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#He's smart but dumb

blessyouhawkeye · 1 year

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the best part about wei wuxian's resurrection scene is that it happens when the audience doesn't know anything about him yet, so when he goes "i'm going to act like a deranged homosexual lunatic so no one recognizes me" you're like yeah sure that could be a feasible disguise until the flashback happens and you realize it's a terrible idea, because wei wuxian acts like a deranged homosexual lunatic all the time

#wei wuxian who is famous for being weird about lan wangji: i'm going to be weird about lan wangji he'll never guess it's me #he's so smart but so dumb. i desire him carnally.#the untamed #mo dao zu shi #mdzs #wei wuxian

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adharastarlight · 6 months

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The James Oblivious Potter Chronicles Pt1

James: people are so stuipd

Sirius: whats up prongs?

James: someone in potions just said you and moony were dating! Just because he's into dudes and youre gay doesnt mean youre dating?!

Sirius: James-

James: that would be like saying Marls and Cas are dating just because theyre lesbians

Sirius: uhm, James-

James: dont worry, i told them you're just friends

Sirius: WHAT!?

Remus walks in and he looks so hurt and a little pissed: we're... friends now are we?

Sirius: no- no, mon amour- no, james is just a fucking moron

James: what... wait are you two...?

Sirius and Remus: yes!?!

Sirius: for like five months!?!

James: WHAT

Remus: we kiss in front of you all the time???

Sirius: we're constantly holding hands???

Remus: we go on dates like constantly???

Sirius: I told you I want to marry him!?!

James: I thought that was in a best friend way!!!

Sirius:

Remus:

James: wait so are marls and cas...?

Sirius: Yes!!!

Remus: james who the- what- how-

James: WHO ELSE!?!

Sirius: crouch and rosier, pandora and emmeline, lily and mary???

James: ohhhh... what about Regulus?

Remus, grinning: no one, why?

James:

Sirius:

James: so you guys are dating, should i... buy you a plant?

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bullagit · 8 months

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due to personal reasons i am now firmly on team “i hope aziraphale does change heaven for the better actually (going on the assumption that his return is as straightforward as it seemed etc”

like if the alternative is just this ohhh he’s so NAIVE and SOFT and so WRONG and he’ll have to LEARN A TOUGH LESSON etc etc nonsense then yeah 1000% go for it babe knock it out of the park

i hope choosing hope and kindness pays dividends. i hope the soft traits that made other characters continually disparage and underestimate him and his intelligence turn out to be his greatest assets bc i kinda don’t give a shit about a “toughen up it’s the only way everyone else knows better” life lesson for this character

(which like honestly a lot of the rhetoric is dismissive of the fact that persistent goodness in the face of an existence of disparagement takes great strength and that at the end of the day aziraphale has always been able to stand up in his own way)

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens spoilers #aziraphale #aziraphale IS in fact a dark horse #he is consistently dismissed and underestimated and overlooked bc of how he presents himself!#even crowley does this with him (not in any sort of malicious way its a sense of protectiveness)#(i am not here to get into how aziraphale n crowley treat each other in ways that are unintentionally hurtful id be here forever lmao)#the point is that aziraphale is smart and tbh he knows more about how shitty heavens treatment has been the past few thousand year??#since he's. he's been the one getting treated badly. that whole time.#anyway theyre both right theyre both wrong and end of the day i just.#i hate the concept of a s3 that equates softness and kindness with being wrong and naive and dumb etc #it does not feel very good omens to me idk man #so i hope that's not where it goes

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shouldersshrug · 1 month

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some of yall need to infantilize sam less. im all for different viewpoints on characters but sometimes it’s just downright disrespectful. “haha sam thinks chocolate milk comes from brown cows” that is a grown man who smokes weed and has a computer science nerd for a best friend

#sdv #stardew valley #just a personal gripe i have with a lot of posts and sometimes even some of the fanfic i read 😭 it happens so often #people dumb him down SO much even though he’s a very smart person. just not in the book smarts way #he is emotionally intelligent! he knows wtf is happening around him! he isn’t patrick star spongebob!#sam stardew valley #shoulder shrugging

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thefaeriecreek · 11 months

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Link would be the type of chess player that has a hard time concentrating on the strategy of the whole board and can only concentrate on a piece at a time. He loses most games, but his strategy is nonexistent, making him extremely unpredictable. Revali is a master strategist, (which we can see in his dialogue in Age of Calamity), so Link's blockheaded, rock-eating playing style is infuriating.

