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aurumacadicus · 4 years

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If you are still taking asks for your 5 headcanons, could we get some Immortal AU with PepperMay + Stony please? 😀

I have also grown fond of these Chaotic Dumbasses. For reference, Peter was four in the original story here and he is now seven.

Maria learns about Pepper and Tony going to the human realm when, during the Spring Ball, Sarah had asked her where Tony was, because Steve wouldn’t tell her and they really needed to decide what season the wedding would be, because Maria was a Winter Fae, Howard had been from a Summer court, and the Rogers held Spring Court. “Wedding,” Maria repeats, trying not to show off how surprised she is. “What wedding? What do you mean Steven won’t tell you where he is?” “Uh,” Sarah says. “Steve tells me he left sweet peas and chrysanthemums on Tony’s porch, and that’s how we declare our intentions, so...” “What the fuck is a porch?!” Maria sputters. Sarah has never been more terrified in her life. Maria has always been cool, calm, and collected--any anger she felt was carefully hidden behind a smile until she could get revenge privately, because she considered public chastising ‘gauche.’ It’s a well-known fact that Maria is not to be trifled with, both in the Seelie and Unseelie courts. So she’s isn’t going to be the fucking idiot who lies to her. “It’s a human thing, I think?” “A human thing,” Maria repeats, voice devoid of emotion. Sarah does not cringe, but barely. “Yes. A human thing.” “ANTHONY EDWARD STARK,” Maria rages, releasing a surge of magic, and every fae at court makes the conscious decision to forget they heard his full name, because if there was one thing more dangerous than a Queen of Court’s ire, it was knowing her child’s name. Tony drops the basket of vegetables he’d been carrying and clutches his chest, bending over with a whimper. “Oh.” “Tony?” May asks in concern, setting her own basket down to grab him so he doesn’t just keel over. “My mother just walked over my grave,” Tony whispers. “Save yourself.”

“You guys have been here for three years, certainly Tony’s mother would have noticed sooner?” May asks as she packs a suitcase. “Time is different for us,” Pepper begins mysteriously, and then grimaces. “Also Tony avoids court events like the plague so Maria sort of expects him not to come.” “Sounds like Tony,” May agrees reluctantly. Steve appears beside them between one breath and the next, looking pale. “She’s coming.” “So,” Tony says grimly. “This is how I die.” “Your mother’s not going to kill you, Tony,” May scoffs. When the other two fae look uncertain, she firmly repeats, “She’s not going to kill you.” “Well, I mean, we left out realm without a word to her, went gallivanting about with humans, and now Tony has gotten engaged without any of the proper courting that is expected for a fae Queen’s son,” Pepper points out. “It would be a miracle for her to choose not to kill him. And me,” she adds thoughtfully. “May please pack faster we really need to get out of here before Tony’s mother arrives.” “Aunt May!” Peter says cheerfully. “I got my bag packed and put it in the car and this really pretty lady asked me if Pepper and Tony lived here and I said yes!” “FUCK!” May exclaims as Pepper and Steve immediately faint. She should honestly just leave them there for Maria to kill. They’d deserve it.

Maria Stark is as beautiful as Peter had said. She also grabs Tony by the throat as soon as she sees him. “You have embarrassed me in front of the other courts,” she seethes. “Yes,” Tony agrees, choking. “WHAT THE FUCK,” May exclaims when she sees this. She looks around, spots the broom, and grabs it, turning to wallop Maria in the head with it. “PUT HIM DOWN GOD FUCK YOU FAE I HATE YOU YOU’RE SO STUPID.” “Hit her again!” Peter cheers, bouncing behind May. Maria has been chased down by humans with a variety of weapons, but a broom has never been one of them, and she can’t decide if she’s offended or impressed. She settles on deciding later, instead setting Tony down and grabbing the broom. It immediately withers to dust in her hands. “I just trained that broom,” Tony says sadly. “Tony,” Maria says, voice as hard as steel. “You will be returning home with me immediately.” Tony turns to look up from the broom-dust, surprised. Then his face does something terrible, and he sneers and says, “I will not.” “Tony,” Maria snarls. “I hate it there!” Tony snarls back. Suddenly Maria doesn’t look as ethereal, as deadly--now she just looks surprised, as if she was just a regular human mother who had been told that her son didn’t like the piano lessons she’d insisted upon. “What do you mean, you hate it there?” “Nobody likes me there!” Tony snaps. “They pretend to, sure, but only because they’re afraid of me! Or worse, they’re afraid of you. The Rogers’ court were the only ones who weren’t intimidated by me, and I thought maybe I’d found somewhere I could belong where people wouldn’t treat me differently. Then I accidentally offended them, and I was told in no uncertain terms not to come back! What was I supposed to do? Come back to your court and be miserable? Pepper was my only friend there and she was leaving! She was the only one who cared about how I felt! So I followed her here, and it’s the best choice I’ve ever made! I haven’t even said yes to Steve yet, and do you know why?” “I’m sure I don’t,” Maria says softly, because she’s coming to realize she doesn’t know her son at all. “Because I know if I say yes, he’ll want me to come back to the fae, and I don’t want that! I don’t want to go back where people don’t like me!” Tony exclaims, tears glistening in his eyes. “Tony,” Steve and Pepper say from the doorway, feeling as if he’s just ripped their hearts out. Peter pushes past May and looks up at him sadly. “Me and Aunt May like you, Tony.” “I know,” Tony chokes out, and then he leans down to scoop Peter up into a hug and walks out onto the porch so he can sit on the swinging bench there. Maria stares after him, stricken, then disappears between one breath and the next. Steve and Pepper are quick to follow, there one moment and gone the next. May stares at where the fae had been, then silently walks out onto the porch to sit down beside Tony and wrap her arm around him.

