#How am i supposed to deal

[shmooooo]

WHAT THE FUCK, JIUNG

#how am i supposed to deal #p1harmony #jiung

[femme-et-traditionnelle]

On an emotional roller-coaster right now

#can't sleep #even though i though i would just fall after spending all my energy crying today (yesterday now #i look like a zombie but can't keep still #my mind is racing #so many bad things happened in just 24 hours #how am i supposed to deal #my only ways to deal with overflowing emotions in the past were harmful or sinful or both #fighting really hard not to fall again #also i forgot to take my pills for two days i a row #i guess i am paying for it now #personal

[clairenatural]

okay but you see sam has ALSO fallen for dean's act. sam also believes dean to be the macho, daddy's soldier, beer boobs cars guy he presents himself as. this is why sam makes fun of dean whenever he even lightly steps out of that mold and thinks it's harmless banter instead of attacking an insecurity. it's why he laughs when john talks down to dean in the early seasons and it's why he seems surprised when dean is more comfortable with himself in the later seasons. it's why he just scoffs but doesn't push it when dean puts up a front and refuses to talk about his emotions and just accepts whatever excuse he makes at face value. it's why he offers dean a strip club to make him feel better when cas dies. and this isn't his fault!! dean has spent a very long time perfecting this image in front of everyone and ESPECIALLY to sam because along with it comes safety and security and stability and the only person. who has consistently been able to see through it. is castiel

#charlie also a bit bc dean doesn't have to be desirable to her as a man or as a son #altho i would argue that she doesn't see through him he just doesn't perform as much for her. cas actively sees through it #this is why sam has never caught on to dean being queer also. btw. dean isn't closeted he's just never made a big deal of telling sam #you never really know your parents just the version of them they want you to see etc etc #anyway this is also why sam is thought to be More Sensitive in comparison #by people who have also fallen for the Act. i call this the General Audience Dean Act #because it was who he was SUPPOSED to be from kripke's pen until jensen went ummmmm no. he has trauma :) and forcibly gave him layers #this is also not samcrit btw i always need to clarify that #i am bad at sam studies but i think you could also write posts (and ppl have) about how dean doesn't truly know sam either #bc he has Little Baby Brother zoned him forever even though he is almost 40 by the end of s15

[wasyago]

we're at it again🕺

#jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #my art #sketch #back on my bullshit woo yeah woo yeah woo yeah #genuinely a lot happier with this design than the previous ones. the lighter metal looks better on him #and this one doesn't have a lot of detail (or any detail tbh) so it looks more solid and fun i think #and you can see im trying to figure out how gill would carry his sword around #technically he should just carry it in his hands and don't have a scabbard because its a longsword and isn't supposed to be sheathed... #but like... its not practical to always carry it in his hands. especially in a day to day life. because he always has the sword on him- #but he doesn't necessarily always hold it? like. he needs hands for stuff #i think i like the back scabbard better (even if i drew the whole turnaround for the hip one) just because it doesn't mess with his tail #plus that way destiny's blade is higher up and gets to look around at stuff and i think its funny #but then like... the cape is a little awkward if it has to go above the sword... #but its not a big deal. if he has a cape and armor on he probably holds the sword in his hands anyway #am i putting too much thought into this unnecessary detail? yes #am i rambling in the tags again instead of making a separate post? also yes

[baldchristianborle]

ao3 is down and i am on vacation.

#ao3 #i’m just a girl in a world how am i supposed to deal with this

[mishapen-dear]

oh im gonna be SO annoying about bbh in a minute. i keep saying the same thing over and over again but his character is too fucking complex motherfucker is like:

