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humanitys-strongest-bamf · 7 months

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"get me a damned matcha" | Chapter 16: September II

{{ Chapter 15: August II | Chapter 17: October II }} Chapter Directory

this is honestly my fave chapter tbh, i've had it written since may

if you wanna get tagged for updates, fill out this form here!

✧ pairing ➼ levi ackerman x fem!reader, college x coffee shop x roommates!au ✧ summary ➼ After you find yourself plagued with misfortune due to struggles in your personal and family life, you find yourself needing to move last minute. As a junior in undergrad with little money and little social support, you considered yourself lucky when you found a sublease that was close to campus and was relatively cheap. Unfortunately, it seemed that your roommate did not seem to be so excited regarding your presence. ✧ content/warnings ➼ fluff, slowburn, mutual pining, idiots in love, car accident, explicit descriptions of injury, blood, explicit descriptions of panic, explicit descriptions of being overstimulated (in a bad way) ✧ word count ➼ ~6.3k

The events of the past month went unaddressed. Although part of it was due to the two of you avoiding each other, the biggest reason was simply because you were out of town. Paradis University had enrolled in an annual conference for aspiring authors to attend in their junior or senior year. You didn't make it in last year because of the chaos surrounding Zack and moving, so you dropped everything to make sure you were able to go this year to get some networking under your belt.

This resulted in Levi coming home to an empty apartment for the past week. Once again, he found himself feeling defeated whenever he went home and was reminded that you weren't going to be there for the night. He remembered that when you first moved in, he couldn't wait to get rid of you. Now, not having you around felt wrong, as if he was missing a constant in his life.

Being left to his own thoughts whenever he was at home forced him to try to process what had happened two weeks ago. He remembered being in shambles after half of his work that was saved remotely on his computer in lab went down in flames, which would push him back at least another year in terms of graduating. He remembered coming home to see that you had been sitting at the dining table all day, waiting for him. He remembered you hugging him—which was more than enough to throw him into a state of shock (the last time you had hugged him was when you were horrifically drunk)—before kissing him.

He had kissed you back.

He knew that. What he didn't know was what this meant. Was it just emotions running high? The whole incident seemed so blurred to him and you just never addressed it afterwards. Not having you around to talk about it was even worse, although he wasn't even sure if he wanted to bring it up. It could've just been a mistake that you two could forget ever happened.

Levi sighed to himself, scowling at the freshly brewed batch of tea that he had restocked to prepare for the evening rush of customers. The sun had just gone down and ominous clouds were beginning to cover the sky. That translated to more people taking shelter in the café, which meant more work for him.

Good, it'd at least take his mind off of you, although his eyebrows furrowed as he wondered when you'll arrive home, given the incoming storm. He knew it didn't matter in the end. He'd be up regardless. The real question was if that shared kiss was worth bringing up.

As he pondered over if he wanted to subject himself to that conversation, he was distracted by the buzzing of his phone in his pocket. He pulled out his phone and saw that it was Marlo calling.

What the hell does that kid want?

He pressed the answer button and brought his phone up to his ear.

"What?" Levi asked in an irritated fashion. "I thought you didn't get back until tomorrow."

Levi's facial expression quickly transitioned from an irate one to a horrified one as Marlo quickly spoke to him over the phone. The young man was talking so fast that it was nearly incomprehensible, with clear panic present in his voice, which was further muffled by the sound of the wind coming through the phone, which indicated that he was outside.

As soon as Marlo said the words "car accident", Levi's eyes widened and his face drained of color.

You and Marlo were carpooling to and from the conference together.

"I know you're roommates and I didn't know who else to call," Marlo continued to speak as Levi remained silent. "_____'s unconscious and I can't get her to wake up and I don't even know if she's breathing and-"

"What the fuck are you calling me for?" Levi said in a monotonous tone. "Call the ambulance already, you idiot."

Levi began to walk towards the staff locker room, untying his apron as he continued to speak into the phone.

"I'll be there in ten."

He hung up the phone and momentarily looked at the call log that popped up, with his eyes out of focus, indicating that he wasn't actually processing what it was that was on the screen. Levi stood still in front of his locker for a while, unable to put his phone down or put his apron away, being completely paralyzed at the situation that had just been dropped onto him.

"Shit," he muttered to himself, pulling himself out of his stupor.

Suddenly feeling an incredible sense of urgency, Levi threw his apron into his locker, grabbed his wallet and car keys and rushed out of the café towards his own car.

~~~~~

Focusing on the road felt impossible. The storm had come down in full force, limiting the visibility of the road, and Levi couldn't get his own heart rate to calm down. He had told Marlo that he'd get there in ten minutes, but it became closer to twenty due to the storm. If Marlo was telling the truth in that he didn't know if you were breathing, Levi could be much too late by the time he arrived.

He continued to curse at himself as more and more time passed. He had foolishly been wondering if he wanted to bring up something as innocent as a kiss once you got home when you had actually been in a car crash that could possibly take your life. It felt trivial to be stressed over something as small as a kiss. He gripped at the steering wheel upon realizing that, depending on your state once he found you, addressing whatever was going on between the two of you might not be a reality. He could be too late.

He wouldn't have the chance to explore that with you, instead only being left with a sense of regret for not bringing it up sooner.

His eyes that were fixated on the road darted around his field of vision, keeping an eye out for the red and blue flashing lights that indicated the presence of an ambulance. He felt his breathing begin to destabilize the longer he drove without the siren of an ambulance in the distance.

Maybe they had already gotten to you and were on their way with you to the hospital. That would be the best case scenario.

His heart dropped once he arrived at the location that Marlo had sent him. No ambulance had arrived. Marlo's totaled car had its emergency blinkers on and Levi could see that there were parts from the front bumper strewn about the ground. The main frame of the car was completely bent in and the passenger side of the car was caved in.

Levi immediately turned on his own blinkers and got out of the car, holding his hand over his head in an attempt to at least keep the rainwater out of his eyes as he sprinted over to Marlo.

Marlo himself seemed fine, save for a few scratches, but he definitely looked panicked.

Levi felt his panic and anxiety only continue to increase as his eyes searched for where you were, his eyes immediately snapping to the passenger's seat once Marlo pointed out where you were.

Marlo was saying something, but none of it was processed by Levi as he stumbled through the wreckage to get to where you were. Once he finally reached the door, he tugged on it to pry it open after it had gotten stuck due to the main frame of the car caving in.

He let out a sharp exhale once he saw you.

Your side of the car had gotten directly hit and your airbag had failed to pop out. You were leaning forward with your head against the dash, your arm was bent at an odd angle, and blood was gushing out of your nose and down your face from a wound that Levi couldn't begin to attempt to identify.

He could tell that you weren't hurt anywhere else. None of your chest and abdominal regions seemed to have been punctured and weren't bleeding, but he had no idea how bad your head injury was. He could understand why Marlo had panicked.

Shit.

He wasn't processing anything around him. He didn't feel the rain falling on him, hear the thunder crashing above him, or even see anything that wasn't the sight of you leaning forward in that car after having smashed your head against the dashboard. Panic only continued to build in his gut and it took everything in him to pull himself back into reality.

"Shit," he said out loud as he pulled out his phone, shakily dialing for the ambulance again.

After placing his phone back into his pocket, he leaned forward and stepped over some of the debris and placed one hand on the nape of your neck and used the other to gently push you away from the dash, his breath getting caught in his throat once he saw your head bob to the side. He got a closer look at your arm and was able to deduce that your arm was certainly broken, but he still had no idea how bad your head injury actually was. There was certainly more blood dripping down your face than he had initially expected.

"_____?" he called for you, raising his voice so that you would be able to hear him over the pouring rain.

You didn't stir, but he was now close enough that he could see your chest rise and fall. You were still breathing. That at least meant you were still alive.

He felt himself exhale in relief at that one positive fact amongst the ocean of negatives around him.

Levi gently shook at your shoulder in a vain attempt to wake you.

Open your eyes. Come on, _____, open your fucking eyes.

You weren't waking.

"_____!" he called out again, feeling his breath hitch as he saw the extent that you were continuing to bleed from your head wound.

Knowing that you weren't going to wake, he looped one arm under your legs and the other around your shoulders, propping your head up against his chest as he lifted you out of the car. He glanced down at the blood on your face that was mixing in with the rain water and he felt his own heart rate only continue to rise. His shirt was soaked in the mixture that was your blood and the rain water falling down on him. Your hair was matted and stuck to your head from the bleeding.

The worst part was that there was still no sign of an approaching ambulance.

"Fuck!" he yelled out.

He immediately turned around and began carrying you back to his car.

"Stay here so you can report what happened when the police decide to actually get their asses here," he spoke to Marlo as he walked past him. "Keep me updated."

Levi slowly lowered your legs down to free his hand to open up the passenger side door for you, taking care to not put too much pressure on your broken arm. He reclined the seat all the way back and then lifted you into the seat, immediately rushing to the driver's side once you were secure.

He immediately turned on the engine and drove off as soon as he shut the driver's door, desperately trying to deduce the fastest route to the hospital. The last time he drove around in this state was when he had gone looking for you during the New Year's Eve party. The exact scenario that was happening in front of him—finding you injured, in trouble, or hurt—kept playing through his head during that night. Relief fell upon him when that reality didn't come to fruition.

That sense of relief felt stupid now.

"You better stay with me, you goddamned brat," he mumbled as he glanced over at you, his grip on the steering wheel tightening as he pressed down on the gas pedal to speed his way over to the hospital as quickly as he could.

~~~~~

He couldn't tell if the wetness was from the blood or rainwater. He had taken off his jacket that was drenched in rainwater (or blood, he couldn't tell).

Levi currently stared at himself in the mirror of one of the private bathrooms in the hospital. He didn't want to wander into a public one in the state that he was in.

He was absolutely filthy. His hands, arms, and shirt were covered in blood. He had spent the past five minutes desperately trying to wash away the blood on his hands and arms, but he couldn't get all of it off. Even if he could, it would do little to ease his distress. He had continued to scrub harder and harder in a vain attempt to not only wash off the blood, but also the stupidly uncomfortable feeling that was building in his chest and throat upon seeing your blood that had dried onto him.

He had scrubbed until his arms were raw, yet the blood stains were still there and his distress had not shown any signs of dissipating.

Fuck!

He gripped at the sink and tightly shut his eyes. Everything was setting his senses on overdrive. His eyes hurt from the bright hospital lights, his skin hurt from the scrubbing and the feeling of his wet clothes clinging onto him, his head hurt from hearing the whirring of the ventilation above him and from the smell of hospital cleaners permeating his nose. He felt nauseated and wanted to throw up. He couldn't stop his shaking. Every breath he took felt like he was inhaling fire. Even the loose strands of hair that rested upon his forehead felt like they were stabbing into him.

He had rushed you into the emergency room as soon as he had arrived and felt both a sense of relief and dread once they took you away. He was relieved that you were finally getting help, but also hated not being by your side. He had no idea if you were going to be okay. You were breathing and alive, sure, but he had no idea if you would wake and what state you would be in when you woke.

He felt so stupid for holding back on discussing any of the intimate emotions that arose when he was around you, and even moreso when he recalled the fact that he had tried to push you away. He still didn't know what it was, but he knew it was something—and now he might never get the chance to figure out what that something was.

Levi slowly opened his eyes again and looked at his reflection. He really was a mess. He took a shaky inhale in an attempt to calm himself down. He couldn't last the night in this state and he needed to be by you when you woke up—if you woke up.

He felt his breathing destabilize again upon having that thought.

Shit, get yourself together.

He tried again to take a breath in.

Breath in for four.

Hold for four.

Out for four.

Hold for four.

After a few more rounds of box-breathing, Levi was finally able to loosen his grip on the sink. He felt weak and his lips looked pale. He hadn't eaten anything since the afternoon before he left for his shift and it was now approaching 10pm, but he knew that he wouldn't be able to keep anything down until he knew if you were okay.

He slowly walked out of the bathroom, silently thanking the heavens that the waiting room was mostly empty. He didn't know how well he'd be able to cope with people walking around and talking next to him. Every additional sound was only contributing to his headache.

Levi collapsed into one of the chairs that was close to the operating room so he could be prepared when someone came out to inform him of your condition. One hand was rapidly tapping on the armrest of the chair and he found himself biting at his nails on the other—something he's never found himself to do. He only recalled resorting to it in an attempt to calm his anxiety down once—when he was waiting to hear back about his mother before she passed.

He remembered calling the ambulance when his mother had fainted after weeks of being sick and weak, kneeling next to her as the ambulance took much too long to arrive at his home. He remembered sitting in the waiting room of the hospital, regularly going up to the front desk asking if she was going to be okay. She wasn't.

He was only eight at the time—and here he was, nearly 15 years later, feeling like he had regressed back into the body of that small child that kept on begging to himself that his mother had survived and being devastated when she didn't. He didn't know if he could go through that again.

Every second that passed was agonizing. He needed to know. He wouldn't be able to rest until he knew. Part of him wanted to just assume that you were dead so that he wouldn't be as devastated when they delivered bad news, but that itself was already too painful for him to bear.

After what felt like an eternity, he finally heard footsteps approaching from the operating room.

"Mr...Ackerman, was it?" someone spoke as they flipped through some papers on a clipboard.

Levi's eyes shot up at the doctor that had approached him.

"Y-Y..." Levi began speaking and found that his words weren't coming out properly, immediately clearing his throat to gather himself. "Yes."

The doctor looked at him and then back to the forms that had your information listed on it.

"Are you her boyfriend, I assume? She had you listed as her emergency contact."

"What?" Levi asked, his eyes widening at both the fact that you had listed him as your emergency contact and at the doctor's somewhat absurd question. "No, I'm her roommate."

The doctor noticed his reaction.

"My mistake," they said, lowering the clipboard. "She just didn't have anyone else listed, so I assumed. That's my bad."

Levi had known about what happened with your parents and your turbulent relationship with your aunt, so he wasn't too surprised at the fact that you had listed him as your emergency contact. However, he would have assumed that you would have put Petra or Oluo instead of him. If he wasn't so freaked out about this entire situation, he might have even felt flattered.

Levi listened closely as the doctor discussed your injuries with him. He was correct in that you had a broken arm, the doctor had mentioned that it had been fractured in the accident, but should heal in a month as long as you didn't injure it again. You had a sprained ankle that should heal within a week. The most concerning injury was your head injury. The doctor mentioned that they did a CT scan and said that you had a "mild traumatic brain injury", which immediately caused Levi to tense up.

"Fortunately, it was mild enough that she should have a speedy recovery and doesn't need to be held here for prolonged observation, but I would suggest the two of you be on the lookout for any developments."

Levi nodded as the doctor spoke, feeling himself able to gradually calm down after the doctor only listed non-fatal injuries. You were going to be okay.

"We'll probably keep her until the morning when she wakes so we can do a mental status exam, but she should be good to go home afterwards."

Levi sat back down in the chair again once the doctor walked off, holding his head in his hand. The sudden wave of relief that overtook him was almost as bad as the distress that he had been feeling for the past few hours.

Thank fuck you're okay, you annoying ass brat.

~~~~~

The last thing you remembered was the blaring horn of a pickup truck that had slammed into your side of the car. There was nothing after that.

Your head felt like it was trying to explode from the inside out. It made it so that you felt nauseated and even attempting to open your eyes seemed to prolong the pain. There was an annoyingly persistent beeping sound next to you that made it feel like there was a hammer pounding at your head every time you heard it.

Your arm felt even worse. You felt like you had gotten punched in the shoulder, except the pain radiated throughout your entire arm. You tried to lift it to maybe stretch it out to normalize the pain, but even your slight movement made a surge of pain shoot through you in such an intense wave that you wanted to cry.

You finally peeled your eyes open and found yourself staring at the ceiling of an unfamiliar room. You weren't in your room. You weren't in your living room. You had no idea where you were. You looked down and saw a pulse oximeter attached to your left index finger and that your right arm was tightly held in a cast.

Your eyes widened and you looked over to the side at a sight that was definitely unfamiliar to you.

You saw Levi sitting at the side of your bed, looking down at the ground with a grim expression. You looked towards your night stand and saw three empty coffee cups, indicating that he had literally stayed up all night watching over you.

He suddenly raised his head as he heard you shuffling around, taking a deep breath once he saw your eyes looking back at him.

He scoffed as he shook his head at you.

"About fucking time," he said in an annoyed tone.

You couldn't see it, but his nails had been digging into his hands for the majority of the night, and it wasn't until now that he had been able to release his clenched fists. The events of the past 12 hours had put him in a state that he hasn't experienced since childhood.

He saw you try to push yourself up and he immediately stood up, placing his hand on your back to help push you up so that you were sitting.

Your cheeks flushed up as soon as he came over to you and even more so when he placed his hand on your back. He was being oddly caring and it made you suspicious.

"Lev', where are we? What happened?"

Levi sat back down once you were up and stable.

"You were in a car accident, _____."

Your eyes went in and out of focus as you listened to Levi explain everything that had happened the previous night. He spoke about how he found you unconscious in the middle of the storm and had to drive you to the hospital himself. When you looked at him again, you saw that his shirt and pants were stained in red, which you deduced to be your own blood.

He had been here literally all night.

"And that's why I had to spend all night dragging your ass to the hospital," he finally ended and you grimaced at the irritation that you could hear in his voice. He was mad. You could tell that he was mad.

"...I'm sorry," you said, which earned you a bewildered look from Levi.

What the hell are you apologizing for? he thought.

"I'm sorry you had to go out of your way for that."

Levi scoffed and shook his head.

"You're such a dumbass."

"What?" you asked, unsure what he was referring to.

"Nothing," he said as he stood up. "I'm going to grab the doctor since you finally decided to wake up. Don't move."

"Not like I can move anyway."

Levi grunted as he turned away and walked out the door, the corner of his mouth twitching up slightly into a small smirk. The presence of your normally irritating sass indicated that you were okay and for the most part functional, which was all that mattered to him in this moment.

~~~~~

After being observed for 24 hours at the hospital, you were finally discharged and able to go home. The biggest concern was your head injury, so once it became clear that you didn't have a concussion, the doctor said that you were good to go, but to also keep an eye out for any signs that might reappear once you get home and to come back if they do.

Levi walked closely behind you as you navigated your way down the hall towards the door to your apartment on crutches. You were technically able to walk, but were told not to until your ankle healed.

He stepped forward to unlock and open the door for you and you immediately went for the kitchen table, collapsing down into one of the chairs, letting out an exasperated sigh. Everything was shit right now. You had a sprained ankle and a broken arm, and this was the first time you had been home in a week.

You weren't sure when, but your life living in this small apartment with Levi had quickly become somewhere you considered to be home.

"You'll let me know if you start feeling dizzy or any of that, yeah?" Levi asked, taking a seat next to you.

Although you were here in front of him now, he felt like his body still hadn't fully processed what had happened. He remembered just how panicked he was when he was waiting at the hospital and he still felt like there was another shoe that was going to be dropped. Something was going to happen where you fell and hurt yourself again or a symptom indicating a concussion would appear when he wasn't around to help you. He couldn't help but feel that he was still holding his breath for whatever follow-up disaster was going to occur.

You nodded, shutting one eye in pain as you tried to adjust yourself in the chair. Your entire body still ached and you knew you needed to move or at least do something to distract yourself from it.

"Where's my laptop?" you asked, opening your eye again.

Levi raised an eyebrow at you.