May had known, of course, that Tony had been... hurt. It shone through when he least expected it to, like when he was out scolding his plants, or babysitting Peter, or after a happy couple were bickering over which veggies to get for dinner. He would stand there, and sigh, and his shoulders would drop, as if to say ‘this is the best I’ll ever get--and I should be happy with it.’ But she’d thought, perhaps foolishly, that Tony was getting better. So with the knowledge that he hadn’t, Tony had just gotten better at hiding it, she arrives early to farmers market and tells everyone that Tony is considering moving to a different market because a rich ‘Karen’ type had told him he was cute. Underhanded? Perhaps. But she learned from her girlfriend how to manipulate people for good. “You’re so nice, Tony, we love having you here,” Clint says, and Tony blinks at him in bewilderment even as he sneaks another box of cherry tomatoes into Clint’s bag because Lucky loves cherry tomatoes. “I’m so grateful for you lending an ear whenever I’m trying to puzzle out my next step in my thesis, Tony,” Bruce tells him, and takes his hand and gives it a squeeze, and Tony just smiles back shyly. “You’re so good at what you do, Tony, and your face lights up so beautifully whenever you talk to people about what they’re going to make with your produce,” Thor praises. “I didn’t like very many vegetables before, and you’ve singlehandedly made me enjoy eating them. You’re a treasure.” Tony blushes and covers his cheeks and pretends he doesn’t see Loki putting another box of green tomatoes in their bag. “I like you,” Natasha says simply, and when Tony’s face goes all scrunched up, trying not to cry, she sets down the bag of zucchini loaf she’d made for him and walks around the table to bring him into a hug. May is pretty proud of herself, because Tony seems to bloom under the praise, and his smile looks a little more genuine with each person. She’s just about to ask Tony if he wants her to relieve him so he can go walk off some nervous energy or get some lunch or something all of the sudden the hair on the back of her neck stands on end, and she whips around to see a family standing in front of Tony’s booth, and Tony looks quietly terrified. “Can I help you?” May asks, stepping up beside him, and he grabs her hand and squeezes. “We just wanted to see who the new fae is,” one of the men says, and May is immediately disgruntled. If this is a pissing contest or they tell Tony he needs to leave, she’s throwing the entire goddamn table at them. The matron seems to sense this, and holds her hand out to May in amusement. “Roberta Rhodes. Don’t worry, dear, we left court life long ago. Didn’t agree with me.” “I’m May,” May replies magnanimously, taking her hand. “And this is Tony Stark.” “Tony Stark?!” Roberta sputters, and then gives Tony another up-and-down. Then she laughs and laughs, and walks away still laughing, followed by the rest of her family. May stares after her, frowning in concern. “What the hell was that?” “Mama and Maria Stark were what humans call ‘frenemies,’” the remaining fae explains, looking amused, and holds his hand out as well. “James. Or Jim, I’m not picky.” He turns a smile on Tony. “If I know my mama, and I do, she’s gonna tell everyone that you’re under her protection just because she knows it’ll piss your mom off.” Somehow, Tony looks delighted by this. “Would you like to come to dinner?” May asks sweetly. “May for the love of frogs will you STOP INVITING FAE TO THINGS SO YOU DON’T GET FUCKING CURSED,” Tony snarls, turning toward her. Jim laughs.

