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#He might use his vacation days to send them off?
imfinereallyy · 8 months
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Bedside Manner
for @acasualcrossfade request for "the infection has spread"
"Some birdie told me that you have been causing a fuss, Wayne, is that true?"
Wayne huffs from his hospital bed, glasses sliding down his nose. He places the newspaper he was reading on the table beside him. "You tell that Robbie of yours to stop exaggerating. It was only a small request."
Steve raises his eyebrows at his favorite patient (Dustin tells him he isn't supposed to have favorites, but he also used to cry anytime he picked up Max before him when they were younger, so what does he know) and gives him a knowing look. "Robin listens to no man, Wayne, you know this. You're better off sending that message through her wife. Besides, small? She was telling me you refused to have any other nurse help you because I wasn't here last night. Which surprised me since you are always pushing me on about taking a vacation. "
Wayne opens his mouth, but Steve presses on. "And the fact Robin was even in the room means they called a psych consult, so I can only imagine how bad it was."
Wayne grumbles like a little kid being scolded for getting his hands caught in the cookie jar. "Yea, well, it was a bad night, kid."
Steve feels his shoulders sag, he takes off his glasses and rubs a hand down his face before placing them back on. "Sorry, Wayne, I had a bad migraine last night. Nance and Robs wouldn't even let me pass the entrance. Bad news?"
"Kid, don't stress yourself out over me. I'm just your patient, and more so, I am just a cranky old man." Wayne patted Steve's knee as he sat down next to him.
"C'mon, Wayne. You're more than that. I'd like to think seeing you in and out of here the last year has made us friends. Although I gotta say, you're the only friend I have that I'll be glad if I don't get to see again, given the circumstances. So, what's the news?"
"The infection has spread."
Steve takes in a deep breath, he tries not to panic, but any infection in a hospital can be deadly, especially for a cancer patient like Wayne. "Incision site?"
Steve must not be as good at hiding his emotions as he used to be because Wayne jumps to ease his worry. "No, kid, don't worry. The surgery was a success. Just got that hospital fever, the good old bronchitis. But it just means I'm here longer than I have to. It also means my nephew is on edge, and I don't know if I can take a second longer of his hovering."
Steve laughed wetly, thankful for the topic change. "Ah yes, the mysterious nephew of yours that I've never met. The way you talk about him almost tempts me into switching to the day shift, sounds like he might be entertaining. But only almost."
"Always wondered why you were always working the nights, most of the others seem to switch. Not a big fan of the day?"
Steve shakes his head gently, "No, I like the quiet here at night. Like getting to know the patients without having to worry about fixing ten million things. Don't get me wrong, it has its downfalls. Like the doctors can be horrible at night, never tell Dr. Wheeler that or Robbie will kill me, and the food is awful. But there is something special about it here at night. So sorry, your ridiculous nephew isn't enough to tempt me."
Wayne smirked, "What if I told you he was a looker and single?"
Steve blushes slightly. He is used to patients trying to pawn him off to their relatives, it came with being a young male nurse, but typically it didn't phase him. But Steve has become close with Wayne, so hearing him suggest he get together with his nephew has him flustered. "I'm good, Wayne, thanks. Gave up on the dating scene a while ago. Not many people can keep up with a guy who works nights and suffers from severe head trauma."
"Shame, Eddie likes the nights too. I'd reckon yal would get along."
"I'm pretty sure we would need more than that, Wayne."
Wayne smiles fondly at Steve. "You don't need a whole lot to build a connection, son. Me and Linda, god rest her soul, only started dating for our mutual love of mugs. And we may not have had long together, but our love was strong. Besides, there is more yal would have in common than just the night shift."
Steve huffs a laugh, "Oh yea, like what?" The least he can do is humor the man.
"Well, you both care about me deeply."
Steve blushes again, "C'mon, Wayne. I'm your nurse. I'm kinda paid to care."
Wayne won't hear any of it, "No, son, it's more than that. You take your break in here every night. You make sure to record the game at home for me because they only have the news here. And last night, you tried to come in with a migraine, even though we both know I am the only patient you can stand right now."
Steve doesn't know what to say back. Wayne is right, of course. Steve has been spending all of his time with the man, giving him extra care. Steve isn't bad with his other patients, he goes above and beyond most of his coworkers, but there is something special about Wayne.
"You got nothing, kid, you know I'm right. Remind me a lot of my nephew. Before visiting hours ended is when I got the news of having to stay longer. Kid almost threw a fit when they kicked him out. Swore he was gonna break in to stay the night with me. I told him not to worry since you would be there, I brag about you too, ya know. When he found out today you weren't here, that boy threw a fit again. Swear he gets his tantrums from his father. Said he was gonna sneak back in tonight. Make sure I had company. That 'the man' couldn't stop him. That if he ran into you, he was gonna have a word with you."
Steve can't help the snort that shakes his body, "I'd like to see him get passed Hop first."
Wayne starts to chuckle, too, "Eds may have had his fair share of escaping the law, but no man moves as fast as Jim in a security uniform."
Steve is fully laughing now, "I know, right? It's like those pants make him aerodynamic or something. No way your nephew is getting by."
It is almost as if Steve's words summon what happens next. There in the doorway is the most gorgeous man he's ever seen, even though he is bent over and out of breath.
"Eds?" Wayne questions, clearly surprised. Steve has to mask his face and quickly before Wayne catches him ogling his nephew. Steve is finding it difficult, though. The man, Eddie, despite his out-of-breath appearance, is stunning. His long curly hair is thrown up in a bun, showing off the piercings up his ears. His clothes are simple but suiting, ripped jeans and a black band tee. Tattoos cover his entire body, and Steve wants to ask about every single one of them.
The most surprising thing about him isn't that he got by Hop (although he has questions for that later), no the most surprising thing to Steve is that Wayne somehow knew his exact type, which most people assume wrong in that department.
Eddie awakens an old craving inside Steve that he thought he had buried long ago.
"Wayne, you would not believe what I just went to get up here. The story I have for you, oh boy. You're gonna love it. Who knew security guards could move that fast. Anyway, I hope that nurse boy of yours is here tonight because I am ready to—" Eddie stops mid-rant when his eyes land on Steve, a lovely blush blossoming across his pale cheeks.
"I believe what you are trying to say is, what was it, Wayne? Oh yea, 'have a word with me,'" Steve laughs softly.
Eddie sputters, "Wayne!?!" His blushing becomes deeper as the seconds pass by.
Wayne just chuckles as Steve stands. "Don't be mad at your Uncle, I think he was just trying to make me feel better. I am sorry I wasn't here last night for the news. Got my head knocked around too much as a kid—" Steve taps his head with his knuckles, "—so I suffer from migraines sometimes. I really did try to come in, but well—you met Jim. He's pretty fast." Steve worries his lip. Eddie's eyes follow.
"Well, I can't be too mad now, can I?" Eddie swallows nervously before a smirk spreads across his face, switching from shy to confident in two seconds flat. Steve shouldn't be turned on by that. "The pretty face helps too. I'm pretty sure you could convince me to give you my kidney right about now. I'm Eddie, which I know you know by now, and you are...?"
Steve puts his hand out for a shake, "Nurse Harrington. But most people call me Steve."
Eddie grabs his hand gently and brings the back of it to his lips. "Stevie, a pleasure, really." A light kiss is placed on Steve's knuckles. Stevie, he thinks. That's a new one. And he isn't mad about it, at all. In fact, the butterflies in his stomach want him to get Eddie to say it again.
Steve catches Wayne's smug face in the corner of his eye as Steve begins to blush again.
"I'm just gonna—I'll be right back." Steve stutters.
"Leaving so soon?" Eddie says disappointed.
Steve has the sudden urge to fix the frown on his face. "No, no! Just, uh, gonna call Jim and tell him not to send out a search party. That it's okay if you stay. I'll keep an eye on you."
Eddie's face breaks out into a brilliant smile, "Really, Stevie? You gonna keep me around?"
Steve's heart skips a beat, "If I can help it."
***
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honeysimagines · 1 year
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pairing: Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw x fem!reader
plot: at a get together after the mission the dagger squad finds out some things about Rooster, causing Maverick to step up and try and help…
warnings: drinking, references to parental death and past trauma
notes: for K ♡︎, thank you for letting me bother you with this for weeks
words: 7k
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It was a bittersweet evening at The Hard Deck but they tried to not let it show. After the successful mission it was time to dismantle their little ragtag group of pilots and for everybody to head back to their former assignments. Sadly Fritz had to fly out in the early afternoon but the rest of the pilots and backseaters had descended upon the bar and shuffled some tables around with Penny’s permission to make a large circle where everybody found a place for at least the next few hours.
It felt good to be back on solid ground. While being in the air was one of the best feelings in Rooster’s mind he was glad to be off the ship again. With the old jukebox playing music and the patrons of the bar talking and laughing together it was a little easier to forget about the events that happened just a few days prior.
“You guys are lucky,” Harvard pointed out after everybody except Bob was a few drinks in, “at least you guys get a few weeks leave.” The other aviators knew it wasn’t coming from a place of malice, had they been in the place of the aviators that didn’t fly the mission they’d probably think exactly the same way. Everybody craved the comfort of home while deployed.
“Yeah,” Omaha added, “Leave would be nice. I wish I could head home, see family. My sister had a baby months ago, never even met the kid and he’s already crawling.”
“Maybe Mav can put in a nice word with the commander. Make it so everybody can go home faster.” Rooster said after taking a drink of his beer, “Although with him there’s always a chance we’d end up shipped out overseas for a few months.”
A few nods and words of agreement greeted Maverick as he made his way back to the group after not so sneakily disappearing to the back of the bar with Penny earlier. At least he was smart enough to get a new beer so he could play it off as just getting another drink, even if none of the other aviators bought it. “What are we talking about?”
“Leave.”
The older man just took his place among his now former students, looking around. “That’s nice. What are everybody’s plans?”
Most of the others just answered with the basics. Going to see family, spending some time with their loved ones. Hangman wanted to use his time for a vacation and Rooster didn’t doubt that in a week there’d be pictures of Hangman’s abs at a beautiful tropical beach all over social media. At least that gave him time to prepare a witty joke he could send in the groupchat to roast the blond.
Realizing he was the only one of the lucky ones that hadn’t shared his plans, Rooster took another drink of his beer, finishing the bottle before putting it down on the table in front of him. “Don’t know yet. Probably going to spend some time catching up with Mav and after that head home to see the missus.”
Several heads whipped around to look at him with a speed that put fighter jets to shame. Rooster was sure he saw poor Bob get whipped in the face by Phoenix’ ponytail hard enough for his glasses to become crooked on his face.
“The what now?!” Multiple voices said loud enough to draw the attention of other patrons but the group skillfully avoided paying attention to them.
Hangman let out a fake cough to hide his reaction but he couldn’t hide the curiosity in his voice as he spoke. “Didn’t know you were married, Rooster.”
“Congrats.” Mavericks' voice tore him out of his thoughts about how Hangman had no reason to know his relationship status. His godfather looked at him with a certain sadness in his eyes that made Rooster mad for a split second before he reminded himself that they were working on mending their relationship and a missed wedding might have been another thing to add to the list of life events they didn’t share like they should have.
“I’m not married.” He paused, trying to find the right words to describe what the two of you were. “It’s an… inside joke with an old friend.”
“Oh that’s-”
“I thought about asking her once but… yeah no I’m not married.” He rambled on, unable to stop himself, almost forgetting about his fellow pilots as he looked at Maverick and the way his eyebrows knit up in confusion.
The rest of the group just looked at him before Halo slapped her knees before standing up, signaling she was ready to leave.
“And that’s our cue. Come on boys, let’s give the Daggers some privacy. You coming with, Coyote?”
“Nah, I’m Hangman’s ride. Can’t leave him with the bunch. He’d just say something to piss them off and they’d leave him here.”
It wasn’t a tearful goodbye but hugs and handshakes were exchanged alongside promises to stay in touch. But almost as soon as Halo led Omaha, Yale, and Harvard away from the table all heads turned to Rooster again. Great.
“Alright, spill!” Phoenix ordered. Bob behind her enthusiastically nodded his head to back his pilot up.
“Guys, maybe that’s not-”
“Ignore Maverick. Spill Rooster!” Hangman interrupted.
Sighing he looked at his empty beer on the table in front of him and wished he had a full one in its place. Or maybe a tall soft drink glass full of whiskey neat.
“Here.” Mav pushed over the beer he picked up earlier, opened but still full.
“There’s not much to talk about.” He tried to defend himself. “She’s a friend. A good friend.”
That wasn’t enough to satisfy the lot in front of him though. Phoenix was motioning for him to continue and part of him wished it was just her he was talking too. She had always been a good friend. A good person to talk to when he had the need to talk. Even if they rarely had the chance to just sit down and chat due to the nature of their work.
“Lives in the old house.” He continued in a low voice, hearing his godfather inhale sharply next to him.
“I wasn’t ready to let it go but I- I couldn’t stay there. Not alone. Not after mom died. So when I left and she needed a place to stay I told her she could have it. Tried to pay me rent for years but I don’t take it. If she didn’t stay there it would be empty anyways so why waste a perfectly good house, you know. I go back every few months and she keeps my shit around.”
He just focused on the bottle in front of him, thumbing away at the label as the stares of his friends bore holes into him.  
“That’s….nice.” The hesitant tone alone voided the words, he didn’t need to see the unsure face on top of it. He didn’t even want to imagine what the group was thinking of him at that moment. Revealing his tragic backstory in the middle of a bar.
“It’s not really home but it’s… it’s a homebase. Someplace to retreat to in case I’m back stateside.”
“And how long has this been going on?” Bob asked from behind Phoenix, confused, and Rooster was suddenly reminded of the years he had on them. Years because Mav held him back.
Years because he tried to protect you - a soft voice that sounded too much like his mother reminded him in the back of his head.
“Fifteen years? Give or take.” He mumbled.
“And how long have you been fucking her?” Three arms reached across the table to swat at Hangman for his question, Phoenix getting him in the arm hard enough for him to wince loudy.
“Fifteen years. Give or take.”
The only thing preventing an awkward moment of silence falling over the group was the fact that Fanboy choked on his beer hard enough that for the next few moments all the attention went to him, their group making sure that the WSO didn’t die. It didn’t prevent an awkward pause that followed after though. It was heavy, only interrupted by muffled coughing.
“Wasn’t expecting that to be completely honest.” Hangman said after everybody had mostly calmed down. When Rooster looked over to him he saw that the usual cocky smirk was nowhere to be found on Hangman’s face and for the first time in his life he wished the other man would make fun of him. Look at him with something more than blank surprise or maybe thinly veiled pity.
“Fifteen years is a pretty long relationship to have, Rooster. Even if you’re not married, that's still impressive.” Coyote tried to be uplifting, smiling at him across the table.
“We’re not dating either. Told you she’s just a friend.”
“But you’re fucking?” Hangman asked.
“Whenever I go back. Unless she’s in a relationship at the time which hasn’t really happened yet because she doesn’t really date but most of the time, yeah.”
Across the table Payback raised his beer to him before taking a sip. “I mean… friends with benefits isn’t bad. Me and my wife started out as fuckbuddies before I grew the balls to ask her out for real.”
A few of the guys around the table nodded in agreement while Phoenix rolled her eyes hard enough that Rooster was worried they’d get stuck, but nobody added on to what Payback said.
Another few moments of silence followed before Bob spoke up, all eyes on the quiet WSO. “So let me get this straight. You and this woman have been on again off again fuckbuddies for the past fifteen years. She lives in your house. You nearly asked her to marry you….. and you still insist that she is just a friend?”
It came out rather harsh and nobody really knew how to react, least of all Rooster. Nodding, he took another drink of his beer, breaking eye contact with Bob.
Pushing his chair back from the table Bob moved to get up from their table. “Jesus fuck I need a drink.”
“Bob, you don’t drink.” Phoenix pushed her chair back too, quick to back up her backseater.
“I’m starting now.”  
Six pairs of eyes watched as the two walked over to the bar but the men soon found themselves returning their attention back to the conversation.
“That’s a long time to pine over somebody, Rooster.” Fanboy chimed in, the pilots around the table nodding in agreement.
Before he could defend himself that he wasn’t pining, Hangman decided to speak up again.
“Jesus dude I know you like to wait things out but that’s long even for you.” Putting his arm around his shoulder he continued, “Gonna make your move when you get back? You’re a hero now Rooster, that gets the girls hot. No way she’ll say no.”
Without looking at the other man Rooster just shook off his arm, not taking his eyes off the bottle in front of him. Half the label was missing at this point but scratching at it kept his hands busy at least. “She’s just a friend, Bagman. Just a friend.”
Before any of the others could comment on it, Bob and Phoenix made their way back over to the group, letting themselves fall into the seats they had abandoned before. Their little comeback thankfully drew the attention to them and off Rooster, something he really appreciated. Judging by the way Bob was looking, his first drink didn’t go over all that smoothly.
“How’d he do Phoenix?” Mav teased.
“Went straight for the tequila. I tried to tell him he should start out with a beer but noooo.” She drew out the vowel, interrupted herself with a short giggle, before continuing, “Doubleshot of the cheapest tequila Penny had, didn’t even pull a face.” Phoenix bragged while giving Bob an encouraging pat on the back as he kept quiet. She turned to Hangman, sizing him up before adding. “You can ask Penny if you don’t believe me, Bagman.”
“Nah screw that.” Hangman replied, jumping up in his seat and leaning across the table to get closer to Bob, and Rooster was glad that they seemed to have found a new topic to latch onto. “First time and he went straight for the kill. Atta boy Bobby. Mister B.O.B.”  
Most people around the table joined in with Hangman who continued to go on and on like usual while Rooster just went back to focusing on the bottle in front of him. He continued to thumb at the label, using the nail to push the paper back little by little. Almost everybody had stopped paying attention to him but he could feel Maverick’s gaze burn into the side of his head. He just hoped the older man would let it go.
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Maverick did not let it go.
Two days after the night at The Hard Deck he was pounding on the door of Rooster’s room until he had no other choice but to roll out of bed. Stumbling his way to the door with half closed eyes he cursed as he walked straight into a table, a hand coming up to rub over his thigh while the other one pulled open his front door.
“What?” The words came out harder than he intended but the other man didn’t react, instead pushing past him into the room.
“Great, you’re up. Come on get dressed, we need to leave soon.”
“It’s like…” He picked up his phone from the nightstand, dropping it onto the bed after he saw the time. “6 in the goddamn morning. Why are you waking me up at 6am on my day off, Mav?”
“I want to show you something but we need to hit the road soon unless you want it to become an overnight trip. So go and get ready.” Maverick picked up a shirt he had thrown over a chair a day or two ago and threw it at Rooster, catching him off guard enough for it to hit him square in the face.
Knowing full well he couldn’t escape this trip Rooster just sighed and gathered his things so he could get ready. Hurrying through the process of getting ready until he was standing back in his room, silently looking at Mav while the older man looked at the pictures Rooster had taped up next to his bed.
Most of his memories were kept in his phone nowadays but he still liked to keep a few  physical pictures with him on deployment. An old strip from a photobooth the two of you had squeezed yourself into, you perched on his lap with his arms wrapped around your middle while you made faces into the camera right next to the picture of his parents with their arms around each other. Maverick was focused on the third picture that was taped up though, their last family picture from before the accident. It had been hard to bend the picture in a way that properly hid Mav since they were all crowded together, Mom and Dad and Mav with little Rooster in the middle. He didn’t regret not tearing it apart in a fit of anger though. Instead he had taken it down after the mission, carefully straightened out the picture until Maverick was no longer hidden behind the back of the picture and next to them again, before putting it back up with their family reunited.
Rooster watched as he reached out and trailed a finger across the crease. It felt like he was interrupting a moment so he just stood still for a few more seconds, giving Maverick a little bit more time. When the other man turned around he didn’t seem surprised to see Rooster standing in the middle of his room though, a small smile growing on his face.
“Ready to go, kid?”
“Yeah.” He replied, waiting for Mav to bring up the pictures or where they were going but nothing came in response.
“Great.” Maverick stepped past him, hand coming up to give his shoulder a firm pat. “We’re taking your Bronco.”
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It wasn’t until they were out of San Diego and making their way down a highway out east that Maverick opened up a little. He had been designated to the passenger side, left to peruse through the handful of cassette tapes in the glove box and play navigator while Rooster drove.
“Good selection.”
Out of the corner of his eyes Rooster could see the older man’s hands stopping once he came across a familiar mixtape, his own illegible handwriting staring back at him. He had played the tape over the years, knew the songs by heart even. But he still wasn’t able to read the writing. Your daddy had the nicest handwriting - his mother used to tell him - always filling out paperwork for Maverick. It wasn’t until he was older that he understood why his mother continued to do the same after his father’s death. A small act of kindness towards the poor soul that had to deal with Maverick Mitchell, saving at least a little bit of their sanity by shielding them from his terrible chicken scratch. Mav could write legibly when he cared, Rooster had a shoebox full of cards and letters at the old house that proved this, but he never really cared for paperwork.
Still focusing most of his attention on the road in front of them, Rooster saw the older man opening the case and carefully putting it into the correct slot on the old car. It took a moment for it to start but he smiled as the intro to Danger Zone began playing. Mav was nodding his head along the rhythm and Rooster could feel himself being overcome by some kind of nostalgic sorrow.
He was young when his father died. Too young. That wasn’t something he ever tried or was able to hide. But he tried his hardest to shield the ones around him from the full truth and maybe lie to himself a little. Nick Bradshaw had been a good man and he deserved to be remembered as such by his loved ones. Which just caused his limited memories of his dad to be all the more painful. No matter how hard Rooster tried to find new memories hidden away in a far corner of his brain he was stuck with a handful of amazing but painful ones.
It must have been mere days before the accident. His mom was somewhere, he didn’t quite know where, but his dad and his uncle Mav were with him. He remembered that the radio was blasting Danger Zone and that the adults had been singing along. They had all jumped across the room wildly and his uncle had picked him up only to collapse onto a couch or bench or something similar towards the end of the song.
After their falling out it had taken him years until he could listen to the song again without getting overwhelmed by emotions. But sitting here now, side by side with the man he tried to hate for years, all that heaviness he’d been carrying around with himself seemed to lift. It would never be like that one carefree summer afternoon in San Diego again but Rooster was certain that they could work towards mending their relationship again and he looked forward to it.
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They had been driving for hours and Rooster was starting to get tired of the scenery. While he appreciated the desert as a beautiful place in theory after driving through it for a while it started to become too monotonous for him. They had stopped at a diner in a small town around eleven and eaten what would probably be considered brunch although there was a distinct lack of mimosas. He had filled the tank while Mav picked up some things from a nearby store and they were on the road again before noon.
“There’s a dirt road up ahead, on the left side. No street sign but you’ll see it.”
It was easy to follow his directions, pulling the Bronco into the street and making their way down the road. He could see a building up ahead, far enough removed from the main road to not be visible to passing cars but now that they were on the smaller dirt road Rooster was able to see that they were heading straight towards it.
An airplane hangar. Maverick had taken him to an airplane hangar. In the middle of the damn Mojave.
He slowed down the car once they got close enough, coming to a stop near the access doors but off to the side so he wouldn’t block the runway. If it involved Mav and a hangar there would definitely be planes around and he didn’t want to be in the way.
“Remember the thing you talked about last time at The Hard Deck?” Maverick said, hopping out of the car and Rooster had to suppress a laugh at the sight before he exited the Bronco too.
He watched as Maverick walked over to the middle of the hangar and raised his voice a little so that the older man could hear him even as he walked away. “What thing? I talked about a lot of things.”
“About the old house and it being your homebase.” Maverick was fiddling around with the chain that hung in the middle of the giant doors but Rooster couldn’t see what exactly he was doing, even as he walked closer.
“Well….” The chain rattled as it fell to the ground but Mav picked it up before giving each side of the heavy doors a push. “Welcome to my homebase.” Maverick said before slipping through the gap in the door and disappearing into the darkness.
Homebase. The stupid word echoed in his mind as he hesitated to follow the older man into the hangar. He had said that, hadn’t he? Downplayed the significance of you, your home… his home. Expressing his feelings had never been his strong suit but part of him didn’t regret his selfish choice of words. He trusted the daggers with his life but he didn’t want to share your relationship with them, not when he wasn’t sure of things himself.
He couldn’t bare himself to them in such a manner. Not when he still struggled to come to terms with things himself.
Trying to shake those thoughts he followed after Mav. The inside of the hangar was significantly darker than the outside even with the slight opening in the doors letting in light and his eyes needed a moment to adjust before he could see but when they did he looked around the large space in awe.
Rooster knew that the older man had an affinity for all things speed -bikes and planes, even the occasional sports car- but looking around he was surprised by how many machines he could see. Just from a first glance he counted at least 15, half of which he somewhat remembered from his childhood, as well as an old P-51 and… random furniture placed in front of a trailer?
“What-” He started but didn’t finish his sentence. What would he even ask? What is this place? Homebase. Mav had already said that.
He looked around again, trying to find Maverick between the machines.
“Go sit down.”
He nearly jumped at the sound of Mav’s voice echoing through the hanger. He hadn’t seen or heard him coming at all.
“I’ll go get the bags from the car but you go sit. Or go look around. Make yourself at home. Just don’t touch anything.”
The way he said it sounded like an adult warning a small child. Don’t touch anything, you could get hurt. And for a second Rooster thought about all the years he had spent with Maverick and his machines. How they had fixed up old bikes and Mav had patiently explained what every tiny screw does before ruffling his hair and telling him good job buddy for handing him a wrench. How he had helped Rooster get all his licenses from bikes to cars to planes and then let him take out some of the machines for joyrides or to impress girls at his high school. How he knew what he was doing and if he wanted to he could touch because he knew not to get hurt. Because he’s not a kid anymore. Because Mav taught him how not to get hurt.
But instead he kept quiet and looked around.
Rooster spent a while looking at the P-51. That thing must have cost a fortune even if it was old and Mav did the repairs himself. It was a gorgeous plane though and he hoped that he could convince his godfather to take him up with it soon.
The row of bikes felt so familiar it hurt but he still ran his fingers over the polished metal with care. All neatly lined up along the side of the hangar.
When he was younger Mav kept a locker covered in stickers in their garage. He still had the same locker now in the hangar and the collection of stickers had only grown. He used to go into the garage to look at them all the time when he was a child. Stickers of the different squadrons in all colors of the rainbow. He had them all memorized before he had memorized all 50 states. This one is where Ice flies -Maverick would point out- and this one is the squad that has to deal with Wolfman and Hollywood. They had gone through all the different symbols and pointed out when one of Mav’s friends flew with them.
As a kid he often wondered which squadron he would be assigned to, what insignia he would rep. He slowly raised a hand and ran his fingers over the Golden Warriors sticker at the side of the locker when something past the locker caught his eye.
Pictures upon pictures taped to the wall, familiar faces staring back at him. He could see pictures of Maverick and his parents as he stepped closer. Iceman. Their class at top gun.
Himself.
One of the pictures he knew. It was taken the day his high school baseball team had won a state championship and he remembered feeling like he was on top of the world. His mom had already been sick at that point but her prognosis had been good. Mav had been home from deployment and was able to bring his mom and together they had cheered loud enough that they could be heard across the entire pitch. Other teens would have felt embarrassed but Bradley had felt nothing but love. They had taken him out to eat afterwards and he had talked their ears off while stuffing his face with fries. His mother hadn’t even scolded him for talking with his mouth full. He had asked about the naval academy and if they had a baseball team and if Mav thought he should join. They’d all been so happy.
Not even a year later his mom was dead and Mav had pulled his papers and he had found himself on the other side of the continent completely alone.
Mav had another picture of him as well although he didn’t know where he got it. It was a newer one of him in his uniform, taken before the start of his last deployment. Ice, he answered his own unasked question. There was only one person that held enough rank and love for Maverick to get a hold of his picture.
He should have reached out sooner. If not to Mav then at least Iceman. Even in his stubbornness he had to admit that the late admiral had never treated him with anything but kindness and now it was too late to apologize.
“There you are.” Mav’s voice came from behind him and Rooster was proud that he didn’t flinch at the sudden noise. He had completely forgotten that he wasn’t alone in the hangar.
Instead of speaking immediately he took a deep breath and swallowed down his feelings. One step at a time. First he’d mend things with Mav for the future, then he’d ask for forgiveness for the past.
“Quite the collection you got here.” He said instead.
“Yeah?” He could see how the older man’s eyes lighted up at the mention of his machines. “I got more up here and a few more back there.” He turned around to point them out to Rooster, taking a few steps away from the side of the hangar.
“I’ve put the bikes on the backburner for a little bit to focus on the plane but as soon as I get it back up and running I have a few that need repairs. Maybe you could come and help me out a little. Like old times.” Mav smiled.
“That would be nice.”
He watched as Maverick walked over to the sitting area and followed. He disappeared into the trailer for a moment only to come out holding two bottles in his hands and gesturing for Rooster to sit. It was almost as if he had set up a little living room in the middle of the hangar. With an armchair and a couch, a small coffee table all on a big rug in front of the trailer. Wait…
“Mav do you fucking live here?”
Mav just gestured to the couch. “Sit down Bradley.”
It felt weird to be called Bradley again. For years he had only gone by Rooster or Bradshaw, building it up almost like a second identity or an armor. To him it felt like he had left Bradley behind years ago when he left home. Still, he sat down.
He looked at Mav.
Mav looked at him.
“Yes Bradley. I’ve been living in this hangar for the past few years while stationed at a nearby air base.” He finally said.
“In that trailer?”
Mav didn’t say anything, just nodded while looking at him.
He shifted a little where he sat on the couch, trying to avoid eye contact. “So you’re just all alone out here in the desert?”
“You know I’m used to being on my own, Bradley. No wife, no kids.”
Nobody to mourn you when you burn in.
He should have known that he would end up eating his words. No matter how much anger and distress he was feeling when he spoke them, no words were said without consequences and he was about to be faced with his.
He shifted in his seat again, still not meeting the older man’s eyes. “Mav, listen…”
“No. No.” Mav took a deep breath and let in out loud enough for him to hear it through the distance between them. “You were right.”
Another silence fell over them, this one weighing heavier on him than the ones before.
“I fear we’re a lot more similar than either of us would like to admit.”
It sounded less than a statement and more like a confession or maybe even a little bit of an apology. Like it pained Maverick to admit it and he had to force himself to say them. As if it had been a shortcoming on his end that had made them this way and not just the universe playing a cruel joke.
“There are… a lot of things we need to talk about and a lot of things I need to apologize for but not now. We have all the time in the world to talk things out but that’s not why I brought you here.”
“Then why did you?” His own voice sounded strange to him but he couldn’t figure out why. His thoughts were racing but at the same time his mind felt emptier than ever.
“I don’t want you to repeat the same mistakes I made.”
“Mav…”
“People like us belong in the sky and when something comes along to threaten that things turn ugly. You think there’s nothing worse than having that freedom taken away from you but there is. Because we can’t… we can’t stay up there forever, Bradley, no matter how hard we try. Once that’s taken away you have to look around and see what’s waiting for you on the ground. And when you see there’s nothing waiting for you… That’s scary, kid.”
Although he understood every word coming out of Maverick’s mouth he couldn’t understand what he was saying.
“You’re allowed to put down roots without them chaining you to the ground. You’re allowed to build a home and a family without fear holding you back.”
And all of a sudden his words began to make sense.
No wife. No kids.
Just like him.
Somebody to mourn him if he burns in.
“I don’t think…”
“Don't think. Just do.”
That damn sentence had burrowed itself into his mind. Nested itself deep enough in his subconscious that there was no way he’d ever get rid of it again and Maverick repeating them now did nothing to soften the blow he felt.
“You love her, don’t you?”
Such a simple question. Such a simple answer. Yet it felt like he had to force himself to admit it. “Yes.”
“Then tell her.”
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Sometimes home wasn’t a place but a person but there had to be some incredible luck involved for the two to overlap for him.
For years he had felt a certain type of sadness while driving up to his childhood home, reminiscing about all he’s lost, but as he pulled his Bronco into the little driveway all he could think about was what he was about to gain. His stomach was twisting and turning in anticipation.
Part of him wondered if he was doing the right thing, finally confessing to you. The friendship you had built over the span of more than one decade was too important and he didn’t want to mess it up. It had been easier when he was young and stupid and fell into bed with you the first time without consideration but now your time together weighted on him. He hesitated before exiting the car, mentally going over everything he wanted to say and repeating the words Mav had told him before sending him on his way.
She wouldn’t have waited fifteen years for you to get your act together if she wasn’t head over heels in love with you too.
Oh how he hoped that Maverick was right.
Taking one last deep breath he opened the door and got out, throwing it closed behind him. You had planted some new flowers in the front yard. Last time he had been here he was greeted by soft yellow flowers but now all he could see was a beautiful red. Granted it had been a few months since he last came by but he still felt a slight sting at the change. Not that it happened -he was glad that you actually felt at home in your house and comfortable enough to change the greenery- but the fact that he missed it. As he made his way towards the front door he thought about all the other things that could have changed since he saw you last. Did you get new pillows for the couch? Hung new pictures on the walls?
He had to search through his keys for a moment before he found the house key but as soon as he did he unlocked the door and stepped inside. There were noises coming from the tv in the living room and he had no problem imagining you curled up on the couch with a soft blanket and a mug held between your soft hands with one of your shows playing.
“Honey, I’m home!” He called out, hoping that you wouldn’t be able to hear the desperation in his voice and only the excitement.
Instead of a response he could only hear a crash coming from the living room and instantly became concerned. He couldn’t take more than two steps down the hallway though before you suddenly appeared at the other end of the small space. Messy hair and comfy clothes he didn’t have time to brace himself before you all but tackled him, clinging to his body while his arms came up to hold you up and against him.
Holding you in his arms again just made him feel so much more confident in his decision. His body still felt a little sore even a week after the mission but he’d never tell you out of fear that you would lessen your crushing embrace. The last thing he wanted right now was to be separated from you in any way. He could feel saying something against his shoulder but he couldn’t hear anything, the sound muffled by his shirt.
You must have realized that he wasn’t able to understand what you were saying because you pulled away a little so he could understand you better. “You’re home.” You almost whispered, voice airy and light and a big smile on your face. “Why are you home? You’re supposed to be overseas, why are you here? You always text me before you’re home or at least give me a call. Are you okay? What happened?”
He smiled as you took his hands between your hands, trying to see if he was hurt while rambling and he just couldn’t hold himself back any longer so he leaned down and finally, finally put his lips on yours in the softest, most loving kiss he could muster with the amount of desire running through his body. If he surprised you with his kiss you didn’t show it, instead your lips began to move against his, only for him to pull away once you try to deepen the kiss.
“I love you.”
The words didn’t feel foreign in his mouth even though it was the first time he said them for a long long time. He’s been running from his true feelings for as long as he could remember but now that he managed to spill them he couldn’t stop.
“I love you. I love you. I love you.”
Realizing that he was still holding you up, he carefully lowered you down until there was solid ground underneath your feet. You looked so sweet just standing there and part of him just wanted to swoop you right up again. Instead he brought one of his hands up to cradle your face, carefully stroking his thumb over your cheek.
“Baby...” You started but stopped when his thumb brushed over your bottom lip.
“I love you and I’m sorry.”