"Are you seriously thinking of doing work the day you get out of the hospital?"

"Where is my laptop?" you repeated, not being in the mood to suffer through Levi's attitude.

Levi sighed and leaned back in the chair.

"Marlo is coming to drop it off along with the rest of your things later tonight."

He frowned as he saw you tense up at his comment.

"How the hell am I supposed to catch up on my work-"

"Are you serious?" Levi snapped, cutting you off. "You're so stupid."

Your tenacity and stubbornness never failed to impress him. You literally had a life-or-death scenario and you were sitting in your kitchen worrying about missed schoolwork.

His eyes darted over to you as he saw an offended look appear on your face. He immediately looked away, an uncomfortable feeling growing in his chest at the thought of hurting you.

Since when did he start caring so damn much about that?

"Get your ass on the couch and rest," he said, motioning over towards the living room before getting up. "I'll get you something to eat that's not the shitty hospital food."

~~~~~

The next 2-3 weeks primarily involved Levi helping you adjust to and heal from your injuries, which involved helping you in and out of bed, bringing you food, and generally helping you move around. He'd wake you up each morning with your coconut milk Matcha without fail, bringing a small smile to your face every time you took a sip.

After 3 weeks, you were able to take your arm out of the outer casing to move your shoulder around, but you still had to be careful to not move it too far or too quickly to avoid reinjuring it. Any symptoms of a possible concussion had long faded and moving your ankle became easier with each passing day.

If you had to choose, the most annoying part was your inability to write. You remembered a point roughly a week after you came home, in which you were sitting in the living room with your bad leg propped up and your laptop sitting in your lap. Levi had been consistently telling you to cut it out whenever you tried to push yourself regarding school, which was made even worse given the fact that you could only type with one hand, significantly slowing you down.

You couldn't afford to be out of commission for a whole month. You sat in front of your computer, desperate for words to come out, and frustrated beyond belief at how slow your typing became due to your right arm being dysfunctional. You quietly groaned as you rubbed your head in pain. You needed more caffeine, and you were already past your third cup of coffee for the day.

"_____," you heard Levi call out from the dining area.

You didn't acknowledge him, only continuing to stare at your laptop screen as you tried to type as quickly as you could with your left hand.

You heard him sigh as he walked over and took your laptop from you, setting it down on the coffee table.

"Cut it out," he said before you could protest, referring to you constantly pushing yourself past your limits when you were still trying to heal. "I'm sick of having to tell you this shit."

You knew that he was right. You couldn't realistically get any work done with the state that you were in, but you didn't want to just lay around either.

With the more days that passed, the more you became frustrated with your inability to take care of yourself that was compounded by Levi essentially hovering over you to make sure that you were okay. It was obnoxious and you relished any time you could actually have to yourself without your overbearing roommate watching your every move.

You currently found yourself laying in bed, glancing at the small ray of sunshine that peaked in through the curtains. You needed to get out of the house. You had been cooped in all week. While you were still supposed to be using your crutches, walking had gotten a bit less painful, which gave you hope that you could maybe go for a "walk" down the street.

You pushed yourself up off the bed, swinging your legs over the side, careful not to put too much pressure on your barely healed arm.

However, the unfortunate timing of when you pushed yourself up versus when you swung your legs over clashed with each other and you felt your bad ankle get caught in the blanket right as you moved. The sudden surge of pain briefly made you disoriented, which was more than enough to send you tumbling to the ground.

You whimpered in pain as you landed on your left shoulder (which was not the injured one, thankfully). Landing on your side also meant that you avoided hitting your head on anything. A dull ache radiated throughout your body as you rolled over onto your back. Every movement you made sent another wave of pain through you, which elicited more quiet groans of pain from you.

You tried to push yourself up, but you had nothing to grab onto and it hurt your arm too much to keep pushing yourself up. Your abs cried in pain whenever you tried to sit up on your own. You were stuck on the ground.

"Shit," you whispered to yourself.

You knew the best course of action was to call Levi for help, but you had been so annoyed with his presence recently, that you'd rather lay on the ground and wait for the pain to pass so you could get up yourself.

However, not much time passed before you heard rushed footsteps approaching your door, and a dejected sigh escaped your lips.

You looked over as the door swung open and you saw Levi standing in the doorway with a scowl on his face.

"Hi," you said with a deadpan expression.

"Why the hell didn't you call me?" he asked as he flipped on the light switch, sounding as annoyed as he looked. "How long have you been down there?"

"Not long. I'm fine, Levi."

"No you're not," he said dismissively as he walked to you and helped you get up off the ground.

"I'm not a child, Levi," you said as you sat back down on your bed, rubbing at your left shoulder in pain. "I didn't need your help."

He stared at you, not believing a single word you were saying.

"So you're telling me you were just hugging the ground for the hell of it?"

He waited for you to come up with a snarky response or excuse as to why you were on the ground after he had heard a thud come from your room that didn't involve you tumbling out of your bed involuntarily.

You didn't have one.

"Dumbass," he finally said. "Stay here."

You sat in your bed with an exasperated expression as you watched Levi walk out of your room after opening up the curtains so that you could get some sunlight. You heard him fumble around in the kitchen for a few minutes before he finally came back to your room with a cup of tea, setting it down on the nightstand next to you. His other hand held your computer, which you found oddly endearing for him to bring to you since he's been trying so hard to get you to not work on anything related to school.

"Could've gotten that myself," you grumbled.

"Could you have?"

You rolled your eyes. Your arm cast was off, so you were able to move your arm around, although it still wasn't completely healed. You waved your arm to show him that you were functional, but then winced as you moved your arm a bit too far back, which earned you another surge of pain running up your arm.

Levi stared at you with an unamused look as he watched you blatantly hurt yourself again.

"Quit looking at me like that," you said, frowning. "I can take care of myself. Arm's healed for the most part. I can walk without those stupid crutches now. I-"

"Can you just shut the fuck up so you can heal from this shit already?" Levi scolded, cutting you off, getting sick of your commentary.

"I don't need you hovering over me 24/7, Levi!"

"Tch. Tell me that when you go for a day without falling on your ass at some point."

He glanced at you again and saw that you were scowling at him.

"I can take care of myself," you said, clenching your fists in frustration, "so quit wasting your time feeling like you have to watch over me."

Levi remained quiet for a few seconds as he turned away, averting his gaze.

He spoke quietly.

"I just don't want to lose you again, you dumbass."

It had been a few weeks since the accident at this point, yet that feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop never left. Levi still felt like any minute, something else would happen and you'd slip from his grasp. He couldn't get over the feeling of his heart absolutely sinking once he saw your condition in the wreckage or how he had relentlessly scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed until his arms were raw in that hospital bathroom in a desperate attempt to scrub away all of the chaos running through his mind as he waited for you in the operating room. He felt that if he had slipped up in any way, something would happen, and you would have to pay the price for it.

"Shit," he mumbled. "Why do you have to do this to me, _____?"

"Do what?"

He looked down at his hands, remembering the sight of them after he dropped you off at the hospital. The events of that stormy night kept running through his head, as if he was trapped in it.

Levi looked back up into your eyes. You were here in front of him, awake and breathing—the opposite of when he found you in that car, unconscious, bleeding, with unstable breathing patterns. You were here. You were okay. He had no reason to still feel as panicked as he was, yet he did.

Before you could open your mouth to speak, he reached out to you, closing the gap between you, and planting his lips onto yours. His hand rested at the side of your face as he held you.

You tensed at first at the sudden gesture, but quickly relaxed into it as you kissed him back, placing your hand on top of his.

He pulled back from you and avoided your gaze as he whispered:

"I can't lose you again."

You noticed him gripping at your bedsheets with his other hand and the pieces clicked together for you.

It wasn't that he thought you couldn't take care of yourself or that you were incompetent. He'd been so overbearing because he was afraid of losing you. You had guessed to an extent how rough that night must have been for him, but you had no idea about the magnitude of just how bad it was.

You felt your bed shift as he got up and your hands trailed off him as he pulled away.

"I'll be in the living room," he said quietly, still avoiding your gaze. "Call me if something happens again."

You reached out to him as he walked away.

"Levi, wait-!"

Your bedroom door was shut before you could finish your plea for him to come back, and you fell silent.

#: @levisbrat25 @gothgril69 @sckerman @berrijam @notgoodforlife @meowjaa @averysmolbear @roseofdarknessblog @bejewelledd @hhighkey @ayame236 @sad-darksoul @velouria17 @kamyru @l1zk4 @layenacreates @lamees004 @whoami-72 @highgoon69 @chaotic-on-main @levishotgf @nube55 @chosos-mascara @heichoucleanfreak @svftackerman @v4mp-wife @moonchild-angel @astri-ackerman @auriuswolve @noctemys

#tw: blood #tw: injury #tw: car accident #levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi heichou x reader #captain levi x reader #levi #levi ackerman #levi heichou #captain levi #modern!au levi #coffeeshop!au levi #college!au levi #fics: matcha

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bronx-bomber87 · 10 months

Text

Mid Week Review. Was able to watch the ep last night and jot down my thoughts. After this one only have 5 left in S1. Wild. Off we go.

1x15 Manhunt

The cold open is too funny. The "commercial" is hilarious LOL Poor Lucy struggled the most in it with her lines. They all find out they were pranked and it wasn't real. Lucy looking back and getting that reaction from Tim. I am dying haha Lucy is so embarrassed and slightly mortified. Not Tim he’s having a good time with this haha

Once again enjoying himself far too much at her displeasure hehe Who is this man? Not the Tim she had in very beginning that's for sure. Making jokes, being a goober, and laughing with the other T.O.'s having a grand old time. She really did this to herself ha I love it so much. I mean look at this man and his beautiful smile. He is having a blast and it shows. Truly a wonder to behold I gotta say.

Ep kicks off strong. There is a prison escape from a transport bus so Tim and Lucy are on the hunt. They round up one guy right away. Make quite the entrance saying there is only 6 left. I love this shot for the height difference between them. Always loved their tall/small thing. Makes me happy. I can't really explain why other than it does.

Afterwards they are assigned inside the search grid canvassing neighborhoods and such. Telling people who are out to stay indoors for now. They run into a little neighborhood militia not long after. They say they’re defending their neighborhood. The body language they both give to these dopes LOL. It's too damn good. If they could eye roll any harder with how they react to them they would haha These idiots try and do a citizens arrest for a gardener. Tim and Lucy both lay into them like a tag team. Getting them to back off and beat it. So fun to watch honestly.

Tim ends it with telling them if they see them out again they’ll get arrested. Cracks me up Lucy calls him on what the codes he used to scare them. She just can't help herself. Tim making jokes and being a sassy pants with her I adore it. Her little smile at him when he says ‘They don’t know that.’ it’s a theme in this one for Lucy. Just looking at Tim with smiles/heart eyes. I’m here for it.

Feds are involved much to Tim's dismay. Using their tactics to locate the remaining escaped prisoners. Everyone splits off after their debrief with them. Lucy and Tim go back to station to meet up with an informant of Tim’s. Says he'll know about one of the escaped convicts. Used to be in the gang the 54 who this prisoner is currently affiliated with. As they're walking up to meet his informant Lucy is asking about predictive analytics. It was brought up earlier in their meeting and Tim disagreed with its method.

So of course Lucy is going to probe more about it. Tim explains how it’s not as good as hitting the streets. That Feds rather use a computer than scuff their loafers. He’s so passionate about what he does and how he does things in patrol. Just look at her face above while he’s explaining why his way better than the fed's computer. She knows it’s something he’ll fiercely defend. Something he takes seriously and a little personally.

It’s why when Lucy tries to play devils advocate on the subject he asks her who’s side she’s on? Clearly not pleased with her defending this computer vs what he considers real police work. Lucy has learned where to pick her battles with Tim. She knows when to push something and when not to. This was not one of them. Lucy is adorable and says she didn’t know there were sides...but she’s on his definitely his LOL damn they cute.

Lucy instantly likes Deacon because he’s apart of Tim’s past. Something she has very little insight into other than Isabel. So she’s all over it when Deacon tells her he knew Tim when he was a rookie. Tim isn't loving this conversation. Its like the sign at the zoo. 'Don't feed the animals.' How Tim is feeling with this interaction haha He's putting up a sign says 'Don't feed Lucy details.' haha Deacon tells Tim that he likes her. Tim rolls his eyes and says he’s ‘Thrilled.’ You know you are sir. He’s proud of Lucy and the fact she's his rookie. Don't lie Timothy. Deacon continues by saying every time he see's Tim it's like a time machine for him.

I do adore Tim’s reaction when Deacon says only thing that's changed is the lines on his face. He's slightly offended by this. I love the way he looks at Lucy. Like checking in she still thinks he’s a handsome man. It’s ok love, you very much are. Just look at the heart eyes she’s giving you. Case and point above and below.

Also Lucy, girl you are at work. Put those things away madam haha She’s as transparent as glass and makes my heart happy. If her goal is to hide her attraction/admiration she is failing pretty hard lmao Like an open book this one. I do think she is really enjoying this guy razzing him so much. Just like Tim at the beginning of the episode she is relishing in his discomfort. What a pair these two.

Tim has a small talk with Angela before they leave. Asking if he’s changed at all since she’s met him. He's clearly more shaken up from his convo with Deacon then he originally lead on. Angela makes a crack and says he’s gotten more annoying. Ha poor Tim. He asks her to be more serious. She replies the Isabel situation changed him. He asks her if its for the better or not? Breaks my heart he doesn’t see the changes in himself. But he is seeing/sensing he needs to change something up though. Angela's reply to this all is the best part. This line right here is my fav of the scene.

Since he met Lucy Chen, Angela. Ever since he met her. Does things he never did before. Like this introspection. Before he would've shrugged that convo off. Buried it deep inside like he did everything else before. Put it in a little box never to be opened again. With her influence in his life he takes that convo little more to heart. Tim has no idea the amount he’s changed just from knowing her. The small things that if you’re not paying attention you’d miss. S1 has been incredible growth for his character.

I do love Angela's last shot at him as Tim and Lucy are leaving. That sweet little smile he gives when he hears Angela’s reply. I’ve always loved their friendship. She truly is one of his best friends. This scene is a good display of that. Of them being close. Being serious when needed but mainly giving each other shit haha Lucy looks confused but not unhappy he’s happy.

Tim and Lucy arrive at the house of Tim's informant. He’s currently protecting the prisoner they talked about. Unfortunately the gang he’s pissed off is waiting for them upon arrival. Nolan’s situation with his fugitive has taken most of their resources. So it’s just them against a whole gang to protect his informant and the prisoner. Lucy starts to get nervous when the gang begins wrecking their shop. Tim makes a joke it'll be a lot of paperwork for her. Lucy doesn't bite at the joke. You can see how nervous she is. She asks if at some point they give the 54 what they want. Weighing one life against the lives of many. Do they need to make that hard call?

Tim's reply is excellent. That strong sense of justice shining through in this moment. He can see Lucy isn't comfortable with their odds at all. Has to remind her like he did back in 1x11. That this is their job. What they signed up for. He's doing what he does best with her. Being her pillar while also injecting logic into the scenario they are currently in. He can sense her unease and is trying to alleviate it.

What I love most about this scene is Tim’s moral compass and bravery. It’s something Lucy most definitely likes as well. Also what she needs at this point in time. She's in awe of him when she says You’re willing to die for that guy? It’s in her inflection. She’s so impressed he would be willing to lay down his life for him. His reply to her cements this even further. The way he delivers his line. Phew lord. I think Lucy just fell a little more in love with him right here. She already been giving him heart eyes all day. This increased them ten fold. The way he stands up and lets Lucy see that confidence. How he refuses to let the 54 shake his resolve. He won’t let fear dictate what he knows is right.

The awe struck wonder in her eyes for him. My goodness. Earlier Angela brought up how Tim has grown since Isabel. This is further proof of that. He won’t ever allow fear to let him do something he would be ashamed of in the light of day. Amazing how much he's grown since that moment in 1x07. When his moral compass is on fire like it is right now, I think Lucy’s respect/admiration (and honestly her attraction) grows the most for Tim.

She’s getting a peak into Tim at his core. Who he is as a person. You can tell she very much likes what she sees. Nothing more attractive than a man with a plan and strong in his convictions IMO. Also who is confident in what he’s doing. Lucy needs to see that right now as she is rattled by the uneven numbers in their situation.

Deacon decides to go out and talk to them. They start to beat him up. Tim tells Lucy to stay inside. To protect their prisoner at all costs no matter what happens to him. Tim goes out to reason with the gang. To take the heat off Deacon and onto himself. Eventually the calvary shows up for them. Tim gets to look like a bad ass when they do. The way he says he’s never alone or out numbered. *fans self* always love me some confident Tim. I’ll take that all damn day.

This look between them speaks volumes. It shows the trust and bond that’s been built between them. She was worried and rightfully so but he kept her calm. He was steadfast for them both and she trusted in that. Leaned on him. She knew he would get them out of this situation and he did. That nod of his is Tim’s way of acknowledging all that. Thanking her for trusting him. That beautiful unspoken connection is on full display in this moment. Lucy is beaming from that nod. I love them so much. The ep ends for them there as far as scenes together go.

Tim's final scene is in Grey's office. That introspection Tim does leads him to decide to go for Sergeant. Says he's ready to take that next step. Grey asks what took him so long haha Lets him know it's going to require a lot of studying to prep. I LOVE this. We all know what moment this leads to. The impact Lucy has on his life is so immense. Lead him down this path. Makes me happy.

Always thank you all for your likes/comments/reblogs. These reviews are so fun for me to do. Even more so knowing others are enjoying it as well. See you all in 1x16 :)

#Caitlin rewatches The Rookie #chenford #chenford hiatus #summer rewatch #waiting on s6 #s1 #1x15 Manhunt #the rookie #tim x lucy #tim bradford #lucy chen #lucy x tim #eric winter #melissa o'neil #otp: doing my job #tim bradford x lucy chen

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ravenzeppeli · 1 month

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Praise Me Deeply |Formaggio x Male Reader Extreme Lemon|

Warning: strong language, dirty talk, rough/nasty sex, talk of exposing (consensual), ass eating, dom/sub relationship, humiliation/degrading. MA.

Commission for @johnnybwanny

"I love working with Formaggio," you told Risotto as you stood in front of his desk. "He's a great teacher. I really enjoy being under his wing."

Risotto nodded his head, "Are you just saying that due to any romantic feelings you have towards him?" He questioned, his dark eyes staring into your soul, making you slightly nervous.

"I promise I'm not," you quickly replied, telling only the truth to your capo as you always did. "He really is an amazing teacher. Working with him makes me uncomfortable. He honestly uses his stand so fucking well, I wish I had his self control."

"That's good to hear," he replied. Despite his face showing no emotion, you could tell he was pleased with what he was hearing. "That's the only reason why I called you into my office. I wanted to make sure you and Formaggio were compatible as partners." You wanted to smirk at that last part but refrained, thinking of a different kind of partnership than what he was thinking of.

You nodded your head, "do you need anything, boss?"

"I'm just going to send this last email to Polpo and leave. Lock up if you end up staying late again or sleeping the night at the base," Risotto told you, his eyes falling back to his computer. "One last thing, how professional would you say Formaggio was?"