May is glad she invited Jim to dinner. “FUCKING BLEW OUT MY KITCHEN WALL?!” Tony screeches at Pepper, Steve, and Jim. “Tony needs to put a quarter in the swear jar,” Peter points out to May. She motions his attention back at his food. “Eat your supper.” “THIS IS MY HOUSE I CAN HAVE GUESTS! SOMETIMES THEY’RE FAE!” Tony screeches at them, then turns to his wall again. “MY FUCKING WALL!!!!!” “I’ll build it back,” Steve offers. “THIS UPSETS MY HERBS! I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT! THEY’RE SENSITIVE!” Tony continues, and the other fae wince when they look at the herbs and see them wilting. May is almost certain that the herbs are hamming it up, because it seemed like they’d been watching the spectacle in interest only moments before. “We’ll apologize to the herbs,” Pepper offers. “YEAH YOU BETTER IF YOU WANT CHIVES IN YOUR--” Tony gasps in horror when he turns and finds the chive pot broken in half, soil spilling out. “My chives!!!” Jim walks over and cups his hands around the pot, which promptly forms itself back into one piece. “Sorry,” he tells the chives, which perk up happily. “Tony,” Steve says grimly. “I’m taking out your other kitchen wall.” “What the fuck--” Tony sputters, before Steve lets out bone-jarring noise and tackles Jim through it. “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO MY KITCHEN I COOK IN HERE!!!” Tony snarls, and then yelps when he sees the fight moving toward his tomato plants, scampering out after them. ‘YOU STAY AWAY FROM MY TOMATOES YOU MONSTERS!” “What have you done,” Pepper asks after a moment. “She’s cheering up Tony!” Peter answers happily. “Didn’t you see how happy he was?” Well, he was livelier than he’d been in a while, Pepper had to agree. “I’m still blaming you for the walls,” she says. May shrugs, unbothered. “Steve will fix them.”

#aurumacadicus answers #5 headcanons meme #peppermay #stony #summerpipedream

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phantomchick · 4 years

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Tony Stark Fic Recs

Burning Candles - by kerravon Hurt/comfort, exhaustion, concussions, hurt tony, steve is a bro, nick fury being morally shady, the avengers! Summary: A few months have passed since the Avengers fought the Chitauri, and the team is coming together, except for Tony, who seems to be coming apart. At first, Steve assumes that he's just being irresponsible and annoying, but then JARVIS clues him in.

Fifth Time Lucky - by Arkada oneshot, fluff, this fic is short, sweet and a lot of fun. Well worth the read. Summary: Tony Stark has five soulmates, but he gave up on finding any of them a long time ago.

Hide A Heart Of War - by RayShippouUchiha Tony Centric 2 chapter fic. Flower soul mark au. EXCELLENT ANGST. Lots of feels, there’s also a slow burn romance in the background. Rhodey is a good bro. Loving all the descriptions of the soulmarks. Summary: “You’ve got war in your heart boy,” Howard sneers, “don’t ever try and pretend to be anything but what you are.” Tony feels the familiar burn of a flower mark being etched into his skin but he doesn’t look, doesn’t try and check to see what it is. Instead he keeps his eyes on Howard and his hands cupped around his bleeding mouth and nose.

The (Not So) Great Pretender - by RayShippouUchiha Complete, secret identities, tony/bucky which i don’t usually ship but hey this author really makes it worth it. Oblivious Avengers. Hilarious but also angsty? Summary: Basically no one believes Tony when he tells them he’s Iron Man so he’s just... reluctantly keeping his secret identity going? It’s super funny.

To Victor Goes the Spoils - by tisfan Tony Stark/Victor von Doom, 10 chapters, complete, secret identities. Summary: In which Doom finds himself at a super hero masked ball... and gaining the attentions of the handsome and charming Tony Stark...Just one dance... just one kiss... before Doom unleashes his evil plot. Backstory: I accidentally stumbled on this doom x iron man fic so i thought i’d read it for laughs but then the fic itself was really good and I was suckered into shipping it. Now I’m in rarepair hell. The end.

Iron Man Yes, Tony Stark...Not Recommended - by lilsmartass Gen. Complete. 9 chapters. Angst, lots of angst. Hurt/comfort. Unintentional bullying. Rhodey is the captain of the tony stark defence squad. AND HE WILL HAVE HIS REVENGE. Summary: Clint and Steve have both seen Natasha’s report on Tony and expect him to be a certain way. With Pepper now out of the picture, Bruce in India and Thor is Asgard they have no one to show them just how wrong first impressions can be.

That Which Kills Us - by Ironlawyer Ultimates!verse, steve/tony, oneshot, internalised homophobia, Tony is not a good patient. Summary: Sometimes Tony hates being alive as much as he hates dying. Trying to juggle duties to The Ultimates and a terminal illness isn’t exactly easy. Throw in an irate Steve Rogers and things just get too damn complicated.

Doomed To Failure - by DobbyRocksSocks Oneshot, excellent content, i read this fic and then i had to sit in my chair and be like ‘whoa’ for a while. This au is very well done! Summary: Everyone is born with their soulmate on one wrist, and their mortal enemy on the other. What do you do when it's the same person?

Say Goodbye to Yesterday - by melonbutterfly 4 chapter fic, complete, time loop, team building, alien invasion. time travel is a trope i keel over for this you must learn. Summary: The day after the invasion Tony wakes up and his tower is intact again; everything is exactly the way it was before this whole mess went down.

Don't Bet Against the House - by AlexTheShipper 2 chapter fic, complete, protective Jarvis, team dynamics, fluff Summary: In which jokes about the arc reactor are not taken lightly, not by JARVIS who will never again sit trapped in his servers as someone attempts to kill Sir.

