#How are you coping Katie

[passelofopossums]

Re-watched Batman Forever and Two-Face and Riddler are really just like: me and the bestie in a silly goofy mood #girlsnight

#a girls night if you will #maybe even california gurls by katy perry #sorry I’m like not in a great state and this is how I cope #baby-girlifying two grown men #batman forever #riddler #two-face #harvey dent

[woso-dreamzzz]

Different

Arsenal Women x Teen!Reader

Summary: You're different from the other kids

To your Mam, it was like the end of the world.

To you, it was something you had seen approaching from a while away. You'd never been the most coordinated of people. Your spatial awareness was terrible and it was like your limbs applied what your brain told them with a five-second delay.

You'd known since you were little that you were different.

You think your Mam knew too.

You'd never really been able to play football with her, no matter how hard you'd tried when you were younger. Sports weren't your thing.

You knew that she was disappointed in that but she'd tried to find different hobbies for you.

You had cried after your third guitar lesson, your fingers making it difficult to pluck the strings, and you felt the same way about art.

It was only a matter of time that something like this happened. Honestly, you think it should have happened long before that.

Your teachers had always been willing to sweep your bad handwriting under the rug. They had always written it off as you not caring enough or having no interest in the lesson. You were scatterbrained at times and got easily distracted when you were bored. Your hands shook at the idea of catching a ball or using a paintbrush.

Everyone had just put it down to being a slow learner with low self-esteem.

Nobody ever realised you had never really improved.

Except for your math's teacher.

He had noticed the signs this year when he took over your class.

So, here you were, sat in the canteen at Arsenal with hunched shoulders as your mother ranted and raved to the others.

"There's nothing wrong with her!" Katie denied as she paced back and forth in front of you. "Who the hell does he think he is? Saying there's something wrong with her?"

"He actually said that?" Leah asked, eyes wide.

Katie dropped her arms. "Essentially! He said that it was in her best interest to get her tested! There's nothing wrong with her!"

You held your tongue. There was something wrong with you, you thought. You knew you were different to the other kids. You'd made your peace with that a while ago.

You had your exams next year and you dreaded it. It took you nearly a full week to write essays. You didn't know how you would cope if you had to write them under exam conditions.

You clutched at your school report, willing yourself not to cry. It was all the same, each and every one of them.

Homework Performance: Below Average

Assessment Performance: Below Average

In Class Contributions: Average

Overall Grade: F

Comments: y/n is a very bright girl in one-on-one or class discussions but needs to apply herself more in her written work

It was the same thing over and over again. You could do nothing right when it came to written work. You could barely hold your pen or finish off your thoughts within the time frame of your mocks.

"How dare they!" Steph continued, jumping in on what your Mam was saying. "She's very smart! Katie, you can't let them treat her like this!"

You blinked away your tears as Beth ran a soothing hand up and down your arm.

"I'll be having words!" Katie insisted," There's nothing wrong with her! It's not her fault they're not teaching her properly!"

You loved your Mam, you really did but you could never get a word in about this stuff. It had been a constant problem that started all the way back in Year 2 when your teacher brought up serious worries.

'She's just a slow learner' your Mam had insisted. 'She'll get there' she'd promised.

Only you weren't a slow learner and you never did get there.

It was like the rest of your classmates had left you behind in a marathon and you were sprinting just trying to catch up. They had left you behind in the dust until they were nothing but specks in the distance while you had already collapsed from the exhaustion of it all.

You never even crossed the starting line.

More tears fell onto your closed fists. It took everything in you not to cry out loud.

"It's okay," Alessia said softly to you," Katie'll sort it out."

You didn't want Mam to sort it out. You didn't want this to be swept away again.

Your exams were next year and you just wanted someone to fix you. You wanted someone to tell you what was so fucked up in the head that holding a pen in your hand was your version of playing against prime Barcelona for the rest of your life.

"Hey," Leah said. Her hand was on your shoulder now and you tried not to flinch away, hunching your back so you could curl into yourself. "This means nothing. You're so smart and if those teachers are grading you unfairly then Katie's gonna let them have it."

"They're not grading me unfairly," You choked out," I just can't write. Leah, I can't write anything."

"Your handwriting's a little messy," Leah tried to soothe you, not knowing that her misunderstanding of the situation was making everything worse," But that's okay. You've got plenty of time to work on it."

Your eyes flicked to look at her, red and puffy as you beseeched her to understand," I've been working on it my whole life, Leah. I can't write."

"You can."

"Thanks but I need realism right now. I'm failing. Because I can't write during an exam. GCSEs are next summer. I'm screwed."

"It's plenty of time!" Leah said, still trying to hype you up," You'll get there."

"That's what everyone says," You grumbled. You tucked your school report back into your bag.

Your Mam had been writing those off for years, adamant that the teachers were just harsh on you, that slow and steady wins the race. But the race had been long over by now and you were probably closer to the beginning than the finishing line.

"Don't listen to that stupid man," Mam said as she came closer, cradling your cheeks in her hands," He doesn't know what he's talking about. There's nothing to test you about. You're perfect."

You certainly didn't feel perfect. You felt like your world was crumbling and your hands were shaking too much to haul yourself to safety.

You sighed and finally spoke," I want to be tested."

Mam's face turned thundery. "You've no reason to be tested. There's nothing wrong with you."

"There is Mam!" You weren't usually one to shout but this had gone on long enough. "I know it and you know it too. There's something wrong with me."

"There's nothing wrong. You're just a bit different but that's okay."

You pulled yourself out of her arms. "I want to be tested. I'm different to the others and I want to know why."

Mam looked like she wanted to argue but someone came to your rescue.

"Katie," Kim said," Get her tested. I know what you're feeling like but, seriously, get her tested, if only so you can be right and you can yell at more teachers. But, if there is something that's affecting her, surely, you want to get support for her?"

Mam sighed, looking over at you as you sobbed in Viv's arms.

She'd known you were different when you didn't hit your milestones as a baby. You were slow to crawl and slow to walk. She knew you were different the moment you let her throw a ball in your face instead of trying to catch it. She knew you were different when you came home in tears at age five because you couldn't write properly or when you got teased at school because your shaking hands couldn't control the paintbrush either.

Katie knew you were different but that didn't mean you were broken. Being tested for something made it seem like there was something wrong. There was nothing wrong with you and Katie would kill anyone who insinuated otherwise.

"Katie," Kim said again," She wants to be tested. Her teachers think it's a good idea. She needs this if only to be a bit more settled."

Katie looked back at you as Lia and Laura offered you food and drink to refuel from your impromptu public breakdown. She sighed.

"I'll...I'll call her Maths teacher back, see if he says any recommendations for where."

#woso x reader #arsenal wfc x reader #arsenal x reader #arsenal wfc #woso community #woso fanfics #woso imagine #woso

[totaly-obsessed]

Could you write for ella toone that's angst like she looses a match or something and takes it out on r and then tries everything to make it up to r

Groveling Time

Ella Toone x reader request

-> Ella does not cope well after losing a game and takes her anger out on you, her girlfriend

-> First request! Let me know what you think!

➳ Masterlist

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

Gamedays were always special, especially for Ella. Being able to represent her childhood club with you by her side was so dear and near to her heart – she loved every single moment of it.

With the new season and not only Alessia missing from the Manchester United crew, but many of her friends having changed clubs, it was tough for the brunette and it was hard on her mind.

You were her rock. She loved knowing that she could lean on you if she ever needed to – a realization that had not come easy to her.

But this week was different, and you both knew it. It was yet another Sunday and Manchester United would meet Manchester City in a derby. This alone was another level of stress, there would be a huge upturn to the game with fans being very dedicated to their respective teams.

But the worst thing for Ella? You could not be there.

It was your grandma’s eightieth birthday and with her being very sick, your family never knew how much longer they had with her. You had asked Ella if she wanted to join you because then you would try to convince the rest of the family to push it to Monday – but your girlfriend insisted that she would be fine and that she wanted you to have a nice day with your family.

During dinner you tried to check your phone as often as you could, trying to stay updated on how your girlfriend’s team was doing. Seeing the 2-0 to Manchester City before the halftime break was hard, knowing how much Ella would blame herself, looking for mistakes in herself. Being the ‘worlds-best girlfriend’ as Ella crowned you, was not easy – but you decided to shoot her a quick text during the break.

‘Hello Gorgeous! Keep ya head up – cannot wait to see you tonight. I love you so much.’

It was sappy, but you knew that the young lioness loved it even if she would deny it till the day she died.

You arrived home before Ella did – so you made dinner.

Ella’s comfort food, knowing that she would not take the 3-0 loss easy. Some leftover cake was chilling in the fridge, waiting for dessert.

But it was getting later and later by the second – without Ella showing up at your shared home. You had texted Katie Zelem oven an hour ago, asking if she was with her and if they had plans for the night. The Manchester United captain however could not help you with your search for your girlfriend – telling you that Ella had left in her car as soon as she could.

By now you were incredibly hungry, having waited for the brunette for three hours seated on the couch, preparing lessons for the following day. At some point, you had turned the stove off and put everything in Tupperware placing it next to the cake in the fridge.

After waiting for a while longer, you started writing a little note to your girlfriend that you placed where she stored her bag so that she would definitely see it. ‘I was tired. ‘Dinner is in the fridge – cake too. Love you!’

You had already gotten ready for bed and nearly fallen asleep when you heard the front door fall shut. With slow steps, you trotted down the steps “Ella?” But you did not get an answer.

With your note in hand, your girlfriend stood in the kitchen. You tripped over her shoes that she had just flung onto the floor, the entryway being a complete mess. Bag in one direction, shoes in another – her jacket just in the middle of the ground. “Baby?”

She had her back turned to you, hands balled to fists by her side, your note crumbled in of them. There still was no reaction. You had gotten closer now, resting your hand on her back, trying to comfort her – but she shrugged you off. “Couldn’t have waited for me huh? First, you don’t show up for my game and then you don't even wait for me!”

Sure, she usually had a loud voice, but now she was just yelling into your face. Ella had turned around with so much force, that she had pushed you back a little. “I’m sorry baby but I was at my grand-“

“I don’t care! You should put me first! We lost because of you and your selfishness!” Tears were quickly making their way to your eyes, mirroring the brunette's bloodshot ones.

She clearly was not herself right now, so you tried to avert her attention. “Do you want me to heat up dinner?” A sharp scoff left you flinching back once she ripped the fridge open.

“No need – you didn’t even wait for me. Already ate huh? What a nice day. Leaving your girlfriend hanging, visiting your stupid family, and eating alone. How fun.” Her words hurt, she spat at you with such anger that it terrified you.

You had never thought that you would fear Ella. But the usually bubbly and funny girl was not herself right now. “And what are you wearing? Always stealing my shit! Don’t you have clothes for yourself?”

Tears were running down your cheeks as you looked at your mirror image in the dark window. You were wearing one of Ellas' big shirts – she usually loved seeing you in her clothes, even making you change out of your own so that you could wear hers.

“I think I will just go to bed baby. Maybe you will have calmed down tomorrow.” Your feet were already on the stairs as you heard her muttering “Sure. Just leave me like you always do.”

It hurt, so much. You opted for the guest bedroom, leaving the brunette in the comfort of your joined room. Once upon a time, you had thought that maybe, just maybe this room could be used for your future child.

If there even was a joined future.

But you were determined to work at what was wrong – not wanting to throw everything away just like that. But Ella did not even enter the bedroom, she left again, the door falling into place behind her as you heard the car start outside.

Just as a precaution, you texted Katie as well As Mary and Millie – explaining to them that Ella was in a bad mood and to please tell you if she showed up at their place so that you knew that she was safe.

It was Mary who was the last to answer, telling you that your girlfriend was at her home.

Now that you had time to settle, the anger set in. So instead of sleeping like intended, you sorted your clothes – taking every single piece of clothing that you had from Ella, folding it neatly, and setting it down on her side of the bed.

As much as you wanted to, you couldn’t just hide her training gear – placing everything neatly in place. As angry as you were that Ella took her own anger out on you, you could never deliberately do something that could hurt her career.

The dinner in the fridge that neither of you had eaten was turned into your lunch at school – your students excitedly asking about it.

Ella meanwhile had gotten her brainwashed by Mary as she crashed on her couch – the goalkeeper refusing to give her teammate the guest bedroom.

The brunette knew that she had messed up.

Your joined home was empty when she came back in the morning. Her chaos was gone, as was the food in the fridge – once entering the bedroom she saw all her clothes. The clothes she loved to see you in.

Her heart broke even further. How could she hurt you like that?

After allowing herself to cry for a couple of minutes, hugging your pillow close to her your note from the night before tightly pressed to her chest, she took a shower and started to prepare.

It was groveling time.

It was still much too early to start dinner for when you came home, so she started with her folded clothes. The brunette put them back into the closet – your side of it. She didn’t want you to stop wearing them.

After that she started the already full dishwasher and washing machine in the time those were running, she started to remove the stains on the couch that you had been complaining about forever now. After emptying the dishwasher and starting the dryer, Ella turned to your most neglected room – your office.

The desk was a mess and there were papers all over the room. She started with sorting the papers – art projects of your students into one folder, and vocabulary tests that you had yet to grade in another one.

After a while she had made a good dent into your chaos – so that she could actually see the table again. It took her two hours until she considered the room as done – putting the vacuum back in its rightful place.

The time on the clock nearly gave her a heart attack – it was time to start dinner and prepare her speech.

Entering your home felt like entering the lion’s den – and you hated it.

The smell of dinner was overwhelming. You did not know what you had been expecting but fresh flowers, cooked dinner, and a cleaned house were not what you had in mind.

It seemed like Ella knew that she had seriously messed up.

“Hello, Ella.”

The brunette at the stove turned around at the speed of light at your voice – not having heard you walk in. “Hi, baby.”

The smile on her face was hesitant but seeing you, without steam coming out of your ears seriously calmed her down. “I think I have something to make up to you.”

It did not take a trained eye to see just how nervous the footballer was – but being her girlfriend certainly helps. “I think you do – but before you start, I would like to hear that you’re sorry and what made you act that way.”

Big eyes looked at you – head nodding so fast that you doubted that Ella could actually see clearly. It was safe to say, that you were spoiled for the evening – Ella making sure that you could not stay mad at her with everything in her power.

#woso x reader #woso imagine #woso #engwnt x reader #woso imagines #ella toone x reader #ella toone #man united wfc x reader #lionesses x reader

[reminiscingtonight]

Habit To Kick

Leah Williamson x Reader

Word Count: 1.1k

A/N: Listened to 90 Days by P!nk and Wrabel and this was the product

[WOSO Masterlist]

It’s the little things.

Humming in the kitchen, feet jokingly kicking at you whenever you walk by her spot perched on the counter. A hand on your back as she reaches over you to grab the hat you carelessly threw on top of the cabinet, a toothy smile as she pulls it on a little too low on your head.

It’s easy to love Leah.

