#He’s a DILF of course I’d love him

[mrwavellswaps]

Step-Bro Switch Up! (Re-Upload)

Instead of a new story this week I’ve decided to re-upload an old favourite instead. As some of you may or may not know, the original version was completely wiped from the surface of the internet by Tumblr to the point where there wasn’t even a trace of its existence. I wasn’t even notified of this when it happened which feels like it’s own separate issue considering it was my biggest ever story but I digress. I thought that now might be the appropriate time to re-unleash this story upon the world and allow those who loved the original to enjoy it once again and for those who never got a chance to read the original to discover it for the first time. That said I’m hoping to come out with some new and fresh content very soon but in the meantime I hope you all enjoy this return of an old classic!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I found myself waking up at 6:30am in the morning which was rather unusual for me but not so much for my body. I soon realised why though as a low rumble came from my stomach. With a sigh I slid out of bed, trying not to wake the other sleeping jock beside me in the process. I didn’t even bother putting on underwear, instead walking to the kitchen buck naked.

I waltzed up to the fridge, opening it up before pulling out a carton of juice. After taking a few huge gulps I lick my lips and let out a deep belch. Next thing I’m rummaging through to see what I can make for breakfast. Had to make sure I kept this big body fed after all. Can’t let all my step-brother’s hard work go to waste. Confused? Well let me start at the beginning…

———

A few years back not long after I turned 20 my mom met a guy named Devin who she soon started dating. Pretty big guy with a bearish ex-jock physique. He was 45 at the time so a similar age to my mom and they seemed to get along great. I certainly didn’t mind having some extra dilf eye candy around the house every now and then. I soon learned however that Devin was also a single Dad with a 22 year old son which certainly peaked my interest.

When I first met him I almost couldn’t believe my eyes. He introduced himself as Sam but I was almost too hypnotised by his looks to notice. He was the perfect image of a star college jock with enormous well rounded muscles that bulged under his clothes while standing at an imposing 6’3, practically dwarfing my lean 5’8 frame. And of course he was devilishly handsome too because the hot body wasn’t already enough, even having a great full beard that I was jealous of. I even remember how I had to hide my pulsing boner after he pulled me in for a quick bro hug, his manly scent getting caught in my nostrils.

After that Sam became a frequent part of my jerk off fantasies. Could you blame me? Not only was he the epitome of masculinity but my god did he have an incredible ass. Whenever Sam had his back turned I couldn’t help but have my eyes glued to those massive globes, no doubt stretching whatever pants he was wearing. Honestly I felt truly blessed to be able to spend time around such a man.

Anyway fast forward about two years and my mom had already gotten married to Devin. It was an amazing ceremony but for half of it all I could think about was how me and Sam were now Step-Brothers. We were truly intertwined now. I didn’t think the idea of that would turn me on as much as it did. That fucking hunk, my brother.

Shortly after the wedding however, the roommate Sam had been sharing an apartment with decided to move out and live with his new partner. At first Sam had been considering downsizing to a smaller apartment but when he brought this up I knew this was my chance. I pounced on the opportunity and told him I’d been thinking of moving out for awhile and that it’d be cool to spend some more time with my new brother if he was down for that. To my excitement he actually accepted and the next thing I know I’m moving my stuff out of my moms house and into Sam’s apartment. I was surprised at how clean it all was for the most part. Then again Sam wasn’t your typical dumb jock either, he always seemed very mature and put together.

The two of us got on pretty well living together. We tried to respect each other’s space and chatted a lot as good friends. Luckily I did well to hide my excitement whenever I saw him walking around shirtless, showing off his huge hairy chest, or god forbid only a pair of tight boxer briefs. The day I first saw that was the day I nearly creamed myself on the spot. Oh and while I respected his space when he was around, whenever I was home alone I couldn’t help but give into the devil on my shoulder before rummaging through his room. I tried not to take anything but every time without fail I’d sift through his dirty laundry, pulling out whatever sweaty clothes I could find and relishing in the smell.

For about 6 months that’s how my life was. Living under the same roof as my hot step-bro while trying not to let him see my dirty secret. That is until I found a certain little spell online. Pretty much I’d been searching up some fetishy body swapping stuff online and ended up stumbling across some weird body swapping ritual. Of course I didn’t believe it but the masses of comments on the page claiming it to have worked peaked my interest.

Next thing I know I’m up in the middle of the night waiting until I was certain that Sam was asleep before sneaking into his room. It didn’t take long for me to find the pair of yellow underwear he’d had on that day, giving it a quick sniff before stuffing it in my pocket and retreating back to my room. Once there I was able to start the ritual. I placed the underwear in the middle of a circle I’d drawn on the floor surrounded by candles before chanting some magical phrases that were supposed to enchant them. I can’t tell you how stupid I felt at that moment but I continued on anyway, finishing everything I needed to say before grabbing the underwear again. At that point all I had to do was wear it.

I yanked on Sam’s ‘enchanted’ yellow briefs with the hope that my wish would come true but as I’d expected, nothing happened. With a sigh I cleaned up the mess I’d made with this ritual stuff, feeling like an idiot as I did before heading to bed. I decided to keep Sam’s oversized briefs on though because just wearing them was making me hard even if I was still myself. I remember I’d begun to jack off in them, imagining how hot it’d be to see him wearing them after I’d stained them with my cum. That is until a wave of tiredness swelled across my body and before I knew it I was fast asleep.

It seems I must’ve underestimated that ritual because overnight something truly magical took place. When I awoke I already knew something was off when I noticed my feet hanging off the edge of my bed. I sat up in confusion only to feel much heavier than normal while looking down the bed to see a pair of much larger feet. Next thing I yank off my bed sheets only to find a massive, hairy, muscular body that certainly wasn’t my own.

Right away I was running my hands along the ridges of my abs before grasping the heft of my giant new pecs, loving all the fur as I was previously rather hairless. Jumping out of bed I was quick to discover that my lower body was just as hairy and impressive with huge quads, and impressive calves. And then it started to hit me. I didn’t realise it at first as I’d never seen it from this angle but these giant legs, these bulging arms, these bulbous pecs… they all seemed exactly like Sam’s! I was even still wearing his briefs which now clung tightly to my form as I didn’t fail to notice the familiar bulge in the front. Only… it was my bulge!

At that moment I knew what must’ve happened but my rational mind pleaded that it was impossible. Still I burst out of my room and made a beeline for the bathroom and what I saw in the mirror made me want to cheer, shout and most of all cream my new underwear. I saw none other than the sexy bearded face of my step-brother staring back in disbelief.

As you can imagine I spent the next 20 or so minutes inspecting every inch of my new muscle bound body. I did all sorts of poses to show off my physique in every way, pulled different kinds of weird faces in the mirror, relished in rubbing my hands through the full beard I was never able to grow before. Having the body I’d been lusting over for these past years at my disposal felt like some kind of lucid wet dream. But it was real! From my brother’s handsome face, to his giant muscle ass, to even his fat cock! All mine!

Soon enough I’d yanked off the underwear and started pumping my dick in ecstasy, loving how my hand only just fit the whole way around. Waves of pleasure cascading across my new body as I used my free hand to grope at my hairy pecs, the deep groans I let out only making me hornier. Before I could shoot my new seed however, I heard a scream come from what I can only guess was Sam’s room. Up until now I hadn’t even thought about the real him but judging by that scream I had only one guess as to what’d happened.

Instead of slipping the boxer briefs back on I decided to grab a towel instead and wrap it around my waist. I didn’t want him to think something was up to see me already wearing his clothes after all. With that I turned to the mirror one last time, scanning my face and upper body again with wonder. I still couldn’t get over it.

Upon entering Sam’s room I was somewhat surprised to see an exact copy of myself stood freaking out at his body. I should’ve been expecting it but it was still extremely weird nonetheless. Then, as he saw me stood in the doorway, he went silent. Naturally he was in shock for a good moment or two but as soon as it passed he began shouting a bunch obscenities at me. Demanding who the fuck I was and how I looked like him. He even tried to punch me which I’ll be honest wasn’t all that scary considering I was now twice his size.

Right then I knew I had a few ways I could go about this. I could admit that I caused this to happen, I could tell him that I had no clue how any of it happened, or even pretend to be completely oblivious and act as if I was really Sam. The horny devil on my shoulder told me to rub it in his face that I now had his irresistible jock body and that he was stuck with my unathletic one but I couldn’t. Sure we weren’t super close or anything but he was always friendly towards me and was never a dickhead so I decided to take it easy on him.

I pretended to be just as confused as he was, saying who I really was but not having any idea how this happened. I think I was pretty convincing. We ended up sitting in his room and discussing it for what felt like hours, going over everything that happened last night as Sam tried to comprehend the situation. Of course he only went on and on about finding a way to fix this and I had to pretend as if I cared, trying not to get distracted by my own body. In fact there were multiple points where I had to keep hiding the tent starting to grow under my towel because of how hot it was to look down and see a shelf of muscle sitting on my chest.

Eventually I was able to convince him that we weren’t going to figure this out any time soon so we had to start thinking about how we were going to live each overs lives. As you can imagine he wasn’t all that fond of this idea, protesting it at first but eventually came to see reason. I suggested we should start discussing all the important details we’d need to know but before that I wanted to get some actual clothes on. I had to try not to grin while telling him to get out of my room while I changed. Though I couldn’t help dropping the towel just before he left and showing off the meaty cock and impressive ass he used to have. I caught him glancing back with a look of envy, the very same look I used to give.

Of course getting dressed in Sam’s clothes was an erotic experience in itself. All of these large shirts, pants, briefs and socks that would’ve swamped my former body now fitting me perfectly. I must’ve spent at least 15 minutes or so just trying on different clothes while jerking my cock a little in between until I heard a knock at the door and my former voice asking what the hell was taking so long. With a sigh I tucked my new toy away and waltzed out in what I was currently wearing. A pair of well fitting black shorts and a large pair of black and white socks. I didn’t bother grabbing a shirt since I just couldn’t help but show off this bod. Could you blame me?

When he asked what I’d been doing I simply said I was trying on clothes. He knew there was more to it than that but decided he didn’t really wanna know. Instead we opted to both take a seat in the living room and start discussing things. I told him everything he needed to know about my retail job, which wasn’t a whole lot to be honest, as well as my friend group and what my daily routine was like. Afterwards Sam begrudgingly did the same for me, telling me all about his part time job as a fitness instructor at the local gym and that if we were stuck like this then I’m gonna need to learn how all gym equipment works and fast. He also gave me some inside info on his own friend group as well as walking me through what his football practice is like with the team. Part of me was worried hearing all this as I was beginning to wonder if I could really pull off being Sam but at the same time I was excited beyond belief to get into these social situations and convince people of the new me.

Thankfully it was Sunday so neither of us had a whole lot going on that day which gave us plenty of time to think and adjust without stressing. I spent most of it half naked and I loved catching glimpses of Sam glancing at his former body as I showed it off, even getting a little cocky by flexing every now and then which he didn’t appreciate all that much. Honestly I was surprised at how hungry I was as well and just how much I was able to eat. I mean I guess it made sense since a body this big needs a lot of fuel. Sam helped me a little with my meals though, making sure there was a bunch of protein and healthy calories to make sure I was feeding his body correctly. Later that day he also got me to head out for some cardio which I wasn’t too thrilled about at first but I actually kinda enjoyed it once I got running. I especially enjoyed my new sweaty scent that produced during it, not being able to help sniffing my pits when I got back. Of course Sam told me to go get a shower but before I did I couldn’t help swiftly grabbing him and shoving his face into my musky pits, laughing as he squirmed for a moment before letting him go. I apologised after through my laughter though I couldn’t help but smirk subtly as despite his face looking disgusted, the slight bulge in his pants told another story.

The next day however was when the real challenge started. After breakfast Sam gave me a list of what exercises to do at the gym. I’ll be honest I didn’t know half of them and had to look them up on the way. That walk to the gym however was the first time I noticed the difference in my interactions. Before people wouldn’t pay much mind to me but now as I passed people on the street I’d get some smiling and glancing at me, some giving me an envious once over, others even saying hi to me in a bit of a flirty way. Mostly from girls which even though I was gay I still enjoyed the flattery. Once I was at the gym though, I was in the zone. It’s weird but it was like muscle memory took over. I performed each and every exercise perfectly while loving the pump I was getting. Once again I was having to hide my boner at many points since I couldn’t help but get off to how fucking strong I was now. It did and still does feel absolutely incredible!

Later that day I headed to Sam’s usual football practice with a bunch of his jock friends. Initially I was worried I wouldn’t fit in but I somehow found myself easily slotting into the jockbro mindset and was soon laughing and joking with the boys. It was the same when we started playing, right away it was like my body just moved on its own, knowing exactly what to do and how to play. It was then that I realised I must’ve somehow absorbed a lot of Sam’s skill, know-how and personality when I took his form and I was gradually unlocking it all by putting myself in these situations. Although I don’t think I was playing as well as Sam usually does, not because of a lack of skill but because I was constantly distracted watching all those jock butt’s and bulges squeezed into those football uniforms. Surely at least one of them had to be gay right?

After getting home I found Sam sat on his laptop looking up all sorts of body swapping theory stuff. Of course most of it was fake but he was clearly desperate to get his body back. Sure there might be an off chance he could find the site I used but that a one way transfer according to the spell. Knowing this I told him to not get his hopes up and to just try and make use of the hands we’ve been dealt. As you can imagine he didn’t take that very well at the time.

From then onwards though, I’d say things were pretty easy. I easily convinced my new dad and former mom, now step-mom that I was their good ol hairy jock of a son. I was able to pull off being a fitness instructor with relative ease after going around the gym and using each piece of the equipment to trigger the memories of how to use it properly. I’d convinced all of Sam’s friends inside and outside of the football team that I was him. I’ll say that it took me awhile to fully get used to hearing my new name but whenever I did it was like music to my ears.