From A to Z - by Rachel500 26 chapter fic.Complete. Very very good, *sips fruit juice out of my champaigne glass* a classic of the genre! I’m a sucker for time travel as a trope, pair that with fixing the disaster that was the mcu chronology? BUDDY I’M SOLD.\ Summary: “OK, hypothetically, you get sent back in time one year. Does that make a difference?” Strange asked. “Two? Three? Could you live through the worst experience of your life again to preserve enough of the timeline to continue? Could you stand aside and let someone you love live through a bad experience in their life?” “OK. I get it. Bad idea.” Tony smirked at Strange to cover for his unease. “So. Plan B?” Strange grinned but there was a serious glint in his eyes. “How about we make it plan Z?”

Acceptable Risk Is Not - by izumi2 Super bamf tony, oneshot, Maria Hill redemption arc. Captain america the winter soldier. Not steve friendly but this can be blamed on the plot of the movie making zero sense with hindsight. Summary: what if someone considered an alternate solution to the data drop? THIS IS ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVOURITE FICS FOR REASONS SO PLEASE TRY IT.

The Course of Reason - by Infie Oneshot, aftermath of captain america civil war, Carol Danvers is a relateable ho whom I stan, the saltiest of all possible responses to that film. YESSSS. This is it. The fic that finally knocked me over the edge onto the civil war team iron man side of the fence. BEHOLD. It’s greatness. Summary: The UN has asked Tony to discuss their options with the Fugitive Avengers. It does not go the way they expect it to.

Uncompromising Principles - by Kizmet 19 chapter fic, it’s completed and it’s very well done, legal drama, Tony/Pepper, Steve is... a good person who made mistakes, he’s trying anyway, i can’t say more without spoilers, but it’s A Ride, like you’ll read this and it’ll make you have Feelings and Thoughts and it’s very clever in how it goes about making those Feelings and Thoughts happen. Captain America: civil war aftermath fic. Summary: After leaving Siberia Captain America begins his plans to overturn the Accords. But not all is as it seems.Not compliant with the end of "Civil War".

To intervene - by apathyinreverie Currently at 15 chapters, ongoing, a lot of fun, tony stark has a heart, tony and rhodey, civil war team iron man, mutant kind, pro accords. Summary: The one where Rhodey stages an intervention after the whole Ultron fiasco.

Veni, Vidi, Amavi - by Maedlin Treat yo’self. It’s a Time travel fic. ONE OF THE BEST: Bamf Tony Stark, Bamf Jarvis, Palladium Poisoning, Complete, 26 chapter fic, but you’ll wish it was longer by the time you’re done. (Luckily there’s an ongoing sequel series to enjoy!) THIS FIC IS SUPREMELY GOOD! And HEAVY on the Jarvis love! DO YOURSELVES A FAVOUR AND TRY IT SERIOUSLY YOU WON’T REGRET READING THIS. Highest of recs goes to this. Summary: (We came, we saw, we loved.) Tony's not the hero type. To suggest otherwise would be outlandish and fantastic, clearly. Yet somehow, he's the one that's responsible for saving the universe. Now, he's a decade in the past. He's just revealed to the world he's Iron Man. Tony finds himself facing dozens of old problems, and as time passes the ripple effect of his presence generates ever more new issues. All the while, the impending threat of Thanos looms ever-closer.

With One More Try (Can We Start Again) - by Infinite_Monkeys 5 Chapter fic, and it’s Completed. Time travel fix it, not strictly tony stark-centric but still a firm fave, A masterpiece. Definitely in my top 5 time travel fics and i’ve read a LOT so that’s saying something! Contains: That Good Loki Content. Summary: Loki's attempt to conquer Earth has, to his great dismay, succeeded spectacularly. When Thanos sends him to collect the Time Stone, he strikes a deal with the Stone's keeper: He'll be sent back to the beginning of the invasion, and this time, armed with knowledge about his opponents, he can lose properly. Or: a time loop fic in which Loki does increasingly desperate things to try and get the Avengers to defeat him already.

(Science) Bros before (HYDRA) Hoes - by Kizmet Tony is the captain of the Bruce Banner defence squad, Legal Shenanigans, It’s marked as Ongoing but what’s there is satisfying enough on its own I promise, basically a huge callout for Johannesburg, Hulk deserves a hug. Summary: The Hulk isn’t taken from the planet after AoU, there’s no one conveniently out of reach to take the fall for Johannesburg… A choice is going to have to be made: Wanda or the Hulk.

A Larger Matter - by TheSovereigntyofReality Oneshot. Consequences! The ‘Steve’s blood’ scene in the agent carter tv show always pissed me off so this fic was uh Cathartic shall we say, but honestly you can read it and have it make perfect sense even without having seen the show, Howard Stark, teenaged Tony, Team Stark. Woohoo. Summary: When Peggy Carter tipped out Steve's blood, she had no idea the hornet's nest she just kicked.