"i'm a demon who is 11,000 years old and i refuse to acknowledge that im a demon nor that i do bad things (like steal furniture) but i will help people every chance i get despite saying im going to stop doing that and i am going to devote my life to protecting these fragile little eggs even though i know im going to lose them one day because i love them too much (and i know i can do that and it will one day be okay, because i have an immortal diamond to keep me company even if he isn't here now). when my friend throws himself beneath the spokewheel of the federation i will be there, bitter about my loss, but i will not start a revolution until he proves he deserves one. i will do what i can to safeguard his system against corruption because i am afraid the federation will use him to hurt us. i know he doesn't want to hurt us. he keeps hurting me. he is isolated by our distrust in him and he is still working hard to try to be a good person in an inherently corrupt system that cannot be fixed so i will build him a statue. i will not kill him when he takes a picture of me in the presidential chair (that was almost mine) and puts it on his wall and calls me 'employee of the month.' i didn't do all of that work for the federation i did it for him like i do it for others because they are my friends. i will exhaust every option i have to build a reason to NOT start a revolution. to not kill him. because i have to say that i tried. i feel like i have made so many compromises. i have held myself back to try to find reason. i will still remove his access to my base. when the island turns against me and he locks me in a cage for a crime i did not commit, i will remove everyone's access (except for my family the french and my family the eggs). i am having fun. when the eggs appear the next day with cracks and dirty shells i will worry, but i know they're strong. they'll be okay. (when i find my son's secret lab and his unethical experiments that cause him harm i will be proud because he has done what i do. he has helped. i want him to be safe but we are never safe and i trust him more than anyone else. i know now, and i can help him be safe.) when the eggs go missing i will be silent. i will look for them, and i will destroy for them, and i will bargain for them, and i will cry for them, and i will not accept their loss. when my friend who is president who once built a safehouse that saved my eggs' lives is finally damaged by the federation (like i knew he would be when he became president) and he starts to hurt people by pushing the same treatment onto them i will not be surprised. i will be surprised when he tries to marry me. i will not blame him (much) when he tries to kill me. our children are missing. he is forced to pretend that his is not. i wish i could too. i will not tell him yes or no because i need an open avenue to manipulate him (because to save him i will have to manipulate him). i will not marry him because he is out of his mind. i have said marriage is overrated. i have also said that i want to live with him in a house with our kids and my skeppy. when he tells me that he wants to be happy with me i will still say 'aw' because it is the most genuine thing he has said to me and i miss my friend. i will still try to kill him. i fail to kill him with someone else's plan. i don't place a block to lock him in place. i hesitate. it doesn't matter if it's on purpose because the next plan works. i will reveal an item that could destroy me to my closest allies (and tubbo) because it will let us save him. we save him. when he kills himself 18 times over i back away from the explosion in surprise and then step close again. while i have grieved i have thrown myself into mines. it doesn't matter. i am numb and want to feel something. everything has lost colour. we save him.

i visit federation workers and ask them about my eggs and they do not tell me anything. i know they are lying. i visit the graveyard to talk to my lost eggs. i have lost all of the eggs. i do not know how to save them. i lay in the mud. it rains and rain signifies the monster has returned to kill my children but my children are not here and so i do not care. when i go home i will become so angry and i will go down to my basement (which i have locked like my friend locked the entrance to his greatest fantasy. we are so alike and our delusions are different. he child was real; here is the secret to finding my children) where i have locked a federation worker away. i will not wash away the blood stains.

i am also part-time grim reaper and i only ever dress up in robes to make people drink more water."

#this was supposed to be a quick summary of his character. help. #this is a quick warning about the other bigger post i am writing about him and how his Whole Deal and World View is and why he's being so #soft with forever despite the Nightmare Horrors #to put it more simply: he's built different #qsmp #bbh #q badboyhalo #qsmp character analysis #<- more like qsmp character 'here is everything about this character but hang on there's even More' #HELLPPPPP IM IN THE TRENCHESSSS #did you know there's a 4096 character limit on a block of text. guess how i found that out #but everything is SO IMPORTANT to how he reacts to everything else #he holds grudges like nobody's business but he's also a hypocrite and plays favourites #he's stubborn and Chooses enemies and friends and there are always lines to cross but he understands context #and the forever thing has the context of bad looking at him and going 'i know what you're feeling. i know why you're doing this.' #'i know i would be worse'

[qsmpcryptid]

BAD DEPARTING ALL THIS WISDOM ABOUT GRIEF OM THE EGGS SO THE KIDS THEMSELVES CAN FOLLOW IT WHEN HE DIES............