He could see your brows furrow in confusion so he continued.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was scared and it took me fifteen years to finally admit it but I love you. I love you and I’m not scared anymore and I’m yours… in any way that you’ll have me.” It was a blatant lie. He wasn’t just scared, he was absolutely terrified. Not just about his confession but also the future and the past and everything in between. But he needed to tell you how he felt so desperately.
Your hand touching his brought him back from his thoughts, cradling his hands while he cradled your face and a smile so wide he couldn’t focus.
When you spoke your voice was barely more than a whisper. “Oh you stupid man.”
For an awful drawn-out second he couldn’t breathe before your lips met his again and he felt whole again. Deepening the kiss all he could think about was how he was never letting go of you again.
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Lieutenant Jakob Middlename Seresin enjoyed the simple things in life. A cold beer, a light breeze, and a beach full of attractive people were paradise on earth for him. After the recent mission all he wanted to do was lay back and relax before he had to head back out for deployment so when two of his old academy buddies talked about their new house in Hawai’i he invited himself to crash in their guest bedroom for two weeks and so far it had been nothing but pure bliss.
Taking a picture of his current view he sent it to his parents before pulling up the group chat Fanboy had made for everybody involved in the mission. He had missed about 50 messages but just from scrolling past them he picked up that Bob had sent a picture with his family and now everybody was roasting him for how out of character it seemed. Apparently there were flannel shirts and horses involved and Jake was just about to scroll back up to take a look himself so that he could join in the fun when a new message was sent to the group chat that caused him to drop his phone into the fine sand with a bitten off curse.
Rooster 🐓
getting hitched in vegas this wknd, be there or be square
txt Mav for details
Before he could fully process what he just read the chat was blowing up again. Text after texts came in expressing various degrees of excitement but Jake just read over Rooster’s text again before putting his phone away. With a sigh he brought his half-empty beer up to his lips and emptied the bottle before getting up to make his way back to the house.
It was only Wednesday so he still had a little time to enjoy his vacation before he had to head back to the mainland and he fully planned on enjoying it. He just needed to ask his friends where he could buy some gaudy Hawaiian shirts first. Maybe he’d even find some Vegas wedding appropriate ones.
He wouldn’t leave his wingman hanging.
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straywrds · 1 year
Text
honeyed milk (part one of the taste of honey)
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pairing: young aristocrat!hyunjin x (afab) reader | wordcount: 22k | genre: 19th century au, arranged marriage to lovers, slowest burn, smut, romance | warnings: angst ; tsundere elements ; virgin reader ; feelings are requited but characters are being complicated about it ; view all compiled warnings here. This work is for adult audiences only. This work portrays themes & actions that might trigger some, reader discretion is advised. **not written with the intention or desire to be historically accurate.
You were sweet too, too sweet for him—he was bitter, and sweet didn’t cancel out bitter, didn’t make it any more palatable. It just made it worse. 
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“What does that mean, mom?” Hyunjin motioned at the words on the plaque resting next to his portrait. This past summer, the artist had spent a lot of time depicting the young boy posing on a bench out in the flower garden. The warm months were long gone, now—the days had grown short and cool, but Hyunjin smiled at the bright sun and colorful flowers on the painting. 
The portrait had been framed, however, unlike other commissioned portraits in the past, it hadn’t been hung on the walls of the Hwang manor. It rested upright in a wooden crate that had yet to be closed off. 
His mother crouched, taking Hyunjin’s small face in her delicate hands. She was beautiful, his mother—everybody in the city said so. Hyunjin knew this about his parents: they were rich and important. His father owned a textile factory and a lot of land, which he liked to visit with his only son once in a while, reminding him of what would be his one day. He was also involved in politics, but Hyunjin wasn’t too interested in that. His mother was somebody’s daughter—somebody even more important than his dad was. 
But to Hyunjin, she was just his mom. Her fingers were always cool to the touch and she liked to run them through his thick hair. He was loved and he knew it.  
“Do you recognize any of the words, my son?” she asked him, turning his head towards the sign where the words were engraved on wood in gold-plated elegant letters.  
The boy put his tiny index finger on the letters that formed his name. “Hwang Hyunjin.” He grinned, proud to be showing off his reading skills. “And that’s dad’s name,” he added, “and that’s yours.” He faced his mother again and she kissed his cheek as softly as she spoke to him. 
The smile his mother offered Hyunjin was bittersweet—and more bitter than sweet—however, he was too little to understand that. 
“I suppose it’s about time I tell you about our country’s tradition, my son. God knows your father wanted to tell you the very moment you were born…” She sighed, pulling herself back up. “Do you remember two summers ago, when your father left for a long time?”  
Hyunjin thought about it. Two years was so long ago—he wasn’t a baby anymore. But he did remember that his dad had been away for most of the summer. He had spent a lot of time in the garden with his mom, surrounded by flowers and bumblebees. “I remember,” he said with a firm nod. 
His mother’s hand rested on Hyunjin’s cushiony cheek. Her lips, painted red, quivered for a few instants before she went on. 
 “People like us, Hyunjin…” She sighed, shaking her head, her long, dark hair moving with her like waves in water. “We can’t choose who we will marry.” 
 Hyunjin frowned, staring at his mom for a while before glimpsing at his portrait in the crate again. “You don’t love dad?”  
 That trembling of the lips again. “I do love him, Hyunjin. But I was promised to him when I was born, and him to me. It is how it must be for people like us.”  
 “People like us,” the boy echoed pensively. People who had gardens with pretty flowers in them? People who went on vacation to the sea sometimes? People who had soft, dark hair? They often said about Hyunjin that he had his mother’s hair and his father’s eyes. “So that means…” 
 “We are sending out this portrait to the family of the girl you are promised to, my boy.” His mother crouched again, pulling him closer. “That is where your father was two years ago. Her family lives across the country and he went there to supervise her birth.”  
 Hyunjin stared into his mother’s eyes. Two big pools of night, glistening with tears. She smiled to conceal them, and to Hyunjin, they just looked like happy tears.  
 “You’ll marry this girl someday, and we are sending her family a portrait of you.” His mother pulled him into a warm embrace. She smelled like the flowers she so often tended to. “You’re a sweet boy, Hyunjin. You don’t have to understand everything I just told you, alright?” 
 He wrapped his small arms around her and nodded against his mother’s shoulder. “Okay, mom.” 
His mother took him to her room and, together, they wrote a note to attach to the painting.  
 “Maybe I should do that every year, mom. Write to her for her birthday! Do you think she’d like that?” Hyunjin asked, eager to make a new friend.  
 His mother’s cool fingers found the back of his neck as he signed the note with careful strokes of ink. “I’m sure she would, son. She might even write back on your birthday.” 
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( 20 years later ) 
   Hyunjin,  
Happy birthday to you. I send my warmest wishes, of course, and health. February was harsh on our city and I hope it was easier on yours.  
I read your last letter with a smile on my face, and I appreciated the gift you sent along with it. I wear the gloves every day when I go out on my walk. How soft they are, and how they keep me warm… I think of you during my walks now, wondering how you are spending your winter days. Thank you, Hyunjin. In return, I am sending a little something as well. It may not be much, but I hope it will bring some warmth into your heart as you did to me. I worked hard all summer to harvest it.  
It’s snowing… Isn’t snow so beautiful? To me, the snowflakes look like small diamonds falling from the sky.  
Have you ever noticed how, in the quiet of the night, snow makes noise as it falls? It couldn’t quite describe it… Like the dusting of beautiful crystals onto the world, I suppose. But, to me, it’s better than silence. I like to just stand under it and listen to it. Perhaps I will do that after I write this letter. I shall wear the gloves you’ve sent me, Hyunjin. They will protect me from frostbite.  
 Did you get a feast for your birthday? I certainly did… Which was expected, since I became of age and it was a special occasion… but I wonder, do you still get big birthday parties with a lot of guests, Hyunjin? I am afraid that our birthdays will no longer matter soon. Isn’t growing up a little scary, yet, thrilling?  
I shouldn’t keep you busy for much longer. I know you are a busy man. I hope business has been good.  
I will see you in the spring, Hyunjin.  
I have been looking forward to this day from the moment I turned two years old.  
Happy birthday,   stay warm. 
 Much love, y/n 
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“Changbin?” Hyunjin sighed, your letter still in his hands. “Was there something time-sensitive in that letter that needed my immediate attention?”  
 Changbin, busy restocking with wood the stove in the adjacent room—Hyunjin’s bedroom—appeared in the door frame.
“Sir?”  Hyunjin sighed again, shaking his head at his steward. He rose from his chair and walked away from his sturdy wooden desk. It was a different one than his father’s—that old one, he had burned to ashes himself a long time ago, hoping it would dull his anger. It had not worked, but at least he never had to see that damn desk again.  
“I am busy—do I really need to remind you of the urgent work I have to do? Mr. Kim Seungmin is waiting for my letter. That is urgent.” 
As if to prove his point, Hyunjin let go of the delicate sheets of paper that constituted the letter you wrote him and grabbed his unfinished correspondence with the Viscount, showing the blank pages to his faithful steward.  
 “Hyunjin—” Changbin entered the room with a concerned look on his face. There were no ‘sirs’ or ‘lords’ between them as Changbin had been a part of Hyunjin’s life for the past several years, and was as much his friend as his attendant. More the former than the latter, even. “You’re marrying her in two months.”  
Hyunjin groaned audibly and let go of the letters to make his way to the small cabinet where he kept his wine. Changbin joined him, offering to pour his glass, but Hyunjin paid him no mind. As if he was unable to pour himself a glass of— 
 “DAMMIT!” In his angry state, Hyunjin had spilled a considerable amount of wine on the cabinet as well as on the floorboards.  
 “Go change, I’ll handle it.” Changbin’s voice left no space for arguing. “Come back when you’re cleaned up, Hyunjin. We’ll have to talk about it at some point.” 
Talk about what? Hyunjin wanted to retort. He also wanted to shove Changbin into the wall or give a solid kick into the large window of his study. Instead, the young man crossed the room and entered his bedchamber. He heard Changbin go about in the other room, as well as hushed whispers—no doubt the maids, once again, would have funny stories to tell the others about the owner of the estate, about Hyunjin. The Orphan.  
That is what they called him—the people of this city, his own staff. They never said it to his face, of course, they had the decency to remain polite in his presence. Or maybe they were just frightened by him, by the reputation that surrounded him. That he was just like his father, a cruel, heartless man.  
That he would end up just like him, too. 
When Hyunjin was twelve years old, it was made public that his father had been involved in extramarital relations with several women, most of which were married to various prominent men in the region. It had brought not just a cloud, but a whole storm of dishonor onto the family… And Hyunjin prayed every night for the shame to dissipate. Every night, instead of sleeping, eyes on the high ceiling of his bedroom, he used to beg for his family to be fixed. To be unbroken.  
His prayers had been heard—one night, after returning from a business trip, his father had been ambushed by a group of men and killed. Even at that age, Hyunjin had understood quite clearly that it was one of the cuckolded husbands—or even several of them—that had his father killed. That had killed him themselves maybe, even. 
Hyunjin never found it within himself to miss him. Not as he was witnessing his mother turning into a ghost, into a wilting flower.  
 Her fingers had always been cool to the touch, except for when she caught that fever. The women around her, his mother’s caretakers, used to say that it was shame and heartbreak that had allowed her body to become so ill. Hyunjin refused to let them bury her with his father at the family’s mausoleum—instead, he had her buried right here on the estate, under the large magnolia tree right by her garden.  
 Hyunjin took his face in his hands with a long sigh. They said he was just like his father, and maybe that was true. Maybe he had rage inside of him, other things, too. But he did not fuck the women from around here—he waited until he was away for business to do so, and made sure they weren’t married. At least, for that, he was unlike his father.  
 It only took a few moments before the mess was cleaned up. “Would you like a bath?” Changbin’s voice asked from the study. “The hot water is ready.”  
 Hyunjin, in the middle of taking off his wine-stained trousers, only offered a half-hearted mumble as a reply. His mind was elsewhere—he truly needed to give Kim Seungmin a response as soon as possible. He wanted to get out of town and fuck a few women. He wanted Changbin to leave him alone. He wanted to read your letter again.  
 Changbin entered Hyunjin’s bedchamber without any hesitation or reserve—he had seen him in worse condition and with less clothing, too. He barely spared him a glance before making himself busy in the washroom. When he heard the running water—one of the many luxuries of the estate—Hyunjin felt a little relieved to know he would be warm for a few moments, at least.  
 The steward reappeared and leaned against the dark wood of the door frame. He had pulled up the sleeves of his white shirt and was smoothing the dark gray fabric of his vest. Changbin was a good man—married, with two beautiful children, and a lovely wife. His family lived here with him. They had become his family, too—with them around, Hyunjin felt a little less like The Orphan, and a bit more like Hyunjin. Changbin’s wife was a remarkable seamstress and she was in charge of the estate’s wardrobes.  
 “We still need to talk about it,” Changbin told him, crossing his arms over his big chest. “Hyunjin. Look at me.”  
 Hyunjin kicked his trousers and undergarments off his ankles. If Changbin hadn’t been there he would have left them on the floor, but today he picked them up and put them on the chair in the corner of the room just so his Head Steward wouldn't berate him for that in particular. 
 “Look at me,” Changbin repeated, his voice a little louder. And Hyunjin knew his voice could get a whole lot louder, so he, reluctantly, turned to his friend. 
 “There’s nothing to say.” Hyunjin’s voice was low and dark, as dark as the room was—only one oil lamp was shining in the darkness, but it was more than enough to see the criticism on Changbin’s face. “I know. I’m getting married in two months.”  
 “You don’t want to.” 
“I don’t want to.” Hyunjin unbuttoned his white cotton shirt, unbothered by Changbin’s presence as he undressed. “It will happen regardless, so there is nothing to talk about. Can I bathe, now?” 
Changbin looked behind him to check on the water levels in the tub. “Not quite.” He sighed, busying himself with adding more lighting with a few candles, as well as the wall lantern in and outside of the washroom.  
“Hyunjin, you’ll make the poor girl miserable if you keep sinking into your own dark sentiments.”  
 “I’ll make her miserable anyway.” Hyunjin went into the washroom and decided the tub was filled enough to his taste. “She’ll be my wife, that’s the beginning of her curse.”  
 When Changbin came back, he was holding the gift you had sent him for his birthday. There had been no event—Hyunjin cared very little for his own birthday, after all, and hadn’t celebrated it since losing his mother. But despite all that, year after year, you wrote him a letter for his birthday, and he one for yours.  
 At first glance, the gift was modest—a jar made of clay with a simple but elegant ornate design around it. The handle on the lid was shaped like a bee and painted accurately, too. The true gift, however, was inside the jar. Honey from the south, honey that your bees had made and that you had harvested. Your bees, as in, you were in charge of your home’s apiary, despite your mother’s strict disapproval of it.  
‘She says it isn’t very ladylike of me,’ you had written that year in your letter. ‘But I like them, their buzzing soothes me, and the honey is sweet, sweet, sweet.’ 
 You were sweet too, too sweet for him—he was bitter, and sweet didn’t cancel out bitter, didn’t make it any more palatable. It just made it worse. 
 “You received the gift last week,” Changbin pointed out. “It took you all this time to even read the letter and you only did so because I made you. Have you even tasted it?” 
“No.” It was the truth. Hyunjin was many things but he was not a liar. “Leave me, Changbin.” 
Changbin left the small sand-colored jar by the sink. “If you keep wallowing in self-pity, you’ll be just like him. Man up. In two months, there’ll be a lady, your lady, in this manor. I swear to god, if you mistreat her…” 
“I won’t mistreat her.” In the silence of the room, Hyunjin’s quiet voice was deafening. “I won’t be like him. I’m… I’m not like that because I hate her, or because I don’t want to marry her, Changbin.” 
“I know.” Changbin motioned at the jar. “Taste it. It’s delicious. If you don’t eat it, I’ll give it to my family. I bet Hi-ra and the kids will love it.”  
Changbin walked away, closing all the doors behind him, and leaving him alone. Hyunjin made his way to the sink where the jar was resting and took it in his long fingers, pulling the lid off. The room was lit up now and he could see the thick, amber liquid in it. The honey you had harvested. You, his beekeeper bride. The one that had been promised to him while she was still in her mother’s womb, based on the fact that his father had money and land. Based on the fact that your father wanted the power it would give him when you would be Lady Hwang.  
Hyunjin dipped his finger in the jar. Steam had filled the room, warming him up already. He parted his lips to run his finger on his tongue, closing his lips around it to suck in more of the flavor. Sweet. Sickly sweet. The honey tasted like summer, like flowers, like love. Not that he had any idea what love tasted like, though. 
He had often thought about you, at work, with your bees. Or you chatting with your sisters, watching boys, doing some embroidery. One year, you had sent him a beautiful silk handkerchief on which you had embroidered his initials as well as a small magnolia flower.  
He still had that. The handkerchief. He kept it in his bedside drawer just to look at it sometimes. Sweet, sweet, sweet. You probably tasted just as sweet as this honey, too.  
Hyunjin went for seconds, gathering honey on his finger to eat more of it. The sugary and floral flavor filled his mouth as his eyes fell on the mirror in front of him. He barely recognized himself these days. His black hair almost reached his shoulders but it was often disheveled and dull. He had dark circles under his piercing eyes, being stuck in an endless cycle of fatigue and insomnia.  
His thoughts often wandered to you when he couldn’t find sleep, wondering what kind of woman you were and what kind of wife you would be. Hyunjin did not want to get married, did not want the Hwang name to carry on. However, in two months, you would be his wife. And he knew what was expected of him. Of you. Of this union. After all, it was why you had been promised to him—to bring his children into the world. 
Hyunjin had decided long ago that he would never fuck you. People told tales of his beautiful bride-to-be from the south, of her voice like a melody, her kind smile, her radiant beauty. But he had decided long ago that he would never fuck you, never even risk putting a child in you.  
On his tongue, the honey reminded him of the gentleness of your letters, the thoughtful gifts you sent him year after year.  
Your handwriting was delicate, clean, pretty.   The honey was sweet, sweet, sweet.  Was your mouth as sweet as that?   Your cunt?  
 Hyunjin licked the thick honey off his lips and closed the lid on the jar before returning his gaze to the mirror. His open shirt only revealed his lack of appetite in the past months. He was skinny, sickly looking, pale. His lack of clothes only revealed that his cock was coming alive at the mere thought of you, even though he had never even laid eyes on you.  
He released a good amount of honey-laced spit into his palm before taking himself in his hand, tugging gently on his hardening length. He wouldn’t fuck you—he couldn’t risk it. He also wouldn’t fuck anyone else and would stop his visits to courtesans on his business trips—he could not make the same mistakes his father had done. He could not.  
His soft-hearted bride. Hyunjin whimpered at the thought of him hitching up your skirts and stuffing your virgin cunt with his cock right by your apiary. Let the bees smell the sweet scent of your wet pussy, let the bees smell your pheromones. Your hair tangled up with flower petals and dirt in it. Your legs wide open for him, taking him in your sweet hole, prettier than a summer day. 
Fully hard at that point, he stroked himself a little faster, imagining your flushed cheeks as he pounded into you, claiming you, making you his. His wife. Lady Hwang. How tight must your cunt be, how warm, snug around his cock.  
Hyunjin watched the movement of his wrist in the mirror, observing the way it looked when he squeezed himself. He was leaking already, throbbing beneath his palm. He squeezed harder, making himself moan and gasp. Would you clench like this around him? Would you beg him for more? 
His pretty bride-to-be. His virgin beekeeper.  
Hyunjin could feel the pressure rising in his guts, eyes rolling at the back of his head, imagining the wet sounds it would create if he fucked his own cum deeper inside you. He pumped himself harder, lulled by the hot steam in the room and the sweet taste on his tongue. He imagined his lips were sticky with your juices instead of honey, imagined your pretty breasts bouncing as you writhed your pretty body on his bed, giving in to him, imagined your voice filling the room with pretty moans, imagined your pretty cunt stuffed with his cum.  
Hyunjin anchored himself to the large sink with his free hand, chasing his release, feeling it rising in his gut. He fucked his hand harder, overcome by the thought of you. His knees went weak when he came and he spilled himself on the porcelain, making a mess with his thick cum. His orgasm lasted longer than he thought it would, leaving him panting with pearls of sweat rolling down his face.  
He cleaned up his shame on the sink, then Hyunjin lowered himself into the large tub of his washroom. But even the hot water and the foam of the soap did not wash the shame off him.  
He had nothing to offer. No title, no glory, no honor, only a last name that was more like a stain than an asset. And yet, your father, cruel and greedy, still meant to send you here to marry Hyunjin and he was just supposed to play along as if it was fine, he was still meant to drag you into his curse of a life. And for what? So that you could roam the halls of the manor, wishing it was someone else’s name you had taken? So that your father could harbor the hope that his grandchildren would one day own this land, the factory, this dishonor?  
The hot water did not soothe his ache. Hyunjin’s lips were still sweet from your honey.  
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 “Straighten those shoulders and put a smile on that mouth of yours!”  
You rolled your eyes and made a face, profoundly annoyed by the fact that your mother saw fit to treat you like a child no matter how old you were.  
“We’re not even there yet, mother,” you told her.  
“I see the estate!” she retorted, entirely too agitated for the confined space of the carriage. “Your future is waiting for you beyond these gates, young woman.”  
There has been very little room for future planning in your life. When you turned two years old, a beautiful portrait had been delivered to your family’s villa—on it was a young boy with soft, dark locks and a playful smile. He was sitting on a bench outside, surrounded by bushes of flowers and lush foliage. In the painting, bees were collecting pollen from the roses and the daisies. They were painted with detail—you could see the specks of golden dust sticking to their bodies and tiny legs. The boy was painted with detail too, with a beauty mark under his eye and full pink lips.  
This boy was Hwang Hyunjin, the one you had been promised to when you were born. He was the heir to a large estate, a textile factory, and a lot of land. He wrote you letters every year for your birthday, and you always wrote back for his a few months later. You had always known that once you became of age, you would be sent here to become his wife, to become Lady Hwang.  
There had been very little room for hope regarding your future, so you learned to enjoy the present moment. Fascinated by bees since the very moment you had laid eyes on that portrait, you had requested the villa be equipped with an apiary. As a child, you would sneak out and sit by, just watching the beekeeper at work. Later on, you assisted him. You enjoyed hiking in the trails surrounding the villa, swimming in the sea, and singing. They said that your voice was just as sweet as the honey your bees produced.  
You looked around, noticing a change in the scenery outside.  
“We’re here,” your mother said. It was just the two of you. Your father rode in another carriage at the front with your older brother. Your two eldest sisters didn’t make the trip—one was heavily pregnant and the other had just given birth. “Remember what we talked about?” 
Your mother had told you a lot of things. One day, you had heard about what Hyunjin’s father had done… what had happened to his mother afterward. That year, you simply didn’t know what to write in his letter, but you managed to find a few words that you were hoping were comforting.  
 But the rumors had started from that point on. Apparently, the events had turned him into a vile, cold man, turned spiteful by the shame his father brought on their last name.  
 But this was not the version of Hyunjin that you knew. How could he be cruel if, every summer, he was in awe of the different shades of green on the trees, the leaves, the spruces and the firs surrounding his manor, if he worried about the well-being of his employees, if he was best friends with the steward of his estate?  
How could he be cruel if, year after year, he spoke at great lengths and with emotion of the magnolia tree in his late mother’s garden?
“I remember.” You smoothed the fabric of your skirts while your mother made sure your hair was in order. “Don’t worry, mother.”  
 Except you were worried—what if Hyunjin didn’t like you? What if he found you repulsive, what if it made him miserable to think about marrying you? After all, you were simply the last born in a family that happened to be very distant relatives to the man sitting on the throne… to you, it was nothing. And to Hyunjin who owned all this land, whose aunt was a duchess… You were nothing, too. Less than that. Just the body behind the letters he received every year for his birthday.  
You had been promised to him, but what if he desired something else?  
It was not him that welcomed you and your family into his home, but his steward. 
“Seo Changbin, at your service, my lady.” He offered you a smile and an exaggerated bow. “Mr. Hwang is quite busy—an unexpected breakage at the factory—but he will be home for dinner.” 
“Business before anything else,” your father commented with a nod. “I respect that. I’d like to be shown my bedchamber if that’s alright. We’ve been traveling for days.”  
“Of course.” Changbin dipped his head at your father but turned to you immediately. “My lady, I am sure you are in great need of rest too, but I’m afraid it’ll have to wait. My wife—the estate’s seamstress—is waiting for you in her sewing room. For your gown.” 
You blinked, barely able to process everything you were seeing. You knew Hyunjin was rich—your father had told you all about it since you were a child. How happy he was that his grandchildren would own all that land, all those assets. To him, the rumor regarding the Hwangs mattered very little.  
But you had never realized that Hyunjin would be that rich. The manor was huge, the grounds surrounding it so vast you weren’t sure where they stopped. Or if they stopped.  
The ceilings were high and decorated with beautiful and intricate patterns. The floors were dark, made of some exotic kind of wood, perfectly waxed. Draperies, paintings, ornate sconces, fireplaces, and stoves… Furniture that surely belonged in a king’s chamber…  
By the time you set your eyes on Changbin again, you were feeling lightheaded.  
“Should I get some broth sent to you in the sewing room?” He asked you gently, cocking his head to the side, giving you an appraising look. “You are a little pale, my lady.” 
“Broth is perfect, thank you,” your mother responded and, for once, you were glad she spoke in your place. 
You were staring out at the large window on the opposite side of the hallway—it had a view of the Hwangs’ lush flower garden. Even from here, you saw them, the daisies, the roses. The chrysanthemums, the peonies. The magnolia tree.  
 This—this place, the garden, your promised future—was too much. Or maybe you just weren’t enough.  
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 Ha-ri was a beautiful, angelic-looking woman—the thing was that she had the personality to match it, too, and eyes that looked like flowers when the sun hit them. She was as pretty as her smile, and you found comfort in the fact that she was closer to your age than you had expected. Every fiber of her being irradiated kindness. 
 “You’ll be the most dashing, gorgeous bride in the area, I promise you that,” the seamstress told you as she was walking around you, taking measurements and comparing fabric colors. Your bowl of broth was full and turned cold on the table—there was no time for that, according to your mother. “All of the other girls will envy you.” 
 “I don’t want them to envy me.” You sighed, turning your gaze at the window, unable to look away from the garden for more than a few minutes at a time. Your soul ached to be out there, under the May sun, inhaling all the scents from the flowers, feeling the soft leaves on your fingertips. “I’d rather they want to be my friend instead.” 
Loneliness. Something you had never had. Something that had always been within you. You had grown up surrounded by your family, the maids, and your sisters. But friends… true friends… You didn’t think you ever had even one of those. Someone you could show your true colors to and who wouldn’t turn their back on you when you did so. Someone whose presence would be enough to soothe you. 
That was why you had picked up beekeeping. Your bees had been like friends to you. And you missed them already—you had given your colony away last summer in preparation for your departure. You couldn’t just… leave them, couldn’t bear that thought. So you had found a nice homestead that already had an apiary and a gentle beekeeper to take care of them. You often wondered how they were holding up.  
You heard Ha-ri sigh so you looked down. She had paused her frenetic work, staring at you from below, her expression unreadable. “Actually, that isn’t a bad idea…” She suddenly returned to her fabric samples and put away several of them. To you, they all looked like white squares. “Lord Hwang could certainly use the help… you could put in a good word for him with the wives,” Ha-ri continued, but you could barely keep up with her quick mind. “In any case, I think ivory silk is the way to go, with lace of course.”  
Your measurements had been forwarded to the Hwang estate a while ago and some parts of the dress had been made before your arrival—the bodice and the petticoat, it seemed. For the rest, Ha-ri had said, the bride needed to be there.  
“What do you mean?” you asked the seamstress who was taking precise measurements of your waist. “That he could use the help? Mr. Hwang?”  
You couldn’t not see the concerned glance Ha-ri gave you, no matter how hard she tried to conceal it. “He doesn’t have friends, you see. Except for my sweet husband.” 
You thought about it, your gaze returning to the oaks, the pines, the roses, the morning glories, the marigolds. You loved marigolds—they looked like little suns. Your bees used to love them, too.  
“I’m sure you’ve heard all about the rumors, my lady?” Ha-ri took a few notes on a piece of paper and returned to her work, fumbling in a crate full of fabric samples. “About sir?”  
You gulped, your eyes trailing to the magnolia tree. Just beneath it laid a modest but beautiful tombstone—Hyunjin’s mother, the former Lady Hwang. Soon, that title would be yours. “They say life made him harsh. They say he is resentful, that he likes women a great deal, that he cares too little and too much about business at once, they say he is just like his father.” You paused, noticing at the window two hares making a run for it, crossing the parcel of grass between two sections of the large backyard. “I just think Lord Hwang is wounded, and that he hasn’t let the injury heal because he got accustomed to the pain, the darkness of it. And so it festered.” Your eyes met Ha-ri’s. “Is that why he needs a friendly-looking bride, Ha-ri?”  
The seamstress clicked her tongue, crossing her arms over her chest. “You’re a clever one, seems like.” She resumed her comparisons of various fabrics and materials while explaining in great detail the politics between the families of the area—the husbands, the businesses, the wives you could potentially befriend. Ha-ri was a lovely woman and you were hoping she would want to be your friend… And, her sewing room was cozy—it felt strangely like home, although the decor had nothing to do with the seaside villa you had grown up in. The view she had— 
Ha-ri kept talking, her voice pleasant and friendly, but you weren’t listening anymore. You were vaguely aware that she was now explaining the brotherly relationship between Hyunjin and a certain Lord Christopher but once again, movement in the garden had caught your attention—except, this time, it wasn’t the hares, it was a man. Tall, black hair that reached his shoulders… He wore dark clothes and walked confidently but slowly, letting his hand graze the flowers on his way. You couldn’t make out his face, not from here, but he had broad shoulders and held himself straight. 
Your voice spilled out of your lips, sounding a lot weaker than you thought it would. “Is that him?”  
 For a few seconds, Ha-ri didn’t seem to understand your question—she paused her thorough presentation and stared at you quizzingly before her gaze followed yours. She made her way closer to the window, but you didn’t need to. From up there on the stool, you watched the mysterious man make a left on the rocky path in the garden and disappear behind the bushes.  
 Your heart picked up a significant pace, so much that you pressed a hand on your chest to calm it down. 
 “Yes, my lady.” The seamstress turned to you, but you couldn’t read her expression. “That is Lord Hwang.”  
 “I thought he was busy with work today.” You tried to disguise the trembling of your voice by adding a pinch of annoyance to it, but you didn’t fool Ha-ri. 
 “And by the shade of your ears, my lady, it was better this way.” Still, Ha-ri smiled at you softly, helping you down the stool and guiding you gently towards the window while you touched your ears—they were as hot as your cheeks, and you could only imagine how flustered you looked. “Our lord is busy, of course,” she told you, “but you said it yourself—he is also wounded.”  
 Lord Hwang had reappeared in the window’s viewing range—he was sitting on a bench, not far from his dead mother’s resting place. His head was lowered and he was either praying or deep in his thoughts.  
 “Every day, he sits there for a while,” Ha-ri told you in a whisper. “How lonely he must be.”  
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You were exhausted by the time you had to meet your future husband and have dinner with him and a few of his important acquaintances. After the fitting for your wedding gown, you had been brought to another wing of the manor to be explained in great length the program for the wedding day, as well as to be given an introduction talk about different prominent guests. However, thanks to Ha-ri, you were already familiar with most of them. 
Lord Hwang wasn’t present when you entered the dining room flanked by your parents and preceded by your brother. You never had a good relationship with him, your brother, he liked to make fun of you most of the time and only came here to acquire contacts for his bank. Still, you knew he would make a good impression on the people here. Lord Hwang wasn’t there, but Lord Christopher Bang was, and Changbin quickly gave the introductions when he approached you. 
 “Aaah, isn’t our Hyunjin so lucky to have such a delightful bride-to-be?” Christopher told his wife, a woman so beautiful you could barely hold her gaze. You knew that Christopher was a little older than Hyunjin and that he had actually taken over the estate momentarily after Hyunjin’s parents had passed—until Lord Hwang had turned sixteen years old. This, you didn’t need Ha-ri or anyone else to tell you. Hyunjin had told you all about it in the letters he sent you. 
The couple flashed a warm smile at you and Lady Bang took your gloved hand in hers. 
“Your gown is pretty, my lady.” She squeezed your hand with—and you were sure of it—compassion. She knew. She knew that your heart was stuck in your throat, threatening to spill out if you opened your mouth to speak more than a few words at a time. She knew that beneath your turquoise evening gown, your legs were trembling, she knew that the tight braids in your hair pulled on your scalp painfully. She knew why your eyes kept turning to the double doors, in fear, in excitement. “But your smile is prettier.”  
You hoped the powder on your face would conceal at least a little of the blush that appeared on your cheeks. “I have read much about you, my lord, my lady,” you said, dipping your head low. Lord Hwang spoke highly of you in our correspondence.”  
“Ah, he better! have” Lord Christopher’s voice was full of warmth, and kindness, too. Still, he turned to your brother. “I hear you, sir, are a banker—I was hoping…”  
And they both disappeared to have a drink in one of the corners of the large room. The candles and lanterns offered decent lighting and you were able to notice the ornamental moldings, black-and-gold upholstery, fancy paintings on the walls and everything in between. The wooden ceiling had floral patterns engraved in it and, under the shimmering lights of the candles, it almost looked like it was moving under a soft breeze. 
Or maybe you were simply lightheaded. You couldn’t remember the last time you had a proper meal or night of sleep.  
This was a small dinner—apparently at Hyunjin’s request. Except for Lord Christopher and his wife, only the estate’s doctor, the church’s reverend, and Mr. Changbin would join the group. He may have been Head Steward, but it was a little unusual for Changbin to be present at this dinner. Still, you welcomed his friendly presence. And he was much more interesting to talk to than the doctor, a man who seemed too old to still be at work, and who stared at you as if you had done something terribly wrong.  
Lady Bang had put a glass of wine in your hand and was now making sure you were up to date with the district’s gossip—apparently, not everything was going so well at the Baron’s household—when you heard the heavy double doors being opened in your back.  
You came so close to dropping your wine that you gasped, hoping nobody had heard that. Lord Christopher’s wife took the glass away from you as quickly as she had given it to you and gave you an encouraging nod. As you turned around to face the doors and the newcomer in the room, you caught sight of your parents coming to join you, standing on either side of you again.  
Wounded. You had been right about it. Sorrow was written all over Lord Hyunjin’s face as he was welcomed into the room by his faithful steward. Changbin was speaking to him, and so were the old doctor and Lord Christopher, but Hyunjin wasn’t paying them even an ounce of attention—he was staring right at you. 
Black trousers, loose, white shirt, white cloak over his broad shoulders, his dark hair half tied at the back of his head by a white ribbon…  
Hyunjin looked like a prince. And, you had seen a real prince once, so you knew what you were talking about. That prince had been average-looking, though. Hyunjin was… 
 Tall, sullen, handsome, entrancing. You had received a good education but you seemed to be running out of words to describe him. He nodded at something that his steward told him and walked around the large table to come and meet you—it seemed that both your parents were too stunned to move, too.  
 Changbin began the formal introductions but you weren’t even listening to him. You should be bowing, bow, bow, now, you berated yourself, your heart racing in your chest. But as Hyunjin had come closer, he had only appeared more beautiful and you couldn’t look away. Dark, intelligent eyes, skin the color of goldenrod honey and smoother than your finest silk. His lips. Full, dark pink, a mouth that could corrupt anyone no matter how strong they thought their morals were. He looked like he came from one of the books your mother used to read you when you were little. He looked like the kind of man you had been warned against. 
