#Hellions 10 Review
Text
When it Rains
An Alistar x Kanai Fic
⚠️Content Warning⚠️
Emotional confusion, Vanilla, Comfort, Fluff, Hurt
Smut :^)
Description: Kanai and Al decide to have a beach day, but the weather has other plans. With such gloomy weather, Nai finds himself facing the newfound feelings building inside his vessel. How will Al, as his best friend, handle such a fragile moment?
Author’s Notes: Oooooops me and Geez needed some comfort and fluff and just like some juicy Nai and Al love. @aller-geez did the cover art and owns Kanai! 🥰 Enjoy!
“Nai, you ready to go? I’ve got the bag of snacks, and the bag that Draeko packed of beach shit,” Alistar spoke with a loose cigarette hanging from his moving lips, managing to keep the cancer stick from trickling out of his mouth. He takes a long drag, and exhales through his nose. Kanai looked around and then grabbed Alistar’s backpack of paraphernalia.
“Quite, but you’re forgetting your own bag, Donnie,” handing it out to the red head who looked at the hound with an almost annoyed expression as he gestured to his already full hands.
“I see that…can you carry it there pal? Little full up,” lifting the bags in his hands to emphasize.
“Oh….yes, I can do that….apologies,” nodding his head in response, his emotionless face staring back at Al’s own written in slight stress. This was their first trip to the beach, Draeko unfortunately had to accompany Levi on a shopping trip, so he really only packed a bag for them, and the demons were on their own for the rest. It was 10 in the morning, figuring that would be a good time to take a drive out there and spend the afternoon out under the sun. Yet there was something brewing in the wind.
Both the hellions had never stepped foot in the large body of water. No ocean experience was given to either of them before entering the living world, today, would be the day.
They both walked out of the apartment with hands towing large beach bags toward the black charger that belonged to the red headed demon. “Hey Nai….” Alistar spoke up as his crimson eyes noticed the sky around them was a light grey, no sunshine to be seen and the sharpened air was nipping at their slowly reddening noses.
“Yes, Donnie?” Kanai looked over at his friend, following behind as the red head opened the trunk and they started to empty their arms.
“Think the beach will have more sun? It’s kinda ass out today….” Alistar asked while apprehensively shoveling their stuff into the car’s trunk, his attention mostly drawn upon the dismal sky. He took another long drag off the cigarette he had been nursing before flicking it into the gravel.
“Most definitely. From my research, it’s always sunny at the beach according to the many different movies and online photographs I’ve seen,” Kanai spoke with confidence, as he typically did when he was speaking upon a subject he believed to be knowledgeable in.
“Okay cool,” Alistar taking his best friend’s word for face value before slamming the trunk shut and sliding into the vehicle. Alistar shoved the key into the ignition and started to change gears.
Kanai snapped his belt in place and looked over at the crimson eyed demon before raising a brow. “Al, aren’t you forgetting your safety strap?”
“Man, you know I hate that thing….” Alistar scoffed, adjusting his seat and review mirrors to optimal comfort.
“They say most deaths occur when one’s safety strap is not fully secured,” Kanai continued the subject, only causing the other to roll his eyes dramatically into the back of his skull.
“Ooo Death, so scaryyyy…please, I still have that Resurrection Stone you gave me, I’ll be fine….Im not tryna suffocate behind that thing for an hour and a half to the beach, you’re high,” he made a ‘pft’ sound with his lips, pushing the air away with a loose hand and shrugged his shoulders carelessly.
“Incorrect, I have yet to inebriate myself today, thank you very much,” Kanai spoke earnestly.
“It’s just an expression, Nai, please….Besides we ran out of drugs the other day I gotta re-up tonight when we get back,” he rolled his eyes for a second time, something he often did when Kanai was missing the point.
“Hmm,” was all the navy haired demon responded with. Despite having been earth bound for a year at least, he found that it was still hard picking up on social ques and quirks. He struggled greatly with things like sarcasm, and metaphors. It often left Kanai feeling misplaced, and sometimes a little off put. He was the smartest of his siblings, one could argue as the most intelligent creature within the realms of hell. Yet everyday he felt at odds with Earth, and his vessel that so closely resembled human behaviors. He didn’t understand, why he didn’t understand.
The drive was relatively silent between the two friends. Neither of them finding reason to speak in all honesty. After 20 minutes of stark silence though, Al wound up connecting his phone and blaring Hollywood Undead.
“WHEN I START DRINKING, MY DICK DOES ALL MY THINKING!” Alistar sang along with furious passion to the words as his eyes scanned the road in front of him. His voice boomed and echoed around them, loud and carefree, Kanai looked over at his friend, observing the behavior. Why couldn’t he do that? Why was he so vastly different from his hellion counterpart? He silently watched, brooded, wishing it could be him that careless and vulnerable. Even if it was just an example of joy. The navy haired man sighed deeply, lost in his head as he looked outside the window now. The sky still darkened by the horrible weather afoot.
They drove like this for the time it took to get a few miles out, basically until Alistar started to notice that the weather was in fact not improving the closer they got. “Hey, Dude, it doesn’t look very sunny out here,” peering over his best friend for a moment before he took his gaze back to the road, turning into the parking lot.
“Hm…this wasn’t what the research provided me, but to be completely fair with you Al, I didn’t do an extensive search…my apologies,” feeling almost, disappointed? Normally when he makes an error, he’s easily forgiven by himself. It happens. Everyone makes mistakes. Yet, something about this felt different, was it because he truly wanted a good day with his friend and it felt ruined somehow?
“Well…we’re already here so we might as well scope it out, see if we can’t still have a good time,” the red head shrugged his thin shoulders, trying to still find the best in this current situation, even if it looked slightly bleak. Something about today was off alright. Kanai slid out of the vehicle and helped Alistar retrieve their beach bags before they struggled their way to a spot.
“Holy shit, how the fuck does anyone get anything done out here? I can barely walk in this shit,” they both looked unprepared for the trek, sneakers filling with sand only making their footsteps heavier.
“You’re right Al, this is an insufficient surface to be traveling across…why do humans enjoy this?” The closer they got to the water though, the easier it got for their legs to power through. Finding a decent spot that was far enough away from the tide.
“Okay let’s put all our shit here…” the red head let out an exasperated exhale of air. Kanai settled the things he brought, down onto the sand, then quickly pulling his shoes off his feet. The sky began to close further in, and the sting of cold air warned everyone around, that the weather was to turn for the worst. Small trickles of rain began to descend from the sky, Alistar looked up and put his palms out. “Seriously? It’s gonna rain?”
“I should have looked up today’s weather, Again, my apologies,” Kanai almost blushed at this point, he was feeling overwhelmed with a sense of shame. Normally, he was smarter than this, more prepared. What was wrong with him?? Again, he almost blushed, but it stayed as flat as it usually did. His feet struggling through the sand as he attempted to pull his shoes off, “This substance sure is stubborn…it’s everywhere,” Kanai’s brows furrowed as he shook his shoes clear only to realize that the socks he was standing in, were now also covered in sand.
This had to be the straw that broke the camel’s back because for the first time since they got to earth, Kanai threw down his shoes with purposeful aggression, shoveled his body into a sitting position and pouted with frustration. He didn’t care that the rain started to pick up and soak through his hair, and clothes, only making the surface of his body that much more comfortable for sand to make home.
“Who shit in your sandwich, buddy? It’s just some sand and a little bit of rain, relax!” Alistar tried to cheer up his friend, brushing it all off as no big deal. “Although I don’t know how much fun this’ll be in the rain….” He muttered trailing off, looking up to see the sky coming down on them. His red hair sticking to the sides of his face.
“No, Donnie, it’s not the substance, it’s this vessel, there’s something wrong with it,” his brows furrowed deeper, he looked away unable to place the way he felt. It was welling up inside of him like an overflowing cup, but he couldn’t explain that. What was happening? Why was it happening? Today of all days ?
Alistar didn’t say anything this time, truthfully concerned, this wasn’t like Kanai. He was used to the friend that was more or less emotionless or sinister, no in between moments. This was as an in between moment and neither of them understood what was going on. “Did something happened, Nai?” Alistar, slowly taking a seat next to his friend looking at him with a crooked neck, neither of them seeming to care anymore about how the sky drenched them both.
“All day….its been weird but…getting here, realizing my research was inadequate…I know I haven’t logically done anything Alistar, but I feel like I have failed,” his brows tightened, still confused by the own words that came out of his mouth. The more frustrated he got, the more his vessel began to react. A single tear fell from behind his blackened sclera. “Now I’m leaking! Great! Is there anything that this idiotic vessel isn’t malfunctioning with??” Alistar looked over at his friend, now his face fully folded in worry as he reached over to touch Kanai’s open hand. Just barely brushing their fingers together.
