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oaxleaf · 6 months

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love myself a cockroach of a character. i look at them and go ”how is that fucker not dead? they should be dead. they should be dead ten times over. how are they not?” and 90% of the time the answer is a combo of sheer stubborness and homosexuality

#arthur lester #he’s about 15% scar tissue by now i can’t not include him #also:#izzy hands #i know he’s dead and buried now #but i haven’t watched ep 8 yet and anyways he still had like five fakeouts before that

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hamletthedane · 10 months

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Still laughing at Brian May offhandedly writing the greatest understatement in the history of academia in his astrophysics doctoral dissertation:

Ah, yes - “various pressures.” Like being one of the greatest guitarists ever and playing/writing/singing for the most legendary rock band of all time.

Those various pressures.

#queen #Brian May #just a rock and roll god and also an astrophysicist #it’s like Deacon casually inventing the technology for all modern bass stereos bc he was an electrical engineer #a side gig of being a genius #along with their friends ‘learned opera at 5yo and literally SAW music’ and ‘chaos tornado with a promising career in dentistry’#Music #shut up e #these are twitter thoughts but twitter is dead so now I subject you all to them

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movedtodykedvonte · 10 months

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*Spidey and the Sinister Six having their usual fight*

Doc Ock, landing a hit: You’re getting slow Spider-Man! Age finally catching up to you?

Spider-Man: You wish! I haven’t even hit my 30s! From those costumes I can already tell I failed to save you guys from those midlife crises! Sorry by the way.

Vulture: Watch it wallcr- wait… Did you just say your not in your thirties yet?

Spider-Man: Surprised that this spiders so young and spry? Well-

Electro: Dude I’ve been fighting you for at least 5 fucking years! How old even are you?

Shocker, joking cause he’s the only one who picked up no grown adult acts likes Spidey: Don’t swear in-front of the boy you don’t want him to pick it up.

Rhino: Christ! You’re tellin me I almost crushed some 12-year-olds skull all those years ago?

Spider-Man, regretting his quipping: I was not that young! Like just starting freshman year but-

Sandman, horrified as he’s the only one with a kid and dad instincts(as of my iteration): I could’ve killed a kid…

Shocker, genuinely curious: Are you even old enough to drink? Cruel to kill a man who ain’t had his first drink yet.

Electro: Please tell us you’re at least over 25 as of this fight. Hell, I’ll take over 21!

Spider-Man:….

Sandman, realizing just how young he really is: Oh my god.

Spider-Man: My birthday’s coming up soon so I guess it counts?

Doc Ock, exacerbated: It. Does. Not!

Vulture: What would your mother think if she knew her son was out here risking his life telling poorly constructed jokes?

Spider-Man, offended cause it quips slap: 1. My jokes are great 2. She and my dad are dead so-

Sandman, hysterical cause holy shit he almost killed a kid orphan: OH MY GOD!

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zillychu · 4 months

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I decided Danny needed a fire core AU where the portal accident blew up the entire block, condemned all of Amity, and was left to haunt it for 100 years before Sam and Tuck find him 🥰 for enrichment

#danny phantom #no he does not realize he's technically still half alive #yes everyone he ever knew or loved is now dead!#yes this was a flimsy excuse to draw him with very long hair #and feral creature vibes #he's very sad but it's okay his hair is FABULOUS #he breathes smoke when he gets agitated :)#zilly art #fire core au

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thebibliosphere · 3 months

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I feel like I've complained about Tim's email situation in Gotham Knights before (edit: I have), but the truth of it is just so funny.

He's signed up for so many podcasts, video game streamers, and random news alerts; it's just a constant barrage of data going straight into his constantly whirring brain. Hell, he even floats the idea of the Batfamily having their own podcast as a way to correct misinformation about them (which Jason shoots down instantly), and it's made me realize something.

Timothy Drake would be a YouTuber.

In this universe specifically, Timothy Jackson Drake, the heir to Drake Industries and the foster son of the late Bruce Wayne would be a YouTuber.

Think about it. It'd be the perfect cover. Who would ever suspect that some 16-year-old nepo baby with a YouTube channel could ever be Red Robin? You'd have to be mad. I mean, look at him.