 You did bow—just so you didn’t have to gape at him anymore. Staring at Hyunjin reminded you of the time your family went on a vacation and your brother lured you up on a cliff to scare you. Staring at Hyunjin felt exactly the same as if you were staring down a precipice deep enough that one wrong footstep would cause your death.  
“Get up.” Hyunjin spoke to you with a voice that was kind and humble but commanding. With a voice that was as silky as his hair, as alluring as the rest of him. “Please, get up.”  
So you did. You managed to stand upright again but didn’t manage to look him in the eyes. Hyunjin stood tall before you, and he, too, was avoiding your gaze.  
“I welcome you into my home,” You noticed his shoes, how long his feet must be. Or rather you made yourself notice it—it seemed as if the world had come to a halt. It seemed as if it was just him in this room, and you weren't quite ready to look at his face again. “which is also your new home.”  
Words. Words, and gifts—for twenty years, Hyunjin, to you, had been words on pieces of paper. There were years where his letters would be several pages long and others only a quick note… It was the same for you—some years you were just more in demand elsewhere than others. You never took offense. You savored each and every word Hyunjin carefully wrote to you, reading his letters over and over again.   
His words, no matter what, had always been meaningful and kind. As you faced each other for the first time, you realized that his letters had been true to the colors of his soul.  
When your father went to respond, Hyunjin turned to him. “I’m certain that your daughter can answer for herself.” 
Many times, in your letters, you had mentioned how your parents did not seem to believe in your ability to exist in this world on your own without them telling you exactly what to do or say. You were hoping it came from a place of love—but deep down, you knew it came from their lack of faith in you. This, all of this, you heard in Hyunjin’s voice when he spoke to your father. He did so respectfully but also in a tone that reminded him that Hyunjin was the master of this household.  
“Thank you, my lord.” You dipped your head in respect and wasted no time carrying on with the pleasantries. “Your home is ravishing, the staff inhabiting it… all helpful, wonderful people. You’ve surrounded yourself well.” You tried to smile but you weren’t sure it quite looked like a smile, maybe somewhat more of a grimace. “We brought gifts, of course—some spice, a few horses, sea salt, fabrics from the south—” 
Hyunjin interrupted you mid-sentence but it didn’t come off as rude or ill-mannered, not to you at least. To you, it sounded like a friendly plea. “Did you bring honey, too? Your honey?” 
 Your honey.  
Warmth engulfed you—all of a sudden, you became nothing. Or you became everything, you couldn’t tell. 
 “Y—yes,” you managed, wishing you were outdoors in a cool breeze rather than in this stuffy room. “Yes, my lord, several jars—” 
“Please address me casually,” the young man said. “We’ve known each other for twenty years, that accounts for something, don’t you think? Now let’s eat. I hear you haven’t had one bite of food in all of your day.”  
You pretended you didn’t see the accusatory stares Hyunjin shot at your parents.  
The dinner went fine. The food was delicious. You sat a few seats away from Hyunjin—he sat with the doctor and your brother. He did not speak to you at all, instead, he spoke with the two men he sat by. He did not even look at you. The head steward mentioned he didn’t usually enjoy this type of dinner, but that you were pleasant company. With a smile, he added that Ha-ri was surely working hard on your dress. His and Lady Bang’s efforts to distract you were appreciated but didn’t quite work, and you often found yourself staring at Hyunjin, hoping to at least make eye contact with him. Just once. 
But, no. He spoke with the doctor. He spoke with your brother, and Lord Christopher, and Changbin. Later, after dessert, he stood in a corner with your parents and had a long conversation with them, the three of them speaking in low, discreet voices. You were certain they were discussing business—after all, there was a reason why your father had promised you away before you had even been born.  
 You watched the scene from across the room—at least, this time, Lady Bang didn’t even try to entertain you. She sat with you with an unmistakable look on her face and you knew that she thought the same thing as you. 
 After the expected formalities, Hyunjin had not even looked at you once.   He did not like you. 
What were you expecting? Dumb girl. Him and you? He was Lord Hwang and you were just… born into a family that had some money. You were nothing, and you had nothing, you had given away your bee colony— 
You felt Lady Bang tense up when the old doctor excused himself from your brother to make his way towards you. He dipped his ugly head politely and you returned the nicety, but observed him, reluctant to even talk to him. 
“It’s time, my lady.” He nodded to himself. “I’m afraid I’m getting too old to stay up late, so if you wouldn’t mind…” 
You gulped as the heads of everybody present in the room turned in your direction.
“Time for what?” But really, you knew. You had known this could happen, had known this was more than likely to happen. You had been promised to Hyunjin some time before your birth. What had been promised to the Hwangs was a healthy, educated young woman. 
A virgin.  
And someone—this sketchy doctor, apparently—needed to make sure that the promise had been fulfilled as expected. Your sisters had gone through the same thing and they had assured you it was nothing, that it didn’t hurt. And you knew that. You knew that a few fingers inside you didn’t hurt—you were well aware of that fact. But it was everything else that made you want to melt into a puddle and slide through the cracks of the floor. Every single soul in this room now knew that this old man was about to make you spread your legs for him and that he was about to slide his hand between your legs and push his fingers inside you until he felt your hymen. You knew how it felt because your mother had the same procedure done to you by your family’s doctor right before you left to come here. But at least, nobody had known about it at that time. 
“No.” For an instant, you wondered who had spoken. And then Hyunjin crossed the room, putting himself in between you and his doctor. If Hyunjin hadn’t smiled even once this evening, he also hadn’t raised his voice—and he didn’t need to. Whenever he spoke, he demanded to be heard, to be obeyed. “There’s no need for that, doctor.” 
 “But—” 
 “I fucking said,” and you could almost feel the warmth emanating from Hyunjin’s body from how close to you he was, from the serene wrath taking over him. You could smell him, too—he smelled like expensive, French cologne and like the cognac he had been drinking. “There’s no need for that. If you think I’m going to let you or anybody else touch her, then you’re a fool and I have no use for you in this home. If you stare at her for too long, I’ll make sure she’s the last thing your ugly, bloodshot eyes ever see before I pour hot wax in them myself. If you touch even one strand of her hair, I promise you fucker that you’ll lose that hand and whichever else body part of yours I see fit. Understood?” 
It was at that precise moment that you figured out the split, the dichotomy between Hyunjin and the one they called The Orphan. Hyunjin had written you heartfelt letters for twenty years and the other had just spewed out some of the most violent sentences you had heard in your whole life.  
But fuck—you would have been lying to yourself if you said you weren’t happy about Hyunjin preventing the procedure from being done. And you would also have been lying to yourself if you weren’t wondering how often that darker side of him would resurface. 
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Hyunjin jerked awake so violently that he almost slid down his bed. Had he really fallen asleep? The last thing he remembered was… The dinner. The guests, the cognac. Doctor Yun. 
 You. Your long lashes, your pretty mouth, your sweet voice and manners. Your laugh and your rosy cheeks. The furtive looks you shot at him, all evening, trying to get his attention. But you didn’t need to do anything to acquire it—all of it was yours already.  
His cock had twitched when he had seen you, you, in that colorful gown, your hair framing your perfect fucking face.  
‘So, what did you think of her?’ Changbin had asked casually after dinner, walking him back to his bedchamber. Maybe the steward had been right to do so—it had taken every ounce of will in Hyunjin’s body not to sneak into yours.  
 What did he think of you? 
That you were lovely. That you were kind, courteous, that his cock would look sublime in between your pretty lips. That he wanted to sit with you, just you, and talk all night and get to know you. He may have pretended to converse with your brother but he really was only paying attention to you and what you were saying. The way you looked when you bit into the food or when you listened to one of Christopher’s famed stories. What did he think of you? That you were interesting, intelligent, that he wanted to kiss your neck as he pushed himself into you, claiming you for good. That he wanted to grab your hand and drag you out of this awful dinner to take you on a walk around the lake. And you’d tell him all about your bees, and he’d tell you about the factory.  
 ‘I don’t know, Changbin.’ But his head was spinning and his cock was hard—the second the door had closed behind his steward, Hyunjin had pulled it out of his trousers to finally get some relief. He had spilled himself after just a few strokes and squeezes, making a mess on his pants before passing out in his bed.  
 It was still dark when Hyunjin woke up with a start but it was impossible to tell what time it was exactly. Still, he pushed himself out of bed to relieve his bladder and get out of his cum-stained trousers. A clean-up was in order, and he drank just as much water as he used to wash himself up. 
 But even after he had returned to his bed, Hyunjin did not sleep.  
So he did the same he always did when that happened—which was often—he lit up a small lantern and brought it with him as he made his way outside to the garden. Here, the night bugs sang their songs while the birds took their rest. Here, the air was pure, fresh, clean. Hyunjin inhaled the jasmines as he passed them. The roses, the sweet pea cluster growing by the fountain. Honeysuckle, primrose… 
Hyunjin took his usual route to reach the magnolia tree. From there, when he sat on the bench, he could faintly hear the creek farther down the hill, the soft sound of the leaves in the wind… During the day, he liked to listen to the sound of his household running. Changbin’s booming voice as he chased his children in the garden. The kitchen staff preparing the next meal. The horses neighing in the stables, the stable cats, everything… Those sounds filled the silence of his soul when needed. At night, it was quieter, but he still found peace here. Only here. 
Because it was quiet, Hyunjin heard the footsteps as clearly as he would have heard the song of a sparrow or a pile of porcelain dishes thrown on the floor. He stopped in his tracks, leaning against the brick wall near the paved path that ran along the garden, listening. He knew the people here, he always came here to listen, to hear, but he didn’t recognize the footsteps. He saw the amber light of a lantern… and you appeared after passing the corner, walking slowly, your hair loose on your shoulders. 
You screamed in surprise, clearly not expecting him, while he worked a great deal to suppress his own shock and appear as if he meant to be leaning against the wall, casually, just his regular nighttime routine. 
“My lord,” you managed after regaining your senses. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t…” 
As you were quickly trying to explain that you couldn’t sleep and thought that walking outdoors would help you, that you had seen Ha-ri in the manor and she had helped you find your way here, that you thought the garden was lovely, that you weren’t really sleepy but why are you here, Lord Hwang?   
Hyunjin. You always called him Hyunjin in your letters, so what the fuck had happened? You weren’t looking him in the eyes. Instead, you had adopted a polite posture, holding your small lamp by its handle with one hand while the other was trying to wrap your shawl around your body while you stared at your feet. You were wearing a loose, white cotton nightgown with intricate lace details on the bust area, as well as a pretty yellow ribbon. The cut was low enough that he caught a partial glimpse of your shoulder and a lot—too much—of your exposed skin. Your collarbones… 
 He only saw it for a second though before you covered yourself with the shawl. He also saw the round curve of your bare tits under the thin fabric and it sent tremors directly into his cock. Hyunjin could feel himself getting hard at the mere thought of your body, naked, under that nightgown. He bit his lip so hard that he tasted blood on his tongue, struggling to chase away the scenario that was playing in his mind. What if you pulled your skirt up just so he could smell your pussy? It was probably so pretty, as smooth as silk. What he’d give to see it glisten under the amber light of your lamps, what he’d give to fuck you right here, right now— 
“My lord?” You were looking at him now, with a concerned look on your face. You took a step closer, cocking your head to the side, probably trying to figure out what was wrong with him. “Hyunjin? Are you alright?”  
 Hyunjin. Say it again, he wanted to tell you. His name had never sounded like that in anyone else’s mouth before—maybe because he wasn’t used to hearing it. Or maybe because you were sweet and the words that spilled out of your pink lips were coated with honey.  
 “I’m alright, miss.” But his cock was throbbing in his trousers. But he couldn’t take his eyes off your mouth. “You shouldn’t be out here, not alone. It’s not safe for you.” 
 By the look on your face, Hyunjin knew you understood he wasn’t talking about wild animals. Your gaze dropped once more and you dipped your head low. “I apologize, my lord,” you said with a trembling voice. “Ha-ri told me she would keep an eye on me from her window. She’s working on the dress. I—I’m sorry, you are right. I shouldn’t be here, I’ll return to my bedchamber at once.”  
 You bowed before taking your leave. Hyunjin grunted, annoyed at your excessive manners. He couldn’t help but reach for you and gently push you back up. Under his hand, your shoulder felt so soft, so good—he imagined he was squeezing it while slamming into you, filling your pretty little cunt with his aching cock.  
So he did not squeeze it. When you stood upright again, even the dim light was enough to reveal the color on your cheeks.  
As pretty as a rose. Prettier, even. On cloudy days, Hyunjin liked watching raindrops roll on rose petals and he wondered if his cum would look similar on your face—or maybe he should cum in your throat, empty himself there and watch your soul leave your body as you choked on his thick cock.  
Instead, Hyunjin took a deep breath—mostly to try and appease whatever fire you had started in his abdomen, and gathered his thoughts while looking around. There was indeed light in Ha-ri’s sewing room window, and he suspected she might have been peeking at him before he turned around.  
“Or maybe it is safe,” Hyunjin decided to say, facing you again. “I think I scared Doctor Yun enough, and that my message was quite clear to have reached every living soul in this manor, don’t you think?”  
You stared at him, puzzled at first, until the corner of your mouth raised into a nervous smile. “Yes, my lord.” You nodded, your hair following the motions of your head. “Thank you. For… for that. For… for your trust.” 
“My trust?” 
“Yes, for trusting me.” Your cheeks darkened in color. To Hyunjin, it felt as if they would taste like sweet cherries if he licked them. “For not asking the doctor to… to look at me.”  
And have Yun touch your sweet cunt when he, Hyunjin, couldn’t even? Hell no. Yun would have enjoyed it a little too much. Hyunjin could imagine him smelling his fingers after pulling them out of you, maybe even daring to lick them…  
 Hyunjin cleared his throat, trying to chase away from his mind the image which was rapidly transforming into something else—it was him, Hyunjin, parting you open, stretching your virgin cunt with his fingers, watching you arch your back for him.  
 “Of course I trust you,” he said. “I like to think we are… friends.”  
You thought about it, and the smile on your face became wider and more sincere. “Friends it is, Lord Hyunjin. I like the sound of that a lot.” 
You offered him your hand to shake, which Hyunjin did. The contact of his skin against yours made him throb again—his erection strained painfully against the wool trousers he had quickly put on before heading out. He squeezed your small hand in his faintly before releasing it. 
“I thought I would be terrified of you,” you admit. “I… I am, but it’s much better here than it was in there, with all these people.”  
“We’re not supposed to be alone with one another without a chaperone,” Hyunjin reminded you. I could drag you behind this wall and fuck you so hard the whole manor would hear you scream my name. “But you have no reason to be terrified of me, do you?” 
The giggle that escaped your lips was so beautiful it reminded Hyunjin of a song he had heard at an event once, violins and harp coming together to create a harmony so delicate it had brought tears to his eyes. Except your giggle had another effect on him—he could feel his cock leaking in his pants and the pressure was distracting enough that he wasn’t sure he would be able to walk back to his bedroom before relieving himself again. It felt as if his balls had doubled his size.  
What the hell was wrong with him? You weren’t the first woman he had seen—he had fucked many courtesans before, but you seemed to have made his cock forget how to ever be soft. 
Had you been sent to him as a punishment? A succubus disguised as an angel, meant to torture him so he could pay the price of his father’s—and his own—mistakes?  
“I guess not, and I suppose you’re right… Mother would kill me if she knew I was here with you.” You shook your head, your laughter dying in a sigh so lovely that almost made Hyunjin tear up. Or cum. For a while, a comfortable silence fell between you two, and you walked side by side in the night. “Why couldn’t you sleep, my l— Hyunjin?”  
Hyunjin let the silence go on for a few more moments, unable to give you an answer. He couldn’t give you the truth, so he needed to come up with something. “There’s quite a lot on my plate—and yours—lately, isn’t there? I think, just like you, I needed a breath of fresh air.”  
You nodded and adjusted the shawl around you. Hyunjin watched from the corner of his eyes, hoping to catch a glimpse of your chest again, of the movement of your tits as you walked beside him. “Understandable. I’m sorry if the wedding comes at the wrong moment… I heard there were setbacks at the factory. We can postpone…”  
 Hyunjin had thought about it. The setbacks were minor, but he had been trying to find a good reason not to marry you.  
If it took all of his willpower not to touch you right now when it was strictly forbidden—what would it be like after the ceremony, when it would be expected of you to share his bed? 
 But why delay the inevitable?  
 “No, don’t worry at all, it’s quite alright. It’s not a rare occurrence, you know. The fact that I can’t sleep, I mean.” 
“I have a miracle cure for sleeplessness.” You turned to him, stopping in the middle of the path. “My aunt used to make it for me when I was little and I had nightmares… would you like to try?”  
“Try? A cure?” Hyunjin stared at you puzzled. “Is it medicine? A herbal brew?” 
You shrugged—the most adorable and elegant shrug Hyunjin had ever seen. “Sort of. Not really. But it works. Could I use the kitchen?” 
 “Why, yes.” You resumed your walk towards the manor. “I can have the cook brought in,” Hyunjin added. 
 “I don’t need help. I can make it myself.”  
 And so Hyunjin ended up in the kitchen with you. It was forbidden. If anyone saw the two of you together…  
But you didn’t seem to mind. You secured the shawl around your body with a knot and got to work. Hyunjin sat at the small table to conceal the visible bulge in his pants.  
You were turning your back to him, focused on the crates of goods you and your family had brought as gifts. You barely paid any attention to him as you showcased the items while you were waiting for the fire to heat up the stove. Pickled vegetables, grain, preserves… Marmalade made by your favorite cook back home. Spices and dried herbs, too—bay leaves, cinnamon, salt from the sea, pink peppercorns, clove, nutmeg…  
Several jars of honey.  
“The last of them,” you sighed. “I gave my colony away before coming here.” Hyunjin watched you take one of the jars and bring it by the stove, as well as one of the glass bottles containing spices. You then grabbed a saucepan and poured milk into it before putting it to warm up. 
“There are bees in the garden,” Hyunjin said, but his voice quivered when he shifted his weight on his seat because his sensitive cock rubbed against the fabric of his pants. You were so pretty in the candlelight, you looked like a dream. He wanted nothing more than to sit you down on this very table and watch his cock sink into you, watch how you take him. “Is this your miracle cure?” he asked. “Warm milk?”  
If you noticed anything, it didn’t show. You shot him a glance from over your shoulder and returned to stirring the milk on the stove using a large wooden spoon. Your white nightgown looked ethereal in this light, flowing with each of your movements. 
“Milk, honey, and a pinch of cinnamon.” You did look at him then, and from that angle, with your arm extended to hold the spoon, Hyunjin saw the bump of your tits and imagined them bouncing while he pounded into you. Could your cunt even take all of him? How long would he have to fuck you to stretch you up enough for his whole cock? He didn’t care. An hour, a week, didn’t matter. “I know there are bees in your garden, lord Hyunjin. Don’t you remember the portrait of you that your family sent to mine? You were just a boy then… Sitting amongst these huge flower bushes—all of them with pretty bees gathering pollen. I think it’s what made me so fascinated with bees, actually…” 
He gave you a noncommittal hum as a response. The more you spoke, the closer he was to blowing in his trousers. He wanted to feel your tight cunt all around him, he wanted to drown in you, feel your soft breasts against his chest, he wanted to breathe you in, wanted to make you cum so hard you went limp.  
 “Maybe I’ll sing to the bees,” you added, still not looking at him.  
 Hyunjin watched you as you stirred the milk and began singing a melody under your breath, your head moving with the rhythm of the song. You often mentioned your singing lessons in the letters you wrote him—you enjoyed them and enjoyed the act of singing, too.  
He remembered the letter from two years ago. A portion of it more specifically. 
 ‘I often sing to my bees… I know that’s rather silly. In fact, Hyunjin, I know it’s downright nonsensical, but I think they enjoy it! While I take care of them or harvest the honey… They are calmer when I sing. Ah, I should probably not tell you this. You’ll think you’re doomed to marry a brainless maiden… I’ll show you, though. You’ll believe me!  
In your next letter, you should tell me which songs are your favorite, so that I can learn them for you.’ 
 “What are you singing?” Hyunjin asked, but the sound of your sweet voice had made him cup himself over his pants. Instinctively. Impulsively—because it felt as if he couldn’t not. The ache between his thighs tugged at his insides so hard that it was difficult to keep breathing normally.  
“Can’t you tell?” You paused for an instant, glancing at him again just for a few seconds, half of your face covered by your hair.  
 You cleared your throat and, humbly facing away, you sang to him a song he knew very well. He had told you about it after you asked about the songs he liked. 
‘My favorite song, I think, is Down The Valley. I heard it a few years ago and it has haunted me. I found the message in it so poignant that I simply have not stopped thinking about it since. My lady, do you ever feel as if you’re trying to outrun a river, too?’ 
 That night, no matter how forbidden it was, you sang for him in the kitchen. 
 “There is a river and it runs, runs, runs,  faster than I can, but I try to catch up, oh, I try  And I run, run, run  so fast that my feet barely touch the grass,  so fast that I don’t see the collapsed pine  I fall, fall, fall down the valley…” 
 Hyunjin wanted to fuck your cunt, make it sloppy, wanted to fuck you until his cock turned sore. He wanted nothing more than to make you come undone while you sang to him with your pretty voice. Oh, how lovely your moans must be… 
You were too shy to look at him, and Hyunjin decided it was now or never. If he didn’t cum, he’d get up from this chair and take you against the wall like some sinful harlot.  
But why you?
Was he, Hwang Hyunjin, weak? Could he really not stand the sight of a young, beautiful woman? Or did it drive him crazy because he knew he’d never even get a taste of your cunt, let alone feel it envelop him, lull him into bliss?  
Hyunjin rubbed himself over his trousers. He had never been as hard as that in his life—he was sure of it.  
You continued singing while adding the honey to the warm milk on the stove. The room was immediately filled with a sweet, dairy scent and he was certain your pussy smelled just like that too. How badly Hyunjin wanted his cock to be coated in your cream…  
He rutted into his own hand as discreetly as he could, but your voice filled the room, laced with the pleasant smell of the sleep cure you were making, and he could barely keep his mouth closed. A few drops of sweat fell on the wood of the table he sat at and the chair creaked when he fucked his palm more eagerly.  
But you sang softly. If roses had a voice, it would sound like yours. 
 “... and only when did I stop running, could I see for the very first time the beauty,  the grandeur, the glory,  of this valley.  The little birds sing, sing, sing,  the butterflies fly, fly, fly,  the fox chases after a rabbit and   the sun shines, shines, shines.” 
 Hyunjin’s cock throbbed so hard he almost let out a whimper. He covered his mouth with his other hand, still rubbing himself with the other, not too hard so as not to be too obvious. You were singing with more confidence now, your voice steady and melodious. Hyunjin halted his movements when you suddenly turned around and approached him holding a small spoon full of honey. You offered it to him without a word, just singing, singing, singing.  
Hyunjin locked eyes with you and pulled his hand away from his mouth, parting his lips open to accept the honey from you. He twirled his tongue around the spoon, imagining it wasn’t honey he was gathering with it but you, your juices, your sweet cream.  
Carefully, you pulled the spoon out from between his sticky lips, but Hyunjin had seen the way you were staring at his mouth. He had seen the color on your cheeks. 
But now his mouth was full of honey that tasted like flowers, like the songs you sang to your bees. He swallowed, almost choking on the thick liquid, and ran his tongue on his lips as you turned away once again. What if his mouth was coated with you instead of honey? What if his mouth tasted like you instead? What if you weren’t singing for him, what if you were moaning and screaming, and pleading?  
What if he pulled your hair, what if he slapped your cunt until you cried, what if he fucked your ass? What if Hyunjin coated his cock with honey before fucking your pretty mouth—would you like that? What if he filled you over and over, always fucking his cum further into your sloppy cunt? What if he drizzled honey on your round tits and sucked on them, slurped on them? 
His concealed cock throbbed hard—Hyunjin let out a strangled noise when he shot a long, almost painful string of thick cum into his pants. His eyes rolled at the back of his head, hips bucking into his palm—the last thought his brain managed to spew out was how he wished he was flooding your cunt with his seed. He kept cumming, flooding his pants instead, making a mess on himself.  
 “Me, I rest, rest, rest,  for the first time in my life, I do not run,  I sit by the river instead of rushing after it,  for the first time in my life, I look around me  and find everything so pretty  I cry, cry, cry.”  
Hyunjin’s high faded out after the fourth and last shot of cum, leaving him panting and sweaty. He used the sleeve of his shirt to wipe his face and attempted to smooth out his hair while you were pouring the warm milk into two mugs.  
He still couldn’t really put two thoughts one after another, but Hyunjin could feel a strange pressure in his chest, resembling the one that had been building up in his balls just minutes ago. When you faced him again, you offered him a beaming smile. 
 “I hope I got it right,” you said, coming closer to set his mug on the table just in front of him. Hyunjin could feel his cum rolling down his thigh. Shit—he could smell it. “The song, I mean. I didn’t know it, but we found a man in the city who did, and who could teach it to me.” 
 The pressure in his chest grew again when you sat on the chair across from him. He was slowly descending, regaining the ability to think, and Hyunjin took one sip of the drink, hoping it would finish the job of rendering him functional again. It tasted nice—he had had warm milk before with other ingredients added to it, but never this particular recipe. The honey and cinnamon made it a whole new drink. 
 “Your voice is lovely,” Hyunjin said, staring at you from over his mug. “Did you really learn that song for me?” 
You blushed again and his spent cock twitched just slightly—just enough to remind him that he was being tortured by the most beautiful, wicked angel he had ever seen. 
“Of course, Hyunjin.” You drank some milk and put your mug on the table, keeping your small hands around it. “You said it was your favorite, so I learned it.” You lowered your gaze. 
Hyunjin wanted to kiss you then, wanted to ask you to sing all the songs that you knew. Instead, he drank more milk. “Thank you.” He couldn’t believe he was about to say it, but he did—either he was still high from his release, or you were indeed some sort of demon. “I couldn’t help but think that if roses could sing, their voice would sound like yours.”  
You raised your eyes towards him again, pretty lips parted but no words coming out of them.  
 “Your cheeks are the same color as roses,” he pointed out. “And just as silky-smooth as their petals.”  
Hyunjin heard your gulp. You licked your lips nervously and tried to smile, but you seemed stunned. Hyunjin was shocked himself—he couldn’t believe he had uttered those words out loud. If he hadn’t seen you prepare the warm milk, he would have thought you had put some witch’s brew in it to make him a fool. 
“Hyunjin…” But you didn’t finish your sentence. Instead, you extended your fingers over the table and brushed them against his hands, barely—but still, it was enough to make his head spin. “I should return to my bedchamber.”  
Yes. And he should as well.  
“Thank you for the honeyed milk,” Hyunjin said as you stood, holding your shawl with one hand and the mug with the other. “Thank you for the song, too. Your version is better than the one I had heard before.”  
 You left the room, not unlike the way a rabbit would run away from a fox and Hyunjin couldn’t blame you. He wanted to run away from himself, too. 
But he brought the mug to his lips again, drinking the rest of your sleeplessness cure. Honey and cinnamon. And a song, and flower petals, and… fondness. A voice beautiful enough to belong to a choir, to an angel.  
You were as pretty as a rose, thorns included. If Hyunjin ever held you, he was bound to get cut. 
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All of your life, you knew that this day would come.  
When you turned eight years old, your parents held a big celebration Guests from all around came, bringing gifts for you and for your family. Fine silk, spices, books and paper, a piano, even. That had been a good birthday, but what you were looking forward to most was opening the letter on your desk. The one from Hyunjin.  
But you were only a child then, and your mother cared very little about your excitement about reading the letter your friend sent, so she made you stick around the party all afternoon and all evening.  
After dinner, your mother had taken you along with a group of older relatives who had demanded to see your grandparents’ portraits, who you had never met because they had caught a fever while you were only an infant.  
While they were discussing your grandfather’s success—which you didn’t care about at all—you roamed around the parlor, looking at the other paintings, but your gaze kept returning to the one near the window. The young boy, sitting with a wide smile on his handsome face. The boy with a beauty mark under his eye, and a head full of thick black hair. The boy in the flower garden, with the pretty bees all around.  
Your great aunt had asked, “Is that him? The Hwang boy?” The question had been directed at your mother, who approached you and the older lady in the corner of the room.  
Still, you had answered. “Yes, that’s him,” you had uttered with the confidence only an eight year old child could have. “He’s my friend! I will marry him when I’m old enough.”  
“Your friend?” Your great aunt’s face was always unreadable, but it had been especially true at that moment. “He is your betrothed, child, he isn’t your friend. Don’t get the two mixed up.”  
“But he is my friend,” you had insisted. “He writes me letters, he sends me gifts.”  
“Foolish girl.” Your great aunt had been staring at you, making you want to disappear and hide under your bed. She had turned to your mother. “It’s time you told her how it’s gonna be, woman. Or else she’ll be a terrible wife.” 
That year was the year Hyunjin’s father paid the price for his sins. That year was the year Hyunjin’s mother died, too. That year was the year he became The Orphan.  
That night after the guests had left, you had finally been allowed to read Hyunjin’s letter. He spared you the details of it all, of course—you were a few years younger than him after all. But in the letter, he told you about the magnolia tree, he told you about the young Lord Christopher who moved in to fulfill the late Lord Hwang’s duties while Hyunjin grew up. ‘I think I’ll have to stop being a child now. That’s what everyone tells me. That I have to be a man. 
Your family will surely change their mind. It will no longer be an honor to have my family name, it will only bring shame. I hope we can stay friends. I will write you letters every year for your birthday no matter what your family says. I hope you like your gift. Lord Christopher took me to a special store so we could get it. 
I’m sorry my father did what he did. I really wanted to be your husband one day and show you the magnolia tree.  
I would never have hurt you, or betrayed you, or made you cry.  
Your friend forever,  
Hyunjin’  
But your father was a man full of greed. There may have been dishonor associated with the Hwang name, but there was a lot of gold, too. Assets. A stable future—the textile industry only grew larger and larger as you got older. He hadn’t even considered ending the betrothal, not that you knew of.  
That year, along with his letter, Hyunjin had sent you a book—By the Fireplace, it was called. You still had it. The cover was striking, decorated in rich crimson and gold. In the book, a young princess had become a queen and had lived a good life. The story was, in fact, this fictional queen telling her life story to her children and grandchildren. Stories of large ballrooms and dancing with foreign princes, travels to distant countries, meeting with politicians, holding a lion cub… You hadn’t caught onto that as a child. However, when you had picked up the book much later, you had realized the queen was on her deathbed, recalling her most cherished memories.  
You had often wondered if Hyunjin’s mother had enough time to do the same. Had she held her son’s hand, told him the fantastic story of his birth, or about the most beautiful sunset she ever saw? Did she have enough time to tell her son that she loved him? 
Is that why Hyunjin sat by the magnolia tree every day? Trying to hear the unspoken things, to feel them in his soul? 
All your life, you had known. That you would be Lady Hwang someday, that you would travel the distance between your family’s seaside villa and the Hwang Estate and become Hyunjin’s wife. But after your eighth birthday, you had understood the difference between friend and betrothed—and your mother had started to feel an urgency about the situation. 
And your lessons had begun. You were already learning needlework, singing, and basic painting. But that wasn’t enougNaturally, the future Lady Hwang would never have to even consider executing a domestic chore—cleaning, laundry, cooking and everything in between would be entrusted to the maids and housekeepers. Hwang manor was a big home and the family owned a lot of land so they had many people working for them. Still, as the Lady of the house, you had to know exactly how to perform each task to make sure the staff was up to the highest standards. You have to keep the staff happy and content or else, all you’ll reap is a house that’s out of order, your mother had told you. But never let them forget who’s above them. Be grateful, but never lenient.  
You were ten years old when she told you that. And then it got worse.  
They had you start dancing then. You had to follow a strict diet of meat, vegetables, and fruit. Waltz, menuet, two-step… More than you cared for. And you couldn’t just know the dances like other girls, no—you were to marry into the Hwang family, the empire, one of the most influential families in the country. You had to be the best at them, your posture had to be exceptional. Blisters on your feet did not matter, and neither did fainting from exertion. 'What kind of lady will you be if you can’t stun everyone with dainty moves and elegant extensions?' 
You were to grow your hair long, shiny and strong, spending a large amount of time morning and evening applying various oils and ointments to it, just like your skin. You had to learn how to make pretty, elaborate braids in it and had to be forced to bed before anyone else to get beauty sleep. You had to stay in the shade, had to bathe in the sea on rainy days, and had to have ice applied to your face as often as possible. 'You have to be pretty, my daughter, or else the lord will never want to put a baby in you.' 
You were fourteen when your mother put the immeasurable burden of beauty and femininity on your shoulders.  
 And then it got even worse.  
You were sheltered in the villa, and no young male guests were welcome in your family’s home. You were rarely alone, were not allowed privacy. When you were eighteen, your mother had the family doctor inspect you from the inside out for the first time. He confirmed that you were still a virgin, but mentioned that no rough physical activity should be performed by you until you got married.  
He measured you, your waist, your shoulders, your hips. Your breasts. He told your mother that you had developed well, that your body seemed inclined to childbirth. However, you should keep a record of your monthly bleedings, just to be sure. 'She has a nice body,' he had told your mother. 'Any man will want to bed her rather often, I believe. She will give you many grandchildren.' 
When you were nineteen, your mother hired a new housemaid, one just for you. She was a few years older than you. 'She’s a widow,' your mother had revealed. 'You have much to learn from her.' But about the pretty housemaid, your mother never said anything else. The girl's name was Jung-Sook. 
That girl had been your first kiss. 'You’ll have to know how to make Lord Hwang happy,' she had told you. She had taught you that, kissing, and what men liked. That you should be submissive, in and outside of the bedroom. That you should make him feel important and strong, that you wouldn’t like it when he put his cock inside of you but you had to pretend.  
'Pretend? How am I supposed to pretend?' You hadn’t known, but she had shown you a few tricks, explained to you in detail, and made you practice clenching and moaning and panting.  
Jung-Sook had shown you how to make yourself wet and ready for him too—something, she said, that would help him finish deeper inside of you, improving your chances of being with child. If the lord wished to take you several times in a day, you should always let him, even if at the end of the day you felt sore between your legs. She showed you how to use warm and cool compresses, alternating between the two, to soothe your aching core.  
 And then, on the nights she and you shared a bottle of sweet wine, Jung-Sook told you her stories. After her husband’s death, she developed a craving for sinful activities. 'Ah, but what is sin anyway? If it’s so bad, then why does it feel so fucking good?' But you didn’t know it could be good, sex.  
 Eventually, Jung-Sook settled down and had been hired by two families before yours to prepare their daughter for marriage. 
  That night was the first time you had an orgasm, and you had it with that girl’s head between your legs.   Life-changing.  
'I bet you’ll drive your lord mad, my lady,' the girl had said on her last day at the villa. 'I bet he’ll give you many babies.' 
 You had known your whole entire life that you would marry Hwang Hyunjin, and over the course of that life, you had been taught for almost every hour of every day how to be a suitable wife to him—not for his pleasure, no, but to make sure he would put a few Hwang babies in you.  