“Kanai….you’re crying….” the red head had never seen the hound in such a state, small tears trickling down his cheeks. “What’s going on with you?” Kanai looked down and noticed the demon’s hand getting closer to his, and took it. Threading their fingers together Kanai looked down at his knees and shook his head.
“I don’t know….I can’t compartmentalize any of these thing,” huffing again through his nose the more he tried to understand what was happening, the less he could make out the sense of it.
“Okay, do you know what could have caused it?” Alistar raised a thin red brow trying to get to the bottom of this like it was a job he was being paid to do.
“I feel…..like…..” Kanai started, but then paused again finding himself at a road block.
“Go on,” encouraging the other to continue.
“Like all I do is let everyone down,” Kanai sighed deeply, letting it out but truthfully not certain that was the extent to the way he felt. It was just the cherry on top of it all.
“What do you mean dude? You never let me down,” there it was, Kanai suddenly broke and crumbled into a fit of sobs.
“Wh-what’s happening n-now??” Kanai tried to quickly wipe away the mess of wet that fell from his face. He was confused and now leaking worse than he ever had.
“You’re uh….honestly, Kanai, I’m not sure but I’ve seen this happen to Drae….?” His brows folded inward as he also tried to explain what was happening to his friend but not fully grasping it himself either.
“Me-me Too…..” Kanai replied, recalling all the moments he’d seen this happen to their dear little pet.
“Here,” Alistar leaned over and wrapped his long arms around his friend, burying his face into the crook of his neck, and now rubbing his back. “This usually helps the pet…” he muttered loosely into the other’s ear. Kanai felt the pressure of emotions push through the flood gates, and the hound clasped his hands to the back of Alistar’s shirt for dear life as he sobbed into his shoulder.
“What if I can’t please father? What if I let you down? What if we never see Draeko again ? What if ….I never truly learn the meaning of being human?” Alistar’s eyes almost widened with utter shock. So these were the thoughts causing the navy haired hound to panic. Seemed he really was embracing his humanity. It seemed so off, so strange. Was it the weather? Alistar can’t remember the last time they saw sun.
“You can’t think like that, man, you can’t…who cares about pleasing your dumb dad, he didn’t deserve your loyalty anyway….and Draeko? He’s stuck with us, I’ll drag that little pink and green brat down to hell with us if I need to….” He scoffed carelessly and rolled his eyes like he had it all figured out. His palm still rubbing gentle circles across his friend’s wet back.
“Hell isn’t a suitable environment for the pet….” Kanai sniffled gently, unable to force logic away even in times like these.
“Kanai, all I know, is….we don’t have to go back, ever, no one can force us, well….they can force me…..” he rolled his eyes a bit at the fact his siblings could very well kidnap him and bring him back to dear ol dad. He tried not to consider it and just stay out of their ways. “But you? You were given the choice of freedom or ….whatever the fuck it is your dad was offering cause that wasn’t freedom…” shuddering, but he still took the other in a large long hug. His hand now cradling the back of Kanai’s head to his shoulder. Holding him.
“I don’t want to leave….I like it here, Donnie,” Kanai whimpered anxiously, his arms tightened around Al’s torso as he gave into the gesture.
“Then we won’t…we’ll stay, and Draeko can be annoyed by us for all eternity, sound good?” Rubbing the back of Kanai’s head, he ran his fingers through the soft slickened threads.
“Sounds good…sndDffF…we may have made an error by sitting out here like this Donnie, I feel very very cold,” he snuffled loudly trying to clear his leaking nose from the previous fit of sobs.
“Wanna go back home and force the pet the gobble our balls?” Al pulled back now with a large goofy grin, staring the other demon down expectantly.
“I wouldn’t put it like that,” Kanai couldn’t help but break into the smallest, SMALLEST, smile one would ever see.
“I would! Come on, let’s go,” Alistar now broke away from the other only to stand and extend his hand out to the hound, his eyes finally coming to a clearer state than they had been. Kanai took it and they both came to a stand, grabbing their things and making the horrible trek back as the rain poured down on them without mercy.
Alistar quickly unlocked the trunk and tossed everything in. “Okay let’s hurry the fuck up cause like, I hate this….” Squinted through the now heavy drops of rain, they both got in gear to get back inside the vehicle. Dripping and soaked they each looked at each other and then, laughed.
The two of them allowed the giggles to persist and eventually pass, Alistar shaking his head. “Maybe…..” Kanai started, straightening himself out. “Maybe we should get out of these horribly drenched clothes….and I promise to make sure the weather is adequate next visit, Donnie,” Kanai almost felt the urge to cry again, but he didn’t, instead he swallowed it back and maintained his composure.
“Next time, Draeko is fully in charge and not getting out of it….but you’re right, we should get the hell out of these clothes,” the red head made a scrunched face. “I can’t drive like this for an hour and some change….do we have anything dry?” Peering loosely around the vehicle to see if there was any spare clothing floating about.
“Just some blankets in the backseat but I believe the towels fell victim to the weather, Donnie,” Kanai responded, looking behind him into the backseat as well.
“That’s alright, wouldn’t be the first time you’ve seen me naked,” Alistar chuckled before turning back around and stripping the sticking material off his chest, Kanai following suit. They each sat there now in wet jeans and contemplated how they were even going to attempt to peel these off. Al looked over, and couldn’t help it, immediately noticed how beautiful Kanai looked under the gloomy sky, slick with rain and hairs sticking to his flattened face, and instead of cracking a joke he opened his mouth to say something sincere.
“You…..” Al started, and wasn’t sure how to continue. He was so used to being crass and blunt with his words, but with the display he’d seen earlier, he felt like he sometimes did with Draeko. Conscious. “Look really good when you’re all wet,” he scoffed, and Nai tilted his head.
“Are you hitting on me again, Donnie?” Raising a brow with a smirk to follow.
“Hm, I’m always hitting on you, but, genuinely I mean it this time bud, you just….look really good,” Kanai looked over at his best friend and searched his face for the punch line. Alistar wasn’t usually one to be sentimental, so he reached over and flicked the demon in his left hand nipple. The red head furrowed his brows and covered his chest now.
“Hey! You fuck, what gives???” Looking rather offended that they couldn’t enjoy such a tender moment together.
“Never change, Donnie….I prefer you as you are,” Kanai nodded, reminding the red head just who they were in the first place.
“Yeah? Fine,” Alistar smirked and leaned up against the door of his vehicle, he noticed as everyone started to flood out of the parking lot, not them though. Perfect timing. “Take off your fuckin pants,”
“Oh?” Kanai asked curiously, looking his friend up and down now for any other context clues.
“You heard me, take off your fucking pants, I know a way to get your mind refreshed,” already Alistar working the buttons of his own pants pulling them, roughly, down his body. It took a few extra seconds longer than it normally would, for them both to strip the wet material from their legs. Once Alistar freed himself he crawled over the center console and into Kanai’s lap, already reaching his blackened hand into the hound’s wet boxers. “Just relax,” Kanai’s breath caught in his throat when he felt Al’s cold hand on his cock.
“Fffff…your hands are freezing, Donnie,” shuddering slightly at the touch of the other’s icy finger tips.
“Warm em then,” Al grumbled from lazy lips as he pushed himself closer into the other hellion.
“I’m trying….” Kanai struggled through a clenched jaw. Alistar bit his lower lip watching his friend already turning to mush, working his hand to pump the other’s length from its once docile position, to standing at full attention.
“I kind of like that you’re all wet….” The red head purred, leaning closer to Kanai’s ear before giving it a solid lick, starting from the shell to the bottom of Kanai’s jaw, nipping the area tentatively.
“Hmmm…I suppose when everything is all wet, it makes for an easier time….” The hound chuckled breathlessly before their lips met in a frenzied kiss. Both of the demons losing themselves in their saturated desires of lust. The one thing they knew best. Tongues clashing, fighting for dominance, Kanai coming out the winner, before long Al was practically ripping himself out of his boxers. There were no words, just the echoing sounds of huffing, lip smacking and scuffling from their position in passenger seat.
Alistar taking control, reached down, and around, positioning Kanai’s thickened length at his awaiting hole, neither breaking their fevered kiss. His other arm came up and around Kanai’s neck, anchoring himself before slipping the length fully inside his ass, he broke the kiss. “Holy fucking hell…” whispering cursed words across the other’s mouth. It had been a while since he’d last let his friend inside, his fingers gripping Kanai’s shoulders tightly.
