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greenygreenland · 3 years

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Father! Garmadon & Reader: The Day I Died

-kinda inspired by the movie ‘A Better Tomorrow’ [it’s on Youtube if you wanna watch it] and my own experiences

Summary: A few months after the Overlord’s ‘demise’ he returns and you find yourself feeling hopeless. Thankfully, Garmadon has your back this time and you aren’t alone.

NOTE: SAME TIME-LINE AS LIAR, SO YOU ARE THE GREEN NINJA INSTEAD OF LLOYD

Liar Part 1

Liar Part 2

Your mother was an amazing person. Sure, she left you and Lloyd when you were incredibly young, but only because she wanted to stop the final battle from ever happening to save you both from the pain of fighting your father in a showdown to the death. She may have left you, but she came back and tried to make it up to you even if it felt...odd to have a mother back after being alone for so long.

Your father was a different story. He was the imbalance that tipped Ninjago off its feet, the reason why you defied Destiny to become the Green Ninja, and the cause for all your suffering. He was evil, and sometimes, you wished he weren’t your father.

Despite the venom running through his veins being vanquished, he hadn’t dared show his face around you ever again. According the rare passerbyers you conversed with, he had set up his own ‘lovely and successful dojo’ a few hours away from Wu’s Academy (you thought that was a dumb name).

You weren’t sure if you wanted to be confused by how the former dark lord of evil could somehow attract people to his dojo or angry that he never bothered to visit. He knew where you were because your mum told you she talked to him a week ago. You didn’t know where he was because, well, how the heck were you supposed to locate your ex-adversary’s dojo in the middle of nowhere?

So where in Ninjago was Garmadon? You decided to wait and see if he’d decide to show up sometime before you perished of old age, but he never did. A few days passed, then a week, then another and another and another. You waited, hoping that maybe, just maybe, he might decide to show up and tell you he was sorry for being absent for ten and up years of your life, but why should you expect anything when your whole life had been a let-down?

Being the Green and Golden ninja practically meant holding up the sky. You had duties, a reputation, and an incompetent family to care for. Not only that, but being a teacher at Wu’s Academy meant wasting your life away in a classroom grading paperwork. Before that, you sacrificed yourself to defy Destiny and save Lloyd from all the trauma and heartache you currently dealt with, and even way before that, you were his stand-in parent for your absent father and mother. You were done wasting your thoughts on the false hope that you’d get what all your students had--a family with parents who were actually there for you.

“(Y/n)!”

That broke you from your thoughts. You turned in your chair to face Lloyd, pausing for a second to blink. It was still odd to see him so tall since he magically aged up, so it took a second for you to adjust to what you thought you’d see. “Do you need something?” you inquired. Lloyd shoved a gi in your arms. “Put that on and hurry. We need to go, like now!”

“Now? But the others? Are they still on that field trip or--?” Lloyd slammed the classroom door shut. “I’ll explain later, just hurry up!”

“Okay, okay!”

As soon as you’d finished changing, Lloyd took you by the hand and ripped open one of the windows. “We’re gonna have to jump.” He broke into a sprint, but you yanked him away from the window. “What do you think you’re doing?! We’re on the top floor!” He yanked you towards the window with a strength you didn’t know he even possessed.

“STOP LLOYD!” you shouted. “I SAID STO--!”

“Don’t use your elemental dragon!” he interjected. You were suddenly free-falling, clinging onto your brother like he were a stuffed animal. Oh, this was it wasn’t it? You’d die here, falling through a window as Lloyd reassured you you’d ‘be okay’. You screwed your eyes shut and wrapped your arms around Lloyd to break the fall, all the while preparing the goodbye speech you’d announce once you were dead.

The landing came, but the impact was softer than you expected. Lloyd let out a light chuckle as you opened your eyes and took in the sight of the Ultra Sonic Raider.

“Oh.”

He snickered at you, wiggling out of your tight embrace and climbing in a separate compartment. You settled into the familiar leather, strapping in and closing the hatch as Lloyd revved up the engine. He closed his own hatch, and just as you were about to ask him about what the heck was happening, he slammed the petal to the metal. You yelped as your head hit the back of your chair, gripping onto your seat belt for dear life. “Lloyd, you’re going over the speed limit!”