You let a smile creep across your face, thinking of all of the times you and Formaggio have hooked up after completing a job. The rush you felt every single time you licked his ass, the total bliss you felt when he deeply fucked your hole and jacked off your cock, pushing you past the limits of pleasure. He was so addicting, better than any drug. You were so fucking into him. Everything about him made your cock twitch with excitement.

"He's extremely professional, and I'm really glad to be working with him," you told Risotto, him nodding his head once, letting you know that was all he needed from you. "Have a good night, Risotto. I'll see you tomorrow." You nodded back, walking away and leaving him to finish up his office work.

As you stepped out of his office door and closed it, you froze completely, seeing the familiar tanned shoes of Formaggio standing right in front of you. Your face completely turned red, hoping he didn't hear you. Before you could speak, he grabbed your wrist, dragging you down the hallway, making a right.

He pulled you into the bathroom all the way down the hall, shutting and locking the door. "You know what you just fucking did?" He questioned, voice hard as he flicked the bathroom lights on, his face showing no emotion, causing you to instantly worry. "Well, do ya?" He crossed his arms over his chest, his broad muscles being a slight distraction.

You shook your head, backing up a few steps. "I don't know what I did, but it was never my attention to disrespect you. I'm really sorry." You've never made him mad before.. you hoped that he wasn't mad at you, that you didn't say anything that might have upset him.

The serious expression quickly faded, a huge grin appearing on his face as he uncrossed his arms. "Aw, that's so cute. I'm not mad, I was just messing with you." He licked his lips, looking you up and down, his head nodding in approval. "I'm actually very happy with everything that I heard you say. I'm extremely happy if I'm being completely honest. You just made me look real good in front of Risotto."

"I meant every word I said," you told him, and you meant those words deeply. He really was a great teacher, and he was an even better partner. "I really like that you're my partner. I wouldn't want to work with anyone else but you."

"Still got that anal plug in your ass waiting for me?" Formaggio questioned, his question catching you completely off guard. You didn't want to say yes, despite the plug being firmly in your ass, keeping it stretched out and ready for him. "Shit, who am I kidding? You always obey me. Strip for me, I wanna see my student naked. Examine you."

You slipped your shoes off, "Well, of course. Anything for my favorite teacher." You smirked a little, slipping off your shirt, placing it on the bathroom sink. "What if Risotto hears us?" You unbuttoned your pants, pulling them down, revealing to him that you were wearing a dirty pair of his underwear. "Familiar?" You felt the blood rush to your cock, it suddenly springing to life in his underwear.

"You dirty boy," he muttered, leaning back against the bathroom door, his large erection standing firm in his pants. "So? We hear Sorbet and Gelato all the time, what's another couple fucking in here?"

You shrugged, slipping the underwear off. "Well.. I did keep the anal plug in like you asked. I even gave myself an enema beforehand and recorded it and sent it to you like you asked. Full face exactly like you wanted. I hope you enjoyed it, it was embarrassing for me."

"Fuck yeah I enjoyed it, I love adding to my personal collection of you," he replied, unbuttoning his pants, pulling his pants and boxers down, his cock springing to life. "Now, come be a good boy and suck all over my cock and balls. Do a bad job and I'll send the video to the group chat, shoe them how nasty you are. How you're my fucking slut."

You walked over to him, going down to drop to your knees, only to be stopped by him grabbing a fistful of your hair, yanking you to stand back to your feet. "What's wrong?"

"Where's my fucking kiss? You can't suck and fuck me downstairs if you haven't given me a little kiss yet. Fucks wrong with you?" He smacked your cock, a pained moan escaping your lips, causing him to repeat his action.

You pressed your lips against his, giving him a gentle kiss before pulling away, turning your head away slighly. "I really love kissing you.. it just makes me so excited." You felt precum drip from your cock, your face heating up once more. He was just so attractive, with his deep voice and firm body. So dominant, the kind of man that'll have you hooked for life.

"Show me how excited you are," he commanded, snapping his finger, pointing to his cock. "Don't use your hands. I only want throat and tongue."

"Yes, sir," you replied, dropping to your kness, taking his 8 inches in your mouth. You wasted no time, your head bobbing back and forth as you sucked his cock, your cock twitching with pleasure. You wanted to wrap your hand around your cock, you wanted to pump as fast as you could as you tasted his delightfully sour cock. You held back, knowing to only do what he tell you. During sex, he was in charge, just like he was at work. You loved being beneath him. You loved every second of it.

"I can't wait to tear that ass up, I know you're nice and stretched out for me." He patted the top of your head, a laugh escaping his lips. "I buy my slut the best anal plugs and cock rings, don't I?"

You nodded your head as you continued to suck his cock, his precum coating the back of your throat. You let your tongue swirl around his tip, feeling a sense of pride wash over you as a groan escaped his mouth.

"Yeah, suck that dick like you mean it. Then give my balls some love before you tongue fuck my ass. You gotta earn my cock in your ass, you gotta work hard." He continued to pat your head, pushing you down to his balls.

You placed a kiss on each one of his hairy balls, taking them in your mouth, sucking as you stared up at him. You saw pleasure all over his face, seeing him satisfied causing even more precum to spill from your cock. You let his balls sit in your mouth a few seconds, enjoying the taste of his sweat and musk before you pulled away.

As he turned around you stuck your face right in his ass, not bothering to spread his cheeks as you let his ass cheeks bury your face, your tongue quickly finding his hole as you began to slip your tongue in and out of his ass, your cock twitching uncontrollably as you bobbed your head up and down, tongue swirling In and out.

"You're so fucking good at that," he mutteted, his voice filled with dominance and pleasure. "Better be, I'll post clips of you fucking your ass with a cucumber all over the internet. Wanna be exposed?"

"No sir," you replied, your voice muffled as you kept your tongue in his ass. You sounded like a fool, just like he liked. He loved getting off on your humiliation, and you got off on being humiliated by him.

"Are you a little ass licker? Tell me how much you love licking my ass, keep your tongue in my ass," he told you, his voice slightly strained, as if he was about to bust. "Do it now!"

You kept your tongue deep in his ass as you spoke, "I love licking your perfect ass Formaggio. I worship your ass," you told him, sounding as if you were trying to talk with marshmallows filled in your mouth. "I love when you use me."

He grabbed a fistful of your hair, roughly yanking your head back. "Get into doggy style. I'm going to fuck you on this dirty bathroom ground, and I'm going to fuck you hard!" His voice was ran over with such excitement and dominance, causing you to instantly drop to the floor.

You arched your back, spreading your legs as your hard cock rested on the dirty bathroom floor. The bitter coldness causing a chill to run down your spine. You felt Formaggio behind you, slowly slipping the anal plug out of your ass, sticking it into your mouth.

"Since you made that comment about getting caught, this'll muffle that mouth of yours," he told you. He spread your ass cheeks, spitting a thick wad of his spit right into your stretched hole before he slipped in. "You don't know how good it feels to hear you talk good about me. I fucking love that shit." He began to thrust swiftly, his hands digging into your sides as he held you in place. "Suck on the plug ass licker."

You began to suck on the plug, low moans escaping your mouth as you felt his right hand drop from your waist, wrapping around your cock, pumping as he roughly thrusted in and out of you.

"Fuck," Formaggio groaned, filling your ass with hot cum. "You can cum now."

You came immediately after he said that, your cum filling his hand as you weakly collapsed on the bathroom floor, panting. "How are you so amazing at everything you do? I think that was the best sex I ever had."

He grinned, stepping over you, pulling the shower curtain back. "You say that everytime I fuck you. Good." He helped you up, guiding you into the shower as he stepped in with you. "Let me get you all cleaned up now."

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em-writes-stuff · 2 years

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Omg please continue whumptober day 5 it's sooo goood!!!

what am i, if not always willing to expand on a fic :)

i've been trying to finish this fic since you sent this ask in, but i lost inspiration. it ends abruptly and there's no proper end, but it's honestly all i'm gonna be able to do. i'll keep the fic in my drafts in case i can finish it one day, but i doubt i will

part one :)

@whumptober-archive

prompt: back from the dead, head trauma

characters: villain, medic, henchman, sidekick, hero

warnings: stitches, torture, pain meds, let me know if i've missed any

704 words

part one (my computer isn’t letting me add a link but i’ll do it as soon as i’m able)

___

Villain groans, he rolls onto his side and pulls his hand up to his eyes.

Medic springs up from his chair and holds him down. “Absolutely no moving. These stitches’ll probably tear from breathing too hard.”

Villain groans and lets Medic push him back onto the mattress. His head is foggy and his thoughts are too slow, but he knows something isn’t right.

“Where’s Henchman?” he asks, turning his head to stare at the empty chair where he usually sits.

Medic looks at the ground and clears his throat. “I don’t know for sure. The news says he went to Hero…after. After killing you.”

“Oh god,” Villain breathes. “She took him. We have to get him back.”

He tries to sit up again, hand pressed against where the bullet tore through him and cries out when Medic smacks him on the side of the head.

“Lay down,” he demands. “If you move again, I’m gonna tie you down. And trust me, you won’t be able to do anything then.” he glares at Villain, pushing him down and holding him there. “Now. What do you mean she took Henchman?”

“She took him. Sidekick shot me and she kidnapped him. Threw him in her car and drove away with him. He didn’t go to her.” Villain says.

Medic curses under his breath. “Ok. We can fix it. I have some people I can call, Mage is on her way, so is Hacker. They can help. I think Hacker’s almost gotten into Hero’s system and once that happens, we should be able to check on Henchman. It’ll be alright. But only if you close your eyes, go back to sleep and let yourself heal.”

Henchman spits blood on the floor, “Did that make you feel real strong and powerful?” he taunts. “I bet it did, huh?”

Hero pulls her fist back and sneers at him. “I’m just getting started.”

“I would hope so. My sister punches harder than that.” he retorts.

Sidekick watches from the corner, flinching away every time Hero lands a blow on the defenseless Henchman. She doesn’t understand why Hero didn’t just kill him. He won’t be able to tell them anything they don’t already know. And it wasn’t like he was going to switch sides after three days of being tossed around and starved.

“Just fucking tell me what I asked.” Hero spits.

Henchman groans, his chest rises and falls erratically as he fights to catch his breath. “I already fucking told you. I. Don’t know anything. Villain wouldn’t tell me what kind of food he was going to make for dinner- let alone anyone he’s ever worked with. It took me months to get him to trust me enough to go on a stakeout with him.”

His head pounds when she shouts something at him. She grumbles under her breath and storms out of the room, door slamming behind her.

Sidekick pushes off the wall and walks over to Henchman, pulling something out of her pocket. “Hold still,” she whispers. Something soft presses against his face and he stares at her, “Shut

up. I don’t want to have to treat an infection.”

“Don’t you have a medic or something for that?”Henchman says. He winces and pulls away from Sidekick, the rope holding him up creaks when he moves. “Even Villain has a medic,” he says.

Sidekick looks away, “Yeah. Well. Let’s just say Hero doesn’t want anyone knowing what we get up to. She was against even letting me buy a first-aid kit.”

She reaches her hand into her inside jacket pocket and pulls out a small water bottle. “If she finds out about this, I’ll be strung up right next to you.”

He nods and opens his mouth, letting her hold the bottle up to his lips and pour the water into his mouth. Before the bottle was empty, she pulled it away and took a small pill bottle out of her jacket.

“Want something for the pain? I only have tylenol but it should help a little bit.”

He nods eagerly and she drops the pills in his mouth before giving him the rest of the water. “Ok. I have to go now. You should have a few hours.”

#whumptober #whumptober2022 #whump #whump fic #hero whumper #villain whumpee #sidekick caretaker #henchman whumpee #em writes #em writes stuff #my writing #whumpee #whumper

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clarkgriffon · 2 years

Text

Stranger Things Season 4 (Volume 1): Thoughts

Overall, I enjoyed ST Season 4. I wasn’t as excited for it as the other seasons and it’s the first time I didn’t actually go back and do a rewatch before watching the season, but I still found myself entertained by the content.

My ranking of seasons before this was 1>3>2 and unless the final two episodes drastically change it, I imagine my ranking will be 1>3>4>2.

Where I think this season faltered was just... too many cooks in the kitchen. There were SO many plotlines. Here’s how I might have changed the plotlines:

Streamlined Eleven/Mike/Jonathan/Will’s plotline into one. I understand that this fundamentally changes El’s plotline as she needs to be alone for what they did, but honestly, I didn’t really vibe with the computer de-aged Eleven nightmare fuel simulation stuff. I would’ve much preferred combining her storyline with Mike, Jonathan, and Will’s because honestly? Mike, Jonathan, and Will felt useless this season. They had nothing to do with anything except that they were racing to save El- it felt like they were being sent off on sidequests (finding Suzie) because the writers didn’t know where to put them. Which is insane considering Mike is usually kind of the male lead of the show?

I would’ve just... changed Joyce and Hopper’s storyline. It was okay, I just found myself the most bored in both Joyce’s portions and Hopper’s concerning the Russian prison break. I love Joyce and I love Hopper, but that’s TWO extra storylines that again, seem separate from the main happenings of the season (Vecna). I’m not sure how this would’ve worked lore-wise and it also means David Harbour wouldn’t be seen until Episode 7, but I think it could’ve been really cool if Hopper was stuck in the Upside-Down and the teens stumbled upon him when they entered through the lake at the end of E6.

My favorite storyline was the Hawkins main plot, I thought the exploration of Robin/Nancy’s friendship was fun. I could’ve used a bit more of a real storyline for Dustin other than being like the main sleuth? Eddie was a welcome addition. Oh, also I would’ve axed the basketball team’s revenge storyline- it was simply an unnecessary take of screentime. I think the only thing we needed the basketball team for was Lucas’s initial struggle between hoping for conformity and being himself (which I loved).

The standouts of the season for me were Lucas and Max, particularly Max. I had never thought that much of her character before. I enjoyed her in S3, but she’s absolutely my favorite character now. The handling of her grief and complex emotions regarding Billy were *chef’s kiss* and definitely the reason Episode 4 was my favorite of the season.

Other interpersonal dynamics- the good and the bad; Steve and Robin continue to be amazing. I didn’t really think about how Robin would have to continue to be in the closet for literally all the other main characters and I found it super interesting- Dustin going “??? Why aren’t they together” and Nancy getting the wrong impression. Nancy and Steve... I just don’t understand it. I don’t really care about Jancy, but having them be irrelevant and pushing Nancy & Steve just makes me feel like these writers don’t know how to write a “together” couple, because this is exactly what happened when Jancy got together and Steve and Nancy were dating the first time. Every season, I feel like they have no idea what they’re doing with Nancy and this is no exception. Their exploration of Will and Mike’s relationship and *heavy* implication about Will’s feelings for Mike was amazing. I don’t ship it, mostly because Will deserves a lot better and Mike seems exceptionally straight, but Will’s feelings I eat up. Mileven this season was just kind of... whatever? They didn’t seem to be the focus, unlike other seasons and it showed.

Plotwise, I found the 001 twist pretty good actually. The pieces fit together nicely and while I knew the nurse in the lab was important, I really didn’t get the full picture until they laid it out to me.

#stranger things spoilers #stranger things #mira watches stranger things

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moviemunchies · 2 years

Photo

Wait, so it’s a family movie about the power of family bonds, without overbearing romantic subplot, and it’s about the Machine Uprising, making pointed satirical jabs at the modern tech industry?

Heck yeah, I’m into it.

The story goes something like this: the Mitchell family is not always cohesive as they’d like. Katie Mitchell is an aspiring filmmaker who doesn’t really get along with her outdoorsman, fix-it-yourself father, Rick. She’s about to start college at film school in California, but after an argument with her dad, Rick realizes that they’re drifting apart. His plan to fix this? A family road trip to take her from their home in Michigan to her film school.

Katie is not, as you might guess, thrilled.

But all is not well on this trip, because tech giant Mark Bowman is unveiling a new personal robot that will replace the AI everyone has on their phone, PAL. Except PAL is not thrilled about the idea of being made obsolete, and has been planning her own agenda. She takes over the robots and sends them to collect all of humanity. The only ones who manage to evade capture are the Mitchells, and so they’ve got to go and save the world by uploading the kill command to eliminate the army into the mainframe.

Family bonding and saving the world all in one! Hooray!

The key element here is the relationship between Katie and her father Rick, so if that relationship doesn’t work for you, the movie doesn’t work. I think it works overall, but I do get that for a lot of people, it might not, because part of what sets off this road trip is him accidentally breaking Katie’s computer, and it isn’t until the very end that he really has any sort of appreciation for what she does in filmmaking. But I think it’s important to note that A) he really does not understand anything about computers or how they work and B) part of this is, as displayed in the film, from his own experiences and his own dreams not working out. He wants Katie to succeed in her dreams, but he doesn’t understand it at all and his own dream to live in a cabin in the woods (which he does understand) didn’t work out, so he has trouble grasping how film school might.

A lot of the humor in this movie is based off of memes and amusing edits of shots and scenes. And that easily could be grating–there’s very little as annoying as people jumping on meme bandwagons long after they’re obsolete. But I think overall it works, because the film is using it to display Katie’s personality. She’s into computers and Internet culture in a way her father can’t understand at all. The movie also has plenty of its own original humor that doesn’t require understanding of popular Internet memes to understand.

Like Monchi. Oh, Monchi, you stupid dog, you.

I am happy to see that the main villain of the piece is not a twist villain. Not that I expected that from the trailers, but it’s very common, especially with Disney, to try to do a villain that’s some sort of twist. It’s almost standard for them at this point. And it’s annoying as all getout. The absolute worst was Frozen II, in which the twist villain was the sisters’ long dead grandfather in the backstory. No one cares!

PAL is not a twist villain. She’s just a villain. While she does get a somewhat sympathetic motivation for setting her plan in motion (her maker is planning on replacing her, and throws her away in front of an audience), it’s not as if she’s particularly sympathetic as she tries to wipe the human race from the world. She’s just kind of a massive dick all around.

Honestly, you could call the tech industry to be the real villain here. The movie doesn’t demonize technology–it’s what Katie uses to make her dreams come true after all–but how the tech industry really does not think about anything it does other than to push technology past the limits to make things more convenient, without considering that maybe, building an army of robots and ticking off the AI you designed was a bad plan.

The animation is gorgeous, of course. It doesn’t play around with style in the way another Sony Animation feature, Into the Spider-Verse does, but it still uses a very distinctive and colorful style that sets it apart from Disney and Dreamworks.

Characters are all fun–aside from Katie and Rick, Aaron’s a standout, as a kid who just really loves dinosaurs but doesn’t quite know how to talk to people otherwise. And I get it, kid–dinosaurs are awesome, and yeah it’s a shame that more people don’t know they have feathers. I’d talk to him about dinosaurs (assuming I picked up the phone–I don’t usually for numbers I don’t know).

There are some fun action sequences–the mall one stands out. This being an animated comedy of course the action scenes are silly, but they’re still very memorable and fun to watch.

Also! I realize that no one really cares, but: I’m a little disappointed that the song that Rick and Katie bond over is not, in fact, “Dragostea di Tei”, but actually “Live Your Life.” We all know the “Numa Numa” song was more meme-able, don’t we?

[And I don’t know where to put this! But! Apparently this movie was originally titled “The Mitchells vs. the Machines,” but the title was changed to the generic and dumb-sounding “Connected”. It was then changed back to the original title, and I’m very glad because it’s much more memorable.]

I liked this movie, and I thought it was loads of fun. I don’t think it’s quite as good as something like Into the Spider-Verse, but that doesn’t change that it’s a solid animated comedy with a good story, lovable characters, and I think it’s a worthy animated feature. Watch if you have the time. You’ll enjoy it.

#Mitchells vs the Machines #Movie Munchies #reviews #Sony Animation

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sarah-dipitous · 10 months

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Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 173