“Hnn…you feel extra tight this time, Donnie,” Kanai gasped with a sharp exhale as his cock adjusted to the tightening walls around him.
“Shut up….it’s been a minute okay…h-hAh~” Alistar grunted, his voice strained as he allowed the fullness to persuade his movements.
“F-feels so good….” The hound sighed. Alistar sat back, allowing the full length of Kanai’s cock slip inside him, rolling his reddened eyes back into his skull. He let out a fiendish moan. The hound’s hands now at the dragon’s hips before aiding in their movements. They each desperately began to rock, and thrust against one another. Alistar bouncing ontop of Kanai’s lap, he gripped at the back of the seat now, digging his sharp nails into the material, ripping it apart.
“Don’t stop….” Kanai warned, feeling a spark within his groin that only seemed to present itself with force, the more Al road him. The windows fogged over, the suspension rocked as their motions picked pace. Alistar now taking hold of his own twitching cock in his palm.
“Wouldn’t…..dream of it….” The red head managed to reply while working on milking himself as his friend’s rod pounded relentlessly inside of him. He could feel it snap into his sensitive prostate and the crimson eyed demon was suddenly seeing stars, spilling cum all over their already wet bodies. “Fuck….”
Kanai now took both hands, gripped each side of Alistar’s waist and threw himself deeply within the other’s cavern, pouring over his own seed that leaked down his cock as he tried to pull out. “Shhhhh…..” the hound hissed as his body convulsed and twitched from his orgasm. They both sat there, spent, trying to catch their breaths. “I-….think we made matters far worse, Al,”
“Yeah….now we are wet with rain….and cum…” The two of them pulled back enough to look down at their freshly stickied bodies.
“Yeah…” Kanai agreed, pulling his mouth to the side as he hummed in thought. How were they to drive home like this?
“Shit,” Alistar sighed through his nose, running a hand through his wet red locks.
“Yeah,” Kanai repeated himself again.
“Alright well let’s just use the blankets then,” the red head was out of ideas, and frankly, patience, he wanted to get back home and get dry. Note to himself from now on, keep an extra pair of dry clothes inside the vehicle at all times.
“Sounds unpleasant,” the hound admitted, looking at the other apprehensively.
“Well….it is what it is dude,” Alistar sighed pulling himself back into the driver’s seat, and reaching back for one of his backseat blankets, rubbing it over his moistened body. “See? Not so bad!” Lifting the blanket to expose that his body was now littered in small fuzzies. “Oh…Uncle Fucking Christ,” trying his best to pluck it all off but to no avail.
“Is this really my only option, Donnie?” Raising a brow, the hellion looked less than enthused to be covered in small balls of lint if it came down to that.
“It really is,” so Alistar and Kanai drove home, naked, covered in blanket fuzzies and it was going to certainly be a story to tell the pet when they returned.
The End
Author’s Notes: I can’t ever write something deep and emotional without it ending in SMUUUUTTTT 🤤🤤🤤 sorry not sorry anyway, hope you all enjoyed 💚
#oc#original character#writer#fic writer#AlxNai#Alistar Satanos#Kanai Orpheus#smut#lemons#feels#fluff#comfort
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On the topic of my trilogy, i just really wanted to share these reviews of the advanced copies i got back recent.
Responses to the work so far.
CataruToday at 10:42 PM
also dafuq is a hellion
because at first I thought hellion meant darkest dungeon, but then I see the rest of that post and...wat
Bismarck-Today at 1:55 AM
@RandomSpark I read the thing
I find it simultaneously horrifying and really interesting! It's a very interesting slice of a very strange and alien world
I think it's well written, but there are a few points that could use a look perhaps
Most of it would just be things a sober second look would change, imo, like leaving it for a night and coming back to read over it again
I find it's just inevitable with writing, but that may just be the fact that I almost always write very late at night when I'm tired lol
Also, I'll add that the brief interlude with the French Noblewoman is very Lovecraftian in feel!
And I mean that in a positive way, I don't mean to offend with a comparison, I just found it intriguing
A nice aside that builds more on the world and breaks up the existing narrative in a way that feels good
Glad to help!
Selaphine-Rose:
I liked it. Whether or not it's my "thing" remains to be seen, but this sort of...uhhhh...what's the word
It's so mechanically oriented, yet the concepts it refers to are so bizarre in the circumstance??? Like, the differences of meat and flesh as currency and also a functional object, juxtaposed against the reader's understanding that these are also parts of a human body?
It reminds me a lot of Inferno, which I'd rather fitting given what it is? But it's not just the location.
Forgive me for misremembering the details; take this as more of a made up example than as something directly from the book, but like
One of the punishments was something like
"The sinners struggle to stay above surface in a river of boiling blood, while centaurs shoot them with arrows if they try to climb out"
And it's just such a specific, mechanical way to describe it. The Italian brand of Catholicism at the time was basically like "no no, don't feel pity for anybody here, they deserve it, BUT this is all really bad so also be scared of it and repent!" So in spite of how specific all the horrible punishments are laid out to be, there's this almost unintentional lack of empathy? Or more like...the idea of sympathy for the damned is a totally bizzare, alien thing in the first place?
Bismarck-Today at 2:49 AM
That's a real interesting point
Selphin Rose-Today at 2:49 AM
And you nail that
The succubus is like "yea bro down here we rip off chunks of sinners from the Sin Trees™ and use them for currency and other things! So, gimme babies now or?"
And meanwhile there's this fucking tree covered in mutilated, writhing people??? Right? Did I misread that?
Yeah, fucking
It's a tree covered in corpses, tied to it by their own flaming sinew????
But it's almost like a video game? Where the visuals are only really meant to exist as flavor for the mechanics, and only carry their implicit meanings to the reader.
It doesn't tell you to feel bad for the Damned. It doesn't tell you to be disgusted by the economy, or the use of the Damned's bodies for external purposes. It doesn't tell you anything. Your response is your own, and given the very mechanical, but also normalized, tone of the writing? You're probably going to feel more empathy for the "sick or injured hellions" than the Damned. And if you don't, that's okay too. Your reaction to the piece doesn't change what it is.
So yeah, like, I think it's really fitting tbh.
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X of Swords in under 240 Characters
I reviewed the bulk of X of Swords (only the issues that had either or both Kate Pryde and Magik in it) on Twitter, and are are the reviews.
The only parts I did not review were :
3 Wolverine V7 6
10 X-Men V5 13
12 X-Men V5 14
18 Hellions 6
#XofSwords Pt 1CreationI'm going to read this event for the first timeStrong start, lots of set upEnds with the Ten Swords being named, Magik &…
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Hellions #10 Review
Hellions #10 Review #MARVEL #marvelcomics #comics #comicbooks #news #mcu #art #info #NCBD #comicbooknews #previews #reviews #xmen #hoxpox #houseofx #powersofx #dawnofx #marauders #hellions #wolverine #xforce #newmutants #xofswords #amazon
Writer: Zeb Wells
Art: Stephen Segovia, David Curiel, VC’s Ariana Maher, Tom Muller, and Rain Beredo
Publisher: Marvel Comics
Price:$3.99
Release Date: March 3rd, 2021
After retrieving new armor for Orphan-Maker and destroying Cameron Hodge’s A.I. Robots, our HELLIONS return to find out that Mister Sinister has been kidnapped. So, our team takes off to find their wonderfully dressed leader only…
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#comic books#comics#Excalibur#featured#Hellions#Hellions 10 Review#Hellions 10. Hellions#house of x#Marauders#marvel#marvel comic books#marvel comic previews#marvel comics#Marvel Previews#marvel reviews#powers of x#Previews#Reviews#uncanny x-men#X of Swords#X-Factor#x-force#x-men
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Hellions #10 Review
Hellions #10 Review #MARVEL #marvelcomics #comics #comicbooks #news #mcu #art #info #NCBD #comicbooknews #previews #reviews #xmen #hoxpox #houseofx #powersofx #dawnofx #marauders #hellions #wolverine #xforce #newmutants #xofswords #amazon
Writer: Zeb Wells
Art: Stephen Segovia, David Curiel, VC’s Ariana Maher, Tom Muller, and Rain Beredo
Publisher: Marvel Comics
Price:$3.99
Release Date: March 3rd, 2021
After retrieving new armor for Orphan-Maker and destroying Cameron Hodge’s A.I. Robots, our HELLIONS return to find out that Mister Sinister has been kidnapped. So, our team takes off to find their wonderfully dressed leader only…
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#comic books#comics#Excalibur#featured#Hellions#Hellions 10 Review#Hellions 10. Hellions#house of x#Marauders#marvel#marvel comic books#marvel comic previews#marvel comics#Marvel Previews#marvel reviews#powers of x#Previews#Reviews#uncanny x-men#X of Swords#X-Factor#x-force#x-men
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I posted 96 times in 2021
10 posts created (10%)
86 posts reblogged (90%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 8.6 posts.