Red Robin just dropped out of literal thin air and garotted someone four times his size, and you expect anyone to believe that's the same kid who does 24-hour Minecraft charity streams and occasionally drops 6-hour video essays (his last one was on Lex Luthor's illegal bit mining operation on the moon)?

That kid?

You think that kid is Red Robin?

Ch'yah, okay, sure. And the Joker is funny 🤡.

#gotham knights game #I'm now incorporating this into all my Tim headcanons across the multiverse #twice a week as part of maintaining his Normal Teenager Identity #he streams random shit on YouTube/Twitch #he's got the full gamer set up in the background #LED lights around the ceiling and walls #rainbow keyboard/headset #mini fridge filled with Monster Energy Drinks #(other streamers have 'take a shot' prompts in chat. his audience has 'drink water before you die')#whenever he hosts a charity stream Bruce makes an appearance in chat via the official Wayne Enterprises account #and promises to match whatever they raise #and then hangs about for a bit to cheer Tim on #he's the epitome of 'are ya winning son?' meme #meanwhile off screen #Tim's keeping an eye on a seperate monitor #and helping Babs run remote ops #if his stream suddenly dies (which is does fairly often) he blames it on the Manor having shitty wifi #and that tracks #it's an old house #it's probably FILLED with lead and dead signal spots #in reality Tim killed the stream because Red Robin is needed #and no one will ever know

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nerdpoe · 6 months

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Damian has been partnered up with Daniel in their Home Ec final.

And Daniel...is putting no effort at all into cooking.

Damian keeps trying to convince him to help, but Daniel keeps wriggling his way out of the responsibility.

Damian ends up having to handle the Turkey! Unacceptable! He does not condone the death of animals for food unless it is for survival! This part must be handled by Daniel.

He shoves the turkey in Daniels' hands.

There's a soft green glow.

He hears Daniel whisper a horrified "oh shit no".

And the very dead turkey that they were supposed to be cooking comes to life.

It is very, very angry.

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc #dc x dp #story prompt #phanfic #after it's all said and done damian scolds danny for not telling him about his meta handicap #danny is just too embarrassed #he gets removed from home ec the next day #apparently the principal hadn't believed him when he told them what would happen if he handled dead animals #they believe him now #crack fic

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whyyouacknsocraycray · 7 months

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I love how curious Arthur Morgan is. He doesn't know if dinosaurs are real but he hopes they are and keeps an eye out for large bones. He touches the radio receiver that he was told not to touch because he wants to know what will happen. He shows up at a science lab and says he wishes he'd gone to school. He gets in a hot air balloon and is amazed. Put that man in the non-fiction section of a library and he'd devour it.

#rdr2 #arthur morgan #red dead redemption 2 #he helped make the funding of a library happen through political intimidation now let him use it

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bluerosefox · 3 months

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Presence Pressure

Danny learned the reason why both his adopted parents and the GIW find it a little hard to somewhat track him down in human form (unlike when he's in ghost form) is because when he was still in the LOA he learned to suppress his presence (he was always good stealth, blending in, and other things like that, unlike his brother who didn't have the patience for it) and he does it subconsciously in human form but not in ghost form.

After finding that out he starts to train his ghost form to suppress his core/presence to that nearly of a blob ghost (and boy has it been fun being able to sneak his way into fights when his rogues come to town. Skulker is both the best and worst, he enjoys the challenge, Danny won't lie he enjoys testing his abilities against the 'greatest hunter')

Once Danny got a good handle on it, his parents suddenly burst into his room and announced that they're heading to Gotham tonight!

Cause apparently that 'ghost scum' ecto-signature has been detected there and they finally found it after months of recalibrating their inventions to find his trail. (And where his parents went the GIW have their eyes in his parents which meant they're not to far behind)

Danny is stunned (he forgot Damian and his DNA were very similar due to being 'hand-crafted' and the fact they grew up around the Lazarus Pits, that Danny suspected was dirty ecto now)

Oh... oh no.