When you're wearing a jacket of hers, laughing off a joke when someone asks why you’re wearing it. When Leah makes up an excuse of your clumsiness resulting in a shirt full of sauce, an act of kindness, rather than the truth of you slipping out her house at 5am, a little too early to be anything other than the end of a night spent together.

You love her, but you have an inkling she doesn’t love you the same.

It began with tinted car windows. Dates held in secrecy. You’ve always fancied the English captain. It came as a shock when she seemingly fancied you back. 

You understood her want to keep your relationship under wraps. Leah never enjoyed the attention. Public scrutiny always ruins the good things.

You try to pretend it doesn’t hurt. That this “good thing” is enough to combat the ache in your heart when she avoids you when out with friends. When she spends the night dancing with your teammates than cuddled by your side.

But it’s worth it when she wakes you up with breakfast in bed. When Leah buys your favorite snacks and favorite drinks when you’re feeling a little homesick. When you’ve had a long day and she still takes the time to help you wash your hair, despite being worn to the bone just like you.

It’s worth it until it suddenly... stops.

An injury is horrible, you both know it. Leah tears her ACL and you’re left to pick up the pieces, to cheer her up when there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel. She tries to mask her pain but you know she appreciates all you do for her.

And then you tear yours too.

Leah leaves.

She’s a little over two months clear of her surgery and she leaves.

Your apartment feels bare whenever you return to your empty apartment. You thought you would rehab together, but Leah leaves you by yourself as you both try coping with the loss of your season.

Leah still calls you. It’s few in between but she still tries to make an effort.

You pretend not to notice the far away look in her eyes when she’s on the phone. The look that tells you she’d rather be anywhere than here, rehashing the pain both of you are living.

Leah seems to be doing well, ahead of schedule as she simultaneously travels the world and gets her leg back into shape.

She seems to be moving on as you start falling behind. 

You get your first surgery. 

And then a second one.

And then a third.

While Leah is making bounds and leaps you hit setback after setback.

She starts missing calls. You stop trying to get her to pick them up.

Jen comments on how strange it is to see you around Colney without your best friend attached at the hip. You make up a lame excuse, heart cracking at every word. The way Kim cringes tells you at least someone on the team knows what you’ve been hiding.

Before you know it the season has started up again. The season starts and Leah’s finally back home.

There’s a body sleeping beside you again, but you already know it’s coming to an end.

Leah spends her time out with Lia, singing karaoke with Katie, joking around with Beth. She’s out all day, never coming home until you’re already in bed, back turned to her as you try desperately to remember what it was like when she once loved you.

It’s a random day in the middle of the week. You’re tired, having spent another day at the doctors, eyes all cried out from tears of frustration when you finally returned home. It’s a surprise when you hear the turn of keys not long after. 

You’ve only just made yourself look presentable when she walks into the kitchen, pausing to take in your bloodshot eyes. Leah’s eyebrows furrow as she cautiously reaches a hand towards you. 

When her touch doesn’t bring you the comfort you’ve been aching so long for, you know it’s the end.

“If you’re going to break up with me you should just do it.” 

Leah looks like a deer caught in headlights. She looks alarmed, but you can also see the guilt in her eyes.

You try ignoring the burning in your eyes, sliding the piece of paper over the table to her.

Leah’s eyes track the letter, pausing when it becomes clear what it says.

“Jonas is asking me if I’d like to leave the club. If I want to rehab and start over back in the states.” 

.

Leah’s smile is one of your favorite things about her. The toothiness of her grin as she finds something funny never stops making your heart feel things.

Every smile you get from her feels addicting, an addiction you never get sick of, a habit you never wanted to kick.

But as much as you want to stay, you know Leah has to want you as much as you do to make it work. You want this to be worth something other than a love caught out in limbo, forever hoping Leah will love you the same way, forever fighting back tears when she walks away.

You want Leah to want you to stay.

.

The LA sun feels warm on your back when you finally strap on your boots again.

#leah williamson x reader #leah williamson imagine #woso x reader #woso imagine #uswnt x reader #uswnt imagine #Ace writes

[wosoamazing]

Home

Summary: Part 3 of the McFoord Baby Series.

A/N: here is part 3, sorry it took so long, I don’t know if I necessarily like it but it has been sitting in my drafts done and I haven’t had any ideas to change it so yeah…..

After what felt like years, the car pulled into the driveway of your home, Caitlin looked over to Katie, whose body was tense as she took long deep breaths, trying to reduce the pain she felt in her lower abdomen, Caitlin quickly got out of the car and went around to Katie’s door, opening it before carefully unbuckling her seatbelt. As Katie moved her legs out of the car, a few tears left her eyes, tears that had been threatening to fall since they drove out of the hospital car park, her body fell sideways against the back of the seat, trying to cope with the overwhelming pain. Caitlin put her hand on Katie’s thigh, smiling at her softly.

“How about I get Y/N inside and you stay there, then I can help you inside. Does that sound good?” Katie slightly nodded as she bit her bottom lip, before Caitlin moved to open one of the back doors, carefully taking your capsule out of the car, trying not to jostle you too much in hopes of you staying settled, she swiftly moved inside, unbuckling you from your baby capsule and gently placing you in your bassinet in the living room, before turning on the baby monitor and checking it was paired with her phone. She gave you a kiss on your forehead before quickly rushing back out the door to go get Katie.

“I’m so glad to be home,” Katie said as Caitlin sat down next to her, you were still peacefully asleep in your bassinet.

“I’m glad we’re home too, it's been almost two weeks since I’ve had you home. Is there anything you want or need?”

A tear fell down Katie’s cheek, Caitlin’s face contorted in confusion but also with worry.

“Hey, what's wrong, does it hurt? Does-” the Australian began only to be interrupted

“No, no, you’ve, you’ve just been so good to me, and I, this isn't how I wanted to welcome our baby girl into the world and-” she let out a deep breath “I am just so happy I have you, and now we have a little family,” Katie leant forward and placed a kiss on Caitlin’s lips.

“I love you,” “I love you too,” and with that the pair drifted off to sleep, their first time sleeping as a family at home.

____

They were sitting on the couch together with you curled up on Katie’s chest, who was sleeping, Caitlin’s phone vibrated, Steph had sent a message.

“Hey Babe,” Katie’s eyes slowly opened, “mm”, “I was thinking of inviting Steph in when she brings dinner over tonight. Is that okay with you? She said she had checked and she doesn't have a temperature and not even the slightest sniffle. I think she really wants to see her, but also check that we are doing okay.”

“Sure, it would be nice to see some of the girls again soon. Could we maybe see if Beth and Viv are free to come for a visit tomorrow?”

“Yeah Sure. Around what time?”

“Maybe we organise brunch? So like ni-” The Irish woman was cut off by the door bell, both women looked at each other confused, before the Australian got up ever so hesitant to open the door. She opened the door to a gift hamper, quite a large one in fact, it was from all the Matilda’s, Mini had organised it, next to it was a small gift box.

Caitlin opened the small gift box to find a bunny, its ear embroidered with your name, a small handwritten note from Harper accompanied it, with Mini’s writing at the bottom translating it.

Caitlin held up the bunny to show Katie “It’s from Harper, well Katrina and Clara, but Harper chose it, it's cute don't you think?” Katie nodded with a large warm smile on her face, “and this is from the Matilda’s, but Mini organised it, and this here” she says as she looks at the letter “looks like Kyra added that she chose the blankets.” Katie snorted, before her face contorted in pain, “Shouldn't have done that?”

“Please don't make me laugh again,” “Sorry, but this is so cute, there are baby essentials like a thermometer and stuff, some bottles, and some blankets and clothes, and even some toys, and-”

“I love you,” Katie cut her off, “I love you too babe,” Caitlin leant down to give her a kiss, and just at that moment you began to stir, “I’ll go get her bottle she is due a feed”

____

The doorbell rang just as Caitlin was helping Katie back to the couch. “Sorry I'm just helping Katie,” she rushed out as she opened the door.

“Hey, it's all good, don’t worry.” She followed her inside, and into the kitchen, “I’m just going to check Katie is all good.” “No worries, I’ll dish it all up,” Steph said with a warm smile.

Steph walked out with the plates and handed one each to Katie and Caitlin, they all ate their dinner while chatting.

“Would you like to meet our little one?” Steph nodded eagerly, so Caitlin got up to get you from your nursery. Caitlin placed you on Steph’s chest and you looked up to her, however she did only look like a fuzzy blob. 

“She is so cute you guys, congratulations, I’m glad everything was okay in the end,”

–

“Hey, they’re not going to help you little one,” Steph said to you, as you were looking for milk.

“I think it's feeding time,” Caitlin chuckled.

“Oh,” Steph started to get up to give you to Katie, “You can feed her, if you want, we decided on pumping and bottles as that way it’s easier on Katie but also means there is no transition for when she ever has to be separated from Katie.”

“If that's okay with you,” “Go ahead, Cait can you get the other pumps while you’re at it?” Caitlin left the room, she came back and handed Steph your bottle before she headed up stairs to grab the pumps, Katie specifically asked her for those so she could ask Steph something without Caitlin hearing. 

“Could you possibly stay over tonight? I think she needs it.”

“Yeah sure, how are you feeling about tonight? You know I’m here for both of you right, not just her, you can talk to me about anything don’t forget that.”

“Thanks Steph,”

____

You were held in Beth’s arms, as she sat on the couch, talking to your Mum’s, Viv and Steph.

“How do you feel about the recovery and not being able to play? I mean it's going to be longer than nine months in the end isn't it” Viv asked Katie.

“Honestly, not being able to start returning to playing is okay, I mean it does mean it will be longer than originally planned to start playing but I guess in a way now we can spend time just as a family together, adjusting and stuff. I mean it’s going to be hard especially because I can't do anything for ages but I am looking forward to spending time with Cait and Y/N,” Your Mom said and she smiled up at your Mum who sat behind her.

#woso #woso community #woso fanfics #woso x reader #woso imagine #arsenal wfc #awfc x reader #awfc #katie mccabe x reader #caitlin foord x reader

[once-upon-an-animation]

So over the past few weeks, I’ve been toying with the idea of writing a retelling of the OG series from Annabeth’s perspective.

I’m interested in doing this because though I loved the PJO when I was a child, as I grow older, I find myself craving more nuance from the stories and the characters than what’s already there on the page. I thought hopefully the show would fulfill me, but uhh….amazing character depth is not one of the things I’d call the show’s biggest strong suits, at least not for Annabeth.

Now, I’m aware of the “Daughter of Wisdom” series on AO3, a fanfic series that does the exact same thing. I read that fic years ago and enjoyed it; I thought at the time that the fic was well done. However, I have a lot of ideas for scenes and details that I don’t think really showed up in that fic series, and so I find myself craving to create the POV for Annabeth and certain aspects of CHB that I’ve always wanted to see. I also wanted to spend more time emphasizing emotions and growth for Annabeth in a fic like this, and actually have her challenge and address her pride, sort of like a “I’m overcoming my biggest flaw” journey. I want to write this series from a sympathetic yet honest perspective about Annabeth’s life and her traits…including the traits that are not so pretty.

And so I want input from y’all on what you think would be worth including in a fic like this, and if there’s anything from the OG books that I should change, twist, replace, remove, deepen, or add something new. Here’s a list I already have going:

- emphasis on Annabeth’s relationship with Chiron and how it develops

- more emphasis on Annabeth’s relationship with Grover and how they get along when Percy isn’t there. Do they talk about Percy? And what do they think of each other? Does Grover feel intimidated by Annabeth, or feel like maybe she’s not proud of him because he let her down with the Cyclops incident and Thalia getting killed? Maybe at the end of the quest in TLT, before Percy gets back from Olympus, Annabeth reassures Grover that he’s a great protector and that she doesn’t resent him at all.

- Annabeth’s view of Luke and how/why it becomes complicated; how Annabeth reconciles the objectively bad things Luke has done with her desire for his redemption

- an emphasis on Annabeth and Thalia’s relationship after Thalia returns. How has it changed, Thalia remarking on Annabeth’s growth and teasing her about her crush on Percy, Annabeth helping Thalia cope with the loss of Luke to the “dark side” and also helping Thalia cope with how much the world has changed in 5 years and how Thalia now feels so out of place, Thalia helping Annabeth cope with continuous family struggles

- an emphasis on Annabeth’s relationship with other Athena children. Do they like each other? Hate each other? Are they competitive, all vying for their mom’s attention? Do they share some of Annabeth’s struggles; were their mortal parents also unimpressed about receiving a child they didn’t plan for?

- Annabeth’s relationship with other kids at camp: namely Clarisse, Silena, Beckendorf, and the Stoll Brothers (no, I don’t ship Connabeth, btw). But I also want to flesh out Katie Gardner and Pollux/Castor too.

- a proper resolution to Annabeth’s family drama that yes, recognizes how Frederick had a baby sprung on him that he didnt consent to, and how Mrs. Chase had no idea how to take care of a kid with special needs, but a resolution that also validates Annabeth’s feelings and highlights the ways in which Mr. and Mrs. Chase messed up and failed her with their poor choices.

- a new interpretation of Luke’s “did you love me”question

- An on-page apology from Annabeth to Rachel

- Annabeth’s relationship with her little brothers and how they might still try to love each other in context of their family drama, and not repeat the sins of their parents (breaking generational curses!)

- more emphasis on Annabeth and Athena’s relationship, and how Annabeth evolves from thinking her mother is this image of perfection, to realizing that Athena is just as faulty as the other gods and goddesses, and that Annabeth has a strength over Athena in that Annabeth has a bigger sense of humanity, and can change and adapt when she’s not doing something well. Annabeth can evolve in ways Athena cannot.

Anything else?

#rick riordan #annabeth chase #percy jackson #pjo #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo hoo toa #heroes of olympus #percabeth #thalia grace #luke castellan #grover underwood #the lightning thief #anti annabeth chase #anti percabeth

[singsweetmelodies]

Piarles Winter Fic Exchange 2023/24 - The Final Round-Up

AO3 Collection Link

After three months of build-up and two weeks of spectacular fic reveals, the Piarles Winter Fic Exchange 2023/24 has finally drawn to its close 💙 Today, it is my honour and pleasure to share with you the results of all of our efforts: an astounding 478 616 words written over the course of twenty-eight brand-new Piarles fics. 🎉

We want to start by saying a MASSIVE thank you to all our incredible creators. You are all so wonderful and so so talented - it has been a delight and a privilege to spend the last few months with you. To laugh with you and to create with you and to share the Piarles joy with you. You are all phenomenal, and we feel so lucky that you chose to spend this time with us. ❤️

I also want to take this opportunity to say a personal thank you to my amazing mod team: @boxboxbrioche, @welightitup, @duquesademiel, @wolfiemcwolferson and @river-ocean. Moderating this exchange with you has been a slightly crazy rollercoaster ride, but I couldn't have asked for better people by my side throughout it. Thank you all, for everything!!

Below the cut we have the final round-up of all our 2023/24 Piarles Winter Fic Exchange gift fics. You are in for a real treat - enjoy!!! And don't forget to show the authors some love in the form of kudos, comments, bookmarks and tumblr reblogs 💘

Thank you all so much again.