I’ve gotta say though, living with the former Sam was more fun than I thought it’d be. I figured it would’ve been weird initially after the switch and that we’d have to go our separate ways but even after just over a week of being Sam I was having so much fun messing with him. For example I almost never wore a shirt around the house, always showing of my huge hairy pecs and whenever I’d catching him staring I’d give a little pec bounce until he looked away in annoyance. I’d frequently pull him in for ‘brohugs’ where I’d either squish him against my chest or trap him under one of my pits until I saw him getting a semi. He’d alway deny having one though which is why I decided to set up a fun little experiment.

Turns out that Ian, one of the other jocks on the football team, was in-fact gay. Wasn’t hard to decipher after noticing his frequent glances at my ass in locker room, not that I can blame him, and how much he blushed when I gave his jock butt a slap after practice. Next thing you know we’re making out under the locker room showers while groping up each overs bodies. It was insane since before I would’ve considered Ian to be light years out of my league but now I had him on his knees with his lips wrapped around my shaft to which I then soon returned the favour. It was here that I got my experiment idea.

Yesterday after practice, I pulled Ian aside and asked him to come back to my place. He was quick to agree and before you know it we were stumbling into mine and Sam’s shared apartment. My former body jumped up off the couch and asked what Ian was doing here. ‘To have some fun’ I believe my response was being making out with Ian in front of him and dragging the other jock back towards Sam’s-well my bedroom. As Ian and I stumbled onto the bed, kissing along each overs bodies as we slowly undressed, I made sure to leave the door open just a crack.

One thing lead to another and before long Ian had his face buried into a pillow as I buried my cock in his ass and I made no attempt to be subtle about, groaning and grunting and my balls smacked against that supple butt. Throughout our amazing fuck session I made sure to keep glancing back at the door and finally I caught exactly what I was waiting for. I saw none other than Sam peeking through the crack in the door and lightly tugging at my former dick. That was all the confirmation I needed that my little bro was just as much of a homo as I was no matter how much he wanted to deny it.

———

And that more or less brings us up to the present, waking up early in the morning with Ian fast asleep beside me and being called into the kitchen by my growling stomach. As I searched through the fridge to see what else I could find to satisfy my hunger, I heard a cough coming from behind. Whipping my head around I saw none other than Sam with a judgmental look on his face.

“Don’t gimme that look, you’ve seen all this before.” I say, shaking my hairy ass a little before flexing. Sam rolled his eyes. “No no no don’t act like you don’t love seeing me show off your body, I saw you peeking in on me and Ian last night.”

Sam’s face went bright red. “W-w-what? N-no I didn’t!”

Immediately I shushed him, not wanting to wake Ian before stepping closer. “Oh come on don’t lie, I know you jacked off to it. So what was your favourite bit? The part when you got to see me using your body to pound into another buff dude and fill his ass with your cum? Or the part where you watched Ian totally dominate me afterwards and go to town on your former hairy bubble ass?” By this point Sam was completely speechless knowing that he’d been caught.

With that I lifted up an arm, exposing one of my pits to him but this time I didn’t shove him in it. “Go on, you know you want to. You can try and hide it all you want but you love seeing me show off your body, you love watching me adopt all your little habits, you love watching me slip perfectly into you jocky lifestyle. Just embrace it lil’ bro” He stares at me then at my pit. I could see it in his eyes. Pure lust. And then just as I’d hoped, he gave in to it. I couldn’t help but grin ear to ear as he voluntarily presses his nose into my pit, huffing my musk like a drug. I was even more surprised when he pulled away and immediately dropped to his knees, drooling at the sight of his former cock.

“C…can I suck it?” He asked while grasping it gently in his hand.

“Only if you agree to only address me as Sam from now on, even when we’re alone.” I state looking down at his hungry eyes. He nods in compliance and with that I put a hand on the back of his head and press him down onto my dick, letting him slobber all over it. “But don’t get too used to this. I’m planning on making Ian my boyfriend in the future and I wanna be faithful ya know. So enjoy it while it lasts.”

With that everything has finally fallen into place. The old Sam has finally accepted our new roles, I’ve assumed my new identity perfectly and I might even have a hot new boyfriend soon. My life couldn’t be anymore perfect right now…

#male body theft #male body swap #stepbro #step brothers #brothers #identity theft #male transformation #age progression #straight to gay #musclegrowth #muscle theft #male muscle growth #hairy #jock #magic #permanent

[sexiestpodcastcharacter]

Sexiest Podcast Character — Unscripted Bracket — Round 5

Propaganda

Glenn Close (Dungeons & Daddies):

#Propaganda for Glenn Close: one of the other PCs mentions multiple times how hot he is #Actually several characters point it out but especially Henry #Also the only person in a podcast that has to put a disclaimer about not being a BDSM podcast to have had sex during the course of the show

Young hot rocker dilf

Loyal to his dead wife <3

Does in fact smoke weed

BARD!! HES A BARD. HE WAS LEAD GUITAR IN HIS BAND (that he was kicked out of)

His band was a Christmas cover band btw.

Literally the fandom had hot Glenn summer which consisted of drawing him being incredibly hot and sexy

Anti government (ofc)

Kind of cringefail (Disney adult) (was on dilfs of disneyland)

Young and sexy not your style? Then how about HIM AFTER YEARS LOCKED IN A TIME PRISON WITH A DAMN HANNIBAL MASK ??

Lost an eye and wears a fucking eyepatch

One incredibly buff arm

Has a pet rat named after his son <3

Immeasurable amounts of trauma in this man- becomes progressively more unhinged

OH OLD HUMAN BARD ISNT CUTTING IT? FINE

HE BECOMES A FUCKING DEMON

A COOL HOT ONE-EYED DEMON WHO WANTS TO KILL HIS DAD (also sexy)

HE CANONICALLY ENDS CHRISTIAN HELL VIA CHRISTMAS

IS ALSO WAY OVERLEVELED

Becomes a demon hunter for the rest of his existence

Also nonwhite !!! We are done with cringefail whiteboys !!!!!!!!!

I can’t put into words ok just know he is the best plz love him.

Okay but Glenn made a minivan cum by talking to her so

HE HAS A BOOK THAT HE MARKS X’S AND CHECKS FOR EVERY DAY TO SEE IF THAT DAY WAS A SUCCESS OR NOT. TO SEE IF HE DID GOOD THAT DAY. ITS ALMOST ENTIRELY X’S. HE WAS CUCKED OUT OF A SON. AND A DEAD WIFE. HE DIDN’T EVEN GET TO KILL HIS DAD IN REVENGE. There’s absolutely nothing going for him except his sex appeal in his life. Nobody he loved remembers him. He lost his eye. All he has is a pet rat and friends who admit they don’t really like him that much. He was kicked out of his own band. The band was named after him. He was kicked out of the Glenn Close trio. All he could do was deez nuts the big bad and be sexy. If nothing else, then pity him. Look in his eyes. Look at his heart and soul. He did not do the BDSM episode for this I’ll tell you what. Do this for my his sake. Do it for Nick Jr, who needs the prize money to pay for his rat snacks. Do it for his son. For Morgan. Ganbatte.

Glenn is the goofiest sexiest character there is and I will die on this hill! I will ride into battle for him! what Dndads created is truly unique and Glenn is a key part of that and for that he deserves to win. I said it before and I'll say it again - GLENN SWEEEEEP

Can we talk about how he says ‘baby’ casually? Like he just calls people that?? That’s HOT. THAT IS HOT!! He’s also bilingual and knows Japanese!!!! He’s a big dumb idiot with a lot of charisma!!!!!! HE WORKED AT A BDSM PLACE FOR TWO SEPARATE ONE SHOTS. HES SO SAD BUT PLAYS IT OFF LIKE HE’S CHILL ALL THE TIME!! HE DOESN’T THINK OF HIMSELF AS SINGLE BECAUSE HE DIDN’T DIVORCE HIS DEAD WIFE!!! He’s like.. the perfect guy. We need this win.

I’d also like to add the fact I made this. Which is the first 11 episodes edited to (almost) only have Glenn in them <3 which is a level of insanity I hope to reiterate. These took hours to make. I wouldn’t do that for anyone else.

Mod Note: While I will still take "bad dads are sexy" propaganda and "bad dads aren't sexy" anti-propaganda, I kindly request no more discussion on whether or not he was a bad father. This is a sexypoll, not a parentingpoll. If you see a post you strongly disagree with, you can just not reblog it.

Mod Note 2: This tournament is about fictional podcast characters. Please do not vote for the real actress Glenn Close.

Amber Gris (The Adventure Zone: Ethersea):

Middle aged woman who punches sharks to death. My hero

If you love me you'll vote for amber gris I swear to everything holy on earth amen

Amber is butch, instant win

Amber Gris has a negative charisma modifier and she pissed her pants on purpose in order to trick a guard and knock him out. She tied up a dude. She once killed an evil magic shark (they're out for murder. not like real sharks) by punching it and then picked it up and smashed it into another shark, also killing it. She talks in a southern accent. She calls people guppy because it indicates a lack of respect. She has a big pair of magical green arms that come from her stomach. She got a fancy jacket and immediately ripped its sleeves off. She has a gay thing going on with one of the political leaders in the city. She gets in fights with people and doesnt do vulnerability and tries to lay low and not get in any social trouble she doesn't have to. She jumped through a portal into a new world because she could. She's now the god of said world, alone with only afformentioned political leader, who was previously possessed and she had to fight. She spends her time in a bar called the Cloaca. She calls people she doesn't like claspers, because it means shark penis. She and her friend, an old man named Uncle Joshy, sneak attack each other and yell VIBE CHECK! She tries to talk fancy to impress people and she's really bad at it (verily).

She’s everything and more. She’s irreverent. She punches sharks for a living. She becomes God. What more do you need in a butch.

amber gris propaganda: she is straightup the physical embodiment of "women want me, fish fear me." also she's an appalachian post apocalyptic sea captain. that's just objectively cool.

AMBER GRIS IS PUNCHES SHARKS AND IS (one of) THE MOST BADASS BLACK WOMEN PCS IN DND SHOWS IVE EVER SEEN. SHES INCREDIBLE AND A WIN FOR DYKES EVERYWHERE

amber's creator said she was based off of the type of working-class woman you commonly see in appalachia where "this is the sort of woman that you see walking past CVS, and you know that a truck could hit her and it would just split around her as she continued to go pick up whatever she had to do that day." and that's pretty hot

guys Amber becomes lesbian god of the new world with her childhood “”friend””

#amber gris is LITERALLY a middle-aged butch #she would win this entire tournament in a just world

Last time Amber got horny was when she killed that shark

"it was a savage bummer though, don't-- trust me, there's nothing that great about a history. You know? I got one. What did I do, killed a bunch of sharks? Last time I got horny, god and christ I can't even tell you-- well, it was when I killed that shark. But! Hey. We're all just kinda figuring it out."

Moonshine Cybin (Not Another D&D Podcast: Bahumia):

She's a hot elf with mushrooms growing on her. She has 1 level of barbarian. She's bisexual. She shapeshifted into a dragon and ate a god.

how tf does the post not mention Moonshine’s giant boobs her greatest asset

Moonshine has canonically gone down on a woman for a solid hour without asking for anything in return. Moonshine edged a dryad just by kissing them. Moonshine faced down someone being controlled to kill everyone in his path and told him if he still wanted to hurt her, she would take his blows as a friend. Moonshine makes jambalaya for her family and friends. Moonshine mispronounced someone’s name for a month and that woman still wanted to hook up with Moonshine. These are just a few of the reasons why Moonshine is sexy.

shes illiterate

canonically huffs dirty water from a bong

has big tatas

wears a belly chain with a demon trapped in it

almost became the queen of hell

ate a god

turned into a pregnant moose & gave birth

The woman she went down on for an hour asking nothing in return is still hung up on her, 200 years later. Moonshine is unmatched

To be clear the woman whose name Moonshine mispronounced for a month and then hooked up with is the same woman she went down on for an hour, and the same woman who is still flustered over her 200 years later. The rizz is unparalleled. She’s also incredibly kind and accepting of others, and goes out of her way to bolster her friends. The party always requests one big bed.

moonshine cybin is a druid who learned counterspell through sheer force of will. moonshine cybin turned one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse into a dolphin, flew him 60 feet up into the air, dropped him on the ground, and then spit spores into his face to kill him. moonshine cybin turned into a dragon and bit the head off of a double god. moonshine cybin was willing to confine herself to an eternal hell to save the world. moonshine cybin is a dragon rider. you know what you must do.

Amber and Moonshine Together

Look at them. They should not have to fight when they could be gay instead. Imagine the power they would have combined... Every lesbian in a hundred mile radius of the post would swoon. It may be an odd alliance, but from an Ethersea fan to Bahumia fans, i believe this will strengthen both our odds. I have always been insane about Amber Gris but through this poll I have also learned about Moonshine and come to love her too. Take my hand... We can do this together...

OKAY HEAR ME OUT MOONSHINE AND AMBER WOULD GET ALONG SO WELL

appalachian sapphic solidarity!

Art of Amber and Moonshine from @pirateknight.

#Round 5 #Glenn Close #Glenn Close DnDads #Moonshine Cybin #Amber Gris #Not Another D&D Podcast #Bahumia #The Adventure Zone #TAZ Ethersea #Dungeons & Daddies #Dungeons and Daddies

[skylarsblue]

✦Incorrect C.o.D Quotes, Again✦

Guess who's back...back again-

Ghost @ DILF!Y/N: Stop making me have gay thoughts, General. I look at men and I feel weird. I feel strange. It makes me wanna do things. I don’t like that.

(This also works with Soap, of course)

-- (Based on that one Avatar moment that set the fucking bar for me. Also, bonus random name of an NPC) Ghost: Oliver is the best sniper. DILF!Y/N, real softly over Ghost’s shoulder: …well I don’t want Oliver. Ghost, a man with daddy issues: Ghost, internally: HOLD IT THE FUCK TOGETHER SOLDIER, WE’LL GET THROUGH THIS

-- Y/N: I was gonna say that if in ten years time, the two of us aren’t married, let’s agree… Gaz: Yeah? Y/N: To hunt each other for sport. Gaz: T-To hunt each other for sport?- Y/N: Yeah! D-did you just agree?! Gaz: I thought you were gonna say like, y’a know, let’s get married! Let’s- Y/N: Oh! Oh. Gaz: I’ll be your Gilligan! Y/N: I didn’t mean- the signals-

-- Gaz: Sorry! I thought I saw a wasp. Y/N: Do you love me too? Gaz, breaking his neck: Excuse me?