“Well I’m sorry I can’t abide by the law when we’re about to die!” he sarcastically exclaimed. “The Overlord’s back, and he’s after our power!”

Your eyes widened. The Overlord was back? That couldn’t be. You saw him die--he vanished into nothing, leaving only your father behind and nothing more. Not only that, but what did Lloyd mean by ‘we’? He didn’t have elemental powers. You took his place so he could be how you liked it: safe.

“What do you mean ‘our power’?” you grimly inquired. Despite taking the role as the Green Ninja, you knew that in theory it was possible Lloyd also inherited the same power you possessed since you were both A, siblings, and B, descendants of the First Spinjitzu Master. If he truly did inherit elemental powers, then all your hard work would have been for naught.

That was a scary thought.

“I,” Lloyd paused, heaving in a deep breath, “I have Golden Power.” Your heart stopped.

Golden Power.

Lloyd had Golden Power.

How were you supposed to keep him safe now?

You had the sudden urge to scream or do anything to let those in Cloud Kingdom know that you wanted to take the burden to your grave so Lloyd could have a better life than you. The burden would be miserable for you, but that was how you wanted it. Lloyd wasn’t supposed to share your burden, and you feared if he’d become as bitter as you. A sorrowful sigh left your lips as Lloyd frowned.

“There was a falling street lamp and Jay would’ve been crushed if I didn’t step in.” he said. “I don’t really know how I did, but there was this golden glow around my hands and then it hit the pole and made it explode. I’m sorry sis, are you mad at me?” His voice was softer than the time he apologised for spilling juice all over your favourite book. You shook your head, running a hand through your hair. “Lloyd,” you began, “I’m not mad, I just--I just wish I could have done more. Maybe if I...or...I could have....”

You gave up on trying to formulate a cohesive sentence, taking to shaking your head again. “I’m sorry Lloyd.” He huffed from the driver’s seat. “It’s not your fault that this happened. Maybe it was meant to be so that you wouldn’t have to deal with everything on your own.”

“Lloyd--”

“So what you’re my older sister? So what you’re supposed to take care of me? You’re always doing that no matter what it is, risking your life, your health, your freedom, your everything. You always forget that you’re still human even though you’re doing this and that.”

You sighed. “Lloyd, that’s because I have to. It’s my responsibility and--”

“So?” His voice shook. “I don’t want to be your responsibility anymore! You think I don’t see you stay up all night writing out how much you hate being the Green Ninja so no one has to hear you complain? You think I don’t see how much you keep giving until you’re left with nothing? The only reason why you hate dad is because you blame him for everything you’ve done.”

“I don’t blame him for my misfortune.” you icily retorted. “But it’s his fault for leaving. And because he left us, I wanted to make sure you grew up happy even without him and mom. I give so you don’t have to go through what I went through, but now look what’s happened. Destiny has been cruel and you’re the Golden Ninja just like me.”

The rest of the ride continued in silence, something you were unused to around your brother. He was a chatterbox and loved to talk about the latest issues of Starfarer, or the newest video games, but this time, his lips were sewn shut. He didn’t utter a word, and when you asked if he was heading back to the Bounty, he remained silent.

“Lloyd,” you gently said, “just tell me where we’re going.”

His grip on the steering seemed to tighten, a sign that he was nervous. “You’re gonna get mad if I tell you.” You huffed, crossing your arms and frowning. “I don’t have a reason to be angry because you haven’t told me yet.”

Another pause.

“You’re not gonna like this, but we have to stay here and lie low. The nindroids--they’re the guys who attacked us in the city--won’t be able to find us here.” He rounded a bend and stopped the vehicle. You opened the hatch and climbed out as Lloyd turned off the Ultra Sonic Raider. He followed after you, an apologetic look on his face as you made your way up a hill.

No explanation was needed; you knew exactly where you were. The only question that stayed in your mind was, ‘why?’. There could have been a hundred other locations to hide so much harder to find than here, yet the ninja just had to choose the one place you swore to never set foot in: your father’s dojo. Being in the same building as him was something you silently said you’d never do after waiting for him to visit you for months on end.

He was supposed to take initiative because he was your father, especially after everything he did.

