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questionsonislam · 1 year

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Which child has to look after his/her parents, the son or the daughter?

Every child is responsible for looking after their parents who are in need based on their own state.

Islam gives great importance to the rights of parents and regards them holy. It is accepted in Islam that one of the ways to Paradise is based on the consent of the parents.

Islam orders children to show respect to their parents and to serve them. As a matter of fact, the following is stated in the Quran regarding the issue:

“Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor.“ (al-Isra, 17/23)

Therefore, children must always be under the command and at the service of their parents.

However, the respect and service of a child to his parents must not harm his Islamic life. That is, he can meet their needs without violating Islamic principles. As a matter of fact, during the era of the Prophet (pbuh), the parents of many Companions did not embrace Islam in the first days of Islam; they insisted on polytheism, which is opposite of Islam. They pressurized their children and wanted them to abandon Islam.

The Companions were ordered by the revelation that was sent down no to obey their orders that were contrary to Islam but they were ordered not to leave their parents altogether. They were ordered to serve them as much as possible and to try to win their hearts without obeying their orders that were contrary to Islam.

Accordingly, every child has to look after their parents and fulfill their orders and requests. However, if their orders contradict Islam, they cannot fulfill them. For instance, if one’s mother and father tell him/her to abandon Islam or to stop performing prayers, he/she cannot have to obey them; if he/she obeys them, he/she will be a sinner.

All children are responsible for looking after their parents. However, sons who are well of are obliged to look after them first. If they do not look after them, daughters will be obliged to look after them.

If parents become poor or too old to work, their care belongs to their children.

The following is stated in verses:

"Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents..." (Luqman, 31/14).

"But if they strive to make thee join in worship with Me things of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not; yet bear them company in this life with justice (and consideration)." (Luqman, 31/15)

The following is reported from Jabir b. Abdullah:

A man came to the Prophet (pbuh) with his father and said,

"O Messenger of Allah! I have some property and my father has his own property. My father wants to take my property too." The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said,

"You and your property belong to your father." (as-Sarakhsi, al-Mabsut, V, 222-229; al-Qasani, Badayius-Sanayi, IV / 30; Ibnul-Humam, Fathul Qadir, III / 349 ff.)

However, this right of property of the parents on the property of their children were interpreted as and limited to being poor and needy. For, when the verses of inheritance were sent down, the rights of parents on the property of their children that died were determined.

The conditions for parents to receive nafaqah (money for sustenance) from their children are as follows: They have to be poor. Otherwise, their needs are met from their own property. The child or grandchild to pay nafaqah must have the power to pay it. This power means to be rich enough to pay it or to be strong enough to work and earn money.

The conditions for the necessity of nafaqah for relatives are as follows:

1. The relative must be poor. This means having no money or property or not being able to work. Not being able to work might be due to being too young, too old, having a mental illness or a chronic disease. However, parents are excluded. For nafaqah is necessary for them even if they are healthy and strong. Accordingly, if the relatives except parents and spouses are well off or can work, nafaqah does not have to be paid to them. According to the view preferred by Malikis, when parents can work, they cannot demand nafaqah from their children. (al-Qasani, ibid, IV / 36, 37; Ibn Abidin, Raddul-Muhtar, II / 923; ash-Shirazi, al-Muhadhdhab, II / 167; ash-Shirbini, Mughnil-Muhtaj, III / 448; Ibn Qudama, al-Mughni, VII / 595; Ibnul-Humam, ibid, III / 347)

2. The person who is to pay nafaqah must be in a position to meet the needs of his poor relatives in terms of wealth and being able to work and earn money. However, parents and spouses are exceptions. A man has to look after his parents and his wife even if he is poor. According to Malikis, a poor man does not have to pay nafaqah to his parents even if he is strong enough to work and earn money.

The following is stated in a hadith reported by Jabir:

"If one of you is poor, let him start with himself; if there is anything left over, (let him give it) to his dependents; if there is anything left over, (let him give it) to his relatives." (Abu Dawud, Itlaq, 9; Nasai, Buyu´, 84; Ahmad b. Hanbal, III / 205).

3. The kin to be looked after must be related with blood.

According to Hanafis, the person to pay nafaqah must be a kin to the person to be paid nafaqah related with blood and a kin that can be an inheritor to him. The evidence is the following verse:

" ... No mother shall be treated unfairly on account of her child. Nor father on account of his child, an heir shall be chargeable in the same way..." (al-Baqara, 2/233)

According to that verse, some rights and responsibilities between parents and children are also valid between them and other inheritors. This includes money for sustenance when it is necessary.