-- (NSFW warning) Y/N: Like- no I know it’s bad but bro I- he makes me such a whore. Soap: Okay like, on a scale of one to ten- Y/N: I’d let him cum on my glasses Soap: ON YOUR GLASSES?! Oh it’s serious. Y/N: I KNOW

-- 141: *looking at knocked out Graves* Y/N: I’m gonna check his pockets. Alejandro: For weapons? Y/N: No, to see where he keeps the fucking audacity. Soap: *wheeze* No no, bad timing, don’t be funny this is serious.

-- Y/N: You wanna go toe-to-toe with me, pretty boy? Alejandro: Go for it.~ I’ll give you the first shot. Y/N: Better make it count, casanova. Alejandro: I never half-ass anything, mi girasol. Ghost: Oi, keep your pants on and focus, would ya?

-- Soap: Missed me missed me now you gotta kiiii…. Simon: Now I gotta what? Soap: Nothin’ forget it- Simon: No no, now I gotta what?

-- Y/N, surrounded by attractive men: Am I…a whore? Y/N: *looks at them* Y/N: I don’t really give a fuck, HEY TEAM-

-- Gaz: Why are you just…laying on the couch? Usually you’re up and doing something. Y/N: Can’t move. Soap: Why?? Y/N: *sits up on their elbows and allows their neck to be seen* Gaz: *gasp* Nooooo… Y/N: Mhm. Soap: Nuh uh. Y/N: König carried me here. >:) Gaz: YOU WHORED! Y/N: I DID!!

-- Someone: Please PLEASE don’t tell anyone. Y/N: I won’t! I won’t, promise. Someone: *sigh* Thank you. … Price: *doing paperwork* Y/N, busting in: CAPTAIN!! Price: BLOODY FU-What in the world?! Y/N: *shuts his door and smoothly sits on his desk* Captain you will not believe what I have heard.

-- Soap: I’m gonna stop listening to drama. I’m gonna focus on my training, be a better person- Gaz: Right, right. Y/N, popping in: Guess who got caught sucking dick in the bathroom. Soap & Gaz: WHO?! Soap: *falls out of chair*

-- Price: Be nice. Y/N: I’m always nice! Price: Really nice, not bitchy nice. Y/N: …you tied my hands but fine.

-- (With a random backstory I have in my brain for König) Y/N: How do you uh, deal with all this trauma? König: I call my mutter. Y/N: That’s beautiful, K- König: Call my mutter a bitch.

-- Gaz: GIRLFRIEND STOP, GET BACK IN THE CAR Soap with zero self preservation instincts: *sprinting with a pipe bomb* YOU GET BACK HERE!

-- Y/N: This entire team is full of babygirls. Gaz: Oh not that fucking meme- Soap: Full of huh? Ghost: Call me that and I will snap your spine. Y/N: Bring it! An honor sir! Price: Jesus Christ-

#the dilf ones are for my own enjoyment #i have a dilf oc and this is how i get it out #call of duty x y/n #call of duty x reader #call of duty #konig call of duty #konig x reader #captain john price #john price x reader #kyle gaz garrick #gaz x reader #john soap mactavish #soap mactavish x reader #ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #alejandro vargas #alejandro vargas x reader #incorrect cod quotes

[leossmoonn]

dilf | mike schmidt

summary - mike as a dad

warnings / includes - reader is fem. otherwise fluff :D (also there’s so much background and plot like sorry not sorry lol I really like to ramble)

————

if there’s another fnaf movie… mike needs to be a dad. i know that’s not the plot at all and wouldn’t make sense, but i think the box office would benefit from that!

mike is already kind of a dad. he’s been raising abby for a few years now. he wouldn’t consider himself any type of caregiver because well, he thinks he’s quite terrible. and the term ‘brother’ is so much less daunting than ‘dad’. so when you two found out you were pregnant, he felt more fear than excitement. it wasn’t a surprise really. you two hadn’t been using condoms as regularly, but he was more stunned that now he was going to be a father and he was terrified.

regardless of how he felt, he supported you in every way possible during pregnancy. he was literally perfect. dude did the bare minimum and more! every day he would ask what you wanted to eat each day, no matter how weird the cravings were, and he would try his best to honor them. he gave you massages, went on walks with you, talked to the baby, went on doctor appointments with you — he even scheduled extra ones when you weren’t feeling well because he was so scared of you or the baby dying or something.

and after the whole freddy’s pizzeria fiasco — glad you weren’t pregnant during that lmao — he was able to get a job as a sales associate and become a manager with the help of him taking some online college courses. (you definitely helped with convincing him he was good enough to go back). abby was making new friends at her school and even helping you out when you were pregnant: making desserts for you, giving you advice on baby clothes, already making plans with the baby to play house or dress up. things were looking up.

until you give birth.

now, as we mentioned, mikey poo was a little nervous when he found out you were pregnant. and things went so well with your pregnancy, he kind of forgot to think about what it was actually going to be like when the baby was here. he was about to shit his pants fr while you were giving birth. but then they put the baby in your arms and everything just came together for him. cliché to say, i know, but it’s real!!!! and god, when he finally got to hold his baby, he was wrapped around her little finger. (i’d like to think he’s a girl dad — we already kind of see that with abby). she has mike’s big brown eyes and your cute nose. she looks exactly like a mix between the two of you.

for the first few months, mike was more focused on you than the baby. don’t get me wrong! he’s great father, but he just had that mindset that everyone wanted to take care of the baby: your parents, vanessa, even abby, but nobody was taking care of you. (doesn’t that just make your ovaries scream??) so he made it his mission to help you out with everything he could, on top of the baby, which he absolutely didn’t mind. lowk, mike is a house wife.

in the night, you two would trade shifts for the baby. there were times where he knew you were so tired from breastfeeding and just taking care of the baby during the day in general — he had to work full time still to be able to provide for you guys — that he would take full night shifts and let you sleep. it was basically like working at freddy’s so….

when you started going back to work, mike would make sure the laundry was done, house was always clean, each meal was made, abby got to one place or another. of course, he spent as much time taking care of the baby as he did with other things, but you were just under so much stress and he felt as though the best thing he could do for you was take most of the mental load. soon you became accustomed with being a mom and soon your workloads were basically evenly split.

okay enough of the background.

mike loves playing with the baby. sooo crazy, right? lol. he loves doing tummy time with her, playing peek-a-boo, talking in funny voices. he also loved picking out outfits for her, even though he actually has no sense of fashion and you quickly banned him from buying anything in the store. i think his favorite thing to do with his baby girl is making her laugh. ugh! baby laughs are so cute in general, and it just made his whole world. unlike everyone in the world, besides you and sometimes abby, no one really liked mike. well, no one gave him a chance and to be fair, he didn’t really let them. it wasn’t until he met you where we felt complete and whole and happy and not afraid of risks. and it wasn’t until the baby where he felt a true sense of purpose and he was happy with how his life turned out.

his absolute favorite sight in the world is seeing you, abby, and the baby play. the house has never been filled with as much joy as it is when y’all are playing. everyone’s giggling, teasing each other, fawning over the baby. its literally like the perfect family he never got to have :,).

he also absolutely adores you as a mom. he thinks you are the best mom ever. and of course he should think that anyways, but he believes it with his whole being. being a first time mom, you were nervous of course. but in the first month, all you did was berate yourself for not being a good mom and not knowing your baby’s needs, but with mike’s reassurance and time, you gained more and more confidence.

when the baby starts going to daycare, mike is actually terrified. he starts to look for jobs he can do at home because he’s so scared that what happened with garrett is going to happen to his baby. but with multiple background checks, questions, lowk spying, he tries to trust the daycare center you two choose.

random note before i stop talking. mike is a sleepy guy and so is the baby. the two often nap together with the baby on top of his stomach. AH. looks so cute. sometimes his hand is on her head or back, or her little fingers are wrapped around his thumb. you have countless of pictures of them in this one situation. i’d like to think mike doesn’t really sleep when the baby is on his stomach because he’s afraid she’s gonna fall or he will roll over, but he stays as calm and quiet as he can so she can rest.

#this is so long #I have so much more to say #mike schmidt x reader #mike schmidt #fnaf #fnaf x reader

[anniesannex]

You’re So Art Deco

Chapter one

Sugar daddy !Johnny Cage x reader

Description: you are a struggling college student who needs some cash. Your friend suggests a sugar daddy but you wouldn’t do that. Right?

A/n: this is literally my first time posting my writing like ever so I’m a little nervous to be doing this.

With a dramatic sigh, you enter the dorm you’ve been working so hard for you’ve barely had to relax in. Between school and work you’ve barely had time to sleep. Luckily you had a day off the next day.

“Bad day?” Grace asked as she brushed her long golden locks. “I don’t know why you don’t just quit that shithole (Y/n).” Of course she wouldn’t.

“Because I need the money Grace.” You sigh as you take your hair down. “Or else I can’t cover what my scholarship doesn’t.”

“You’re literally killing yourself though.”

“Grace.” You Sighed. “I love you but I don’t want to engage in this conversation right now.”

“If you need the money I’m sure my dad ca-”

“I’m not taking money from your dad, Grace. I appreciate that you worry about me but I can’t.” You pull out a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie. Shedding the uniform for your shitty minimum wage job.

“Can you at least tell me what happened today.”

“The usual, rude people treating me like I’m fucking stupid, my manager being a sexist freak, and of course that guy who keeps trying to hit on me came in.”

“I fucking hate that guy.” Grace spat. “You sure you don’t want to come out with us tonight (y/n/n)? It’s not the same without you there.”

“I’m exhausted Gracie, as much as I’d love to I can’t.” You got your laptop to work on your school work.

“Why not get a sugar daddy?” Grace suggested. “It’s definitely help. Plus you can get to bang some hot dilfs.” She winked as you rolled your eyes.

“Girl I’m not getting a sugar daddy.” You sighed. “By the way where’s the Tito’s?”

“I just got a new bottle, it’s in the fridge.”

“Thank you so much.” You grabbed it out of the fridge and opened it. “You’re literally the best person ever. Y’know that?”

“You seem to tell me that a lot. Thank you (y/n).” She smiled. “But take it easy with the Tito’s tonight. I don’t wanna have to put you to bed again.”

“I will.” You paused to take the shot. “Have fun tonight. Tell them I said hi and that I miss them.”

“Will do.” Grace grabbed her bag as she left the dorm. As you continued to work to you thought more and more at the idea of having a sugar daddy. It would definitely take a load off you. After the debating the pros and cons you signed up for a dating app meant to find sugar daddies.

“I really hope I don’t get fucking scammed.” You sassed to yourself as you made your username. Once you had an account you looked through all the possible matches you had. None of them really piqued your interest as you looked through them until-.

“Ooo he’s kinda hot!” You exclaimed as you ready his username and bio.

Johnny, 49

@JohnC95

Sagittarius

6’1

Hobbies: martial arts, long walks on the beach, and looking in the mirror.

Looking for someone to spoil ;).

You had clicked to accept him as a possible match when the words ‘it’s a match!’ Appeared on screen. It was only a matter of seconds until the first message came in.

@JohnC95: ‘well hello there gorgeous. It seems like we’ve matched.’

@y/n:’ it seems like it haha.’

“What the fuck is going on right now?!” You thought out loud.

@johnC95: so what are you doing right now?

@y/n: working on course work and drinking.

@johnC95: she’s educated I see. Also are you old enough to be drinking?

@y/n: I’m old enough. So what are you doing?

@johnC95: sitting through dinner w/ execs. Discussing my next film. Although I’d rather be w/ you, doll ;).

Film? You wonder what he does.

@y/n: that’s sweet of you. What do you do?

@JohnC95: I’m THE Johnny Cage.

Johnny Cage? That’s definitely a scam. You were rolling you eyes as you typed.

@y/n: I don’t believe you. send pics.

@JohnC95: better yet why not FaceTime?

You blushed at his boldness but typed as you got up from your bed.

@y/n: what abt the ‘execs’?

@JohnC95: said I had to take a call. They can wait on me.

@y/n: just let me get into something that isn’t pajamas and I’ll be on the phone.

@JohnC95: will do doll!

You look in your closet for something that was cute. It had been a while since you were in something other than your work uniform or pajamas so you had forgotten what most of your closet looked like. You had been rummaging around until you found a black dress with a red jacket a pair of tights and leg warmers to go over heeled boots. After putting that on you spent a little time on your hair and put on a little makeup before typing.

@y/n: I’m ready ‘Johnny’.

Within a few seconds the laptop had begun ringing. You nervously hit answer, wondering who was going to be at the other end.

“Wow you’re gorgeous.” Johnny spoke as you sigh out of relief for not being scammed. “See I’m really a big ol’ pile of sexy goodness.”

“Thank you Johnny. Sorry about doubting you.” You apologized.

“It’s fine, so what are you drinking?” Johnny asked.

“Tito’s. Just titos.”

“Wow straight vodka, you are bold.” Johnny paused. “What’s your Venmo?”

“My Venmo?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s (y/n)14. Why?” You had questioned.

“Just check it. In two seconds.” Johnny’s face had be taken over by a fuzzy screen as he seemed to be doing something on his phone. As you pulled out your phone to check your Venmo.

From JohnC95

$600.00

“For talking to me on the phone.”

“Johnny, I can’t accept this.” You started “I’ll se-”

“I want you to have it. I like you, (y/n).” Johnny looked sincere. “But I should go. I’ll talk to you very soon Doll.”

“Good night Johnny Cage.” You smiled. As the call ended and you got ready for bed again. You wondered how in the hell managed to find Johnny Cage on a sugar daddy dating app. Wasn’t he like married? You decided to look it up as you got back into bed.