Except for beekeeping and honeymaking. Those stolen moments were the only instants you were allowed for yourself, for your own selfish enjoyment. That, and two other moments throughout the year—your birthday and Hyunjin’s birthday, when you read his letter and a few months later when you wrote him one in return.  
All your life, you had known that this day would come.  And yet, it still hit you in the face when it did. 
 You married Hyunjin in the prettiest church you had ever seen. The work on the stained glass was so detailed that you stayed after the ceremony just to look at it.  
 Hyunjin didn’t stay. Your husband. Instead, he left without a word to head back home, to make sure everything was running smoothly there, as he had organized a big meal and afternoon of festivities. 
 Because you had been conditioned so young to the concept of your wedding day, maybe, you just felt numb today. The ring was elegant, gold with a diamond and pearls. You received blessings and you spoke your vows as rehearsed.  
 Your dress, to you, was the dress of a queen. Ivory silk with lace, shimmering under the sunlight, strangely comfortable. 'Well, it’s a dress, isn’t it? Not a torture device.' Ha-ri, you were hoping, would be your closest friend in this new life of yours. You would never forget your wedding dress and the way it hugged your body that day. A day where you had been surrounded the whole time but had never felt more alone. 
 You thought everybody had left the church until you heard footsteps. “Remarkable, isn’t it?” You turned only to see Lord and Lady Bang approach you. Both of them were looking especially dapper today—him in an elegant dark gray wool coat and a black vest, her in an impressive amber-colored gown.  
 You offered them a polite smile before looking at the stained glass again. The colors were bold, vibrant, and made the light filtering through them come alive. What a beautiful day—from here, you could hear the chatter of people making their way back to the manor, could hear the songbirds, the chirping of bugs. How lively everything was and yet, you couldn’t feel a single thing within you.  
 All of your life you had known that this day would come. The day had come. And now you stood in an empty church, looking at the way light reacted to stained glass.  
 What a foolish girl you had been. To think that becoming Lady Hwang would make any difference, to think that marrying Hyunjin would make you happy. What a foolish girl you had been even three days ago when, in the kitchen, you had thought it was affection you saw in his eyes as he licked his honey-coated lips.  
 He had not spoken to you after that, except for when he repeated his wedding vows to you just moments ago. 
Could affection and indifference look the same in the eyes of a man broken beyond repair? 
 “Pretty,” you told Lord Christopher. You had forgotten to reply to him, too lost in your thoughts. “How was the ceremony? I think I blacked out.” 
 “Don’t worry, I barely remember my wedding day myself.” Lady Bang took your hand in hers, squeezing it gently, grazing the skirts of your dress with the other. “We have to get you home now, though. They’ll be expecting you.”  
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They sat you with Hyunjin at a large table in the manor’s backyard. Both Hyunjin, his entourage as well as your family had agreed that an outdoor reception was maybe a little unusual, but that it would allow more guests to take part in the festivities. Those who got tired of sitting outside could always make their way indoors. 
 The manor could host quite a few guests, and all of the rooms would be occupied. Last minute additions—Baron Han Jisung and his wife had been able to make the trip, in the end—had forced you to share your mother’s bedroom last night so that they could use the room that had been given to you. But naturally, you hadn’t been able to sleep anyway, so nervous you couldn’t even keep your food down at all and had spent the whole night vomiting and crying. Naturally, your mother had reminded you that you would look ugly on your wedding day if you kept crying like that. 
Guests came one after the other to congratulate you and offer gifts. Han Jisung, Kim Seungmin, Lord Bang, and even the Earl—Yang Jeongin—had stopped by for a visit. You sat there, ignored by your husband but adored by everybody else, listening to the music and eating a little bit of food. 
Today, Hyunjin wore his hair in a half ponytail again, but the ribbon tying it up was of the same burgundy as the velvet waistcoat he wore under his dark frock coat. He looked stunning, more than ever if that was even possible. Many times already, you had wanted to take his hand in yours but stopped yourself at the last second. He would only smile at the guests and, to you, not even speak one word. 
 You felt relief when, for a while, Hyunjin left the table. He disappeared and Lord Christopher took his seat to chat with you, complaining that the other guests had eaten too much of the food and that all the good stuff was gone.  
 “Have you had a chance to get a look at your wedding cake, Lady Hwang?” he asked casually, stealing a fresh bread roll and covering it with butter. “Did you know that our Hyunjin hired the best baker in the country to make it?” 
 Yes. The baker had arrived two days before the wedding. You had expected an arrogant, self-righteous kind of man from the description of his talent, but Felix was quite the opposite. His smile was as warm as the sun, and he was a young but intelligent man who truly took pleasure in sharing his skills with the world. ‘I promise you that your cake will be better and prettier than the queen’s,’ he had told you. He had been an assistant to the baker in charge of the queen’s cake—that, alone, would have given Felix permission to be even just a little cocky. But he wasn’t at all. 
 “I have, it’s quite impressive, isn’t it?” The icing was so white, so smooth, that you had almost made Ha-ri angry when you refused to leave the kitchen to go get ready for the ceremony. You just wanted to stay there and chat with cheerful Felix. 
 But here you were. The sunlight was beginning to fade. You couldn’t tell how long Hyunjin had been actively avoiding you, but he was forced to face you yet again after you—and the whole group of women whose help you needed to use the lavatory—came back to the party after excusing yourself for a short while.  
 Hyunjin stood somewhere near the crowd, discussing with the Baron and Lord Christopher. When you approached them, Lady Bang offered you an encouraging smile and walked toward the group of musicians that were seemingly waiting for instructions. Not too far from there, your mother was dozing off, probably wine-drunk, while your father and brother were both in deep discussion with the Earl. There was no doubt in your mind that they were trying to talk their way into a royal event of some kind. 
You felt Hyunjin move closer to you and jumped when he took your hand in his. “We have to dance. Remember?”  
 Yes, you remembered. The house staff had cleared the paved patio yesterday, to make space for a decently-sized dancefloor. Just so you and your lord husband could move elegantly in front of a crowd who gave more of a shit about what would take place afterward, in the privacy of your bedroom, than out here.  
Still—you had to dance, and other couples were getting ready to join as well. 
 You nodded, and Hyunjin squeezed your hand so gently that you wondered if he had done it at all. You walked with him under the gaze of the crowd. Again, he squeezed your hand before letting go of you.  
Thanks to your mother’s strict training, you had done this, exactly this, a hundred or a thousand times. You were not nervous. Hyunjin, on the other hand, was sweating, and you could swear his lips were trembling a little. 
 “It’ll be fine,” you whispered just for him. “Hyunjin, they’ll all be looking at me, not at you.” 
 Hyunjin might have had the same facial expression if you had just told him he had been crowned king. He took a deep breath, relieved—maybe, in his nervous state, he had forgotten how much people loved watching girls in their big gowns as they danced a Viennese waltz.  
 You had done this a million times—just not with Hyunjin specifically.  
You bowed to each other, and you made sure that your neck was angled perfectly, that your arms were elegant and reminiscent of a fresh lily. You could barely hear the violin and the cello over the sound of blood pounding in your ears. In the sunset light, Hyunjin was hauntingly beautiful. He had to look you in the eyes this time, and it made your heart skip a few beats. He had eyes unlike any other eyes you had ever seen—the irises themselves were big, of a warm dark brown, almost black color. Hyunjin’s eyes were like looking into pools of ink, like molasses on a slice of pound cake—thick, sweet, overwhelming.  
 But his gaze—that was even worse. It was as if his soul was spilling out of his irises, the darkness, the light, like tar, like honey. As if his gaze hit you like the wind, like a tidal wave, wrapping you in something as delicate as silk, as intricate as a concerto, as mighty as a storm. 
And then you danced. You had dreamed of this moment since you were only a little girl when your eldest sister had gotten married and she had danced a waltz in front of the guests. You had turned to your aunt, the one who, not much later in your life, had shown you her secret honeyed milk recipe, and you had asked, ‘Am I going to dance with Hyunjin like that too?’  
  ‘Yes, child. Someday, he’ll hold you just like that, and everybody will be looking at you, thinking what a beautiful bride you make.’ 
And today, Hyunjin held you, and everybody was staring at you, at the way your hair moved with you and your gown, your posture, your smile. It wasn’t your true smile, and if your mother were less drunk, she would probably be able to tell the difference. But everyone else here was a stranger, and they didn't care.  
 You had been a foolish girl. 
Thinking that there would be love in Hyunjin’s eyes on your wedding day. 
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You didn’t even get to taste the cake.  
 “I promise I’ll keep some for you, my lady,” Felix assured you, overseeing the proper cutting of it by the kitchen staff.  
 But the lights had been turned on in the lord’s bedchamber, meaning it was time for you to head there. Hyunjin did not take your hand in his as, under the crowd’s probing gaze, you made your way toward the manor. He did not speak, not even once you were inside, or walking up the stairs. He led the way quietly, walking slowly. He was in no rush to make it there and neither were you—and your legs were weak whereas your heart was running and your head spinning. 
 You had seen his bedroom before. Ha-ri had managed to sneak you in while her beloved husband took Hyunjin for last-minute wedding preparations outside the manor. ‘So that you can get a look at the place, get accustomed to it a little before…’ she had said. 
 Hyunjin closed the heavy door behind you and immediately went to pull the curtains of the several large windows on the farther side of both his bedroom and his study. You followed to assist him. You made sure not to move your head too much as you did so—you feared the vomiting might resume if you moved too quickly.  
The bedroom was spacious, with a beautiful high ceiling and dark, wooden walls, and carpets with elaborate patterns lay in various areas of the floor. There was a lot of furniture—a table and two chairs, two armchairs, a sofa, chests and drawers… 
 One piece in particular caught your attention—the imposing, jaw-dropping grandfather clock in Hyunjin’s study. It was taller than you were, its wooden base covered in beautiful carvings painted in real gold.  
 “Is that tulip poplar?” you asked, reaching for the clock without actually touching it. “It’s so pretty, Hyunjin.”  
 “Poplar and white pine,” Hyunjin corrected, making his way across the study to stand near you. You could tell he was a lot more relaxed than he had been earlier. “It’s magnificent, isn’t it? It was a gift from my mother, to me, when I turned ten years old. I moved it here when I took the study and bedroom.”  
 “Wow… What did I even send you that year?” You couldn’t help a nervous giggle from escaping you. “Whatever it was, it was subpar compared to this… I’ve never seen a clock like that.” 
 “It’s not from here. She bought it on her travels,” Hyunjin explained. “It’s why it’s so different from others you’ve seen.” You could tell from the corner of your eyes that he was watching you. “That year, you sent me graphite pencils. The art supplies.”  
 Ah, yes. You remembered now—the year after, Hyunjin had apologized in his letter.  
‘I was hoping I could send you a sketch this year, but I’m afraid I can’t. Father doesn’t want me drawing, he says it’s a waste of time and gave my pencils away to the Count’s daughter.’  
 “I’m sorry, Hyunjin.” You turned to face him. 
 “You couldn’t have known.” Hyunjin shook his head, strands of hair falling on his face. He only ever spoke to you in private, it seemed, and it was in private that he seemed the most tired, too. Fatigued, weary, like the burden on his shoulders was too heavy for him to carry. “They left wine for us, food too. Would you like some? We have to talk.” 
While you had been taught what to expect on your wedding night, you weren’t sure that a thorough discussion was customary—still, you welcomed it. For years, Hyunjin had been in your life, words written in elegant cursive on high-quality paper. Now that you had heard his voice, you realized that he sounded just like elegant cursive, too.  
And it messed with your head. It made you want to hear him more and more. 
You followed him back into the bedroom and he pulled your chair at the small table by the window. Someone had left an impressive amount of food—cheese, bread, mutton with rice, honey-glazed roasted carrots, and various pastries. You grabbed as much of your gown as you could to sit down, but felt Hyunjin’s hand on your shoulder before you could. 
 “Hold on, that mustn't be very comfortable. To sit down in this. Would you like to change?” When you looked at him, his expression was more relaxed, but his cheeks had turned pink. You figured your face was most likely a similar shade. You had felt a strange wave in your gut when he touched your shoulder. “I don’t think they brought your things here yet, but I’ll give you something.” 
 You considered the offer, the heat in your face spreading down your neck. “Most of the lacing for the gown and the skirts are at the back, my l—” You paused, your gaze turning away, choosing to stare at the wall behind him instead.  
 “I’ll help you.” Hyunjin gulped but he nodded. “I don’t think the bride is supposed to stay in her gown for the wedding night anyway.”  
 You received these words like a nudge—at first glance, the words were kind and gentle, but they entered your soul like a shockwave. You took a deep breath in an attempt to settle your panic and the warmth that continued to spread through your body, reaching your abdomen now. You had spent days here, and very little time with Hyunjin. Still, every time you did see him, it took your breath away.  
 You stood by the bed with Hyunjin in your back, as quiet as you were—except that in the thick silence of the room, you could hear his heavy breathing, as if he was meditating on something.  
You jumped when his fingers reached your lower back, undoing the bows and knots that held the first layers of your skirts together.  
 “I think this was Ha-ri’s best work so far,” Hyunjin said.  
 “I would like to give her something, for her trouble. She worked in record time, after all, and she’s so sweet.” Hyunjin gently pulled a few layers of clothing off you. He was slow and methodical. You could feel his hot breath on the back of your neck, sending shivers down your spine, like a spark igniting dried grasses. “Do you have any idea for a gift, Hyunjin?”  
 “I actually do.” Hyunjin paused your undressing, but his hands remained on the clasps of your crinoline. “I am planning on freeing Changbin from his duties as Head Steward.”  
 What? You may have been here only a few days, but you had spent a considerable amount of this time with Changbin and his wife, and you couldn’t think of a single reason to let him go—he was trustworthy and caring. You turned around, shocked, and Hyunjin looked at you puzzled for a few moments before shaking his head with a faint laugh. 
 "No, not as in firing him," he replied, and you returned to your original position, facing away from him with a relieved sigh. “There’s a lovely house on the other side of the wooden area, at the Eastern side of here. It’s unoccupied at the moment, and I’d like for him and his family to have it. I want him on my council. He’s sharp, has good ideas—he already assists me that way, but I want him seated at the table, making it official. You know? So maybe you can gift Ha-ri something for her new home.” 
 “Oh, Hyunjin.” The crinoline skirt was taken off you, but you suppressed a gasp when Hyunjin’s fingers found the strings of your corset. 
How hard did he work, every day, at keeping the facade of a cold man when he was quite the opposite? A man who wanted to elevate his friends, who undid the lacing of your corset as if you were made of porcelain, delicately, gently? A man who sat by the magnolia tree in his garden, a man who had shown you kindness when he did not have to?  
 “You would honor him and his family, for eternity.” Hyunjin was taking his time back there as if he actually regretted his decision to undress you. “You are a kind and considerate man, Lord Hyunjin.” 
 There was a pause, but it lasted only a few seconds. “Kind? Considerate? Nobody has ever called me that before.” He repeated it under his breath a few times, acting almost like they were words he had only just discovered.  
“Yes, you are kind.” Finally, the strings holding your corset together came undone. You held it against you so it didn’t fall, and looked behind you, but barely—just enough to see Hyunjin’s dark hair, his burgundy waistcoat. You found yourself wishing he would touch you again. “You… You kept the promise that your father had made, when nobody expected you to. You didn’t have to. Didn’t have to marry below your station.”  
 He did touch you again then, as if an angel had heard your plea and decided to grant your wish. Hyunjin’s warm hands found your arms, and he held you. You trembled under his touch, struck with a hunger that you weren’t familiar with. Something deep, something dark.  
 When he spoke, Hyunjin’s face was so close that you felt his breath on your ear, so close that you could smell the cognac in it. His voice was dry, provoked—he sounded as if you had said something terrible. “Never fucking say this.” He held you tighter, pulling you closer, pressing your back against his chest. “I never want to hear those words out of your mouth again. Understood?”  
 “S—sorry,” you uttered, dipping your head with shame. “I didn’t think my words, I didn’t mean to insult you, I didn’t—”  
 “Don’t apologize.” Hyunjin let go of you, his warmth parting away from you but leaving another kind of heat between your legs—that hunger, that unexpected ardency that made your heart run in your chest. “I’ll get you some clothes now.”  
 Hyunjin gave you privacy, waiting in his study while you changed—you kept your drawers and chemise but wrapped yourself in the large, white blouse he had provided you with and comfortable moccasins for your feet. When he returned, you sat together at the table and Hyunjin proceeded to put some food on a plate for you. 
You, however, couldn’t take your eyes off the bed. You knew that this food was meant to be eaten after Hyunjin was done with you. After the marriage had been consummated. He had taken your clothes off you but he had not shown any interest in doing what he had to do. What he was supposed to do.  
 Part of you was relieved, maybe. But you couldn’t ignore the disappointment, the fear in your chest—maybe, for a while, when you were fifteen years old, you had been stupid enough to believe that Hyunjin would love you. Naturally, you realized that this was impossible. But there was a difference between love and… this.  
 For fuck’s sake. If you disgusted him so much, he could do what other men did—get drunk, blow all the candles in the room and take you from behind to make sure he didn’t see you.  
 “Are you not eating?” Hyunjin asked, pouring both of you a glass of sweet wine. You took yours immediately and drank all of it in one go.  
 “I’m not very hungry.” When you put your glass back on the table, Hyunjin poured more wine into it—he, too, had chugged his in a matter of seconds. Your gaze trailed back towards the bed. It was an imposing piece, with plush pillows and silk covers.  
 Hyunjin was ignoring the food as well. His eyes followed yours, lingering on his empty bed for a while before they returned to you. “I guess it’s time we talked, then.” He sighed. “I suggest we drink another round.”  
 The wine was sweet, its taste familiar—it was one of the bottles that your parents had brought along, as a wedding gift to Lord Hwang. The particularly sunny summers made the grapes sweet and flavorful, resulting in a wine that made you drunk quickly and pleasantly.  
 “I do not plan on consummating the marriage,” Hyunjin revealed. He looked tense. He looked… sad. “So don’t worry about that.” 
 “Oh.” Worry?  
 “I won’t touch you. You’re safe with me.” 
 “But—” There were too many things you wanted to say at once—they got stuck in your throat, and it seemed that drinking more wine did not help dislodge them.  
 “Don’t worry.” That again. 
 “I’m not worried, I wasn’t worried, I just—” Out of all the scenarios you had imagined, this was eerily similar to the worst one that crossed your mind. “Do you…” What a difficult question to ask, and yet—you must ask it. It would at least lay some grounds for the marriage, no matter how unhappy it would be. “Do you hate me, my lord?”  
 “Hate you?” Hyunjin stared blankly at you. “Do I hate you? Are you fucking kidding me?” There it was again—that anger, that quiet fury from earlier when you had mentioned his possible disappointment in marrying you. “This isn’t about you, this has nothing to do with you. Most girls would be glad to be spared of their husbands, you know?”  
Ah.  
Could affection and indifference look the same in the eyes of a man broken beyond repair?  
You looked into his eyes—in the dim lighting provided by the candles on this side of the room, they reminded you of black coffee, mysterious, compelling—just like the rest of him. Hyunjin licked his bottom lip, dragging his smooth tongue slowly across it, cocking his head to the side. He was trying to read you. 
 And so you tried to conceal your disappointment. You tried to turn it into something else, anything else.  
 If he had known from the start that he did not want to consummate this marriage, then Hyunjin could never find out that you were still wet between your legs from him touching you earlier, forcefully pulling you against him. He couldn’t know that the other night in the kitchen, you had believed his cock had grown hard because of you. that you had touched yourself to that thought later, imagining him rutting against you. Imagining that it was his cock stretching you open instead of your fingers, remembering the way it had looked when you had fed him that spoonful of honey, his full lips coated with it, his tongue twirling around the spoon. He had eaten it as if his life depended on it.  
But maybe it had just been a trick of the light. Maybe you should have been a good girl and learned not to look at his fucking crotch. Maybe you should have kept your honey for yourself and you wouldn’t be haunted by the way his mouth looked as he ate it.  
“Drink again.” Hyunjin added more wine into your glass, but you didn’t drink—you were trying to control the pricking in your eyes, trying to control the trembling of your lips. You couldn’t look away from the bed. You had thought a lot about this bed, about Hyunjin kissing you on it, your body sinking into the soft mattress as he pushed himself into you, melting inside you. You had thought about what it must feel like if he shot his cum deep into your cunt. “Don’t cry.”  
You took a few sips of the wine, letting it sit in your mouth for a few instants as you tried to process the most urgent information. “They’ll expect something in there,” you finally said, gesturing towards the bed. “On the sheets.”  
 Then, finally, you turned to Hyunjin again. The enigma. The Orphan. His beauty hit you once more, his teeth sinking into his lip, his concerned eyes, his red cheeks. He hated every moment of this as much as you did. “Does it really bleed every time?”  
“Might not,” you admitted. “Then they’ll spread me open, Hyunjin, and fucking look with their own two eyes, or put their fingers inside of me to check.” You looked around, anger rising within you—which was very unlike you. Maybe in trying to conceal your dismay, it had turned into something sour.  
You left your seat, locating a few glass bottles near Hyunjin’s bed. You grabbed one of them—it had once contained perfume, according to its label, but it was empty—and showed it to him. “That one has a good enough length, I reckon. Should I fuck myself with this, my lord, until I feel myself break open, just so that your doctor believes it was you who did it?” 
Hyunjin wouldn’t have looked any different if you had turned into a goose. He sat there, stunned, staring at you for a long time, before leaving his chair to join you on the other side of the bed. He took the empty bottle from your hand and put it back on the table. Only, he kept your hand in his, then did something unexpected—he put his other hand on the side of your head, brushing his thumb on your cheek.  
He was so, so handsome. He was much taller than you and you had to twist your neck to look at him. His boozy breath hit your nostrils and you inhaled it, inhaled him, as his warm hand closed into a fist in your hair. Gently. Lovingly, you dared think, but maybe that was the wine. You couldn’t look away from his mouth, the way it parted open just a little, ready to be kissed.  
“I won’t let him touch you. You’re my wife.” Hyunjin’s voice was low, a rough whisper, thick with an emotion you couldn’t pinpoint. “I won’t let anyone hurt you, ever. You’re safe with me.”  
Hyunjin’s thumb found your lips and he pressed it faintly on them as if to test them out. His face twisted a little, but you couldn’t tell why. “My wife.” 
His delicate touch was enough to make you properly wet, and you found yourself pressing your thighs together when he pushed his thumb past your lips. 
The very tip of his thumb touched your tongue for less than a second before he retreated his hand from your head, and himself from your immediate space, but it had been enough. He had started a fire inside of you—one that you weren’t sure could be put out. 
Don’t look down. Don’t fucking look down. You made yourself stare at his beautiful face instead—what if the light played tricks on you again, made you believe he wanted you, somehow?  
“You’re safe with me,” Hyunjin said again, turning away to look into one of his drawers. He returned with a small knife—its sheath was decorated with pretty pictures of trees on it. “You may want to look away, darling. Pull the bed covers down for me, will you?” 
Darling. You took a deep breath, watching Hyunjin pull up one of his sleeves after freeing the blade from his sheath. “Hyunjin, wait—” All of a sudden, you regretted your petty explosion of anger, your little scene with the bottle.  
But it was too late. Hyunjin put the blade against the skin of his forearm, not far from the elbow, and cut a small laceration in it. He hissed through his teeth, groaning loudly enough that if anyone had been nosy enough to linger around in the hallway they would have heard him. By the sound of it, they’d believe for sure that he had just blown the biggest load in your virgin cunt. 
You, on the other hand, had to work hard on keeping a neutral expression on your face—but you wouldn’t forget that sinful noise anytime soon.  
You got to work when the first drops of blood appeared in Hyunjin’s cut. You removed the covers on the bed and made sure the one covering the mattress had ripples in it, making it look like it had been used. You did the same with the pillows and ultimately decided to push one off the bed.  
By then, Hyunjin was bleeding a lot more, so you had to act quick. You gathered some blood in your hand and went to spread it on the white sheet in what you hoped would look like what it had to look like. But you had never seen it yourself, so it was hard to tell.  
“You’re not afraid of blood?” Hyunjin questioned, surprised. He had grabbed a clean piece of cloth to stop the bleeding on his arm but handed you one so that you could wipe your hands clean.  
“Why would I be?” You turned to him. “Because I’m a girl? Girls see a whole lot more blood than men do, Hyunjin.”  
Even in that situation, he smiled. A contrite but amused smile, with a nod. “You’re right, I apologize.” He hesitated. “Would you mind wrapping my arm in some cloth? I can’t tie the knot myself with just one hand.”  
But you didn’t just do that. You poured some clean water on his wound, dried it off, and cleaned it up again just to make sure. By the time you did wrap it up, Hyunjin had stopped bleeding. The whole time, you made yourself look anywhere but his pants. Anywhere. You couldn’t stand it either way—if he was hard, you’d want nothing but to feel it against you. If he wasn’t, you’d be disappointed. 
“I guess I should undress too,” he mumbled, returning to the table for more wine. 
So he did. Facing away from you, he left his coat and waistcoat on his chair while you sat on one of the armchairs, away from him. You watched him unbutton his trousers—you couldn’t look away. His hair grazing his broad shoulders, his long legs, how firm his body seemed to be… You wished, so badly, that you could feel him up under your palms. 
“I just need a minute, okay?” Hyunjin sat on the chair, taking deep breaths. He drank wine directly from the bottle. “Then I’ll go get them.”  
So you saw it. You saw the bulge in his pants, you saw the color on his cheeks. But you pretended you didn’t. 
Hyunjin didn’t want to fuck you. He wanted to call you his wife, his darling, and wanted to feel your tongue under his thumb, but he didn’t want to fuck you even when his obviously large cock strained against his clothes.  
You ignored the pressure between your legs, ignored the wetness sticking to your skin there, too. Hyunjin had been right—most women would be glad for things to turn out this way, but they hadn’t married the boy who had sent them letters for the past twenty years. 
They hadn’t married the man who looked like a prince, whose long dark hair framed his handsome face so perfectly that he must have been carved by angels themselves. And maybe these women, unlike you, hadn’t been taught how to feel pleasure, how to seek it, how to reach it.  
Eventually, Hyunjin got up again and made his way towards the door. He left the room for a while and you heard voices down the hallway. You stayed there, on the armchair, eyes on the stain of blood you had drawn on the mattress cover. Red on white. That's all it was. It meant nothing. 
You felt empty, as empty as the wine bottle.   What a foolish girl you had been.  
  When Hyunjin came back, he was surrounded by Baron Han, as well as Lord Christopher. It was the first time you could sense any sort of discomfort in Lord Bang, as he usually brought a light mood with him wherever he went. Doctor Yun was also present, and you shot him a disgusted stare as he entered the room, scanning you with his ugly eyes.  
The three men made their way towards the bed, all of them staring at the blood on it. 
“Very well,” the Baron said. He was shorter than the others, but his presence was no less imposing—small, golden glasses rested on his nose and he had a perfect posture. He had a pleasant face, too, round and friendly despite his serious expression. “It has been done.” 
“I’ve seen enough,” Lord Christopher chimed in, turning away from the bed, but also avoiding looking at you. “We wish you a pleasant evening, Lord and Lady Hwang.”  
“Hold on,” Yun voiced louder than he needed to. The Baron and Lord Christopher were already halfway towards the door, but they stopped and turned to the doctor, who had stayed near the bed. Yun left the bed to come near you. “My lady, that’s quite a lot of blood there.”  
Your heart dropped in your chest. You looked past him, on the mattress. You thought this had been about right, just a small stain, you didn’t know what it was supposed to look like. 
 "Doctor—” Hyunjin started, disgust coating his voice. 
“I’m just saying, as a professional health specialist,” Doctor Yun went on, “that my lady is bleeding abnormally, and should be thoroughly checked to make sure she is healthy. Who knows what this blood means? A simple loss of maidenhood would not cause this.” 
You locked eyes with Hyunjin and gulped. Right now, the solution of fucking yourself with that glass bottle sounded like a missed opportunity. When you looked away, you caught sight of your hand, where you wore your wedding ring.  
It reminded you of who you were now.  Today, you were somebody. You were a person who could actually talk back to him. 
“Doctor Yun.” You stood up, holding yourself as straight as you could, trying to hide your shaking hands behind your back. “I do not think this is any of your business. Please vacate the room immediately.” 
But the doctor didn’t budge. “My lady, your health might be at risk, I—” 
“You want to know why there’s so much blood?” You took one step closer to the ugly man, looking at him right in the eyes. “As his doctor, you should know this—Lord Hwang is rather well endowed. And, if you wish to know, he was particularly relentless tonight. Do you require more details, doctor?”  
You heard whispers and mumbles coming from Lord Christopher and the Baron.  
“That was not necessary, Doctor,” the Baron said. “Please leave the woman alone, or else I’ll have you escorted outside the premises.”  
 “I live here,” the doctor retorted, but he still retreated away, allowing you to breathe with a little more ease. “And, with all due respect, Baron, I do not answer to you.” 
Hyunjin cleared his throat. “Actually, you no longer live here.” He walked around the bed, making his way to the doctor. “You’ll be allowed to sleep here tonight and stay a few more hours tomorrow while you gather your things, but I do not wish to have you in employment anymore. If you make a scene, I will have you thrown out right away, and, if I’m not mistaken, the nights are still quite cold at this time of the year. You decide.”  
There was a brief pause, during which Hyunjin looked at you for a few seconds before turning to the doctor again. “You should have known better than to try and sneak your way between my wife’s legs. You’re lucky I don’t feel like touching your hideous face, because you’d have to bandage your own fucking self tonight, Yun. Get the fuck away from here.” 
Maybe Yun feared Hyunjin—he did not argue and simply took his leave after a low bow. The Baron excused himself as well, saying he would make sure the doctor didn't cause a fuss around the last of the guests as well as informing your father of the successful consummation of the marriage. This, you tried to ignore as you did not want to be thinking about that at all. Not tonight. You were tired, and sad. 
Lord Christopher lingered in the door frame. “My lady, my wife mentioned she was available if you required anything, as we are spending the night here.”  
Of course. Ha-ri had also offered you the same thing. ‘Come find me afterwards if you need help or if you just want to talk.’ “Thank you, my lord. I’m quite alright.”  
Hyunjin did not speak for a long time after Lord Christopher had left and closed the door behind him. He disappeared in the study and reappeared with whiskey and two glasses while you got up and pulled the bloodied sheet off the bed. It took only a few instants for two maids to come, bringing with them a change of sheets.  
“I’ll do it myself,” you told them. “Leave it. Thank you, girls.”  
They left, too. You wondered if you ought to get out as well and close that heavy door behind you. Maybe Ha-ri would have some good counsel for you, but you weren’t even sure what to say to her, or to anyone.  
Hyunjin helped you make the bed again and poured each of you a generous amount of whiskey as you sat on the bed, the way you used to with your friends. 
You were the first one to speak after the long silence. “I’m sorry I said that.” You finished your whiskey, wondering if he’d let you have more. “To Yun.” 
“Don’t be sorry, darling.” Hyunjin turned to you, his head cocked to the side. “I should thank you, you made it sound like I am quite the lover.”  
He did pour more whiskey into your glass, then into his. By now, his eyes were hooded and he moved slowly. “You haven’t really answered my question earlier, Hyunjin.” The whiskey was delicious. Strong, crisp. “Do you hate me?”  
Hyunjin stared at you intently, his eyes trailing on your lips, below them, below your neck, to your lips again. He seemed almost in pain. His hand found your face again and he caressed it with the back of his fingers.  
“Pretty, clever. Sweet, sweet, sweet, like honey. How could anybody hate you, darling?”  
You slept in his bed that night with your back turned to his. The wine and the whiskey put you into a deep sleep, but when you woke up, the other half of the bed was empty.  
What a foolish girl you had been.  
To be continued.
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As always, your interactions & engagement with my works mean everything. Thank you for reading, thank you for being patient with me & supporting me!
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🍯 taglist: @neosracha @streetlight-s @tanyas97 @hyun-bun @hellishmoons @americanokisses @aimeexx @upallnight-s @yla-aira @moasworld @lovhyunj @yourhwngness @staaa96 @honey-lemon-goose @catwhisk @changbinluvr @neosfw @hyunjinswifeee @linaliann @felixcharmerera @aerastus
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1K notes · View notes
manddor · 1 year
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GUT WRENCHING ANGST with ajax please thank uu
anything you ask, darling! @bwitch3d asked for something similar, so i made just one! thanks for the request. this one is a little long, but i hope u guys like it <33
ajax petropolus x fem!reader — forbidden lovers; angst + fluff at the end
NO MATTER THE CONSEQUENCES
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You remember exactly how your first year at Nevermore was. Traumatic. You were excited to make friends, since you felt extremely lonely at home. You were an only child and your parents never gave you enough attention. So you wanted to have friends that you could play with. Things that children normally want.
You met wolves, vampires, mermaids and gorgons - a species your parents despised. Although, you wanted to befriend each one of them.
Ajax Petropolus, a gorgon, gave you a huge smile and asked you to sit next to him in your first class. “Is this your first day here?” the boy's thin voice made you crack a smile.
“Yeah! How about you?” the boy nodded and you both spent the whole year together. Having fun, studying together. He became your first and best friend on Nevermore and you made a lot of other friends - but where you were, Ajax was and where Ajax was, you were.
When the holidays arrived, you were dying for your families to meet so you could spend the holidays together, but when your mothers saw each other, it was a disaster.
“You!” the two spoke at the same time. You and Aj looked at each other confused. They already knew each other and it seemed like it hadn't been a good interaction.
“What I said about gorgons, y/n! We despise them” your mother said and you felt the blood rush to your head.
“But mom-“ you tried to speak but Ajax's mom cut you off.
“You two are forbidden to talk-“
“Oh dear, let me give orders to my daughter, you should take care of this boy” your mother interrupted. How could they do this to you?
“Let’s go, Aj” the boy looked at you with no sparkle in his eyes. You could tell he was devastated. And you were too. You could feel your heart being shattered into a thousand pieces.
On vacation, obviously you weren't going to give up on Ajax’s friendship, so you sent him secret letters every day - since your mother had confiscated your cell phone. But he didn't answered.
You thought it might be his mom who wouldn't let him send letters, so when your classes started again, you tried to talk to him.
The boy was in the library, reading a book very concentrated. “We can't do this” he whispered without looking at you. He looked around, like he was embarrassed that someone would see you talking with him.
“Come on, Aj! You gotta be kidding” you nudged him, trying to make the boy laugh.
“I'm serious” he looked into your eyes in a way that broke your heart. It couldn't be true. “You need to get out of here, I'm busy.”
You stood there for a few moments and left. Not even noticing that a few tears were falling from your eye. Your first friend in Nevermore already hated you and haven’t done anything.
In class, Ajax talked to everyone normally, but he refused to look at your face. The rarely looks that he gave you were filled with sadness. He got close to Enid and Xavier - he spoke to them the way he spoke to you and it made your heart break even more.
Even though time passed, every vacation you had, you tried to find out what happened between your families, but you haven’t found anything.
“Mom, but forbidding me to talk to Ajax is surreal! Why so much hate between you and his family?” you insisted on every family dinner.
“Still not over it, y/n? Have you fallen in love with a gorgon?” your mother teased you.
“Of course not!” she smiled satisfied by your answer and it drove you crazy. “But what if I were, what would you do?” your mother gave you a death glare.
“Is this boy trying to make contact with you?”