I added 53 tags in 2021
#acotar - 13 posts
#tog - 7 posts
#jude duarte - 6 posts
#harry potter - 5 posts
#feyre archeron - 5 posts
#folk of the air - 4 posts
#rowan whitethorn - 4 posts
#rowaelin - 3 posts
#rhysand - 3 posts
#the cruel prince - 3 posts
Longest Tag: 72 characters
#when i tell you i ran to tumblr to make a joke about backdoor tomfoolery
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
Smut Intervention Needed
Had to confront that I'm reading too much smut today when I realized that reading the past tense of “to grind” as “grinded” instead of “ground” had become a pet peeve of mine.
As in, I am reading a volume of smut so overwhelming that the conjugation of verbs describing dry-humping is at the forefront of my critiquing mind.
Anyway, I’m not going to stop, but keep me in your prayers
22 notes • Posted 2021-05-12 02:10:58 GMT
#4
Why did nobody have more to say about Rhys going absolutely fucking feral during the 3rd task in ACOTAR? Like, he was NOT being causal lol. Full on screaming Feyre’s name and attacking Amarantha even though there was clearly nothing he could do. All of the High Lords saw that and there wasn’t ANY gossip floating around? No raised eyebrows about the brutal, vicious High Lord of the Night Court clearly caring, not for the outcome of the trial, but for the life of this mortal woman?? Tamlin wasn’t jealous? Didn’t immediately start drilling Feyre for information about their relationship under the mountain? Hellion didn’t immediately realize what was going on and make it his personal goal to stir up drama for his work bestie? Seems weird, but ok. If I had been down there, I would be starting some absolutely salacious rumors. Because I love the drama
48 notes • Posted 2021-05-02 16:38:47 GMT
#3
Full offense, but the whole Nesta seducing the world through ballroom dance thing was one of the cringiest things I’ve ever read in my entire life. Really transported me to 2005 era self-insert fanfiction. The anecdote Elain told about the duke was bad enough but then the Court of Nightmares scene??? The proposal???? 🤢
Oof.
53 notes • Posted 2021-05-05 20:39:33 GMT
#2
Posts about Cruel Prince are such a nice change of pace from other spicy book fandoms (cough cough ACOTAR) bc everyone seems ok with the idea that there are no perfectly good characters and most bad characters have dimension. Hot bitches appreciate nuance.
100 notes • Posted 2021-05-02 15:51:28 GMT
#1
Dialogue Directly From Ch 45 of Heir of Fire
Aelin: Yeah, you're my centuries-old fae mentor and I'm getting over a breakup, but I'd fuck you if you asked
Rowan: What?
Aelin: What?
Valg Prince Hiding Behind Tree: She said she'd fuck you if you asked
380 notes • Posted 2021-05-10 20:39:13 GMT
Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →
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Marvelvsmarvel Year In Review Pt III:
Must Read Comic Series: Dawn of X
Dawn of X is the latest X-Men run by Jonathan Hickman that launched October of last year with Howers of X. The image above is my favorite page of the entire series and is the very first page of Powers of X Issue 1. It currently has 10 main titles and just wrapped up its major event X of Swords. This series is easily one of the best things to come out of this year and it only promises to get better with the Reign of X on the horizon. In reviewing it I wanted to share a few of my favorite images and moments and share in my excitement on what is to come. I wasn’t always an avid comic book reader but my passion for Marvel movies and shows made eager for more. I didn’t know where to start and a friend simply said to pick one and go! I actually started with Matthew Rosenberg’s Uncanny X-Men (2019) and that carried me into this. If you have not gotten into the comics and have any interest rose do so I am telling you to get into Dawn of X. The X-Men have isolated themselves in a pursuit of becoming their own sovereign and unified nation on the living mutant island Krakoa. In doing so they have freely given gifts to human nations that willing recognize them as so while putting an economical stranglehold on the nations that won’t. As if this were enough with mutant kind united by this vision they have found a way to face death without fear. Brace yourself that these might be spoilery but consider them teasers of the greater story!
Favorite Dialogue: Apocalyspe (X-Men Issue 4) Ancient, powerful, evil, and Darwinistic am I right? Wrong! There is so much more to Apocalypse than we previously knew and yet all those descriptions remain true but clearly in a most badass way possible! What caused the end of the Bronze Age?! ME!!! Fucking Apocalypse taking names without even looking up from his plate! But again this historical context is just the surface of this mutant god’s being. The depth of his person runs as deep as his life has been long lived.
Favorite Illustration: Hellfire Bay (Marauders Issue #2) I am beyond glad that they included the Hellfire Club! The mysterious mutant Illuminati gets the opportunity to operate out of the shadows and onto the Quiet Council of the sovereign nation of Krakoa although every good deed in light casts a shadowy deed of its own. But if there was a thing they visually got about the Hellfire Club it is that they are elitists. There are not many scenic views of Krakoa but they definitely accomplished something here with these castles for the three figureheads.
Favorite Monologue: Cyclops (Excalibur Issue 15) Call me old fashion but I love a great hero speech! It finally seems that Cyclops is at peace and that is indicative of the state of mutant kind. Even while not taking the leadership role on the Quiet Council Cyclop remains a hero at his core. Krakoa trying to build itself as a nation trying to convince themselves as well as the world that they are good and they will not fail in this. With threats coming from all side Cyclops steps in to be the hero he’s meant to be nothing more and nothing less.
Favorite Protagonist: Kwannon (Hellions Issue 7) This isn’t Psylocke and it isn’t Betsy Braddock. Kwannon was once a tool of the hand and was again just a vessel for Betsy. Today she is much more from the leader of the Fallen Angels (essentially her own title) and now leader of the Hellions and man does she kick ass! What she is mostly however is a mother and with that there is much more we have yet to learn about her.
Favorite Antagonist: White Sword of the Ivory Spire (X of Swords: Stasis Issue 1) Antagonist meaning he opposed the protagonists but he clearly is no friend to the main villains either. White Sword is obviously someone you don’t want to mess with. Only time will tell if we will get more of what we see of him.
Favorite Scene: Ressurection of Melody Guthrie aka Aero (X-Men Issue 7) I know right. Who the hell is Melody Guthrie. Yes she is Sam Guthrie aka Cannonball’s sister and yes she had no powers prior to this moment due to the events of House of M. But this scene depicted by 4 panels of dark, to light, to the towering figures of leadership, to life, to the harolding defeat over death is so eerie, so chilling yet so damn epic! This moment is a moment I hope to see come to life on the big screen! A blacked out picture then BOOM a crescendo of heavenly cries as Aero bursts through the egg. The bass hums deep panning over the faces of these three. BOOM another crescendo as she writhes and fights and wills herself back to coherence as the voices lift then fade to a whisper and tears start to pour in realization of her fate. Then holding still on Storm’s face she declares...
Ultimately that is why I geek out over this. Yes it is an amazing story in and of itself. But it is also so epic and cinematic and truly different than any X-Men series that has come before it that I honestly believe that with Disney claiming the ownership of the X-Men from Fox that this will be the version that will be introduced in the MCU. Play close attention to the way Hickman lays out how this started and you’ll see how the MCU can do it without having to explain where they’ve been this whole time. Again this is a must read even if you just read one of the individual titles. And remember to look out for Reign of X dropping early next year!
#marvel#mcu#marvel cinematic universe#marvel studios#marvel comics#must read#xmen#x men#dawn of x#house of x#powers of x#x of swords#empyre#excalibur#xforce#x force#marauders#fallen angels#new mutants#wolverine#cable#hellions#x factor#hellfire club#krakoa#apocalypse#kwannon#cyclops#marvelvsmarvel#year in review
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ok my reviews for this week’s books are:
new mutants: 3/10
wolverine: 1/10
hellions: 8/10 (i am seriously loving hellions its the one dox book i really look forward to)
4x: 2/10
empyre x-men: 2/10 (meh it has the typical krakoa problem of not fully utilizing its history or setting or characters. which is SO disappointing considering this setting in particular)
empyre: emperor hulkling: 8/10 (YA stans u will eat well this is cute)
empyre #2: 9/10. im fucking LOVING empyre its so well done
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4 Good Use A Starcraft 2 Multiplayer Guide
One of the most interesting uses of beeswax is manufacture PRP. NASA technology turns beeswax into extremely small hollow spheres known as PRP (Petroleum Remedial Product). This device is a very fine powder that when spread on an oil spill absorbs 20 times its weight in fuel. It holds the oil however it floats, thus keeping the oil out of the bottom belonging to the ocean or its estuaries. As a serendipity bonus, the wax provides food for and acts as a stimulus for indigenous microbes that consume the oil.