“Christina Ford and Sonya Blade. Both divorced.” You spoke. A new dilemma came across your mind in how the fuck you were gonna tell Grace.

“Oh fuck.” You groaned at the thought. Before you heard a ping from your laptop.

@JohnC95: goodnight Doll, sweetest of dreams :).

You thought of a response back as you put the money into your account. It would help towards paying for college.

@y/n: night, Cage. Enjoy those Hollywood executives.

You flopped your head back down on the pillow as you heard the door to your dorm be opened.

“Holy shit. The night I had.” Grace sighed. “You were right t-”

“I FOUND A SUGAR DADDY AND ITS JOHNNY CAGE!”

#johnny cage #mortal kombat #mk1 2023 #mk11 #dilfjohnnycage #johnny cage x reader #johnny cage smut #MK

[josibunn]

we need to talk about dilf jack !! the way that man aged like fine wine , in his early 40s and has a single streak of grey hair but it blends effortlessly with his dark strands. he hasn’t married yet and has no kids , but is extremely loaded due to him being a ceo of a company he worked hard on from the bottom up. a hard-working man , a man who demands respect.

i just know he’s one of the best brat tamers. so of course being spoiled rotten by mr thurlow , you tend to have a fit of brattiness that he cannot stand. whining over an anklet that had broke while he’s in an extremely important business call was starting to irk him , and he gave you multiple warnings to quit it. that stare he gives to you when your mouth keeps running makes a cold sweat run down your back. but of course wanting to see how far you can go , deciding to whine even more to the point where the person on the other line can hear you. seeing how tense he got from your actions made you so wet.

and now for acting like a brat , you’re getting fucked so good on his desk. incoherent babbling leaving your mouth as his slender yet strong hands wrap around your neck. “ you like acting up , hm ? i spoil you so much princess yet you’re never grateful for anything. “ a small ‘ im sorry ! ‘ leaves your mouth as he angles his hips to hit that same spot to make your toes curl. pushing your legs up to your chest , giving you a good fucking to get rid of your bratty attitude. he wants his good girl back.

- 🎀

thank u sm pinkie I LOVEEEEEE this idea!! I hope u don’t mind i’m joining these two,,I think they mix well :3 (also pinkie I got your other request ab jack just so you know,,i’m not ignoring It I swear! i’m just a perfectionist :P)

I think jack would be so hot older, i’ve genuinely wanted to put something like this out for so long I just didn’t think you guys would side with me!! I love picturing them older like jack would look soo good I hc he’s always in business casual as in older guy methinks :3

tw slapping n choking, degrading, daddy kink, teased orgasm denial n praise!! age gap too. some puppy play and “papa” used,,sorry i’ve been so into it lately :3

I think he’d be around 37-42? does that work?

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 !!

I think ur ask would happen on a day he brings u to his office and lets his baby see what makes her pockets so heavy. you come in some frilly cute outfit, being so young he doesn’t expect you to conform with how he dresses, but he keeps a hard hand on you as he walks you around his company, explaining everything while walking past other workers.

you’re looking around, touching everything and peeking your head into places you shouldn’t, being polite and greeting everyone while he stands behind you, shooting everyone hard looks before you wanna look somewhere else, making little comments like “dyou think I could work here? i’d look so cute in the skirts n i’d wear my best pumps!” “yeah but, it’s not just skirts n heels baby,” he smiles and pats your head as you two walk out the elevator.

it’s all peaches n cream until u start whining about, which he knew would come but still dreaded. suddenly you were tired, your feet hurt and you were hungry. he was trying so hard to be patient with you but you always push it :( he even goes as far as to hold your heels for you but it seemed like you were just pissing him off for fun.

he about had enough when the chain of your anklet got stuck in the carpet and breaks off and you flip out, gasping and whining as you collect the charms off the ground. jacks getting pissy bc you’re so loud, your skirts riding up and you’re making a scene again. “baby-hey, look at me,” he says, making you look up with a pout when that tone comes out.

“people are working right now and you’re making a scene. we can go to tiffs and get you a new one, ok? get the fuck up,” he grits the last part, sending you a hard look that makes you huff, crossing your arms and walking far ahead of him to the elevator. he rolls his eyes and follows far behind you, his brows raising at your audacity to leave the floor without him, a breathy chuckle of an “oh yeah?” coming off his tongue as he crosses his arms and waits for the elevator to come back down.

sure, you were a little loud but he didn’t have to be so mean in front of everyone! though you knew better, so you waited with your arms crossed until he got out the elevator, an angry pout all over you face. he steps out and turns his head, nodding when he saw you waiting for him. “yeah that’s what I fuckin thought. cmere,” he wraps his arm around you roughly, making you yelp and squirm against him to get away but he only held you closer, digging into your side.

“take me home. you’re bein’ so mean, n I don’t wanna be here.” you look away from him as he walks you into his big office room, closing the door and his blinds. “so you don’t wanna go to tiffany’s?” he puts his hands in his hips, making you roll your eyes as you plop onto his couch. “yeah I thought so. and roll those fucking eyes again little girl,” he warns you as he sits under his desk, pointing a finger at you before he rolls his sleeves and gets on his computer.

in all honestly, his threats always got you soaking wet, wondering what he’d do when you pushed his limit. “what’re you doing now,” you ask after a few minutes of silence, walking over and looking over his shoulder. “glad you asked, because I have a call coming up with an investor in..three minutes and I really just need you to be good for me, ok?” he looks up at you, rubbing the back of your thighs.

“what kind of meeting?” you ask, running your hands through his hair, messing it up. “kind that makes me a lot of money, which makes you a lot of money. nothin you’d be interested in, promise. just need you to be quiet,” he nods. “are they gonna be able to see you?” “no, it’s a call meeting, he’ll only hear me.” “can I sit with you?” “sure baby, I just need you to be quiet, ok? it’ll be done as soon as it starts.”

and you comply for a little while, but twenty minutes into the call you’re getting antsy, he let you sit on his lap but with the way his leg bouncing has whining and pawing at his chest, giving him big puppy eyes that he just ignores oh you’re growin hornier by the second :(( especially when he’s being so assertive and focused,,not paying you any mind.

..especially when you start grinding on his growing bulge, grabbing onto his bicep, quietly pleading for something, anything. he’s keeping his composure but his hand was gripping the arm rest, he couldn’t believe you were trying to bomb this investment on him because you were what? horny? it was making the vein in his forehead bulge.

he shoots you a few glares as he speaks but you don’t care anymore, like, you’re supposed to be his baby! his everything and you should have all his attention, this was taking far too long. “jackie..” you whine, his brows raising immediately at your audacity to interrupt him at a time like this, cutting his sentence.

“mr. thurlow is..is there someone in the room present with you? I thought this was a private matter.” his investor says from the speaker. “no, it is, i’m sorry my-my girlfriend is with me but she won’t be a problem,” he shoots you look that lets you know he’s not asking you he’s telling you, “continue.” jack says, gripping your hip now.

you scoff and roll your eyes, “how long?” you whisper in his ear, playing with his buttons, getting enough down to stroke his chest. “I dunno pup,” he whispers quietly. “this is business. I can’t make everything go faster if I want it to work out for us in the end.” he tried to speak and simultaneously listen to his business partner.

“but I really can’t do it with you..whining in my fucking ear and talking during my meeting. ok? just..” he puts a finger to his mouth before directing his attention back to the call, adding his opinion on the topic at hand. you pick your jaw up and cross your arms, sighing as you turn your back to him on his lap, leaning on the desk.

he doesn’t pay you any mind as you continue grinding down on his bulge, gripping your hip and guiding you ever so slightly to keep you peaceful as you hold onto his desk, brows furrowed as pleasure overuns you. you look back and teasingly lift your dress to your hips, showcasing the tiny pink thong you had on with a pout. he sighs with a head tilt, watching you move against him, his bulge nudging between your clothed folds.

“daddy..” you whisper again, your lip tucked between your teeth as you speed up, mouth falling open with silent moans, making him shoot you a silent warning. “you’re being so mean to me..” you whisper again, leaning over the desk and showcasing just how tiny your panties were, your lips peaking out of them the more you fuck yourself on him.

“you’re bein a fuckin’ brat.” he grits his teeth, pinching your side, making you jump and yelp. this wasn’t fair :( you’ve been so good all day (in your eyes) and he was just ignoring you in your messy mood. he should be giving it to you hard, you had to speed this up. you reach down and start circling your clit, moaning quietly into his desk and grinding back on him.

you look back at him as you pull your panties to the side, his cheek perched against his fist as he doesn’t dare give you a glance, but you know he’s fed up, his hair going every which way, his fave red with anger and that familiar vein in his forehead bulging. you whine, he’s so sexy. his shirt rolled to his elbows, strong arms squeezing against each other, not to mention his chest on display since you unbuttoned his shirt.

you trail up his body, eyes landing on his pink lips that command big bucks for a share of stocks, it makes you sticky, eyes rolling back as you slide your fingers with a loud moan, your juices already coating yourself and his pants as you pump into yourself, and suddenly everything goes quiet, your eyes peeping back open to see him sat up now, glaring at you with an open mouth, his investor on the other line now gone quiet.

he finger combs his hair out of his face, that gray strand popping back, and before he pleads your his case he’s cut off. “mr. thurlow, jack,” you hear, “it’s clear you have other…personal matters to attend to. you understand my time is valuable and I won’t be kept up by someone who can’t hold down his fort for a simple hour.”

jacks eyes close in frustration, rubbing his teeth together and you swear you see sparks flying between them. “right sir, yes. I understand.” hes glaring at you with each words and you smile, now you’ve got his attention!! :3

“so i’ll have my assistant get back with you for a better time maybe. don’t count on it.” is all is said before the line goes quiet and he hangs up and the room falls silent with tension, jack sighing into his hands. “can we play now daddy..?” you ask, repositioning yourself on his desk, legs spread before him.

he glared at you before grabbing your throat and standing, making you yelp and hold onto his wrist, eyes wide on him. “you happy now? you fuckin’ happy now huh??” hes raising his voice, waving your neck around slightly as he speaks. “I had him, had him in the fucking bag baby and you couldn’t keep quiet for an hour? are you serious??” he raises his brows, a little grin on his face.

you hated when he did that, smiled when he was angry. so fuckin scary. “daddy I-i’m sorry I just missed you..-” “daddy i’m sorry-” he mocks you in a high voice before sending a slap across your face, making you yelp and squeeze your eyes shut, gripping onto his shirt. “bullshit. you been a brat all damn day, givin’ me attitude, yellin’ n whinin after I told you how important it was, for what? some dick??” he keeps you in his hold, your eyes teary and frightful, staring at him big.

“now you wanna be quiet, alright,” he nods, poking his cheek with his tongue as he gets his pants undone, not even bothering to tell you to take your panties off before yanking them off you, scooting you further on his desk and prying your legs open. “imma give you what you want lil girl, don’t fuckin worry,” his tone is low and condescending as he taps his tip against your clit, sliding it down and gathering your wetness, your breath hitching.

a loud cry of a “fuck!” erupts from you when he slides his length into you, your hand grabbing at his shirt and trying to push him off as he wastes no time but he’s not budging, a low mmmmmm coming from his as he lays you on your back, hand planted on your chest to keep you down, his muscle overpowering you.

he listens to your whimpers and mewls of his name, eyes low and cheeks hot as he takes in your wet cunt, already fucking into you, leaving you no room to adjust. “fuck jack, h-hollon,” your mouth hangs open, eyes shut before you moan out high, feeling him gradually fuck you harder and harder.

“hold on? hold on?” he repeats, brows raised as he grabs at your hips, forcing you to stay put on the desk, sliding his cock in you deeper, a gasp coming from you as you arch your back up. “did you hold on when I told you how fuckin important this was for me? for us??” he almost winds himself, the feel of your walls sucking him in so greedy making him choke over his words, eyes almost rolling back. even angry, his body reacts against him when it comes to you.

“so you’re gonna take it, kay? look at me mama, open those fuckin eyes,” he grabs your cheeks, shaking your head and making your eyes snap open at him, not holding back your moans as he nods slow, making sure you keep eye contact with him. “you’re gonna take it, since you wanted it so damn bad. can’t believe you baby, so disappointed in you.” he faux pouts and tilts his head at you, making you whine.

“daddy don’t-don’t do that I didn’t mean to,” you mewl, holding his hand that held his face, but he pushes you away and holds you down by the shoulder. “nuh uh, don’t pull that shit. you’re being a bad girl, and I know I taught my girl better, yeah?” your lip quivers as you nod. “m’sorry daddy,,”

“I know pup. just gonna teach you again,” he hoists your ankles over his shoulders, hands gripping your thighs tight against his chest before he’s plummeting his cock into you deeper and deeper, your eyes popping open and rolling out with a loud throaty moan, you feel him beat that spongey spot in you, drool pooling in your mouth.

he sees it, all the thoughts popping out of your brain onto the floor as he watches you with a steady face, condescending eyes hard on you and lips parted slightly, brows frowned. you’re his baby, his pup he couldn’t stand punishing you but he knew you just needed it good and a little discipline.

you moan high and loud again when he bends you further, legs pushing closer to yourself as you grab his shoulders, anything to ground yourself from his thick cock that doesn’t let up a brutal pace against you, long hard strokes, his tip reaching new highs inside of you and you feel like you’re seeing stars. “yeah baby? this what you wanted?” he rasps, a nod and a short “yeah” coming from you as you squeeze your eyes shut. “"jaaack —mmph- daddy it's so — just-please it's so-"

his lips upturn into a small smirk, his poor baby couldn’t even think straight. “yeah, pup? what else?” he says airily, looking between you two and seeing the strings of your slick sticking to his pubes, you’re fuckin soaking, he thinks. “cmon babygirl, tell me what it is.” he encourages, speaking to you in that voice that has you whining out, your brows furrowing together.