#danny phantom #danny fenton #dp x dc #crossover #blue rambles #writing ideas #random idea #danny phantom dc #dpxdc #Danny and Damian are siblings #twins maybe? or year old brothers?#danny was better at stealth over combat #he was still good at it being an al Ghul and all but he shined in infiltration #Damian never really showed it but he did have respect and a little bit of envious towards Danny skills #Danny forgot he can suppress his presence until he remembered and does so #however he forgot Damian cant #oh boy hes gonna be in trouble when Damian finds out #that hes being hunted now? or the fact his sibling is alive after being told he was dead from a botched mission

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dyinggirldied · 3 months

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Valerie's strain of sanity was this, this close to SNAP it. She was at the end of her rope here and it showed. Well, it would show if she took off her mask, letting lose her limp hair and revealing her dark eyebags but she couldn't because she was fighting what-was-his-name, oh right, Skulker.

Skulker, who was demanding to know what had the ghost hunters done with Phantom.

After Phantom's sudden disappearance, it had felt like a blessing. One less ghost scum, the better right? Wrong. She would rather die than admit it but she had underestimated the amount of ghosts Phantom took care of on the daily basic.

The Fenton parents and GIW were no match to those of greater powers, such as Vortex and Undergrowth and she was certain by now they looked no different from her.

Wary. Exhausted. Defeated.

Amity Parkers or at least, the adult ones, hypocritic as they were, had gone from disparaging and objecting to pleading for Phantom's return. Even the ghosts were wondering where was their mysterious ghost boy.

Mayor Masters was also under dark clouds after receiving the citizen's complaints and having to deal with the damages that ranged up to millions of dollars.

At this point, everyone was begging for Phantom to come back from wherever he was.

"Guys!" a voice shouted and she turned, only to see Sidney Poindexter, floating besides them and waving a glowing paper, "It's from Phantom's!"

Just like that, seemingly every human and ghost came out of the bush to know what was the latest news. It didn't get better:

Dear ghosts and Amity Park I guess,

This is from Phantom. I regret, well, not really, to say that having been married into another ghost belongs to another city, I won't be returning to Amity Park anytime soon.

Thankfully never have to deal with you guys anymore,

YOLO,

Phantom

What the fuck.

Or: when a ghost (or half-ghost) marries to a ghost in another city, they basically forfeit their rights to their old home and any businesses going on in their old home is none of their businesses.

In another news, Danny Fenton had been going on romantic rendezvous with a Jason Todd in Gotham City.

#danny can be at any age but i like to imagine he is 15 or 16 #and just in love with this bad boy #and lady gotham is like ok new son #she gives him the lessons on ghosts culture and etiquettes #so now danny has an excuse to not only dates a handsome boy but can focus on his study #this is a no one knows au #dp x dc #dpxdc #dc x dp #dcxdp #dead on main #jason todd x danny fenton

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akicklineisinevitable · 3 months

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no genuinely i think the fastest way to a Max Jägerman Redemption Arc(TM) is putting him in the drama club. literally it would help him get over his toxic masculinity AND let him be a dramatic bitch without being a bully about it. High School Musical his ass

#toxic masculinity is DEAD. he DANCES NOW.#he and ruth could bond over theatre!!! he could help her get over her stage fright!!!!#i need ruth and max friendship they would just be such chaotic besties #originals #nerdy prudes must die #npmd #hatchetverse #hatchetfield #hatchetfield musicals #hatchetfield series #hatchetfield universe #max jägerman

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puppetmaster13u · 5 months

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Prompt 105

A cult summons the ghost king. Except they don’t. Instead they get these tiny white-haired triplets of toddlers blinking at the summoning circle looking confused.

They’ve gotten the ghost princes and princess instead.

The very young princes and princess who are none too pleased and going to cause problems on purpose for both rogues and heroes alike. As godlings de-aged into their ghost age are like to do.

Meanwhile in the Realms, Pariah is staring down at where his trio of ghost toddlers that Clockwork had handed him when he had first woken up and was still groggy just disappeared from. He looks over at Fright Knight, his dearest brother, who looks just as shocked.

Clockwork is going to kill them both if they don’t get the kids back now.