Who in their Right Mind... - by AnonEhouse Crackfic, Oneshot Summary: Dum-E saves the universe

Catching Butterflies - by GremlinSR Ongoing, 6 chapters and counting, very very good content, like you wouldn’t think so from the summary which is a little bland but it’s actually very very good. Believe me when I tell you: It contains The Good Stuff. Time Travel fix it, Bamf Tony Stark, Bamf yet confused T’Challa. Summary: Tony snaps his fingers...and wakes up five days before the events that led to the death of JARVIS and the creation of Ultron. He decides he won't let the future he lived come to pass, no matter how thoroughly he has to destroy the timeline.

The War is Far From Over Now - by Dont_call_me_Carrie Ongoing, 40 dhapters and counting, this fic is clearly the author’s baby and they put so much work into it so watching it grow is a pleasure. Protective Jarvis, Protective Stark Industries Employees who like their boss. Rhodey is a good Bro, Awesome Pepper Potts. Fix it via Accidental World Domination. Summary: In which Tony does not, in fact, intend to take over the world.... unfortunately, everyone else missed that particular memo.

Can I Quote You On This? - by Wix Oneshot, Mcu critical, Avengers Critical, salty, extremely salty. Uncovering Plot Holes is easy when the road’s full of them. Summary: Christine was sent in to just do a puff piece about the Avengers. What she uncovers instead is so much more interesting.

Strong Enough to Bend - by Kizmet Oneshot, salt and shade, tony stark & steve rogers, the author has Opinions about mcu steve so if that’s not your thing i wouldn’t rec it, not steve friendly? Summary: Steve ‘watches’ the videos on Tony Stark that Shield provides him with

Take that Away and What are You? - by Kizmet Oneshot, kidnapping, bamf tony stark, not steve friendly, I love this fic Summary: Tony and Steve get kidnapped. Since Tony’s wearing a tux, Steve figures it’s all up to him to get them out of this mess. Steve never really thought much about the conditions under which Tony built the Mach I.

Facing the devil (and the deep, blue sea) - by petroltogo Oneshot, au, not steve friendly, steve isn’t a good person in this fic, but it’s juicy, soulmate au, soulmarks Summary: Alternate title: No obvious truth Post-CACW: In an alternate universe where everyone has the name of their soulmate and the name of their greatest enemy written on their wrists, recently captured ex-Avenger Steve Rogers receives an unexpected visitor two days before the start of his trial. [The trick is figuring out which name is tied to which fate.] [The trick is realising you’ll never know.]

Asking Why - by Kizmet Oneshot. the relief and catharsis of logic. Nat, Hill, Cho, Rhodey and Pepper sit Tony down to talk about what led to the creation of Ultron. Scapegoating is stupid: The Fanfic edition. Summary: Applying analytical techniques in the aftermath of Ultron

#Tony Stark Fic Rec List #tony stark #fic recs #tony stark fic recs #Iron Man #Fic Rec List #Tony Stark has a heart fic recs #Iron Man fic recs #Avengers #Civil War Team Iron Man fics #warning i am very much pro civil war team iron man so some of these fic skew that way #i tagged for it #but as the marvel fandom can be pretty vicious #i'd like to say once and for all don't send me anon hate for reccing the fics that pick a side #don't like don't read #these are just fics I happen to like PERSONALLY

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blancheludis · 5 years

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A/N: @stony-week, day 7: fake dating

Fandom: Marvel, Avengers Characters: Tony Stark/Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes Wordcount: 3.431 Tags: Idiots in Love, Fake Dating, Getting Together, Oblivious Tony, Oblivious Steve

Summary: Tony needs a date for his parents' summer ball. Too bad Steve would never say yes. But surely, Bucky will be up for eating expensive food and pretending he likes Tony for one afternoon. Whatever could go wrong?

---

It is a matter of life and death. That is the only reason Tony stands in front of Steve and Bucky’s apartment on a bright morning with still warm muffins to bribe its inhabitants not to throw him out again immediately. He has a key but feels unable to actually take that last step.

When the door is ripped open suddenly, Tony takes a startled step back, staring wide-eyed at Bucky Barnes, who is looking more gruff than usual. He probably had a night shift last night, which has Tony considering to just turn around and flee. Barnes does not like him very much on his good days. There is no need to provoke him when he looks like death warmed over.

“Steve’s not here,” Bucky growls and starts to close the door again, right in Tony’s face. That would still be one of the nicer encounters they had.

“I know,” Tony blurts, “I’m here for you.” He then raises the bag with the muffins as a peace offering. “I brought breakfast.”

For a long moment, it looks like Barnes is going to throw him out anyway. Then he sighs, a long-suffering tone that shows he is fully aware that Tony’s presence usually ends in disaster for all of them. Without another word, he walks back into the apartment, leaving the door open.

Tony stumbles after him into the kitchen, where Barnes is already sitting back at the table, hands curling around a cup. He is smart enough to not reach for the coffee pot standing on the table. In a mood like this, Barnes is even more protective of his coffee than Tony usually is. To gather his courage he would need something stronger anyway.

“How did you know I was at the door?” Tony asks as he gets a plate for the muffins. He knows this kitchen better than his own, mostly because Steve insists that people need more than takeout to survive, while Tony’s fridge has likely never seen anything green in its life.