“daddy s’good, ur so good!!” you moan out, nails digging into his shoulder blades as he nods along. “yeah? this dick doin you good baby? s’what you needed?” he bits his lip over a smirk, watching you come undone under him, eyes rolling back into your lil head, moans growing squeaky when he wraps a hand around your throat.

you nod quickly, a soft hand going to his chest and bouncing to his wrist, holding him softly. he feels it when you clench onto him for dear life, signaling your dam about to break. “you feelin real good puppy? gonna cum?” he coos, shaking your throat in his grasp to make you look at him, your feet scrunching as you try to prepare yourself for the troubling orgasm you knew he was about to give you.

he forces you back onto the desk, squeezing your throat as he plummets his dick deep inside you as he does so gracefully, other hand keeping your thighs close to him. you let out a loud squeaky moan at the suddenness, head popping back, “jack wait, fuck—wait! ohmygod,” you moan out, at this point he doesn’t care about his firm hearing you, he wants you to feel embarrassed when you walk out passed everyone.

“who? yeah i... dont know who that is.” he tilts his head with faux confusion, brows frowned but his smug smile still remaining. “this what you wanted, right? were’ just begging for it, right?” he says, chuckling to himself, knowing he was bending you out of shape completely.

you couldn’t take the orgasm he was about to give you, you never could, and he knew that. your ears start ringing and your eyes go blurry at the rhythmic motions of his cock kissing deep inside you, pounding that sweet spot.

“daddy— p-papa I can’t do it! s’so much,” you correct yourself with a pout and he plants a reassuring kiss to your handle, his thumb smoothing over your clit to soothe you, only sending you over the edge more. “you got it puppy, cmon I know you can do it. yeah? yeah girl?” he watches your face contort more, toes curling on the side of him as he grins down at you, your display igniting something in him as he keeps up his steady pace.

he winces when throbs inside of you, feeling his release come up on him too. “gonna be my good girl now, huh? who’s gonna act out at my fucking firm?” he slaps your thigh lightly, knowing you were just too out of it and needed a little push. “gonna be so good papa,” you squeal. “never gonna act out again!”

he nods along to your words assuringly, “damn straight, aaaatta girl, cum for me pup. no—cmon you can do it,” he coos to your whining as your breath quickens and the knot in your stomach breaks, whining and moaning out as you cum down on his cock, the familiar white ring forming around the base, making him smile as if he wasn’t already red in the face.

“that’s my fuckin girl, needed that real bad huh.” hes watching his dick disappear into your creamy cunt with dreamy eyes, “I know babygirl I know, daddys not mad at you ok? just had to teach you real good,” his eyes roll back as his head tips back, and you realize you’re gonna have to start wearing turtle necks, he was definitely leaning red marks on you :(

you’re so out of it you don’t even register him cumming in you with a loud curse, to gone to care, knowing he’d fetch you some birth control on the way out. he carries you to the couch in his office before heading to the bathroom in his office, cleaning you and himself up.

you’re laid on your side when he sits next to you, caressing your head and kissing you softly. “feelin good baby?” he asks, taking note of your big foggy eyes and stupid smile. “mhm,” you nod, “good, ready to go to tiffs? get you a new anklet?” he nods, smiling when you nod and raise up happily, his little baby. “that’s my girl, cmon,” he helps you up and into his hand, telling his secretary to clear his afternoon as you walk out behind him, only limping slightly.

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 !!

this got really long, i’m sorry!! I hope you like it and are ready for more longer fics :3

join my taglist! @angelsanarchy @sugarinte @monkeyfart @444rockstargf @bambi-horror @auggiethecreator @wonkinoo @brithedemonspawn @yungbloodsuxca @weezinrnween @bluerthanvelvet444 @nom-nommmm1 @xelam444 @iiheartsai @smuttyslutty666

#josibunn 🎀anon #rory culkin #rory culkin smut #jack thurlow prompt #jack thurlow x reader #jack thurlow smut #jack thurlow #dilf jack :3

[noxturnalpascal]

Birthday Surprise

dbf!Joel x f!Reader

(1153 words)

Summary: Your birthday celebration with your hot DILF neighbor/dad’s best friend takes a bit of a strange turn.

(Happy Birthday @chloeangelic ily)

A/N & Warnings:  SMUT ahead. MDNI. This is dbf, so all the shit that goes with that whole thing. This is unhinged....... I apologize for nothing.

The first thing you notice is the warm glow of the fireplace. You don’t remember who started the logs burning but the flames cast an orange glow on the room, filling it with a familiar smell and the sound of crackling wood. You can hear your mother humming in the kitchen, working to finish the celebratory meal. 

Suddenly, your dad, uncle, and your neighbor Tommy all jump off the couch, cheering the Cowboy’s tenth touchdown of the game, high-fiving each other. Your dad and your uncle chest-bump each other like teenagers. Tommy stretches his hand over to high-five his brother, Joel.

Joel, who lives in the house next door. Joel, who is one of your dad’s closest friends. Joel, whose lap you’re currently sitting on. Joel, whose cock you’re currently warming.

Your dad makes a comment about the other team’s weak defense and it’s met by grunts of approval from everyone, and laughter at the other team’s coach. He looks around and points finger guns at everyone, asking if anyone wants another beer. Joel removes his left hand from under your shirt and waves it in your dad’s direction.

“I’d love another one, thanks Jim.”

“I gotcha Joel, don’t get up!” your dad giggles as he leaves the room.

Joel puts his hand back under your shirt, calluses gently scratching your soft skin, his warm palm back at home cupping your breast. You aren’t wearing a bra of course, Joel had told you not to. He also bought you a little pink sundress and told you to wear it with no underwear beneath it. Of course you obeyed. You’d been obeying him for months and he never steered you wrong. 

You hiss as he pinches your nipple, causing your cunt to clench around his thick member. He groans loudly in response, moving his hand to repeat the motion on your other nipple in an attempt to elicit the same response. It works. He is still moaning when your dad comes back in the room, hands full of beers. 

Your dad hands a fresh beer to each man and brings the last one to the chair you and Joel are sharing. He grabs Joel’s empty bottle out of the cupholder on the armrest and replaces it with the new, cold beer, so Joel doesn’t have to move his right hand from its current position under the front of your skirt.

“Thanks Jim,” Joel smiles up at your dad appreciatively.

“Anytime, buddy,” your dad smiles back, clapping Joel on the shoulder.

The game starts back up and you grab the beer, gently placing it against Joel’s lips and letting him take several pulls from the bottle. He rewards you by gently tapping his hand against your clit. It’s not meant to be pleasurable but you enjoy it all the same, knowing Joel will reward you later for behaving. You try not to whine as you constrict around him, your pussy stuffed full of him and yet still famished, your wetness running down his length and pooling at his base.

You hear your mom call everyone to dinner and you expect to hear the men protest but you look at the TV and notice the game is over and the Cowboys have won 79-3. Tommy comes and stands in front of the chair, putting his hands under your arms and lifting you off Joel’s lap like you’d lift a toddler. The squelching wet sound can barely be heard above all the shuffling feet making their way into the dining room.

Joel hastily tucks his cock back into his pants and follows as Tommy carries you on his hip like a child. When you get into the dining room you see everyone is already sat down and gathered around the table. Your mom and dad, little sister and big brother, uncle and three aunts, seven cousins, and even Chloe - the yellow Lab you had when you were nine is there - sitting at the head of the table.

The table is spread with all of your favorite foods, a glazed ham, roast turkey, stuffing, macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, Red Lobster cheddar bay biscuits, pad thai, baja-style fish tacos, chik-fil-A nuggets, and a tiered cake. You think your mom has probably been cooking for days to create this meal. 

Tommy sits you down in a high chair at the other end of the long table, opposite Chloe. You feel warm hands wrap around your body and tuck a napkin in the front of your shirt and you realize the high chair wasn’t a chair, it was just Joel’s lap again. Tommy pushes the ornately decorated cake closer to you and lights the candles atop it.

Everyone starts to sing happy birthday to you, even Chloe. Joel wraps his arms around you and whispers “Happy Birthday Babygirl” in your ear. You feel his stubble scratch against your cheek and you simultaneously feel his trimmed pubic hair against your other cheek, realizing he’s got his massive fat cock crammed back inside you.

Your mother is crying happy tears and your cousins are cheering and throwing confetti while Chloe - with her beautiful blonde hair - continues the birthday song with a verse of “how old are you now?” You lean forward to blow out the birthday candles and the movement causes Joel to orgasm inside you. He grips you even tighter, holding you down, as the force of his ejaculation threatens to propel you off his lap.

You feel his hot spend coating your walls, filling you up, overflowing out of you. You can hear it dripping off his lap and hitting the floor. Then Tommy leans in close and slaps you in the face. Hard. Then another slap, this time even harder. 

You hear your mother louder now, wailing above Chloe’s song. The confetti is piling up on the table, coating all the food. The candles drip wax onto the birthday cake, which you know must be Devil’s Food Cake, your favorite. Joel’s come puddle is coating the floor, rising and getting everyone’s shoes wet. Tommy slaps you one more time.

You blink and refocus your eyes, staring at the face of a woman named Brenda. You think her name is Brenda, because that’s what her name badge says. You move your arm to fix your bangs, which Brenda messed up when she slapped you, but your hands are bound. Joel’s arms must be around you too tight. Oh wait, you’re wearing a straightjacket.

“Stop screaming you little weirdo,” Brenda hisses in your ear, “or I’ll dose you up so much you’ll be drooling in that pillow the rest of the day.”

She shoves your head away, catching you off balance and sending you clattering to the floor. The small TV mounted to the wall high above you plays another Looney Toons cartoon as you fade back into your dream-like state. You were about to eat your birthday cake!

🎂

😈

🎈

#joel miller x reader #dbf!joel #chloeangelic #happy birthday #chloe's favorite trope

[newtonsheffield]

Molly, I loved little princess bean Katie and Lady Mary with Dilf daddy King Sharma 😍 we need more. How did they meet? Did Katie catch Mary sleeping in Dilf King Sharma bed? I need to know!! please 🙏

Oh they’re super sweet.

Once upon a time, Mary was only Lady Mary Sheffield, the Earl of Sheffield’s daughter and Tharman was only His Royal Highness, Tharman, Crown Prince. And He had a very sweet daughter.

“Now, I’ve arranged for you to sit next to the Prince at dinner.”

Mary stared at her mother as they sat in the back of the car weaving through traffic. “How, and more importantly; Why?”

Her mother waved her hand. “I made a donation to this… whatever this charity is.”

“A children’s hospital? You know, sick children.”

“Don’t be so…snippy tonight.” Her mother sighed, “Mary, please. Please don’t be sarcastic tonight.”

“So… don’t be myself?” Mary asked, eyebrows raised. “I’m to sit next to the Crown Prince for some… ungodly reason and… become mute.”

“Oh don’t be dense.” Her mother scoffed, “He’s had long enough. It’s high time he married again and you, if you would put in just a modicum of effort; would be perfect.”

“He’s had long enough?!” Mary squawked, a little horrified, “Mama, his wife died from complications after childbirth. I think he’s allowed to grieve.”

“Oh, is that what you’re worried about?!” Her mother rolled her eyes, “Darling, you could ship the girl off to boarding school by the time you’re actually married. And I’m sure they have people who would take care of her in the meantime.”

Mary knew that all too well. She’d spent an entire childhood of her own with no one but a nanny for company, her parents sometimes not even in the same country. So lonely.

Mary gaped at her mother, “What are you-?! I can’t believe you.”

“You’re quite pretty when you smile. Just flirt with him a little, one thing can lead to another. A little pregnancy scare in a few months and-“

“I’m not sitting beside him!” The car pulled up to the venue and Mary slipped out as soon as she could, desperate to slip away but her mother caught her by the arm, her nails digging in.

“You are going to. You can’t not. How would that look?”

Her mother was right. She could hardly refuse to sit beside the prince without it looking like a slight but all she felt in the pit of her stomach was dread. Dread that increased with every step she took.

She could feel her mother’s eyes boring in to her from three tables away as they waited for the prince to arrive, Mary already in her seat. He’d become a bit of a recluse truly, in the four years since his wife had passed away. Appearing at events and leaving as soon as would have been appropriate. She’d seen him quite a few times at a distance, though they’d never been introduced and as she stood, waiting for him to make his way across the room.

He was handsome, up close. She realised as he inclined his head to everyone at the table and his eyes fell on her. His jaw sharp and his eyes kind, his thick, dark hair curling over his brow. So handsome that she fumbled a little as she curtsied and she could nearly hear her mother cursing across the room.

“Please, please. Everyone sit.” He smiled, “I’m sorry I’m so late. A little Princess was telling me all the reasons why I should take her to the toy store tomorrow.”

Everyone let out a polite chuckle as they settled into their seats and mary did the same, feeling a little wooden. Avoiding her mother’s piercing gaze. She could hardly focus on anything as the dinner started, staring at her glass of water as conversation started around her.

“Is everything alright?”

His voice was warm, close to her ear and it startled her, the gentleness in it. She let her eyes slide to his and a lump appeared in her throat at the gentle concern colouring his face.

“Of course, your highness.”

His eyes slid to her name card, “I’m sorry I’m not better company, Lady Mary. I’d be very happy to trade places.”

Mary breathed a sighed imaging her mother’s furious face. “Lord, please don’t do that.”

“I’m very happy for you to choose the topic of conversation then. I’ll admit I’m a poor conversationalist these days. I spend most of my time with a four year old. Well, she will be soon.”

There was something so sweet in that. In the way his eyes lit up as he spoke about his daughter and his smile grew brighter. And it made her brave.

She cleared her throat, smiling as she took a sip of her wine. “Are we acquainted enough that I could ask you for a favour?”

His eyes widened but he leaned in, smiling bemusedly, “Well we’ve known one another a full minute. I have to imagine we are.”

“No matter what I do tonight, can you pretend to be very uninterested in me?”

“Do you want me to be uninterested in you?”

“I want my mother to think you are.”

“Ah.” He gave her a tight smile. “I see.”

He cleared his throat, making a great show of leaning away from her. “I’m sorry, Lady Mary, I disagree!”

She bit back a smile, “Maybe a little too dramatic.”

He winked at her quickly before he turned away completely, nudging his elbow until her hand rested on it and it looked for all the world as though she was desperately trying to get his attention.