You had the sudden urge to weep as Lloyd took you by the arm and dragged you along. Maybe you could wait outside for everyone, or sneak away to some remote village where you could go into hiding alone. As long as it was anywhere but here, you were fine.

Along the way, you passed Zane and gave him a wave. He smiled kindly as he always did, juggling the objects in his hands. “Did you run into any trouble along the way?” he inquired. Lloyd shook his head. “No, but I’m glad we didn’t because I don’t think I’m that good at driving yet.” You were about to interrupt and tell Lloyd you were staying out here, but he suddenly yanked you away from Zane and further up the hill. There was a beautiful waterfall behind the dojo that made you wonder how your father found such a serene place, but that thought left your mind as you stopped at the front doors.

You sucked in a sharp breath as Lloyd took your hand, giving it a good squeeze before sliding open the doors. Soft, yellow light flooded the darkness, drowning out the stars and moon. Your father stood in the middle of the serene room, staff in hand as he lectured the class. Kai and the others waved frantically from where they sat as Nya whispered for them to shut their faces. Your father followed their pointing and waving, raising a brow inquisitively until his gaze met yours.

“Ah,” he warmly said, “if it isn’t my daughter and son, so glad you could join us.” You curtly nodded while Lloyd broke into a full-on grin. “Dad! It’s great to see you again.” He smiled in return, motioning for you both to come in. “It’s wonderful to see you both as well. Take a seat wherever you’d like, the lesson was just about to start.” You closed the door behind you as Lloyd gladly made his way inside. You followed after him, taking in every bit of your surroundings as you could.

Jay motioned for you to take a seat on the floor between him and Cole. You swiftly sat down as Lloyd settled next to Kai. “Did you guys run into trouble?” whispered Jay. “We’ve been here way before class started!” Your father made his way around the room and sent Jay a look. “Silence!” He bonked him on the head, but not enough to injure your poor friend. You frowned, sending your father a disapproving look. He didn’t see it though since his back was turned.

“Close your mouth, and open your ears. Tonight’s lesson is the Art of the Silent Fist, to fight without fighting.” He turned to face everyone again. “May I have a volunteer?” The walls were suddenly real interesting for everyone, and you couldn’t blame them.

“(Y/n) would like to volunteer as tribute!” Lloyd piped up. Your jaw dropped and you looked over Jay’s shoulder with wide eyes. “No I--”

“The Ultimate Battle, round two!” he exclaimed. You sat there for a moment until you realised there was no getting out of it, so with a roll of your eyes, you stood, making your way to the middle of the room. Your father still had a warm smile on his face, but you didn’t return it. “Attack me,” he said, “but please, no powers, I happen to like my monastery.” There was a collection of giggles and snorts from his students that set you a bit on edge.

You rolled your eyes and threw a swift punch, aiming straight for his face. At the last second, Garmadon dodged and you ran straight into a wall. “You see?” he said. “The key is balance.” He set his staff on the ground to stand on its own before holding it again. “Let your opponent fight himself.” You gritted your teeth, this time throwing a roundhouse kick and then an uppercut. He dodged, and dodged, and dodged again. As you threw another punch, he yawned and that made you angry.

You threw a punch first, then a kick, and finally another kick, but he kept dodging. Heaving in a deep breath, you ran towards him, readying a kick to put this so-called ‘lesson’ to a close. At the last second, Garmadon bent over, taking your arm and tossing you over his shoulder like a sack of flour.

The world spun and you let out a groan. “Oh, (Y/n)...” mumbled Kai with a face-palm. The others followed, shaking their heads as you ran a hand over your forehead. “Pupils,” said your father, “I present to you the greatest ninja in all the land, the Golden Ninja.” There was a chorus of laughter that made your chest burn. You didn’t deserve that, or this, or the embarrassment leaking onto your face as you hauled your tired limbs off the floor. Nothing could have been worse than humiliation by the man you loathed.

Suddenly, you found yourself on that unforgiving sandy beach. You were on the Dark Island, preparing to prematurely confront your father before anymore harm could be done to you and the world. You couldn’t wait any longer, and so you had stepped in his way like an annoying fly that wouldn’t leave. You were going to end the imbalance once and for all.

“Easy, easy dear.”