This had effectively doubled the regarding military in Afghanistan when Bush left office. So currently, Mr Obama could have 98,000 troops in the Afghanistan/Pakistan nation.
Imagine that statement alone for one second. Simply want on a daily basis to pass. You are asking to acquire a piece of your life to completely disappear without doing anything fun or positive inside tomorrow. I promise that when asked anyone on their death bed, aren't you glad should do is decide wished those times would just disappear, the answer would be an emphatic NO.
Drone Any. 11 - spawning pool. Replace this Drone Xtreme HD 720Pro just as soon as you're for you to 10, make an overlord. Once the pool is completed, create 6 zerglings and your queen.
Some people say might allergic to bees merely because they turn red, itch and swell. Everyone does! Many who have built up an immunity do not swell and itch. Using the end of this season, I not turn red or swell now. But after the winter is over, I swell, itch and turn red where I am stung until my immunity is replaced. The swelling can adventure. If stung on the arm, the swelling usually travels several inches in a single direction against the sting meaning. This is a normal reaction. The itching will stop, after three days the swelling will tossing the second go down. It can take upto one week for the swelling turn out to be completely gone to. This does NOT mean you possess a life threatening allergic reply to honey bees. It means your body reacted in a normal method to the bee venom.
Companies empower positive thinking grow. People who allow "We can't" to become part along with accepted corporate vocabulary don't experience high-velocity growth.
Then attach a Reactor around Factory once it is complete for Drone Xtreme HD Review twice the Hellion assembly. If you want you can build the Reactor for that Barracks following switch with the Factory and make the Tech Lab while on the Barracks. The Zerg player will most likely expand quickly so you need to get some Hellions in order to harass their workers and kite the Zerglings.
Now fill you mouth full of air. Practice spitting this air in a long thin stream having a target about 1 meter away, factor as you done an issue water.
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War of the Spark Commander Set Review
The Commanders of War of the Spark
In white, there’s not too many ways to build around her. Once you exhaust the suite of self-bouncing creatures you commonly see in Karametra lists (e.g., Kor Skyfisher, Whitemane Lion), the next best cards to run are cheap utility creatures like Stoneforge, Weathered Wayfarer, etc.-- essentially goodstuff.
It’s notable that this card could be very good as part of the 99 in Karametra and Ephara lists. Also, it’s a double striker with a big butt for Doran lists.
I’m not a big fan of commanders that solely care about what your opponents are doing because they don’t give your own deck a lot of direction. If you’ve got a Lord Windgrace deck in your meta, then this might be useful in the 99 of hatebear decks that are good at finding their silver bullets.
The best piece of tech for Fblthp is Proteus Staff. If you run a creatureless Fblthp list, you get to stack your entire deck and then immediately draw two cards, which is great for assembling combos, such as Isochron Scepter + Dramatic Reversal. If you have mana rocks that produce three or more mana, Scepter + Reversal will give you infinite mana and then infinite activations of Proteus Staff so you can draw your deck and find a win condition.
Nexus of Fate is another solid combo piece to stack on top of your deck with Fblthp, as you can keep stacking it to the top with Proteus Staff and Fblthp, provided you have the 10 mana required to do so every turn.
I’m a little skeptical that this strategy is going to be significantly stronger than what was already possible in any Commander deck with access to Proteus Staff. Like, if you’re already in Blue, you’re not going to be starved for card draw, and you could be running a different commander that provides additional benefits (or additional colors) instead of an effect that your color identity could easily do anyway.
Seems like a very strong commander for extra turn effects. As long as you can keep Scroll Racking your Time Warps to the top of your library, you get infinite turns; even if you have to rely on one-shot effects like Brainstorm or whatever, you’ll still be taking a lot of extra turns, which will hopefully be enough for your 4-power evasive commander to eliminate some threats.
This deck naturally runs a ton of sac fodder; Bloodghast, Reassembling Skeleton, and Bloodsoaked Champion are all good here. You may also want to run some efficient token generation, as well. I also think it’s a good idea to run some of Black’s strong sac outlets like Attrition and Mind Slash so that you have the option to control your opponents with your sac fodder instead of just exchanging them for random cards via Bontu’s ETB. These sac outlets can also help you more easily reuse Bontu’s ETB trigger, especially if you sacrifice her in response to the trigger so you’ll immediately redraw her.
The most unique thing about this commander is the ability to sacrifice noncreature permanents. This opens up cards like Ugin’s Nexus and Spine of Ish Sah, which get you value when they die.
One interesting idea I’ve heard was to run Endless Whispers with her so that you get all your opponents’ creatures that die to her ETB trigger. Blink effects seem good here and I’d think about running stuff like Undying Evil, Kaya’s Ghostform, Abnormal Endurance, and Supernatural Stamina to both protect her from removal and reuse her trigger.
It may also be a good idea to run random sac fodder to ensure the ball gets rolling; it’d be a shame if the massacre never got started because the board was full of 2+ toughness creatures.
Sample Decklist
Similar to a regular Krenko, Mob Boss deck, but with power-pumping effects in place of the activated ability synergies and some of the token generation.
With Krenko, it was important to be able to get a ton of dudes onto the battlefield early to maximize his gobbo-doubling power. Krenko 2.0 doesn’t need random gobbo bodies unless they do something useful.
Sample Decklist
Neheb is kind of a sidegrade from his previous incarnation. The card filtering makes it so that you’re not quite as likely to run out of gas, but the fact that his mana generation is limited by the number of cards you discard to his trigger prevents some of the truly absurd plays that Neheb 2.0 was known for-- you’re not going to be hardcasting Eldrazi and Blighsteels nearly as often in this deck.
Extra combat step effects are very good here, as they can potentially net you mana and they give you another chance to rummage for good cards. I like that this deck can run situational cards like Ruination and Blood Moon because there’s no such thing as a dead draw in this list-- Neheb hungers for bad cards to discard.
Mass land destruction is great in this deck because, like the first Neheb, the Champion can provide the mana you need to cast your stuff.
The single best card in this deck is Aggravated Assault, which goes infinite with your commander, provided you have five or more cards in hand that you can discard-- just make sure you’ve got one of the original three legendary Eldrazi so you can shuffle your graveyard back in and prevent yourself from milling out.
I wish there were more good madness cards in Red, or in Commander in general. Neheb 3.0 is the perfect commander for madness since he provides both an outlet and mana to cast stuff, but the only madness cards worth running are like Fiery Temper and maaaaybe Avacyn’s Judgment.
Sample Decklist
This seems like an awesome reward for running fat donks like Blightsteel and Malignus.
Although he doesn’t play nicely with attack triggers, you’re on color for some sweet combat damage triggers like Balefire Dragon, Hellkite Tyrant, Dream Pillager, Rapacious One, Neheb 2.0, Steel Hellkite, and Mordant Dragon. Neheb, the Eternal, while not a combat damage trigger, also works pretty well with Ilharg.
Ilharg has some synergy with echo, since you’ll never have to pay the upkeep cost, so cards like Volcano Hellion and Crater Hellion are much better in this list than they normally are.
Having six toughness and an ability that lets you cheat mana costs means that Wildfire and Destructive Force are very good here, as is mass land destruction in general. Keldon Firebombers seems like a great way to repeatedly limit your opponents’ mana.
In addition to the usual suite of mana accelerants and haste granters, Generator Servant is quite good here, and I’d consider running Seething Song, as well.
Sample Decklist
The creatures that benefit most from Rhonas’s ETB trigger are win conditions in their own right; you don’t need to rely on your commander to make canned armies like Rampaging Baloths, Titania, and Avenger of Zendikar into threats.
Maybe this wants to be an infect deck, since doubling the power of cards like Phyrexian Juggernaut and Phyrexian Hydra makes them one-hit KOs.