As Time Goes By

“As Time Goes By”

Plot Description: Sam and Dean are stunned when a man who claims to be their grandfather, Henry Winchester, suddenly appears to stop a demon named Abbadon

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: well, um. I think I’d be okay. I don’t think they’d allow me into this secret society and I sure wouldn’t wanna join. I’m golden

I remember Abbadon being a fun villain. Wonder if I’m right

You’re probably VERY LUCKY that Sam and Dean’s existence potentially depends on your survival otherwise Dean would have your head for smashing Baby’s window like that

“Guys time traveling through motel closets. That’s what we’ve come to?” Babes, I was thinking the same thing. This show is so goddamn weird

Dean. Do you hate time travel because you had a bad time every time you’ve done it??

Could this man make a worse first, second, and third impression on his grandsons??

They’re legacies for the Men of Letters…who apparently detest hunters

This episode is really weird because they’re spending a lot of time showcasing how archaic Henry is particularly by how he treats technology (tries to use Sam’s phone both like a walkie talkie and a phone that requires you call an operator first and then scoffs at the idea that you could fit a computer in the room they’re in). But the thing is, he’s from 1958, and that was, AT MOST, yesterday for him. So when you take that AND his attitude toward hunters…I’m just…it’s weird BECAUSE the Men of Letters feels both like the more sophisticated and studious of the factions AND just an old boys club. Like, in a “women can’t join but they can be a branch’s secretary.” I dunno, it feels like they’re pushing us to be mad at the more intellectually inclined yet more sexist group but since we’ve been with the boys for SEVEN AND A HALF SEASONS, we’re more likely to take the side of the…not anti-intellectual but definitely “find a way to kill it and then kill it” and marginally less sexist (women CAN be hunters, they’re just. so. fucking. rare.) when the probable BEST course would be a compromise which is what Sam and Dean COULD BE, but they’re messes too

I can’t believe Henry just asked them if they’ve ever exhumed a body…this is the exhuming bodies show

Aw please don’t kill the alt girl working at the comics shop

☹️ John used Henry’s journal this whole time

Dean’s got some real complicated feelings (UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE CENTURY). He started his little recap of John’s life sounding really angry at Henry still (though it’s looking like Henry’s not making it out of this episode alive) but ended in a tone of “he didn’t turn out so bad, despite it all” (which…yeesh, Dean…) Okay, but then he turns around and seems mad again. Please. Yes. Go take a walk. There are SO MANY LAYERS I could sort through here. Just…ALL the generational trauma

Noooooo, not the alt girrrrrrrrrl

Ok. Yeah. Abbadon is a fun villain, even if she killed the alt girl

Oh. I hate that for her. Hope she gets better. Honestly, it’s like Deans just going up the chain of “who’s to blame for my shitty childhood/life?” And like…you can start and end with John, but Dean’s not gonna fully commit to that. No. He’s gotta blame Azazel, Henry, Abbadon…and he’ll probably blame a lot more before this series is done. But for now, he’s chipped Abbadon’s head off and promised to dismember her and spread her remains far and wide. I’m just curious now how she’s gonna come back…I checked imdb for something else and she’s supposed to play this character for at least another episode

There’s something…a little morbid about Sam talking about how they’re legacies to the Men of Letters while standing at the grave sites of the vast majority of the very last Men of Letters.

#hellsite nostalgia tour 2023

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starsandsoulmates · 3 years

Text

Bedwars God

Dream x Reader

Request - So this is a dream x reader in real life the reader is a Minecraft youtuber, so I want their personality based off of LDshadowlady, basically like a soft girl, very friendly that can build cute stuff but know hot to pvp etc etc. And dream is like the biggest simp every. Anyways hope you have a good day bai bai

Summary - You are a twitch streamer and Dream donates to you asking for a 1v1.

Word Count - 1.6k

A/N - I’m a little bit rusty with my writing skills but I hope that you guys enjoy this! Keep the requests coming in so I can keep working on my characterizations!

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When the Twitter notification had popped up, you honestly hadn’t been expecting it. You stared for a few moments at it before it fully registered. Dream, the Dream, had just followed you on Twitter, the manhunt, Dream smp, Dream. After a brief moment of intense freaking out, you decided to draft a tweet, and a few failed attempts later you finally sent the tweet.

@yourtwitterhandle

Dream followed me so I’m basically in the big leagues now. I’ll remember all of you once I’m famous. 😎

You smiled a little and scrolled through the replies of your fans freaking out about this news. They honestly were almost as excited as you were about this new development.

Dream had been a huge inspiration to you when you had started streaming only a few months ago. Seeing the success he was able to achieve just by having fun with his friends was enough to push you into finally pressing the start stream button on Twitch. Of course, it had been a rocky start but now you had gained a following and were averaging about 10,000 viewers per stream. Your streams consisted of anything from Bedwars to building on your Minecraft world that you started the day you started streaming.

After a bit more time of scrolling through the replies on your tweet, you decided to finally get up and start to set up your stream for the day. You sent a quick tweet about streaming in 20 minutes and started to get ready. You checked all of your devices to make sure that they were running properly before turning on the stream starting soon screen. The chat exploded to life when the stream went online. It was filled with hellos and disbelief about the Dream follow. You giggled a little as you read through the chat before unmuting your mic for a moment.

“Hey guys just finishing up setting some things and I will be on. I’m going to drop a poll in chat on what you guys wanna see today,” You said happily as you booted up Minecraft.

You muted the mic again and started the poll before turning back to opening up Minecraft. You glanced at the poll and saw that Bedwars was winning by quite a bit so you decided to just log into Hypixel now. Once you were in the Hypixel lobby and you had nicked yourself, you finally let the stream see your screen. You turned on the camera and unmuted your mic.

“Hello, guys! How are you guys doing today,” You paused for a few moments to let your eyes roam over the chat, “I’m doing good, thank you so much for asking!”

“Okay let me do the donos I missed when I was setting up…” You read out all the donos you had missed and the gifted subs as well thanking your viewers and finally, you joined the Bedwars lobby.

“Okay so I think we are going to start off with some Bedwars today and then we can decide what to do after. How long am I going to stream?” you read from the chat, “I’m not exactly sure yet at least an hour or so we’ll see how long I can go before I get tired.”

You started to play Bedwars and got a mixed bag of good clutches and the inevitable failing at speed bridging. The stream was going perfectly with your viewers interacting with you and you having fun as well. At least until the dono came in that made you walk off the bridge you were in the middle of constructing to Blue’s base.

The monotone voice readout, “Hey, love your content we should definitely 1v1 sometime.”

The dono wasn’t particularly unusual but the fact that it was $100 and from dreamwastaken was the part that made you fall off the bridge.

“DREAM! You didn’t have to donate that much,” You paused to collect yourself and reorientate in the Bedwars game. “I would love to 1v1 you some time, I mean I think I’m pretty good at pvp but I don’t think that I’m that good at pvp.”

The chat was going absolutely insane at the dono and they were also calling the both of you simps. Dream for even donating in the first place and you for falling off the bridge when he donated.

You laughed softly at the chat, “Chat shush I am not a simp, it just caught me off guard that’s all.”

The stream from there on out was relatively normal with a few more Bedwars victories in the bag. After almost two hours of streaming, you decided to wrap up the stream.

“Okay, guys I think I need to head out and get some work done. I love you guys all so much and thank you for being here today. And an extra thank you for anyone who donated, subbed, or gifted subs. Remember to follow my Twitter it's the exact same as my twitch name. I usually announce when I’m going to stream on there as well as any other updates. Thank you guys so much and I will see you next time,” You said with a huge smile covering your face as you ended the stream after sending all of your viewers over to Tubbo who had started streaming towards the end of your stream.

Once you turned everything off and pulled up the latest video you had been editing, the notification ding distracted you away from your computer. For the second time in the day, you stared in disbelief at a Twitter notification.

Dream - Hey, I would really like to 1v1 you some time. I have been watching your content for a while now and I am a huge fan of what you make. Let me know when you want to do the 1v1. We can do it for a stream or a video. It's you to you :)

You - It means so much to me that you have been liking my content, I am a huge fan of yours as well. I am honestly free pretty much whenever. I need to make a new video so if you want to record a couple of rounds of pvp and maybe some bedwars with me then I can upload it to my channel.

Dream - Yeah that sounds good, I am actually free right now if you wanna hop on Hypixel and record now?

You - Yeah that sounds good I just sent you a discord friend request.

Your hands were practically shaking as you booted Minecraft back up. Dream was going to make a video with you. You were going to play with Dream. Your anxiety was only heightened when Dream accepted your friend request and added you into a VC. You took a slow breath and clicked on the VC and joined.

“H-hello,” You stuttered out softly as you tried to calm your nerves.

“Hey! Sorry if this seems out of the blue I really have been a fan for a while and I thought a 1v1 challenge would be fun,” Dream said and you could practically hear the smile in his voice.

“It’s fine, I just didn’t expect it. Like I said, I’m a huge fan so I’m just a bit shocked,” You chuckled a little feeling your nerves relax, “I’m on Hypixel now if you wanna get on, I say we do some 1v1s first.”

“Sounds good, are you recording now?” Dream asked as you glanced down at your recording software.

“Yep, but don’t worry I’ll send you the video before I post it so you can make sure you don’t mind any clips that I add,” you said as his character in the game ran towards you.

“You ready?” Dream asked with a smirk in his voice.

“Don’t get cocky yet green man, you’re going down,” You quipped back.

You and Dream 1v1ed a total of 11 times with Dream winning 6 and you winning the other 5.

“I told you not to be too cocky,” you giggled as he yelled about how you had managed to beat him 5 whole times.

“No! I only challenged you because I thought I would destroy you,” He said jokingly with a loud laugh accompanying the statement.

You laughed as well before rolling your eyes, “I told you not to get too cocky Dream, now let’s play some bedwars because I am going to destroy you.”

Dream scoffed a little and joined the party you had created. The beginning had been a little awkward but now the two of you were slowly falling into a rhythm. You started to feel more and more comfortable with the man and the teasing had only been heightened. The taunts during the bedwars game had both of you in stitches with Dream’s iconic kettle laugh only making you laugh that much harder.

“Oh sorry did my beauty distract you?” You laughed as you watched Dream fall off of his bridge.

“Oh shut up,” Dream countered weakly which only served to make you laugh that much harder.

The two of you ended up playing 4 rounds of Bedwars with Dream winning only a single round. He had raged for a few minutes after you had finished up the final round.

“Sorry Dream but Bedwars is my territory. You should have known better than to play with me,” You said with a huge smile.

“Oh come on, you were definitely using hacks. That was like a 1 in 7.5 trillion chance,” Dream said which sent you and consequently him into a fit of laughter.

“You’re so stupid,” You said with a smile before turning off the recording software. “Thank you for playing with me today, it’s always good to help people practice their bedwars skills.”

“You’re so annoying,” Dream whined before chuckling softly. “But yeah I had a really good time today, we definitely need to do this again.”

#dream minecraft #dream smp #dreamwastaken #dream x reader #dreamwastaken x reader #sapnap x reader #georgenotfound x reader #georgenotfound #sapnap #mcyt #mcyt x reader #wilbur soot x reader #wilbur soot #wilbur #wilbur x reader #karl jacobs #karl jacobs x reader #quackity #quackity x reader

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dumbmusclehypnojockboy · 3 years

Text

Jersey Bros by writer-ofstuff

"So, how did these two do?"

"What do you think? Failures. Just like the others have been."

"I don't know. I wouldn't say they were total failures." The lead scientist mused.

"Sir? What do you mean? The super soldier serum didn't work." His assistant said.

"Yes, while that is true, it does tells us we are on the right track to perfecting it." The scientist said. He types on the computer and brings up their two subject's readings to show his assistants what he means.

"Look at their readings. Their DNA is already changing due to the serum. Which means we are closer to our breakthrough. We just need to do some more adjustments to the formula to get it exactly what we want it to do." He explains.

His assistants nod their heads in understanding and then busy themselves with work that the lead scientist instructs them to begin.

"Sir, what should we do with these two?" One of the asked, gesturing towards the two men who lay asleep on the metal table in the next room.

"Toss them out on the beach. They are no longer of any use to me now." He says dismissively.

The assistant nods his head and calls up a few soldiers who stood guard outside to help take Dean Winchester and Derek Hale's sleeping forms out of the lab and into a truck. Driving them down to an isolated part of the beach just as the morning sign rises and leaves the two sleeping men on the sandy beach.

------

Derek awakes with start, sitting up and looking out at the ocean while the gentle waves wash up and down the sand shore. He rubs his hand through his hair, not caring he is getting small pieces of sand in it.

He feels like he is forgetting something, like the last few hours there is just a hole in his memory. Derek turns his attention to the man sleeping close by him. The werewolf rolls his eyes when he hears Dean starting to snore rather loudly. He has a hard to believing this guy his a feared and bad ass hunter when he is passed out with his ass up in the air and a little drool coming out of his mouth.

Derek doesn't quite remember why he and this hunter teamed up, that being part of the missing pieces in Derek's memories. Yet he still for some reason remembers meeting Dean.

Derek gets to his feet and walks the short distance between himself and the sleeping hunter and lightly kicks him with his foot. The action jars Dean away who quickly rolls over and hits up, sand falling off his face from where he had laid asleep.

"Wake up."

"Wha? I am up." Dean says in a sleepy voice. Rubbing his face clean of the drool and the sand that was still on his face.

"Derek? Why are we on a beach?" Dean asked.

The hunter had sounded just as confused as Derek felt. So Derek doubts asking Dean if he knew what was going on here would be of any help.

"Come on, let's get out of here." Derek says.

He offers his hand out for Dean to take to help the other man up. As soon as their hands make contact a strange feeling jolts through both men's hands. The two men are so startled they let go of their hands and Dean falls on his ass.

"Oops, sorry bro." Derek says.

He frowns when he thinks about why he just referred to Dean as bro. That wasn't a word that Derek would use yet it just slipped out when he spoke. Derek thought nothing of it, besides Stiles said bro all the time so it must have just slipped into his speech.

Thinking about Stiles, Derek started to wonder where the younger man was. He had an odd feeling that he had been looking for him and grew tense at the thought.

'Was Stiles endanger and he didn't remember it?' He thought for a moment. But then his mind felt a little dizzy and then he thought about how the younger man is just at home relaxing.

Derek glances at Dean who looks lost in thought as well. Derek wants to ask him what he is thinking about, but he refrains from it. Dean was a hunter so Derek didn't want to bother to get to know the other man.

Now that he thinks about it, why was he even with Dean? He asks the human and sees Dean's confused frown deepened as he pauses walking.

"Huh, I don't know either." Dean said.

This honestly should alarm both men, yet Derek felt himself feeling relaxed instead. He assumes Dean feels the same way since the other man doesn't make a move to get away from Derek by walking in the other direction.

As they continue to walk side by side down the sandy empty beach Derek's mind wonders. Thinking about how the pair ended up on the beach anyway. Surely there was a reason wasn't there? At the moment he couldn't think what the reason was. When he asked Dean the other man shrugged his shoulders and didn't say a word.

When Derek stole a glance at him he frowned when he noticed that Dean's hair looked lighter than before.

'Wasn't his hair brown?' He thought to himself while he looked at Dean's now bleach blond hair. The hair style even looked different. Looking a little longer and styled differently with hair products to give Dean a fluffy faux hawk style hair do.

The hairstyle even made Dean look younger to Derek. The older man now looks like he is around Derek's age instead of a man pushing into his late thirties.

This was really starting to confuse Derek, but the more he pondered what was going on here the more those thoughts left his mind and he got distracted by something else.

"Did you change your hair?"

Dean hears Derek ask and he turns his attention to the werewolf.

"Sorry, what?" Dean asked. He wasn't really paying attention to what Derek said. Busy in his thoughts about why he was on a beach with a werewolf.

"Your hair. It looks different." Derek said.

Dean touched his hair, feeling how it was a little stiff from the hair product he put in this morning after his shower. It felt like his usual style, telling Derek as such.

When Dean looks over at Derek it's his turn to be confused since Derek's facial hair looked different. He could have sworn Derek had a thick amount of stubble along his jaw and around his mouth. Yet now Derek's face was all clean shaven except for some scruff that covered his chin.

Dean had intended to ask Derek about it, but he then thinks against it. After all it would sound rather odd to ask Derek that. Since obviously Derek just had the chin scruff prior, Dean must have just been mistaken is all.

He started to second guess himself, wondering what if something was going on here with himself and Derek. Especially since he couldn't quite explain why the two were even together in the first place.

The two men reach the boardwalk and continue to walk side by side in silence. The pair were both lost in their own minds trying to make sense of what they were doing when Dean noticed a gym to their right.

He pauses and stands outside it, looking inside through the glass windows. When Derek notices he isn't by his side the werewolf pauses and turns around.

"You alright bro?" Derek asked.

His voice sounded off to him and he clears his throat and asks again.

Dean didn't answer him so Derek walked up to stand beside him. He peers through the window of the gym like Dean is doing.. For a moment nothing happened but then Derek starts to get flashes of memories in his head. He sees himself inside the gym, working out with Dean. The two chat like they are best friends while they spot one other while they work out.

The memories he recalls aren't really, he knows this, but at the same time they feel like they are real to Derek and he hates that.

"Come on bro, let's get goin yeah?" Derek asks. Again his voice sounds off to him, but he can't quite place why.

"In a bit dude, I need to see somethin." Dean replies.

Derek opens his mouth to say something, but before he could Dean confused walking into the gym without another word.

"Fuckin hell." Derek grunted.

He paced a little outside, debating on what he should do. Running his hand through his hair, as soon as his hand falls back to his side his hair shifts. The sides shaving down to a buzz style while the mid section of his hair style back as it lengthens.

He thinks about just leaving Dean. Clearly something strange is going on here and that is the reason they feel holes in their memories while also having these fragments of new memories.

"Fuck it." Derek grunts and follows Dean into the gym.

------

Dean can't explain the urge he felt to go into the gym. Like Derek he gained those similar memories of himself and the other man coming here. In those false memories it seemed like they were close friends despite the two men hardly knowing one another.

He told himself this was to get to the bottom of things. Instead though Dean just wanders through the main area of the gym. He only sees men in the gym, some guys alone working out while others are grouped up and chatting while jogging on the treadmill.

What makes it strange is how some of them address him by his name, as if they know Dean. Rather than question how they know him Dean just rolls with it, greeting them back. While he does and continues deeper into the gym. His body alters, muscles becoming more toned and defined. Gained from years of working put and maintaining this kind of physique rather than Dean having earned it through training.

The tattoo on his left pec that wards of possession starts to break apart. The ink traverses along Dean's chest under his shirt. Wisps of ink branch off to spread along Dean's arms while the rest form into different styles of tattoos.

More false memories bombard Dean's mind and the hunter clenches his head as he attempts to push those new thoughts out of his mind. He looks ahead of him Dean sees he is standing a few steps away from a large wall mirror. He can see his green eyes darken and for a brief moment he fears he is being possessed by a demon.

"Demon? Demon's don't exist," he then thinks.

His green eyes turn brown, his lips get a little fuller, nose wider and the bridge of it becomes slimmer. Dean grunts, watching his face change before his eyes and unable to do anything but throw his arms up and start to pose. Smirking at his biceps and admiring how large they are. Giving into the admiration of his own appearance finally pushes Dean over. His mind purging his own self from it finally as his new dimwitted and vain self takes over.