Love and kisses,

Katie, Briony, Tia, Sol, Logan & River ❤️💙

you and me were raised in the same part of town by @wolfiemcwolferson | rated M | 11.6k words | tumblr post here

A story of two best friends told through the years in the setting of Charles' childhood treehouse.

damage, destruction by @pinkierre | rated T | 6.7k words | tumblr post here

Pierre Gasly doesn’t win the 2016 GP2 title, and thus he stays in the category for another year with Prema. He’s joined for the 2017 F2 season by his long time best friend and fresh GP3 champion Charles Leclerc. What starts as a dream come true, quickly turns into a nightmare. Fast forward 8 years later and they’re teammates again. At Ferrari F1 team. However this time, they hate each other. How will they cope?

Chasing What’s on the Other Side by @espithewarlock | rated E | 15.8k words | tumblr post here

A Mafia AU where Pierre is immediately obsessed with Charles, the newly-introduced romantic partner of his biggest rival, Carlos. He begins dangerously pursuing Charles, they fall into bed together, and his obsession only gets more real the more he learns about Charles’ history. Meanwhile, Pierre is also trying to keep his business running and figure out exactly what his rivals are plotting. There’s something simmering, and he does not like having a target on his back.

model behaviour by @your-littlesecret | rated T | 8k words

Charles isn't sure what he should be doing here - he is not proud to admit he completely zoned out as Camille was explaining - but the gorgeous guy is just standing there and Charles says fuck it and walks to him, extending a hand. "Hi" "Hello. I am Pierre." His smile is almost blinding and Charles feels like he's never seen someone as beautiful in his whole life - which is very fitting, considering he is a model.

change my mind by @chaesonghwas | rated M | 31.8k words | tumblr post here

When Lance drags him to a Drama Club meeting, Pierre doesn't expect to stay for long, but he meets Charles, brother to one of his fraternity's new pledges, and he decide to give it a chance. After all, Charles seems interested in him too - what could go wrong?

Stop the World I Wanna Get Off With You by @crimsonicarus | rated T | 2k words

It was easy with Charles, talking, spending time, being silent. It felt natural, like breathing. Laughing at his awful jokes came from his mouth effortlessly, like another mother tongue.

five january seconds by @fenesacha | rated E | 8.9k words

Charles' phone is on the counter between them, and Pierre reaches out to tap the screen, waking the device up. He spares one second to look at Charles’ new background, a photo of the two of them in their Christmas jumpers, before he glances at the date. There, not changing no matter how many times he blinks: Tuesday, 2 January. What the fuck.

falling Inn love (five years later) by @gaslybottoms | rated T | 17.5k words 

“American style holiday inn,” Lando reads from the description, squinting at the small font on the screen. “Family owned and run for the last three generations, the All Pine Inn is located deep in the heart of the South Downs, with picturesque views over the rolling hills of the local area. A step back from city life, the local village is a peaceful respite away from the busy day to day. See Charles, it seems perfect." OR Charles takes a trip to the country for the Christmas holidays, and rekindles an old almost romance along the way.

All The Pebbles Along The Way by @shankyspork | rated M | 17k words

Centering around friendship and grief, this fic takes the slow road through life and its meaningful moments, hoping to bring you to the conclusion that belonging is something innate.

all I ever wanted by @golden-fairylights | Not Rated | 8.4k words

When Charles received the email that Prince Pierre would attend his vernissage, he didn't know that by the end of the night, he would have found his soulmate.

Anything you can do, I can do better by @whatdidwejustdo | rated T | 2k words

In which Pierre and Charles are insufferably competitive mechanics for rival F1 teams (Red Bull vs Ferrari) and their friends (Carlos, Alex, and Yuki) suffer. Endless snark, friendship, and references to decades of F1 lore. Or:  "Well.” Pierre’s eyes were sharp and blue. "Have you ever re-assembled Max Verstappen's car in twenty minutes when it was supposed to take forty, and watched him put together a hot lap in the dying seconds of Q2 to make it into Q3 and take pole?" 

let's be what we are by @hourcat | rated E | 46.1k words | tumblr post here

Some weekends go better than others, and the only time Charles sees his best friend is at the post-race afterparties that the bigger teams throw. They’ll clink bottles of gross tasting beer and chat with one of the other drivers relegated off to the side this season, and it feels like they’re the karting kids again. Some weekends, though, Pierre is draped along Charles’ back, all but welded together after an early spin-out ended his day, and Pierre will give him what he needs—what they need. (or: pierre, charles, and the consequences of a lifetime of touch.)

Can I just be in my head with you? by @chipsandnuggets | rated T | 7k words

"Pierrot,” he mumbles without thinking, while he separates for a moment from Pierre, but still keeps some closeness. “Can I have you? At least in my head? Can I have you like this, every time I want, in my head?”  5 times Pierre and Charles desire something plus one they finally do something about it.

Le Cheval Cabré by @moonlight0starlighte | rated G | 24.3k words

Charles, a tortured Michelin star chef, returns home for his father’s passing and discovers the family restaurant has been left to him. Though his grief feels stifling at times, Pierre, his oldest friend, is the light that guides him through it all.

Job 37:6 by @mysticalbreadcollective | rated E | 8.3k words 

Maybe he can pass it off as a drunken hookup. A one-time thing. They can both forget it ever happened and move on. Pierre doesn’t need to remember Charles whining and panting beneath him. He can bury it down with the piece of his heart that Charles owns always.

take my hand (put yours over my heart) by @duquesademiel | rated T | 37.7k words | tumblr post here

Pierre Gasly has been declared Public Enemy Number One after breaking Charles’ best friend’s heart. Which, honestly, makes working in their charity work together just a little bit too awkward. A Christmas box, a lot of charity work, football matches and flower crowns might change Pierre’s status in Charles’ books - with a little dash of fake dating, of course.

hearts in the byline by @ilspredestinato | rated M | 25.6k words | tumblr post here

“You know,” Frédéric’s hands are crossed in front of him, fingertips tightening after every pause, “there is only one thing that brings stability to a Kingdom without it being a marriage.” Charles draws in a sharp breath—he knows, nodding almost imperceptibly once Frédéric falls into a hesitant silence. A courtship.

The Defenders by @justahappycloud | rated G | 30k words | tumblr post here

You showed me colours I can't see with anyone else by @radiocheck | rated E | 9.5k words | tumblr post here

Metropolis, a city for all kinds of people: good people, bad people, and people with special abilities. Pierre, alias Blue Arrow, considers himself a special person. With the ability to fly like a bird and bend the toughest of materials at his will, he has decided to use these gifts to protect the city he loves. But what happens when a new threat arises that could destroy everything he'd ever loved? To prevent this, Pierre joins a group of other three heroes and an unlikely ally so that they can maybe, hopefully, save Metropolis from the claws of this new powerful villain.

“I really thought you didn’t like me, you know,” Pierre muses. “You were always so… defensive.” Charles smiles thoughtfully. There are small dimples in his cheeks and his hair falls softly over his forehead as he glances down at the table before replying. “It was never that. I think I was afraid I would like you too much, if I let myself.” In which Pierre falls for his roommate's best friend, Lando is never where he's supposed to be, and Charles is a dream in technicolour.

show me who made you walk all the way here by @yukierres | rated M | 36.5k words | tumblr post here

Pierre is being blackmailed by a former lover into coming out, but risks losing his seat at Ferrari if he does. Charles is a prince who is forbidden from coming out until he has a long-term partner. The solution seems so obvious. Pretending shouldn't be that hard, right? Right?

still waking every morning (but it's not with you) by @river-ocean | rated T | 6.5k words

Charles loves being an actor. It’s what he has always felt was born to do. But he hates that it means that he has to spend so many days of the year away from the people he loves the most. He hates that even though he technically lives with his boyfriend, he is still in a de facto long-distance relationship most of the time.

anything, everything by @leclercenjoyer | rated E | 5.8k words | tumblr post here 

Pierre and Charles go on a ski trip together, and things don't exactly go as planned. (Or do they?)

They Will Never Know by @effervescentdragon | rated M | 35.3k words | tumblr post here

Most stories are about blood. This story is not an exception. Charles disappeared. As for Pierre, well. Pierre had a very big secret.

Point Non Plus by @boxboxbrioche | rated E | 22.7k words | tumblr post here

brought to Point Non Plus idiom, commonly used in the Regency era 1. to be brought to a situation with no other options. 2. to baffle or confuse someone to the point that they have nothing to say. or: with his reputation in ruins and his options limited, Charles receives an offer from Lord Pierre Gasly that he simply cannot refuse.

like a heart made of dynamite by @vicsy | rated E | 31k words

Maybe all these years they were coming towards each other like a car crash in slow motion. Charles just had to wait for the brakes to fail.

and i long for you to appear by @singsweetmelodies / 17.5k | rated T | tumblr post here

When now-famous actor Pierre Gasly gets himself into a bit of PR trouble, it's up to his childhood best friend to step in and save the day. Thankfully, Charles is an expert public relations manager... the only question is if he'll be able to stop his feelings getting in the way when he finally sees Pierre again after all these years.

hold me in this wild, wild world by @fenesacha & @gaslybottoms | rated T | 2k words

Cross-country skiing isn't Pierre's forte. While he managed to stay upright during their earlier outing, it's done little to shake off his aversion to the sport that Charles seems to love so much - or, rather, his aversion to winter as a whole.

#piarles winter fic exchange 2023/24 #piarles winter fic exchange #pwfe 2023/24 #piarles fic #10 x 16 #❤️❤️❤️❤️ thank you SO much for another amazing winter fic exchange!!!! #see you all next year? 👀❤️

[alovesreading]

'tis the damn season | Part 2

Summary: Christmas has been your favourite season since you met Ross MacDonald back in Year 9 when you had just moved to Wilmslow, coincidentally on the same road as him. He becomes your very best friend for the rest of high school, but when that ends, life happens and you just can't stop it. And life is certainly cruel to you and Ross. Every December is a reminder of it, somehow always bringing a chance to ruin things even more. After so many mistakes, how can you get back the times you've always cherished with the silly boy with the dimpled smile?

Word count: 12.7k

Warnings: the tiniest bit of angst.

A/N: Here it is! I hope this one makes up for that first part lolllll. Will warn you that there's a sprinkle of angst at the beginning though... Don't kill me *runs and hides* Anyway, enjoy!!!!!

Masterlist

Part 1

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

“Shit,” you curse under your breath when his words hit you harder than the cold winds of December.

But maybe it’s the realisation that you just know nothing about him anymore that hits you even harder than what he has just said or the cold weather.

Entirely aware of how bad it can look, you pout up at him and add with heavy sorrow for him, “Oh Ross, I’m sorry. I had no idea.”

“S’alright,” Ross says with a shrug like it is nothing.

Your brows furrow, half in worry he’s bottling everything up and half in awe of the way he can cope so well with the situation—you know you could never do it.

After last year’s horrendous holiday break, when you were on your way up to Wilmslow, you had decided on making things right by everyone this year. End 2009 the right way and go into the new year with the joy of grasping onto normalcy back in a place you held dear.

It certainly did help that you have your boyfriend coming back home with you. Not alone anymore, and feeling the deep excitement for him to meet everyone you loved so much in Wilmslow.

That’s why as soon as you had managed to escape your parents and settled everything down in your room, you left your boyfriend to settle down while you ran down the stairs and up the road until you reached Ross’ house.

You certainly hadn’t expected him to turn down your idea of a double date of sorts because he and Katie weren’t together anymore. You thought that when he said he wasn’t sure it could be done, it meant you would have to make a bit more of an effort to get Ross’ friendship back.

You’re deflated by the news, thinking about how sad you are that the gifts you had gotten Katie would not make it to her in the end.

“Who’s he then?” Ross asks with a raise of his brows, bringing you back out from your thoughts.

Your mouth opens as you try to answer, but you stupidly stutter before giving him a vague answer, “Oh, erm, a classmate.”

It isn’t like you’ve come here to dump about your relationship though, and the idea of pouring facts about your boyfriend seems like poor taste after what Ross has just told you. But Ross is kind and you know he’s asking because you obviously were excited for him to meet him if you had come here to suggest going out on a double date.

It is your turn to be kind to him after two years of ruining shit with your stupidity so you let him get out of it by letting him know, “I’ve asked Matty and he said it was fine if I brought him by on Boxing day so I guess you’ll meet him properly then.”

“Right,” he nods first, but when a beat of silence goes by, he adds, “Sure.” His lips are pressed tightly together, the corners of his mouth barely lift up when he tries to fake enthusiasm as he finally adds, “Can’t wait.”

You can’t keep to yourself the shock, or better said, it’s easy for your mum to get what you’ve just found out due to how awful you feel for reminding Ross of his recent breakup, one you had no idea about.

And another thing you’ve got no idea about is that, after you tell your mum how bad you feel about what had just happened, she called Ross’ mum and invited her over for Christmas dinner the following day.

A truly horrible idea that you scold your mum about when she tells you about it the morning of the 25th.

“Mum, what?! How’s it gonna help him to have dinner with us when he’s just broken up with Katie?!”

Of course, your mother is oblivious to what you mean, “He’s gonna have company! All of us together will make him happy!”

Unfortunately, you can’t explain what had happened the past two years, the way you had behaved, and how it seems incredibly unfair to have him have Christmas dinner with you and your boyfriend in the room.

So, to try and fix the mess your mum has unknowingly made, you take it upon yourself to make sure dinner doesn’t end up in a situation like the previous two years.

You keep the pda with your boyfriend to the minimum, make sure to include Ross in every conversation—basically spend most of the time boasting about the guys’ band to your boyfriend—, and keep asking Ross and his parents all about how they’re doing.

Ross is smiling and participating in conversation, which you really appreciate and you relax a bit halfway through dinner when noticing that Ross is doing far better than you had ever done with Katie.

And it’s then that guilt starts creeping back up.

But the thing that you don’t know is that Ross is just good at acting and putting on a smile, because seeing your boyfriend’s hand on your thigh all throughout dinner and the way he takes every opportunity he can to kiss your cheek, is killing him.

Ross gets it then. He gets why it had been so hard for you to keep your feelings to yourself back when you met Katie. Because he can feel that horrendous burn rising up his throat, burning in his chest every glance that he takes at you and sees that the reason for every smile and giggle is the lad beside you.

You have always had a hard time not letting your every thought show on your expression, Ross took the piss about it so often, though he really appreciated it because it meant he always knew what was going through your head.

However, he had the ability to hide everything behind a blank face or a half smile and not be questioned about it.

Exactly like in this very moment when he’s half smiling into his cup of cider as both your parents—as if they hadn’t met him already when they went down to London during summer break—and his parents grill your boyfriend with loads of questions that the poor bloke stutters to answer most of the time.

His fingers clutch the cup tighter every time he hears him call you baby, and he dies a bit more inside when he sees your boyfriend mumble “I love you,” in your ear when you come to his defence after your dad makes a stupid joke about him that has you gasping.