Muscle Mutt is just a voltron deck, albeit one that uses an unusual subset of cards. I wouldn’t run most cards that solely put counters on Mowu, but I like cards that put counters on him while generating cards, like Ordeal of Nylea, Ancient Animus, or Implement of Ferocity. I also like some of the repeatable counter-generating effects; Retreat to Kazandu, Armory of Iroas, and Invigorating Boon (cards with cycling) seem good. There are also some lands that can get counters on your commander, such as Oran-Rief, the Vastwood; Forge of Heroes; and Opal Palace. Also, don’t forget your Hardened Scales!
There’s been a little bit of controversy about Yanggu and Mowu lately because Yanggu is able to bring Mowu with his when he planeswalks (which is supposed to be impossible, as Huatli’s tamales illustrate; normally, creatures are summoned to a plane). It would be weird if Yanggu could only do this with Mowu, but my headcanon is that Mowu is able to do it with anyone but has so far only attempted it with his dog (or that if he had previously done it, he forgot about it when he came down with amnesia).
I don’t think it’s worth running random wolves as sorcery-speed kill spells, but I might run wolves that get me value in addition to fighting (e.g., Rot Wolf, Skalla Wolf, Pack Guardian). Wolfir Silverheart is too monstrously large to leave out of this deck.
I’d also run repeatable wolf token generators like Sword of Body and Mind, Wolfcaller’s Howl, Master of the Wild Hunt, Kessig Cagebreakers, and Feed the Pack. You can also run some of the wolf token generators that create a bunch at once (such as Howl of the Night Pack, Predator’s Howl, and Wolfbriar Elemental) to build your own Ezuri’s Predation.
I gotta say that it’s very cute that they gave Voja a title so that he wouldn’t legend rule the tokens made by the old Tolsimir.
We all know that BG has a lot of good creatures that are worth recurring (putting your opponents under the Abyss with Fleshbag variants sounds like a barrel of laughs), but it also has a ton of good planeswalkers, especially when you don’t have to care too much about protecting them. Firing off a Sorin Markov or a Vraska 1.0, letting your opponents dogpile on it, and then getting it back again next turn seems like a great way to control the board and divert aggro away from your face.
I would try to fit in some ways to give your commander haste (Greaves, Hall of the Bandit Lord) and protect him (Yavimaya Hollow) since he’s the engine your deck revolves around.
This guy checks some boxes to make use of mana dorks that are too narrow for most decks: he costs four, he’s got 4+ power for Whisperer of the Wilds, and he’s an Elf for Priest of Titania.
This card does not appear to be designed with Commander in mind. Death triggers don’t work very well in this format, especially when you don’t have access to black and white reanimation engines. If you discount the proliferate (as you should), all that’s left is a pile of stats, which has never been particularly strong in Commander.
If this guy was just ETB double proliferate, he would have been waaay more interesting.
I’ve heard about lists that use clones to farm his death and ETB triggers, but I tried it and it was not… great… Proliferating before you add the new counters is pretty lame, and one-shot proliferation without cards attached to it is not worth a card slot, IMO.
The best Boros commander ever, and it’s not close. This deck draws tons of cards thanks to white and red’s many cheap cantrips, it can protect its commander pretty easily thanks to the million 1CMC instants that give things protection or indestructible, and it has some great combo pieces like Aurelia’s Fury and Blinding Beam to allow you to soft lock your opponents.
Plus, if you’d prefer to eschew the controlling playstyle for something more aggressive, you can run a bunch of Fists of the Anvil and Double Cleave variants to beat the hell out of your opponents.
Sample Decklist
This card just encourages you to run the most powerful multicolored cards, which tend to be hyper-efficient removal spells like Assassin’s Trophy and Anguished Unmaking. The only non-goodstuff cards in the list are a handful of blink spells so you can dodge removal and refill your hand. As far as win conditions go, turning Niv sideways seems to be the best one; Civic Saber, Conqueror’s Flail, and Duelist’s Heritage will cut your clock in half.
Sample Decklist
Card Ratings
In this set review, I’ll be using two five-point rating scales to evaluate the nonlegendary cards, one that measures how many decks a card is playable in (we’ll call that “spread”), and one that measures how powerful it is in those decks (”power”). Here’s a brief rundown of what each rank on the two scales means:
Spread
1: This card is effective in one or two decks, but no more (ex: The Gitrog Monster).
2: This card is effective in one deck archetype (ex: self-mill decks).
3: A lot of decks will be able to use this card effectively (ex: decks with graveyard interactions).
4: This card is effective in most decks in this color.
5: Every deck in this color is able to use this card effectively.
Power
1: This card is always going to be on the chopping block.
2: This card is unlikely to consistently perform well.
3: This card provides good utility but is not a powerhouse.
4: This card is good enough to push you ahead of your opponents.
5: This card has a huge impact on the game.
The Planeswalkers of War of the Spark
Spread: 1
Power: 2
I could imagine running this in Odric, Lunarch Marshal, since it’s a cheap way to give all your guys indestructible and lifelink or vigilance. Otherwise, it’s not worth your time.
Spread: 1
Power: 2
Might see a little play in Arcades as a way to produce a pair of beaters and draw a couple cards. It’s nice that you can curve Teyo into Arcades to frontload the mana cost but wait to produce your tokens and get your cards until after your commander comes down. The rate is not insane, though, and I could see this getting cut for a better stats-to-cost ratio in the future.
Spread: 1
Power: 4
This is solely for self-mill decks. It’s less vulnerable to removal than Laboratory Maniac but you can’t get it back with Dread Return or something similar if you mill yourself out. Either way, both Jace and Lab Man are worse than Nexus of Fate.
Spread: 1
Power: 4
I could see running this in a deck with a lot of wheel effects (Nekusar and The Locust God being the obvious ones) to act as a Leovold, making your opponents discard their hands and only drawing one card to replace it.
Spread: 3
Power: 3
Liliana is a bit expensive, but she might have potential in the few decks that can make use of more than one of her abilities. For example, sacrifice-oriented decks are interested in black token generation and getting value when your creatures die, so both her static effect and +1 will be useful there. Also, it’s worth noting that although planeswalkers are generally pretty fragile in Commander, Liliana makes a chump blocker and she’s going to have 7 loyalty when you pass the turn, which can be difficult for your opponents to beat though, especially if you’ve got Savra, Queen of the Golgari or Teysa, Orzhov Scion to control their boards.
Spread: 4
Power: 1
This card is really similar to Chandra, Pyromaster, and that card sees almost no play.
Spread: 1
Power: 2
For the purposes of the Ur-Dragon, it’s two dragons for the price of one and it can potentially deter attacks. I don’t think there’s anyone else that’s really interested in this, though.
Spread: 2
Power: 2
He’s a second copy of Rishkar for green +1/+1 counter decks.
Spread: 3
Power: 3
Omnath, Locus of Mana seems like a natural home for this card. It’s kind of cool that it’s effectively three mana since you can untap a Forest with the +1, but this card is still worse than Vernal Bloom in most ways. Vernal Bloom gets you to the game-winning threshold for mana a lot quicker; you don’t need more than 8 or 9 mana to win a game of Commander so what really matters is hitting that game-winning threshold as early as possible. Casting a turn four Bloom into a turn 5 Tooth and Nail is much stronger than casting a turn 5 Nissa into a turn 6 T&N, especially when you consider the fact that your Vernal Bloom can’t be attacked or Bolted in the intervening turn.
That being said, this is still a powerful card for monogreen ramp.
Spread: 3
Power: 2
I like the surprise factor of the -2; it’s cool that they’re finding ways to improve on abilities we’ve seen a thousand times already. Anyway, this card is not good. If you want two random cards out of your deck, you can get it at a better rate than this.
Spread: 2
Power: 2
Overall, this card feels very intro pack-y. The plus ability doesn’t affect the board, the -3 is a pretty bad rate, and the ultimate is not very impactful. This doesn’t seem like a great reason to buy a box (unless the price ends up being super high).
Spread: 4
Power: 2
Every element of this card can be done much better somewhere else in these colors. There is something to be said for the power of choices, but I really don’t think this card is good enough to see play.
Spread: 2
Power: 2
This card looks a lot like Ajani Goldmane, although it’s much better in superfriends decks than Goldmane ever was. It’s also worth noting that Ajani will probably draw less aggro than whatever busted planeswalker you’re bumping up, so he’s less fragile than he looks. However, I still think this effect is not worth a card. There are some solid repeatable proliferators in WAR, and I’d much rather use them than rely on a card type that can get attacked to death.
Spread: 3
Power: 1
I really like CMC-based reanimation and I’d really like to see it on a WB commander one day. Anyway, since you’re on color for both white and black reanimation you can do way better than this. If your deck is trying to recur a lot of weenies you can run Return to the Ranks or Dusk/Dawn, and if you want to get back one big thing, you can run Animate Dead or Reanimate or Necromancy or whatever.