You blinked away the haze from your eyes, the familiar voice grounding you in the present. Your hands were balled into fists and green light danced across your fingertips. When had your powers activated? You didn’t remember doing that.

“It’s only a lesson.” your father said. His voice was gentle, and there was a gleam in his eyes that made you falter for a fraction of a second. You saw regret on his face, but you weren’t about to stick around to confirm your observations. Your arms dropped to your sides and you let out a curt sigh. “Sorry.” Your tone was harsher than you wanted it to be. “Force of habit." You saw the ninja and Nya frown. "I think I’ll excuse myself from the lesson.” You respectfully bowed and silently made your way out the door, ignoring the calls of your friends.

The chirping crickets and gentle breezes of night helped ease the emotional pain building in your heart. You took a seat at the bottom of the stairs and placed your head in your hands. For a while, it was only you and mother nature savouring each other's presence. It left a lot of breathing room for you to think, so you did and reflected.

"May I ask why you are out here alone?" You met Zane's familiar eyes with a weak smile. "Hi Zane." He eyed the spot next to you. "May I?" You nodded and he sat down, adjusting his grip on the golden objects he tightly held. "What are those?"

"The Techno Blades gifted to us by Cyrus Borg before we were attacked. They can hack the system of a corrupted computer and are currently our only hope to defeating the Overlord." You nodded in understanding, allowing your shoulders to droop just a bit. "I can't believe he's back, it felt like only yesterday I defeated him."

"At times, one can forget to count the days." he softly said. You smiled as he scanned your face, taking in every single detail that cracked through your smile.

"What bothers you?"

You fiddled with your hands and shrugged. “It’s nothing, just...”

“Your father?” You nodded and Zane scooted closer to you. “It is only logical you are unused to his presence. You have been separated since you were very young, so it will take time to allow him into your heart again.”

You sat there in silence for a while, nodding in understanding as he offered a reassuring smile. The door of the dojo suddenly opened and Zane looked past your shoulder. He stood, taking the techno blades with him. “I will take my leave now.” You watched as he disappeared down the hill, sighing at the empty space by your side.

“Hello (Y/n).”

You jumped to your feet, balling your hands into fists like you were about to sock someone in the jaw. Your father closed the door behind and made his way down the steps as you relaxed your pose. “It’s just you.” you sighed out. Garmadon nodded. “Just me.” he confirmed. “About earlier--”

“It’s fine.” You turned your back to him, crossing your arms to hug yourself with an uncomfortable frown. He made his way down the stairs, taking a seat on the steps as you plopped down as far away as six feet could take you.

"The sky is quite beautiful tonight." You turned to Garmadon, raising a brow with a look of distaste as he kept his gaze focused on the stars. "When you were younger, you used to sit by your window every night," he smiled to himself. "You refused to go to bed because you were afraid of offending the stars amd moon."

You frowned, picking at a loose thread on your gi. "You remember that?" you quietly mumbled. He nodded, turning to face you with a sad smile. "Of course I do. How could I forget when that was your favourite pass time?" He paused, releasing a long sigh that really spoke of his age. "I know I have caused you and Lloyd so much suffering--something I wish I could reverse--but dwelling on the past won't change anything."

Dwelling on the past won't change anything? Now where have you heard that one? A bitter chuckle rattled past your lips. "Yeah, it's not like I spent everyday wishing you were there to give me the love and support I need. And it's not like I lost my childhood to take care of Lloyd and find a job when I was only fourteen and a half. I totally understand why it's best not to dwell on the past, but it's kinda hard when it's the reason why I'm who I am today."

You kicked at the ground absentmindedly, again avoiding the gaze of your father as if it were fire. "I don't understand why you're always absent. Even after the Final Battle, I've never seen you until now. At least mom stops by and drops something off, or sends post cards and photos of where she's been. She tells me she's missed me and writes letters, but you? I never hear anything--I've always heard nothing. Do you...do you even care?"

He sent you a heartfelt glance, but you ignored it, throwing a hand out to make a point.