#WHEN YOU LOSE SOMEONE YOU ALWAYS ASK “WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW” AND “HOW DO I DEAL WITH THIS” #AND HES LITERALLY GIVING THEM THE ANSWER #I HATE IT HEREEEEE #qsmp #qsmp badboyhalo #qsmp richarlyson

[embellishedbookworm]

tumblr's dying. again.

so who'd shocked? this is like, the 3rd death, at least. i don't know, this place has been driving into the ground more times than i can count and god knows it's not like the current management has done any better.

when you need a dashboard unfucker script on top of a rewritten xkit to make it manageable, maybe you have a history of issues.

but here, this post explains what's going on better than i can.

the original post had its reblogs locked so i can't do that, this will have to do.

#tumblr #tumblr dying #rip tumblr #is this ooc? #we just don't know #i mean it's real news #but this is what i do on tumblr #so how else am i supposed to deal with this?

[dogstomp]

Dogstomp #3043 - May 1st

Patreon / Discord Server / Itaku / Bluesky

#How am I supposed to practice dealing with panic attacks if I never naturally have them? #comic diary #daily comic #comic journal #autobio comics #comics #webcomics #furry #furry art #weed #marijuana #may 1 2023 #comic 3043 #slice of life

[sawvhs]

they really arent pulling any punches with this thing huh

#saw the musical #chainshipping #saw 2004 #so do they fuck nasty or what #how am i supposed to deal with this. #video #click

[musingsofamisfit]

Rich

Riches are not all monetary

My riches are valuable only to me

For I am rich in relations,

Rich in my friendships,

Hell my family even (to an extent)

Yet I feel empty.

I am surrounded by wealth in the best forms

And I do not feel the warmth is used to give me

Instead I feel cold, soulless, seeking more

Diving into the past shouldn't erase the present

And here I stand unable to recognize this is mine

These riches are those of me now,

Not of my past self

My past is still processing the trauma they lived thru

Grappling with the fact that they deserved more

And can't accept that current me is our only comfort

The wealth I have accumulated was built in the last two years,

The me that exists ten years ago doesn't know they are allowed to take

It was not built in a day, and it is meant to be there for him to use, to heal

Telling him that?

Next to impossible.

He doesn't even know who HE is, still trapped within the confines of womanhood

A solo mission of re-education,

And I am his only teacher, despite my riches

Because how can I be rich and unable to use the benefits of these relationships?

Inaccessible wealth is meaningless,

Asking for help...

Using what I have built...

...I don't know how...

~zen

#personal #original poem #poem #aquarius #poetry #spilled ink #spilled poetry #lgbtq #how the fuck am i supposed to deal with this #i want to be able to use my resources #inaccessible riches are meaningless

[even-if-in-another-time]

btw not even slightly joking i will never fucking get how skin conditions came to be seen as something not conventionally attractive like man. are we looking at the same fucking people. people w acne on the sides of their faces??? with red spots across their cheeks and nose and forehead and the edges of their lips??? people with spots across their shoulderblades and back??? jfc they’re so pretty i wanna scream. people with acne and rosacea and dermatillomania all all all kinds of skin conditions that i didn't mention ily i am kissing u on the nose/sticking a lil gold star sticker on you. right now.

#acne positivity #skin positivity #dermatillomania #rosacea #look at me slowly learning to love my skin by loving others like me :) #i am being so /gen by the way people with acne on their backs are so. fbdjdbdhbdbdhdbdbdf #everyone is so gorgeous man!!! how am i supposed to deal with it !!!!!! #dermatillomania mention #pls let me know if i forgot to tag something <333

[salsa-di-pomodoro]

NO WAIT I DIDNT KNOW IT STILL TELLS YOU YOURE IN FIVE PEBBLES WHEN YOU REACH THE ONCE ROOF OF HIS CAN 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

#rain world #rainworld #five pebbles #rain world saint spoilers #just to be safe #how am i supposed to deal with this information btw #i know i am going to be so devastated when i finally reach him myself #even though ive already seen his condition. god