“Did you try, Mary?” Her mother tutted as they left. “Did you actually try?!”

“I did, Mother.” She said sighing, “I’m not sure what you wanted me to do? Take my dress off and sit in his lap?”

Her mother stood stone faced. “You aren’t anywhere near as amusing as you think.”

“Maybe not, but I am going home.”

“Fine. You’re useless to me anyway.”

Mary sighed as she turned away, trying not to let it sting as she made her way down the steps towards her waiting car. She was almost there when she heard a voice call out.

“Are we safe?”

She started at the sound of his voice and turned to see him waiting for her, grinning a slightly lopsided smile that made her heart skip.

“Ah well, she’s deemed me useless and sent me home.” Mary chuckled, “She continues to think I’m a disappointment so… I’d have to say quite the win tonight.”

His laughter was a bemused, warm little thing and she had the oddest impression that it had made its way into her chest. “I’m always glad to be of assistance, Lady Mary.”

“Very gallant of you, Your Highness.”

He really was very handsome as he smiled at her in the moonlight, dimples on his cheeks. He paused for a moment, “Can I… ask you a question?”

“I think we’re past that point. Surely.”

“Why? Why did you…? Many women might have behaved differently and I just… Why?”

Mary sighed, honesty spilling out of her. “If I give my mother this… it would never be enough. I will never be enough for her. And it doesn’t seem fair for you to be drawn into all that.”

He gave her a sad smile, leaning in closer. “Then I’m afraid to say it but your mother’s an idiot.”

Surprised laughter burst out of her and she loved the way his smile grew at the sound of it.

“Then it’s not because you’re seeing someone else?”

Her heart stuttered. “I’m not but…”

“Lady Mary I wondered if you’d like to have dinner with me. No one would have to know. I only… It’s been a long time since I enjoyed myself at one of these things and I… I’d like to get to know you.”

She stared at him, a little in shock but the answer came without much thought. “I think I’d like that as well.”

It was a nearly two months later, when she woke up warm in his bed, his chest warm behind her before she slipped out of it. Throwing the shirt she’d slipped off his shoulders last night back over her as she padded towards the kitchen.

His sister had taken Kate out the night before, she’d bring her back this afternoon and something ached in her chest, something anxious at what they’d been dancing around. Her meeting his daughter.

He loved his daughter. That much was obvious. From the way he spoke about her and the fact that his study was covered in scrawled pictures in bright green crayon. The greatest gift of his life, he called her, with so much warmth that a lump grew in Mary’s throat now just thinking about it as she opened the fridge. There was another, bigger kitchen, Mary knew, where professional chefs toiled away but this was for the family alone, so they didn’t have to bother the staff over tiny little things. Hunger gnawed at her stomach and she was so engrossed in her own thoughts that she almost didn’t hear it.

“Who are you?!”

“Fuck!” Mary squawked in surprise, letting out a screech as she dropped the jug of orange juice she’d just lifted off the shelf, the glass smashing on the floor at her feet as she whirled around.

A tiny girl was standing in the door way still in her pyjamas, fluffy slippers on her feet. She had Tharman’s thick, curly hair that cascaded down her shoulders, his little twin as she stared adorably up at Mary, tapping her foot.

“My Appa says that’s a naughty word.”

“I’m… I’m so sorry.” Mary gasped as footsteps sounded in the hallway, Tharman rushing in.

He was only in his boxers his hair disheveled from sleep and the way Mary’s hands had run through with her legs over his shoulders and his jaw fell open at the sight in front of him. Mary, naked but for his shirt. His daughter, confused. Juice, all over the floor.

“Kate, Peanut.” Tharman said finally, picking her up and settling her on his hip with an apologetic look at Mary. “Auntie Im was supposed to drop you off later.”

“Granny said she needed her.” Kate chirped still staring at Mary, who could hardly breathe. “Where are her pyjamas?”

Mary wanted to fall through the ground, truth be told, trying to tug the shirt further down her thighs. “I… left them at home.”

Tharman smirked a little looking up at the ceiling before he sighed. “Kate, remember how we spoke about how sometimes Men and women have special friends?”

Kate nodded, resting her chin on her father’s shoulder. “Then they get married sometimes.”

“Sometimes.” Tharman said quickly, “Well, this is Mary and she’s Appa’s special friend. Can you say Hello?”

Kate smiled at her, a cheeky little grin as she reached out her hand for Mary to shake, “I’m Kate.”

Mary’s heart fluttered as she held her hand out to take Kate’s tiny one in hers. “It’s nice to meet you kate. Your Appa’s told me so much about you.”

Kate looked suspicious, “Appa is silly.”

“Appa’s very silly.” Tharman huffed in agreement, kissing his daughter’s temple.

“Are you going to stay with us today?”

Mary looked at Tharman who smiled encouragingly before she nodded, “If that’s okay with you.”

“Mary might be around here a lot from now on, peanut.”

Kate looked between them slowly, her lips pouting. “Mary can you read?”

Mary bit back a laugh, “I can read, yes.”

“Can you do voices? Appa’s bad at them.”

“I can… try.”

Kate patted her father’s head in a sign to let her down and she tugged Mary’s hand forward dragging her out of the kitchen, calling back to her father. “Mary and me are going to get books and toys Appa!”

Tharman kissed Mary’s cheek quickly as she passed sighing as they left “I guess I’ll clean up the juice then.”

And when she sat on the floor with Kate on her lap and Tharman across from her it was shard not to feel as though this was the start of their little family. Even if no one else knew yet.

#head on the pillow au #kate sharma #kate sheffield #mary x Tharman #papa sharma remains a DILF #mary sharma #molly’s asks and answers

[ozarkthedog]

Helloo hii, here to submit a prompt for your 10k Birthday Celebration please:

📝 - 10. "I've seen the way you look at me when you think I don't notice."

with Dilf!Joel Miller, preferably pre-outbreak!Joel, where reader is a friend of Sarah (of age), perhaps college friends, work colleagues etc... Artistic liberties of course welcome. ^^

🩷🩷

gif by the fabulous @nicolethered

Thank you for celebrating! I hope you enjoy this! 💙

warnings: DILF!Joel Miller x Fem!Reader. age gap. reader is Sarah's College friend. dirty talk. sexual tension. cliff hanger cause i'm evil.

word count: 655

✨10K Birthday Celebration✨

“Ugh, I’ll be right back. I forgot a book in my car.” Sarah says, standing from her seat at the kitchen table. 

You’d been studying with Sarah for an upcoming final all week long. It helped that her Dad, Joel,  allowed you to stay the entire week and not have to drive back and forth to your dorm every day.

“Where’s Sarah at?” Joel questions as he saunters down the stairs. You sneak a peek at his soft yet strong belly as he fixes his shirt. You narrowly miss his curious gaze when you flit your eyes back to your text book.

“Uh, she went out to her car.” You answer as you highlight a paragraph. Joel turns on the radio and busies himself around the kitchen.

You sneak another look at the handsome man as he opens the fridge door and searches for something to eat. You knew it was wrong to lust after him. He was so much older and not to mention your friend’s dad but you couldn’t keep your eyes off him.  

He sits down next to you with a plate full of eggs and a smirk. You give him a soft smile in return before returning to your studies. You try to focus on the words but every move the older man makes distracts you.

“I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice.” Joel says, nonchalantly before taking a sip of his coffee.

Your eyes bug and your head whips in his direction. “What?” 

“Come on. Don’t play shy.” He muses and scoots his chair closer to you. He leans his elbows on the table, nudging your books, invading your space. “I can feel you undressing me with those pretty eyes.” 

“I- I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You reply shakily. 

Joel quirks a brow. “Oh no? Then how come you get all quiet when I come around? S’all most like that smart brain of yours goes all dumb whenever I’m in the room.”

He lays a hand on your knee and you jolt under his touch. The highlighter you’re holding falls from your grasp and rolls off the table onto the floor. 

Joel can’t help but smirk. “See? I ain’t doin’ nothin’ and you can’t even hold onto a pen.” He tips your chin up to meet his somber gaze. “What do you need pretty girl?”

Your lips part in a gasp as you drown in his primal energy. You’re caught like prey under the strong paws of a beast.

He looks at you under his lashes and licks his lips. “You want my cock? Is that it?”

You outright whimper. Heat swirls and ignites in your belly as he dips his head to your neck. 

“You’re a big girl,” Joel whispers into the crook of your neck. You shiver in response as he drags his lips along the shell of your ear. “You know what’s right and wrong.” 

It was wrong that you wanted him but it also felt so fucking right.

Joel wraps a large hand around the back of your next keeping you complaint. “I’d love to know how tight you feel wrapped around my cock.”

The front door whips open and disrupts the suffocating moment as Sarah makes her way into the house. 

“Hey, Babygirl. What took you so long?” Joel asks while shoveling eggs into his mouth.

“Ugh, sorry. I got caught talking to the neighbors.” She huffs as she sinks into her seat. “Sorry you had to keep the old man company.” She quips, nodding to the man next to you.

“Oh, that’s ok.” You send her a frazzled smile as your heart thumps steadily against your ribs. You sneak a look to your left, the reason you were in this predicament to begin with, and you’re met with playful, fiery eyes. 

Joel claps your shoulder with a chuckle. “Yeah, we’re gettin’ to know each other quite well.”

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #10k birthday celebration #joel miller

[mrwavellswaps]

if u able to enhance or tf into anybody u want then who is ur favorite body to be turn into. also love your "Go Banana" and "Power And Authority" story

I think the answer to this one should be obvious! Mr Wavell of course! (Or at least the man behind him hahaha) But other than that there’s a guy I’ve been obsessed with lately. Alex Kent. Absolute fucking hunk of a man that I adore in very way shape and form. Huge thick muscled body, handsome face and voice, he’s meathead bodybuilder who can’t stop working out and not to mention he’s got a fat ass. What more could I want in a body! He’s even got a few stray silver hairs in his beard meaning he’s gonna become quite the dilf someday so I’d love to be the one owning that body when it happens.

Also glad to hear you liked the “Go Bananas” and the “Power and Authority” Stories! Both were fun to write in their own regard. Go Bananas was certainly an interesting one with its method of transformation but it was certainly an enjoyable one. Power and Authority was and still is one of my favourites that I’ve written as I said on the post itself. Honestly I just got into such a great rhythm when I was writing it and the result was pretty damn hot if I do say so myself

#asks #male body swap #male body theft #identity theft #jock #hairy #permanent

[sexiestpodcastcharacter]

Sexiest Podcast Character — Unscripted Bracket — Finals

Propaganda

Glenn Close (Dungeons & Daddies):

#Propaganda for Glenn Close: one of the other PCs mentions multiple times how hot he is #Actually several characters point it out but especially Henry #Also the only person in a podcast that has to put a disclaimer about not being a BDSM podcast to have had sex during the course of the show

Young hot rocker dilf

Loyal to his dead wife <3

Does in fact smoke weed

BARD!! HES A BARD. HE WAS LEAD GUITAR IN HIS BAND (that he was kicked out of)

His band was a Christmas cover band btw.

Literally the fandom had hot Glenn summer which consisted of drawing him being incredibly hot and sexy

Anti government (ofc)

Kind of cringefail (Disney adult) (was on dilfs of disneyland)

Young and sexy not your style? Then how about HIM AFTER YEARS LOCKED IN A TIME PRISON WITH A DAMN HANNIBAL MASK ??

Lost an eye and wears a fucking eyepatch

One incredibly buff arm

Has a pet rat named after his son <3

Immeasurable amounts of trauma in this man- becomes progressively more unhinged

OH OLD HUMAN BARD ISNT CUTTING IT? FINE

HE BECOMES A FUCKING DEMON

A COOL HOT ONE-EYED DEMON WHO WANTS TO KILL HIS DAD (also sexy)

HE CANONICALLY ENDS CHRISTIAN HELL VIA CHRISTMAS

IS ALSO WAY OVERLEVELED

Becomes a demon hunter for the rest of his existence

Also nonwhite !!! We are done with cringefail whiteboys !!!!!!!!!

I can’t put into words ok just know he is the best plz love him.

Okay but Glenn made a minivan cum by talking to her so

HE HAS A BOOK THAT HE MARKS X’S AND CHECKS FOR EVERY DAY TO SEE IF THAT DAY WAS A SUCCESS OR NOT. TO SEE IF HE DID GOOD THAT DAY. ITS ALMOST ENTIRELY X’S. HE WAS CUCKED OUT OF A SON. AND A DEAD WIFE. HE DIDN’T EVEN GET TO KILL HIS DAD IN REVENGE. There’s absolutely nothing going for him except his sex appeal in his life. Nobody he loved remembers him. He lost his eye. All he has is a pet rat and friends who admit they don’t really like him that much. He was kicked out of his own band. The band was named after him. He was kicked out of the Glenn Close trio. All he could do was deez nuts the big bad and be sexy. If nothing else, then pity him. Look in his eyes. Look at his heart and soul. He did not do the BDSM episode for this I’ll tell you what. Do this for my his sake. Do it for Nick Jr, who needs the prize money to pay for his rat snacks. Do it for his son. For Morgan. Ganbatte.

Glenn is the goofiest sexiest character there is and I will die on this hill! I will ride into battle for him! what Dndads created is truly unique and Glenn is a key part of that and for that he deserves to win. I said it before and I'll say it again - GLENN SWEEEEEP

Can we talk about how he says ‘baby’ casually? Like he just calls people that?? That’s HOT. THAT IS HOT!! He’s also bilingual and knows Japanese!!!! He’s a big dumb idiot with a lot of charisma!!!!!! HE WORKED AT A BDSM PLACE FOR TWO SEPARATE ONE SHOTS. HES SO SAD BUT PLAYS IT OFF LIKE HE’S CHILL ALL THE TIME!! HE DOESN’T THINK OF HIMSELF AS SINGLE BECAUSE HE DIDN’T DIVORCE HIS DEAD WIFE!!! He’s like.. the perfect guy. We need this win.