Spread: 1
Power: 2
With a little tweaking, this could be an interesting commander, as it rewards you for playing with a subset of cards that normally doesn’t get played in Commander. In the main deck, however, this card seems pretty underwhelming. Even in lists that naturally have a ton of deathtouchers such as Hapatra, this is a pretty slow, small, and fragile anthem. If she had some way to gain loyalty, the -2 could help the card find its way into decks looking for sac fodder, but two tokens over two turns for four mana is not going to turn a lot of heads.
Spread: 1
Power: 3
There’s currently no UG commander that really rewards lots of large dudes, but I’m hopeful we might see something in the future (maybe a Simic or Temur Divine Visitation effect on a commander?).
Between Kiora, Temur Ascendancy, Garruk's Packleader, Kavu Lair, and Elemental Bond, we are getting very close to a critical mass of this type of card.
Spread: 1
Power: 4
Maybe if you’re running a deck with a ton of Twincast variants, this could serve as a potential win condition/storm enabler. For those of you who aren’t familiar with the combo, you cast a Fork variant copying any spell, then cast another Fork variant copying the original Fork variant. The second Fork resolves, putting a new copy of Fork #1 on the stack, which can then target the original Fork #1. Keep going through this loop and netting Ral triggers until your opponents are dead.
Spread: 2
Power: 3
Young Pyromancer sees play in 6400 decks on EDHREC, many of them in Izzet color identities. I think Saheeli slots into those same lists pretty easily, especially given the potential power offered by her -2 when copying mana rocks or utility creatures.
Spread: 2
Power: 3
What a brutal mana cost. I’d run this in superfriends since it’s almost a planeswalker clone and killing creatures/drawing cards is not terrible in that deck. I think that mana cost and the general meh-ness of PWs in Commander keep him out of most other decks.
Spread: 5
Power: 0 (no sideboards) / 4 (sideboards)
The playability of this guy hinges on whether your playgroup allows you to get cards from outside of the game. The Rules Committee’s stance is that sideboards are not officially supported and have to be house ruled into the format. If your playgroup follows that bit of dogma and Karn can only search your exile zone, then he’s not really worth playing; Null Rod only sees play in the most cutthroat cEDH lists, and while Karn only affects your opponents, I think that’s more than offset by the fact that he costs 4 and can get attacked to death.
Now, if your playgroup DOES let you have a sideboard or just dig through your binder or whatever, Mycosynth Lattice is one of the best things it can do, as it shuts off your opponents’ lands and all of their activated abilities in combination with Karn. Paradox Engine and Bolas’s Citadel are strong cards that don’t require much set up, but if you’re trying to combo off with those cards, you’d probably rather have them in your maindeck, rather than only accessible via a planeswalker. There are some neat artifact combos that you can search for both halves of if you can ensure that Karn lives long enough to activate twice: Basalt Monolith and Rings of Brighthearth gets you infinite mana (although again, these cards may be better in your maindeck), and if Painter’s Servant ever gets unbanned, you can use Karn to grab it and Grindstone to mill your opponents out one by one.
Spread: 3
Power: 3
Now, this guy is a Commander-playable planeswalker. I’d run this in any deck currently running Scour from Existence (barring Mizzix), which mostly means colorless, monoblack, and monored decks. The +1 is also solid, offering sacrifice fodder that is likely to be pretty useful in many of the monoblack decks that run it, and colorless cost reduction makes it even more powerful in the colorless decks that run it. I’m a big fan of this card, and I like that it disproportionately helps color identities that were on the weaker side.
It’s great that he’s rare, since I plan on picking up a bunch of these.
Maindeck Cards from War of the Spark
Spread: 3
Power: 3
At low numbers, the ratio of bodies to cost is not great. There are so many good white token generators that I doubt this makes the cut, even though the tokens are better than the ones produced by most of its competitors. Also, you should treat the “10 or more” text on this card like a planeswalker’s ultimate and ignore it.
Spread: 2
Power: 2
Seems very good in a Mikaeus, the Lunarch deck and in planeswalker decks that don’t invest heavily in mass removal. It stinks that White got the worst experience counter commanders and never got a poison commander because this card has so much potential, but the support isn’t there.
Spread: 2
Power: 2
This is a lot of mana for a narrow tutor. When you consider the fact that most Superfriends lists are already running Black and have access to cheap unconditional tutors, the Beacon becomes much less appealing.
Spread: 1
Power: 1
It does make a lot of Angels for your Lyra Dawnbringer deck. It’s not worth 8 mana, though.
Spread: 4
Power: 2
Hating on multicolor permanents is not that great. Although most commanders are multicolor, most main deck permanents are one or fewer colors. To put this card in perspective, Radiant Purge sees almost no play in Commander.
Spread: 3
Power: 2
I think Diving Reckoning is a fair point of comparison for this card. Divine Reckoning sees a fair amount of play; it’s in almost 6000 decks on EDHREC, most of them Voltron. While Single Combat has a few knobs that distinguish it from Reckoning, it’s probably a safe bet that it’ll see similar amounts of play in similar lists.
That being said, I’m not a huge fan of this card. It guarantees that the biggest threats survive and most of the time I’d rather take out the scariest things on my opponents’ side of the field than protect my own things.
Spread: 1
Power: 2
Varina is very interested in making multiple Zombie bodies for less than three mana. I’m gonna save a little space in a very long set review and suggest you apply the previous sentence and ratings to every Amass creature and most Amass spells that cost less than four mana.
Spread: 3
Power: 2
I like this card a lot. I think it’s much stronger than Steady Progress, and about on the power level of Tezzeret’s Gambit, which sees play in 8500 decks on EDHREC.
Spread: 2
Power: 3
Kruphix is very interested in outlets for the absurd amounts of mana he produces, and unlike almost any other commander, he can realistically hit the “10 or more” mode.
Mizzix likes X spells that generate value, so she might also be in the market for this card.
Spread: 2
Power: 3
This card could see play in planeswalker decks as another Inexorable Tide. This could also potentially see play in Mizzix decks as an additional way to bump up your experience count or in Noyan Dar as a way to grow your manlands.
Spread: 2
Power: 2
The additional mana relative to Thrummingbird hurts, and this also misses on some of the bird tribal lists (Kangee) that were interested in that card. Still, I could imagine running this in Atraxa, Ezuri 2.0, and Vorel.
Spread: 1
Power: 3
It’s a cheap Sphinx for Unesh, and it can bounce another Sphinx to your hand so you can get another trigger.
Spread: 2
Power: 3
Unfortunate that it can only target your own creatures and planeswalkers, but it seems strong in superfriends decks and simic +1/+1 counter lists. It’s also quite good in Estrid, Teferi, Temporal Archmage, and Saheeli, the Gifted, since all of those commanders have mana-generating abilities that make the Double free or cheap to cast.
There are also a ton of commanders that this can break wide open. Double Reaper King, double Atraxa, double Zndrsplt… if you’re in Blue and you’re running Helm of the Host, this card seems like a big upgrade.
Spread: 3
Power: 5
This is the new Paradox Engine. If your deck has a lot of card selection and tutors then this ought to be able to win the game all by itself. Some of the better interactions:
Circu, Dimir Lobotomist: This guy was kind of a joke before Citadel got spoiled. His mill effect is really weak and he’s in the bottom half of all Dimir commanders when it comes to popularity. However, he works pretty well with the Citadel because he can mill off excess lands from the top of your library so that you’re less likely to fizzle when comboing off.
Sensei’s Divining Top: Turns the Citadel into a Yawgmoth’s Bargain (thanks to @snarwin for pointing this out).
Mana Severance: Gets rid of all the lands so you won’t fizzle.
Aetherflux Reservoir: Subsidizes the Citadel’s life payments and eventually serves as your win condition.
Spread: 3
Power: 4
It’s interesting that this and Bolas’s Citadel showed up in the same set, since they’re both six mana black rares that offer insane card advantage and mana savings at the cost of a ton of life.
Anyway, I’ve heard people talking about using this in Oloro and other decks that gain life very easily. It could also be good in decks with very low curves so that you’re getting more cards for the life you’re paying.
Interestingly, it deals damage to you rather than makes you lose life, which means that you can prevent the damage, give yourself protection, or give the spell lifelink in order to cheat the life cost.
Spread: 3
Power: 3
The ability to get back noncreature cards is pretty rare in black, and if your deck has a lot of redundancy built into it you can sometimes remove your opponents’ ability to screw you. Plus, there’s a lot to be said for making deals with the opponent in the weakest position to get back the cards that will knock someone else down a peg.