“No, because you forbade us to talk!” you snapped.
“Honey, if he cared about your friendship, he would’ve gone after you...which didn’t happened.” the woman said like she was deathly sorry for you. If you could, you would leave your house and never come back again.
“You disgraced my life in Nevermore.” you leave the table.
“I think she needs a therapist” you heard your father whisper across the table.
But this year you swore it would be different. As much as you hated to admit it, your mother was right. If Ajax still wanted to be your friend he would at least smile at you. So the best thing you could do for your mental health was to give up trying to find a reason for your ‘breakup’ and enjoy the year in Nevermore.
And so you did, you met a funny girl - Wednesday Addams - she barely smiled, didn't even show much affection, but she shared her thoughts and theories about the monster that was in town with you.
“I think you're the only decent person after Enid in this school” she affirmed and you took it as the best compliment you had ever received in your life.
You also started seeing a boy. His name was Ryan - he was tall, brunette, dark skinned. He was handsome and fun. You were missing so bad to laugh with someone that it turned into something bigger.
“I think we should date, like boyfriend and girlfriend thing” Ryan whispered to you one day while you were studying in the library. Your hand sweated and your heart raced. You felt like you were more scared than excited.
You felt that the boy was strange today, his legs were always shaking. He seemed distant and you didn't want to disturb him. Thought it was a problem with his grades - but now you realized that it could be the nervousness of asking you to be his girlfriend.
“W-what?” you stuttered, not knowing if it was true or not. You thought you didn’t matched in that way, he was nothing like you. “Are you serious?” the boy just smiled but you felt like it wasn’t a honest gesture.
"Great, girlfriend! We're dating now" he yelled for the entire library to hear. Some applauded, others asked for silence and you still didn't know how to react. What just happened here?
The next day, the news had already spread throughout the school. Even Weems came to talk to you. “Congratulations on your relationship, y/n! But I don't want to see him go to your room at night!” she laughed. “I remember my teenage days like it was yesterday.” she threw a wink in your direction and walked away.
But you started to feel uncomfortable when you walked down the hall and everyone started whispering and looking at you. If there was one thing you hated, it was having attention towards you. Something Ryan loved.
“Are you alright?” Enid asked you as soon as you sat in your seat to start class.
“Apart from all those stares, I am” you flashed a smile at her and the girl put a hand on your arm.
“If you need anything I'm here, I ended up not posting this gossip on my blog, but that's because we're friends and I would hate to make you uncomfortable” she said making you confused.
“Thanks… I guess” you whispered the last sentence as soon as Tornhill entered the class
Your gaze met Ajax's who was staring at you as if you had just beaten him in a fencing duel, he was sad and nervous. This minimal interaction had been the only one in years. Your heart sped up and you hated the feeling.
At break, you spotted your boyfriend who was laughing with his friends. When they saw you, the boys moved away and Ryan looked a little nervous. He didn't even kissed you. Maybe it was because there were a lot of people around him still whispering about you.
“Everyone is talking about us!” you whispered to him.
“I know! And I'm so sorry, y/n! I swear it meant nothing to me.” he stammered.
“W-what?” you asked.
“Haven’t you heard?” he seemed relieved.
“Heard of what?” you murmured. Your attention turned to a murmur behind you.
“I can't believe Ryan hooked up with Barbara! I thought he and y/n were dating.”
“Not everything is as it seems, right?”
“He told me he asked Y/n to date just so she wouldn't feel so bad”
What the hell?
To be honest, you didn't feel sad that he had cheated on you, you felt embarrassed that everyone was gossiping about you the whole day and you didn’t even knew about that. You thought talking to Enid and getting the full story before you looked anyone in the face would be a great idea.
You couldn't even look at Ryan’s face again as he grabbed your arm trying to say something you weren’t able to hear. So you ran towards Enid's dorm.
You were so immersed in your own thoughts that you didn't even notice when you bumped into Ajax in the hallway, knocking over all five books the boy was holding in his hands. “I'm sorry” you murmured helping him pick it up. You thought he was going to fight you or ignore you like nothing happened - as he always did.
“You alright?” he asked still gathering some books.
“You know about it?” you asked and the boy answered you with a simple nod. You got mad at him for it. You'd rather he had just ignored you, because he didn't want to know about your life for all these years. Now that you had been 'chetead' he wanted to know how you were?
“Why do you care?” The boy swallowed hard and didn't give you any answers. You handed him the books and got back to what you really intended to do.
Enid told you that they had hooked up the day before Ryan asked you to be his girlfriend. Barbara - a girl you didn’t even know - was jealous and that's why she spread it to the whole school. “You really liked him?” the blonde asked you with a look of comfort. You knew you could trust her.
“To be honest, I don't think so. In fact, I didn't even say ‘yes’ when he asked me. I didn't disagree either... but I was in shock! I just didn't know what to do or what to say." you heard Wednesday snort and you and Enid looked over at the girl who seemed to be concentrated on her book.
“Ryan is the ugliest, dumbest person l've ever seen in my entire life!” you and Enid burst out laughing, Wednesday cracked a small smile.
“It's true, though, y/n, you deserve a person who wants to give you the world…” the blonde said holding your hands. “You and Ajax would be cute together” you felt your heart ache and tears gathered in your eye.
“Ajax and I are barely friends…” you knew that Enid was going to say something, but you chose to interrupt her. “| need to go up to my room, l'm a little tired and hungry! Thanks for everything girls, see you later.”
On the same night, when you got to your dorm, you thanked Bianca for being a girl who stayed in the library studying at midnight, so you would have free time to put your thoughts in order. As soon as you started to think about what happened in your day, all of your thoughts turned to books on the floor and a simple question. “You alright?”
You rolled over in bed trying to think about your boyfriend... ex boyfriend or whatever! And you were stressed for not being able to feel even an ounce of sadness for the cheating. In fact, you didn't even know if you could call it cheating, because it was supposed to be something sad and coming from someone you loved, but you didn't love Ryan.
So your thoughts - these were treacherous indeed - went back to every moment of your childhood that you spent next to Ajax. And how your separation hurt. That was a real feeling, someone you loved couldn’t be with you. And you hated him for not fighting for your friendship.
You hated him for every look he threw your way. Hated it when he didn't look. Hated that he talked with Enid the same way he did with you. You hated yourself for still having such strong feelings for him that you couldn't get over even after all these years.
The tears finally ran down your cheeks, and they became uncontrollable, you started sobbing. It was suffocating. You wanted to scream, you wanted to smack something, but all you did was lie in bed and try to sleep.
When you started to stop crying and feel sleep coming on, someone knocked on your door. “Who is it?” you screamed from your bed. Sometimes it could just be a prank that freshmen girls did, or it could be Bianca who forgot her key.
“It's me.” Ajax. Your heart went into your mouth. You couldn't open the door, your face was red and swollen from crying.
“What do you want?” you asked, getting up from the bed and heading towards the door.
“I just want to talk, okay?” he said quietly. Ok, you would have to open the door, it would be very impolite if you didn't.
You ran to the bathroom and washed your face hoping it wasn't so obvious that you had been crying all night because of him. He would think it was because of Ryan, though.
When you opened the door, you felt your heart beat even faster. He was gorgeous it actually hurts. He carried a box of chocolate in his hand, the box you shared when you were kids. You also noticed that his eyes were black and his nose was bleeding.
You didn’t say a word, you went to your bathroom to clean him.
“Are you crying?” he asked as soon as he entered your dorm.
“I was trying to sleep” you dodged the question.
“I didn't know that trying to sleep you needed to cry” he opened a sarcastic smile, but you remained serious. You weren't going to talk to him like you'd been friends forever. You started to clean the boy’s nose.
“What happened here?” you asked softly, and the boy looked at your eyes and you already knew the answer. He was fighting with Ryan.
“Sorry.” he whispered.
“For what exactly?” you teased and he looked at the floor.
“A lot of things” he whispered. “I don’t know where to start.”
“Ajax, I don't even know if you can explain yourself to me! You didn't want to fight for our friendship. Maybe I wasn't as important to you as you were to me-“
“That's not true and you know it” he interrupted you.
“No, I don't! How am I supposed to know if you started to despise me, you wouldn't even look at me.” you already felt your tears coming back.
“Just answer me one thing” he approached you, your heart was beating too fast. “Were you crying for Ryan?” Ouch. he touched your wound, but you wouldn't lie. You swallowed.
“No.” he closed his eyes for a few seconds, suppressing a smile, murmuring ‘good’. His croaky voice made you weak. Ajax knew he was the reason you were crying for.
“So let me explain” you walked away from him and sat on your bed, waiting for him to start. “Well, you know our moms aren't friends. And I questioned why all vacation that year.” At least it wasn't just you.
“I found a very beautiful knife in my grandfather's office, I asked him what it was and he told me that that knife should only be used to kill people of your species.” What? You started to get nervous. “He told me that a long time ago, a man of your kind had a relationship with a gorgon who was married... it turned out that they fought for their honor and the lover ended up winning... killing a gorgon.” This was looking like a book story, you were outraged. “So to this day our species hate each other.”
“But we could have fought it, that's no reason to-“
“You haven't changed at all, y/n! I'm not done yet…” you held back a laugh and he noticed, opening a shy smile. “I did something I had never done before, I argued with my family. I told you that you were the most special person I had ever known, that tradition could be broken, that we could declare peace.” he swallowed hard before starting. “But then they said that they would put people to observe us, and if anyone saw us together, they would hurt you.” he said. “And you know that Weems is a friend of my parents. Maybe you didn't realize it, but she watched us all day, if it wasn't her, it was Professor Tornhill.” Wow. “And I decided to stay away from you, to protect you, but you don't know how much it hurt me” he sat by your side and put his hand on his head. “And then I saw you with Ryan, like come on? He's an idiot!” you didn't know what to do or what to say.
You spent a few minutes with him in the same position. His nose made a noise and you knew he was crying. Shit. “I was worried that someone would say something to you that would upset you or do something to you and I wouldn't be there to protect you” he finally lifted his head and wiped away the tears. “So I didn't know what to do, if I stayed close, they would hurt you, if I stayed away, I couldn't protect you! I hate this! I hate that we've been put in this situation. I hate that there's no way out of this. But worst of all, I hate that I love you.” What? He loved you? Wow. Your hand began to sweat. Again.
“What made you change your mind?” you asked.
“I know I can't take this anymore. I can't hear your name on everyone's lips, knowing that there are people out to hurt you. I know my life would be so much easier if I wasn't in love with you. I promised to stay away from you, but I can’t. You are the bane of my existence. And I want… need to be with you, no matter the consequences.” he looked into your eyes and held your hand, you smiled, your entire body feeling warm, with a few tears falling from your eyes.
“I’m determined to leave my house if I have to. Let's create our own lives. I honestly don’t give a fuck about people say. We are destined to be together, I've never even thought that I could love someone as hard as i love you.” you walked up to him and wiped away a tear on his face.
You kissed him and it was a little wet due to crying. But it was sweet. It was desperate. You knew you love him. And you loved him so much, that it was killing you.
“I love you” he whispered against your mouth.
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jinhyun · 7 months
Text
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↬part two
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"then I think about summer, all the beautiful times
i watched you laughin' from the passenger's side"
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pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader
genre: written series, angst, fluff, friends to lovers to exes to lovers, she fell first but he fell harder, yearning, mutual pining, non-idol au, baker!y/n, movie producer!hyunjin.
word count: 11.3k
warnings: y/n has self-sabotaging tendencies, cursing, mentions of alcohol, eventual smut, mature content, MINORS DNI!!!
tag list: open. send me an ASK to be a part of it, otherwise i might miss it. i will only be adding people who are willing to reblog the chapters and/or comment on them, because it does take time out of my day to tag everyone and likes or straight up cricket noises do nothing for me in return if i'm honest.
a/n: helloo, it's been a long time but here we are again with a new part. this turned out longer than i expected and i apologise, but i wanted to mainly show how these two got together and how it was that things started off for them, as well as how the dynamic of their friend group used to be before everything went down. in other words, and as you can see in the verse of the song i quoted, this part's gonna be more on the fluffy side (but not completely lol), so i hope you enjoy this small part of their story!
feedback is very dearly appreciated<3
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You had never been a big fan of packing, but you were quite excited about the trip with your friends the next day. To be honest, you did not used to be a big fan of camping either, until that first year in college when summer came and Jeongin mentioned this one place he and his family used to go camping when he was little.
Everyone was so excited about it that you couldn't say no. Seungmin wouldn't have let you miss out on it and abandon him anyway.
And, in the end, you were glad you hadn't stayed home instead. It turned out to be a really precious bonding time for all of you, to the point that you all agreed to make it a summer vacation tradition — every single year of college, without missing a beat, all eleven of you would drive outside the city and ventour into the forest to have what you liked to call your much needed healing time.
Although the entirety of your friend group had graduated college last year, you had promised to keep making time for your yearly camping trip.
Minji hadn't been able to keep that promise that particular year, given she got an internship in the States and had left a little over a month and a half before summer started. She had promised over and over before leaving that she would most definitely make it next year, and you were all counting on that.
You were sad that she wouldn't make it, for now you would only have Hyejin to fight the potentially annoying male species you'd be hanging out with.
And there was also the fact that you thought Hyunjin wouldn't feel like going anymore. Sure, he would go, for he had promised and he loved spending time with all of you, but a part of you believed he wouldn't be the same since Minji wouldn't be there — that he wouldn't be as eager about the trip as he always was.
It was the way he hugged her and visibly didn't want to let go when you had all gone to send her off and she was about to walk through security. After witnessing that, you had convinced yourself that Hyunjin wouldn't be himself until she came back.
You had decided to give him space. You knew you'd be the same if you ever lost Seungmin, and that without being in love with him. 
It would be good for you, too. Giving Hyunjin space and letting him find himself without his beloved best friend meant not seeing him for a while, and therefore, finally being able to focus on moving on from your stupid crush on him.
Only that you wanting to give him space didn't exactly mean he wanted to take that space away from you. So you knew when not even a week after Minji's departure he was calling you up to hang out.
Most of your friends would be there, minus Felix and Hyejin, who had already made plans alone, so you accepted. It had started out just like that, at least — hanging out with your group of friends, the way you always had. But now his attention was only on you, and his eyes would oh-so-naturally fix on you like it was their default target.
It didn't stop there. Hanging out with everyone else yet only focusing on you turned into making plans for just the two of you. You had been ecstatic the first time he asked you out — as friends, of course. He had a shitty day at work and wanted to go out for some coffee, but he didn't feel like being around a large group of people. You accepted in a heartbeat, so happy about getting to spend some time alone with him that you completely forgot about the whole 'getting over him' goal you had going on.
So happy to finally get the attention you wanted from him, that you didn't stop for one second to think whether he would be asking you to get some coffee with him if Minji were still here.
But it didn't matter, because one coffee date turned into two, and then two turned into three. Friendly dates turned into 'oh, maybe this is not so friendly' ones. Sunset walks turned into watching movies at either one of your places. Late night calls on the days you didn't get to see each other turned into texting all throughout the day, every day; which led to getting goodnight and good morning text messages with definitely-not-so-friendly hearts attached to them.
Just like that, Hyunjin was just as eager as every other year to go on this trip. And you? God, you couldn't wait for the day to arrive so you could spend even more time with him. You were mainly expectant of the bonfire at night — you had always loved the way the fire illuminated his factions from afar. He always managed to look extra cozy and your heart would flutter with every single glimpse. This year, though, you hoped you'd get to sit next to him, and maybe, if you were lucky enough, you'd get to share a blanket with him; as childish as it sounded.
Your daydreaming got interrupted by your phone buzzing on your night table, making you jump from your bed to pick it up and then feel your heart do a backflip when you read Hyunjin's name on the screen.
Fixing your hair as fast as you could and making sure your face looked presentable enough for him to see, you answered his video call. 
"Hey, cutie" he greeted as soon as your face was visible on the screen.
You smiled timidly, feeling the heat reach your cheeks at the sound of that simple pet name. "You do realise it's midnight, don't you?"
"You answered anyway" he smirked triumphantly, earning a roll of eyes from you. "Why? Did I wake you?"
"No," you shook your head, looking down to your packed bag on your bed. "I was kinda going through everything I needed to pack, to make sure I won't forget anything".
"Well, in case you forgot to pack mosquito repellent like last year, I'm glad to inform you I've kindly packed some for you".
A small, breathy laugh escaped your mouth. "Why, thank you" you brought a dramatic hand to your chest. "Did I really traumatize you last year for that to be the first thing to come to mind when packing for me?"
"I wouldn't say traumatized…" he mumbled, looking down to what you guessed was his bag, as he unzipped it. "But you did make me so fucking worried when you came out of your tent that morning all covered in mosquito bites, so…"
Watching him show the repellent bottle to the camera, you couldn't help the throaty laugh that ran past your mouth this time, hearing him follow along the moment the sound you made reached his ears.
"You really didn't have to…"
"Did you remember to pack it this time?" he tested you.
"No, but—but," you quickly emphasized at the sight of his daring eyes. "Minnie always brings some. I was just too lazy to go up to his tent at night when I realised I hadn't asked him for it last year. I didn't think it would be that bad".
"Well, now you've got your own personal bottle of it" he pointed out, stuffing it back into his bag. "So no need to go to his tent if you forget to ask him for it again".
Too enchanted by that thoughtful act of service of his, you didn't realise you were staring until he blushed and cleared his throat.
"What?" he shyly asked.
"Huh?" you snapped out of it.
"I don't know, I… you weren't like, saying anything and—"
"Oh, no, I just…" you felt your cheeks burn once again. "Thank you. You're cute".
He laughed breathily, almost inaudibly. "I'm cute?"
"You know what I mean" you glared.
"I'd like to think you mean something else, though…"
You needed to take a deep, rather shaky, breath at that. Keeping yourself composed was not an easy thing to do when he said things like that.
"So, um… What were you calling for?"
He shrugged, letting you get away with your change of subject and lying back on his mattress. "Just wanted to talk to you".
"At midnight?" you raised an eyebrow.
"Got a problem with it?"
"Not really," you chuckled. "But we're seeing each other in a couple of hours, in case you forgot".
"Oh, I'm well aware of it," he nodded, tiredly placing an arm over his eyes. "Still wanted to talk to you before going to bed".
"Clingy" you teased.
The smile that curved up the corners of his plump lips made you wish you were there with him, lying your head on his chest and playing with his hair, instead of having to settle down for seeing him through a screen.
"It's gonna be a different trip this time around, huh?" you mumbled after a few seconds in which silence had taken over.
"Yeah…" he agreed quietly, removing his arm from his face and lying on his side. "It's gonna be weird without Minji".
You hummed in response. "I'll only have Hyejin to fight you guys now, and that's when she and Lix aren't all over each other".
"You'll have me, though" he smiled innocently.
You snorted. "Please, you'd drop me in a heartbeat to join the guys when they pick on me".
"That is so not true" he argued, squinting his eyes at you.
"I guess we'll see what happens when the time comes," you taunted him. "You think you'll still be able to have as much fun?"
"You mean without Minji?"
You nodded silently, bracing yourself for the answer you didn't want to know yet had not been able to stop yourself from asking about.
"Sure," he nodded confidently, making your heart feel at ease. "I've got you, it's gonna be just as fun".
"You think so?" you whispered.
"Of course!" he reassured you. "Let's go in the same car tomorrow, we can sit together and share earphones".
"I'm taking Changbin's car" you pointed out.
"Cool," he nodded. "I'll let him know I'm taking his too, then".
"No but, you know what that means, right?"
His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Not really…"
You chuckled. "It means he'll make me go on the passenger seat so I can lead the way for him, since he always seems to miss the entrance to the camping site".
"Can't he have someone else to do it?"
"He doesn't really trust any of the guys when it comes to giving directions," you shook your head. "And I respect him for it, honestly. Last time we had Felix give out directions we nearly ended up in Busan".
He puffed his cheeks cutely, in a way that had your heart melting in a second. "Good thing Airpods are a thing then. We can still share".
"And miss Binnie's carpool?"
"You know what, if you hate me just say so".
A throaty laugh escaped your mouth at his salty remark, staring at him through the screen in such a loving way that for a second there you feared he would realise your feelings for him.
"I guess we can share Airpods" you rolled your eyes in amusement, having him happily laugh under his breath. "Don't be too surprised when I start singing along to whatever Binnie's playing on the radio, though".
"I will feel slightly neglected but I get it" he sighed overdramatically.
Covering the yawn coming out of your mouth with your hand, you sleepily stared at him on the screen. "We should go to sleep now…"
"Are you trying to get rid of me now?"
"I'm sleepy..."
"But you look so cute like that" he cooed.
"It's nearly one in the morning, Hwang Hyunjin" you tried your best to sound stern and hide your smile. "We leave at seven".
"Alright," he sighed once more, closing his eyes. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow then?"
You nodded, a small smile making its way on your face. "See you tomorrow, Hyunie".
He smiled blissfully. "See you tomorrow, cutie".
-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡
"Can we stop to get some food?" Seungmin asked from the backseat.
You laughed over Changbin's heavy sigh next to you. It had only been half an hour since you left Seoul, and there was still another hour to go, yet you couldn’t say you were entirely surprised over your best friend’s request.
The trip had been smooth so far, way too smooth — Changbin and Jeongin loudly singing to any song that came on the playlist being the only sense of disruption in the car. You remained silently staring out the window, lightly bopping your head to the beat of the music coming from the Airpod you were sharing with Hyunjin. It was a funny contrast, having Binnie and Innie singing at the top of their lungs to nothing but upbeat songs, while Hyunjin and you listened to slower, calmer ones and quietly stared at the passing scenery outside.
The somewhat balanced atmosphere you all had managed to create was just bound to be disrupted by your best friend at some point.
"I asked you all if you wanted to stop for food before hitting the highway and you said you wanted to have breakfast at the camping site".
Seungmin pouted, childishly sinking against his seat and crossing his arms over his chest. "I wanted to live the full camping experience, but I take it back now, I'm hungry".
"Well, too bad because I'm not stopping until we get there".
Hearing Seungmin whine behind you in what sounded more like a tantrum, you couldn't help but laugh, staring at him through the rearview mirror before your eyes unconsciously fixed on Hyunjin by the window. He was laughing over your best friend's scene too, and his eyes were already on you. You held his stare through the reflection for a moment, enjoying the sight of his smile and the sound of his giggle before you looked down in a poor attempt to calm your racing heart.
Clearing your throat, you reached down to the backpack by your feet and rummaged through it until you found the snacks you had packed that morning before heading out, precisely in case something like this happened.
Without a word, you reached your hand behind your seat, giggling to yourself when you felt the pack of cookies being snatched from your hold not even a second later.
"You're the best, I swear to God" Seungmin managed to say with his mouth already full. "You better be selling these at our coffee shop once we open it".
You chuckled. "I will".
"Wait, those are homemade?" Jeongin asked from the middle seat.
"Mhm…" you nodded, leaning slightly back when he peeked his head through your seat.
"You have more?"
"Take some from Seungm—"
"No way, they're mine" Seungmin growled.
Rolling your eyes, you leaned down to your backpack once more, defeatedly looking for another bag of cookies you had thankfully packed as well.
"These are double chocolate chips," you let Jeongin know as you handed them to him. "Please share them with Hyunjin in case he wants some".
"I do want some!" he stated from behind, having your amused eyes instinctively fix on him through the rearview mirror, right as he eagerly dug his hand into the bag.
"And what about me?" Changbin whined. "You all are lucky I care about your lives and can't just turn around and snatch them from you right now".
You chuckled, reaching your hand behind your seat, and opening your palm. "Minnie".
The sound of his name coming out of your mouth was all it took for a single cookie to be reluctantly placed on it.
"Here," you called Changbin's attention, motioning for him to open his mouth.
"Is it red velvet?" he asked, opening his mouth and taking a bite regardless, as he was ready to eat whatever it was you decided to feed him. 
As soon as he tasted them, he dramatically threw his head back and hit the border of the steering wheel.
"Fuck! They're so good".
You laughed, lightheartedly shaking your head at his reaction. Not even ten seconds later, he was opening his mouth again and leaning slightly over your side for you to feed him the remaining of the cookie you had managed to get from Seungmin.
Having fed him and watching him happily munch on it, you leaned back against your seat, closing your eyes to go back to listening to Hyunjin's playlist like you had been doing before this whole cookies situation took place — only for Traitor by Olivia Rodrigo to start playing.
Almost jumping from your seat, you turned around, staring at Hyunjin in utter disbelief while your jaw comically dropped.
"You did not just do that" you accused him.
He chuckled, staring down with a proud smirk at the unlocked phone in his hands as he seemed to look for another song. His point had already been made.
"What happened?" Jeongin wondered.
"Nothing, Hyunjin's just an idiot" you replied, tauntingly squinting your eyes at Hyunjin, only for his smile to grow.
"At least I'm not a traitor" his smile turned into a cynical smirk.
"A traitor why?" Seungmin's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"Who's a traitor?" Changbin joined in.
"It's nothing" Hyunjin brushed it off, his eyes never leaving yours.
"Oh, so you guys have reached the internal jokes stage now?" 
"Shut up…" you felt the heat reach your face, turning around to sit properly and look ahead to the road.
Olivia’s voice stopped being heard, and it was replaced by Lauv’s, as I Like Me Better began to play. You looked down to your lap and tried to contain your smile. It had been ages since you last listened to that song, and a part of you, the delusional one that was head over heels for Hyunjin, wanted to believe he was dedicating it to you right then.
Looking out the window when you managed to conceal your blissfulness and everyone seemed to already be back in their own world, you decided to just focus on the road and stop giving too much thought to the song choice of his throughout the ride. He was using a playlist after all.
Nevertheless, you couldn’t help your mind from wandering and daydreaming all the way to the camping site, making it hard for you to focus on your duty as the designated human GPS.
You weren't sure if Changbin was right about you and Hyunjin having reached the 'internal jokes stage' yet, but you realised later that day that you had definitely reached some kind of complicity. You couldn't put your finger on when along the journey of the two of you growing closer it happened, but now your eyes would naturally lock whenever someone said anything slightly funny or even questionable. It was as if you wanted, needed, to share even the most minimal and mundane of things with each other.
And you hadn't noticed it was that obvious to everyone else until Hyejin pointed it out when you were setting up your tent later that afternoon. To say you were struggling a little bit was an understatement; it was a tent for three, and usually Minji was there to help set it up as well. You would definitely have some extra room that night.
Still, as focused on finding the correct corner of the fabric to stake it to the ground as she was, Hyejin managed to bring the topic up.
"So, what's going on with you and Hyunjin?"
"What do you mean?" you frowned, letting go of the fabric you were holding onto.
"Oh, come on, I'm not blind" she squinted her eyes. "Something definitely changed between you two".
"I mean, yeah, but…" you shrugged. “We’re just closer now, I guess”.
“I’ve seen the heart eyes, Y/N”.
“As if my heart eyes for him are anything new”.
“I meant his”.
You went silent, feeling your cheeks heat up and your hands shake. To have someone else notice it, too, only made it feel more real.
“You guys need help?” Felix interrupted before you could try and say anything back.
His arm was naturally resting over Hye’s shoulders, and although she visibly appreciated the offer, she settled for an obnoxious roll of eyes.
“We’re not damsels in danger” she playfully shoved his arm off.
Felix snorted. “Maybe not but you guys are clearly struggling here”.
“I could use some help” you admitted, getting a triumphant smile from Lix before he grabbed the fabric you had let go of a minute ago and began to stake it to the ground.
“But what about our girl talk” Hyejin pouted.
“Girl talk?” Felix looked at her with furrowed eyebrows.
She nodded, and just like that his eyes went to you — realisation hitting him in a second.
“Let me guess, you guys are talking about Hyunjin”.
You nearly choked on air. “We're not”.
"We're not?" Hyejin teased you, receiving a glare from you in a heartbeat.
“Ah, you guys can go on then" Felix nodded understandingly, with a glimpse of a smirk curving up his lips. "I already know all about it anyway".
Hyejin raised both hands up in defense when your glare was once again on her. "Don't look at me, remember he's Hyunjin's best friend after all".
Lix's smirk was now on full display. "I know things neither of you two know".
"There's not much to know, though? Right?" you awkwardly fidgeted in your place. "Hyunjin doesn't talk about me, does he?"
Felix and Hyejin exchanged an incredulous look, deciding right then to just leave it there and let you figure it out on your own. They knew you well enough to know you wouldn’t believe any of it unless you heard it directly from Hyunjin; and maybe even then you would still doubt it all.
“Anyway,” Felix shrugged, going back to his previous task. “Let’s set this shit up”.
“Language!” Hyejin reprimanded him.
You laughed at the exchange, going over to Hyejin so you could work together while Felix focused on the other corner of your tent. Even though you could feel their stares on you, you were just glad the topic seemed to be over with.
-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡
Turned out that setting up a tent with Felix and Hyejin was just a call to be kicked out of it as soon as it was done, so they could take a nap inside and just like that make you their third wheel. Not like you really cared, for you took a blanket and placed it under one of the trees that were farther away from everyone. 
Lying down on it, you used your arms as a pillow while you looked up to the bright green leaves and the rays of sunshine peeking through them. You truly loved this camping site. It was quiet, with enough space for your entire group and the right amount of distance from other campers in the area.
The grass was green and abundant, the trees provided enough shadow for you not to go mad over how hot the summer weather was, and there was a lake only a five-minute walk from there. You would probably go there a little before the sun set; everyone seemed to be too immersed in their own activities to propose a walk to the lake anytime soon.
Seungmin and Jeongin were still setting up their tent, as they had been too busy whining about having to set it up before to actually do it. Chan, Han and Changbin were drinking and chatting the afternoon away, after having managed to clean up and put everything from your lunch away, since they had been chosen to be on cleaning up duty by a very fair game of rock, paper, scissors. Minho was lying on a blanket a few meters from you, scrolling through his phone. Felix and Hyejin were napping; and Hyunjin… you actually had no idea where Hyunjin was.
“Wanna go to the lake?”
As if reading your thoughts, there he was, kneeling on the edge of your blanket as he patiently waited for your answer.
You tilted your head up to look at him, still a bit stunned over both his timing and his suggestion. Nevertheless, you nodded, not having to think twice before you sat up.
“Are the others coming?”
“Nah,” he shrugged, standing up and giving you a hand to help you up as well. “They said they’re going later”.
“Shouldn’t we wait for them then?” you quietly asked.
Hyunjin brought a dramatic hand up to his chest. “If you don’t wanna be alone with me just say so”.
You scoffed, acting just as offended as he was. “That’s not what I said at all?!”
“Then?” he smiled, tilting his head in the lake’s direction.
Rolling your eyes while the biggest of smiles took over your face, you followed him. He knew the way to the lake by heart, you realised, as he seemed to avoid branches you wouldn’t have noticed were there if it weren’t for him dodging them before you. Although maybe it just had to do with the fact that you were too focused on him to pay attention to your surroundings.
After five minutes in which thankfully you made it out intact, you finally reached your destination. You smiled at the view of the crystalline water and the strong reflection of the sun on it, which you had to look away from in order not to be blinded. It looked the same as every other year, and a part of you was happy it remained the same throughout the time.
“Where are you going?” Hyunjin asked, eyebrows furrowing in confusion when you started walking towards the water.
“To lie down?” you answered, in what had seemed like more of a question.
“Not here” he shook his head.
“Why not?”
“Minho and Changbin are fishing here later”.
“So?”
“So, you know how loud those two are when they get frustrated” he reminded you, walking over to you and taking your hand so he could drag you with him. “I came here to recharge”.
Too stunned over the unexpected feel of his strong yet soft hand holding yours, you didn’t even object. You simply let him take you whenever it was he wanted to take you to — heart eyes stuck to the back of his head as he led the way.
“Recharge?” you mocked him regardless.
"Yeah?" he said, as if it was obvious. "Don't you need time to be alone and recharge after being with too many people for too long?"
"It's not even dinner time yet".
"And I'm already drained".
You chuckled at his tiresome remark, but decided to just leave it at that when you reached a bunch of rocks that blocked the way.
“Where exactly are we going?” you wondered, confusedly letting go of his hand when he began to climb them.
"Come here" he called, reaching his hand out for you.
“You want to lay down on top of these rocks?” you questioned, taking his hand nonetheless and allowing him to help you up. “Like, the view might be better, but I’m pretty sure lying down on sand is way better than lying down on a bunch of hard as hell rocks”.
“Oh, hush,” he amusedly shut you up, placing a gentle hand to your back after having let you go first so he could make sure you wouldn’t slip —and that he would catch you in case you did—. “You just keep climbing up and shut that pretty mouth of yours”.
You shut your mouth; not because he told you to, but because his words sounded lovely —although taunting— enough to bring heat to your cheeks and make you forget how to speak altogether.
He could tell the way you were feeling, you realised when you heard a breathy laugh escape his mouth. He was enjoying it too much, but it was fair, considering he wanted to have that kind of effect on you.
Thankfully, the climb up the rocks wasn’t that high, otherwise the tension taking over while his hand remained on your back and his heavy breathing would faintly hit your shoulder every other second, might’ve become too overwhelming for you to survive.
As soon as you reached the top and took a seat to look around, you were confused. You weren’t sure exactly where it was that he wanted you to go to next or even where to look at once up there, so you just turned around to him with knitted eyebrows as he finished climbing up and took a seat next to you. However, after taking what felt like five seconds to catch his breath, he stood up.
“Okay, now let’s go down” he offered his hand once more to help you up.
“What? Like, to the same place we just came up from?”
He chuckled, amusedly shaking his head before he leaned down to grab your upper arm and help you up. “Will you just trust me on this?”
“I mean, you could be taking me to my deathbed right now and I wouldn’t even know”.
He rolled his eyes, carefully guiding you over to the other end of the rocks, so you could begin your two minutes journey down. “Everyone knows you’re with me right now, wouldn’t be really smart for me to murder you”.
“Reassuring” you smiled cynically, earning a throaty laugh from him and a light —actually reassuring— squeeze from his hand.
Without another word, you let him help you on your way down. It was cute how focused he was on making sure you wouldn’t have trouble with it and wouldn’t get hurt, to the point he tripped at one point; thankfully only right before you reached the safety of the ground, so it didn’t really matter.
"What even is this place?" you breathily let out, turning around to finally take a look at your surroundings.
It was only then that you realised what he had meant by ‘alone’ and ‘recharging’. The place he had taken you to seemed to be another shore within the same lake; a much smaller one, which could comfortably fit around five or six people at most.
The rocks formed some kind of fence around a few meters of the lake, which was tall enough to keep people from seeing what was on the other side, and which made most of them —you included— believe that was all there was to it: Just a bunch of rocks.
Only the curious ones who were willing to climb said bunch of rocks for no apparent reason, like Hyunjin, were privileged enough to discover such a gemstone.
"I don't even know, to be honest" Hyunjin laughed, walking up to the spot close to the water where one of the rocks blocked the sun and provided some shadow. "Found it the first time we came here. Minji and I were taking a walk and I felt like climbing all the way up the rocks and came across this place. I don't think anyone knows about it".
"Well, I surely didn't" you confirmed, looking around in awe. It almost felt cozy, like a small fort you would build as a child. "You and Minji did a pretty good job at keeping it from us".
"Oh, Minji doesn't know about it".
You stopped in your tracks, almost not believing your ears. "She… she doesn't?"
"Nope," he shrugged, sitting down on the sand and patting the spot next to him for you to do the same. 