"I probably shouldn't have expected anything because I'm always let down anyway. You've never seen this cartoon or movie? Well, course not, because I never had the luxury to sit down and take a break. How are your parents doing, are they coming to the school conference? Course not!" Your shoulders tensed and your breaths became shorter as anger finally took a hold of your heart. "One's been turned into an evil lord and the other's disappeared to find a way to stop a prophecy that could either make or break Ninjago from becoming a land of darkness! You know, I always dreamed of having a perfect, whole family, but that's never gonna happen, not when mum's always gone and you never, ever show up!"

You began walking down the last steps of the stairs, voice cracking as you continued. "I can't believe I began to hope something would change. How...how foolish of me."

You waited for Garmadon to say something, or anything really. Even if it was an insult, a scolding, or a yell, you would take it because then at least you'd remember how it felt like to have a parent tell you what was 'right' or 'wrong'.

Instead of shouting, he sighed.

"(Y/n)," he softly said, "there are three things I've been wanting to tell you for ages, but no matter how long I thought it over, I never found the right words until now." He paused and you kept your back facing him. "You have done all you could to protect Lloyd by defying Destiny to take his place. You became the Green Ninja to fight me and restore balance, then the Golden Ninja to defeat the Overlord and I combined. But now that Lloyd has begun to realise his powers, even you know that you cannot hold his hand much longer."

There was another pause that made your loud mind go insane. Why did he suddenly stop talking? Why had he gone quiet? Was he only saying this to make you feel bad for him?

You licked your chapped lips, clenching a fist. "Well? What's the third thing you wanted to say?"

"I am very proud of you."

Your heart seemed to weigh a ton as it sank in your chest and made your fingers go numb. You suddenly whipped around, marching back up the stairs with a look of disbelief on your face. "'I am very proud of you'?" you demanded. "You're just saying that! How can you be proud of a failure?" You placed a hand on your chest, giving it a good pat to throw your point across.

"I've...I've suffered and had to be a stand-in parent for Lloyd--heck, I even infiltrated Darkley's and pretended to be a boy just to w-watch over him!" You cursed your voice for cracking as you continued. "I hate you. I hate you for making me like this--for taking away my childhood and giving me all these burdens I can't carry! Everyday, I wondered if I was ever going to be able to save Ninjago when I knew I couldn't save myself. I've died a thousand times just to be who I am today, and I'm--" Tears streamed down your cheeks as you threw a hand over your face to hide your tears. "I--I can't..." You sniffled. "Where were you when I needed you dad?! When everyone else had someone, why did you...why did you leave me?" There was a moment of silence as you sniffled before warm arms were around your shoulders and hugging you tight.

"I wasn't there." admitted Garmadon. "I know I wasn't there when I should have been, even when I wanted to make it up to you. The truth is, I wasn't being responsible. I knew you would reject me, so I was a coward and feared the consequences of my actions." He hugged you tighter. "I love you (Y/n). I love you and Lloyd so much and I am more sorry for everything I've done than I can put into words."

And so you stood there in his arms, sobbing as he simply hugged you tighter. You didn't say anything, and maybe that was because you couldn't, so your father took the first step and released you from his arms, keeping a gentle hand on your shoulder. There were a few tears in the corners of his eyes but he smiled despite that. "It's almost dinner time. Why don't we head back inside?"

"Okay."

#ninjago zane #ninjago jay #ninjago cole #ninjago lloyd #legoninjago #lego #ninjago x reader #ninjagoxreader #ninjago garmadon #ninjago

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pokemon-ninjago-world · 3 years

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Headcanon/Pokéninjago version of Lloyd’s identity crisis during season 5 of Ninjago

Got ab 12 likes on the announcement post so here we are: This is an essay-sorta-thing about something I thought and wrote some six years ago. It’s been so long since I wrote this I feel cringy reading it, but it’s tenable in Pokéninjago lore. It’s kind of a mix between my headcanon for the show, and canon of my AU, which is why there is mentions of “evolving” and Pokémon types.

Things to take into account:

Idk if there should be content warnings, but depression mention at least. Otherwise, this is pretty much as intense as season 5 went, just a little more angsty I suppose.

I must say that my version of Lloyd and his identity crisis were inspired by a certain artist’s version of him and by a comic they made about the Child’s Play episode’s aftermath. I don’t dare name the artist, since they don’t wish to be linked with the Ninjago fandom anymore, but some of you might know who I’m referring to.

