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timetoletmyimaginationfly · 5 months

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My Comfort

Nanami Kento x Reader

Photo Credit: Marilou

(Song Inspiration: Blames on me by Alexander Stewart)

“Kento-kun! Welcome home!” you greeted happily. Nanami sighed. It was another long day at work. He loosened his tie and rolled his sleeves halfway. You walked up to him and kissed him softly on the lips. You looked at his condition. His beige jacket was dirty and slightly torn. Cursed spirits blood was splattered on his clothing. His face was dirty and you noticed a small cut on his face.

“Do I look that bad?” he asked curiously with a raised eyebrow. You giggled and shook your head.

“Go shower, I’ll keep dinner warm,” you said. “I’ll pick out your pajamas too.” Nanami smiled. But once you turned around, he frowned. Today was bad. A young sorcerer was killed. All because he couldn’t make it on time to the scene. He wonders if he’s even worth it as a sorcerer.

The burden grew heavier and heavier. As months passed, you noticed how distant he was becoming. It worried you.

“Kento-kun, I made your favorite,” you said. Nanami nodded as he took his shoes off.

“How was work?” he asked when he entered the kitchen.

“It was good,” you answered. “I might get this promotion.” Nanami couldn’t help but smile. You were perfect. You were the perfect girlfriend. You worked full time at a well known company and worked your ass off to be the best. And outside of work, you always made sure the apartment was clean and dinner was out on the table. You were more than he could ever ask for. He felt that you deserve better. And the thought of it hurt.

“Do-Do I do well?” he asked. You were caught off guard with his question. You wondered what he meant by that question. Since you were quiet for a while, Nanami just sighed and walked past you. However, you held on tightly to his wrist.

“Kento-kun,” you called. He could’ve just ignored you, but he could never ignore you. Even when he was distant, he still can’t bear to spend a second without you. His heart was racing when you gave him a smile. “You never talk to me about work. But I bet you always do the best that you can. I know that you always do your best.” He smiled, spirits feeling a bit uplifted.

“Thank you, darling,” he said. He walked closer to you and cupped your face. He stared at you, the face that he loves to look at. You were beautiful in his eyes. He kissed you passionately. You melted and wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing him back. “I love you. I love you so much, darling.”

“I love you too, honey,” you said. The two of you stood there, foreheads resting on each other. “When things go down and when it gets tough, just know that I’m always here cheering you on. Supporting every decision you make.”

“Even…Even if…” The topic of possible death came up every now and then. Both of you hated it. And when it gets brought up, you have a hard time falling asleep at night. Scenarios would constantly play in your mind throughout the night. Nanami would wake up the next morning to see you with tear stains down your cheeks.

“Even if you have to risk your life,” you said as tears formed in your eyes. “I’ll still support your decision even if I don’t like it.” You couldn’t help but cry in his chest. Nanami hugged you tightly. “I missed you. We haven’t spoken like this for a while.” Nanami felt so much guilt. He didn’t mean to do this to you. “I thought—I’m sorry.”

“You wanted to leave me?” he asked.

“It’s-It’s not that but…” Nanami pulled away. He bent down to your height and cupped your face to wipe your tears away. You held his wrists tightly. “God I’m horrible.”

“No,” he said. “You’re perfect. I’m the one that’s horrible. I’m the one who can’t even make it to the scene on time that caused a young sorcerer to die. I’m the one who can’t be strong enough to prevent another young one from massive injuries. I’m the one that’s weak.” You watched tears flow down his eyes. This time, you cupped his face and wiped his tears away. “I thought of the same thing. Because you deserve someone so much better.” You shook your head.

“You’re perfect, Kento,” you said. “You’re not weak. You’re strong. I can never imagine being in your shoes. You come home with your head held up high. You work so hard to become strong. You still come home taking care of me even when I tell you that I’m okay. You deserve more than me.” Nanami pulled you in for a tight hug.

“No, I only need you,” he said softly. “Only you. Tell me that I’m great again.” You smiled.

“You’re not just great, Kento-kun. You are amazing. You are strong. You are brave. You are wonderful.” Your words alone helped Nanami let the tears out that he’s been holding in for months. You couldn’t help but feel the pain that he must be feeling. You hugged him as tight as he held you. You kept him in your arms for as long as he needed it.

“Thank you, darling.”

“Anything for you, Kento-kun.” After a while longer, Nanami pulled away from the hug and gave you soft kisses all over your face.