[heldenherzchen]

i see you there; don't know where you come from. unaware the stare from someone - don't appear to care that i saw you. turn around & you're walking toward me. i'm breaking down & you're breathing slowly. we're coming close & then even closer. we bring it in - but we go no further. we're separate: two ghosts in one mirror - no nearer. you're coming to, but you're slow in waking. you start to shake, you still haven't spoken; what happened? they're coming back & you just dont know when. you want to cry but there's nothing coming. they're gonna push until you give in or say when. it all began with the man and country. every plan turns another century around again; another nation has fallen. maybe god can be on both sides of the gun; never understood why. some of us never get it so good, so good. some of this was here before us - all of this will go after us. it never stops until we give in. — "say when" (the fray)

#mission impossible #benji dunn #solomon lane #my art #i really kinda wanna tag this: #lanedunn #✨😌 #so yeah #let my boy deal with his ptsd!!!! #😤😤😤 #also: lane is just like a figment of benji's imagination and not really there? #i hope i got that across #lmao #and this is supposed to be right after kashmir and i know lane wouldn't look like that but yeah #creative freedom and stuff like that ✌️ #he also punched the mirror to get rid of mirror!lane #idk how to draw cracks and shattered glass lmao #i am still learning y'all

[eerna]

honestly Noragami deserves some kind of an award for being the most intense downward spiral of "it can't get any worse than THIS, right???" I've ever read. I haven't known peace since Kazuma did that stupid spell on Yukine and it's only gone downwards from there

#we're on the FINAL CHAPTER. like even if it is twice the length of an usual chapter it is still the LAST ONE. #and THINGS HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIGGIN WORSE. #isn't the final chapter supposed to WIND THINGS DOWN and DEAL THE FINAL BLOW TO THE VILLAIN and then be DEDICATED TO WHERE ARE THEY NOW #so WHY are we doing THIS then. #noragami liveblog #noragami spoilers #like 10000 times over the past 9 years i've made the ''adachitoka when i said i wanted X to happen i didn't mean it like THIS'' joke and it #just keeps. happening again. yatori meets again after half a decade and it's only so that she can be MURDERED IN FRONT OF HIM #WHILE HE IS SCREAMING AND BLAMING HIMSELF AND THINKING ABOUT SAKURA AND HOW HE GOT HER KILLED TOO #YUKINE WATCHED IT HAPPEN BUT COULD ONLY BARK IN PAIN #and not only that. the GODS ARE KILLING PEOPLE THE SHINKI ARE STINGING THEIR MASTERS LEFT AND RIGHT #I HATE THIS. THIS IS SO EVIL. I AM SO SAD. #anyway hiyori better be fake dead. this better not be happening. idc if her return is unrealistic i dont CARE she CANNOT DIE

[musubiki]

recently thinking about the tcwg episode where mochis mob spell finally starts running out. apparently its maximum possible usage is 10 years (which they find out from pom) and appearently tiramisu put it on her too soon,,... when they ask her she says "Oh...you were such a cute kid I didn't want to wait too long!!" while pinching her cheeks, and suddenly theres a few more people at school who are like "Hey...I never really noticed but...Mochi is kinda pretty, huh?"

for the people who start to notice, they chalk it up to "Maybe she hit puberty late...?" or something, but regardless she has 1 or 2 more people actually ask her out, and lime starts to realize how much it bothers him

#text #bpp #lore #she is....not used to it #mayhaps let this be the moment lime realizes #the pitcher on the baseball team one day standing next to lime and goes (So....mochi doesnt have a boyfriend right?) #and lime takes a very long pause #(technically no but first of all what the hell? no one ever notices her. and second of all i feel sick to my stomach) -lime thoughts #pom: it should be fine. youre almost graduated so you dont have to deal with it much longer #and mochi trying to grapple with the idea that some people actually think shes pretty #(besides her mom and coco. theyre the only people who tell her and she thinks theyre being nice) #shes like (i think theyre lying...) #(they are definately not lying) -lime thoughts again #only like 2 people have enough bravery. the others are like (shit shes limes girl though....how am i supposed to compete with that) #the mob spell is op but only for a little while #and after it runs out it cant be recast on the same person #lime didnt realize that she doesnt think shes pretty at all #when that guy confesses to her the first thing she says is (you...think im pretty?) #coco oscar and lime all hovering outside the classroom listening