“Heard your steps,” Barnes answers, looking like he wants to crawl into his cup. “You’ve been fumbling with the keys for minutes, right outside.”

Tony decides not to comment on how creepy it is that Barnes heard him. Especially in this state of mind where he looks like he is going to keel over any moment. It is not like Tony is used to being quiet, but he is reasonably sure that his steps outside were not loud enough to be heard by a normal human being in here. Instead of arguing the fact, though, he simply puts the muffins on the table and watches, half-amused, how Barnes tears into the first one, never looking up.

Right then, when Barnes has his mouth and hands full, Tony decides is his opportunity to talk about his request. There will never be a good time, but he figures that Barnes will not murder him immediately if he is still busy eating. Wasting the muffins by getting blood all over them would be a shame.

“I need you to be my date for my parents’ summer ball.” Even knowing what he was going to say, Tony shudders. He remains standing in case he needs to flee suddenly.

It is a preposterous notion, the two of them going anywhere together. Tony and Barnes are both Steve’s friends, they are simply not friends with each other. It is more of a healthy rivalry. It is likely a sign that they are on a good way that Tony has not vanished without a trace yet. Barnes and his girlfriend Natasha give off the vibes that they could easily do that if they committed to it.

Barnes looks up from his muffin, his face is completely blank. He chews, slowly, stares at Tony with the acceptance of someone who always knew Tony would inevitably lose his mind someday.

“Why don’t you ask Steve?” he finally says, still not allowing even a glimpse at what he is thinking.

Tony is not sure whether it is a good or bad sign that Barnes does not question why Tony needs a date all of a sudden – and why he does not ask one of the dozen people always running after him on campus.

“Are you out of your mind?” Tony asks, incredulous. “I like Steve. And he’d hate it there.”

Like might not be the exact term for how Tony feels, but they are friends and that is more important than his illusionary hope for more.

“So you’re asking me? I’m flattered.” The slight mocking in Barnes’ tone is actually more promising than what Tony expected when he was loitering outside.

There is a simple explanation, of course, why it has to be Barnes. With him, there is no danger that Barnes will want something more from Tony than Tony is ready to give. Their animosity for each other is well known, but they can play nice, especially when Steve bullies them into it with his puppy dog eyes. They know each other well enough to pull this off too. It is ideal – a no strings attached night out with good food and plenty opportunity for Barnes to drown annoying people in his suffocating charm.

Instead of saying any of that, Tony simply shrugs. “Well, you’re much less sensitive.”

“Out of your mouth that sounds like an insult.”

As far as Tony is concerned, it is actually a compliment. He would much rather take Steve – even if the chances of Steve agreeing are virtually non-existent – but Barnes has more chances of not being eaten alive amongst Tony’s parents’ peers. Sometimes that permanent death glare and mechanical arm are good for something else than ending bar fights very quickly.

Instead of saying that – Barnes and he are not exactly in the habit of being kind to each other – Tony shrugs. “I’m not going to answer that.”

Barnes reaches for another muffin, tearing it apart as much as he is eating it. “Why don’t you go with Sharon?”

Appalled, Tony stares. “My cousin Sharon?”

His plan for this ball is to raid the bar, hide behind his date’s broad shoulders, and either excuse himself as quickly as possible or behave horribly enough that his parents throw him out to avoid him making a scene. Sharon gets along quite well with his mother, though, and even manages to make Howard keep his temper in check sometimes. If he were to go with her, he would have to actually socialise.

“She’s not your cousin,” Barnes argues.

They have had this argument before, only Barnes insisted the opposite then, bemoaning the fact that Sharon is the reason Tony even knows Steve, thanks to their brief relationship. While Sharon wandered quickly back out of Steve’s life, Tony stuck around.

“She’s my godmother’s niece,” Tony iterates, wondering why Barnes is so adamant on changing the topic. “So, yeah, she’s my cousin.”

Done with his second muffin, Barnes leans back in his chair and musters Tony intensely. “What do you think would happen if you took Steve?”

Tony snorts, unamused. That would be a catastrophe. If he ever managed to gather the courage to ask Steve out, and Steve actually agreed, they would stay as far away as possible from Tony’s parents. Howard has the habit of ruining everything he touches – and Tony does not exactly exclude himself from that – while his mother can be overbearing. The chances of Tony and Steve ever working out as a couple are slim enough without Tony dragging them into the life he fled from as soon as he legally could.

He shakes his head, trying to get rid of this eternal fantasy of him and Steve somehow fitting together. Being friends should be good enough. It is already more than Tony ever expected.

“He’d be miserable,” Tony explains honestly. “My mother would ask a lot of pointed questions, and my father would glare at him until he breaks. He’d hate me for putting him through that.”

What Tony does not say is that Howard would probably like Steve. More so, in any case, than he ever liked Tony. It is entirely possible that he would be charming and companionable, drawing Steve in with that façade he usually reserves for the press or potential investors. Tony does not think he could bear that. Especially since Steve is the kind of person who would try to repair the relationship between father and son, likely with a number of elaborate lectures about how Howard is not so bad and Tony should give him another chance. That would ruin everything.

