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#Humor
badjokesbyjeff · 6 hours ago
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My parrot died today…
His last words were
“Fuck, I think my parrot is about to die”
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humanismo-nostalgico · 19 hours ago
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Yo, cada año que cumplo un año. Jaja.
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funnypicsdept · 23 hours ago
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Funny Pics & Memes
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badjokesbyjeff · 3 hours ago
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I proudly showed my son, "Check this out! Bought a new shrub trimmer today!" He shrugged and replied, "That's great, dad." I continued...
"It’s cutting hedge technology!"
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fangirlingpuggle · 20 hours ago
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Very dumb transformers seasons crossover idea, just prime and G1 Autobot and Decepticons landing in TFA verse.
G1/Prime Autobots: we’re looking for the leader of the autobots of this universe
TFA Team prime: Oh Ultra Magnus isn’t here
G1/Prime Autobots: Umm no we’re looking for Optimus Prime.
TFA Team Prime:...wha
G1/Prime Autobots: Optimus Prime leader of the autobots
TFA Team Prime:...
TFA Sentinel: WHAT???
Just the chaos of the this TFA Optimus having a freak out because ‘ HE’S THE LEADER? HIM LEADER OF THE AUTOBOTS!! WHAT? Also all the other autobots in G1 and Prime having to stop from laughing and making a big dela because HOLY SHIT LOOK OPTIMUS IS TINY!! OH PRIMUS HE’S TINY I NEED TO TAKE A PICTURE
Also after 1 meeting of Primes talking and getting into their history with Megatron and Optimus is just sitting there like...this doesn’t sound like a rivalry thing that sounds like and they and their Megatrons...
TFA Optimus:I’m sorry...but that sounds a lot like you...you both...
Prime Optimus:...
G1 Optimus:...
TFA Optimus:oh *internal screaming*
In the Decepticon base the exact same thing is happening with the 3 Megatrons.
Bonus: There ending up being a fight between the different versions of Megatron over whose Optimus is the best, and dissolves into a full on fist fight.
Bonus Bonus:...The same thing happens with the 3 Optimus’s when they start talking about Megatron but it’s not a fist fight just a talk where everyone listening is just there like ‘...is this a fight? I can’t tell if their fighting they’re all being so polite’
Bonus x3: The 3 Starscreams trying to team up to take over all their version of the Decepticons...but keep double crossing each other.
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otherworld2 · 12 hours ago
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When someone is asking me, “when are you happy?” I’m answering “when I’m alone”, they are saying “why? Be alone is boring” but, NO.
I’m having so much fun, when I’m alone. Like, I’m studying, reading, making everything I want and taking care of myself. No one will say, what I have to do.
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funnypicsdept · 20 hours ago
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Funny Pics & Memes
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Trying to explain the chronic part of chronic illness to people...
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“Wait, so you’re sick...and you aren’t dying....but you aren’t getting better either?  Huh?”
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badjokesbyjeff · 4 hours ago
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It was a dark and rainy night…..
Our hero’s car had broken down right in front of an old looking mansion.
After knocking, an old Chinese man came to the door. “ I was wondering if it’s at all possible you might have a room for me for the night. I will be out of your hair the next morning and on my way to the service station.”
The old Chinese man says, “ I am honored to extend my hospitality to you, but be warned, my 22-year-old daughter is staying with me. She is young, impetuous, wild, and she is strictly off-limits. Any man who violates her honor will have the three Chinese torture tests administered to him.”
Giving his word and just wanting a warm bed, the man is shown up to his room on the second floor. After getting settled down, there’s a knock at the door. Upon opening, the Beautiful 22-year-old daughter steps in the doorway. “ Is there anything I can get you?” She says with a mischievous grin, loosening her robe.
He decides, “What the hell, I’ll take on any torture test for a night with this fox” and he enjoys himself thoroughly………
The next morning, he wakes up alone and notices that it’s a bit tough to breathe. Opening his eyes, he sees a large stone on his chest with a sign that reads:
“1st Chinese torture test - 30 pound stone on chest.”
Snorting in derision and thinking if this is the type of BS the old man was talking about then it was totally worth it, he carries the stone to the window to toss it out. After he does, he notices another sign hanging outside the window from the roof that reads:
“2nd Chinese torture test- left testicle tied to 30 pound stone.
Looking around, he realizes he only has a few seconds before the string is going to get…….tightened. Thinking quickly, he decides to just jump out the window. “No problem, I can untie the string when I hit the ground” he thinks.
His blood runs cold however, when he sees the third sign on the side of the house on the way down that reads:
3rd Chinese torture test- right testicle tied to bedpost.
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Yall be like, “let fem gnc men date women” and then go make fun of shawn mendez.
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funnypicsdept · 13 hours ago
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Funny Pics & Memes
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