#everybody's favorite rock-eater playing “chest” as he called it #link #revali #revalink #if only because they will be boyfriends #botw #loz #breath of the wild #i like writing Link as kind of this dumbass that is actually kind of smart about certain things #like he seems really dumb but really he's just too autistic to communicate properly and will sometimes point at a horse and go “horse”#in other words he is me #i am he #art #thefaeriecreekart

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dwobbitfromtheshire · 6 months

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Also, I'm pretty sure Steve knows music he just pretends he doesn't, so Eddie can educate him. It's a definite move. Also, he's hard of hearing and he uses that his advantage.

"You know, maybe if you sat in my lap, I would be able to hear you better," Steve would say.

Eddie would sigh before sitting in his lap and continuing his rant about all kinds of music. Of course, Dustin would ruin it.

"Why are you sitting in Steve's lap, Eddie?" Dustin asked as he walked into Steve’s house uninvited. . .again.

"So he can hear me, duh," Eddie exclaimed.

"Dustin," Steve warned.

Dustin pulled Steve’s hair to the side.

"He's wearing his hearing aide," Dustin said.

"Uh, I forgot to get new batteries," he said.

"The light says otherwise," Dustin said.

"You have deceived me! Forsaken me!" Eddie exclaimed and narrowed his eyes. "What else have you lied to me about? Dustin, leave, so I can punish your babysitter properly."

"I just got here!" Dustin exclaimed.

"Leave!" Steve and Eddie said without looking away from each other.

The next day. . .

"Oh my God! That's a lot of bruises on your neck, Steve," Dustin said. "What'd Eddie do? Punch you in the neck?"

"Yeah, that's exactly what he did," Steve said dryly. ". . . With his mouth."

"Oh my god!"

#stranger things #stranger things s4 #eddie munson #joseph quinn #eddie stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson lives #steddie #steve x eddie #steve harrington x eddie munson #dustin henderson #he's smart as he is dumb #it turned into a ficlet

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patroclusdefencesquad · 2 months

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top five iconic Damen moments go. If there’s too many give me top ten. This is urgent scientific research.

oh my god you are so lucky i have a long train journey today so here we go, in no particular order because hell if that is possible :

when he threw a mf broadsword. a sword that is meant to be swung with two hands (!!). and he just casually yeeted it from the back of a horse. into a guy who was about to kill his enemy who wasn't even his lover yet

kingsmeet. kingsmeet was the Pinnacle of the man. he broke his country's most sacred rules without even fucking hesitating out of sheer rage and love at what had been done to laurent get this man fucking husband of the year

obviously it has to be "i speak your language better than you speak mine, sweetheart" no man has ever been so stupid and yet so sexy

every moment in book three where he's like "did i fucking stutter."

"damen rose from the throne, and put his hand to the gold brooch at his shoulder. his garment dropped, and the crowd roared their approval" cock out and thriving. king

when he chose laurent he literally chose laurent over his kingdom he was prepared to sacrifice it all for him this MAN

when he was screaming crying throwing up at having to tell laurent who he was and laurent was just like "i know." sksjsks you dumb fucking bitch OF COURSE HE KNEW everything you now know about this man and you think he doesn't know the man who killed his brother god i love you how can a man be so smart and yet so. so

"i think if i gave you my heart, you would treat it tenderly" sobbing. literally sobbing on a train. he's so sweet he's so gentle he loves laurent so much. he's so. so. also that scene where he tells laurent if auguste hadn't died he still would have courted him. once he starts loving laurent he literally cannot conceive of a world where he does not love him i'm crying

he's beefy. it's not an iconic moment it's just his natural state of being but it's iconic to ME. his arms could hold me so good. his tits are as big as his heart. his ass? bouncing. his thighs? could crush me and i'd welcome it

his dimple :')

there we go it started out as a list of iconic damen moments it ended as me rambling about everything i love about him what can i say he lives in my head rent free i'll never find a man like him