“And I won’t?” Barnes asks but he sounds distracted, still looking at Tony with eyes that see far too much.

It is unfair, how someone so unsociable is so very good at reading people at the same time.

“You already hate me, Barnes,” Tony says dryly, swallowing the usual disappointment at that. Not because he actually wants to be friends with Barnes, but if Steve ever has to choose between them, it will be no surprise who will have to leave. “It’s no biggie.”

“Steve’s going to hate me too,” Barnes argues in a tone like this is a trap he is waiting for Tony to stumble into.

Frowning, Tony shakes his head. “He won’t.” He does not think there is anything Barnes could do that would make Steve turn away from him, including becoming an international serial killer. “He loves you.”

Barnes' lips tip downward as if his already low opinion of Tony has just plummeted even more. “For a genius, you’re really –”

Suddenly annoyed, Tony cuts him off. “Why do people keep telling me things like that?”

To his surprise, Barnes’ face brightens with amusement. “So I’m not the first you asked?”

As if Tony would be suicidal enough for that. The problem is, he has already exhausted all other possible dates. Pepper, being the obvious choice, is coming with Happy. Rhodey is out of the country, as usual. Clint is not an option. And – well, the number of people Tony trusts enough to come with him and not drive him insane by seeing this as an opportunity to schmooze with rich people instead of the actual torture it is, is depressingly short.

“Don’t sound so disappointed,” Tony drawls, “you’ll still be the prettiest girl at the ball.”

Reaching for the coffee pot, Barnes refills his cup. “I didn’t say yes.”

“You will,” Tony answers. He is reasonably sure about that because Barnes would never miss the chance to gather new blackmail material against Tony. Where better to do that than at a public event with his parents running around?

“Not in a hundred years.”

Barnes sounds convinced. The words have not completely left his mouth, though, when he reaches for a third muffin. Just like that, Tony knows he has won.

His last class of the day got cancelled, so Steve enjoys the luxury of feeling the sun on his skin as he hurries home for a shower and something to eat before he has to leave for his evening shift at the diner two blocks away. He usually has to run after class to make it on time. So much freedom feels foreign.

He walks into Bucky and his apartment whistling, throws his keys with practised ease in the profoundly ugly bowl Clint got them when they first moved in, and goes to find Bucky.

As he passes the kitchen, he finds a plate with muffins on the table. Since lunch has been several hours ago, Steve’s stomach growls with suddenly awakened hunger. The moment he has one in hand, though, he frowns. From the texture and smell alone he knows this is better than the stuff they can normally afford. Feeling paranoid, he looks for the bag in the trash and sees the logo of an expensive bakery downtown. The muffins were definitely not purchased by Bucky then.

In fact, Tony is the only viable explanation, and while he shows up randomly all the time, he knows Steve has to work today. Well, Tony’s forgetfulness at least got them free baked goods.

Steve walks on and knocks on Bucky’s door, wanting to greet him before he takes his shower. What he does not expect when he goes in, is Bucky with a slightly panicked expression, in a hurry to get either in or out of the suit he is half-wearing. It is the only one they own, and they share it like everything else.

“What are you doing?” Steve asks, the hand with the muffin hovering in the air as he stares at his best friend.

“What are you doing home?” Bucky asks back, briefly closing his eyes in the manner of the guilty being caught doing something they are not supposed to do. “You still have class. And then work. You’re not supposed to be here.”

Something is definitely going on. First Tony stops by when Steve is not here and now Bucky is acting suspiciously.

“Where are you going?” Steve’s eyes fall on the tie lying on the ground, the knot already made but hastily opened again. Bucky is undressing then. “Wait, has this something to do with the summer ball nobody’s telling me anything about?”

It is not just any ball, but the Stark’s summer ball, which might just be the biggest event of the year in this area, only outshined by the Stark’s Christmas Gala. Tony had once offered him to have his mum display some of Steve’s paintings there, but Steve refused whole-heartedly. Everybody told him it would be the smart move to make, but to him, it would feel like cheating.

As it is, he has no interest at all in going to a terribly snobby event like this. It would just remind him how far out of his league Tony is. It is already painfully obvious enough.

“Well –” Bucky says slowly, telling Steve all he needs to know.

What he does not understand is why Bucky would go to that ball. More so, why he would even get an invitation. He and Tony are not exactly good friends, although they keep trying for Steve’s sake.

An ugly suspicion creeps up on Steve. “Did Tony ask you to be his date?”

Rationally, it makes no sense. He does not even know where the thought comes from. Bucky’s sudden, guilty expression is all the answer he needs, though.

“Steve,” Bucky begins in a soothing tone that goes right over Steve’s head, “don’t get angry. That’s not good with your asthma.”

Steve is sure it is not because of his asthma that his breathing becomes laboured right now. A weight sits on his chest, half-panic and half-fear of losing something that has never been his, to begin with.