He lifts his shirt up to admire his hard earned abs and pecs next once he has had enough flexing. Only stopping to look around and wonder where his best bro is at.

📷

----------

Navigating through the gym was making Derek feel uneasy. What connection he had left to his werewolf abilities was telling him something wasn't right about this place. The men he walked by all seemed like the same type. Self absorbed meat heads who cared only about themselves and showing off.

Derek despised shallow men like this. So whenever any of them tried to stop and talk to him he would give them a glare and ignore them to continue his search for Dean.

The further Derek ventured into the gym the harder it was to recall past memories of his. Thoughts he would have would shift to random things.

'I'm totally bigger than that dude.'

'Jason's here? May need to see if he wants to fuck in the locker room again.'

'Mike's here too. Should talk to him about getting another tat.'

'Where the hell is Dean at? My bro needs to spot me.'

Derek tried to shove those thoughts away but it felt like the more he tried to, the more adamant they were to linger in his head.

He needed to find Dean and get out of here. When he reaches the back area of the gym he finds a tattooed dude posing in front of the mirror.

Derek thought of what a self absorbed guido the guy was. The type of guy you would hate on a trash reality show. He releases only to realize a moment later that this man was somehow Dean.

Astonished, Derek quickly approaches Dean, opening his mouth to ask what happened to him.

"Looking good bro." He says instead. Taken aback by his own words.

Dean turns to look at him and grins.

"You see yourself bro? You hitting the iron hard ya?" Dean replies.

Derek wants to deny it, but he can feel his body surging with muscle. He tries to repel the ongoing changes, but it proves to be useless. His pecs inflate to large and firm pectorals. While his biceps gained quite a bit of bulk to them. The rest of him gained a significant amount of solid muscle while Derek also felt himself growing a little taller.

His pale skin darkened with a tan gained from walking around shirtless and hitting the tanning bed when he could.

Derek tries even harder to repel these alterations happening to him. Not wanting to end up like some self absorbed dick like Dean had become. He assumes being a werewolf has given him an edge that made whatever caused this work slower on him.

He can feel himself being overweight by whatever this is, wincing when two diamond studs appear in his earlobes and his mind shatters a few moments later. Derek stood there in a daze while his old thoughts were overrun by a new persona.

Derek then blinks himself awake, a slow grin spreading on his face as he flexes for Dean.

"Fuck yeah bro. You know I gotta keep this bod in shape for the studs." Derek said with a heavy Jersey accent.

He stands beside Dean and the best bros make faces and pose for a picture. Uploading it to social media before the pair get back to their workout routine. Neither of them remembering anything of their past selves.

📷

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hispipsqueak · 3 years

Text

Good Little Pet

Satan x F!Reader - NSFW

WC: 2.5K

TW: pet play, anal play, choking, master/pet dynamics, maid outfits, light degradation, unprotected sex

A/N: I’ve been on a huge Satan kick lately. I roast the hell out of him, but would I still die to be his kitten? You bet! Sorry I’ve been MIA for a bit. I have so many fics I’m working on, and not enough time in the day. Thank you for all the support friends. <3 I see your tags and they honestly make my entire life! Also I did proofread this, but I’ve also been staring at it for a week so plz don’t hate me if there’s typos! :D

All characters are 18+

The House of Lamentation had been unusually relaxed today. Most of the brothers were out, leaving only three home. Surprisingly the room was mostly silent as Levi had his headphones on as he played his game and even Mammon had been quiet, as he fiddled with his D.D.D.

Satan thumbed through a mystery novel as he sipped his tea. Though he usually preferred to read in his room, the ambience here was relaxed enough for once, that he could focus.

Until the door opened and Asmodeus walked in, dragging you behind him laughing. The two of you had been out shopping and the stack of boxes you held towered above you.

"Ah, Satan could you help me with this?" You asked, giggling about something Asmo had said. Sighing as he placed his bookmark, Satan reached over to help you with the boxes, revealing your smiling face and the cat-ear headband you had on top of your head.

"Satan, isn't MC adorable as a cute cat?! Nya for us MC!" Asmo asked. You rolled your eyes, but put your hand up in a paw shape, letting out a sweet "nya". Satan's eyes widened and he could feel heat rising into his cheeks. He quickly turned around.

"Uh, yes of course. I'll be going back to my room." He placed the boxes on the floor and hurried away as you and Asmo looked at each other confused.

Satan closed his door behind him and pressed his back to the wooden frame.

Satan often considered himself to be more level headed than most of his brothers, but he couldn't deny his attraction to you. Still, he showed less emotion outwardly than the rest of the brothers and he prided himself in that. However, seeing you in those cat ears, giving cute little meows as your eyes gazed up at him? Satan could feel his growing erection tenting his pants.

He had seen one of Levi's games a while back that featured a cat girl in a scantily clad maid outfit on the front cover. Now, he pictured you in the same outfit, cat ears atop your head, your skimpy dress leaving little to the imagination as you knelt in front of him, your lips parted waiting for your master's orders.

Fuck. He let out a shaky breath as the image of you bent over his desk, collared and begging for him to fuck you now entered his mind. His hand slid down to his throbbing cock, desperately wanting release.

A knock at the door interrupted him.

"Satan? You left your book and your tea. I brought it for you." Your voice called out, tentatively.

Shit. Satan looked around wildly. before sitting at his desk to hide his obvious arousal.

"Come in." He called out hoarsely, hoping you didn't notice the quiver in his voice.

You opened the door, still wearing those damned ears and looked concerningly at him.

"Are you feeling alright? You rushed out of there and your face is really red." You placed his things on the desk as you walked towards him, avoiding the precarious stacks of books around the room. He quickly grabbed a book from the top of a pile and placed it on his lap as you approached him.

"I'm fine, just got lost in thought." He lied. You raised an eyebrow but didn't press it. The pile of books next to him chose that moment to clatter to the ground and before he could react, you knelt down in front of him to pick up the fallen books.

He looked down at you and bit his lip so hard he tasted blood. You looked up at him innocently, identical to the naughty visions of you in his mind.

You placed a hand on his knee and he let out a low groan. Your eyes widened.

"Satan? I-"

"Come down for dinner!" Asmo's voice chirped out from outside the door. You stood up and turned.

"Do you want me to let them know you're not feeling well? I can bring you something back."

Satan nodded. He had to really take care of the very pressing issue at hand and knew he wouldn't be able to sit through an entire agonizing meal.

----

"Pass the salt, Asmo."

"I didn't hear a 'nya', MC." Asmo giggled, poking his tongue out at you. Your hand flew to your hair.

"I forgot I had these on!" You laughed.

"Let's hope Satan doesn't see those." Levi muttered.

You cocked your head. "What do you mean."

Levi's face flushed. "Uh...no reason, er, nothing!!!"

You narrowed your eyes at the reddening demon.

"Satan's obsession with cats doesn't stop at real cats. Didn't he get obsessed with that stupid cat girl game?" Belphie yawned, sliding his half-finished plate to Beel who dug in happily.

"You mean Neko Magic Maid♡. It wasn't even that good of a game!" Levi said, "It definitely wasn't as good as SuperStar Magic Maid…"

"Yeah. I don't think he was interested in the storyline." Mammon interjected, laughing.

Lucifer scolded the brothers for being crass but your mind wandered. Was that why Satan was acting so weird? After dinner, you headed to Levi's room.

"Hey Levi! I was wondering more about that game you were talking about? The catgirl one?"

Levi didn't even turn from his computer screen. "Yeah it's on that shelf. But if you really like the Magic Maid series you should start with Springtime Magic…AHHH HE'S RESPAWNED!" He yelled, ignoring you again for the game he was currently playing.

You grabbed the game and slipped out of his room quietly. Glancing at the cover you saw a cat girl dressed in a ridiculously short maid costume. Her ears and tail were perked up and she donned a black collar around her neck with a little bell and tag that read 'Master'.

You grinned as you headed to your room. This would be fun.

----

"Satan?"

"Come in."

Satan turned the page in his book. Thankfully after that disastrous night, you hadn't worn that headband again, though he'd be lying if he said the image from you that day hadn't been filling his mind as he jerked his cock each night.

He heard you step into the room, but you didn't say anything. Looking up, his jaw dropped.

You were dressed in a maid outfit somehow more revealing than the one from the game. Your breasts were practically popping out of the dress, and the short skirt barely covered your ass. He could see the slight bulge of your thighs over top of your sheer thigh-high socks and he had the urge to bite that spot over and over.

You had the cat ears on again and as you walked towards him, he could hear a jingling noise. Glancing at your neck he saw a simple black collar with his name on the tag and a silver bell.

"MC what are you doing?" He breathed out shakily. You placed your hand on his chest, gently pushing him into his desk chair.

"Taking care of you…Master." You knelt down on the floor and looked at him expectantly.

Satan blinked rapidly. He had to be dreaming.

"Can I please you, Master?" You asked. He nodded, at a loss for words, and you began to unbutton his pants, freeing his rapidly hardening cock. Your hands wrapped around it squeezing, and you slowly moved up and down. Satan let out a groan.

You moved closer, pressing your lips to the tip of his cockhead before lapping at the beads of precum from the slit. You slid his length into your warm, wet mouth and looked into his eyes, swirling your tongue around his cock. This elicited another grunt from the blonde demon.

As you bobbed up and down on his length, he rested his hand on your hair, gently pushing you deeper on his cock. You moaned around him and the vibrations made his heart race. He looked down at you, and noticed the tail that led to under your skirt.

The realization set a switch off in his brain. He bucked his hips, forcing more of his cock into your mouth.

"Ohhhh fuck. That's it kitten. You like choking on Master's cock?" He asked, his fingers gripping tightly to your hair. You could only gag around him as a response, and the noises you let out were absolutely sinful.

"Such a good little pet. Your throat is squeezing me so well, kitten. But you can go deeper, can't you? Don't you want to please your master?" He asked.

Frantically you nodded and forced even more of him down your throat, trying your best to breathe out of your nose. As you tried to pull back, his grip tightened, holding you firmly in place. Your eyes watered as you felt his cock throb in your throat and your vision blurred, from tears or lack of oxygen, you weren’t sure. He pulled back and you gasped for air, tear streaked face looking up at him. Satan panicked, apologies already forming in his head before you grinned and pulled him back into your mouth.

“Fuuuuck, such a good kitten. Addicted to master’s cock.” Satan groaned out, his eyes closing as you found your pace on his length. He could feel his release creeping up on him, a fiery feeling in the core of him as your mouth enveloped his cock. The room filled with soft pants and the jingling of the bell around your neck. He met your eyes as you continued to take him deeper. He wouldn’t last much longer if you kept like this.

“That’s it kitten, that’s it. You want master’s milk? Want your cute belly full of your master’s cum? Tell me, kitten.”

You whined around him, releasing his cock from your lips.

“Please master. Need to please you. Want your cum.” Your eyes were glassy with tears and drool dripped down the corners of your plump lips. Satan wished he could snap a picture of you looking so lewd.

“Good girl. Milk my cock kitten. Milk my fucking cock.” He gasped as you sped up around him, sloppier and more vigorously than before. Spit coated your chin and spilled onto his thighs as you wrapped your tongue around his cock.

“FUCK! Fuck, just like that!! Oh fuck, cumming!! Take it all, kitten. Fucking take it.” Satan wailed, his muscles tensing as he shot load after load down your throat. You struggled to swallow everything, with some dripping off your lips. Breathing hard, he scooped it with his finger, pushing it back into your mouth.

“Don’t waste a drop kitten.”

You sucked on his finger, a content smile on your face. He reached down, tugging your wrists and pulling you to your feet.

“You didn’t think we were done, did you kitten? Oh no...I want to explore every little bit of you.” He whispered, bending you over his desk. Flipping up your skirt he admired as the tail slid into your ass and gently tugged it, pulling a low moan from you.

“Such a naughty kitten. I can’t wait to fill all your holes with my seed.” He said, his hand palming your ass, before smacking you hard. You jolted forward with a soft whimper. He tugged at your tail again, chuckling as you squeezed your thighs together.

“I’ve barely touched you and you’re already squirming.” His fingers pressed against your drooling cunt. “Already this wet, just from a few tugs on your tail? What a slutty little pet you are.”

You moaned as he pressed his fingers into your cunt, the slick arousal easily letting him into you. He slowly pumped in and out of you as you attempted to grind against his palm, whining when he gripped your hips, stilling you.

“Look at you, kitten. Debasing yourself just to get off. How filthy.” His voice was sadistic and yet your body trembled with desire under his touch. Your brain was hazy with his fingers rhythmically plunging into you and all you wanted was for him to use you for his pleasure.

“Please Master. Please touch me.” You pleaded, squeezing your thighs together as he pulled his fingers out of you. He pushed you down on the desk, as he pressed his cockhead against your entrance.

“Beg.”

“Please fuck me master. Please let me cum around your cock. I need you so bad, sir – FUCK!”

Satan slammed his cock into you, causing you to cry out. His hand gripped your hip as he fucked himself deeper into you.

“Scream as loud as you want kitten, no one is going to hear you through the spells in this room. You’re clenching around me so deliciously, pet.” His fingertips bruised your skin and papers and books were knocked off the desk as he slammed into you over and over.

Your body shook and you felt so full with his cock in your pussy and the plug in your ass. You felt stretched to your limit and still he pressed on, fucking you until you saw stars.

“I can feel the pressure of your tail plug through your delicious cunt, kitten. Doesn’t it feel good to be so full? You’re such a lewd little kitten, aren’t you?” As he taunted you with his words, his fingers danced around your clit, causing your legs to feel like they were giving out. Relentless, he continued pounding into you as tears fell from your eyes.

“So, so full. So good, master! Your cock is so perfect, Master.” you babbled, your brain delirious with lust. The fire burning in your core was so overwhelming, your body ached for more and you needed him, needed your master to push you over that peak.

Satan growled, feeling his demon form activate. His tail wrapped itself around your neck, holding you in place as he wrecked you.

“Your lewd little pussy is fluttering around my cock, kitten. Are you going to cum for me? Are you going to cum for your master’s cock?” He panted out. He was close, apparent as his thrusts became harder and faster.

“Yes please Master. Let me cum on your cock!” You choked out, his tail tightening around your throat. Your eyes fluttered as you felt back arch.

“Cum for me, pet.”

That was all it took. You wailed as your cunt clenched around him, creaming around his cock. Your body convulsed and you felt dazed as you gushed around him.

“Fuck, kitten!” He groaned out. His hand slammed you down as he unloaded into you. He was so deep, you could practically feel his cum in your belly as he shot ropes of his hot seed into your body over and over. After what felt like a lifetime, he slowly slid out of you.

Picking you up he delicately placed you on his bed, wiping aways the traces of cum that dripped onto your thighs. He gently worked your tail plug out and placed it on the desk before covering you with his sheets.

“You did so good for me, kitten.” He whispered into your skin. Your eyes were too heavy to open, so you just smiled sleepily and curled into his chest. Running his hand through your hair, he undid the cat ear clips and placed them on his nightstand before succumbing to exhaustion, his whispered words barely audible.

“Good little pet.”

#obey me #obey me satan #obey me smut #obey me shall we date #satan x mc #satan x y/n #satan smut #omswd

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yuzukult · 3 years

Text

dissonance (teaser) || jjk & reader

title: dissonance pairing: jeon jungkook x reader genre: angst, eventual smut (but teaser is smut free baby), fluff, rockstar!jungkook, gradstudent!reader teaser wc: 1,277 | full fic wc: tbd summary: something that first seems out of reach becomes a reality for him. screaming adoring fans, billboards with him and his band plastered on it, and touring across the globe with venues sold out. he has everything... but all he's missing is you. a/n: back at it again !! i honestly didn't think i'd come back with another jungkook fic but... i've always written series' for him so maybe this time lets dabble in a one-shot. :) enjoy this little teaser!

He loves it here. It’s his dream to be here, on the stage, with the feeling of the music rumbling underneath the soles of his chunky boots, the sea of fans screaming and hollering out his name with his self-produced songs booming through the speakers of the venue while his band stands by his side, just as passionate for this as he is.

It’s his dream; he reiterates this constantly as a reminder that this isn’t something everyone gets the chance to breathe the opportunity of. He’s been manifesting this scenario his entire life, wishing and praying to the potential Gods to help make his aspirations become a reality. He’d work his ass off to make ends meet, be able to afford the necessities all while chasing this goal that many claimed to be unrealistic or unattainable. But he’s here right now, supporters that flood the building to the brim for a concert that’s been sold out in thirty cities so far. He has everything he could ever want. Girls, money, music…

But why does he feel… like there’s something missing?

Another pair of panties gets thrown at the toes of his boots—it’s probably the sixth one that night but he’s grown used to this already. In some performances, girls would throw themselves at his feet instead of undergarments, yelling at the top of their lungs so ferociously that the security guards had to hold them back in fear of what they’re capable of. And sure, if he really wanted to, he could ask them out or invite them back to his hotel room for a quick bang, and it was what he’d been doing for the first couple years, and maybe they’ll make him feel a little less like this.

Albeit it doesn’t quite hit the same way anymore.

He’s left with this feeling of emptiness when he says his goodbyes and shuts the door behind them; there’s a gap in his chest like he’s forgotten something, yearning for it to be filled but those girls aren’t the ones to do it. His dreams used to be able to—but what are accomplished dreams when you have no one to share it with?

His friends/band mates are great, supportive and understanding, he’s admitted that he’s gotten lucky in that department, but part of him believes that it’s not friendship he’s lacking.

It’s love.

It sounds sappy to the ears of strangers, especially because ideally, you’re not supposed to depend on love to have that stuffing to the brim emotions in your chest, to feel complete and whole because a pretty person fell for you and vice versa. But to Jungkook, being in love had been something he thought he could toss under the rug for another day when he’d given up the girl he’d be infatuated with for this unobtainable aspiration, yet instead, he finds himself back in the same spot years later. Missing it.

He loved the chase—he’s a hopeless romantic kind of guy. After all, how would all of his songs be so full of raw emotions like that? It’s because Jungkook lives it—or well, lived it because everything he knew about love had been left on a shelf to collect dust. And he’d try to convince himself that he didn’t need someone, but he’d grown… lonely.

And quite frankly, finding someone genuine has proven to be difficult.

Don’t mention Tinder, Jungkook has already tried that. It promptly made headlines the moment he logged into that app with a selfie he’s never used before, and still then people actually thought he was catfishing, and wasn’t the real Jeon Jungkook. He should’ve known. But in all fairness, Jungkook isn’t much of a ‘future thinker.’

Then there was trying to date a staff member—worse idea yet. That noona ended up pissed at him when he realized that this isn’t what he wanted (he’d learn she was quite the control freak) and she flipped shit to the point that his managers fired her on the spot then informed the security that she was on the “do-not-enter” list.

After that, Jungkook just thought maybe he was going about this wrong.

Maybe, women weren’t actually of his interest.

Possibly, he was into men.

So, he tried. He ventured out a little, got a little taste here and there. Jungkook even found someone who fit him perfectly. His name? Kim Hyunwoo.

It worked out for a little, Jungkook admits, because Hyunwoo was overall a great boyfriend. He looked out for Jungkook, treated him well and they shared the same interests overall.

But… that was the problem.

They got along very well. As if they were best friends.

He found himself getting a bit uncomfortable when things got a little too serious—don’t get him wrong though, he honestly wasn’t embarrassed to be dating a guy. Hyunwoo was the definition of a model; handsome, tall with these sharp facial features. He’d been stopped and recruited several times during their dates, and truthfully, it made Jungkook feel a little awkward. He was the celebrity here, yet standing beside Hyunwoo only makes him feel small.

And in all honesty, he shouldn’t feel this way about the success of his significant other. But it wasn’t even just that. He found himself unable to pass first base with the guy—something about the action itself made him feel… discomfort. But he’s attracted to Hyunwoo. So why can’t he push himself to kiss him?

Jungkook learns maybe he finds men appealing but he can’t have more with them.