#dcxdp #dpxdc #dan fenton #danny fenton #ellie fenton #pariah dark #fright knight #clockwork #ghost prince danny #prompts #What did Clockwork do? Good question #The Observants sure are regretting some things now though #Pariah was still half asleep when the sarcophagus opened and when three babies were dumped into his arms #His core latched on before he even registered that his maybe-ex was there #Do they count as exes when they never divorced #well if he doesn't get the kids back they sure will be #meanwhile the JL are pulling their hair out #JL Dark are hysterically laughing #Oh god Pariah Dark fuckin procreated they're all so dead #Oh no it's literal toddlers oh fuck #Klarion somehow befriends them via the power of “want to pet my cat”#hilariously all the realms think that the triplets are bio Clockwork's and Pariah's and nothing can convince them otherwise #Look they have Clockwork's hair color! And that one has Pariah's flames awww!#They even have their eyes how adorable!

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dcxdpdabbles · 6 months

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Finders Keepers

"Do not forget that the new groundskeeper is scheduled to arrive today at noon. I expect everyone to be courteous and to clean up their nighttime rubbish before his arrival," Alfred reminds them as they struggle to sit through breakfast.

Last night's patrol was brutal, and everyone was a bit bruised up and sore, not to mention that most only got an hour or so of sleep.

They collectively groan- except for Bruce and Damian, but neither count as full humans anyway, no matter what their DNA says otherwise.

Tim, in particular, is rubbing his hands down his face. "But Alfred, today's my only day off for the next six weeks!"

"I fail to see how your poor time management will change the outcome of doing your chores, Master Tim," The butler states. Tim cowards instantly at the sight of that arched brow on his grandfather's face and melts into his seat.

Pleased, Alfred taps his wristwatch. "You all have three hours. Better get to it."

They scatter. Bruce runs to his office to clean up all his paperwork, knowing some purchases were not Wayne Industries. Jason hits the multiple garages to ensure nothing bat-related is thrown in the toolboxes.

Dick is swinging by the handlers, taping his hands along the beams and pulling out hidden gadgets. Cass and Duke are walking on the roofs, double-checking the boobytraps.

Steph and Damian have offered to patrol the Batcave and the connecting tunnels to ensure the motion sensors are active.

Tim is told to walk along the property and make sure no surprise holes will appear. Bruce fell into the cave system when he was young, so the new groundskeeper might have the same fate. It's the more leisurely job since Bruce obsessively checks since it happened, but they all know Tim can barely keep his eyes open.

Tim doesn't mind because he must pat his bo staff on the ground, stomping his foot ever so often and scanning the environment with his wrist computer. He doesn't even bother to change out of his pajamas- an old pair of sweats and a baggy t-shirt Kon lent him when he once slept over and never returned. It's mostly just a walk, but it feels like an entirety to his sleep-deprived mind.

His eyelids are heavier than usual, every blink feels like a bag of sand, and he still has to check at least three-thirds of the Wayne Manor grounds.

He is wandering towards the east side of the property when he finds a very convenient bush shaped perfectly to block the sun and offer him a tiny nooch to snuggle into.

He glances back at the house and then at the time on his wrist computer. He has two hours and twenty minutes before the groundskeeper arrives.

"One short nap," Tim mutters, getting on his hands and knees to crawl into the bush. He twists to lie on his back, using his jacket as a pillow. His whole body fits inside, so Alfred will likely not catch him. The scrub is soft, and Tim relaxes into his protective shade. "I'll get up in a bit."

The wind blowing through the trees and the bushes around him lures him to sleep.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey"

A voice cuts through his dream of jumping over the city, chasing after his family but maskless. They weren't running around the roofs fighting a good fight; the Waynes in his dream were just spending time together. Laughing. Goodnaturely teasing.

It's wonderful.

It's everything he's ever wanted.

It's slowly disappearing as he is coming back to consciousness.

Tim groans, trying to roll over and return to the dream, but the voice speaks again. "Hey, man, you can't sleep here."

A hand clamps on his shoulder, giving him a gentle shake. Tim mutters, weakly swapping it away. "No. No. No."

"Come one, man, I can't have the big boss see you. It's my first day, and I don't want to get fired because I let some guy sleep in his yard." The voice continues, sounding pleasing and guilty.

Tim whimpers, rubbing his face against the cold hard ground. "No. No. No. Please, I just want to sleep. I'm not hurting anybody."