When you hesitated, visibly having a hard time believing him, he sighed.
"Why'd you even believe I told her?"
"I mean… Wasn’t she with you?” you questioned, finally sitting down next to him.
He shook his head no. “She didn’t want to climb up with me. I mean, she was wearing a dress, so I guess it’s understandable” a chuckle abandoned his lips, and a bittersweet smile crept up in yours over the fact that he even remembered what she was wearing on the first day you ever came here years ago. “But yeah, I saw this place from all the way up and just kept it to myself. I could use some peace of mind during these trips”.
“You say it like we’re chaotic as hell” you laughed.
“Aren’t you?” he taunted.
You playfully shoved him away. “You should really include yourself in that sentence, Hwang Hyunjin”.
“Nah, I don’t think I belong there” he denied, having a hard time holding his smile. “Which is why I kept this place all to myself this far”.
You bit your lip, concealing a smile not to show how flattered you were to be the first and only person he had ever shared this place with — for not only had he told you about it, but he had taken it upon himself to pull you away from your group of friends and take you all the way here with him.
“Minji would be so mad if she ever found out you kept this from her…”
Hyunjin shrugged, resting his head on yours and making goosebumps form on your skin. “I don’t have to share everything with her”.
“She’s your best friend, though” you pointed out.
“So?” he asked, sitting up. “Do you share everything with Seungmin?”
You stayed quiet. He had a point. You did mainly share everything with him, from your achievements to your failures, and from your happiness to your sadness. But there were still a few things you kept to yourself, like the way you had felt about Hyunjin all along. Yes, he knew you had a bit of a crush on him, and he also knew you had grown closer since Minji left, but your actual feelings for the guy next to you, he had no idea about.
Your feelings for Hyunjin were something you had decided to keep to yourself and deal with on your own. There was too much at stake, and you wanted to believe you’d have enough control over the situation in case things went south. As long as you didn’t tell anyone, even if it was obvious in their eyes, you liked to believe you would be able to just forget about it all at the snap of your fingers.
Hyunjin nodded to himself at your silence — unaware of what was going through your mind yet knowing that just like that he had proven his point.
“Besides, she’s a blabbermouth. She would’ve told everyone else by now”.
You snorted, looking down for a moment to hold your laughter and missing the way his eyes lit up at the sight of you. "I'm telling her you called her that".
"Ugh, don't tell me I brought a snitch to my precious secret spot" he whined, dramatically resting his head on your shoulder. "Is that all, though?"
"Hm?" 
"I was supposed to tell her because she's my best friend?"
“No, but…” you stayed quiet for a moment, pondering whether you should say what was at the tip of your tongue or not. "It's just…"
"What is it?" he straightened up, furrowing his eyebrows as he waited for your answer.
"This is such a stereotypical making out spot".
He snorted, disbelief written all over his face. "What?"
"Yeah, like, think of all the couples that have found this place at some point and used it to do their thing".
"Ew," he cringed, glaring at you right after. "You did not just ruin my favourite spot for me".
"I'm just saying," you laughed, playfully shoving away the accusatory finger of his that was pointing at you. "This is like, the perfect making out spot to bring the person you have feelings for".
"I brought you, didn't I?"
Your cheeks were hit by a rush of heat instantly, and not even lowering your head helped you hide from him what his words had done to you.
"Stop…" you lightly shoved him away with your shoulder. "I guess it caught me off guard that you didn't bring her here at some point since you've always been in love with her".
"In love with her?" He looked incredulous; you just nodded. "I'm not, though?"
"Hyunjin…" you murmured, almost begging for him not try and fool you.
"I haven't always been in love with her…" he mumbled, looking down for a second before his eyes locked with yours. "Definitely am not in love with her anymore".
You smiled bittersweetly. "Right".
"I'm not, Y/N" he reassured you.
"Since when?" you wondered.
He said nothing — simply staring into your eyes was enough for you to have your answer.
Whatever was going on between the two of you was unspoken, recent, and therefore he couldn't give you a proper answer without having it turn out as a confession and risking scaring you away.
He wasn't confident enough to verbally confess the feelings he had caught for you this past month yet, but the sincerity in his eyes had managed to give you the answer you were looking for.
Since she left.
Since you and him grew closer together and something changed in the way he saw you.
"Is a month or so really enough to get over your best friend?" you mumbled.
"It's not like I was head over heels in love with her" he mindlessly played with the sand under his hands. "It was just… a little crush".
You laughed under your breath, shaking your head rather weakly as you laid your back on the sand — mentally scolding yourself for not having brought your blanket with you to lie down on.
A little crush. You should know about it. 
You were sure just a little crush wouldn't make him look at her the way he did, and it most definitely wouldn't have him unconsciously call her the most beautiful woman his eyes had ever seen.
But you were done arguing with him. In the end, it changed nothing — he did feel some type of way for her before she left; and even after she left, up until you had come up to change that now, apparently.
Besides, no matter how hard you tried to fight it, a part of you believed him. He looked at you different now. He acted different around you. And although you tried not to fall for it, deep down you knew it was already a lost battle.
Not knowing what to say nor what to feel about his advances, you closed your eyes. You could feel him staring at you for a while, yet you were too shy to acknowledge it, until he finally laid down next to you.
"Are we napping now?" Hyunjin asked, changing the topic after getting the hint about you no longer wanting to talk about the whole feelings thing.
"You said you wanted to come here to recharge, didn't you?" you smiled.
Although your eyes remained closed, you felt him smile brightly next to you. "And napping is your way of recharging?"
"Isn't it yours?"
"I just wanted to come here and spend some time with you, if I'm honest".
At that, you opened your eyes. Much to your surprise, his dark brown ones were already focused on you.
"Thank you…" you smiled sweetly.
He looked confused. "What for?"
"For trusting me with your precious secret spot" your choice of words had him rolling his eyes. "I won't tell anyone about it, I promise".
Hyunjin smiled, no longer being able to hold himself back and throwing an arm around your shoulders. You didn't fight back when he pulled you to his chest, if anything, you made yourself comfortable on it.
"In case it wasn't clear, even if you did tell someone, because I can’t really trust you with Seungmin,” his statement earned an incredulous scoff from you. “You're not allowed to come here with anyone else but me".
You chuckled, shaking your head and closing your eyes once more as you relaxed under his touch. "Would never even dream to betray you like that".
-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡
"What took you guys so long?" Chan asked as soon as you and Hyunjin arrived back.
The sun had already set a couple of minutes ago, and you were met with an already lit up bonfire while all your friends sat down around it.
You didn't even have the chance to play your late arrival off by silently sitting down until someone noticed you had finally made it back, for all their eyes were fixed on you since the second you reached your camping spot. Not even the few branches you had collected on your way back, to make it seem like you had wandered off together with the intention to collect some for the bonfire, would help you out of this situation.
Having everyone silently questioning you right then, you came to the conclusion that maybe taking a nap wasn't the brightest of your ideas — not when you were a proper five minute walk from your camping spot and hadn't set up an alarm to wake you up from the dream you were having in the arms of the person your heart felt most at peace with.
Hyunjin shrugged, refraining from giving them an actual answer as he nudged you to walk over to them and throw the thin pieces of wood you had collected into the fire, later taking a seat next to each other by it.
"You know what's funny?" Changbin spoke up next to you, with a hint of a smirk already showing on his face. "I'm pretty sure I saw them walking towards the lake, but when Minho and I got there later they were nowhere to be seen".
Once again, all eyes were on you. This time, though, you managed to see some dropped jaws.
"Did you guys get lost in the woods or something?" Han teased, rapidly moving his eyebrows up and down.
"I'm watching you, Hwang" Seungmin glared at him from the other side of the bonfire, earning a laugh from all of you.
Hyunjin raised both hands up, pleading innocence. "I did nothing".
"Did Y/N do something then?" Changbin teased.
You rolled your eyes, pressing a finger to your mouth "Quiet".
"Is that a yes?"
"Oh, my God" you whined, covering your face with both hands in embarrassment.
“Okay, okay. Leave the lovebirds alone” Hyejin came to your rescue — kind of.
“Have you guys had dinner yet?” you tried to change the subject.
“Nice save” Minho saluted you. “But no, we wanted to hang out here for a bit before. It got pretty cold”.
You nodded, silently. As if on cue, a light, cold breeze hit your body, making you hug yourself instinctively before you leaned closer to the fire and reached your hands out in hopes to get warmer.
Your eyes snapped back towards Hyunjin when you felt him leave your side, watching him go to the tent he was sharing with Lix and get something you could not quite tell apart from the distance, given how dark it was over there. When he got close enough to the bonfire again for you to see what he was holding, however, you smiled.
Before the words ‘thank you’ could even leave your mouth, he was placing a blanket over your shoulders and sitting down next to you. 
“Anyone else?” Hyunjin asked, holding out a spare blanket he had brought just in case.
“Me!” Hyejin raised her hand from three seats away, reaching for the blanket Hyunjin was now offering her and then throwing it around her body — in the matter of just one second managing to look like a burrito.
“Gotta step up your game, Felix” Han called him out, shaking his head in feigned disappointment.
“Fuck off” he glared at him, only for his girlfriend to laugh next to him and pull him into her embrace.
Felix smiled in adoration, resting his head on Hyejin’s while he made himself cozy under the blanket she had just shared with him.
“I just got called single in like five different languages” Han sulked.
You laughed at the scene playing in front of you. Well, mainly at Han and his antics, for you could only smile and stare in awe at the lovely couple cuddling right there. They were so happy. They had always been happy together, always so unproblematic, and you could only wish to ever be part of a relationship like that.
You didn’t want that with just anyone, though, and the fact that the person you wanted it with was sitting right next to you did not help your case at all. 
It was tough to be craving that much intimacy with someone who was right there, yet things weren’t clear enough between the two of you for you to just go for it.
You wanted to be able to do with Hyunijn what Hyejin had just done with Felix. You wanted to just rest your head on his shoulder and pull him into your embrace. You wanted to be close to him in every way possible, feeling his calm breathing next to you as you enjoyed the sight and warmth of the fire.
And maybe you were overthinking way too much, for sharing a blanket while camping was not that deep and it didn’t precisely have to mean anything, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to offer it to him, because, to you, it was that deep and it did mean something.
Silently staring at him as he had by now joined the new conversation you were not paying attention to, you felt your heart melt at the side view of his bright smile.
You didn't know how many minutes had gone by, but at one point you felt him shiver, and then lean towards the fire just like you had done before, as he looked for the warmth of it.
Looking down to the fluffy fabric hugging your body, you felt guilty to have taken his blanket when he clearly needed it too. You knew it was the chance you had been looking for to offer him to share it and that way cuddle him as platonically as you could, but after giving it a second thought you came to terms with the fact that you didn’t have enough courage to do so. Instead, you offered him the whole blanket.
“Huh?” Hyunjin questioned, taken aback when you took it off and handed it to him.
“You’re cold” you stated the obvious, motioning for him to take it.
“So are you” he pointed out.
“Yeah, but it’s your blanket”.
Hyunjin stayed silent for a couple of seconds, eyes going from you to the blanket in your hands and so on. Then, as if a lightbulb had just been lit up above his head, he smiled.
Taking the blanket from your hands, he threw it over your backs, making sure you’d hold onto the other end before he made himself cozier next to you.
“We can share”.
You bit your lip, lowering your head not to show the effect his actions had once more had on you. How could he make it look so simple? Just throw a blanket over your bodies, pull you closer and then say that you could share, like it was nothing?
A part of you was worried he would feel your heartbeat racing, even though your arm was the one leaning against him and not your chest. It was just beating that hard, and you grew even shyer when your eyes locked with Seungmin’s. Somehow, you felt like one look at you and Hyunjin snuggling up —if you could call it that— was all it took for him to figure everything out.
The crush you had told him about months ago, only then was confirmed right in front of his eyes not to only be one simple crush. And most definitely not a one sided one, like you had claimed it was back then.
“Something wrong?” Hyunjin asked quietly, leaning in towards your ear for only you to hear.
You shook your head no, smiling softly before turning your head to him. “Everything’s fine”.
Perfect, actually.
Hyunjin nodded, moving closer to you and hesitatingly bringing his hand up to hover your back. “Is it okay if I…”
Catching on with his intentions when he lightly tapped your back, you hummed in affirmation; tensing up for a second over the unknown feel of his hand on your waist, before you relaxed under his gentle, loving touch. You were nervous, of course, but it would've been odd for you not to ultimately feel at ease when his thumb began to draw small circles on the curve of your waist.
Maybe you got too carried away, or maybe you simply stopped worrying too much, but you found yourself resting your head on his shoulder — not even having time to doubt your own actions before his head was resting on yours.
As cliché as it was, you wished that moment would last forever. It felt so natural, like your head belonged on his shoulder and his hand belonged on your waist. Like you belonged together.
Your friends had silently agreed on not teasing you anymore; just carrying on with the conversation as if seeing you together like that was by now a daily occurrence.
Hyunjin pulled you closer, and with his lips faintly brushing the crown of your head, you began to doze off.
His phone buzzing in his pocket managed to stop you from falling asleep completely. However, he, too, was so immersed in the comfort your touch and warmth brought him, that he didn't even feel it moving directly against his body.
"Your phone" you quietly brought it to his attention.
"What?"
"Your phone's buzzing" you clarified, lightly pressing your legs to his so he could take a hint.
"Oh, right" he finally got it, earning a small laugh from you as he reached into his pocket and took his phone out. "It's Minji".
You couldn't help it, but your body tensed up.
"Minji?" Han asked quite eagerly.
"Isn't it like six A.M. over there?" Hyejin's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
Hyunjin shrugged. "She's Facetiming, hold on".
Watching him sit up straight and fix his hair right before taking the call, you moved slightly away from him, putting some distance in between the two of you. That small action of yours didn't go unnoticed by Hyunjin, but he decided to say nothing. It must've been nothing after all, right?
"Hey!" He greeted her cheerfully as soon as her face was on the screen.
"Hello~" Minji answered rather cutely. Your stomach twisted. "How's everyone?"
"Everyone's okay, they're all here, actually" Hyunjin let her know.
That simple statement was all it took for your seats to be taken over by all your friends — all ten of you trying your best to fit on the small screen that Hyunjin was struggling to keep as far as possible from his face, so that everyone could have a look.
Staring at your friend through the screen, you could tell she was just waking up. She was at the other side of the world, after all. But even then, when her hair was still messy and her face was completely bare, she managed to look as endearing as ever. 
She looked happy. Tired, of course, given what time it was over there, but happy nonetheless. That same welcoming smile you knew so well was still intact, even while she was being attacked with questions from the entire friend group.
You tried your best not to look at Hyunjin all throughout the conversation. You knew it wouldn't do you any good to see him looking at her — not when you already knew the oh-so-special way he did. That one look in his eyes he only had when it came to her.
You also tried your best not to think of how usual these video calls were. They were best friends, for fucks sake, and they were half a world apart from each other on top of that. If it were you and Seungmin, you knew you'd be calling on a daily basis.
But Hyunjin and Minji were different. And the selfish part of you didn't want to think he was Facetiming her every single day when that seemed to be your thing now.
As stupid as you knew it was, you couldn't stop your head from hurting right then; all because of your own intrusive thoughts.
"We miss you!" Han shouted.
"Yeah, you should call the whole group more often" Chan accused her.
"Oh my God, you should show us around the filming set sometime" Felix excitedly requested. 
"Have you met any celebrities?" Jeongin asked.
And the fact that everyone was talking so loudly and eagerly to the phone, as if its microphone wasn't working or something, was definitely not helping your abrupt headache.
"One by one, people. Please" she joked. "I miss you all so much and I will get to you in a minute, but I called Jinnie, so…"
"She said priorities," Minho joked with a roll of eyes. "Let's leave before our dignity hits rock bottom, guys".
Chuckling at his salty remark and watching everyone stand up so they could either go back to their seats or straight up go somewhere else after the bonfire bonding had been interrupted, you hesitated for a moment. Ultimately, however, you stood up too — not being able to decipher the look Hyunjin gave you when you were no longer sitting next to him, and your end of the blanket remained unattended.
Without much thought, you went to the place that felt the most familiar and, therefore, the most comfortable — Seungmin. He was back on his previous seat, mindlessly scrolling through his Twitter feed when you took a seat beside him.
He didn't even budge when you placed your head on his shoulder, silently reading whatever Tweet he decided to stop at. 
"You should've brought the blanket" he said plainly when a breeze of cold air hit your bodies, eyes not leaving his phone. "It's cold".
You snorted. "It's Hyunie's blanket. You can go get another one to your tent if you're that cold".
"Just go ask your boyfriend for it, he's giving it to you in a heartbeat".
Your jaw dropped at his nonchalant statement, not minding holding back when you pushed him with both palms and almost made him fall off his chair.
"You're a menace" he accused you, holding onto your upper arm for dear life.
"You started it" you defended yourself.
"Just go get a blanket!" He motioned towards his tent.
"It's your tent, you go".
"Fine! But I swear to God I won't be shar—"
"Um…" Hyunjin's low voice brought your attention to him.
He was awkwardly standing in front of you, folded blanket in his hands while his eyes travelled from you to Seungmin, almost as if pondering his next move.
In the end, they focused on Seungmin.
"You think you can, um…" he nervously cleared his throat. "Leave us to it for a bit?"
Your heart skipped a beat, and your eyes fixed on Seungmin, who was already squinting his eyes in your direction.
The things he had to do for you and the sake of your romantic life.
Standing up without another word and with a quick glance to Hyunjin, he went over to Jeongin and Chan, who were busy chugging two of the beer cans you had no idea were there to begin with. Next to them was Hyejin, who was now holding Hyunjin’s phone as you supposed she was the next to talk to Minji one-on-one.
You frowned. You would’ve thought Minji’s conversation with Hyunjin would go on for ten minutes at least. Had it only been two minutes? Three at most?
Hyunjin took a seat next to you, placing the blanket around your body. His hands remained on your shoulders, tenderly massaging them before he rested his head on yours. You pouted, leaning into his body and burying your face on the crook of this neck.
"Why'd you leave?" he asked.
You shrugged, unintentionally tickling his neck and making goosebumps show up on his skin.
"Hm?" he pushed it, gently nudging you.
"Didn't wanna interrupt" you replied quietly.
"Interrupt?"
"Yeah, like… Minji called you, so…"
"She just wanted to tell me about what happened at the studio today and the instructions the director was giving, you know, to give me some tips since I aim to get there at some point".
You smiled weakly, being reminded of how even when it came to their careers they were a better fit than you and him. An actress and a film producer. It was a match made in Heaven.
"It's not like we were talking about anything top secret" he tried to reassure you when you wouldn't reply.
"No, but…" you sighed. "I don't know".
“Tell me”.
“It would’ve just… We were being way too cozy, and she was watching, I didn’t want to have her think that we’re—you know…”
Hyunjin frowned, looking down to his fidgeting hands on his lap. “But we are, though… Aren’t we?”
You looked up at him in surprise, and he could feel his heart flutter at the sight of your shining, incredulous eyes.
“We are?” you asked in a whisper.
“Do you…” he bit his lip, silently looking for the right words. “Do you really think I’m in love with her?”
You shrugged, sitting up and leaning away from him.
“Y/N…”
“I don’t know what you want me to tell you, it’s always been so obvious”.
“It was nothing, though”.
You snorted at that, shaking your head in disbelief while you focused on one of the trees in front.
“I mean it,” he reassured you, cupping your chin and guiding your face in his direction, giving you no choice but to look at him and feel your breath get caught in your throat over how little distance separated your face from his. “Whatever silly crush I had on her is gone by now”.
“You don’t have to explain yourself to me”.
“But I do,” he disagreed. “I do need to explain myself if it’s gonna jeopardize my relationship with you”.
“R-Relationship?” you whispered again, this time almost inaudibly.
"I mean, not like—I know we don't," he panicked, and you couldn't help but smile ever so faintly at the way his eyes opened wider than usual and his cheeks became a bright pink. "I'm just—in the future maybe, like…"
"Like…" you trailed off, giving him the little push he needed to go on.
Hyunjin took a deep breath. His hands were no longer cupping your face, but nervously shoved into his pockets instead. Suddenly, he had lost all the sudden confidence he previously had when it came to making it clear to you that he no longer wanted anything to do with Minji.
But he wanted things to be clear between the two of you. He wanted you to know that whatever it was he once felt for her, was now gone.
He wanted you to know he wanted you.
So, earning back every ounce of confidence he once had, he took his hands out of his pockets and held yours in them — his thumbs ever so tenderly caressing your soft skin, staring at them with the softest of smiles before his eyes went back up to your already elated ones.
“I like you, Y/N” he confessed. “I really, really like you".
"You do?" you murmured, not believing your ears.
"Mhm…" he nodded, feeling shyness hit him like a truck all over again yet refusing to let it take control over him. "I want to give us a try, I want to be with you, and… I just, I don’t want you to believe I'm stuck on Minji when I'm not".
You looked down to your lap and simply nodded, silently — visibly enough for him to know you heard him, yet not confidently enough for him to think you trusted him.
Everything he had just said was exactly what you wanted to hear. He wanted to be with you. Not her, you. He liked you, and wanted to give your relationship a try. Then why was your gut not allowing you to feel as happy as you should be?
"Can you please say something?" he whispered, nervously biting on his bottom lip.
"I, I don't…"
"You don't like me back?" he assumed; defeat clear in his eyes.
"No, I do!" you clarified embarrassingly fast, not even getting to feel ashamed about it after seeing the way his whole face lit up. "I do. I do like you".
He laughed under his breath, blissfully — thumbs still drawing circles in the palms of your hands, only this time it felt playful.
"What's stopping us then?" Hyunjin asked.
You shrugged, letting out a sigh as you looked up to the sky. "It's not even been two months since she left…"
He sighed heavily, cupping your face with one of his hands and making you look at him once more. "I know it seems like too little time, but I fell so hard so fast for you, Y/N. I can't even understand it either, but I did".
"What about when she comes back…"
"Does it matter?" He tilted his head in confusion. "I'll be with you, nothing's gonna change".
"She's coming back in five months," you pointed out, a small smirk curving up your lips. "You really think we'll last that long?"
Hyunjin giggled, resting his forehead on yours and smoothly pulling you closer to him by firmly placing a hand on your back.
"I think we'll last longer than that, actually".
That did it for you. Those confident words coming out of his mouth, his lips only inches from yours and his strong hand on your back, were all it took for you to shut down every rational part of your mind and to let your heart take over instead.
You wanted to be with him, and he wanted to be with you. So what if he used to have feelings for your mutual friend; it didn’t have to be so complicated.
And maybe, in the long run, that had been your biggest mistake. Pushing all your worries aside and just diving into your feelings for him. Rushing into things. Letting go of your inhibitions that night and never looking back from a decision you made in the heat of the moment.
Your biggest mistake was forgetting about the reason you were sitting all the way across from your previous seats around the bonfire to begin with, and why Hyunjin had come up to you in order to comfort you and reassure you of the way he felt for you.
The reason of all your insecurities was currently at the other side of the world, and Hyunjin was all the way over here with you. It was just that easy to forget about your concerns when the cause of them was nowhere near. Especially when the person your heart was crazy about was holding you so close.
Chuckling at those words that had made you risk it all, you placed your hands on his chest and softly nuzzled his nose. "You think so?"
"What, you wanna bet?" He challenged with a raised eyebrow.
You shook your head no immediately, as a laugh escaped your throat. And with each shake of your head, you moved closer to him — until there was no more space between your mouths, and your puckered lips were softly pressing on his receptive ones.
They felt just like everything you had ever dreamed of, but better. They tasted sweet, just like him; and they somehow felt even softer and plumper than they looked.
With your heart speeding up in such a way you had not felt in so long, you pulled away, feeling your cheeks burn up while your face remained buried in his neck in a poor attempt to hide from what you had just done.
"Oh, no. No," he warned you, tilting his head towards your hidden face and placing his hand on your neck — gently, yet strong enough to manage to make you look up at him. "You don't get to kiss me and then pull away before I get a proper taste of you".
His lips were trapping your bottom one before you could even register his words. He pulled you in closer, hand travelling from the back of your neck to the side of it, so that he could hold you still while his thumb was faintly pressing on your throat. 
He deepened the kiss in no time, tilting his head to the side right as his tongue traced your bottom lip for you to open up. Once you did, he was greatly met by yours in the middle — tenderly massaging each other for a brief moment, before you focused back on sucking and teasing your needy lips.
"Did this answer your question?" he whispered against your mouth.
Too far gone in the sensation of his addictive lips on yours and the way his hot breath hit your mouth as it mixed with your own, you struggled to find your voice. "W-What even was the question?"
Hyunjin giggled, louder this time. Both hands cupped your cheeks, and his thumbs tickled your bottom lip as they faintly traced it. "You're so cute".
You looked down, not being able to hold his stare after hearing such a statement come out of his swollen, pink lips. Hyunjin laughed under his breath at the sight of it, planting a soft kiss on your forehead before he pulled you into his arms and fixed the blanket that was sliding down your shoulders.
"Are you two lovebirds done exchanging saliva?" Minho asked from the table a few meters away, mindlessly opening a red cooler.
Hyunjin rolled his eyes, and you shyly buried your face in the crook of his neck like it was oh-so-natural by now.
"Is that a yes?"
"What do you need?" you reluctantly gave in.
"You're literally the only person apart from me who knows how to properly fillet a fish, so…"
You sighed, sitting up and giving Hyunjin a lingering, apologetic look before you stood up.
"I can help, too" he stood up immediately after you, leaving the blanket by your chairs and following behind you.
"I actually need your help chopping the veggies" Hyejin caught him by his t-shirt before he could even reach your side.
"But I can help Y/N cut th—"
"You don't even know how to cut a fish" Hye mocked him.
"No, but—"
"Just give it up, lover boy" Seungmin shut every hope of his down, placing a firm hand on his shoulder and dragging him with them to the other end of the table. "Come join those of us on veggies duty, Y/N's not going anywhere".
Throwing one last glance your way and watching you fold up your sleeves right before you got to helping Minho, Hyunjin smiled. He wished you weren't interrupted because of veggies and fish duty, and therefore you could still be sitting down by the bonfire, all alone, making out like he then realised he was desperate to.
But Seungmin was right. You were not going anywhere. For as long as he stayed by your side, and for as long as he made you feel safe enough in your relationship, you would stay.
For as long as you knew he was yours and you were his, you were not going anywhere. And he planned to keep it that way, so there was truly nothing for him to worry about, right?
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tag list: @brinnalaine @slut4colinbridgerton @sherryblossom @svintsandghosts @phenomenalgirl9 @meloncremesoda @jxcesstuff @nhyunn @armystay89 @mal-lunar-28 @143hyunes @seungminstaehyun @cutiespaghetti @chaotic-world-of-the-j @its-me-hyunjin @kwanisms @hyunfruits
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xetswan · 2 months
Text
By Your Side- Prologue
(Joshua Washington X Reader)
(Until Dawn)
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[Prologue] [One] [Two]
“Hey sissy.” Jessica jumps on the end of my bed with a huge grin. I raise a brow, closing my laptop.
“What is it, Jess?” I let out a large sigh causing her to pout out her lip.
“Oh come on, I just wanted to hang out with my older sister.” She nudges my calf, scooting closer to me on the bed.
“Right, you haven’t called me sissy in years.” I call her out, to which my little sister scoffs. Shaking her head in disagreement to my statement.
Right now we’ve been home alone, our parents out for some business trip or so they say. They do this every month or two, telling us a business trip came up that they have to go to when in reality we all know it’s just a mini vacation they want to take without feeling guilty. Something they shouldn’t have to feel guilty for.
“Uh, yes I have. Just the other day. Maybe I just want to say it again.” Jessica argues with me and I let out a small chuckle.
“Okay, I’ll keep you to it, sissy.” I mock her, she tries to hide it but she breaks out into a smile as well.
“Okay, fine. I overheard Hannah saying we’re going to the lodge! Did Josh say anything to you about it?” She hops up on her knees, bouncing on my bed a little bit. “It was mentioned but I don’t think I’m going.” I let out a nervous laugh, I watched as her eyes bulged out of the sockets along with her mouth hung wide open.
“You have to go! Mom and dad won’t let me go unless you do.” She grips on my knee shaking me aggressively.
It’s not that I don’t want to go.
It sounds fun as heck but lately Josh has been acting a little more flirtatious with me and I’m not up for an awkward weekend of the group making fun of us. Ever since Thanksgiving he started becoming more flirty with me. I went to his family’s dinner and I don’t know.
I like him, of course I do. Who wouldn’t in my position I just don’t want our friendship to get messed up in the heat of things.
“I.. I don’t know Jessie. I have a lot of homework to catch up on.” I lie, I’m all caught up. I only have three classes so I also have time to work.
“[Name], please. I’ll clean your car whenever you want me to! And your dishes! For a month!” She pleads with me. I bite the tip of my thumb thinking about it. A weekend with friends might get out minds off of things. Josh might not bother me as much as I think he will. I close my eyes.
“Okay,” I breathe out, “okay, I’ll go but please try to make sure the pranks against me are at a minimum. And don’t worry about cleaning my things.” I slouch down a tad bit only to be brought back up by my sister who squeals and hugs me. “I can’t wait for the invitation to make things official!” She lets me go and excitedly leaves my room.
I hear her call Ashley which surprised me. I didn’t expect her to really become friends with Ashley. It’s better than Emily though.
I check my phone that pings a few times, Josh and Chris’s names pop up and I roll my eyes at what they’re saying.
“Partying it up on Mount Washington!!!!!!!!! What you guys think?” Josh using way too many exclamation points.
“I’m in, you know it!” Chris sends with multiple emojis and I snort out a laugh.
“[Name], how about you?” Josh puts a little winky face to which I roll my eyes, a smirk still laid upon my lips though.
“Hm, I don’t know.” I respond back, Chris sends a gasping face emoji in response to my message.
“You’re the life of the party you have to be there:(“ Chris says.
“Is it worth my time though?” I tease them, obviously I already told Jessica I was going. I’m not backing out of my word but it is fun to mess with my boys.
“Oh wowww, can’t believe Miss chugger won’t come to a party… with provided alcohol.” Josh says, my jaw slacks open in shock.
“Hey, Miss chugger is in the past, dead even and she’s not coming back.” I remind him. In high school we of course were bit of partiers.
I was the worst of the worst when it comes to drinking. I’d out drink everyone, chugging disgusting beers, taking shots of pure vodka like it was nothing. Just thinking about those days makes me want to vomit.
“I miss her:(“ Chris comments,
Josh puts the laughing emoji, “me too:(“ I roll my eyes once again.
“Shut up, I’m coming I already told Jessie I would. Miss chugger on the other hand you guys can forget it.” I turn my phone off after I hit send, getting back on my laptop to watching YouTube videos like I was before Jessica rudely came into my room.
“C’mon, sissy, everyone else is already waiting for us!” Jessica dramatically tugs me onto the cable car.
“You’re really sticking with Sissy now?” I scrunch my face, throwing my backpack onto my back since I just had to get my hat out, somehow I forgot how cold it actually was going to be up here. I was currently wearing a little puffer jacket, a pink slightly cropped sweater underneath with low rise jeans.
“Of course, I told you I might want to say it again and I do!” She folds her arms. I shake my head. “Okay, sorry.” I jokingly say.
As the cable car goes up I glance around. Taking in the beauty of it all.
I used to come up here with the Washington’s for the summer sometimes, this also isn’t my first winter up here. I love the Washington’s, they’ve always welcomed me. It was nice to have a place where I didn’t always have to take Jessica with me since she’s my younger sister our parents always expected me to have her tag along.
I love her and all but it’s cool to have my own time too.
“Look, I see them!” She points over to the group who were actually waiting for us. I glance over and they’re waving to us, so we do it back.
Jessica was practically on the edge of her seat excited to get off. As it gets to where we need to be we rush off and get greeted with hugs from our friends. Even if we’ve seen them just days or a few weeks ago.
“It’s nice to see you actually came!” Josh jokes with me, pulling me into a tight hug.
“Yeah, it was a tough decision.” I mess with him. Chris gives me a small side hug.
“Ready for the weekend Chugger?” He takes my hat off to which I slap him on the arm.
“Chugger doesn’t exist anymore. Give me that!” I jump up to grab from the blond.
“I think I’ll wear it.” He places it on his head. “Doesn’t this look nice on me, Josh?” Chris turns to our other friends as we all start walking. “Oh man, I’d totally take you to the bone zone if you were a girl.” Josh says and I let out a sort of loud laugh.
“The bone zone? God you are so corny.” I hold my stomach.
“Okay, okay, calm down. It wasn’t that funny.” Josh pats my back. Chris tries to hold back his laughter as well.
“Are we almost there yet, my feet are killer from the work out I did earlier.” Matt speaks up from behind us, we stop and turn.
“Just a little bit always, princess.” Beth replies to him. “Ha-ha, I’m serious. I might’ve did a little too much.” He mainly comments the last part to himself. I then hear Mike and Emily flirting with each other making me want to gag but then I also notice how Hannah was staring at them, well staring at Mike.
We began walking again and I slowed down a little bit.
“Hey, Han.” I nudge her arm. She snaps out of her thoughts looking at me.
“Hey [Name].” She gives a small smile. “You like him?” I whisper, her face suddenly then drops.
“Who told you? Did Josh read my journal or something?” She starts to panic but I shush her, calming her down.
“No, no, I saw the way you were looking at them. Either you like him or it’s Emily which is kind of doubtful considering I didn’t think you swung that way. It’s not a bad thing if you did.” I rambled on a little bit, causing her to snicker shaking her head.
“It’s him, I didn’t think I was that obvious.” She shyly rubs her hands together, most likely trying to give herself warmth.
“It’s probably not, I just enjoy observing people sometimes.” I assure her.
“Oh, okay. Well I’ve actually done some observing myself and it seems like you’re avoiding my brother.” She calls me out, my mouth instantly closing having nothing to say in response to that spot on observance she had.
“What? I haven’t- I’m not avoiding him.” I disagree, glancing up to see Josh, Chris and Matt messing with each other as Mike cheers for god knows what they’re doing. “Right, so you not coming over on the weekends to hang out with Josh after Thanksgiving is you not avoiding him?” She questions me.
“Exactly it’s not.” I try to stay confident with my answer, attempting to keep a straight face but once I look at her we both burst into laughter.
“Fine, fine! I am.” I sigh out, kicking the snow as we walk up the trail. “But why? You guys never have a problem.” She frowns.
“It’s a long story.” I bite my bottom lip thinking about all that’s happened.
“We have some time before we get to the house.” She says, shrugging her shoulders. I glance up ahead again, seeing as everyone was pre-occupied with each other.
“Josh and I sort of got flirty with each other. Your brother was super headstrong with it. I kind of did it back. We kissed a few times on Thanksgiving night and since that night I was scared it would ruin our friendship so I cut back. I gave excuses to not come over.” I let out in a low voice so only she could hear. Hannah smiles at me sweetly.
“I know I’m a jerk for it but it’s just my anxiety taking over I guess.” I stare at the ground.
“You’re not a jerk. That also wasn’t a long story.” She comments, both of us laughing once again. “Just talk with Josh. You never know what could happen.” Hannah nudges me, I do it back to her. Both of us smiling. “Okay, I will.” I stand up straighter.
Once we get to the lodge, Josh opens the door dramatically.