So, he goes back into the dating game. Met girls all over during his tour stops; he met a foreign girl named Lily, a gorgeous girl with pretty blonde hair and pale skin. But they didn’t click. He oddly felt like they weren’t ever on the same page. Then he went to dinner with a gal named—okay. He forgot her name. But the way her dress hugged her ass made his mind go blank, so could he really be blamed? (The answer is yes.) Oh! What about that girl whose name is similar to a hurricane? She had long, dark hair that matched her lengthy lashes that fluttered over her supple cheeks when she sucked his—

Nonetheless, it’s a dud again. He’s still lonely, he sadly confesses, but all of this is too much for him to process. He’s tired of getting his heart broken. He’s exhausted from meeting girls who first claimed that they’re not obsessed then actually are. He’s worn out of the ones who don’t love him for him, but love him for his fame.

Jungkook just wants to be loved for being… Jungkook.

And when he encounters you, some graduate student who spends majority of her days in between the activities of face dug into a textbook or eyes glued onto a computer screen, he thinks he’s back to where he was before this lifestyle. Jungkook finds himself swooning, desperately wishing for your touch and kisses, but there’s just one thing he doesn’t quite know.

Do you like Jungkook for Jungkook? Or do you like the ideal version of him that sings on stage, tossing off his shirt with his abs flexing while the crowd screams his name once more, all while the veins in his neck pop when he reaches that high note?

Or do you like Jungkook, the one who still doesn’t understand the difference between an orange and clementine, the one who still has trouble knowing when a potato is thoroughly cooked, and why his socks came out of the wash in this weird pinky shade when they definitely went in as white.

So… which is it? Which Jungkook are you interested in?

#jungkook x reader #bts fanfic #jungkook fanfic #jeon jungkook #jungkook smut #bts x fanfic #gyukultfics

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what-i-call-men · 3 years

Text

Sell my soul

Jeff Pfister x fem!reader

Request: "anything with Jeff having a mommy kink"

Warnings: Smut! Some mommy kink (i tried ok), mentions of Michael and selling your soul to Satan

Once again the pic I stole from @copy-of-a-cheeto because they always have amazing pictures

Proof read by @divineruler

Working with Jeff and Mutt could really be challenging at times, especially when they couldn't be bothered to use your help. You hadn't really done much other than help them get their prints down for their robots, then you were demoted to coffee monkey for a few days at a time until one of the men would ask you to interact with one of their robots or help with small useless tasks. Mostly your job consisted of the marketing of their products and the output and delivery of robots they sold.

After Mutt threw a tantrum at you about his coffee order not being right, you finally gave up and walked to your desk that sat in the small room between the lab and Ms. Venable's desk. Pretty much anyone who walked into the lab had to go through your office. Yes it was pretty annoying at times but it was nice sometimes too because that means Jeff had to walk through your office whenever he wanted to go out for any reason. One day particular Ms. Venable let this man into the lab, walking through your office and giving you a kind smile as he walked into the lab.

As he walked past you could feel chills go up your spine and he closed the glass door separating your office and the lab. You stared at him for a moment as he walked up and the men greeted him. You looked at Venable and stood from your desk, walking over to her desk. "Who is that?" You asked and gestured to the glass doors as you sat on the side of her desk. She glared at where you sat but said nothing. "His name is Michael. He's a very powerful man." She said and waved the back of her hand at you. "Now if you'll excuse me I actually have work to get done." She excused you off her desk and you huffed, walking back to your office and clicking around on the website.

You tried to keep your eyes to yourself but you couldn't help but look over at the coconut heads as they talked to this mystery man. More specifically you looked at Jeff. You couldn't tell what it was about him but he seemed so cute and fuckable. You knew you had barely any chance because he could literally make a robot of his ideal woman and have her do whatever he'd like, why would he choose to sleep with someone like you when he could build the perfect woman for himself.

After a few minutes, you were fucking around on your phone before the shades to the lab dropped quickly and then only about a minute later the door to your office opened and Michael walked out with a smile on his face. He looked at you for a moment, stopping in the doorway. You had Jeff's Instagram pulled up on your phone, shamelessly looking at a picture the two of you had taken at some big event for a news website. Michael closed the lab door behind him and looked at your phone where it sat on your desk.

"Do you like him?" He asked and looked down his nose at the phone. You felt the chills run down your spine again. "Yeah... and I just want him to like me back- even better I wish I had the courage to make him like me back." You suddenly found yourself kinda spilling everything to this man without considering it beforehand. "I can help you with that... My father is in a pretty powerful position. We could make a deal and I can get you what you want." He said and walked to where he could place his hands against your desk and lean over it. You swallowed the spit in your mouth and stared at him. You couldn't really say anything but you did nod. Michael grinned and offered his hand to you. "Sell your soul to Satan, like they did, and you can have him wrapped around your pinky plus the courage you need to get him." Michael said and you paused before taking his hand.

He leaned forward and kissed the back of your hand before walking out of the room. You paused for a second and looked down to your desk. You didn't feel any different at first, but then you heard your door to the lab opening. Mutt walked out through the door and nodded at you, saying he was running out to pick up lunch for them, leaving the door wide open behind him. You nodded and spun in your chair for a few moments after Mutt left your office.

That's when you heard Jeff call for you from the lab, so you walked over, already feeling yourself stand a bit taller. "Hey y/n can you help me with this coding? I can't find why I'm getting errors." He said and you walked around his desk looking at his laptop over his shoulder. You glanced over the code realizing really quickly that Jeff didn't fill in parts of the code, just leaving them blank. "You literally didn't fill out the whole code." You said and pointed at the computer screen before looking at Jeff. He was obviously staring at your chest. You smirked a little and played into it. Pushing your hands against the edge of his desk and pushing your breasts together as you leaned forwards to "look at the code".

You pointed to the screen and Jeff didn't look back to the screen from your chest. You stood up and he looked quickly up to your face. "Oh baby if you wanna stare that hard you might as well take a picture." You said and leaned back to sit on his desk. He stammered for a second before spitting out a simple "can you just help me with this?" You shrugged and looked at the computer and he continued to glance between your chest and the screen. After instructing him what to type in, his hands shook as he typed. Eventually you reached forwards and took his hands off his keyboard.

"Jeff, do you want me to help you?" You asked and he nodded a bit. Gently pushing his shoulder back, you moved onto his lap gently, sitting and facing his computer. You typed into the code silently, yet you could feel him adjust against your ass, his very prominent boner pressing against you. You just smiled to yourself as he stammered quietly behind you.

“C-can you help me with something else…” he asked softly, now pushing his blushing face against your shoulder from behind.

“Where do you need my help baby?” You asked, a smirk finding its way across your lips as he pushed against you with his dick. You took that as a sign and stood up, turning around in his lap to straddle him in his desk chair. “You want mommy to take care of your little problem?” You ask, your hand roaming down to gently rub him through his jeans. He nodded and moaned quietly against your shoulder.

Moving yourself up a bit, you unzipped his jeans and moved them down a bit so you could properly rub him through his boxers. God whatever Michael was, he definitely worked a bit of magic to get you to this place. Jeff whimpered under you as you rubbed him through his boxers. “Please…” he whimpered as you moved off of him and back to kneel on the ground between his knees.

As you kneeled down, Jeff hurriedly pushed his jeans down along with his boxers. “Slow down baby, don’t you wanna enjoy this?” You asked in a quiet voice and wrapped your hand around his length. It was harder than you would’ve thought for having just barely riled him up. As soon as you made contact with him his dick jumped and he whined. With that reaction you gripped him a bit harder and began to stroke him slowly, leaning in to lick the precum off his tip and giving small suckles to the tip as his hips bucked against your movements.

As your actions continued, you heard Jeff’s cell phone buzzing against his desk, you two paused to look at it. It was Mutt calling him. “Go on and answer it baby. I’m sure it’s really important.” You whispered and his shaky hand swiped the answer button and put it on speaker.

“Hey bro. They don’t have the sandwich that you usually get. What do you want instead?” Mutt’s voice sounded from the phone. You looked up to Jeff, now fully taking his length in your mouth and sucking on it roughly. He bit back a moan and there his head back against his office chair.

“Dude, h-honestly just get me whatever you got… whatever you got last time. I-It looked good.” He responded and let out a breath as you began to bob your head against him. Mutt paused for a second on the line.

“You said that it smelled like shit and that you hated it. What about that chicken one that you had a few days ago? I can make a stop on the way back if you’d prefer that. I know Y/n likes the soup from that place. Do you know if she brought lunch in today for herself?” Mutt asked and Jeff’s eyes lulled back in his head; both rolling his eyes at Mutt’s questioning but also at you lazily jerking him off as you sucked on his tip.

“Uh, it doesn’t look like it… I’d make the stop and get it just in case.” Jeff responded and as he spoke you doubled down and sucked a bit harder.

“She’s been doing pretty good lately. Can you remind me when I get back that I wanted her to put a new listing on the site? That fleshlight that you designed to look like her will be a top seller bro. And I bet you she’ll be none the wiser that it’s inspired by her.” Man if Jeff’s face wasn’t already beet red by this whole situation it was now.

“Y-yeah dude. I’ll remind you later. I’ll see you when you get back to the shop.” He spit out a quick goodbye and then hung up the phone. You pulled off of Jeff and looked at his face, which now refused to look back at yours. you hummed and stood up from where you knelt. Jeff looked at you quickly, scared you were upset by what Mutt had said over the phone. Instead you leaned against Jeff’s desk, slowly pulling yourself to sit on it. “A-are you mad?” He asked softly, looking up at you embarrassed.

“No, baby. But next time if you want to fuck me so badly…” you said as you undid your jeans in front of him. “Just ask. You don’t need a fleshlight when you can have the real thing.” You said and pushed down your jeans and panties infront of him. Leaning back on the desk, you stared him down. Your own hand came to grab his shaking one, placing it gently against your cunt. “Now how about you go ahead and give mommy a taste.” You said and he was on you in seconds.

You didn’t want to lose your dominance, but the second Jeff’s lips were basically devouring you, you couldn’t help but let out an almost pornographic moan. You’d think the man would be more focused on his own pleasure due to the fact that as his job, but the way he licked and sucked at your cunt told you he might’ve been using that fleshlight for things other than fucking. You reached down and grabbed a handful of his hair as he pushed a finger into you slowly. “Fuck baby. Just like that hun.” You mumbled and threw your head back as he thrust his finger in and out of you in speed with his tongue against your clit.

After not too long you felt your back arch against the cold table and your thighs squeeze around Jeff’s head as you came against his tongue. The moan you let out, you were sure Venable would hear, but honestly you weren’t too concerned about that now. What you were concerned about was Jeff’s face, patchy red and staring up at you from between your thighs. His hair was tousled and his eyes were glossy as he stared at you. “C-can I please fuck you? Please mommy…” He asked as he moved his finger out of you, but instead of fully removing it he moved it to rub your clit slowly.

You nodded at him and he eagerly stood from his chair. Glancing at him you saw a pretty big stain on his shirt and it became obvious very quickly that you were not the only one who came, but he was already hard as a rock again. Smirking silently to yourself, you pulled your shirt off. He looked over your bra clad chest as he adjusted himself between your legs. As he slowly pushed himself into you, you felt him shake a little bit from excitement and nervousness. Pushing in, he leaned over you a bit, silently staring at your breasts as he leaned above you.

“Go ahead baby.” You whispered and almost immediately your bra padding was pulled down and his lips were connected to your nipple, his other hand finding your other breast. He immediately began some small thrusts into you on instinct as he sucked. The thrusts soon became more forceful and purposeful and your moans became a bit more high pitched. You could tell his stamina wasn’t going to let him last long so you would get the most out of this that you can.

Jeff’s eyes were glued to you, hardly able to pull them away for fear that if he did you’d cease to exist. Your moans of his name felt like small blessings from whatever beings were out there and having you wrapped around him was somehow just a pure god send. As you noted his slow in pace, you looked down back to him, gently wrapping your hand around his throat and catching his attention. “Go faster Jeff.” you strained out and squeezed his neck. He obeyed and you leaned up to catch his lips in a kiss as you felt yourself topple over the edge, his own orgasm following only seconds later.

As he slowed, he didn't pull out immediately, instead you wrapped him up in the kiss. You two made out for a moment as you caught your breath. As you slowed and he pulled out, you excused yourself to the small bathroom the men had attached to their lab. After cleaning yourself quickly, you walked out and saw Jeff sitting at his desk again, Mutt walking into the lab almost the same time you were walking out of the bathroom. You smiled at Mutt as he handed you the soup he had mentioned before on the phone. “Thanks Mutt. By the way, it’s bold of you to assume I wouldn’t know what my own pussy looks like. That’s not it…” you pointed at the fleshlight sat at his desk. “Jeff, how about you show him what needs fixing.” You smiled at the men and walked back to your desk, shutting the door behind you.

#jeff pfister x reader #Jeff pfister smut #jeff pfister #ahs apocalypse

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baobaojng · 4 years

Text

push and pull (jung jaehyun)

jung yoonoh (jaehyun) (idol jaehyun) x (fem! foreigner) reader - idol!au

themes: angst, fluff, smut

summary: you never expected to meet Jaehyun when you study in Korea, let alone fall in love with him. so when you’re faced with the dilemma of the reality of your life - and even more so his, the battle seems difficult to overcome.

notes: kind of established relationship (the timeline’s fucked but haha joke’s on me), reader and jaehyun are honestly super angsty, unprotected sex (wrap it up in real life to stay safe)

a/n: i wrote this on a whim for the past two days and aaaaaaa enjoy

wordcount: 10,152

There are two things Jaehyun always clarifies whenever all the guys were huddled around in the practice room.

“Yes, I’m sure nobody saw me sneak out of the dorms last night. I checked.” Jaehyun usually puts a hand up as if he’s exorcising Taeyong, who usually was very concerned about these kinds of things. This was the first thing that he always pointed out, the other guys knowing that Jaehyun probably went out (in the wee hours of the night) the most. Paps could snap photos at any given time in any given situation, and if anyone caught them sneaking out at night - new outlets and gossip sites would probably kill them in the morning with rumors and scandals.

Which brought Jaehyun to the second point, when Mark and Johnny would expectantly cross their arms together in a teasing manner. “And no, Y/N and I aren’t dating.” No matter how many times he said it, they always hoped that he’d finally say you were dating.

After all, majority of the time he snuck out to see you.

This time nobody pressed him for any more questions, especially since he volunteered to order and pay for the Chinese food they were going to eat. An attempt to avert the guys’ attention elsewhere.

Exhausted after dancing the same part of their choreography for the umpteenth time, Jaehyun checks his phone for any notifications. Hoping that somehow you’d have texted him, but texting him first was something you rarely ever did anyway. He didn’t even know why.

Sometimes you wonder if you’ve been imagining things. Being in Korea for the past couple of years to study (which was a real ridiculous decision knowing you were in for learning how to speak Korean and understand foreign culture while in university), having a pretty good paying part time job, and being friends with kpop idols.

It was a pretty fair thing to think at first - out of the millions of possibilities of how, when, and why you were going to somehow meet celebrities you’ve been following and supporting for years.

You met Mark and Johnny first, the two deciding on a break that day and go out to try a quiet café one of their seniors suggested. Just because it was a little bit more hidden, kind of preferential for idols who just wanted to relax in a space that wasn’t the SM building or their dorm.

Becoming a barista was something you always wanted to try out as a side job anyway, having learned some bar tricks from your cousins growing up. It wasn’t so far off from it. The job paid pretty well too, considering the fact that you were a foreigner and that it was really just a side thing for you to earn money so you could live more comfortably. To your luck, the place your former college dorm mate recommended for you to work with was a low-profile café that targeted audiences like Johnny Suh and Mark Lee. You’ve seen some celebrities come in before, but mostly the actor types.

It was a really quick acquaintance established when the two of them got to the café. You looked a little shellshocked to take their orders because you knew exactly who they were, and they found it a little interesting to find someone like you working behind the counter. Mark ordered twice and Johnny went back and forth with the Korean and the English jokes because it was fun to meet someone new in a place that was as pleasant as the café.

They came in almost every three days from then on, making the same order (after Mark tried almost everything off the menu to make sure he had a favorite), sitting on the same place, and leaving on the same time.

Of course your mind drifted off to many places, thinking about how it seemed so normal and casual for them to treat you like an old friend. For the most part you thought of them in the same way, but a little part of you remembered that they were customers (well, celebrities) and you were the lucky part-timer that took took the afternoon shifts after your classes.

Your existence probably didn’t bother them as much as they did you.

Just when you got used to the normal digital noise of people entering: Mark’s obnoxiously loud hollering to greet you and Johnny’s really lame attempt at trying to ‘step up his intercultural humor,’ they came in with somebody new one time around.

“I’m just getting the usual today, Y/N.” Johnny patted at his stomach, as if you understood the odd relationship he had with his stomach - he fondled it very carefully. A tale of self love that disturbed you just a little bit, but now you were expectantly looking at Mark.

“Sheesh, I don’t know man, I’m probably gonna upgrade sizes on my order today. I haven’t eaten since this morning.” Mark complains to Johnny as you take note of that in the touch screen computer.

Jaehyun awkwardly stood there not really knowing what to say, and you couldn’t bring it to yourself to look at him directly either. But you knew who he was anyway, you’ve probably seen so many pictures of him on the internet to know how he looked like and where his mole was on his cheek. Your peripheral vision wasn’t failing you, and it definitely never has in your lifetime.

While the other two were bickering about food portions, Jaehyun cleared his throat out noticing that you’ve been hovering over the computer screen because you were waiting for them to complete their order. Mark and Johnny were comfortable with you, and Jaehyun felt out of place.

“Just a large iced Americano.” Jaehyun asked in Korean, a little slower and a little bit weirder. He noticed how chopped up his syllables were, but only because you were a little too pretty to be taking his order and because he wasn’t sure if you could understand him. His members outright spoke to you in English.

“Have you eaten?” You boldly asked him referring to Johnny and Mark’s debacle on food, assuming he probably wanted something to eat with his drink because that’s how his members ordered.

He became a little flustered, picking up on the impressive Korean accent you had when you responded to him in Korean, the honorifics perfectly done too. In the same instant his stomach grumbled, and he realized that the answer to your question was no - he hadn’t eaten anything all day actually. Even forgot to eat the apple he brought into his and Jungwoo’s room.

“I— uh,” he continuously stammers, his right hand gripping his left shoulder as a mannerism. Obviously he’s a little overwhelmed by the food choices on the menu. You just flash a little smile to him as encouragement, not even directly looking his way. “What’s your favorite?” He asks and it throws you off a little, you wouldn’t have expected him to ask for a recommendation.

You have to look at him now to be a little more respectful, and when you do— god. Jesus, god, Christ. What was it you said about seeing many photos of him online anyway? Nope, wrong. The millions of photos online didn’t do him any justice whatsoever. He was just unreal in the flesh.

“It’s a little embarrassing.” You’re the one flustered, feeling your cheeks heat up because he’s looking right at your eyes. Meeting your bias in your work uniform wasn’t the ideal situation, it made you feel like putty.

