehouse scene #literally what the fuck was going through daniel fish's mind when he made those decisions. what the fuck man #truly inspirational level of horniness over all. every single person in oklahoma is bisexual #literally a horror story about comphet!!!! #men can't just be gay they have to bait their love rival into committing suicide in one of the sexiest scenes put to stage #women can't just be gay because they don't understand that they can have freedom from the assumption of male attraction #and yet. everyone is bisexual. it is almost textual that annie pegs will like good for them god bless #i miss the preview version where jud & curly switched outfits by tearing off each other's clothes during the dream ballet #i never saw it but i miss it #the titular song made me want to move to oklahoma i was so excited

[misuutira]

This statistic is a catastrophe of the highest order. 😨

#casuals when they see a blonde-haired blue-eyed conventionally attractive scrub with a personality made of cardboard 👀 #I am an anti will benjamin truther first and a human second #that being said #this is all in good fun btw #no hate to anyone who does like fish boy #he's just... an *acquired* taste here on tumblr lmao #h2o just add water #h2o jaw

[spongebob-connoisseur]

He just like me fr

#I literally screamed #He is doing everything i would do to him <3 #I'm so proud! #I need a slappy shrine NOW #I'd grind up slappy in a mortar and pestle into a fine powder then snort him #Honestly this was so attractive of him #I'd do a line of slappy cocaine #the spongebob connoisseur #spongebob squarepants #spongebob #sb #spongebon squarepants #spongebob meme #slappy laszlo #slappy spongebob #laszlo spongebob #Peter lorre fish #The patrick star show #The patrick show

[the-meme-monarch]

Wolf Tobin's bi trans swag

#hey guess what other lauren bouchard show i started watching #the great north #i Do think i like central park more but this one is also very fun and nice :] #anyway wolf mentions taking ibuprofen and also his baby blanket was pink #i think he told his dad and asked him to come up w a new name and beef just no hesitation went 'wolf' and wolf was like 'perfect!!' #he is I Think canonically bi though #he openly talks about men he finds attractive. w his wife #whom he met on a famous movie quotes website about shrek. they are everything actually #and his brother ham is canonically gay! and dating :] #it’s not a plot driven show so there’s not much of a synopsis i can sell you on . #they live in alaska. they are four siblings and their single dad. they catch fish. it’s all very fun #words from the monarch

[whaleofatjme1920]

I haven’t seen across the spiderverse yet, but all I know rn is you guys want to fuck Miguel O’Hara judging by how he’s ALL OVER my FYP here and on tiktok

#first Peter b Parker and now him #from what I’ve seen he’s so tragic??? #maybe that’s why you’re all attracted to him lol /j #across the spiderverse #fish out of water convos #miguel o'hara

[coredrill]

also i just realized that i never posted my favorite sequence of one piece panels on here

aroace king ‼️‼️‼️

#he cant swim hes always hungry he thinks fish are monstrous he is baffled by attraction. just like me fr!!! #a: one piece #t.txt #i can’t believe i’ve been reading comics since childhood and the biggest one EVER is like. so personally appealing to me. #AND I JUST FOUND OUT!!!!

[muraenide]

i'll pay you in dustballs and lint jade bestie drop the mereel lore so i don't have to osmosis it

Yan Qing / @tenkoseiensei

Truthfully, the payment didn't amount to anything Jade would get paid on a normal day. He wouldn't even have the slightest idea of what he would do with dustballs and lint except mix them into someone's food and watch them choke on it, but the corners of his lips lifts as he watch the shorter man in front of him. "What made you curious? Was it something I said?" It should have been obvious before, the way Yan Qing looked at him in his merform, he's most probably never seen another mer until that very moment. His curiosity had been constant, far more invested in the life Jade lived rather than his own. His eyes slide to the mess of floral tattoos imprinted on half of the other man's body and he grins to himself. Amusing. In the Coral Sea, that would have been mistaken for an attempt to attract a mate if he were to be on the wrong place (mating sites) at the wrong time (mating season). "I suppose I can." He chuckles, taking a seat. "Tell me what you would like to know."

#tenkoseiensei #𖦹 ⋆꙳ ⁄ ic. #// I would say that i feel bad for yq but i am not #// their ceremonial robes in canon are like - long flowly robes #// jade said once that he would be mistaken to be a beautiful fish if he wore that to the coral sea #// and then the second time was during jade's 2nd birthday he was also given something long and flowy to wear #// and for the second time he went like 'Oh dear if i wear this into the coral sea i would attract a lot of fish' #// SO IM SORRY YQ BC LONG AND FLOWY GARMENTS ARE PROBABLY 100% OF THE PEOPLE IN YOUR WORLD #// MERFOLK WILL THINK Y'ALL CONSTANTLY WANT TO MATE #// ALSO JADE GOING LIKE 'OH HES GOT PATTERNS TO ATTRACT A MATE' #// ITS FUNNY TO HIM BC HES LIVE ON LAND LONG ENOUGH TO TELL THAT HUMANS DONT MEAN IT THE SAME WAY THEY DO #// BUT IN THE CORAL SEA A LOT OF FISHES USE PATTERNS ON THEIR BODY INCLUDE BIOLUMINSCENCE TO ATTRACT MATES #// SO RIP YQ HES GOIN TO HAVE A HORDE OF FEMALE MER AFTER HIM IF HE EVER VISITED

[hollowwish]

My theory for why everyone wants to date jimmy is that it has something to do with the cowboy outfit

#are cowboy outfits attractive #googled for research #its the boots or something #maybe the hat #ren posting #cowboy fit is better than the dead fish head he wore last season #maybe its also the sheriff/authority figure thing #combined with his loser boy personality ofc #mcyt #empires s2 #empiresblr #empires jimmy #jimmy solidarity

[stormyykat]

blorbo bleebus your fish (you know the one)

brown hair and pronouns. also i will never check the 'god awful takes' box because i am always right

#ask #anon #oc; olez #arthub #guys im 17 is it ok to admit i feel attraction sometimes or am i still an innocent minor who doesnt know what sex is.. /j #sorry i think olez is hot and i want him sorry #hes so gender goals for me i too want to have muscles and bare chested showing off my top scars and also be covered in hundreds of other- #scars while having fangs. i also want to be a fish