“Finally, warmth!” Sam opens her arms, spinning around as she walks further inside. I watch Beth turn the lights on with a smirk watching Sam. “Very exciting.” I agree, tugging my jacket off, holding it in my arm.
“Party time!” Mike announces earning the rest of us to cheer. Josh, Chris, Ashley and I go get our rooms, well Josh is showing us to ours, I’m the last one too. He turns a familiar corner and I start to fold my arms.
“This is your room, Josh.” I point out. “Nice observation.” He smirks, taking my jacket and back from my hands he places them down with his on a chair that’s up against the wall. I shake my head, chuckling.
“Where’s my actual room that I usually sleep in?” I lean against the doorway.
“Oh c’mon, babe. Just this weekend.” He comes up to me, taking one of my hands. “Just this weekend, what?” I raise a brow, confused but also intrigued. He leads me into the room, sitting me down before going back to close the door.
“I mean we both know how we feel about each other. It’s pretty obvious.” He concludes, not exactly looking me in the eyes. “And how do we feel about each other, Joshua?” I stare up at him. His eyes finally meet mine, and it looks like he melted just from our eye contact.
“Y’know…” He mutters, coming closer. “I don’t.” I tease him, standing up to push him down on the bed so I’m in between his legs this time. His hands find my hips, aggressively he squeezes them, lowly groaning.
“[Name], please, you don’t understand what you do to me.” He pulls me closer to him, my chest practically in his face. I feel my face warm up, I wasn’t expecting this. My hand drags up his torso to his face, cradling it as I force him to look up at me.
“Let’s try this out.” I whisper. His eyes lighten up, I feel his grip tighten even more.
“What- what do you mean?” He adjusts himself on the bed, I still stare at his face. “Let’s try out the relationship thing,” I begin and a smile erupts on his face.
“But, if this doesn’t work out, we don’t let our friendship get awkward.” I practically am begging with my facial expression. “It will work out.” He pushes me back a little bit so he can stand up. He kisses me gently, first on the lips then trailing down to my jawline.
“We should get going back down before anyone gets suspicious.” I hum out, feeling his lips begin to touch my neck. I try to push on his chest but he’s gripping my sides so tightly like I’ll run away.
“Let them.” He takes a small break only to work on my neck again. “Josh.” I gasp. He snickers, finally stopping. His eyes trail all over my face then to my neck.
“You might want to cover that up.” He taps the spot he was attacking before grabbing his phone from the bed and walking out. My face scrunches up, confused at first but then I rush over to the mirror, I let out a loud gasp.
“Joshua!!” I hold my neck and I hear him let out a laugh. I sigh, going over to the chair with our stuff and dig in it, finding a stupid thin scarf I brought and neatly wrap it to hide the hickey he gave me.
I finally start heading downstairs, joining the rest of the group who were planning out what we’re doing for the weekend.
Later that night Josh and Chris decided to do a drinking game, I sat next to Josh as Chris sat across from us.
Beth and Sam were watching everything go down. “Come on Chugger, you gotta join us.” Chris practically whines, my eyes roll in response. “I told you she’s dead. Now knock it off.” I wave my hand in a swift movement.
“I liked Chugger, she was sexy.” Josh whispered the last part into my ear. I shove him away from me as my face warmed up.
“What was that? Care to share with the class?” Sam speaks up and I felt my eyes widen.
“Chugger, she was a sexy woman back in the day.” Josh announces and my body shrivels down in embarrassment. “She was a careless teenager.” I disagree. “Same thing.” Chris shrugs his shoulders, picking up a beer and beginning to take the first sip.
I watched as the two get shitfaced with Beth and Sam, us three talking about school work or just things going on in our lives.
Sam decides to join the others and I think Hannah went to go write or something, Beth and I are now taking pictures on our phones acting stupid.
Josh and Chris are passed out now.
“I’m glad you decided to come.” Beth smiles at me and I nod, putting my phone down.
“Me too, even if your brother is annoying. I’m still having fun.” I joke, of course forgetting why I have my scarf on I take it off due to me getting hot and my neck starting to sweat.
“He loves you.” Beth mumbles looking over at her drunken brother, laughing. “I don’t know about love but yeah.” I glance over at him, his face smushed on his arm with his mouth wide open.
“Oh my god.” The girl suddenly whispers and I snap my head over to her. “What? What is it?” I look down at myself to see if she accidentally dropped something on me.
“Is that a hickey?” She flicks the spot on my neck, I hiss, slapping her hand away.
“Is that from Josh?” She breaks out into a small laughing fit.
“What- no, it’s- maybe.” I couldn’t find a good excuse okay? Kill me. “That’s hilarious, Matt owes me fifty bucks.” She throws her head back.
“You bet on our love life?” I crossed my arms. “Everyone practically did. Even Chris.” She gets up to start cleaning after Josh and Chris.
I just sit there, in shock from what she just told me.
Beth leaves the room and I go back to sitting beside Josh, laying my head down on his shoulder. He moves around a little bit. “Hm?” He hums and I shush him.
“Sorry, just wanted to be by you.” I whisper. He grumbles a little bit but harshly leans up to put his arm around me, laying his head back down on his other arm. I smile to myself, laying down on my arm, cuddling up next to him. Our legs now sort of entangled together. I didn’t drink or anything but the tiredness of traveling finally hit me.
I don’t even know how much time has passed but that was until I heard the ending of a conversation.
“Just because he’s class Prez doesn’t mean he belongs to everyone… Mike is my man.” I hear Emily say as they leave the kitchen.
“Hey, Em. I’m not anybody’s man.”
“Whatever you say, Darling!” She sings. I lift my head up for a second but then shrug, going back to sleep, I hear someone walk in but I just ignore it.
Thinking I was going to get to fall asleep for longer I instead get Beth walking in to continue cleaning up, I still let Josh hold onto me but I sit my head up to watch her.
“Hey did you see that? Dad said it’d just be us this weekend.” She turns to us but sees the two boys still passed out.
“Josh?”
“He’s been passed out, love. I don’t think you’ll be waking him up anytime soon.” I give her a sad face.
“But what did you see?” I ask. “I thought I saw someone outside. I swear I did.” She frowns, glancing at the window again but she heads over to the counter.
She picks up a bottle that’s in front of us and empty by the way. It’s an older scotch, Jeremiah Cragg.
“Jeez, Josh… Once again brother you outdone us all. She pats the arm that he has around me and I tiredly laugh. I then watch her spin a paper around, picking it up to read it.
“Oh my god. What did our naive sister get herself into now?” Beth turns to us and I raise a brow. “What?” I ask. “Here.” She hands me the paper and I read it. I close my eyes letting out a long breath.
“I think they found out about Hannah’s feelings. This has to be a prank.” I gently pull Josh’s arm off of me and I stand up, placing the paper down and they we look outside to see Hannah crying, running past the window.
“Oh my god.” I gasp.
“Wake Josh I’ll go to the others, I hope that wasn’t Hannah.” She runs outside, I nod. Going over to the passed out drunk. I overhear the others yelling outside for Hannah and then hear Beth run after her sister.
“Josh, Joshua, hun.” I push his body. His snore becomes a little louder and I bite my bottom lip. “Babe, c’mon wake up, Beth and Hannah ran outside.” I say a little loud, shaking him more aggressively.
“What?” He becomes more awake.
“They what?” He lifts his head up.
“The others played a prank on Hannah, I’m guessing it was bad because she ran outside and Beth followed from what I heard.” I tell him, now he’s more alert and he drunkenly stood up. He stumbles a bit so I run over and get him a water.
“Here, drink and let’s go.” I tell him. Suddenly when we saw the group he sobers up.
“What the hell did you guys do!?” Josh angrily shouts, he was holding my hand for support.
“It was just a prank, Josh, we didn’t mean for it to upset her like that.” Emily steps forward and I glare at her. Then at Mike, then to Jessica.
“Especially you, Jessica.” I point a finger at her, her head goes down.
“I can’t believe you guys would do something so stupid like that.” I shake my head, disappointed.
“I tried to warn her, I was too late.” Sam tells me and I smile weakly. “Let’s just hope they come back soon.” I frown.
Soon never came though.
After thirty minutes Josh began to panic and I woke Chris up. Catching him up with everything as we decided to go look for the two sisters.
I called the police and mountain patrol but we never found them.
For months we did search parties, I stayed by Josh’s side, knowing it’s a tough time for him. I barely passed two semesters as I was always with him trying to help.
I didn’t mind it though. I wanted to make sure he was okay. I knew he wasn’t. His parents were rough on him, telling him it was his fault since he was drunk.
It wasn’t his fault. It was our stupid friends fault for playing that dirty prank on Hannah the way they did.
It’s about a year now and no one has even seen a sign of them…
It’s horrible.
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Date Day Pt. 1
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Pieces of My Heart - Chapter 16 Stray Kids OT8 x reader, Soulmate AU
Masterlist |
From the moment you woke up, you felt the need to pee. Your efforts of vacating the bed to make it to the bathroom was made a little complicated by the two sets of arms wrapped around you (and in the case of Jisung, the body currently resting half on top of you), but you managed to make your way out of it by rolling Jisung off of you and in the middle of the small cuddle puddle taking place.
Chan was forced to dislodge his grip on you, but Jisung immediately took advantage of the sudden lack of warmth to latch onto the leader with a soft whine. Chan only cracked open an eye to take stock of the situation, and you gave him a quick thumbs up before running out of the room.
After peeing, you came back to find both guys still asleep and cuddled together. You weren’t tired enough to go back to sleep, so you decided to let them be. You grabbed your phone and made your way out into the living room. You scrolled through your phone for a bit, checking messages and emails and sending a quick message to your parents, only to find out they were still awake.
You decided to call them before they went to bed.
“Hi sweetheart,” Your mom said when she answered.
Your dad peeked his head from the corner of the screen. “Hey, about time you called.”
You pouted. “I’ve been busy!”
“Too busy with those soulmates of yours to say hi to your own father?”
“Daaaad.”
Your mom let out a laugh, pushing away your dad so she was the only one on screen. “Ignore him. He’s just missing you.”
“I miss you guys too,” You told her, and she gave you a soft smile in return.
The two of you chatted, getting caught up on anything new that had happened since you left, which wasn’t much but still made you feel like you had never left at all. It was a comfort to know that the distance wasn’t going to change anything.
It was almost half an hour later that you finally hung up, letting the sudden deafening silence of the dorms wash over you with a sigh. You closed your eyes and leaned back onto the couch, and you must have dozed off because you suddenly jolted awake at the feeling of hands on your cheeks.
“You’re going to hurt your neck if you sleep like this,” Changbin warned you, tilting your head forward.
True to his words, you felt an ache in your neck, and you let out a groan. He allowed you to rest your forehead against his chest as he softly rubbed the muscles in your neck and shoulders, and you were tempted to doze back to sleep at his touch, but there was a soft shuffling sound from the hallway, and you pulled away to see who it was.
Hyunjin looked like he was still half asleep, and you were surprised he was even awake before noon. He practically threw himself onto the couch next to you, immediately pulling you away from Changbin to use you as a pillow. Changbin snorted in amusement.
“What are you doing awake so early?” He wondered, moving out of his squat to stretch his legs.
Hyunjin swiped his hand across your arm and watched through half lidded eyes as it left a trail of inky black that began to quickly fade. “I need time to get ready for our date.”
“The museum doesn’t open until 11,” You pointed out, reaching for your phone. “You have … 4 hours until then.”
“Trust me, he might need more,” Changbin teased.
Hyunjin threw one of the couch pillows at him, but when the rapper dodged, he was left with nothing else to retaliate with, so he quickly gave up. Changbin snickered, making his way towards the kitchen.
You ran your fingers through Hyunjin’s hair for the next few minutes, feeling the dancer slowly relax against you, and while you were tempted to allow him to fall back asleep (really, who needed 4 hours to get ready?), you knew that he would have never woken up this early without reason.
You poked his cheek softly. “Hyunnie.”
“Hmm?”
“C’mon. I thought you wanted to get ready.”
“Mmmm.”
“Want me to make you some coffee?”
At the mention of coffee, Hyunjin seemed to perk up, rising up from his half-slumped state to give you a wide eyed but still slightly glazed look. “Coffee?”
“Way ahead of you,” Changbin said.
He walked out of the kitchen with two cups of coffee. One of them he handed over to the now very much awake blond next to you, and the other he carefully handed to you to make sure it didn’t spill. You gave him a smile, and he allowed you to pull him close enough to press a kiss to his lips in thanks.
When you eventually drifted back towards Chan’s bedroom, you found the leader gone and Jisung hugging a pillow, still completely asleep. You sat down next to him and carted your fingers through his hair, swiping the back of your hand down his cheek, and when he still didn’t stir, you poked him. Nothing. It was only when you whispered his name that Jisung began to stir, blinking slowly as he woke up.
“Wha-?”
“It’s time to get up.”
“Noooo,” Jisung whined, rolling over.
You giggled. “No? What do you mean no?”
“It’s too early!”
“Hmm, maybe you just need some incentive,” You teased, wiggling your fingers menacingly towards his sides.
At the threat of being tickled, Jisung flinched back. You only tickled him for a second as he squirmed before you pulled back, and when youu started to laugh at him, Jisung used the opportunity to roll on top of you, fingers now pressed up against your own sides.
You squealed in warning, trying to throw him off, but Jisung was deceptively strong, his weight pressing down on your stomach and preventing you from pushing him off. Instead, you tried to swat his hands away from your body, but he just grabbed your wrists and pinned them to the bed.
“Not so fun when it’s you, huh?”
You let out another yelp as he managed to hold both of your arms down with one hand, and started to tickle. You let out a yell for help in between laughs, but Jisung pressed his lips against yours to silence you. You snorted so hard that it hurt your throat, and he pulled away with a laugh of his own.
“Chan! Chan, help!”
“Chan won’t be able to help you now,” Jisung teased.
You gasped. “Chan?! No honorifics?!”
“I’m not scared of him.”
“Scared of who?”
Chan walked in with messy hair and a confused look on his face. No longer tickling you, you were sure the two of you made quite the sight, Jisung still on top of you and your faces inches apart, but he didn’t seem bothered at the sight. Or maybe he wasn’t worried about interrupting, since all you could feel was amusement, fondness, and glee that he could no doubt identify himself.
Jisung froze at the sight of his Hyung, and you let a smirk slowly grow across your face. “Hey Channie. Want to hear something really funny?”
“Nope!”
Jisung threw himself off you and ran out of the room before you could snitch on him, and you let out another giggle as his once tough bravo disappeared so easily. Chan, still confused, walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed.
“Did you call for me earlier?”
“Ah, don’t worry about it.”
“Hmm.”
He motioned for you to move over, and he laid down next to you with a sigh. You lay on your side, and Chan turned his head so that he could look at you, one brow raising in amusement. “Can I help you?”
“You’re pretty when you wake up,” You murmured, reaching out to flatten part of his hair that was sticking up. “Messy, but cute.”
“You’re cuter,” He corrected, and he turned his face away so you couldn’t see his face, but you had a feeling he was blushing. “You’re going with Hyunjin and Felix to the museum today, right?”
“Yup. We don’t have to leave for a while though, we can have breakfast together.”
“Sure. I’m planning on heading to the studio today.”
“Never a day off in your life, is there?”
Chan rolled over so that you were now facing each other, and he placed his hand against your cheek. “You ever want to spend a day off with me, all you have to do is ask, sweetheart.”
“Charmer,” You drawled, pressing a kiss to his palm. You then pushed his hand away so you could sit up, stretching your arms above your head.
“Guess we should get up.”
“Yeah. You want to take a shower first?”
“Nah, you go first. I’m going to get started on breakfast.”
“Okay.”
Chan watched you with fond eyes as you leaned in close to press a kiss to his lips, and you found yourself lingering a little longer than you should have. What was supposed to be a quick peck ended up turning into a full-blown make-out session, your hands holding you up as you hovered above him, lips moving softly against one another while his own palms burned against your hips, thumbs rubbing circles against your skin. You only managed to force yourself away when his phone began to buzz.
He chased your lips and you let out a laugh. “You should answer that.”
“Hmm, I really should.”
One last kiss, this time for real, and you were out the bedroom door before you could convince yourself to skip breakfast and spend the morning in bed with Chan. Jisung nearly bumped into you as you passed by the bathroom, his hair wet from his freshly finished shower, and you steadied him as you walked past, preventing yourself from getting distracted again.
By the time you managed to scrap something together for breakfast, all 4 of the boys had gotten ready and joined you at the table, although Hyunjin remained in his overly expensive looking pajamas, claiming he didn’t want to ruin the ‘surprise’ of his date outfit.
The effort was nice, but it was a bit ruined when Felix showed up shortly after you all finished, looking like he had just finished a photoshoot. While his outfit was fairly casual, a soft blue sweater vest over a long-sleeved white button down that was tucked into his jeans, he somehow managed to make it look elegant.
If your mouth was left hanging for longer than socially acceptable when you opened the door, he didn’t mention it, although the way he smirked let you know he was more than aware.
“You’re early,” You finally mentioned, accepting his hug after you finished ogling him.
“I had something I wanted to talk to Chan about,” He said, glancing over his shoulder. “Speak of the devil.”
Chan gave Felix a once over as he joined the two of you at the entrance. “I want her back by 10,” He joked, and you rolled your eyes at the two of them.
“Yes, sir,” Felix said, playing along.
“Oh my god, you two.” You held back a laugh. The two Aussies shared a laugh of their own, and you pushed past them to the door. “Okay, that’s my cue to leave.”
“Hey, me and Jinnie will pick you up in an hour,” Felix reminded you.
“I know this is supposed to be a date, but you don’t actually have to pick me up at my front door you know.”
“Aww, does this mean I won’t get my end of the date kiss?” He teased.
“Well, if a kiss is what you’re aiming for, I’m afraid you’ve been beaten by, like, half of the members,” You said, giving Chan a side eye.
Felix gasped in fake shock. “They kissed you without dinner first? How scandalous.”
Now it was Chan’s turn to roll his eyes, and you took the cue to leave the boys to whatever it was they needed to deal with. You gave Felix a quick kiss on the cheek before you left.
“One hour.”
You smiled. “See you then.”
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steddieas-shegoes · 9 months
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saw you might not be doing the headcanons for much longer so...
wayne and hopper arguing over who is Steve's dad and Steve just being like guys ur both my dads
Yeah I might cut them off after my vacation so keep them coming until then! And of course if I receive some that I can make time for I’ll do them, but I don’t want people to send them in and wait months 😂
“So you’ll walk Eddie, and I’ll walk Steve.”
“No, I think we need to figure out a way for me to walk them both.”
Steve watched the tennis match of a conversation happening between Wayne and Hopper.
Him and Eddie were having a backyard wedding at the kids’ insistence, and they were going all out for the ceremony.
Which meant that they were both being walked down the aisle and apparently Steve was getting a double dose of dads since his own was an asshole.
“But you have Eddie. I have Steve. He’s my son.”
“But he’s marrying into my family.”
Steve had to cut this off before it got violent. Eddie would never forgive him if Wayne ended up in prison for assaulting an off duty officer.
“Okay! How about Hop walks me down the aisle and I’ll dance with Wayne first.”
“And who will I dance with?”
“Eddie.”
“No offense, but Eddie isn’t my son like you are.”
“You have to pick one of us.”
“No! You’re both my dads.”
Eddie walked in just when Steve stood up to yell his last statement.
“Uh. All good?”
“They’re fighting over me.”
“…okay?”
“They both want to walk me down the aisle.”
“Okay, well that’s not possible.”
Wayne and Hopper started to argue, but Eddie stopped them with a firm voice.
“Wayne is walking me, Hopper is walking Steve. End of story. We’ll take turns dancing. Done. Solved. Moving on. What flavor cake did you decide on?”
He aimed the question at Steve, hopeful expression on his face.
“Chocolate with cream cheese frosting. Joyce is making it.”
“Perfect. I knew I asked you to marry me for a reason.”
“My cake choices?”
“Precisely.”
Steve rolled his eyes and leaned his head back to silently ask for a kiss.
Eddie was a mess from his day at the mechanic shop he worked at, but he leaned down to plant a quick kiss on his lips.
Wayne and Hopper continued to argue quietly, but when the day came, Steve felt loved by both of his dads equally.
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gurugirl · 1 year
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Okay, hear me out… stepdad!harry and y/n on vacation. Y/n gets jealous of her mom and Harry, but Harry likes seeing her all jealous and needy so he plays it out for a bit. But eventually he gives into her and is all sweet and reassures her that he only wants her 😖😫🤧🫶🏻
Also, I’m literally obsessed w your writing 💛
A/n: Vacation stepdad Harry! Hope you enjoy! Also, not sure who made the shit edited pic of Harry I used, but - eh, thanks? 2.1k words
Warning: Smut (oral f receiving), some light angst and jealousy - NOT PROOFREAD - this is stepdad!harry x stepdaughter!reader and they have a totally inappropriate relationship - do not read if you're not into it :)
stepdad!harry masterlist
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You were dreading a vacation for the first time ever in your life. Because this time, it meant you'd be with your mom and Harry together nonstop. You'd have to watch them together, and at the end of the day he'd be going to their room for the night, not yours.
Your mom booked two rooms at the resort where you were staying. The rooms were not adjoined, which you were thankful for. Even on the flight you sat apart from them. By yourself, next to an old woman who snored the entire time. And that wasn't so bad to be honest. At least she wasn't trying to talk your ear off.
The resort was gorgeous with pool areas, a night club, a few restaurants and the beach which allowed you access to the ocean was all right there. Your room was basic but the bed was comfortable and you had a good view from your tiny balcony.
When you met up with your mom and Harry at the seafood restaurant they were already there, looking cozy and sweet together. You thought you'd throw up. You knew Harry was putting on an act. He'd told you over and over again what to expect. He admitted to you the way he felt for you and that nothing could compare to his feelings for you. That gave you solace. But it was still a hard pill to swallow seeing them flirty and touchy.
You could barely eat your meal. You tried not noticing the way your mom kept touching Harry's arm and the way Harry responded by touching her back. You hated the way he'd whisper into her ear and it'd send her laughing loudly. She was quite a bit drunk by the time the server had cleared your table and you all were ready to leave.
"Let's go to the pool together and enjoy some sun!" Your mom spoke as she grabbed Harry's hand and pulled at him.
"Nah. I'm just gonna go and walk around the resort. See what's around," you spoke and saw Harry frown at you. Your mom let out a strange wet gasp, "No, come with us, Yn! Don't be a party pooper!"
You rolled your eyes and chose not to respond. But you did concede and follow them both to the adult's only pool.
You found a chair and and slid your dress off, draping it over the back of the seat and laid yourself over the cushions wearing your cute little green bikini that you hoped would have Harry looking.
And it did. Harry noticed your little swimsuit. He also noticed other people noticing. He didn't like that but he couldn't do anything about it. He and your mom laid next to one another and held hands. Harry kind of liked watching you get jealous of him. He liked that you were fuming. It might have been mean, but he knew that you were aware of his feelings. He had warned you beforehand. But it was kind of cute to watch you get all huffy with him. He'd take care of that later.
After another few rounds of cocktails your mother had hit her limit. Harry helped her back to her room and you assisted. She was slurring and kissing all over Harry's neck, "Just need to sleep it off and then I'm gonna suck your big dick so good baby..." your mom spoke and you nearly gagged and vomited all over her.
Harry just laughed, "Sounds good. Can't wait."
He knew she was going to be out and would never remember saying that, especially since she said it right in front of you. Yeah, she was quite intoxicated. She'd be out for the rest of the night.
Once you and Harry got your mom into her room you excused yourself so Harry could help her change and tuck her into bed. Before you could open the door Harry put his palm on the frame and turned you toward him, "Stop being a brat. I'll see you in fifteen minutes in your room."
You yanked your arm away from him and narrowed your eyes at him, "No you won't. I'm not going to my room. You can stay here and let my mom suck your cock for all I care."
You were pissed and Harry only smiled at you, making you even more mad, "Go to your room. If you aren't there in fifteen minutes I'll come find you and drag you back there."
You left and stomped your way down the hall. You hated the predicament you were in. It never got easier.
But you did go to your room because deep down you knew what Harry was doing was for your mom's sake. She couldn't know about you two or it would end in disaster.
You stripped out of your bikini and put on a robe from the hotel and opened up the door to the balcony to let in a breeze. You were already feeling better.
Just as promised, fifteen minutes later, Harry was knocking at your door. You put on your angry face and swung the door open ready to argue and pout and make him feel sorry for you having to put up with him and your mom being lovey-dovey. But when you took him in you nearly melted and lost all the resolve you had to be angry with him. He was holding a small bouquet of flowers and had a bottle of white wine in the other hand.
He stepped into your room and handed you the flowers and then pushed you backwards, closing the door behind him, cocky smile on his face. He continued walking you backwards with the bottle of wine in one hand and the other cupping your face. His eyes were soft and he his lopsided grin was cute but you wanted to slap him. And then kiss him.
"Baby, don't be angry. I know you want to be but we talked about this," he set the bottle of wine down on the cabinet and then cupped the other side of your face with his newly free hand. He still walked you backward until you were against the bed. He gently nudged you back to sitting and then removed his shoes before grabbing you by your waist and moving you deeper into the bed, pushing you toward the pillows as he climbed over you and then untied your robe.
You let him open up the thick cotton and expose your naked body underneath. Harry smoothed his hands from your tummy up to your breasts and then leaned over you to place a small kiss at each nipple.
He looked up at you with innocent eyes, "You know I love you. Right? More than anything or anyone." He continued kissing over your breasts and you were quickly coming undone. Harry let his lips trail down to your sternum and lower toward your belly. His soft lips covered every inch of your skin as you remained silent still being a little stubborn.
Harry chuckled against your hip bone and then looked up at you, his light green eyes looking hungry and desperate, "I mean it. Please. You're all I want. All I can think of anymore. Don't be mad."
With his eyes still on you he brought his lips back to your hip bone before lowering to you pelvis and then like magic, the moment his mouth met your labia and then his tongue licked inside and found your clit you sighed and couldn't stop the smile from taking over your features.
"There she is. There's my good girl. Want your pussy licked baby? I'll show you how you're the only one I want. The only one I need."
You moaned and nodded at Harry and you saw him smile before delving in and covering your pussy with his mouth. Harry kept his eyes on you as he licked upward and stroked your clit, getting you all slippery and whiny until he knew you were ready for his fingers.
"No one does this to you but me," he said in a deep voice as he pushed his middle finger into your entrance and began stroking upward and then in and out. He put his mouth back over you, using his tongue to dance around your clit and it drove you crazy. You needed more pressure and he knew it, but he loved driving you crazy.
He added a second a finger and his fingers moved a little quicker as started to suck on your clit using his tongue to massage and encase your sensitive bud.
You put your hands into his hair and began to pull when you spread your legs further apart to give him as much access as he needed. You closed your eyes when his slurping and fingering felt like a warm zipper coming undone on your flesh. You groaned.
Harry used his free hand to pinch your thigh and you popped your eyes back open to look down at him with heaving breaths.
Harry lifted his mouth to speak to you, his lips grazing your pussy as he spoke his words, "Keep your eyes on Daddy. Want you looking at me when you come."
So you did your best. He always wanted you to watch when he ate you out. The way his tongue worked you, his lips sucked at you, his fingers fucked into you... and the sound of him slurping your cunt.
You began to moan in high, breathy noises. Harry's cheeks were shiny with you. He kept his eyes on yours as he continued his attack on your pussy and with his free hand he began to hold you down as you started to buck upward when you felt your end bubbling out.
"Daddy... oh my god!" Your words were moans and your ears began to ring as you struggled to keep your eyes open and on Harry's.
"Come on baby. Come on my face... come in Daddy's mouth," Harry grunted his words out and you noticed that he was gently rocking himself into the bed as he was working you to your end.
"Fffuuck!" You yelped as you released and fluttered your eyes closed for only a second before you felt Harry pinching at you again and you peeled your lids open and watched Harry as he continued licking and sucking with his fingers inside of you as you came. You moaned nonsense words and high pitched breaths as he at you out until you were so sensitive you were trying to push at his head but he had a vice grip on you and he didn't let up.
Harry's mouth was still eating away at your pussy and you squeezed your eyes closed, "Harry! Please!" you gasped your words as he licked over you clit, up and down, side to side. He slide a third finger inside of you and you opened your eyes and craned your neck to watch.
You began to feel your second orgasm wind around your insides as Harry's tongue didn't stop swiping over you. Everything was so wet and slick on your pussy with your own arousal and the spit Harry was using on you as he smoothed his mouth up and down.
The moment your second orgasm hit you felt like you were levitating. Harry had three fingers inside of you, knuckles deep as he sucked you in. He held you down and you writhed as you whined and moaned his name.
Harry laughed as you quivered and tears fell from your face. He knew he'd overstimulated you but he loved watching you struggle and come over and over again.
When you came down and your breathing was still a bit hard Harry lifted his face and began taking his clothes off. You watched him from your prone position with a smile of relief on your face.
Harry's dick was plumped and leaking at the tip already when he grabbed your thighs and dragged you to pull you closer.
"Daddy needs to come inside his baby now. Show you how much I love you. Fill you up with my come."
You were already so fucked out and you hadn't even technically been fucked but you nodded with a smile and Harry leaned down to kiss your mouth, he tasted like you.
He put his hands into your hair and gently smoothed it back. He looked at you for a moment with the soft eyes you loved so much. You loved it when he looked at you like this. It spoke everything to you that you wanted to know.
"Okay? Can I make love you to you now, baby? Want Daddy's cock?" Harry's lips were wet with you and his irises nearly completely covered by his pupils.
"Yes. Fuck me daddy. Make love to me."
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a-mere-dream · 2 years
Text
Arranged marriage where Shen Yuan is send of to be married to Emperor Yue, and he has to be dragged off kicking and screaming.
And he arrives there, desperately trying to wipe off the scowl on his face when he knows, he knows why he was the one chosen to be send, how everyone knows of the king's childhood fiance who disappeared one day and was never seen again, and of how the Emperor has never stopped mourning him, not really.
The fiance who looked a startling amount like him, the servants send to doll him up whisper.
So he's dressed up in red and so is the Emperor, they bow -- once, twice thrice -- and before he knows it, Shen Yuan is a married man.
And then comes the wedding night.
The wedding night, in which he remains untouched, the Emperor having collected all their heavy robes and made a nest for himself in the far corner of the room, explaining sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean for this to happen, I was just searching for any trace, any hope, and they took that as interest in you.
And left alone in the sprawling bed, Shen Yuan thinks about his parents, who jumped on the chance to marry him off, who have incredible political power for all that they are, technically, merchants. About how to spurn them would mean them selling their wheat and rice and everything to the kingdom next doors, who always welcome more food for their hungry people. Not a lot of produce gets grown that doesn't pass through his parents' hands.
And so he becomes Empress. He makes friends with his husband, who really is startingly pathetic and a little bit of a doormat when it comes to Shen Yuan demanding things, but is kind and knows how to keep the common people happy, how to keep away hunger and disease and war.
And he makes friends with his servants, one boy -- a young man, really -- in particular, who seems like he takes on more tasks every day, cooking and cleaning and everything that Shen Yuan needs done. He worries a little for him -- doesn't he need rest? -- so he asks, Binghe, come sit, look at this, what do you think? Play a game with me.
And one day Binghe comes in while he and Yue Qingyuan are having tea, when Shen Yuan is making a joke about how lucky he is that heirs are not required, when he's got two major barriers to that task.
And he goes wide-eyed and later asks, in hushed whispers, has he really not touched you? And Shen Yuan never wanted anyone to know, not when it would reflect badly on him, on his worth, but he tells him anyways, because it's Binghe, about how Yue Qingyuan can't bring himself to pretend when he knows it's not true.
And Binghe narrows his eyes, halfway caught between offended that Shen Yuan would ever not be enough for someone, and determined. Determined enough, in fact, to ask for all those vacation days he has never taken advantage off -- months, now -- and leave.
Shen Yuan pines a little, while he's gone, of course without ever noticing he's doing it. There are many mournful sighs over slightly too cold cups of tea.
And then he returns with a man spitting expletives, covered in scars and seemingly missing an eye below that snarled mess of hair.
He looks, Shen Yuan is somehow shocked to notice, a lot like him indeed.
Apparently, the man explains once he's calmed down a little, glowering at him from the corner where he stashed himself in, his old teacher got tired off him, and threw him into a pit. It took him five years to claw himself out of it, but not without leaving some bits of himself behind.
Shen Yuan stares at his thin robes, laying flat on the floor where a leg should be.
This point is when the doors are thrown open and the Emperor hurries in, throwing himself on top of the man without hesitating. Shen Yuan is tempted to retrieve his knife to take part in what looks like a vicious fight, but after one uncertain look at a very satisfied Binghe, he thinks that might not be what is happening.
So they leave the two alone, but not without a hissed order from Shen Yuan to use your words, for fucks sake, since he knows his platonic husband can get a little bit caught up in actions over words and forget that other people might actually like to hear things. That idiot.
Shen Yuan slams the door closed behind him, and breathes out a sigh and sags into the wood. Then loud noises carry over, not all of them of a conversation, and he decides he should actually, uhm. Go. Anywhere. As long as its not here.
Binghe follows him, of course, and they're not even a hall away before the boy asks if Shen Yuan thinks he'll get a divorce now. Shen Yuan squints at him. He sounded rather eager. Either way, he answers that politics fucking suck, and that divorces are Not Done in royalty like this, but that knowing his husband's skill at diplomacy, he'll find a way to do so that makes them come out of this all smelling like roses.
Binghe seems content with that answer.
Shen Yuan sighs a little, and remarks mournfully that now he'll have to get a job, ew. Maybe he'll even, horror above horrors, have to make his own food.
Binghe seems a little less content with that.
And that is the story of how Shen Yuan got divorced and engaged in the same day.
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honeywritten · 2 years
Text
Vacation
Madelyn Cline x Female Reader
Summary: Forced to go on a family vacation with a family you’ve never met turns out to be a lot better then you expected.
Warnings: Smut, oral (r receiving), and scissoring (let me know if I missed any)
Word count: 2.8k
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18+ only, minors dni
A family vacation with your dad's boss and his family was something a little out of your comfort zone. You're the stay at home type- the hoping plans get canceled even at the very last second type.
The Cline family is well established and important in your town, if you stopped someone at the grocery store they'd be able to tell you at least one funny story of the infamous Mr. Cline.
Your dad has been working for Mr. Cline for only 5 years, but after he scored a big deal for Mr. Cline he was so grateful he offered up a family trip.
Mr.Cline rented a huge beach house with 6 bedrooms, even though only 4 of them would be used.
You'd gotten home from college for summer break 2 days before your parents had you repacking to spend a week with people you don't even know.
You could just stay home, now that you're an adult you no longer had to ask permission, but there was a nagging voice in the back of your head telling you, you don't want to miss a free beach trip.
So that's how you convinced yourself to repack your things. Now you sit in the backseat of your parents car as they talk to each other about whatever it is parents talk about after 30 years together.
"Mr. Cline said he's bringing his daughter so you won't feel lonely" your dad offered like it was supposed to make you excited all of a sudden.
You send him a closed mouth smile through the mirror before turning to look out the window. You went to high school with Madelyn Cline- Miss Perfect.
She was a cheerleader back then, you remember her bouncing around the school cafeteria in her uniform every Friday. Back then you'd just roll your eyes and judge with your friends.