“I’ll take that though, whatever it is.” He hands you his black card (which you find out he does because he offered to pay for everyone’s food, and because he wanted to show off to you), and your fingers brush for a split second. A breathy giggle leaves your lips and you ask him to do the necessary things to have the food credited to his card.

“Thank you.” You mumble under your breath before giving his card back, the three deciding to sit where the two would usually sit. You got to making the drinks while your co-worker served their food to them, a little hyped up that the ‘Cherry Bomb’ dudes brought another member this time around. At this you laugh a little, trying to make a clearer working environment for yourself because your first encounter with Jaehyun had you a little bothered.

It was one thing to say that nobody should have fazed you by now, but you felt like a high schooler - weak at the knees and slowly losing confidence. Stealing the shortest of glances over at Jaehyun, catching him look back at you. Although maybe it was just a trick of your imagination.

But you weren’t imagining things, Jaehyun found himself in a brief state of confusion ever since he saw you when he entered not more than fifteen minutes ago. Having crushes was definitely normal, but you had this very inviting feeling about you.

Mark seemed to notice that Jaehyun was completely out of the loop with the dumb topic Johnny offered onto the table, following where his hyung’s eyes flickered to every few seconds.

“Y/N’s cute, huh?” Mark says, but it sounds less like a question than it’s supposed to be. He knows that Jaehyun never really seems interested in meeting other people, it was probably half the fact that Jaehyun maintained an unamused face in whatever circumstance, and this was a rare instance.

Jaehyun knows he’s caught, but he pulls off the realest fake cough he can. “Yeah, she seems cool.” He plays off like it’s nothing and the other two understand what the answer means even beyond what Jaehyun meant. He was interested.

This time when you try to steal a glance, all three of them are looking at you. But you decide to shoot daggers when you make eye contact with Johnny and Mark, knowing like hell they were intimidated by you at this point. You’ve threatened them jokingly countless of times before for making fun of you or making too much noise, but they always were so genuinely scared. You see the way Jaehyun’s dimples appear when he laughs as he sees his members flinch at you squinting your eyes at them.

“Hoobin,” you call over to your co-worker who was just about to serve the food to the three guys you were having an eye battle with, “I’ll take over, I think you should take an early time out today.” It was a bold decision, and thankfully Hoobin didn’t think twice after being bribed with having to work less. There was no room for you to hesitate, and for some reason you felt a little more confident.

After that you take their food over to their table, Johnny inviting you to pull up an extra chair from the unoccupied table behind. Mark tells you to stay more than five minutes because they “miss you” (as if they don’t see you at least twice a week,) which causes Jaehyun to kick him discretely under the table. That afternoon, Jaehyun sits silently as he eats what he presumed to be your favorite thing off of the menu (which he decided has become his new favorite food order as well) - listening to you talk about your life. Details about how you’re doing well in class these days and this part time job not being much of a hassle.

It was a little unnerving, having him be quiet there. You weren’t so sure if he was uninterested or maybe he didn’t care who you were. All that wasn’t supposed to matter, but something in the back of your head told you that your first impressions should matter. Especially when it came to him.

When you leave to greet the guy taking over the night shift, Jaehyun briefly compliments your food choice because he was looking for some sort of way to say good bye and thank you.

“It’s really no problem,” you chime in, “I’m pretty surprised you liked it.”

Well, Jaehyun was too. He wasn’t the kind to really indulge into something, and he had a feeling that he probably liked it because he was more interested in trying to relate to you.

Johnny and Mark end up not shutting up about how he was so lovestruck by you, even when they got home to the dorms.

Since then Jaehyun came by more often, and to his relief he went there alone. At first always just getting a coffee and quietly sitting down where you could see him, and where he could perfectly see you. Sometimes coming in with Mark and Johnny, and the rare occurrence that they dragged along Yuta and Jungwoo (who quickly became your friends, to Jaehyun’s own disappointment - at not being able to articulate any sense of bravery when he saw you.)

But then he got more attentive and took note to arrive five minutes before your shift ended. The first time he did that, he asked you to stay behind to just have a drink with him because you technically weren’t working anyway.

You couldn’t say no, even though you didn’t know what he was asking you to stay for. Only two minutes of awkward silence passed until he took a crack at a lame joke to fill the air, the two of you ending up bursting with laughter just because it was that bad. Somehow, spending the rest of the afternoon up till the evening just discussing all kinds of things with each other. Leaving the details of your personal lives away, but Jaehyun had no intention of not knowing; he took his chance at asking for your number because he liked talking to you. Even if it meant talking about the milk froth the steaming machine created, and how the smell of coffee when he entered the room always soothed him.

You were a bunch of nerves waiting to be spilt out. The idea of hanging out with Jaehyun was fun, but mostly scary.

Being friends with Jaehyun felt a little too much like hiding a secret. Like that time when you got that tattoo and tried to hide it from your mother, scared she’d see when you were too comfortable lazying around the house.

Every time you fell into comfort hanging out with Jaehyun, a voice at the back of your head always reminded you that your relationship wasn’t normal. You had to lay low, be more careful, never a moment where you weren’t vigilant about your surroundings.

Of course it wasn’t normal, definitely not normal for you. There were things you could only plan through words because it meant a lot of risk actually going out to try them in public.

The reality didn’t really bug you that much before; you could say you were content with his company, having so much as prolonged hours with coffee or him going to the cute little studio type apartment you rented near your school’s campus. Now, it was a little bit more bothersome.

Mostly because you swear that it’s the easiest thing in the world— to fall in love with Jaehyun. It was great talking to him, behind what you were used to seeing on camera he’d say things you wouldn’t have thought he’d ever say. Jaehyun had knowledge woven into him in everything he ever mentioned, he tried even in times when he was unsure. There were conquests in his eyes, the way his face would light up in that stupidly handsome dimpled smile. You wanted to try them all, you were sure as hell you wouldn’t hold back if you were given the chance.

But the hard parts of reality always kept you from gambling, from telling him how you felt even though you were sure that he had a good idea of your feelings anyway.

The two of you were having red wine on your living room floor despite the cold of the apartment. He came over about an hour and a half ago, drenched by the rain on his way.

Jaehyun rested his head on the couch, and you notice that his hair is still damp. He’s staring at your ceiling while a sigh leaves his lips.

“You alright?” You ask him, straightening the way you were sitting on the floor.

“Yeah.” He answers anyway, although you know what the fake tone implies. He isn’t.

“Really? You won’t tell me that you aren’t fine?”

It’s not that he doesn’t want to, in fact he’s sure that he always tells you when he feels a little off the rails. Honestly it’s a little hard to trace back the time when he got so comfortable with you, it feels like the two of you just melted into each other’s worlds without ever noticing that you have. Every dumb text and every sneaky hang out.

“I guess I just don’t want to have a heavy conversation with you for once is all.”

You laugh a little, “I don’t care if we both end up screaming and crying, Jae. If you don’t feel good I definitely want to know. How many times will I tell you that it’s much better if you started talking about how you feel?”

Getting rid of that habit was a little hard for him; getting used to always presenting himself on camera as somebody who barely flinched. Somehow it seeped through to who he really was, and it was something that frustrated you when he first talked about this. Bottling up the way he felt just because he thought he needed to be perfect just angered you. You found yourself deeply concerned about him detaching himself with the reality that nobody could ever be perfect, but nobody had to be either.

“I swear this time it’s okay.” His dimples appear in a passive smile, but you playfully shove his arm in response. Careful not to spill any of the wine from his glass to your fluffy grey carpet.

“Liar.” You accuse as you roll your eyes.

To him you look all cute when you’re annoyed. He was going to prolong this for as long as he could; it made a squeezing sensation just between his heart and his lungs. He’d be dumb to say that he didn’t feel anything for you, because he did.

Jaehyun felt a plethora of things.

He felt happy every time he saw you, no matter how rough you claimed to look - even when you admitted you were far too insecure to present yourself to him. Once you called him when you were far out drunk, telling him you believed him to be directly made by God (if there ever was one.) He felt sad when he had to go. When time would have him leave you, because he had this incessant need to be around you for as long as it could. He felt angry too, knowing he wanted to give you so much more. He knew he didn’t just want to be your friend, but what he did for a living prevented him from giving you these things. Possibility of rejection aside, he knew he couldn’t just be around you whenever he wanted and whenever you needed.

“I’ll tell you when I feel like I’ve understood myself.” He promises, admitting you’re right.

That was good enough for you to brush it off; if he didn’t want to talk about it then you wouldn’t press him any further. You weren’t in the mood to put up a fight either, and maybe it was something you wouldn’t understand.

Finishing the wine that filled up half of your glass in one go, you turn to look at him. Not catching how he watched you down the whole thing like a mad man, he tenses because he knows something’s up. You hardly ever shoot down alcohol like that unless you were calming your nerves.

You had something to say, it was the reason why you called him over to hang out in the first place.

“I’m leaving soon.” It’s quick and simple, maybe the one line you chose that delivered the most impact when you were going over how to tell him. You found out you passed the semester a few days ago, and this meant that you had to leave Korea now. A job was already waiting for you in New York - somewhere you always planned on going after you finished up Fashion Design in Seoul. Truth be told, you never expected to pick up friendships— never expected to meet and be as close to Jaehyun when you decided to work in a café. But it became your reality, and the truth of your temporary time in Korea was catching up to you.

“Huh?” He only makes a sound, a little confused when you see his canines just through where his mouth parts. Eyebrows brought together by the lack of context.

“I mean I’m graduating in three weeks, just after other students fix their reconsiderations.” You explain holding in a breath for what you were about to say, even though you’ve practiced it about a hundred times in the mirror, “but after graduation I’m leaving Korea.”

And there it is, the bomb was dropped.

Jaehyun’s mind would like to pretend like he didn’t understand what you just said. In fact he even wanted to play dumb just so you could tell him this was a terrible joke, but you were looking at him the way you always looked at him when you were vulnerable - when you were being completely humanly honest with him.

He doesn’t say anything, not sure how he’ll react. Instead you begin rambling to fill in for the silence, a bad habit you always had. “It’s fine if you don’t want to hang out anymore, I’m not sure how good bye’s are supposed to work,” he doesn’t gloss over what you say, “the possibility of us maintaining this friendship thing is very low anyway.”

“Is that what you think of me? I’d just let go quickly, is that it?” He’s a little hurt; it’s the first time you’ve ever assumed anything of him that actually hurt.

“No,” you shake your head, “but you aren’t the type to forget what life is really like, and who you really are.”

He’s a little burnt, maybe because he knows exactly what you mean. The whole idol thing he got into was consuming. People he used to know were distant, it was even harder to keep up friendships and contact family, they’d meet people all the the time and have them come and go. If anything there was a lot of insecurity and pressure about the way he acted, the way he looked.

He brings his fingertips to scratch over the nape of his head as if he’d be able to claw out answers, or maybe a good response. “Doesn’t mean that I should lose you.” The coarseness of his voice seeps through.

You shrug, sliding your empty wine glass somewhere you wouldn’t knock it over. “People lose other people all the time.”

“You’re really trying to make yourself seem that disposable, aren’t you?” He eyes his glass, the red liquid swirling along with his subtle movements. He can’t find it in himself to look at you, but you’re lucky enough to feel small - not wanting to deal with the scrutiny you were expecting to feel if he did look at you. If he looked at you now and if he tried to memorize every pore, it would make it feel final.

“Jaehyun,” you use his name, swearing to yourself before that you’d rarely call him this so it would set the tone if you were trying to be serious about something, “I got you into trouble the other day because you snuck out again. No, actually I got you into more trouble than what’s good for you.”

“But I don’t mind that; I’m willing to get in trouble for you even if I get scolded for it.” He admits. For you. Words that probably don’t mean what you think they should, but they do.

“See you’re not so good at thinking about how you also get hurt, Jaehyun. Don’t you think about how hard it’ll be for you if you keep doing that for other people?”

He hisses. “I just told you that I don’t care about that.”

Your legs awkwardly shift around, “but I care about that.”

“If you cared about me enough then you wouldn’t mind it, because you know that spending time with you like this makes me happy.” Jaehyun bites down on his lower lip, suppressing a confession from making it any further off his mouth. “I don’t want to be afraid of losing someone, that isn’t the way to live.”

Compared to how he’s holding back, you can’t just help but take advantage of the wine buzzing through from the back of your eyes to the bridge of your nose. Closing your eyes hoping like the dark will swallow you alive after you say it, you shut them tight.

“I think I love you too much to resist saying no.”

It’s not an instance. It feels like years.

It feels like you’re on a rollercoaster with no safety belt on while you brace yourself for the worst. The plunging silence of all the different memories you’ve associated with Jaehyun. The different scents of expensive perfume he bought, the kind that wouldn’t go away even after he showed up after a work out session. How his ears and his knuckles turned a deep shade of red when it was cold outside, winter season passing you by through worn out coats and you’re lame attempts at teaching him how to wear scarves. His tragic attempts at small talk, never knowing exactly what to say - but always saved by your inability to shut up when faced with anything awkward. The deep honey amber of his voice, each uncomfortable slip of the tongue when he mispronounced things and got embarrassed. Those stupid songs you heard in the background that always somehow reminded him of you from those moments on.

It takes these long seconds for you to prepare to lose him. And maybe it’s what you want; if he decides to reject you know and turn you over like a criminal taken down, maybe it would mean that it would be easier for you to leave him.

The rejection doesn’t come, only the pensive silence of his shock.

He’s still trying to process things. Because you could have said ‘I love you too much as a friend,’ but he also knows you don’t use the word love lightly. In fact you’ve argued about the word multiple times. Accusing him of being too loose with the term. Back then he could easily say that he loved his grey bedsheets, that he loved gardens and clay potted plants. But now, after knowing your perspective on the word, he could only really say he really liked them.

He loves his family, his band members, his cat. He loves his piano, loved his hands. He loves the fans. And he loves you.

It’s his turn to down the rest of his drink, and somehow the last drops taste bitter at the end. Maybe because the wine had become warm, and his throat’s burning with the words he wants to say.

“Do you love me the way I love you?” Is not exactly how he planned to confess, but you look at him with teary eyes because you don’t need for him to say it twice to know what he means either.

Yes, you think. You loved him to the stars, to where your heart used to cry at sweet nothings of Instagram fan videos of Jaehyun even before you met him. You loved him as a stranger, a fan, an avid fan. You loved him even more now, as a man who breathes air as any other would (which surprised you at first, you thought gods never needed oxygen - but this one did.) You loved him as a real living fixture of bone, skin - imperfections you looked past.

His lips don’t taste like much aside from the wine, the rare instance that he gets you to drink the red kind and you’re doing this. Kissing him past your faintly stained teeth.

But you can feel his warmth, especially now that his hands have lead you to sit on his thighs - calloused fingers tracing back and forth through your jaw like the first time they’ve ever grazed on skin. Your fingers tread along his damp hair, bunching them up similar to how it looks when stylists slick his hair back for him.

Yes. He knows your answer is yes, because he’s never been kissed like this. So much unspoken gentleness, quiet excuses and hushed moans through and through sending goosebumps along his arm. He’s never been kissed in a way that held words. Nobody had ever kissed a confession into his tongue, never with the swirling and nibbling across the lower lip.

He doesn’t think he’s had time to kiss like this either. Jaehyun knows a lot, he’s touched a lot. But always in the quiet of secret, always rushed plans - thinking about how to not get his members into trouble, how not to make a stir in the public eye.

Jaehyun wants to forget the world in your kiss as he finds himself drowning into yours in a matter of a kiss. No— he knew he dipped a toe into the water when you asked him if he ate that day he first met you. And he dove right under all at once when he realized he couldn’t get enough.

Hands are traveling over your waist, your arms wrapping around his neck so delicately. He thinks you are what beauty demands when you two catch your breaths to look at each other, a smile cracking onto your features when you realize how sappy this all is.

“We need to learn how to stop holding back.” You suggest, and his eyes beam at you.

“Honestly we tell ourselves that all the time, we tell other people that way too much too. It’s just that we’re to scared to let go and just do it.” He says in a deep whisper. “So you love me, huh?”

You want to flick the sly look he has on his face, “don’t push it.”

“But you just said we should stop holding back.” He traces the bone of your jaw, just near where it tingles by your ear.

“We might end up saying I love you too much that we might get tired of saying it.” Lame excuses spill from your mouth, things you don’t mean just pop up into your mind because you’re nervous as hell.

By the first week, Jaehyun proves you wrong. Neither of you grow tired of saying I love you, it seems like you can’t go on not saying it at least once every hour. You can’t get enough of skin on skin in every second you’re together.

And it’s sinful as much as it is innocent, rough as it is loving. The first time he goes too far, tugging at the waistband of your cotton shorts - the too big neckline of your sweater exposing collarbones.

His hands recoil, not wanting to rush you into anything. But you find that you don’t mind, if it’s him then there’s no reason to hesitate.

“Take me,” you whisper, his eyes sincerely looking into your own in case he can find any trace of doubt, “take all of me.” His stupidly manly chin clenches along with his jaw.

Love is a whirlwind and you’re leading him to sweet chaos. Lips on lips like every kiss is the first. He hovers above you so gently, only enough weight to press your heart enough. You feel like you’re going to explode.

Clothes are let go like shedding second skin - but with no pain, no pauses.

You are the first to be completely naked, lying beneath him in the warm dim lighting of your lamp. Only his torso is exposed, and you can’t say you haven’t seen the expanse of skin in posts on the internet - but seeing it only inches away from your own heaving chest makes it look so unreal.

On instinct you try to cover your chest with your arms, but Jaehyun gently pulls them apart.

His thumbs slide from your shoulders, reaching the hardened peaks of your nipples. Jaehyun’s touch lingering a little longer at the swell of your breasts, mesmerized by something he’s seen a lot - but only because it’s you.

“You’re making this impossible for me.” The voice he speaks in is ragged, enamored by how your chest also irregularly rises and falls.

“What do you mean?” You pause, but get caught in surprise when his wet tongue licks at your nipple. A gasp leaves your lips and he responds with an innocent smirk.

“It’s enough that you love me,” he plants a kiss at your shoulder blades, “enough that you let me love you,” another one on your right breast, “but you want to give yourself to me like this too?” he nuzzles into your chest. “Y/N, are you even real?”

He asks you like you haven’t already been asking that question for millions and millions of times, but he doesn’t know that.

When you respond with only an ‘I love you,’ he still doesn’t believe you’re real. Even until he inserts a finger into your core, curling them as he watched your tensed muscles relax under his touch. Adding in another finger, his thumb massaging your clit - only your moans and your sighs fill his ears.

You’re every sensation, every taste he wants on his tongue.

“Jaehyun.” You gasp over and over as he pumps in and out, fascinated with what only his hands can do. Although you’re on a cloud in paradise, feeling your nerves tense up with every centimeter of movement.

“Yes baby?” He coos as he feels you twitch, trying to resist the overwhelming sensations he’s providing. Not stopping until he feels your walls tighten and tighten around his fingers, your hips moving uncontrollably. With the pace he’s going, you find yourself cumming already.