#he literally has it all #smart but dumb. beefy. strong. gentle. protective. sweet. he represses his trauma so there's an 'i can fix him' vibe about him #to quote a tag on my previous post #he fucks he fights he flings insults #he's everything to me #i remember i did a whole rant in some tags once about my love for him i need to find that again #captive prince

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sibmakesart · 8 months

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Snippets of the college au

Izzys the one everyone thinks is a bad influance because hes a little angry emo but hes actually the only one that has the slightest disire to graduate

Hes also the worst teatcher ever and will let his boyfriends lead him astray from his homework

#art #artists on tumblr #digital art #ofmd #izzy hands #stede bonnet #edward teach #steddyhands #college au #modern au #theyre all adults here so we clear #izzy is a little younger but idk why yet #ed is older bc hes smart af but adhd + not giving a shit lead him to bad grades and more or leass dropping out everyear 3 months in #stede is smart of books dumb of ass

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msookyspooky · 2 months

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I cannot help it my biggest peeve in the Scream fandom is ppl making Stu Macher obliviously stupid, naive and innocent 'Duuhhh, we're killing ppl??? I just wanted to impress Billy?? I never meant to kill anyone, Billy manipulated me!'

As if this man wasn't targeting his ex girlfriend, lured his current girlfriend to her death to get beers, had mutilated dolls hanging by their necks in his attic mimicking his ex's death, was bleeding out MORE than Billy yet still more dangerous than Billy by attacking Sid when he should be knocked tf out and looking like this the entire reveal.

Whatever alternate reality version of Scream Y'ALL are watching I wanna see it cause it ain't mine

#HoW fandom makes Bo too hateful to even his brothers and too insanely awful #Scream fandom doesn't make Stu mean smart or crazy enough!#scream #stu macher #like Bo is fucked in the head but I can admit my pookie is dumb and not the mastermind he thinks he is #AND I can say with my whole chest Stu is an absolute nut and pos but I love him

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batfamhyperfixation · 1 month

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TD:R era, Tim and Bernard start dating and Bernard goes off to buy Tim the good luck charm necklace, but Tim, who is patrolling as Robin, sees Bernard go into a jewelry shop that happens to have a *very* wide selection of engagement rings. Tim, a great detective, which makes him cocky and jump to conclusions as fast and with the same resolute as his conspiracy theorist boyfriend, goes ‘we haven’t been dating long enough for Bear to propose which means he is dating someone else too, but if he is proposing to them, THAT MUST MEAN IM THE ONE HES CHEATING WITH’ and so Tim starts panicking. Bernard goes back to Tim’s boat and is waiting for Tim to get home, so Tim decides he must confront him:

Tim, forgetting to change out of his robin suit in his hysteria, barging into his own houseboat: Bear, am I your side hoe???

Bernard, who was sitting at the table eating dinner, looking up confused at Robin: no?? I only have one boyfriend? Tim?

Tim, relieved, walking out the door and taking his key he used to unlock it, promptly erasing this whole interaction from his brain: oh good, ok see you later babe, gonna go to the grocery store

Bernard: what the fuck

Later tim comes back with groceries and that is where Bernard pieces it all together, Robin using Tim’s keys, Robin calling him Bear, which only Tim calls him, Tim coming back with the groceries Robin said he would grab, and that is how Bernard figured out Tim was Robin before Tim ever told him

#let Tim be an idiot #like he’s really smart and that’s what makes him an idiot #they have to complement each other in both stupidity and smart detectiveness #they both have to be the different between intelligence and wisdom #Tim thought he was doing a much better job than he was at hiding it and yes Bernard is smart and deduced it but also let Tim be dumb #tim drake #bernard dowd #timbern #timber #bi tim drake #tim drake headcanon

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apotelesmaa · 3 months

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I find it incredibly funny that emu and rui are made out to be the most academically talented out of the wxs unit given that they both also need to be babysat anytime the group goes out in public. Their boundless intelligence and unending whimsy is matched only by their need to get sillay.

#emu helping nene with math was such a good small writing choice. girl is smart!!! I’m so proud of her.#ppl who portray her as dumb… just say u hate a whimsical girl and go.#& in general I will always find it hysterical that rui has created a fully sentient AI and countless high tech robots #which he exclusively uses to put on funny little shows for an amusement park.#project sekai #wakes up posts this goes back to sleep. one of those days.