“Love you too,” you reciprocate and give him a quick peck to which everyone coos.

Everyone but Ross.

Ross, who settles you are both even now, who tries washing down the bitter taste of jealousy with more cider until your dad brings out a bottle of whiskey and opens it for everyone to enjoy, and it is then that the bassist starts gulping down the dark alcohol with an ease that your dad jokes about.

What he doesn’t know is that it burns every time Ross takes a gulp back, his throat raw and aching, but the feeling is just strong enough to overcome the horrendous way seeing you this happy and in love makes him feel.

Such an idiot, Ross thinks about himself. He’s an absolute fucking fool.

And then, your mum is calling it’s time for Christmas pictures and when you and your boyfriend go first and the first time your mum presses the shutter is when your boyfriend kisses you under the mistletoe, Ross can’t take it any longer and he excuses himself to walk back home alone.

It isn’t until he has thrown himself on his bed, groaning about how he feels like he’s gonna be sick all over his sheets, that he realises he’s walked out before even getting a picture with you.

Ross falls asleep thinking he needs to make it up to you on Boxing day when you bring your boyfriend over to Matty’s.

“Hope she isn’t too much of a handful,” George jokes when they all fall into easy conversation and banter with your boyfriend.

“She’s a good handful,” your boyfriend jokes, letting his hand fall down to your ass and squeezing it with eager fingers.

You gasp and push him off you while he cackles loudly, the room follows along. A choir of laughter around the place from the lads and their own girlfriends, though the deep rich laughter from Ross is missing.

Your gaze sweeps the room until it falls on him and you give him an apologetic smile. He offers you a tight lip grin and a shake of his head, like he’s trying to say it’s okay.

Nothing really is because with every minute that passes and he sees how well your boyfriend gets along with everyone, Ross dies a little inside. And, in spite of how lovely Boxing day is going, he can’t find himself enjoying the togetherness like he usually does.

An invitation is made for your boyfriend to join you for the gig the band is playing at a pub in Manchester tomorrow night.

Enthusiastically, you both accept and when you go back home, you can’t stop smiling at the prospect of these two sides of your life merging with an ease that makes your heart swell.

You’re early to the gig, since you had convinced your boyfriend to take the chance to go around Manchester before you were due at the pub to see your friends, and you chat with the boys as they set up in a makeshift stage.

At the start of December, their manager Jamie had founded Dirty Hit, a label of his own so he could finally sign the band himself.

You are so unbelievably proud of your boys, tears well up your eyes watching them perform flawlessly on that stage: smiling so hard at Matty’s passion when singing, the funny faces George has always made when playing the drums, the clever riffs Adam managed to play easily and, of course, the suave Ross had when playing that bass.

You, amongst the almost sixty people in that pub, are entranced by them and you sing along the songs you’ve witnessed being written, put together and practised throughout the years.

When they play ‘Robbers’, you can’t help but cry. The memories it brings to you are so overwhelming, your boyfriend ends up hugging you from behind to soothe you as you sing along to the incredible lyrics Matty had somehow come up with at 18, the summer before you went off to university, when everything was alright.

Ross catches a glimpse of you and his heart aches when seeing the tears rolling down your face. The hurt only gets stronger when your boyfriend is the one to wipe them off your cheeks.

He brings his gaze forward again but when he’s unable to clear his thoughts by focusing on a stranger’s face, he lets his head hang and his eyes fall on his fingers playing the strings of his bass.

The same one he had shown off to you the first time you had gone to his house on Boxing day and you stayed there, perched on his bed as you watched him show off his skills on the instrument.

Ross isn’t sure then how much longer he can cope with this, seeing you smitten with somebody else, craving their touch and not his, needing their company and not his.

He’s so relieved when you go back home with your boyfriend after the gig, swiftly getting yourself out of a night of drinks with the guys since you have plans for the next morning that you can’t get out of.

The hangover Ross nurses the following day is entirely worth it for he managed to drown his sorrows with alcohol without being questioned about it, he hid it behind being overly enthusiastic about a new year with a now signed band, the one thing they had been dreaming since they properly formed the band in 2002.

But it doesn’t matter that he had managed to conceal his real feelings and intentions behind drinking that night, for when New Year’s Eve comes around, he’s entirely transparent as he knocks back glass after glass from the moment you arrive at Matty's.

Unlike a year ago, it is time for Ross to get plastered since he’s totally incapable of coping with you being all over your boyfriend now that alcohol is in your system and, since you’ve seen Ross’ reactions for the past few days and you have assumed the bassist is entirely fine with everything, you don’t have to hold back anymore.

For a miraculous change, George is the one to take care of Ross when midnight approaches and he just can’t stay in the room to watch what he knows will happen the second the countdown reaches one.

Ross’ body reacts on its own when he hears the room he’s left erupt in a chorus of “Happy New Year!” and he rushes to the nearest bathroom to be sick when the ruckus of greetings change for one of whistles and teasing, a confirmation that you’re definitely kissing your boyfriend like you had kissed Ross all those years ago.

Hiding away in the bathroom, Ross spends the rest of the night there, sitting against the door and ignoring every knock and attempt of opening it.

He wakes up passed out on the bathroom floor the next morning, wishing he had drunk even more to forget why he had been drinking to begin with. But not even drinking more would’ve helped with him avoiding seeing you and your boyfriend cuddling on one of the settees when he walks out to leave the Healy's house.

When you come knocking on his door later that day, he groggily answers the door. Your goodbye hits him like a gut punch but, despite being sad about seeing you go, he can’t help being a little relieved his chest doesn’t have to ache to the sight of you in love anymore.

At least not until next Christmas.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Around May of 2010 you graduated university.

That nightmare was finally over and the only good thing that had come out of it other than your degree, and the fact that you managed to land a job before graduating, was that you weren’t alone anymore.

Your mum and dad went down to London for the ceremony and it brought tears to your eyes to see them in the crowd as you walked onto the stage to get your diploma. Loads of pictures had been taken and though you felt elated, overflowing with joy, it wasn’t until you finally had time to check your phone and see the messages your friends from back home had sent you that you felt complete.

Adam’s message had made you coo and tear up, whilst George and Matty’s messages made you laugh like an idiot. Ross’ message had made you smile nostalgically, a tear slipping down your cheek when you had read it again.

Cannot believe you’re graduating today, sweetheart. So incredibly proud of you :)) You were always the smartest one of us after all. Hope you’re having the best time celebrating yourself today, you’re fucking brilliant Y/N/N. Love you lots, see you soon I hope xx

Truth was, your parents had invited him along but he had declined, excusing it on work and something band related that your mum and dad didn’t ask too much about. Still, they were sad they couldn’t surprise you with Ross’ presence on such a big day.

Ross had really regretted his decision when you posted a bunch of pictures of your graduation day to your Facebook page. Though, the ones where your boyfriend was right next to you reminded him just why he had said no.

He was a coward, he wouldn’t deny it if he were to be called out for it but he was doing it for the best of the situation, for the best of your friendship—or at least to the bits of it that still lingered to which he was holding onto tightly.

Because somehow, despite how the last Christmas time had turned out for himself, Ross found himself holding onto the hope that everything would be alright this year when you came back home for the holidays. And there was a little annoying voice inside his head that laughed at himself for it, but he was holding onto you desperately, like water in his hands, hoping you wouldn’t slip fully through his fingers.

So he had held on and on, day after day, onto that hope until December was around the corner and when a text of yours came through to the group chat you had with the guys, that hope plummeted down and shattered on the floor.

Guys I’ll be spending the holidays in London so please don’t worry about a present for me this year. I promise I will make this up to you very soon!! Miss yous so much and love yous even more!! xx

The first feeling that shows is sadness. Ross frowns, reading your message over and over, his heart sinking and settling on the pits of his stomach as despair overcomes him. He really had spoiled the only chance he would get this year of seeing you, just because he hadn’t really wanted to see you with your boyfriend again.

But now, all he can think is that he’s willing to endure that horrendous jealousy and anguish just to see you again. And he’s especially desperate because it's Christmas! It’s your time of the year, your and Ross’ time, or at least that’s what it had always been until 2007.

Ross wants to pull his hair out of his head then, not only dreading having to spend this season without even seeing you from afar, but just from being reminded of how this will be the fourth year in a row where something has happened and shaken the dynamic you had shared and cherished since 2002.

And then, nosy Matty asks why you’re staying in London because it’s certainly very rude of you to abandon your best friends in the entire world to spend the holidays in the south—that’s exactly what the curly headed boy sends on the group chat.

Which prompts you to answer with a string of laughing emojis and then the truth: you’re spending the holidays with your boyfriend’s family this year.

Reading that message is what turns Ross’ sadness into anger in a split second.

Because you’re breaking the promise you had made before you left for uni, the promise you had swore to never break when Sara, Danielle, and Jodie eventually did.

Hope is gone. A tiny lit flame that has just been blown out and there’s nothing left of it but the string of smoke rising up into the air.

Ross knows this is it then, the end of it all.

He could’ve never predicted it would take eight years to lose you entirely, and he sort of wishes he could warn his past self so he could shield himself from anything he could develop for you when you first met.

He chucks his phone somewhere on his bed, fully ignoring any other messages coming into the group chat afterwards.

Nothing mattered anymore.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

It certainly is a shock to see you walking out of the house when Ross is walking back to his from the shops.

Matty had sent him out to buy decorations for the New Year’s Eve party because, suddenly, he decides the party needs to be a proper one with decorations and props and cone hats and silly 2012 shaped glasses that definitely don’t look feasible to look through.

So he’s toying with the frame of one of the glasses, thinking about how quickly 2011 has gone by, when he sees you walking out of your house with a skip in your step.

Since there was no message on the group chat, he didn’t really know if you were coming back home or not.

Not that he cared.

At least, that’s what Ross had been telling himself.

But it’s clear he indeed cared because when your eyes fall on him and a gorgeous smile breaks on your face, there’s a hint of relief that floods his system.

“Ross! Hey!” You are wary of the distance that’s there between you, not only physically because he’s still yet to cross the road towards you but also emotionally because you two haven’t spoken at all in the entirety of the year.

Well, you had if the short birthday messages you sent the other counted.

“Hi, Y/N. Y’alright?” he finally asks when he crosses the road and stands just a few metres away from you.

You nod, “Amazing. You?”

“Pretty good.”

You hum because he doesn’t sound so sure about it. Your eyes fall on the bag in his hand, catching the look of the New Year’s themed goods.

“Those look nice. Matty’s decorating this year?”

Ross chuckles softly, “Yes, apparently the party needs to be proper from now on.”

You snort at that and roll your eyes at the image of Matty saying that in your head. He was so annoying, you truly adored him. “Ha, right. Well, I’ll see you then!”

Wow what a good lengthy chat, Ross thought sarcastically. Still, he didn’t let how that made him feel show. With a soft smile, he nods and says, “See ya’,” before resuming his walk and making it back home.

He makes a great effort not to look down the road to see where you’re heading. That quick, awkward chat is enough to know where you stand and in what state your friendship is. Gone.

Ross comes to terms with the fact that it just will never be the same. It’s all gone: you, the holidays you’ve grown to love, all the traditions that only entailed the two of you.

It hurts his chest and he wonders if it hurts yours as well.

He doesn’t even see you the day after, on the 25th. There’s nothing delivered to his house—your mum had done it the year before, but the lack of it this year meant the official loss of that tradition—and since your boyfriend and his family are over at yours, or so Ross’ mum told him, the MacDonalds leave your family to it and don’t interrupt by sending anything over to your house.

The next time Ross sees you is at Matty’s on Boxing day, which goes as smoothly as it can. It’s only refreshing to have the rest of the boys there along with their girlfriends, and little Louis Healy is a funny distraction from the turmoil that clouds Ross’ brain when in the same room as you and your boyfriend.

When New Year’s Eve comes, alcohol makes for that miraculous distraction instead, but this time he’s more careful about it. Not blacking out but, instead, numbing himself with every drink until the countdown happens and seeing you and your boyfriend sharing a passionate kiss doesn’t make him want to run into oncoming traffic.

You leave on the 3rd of January this time, giving your boyfriend’s family and your own time to enjoy the start of the year together.

This time, when Ross answers the front door after hearing incessant knocking and he sees you standing there with a soft smile and a goodbye on the tip of your tongue, saying goodbye back feels more significant.

As he says goodbye, still half hiding behind the door, it feels like he’s bidding farewell to your friendship and all you two ever were.

What you never had been.

Ross wonders then if things would’ve been different if he had done something about the two of you when he kissed you under the mistletoe in 2006, how you two could be in such a different place if he had made a move after kissing you when the clock struck midnight at the very start of 2007.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

The first week of August 2012, the first official music project by the band came out. It was a bit odd knowing the boys had an official name now, but The 1975 sounded fucking brilliant—you had assured Matty of it when he sent you a picture of it freshly tattooed below his Mortal Kombat tattoo saying that he had gotten the new name tattooed so he wasn’t allowed to change his mind anymore.

You had gone to the closest HMV to your office and bought the CD, sending a picture of it to the guys on your group chat and gushing over how fucking good it was after you had listened to it four times in one sitting.

And you had gone just as crazy when November rolled around and on the 19th the Sex EP came out. A quick message was sent in the middle of your short lunch break, you’d written it with the biggest smile on your face.

Holy shit guys, that was incredible!!!! I’m so unbelievably proud of yous :’’)) Who would’ve thought you’d go from changing your band name every other month to having two stunning EPs out!!! I need yous to sign my new CD!! Cannot wait to see you brilliant, talented lot on Christmas. Love youuuuu!!! xxxxx

It was odd that after all that time, Ross could still hear your voice in his head saying all that while he read it. Like he just can’t truly let go of you, and a flicker of hope that still lives inside him then becomes obvious, he can’t help but think, maybe, just maybe, you won’t miss Christmas at home this year like he’s been expecting you to all year long.

It felt almost like he had been holding his breath since that notion became apparent in his mind, the anticipation of not really knowing if his hopes were gonna lead him to be disappointed or if he would actually be right.

Ross lets out a sigh of relief when he walks out of his house and he catches a glimpse of you walking in through the front door of your parent’s house with a bag in hand.

He’s not aware of what he’s doing until his quick strides lead him all the way up to your front door and he’s harshly knocking on it.

You’ve barely been able to shout hello to your mum, who’s upstairs, and let your dad take your bag up to your room when you’re startled by the knocking.

Turning around on your heels, it’s merely two steps you take until you can grab the handle and turn it to open the door and show a speechless and surprisingly enthused Ross bundled up in a cosy flannel coat and a beanie, the tip of his nose tinting pink from the cold, and his cheeks matching the shade.

Your eyes widen at the sight of him. You have no idea why he’s just standing here, how on Earth he had managed to know exactly when you would arrive or if he had been expecting you, but you can’t stop the need to feel him closer than this the second you see him.

Basically throwing yourself into him, you gasp and wrap your arms around his waist, his arms coming to envelop you in a hug over your shoulders and you melt into him completely.