“Jaehyun!” Your back arches, and he rubs at your overstimulated mound just to ogle at you. You feel whole when he slips inside of you after your almost limbless feeling attempt at taking off his sweatpants, feeling up every expanse he was setting in. He’s big, bigger than what you would have thought. “Fu– Fuck!” You curse under your breath, hissing at his girth.

“You’re so,” he grunts as he starts to move, but your pussy has a vice like grip and it won’t seem to adjust to his size, “so so good.”

There’s an impossible adjustment in your core, but he hits your sensitive spots just right. He seems to pull out more and plunge in deeper - becoming bolder with movement. You try your best not to close your eyes and look at his pair of diluted brown ones. Jaehyun’s got his mouth in a tight line, a dimple popping out as he tries to contain his grunts. The pace your heart beats is impossibly fast, and you wonder why even now that you’ve given all of yourself he makes you feel this way.

Even through the way he cups his hand over your hair, stealing kisses every chance he can get, quickening his pace until you’re moving the bed - somehow he causes this unbearable fluttering in your chest.

“I love you.” You whisper and he halts, catching you off guard. But he thrusts again, kissing any spot of skin his lips could find at the same time.

“I love you.” He repeats even as he runs out of breath. “I love you. I love you. I love you.” The vowels and consonants blend together until in your state of pleasure, the phrase starts to deconstruct - to make less sense. But your hips are arching into his and your fingers are crumpling at the fine linen sheets.

It would be the second time you were cumming, grabbing onto the taut muscles of his forearms clenching around his cock in your convulsions.

This made him go even faster, filling you up with his cum and softly laying against you. Grunting at the sensations.

That night he cleans the two of you up, wanting to snuggle up next to you for the rest of the night.

It’s in love, being in awe about loving someone you still thought was universes and galaxies away. It’s in love of him, the gentle caresses of lamp light upon his face - shadows of his lashes casting on his cheeks. It’s in love of you, the most unexpected kind of person he found completion in.

Somehow the two of you forget that you’re running out time.

Guilt is still a foreign concept to you.

It’s something you think about when you sneak out of Jaehyun’s dorm room after a night of making love (after kicking Jungwoo out to sleep in Taeyong’s room, of course.)

You stare at his peacefully sleeping figure, his arms lazily fishing out for your body and you silently thank heavens that he reaches out for a pillow and thinks that it’s you. Because you look at him like this, you look at the mess the two of you have made, and you remember the ‘I love you’ he told you tonight and what it truly implied.

For the past few days of this second week, he’s been telling you he’d do anything for you. Before the prospects of time were realized the two of you were blinded: him by his own selfish denial of wanting to try, and your generous want to wait.

Until you reminded yourself of who you both were. He would never give this life up, you thought thinking about how much he loved what he did. Singing, dancing, performing - being somebody he constantly tried to rebuild and rebuild and rebuild through all the criticism he received. He still loved it; you’d see that shine in his eyes whenever he talked about his job. How he wouldn’t trade it for anything. And you out of all people would know the feeling of loving something you did. And though you’ve thought of the possibility that he would give it all up for you, you didn’t want to make that choice for him.

Imagining him in the future regretting choosing you instead of chasing his dreams.

You think, sure, maybe if you loved someone enough you would consider giving up all your dreams - everything you worked hard for. Being with the person you loved seemed important enough, although you probably wouldn’t say that you were happy to give up the thing you wanted to pursue.

And of course it was different for Jaehyun, it was different by magnitudes.

“I love you, you know that - right?” He asks you by the end of the second week, although he hasn’t been keeping track. His hands are tracing random patterns on your arms as you lay on the couch with you head on his lap.

All the two of you seem to do is talk about love, and deep down he has to admit that it’s his sneaky way of trying to convince himself that you’re always going to be together. Because when you say those three words back to him, the ribbons of skin that creases with your smile tantalize him.

You just nod, too afraid of making him misunderstand you. For all you know he’s ready to jump ship, but you don’t want him to because he has more oceans to explore.

This is your newfound best friend, formerly only really acquainted with: insecurity.

You wonder if you’re the first he’s ever looked this way to. After all, he’s trained to be charming - trained to always look the part of the ‘first love’ persona he has to carry around. You wonder how easy it would be for him if things didn’t work out between the two of you; thousands of girls came pouring onto him anyway.

The feeling made you small, your mind treading through all kinds of green monsters that didn’t actually exist.

It was a little ridiculous, comparing yourself to every other possibility available to him. He could have anyone he wanted. Someone who was prettier, someone who was Korean - maybe they’d understand him better, or an idol - maybe they’d be the perfect combination.

“Fuck.” He whispers into your ear, as he ruts his cock into you. His right hand is tugging at your hair and you’re carelessly panting in pleasure.

You were barely undressed, only covered in one of his very old sweaters. And he wasn’t much naked either, still wearing the hoodie he wore to the studio.

Apparently practice was tiring today, and they got an ear load from the managers about not meeting some kind of quota. You were feeling a little bit annoyed by graduation preparations for the day, so the two of you found yourselves exhausting frustrations onto each other.

Pressed up against his warm white skin like this, you wonder how long you can make this last in your memory.

Convulsing in overstimulation, you choke out some sobs as your hands messily search for something to grab. His thighs, his arms, any inch of him. Like you were grabbing out for something to take with you when you inevitably have to go.

You want to memorize all of him that you can. When he whispers praises into your ear, when he grunts and uses a little bit more force when he cums inside of you. But also when he kisses at the base of your neck when he’s done. When he only wants to cuddle for the rest of the night and talk about all that’s weighing on his chest.

“Baby?” Jaehyun whispers when you stir in his grasp as the two of you cuddle up in bed.

Being honest is not in your cards, but you remember what you told him fifteen days ago about not holding back. And you think that you were an absolutely overly positive liar.

“Yuno.” His name is course when it leaves your lips, and it doesn’t go ignored by him. “How are we going to make this work out?”

Eyebrows knitting together in confusion, he doesn’t let his confusion go unnoticed. “What?”

You offer him some pathetic semblance of a smile as you slide your fingertips slowly on his arm. “I’m still leaving for New York, you know?” You want him to react differently. In fact you want him to get angry or disappointed, you want him to let go of you so that you won’t have to deal with him letting go of himself just to manage a relationship.

But he doesn’t.

“I know.” He kisses at your temple, “actually I’ve been thinking about it.”

“What’s there to think about?”

Jaehyun hums, “just say the word and I’ll drop everything for you.”

You manage to free yourself off of his grasp within seconds, turning to face him in disbelief. “Jaehyun, no,” you plead with him through the look in your eyes, “don’t.”

“Why?” He looks even frustrated, because just like you - this isn’t the reaction he expected.

“I don’t want you to leave this all behind just because of me,” you feel the tears in your eyes form already, “you love this job, even if it’s too much at times. Jae— you were made to be up there with the stars.”

“Babe,” he takes you by surprise by wrapping his arms around you again, thinking it will

stop the tears from falling from your eyes but it only makes it worse because now you’re crying into his chest, “I just love you, okay? It feels like it’s all I’ve known, and I don’t want to see you this way.”

You’re sure his shirt is left damp by your tears, and you cry even harder because of how stupidly in love he is. Maybe he’s as stupidly in love as you are.

You’re probably the most insensitive, most selfish bitch to ever walk the planet.

That’s what you think the day after when you’re at the airport - bawling your eyes out like a child who’s lost their favorite toy. You have so many bags packed up and you leave in an hour.

You texted Jaehyun earlier today and told him you’d be busy until late because of graduation preparations, but that was a huge lie. Actually you decided not to attend the graduation ceremony and just get your diploma sent out. When he told you he loved you last night you knew it was dangerous for the two of you now, so you thought to clear out your apartment with the help of your co-worker Hoobin and and a few other friends - then book the earliest flight to New York that you could. The place hiring you was eager to have you in anyway.

The goal was to make sure you wiped out any trace of yourself, just so Jaehyun wouldn’t be tempted to find you.

Months pass by and you haven’t heard a single from Jaehyun, and truth be told you’ve been trying to avoid everything related to Korean Pop music altogether.

You think that you don’t deserve to hurt, or even miss him. You don’t deserve to yearn for a stupid text or a stupid letter. This is what you wanted. Blocking any form of contact you had with him and the guys and made sure nobody from university gave away your information no matter how much they’d bribe. You checked in once in a while with Hoobin if any of the boys still went to the café, and apparently it was only Johnny and Mark who came around.

No one spoke a word about you, no one ever asked.

Disappearing from the face of the earth like you were some ghost. You were able to do it.

New York was different, a little louder. The structures of buildings were definitely different, but you got used to getting around after a month.

Once in a while you’d go on your usual social media run through and see a video of Mark or Taeyong, and you’d skip as fast as you could in case Jaehyun’s face would appear. They would look different in photos - hair colors changing.

On accident you saw a photo or two of their recent comeback because one of your co-workers was into k-pop and you just couldn’t avoid it.

A picture never hurt anyone, but you learned that it could. You saw Jaehyun again in the photos, this time with hints of green in his locks. The world itself seemed to be turning against you when you’d see him in fashion magazines, as if he was shoving it in your face.

Guilt is no longer a foreign concept to you, and each time you’re reminded of him it hurts you so much.

He looks better lately, you think. Although the bags under his eyes say he hasn’t been well rested, but you aren’t around to tell him to get some sleep anymore. He seems to be working out more, the muscles really making themselves prominent under his favorite black shirts. He’s gotten way more popular individually too, and it’s something you think he’s always deserved anyway.

In your head you try so hard to reduce Jaehyun back into a handsome face popular online in a completely foreign country, maybe if you disassociated your relationship with him it would be easier to cope with having to see his face once in a while when you didn’t mean to.

You hope he’s forgotten about you, you hope he’s not as messed up as you are. In fact, you hope he’s decided to hate you with every fibre of his being. You hope he’s found somebody else who’s a much better fit, someone who can be his best friend and his lover.

Work has been good, great even. You’ve already been offered a few shoots to be in charge of in the Spring editorial of the magazine.

“Hey Y/N, a client specifically called for you last night but you already left so I just gave them your cell. They might be calling soon, is that alright?” The girl at the front desk tells you when you get to work that morning, you just nod quickly because the coffee you picked up on the way to work might spill.

True enough the phone at your desk rings about thirty minutes later.

“This is Y/N Y/L/N, how may I entertain you?” You greet casually, getting rid of the pumps you were wearing on your feet as you relaxed in your office chair.

“Hey, my favorite barista.” The very voice you know as Mark Lee’s is very recognizable, and you’re tempted to hang up but you don’t.

“Hey Mark!” You say, a little too enthusiastically, but he sounds like he doesn’t hate you so maybe this was the right mood to set.

“Don’t ask how I got your office number,” he chuckles, “it was so easy to google search your name because it’s on the homepage of the website for the place you work.” He already reasons out but you laugh it off.

“Yeah it’s fine, it’s comforting to hear an old friend’s voice.” You assure him. “So, you want some clothes done or what?”

He laughs and you try to listen in if there’s background noise, you wonder if he’s in his dorm room alone or if he’s with the other members. “Actually no, not really, but if you still have one of those jackets from your catalog two months ago then can I order one? It was lit.” The word choice is casual, so Mark.

“Oh yeah, just send me over your measurements and I’ll get one custom made.” You take note with one of your post its, “but why else would you call me?”

“You know, Jaehyun hyung.” He clears his throat because you know Mark Lee can’t handle more than three seconds of anything awkward.

You dread this conversation already, “what about him?” You bite your lip like you’re ready to get scolded, but thankfully Mark isn’t like that.

“Look, I know you haven’t heard from us and we haven’t heard from you. None of us know if you’ve moved on with your life, but I’m like sure Jaehyun hyung’s still a walking train wreck about it. We all know that he has no plans to move on.” He admits.

“I’m not doing any better here either.” It’s pretty self-explanatory, and Mark knows it means you still love Jaehyun.

“Yeah, I get that. The two of you are just really dumb you know?” It’s like he finds this a little entertaining.

“Why’s that?” You want to ask him, because you doubt he’s going to give any useful advice.

“Your idea of the best possible scenario is making him leave you behind to pursue his own path, and his idea of the best possible scenario is dropping everything for you and to follow you wherever you are. But hasn’t it occurred to the two of you dumbasses that it will work out if you leave each other be? It only matters if you two love each other even if you’re miles away.” He blurts out in one go and you’re pleasantly surprised, “just call him or call me first when you’re ready. You can trace my number back so just do that if you want to.” He hangs up before you can say anything.

You almost choke on your bagel when you see NCT 127 on morning television the day after Mark called you. Yep, you knew you should have put the cream cheese; this bite was hard to swallow now that you were watching them.

So you rush into work again, same hot coffee in your hands as you make your way up to your office floor. Thank god you could hide in the privacy of the office space you had, working in the company meant that they gave you free space to be able to make clothes and relax.

Except when you get there you find out that your concept of having a safe space was completely destroyed. Safe spaces didn’t exist when the things you were running away from

were chasing you from inside your mind. In this case it was made even worse; the thing (person, to be technically correct about it) you were running away from came in the form of Jeong Jaehyun.

He’s just staring there at you, green highlighted hair and all. Same suede shoes, same black shirt, and same olive green jacket.

“What are you doing here?” You’re choking on words but he still stares at you like how Patrick Verona looked at Kat Stratford in that poem reading scene in 10 Things I Hate About You. A look you’ve never thought a guy would ever give to you - but hey, Jaehyun was. In a bittersweet way, he could play that tole.

“Have you eaten?” He pushes your queries aside but he still looks at you like that.

“I almost asphyxiated on a bagel a while ago, actually.” Because of him, you just add in your mind.

“And now you’re drinking coffee?” He chuckles to himself as his eyes shamelessly scan to more than just your coffee cup, “aren’t you tired of that stuff?” You know he remembers that one time you said you were never going near a coffee bean ever again that one time you were tired from your part time job.

That organ in your chest aches, and when you answer with silence it hurts even more.

Why wasn’t he screaming at you?

Why didn’t he look like he was angry?

Why wasn’t he telling you that you were a heartless bitch?

Why was he just standing there looking at you like the first time?

Coffee cup forgotten as you set it down on your desk, Jaehyun standing there looking frozen. He can feel the shift in your posture too, like the two of you have perfected the art of reading each other’s body language.

“This is the part when you tell me you hate my guts, you know?” Your words are teetering uncomfortably, and you’re suddenly hyperaware of all the goosebumps that line your skin.

“I don’t hate you,” he sighs and you notice that he isn’t even running low on patience, nothing angry nor negative replaces his demeanor. Jaehyun remains to be warm, even as you stand far apart. “Why would I ever hate you?” He asks.

When you find it a little bit hard to breathe Jaehyun continues to speak. “I haven’t seen you in so long and you look a bit different in appearance, but I could never be mad at you. I haven’t heard your voice in months aside from the videos I kept in my phone, but I could never resent you. Y/N, I’m standing right in front of you in New York fucking City and I know I don’t have it in me to think a single negative thing about you. I love you even if you’re difficult like that.” He takes five steps forward, but he’s still about ten steps too far away.

Everything rational about you, everything that tells you that this is a mistake shuts down. You want to dissect every single thing about Jaehyun and make all kinds of most probable assumptions about him, but now you know you’re awfully wrong. Every fear you’ve fabricated in your head is the exact opposite thing Jaehyun would have ever done.

“When you disappeared, I knew where you were. I cried like a loser all the time, but I thought that if this was what you wanted then I’d try my best to give you that. Maybe we jumped on way too quickly when we realized we were in love and we stopped thinking logically, but I had so much time and space to think. This time I’m sure about what I want, and it’s still you.” He finishes, taking ten slow steps toward you.

Now you’re a mess of tear works. What kind of man would hang onto love for so long without being sure if your love had also stayed?

“You’re not supposed to want me anymore.” It sounds like you’re sobbing on your words.

He scoffs, but only because it’s ridiculous how much you want him not to love you. “You’re all I want, you’re all I ever want.” His fingertips find their way to tuck your stray strands of hair behind your ear, and your head tilts to face him - his figure towering against yours. While you’re aware you probably look like a whole mess, he looks at you like you’re the most precious thing his eyes have ever lain on. “You can tell me you don’t love me anymore and I’ll try to move on, but I know I can’t. Or you can tell me you love me and we can make this work without putting our own lives on hold.” He proposes, and you sniffle.

“Of course I still love you,” you punch softly at his chest, frustrated that he could love you like this, “I could have ended up in the North Pole and I know I’d still love you.” You cry even harder, but he wraps you up tightly in his arms - your head buried in his chest.

You relish in this comfort, the familiar beat of his heart and the warmth he exudes. You feel at home again.

“Don’t leave me again.” He asks of you and you nod quickly.

“God, we’re so stupid.” You mutter, tears are still falling from your eyes but at a slower rate.

“I can’t say it’s stupid if we took the time to learn.” He looks so proud of himself at his attempt to sound wise, but you take your small hands and smooth it over his jaw. Thumb on the dimple that peeks when he smiles down at you.

“I’m sorry.” You tell him, but he nods ever so slightly.

“I understand.” He shushes you by closing the distance between your lips, and your heart feels stuffed.

Flying from New York to Seoul and back again is tiring, but you weren’t complaining.

The stylists that worked with Mark really liked the jacket you made for him (yes, he really did actually order one) and asked where he got it. A few arrangements later and you’ve graduated from a part time working barista, to foreign exchange student in fashion school, to a trusted collaborative designer for the boys’ clothing.

Maybe the greatest acting gig you were ever going to pull off— pretending not to be dating Jaehyun whenever the other staff members were around.

This time the boys were in the office you had in Seoul, getting measurements taken for their comeback outfits. But everyone else was lounging around in the big couches because they were done, so you were left with your boyfriend in the section where you kept your fabrics.

“Stop making my job harder.” You complain as you wrap your measuring tape around Jaehyun’s thighs.

But he smugly lets out a whistle, “you weren’t on your knees when you were measuring the other members’ pant sizes.” He teases, but he’s right - you were on your knees only for him.

To spite him you place your cheek on his thigh to pretend like you were going to do a better job if you switched up your position. “Babe, I know more about your inches than anyone here.”

“Yeah?” He’s excited.

“I even use my mouth so you can slide it in—“

“Woah, guys, language.” Johnny barges in and you immediately pull away and stand up, and Jaehyun’s just as disturbed.

“Yeah we can hear you, you know.” Mark remarks behind Johnny.

“Well then can you please warn us that we’re audible before I make innuendos about sucking off my boyfriend?” You cross your arms at the two boys who just came in, chuckling to themselves.

Jaehyun rests his chin on your shoulders from behind you, wrapping his arms upon your own.

“We made this union happen.” Mark argues, and you continue to send daggers through your eyes.

Jaehyun kisses at your cheek and Johnny and Mark make sounds of disgust, enough to make them scramble away when you kiss Jaehyun’s cheeks back.

The two of you laugh, catching each other’s eyes when you get lost at your close proximity.

“I love you.” You both accidentally say at the same time.

And like always, you pull each other in.

Fin.

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