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championthechildrenofsyria · 7 years

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What I want for every child of Syria: Donors hear directly from youth and children affected by the Syrian crisis

24 – 25 January 2017

As advertised in NLG’s inaugural newsletter, UNICEF hosted an event on 23 January at the Scandic Marina Congress center in Helsinki to raise the voices of children affected by the Syrian humanitarian crisis. Titled, What I want for every child of Syria, the event showcased photos from Turkey, Jordan and Lebanon of Syrian refugee and host community children and young people who are benefiting from the EU Regional Trust Fund in Response to the Syrian crisis (the Madad Fund). Video clips and ‘Tiny Stories’ written by children from the region were shown to hear directly from the children about their dreams and hopes for the future.

It was an advocacy and networking moment which provided the Finnish audience as well as donors and humanitarians convened for a conference on the Syria crisis a glimpse into the lives and aspirations of children and young people from Syria and the region and how the global community can best support them. Speakers included UNICEF Regional Director, Geert Cappelaere, who thanked host communities, partners and donors such as the EU for their humanitarian support for children affected by the Syrian crisis through education, protection against harm and giving them a say in their futures. Syrian Humam Alasaad, from Palmyra, spoke about his dream of having his 16-year-old brother in Turkey return to full time school, while Elina Kalkku, the Under-Secretary of State at the Finnish Ministry for Foreign Affairs, spoke about the importance of ensuring that war does not give way to a lost generation. The event was covered on the evening news by the biggest commercial TV-Station in Finland, MTV.

During a conference on Supporting Syria and the Region on 24 and 25 January co-hosted by Finland and the UN in Helsinki, the No Lost Generation Initiative ran a High Level Panel, chaired by Marit Berger Røsland, State Secretary for Norway’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs, and moderated by UNICEF’s Regional Director for MENA, Geert Cappelaere. Five panelists, including two young Syrians, addressed the question:

How can we secure the protection, education and participation of the current generation to realise their full potential and enable them to contribute meaningfully in their communities and to Syria’s future in the next two to four years?

The key points to emerge from the panel were:

Children and youth face unacceptable levels of violence every day inside Syria. Parties to the conflict and those with influence over them must end this conflict, and in the meantime ensure the cessation of all violations of children’s rights as an urgent priority, in particular attacks on education. All states should immediately sign and implement the Safe Schools Declaration.

Safety in families and communities and inside schools, as well as access to documentation, legal residency and freedom of movement are priorities in their own right both inside Syria and in neighbouring countries; and they are also essential to securing education outcomes.

All children from Syria must have access to quality education, in line with London commitments. This requires scaled up, multi-sector support for children and families to convert the policy shifts made by refugee hosting countries into access to school for children. Families living in dire poverty require financial support through social protection systems to avoid negative coping mechanisms such as child marriage and child labour, and keep children in school. Ensuring pathways back into school for those who have dropped out, and recognition of school certificates are urgent priorities. Children who have experienced trauma need extra support to learn and heal.

Young people affected by this crisis are our largest untapped resource. It is essential that they are provided with opportunities to play an active role in their future, families, communities and society. Higher education and pathways to employment are important means to help achieve this. The international community must also make room for youth to engage in its support to the Syria crisis, including in all post-conflict planning. In this vein we should establish a process whereby Syrian youth help set the agenda and steer the conversations in the forthcoming Brussels conference on Syria.

Quotes from panelists:

Youth need to be given a chance to think and lead for the future of Syria … I believe that we can rebuild Syria better than before. —Humam Alasaad, Field Assistant with Mercy Corps in Greece

Thousands have lost their families, they lost their chance to continue their education to reach their ambition and many are married in age of childhood. I am here to make their voices heard. —Magi, a female volunteer in a local NGO inside Syria

It is hard to imagine a more important item on our agenda than ensuring the safety, education and wellbeing of the children and young people who are the future of Syria and the region. We must keep this topic at the top of the agenda in all relevant forums, including the Brussels pledging conference and other forthcoming events. —Marit Berger Røsland, State Secretary, Norway

When children are facing violence or working to support their families, they can’t learn. We need to invest in child protection systems to get the education outcomes these children need. —Lama Yazbeck, CEO, Lebanese NGO Himaya

With the Syria crisis the whole world is undergoing an exam. Education must be our first priority for the Syrian refugees. —Ercan Demirci, Deputy Undersecretary, Ministry of National Education, Turkey

The Syria crisis is forcing us to innovate, and to take risks in order to reach the most vulnerable communities… Without the courage of our staff there would be no education in places like Aleppo and Latakia —Pierre Krähenbühl, Commissioner General, UNRWA

When I hear the testimony of the young people here today, and the stories from those who work with children, I see that there is no lost generation. —Geert Cappelaere, Regional Director MENA, UNICEF

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