“Oh my god. I missed you so much,” you whisper into his ear.

His heart squeezes in his chest, leaving him weak enough to admit, “Me too. So much.”

He knows it’s not time for inquiries but he’s honestly taken aback by the fact that you’re here so his questions leave him without him wanting them to, “Are you okay? How’s London treating you? How’s your boyfriend, is he spending it here again?”

Those are heavy questions, lots to explain that just leave you without a word to utter. Except for the last question. That situation’s status was clear enough that you pull back and take a deep breath to be able to answer through the pain of thinking about it, “No. Ermm, we broke up.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t–,” Ross starts apologising but when he sees your chin start to wobble and tears filling your eyes, he pulls you back into him as he says, “Don’t cry, C’mere.”

“It’s all my fault,” you can’t help but admit. Not really about the breakup, that was certainly not your fault if you looked at the bigger picture, but the horrendous pain that fills you when you think about how your attempts to fill the emptiness from being away from home had crumbled down and left you feeling even lonelier than ever. You shake with a sob in Ross’ arms and admit, finally, “I hid so much from you guys.”

The confusion in his breathy, “What?” is clear and you know this is the right moment to just come clean about everything, before this opportunity leaves you like a train does a station.

“Do you…” you sniffle as you pull back to look at him.

God, you must look like a mess and a right idiot. Ross thinks that despite how his heart is breaking seeing you this upset, he’s never seen a person more beautiful.

“Do you wanna come in?” you suggest, thumb pointing behind you into a house he hasn’t stepped foot inside since Christmas day 2009, 3 years ago. “I feel like I owe you a lot of truths.”

Carefully, he nods and that’s when you put your hand out for him to hold and walk into the house.

Electricity runs to his fingertips where he holds you, painfully aware of how your absence has made your proximity now erupt a wave of feelings inside him that he had thought were gone.

Once he’s inside the house, you close the door. He expects you to guide him to the living room but, to his surprise, you take him up the stairs and into your room.

Even your dad is surprised to see Ross in the house after all this time for he stops in his tracks when he sees the now very tall lad walking hand in hand with you on the way to your room, which he’s leaving after leaving your bag neatly on top of your bed.

“Oh hello, Ross. Missed seeing you around here, kid.”

Ross smiles but before he can respond to your dad’s greeting, you speak out, “Thanks for helping me with the bag dad. I’m gonna chat with Ross for a bit if you don’t mind.”

Your dad notices the tears in your eyes then, with the slight waver of your voice so he knows this is a serious matter and he nods, giving you both a smile before walking past you into his room where your mum’s still hiding. She must be really entertained with what she’s doing since she hasn’t run to your room to crush you in a hug like she always does, but you won’t complain right now because it seems like everything is about to spill out of your mouth.

Closing your room’s door behind you, Ross makes his way into your room when you drop his hand. He sits at the edge of your bed and you do the same, looking into his eyes for a second before letting your gaze drop to your lap, where you fiddle with your fingers nervously.

A sigh leaves you.

This is it then.

Looking back up at him, you take in his worried expression and start telling him everything. How you knew university would be hard from the very second you moved into your dorm. How you had been so horribly homesick, you got depressed and had to talk to a therapist on campus for quite a while. The amount of times you had thought of dropping out throughout the first year, but had refused to come back home empty handed and regretting giving up when you have always been academically driven.

And how, despite your efforts, the second year had been just as bad.

You couldn’t make friends but not by lack of trying, it was harsher in uni to find people you felt in tune with when everyone was so focused on themselves and the groups established there were far more stronger than in high school; so many people knew each other from school already, it felt like trying to be friends with them was causing a disturbance to their friendships.

And then you came back to London from Wilmslow, that time Ross had told you to go back and you had left right after the gift exchange at Matty’s, and you met this guy. He gave you just the amount of attention and kindness to lure you in and grow attached to him after craving proper human connection for so long.

He had become your boyfriend easily, because he gave you attention and made you feel needed, despite both of those notions having meant in a sexual way more times than not.

It wasn’t the best relationship and you knew that, but you would take anything, even if faulty, just to not feel alone like you had the two previous years again.

So you made due with what you had and fell in love with him, though you knew he didn’t feel the same as you did, and if he ever did say it was just because he wanted to keep you. For convenience really, because if he said he wanted you, you would drop anything for him, even if you didn’t want to say yes, you did because you feared being left alone.

And then he realised he could make you stay by reminding you how badly you had been going through it before he appeared into your life, and now you could point out how emotionally manipulative he had been, but right then, it had gone right past your head.

That was why it had been so easy for him to cheat before you two graduated, and it had been even easier for him to get you to forgive him. He would say you wouldn’t survive without him, without his love, without his presence in your life; he reminded you just how far away everyone was, how you had lied and kept things to yourself so no one worried and how selfish of you it would be to call and talk about yourself and your issues which you could resolve easily, just by forgiving him and taking him back.

So like a brainless fool, you did.

And then you graduated and you moved in with him, and though you had a job of your own, he convinced you to do everything for him. His kisses, the sex, the cuddles, him making time for you, it all was your reward. Showing you affection had become a reward for you keeping the flat clean, cooking meals and paying half the rent, it had become something to exchange for your efforts rather than something that came with a loving relationship.

You knew he had cheated at least twice after that first time but kept quiet. You knew, but the only thing you could do was ask him to wear a condom every time you fucked, just because that was the last bit of love and concern you had for yourself.

That was until a few weeks before your birthday, when you got off work early because you were feeling a bit poorly and the feverish, dizzy feeling that overcame you was enough for your boss to send you home immediately.

It had been nothing compared to the feeling that washed over you when you quietly came into the flat and walked blindly down the hall to your bedroom, only to find your boyfriend balls deep in some girl.

Your horrified gasp and confused mumbling wasn’t enough for him to stop, instead he kicked you out of the room and you left running back to the living room where you stood almost dry heaving as you replayed the moment over and over again, wanting to be sick but not being brave enough to walk up to the bathroom with how close to the bedroom it was.

Still, he took a fair few minutes to come out of the bedroom and face you. From what you heard, you knew he hadn’t even taken the consideration to stop and had chosen to finish before he could even begin to explain what was going on.

Not that it needed explaining, really.

But it was the absolute lack of remorse in his face when he came out to the living room that brought you out of the hypnosis he had caught you in for so long. The fact that he hissed through his teeth why the fuck you had come home so early. The fact that he sounded more apologetic to the girl than to you, his girlfriend of three and a half years.

And it was the realisation that you would rather feel this hurt because of breaking up with him than because he was trying to convince you that it had been nothing and you could forgive him yet again.

So you did. You broke up with him that very second. Going to the bedroom, which made you feel even more disgustingly nauseous, you quickly packed everything you had there in a big suitcase you had thankfully kept. All that you had in there as best as you could and the rest shoved in a big bag of yours that didn’t fit inside the case.

You had felt more alone than ever, without your boyfriend—ex-boyfriend now—, without any friends because all of your friends had been his first and you knew he would manipulate them enough to make them switch on you the second they found out, without a roof to live under.

But you felt free, oddly, and it was that which drove you to call up one of your co-workers and ask for their help.

Emma was the sweetest and let you stay in her flat for the week and a half it took you to find a place you could rent. You hadn’t been exactly choosy with it, just going off necessity and settling for the better most convenient option, both for your pocket and the proximity to your job.

So you were now living in some shitty flat in a very unsafe area in London, but it was close to the tube station and it was only a thirty minute commute to your office, which you were growing to appreciate.

It was the fact that for the first time in a while you felt like your own person that made you smile on the daily.

And now the fact that you had finally come clean about everything to one of the most important people in your life.

Ross is speechless. He’s lost his breath with every bit that you’ve told him, and yet the way that you fully leave him stupefied and unable to breathe is the smile that you give him when you’re done with your story.

That toothy grin he has missed so much, accompanied with your tear stained cheeks and glassy eyes.

His heart is utterly broken for you, someone so beautiful inside and out being absolutely destroyed and mishandled by people who never appreciated you for who you truly are, stuck in a situation that you kept shut because you’re selfless like that.

Ross feels like his heart had been shattered in a million pieces, but he feels a new wave of heartache when he remembers how cruel and unfair he had been to you when, unbeknownst to him and everyone else, you were going through such a nightmare.

He wants to bang his head against a wall.

But not more than he wants to crush you in a hug and tell you it’ll be alright now.

So he does.

His arms feel heavenly around you, melting into his chest and hiding in his neck comes to you like second nature just how it had always been back then, before everything happened.

You can’t help but cry, and though some of your tears come from the ache in your chest, most of them are spilled because you feel relieved that you can shed yourself of the weight of everything that you’ve been keeping to yourself, relieved that you can mend things back home and you can try and get back those friendships you have always cherished.

Ross doesn’t let you go, not when you calm yourself down and stop crying, not when you yawn and rub your tired eyes, not when it starts getting dark out.

He’s hesitant to let you go when you go to move your bag out of your bed so you can lay down. But he follows when you pat the spot next to yours on the mattress.

His arms wrap around you and he pulls you closer to him. You two haven’t done this in so long, it’s hard to even point out when was the last time you cuddled, but your legs tangle with an ease that makes your heartbeats stutter.

With eyes fluttering as you two succumb to slumber, the last thing you remember before falling asleep is the feeling of Ross’ lips pressing on top of your head.

“I had missed this,” you admit groggily when you wake up to his fingers rubbing circles on your lower back.

The darkness of your room envelopes you like a blanket, pale moonlight sneaking through your blinds to give you the faintest bit of sight.

You can barely make out the dimples on his cheeks as he smiles down at you with a puffy face and sleepy eyes, “I missed you.”

Whole. That’s how you feel when he says that with a warm conviction that melts your insides. You hum, “Yeah. Me too.”

A knock on your door makes the two of you look in the direction of it, and slowly peeling it open, your mum peeks her head through to smile at you.

“Haven’t seen you like that in ages,” she recalls with a coo. “You two are so grown up now.”

You smile just by remembering the pictures your mum would take of the two of you cuddling on the settee after falling asleep watching a film. The nostalgia makes you wish she would take a picture right now just so you could compare it to them.

“Sorry to interrupt darlings, you two look cosy, but could you do me a favour?”

That’s how you end up at the shops with Ross, giggling as you walk through the aisles trying to find the things your mum had forgotten to get on her last shopping trip for tomorrow’s dinner.

It’s hard not to get distracted when you walk around, seeing all the Christmas sweets and treats, even harder when Ross makes you laugh as you go about the place and you keep forgetting what it is that you’re looking for.

“Hey, you better not forget these,” he jokes, grabbing a bag of potatoes that he ends up placing in your basket.

It’s hard hugging Ross goodbye after you come back from the shops and put everything away together, but it makes you so incredibly happy to know that it feels normal again—your arms around each other feel like finding your way back home after getting lost on the way.

You go to bed feeling content, the smell of him lingers on your pillows and you nuzzle your face on them with a loopy smile on your face.

It is when you wake up and go downstairs for breakfast that you properly feel giddy, though, because your mum tells you she called Ross’ mum and they had agreed to have Christmas dinner together.

A loud kiss is smacked on your mum’s cheek at the news and she smirks as she looks at your dad when you run to the kitchen to see if you had all the ingredients to make some type of dessert, leaving your coffee to get cold on the dining table.

Having the MacDonalds over is a joy, as per usual, with Ross’ mum being the loveliest person ever and Ross’ dad making you all laugh hysterically, dinner goes wonderfully.

Everything’s tasty, warm in your bellies and your hearts with the hours you all spend together. Nothing feels more right than this very moment.

And then your mum springs up her chair and calls, “Time for pictures!”

Just like you’ve known to do since the very first time, you and Ross move to the bottom of the stairs right beneath where your mum always hangs the mistletoe. The sight makes Ross smile brightly, his eyes crinkling at the edges and dimples pinching his cheeks beautifully.

Your mum frowns at her film count on display as she takes the camera close to her face, “I’ve got one in here, so I’ll take the first and then go get another pack of film to take the rest.”

You bite your tongue not to smile too brightly when it reminds you of a certain moment, years ago.

As your mum takes the camera up to her eyes, Ross wraps an arm tightly around your waist, fingers digging on your clothed flesh as he presses you flush to his side. You wrap an arm around his waist and just as you’re about to rest your head on his shoulder to pose for the camera, your heart begs you to do something else.

You turn to look at him and pucker your lips to press them on his cheek. Your mum captures just the moment bliss breaks out on his face, melting his smile into a parted mouth as he exhales a sigh in content at the feeling of your lips on his skin.

The second the whirring of the polaroid printing out sounds, you pull back and he peels his eyes open to look at you with adoration, or so you think from the way his brown eyes gleam as he looks into yours.

You have to separate when your mum walks in between you to run upstairs to get some more film, all the while she’s shaking the just printed picture in her hand.

Suddenly, Ross blinks and he’s back in 2006, when your mum was making a mess upstairs as she looked for a new pack of film and he finally got the courage to cup your face and actually kiss you under the mistletoe like he had been wanting for so long.

It’s a memory that flashes on both your minds in that moment, and it’s written all over your faces.

Your mouth parts in anticipation and he carefully brings up his hands to your face, holding it delicately as he starts leaning in.

It’s stupid, and maybe way too fast on his part but he can’t have you looking all beautiful standing in front of him and under the mistletoe and not kiss you. You’re magnetising and he can’t fight the power you have over him, he’s so entranced he just wants you close.

This time it is different, it feels more intense. Not desperate, because the second your lips meet in the middle, it’s not like you lose control and try to quicken the kiss. It just feels way more intent, it’s deliberate and with so much more meaning now. You have each other back and the pieces of the puzzle fall into place perfectly just like the slotting of your lips together.

You’re the one to deepen the kiss as your tongue pokes out to tease his bottom lip and you lick into his mouth when he parts it to welcome you.

A hum reverberates through his chest when you taste each other, and he swallows a soft moan that you let out at the feeling of his beard brushing against the soft skin of your face as you two move rhythmically in a kiss that leaves you dazed.

When Ross pulls back, your breaths mix as you pant out, lips so close together, noses brushing. He drops one last peck on your lips before saying, “Had to do it properly.”

Your mum’s footsteps echo through the hall as she dashes back downstairs with a new film pack in her camera, ready to snap away.

In the pictures you can clearly see your swollen wet lips, but no one comments on it when your mum lets you two see the results of the quick photoshoot she’s just thrown for the two of you. Heat rushes up to your face, just like Ross'. You almost wanna coo and pinch his cheeks at the sight of him flustered like that.

It’s fair to say you’re both incredibly smiley when you go back to the dining room to share hot chocolate and the cookies you had made earlier. You half regret not making the same ones you had made the year you had met Ross, but it’s all fine when Ross says, “Delicious as always, sweetheart.”

You wanna pounce on his lips when he finally goes back to calling you that again.

There’s no way you can stop your lips from falling into a pout when it’s time for Ross and his parents to go. You almost want to convince them to stay a bit longer but you already had and they’d stayed an additional hour than they’d planned.