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narcissarina · 1 month

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𝔊𝔬𝔩𝔡𝔢𝔫 ℭ𝔞𝔤𝔢, 𝔅𝔩𝔲𝔢 𝔅𝔬𝔫𝔡𝔰

જ⁀➴Previous chapter

Pairings: bodyguard!Leon × college billionaire!reader

Word count: 2,661

Summary: You tried to run off to escape him, but failed. Now you two created such scene in school grounds.

𝙸𝙸.

The most dangerous agent, now your bodyguard—stood before you. He’s prettier than you thought, pretty boy? Pretty boy. You just didn’t want to admit that he’s so much better in person, much more better than those pictures and in news.

He could be a role model of he wanted to, with that heartthrob of a face—you just took a guess that this man can pull any woman he wants, but little did you know that he’s actually awkward towards women.

“Hi..?” you began, tone indifferent with a cock brow, “pleasure to meet you, your father says that I’ll be your bodyguard from now on.” His voice deep and husky, you would be lying if it didn’t made your legs clench together, right?

You cleared your throat and mind, shaking off those kinds of thoughts, “I appreciate it, but I don’t need one.” You grit your teeth while uttering those words, you turn to your father and frown at him—trying to get your pretty, begging eyes to have your father throw him out. Eyes screaming, “but, daddy! I don’t want him, I can take care of myself.” Type of eyes.

Your father could only smile and turn to Leon, “I am so sorry about that.” Then grip your hand, it hurts but you could only frown and storm out of the scene.

Leon’s gaze followed your figure till you disappear from his sight, he turns and talk more with your father—getting his objectives and that when the others need him, he can’t be with you for a while.

You surround yourself with all your squishy, grumbling under the sheets and doing your assignments there. Yet, another topic that your stupid ass professor did not teach, you called Sarina—her phone is off. You whine and threw your feet, some of your plush got off the bed and you sat up, still under the blanket and stare at it.

You hiss at the light as your blanket got pulled off, “what are you doing?” It was Leon, your blanket in his hand and put it in the edge of your bed. “What are you doing in my room?” you hiss and got off of bed and walk towards, you heard him scoff and pick up the squishy and plush that fell off the bed, “didn’t knew father also hired a personal cleaner.”

You gave him a side-eye and cock a brow, he smiled at your remark, amused as he place them in bed. “Aren’t I the first one who asked you a question, sweetheart?”

Sweetheart.

You shudder at the name, either you cringe or just felt your stomach flutter. No one called you sweetheart before, not even your father. Either they call you dear or by your name, plus with a monotone or demanding tone of voice. But Leon’s? It was low and seducing. As if he’s luring you into a trap.

You didn’t answer, back turn to him as you resume your focus to your work. Pen tapping the desk, as Leon just watch you from the distance.

It only took a few minutes until Leon walked up to your desk and lean down to see what you’re up to, your breath hitches and turn your head to him—quickly moving your head away as you inhale some of his cologne.

“What are you up to?” he asked, “none of your business.” You replied, rolling your eyes as his hands were holding on to the edge of your desk, completely trapping you in between. “oh, this is easy.” He points then read the question aloud in my textbook, “Examine the role of women in World War II and the, both on the home front and in combat roles.”

He turns to you, leaning a little close, “so?” you stay quiet, not knowing what to answer since it isn’t even taught by your prof, or rather it was just a boring video that you didn’t payed attention in class. You mutter lowly, “dunno.”

He sigh and took out a chair and sat beside you, you grumble, “I didn’t think father also hired a tutor.” Your remark. “Well since you’re a woman, I think you should know this question. Isn’t women empowerment a thing?” he asked, you glared at him and punch him to his side, he didn’t budge and took your punch. He even thinks you punch cute.

“are you insulting me?” you said, “I didn’t say that.” He chuckle in amusement and took the back of your chair to scoot you close, he cleared his throat and took your pen. He points to the text and began, “women played a crucial role in world war two, what are those roles?” he asked, giving a pause and letting you answer but words didn’t come out of your mouth and just shrunk in your sit.