It does not make sense, though. Tony is good at acting but his blundering shyness around Bucky has nothing to do with a secret romance they might be hiding. They keep getting thrown together because they are both Steve’s friends. It is awkward, a disaster waiting to happen.

No, Tony would not ask Bucky to come to his parents’ ball just like that. There has to be a reason.

A sudden calm comes over Steve. “I need you to get out of these clothes,” he says, stepping into the room. As he holds out his hand, he notices the smashed remains of the muffin, a victim of his blind panic. Mindlessly, he sets it down on Bucky’s desk, wiping the remaining rumbles on his paint-streaked pants.

“What?” Bucky asks, not moving quickly enough. Not moving at all, actually, too busy with staring at Steve. “I’m sure getting naked with me would cure you of a lot of –”

Steve is not in the mood for joking, so he just talks over Bucky. “We only have this one suit, and I’m going to need it if I’m going to that party.”

He knows a girl majoring in costume design, maybe she can help him make the suit fit a little better.

He does not know what he is doing, but he is sure that Tony does not want to take Bucky to that ball. That, at least, has to be true. Steve might not like social gatherings, might be completely helpless in the face of so much excessive wealth, but he can bear that for Tony.

A small voice in the back of Steve’s mind warns him that he should not blow his infatuation with Tony out of proportion. Just because he likes Tony a little bit too much does not mean that Tony does the same. Perhaps it was not a mistake that Tony asked Bucky. Perhaps it was not a coincidence that no one talked to Steve about that ball. Perhaps – he will simply have to take a leap of faith.

For two years now, he and Tony have been walking circles around each other. Surely, it is better to get some concrete answers than to drown in what-ifs.

“You’re not invited,” Bucky says, bringing Steve back to reality.

In his head, he has already been stepping on the lawn of the Stark Mansion with Tony at his side. Here, though, Bucky has not yet taken any more of the suit off.

“I love you, Buck,” Steve says impatiently, “but I’m not going to let you be Tony’s fake date.”

Something in Bucky’s eyes brightens and his expression relaxes. That is enough to make relief shoot through Steve. He was not wrong.

“Who said anything about fake?” Bucky asks gruffly, but there is an unmistakeably smile on his face and he is already busy unbuttoning the shirt.

“I did.” Sudden weightlessness has Steve’s stomach flipping. Nothing has changed yet, Tony does not know, but they might just be on their way there. “Start undressing.”

Shaking his head, Bucky pulls off the shirt, careful not to rip it with his prosthesis. “You two deserve each other, you know that?”

“I sure hope so,” Steve sighs, “otherwise I’m going to suffer an unpleasant evening with Tony’s parents for nothing”

No time spent with Tony is for nothing, of course, but maybe, hopefully, they can turn it into more. Two years of pining has to be enough. Two years of – a wonderful friendship.

Face falling, Steve stares at the pieces of the suit on the ground in front of him. He cannot destroy their friendship for a hunch, a crush. It is better than to have just some pieces of Tony than nothing at all.

“Oh no,” Bucky says, appearing suddenly in Steve’s face. “You’re not going to talk yourself out of this right now.” Without warning, he sticks his hands into Steve’s pocket and gets out his phone. “We’re resolving this immediately.”

“What are you doing?” Steve asks, reaching for his phone but he does not have a chance against Bucky’s prosthesis holding him off.

“Hey, Stark,” Bucky says into the phone, and Steve is close enough to hear Tony’s confused greeting on the other end. That takes all the fight out of him. “I’ve got good news for you. I’m not coming to the ball with you.”

Angry yelling is audible, but Bucky cuts it off with a grin. “I’ve got someone better for you.”

With that, he holds out the phone for Steve. “You can thank me later.” Then he walks out of the room, not caring that he is only wearing boxers and might have just ruined Steve’s life.

“Tony?” Steve asks with some trepidation. “I thought – I heard you were looking for a date.”

The silence on the other end makes Steve suspect the worst. Then, Tony exhales loudly. “You don’t have to offer this out of pity.”

Pity? The very thought has Steve becoming upset. Not for the first time does he make a mental note to find whoever messed up Tony’s sense of self-worth and have a long talk with them.

“I want to go with you,” Steve says as firmly as he dares. No more lies. No more hiding. “I want to be your date. Your real date.”

“I –” Tony sounds at a loss but not disappointed, not confused. “Let me buy you dinner first?”

A grin spreads on Steve’s face. If nothing else, that is encouraging. It is not a no. “Tomorrow at six?”

“Yes,” Tony exclaims, leaving no doubt that he agrees with Steve’s plan, enthusiastically so. “Tell Barnes he’s won. I’ll build him that lightsaber for his arm.”

They laugh together. Tendrils of nerves are still spreading in Steve’s chest but there is no going back now. He would not want to anyway.

#stonyweek #fanfiction #stony #steve rogers #tony stark #fake dating #bucky barnes #getting together #idiots in love #no powers au #did i mention that they're idiots #ao3 #my writing #avengers

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