I do not know how psychology stuff actually works, all of this was made on grounds of a couple of high school psychology courses and a lot of imagination `:D

I wrote this originally in Finnish and let Word translate it, so this might be v clumsy at points.

Most of the text is under the cut!

~***~

When Lloyd was just a small cub, closer to three years, his mother had left him in his father's care. Misako knew the boy would become the Green Ninja and Garmadon would become the Dark Lord. That is why she went looking for any ancient knowledge to avoid the final confrontation. Although her heart was torn since she had to leave her loved ones, she knew that she couldn’t just sit on her hands, and that perhaps she was the only one that could prevent the decisive battle between good and evil. It was also her wish that the father and the son could spend as much time together as possible. Thus, Lloyd's earliest childhood memories are about his father, and his recollections of his mother are blurry, obscure, and fading away as he grows up, or mixing with other memories.

Dad meant everything to little Lloyd. Although they lived in the same monastery with Lloyd’s uncle as well, whom he also liked, his own father was still the greatest. Garmadon also loved his child deeply and wanted him to have a happy life. Although the poison in his veins was starting to get a hold of him and he was increasingly drawn to the Golden Weapons, his love for Lloyd and the desire to be with him in anticipation of Misako's return kept him away from them for much longer than if the boy had never existed.

When Lloyd "evolved," he lost some important years of his life, during which a youngster usually developes a picture of himself and his changing body. Lloyd's body changed in a single moment and even though his mind also changed to some degree, it was still mostly on the same level as before, since artificial aging did not bring him the years of experience that growing up normally would. From that moment on, he had to form himself a new image of himself. Frankly, he was facing a fierce identity crisis.

After the episode Child's Play, Lloyd adopted an identity whose foundation was flimsy and unstable. It consisted of a few simple pillars that supported his image of himself. Some emotions, thoughts, and memories that he could not, wasn’t able to or didn’t dare to deal with, secretly and slowly gnawed at those pillars like erosion. They grew into doubt that settled into the cracks like rockfoil.

That flimsy foundation for his self-image, consisted of these elements: I am the Green Ninja. I'm the strongest ninja of all. I’m the son of sensei Garmadon. I’m the grandson of The First Spinjitzu Master. I'm one of the Elemental Masters. I'm a student of Sensei Wu. I'm one of the five elemental ninjas. It's my destiny to protect the world from evil.

This made it easy for Morro to destabilize and crush Lloyd’s self-esteem. Morro proved himself to be stronger and more independent than Lloyd, and that he could win him over and over again, no matter how hard Lloyd tried to fight back. Lloyd felt weak and desperate. Two pillars of his self-image collapsed to the ground and the masked emotions and doubts that chipped away at the other columns began to grow and intensify: He was not the strongest ninja and was therefore unable to protect the world from this evil.

This also affected his view of him as the Green Ninja. Although logically he still was just that – the Golden Weapons and his powers had proven it – he could not help but think that maybe Morro really was supposed to be the Chosen One. His identity was cracking, which ate away at his strength and self-esteem. Being a Psychic Type, his greatest strength resided in his psyche, and whenever his mind was in an unstable and vulnerable state, he couldn’t do his best, even if he had used everything he had learned. Losing his father fairly recently had already struck a dangerous notch in his mental stability.

Even though Lloyd was still his father's son, it didn't feel the same when he was no longer with him. Finally, he was only driven forward by his relationship with his other loved ones. He had to do everything he could to stop Morro from harming his friends. By protecting them he was also protecting the last intact remnants of his Self.

Lloyd did everything he could to resist Morro's possession. From time to time a memory of his friends and the will to keep them safe increased his "self-control," weakening the ghost's hold on him. However, a long, grueling time in constant motion, without water and nourishment, poisoned by a cold, vindictive spirit, steadily filled his mind with anguish and despair. Doubts penetrated deep into the tears of his self-image, breaking everything old until he no longer knew who he was. Only with the last bits of his mental strength could he interfere with Morro's possession so that he failed to clear the other ninjas out of his way.