“eyes here, princess.” He took your jaw and gently force you to look at the textbook, “I’m not done explaining.” He added and continue, “women serves in various capacities, such as factory workers, nurses, and members or armed forces.” You listen attentively, never know that his voice sounded so nice when explaining things. Even kind enough to provide you answers.

“Countries like the Soviet Union, women served in combat roles as pilots, snipers, and partisans.”

“They held guns?”

“yes, they held guns.”

“I wanna hold a gun too.” You mutter and let your face fall to your textbook and turn your head, “continue.”

Leon nodded and stared at your face, then eyes on the textbook again. “Their contributions not only supported the war efforts but also challenged traditional gender roles and paved the way—” you cut him off.

“for greater gender equality in the post-war period.” You mutter lowly, Leon nodded and lean back to his chair, “and here I thought you didn’t know.” He gave you a faint smirk as he folds his arms. “that’s the only thing I heard when class ended.”

“you said your prof didn’t taught you this?” he raised a brow, “or did you simply didn’t listen to your lessons?”

You let out a ‘hmp’ and scoot your chair to your desk and statt working on your assignment, you were guilty but you didn’t want to admit that—you think it’ll make him a know-it-all. And your pride wouldn’t let you.

“You on your own? Or you still need me to break down history for you?”.

“You’re annoying.”

“that’s not the answer I’m looking for, princess.”

You ignored him, but he stayed incase you didn’t understand some parts and need him to explain to you. And he was right, you’d tap your pen again and it’s his cue to come and help you, you’re almost teary and at meltdown at your assignment.

Leon finds this amusing and stayed longer than intended.

You start yet another day, doing your usual routine but the twist is Leon will be and always will be following you around. As long as you don’t disappear from his sight, he won’t interfere.

Good news, you finish your assignment last night! Congratulations, you wouldn’t finish it then interrupt Sarina from her book without Leon’s help. Not only is he hot, but also smart—you felt a bit embarrassed that for someone you just met for the first time would be tutoring you.

But, hey. At least he is much better than those boys who tutor you in the past then ended up getting tutored by Sarina.

You made your bed, showered, pick an outfit to go to school to slay yet again. Leon could only watch you move and do your thing in the distance, you come downstairs get your breakfast as you finally got to the car that’ll drive you to school.

Plot twist: Leon must be there with you.

You hate that idea, since you felt awkward from last night—you go from hating him then needing him when there’s a topic that you know nothing about, Leon must be thinking you’re just crazy and having a terrible mood swing.

The whole car ride was a bit eerie, even the driver that drove you yesterday felt uneasy. You steal a glance and you turn away quickly because you realized that his eyes were always locked into you. His icy and cold gaze always following your every move, sounds creepy. Isn’t that the type of book trope that Sarina reads?

You can feel him tug a small smile from his lips then turning away, his expression quickly changing to a cold, unexpressive expression. Like this man doesn’t smile at his whole life.

Your bag on your lap, your attention out the window as you and Leon sat at the same seat quietly—keeping a good distance between the two of you until you finally arrived at your destination.

You gave the driver another tip and now, he felt like he can’t stop you from tipping him. You got out the car, and so does Leon’s. You can tell people at your back stop their tracks and take out their phones as if they have seen a real life celebrity—scratch that, he is a celebrity. This motherfucker saved the presidents daughter.

You don’t like the whispers, since Leon is with you—they’ll ask you questions if you two were a thing, why is Leon with you. How come the most dangerous agent is with a person like you.

You like gossips, really—you love the juicy drama and tea, but you don’t like getting involve into drama. They’ll spread it like wildfire, asking questions if they could have Leon’s phone number or that if you two did the deed and if so, is he good? Is he endowed? Fuck them.

Turning your back at him, he follows, “you can stop following me!” you hiss, “can’t do that, sweetheart.” Leon remark, his front touching your back—towering you from behind, you look up to meet his blues.

In others eyes, they could see two people flirting in school grounds, one an agent that dates a college student. Scandalous, isn’t it?

“you can’t always follow me, Leon!” you said and start to walk off, but Leon caught your wrist and turn you around to meet his eyes, “your father instruct me to protect you, I can’t go against your father’s will, now can I?”

You could hear giggles from other students, their phones out and recording—word could spread and come to the principal. “I can’t always have you here, Leon.”