Ross’ mum and dad hug you tightly, wishing you a merry Christmas and saying that they hope you like your present, as if you haven’t loved every single one they’ve ever given you throughout the years.

When it’s time for Ross to hug you, he makes it a show of almost crushing your bones as he does so. Swaying in your place, your parents laugh behind you as the two of you cling onto each other like you haven’t done in years.

Neither set of parents have it in them to tease or complain because they’ve missed witnessing it.

But perhaps, the biggest shock of all is that when Ross pulls back after wishing you a merry Christmas, he presses his lips on yours on a sweet chaste kiss that makes the four adults around you loudly gasp and, therefore, make you and Ross become flustered like a pair of kids caught holding hands in the playground.

And just like a kid, Ross peels himself away from you and quickly escapes back home with his parents following behind him, leaving you foolishly stunned and wide eyed.

When the front door finally closes, it is your mum saying, “Finally!” that makes you snap out of your trance.

The loopy smile stays on your face as you open presents, though.

Blindly, you pick up your phone when it rings on your bedside table the next morning. You don’t even read who it is as you answer it so your shock makes you open your eyes wide when you hear Ross’ voice on the other side of the line.

He says he’s been texting you to ask if you wanted to hang out, and truthfully you just wanna sleep in a little longer, but you also wanna have his presence.

Who says you couldn’t have both?

You let him know he can come over, whispering as you tell him to ring you when he’s outside because your house is quiet as your parents still sleep.

He surprises you when he says he’s already at your door.

With your eyes still heavy with sleep, you make it downstairs, still in your pyjamas, and when you open the door, you grab his hand to drag him upstairs and into your room.

There’s not even a chance for him to greet you with a hello when you get back in bed and lift the sheets on the empty side for him to get under them and join you.

Ross doesn’t take more than a few seconds to take off his shoes and shed himself off his coat, getting in your bed and wrapping an arm around your waist to pull you into him and let you cuddle yourself into him.

You basically sleep until your stomach growls as you become hungrier the more you’ve been ignoring it most of the morning, pushing aside your basic human needs to stay a little longer in Ross’ arms.

He brings you the cookies that were left from yesterday in a little plate and a glass of water, at your request, whilst you go to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

When you come back into your room, you shove one cookie into your mouth before starting your gift show and tell.

A warmth spreads through the both of you as you show him the most mundane and unimpressive gifts you’ve gotten, except for the pretty little necklace his parents got you of course, but it makes you laugh how since the last time you had done this, your presents went from an iPod mini, books and pretty dresses, to a pair of fuzzy socks and a set of floral pattern baking utensils.

You finish getting ready after you show him your presents, and he watches your every move attentively from your bed, which he has made very quickly before throwing himself over it again.

He grabs a pillow and places it over his eyes when you go to lift up your pyjama shirt, it’s not like you haven’t changed in front of the other before, but it’s been so long that he feels the need to offer you privacy.

He hears you snort at him as you sort through your wardrobe for a shirt, a jumper and a pair of jeans. And he smiles into the pillow when you mumble, “Silly,” as you finish buttoning your jeans.

“You can look now,” you say as you finish putting your shirt on.

And Ross catches a glimpse of the skin of your stomach when he lowers the pillow back onto the mattress.

He shifts from his side to his front to hide the way you affect him. He would’ve put the pillow on his lap but it would’ve been too obvious. He hopes he has a second to adjust himself without you looking when you’re about to leave.

You offer him the biggest of smiles before turning to look at yourself in the mirror and fixing your hair, putting a bit of makeup on your face to look decent for when you go to exchange gifts with your friends at Matty’s house.

Ross is entirely entranced watching you through the mirror, he can’t stop thinking about how he’s always thought you were pretty. But somehow, with time, you’ve only grown more and more beautiful.

As if that was even possible.

You’re just unreal, truly. He can’t understand the mystery of you. And he doesn’t really need to, all he wishes to do is to witness it.

When you go downstairs, Ross follows behind a bit slower since he stayed hidden behind your door adjusting himself for a few seconds while you went ahead, you shout to your parents that you’ll be going to Ross’ and then Matty’s so you’d probably come back home after tea.

They say, “Alright, have fun!” back and you’re off.

But not before Ross catches your wrist before you can walk away from the bottom of the stairs.

You stumble into his chest and he swiftly cups your jaw, tilting your head in the perfect angle for him to lean in and catch your lips in a soft kiss that steals your breath away. It’s slow and delicate, like he’s taking in the way your lips slot perfectly together, trying to memorise how your mouths move with each other.

You’re speechless when he pulls back, a smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth before he points upwards, “Mistletoe.”

A scoff slips past your lips. “Didn’t know you were such a rule follower,” you tease. He’s so smooth it makes you want to scream.

He shrugs, “Depends on the rule.”

Despite the fact that you assure Ross’ mum that you’ve had breakfast—Ross snitches on you saying it was just cookies and a glass of water—, you’re fed a healthy amount of leftovers for breakfast the second you walk into the MacDonald’s home.

Only thirty minutes later, you’re upstairs in Ross’ room with a mug of hot chocolate as he shows off the gifts he got this year. Which, again, makes you laugh because it’s yet again more proof about the fact that you’re too old now and all you get is adult gifts.

You can’t help but snort when he shows off the beanie and scarf your parents got him, but ultimately admit he looks adorable all bundled up in the matching cotton set.

He wears the beanie proudly when you both walk up to Matty’s, while you have the scarf wrapped around your neck after you quickly snatched it from his room before leaving his house.

When you get to the Healy residence, it’s enough of a shock to see the two of you arriving at the same time. George is the one to ask with a frown if you had walked up there together and you nod with smiles on your faces.

Matty elbows Adam when he notices your accessories match.

The curly headed boy really tries his best to hide his curiosity but he can only last fifteen minutes into the catch up you’ve all fallen into before he asks, “Where’s your boyfriend?”

It’s a shock when you nonchalantly answer, “Oh, we broke up.”

And even more of a shock when you beam after the words leave your mouth.

Ross smiles just as big, proud of you for being so strong about that situation. No one really knows about it and it shows. Yes, you had been confiding in Matty about your struggles feeling extremely lonely in uni but you had never told him the reality about your boyfriend, knowing damn well how it looked that you got into that relationship because you were so desperate to feel something.

You had so much to tell everyone, but this wasn’t the time. Not yet.

The change in the dynamic between you and Ross is obvious, especially after consecutive years of clear, growing distance in between the two of you. But no one comments on it because they don’t want to disturb the return of a friendship that had been, from the very beginning, the core of the unity of your friend group. Even if the girls aren’t here celebrating with all of you anymore, Ross and you had been the ones to bring all of you together once upon a time, and it’s certainly refreshing for the boys to see that restored.

So when the New Year’s Eve party comes around, the group is a little more rowdy and you and Ross don’t stray far from each other’s side.

It might be because it feels like you’re all back in 2006 when you were still in high school and nothing had changed just yet, that Matty and George cause more and more ruckus. It’s certainly entertaining to watch but when George is stopped by a drunk Hann from doing a frontflip from the top of the stairs, and possibly breaking his bones, Ross pulls you outside for some peace and quiet as it’s really close to midnight.

The cold air makes you shiver and sobers you up a little, but god bless Ross MacDonald for offering you a cigarette then.

You place it between your lips and let him light it up, he struggles a bit with the strong wind but you help him by cupping your hands around the end of the stick.

Taking a long drag, you let the smoke in your lungs start to relax you and bring you the warmth you so desperately want right now.

The mess going on inside is still loud despite Ross closing the door, and suddenly, the memory of that 2006 New Year’s Eve night comes flashing back to the forefront of your mind.

“This is giving me some serious déjà vu,” you say as you hold in the smoke for a few seconds before letting it out upwards.

He knows exactly what you mean, he’s been thinking about it from the second you stepped foot in the house, but he still plays dumb, “Hmmm, really?”

You nod, taking a drag before saying, “Yeah. If I remember correctly, it was 2006 and we had come out to escape a very drunk Matty and George thrashing everything inside so we could have a calm countdown. We were sharing a fag, and the countdown started.”

As if rehearsed, you hear drunk voices loudly starting to countdown from ten inside the house.

Ten, nine, eight…

“And?” Ross pushes you to continue.

Biting your bottom lip, you try your best to hold back from smirking as you casually add, “And I said happy new year.”

He hums, “Not forgetting something?”

“Am I?” you play dumb, holding the cigarette between your fingers as you look at him.

Seven, six, five, four…

He turns to look at you, taking one little step towards you to invade your space, and nods, “I reckon, yeah.”

Your brows furrow and you cock your head to the side as you feign confusion.

“Mind refreshing my memory?”

You don’t have to tell him twice.

He pounces on your lips harshly, and it’s this time that desperation shines through the movement of his mouth on yours. His tongue doesn’t waste a second to slip past your parted lips and he groans when he tastes the tart tobacco on your tongue along with the vodka cranberry you’ve been having all night.

His trimmed beard itches your skin in a way that drives you mad and you can only think about how you would really like to get used to it. Your mind betrays you thinking about how it could feel brushing between your thighs, your arms swing around his neck and your fingers run up his scalp, making him moan into your mouth.

Three, two, one…

Your lungs burn with the lack of oxygen and you pull back, panting, but a smirk doesn’t fail to break on your face and you breathlessly quip, “Ah yes, I remember now.”

Your cheekiness has him groaning again before he dips back for another kiss, his arm wrapped so tightly around your waist that you’re pressed impossibly close to his front, you cling onto him just as passionately and let everything you’re feeling in the moment show through the way your mouth moves along with his.

Revelling in the taste of him, the feel of him.

The two of you tune out the loud drunk voices wishing each other a happy new year on the other side of the door.

“Happy New Year, sweetheart,” he says against your mouth when he pulls back slightly.

Your breaths mix, becoming one as you try to get back oxygen into your lungs. Your nails dig into his scalp, wishing for there to be a way for you to melt into him. You can think of a few ways you can even come close to becoming one with him.

Your pupils are blown when you open your eyes and look into his, “Happy New Year, Ross.”

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

The pride that swells your chest every time Ross sends you a picture of a place he and the boys are touring is impossible to explain with words.

You burst into tears every time you talk about your talented boys travelling around the world after the hit their debut album had been. The scolding you got for missing a day of work to go up to Manchester and celebrate their first number one album was definitely worth it, for celebrating their talent and the success they deserved was one of the best fucking days of your life.

After a few months of touring, the boys have finally come back home for the holidays. The 17th of December they played their last gig of the tour in some festival in Virginia, and on the 18th they had come back to their shared flat in Manchester.

So you were up in Manchester too.

“Love, you need to dial it down on the speed,” you tell Ross when you come back into the kitchen after taking your stuff to Ross’ room.

The second you got to the flat, you had been greeted with loads of hugs and kisses from the boys and far too many stories for you to hear in one afternoon. Your bag had been left forgotten by the door where you dropped it when George came running to crush you in a hug that you welcomed gracefully, and then the rest of them followed.

Ross had been quite distracting with the amount of kisses he stole before the guys gagged enough times to have him leave you alone and then they took you to the settee where they sat you down and told you all about the tour.

But then Adam’s girlfriend came over and they went off on a date, George went out to meet his girlfriend at a restaurant, and Matty was off to his parent’s house to visit them and little Louis who had been missing him loads.

That was when Ross finally had you all to himself, and despite the fact that he was itching to get you in his room, he hadn’t been able to say no to baking cookies with you first.

The same cookies you had made him and his family the day he gave you the potatoes back on Christmas day 2002. It just felt right to choose that recipe in particular.

Ross frowns as he looks at the mixer quickly, maybe too quickly, mixing the sugar and butter together, “Why? It’ll be over faster and we can go to my room.”

The smirk on his face makes you chuckle, and you shake your head as you walk up to him. “Oh, you’re awfully confident,” you tut before wrapping your arms around his neck.

He wraps his arms around your waist and dips his head to kiss you but you pull back slightly, he raises his brows in question, “Thought you had missed me.”

“I did,” you assure, your eyes falling to his lips, but you pull back again when he dips down for a kiss once more. You love to tease him you’ve found ever since you got together at the beginning of the year, and so you do, “But I think you missed me more, didn’t you?”

With that voice of yours, it’s impossible for him to deny it. He fights a groan but lets his hands fall slowly down your waist and lower back to your ass and there, he squeezes harshly as he says, “I certainly did.”

You swallow a moan but the hunger in your eyes is clear and a mirror of his, but before you can get too carried away, you let your hands run down his chest and you pat it twice before demanding, “Okay, stop it. Let’s finish this first.”

“Alright, sweetheart,” he agrees easily.

Just because it’s you. It’s hard for him to be stubborn when it’s you.

When the cookies are in the oven, he tries to distract you with those kisses of his that leave you breathless and needy, but you really have to remind yourself of the danger it would entail if you let yourself fall into your boyfriend’s charms and leave the cookies to burn.

It’s only when all three batches of them are out and on the cooling rack, which Ross definitely bought just for the times you came around and wanted to bake, that you and Ross run off to his room and make up for the time you’ve spent apart.

That’s how most of the days that you’re back together go: either tangled in between the sheets, indulging in each other’s touch and letting the devotion you feel for the other translate in your bodies becoming one, or cuddling as you watch film after film—or rewatching the three seasons of Game of Thrones, which he’s certainly obsessed with, and you definitely tease him about how much you fancy Jon Snow as if he doesn’t resemble him.

You go Christmas shopping together but split for an hour in the middle of your afternoon to buy each other your gifts, coming back giggling as you hide your gifts from the other but definitely try to guess what you’ve got as you go back to the flat.

The best time is when you’re all getting ready to go back to Wilmslow, like a big happy family you take up every seat in Matty’s car and it’s a chaotic thirty minute drive that makes your heart swell inside your chest.

The afternoon of the 24th, it is starting to snow outside and you two are cosied up on the settee with a shitty American Christmas film playing in the background as you go through your pictures throughout the years.

“Ross, look at you!” you coo loudly when you find a polaroid of him with a birthday hat on which is dated June 6th 2003. “A baby!”

He grimaces at the look of his long hair, styled to the side of his forehead and brushed down and straight like a cow had licked it, “Ugh, that’s a mess.”

You scoff and chat back, “No, you were so cute,” before going back to pouting over the picture of him.

He hadn’t started growing proper facial hair yet and he looked like a baby after he had shaved the patchy beard he always got back then. Nostalgia hits you as you remember how cute you thought he was back then and you still do. Somehow, your crush on your boyfriend only gets stronger with time.

“‘Were’?” he questions you with a raise of his brows.

You want to laugh at him for sticking to that bit of your words but swallow it to tease, “Yeah, ‘were’.”

A screech leaves you when his fingers come to mercilessly tickle your sides and you thrash around the settee as he comes to hover over you and continue his attack.