"Ancients....okay. Okay. Listen, I will let you sleep a little longer while I work. I'll finish mowing the yards and trim all the bushes. That should be at least five hours. I must move you if you're still here when I return."

Tim doesn't answer, too busy slipping back into his sleep as a hand gently runs through his hair. He snuggles into the warm palm with a sigh.

Someone gulps. "I'm in trouble, aren't I?"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tim snaps his eyes open to see that everything is pitch dark. Oh crude!

How long has he been asleep? What time is it? Was Alfred going to kill him!? What was he thinking?

Of course, Alfred would kill him, and unlike Jason or Damiman, the elder would not fail. In fact, from what Tim could make out in the darkness, a man was standing over him wearing white gloves.

He found me! Tim thinks historically. I didn't even have time to run!

The white gloves move closer as if they were going to touch him. He leaps up with a scream, and a man falls over.

"Woah! Woah! Hey, it's okay, I'm not a cop!" The stranger- not Alfred- shouts. Tim pauses, then lets out a louder scream. The man rushes forward to slam his hands against Tim's mouth.

He glances frantically at the manor- it's too far away to see anyone since Tim chose to nap at the very edge of the vast land Bruce's ancestors purchased.- before hissing. "Could you keep it down? Look, I let you sleep long enough; you must move."

Tim blinks owlish at him. His mind is fuzzy- shit, was he hit with something last night? He couldn't remember.- but he thinks he knows him.

Dark Hair.

Blue Eyes.

Pretty facial features.

Oh, it's one of his brothers. Dick? Yeah, it's Dick. Has to be. Tim is sure. He can't think clearly now, but he knows his eldest brother. This guy has the same color eyes. It's him.

Does Dick know he is Tim's brother? Does he know who he is?

"Dick," He tells the man in jeans overalls, just in case he forgets his name. His brother frowns.

"I know. I hate to do it, okay? But you can't sleep here."

"I can't?"

"No, dude."

"Where can I sleep?"

Dick sighs. "I think there is a shelter that-"

"Take me home."

Dick pauses, taken aback. "What?"

Tim leans forward, resting his head on his brother's shoulder. "I'm tired. I want to go home."

"Where do you live? Is there someone I can contact for you?" Dick asks in high pitched voice, seemingly uncomfortable by Tim's closeness but too bad. Tim never gets enough hugs, so he must deal with it because he wants hugs now.

"No, I want to go home with you!" He whines, and the world starts to spin. Quickly closing his eyes against the nausea, Tim tries to hide further into Dick's shoulder. "Take me home with you."

Dick is quiet for a long moment before he slumps. Carefully, he reaches up to pet Tim's hair, and it's so comforting that he almost falls back to sleep. "I'm going to regret this, but something in my core tells me to do what you say. You wouldn't happen to know a Clockwork, would you?"

Tim shakes his head.

"Right. Okay, taking a homeless stranger I found in the Waynor Manor bushes. Seems on-brand to me. Let's go."

Tim follows.

Who was he following? He doesn't remember, but when he climbs into a van with the words "Phantom Groundskeeping," he doesn't feel worried.

In fact, once he's buckled in, head leaning against the window and pulling his legs up to his chest, he feels oddly protected. The driver of the van is also beautiful.

Like wow. Talk about a work of art.

"I love you," He tells the man, who laughs, flickering blue sad eyes at him.

"Thanks. Take a nap. I think you should sleep off whatever your on and then I can get you some help."

"Do you love me too?"

"....sure. Go to sleep now."

"Will I die?"

"What?"

Tim can feel the word fading away, which is terrible; he knows it is but can't remember why. He just knows that when it disappears, he'll never wake up again. He tells the stranger as such, voice just barely above a whisper.

Glowing green eyes snap to him in alarm, and a small breath of blue leaves the stranger's mouth. Tim thinks he's slowly gaining a hint of horror, but his body begs him to sleep.

Tim blinks once, then twice, as the stranger's mouth opens and closes before he snaps his eyes to the road. "What a time to go mad."

The diver's grip on his steering wheel tightens, but Tim can barely keep his eyes open, so he can't see the gorgeous stranger's face as he whispers. "No. I won't let you die. Just....just sleep, okay? I'll figure it out."