“I won’t interrupt you, I just need to watch over you and ensure your safety, princess.” You snatch your wrist away, you groan and walked away whilst Leon follows. People think that they just witness a fucking conflict of a love story.

You went to the cafeteria to buy some drink, Leon’s outside the cafeteria—it was bustling with people and every people that pass by, they see the blonde agent and asked to take photos with him, which you don’t know if he declines of not.

You took your drink, striking a right time to lose your bodyguard—but there’s only one in and out of the cafeteria and Leon seems to be busy making small talks with the students, so—the first thing that came out from your mind is to run. It’s quite dumb, really. Leon could catch you for 10 seconds max and held you in place so you wouldn’t be a naughty girl.

But you still made a run for it, good thing you still hasn’t pluck the straw in and that your bag isn’t with you right now.

“hey, hey!” Leon yelled, his voice changing to a higher pitch tone, “get back here.” He said and rushes over you, adrenaline kicks in—Leon’s chasing you, not knowing you’re making a scene and people recording. They’ll think that two people are having a chase of their life romantically, but it isn’t. Leon is pissed, your pace began to slow down and before you knew it—you were swept off your feet as he threw you over his shoulder.

“Let me go!” you whine and hit his back a few couple of times, you feel him pat and slap your ass and taking a few deep breaths, “naughty girl.” He said and picked up the drink you dropped.

He picked up your bag where he left it since you asked him to watch it for you. “Now, where to?” he asked, sliding the strap over his shoulder, “Leon, stop! People are watching.” You whine and move your legs to get off.

“No worries, you’re getting the attention you deserve.”

“Stop!” your ear and cheeks burning hot red, you could only cover your face with your hands and just accepts defeat. “where to?” he asked again, “Library…”

You cover your face from the entire walk where Leon still has you in his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, Sarina was waiting for you in the library and Leon came in with you in his shoulder—peoples eyes dart to you and him when he entered, “girl, I have been waiting fo—” Sarina cut herself mid-sentence.

Leon puts you down, you’re facing him and your back at Sarina—you don’t wanna face your best friend now and be dumped with a bunch of questions. You lose balance and your covered face made contact with Leon’s chest, you don’t fucking care anymore. You’re too embarrassed to exist now.

Leon looked down and grab you to your shoulder and try to turn you around, you don’t want to and whine at him. Hiding yourself to him and hitting him repeatedly.

“Don’t be a brat now, princess.” Leon whispered, “or else, you’ll draw more attention—which you don’t want, right?” he added and that made you sit down with your friend and ignore Leon’s existence.

Sarina’s kept wandering back and forth to Leon, scooting over to you and giggling as she whispers unnecessary things like how luck you were and that if you two were a thing.

“He’s my bodyguard, the end. Period. End of story. No more question.” You said with gritted teeth, Saeina backs out and chuckle, “ok girl.” She rolled her eyes while Leon only watch.

“by the way, who’s that guy?” you point at the distance, male group with a few females across the room—one particular guy catches your attention, but hey—didn’t you say that you hate guys?

“Why do you asked? I mean, you have Leo—” you hit Sarina with her book closed and she let out a hiss of pain, “god fucking damn—” she curses and glared at you.

“I’m just asking, that doesn’t mean I’m interested.” Or are you? Leon cock a brow and turn his attention to the group with males and female student whispering among themselves and as if they were being held back at being loud.

A brunette guy snatches your attention, curly hair and his smile is something that made you drift you away from reality—as if time froze and it’s just you and him. But Leon isn’t having it, he has this feeling but he shouldn’t voice it out. He’s here for work, he shouldn’t give a shit about you having a little crush over a guy.

But the feeling is that the guy will be a playboy, that’s the vibe Leon is getting since there’s two girls surrounding him.

But who is he to judge?

Leon snapped your attention away, “if you have laser eyes, you could’ve burn through that guys face, you know that?” you hit him and sulk.

Sarina rolled her eyes, “girl, if you want him. Try to have him, I’m just saying that your bodyguard is so much better.” You try to hit her one more time but she dodges and ran out of the library.

But little did you know that the brunette turn his eyes and laid on you, you never knew but instead his gaze met Leon’s cold icy blues. You want to question Leon why he has his hand on your waist as he drags you out of the library.

You’re really in for a ride, aren’t you?

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