It’s a mix of shrieks and cackles and begs for him to stop that fill the room and overpower the sound of Will Ferrell’s voice, the pictures have all spilled on the floor as you kicked your legs and waved your arms around helplessly.

“Baby, stop!” you beg again and this time he listens, leaning in to press a bunch of kisses all over your face before pulling back and helping you sit back up on the settee.

The two of you start gathering the pictures from the floor then and sorting them through the years. But it is then that you notice the gap in between years, when you had been so foolish to ruin things all because of your bitterness.

The sorrowful words leave you as you flip through the handful of pictures from 2006 and the clear difference with only the few from 2007 and then the lack of them from 2008 to 2011. “So many years with no pictures…”

Ross blames it on him though, “I was an idiot.”

But you won’t let him take the blame all on his own, “Oh babe, I was too.”

He smiles sadly at the pictures but when he looks at you, his smile grows wider, “We’ll make up for it.”

His hand brushes your hair behind your ears and you nod, agreeing, “Definitely,” before kissing the palm of his hand softly.

Your boyfriend’s face melts in adoration and his voice drops an octave as he speaks, “I’m never letting you go, you know that right?”

The stupidest smile tugs at the corners of your mouth then before you reply, “I wouldn’t dream of ever leaving.”

Carefully setting the pictures aside, he shuffles closer to you and kisses you soft and sweet. His lips move on your with the same intent that his fingers dig into your cheeks.

Your hands come over his, wanting to keep his touch there, for him to never stop holding you like this and he confirms that he’ll never even think of doing it when he pulls back and mumbles against your lips, “I love you so much, sweetheart.”

The fluttering in your belly and the electricity that buzzes through you never dwindles, no matter how many times you hear him say that.

Nothing’s been easier and felt more natural in your life than saying it back, “Love you so much more, babe.”

You love telling him how much you love him and you love even more seeing his cheeks tint pink when he hears you say it. He always struggles maintaining eye contact after you let it slip past your lips like he can’t help but become putty in your hands when you utter those three words to him.

And you can’t help but giggle at the effect you have on him.

He basically throws himself forward and hides his face in your neck, but he forgets his size and strength for he makes you tumble backwards and fall on the settee with him over you, stealing your breath away.

He doesn’t move when you groan about him crushing you, he only nuzzles in your neck more and you just let it happen. Having him on top of you is your favourite feeling in the world after all, so you just let him melt over you and you even bring your hands up to his head, scratching his head and massaging his scalp. He moans and groans, getting you all flustered in the process.

You can hear his breathing evening out and his heartbeat becoming more regular, so you know he’s about to fall asleep and you smile at the thought of falling asleep like this right now, but the front door opens and your parents walk back into the house with a handful of bags each.

“Did you buy everything mum?” you ask like you have every year since the potato fiasco in 2002.

“Yes,” she calls back with an annoyed sigh like every year.

But you keep taunting her, “Didn’t forget a thing?”

She indulges you as she sing-songs, “Not one.”

You hum, continuing to play with Ross’ hair, “How about the potatoes?”

Ross smirks at your taunting and shakes his head. But then your mum tiredly answers from the kitchen, “They’re here, who do you think I–...”

The trailing off has you and Ross holding your breaths, and then you hear your mum’s loud cursing, “Oh bollocks!”

And the two of you can’t stop the cackles that leave you.

Trying to speak in between laughter is hard and your mum can barely make out your words when you ask, “Did you forget the potatoes?”

“Yeah…”

Tears spill from your eyes as you continue to laugh, “You’ve got something against them I swear, woman.”

“Could you go get some, please?” your mum asks, seeing that there’s still some time left before the shops close down.

You sigh tiredly but actually give in, “Sure.”

Ross leans in and kisses your lips softly and, unfortunately, very briefly.

“Don’t worry. I got it,” he whispers against your mouth, a hint of cockiness in his tone that makes you smirk and play along to what he’s trying to do.

“Will you take some Christmas cookies in exchange for them?” your fingers continue playing with his hair, but you pout to try and play onto the pity you want him to take on you.

He hums like he’s thinking about it but he settles for something else, “Actually, I’ll take a kiss.”

“Just one?” you question with your brows raised.

He gasps like it’s a miracle you’re offering more than one, “Oh well, if you’re feeling generous.”

Your fingers trail down the sides of his face until you can rub circles on his cheeks with your thumbs, “Christmas is all about giving, isn’t it?”

The words echo inside his mind, and he smirks harder knowing what he’s meant to say, “I guess it is.”

A breathy chuckle leaves you, and he steals it by smashing your lips together. Every time he kisses you, you lose track of time and everything around you loses its meaning. You’re completely blinded by him, overcome by his existence, full of everything he has to give you.

Unfortunately, you can’t continue losing yourself in him for your mum shouts from the kitchen, “Oi! Go get the potatoes, you two!”

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

A/N:  This was actually so much fun to plot but a bit tricky to write, so I truly hope you enjoyed the final product!! Kinda wishing I wrote more holiday themed fics now, but I promise I'll try to bring more of them soon, as many as my heart can take lol. I'll take this opportunity to thank you for reading and sending in your reactions, for accompanying me through this crazy year. Love yous so much and I wish you all the happiest new year!!! MWAHHH xxxx

Taglist: @imagine-that-100 @kennedy-brooke @abiiors @everythinggetsfuzzy103 @on-administrative-leave @ughgoaway @harryssiren @2kwreck @obses-sedd @scarlett-grace-2 @taylorswiftsrep-blog @solitariodecartas @cherryofmydesire @momentum2023 @soggynoodles02 @poisonmedaddy13 @k4tie75

#ross macdonald #the 1975 #ross the 1975 #ross macdonald the 1975 #ross macdonald fanfic #ross macdonald fanfiction #ross macdonald fic #ross macdonald imagine #ross macdonald blurb #ross macdonald oneshot #ross macdonald drabble #ross macdonald fluff #ross macdonald angst #ross macdonald smut #ross macdonald x reader #ross macdonald x you #ross macdonald x y/n #ross macdonald x yn #matty healy #adam hann #george daniel #iliwys #abiior #noacf #bfiafl

[markantonys]

episode 5 thoughts!

heartbroken by no mat, but i was expecting it since min wasn't credited for this episode on imdb, and there was so much other amazing stuff going on, so i can cope. i do think they must be gearing up for a mat-heavy episode soon because his content has been so sparse thus far! we also didn't have lan this episode, which i'm good with since he got so much last week.

(minor imdb casting spoiler: ayoola isn't listed for ep6, so i'm guessing we may have no perrin next week. they definitely do have a lot of different groups to juggle! but IF mat & lan soon join the cairhien crew, we could condense things)

also sad at not much elayne, but again, the remaining episodes will probably be pretty big for her! same with egwene, that storyline didn't progress as fast as i'd thought it would in this episode, but OOF the preview for next week looks like A Lot!!

back to the beginning! falme looks SO COOL!!! and the opening scene with the seanchan was fantastic, it showed off so many different aspects of their culture in just a few minutes (namely their various Ceremonial Things and ideas of who's allowed to speak to whom)

lanfear just whispering "bitch" the second she revives killed me djkfjg what an icon. and we get confirmation that it is indeed the True Power that she used to revive herself.

Lanfear Unleashed is SO much fun oh my god, i love seeing her in full forsaken mode

moiraine telling rand that he can't sleep because lanfear will get him, girl don't tell him that he's going to internalize it and not sleep for the next 6 seasons. this season is really Wheel Of Time Origins: Rand's Various Emotional, Mental, and Physical Health Problems

elyas saying the ef5 aren't perrin's pack HOW DARE!!! i feel like they're making elyas even more standoffish/human-averse than he was in the books, which makes for an interesting dynamic and contributes to perrin's sense that his human & wolf sides can't coexist.

but hopper follows perrin!!!! the goodest boy!!!!!

AVIENDHA IS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE'S EVERYTHING!!!!! although ngl her fake accent does sound a bit Fake to me lmao but i'm sure i'll get used to it after a few more scenes

hot dain bornhald is also here! he kinda compels me and i'm furious about it. if whitecloak why hot? in all seriousness, i can see already from his intro episode + the basics of his book story that he has the potential to be quite an interesting character if fleshed out more and given more screentime compared to what he had in the books, sort of a liandrin-and-alanna-like Main Secondary Whitecloak for us to follow

also he totally wants to fuck perrin you can't change my mind. buying him drinks and giving him a Cute Nickname, boy you ain't subtle! and then aviendha briefly hits on perrin later and also perrin stops her from killing dain. wake up babe, insane new WOT polycule just dropped djkfjfg

OB!!!! FREAKING!!!! SESSED!!!!!!!! with verin's detective subplot!!!! it is SO much fun, it delivers a ton of great exposition (namely about the black ajah), and it gives us a bigger peek into the brown ajah than the books ever did. i love this squad!! also katie leung was probably my first Girl Crush (not that i was aware of it) when i was like 8 so i was thrilled to see her show up here, god bless

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, IT GAVE US CONFIRMATION THAT GAWYN EXISTS IN SHOWVERSE!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH when i tell you i came extremely close both to screaming and to falling off my bed!!!! i'd been hoping for a gawyn namedrop all season but having it here was SO unexpected! my current theory is that he'll be introduced in caemlyn next season along with elaida and galad, and all 3 of them will head to tar valon to look for elayne because they're worried after not hearing from her for a long time.

also now i want a fic where the wondergirls actually do get special permission from mommy morgase to leave the tower just so that they can attend gawyn's birthday party

anyway, someday gawyn and egwene are going to kiss with tongue onscreen and haters can die mad about it <3 oooh now i have a brand-new meetcute for them to look forward to since they didn't meet at the tower!

liandrin & nynaeve's convo in the ways was so good! they continue to do amazing work with that relationship and liandrin's character. AND WHEN SHE SUBTLY FREED THE GIRLS RIGHT BEFORE LEAVING HOLY SHIT i gasped!!!!! the LAYERS they have given this character!!! because yes she serves the dark BUT she still feels loyalty to her sisters (as seen in s1 too when she appeared genuinely upset over kerene's death) and can't stomach the thought of any of them, even the light-serving ones, being collared!

suroth saying with her whole chest "oh sure you're a forsaken but you're not even of the blood soooooo" god grant me her confidence. also another great illustration of the insane heights to which seanchan high blood take their superiority complexes. good god, what's tuon gonna be like?!

avi's fight scene was just as amazing as i'd been hoping and expecting!! 10/10 no notes. can't wait to see what she can do when she has weapons at her disposal!

and later avi tells us that she is out in the wetlands Looking For Her Man (that she doesn't yet know is Her Man) <33

moiraine saying "get rand some nice new clothes" and barthanes immediately offering to dress him, Sugar Baby Rand lives on! also, anvaere and barthanes definitely thought rand was moiraine's sugar baby after they cleared the warder possibility, you can't change my mind

also also, barthanes is so surprisingly sweet! i wonder if he'll still be a darkfriend, or if anvaere will be instead

lanfear making ishy dream about caressing rand's face in bed is something i will go insane thinking about every day until i die. like oh my god i don't even know where to START with unpacking that, so i won't even try djfkjg

like for real, they ALL BUT made it explicitly canon that ishy had/has a crush on LTT/rand LMAO it's what we deserve

and we get forsaken namedrops! moghedien, graendal, and "the boys." it could be that semirhage did still make it and lanfear just chose not to go on and on listing every single one (slash the writers wanted to give themselves some leeway in specifically naming forsaken in case they don't get enough seasons to deal with all of them), or it could be that one of the statues from last season was actually a man and/or stepin's statues aren't accurate, and we've got 5 men instead of 4 (in which case i'd imagine ishy, asmodean, sammael, demandred, and rahvin)

i'm gonna have to watch this ishy & lanfear scene again to pick up more because i was FAR too distracted by the initial homoeroticism to keep focusing lmao

aww i'm kinda sad not to get elayne & nynaeve hiding out in falme completely on their own, but for their sakes it's nice they've found (been found by) some Real Adults to help!

LANFEAR'S OUTFIT IN THE END SCENE LMAO this season really just went off the WALLS with horniness and kinkiness, and i am here for it. it's what rj would've wanted

now that moiraine and rand are indeed staying in cairhien after all, i really think we might get a cauthor reunion next episode!!!! fingers crossed!!!!

#wot #wot on prime #wot show spoilers #wot book spoilers #the wheel of time

[freddie-77-ao3]

chiron, on a rare occasion of caring about more than his chosen ones: so how are you all coping? travis: denial's working pretty well lou ellen: personally i prefer weed katie: AYYYY, 420 blaze it cecil: i've found shoplifting and petty crimes help will: working myself until i'm too exhausted to think about anything's usually good drew: personally, vodka malcolm: coping? connor: well, I decided to read some self help books chiron: i... see

#pjo hoo toa #pjo #riordanverse #pjo series #pjo fandom #incorrect quotes #malcolm pace #connor stoll #drew tanaka #travis stoll #katie gardner #lou ellen blackstone #cecil markowitz #will solace #chiron pjo #i am in fact anti chiron #anti chiron #i just have a lot of feelings about the way he handled... a lot of things and #frankly we see him through the chosen ones' eyes-- percy and annabeth #not the regular demigod #who he sends to die #they don't get the glory or the fame or the reward #they get child coffins and scars and trauma that lasts a lifetime

[witheredoffherwitch]

some hatred towards alysmond is coming from people with weird moral indignation i'm afraid. how do i know? cause in 9 out of 10 aemond×oc fics reader is soft, submissive, boring as hell and aemond is possessive, jealous and control freak. certain people will never like alys cause they can't relate to her. she is cunning, knows how to survive and make the best of it, and she is immediately labelled as dangerous seductive famme fatale. i don't care what they say, i knew for many years that really strong women don't put down those who clearly are confident and smart because they don't feel threatened by them. even if that's about the fictional character but you see those people can't tell a difference between real person and fictional character as they proved when telling olivia they hate her cause she plays a cunt and insulting gayle looks just because they expected eva green of katie mcgrath so they can get the confirmation she seduced him with her looks. sorry to disappoint you but even maesters noticed aemond in harrenhall didn't choose some younger ladies to bed but alys. they can't understand aemond fell in love because she was smart, witty, resourceful? maybe to him looks didn't matter but i dunno, something like personality? but they don't know what personality is so what to discuss here? now having oc with no personality bland as fuck is sign of genius. you know you can't write smart character with personality because then people won't self insert. they only can self insert into complete idiots. good to know they are impressed by someone nameless and faceless and personalityless. fools can only identify with fools.

not gonna lie helaemonds have a part of trashing alys cause they can't get over their disappointment she would be casted when they were sure alys would be cut cause her powers went to helaena. i have ss of their comments or posts so if they piss me off i would public it. they also can't comprehend why aemond would leave capital to begin with he was to fuck helaena during the war. huge bunch of helaemonds openly admitted they don't care about aemond, all they care about is helaena being with someone better than aegon. they don't understand aemond and his motives, they constantly trash aegon as worse than daemon and viserys combined so best to ignore them, their brains don't work anymore.

alys suffers from both teams cause both teams need a punching bag. tb does want every woman to uphold the patriarchy to just call them karens and they will be hugely disappointed because alys doesn't support the patriarchy so this argument works only with alicent and even helaena. tg is full of people with parasocial relationships with ewan and aemond as if any of them would ever have sex with them. they are jealous alys gets to have sex with him and they have to self insert into bland copy paste oc.

i feel really sorry for these writers who think writing alys as bad bitch will make their uninteresting self insert bland oc great or more shippable with aemond. how they are stuck in their black white thinking of the world when they write alys as smart, ambitious=bad bitch and oc naive, innocent, soft, submissive=great girlfriend material. it must be so boring to feel threatened by fictional character who isn't brainless like most of their ocs. so they need to cope by writing blushing virgin for aemond and that's how they convince themselves they'll find their aemond is real life. imagine how sad their life is!