Then, when Morro broke away from Lloyd's body, the Espeon felt like nothing more than an empty, broken shell floating aimlessly in the dark, beachless sea. He was unable to live up to any of the expectations and goals that had been set for him. Now, he was used as a trade-in item in the market of the world’s destiny. He longer had the strength or power to save even his best friends. He was as helpless as a newborn pup and all he could do was to stand by and apologize when he was traded for Realm Crystal.

Somewhere from his past, he dug up one last spark of strength. Already as a child, he had been left alone with unfriendly people, who then had ignited that stubborn flame in him: the desire to fight the cruel, unjust and repressive world. His body still had more strength than his mind, and this momentary burst of grit made him kick the Crystal out of Morro's hand. This, however, caused him to end up in the freezing stream, all his energy used up. There was not much left but a primitive desire to survive and a little strength to keep his head afloat before the cold numbed his muscles.

Lloyd's mind was in shambles. Images, memories, shattered fragments of his adopted identity… they all churned in his tired, blurred consciousness. Unintentionally, he began to go through the feelings of uncertainty, fear and inadequacy that he had denied from himself for years. The present seemed more surreal than the memories. He relived moments that had had a revolutionary impact on his life: When the golden weapons pointed him out as a Green Ninja; when he grew up under the influence of Tomorrow's Tea; when he met his mother and became to know her; when he unleashed the Golden Dragon in the Temple of Light; how he fought the Overlord who was possessing his father; how he harnessed his True Potential; got his father back; lost Zane; reunited his friends again and felt great togetherness with the other Elemental Masters. When he lost his father again. And when Morro possessed him.

Lloyd was lost. If it wasn’t for his friends and their care, he would have sunk deep into depression (and, on the other hand, drowned or, at the very least, died of hypothermia). When Kai carried him out of the FSM’s tomb, it triggered a very clear memory of the day when the Master of Fire had fulfilled his potential and Lloyd had been identified as the Chosen One. That day, Kai had come to save him from an erupting volcano and carried him to safety. Now, Lloyd felt like he was that little scared cub again, who had for a moment thought he was going to burn to the ground in the boiling lava of the volcano. He remembered how Kai's closeness had brought a feeling of immediate security around him. Even though the mountain had raged and wanted to kill them both, Lloyd had known he didn’t have to be afraid. Kai was there. He'd protect Lloyd. There was no reason to fight the fear anymore, he didn't have to pretend like he was tough. He was carried by someone older and stronger, whom to rely on.

The feeling was so intense, the memory so vivid that Lloyd was overwhelmed by an inexplicable, immense grief. The sadness of being forced to give up a carefree childhood so early on, to take on an enormous responsibility and assume a role that seemed too demanding for such a small boy to perform. He had had to grow up way too soon. He started shaking from holding back the tears. He didn’t mind since he thought Kai was probably assuming that he was shivering from the cold. But when Kai said quietly and understandingly: "Shh... It's okay... Don't worry about it," the last wall of pride and fear fell, and Lloyd could no longer repress his weeping.

At this point, he slowly began to build a new identity on the ruins of the wrecked one. He understood that even though he was the Green Ninja, it didn’t make him greater or more important than the others. He had more magical power than anyone else, but he was still only a person just like them. He could hesitate, too, and fail. There was no way for him to do anything more than what he was capable of, mentally, physically, and skill-wise. That’s all there was to offer, and if it wasn't enough, there were others whom he could rely on. Others, who would catch him when he ran out of strength. He wasn't the last link to hold the whole structure together.

These ideas developed slowly in Lloyd's exhausted mind. Slowly, he got stitched back up from the fragments of his previous self-image. This time, however, his new identity was not something that was given to him from the outside, in which he would have had to fit himself, but it was a solid, authentic self-image created as a result of self-reflection. It was still obscure, uncertain and seeking its form, and its growth was overshadowed by fear. But the conversation with his father drove away that last fear. The fear that Morro was supposed to be the Green Ninja instead of Lloyd. His father assured that Lloyd’s qi had no influence on how he should live and act. He should live the way his heart told him to.

In the end, although Morro managed to beat Lloyd one last time, this time he did not break down. He was more intact now, he had more inner strength, and he knew for sure he wouldn't be abandoned. That the fate of the world wasn't really up to him. He may have been part of the story, but after all, he wasn't the protagonist, at least not the only one of them.

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