I’d also like to add the fact I made this. Which is the first 11 episodes edited to (almost) only have Glenn in them <3 which is a level of insanity I hope to reiterate. These took hours to make. I wouldn’t do that for anyone else.

vote Glenn I am asking with the biggest saddest eyes possible 🥺🥺🥺 he is so sexy it's pathetic and also so pathetic it's sexy, no I can not possibly adequately elaborate just trust me

Mod Note: While I will still take "bad dads are sexy" propaganda and "bad dads aren't sexy" anti-propaganda, I kindly request no more discussion on whether or not he was a bad father. This is a sexypoll, not a parentingpoll. If you see a post you strongly disagree with, you can just not reblog it.

Mod Note 2: This tournament is about fictional podcast characters. Please do not vote for the real actress Glenn Close.

Gable (Campaign: Skyjacks):

7ft tall silver-haired thembo of a fallen angel. was the literal sword of god until they killed him! reasons slightly unclear but probably sure to forbidden queer love! super caring for their friends. has one friend they have known for hundreds of years who they HATE but are bound to by the red string of fate. their sword is a part of them, they can sheathe it into a tattoo. they start out indistinct at the edges but as they have continued on through the campaign they have become more and more distinct. they became a flaming engine of justice to kill their friends shitheaded older brother who was following him. they have learned enough necromancy to allow other fallen angels to die, even though they typically cannot. they fly giant birds in to battle.

7ft tall beefcake wielding a sword as tall as they are. vengeful sweetheart

Imagine now: a fallen angel with beautiful gray hair and very big muscles. Now imagine them with a 9 ft sword. Now imagine them as a helmsperson of a pirate ship in a flowy deep-v pirate shirt. Now imagine they're dumb as a fucking rock. And finally, imagine that they killed god. Here, you have made Gable Skyjacks: sexiest podcast character of all time.

7ft tall nonbinary/genderfluid thembo fallen angel sky pirate who wields a buster sword. silvergrey hair with black/gold streaks as they regain feathers/memories of before their fall. back is covered in tattoos that hide the scars of their shredded off wings. killed God. toxic exes with lucifer. they are the keeper of several giant war birds who occasionally crave human flesh. they enjoy getting rowdy/smoking rope with their boys. they collect rocks that they think are neat. When anyone admits they are attracted to them, Gable trips over their words and absolutely swaglessly ends up sounding stupider and sexier by the end of the conversation; the will they/won't they and teasing they dish out to these (un?)lucky few is palpable. Sometimes the buster sword is on fire. They are immortal, they are cringe, they are trying to atone because they believe they are the reason the world is ruined.

Okay so aside from all of the above (giant with a matching giant flaming sword, killed god, extreme dumbass), here's some more propaganda for Gable the Godkiller.

They've escaped death multiple times with their partner in... crime? Like literally they were about to be executed in the most brutal way possible and just. Escaped and killed all their captors in the snowy wastelands.

They are the helmsperson of the Uhuru and take this job very seriously and definitely haven't left it to Bowser (you know, like from Mario) multiple times. Can steer that flying ship in horrible weather and still make it to port safely.

Healed an entire fucking hospital by cutting their hair for someone they had the hots for who was also in the hospital. Imagine being on that level of myth making in some random port city because of a hair cut.

Giant bird caretaker and also took the giant birds out on their friend's bachelor party (this was like. his Xth polyamorous marriage at this point btw) and had a fucking blast getting high on some rope and fucking around. They've also flown these birds into combat and looked cool as hell doing it (see: killing their friend's shithead of an older brother in a joust).

Had a relationship with Lucifer the Morning Star before they fell as an angel and killed God. Literally the reason the stars fell was their love for each other. The world would not look the same without Gable and they are, at the very least indirectly responsible for the creation of the Church of the Slain God and everything it represents (fantasy Catholicism).

And also yeah they are regularly tripping over themself and saying very silly things. 10/10 character we love Liz Anderson and Gable in this house

I am seeing people say that this Nicky fellow is basically trans! That's very cool! Gable is actually trans. Pronouns they/them/any presentation whatever they feel like.

Gable held a bachelor party for a BFF where the attendees hunted from their sky birds, wore dresses, and still managed to keep their eyeliner on point!

Gable killed God because he wouldn't let them be queer. They should rightfully crush anyone in their path.

We are finally going up against a character I know. I can confidently say all sexy moments with Gable are much sexier than TAZ's largely off-screen romances. Mod Note: This was written during the poll versus Killian Fangbattle.

But seriously. Listen to Gable's most recent introduction. Unparalleled sexy thembo introduction! Context: The Captain's Council is at a magical tattoo/piercing parlor (which has a lengthy form and disclosure process), trying to stay below the radar, and the Captain and Jonnit are pretending to be father/son to keep up the ruse. And to let Jonnit get a tattoo, since he's technically sort of underage. Bonus: Gable's decision at the tattoo/piercing parlor and noping out of Orimar and Jonnit's acting. (You should check out the full episode! Episode 197 starts a new arc and a good point to step into the series!)

Nicky Close (Dungeons & Daddies):

One armed half-demon man with a sword (also a Dedicated, Involved, Loving Father). (Specifically campaign 2, where he is an adult)

Transmasc bisexual (or at least so widely accepted as such it's basically canon) dilf half-demon let's start with the basics

And by half-demon I mean the literal prince of Hell

But also simultaneously is Saint Nicolas get you a man who can do both specifically this man

Missing an arm cause his ex-friends tragically betrayed him and shot it off but he doesn't need two arms to show you a good time wink wink ;)

The betrayal in question forced him to be seperated from his also hot milf voice actress wife and their son which is sad but in like a way that makes him sexier

Uses his one hand to wield a flaming katana that he used to rescue his son from the FBI

Protects his family with his life very literally which is hot as hell

Big himbo energy couldn't come up with a good plan if he used 100% of his brain

When he does fail at things it's pretty cute honestly

Definitely played a variety of musical instruments before the whole arm thing happened! Maybe he still does idk he's a sexy mystery

2 in 1 deal! This man was born from the merging of two timelines! Kinda sick!!! Also two dads = twice the daddy issues

You'd think the whole being forcibly split from his family thing would mean he isn't very close with his son but nope! His son adores him! They get along great!!!

His mom is simultaneously alive and dead

His mom bagged fucking two different dudes (one of whom FOUND HER DEAD in a different timeline, both of which are demons)

HIS MOMS NAME IS MORGAN FREEMAN, HIS DAD’S NAME IS GLENN CLOSE, AND HIS OTHER DAD’S NAME IS JODIE FOSTER, AND HIS GREAT SOMETHING GRANDFATHER’S NAME IS MERYL STREEP

HIS SONS NAME IS TAYLOR SWIFT

Lifelong pot smoker 👍 (plus drug flower user!!)

CANONICALLY BOTH A POLO WEARER (and yes, has all the stereotypes of that attached with it — a nerd, which is hot) AND A LEATHER JACKET WEARER (which also has all the stereotypes attached with it — a rebel dude person, which is also hot) [<- all widely accepted as canon by the fandom even as he’s older]

A part of the SECOND BIGGEST ship of season two, (Nark) despite the two characters only having one-two canon interactions (one of which JUST happened last episode)

Man’s a himbo what’s hotter than that

So many fucking names. You try to tag him in anything and he takes up half the space. That’s probably hot. For someone out there

This was already mentioned but so very very trans. Like. It’s basically canon

Rock and roll(er)

Joined a group of thieves called the watermice when he was like 13

for a few minutes had a guitar called the Battle Axe of Hatred

definitely had an frienimies with benefits relationship with his childhood friend Lark (sorry ppl that don’t ship nark lol) (it’s canon after ep 44 hah)

Nicky also acts like his sons Pokémon! Taylor tells his dad to do things, and Nicky does it without thinking about anything else he could do!

I feel like the audio of the entire Nick-breaking-into-the-FBI scene should be propaganda, but I'm copying select bits from the transcript:

Anthony: Yeah, it kind of echoes up through the vent, like the beginning of Metal Gear Solid. You hear a voice that strikes you as ever so slightly familiar, Taylor. Saying—  ??: [a deep voice] [echoing in the vent] Where is he?  Anthony: You hear—  Will: Uh-oh, he’s hot.  Anthony: —a bunch of shouting voices.  [giggles]  Beth: Uh-oh! Anthony: You hear a bunch of shouting voices and people shouting for him to get down on the ground to turn off his flame. To fucking get his hands behind his back. You hear this rhythmic stepping forward— because his footsteps don't sound like anybody else's because it's almost like… y’know when you toss a little bit of water onto a really hot pan and it just sizzles like that? It's like every footstep he's taking, you can hear that— Freddie: Cool  Anthony: — and you can feel some of that heat coming up in this vent, even though you can't see him at this point. And he goes—  ??: [echoing] Where. Is. My. Boy? Anthony: You hear the FBI agent—the FBI in quotation marks agent—in the back going like—  Agent: [echoing] He's safe for now. If you want to go ahead and make sure that he stays that way, you feel free to go ahead and step inside the suite that we've prepared for you, my boy. Anthony: And you hear the hot guy voice saying—  [chuckles]  The Hot Guy: [echoing] I don't think that's going to happen.

...

[a powerful rush of air builds] Anthony: You hear—  [gunfire, and the air rush culminates in a burst of flame; from underneath the fire, metal music starts playing] Anthony: —plumes of flame exploding.  [a person’s pained shout, gunfire and bursts of flame continue]  Anthony: You can feel the heat radiating through this metal vent and it's actually beginning to hurt and burn your hands.

...

Anthony: And you hear blood—  [sizzling]  Anthony: —hitting the fucking ground and you hear sizzling and things boiling and burning. Taylor: That could just be coffee! That could just be coffee. Link, let's go. Anthony: And you are getting closer and closer to the elevator. And you hear that same hot voice say—  The Hot Guy: [echoing] Where the hell is Taylor?

Gable and Nicky Together:

We are on a joint ticket now! This is a truly unbeatable combo. Not even god can nerf it because Gable killed him. Vote for us. Nicky Close will watch your stuff and play with your cats while Gable gives you the night of your life.

Gable and Nicky can literally be yuor angle or ur bevil.

Art of Gable and Nicky from @slightlyhopefulromantic.

#Round 6 #Glenn Close #Glenn Close DnDads #Gable #Gable Skyjacks #Nicky Close #Campaign #Campaign Podcast #Campaign: Skyjacks #Skyjacks #Dungeons & Daddies #Dungeons and Daddies

[bluexiao]

omg your requests are open? i’d love to see fatui boys (tartaglia and scaramouche) reactions to reader like gushing about them to other people? i feel like they’d both have really interesting yet different reactions

#when you gush over them

–fluff; scara being the douche that he is (not to you ofc) 

Pretty short my allergies are attacking me rn,, also my laptop is fixed miraculously idk how but yeah! 

SCARAMOUCHE

Would be so embarrassed. 

But contrary to anyone’s belief, he would not try to stop you. 

He is no fool, of course. If it doesn’t hurt his ego, then he won’t. Most likely, it even boosts it the more you gush over him in front of other people or even to just other people when he’s not around. 

He’s embarrassed that you’re doing this to him… but he also feels a sense of pride wash over him over the fact that you feel this way towards him and you did not care about what anything or anyone else would say. 

If anyone would judge you for doing this, however, let’s say a subordinate of him, of course, he would not let it slip. They judge you, you judge him. 

“Lord Harbinger… Are you sure… Y/n…” 

“What?” He raises a brow, passing him a narrowed look that could most likely be a glare that could pierce like any dagger would, “What seems to be the problem for you to call my Y/n’s name oh so casually, Agent?” 

Knowingly, the agent trembles from where he was, stuttering with “N-nothing, m-my lord. Y/-I mean, the lord Y/n very well praises the lord Harbinger, and it is good for your reputation, that’s what I meant…” 

“Did I say you could speak?” 

“I-“ 

“Throw him to the dungeons.” 

“Lord Harbinger! Have mercy!” 

TARTAGLIA / CHILDE

Would be so proud he’ll probably gush over himself more than you. 

“Hear that? They’re really proud of me, aren’t they? I mean, why would they not?” He’d say with a smug smirk whilst his subordinates listen to his nonsense with a forced smile. 

At first, you both will gush over him together but he gets pretttyyyyy annoying about it that you'll most likely get so sick of it halfway through the day. 

After you have gotten sick of it though, he will be pretty whiny. 

“Why had you betrayed me like this? I thought you really like me?” Somewhere along those lines. He’s such a dramatic man istg. 

Well, to be frank, he is indeed genuinely saddened over the fact you’ve gotten sick of gushing over him—maybe you’d gotten sick of him?! Already?! Ah! No! 

So do try to gush over him the next day or reassure him that everything is fine and there is no need to worry, he is easily pleased with anything you do or say. 