Hi nonnie 🤗

This ask has been sitting in my inbox pile for ages; but fear not, I have finally unearthed it 😭

And honestly, there's not much to add - your words ring true and I couldn't agree more. Keep spilling that pipin' hot tea!

#anon asks #hotd fandom #aemond fanfiction #alys rivers #aemond targaryen #alysmond q #fandom bs

[plasmaapologist]

...just realized i left my introduction in the drafts. oops. at least i have a better photo now.

my names tula, and i'm a registered pokémon nurse with a horrible tendency to ramble. i live in unova and do some work here, but i mainly travel to other regions for this.

i am a former member of team plasma. former. my username is ironic because i cope with humor.

i ran away from home at age 14- it's a long story - and ended up being indoctrinated in. i, like many others, were lucky to have a sort of "snap to reality" moment after ghetsis' first arrest, before the formation of neo plasma, but not before i spent 10 years of my life working for him. many people are shocked by how open i am about my experience, but i think its extremely important to talk about these things: if i could help just one person leave this cycle, or keep someone from entering it, then it would make the shame worth it.

i have dedicated my life to helping pokémon, as a way to attone, i suppose. my darling solosis, mini, travels with me, though i must admit she's quite the spoiled brat. to have such an innocent creature love and trust you is the most healing experience someone can ask for, and i acknowledge that i was so very lucky. i had a home to return to, i was able to find work despite my history, and physically, i bear only a scar on my back and a missing finger... also just so we all know i am a natural ginger and i am not going to dye my hair please stop asking thanks

feel free to ask me any questions you may have: about pokemon, about myself, or my experience with team plasma, any of the sort. and if you need help leaving neo plasma or a group like it, please shoot me a message, i'll give you all the advice i can.

- tula ☆

ooc and admin info:

hi! im cassini, im 21, and i have not rpd since middle school. please be nice

im okay with joining events and plotlines! but i do not know how to join in naturally and get too embarrassed to ask. please shoot me a message/invite! muse list bellloowwwww tulas info

im not lore compliant at times and am even willing to bend (most) of my own headcanons bc multiverse and the likes! very flexible in general

okay more important tula things:

- sapient pokemon interaction is okay! tula will generally believe them. shes seen weirder. legendaries will be met with much more scrutiny, but kindness.

- i keep her age purposefully vauge for "pokemon timeline makes no sense" reasons, but you can generally imagine her somewhere between 26-30, probably.

- shes been through a lot and often copes with humor, which means she tends to come off the wrong way a lot of the time

- though open about her time in plasma, she doesnt like talking about how it affected her

- she speaks before thinking and often posts in bursts do to this

- she has a pretty shitty memory

MUSE LIST:

Timeline 1:

Tula Gagnon - @plasmaapologist (OC. 📍Unova. Birthday: January 1st)

Callisto Aoki - @cherishcherubi (OC. 📍 Kalos. Birthday: October 25th)

Iolana Kealoha - @teamskullkalos (OC. 📍Kalos. Birthday: April 12th)

Timeline 2:

Mari Pijotto - @marifromkoto (OC. 📍Paldea. Birthday: December 18th)

Katy - @patisserie-soapberry (Canon. 📍Paldea.)

Atticus - @navisquadatticus (Canon. 📍Paldea.)

Larry - @medali-gym (Canon. 📍Paldea. Half joke blog.)

Robin Lusk - @absolsrenegade (OC/Self Insert. 📍Unova. Birthday: July 5th)

Timeline 3:

Timeline Unknown:

Grise (Hilda Lewis) - @driftingtrainer (Canon. 📍 Vagabond. Birthday: October 5th)

Rochelle Ichihara - @basaltpowder (OC. 📍Hoenn. Birthday ??? )

Barbie & Ken: @championbarbie-swimmerken - (It's fucking Barbie. Yeah, the pink one. 📍 Everywhere. She's Barbie. Birthdays: March 9th, March 11th)

Ice - @rottenice OC. 📍Primarily Sinnoh, but travels a lot. Birthday: December 21st. Please read content warnings in the pinned post.

Miki Nakajima - @nakajima-lgm OC.📍 Johto. Birthday unknown. Please read content warnings in the pinned post.

@galacticfoundation - Team Galactic AU blog.

@twotoypokemon Pokémon Rumble based blog. Sapient Pokémon OC. 📍Axel Town

#yes. i was a platoon leader and had a sword. #yes. i do still own it. its good self defense when you dont have a pokemon who likes fighting. #pkmn irl #rotomblr #unreality #pokeblogging #[admin note: tulas current age is purposefully vauge for “pokemon timeline makes no sense” reasons] #[also i'm totally fine with your character having some beef with tula due to her... past employment. it does fit her character :)] #[if you have any questions for admin feel free to ask in the comments!]

[bimrsadler]

Hey! I’m here with a fluffy request for Joel Miller. I love your stories. You always write so beautifully for Arthur and I’m sure you’ll do a great job for Joel too! You can add smut if you’d like to but basically, I just have this fluffy scene in my head that I need to read 🥺.

I can’t shake the image of Joel’s lady coming home late one evening and finding him on the sofa fast asleep. The man is fully laid back like he sat down and crashed out within seconds. His mouth is open with the softest snores escaping him, maybe they sound a little funny too, but it’s just a wholesome moment. She admires Joel in his peaceful slumber before eventually moving towards him and carefully removing his shoes, grabbing some blankets and making little adjustments for his comfort. 

I’ll leave you to write the rest, my love. I've dropped a little image here too, which I think is just so cute! Thank you, Katie ❤️

Rest and Reward

Pairing: Joel Miller x female reader

Word count: 968

Warnings/tags: fluff, mild suggestive themes

Notes: Okay y’all bear in mind this is my first attempt writing Joel/TLOU but I’d like to do more. Thank you for the prompt Chloe, it’s very cute and made me smile while writing it. 💕 Nothing too naughty for this one but maaaaaybe I could do a part 2?

Edit: link to part two

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

Autumn in Jackson was in full swing, the chill in the air biting at your cheeks as you made your way home. Home. It still felt like such a foreign concept but it was real and the doorstep was just within reach. It wasn’t a derelict building full of ghosts and rubble, nor a tent with rocks for a bed and danger lurking nearby. It was warm and welcoming, full of love and hope. And him.

Barely through the doorway you giggled to yourself when greeted by Joel’s distant snoring. Tiptoeing your way to the living room you saw him splayed across the couch, arm above his head with one foot propped up on the couch arm and the other planted on the floor beside it.

Even in the relative safety of Jackson Joel was still a hardworking man. He helped Tommy whenever necessary, labored around town when something needed fixing and took the most patrol jobs of anyone - much to your worry. You knew he could take care of himself of course and also understood that he liked to keep busy and feel useful.

Despite this, nothing was quite as satisfying as seeing him relaxed and settling into this new life. It wasn’t easy at first with survival mode as your base state of being for so long now and rarely a moment to breath. If he slept at all it was usually troubled, startled awake by nightmares most nights.

Slowly but surely however, your tensions eased. Joel found hobbies and ways to cope (though he’d never describe them in that way) like woodworking and playing guitar whether by himself or with Ellie. Your nights in bed were increasingly peaceful, comfortable and more fun with the newfound privacy.

Joel was obviously unable to make it to the bed on this night though, boots half untied but still on, head tilted to the side and mouth hanging open. You’d spent the day helping mend fences and fortifying for the coming winter while he went out on one of the longer and clearly exhausting patrol shifts.

You stood for some time gazing with affection, admiring the rise and fall of his chest, the occasional twitch of his fingers and how attractive his disheveled hair was.

The snoring had frustrated you on restless nights previously but in this moment it was endearing. In this moment it was a reminder of how fortunate it was to be safe, to be comfortable enough to pass out and wait for your lover to come home. To watch him sound asleep and wonder if he was having pleasant dreams.

His strong chest was always so inviting to rest your head on, the soft flannel unbuttoned enough to show hair and muscle, but you couldn’t stand to wake him.

You took the time to adjust any limbs that were at awkward angles then kneeled beside the couch. Gingerly you finished untying the ratty boots you had chastised him for waiting til they fell apart to replace. But he insisted they were still just fine.

The second one was tighter than you realized as it tugged his foot enough to make an amusing snort catch in his throat. You froze and stifled a laugh in hopes he wouldn’t fully wake. It appeared you were in luck as a heavy sigh escaped his lungs while he shifted further into the cushions.

You momentarily left him to fetch a blanket before returning to cover him delicately with it, making sure it stretched enough to cover him from shoulder to toe.

The snoring settled to quiet vibrations. Sweeping a grey lock away from his forehead you leaned down to plant a tender kiss there before heading toward the bedroom.

“That all I get sweetheart?” Joel’s voice rough and heavy with sleep called out before ou reached the stairs.

Walking back over his half-lidded eyes looked up at you expectantly, a crooked smile below them.

“Dunno cowboy, depends if you were only pretending to sleep this whole time.” You stood with a hand on your hip and raised eyebrows.

“No ma’am, only woke up when someone yanked my boots off.”

You scoffed playfully, “I shoulda just burned em…”

“Yer a cruel woman,” Joel stretched lazily before reaching his arms out around your hips and pulling, “now c’mere baby.”

An involuntary yelp escaped as you landed beside him, Joel chuckling while pulling your backside flush to his hips and draping an arm over you.

“Ain’t every day I get a pretty girl takin’ care of me like this. Could get used to it.” His lips caressed your neck with sleepy affection, the soft beard bringing goosebumps to your skin.

“That so?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Well it must have been a long day for you to crash like that, wanted you to be comfortable,” your fingertips wandered along the strong and protective forearm that rested against your breasts.

“It was darlin’, it really was. How ’bout I make it up to ya tomorrow morning?”

“No need to make anything up to me,” you stated sincerely. It came easily to the two of you to make kind gestures without expecting anything in return but, you were curious. “What did you have in mind though, handsome?”

Joel’s sturdy arms pulled you tighter to him with a gentle thrust from behind and the welcome touch of his hot palm parting your legs and gliding along your inner thigh.

His deep, rugged drawl fell against your ear with warm breath, “oh I have my ways…”

“Hmm well in that case…”

“Thought so,” Joel laughed softly and moved his hand back to its previous place against your stomach. “G’night baby, thanks again.”

You drifted off quickly, thankful for the safety of a home to call your own, the comfort of Joel’s arms, and the anticipation of what he had planned for you in the morning.

#joel miller #tlou #the last of us #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x you #tlou fanfic #joel miller fanfic

[faintedlcve]

OH MY GOD you love alexa and katie???? no because i rarely see anyone talks about that show *screams* i don’t know why i didn’t put that on my list, i used to be obsessed with it (the ending made me sob honestly). quick question, if you don’t mind, what’s your favorite ship from the show? <3

(sorry i went insane for a bit here 😭)

Hiii!! Yessss it's my comfort show xx I resonate so well with Alexa BC she's so reckless and reminds me of myself as a child lmao I used to be THE craziest kid and I honestly dk how my parents coped with me (sorry I'm slowly starting to digress)

I watch it whenever I'm sad and yes I have re-watched it multiple times and yes I still cry every single time at the ending lols I also re-watched it multiple times because PARIS BERELC IS SO GODDAMN GORGEOUS?!?! I love Isabel May as well they're both like so prettyyyy 😭😭

My favourite ship from the show is probably Aiden and Katie but omfg Spencer and Alexa is like tied with it (maybe even like #1) I also used to like Alexa and Dylan but like Alexa and Spencer is like the best bc they can like trauma bond and like Spencer understands her and how annoying it is and I find it so cute that Alexa got so annoyed bc people were calling him cancer boy 😭😭 AJSGAVAB

THEYRE SO CUTE TOGHETER WHAT

Anywaysss, what's yours?

(sorry I get really passionate about shows and end up writing like so much for a simple question lmao)

#alexa and katie #my comfort show #paris berelc #isabel may #theyre both so fucking gorgeous #fav ship #whats yours?

[lambtoccio-blog]

Rant:

I honestly love the neurodivergent representation in Billie Bust Up. I feel like I can relate to Katie very well with their adhd issues; how it's so hard to focus and be motivated and how it's hard to get and keep a job because of the stimulation.

And I'm unfortunate enough to be in a house that doesn't understand me and tells me to "grow up", or that "I have adhd too and I don't need meds" or whatever.

I'm actually being brought to tears listening to Katie talk about their adhd and how they cope because I never realised how /little/ neurodivergent people are seen and understood.

As a queer and neurodivergent person, I actually feel right at home in the BBU community.

Just- thank you guys so much for everything 🤍🤍🤍

@billiebustupofficial

Please let me know if I should refrain from tagging the account btw, I just had to say this and I wanted Katie to know how much I appreciate it.

#billie bust up #bbu #bbucommunity #autism #adhd #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #awareness #representation #actually autistic #actually adhd

[lizziethereader]

November 2022 wrapup

I did nonfiction November this month, with the challenge of reading (almost) only nonfiction (the actual challenge is not that strict, I just enjoy giving it a try) and I had one of the best reading months this year, I think! There was so much good stuff and nothing was dry or exhausting to read. Good times! 

[not pictured: A Long Walk to Water by Linda Sue, Park

favorite of the month: I really can’t choose! There was so much good stuff! 

nonfiction reads (8):  A Long Walk to Water by Linda Sue Park,  Many Different Kinds of Love: A story of life, death and the NHS by Michael Rosen,  Broken Horses by Brandi Carlile,  This Is What It Sounds Like: What the Music You Love Says About You by Susan Rogers and Ogi Ogas,  Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times by Katherine May, How We Go Home: Voices from Indigenous North America by Sara Sinclair, Understanding Comics by Scott McCloud,  Traumatized: Identify, Understand, and Cope with PTSD and Emotional Stress by Kati Morton, Schluss - mit lustig!: Wahre Wiener Begräbnisgeschichten by Patrick Budgen

classics (1): The Postman always rings twice by James M. Cain

poetry (1): Queer poems edited by Mary Jean Chan and Andrew McMillan

graphic novel (1): Understanding Comics by Scott McCloud, There’s a ghost in this house by Oliver Jeffers

#November 2022 wrapup #wrapup #mine #book photography