"She's really sweet, we met at the Halloween party, remember?" Your mom turns to your father who nods in agreement.
You know they're trying to better the situation but it only adds to your annoyance, now you had to spend the next 5 days trying to form some sort of friendship with a girl you've never spoken to.
Arriving at the beach house you mentally give yourself a pep talk, there are worst ways to spend a week so might as well soak in some sun and enjoy yourself for once.
"It's so nice to meet you! god you're pretty" Mrs. Cline lightly touches your face with a gorgeous smile decorating hers.
"Thank you" you respond with a nervous smile.
When she steps aside your eyes land on the Madelyn Cline, with dirty blonde hair, in high school it was brown.
She smiles at you and you take note that she got her smile from her mom. Both perfect.
"Hi, I'm Maddie" she extends her hand to you.
"y/n" you respond as your eyes roam her beautiful face. She looks different, it's obvious she's matured, her cheek bone more prominent.
Your eyes trail down her body for a second to take in that she's also gotten curves, bigger boobs and slightly wider hips.
Your attention is captured by the very loud parents as they make their way towards the house.
Maddie gestures for you two to follow them "I hope this isn't awkward, they're basically gonna be forcing us to hang out the whole time" she chuckles.
"We'll have fun" You send her a genuine smile before looking away, at least you hoped.
————
You and Maddie do end up hitting it off, you both find it really easy to keep up with each other and have similar senses of humor.
You don't think you've ever made a friend this fast.
Most nights you guys stay up well past 2 am just talking and watching movies. Your parents are glad you guys found a friendship so easily.
"Can I ask you a question?" Maddie ask on the third day at the beach.
"Course" you say. You're leaning back on your elbows, your towel laid out underneath you. With your tinted sunglasses shielding your eyes you sneakily glances at Madelyn's body.
She's wearing a cute sage green bikini and you can't help yourself.
"How come you haven't even mentioned a boyfriend? Or Ex?" Maddie had talked about her ex a few times, a boy from high school who she found out just last year had been cheating on her from the start.
"I've only dated one girl before but honestly it didn't last that long to form unhealthy attachments." You shrug.
Maddie smiles at you, slight mischief in her eyes. "You never told me you like girls" she says.
You shrug "it doesn't matter" then your eyes meet hers "does it?" nerves kick in.
You feel your body relax when Maddie shakes her head "of course not" but then she's leaning forward, your eyes instinctively shot to her breast before looking back up to her eyes.
"I thought you were but I didn't know how to ask" she says.
"Why does it matter?" You ask hesitantly.
She ignores the question that stupid sexy smile still on her lips. "Take off your glasses" she says.
"Wha- why?"
"I want to see your eyes every time they look at my tits" your mouth opens a gap as you gasp, heat rushing to your cheeks.
Using your shock to her advantage Madelyn reaches forward to lift your glasses.
Her fingers linger and play with your hair, tucking it behind your ears as she says lowly "look at them y/n"
Your eyes fall from her face to her tits without a second thought. You swallow the lump that has formed in your throat .
"Mhm" Maddie hums as her hand falls to your cheek. "Do you want to touch them?" She asks.
You look around at the random families and couples only 10 feet away from you guys. "There are people here" you say looking at to her face.
The smirk never leaves maddie's lips. "But you do? You do want to touch them?" She raises a brow and you find yourself nodding almost like you're on autopilot.
Just then your phone starts ringing, you immediately snap out of whatever bubble Madelyn has created to answer it.
Maddie watches with a cocky grin as you nervously answer your phone.
"Ok we'll be right there" you say before hanging up the phone.
"We have a family dinner reservation in a hour, they want us to hurry and shower so we can go" you say as you start collecting your things.
"Are we gonna shower together?" You nearly drop your things as you look back at the blonde.
"I'm joking" she laughs standing to help you with the things. "We don't have enough time" she says. 
God.
Through the entirety of the dinner you couldn't help but steal glances at Madelyn. She's in a cute yellow dress with her hair pulled into a effortless half up half down style.
When you all get home your parents decide they want to have a few drinks out on the patio.
You however don't think you can be around Madelyn any longer so you call it a night.
Slipping on a comfortable cropped tee and crawling into bed. You mindlessly scroll through Instagram for a few minutes before your phone dings with a text.
Madelyn Cline
Come to my room once our parents go to bed.
Your heart pounds in your chest and you try to grasp onto the unrealistic events that have taken place in the last 4 hours.
Your thumbs hover over the keyboard before simply typing out an OK and placing your phone down as you wait anxiously for your parents to call it a night.
What will happen in that room tonight?
Is she just teasing and is now inviting you to her room so she can laugh in your face?
Or are you about to have the best night of your life?
It's around midnight when you hear the click of a door shutting down the hall, looking over you see no light shining through from under your door meaning the parents have finally gone to bed.
Stepping out of the room your feet lightly pad against the cold hardwood floors as you ascend the stairs to the second floor where Madelyn's and family is staying.
You quietly turn the doorknob, sticking your head in just to check the room first. Maddie sits up immediately looking towards you with a smile. "Come in. Lock the door" she says.
You step in and turn to lock the door before hesitantly walking to her and the spot she pats on the bed. Your heart pounds so hard in your chest your sure Madelyn can hear it.
"You don't have to be so nervous" she says as she scoots closer to you.
"sorry" you respond softly "it's just very sudden you know"
Maddie hums "have you done this before?" Her finger trails up your arm, leaving goosebumps in her wake.
"Done what exactly?" You ask even though you're fairly certain you know what she's referring to.
Madelyn laughs softly "have you had sex with a girl before?" You're looking at her now, slowly her eyes make their way up to meet yours.
"With my ex, that's pretty much the extent of my experience" you say as Maddie trails her finger higher towards your neck. "What about you?"
"A few times" she responds. "Lay down for me" she directs you towards the pillow, you obey.
Soon Maddie is hovering over you, her eyes meet yours she says "I want to kiss you now" she's nearly nose to nose with you. "Can i kiss you?" She asks and you want to roll your eyes at the question but you don't.
Leaning forward you capture her lips in a slow kiss, Maddie is almost shocked that you made the first move with how nervous your are but she quickly takes control again, placing her palms on your checks as she deepens the kiss.
The kiss soon becomes sloppy and desperate as Maddie straddles your waist. Your hands grips the sides of her thighs before traveling up to her hips, she subtly rolls her hips, before she pulls away to tug at the hem of your shirt and you pull away from her lips to allow her to slip your shirt off and over your head.
Madelyn's eyes fall to your breast. and before you can think she's placing kisses all over your chest.
You look down at the blonde breathless as her eyes meet your just before she takes a tit into her warm mouth. You gasp and your hands move on their own accord slipping fingers through her hair as she sucks and lightly trails her teeth over your right tit before moving onto the left.
Maddie let's you sit up as she pulls away to kiss you again. Your hands go to her tank top and pull it up past her tits, resting on her chest and you blindly grope her full breast.
Pulling away you look down at Maddie's tits as you give them a nice squeeze making Madelyn laugh softly. "Do you like them?"
You ignore her question leaning forward to take a hard tit into your mouth. Running your tongue over it before giving it a suck.
Maddie releases a groan as she throws her head back.
But when your distracted by her she shoves you back once again.
She slides down your body, hooking her fingers into the sides of your panties before slowly pulling them down.
"Open your legs for me baby" she says and waits as you hesitantly part. "mm there you go" she smiles at you before placing herself between your thighs.
she plants kisses along your thigh. When you nod she opens up your legs a little wider before her tongue licks a long stripe over your slit.
You gasp looking down at the most beautiful girl right between your legs.
Her eyes remain on you as she explores your cunt with her tongue licking from your hole to your clit.
Your fingers slip through her silky hair once again making Maddie moan into your cunt. Then she pushes her face in deeper "Oh" you moan softly, in the back of your brain there's a reminder that both your parents are down the hall.
You throw your head back when she suckles on your clit a bit before pulling away.
Looking down your met with Maddie's lust blown eyes as she sticks her two middle fingers into her mouth to coat them in saliva before slowly easing them into your hole.
Her eyes don't leave you as you throw your head back once again unable to watch as Maddie starts pumping in and out at a teasing pace.
"Look at me pretty baby" she whispers and it take much effort for you to open your eyes and look down at the most perfect girl.
"Do you like it?" She picks up her pace as her thumb starts rubbing your clit. You nod as a low moan escapes your mouth.
"Yeah? How does it feel my baby?" She leans over your body to get a better look at your face in the moonlight.
"So- oh my god Mad's" you manage to get out.
Maddie laughs softly before lowering herself to take your clit back between her lips sucking as she experiments with curling her fingers.
You arch your back at the feeling, Maddie smiles against your cunt.
"I'm gonna cum, SHIT!" You're squirming wanting to grab something as the pleasure becomes unbearable.
"Come on y/n, cum for me baby" she says loud enough for you to hear her between your gasps for breath.
Your thighs threaten to snap shut but Maddie effortlessly keeps them open.
You cum as you bite down on your lip to keep quiet.
Maddie pulls her fingers out wet with your slick. She takes them into her mouth moaning at your taste.
You try to catch your breath as you take in the sight, Madelyn with her tits bare to you as she sucks in her fingers wet with you.
Maddie smiles her gorgeous smile as she slips off her shorts and underwear.
She's on her knees with her legs spread "god this is a sight straight from my dreams." She says. Your eyes watch her fingers slide down to her cunt "y/n post orgasm"  she rubs her clit.
"Just stay right there baby, I want remember this forever" she crawls up your leg "stay right there" she whispers as she lowers herself onto your thigh.
You gasp at the feeling of her warm wet cunt as she slowly starts grinding herself on you.
"mmm yes" her eyes don't leave you as she starts picking up her pace.
And then you realized, you want to make her moan, not just at the sight of you. When Maddie throws her head back with a moan you take advantage of her distraction and flips you both over so she's laying on her back for you.
Maddie stares up at you with an open mouthed smile. Ignoring her you slot your legs between hers and slowly lower yourself onto her wet pussy.
Maddie moans at the feeling immediately, she's never actually done this before because she never imagined how good it would feel as you start rubbing your clit against hers.
"Oh god baby" she moans throwing her head back her tits bounce with every grind.
"Now this is a sight" you say through breaths of air.
"What is?" She wants you to clarify
"You on your back a mess for me" you respond before gripping one of her tits in your palm.
Maddie is a moaning mess and a sense of pride mixes in with your arousal as your feel your end nearing.
"You're so pretty Maddie, I could just cum at the sight of you"
"Do it" she gasps her eyes finally meeting yours again "let's cum baby"
With a moan in sync you both fall into oblivion.
You fall into Madelyn's chest trying to catch your breath. Maddie soothingly runs her fingers through your hair.
You place a soft kiss on the swell of her breast before flopping on your back.
Madelyn let's our a breathy laugh now that's she's pumped full of endorphins to which you follow suit.
——-
The next morning you're awoken to pounding on the bedroom door.
"Madelyn" you jump awake turning to look at Maddie's still naked figure, she looks back at you with wide eyes.
"Madelyn is y/n with you?" It's your mom.
Your eyes search Maddie before calling out "yes I'm here"
"Alright sweetie just making sure" your mom's footsteps fade away. you release a breath you didn't know you were holding as you turn to look at Madelyn's face.
"We're friends y/n calm down" she leans forward pressing a kiss to your lips. "Friends share beds sometimes"
--------------
A/N
this is my first female smut imagine so ....... hope you enjoyed!! MWAH!
(might make a part two Idk yet)
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thezombieprostitute · 19 days
Text
Changing Minds - Part 5
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Summary: Your long time work acquaintance Nick Fowler offers to take you to a fancy fundraiser as a way of cheering you up. He insists it's only as friends but when he sees you falling into the grasp of someone he knows is no good, he might change his mind on that.
Word Count: ~1.2k
Warnings: Implied violence and attempted murder. Please let me know if I missed any.
A/N: Reader is an older female (late 30's +).
Part 4 -- Part 6
Series Masterlist
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You don’t get much sleep and finally give up trying when you get a phone call from your boss letting you know you’ve been given a week off to recover. You’re strongly tempted to dip into your regular time off and take a vacation but then you remember you’re being watched. Could you really enjoy a day on the town if someone’s trying to kill you or use you to send a message? Would you be able to relax at the beach if you know you’re not being protected by more than just Nick?
Ugh. Nick, you think bitterly. You know he couldn’t have predicted Mr. Kent’s interest in you. Nor the following incidents. But still, if he had just let you mope in private about your family issues, if he hadn’t been…if he hadn’t been the friend you really needed. You really can’t stay angry at him. You’re not ready to apologize to him, if you even need to apologize, but you’re ready to no longer be angry.
You walk back out to the main living area and it almost looks as if Nick hasn’t moved from his spot on the couch. The only reason you know he didn’t is because of the mug of tea in his hands. He’s staring at nothing. 
“Nick?”
Your voice startles him out of his trance. He spills a little of the tea in surprise and he realizes it’s been sitting so long it’s gone cold. “Yes,” he questions, “what do you need?” His icy blue eyes are practically begging you for ways to make things right. 
“Update from my boss, I’m not going to work for at least a week,” you report. “I don’t know if you need to tell your security team about that.”
“I’ll let them know,” he grabs his phone and starts texting. “They’ll still monitor, in case someone comes by looking for you, but it’ll help them prioritize.” You nod and he continues, “are you going to go right back to work after that or take some more time off?”
“I really don’t know,” you sigh. 
“That’s okay,” he quickly asserts. “We’ll take this a day or two at a time, okay?” You nod in agreement. “In the meantime, how about some food? We’ve got people watching your apartment so I can go get you some lamb curry from Shalimar. Or I can have someone else go pick it up, pretend it’s a GrubHub delivery.”
“How did you know I like lamb curry,” you interrupt him. “Specifically from Shalimar?”
“One or two of our conversations, we’ve talked about lamb,” he says. “Complaining about how difficult it can be to find at a reasonable price around here. I did some checking while you were asleep and Shalimar is the only place that delivers around here and has a reasonably priced lamb curry.”
“I’m impressed,” you admit, nodding your head. “Whichever option is safest, I would absolutely love some lamb curry.”
“Okay,” Nick gets up from the couch. “I’ll go and get it. Can’t have too many people in and out of the area lest one of our people gets ID’d. We’ve got Jake monitoring the security cams at your building’s doors and a couple of…bruisers are setting up in another apartment. They get a notice from Jake they’re at your door in seconds.”
You’re not sure you’re ready to be alone but you don’t want to tell Nick that so you just nod. As soon as he’s out the door you rush to lock it. You try to do some reading, make some tea, turn on the TV, anything to distract yourself but it’s not working. Every noise makes you jump and the silence isn’t better. You curl up into a ball on the couch and just wait for Nick to get back.
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Nick is completely on edge the entire trip to the restaurant. He’s hyper-alert and constantly second guessing his perceptions. Is that car really following me or is it a coincidence? Was that shadow moving or am I moving too quickly? He’s continually checking his phone to see if there are any new messages, any texts that you’re in danger. He needs to calm down but he finds he can’t because he’s too scared about you. Specifically, he’s scared to lose you.
Yes, he was trying to play at being interested to keep you safe. Yes, you’re convinced that he has only ever wanted to be friends. But the bomb scare woke something up in him. You were in danger and he couldn’t get to you. He had failed you. In so doing, he realized he actually did want to be more than friends with you. His chaotic, hellish life was made so much more bearable with you around. Stable, kind, intelligent you. 
But now you were, justifiably, pissed off at him. He volunteered to get the food not because it was safer, but because he figured you needed your space from him. He kept screwing up everything and that was throwing him off kilter. He’s always been surefooted, careful, sharp. Now it felt like he was drowning in quicksand. He needed to get his head together if he was ever going to be able to pull himself out of this mess. 
Inside the restaurant he places his order to go, getting himself a little something to eat as well. He pretends to be interested in his phone while he waits, actually keeping a side eye on the door. He considers your requirements for the fake dating and remembers he should also get you a small gift. He ponders for a minute, looking around the restaurant before he hears his order number. He leaves the restaurant, still on high alert, but with a determination to make this up to you. To keep you in his life. 
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You receive a text message from Nick saying that he’s back and he’s about to knock on the door. Sure enough, you hear two knocks but you still check through the peephole to be sure. You unlock the door and let Nick in. Along with the promised food, he’s also carrying a stuffed animal, a puppy holding a bone in its mouth. You can’t help the little “aww” that escapes you, seeing this dangerous man holding such a soft, adorable toy. He smiles a little and hands it to you. You don’t hesitate to take it and squeeze it tight. It helps you feel a little better. 
“Thank you for the gift, Nick,” you smile softly.
“Well, you said to bring a gift every time I see you.”
“I…I meant that as part of the fake dating thing. You didn’t have to start so soon.”
“I wanted to,” he asserts. “Especially if it’s something that might help you.” 
You see the pain in his eyes, see the sincerity written all over his face, so you nod and whisper “thank you”. The two of you eat your meal in silence, just some background noise from a show you pretend to pay attention to. You’re still not ready to tell him you feel safer with him around. You don’t know you’ll ever be ready for that. But this is a nice step towards that. 
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Part 4 -- Part 6
Series Masterlist
Tags:
@alicedopey
@jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory
@rebekahdawkins
@texmexdarling
If you'd like to be tagged, please let me know.
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muddyorbsblr · 1 year
Text
paris
See the full 14 Days Collection here! See my full list of works here!
Summary: After spending the last few hours pretending to be a loving couple while on a mission in Paris, Jonathan decides to lose himself in the fantasy of having you to himself.
Pairing: Jonathan Pine x Reader
Word Count: 1.5k
Warnings: 18+ | smutty (minors & pearl clutchers, know your place…it ain't here); 1 cuss word
Things to be aware of: coworkers/mission partners to lovers
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The second you walked in to your hotel room, you kicked off the death trap excuse for 'shoes' you had on your feet, your toes and ankles practically screaming in relief that the infernal torture devices were finally away from them, slumping against the door and taking a few steadying breaths of your own before padding across the room with only your stockings to cover your feet and pouring  yourself a glass of rosé.
You'd spent the last three hours rubbing elbows and schmoozing with the self-proclaimed 'elite of society' in a gathering within the Parisian vacation home of one of Austria's most notorious drug cartel leaders who had began to encroach on the space left empty in the weapons trade with the capture of Richard Roper. Jonathan had reassumed his identity as the disarmingly seductive Andrew Birch, throwing his name into the hat to take over the seat that Roper left empty.
He had the contacts that would still be more than willing to conduct business with him if the cover ever had to go that far. Not to mention a cozy little nest egg of 300 million that everyone seemed to have forgotten about in the pandemonium of it all.
Meanwhile you were there to pretend to be his right hand and fiancee, infiltrate the Austrian's private study, and find the damning evidence that showed he was putting out feelers in order to establish himself in the arms trade as 'the new Roper'. All the while putting on a show that you and Birch were the very definition of insatiable.
Dancing together in the middle of the extravagant ballroom, your bodies pressed together so closely you were almost intimately familiar with each curve of his muscled physique. Never having a moment where no part of your body was touching the other's somehow, whether it be a hand to his chest to display the engagement ring that solidified your personas in a display of feigned possessiveness, or his arrantly large hand curving around your waist and pulling you closer to him.
And then there was the kissing, which you couldn't even bring yourself to think about without melting into a puddle of your own vulgar thoughts involving you and Pine and the bed in your hotel room.
"Keep dreaming, Y/L/N, you're not his type," you mumbled into your wine glass, pissed at yourself for lamenting over goddamn Jonathan Pine instead of just letting yourself enjoy the view of Paris at night, the Eiffel Tower lit up and washing over the city in a romantic glow.
The sound of your door opening suddenly had you ready to break the wine bottle to use as a makeshift weapon to defend yourself. "Stand down, Y/N, it's only me."
You could feel your body easing up from its defensive stance at the sound of Jonathan's voice. "Now how did you know I was arming myself already?"
"Because if you weren't I'd be immensely disappointed in you and might have to throw you back to training. Teach you a thing or two." You did your best to not let it show that his words had such a bestial effect on you, that you were currently doing your damnedest not to press your thighs together to relieve the way your pussy started clenching around nothing.
The ache between your legs intensified with each step you heard him taking in your direction, the sounds of him pouring himself a glass of wine a few mere feet behind you sending a thrill throughout your entire body.
"It's beautiful," he whispered as he walked up behind you, the combined warmth from the alcohol and the feel of his chest against your back making your mind run rampant with obscene thoughts of him carrying you back into the room and stripping you of the slinky satin number draped over your curves. Making you scream for him until the entire hotel -- hell, the entirety of Paris -- knew exactly who it was that brought you to such an insatiable state that you were reduced to incoherent screams of his name.
You fought against the twitching of your free hand to reach for his as he placed it on the balcony railing, so close to your own, opting instead for what you often tended to do in his presence when you weren't assuming any type of persona: you rambled.
"When I was a little girl all the way up until probably before the IEA I dreamed of traveling the world. When I was transferred to Angela's division sometime last year, I got to see most of it, but this place still lurked in the back of my mind. And before you assume it's about the fashion or the romance, no. I was after the food." And a little bit of the romance, you finished internally. "The view's good, too, I guess," you capped off cheekily.
As you turned your head to ask him what he was doing in your room in the first place, a startling realization dawned on you the moment your gazes met.
He wasn't looking at the view.
"Jonathan--"
Before you could say anything else, he silenced your words by leaning down and capturing your lips in a soft kiss, the taste of him paired with the wine creating a heady combination that threw you off balance. You were only faintly aware of him taking your glass from your hand and placing it down on the small table next to the bottle based on the sounds of your glasses clinking together.
"I had a peek into what it would be like to call you mine tonight," he murmured against your lips, his hands settling on the curves of your waist and pulling you towards him to press your back firmer against his chest. "Now I can't deny my feelings for you anymore. I can't keep telling myself to stay away because it would complicate our work or some other bullshit excuse."
You whimpered as he laid his lips on yours again, your knees buckling from his delicate licks at the parting of your lips, asking for entrance that you were more than happy to grant him, moaning and relaxing into his hold as your tongues met.
"Please," he whispered as he pulled away from you. "Tell me I'm not making a complete fool of myself here, telling you how I've dreamed of you. Of us. Finally together--"
"You're not." You spoke your words in a rush, placing your hands over his comparatively larger ones and threading your fingers in between his own. "I've…I've dreamt about you, too. Wanted you--"
He pressed his lips to yours again, the rest of your words fading on the tip of your tongue as he slipped his hands out of yours and began to roam your body. You let out a muffled moan when he'd touched the exposed skin of your thigh from your dress's high slit, his fingers starting to bunch up the fabric and slowly exposing more of your legs to the cold Paris air.
"What're you doing?" you breathed out, biting your lip as he kissed along your neck and shoulder, nipping and licking at the expansive amount of exposed skin thanks to your dress.
"In the morning we'll roam the city, like tourists. We'll sample the best food that Paris has to offer." Your giggles from his plan for the morning quickly turned into moans as  he proceeded to suck a bruise into the back of your neck. "Tonight will be spent working up our appetite."
When you turned your head to face him, he nipped at your shoulder again, tightening his hold on you.
"Eyes forward, darling. And put your hands on the railing." You let out a shaky moan as you followed his  soft-spoken command, your jaw going slack as his hands began to work your panties down your legs. "I want you to look back at your memories of this city, of that view in front of us, and remember this."
You felt him settle behind you again, wrapping an arm across your stomach. The sound of a zipper being undone and the shuffling of trousers and the soft clinking of a belt buckle piercing the low buzz of the city around you. Your grip around the railing tightened until you felt your skin stretched taut over your knuckles when you felt the tip of his length brushing along your folds, and then lining himself up at your entrance. "Jonathan--!"
Suddenly his lips were at your ear, his breath warming your skin in the cold night air. "Whenever you close your eyes and remember this view, I want you to remember every touch. Every kiss." He emphasized his words by pressing a wet, open-mouthed kiss to the back of your shoulder, groaning against you as he flicked his tongue against your skin. "I want you to remember being worshipped by the man that loves you."
All words died at the tip of your tongue as he inched his way inside of you, the only coherent thought remaining in your mind being 'He loves me back'.
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A/N: Welcome to the first Jonathan Pine story of the collection! Again…because deadlines…I had to fade to black this one. And I don't have plans for a part 2 as far as this story goes.
'everything' taglist: @lokisgoodgirl @lokischambermaid @imalovernotahater @mygfloki @lucylaufeyson3 @thomase1 @fictive-sl0th @mochie85 @laliceee @xorpsbane @gigglingtigger @silverfire475 @cabingrlandrandomcrap @vickie5446 @salempoe @lokixryss @sinsandguilt @lokidbadguy @alexakeyloveloki @glitterylokislut @cakesandtom @girl-of-multi-fandoms @mischief2sarawr @thedistractedagglomeration @five-miles-over @goblingirlsarah @huntress-artemiss @holymultiplefandomsbatman @lovingchoices14 @devilsadvocactus @lokiprompts @sititran @ladyjames78 @kikster606 @evelyn-kingsley @kats72 @creationsbyme @coldnique @athalialaufeyson @simplyholl @tallseaweed @sarahscribbles @unlucky-number-13 @ozymdias @maple-seed @ladyofthestayingpower @wolfsmom1 @km-ffluv @psychospore @loopsisloops @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @lovelysizzlingbluebird @peaches1958
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yanderelmk · 11 months
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Okay uhm hmmm
How about headcannons with MK, Mei, Red Son, Macaque, Wukong, and maybe Syntax
What if the reader kinda just disappeared for like a month. No trace of them left
Then they come back from vacation because they needed a break from the yanderes. Of course they would never know that
(You can ignore if it’s too troublesome-) ✨
A/N: Got so long I had to make a Part 2 sdighidof ---------------------------------------------- MK: - Absolutely inconsolable, constantly trying to message and call you to find out where you are -Extreme anxiety over whether you're safe or not, worrying if one of the demons got to you -Begins to fall into a depressed state thinking he got you hurt and/or killed -Can't sleep because all he can think about is that you might be out there waiting for him to save you but he can't find you. This is literally his nightmare scenario -The SECOND you come back he's clinging hard like a puppy and not letting you go. Constant calls and texts. I imagine especially during/after LBD he has serious separation anxiety so you just dropping off the face of the Earth for so long was massively bad MEI: -She tried to use every tech trick she knows to track down your location, the second she gets a ping she is going AFTER you, if you avoided her for a month it was likely at a place with no cell service -Would've been heavily stalking your social media for any tiny hint about where you were, analyzing whose posts you recently liked to see who might know where you are -Second you enter city limits she is going to ZOOM when you cell phone pings off the nearest cell tower -Clinging. So much clinging. Your arm is hers and she's not releasing -She may or may not bet trying to figure out a way to bug you so she can track where you go RED SON: -Red Son had bull clones sweeping the city and surrounding area the second he realized you were gone -Started going through a whole mourning arc thinking that you must have died, swearing that whatever brought about your end would know no peace so long as he had breath in his body -He's going to be FURIOUS when you come back and reveal that you went traipsing off without telling him - "I THOUGHT SOMETHING HAPPENED TO YOU! Do you know how many enemies my father has accumulated over the years?! I could not sleep or eat, I worried that somehow in some way they knew of your connection to me and were torturing you!" -You're gonna have to do a lot of making up to him, though of course he would never leave you, he'll just demand to know where you are every second of every hour of every day until his anxiety over the matter calms -He's gonna get so fed up with worrying that you're going to run off every time you leave for the store, but he has a solution! -WOE, INTO THE BASEMENT YE GO MACAQUE: -When he notices you're gone after the first few days, he began sending out his shadow clones to find word of you -He begins panicking more and more when he realizes you're not in the city -If necessary he'll have as many clones as he can make scouring the whole country for you -When he does find you and realizes you're safe, that you just left without telling him, he's going to be enraged -Just keeping you tied up in his cave isn't good enough. Oh no no no. -You'll be kept in the Lantern as punishment until he feels like you've learned your lesson, and then you'll be kept in his cave for the rest of your days
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hetalia-angel · 3 months
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could you do headcanons for who the 2p allies would be in a horror movie!!!
Horror Movie Headcanons
A/n most of these aren’t connected, enjoy!
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America/ 1st girl/ The pawn.
1:He’d be the first one to go. As soon as he heard sounds outside he’d open up the front door to investigate. Then the killer would strike. I imagine Allen would put a good fight; all his fight or flight instincts coming forward in a futile attempt to stay alive.
2: Allen would be the one to bring everyone to a secluded cabin that’d been condemned for good reason. Something that should’ve been lost to time that was reopened like Pandora’s box releasing destruction into him and his friends.
France/ Harbinger / The wise old man
1: François would be disgruntled man at the beginning of a horror movie. The one who warns our main cast of the danger they’ll face if they continue on. His ominous predictions and apathetic expression would be dismissed as some crazy drug addict looking for a reaction.
2: When our main cast themselves getting into trouble they’ll run to François for help as he’d been in the same situation before. He’d be paranoid and isolated wanting nothing to do with them, however the advice he gives is vital to survival. François will provide all the backstory the viewers need for the killer.
Russia/ the skeptic/ the scholar
1: Viktor would deny any implications of an entity. Simply dismissing it as impossible and a thing parents use to scare off children. In the end he’ll meet his demise by the very hands of the so called “fictional entity.” This death would prove to our main cast that the danger was far too real.
2: Viktor would attempt to use his savvy to save his life. Researching anything and everything on this killer or entity to know how they became and how to take them down. If it’s an entity he’ll find their weaknesses and devise a plan to catch them. On the other hand if it’s a killer Viktor will meet his end by joining the kill count in a drawn out fight scene with the killer
Canada/ The hunter/ Slasher
1: Matthieu would be dedicated to taking down the killer for good. He’d rush in to save our final girl or at least give them time to escape from the killer. While our viewers are all rooting for him to save the day one of our main cast members will mistake him for the killer and add him to the kill count. Putting an end to the protection that Matthieu brought.
2: When our main cast decides to take a hedonistic vacation to his woods they’ll be met with a vengeful axe wielding maniac. Matthieu will make it his personal mission to exterminate our main cast from the forest forever. Carefully picking them off one by one with a surgeons precision.
China/ The final girl/ The hysteric
1: While many viewers might mistake Zao for the stereotypical token that’ll be killed off in the beginning of the movie they’re sorely mistaken. Zao would make it to the end by pure luck as his friends are killed off. He would gather any weapon he could find and try and wait out our killer. While if it’s an entity he’ll be searching the house for any sign of the supernatural, keeping all lights on, and following every Chinese superstition he knows of. Anything to stay alive and keep harm far far away.
2: The thought of a possible killer/entity will send Zao into an irrational panic. He’ll be twitching at every noise he hears. All basic survival skills and instinct are simple tossed out the window. When he sees our hunter he’ll catch them off guard and attack them as he mistakes them for the killer.
England/ The sacrificer/ The killer
1: Oliver would gather our main cast together for a fun getaway in a secret ploy to sacrifice them to the supernatural entity. He’ll summon the entity to the house when everything goes wrong. Instead of taking the others as the sacrifice the angry entity is out for blood and no one is safe. Oliver will be killed off early leaving our main cast to fight for themselves.
2: The killer that no one saw coming is a fitting role for Oliver, as he’s the epitome of a wolf in sheep’s clothing. He’ll pick off our main cast one by one as he hides amongst them pretending to be just as clueless as the rest of them. Right until it gets down to only him and our final girl. As Oliver and our final girl plan to escape together away from the killer he strikes. Catching our final girl off guard he’ll attempt to add them to the kill count, however our final girl will prevail giving our viewers the satisfying ending they hoped of.
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aphrodite1288 · 5 months
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im sorry but saying ksoo never said Ji about his premature enlistment is the most ridiculous thing you've ever said. I mean that's something he didn't decide a week before his enlistment it might be imposible for Ji not knowing that. If that's true which I think it's not the case I directly broke up with him like that's not a decision you make alone if u are in a long term relationship
First of all guys whom are Non-Kaisooists, I saw Kadi kissing and going on Vacations in Spain, Hungary, Hawaii, L.A, Philippines and Jeju, and in Sapporo and Osaka, you will not affect me or change my mind with your asks. So spear yourself the effort and don't come here if our blog irritates you! What you believe keep it for yourself no need to come convince us what you believe. Do I make you this Angry that you had to come anonymously send such dumb questions?
So back to the main topic:
If you were a real EXOL you would know EXO said Ksoo came to them without any notice and said I'm going to be enlisted in 2 months and it was in April and they clearly said they were shocked all of them when he announced that he applied for the Military and signed all the paperwork and done some of the medical checkups.
And Honey, I didn't say it ! It's the People who know better than me and you said.
The members also said he told them nonchalantly as if it wasn't a big deal. He didn't even discuss it with the company to reschedule any future projects because simply he has had enough of SM and he sabotaged them his own way. And the members said they were all so supportive.
And Ji was there with them and after Ksoo's enlistment Ji went absent for two months straight no bubble messages no Instagram lives nothing he went disappearing. under the excuse that he forgot his password. After that he was so depressed and sad and shortly before SuperM's debut he came on RadioStar show and revealed he suffered from Depression the past few months which explains his absence , he also said he is seeking medical help with a therapist!
And I still remember the MC shamelessly and Rudely asked Suho if he knew about this and him and the members were all so taken aback and they showed sad expression and that Stupid MC again shamelessly told Suho : "Did you know about your member was mentally exhausted and depressed? You Should be more attentive to your members'mental health!!" and Suho was so embarrassed and hurt that he apologized to Jongin and told him " I'll pay more attention to you and the members from now on and always come to Hyung whenever you feel like you need to talk, don't hide it". Because Ji clearly said he didn't tell any member that he was in deep depression or that he was regularly seeing a Therapist.
And it was a very critical Kadi period that he went for hiatus for two months and even earlier that year in 2019 after jenkai, Ksoo fought with SM and was reported to have left the company remember March 13th 2019?? (if you were in this blog since 2019 they talked a lot about this and explained everything regarding how Jenkai is related to Ksoo's case with SM and how it affaceted Kadi and Ji). Ksoo went missing since Jenkai exactly since January 5th when he was seen in Blue dragon awards show or whatever I don't remember the name, until his enlistment day July 1st, he was ABSENT. AKsoo took a long vacation refusing to be on any Schedule and refused to film Underdogs2 and refused all Acting projects and even refused to be on any Exo schedule as he was in a major mental health crisis and he even filed a lawsuit saying he was being overworked for 7 years with 0 off days unlike the other members, it was his first vacation since he debuted and SM only gave him 7 days vacation in 7 years and he talked about it in The 100Days Husband Press Conference and Booklet ,it's one of the main reasons he wanted to leave which is why the rumor dropped in March 2019, it was reported that he wanted all the accumulated Vacations since 2012 SM wanted to rob from him! Which is why he went missing for 6 months and we saw him going to Japan 3 times with Chanyeol in February remember? Also Baekhyun said he met Ksoo accidentally in Japan and they had a meal together. At that time Ji went to Philippines with his friends. This time Kadi were on a break from each other. And Ji didn't speak to Ksoo and there were no sightings of the both of them together anywhere and Ksoo didn't stay with Ji at all and they weren't even on talking terms.
Every couple have downfalls like this it's normal. We all almost broke up or even broken up with our partners at one point of our lives. Especially if you're in over a decade relationship of almost 14 years.
Anyway the story is too long. I can explain it all if you DM me instead of Hiding like this.
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