Reblogs and comments are very appreciated~

TAGLIST (fill the form to be added/removed) 

@softlybeloved @icecappa @sushiyay @scaraslover @beastielevi @rviden @thesatanofpizza @izayanna @stellumi @coco-goat-milk @nonniechan @m3gitsune @chuubear @kiyoobi @catisnerd @ventislatte @weakestpoint @pinkfeiry @aweebstuff @zhongchi14 @windwheel-aster @irethepotato @squiddaloo @scaramunch @cruxdou @favonius-captain @aqualesha @kazuhas-alphabet @astreankitsune @lordbugs @itsghostgirlyo @his-simp @meumorio @tkooooop @fiona782 @my-goldfish-is-not-gold @lisalanding @ezra0000 @extrakuli @kazu-topia @rayskyee @b1loop @kanattac @basicsofdying @windwheel-aster @serenenation @hadesgift @kazewhara @lilikags @solaaresque @yuremini @chichikoi @mooonluv @cloudysky0 @lunaeire @corlapisminer @hahakoharu @myrenbworks @brazilian-anon @k-a-z-u-h-a  @kaeyaheart @irethepotato @disa-ster @hoshikistarlette @astrothighology @sinhasfluffyheadfur @nejibot @myaaki @kaedelove @nejibot @sarahyumiko2 @kaerui-kaisen @loyal-to-my-dilf  @yaexure @random-names-stuff @yumekos-gamble @nejibot @emperatris-rinaka @starforecasts @dai-tsukki-desu @xiaogens @stygianoir @the-midnightskies @apricot-shark @genshinparty @katsumikumo @deathkat657 @bl6o6dy @aikochan4859 @q1ngx1n @scaramouchesfootstool @jaynahh @afchicken @theother-victoria @ynxalynx @ksjjkthpjm @nleedingwhiteroses222 @momoewn @mave-in @akinokisetsu @animexotaku @elianalovesu @dolfay @klawsblr @yuipersonalblog @yeonatingz @observation-subject-753 @yuuki4646 @shaneruarumonte-blog @vortxx @1one1person1 @koalaray @noragami-ghost @d-a-r-k-s-w-a-n @duskimoo @maya1-5-0 @csukcsuk @bleedingwhiteroses222 @jiminscarmex @ngwhiteroses222 @apric-t @kiolet-exe @kitsunekanojo @sherlyss @serenity_ren_bliss @yuki1s--note @sunniewrites @fiannee @magica-ren @kissventii @yur1x-1 @psycho-nightrose

#genshin x reader #scaramouche x reader #childe x reader #scara x reader #tartaglia x reader #fatui x reader #genshin scaramouche #genshin kunikuzushi #genshin childe #genshin tartaglia #blue's works

[procrastinatingsoicanreadfanfics]

Corlys Velaryon NSFW Alphabet

summary: it's in the title :)

notes: why is writing fanfic so easy compared to original works :///

warnings: written with afab!reader in mind, smut, mentions of corlys' god complex

tagged: @majesticwren @obsessiveformiyatwins @levithestripper @cookielovesbook-akie  @a-beaverhousen @ilikeitbetterangsty (hmu to be added/removed!)

masterlist | requests are OPEN!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He knows his size. That’s all I’m gonna say. Takes care of you real good, massages you if you feel sore.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He likes his hands, especially his fingers. Also knows exactly what his ringed hands do to you, and uses it to his full advantage.

Loves your ass. Corlys is definitely into spanking, and it shows.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

All this talk of legacy makes me 100% sure that he always cums inside.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Wants to fuck you on every centimeter of Driftmark, and then some.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s seen the world, of course he’s experienced (also he’s a dilf so…)

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

It’s a tie between anal and doggy. He really does love your ass, and anal is a way to be super super close to you. Doggy is just for the view tbh.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He’s a serious person, and that translates into the bedroom.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Definitely has a manscaping kit from Lys.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

I think he’d be surprisingly romantic and gentle with you, but then he notices the size difference between your head and his hands and…

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

While he’s away, he does it to relieve himself, but he doesn’t need that when you’re there.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Size kink, breeding kink, bondage and dom/sub dynamics

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Anywhere really, as long as it’s not public

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

A display of power from you gets him a little bit excited tbh. It’s more pride than anything, but he still finds it hot.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Share you. You’re his, and it should stay that way. Also, he wouldn’t enjoy subbing or being tied up, but he loves it on you.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Prefers giving, like the man he is. He’s also disgustingly good at it.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Look at him. He does whatever gets your brain mushy.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Seldom, if there’s been a long time period without seeing each other.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

As long as the risks aren’t any of his No’s he’s okay with experimenting (on you)

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Lasts forever. He needs a little rebound time, but he could go at it all night.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He’s traveled the world, so I’d assume he’s brought some stuff back.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Loves to tease you. As said, he wants you to be a little cockdumb. Especially if you’re very powerful normally, there’s something about you being a babbling mess for him that just gets him going

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Silent and deadly

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Brings you lingerie from Lys and Myr to tear it apart

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He knows his size, and his size is big :)

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Pretty high I’d say. He needs it, especially if he’s had a long day.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He takes care of you for a while, but as soon as you’re cuddling together, he’s gone

#corlys #corlys x reader #corlys velaryon x reader #x reader #reader insert #corlys velaryon x you #corlys velaryon #lord corlys #lord corlys x reader #lord corlys x you #corlys velaryon smut #corlys velaryon imagine #corlys valeryon #corlys valeryon x reader

[wonusite]

NERD!SHUA DRABBLE??? say less bb

what abt, library sex??? like reader and shua are supposed to be studying but as we all know they r horknee 24/7. reader is sat on shua's lap with his dick inside her, both of them trying not to make any noise

- dilf cheol nonny

crying (s)creaming throwing up. this is everything.

It’s not Josh’s fault. Your practice got cancelled after your coach got food poisoning, and everyone (especially you) knows he can’t resist you when you wear your cheer uniform. He can’t be blamed. The uniform hugs your body just right and somehow makes you look prettier than you already are.

“My little nerd.” You coo lovingly, leaning down to wrap your arms around Josh’s neck. A sweet kiss is pressed to the top of his cheek with a fond smile. “I knew I’d find you here.”

Josh can feel the heat radiating from his face because no matter how many times you shower him with affection and call him by the cute pet names you have for him, he’ll never get fully used to it. He tilts his head back a bit to receive his kiss from you. You happily indulge him, tongue slipping into his mouth for a few brief seconds. A quiet giggle slips out of you when he chases your lips, noticing that a bulge has already formed in his pants.

He’s pouting until you make yourself comfortable on his lap.

“Fuck, pretty girl.” He mewls against your neck. “Are you doing this on purpose?”

Your hand comes up to pet the back of his head, loving how he’s chosen to grow his hair out. “Doing what, babe?”

His large hands spread your smooth legs open, trailing them up to the place where the evidence of your desire for him can be found. Josh trails a gentle finger up your dampening slit, groaning when you gently chase the feeling. Fuck. You’re always so ready for him, and he’s always ready for you. It makes what he’s about to do that much easier.

“Baby,” Josh coos against your ear. “You’ll let me slide in your pretty pussy, won’t you?”

It’s cute how you pretend to ponder, especially when you spread your legs even wider. You look back at him with a smirk. “Only if you behave and keep studying.”

Surprisingly enough, it’s easy to inconspicuously help Josh get his cock out of his pants, and it’s even easier to slide your panties aside and sit on it. Your boyfriend has trouble keeping his moans quiet because you’re so tight and wet and perfect that he feels like he can come from this alone.

“So tight and wet, just for me.”

You gently grind down on his throbbing cock, moaning softly. “Only for you, baby.”

Josh feels like he’s literally about to burst, when you suddenly start to find the notes he’s left on the table more interesting. You smirk when your boyfriend lets out an affronted noise. His large hand squeeze down on your thighs as he quietly whines in your ear.

“I haven’t studied for the Calc test yet.” You say with a grin. “And you told me we’d do it together.”

Of course your boyfriend loves how much you care about your education, but he can’t believe you can still care so much when you’re literally sitting on his dick. Just as he’s about to protest, you turn your head to him with an expectant look.

“You just told me you’d behave and study.” You say quietly, gently grinding your hips down. “Or did you lie to me?”

He lets out a strained no and lets you continue scanning his notes. It’s hard to not pound into you like he wants, but there’s also something unbelievably hot about you quietly going over the notes he’s taken. Joshua lets out an appease sigh when you let him fuck his cock up into you ever so gently.

“What about this problem?” You point to the type you always had the most difficulty with.

Josh rests his chin on your shoulder before he begins to carefully explain it to you. Too bad you can barely hear him because at the same time he’s sweetly helping you, his large hand slips down to your cunt, rubbing and pinching at your sensitive bud. You whimper quietly, knowing you can’t make any real noise, but also being lost in the pleasure you’re feeling.

“Are you listening?”

You can hear the smugness in Joshua’s voice, and you just know he has a wide smirk on his face. It doesn’t really matter though because his cock keep twitching inside you as if he’s on the verge of coming. A smirk of your own forms on your face as you start to grind down on his cock harder than before, eager to torture him like he was doing to you.

“Yes, baby.” You say through a quiet mewl. “You’re such a good teacher.”

Joshua groans into your shoulder, hands sliding up your body to grips your hips tightly. “Fuck. You just want me to ruin you.”

“Josh.” You mewl when he suddenly bucks his hip up into you, weeping tip slamming against your sweet spot.

“There’s no one around.” He says temptingly.

All it takes is one glance around the library and a small but firm nod from you for Josh to grip your hips and start fucking his cock up into you. His fat cock is dragging against your tight walls so roughly that you can feel every vein. Your pussy clamps down in him, arousal gushing out from you more than before.

You have to slap both hands over your mouth to stifle the filthy moans you’re letting out. His dick is stretching you open deliciously, hips starting to snap almost savagely like he’s lost all reason. And maybe he has. All Josh can focus on now is how your sweet little cunt is gripping his dick so tightly and getting him closer to the edge.

This all comes to a disappointing end when you hear a familiar rowdy pair of voices getting closer to where you two sat. Joshua growls in annoyance, shoving his hot, sweaty face between your shoulder blades. You clear your own throat, hoping Jeonghan and Vernon don’t notice how spent you are despite not coming yet.

“Hey, guys.” You greet a little too sweetly and unaffected for Josh’s taste.

“Mind if we sit?” Vernon asks at the same time Jeonghan plops down directly across from you.

You let out a laugh at your friend’s sheepish expression as he follows the older boy’s lead. The giggle dies down when you feel Josh’s hand reach around to rub and pinch your clit.

“You okay?” Jeonghan wonders when he sees your clenched jaw.

Josh lifts his face and rests it against your own. He gently bucks his hips up as he continues his torture. “Han’s right, baby. You look like you’re about to fall apart.”

And you were. You’re devious boyfriend was going to make sure of it.

#nerd!shua is everything to me #this man will be the death of me #gawd i want him #dilf cheol nonny #nalani.thotz

[nekonanamii]

Satoru is sooo baby girl, the pretty boy type of boyfriend. He’s literally sooo gorgeous even your friends and family think so too. But of course this invites a lot of unwanted attention, girls openly flirt with him even when you’re around. Sometimes he purposely flirts back just to get you jealous cause he lovessss teasing you— but he’ll make sure you know he belongs to you and you only. The only real downside of dating him is he’s needy asf and also a big baby. He annoys the shit out of you and the only way to truly get him to shut up is to sit on his face, and because of that he goes out of his way to annoy you extra 🥰

Suguru is sexy as hell but he’s quite manipulative. A literal gaslighter lol. The man runs a literal cult 😩 I’d imagine him as the type who has multiple little girlfriends and gets away with it too. He’s such a ladies man, has a “ladies ladies no need to fight, there’s plenty of me to go around” — type of mentality. He looks good with two or more girls on his arms.

Nanami is a brat tamer. He loves brats, and loves taming them even more. Literally lectures you while he thrusts into you, his low and sultry voice whispering to your ear about how bad girls deserve to get fucked silly. Gives the best aftercare and treats you like a Queen.

Toji is a fucking dilf. Loves innocent girls with tight cunts. The size difference makes his dick throb. Will definitely cum inside type of boyfriend. Will literally ruin you.

Sukuna… Sukuna only sees you as a cocksleeve if we’re being honest 🫤

#jjk men as boyfriends #jujutsu kaisen #geto suguru #jjk toji #jjk #dilf toji #gojo satoru #gojo #jujutsu kaisen toji #toji fushiguro #suguru #sugurugeto #getou suguru x reader #jujutsu kaisen suguru #gojou satoru x you #jujutsu satoru #jujutsu kaisen satoru #gojo x y/n

[frogchiro]

Hihi this is my first ask ever so I’m not sure how it works, but I love your Pierro work it makes my heart skip a beat whenever I see your little stories, I was wondering if you could do a post about things pierro and his little wife would do while hiding inside from a big snow storm, stuff like baking, drawing, ect (you don’t have to use those it was just examples) and I don’t mind if it’s nsfw or sfw just I’d love to see some more very fluffy romantic moments with pierro. Your writing is so heartfelt and descriptive it really feels as if I’m in the moment when I’m reading it so thank you so much for your amazingly written pierro content :))

Nonnie darling stop this is too nice I literally teared up 😭💕 i'm delighted that you like my silly little writing about the big stoic khaen'riah dilf and thank you for the compliment!💕💕

also warm fluffy hubby pierro is best pierro! snow storms are basically an almost every other day occurance in snezhnaya, this is simply something one has to acknowledge and get used to when living there but that doesn't mean that it isn't a pain is the ass

luckily for you and pierro the cold doesn't bother you much, especially when you're inside pierro's mansion where the man orders for every fireplace to be lit (to be perfectly honest the only lit fireplace he cared for was the one in your shared bedroom, his office, the bathroom and maybe the kitchens but under your stern demand he begrudingly agreed that all hearths have to be lit so that absolutely no one has to freeze in this weather, especially the servants)

although the fire is blazing, windows are shut tightly and the floor of your bedroom is positively almost fully covered with various thick furs, the cold of the Everwinter can still leave a chill in your bones; since the snow storms can sometimes last for days on end, you and pierro have all the time in the world to do whatever you like, be it just basking in each others presence, talking about whatever topic for hours and sharing the juiciest gossip while nursing a warm drink or even quietly working together on paperwork, as the dutiful little wife you are, you always at least try to help pierro with his work to ease the amount from his weary shoulders, but after a while he quietly nudges you and tells you to go and lie down in the nest of furs in front of the giant fireplace clad only in your robe so that he can watch you and have a 'nice little view while he works to motivate him' as he explains to you, a barely there smirk on his handsome face as you blush at your husband and oblige, after all you promised to help your lover in any way right~?

Of course the peace doesn't last very long, your barely clothed soft little body laid out on the soft furs oh so deliciously is a bit to much for pierro, after all he's still just a man, and he's so easy to tempt by your soft curves it's almost embarassing. he stands from his desk and sheds his heavy fur coat as he slowly makes his way towards you, and you let out a tiny whine at the predatory look in in your husband's eye, knowing that the fireplace won't be the only thing to ignite a comforting, familiar and very pleasurable warmth deep inside you

#thank you for the lovely words darling ^.^ #you literally made my whole day😭 #hope you like this too #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #genshin impact fatui #fatui x reader #pierro x reader #genshin impact pierro