Tim does.

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"Crap!" Jason yells, running up the stairs from the Batcave. In his hand are the test results for the standard toxicity screening they all undergo whenever they fight someone who even remotely deals with drugs.

Everyone was too tired to look at them properly, which means they all missed that Tim's blood was covered in what looked like a blend of Poison Ivy's love pollen and some kind of sleep-inducing strain.

Tim is out there, somewhere tripping balls or cuddling up to a stranger or unconscious, slowly slipping into a coma. They all thought he bailed on his work and deserved a day off so no one bothered to go after him.

Now Tim could be dead.

He rounds the large hall, his stomping footsteps barely covering the sounds of Alfred's smooth voice.

"It seems the groundskeeper is asking for a week off already. He just got married and-"

"Crap! Crap! Crap! Bruce!" He shouts, slamming the door of his dad's office open. His grandfather and father both turn sharply to him, and neither misses the paper that Jason throws. Their eyes widen in horror when they read what's on the report. "We need to find Tim!"

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Jazz wakes to find a half-dressed stranger curled around Danny, a ghost contract with drying blood on the ground, and a hastily made banner that reads "Happy Elopement!" thrown on the wall.

The living room looks like a confetti bomb went off in it. Did she miss a party being hosted in her own house? While sleeping in the room next door?

Johnny- her ex and surprisingly good friend after he stop bothering her brother- is sitting cross-legged, eyes glued on the TV.

"What. The. Fuck." Jazz asks, walking over to pour herself a cup of coffee.

"Morning," Johnny replies without so much as turning around. Since Jazz helped plan his and Kitty's wedding, the ghost becomes a brother to the Fentons. "Danny eloped."

"I figured as much by the banner." She mutters, walking over to the couch his brother and her new brother-in-law occupy. She stares at the stranger. He looked....familiar?

"Yeah, don't know all the details, but I guess his hubby was dying, so Danny pulled a Ghost King contract out of his ass and saved him by passing on his healing factor after they were hitched," Johnny says. Jazz takes a sip of her coffee. "I think he thinks he can divorce him or something. But till death due us part doesn't apply to Halfas. They're married forever, even in life or death."

"Shit." Jazz sighs. "Danny got himself into another situation. And he was doing so well recently, too. Became a groundskeeper for the Waynes and everything."

"Waynes pay well?"

"Danny could have paid off my student loans in four paychecks."

"Damn." Johnny whistles. Just then, Kitty floats through the wall wearing a red bathing robe. Jazz will never get used to the fact ghosts could look so human in the morning, with their messy hair and dazed expression. "Morning, babe."

"Morning," Kitty mumbles, leaning down to kiss Johnny. She glances at Danny and smiles. "They're so cute. I'm so happy Danny found his Core Mate."

"Core Mate?" Jazz asks.

"Like a soulmate but more dead," Kitty explains. "They are scarce to find, but once your core finds what it wants, it's fated. That's probably why Danny married so quickly, even if it was to save a life he normally wouldn't have."

Jazz looks back at the boy wrapped around in Danny's arms. Her brother is holding him like he's the most precious thing in either world, even in his sleep, and she knows that no matter what she or anyone says, he's not going to give up- wait a minute.

The stranger moves slightly in his sleep, snuggling up against Danny more, and his hair falls out of his face.

Shit.

"That's Tim Drake. Danny stole away Tim Drake." She deadpans. "Danny went over to cut Bruce Wayne's yard and returned with his son to elop with."

"In one afternoon? I'm impressed." Johnny laughs. "He really said all services included."

"Don't be gross, Johnny," Kitty scolds, but she's smiling. Jazz just shakes her head, reaching down for the contract. She may as well read what kind of dead-brain idea her baby brother got involved with this time.

#dcxdpdabbles #dc x dp crossover #Finders Keepers #dead tired #trigger warning: Druged #Tim get hit with Poison Ivy's pollen #Different Povs #Danny was just trying to do his job #Tim was just trying to nap #Now they married #Danny did in fact think he could marry him pass along his powers though the marriage then divorcé him #Kitty and Johnny are the friends always staying over and munching off your coffee

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