Spread: 2
Power: 2
It provides a steady stream of Skullclamp-compliant sac fodder for decks that need it, as well as a self-recurring threat for Varina Zombie tribal lists.
Spread: 4
Power: 3
This card seems like great value for mopping up small utility creatures. 4 mana to kill some combination of Oracle of Mul Daya, Fauna Shaman, Tymna, Edric, Mentor of the Meek, etc. seems pretty strong. I think the easiest point of comparison is probably Black Sun’s Zenith. Black Sun’s sees play in over 15,000 decks, and it’ll cost you the same amount of mana to kill the same creatures. This one is asymmetrical but won’t get the random collateral damage against your opponents’ other creatures. I think they’re about on the same power level, although it’s worth noting that you could conceivably hit the 12 mana in a monoblack deck with Coffers and a bunch of ways to find it.
Spread: 1
Power: 1
This guy requires you to jump through a ton of hoops. In order for him to do his thing, you have to have:
A way to give him haste and/or a way to protect him until your next turn.
A high density of instants and sorceries
Either an extremely low curve on those instants and sorceries or a way to buff the Arcanist’s power.
I can think of commanders that fulfill some of those requirements, but not all of them.
Spread: 2
Power: 3
X spells are great in Mizzix and she has a ton of great targets to choose from. Seems like an easy inclusion in that list. It could also be good in Zada as a way to re-use your token-generating spells and cantrips.
Neheb, the Eternal is one of the few commanders who can reliably get X to 10 or higher, since that deck is desperate for good mana sinks and it runs a fair number of strong instants and sorceries.
Spread: 2
Power: 3
This card is awesome. Great in Hapatra decks as a way to get a bunch of Hapatra triggers at once and accelerate the death of your opponents’ dudes. Also seems solid in Thelon of Havenwood for spreading spores, nabbing experience with Meren and Ezuri 2.0, pumping the team in Mazirek, and of course, building loyalty among your planeswalkers.
Spread: 4
Power: 4
I don’t think we needed more cards like this, but whatever. The rich get richer. Other cards in Green that accomplish the same thing:
Tooth and Nail
Green Sun’s Zenith
Survival of the Fittest
Finale of Devastation
Chord of Calling
Worldly Tutor
Natural Order
Fauna Shaman
Note that all of the above are Commander staples.
Spread: 1
Power: 2
Useful in Sasaya as a way to get more Forests in hand. Also a solid upgrade over Sylvan Scrying in a Nissa, Vastwood Seer deck.
Spread: 2
Power: 2
Unfortunately, none of the Green planeswalkers that you can run as your commander have insane ultimates, so I don’t think it’s worth running in those decks as a means to pop em off really quickly.
It is, however, a slightly more expensive Deepglow Skate for Atraxa, Ezuri 2.0, Vorel, Pir & Toothy, and all those other blue/green counter-based decks.
Spread: 4
Power: 2
Over 7500 decks on EDHREC run Naturalize, and this is strictly better, even if it’s not a huge upgrade.
Spread: 2
Power: 1
This card suffers from the Immortal Sun effect, where it does several things, but none of them particularly well. +2/+2 isn’t a huge boost for a one-shot effect, and the lack of trample is frustrating. Also, I don’t like that this card is really bad at punishing pillowfort, since their artifacts and enchantments are what’s preventing you from getting it.
If you’re in need of artifact destruction, you’re probably better off running a tutor to find your Bane of Progress. If you’re in need of an Overrun effect, you’re better off running a tutor to find your Craterhoof Behemoth. Might I suggest Finale of Devastation?
Spread: 1
Power: 2
I really don’t like the idea of pumping mana into this in the hopes of getting something relevant. However, I do like running it in decks that can manipulate their top card (Hua Tuo, Honored Physician comes to mind) and in decks that just like its type line and don’t actually care what it does (such as Reki, the History of Kamigawa, who only cares about running the cheapest legendary cards possible).
Spread: 4
Power: 3
I really like Negate and Countersquall, so I’m happy to run this effect as a 5th or 6th counterspell in all my decks with a blue/white color identity.
Spread: 3
Power: 3
I love asymmetrical board wipes. Note that it doesn’t target the creature it bounces so you can still cast it when you have no targets and it can’t be fizzled by removal. This seems like a pretty easy inclusion in most blue/white lists in the market for sweepers.
Spread: 1
Power: 2
This could be really sweet in any GR deck that runs a lot of mass land destruction-- maybe something like Grand Warlord Radha that isn’t totally reliant on its lands to cast its spells and can generate enough mana early in the game to bounce its lands and still cast a Thoughts of Ruin.
It also might be good in Borborygmos Enraged, as it’s a way to get lands back to your hand that is much less painful than Storm Cauldron.
Spread: 3
Power: 2
While the average CMC of Commander decks has crept down over the years, this is probably still very good. It kills all but 4 of the top 21 commanders of all time and while it’s pretty bad at taking care of mana accelerators and cheap draw engines, it’s great at killing the most terrifying threats in the format (such as Paradox Engine, Gods, Praetors, Titans, etc.). Don’t run it over Anguished Unmaking but consider it in a high-CMC metagame.
Spread: 3
Power: 3
I have not played a lot of Decimates, so I can’t fully judge how strong this card is. I thiiink it’s worse than Windgrace’s Judgment because of the rough mana cost, 6>5, sorcery speed.
Spread: 3
Power: 2
Eldritch Evolution sees a surprising amount of play (almost 9000 decks on EDHREC), but Neoform is worse in three ways, so it’s hard to be bullish about this card. I think I like it in Tishana, since she naturally wants a bunch of creatures on the field and morphs into Craterhoof, but I’m not sure there are many other commanders that would be stoked to run this. Maybe in Ezuri 2.0 as a way to trade mana dorks for Sage of Hours?
Spread: 4
Power: 3
This is the cheapest we’ve ever seen this effect and it can be really devastating to an opponent to have their commander permanently stolen. That being said, there are other cards with similar effects that cost only a little more, such as Legerdemain and Switcheroo, see hardly any play in Commander.
Spread: 1
Power: 2
Very unfortunate that the red mana in its cost disqualifies it from being used in the two decks that want it most: Doran and Arcades. There are a bunch of Kynaios and Tiro decks running Wave of Reckoning, so there’s potential for it to be run there (although it’s worth mentioning that Wave of Reckoning was included in their precon, so it may not actually be that great in the deck; maybe people were just too lazy to take it out).
Spread: 4
Power: 3
This seems very good in Lord Windgrace since that deck has a ton of mana to pump into it, a slow clock, and many ways to recur it.
Other slow control decks with lots of mana available will probably be happy to run this card, since it’s a difficult-to-answer counter that doesn’t require a deck slot.
Spread: 5
Power: 1
Even with the restriction to creatures, Winding Canyons is much better than this and doesn’t see a whole lot of play, so I’m skeptical that this will accomplish much. Losing a land is a huge downside.
Spread: 3
Power: 2
This is great! Coming into this set I was hoping to see a lot of proliferate attached to staple effects, and there’s nothing more universally useful than lands. It’ll be tricky to run this in Atraxa and five-color superfriends lists because of the heavy color requirements in those decks, but I’m sure planeswalker decks with fewer colors (the nicer Narset builds, for example) and infect aggro, +1/+1 counter decks, -1/-1 counter decks, and experience counter commanders are all going to find room to run this card.
Wrapping Up
Were there any cards I missed? Do you disagree with any of my ratings? Let me know!
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X-Men #13 Preview
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Rated T+
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Hellions #10 Preview
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When you're an indie movie director, how do you gain experience directing big-budget TV when you're constantly turned down for not having any?
That was writer-director Kat Candler's quandary in 2015. A stalwart of Austin's indie film community, she was riding the breakout success of her award-winning 2014 feature Hellion, an adolescent angst flick starring Aaron Paul (Breaking Bad) and Juliette Lewis (Whip It). The triumph, however, hadn't guaranteed an easy segue to the small screen. "I [was] thinking, 'Oh, doors are gonna open," said Candler. "And when it came to television, I realized how difficult it was to break in."
ATX Television Festival 2018
June 7-10. Tickets and info at www.atxfestival.com. Follow all our news, reviews, and interviews at austinchronicle.com/atx-television-festival.
Queen Sugar screening and Q&A with Kat Candler, Rutina Wesley, Dawn Lyen-Gardner, and Kofi Siriboe: Saturday, June 9, 2:45pm, Alamo Ritz.
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