“You’ll still love me if I stop being a sorcerer again?”

“Silly, I fell in love with you before I knew you were one,” you said with a giggle. The two of you wiped away each other's tears and smiled. “I want you to do the things that make you happy. Things that make you feel complete. Remember, I’m always here to support you. I promise you that.” Nanami nodded.

“Thank you again.”

“You’re welcome. What do you wanna do?”

“Shower with me and then eat dinner with me. Don’t leave my side for the rest of the evening.”

“And the weekend?” Nanami chuckled. He knew you missed him as much as he missed you.

“For the rest of my life,” he said before giving you another heated kiss.

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manforsale · 8 months

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she desti on my el til I always wondered ever since I took that burden, that curse, I wondered what it could be? What my true happiness could even look like. I never found an answer because the one thing I want... It's something I know I can't have. But I think I know... I think I know now. Happiness isn't in the having, it's in just being. It's in just saying it.

#inspired by sunforgrace #billy.speaks #spn #destiel

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thebadboyfanclub · 1 year

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My Turn (Daemon x Reader)

This gave a refreshing note of a “what if” and I haven’t written angst in a while so I hope you enjoy it as much as I did

“Hightower women are cursed with the burden of being second wives”

Such a vile statement that the people at court would whisper for queen Alicent and her sister (y/n). When Alicent married king Viserys no one was aware of how heavy it sunk in little Alicents heart. (y/n) idolised her older sister since she never met their mother.

Alicent had already given birth two children and (y/n) remained a maiden, she did not mind if she was honest, the entire concept of wedlock terrified her, her hopeless romantic side yearned for a knight in shinning armour that would sweep her off her feet, however she did not allow herself to foolishly dream of such a future seriously.

“I come with wonderful news”

“You are with child again?”

“No, you are to marry”

“What? No”

“Yes sister, it has been long overdue, besides your lord husband is quite eligible”

“Care to share the name?”

“Daemon Targaryen”

Daemon had never been cruel to (y/n), he was fair enough to understand this was not her fault, on the contrary he acknowledged the effort she put everyday to make their marriage work, always greeting him with a kind smile, listening with the deepest intention, asking about his interests and yet he still could not… love her, it was odd still it was the truth, he turned cold against her, respected her but kept her at arms length, she was a good companion to him that were bind by wedlock and nothing more.

He tried, he really did try to deny Rhaenyra, after the brothel incident he attempted to cut the cord with his beautiful niece, but how could someone turn his back to such a woman that is Rhaenyra? She had bewitched him, wrapped his free will around her pretty little finger, the two dragons held a bright fire that was meant to burn side by side.

(Y/n) was the complete opposite of Rhaenyra, a meek and frail character, a pious girl that was lost within her religion, a septa was always by her side, though she was also kind, gracious, charitable.

“Do I repulse you that much?”

“What?”

“You can barely look me in the eye, I-I do not know what it is that makes you hate me so much”

“I do not hate you (y/n)-“

“Then why are you so cruel to me?”

Her voice broke as she questioned her husband, it had been Aegons nameday and (y/n) had more than one glass of wine, truth serum took over her brain as she walked in her husbands chamber to drill him.

Tears ran down her cheeks while her chin quivered, Daemon did not know how to answer her, he felt guilt pang his chest, she had been a dutiful wife, a loyal woman, however affection was not something that came naturally to him when it came to his wife.

“My dear wife”

He whispered to her, his voice softer than usual. Daemon reached for her, cupping her soft cheeks and her wiped away her tears with his thumbs, the bronze Bitch had never made it so difficult to be his usual unfriendly self, (y/n) made him fight with his own self and morals.

“I just- I wanted us to be happy”

She managed to confess between her sniffles, under the candle light she looked so wonderful, her nightgown let her shoulders, arms and chest bare, he had forgotten what her figure looked like since their wedding, she was pretty, desirable even.

Daemon might not have been the best lord husband, albeit he gifted her with the biggest love she could ever ask for, the love of a child. That night (y/n) caressed her stomach, deep inside she could feel her little dragon, the babe found refuge in her belly after their coupling.

Daemon had held his first born true son in his arms he felt the connection, however he recognised that on that morrow (y/n) became a mother for the first time, Daemon did not.

He had been decent, secretive with his affair with Rhaenyra, he owed (y/n) that much to allow her to walk around the castle with some decency, especially his two children, Baelon and Alyssa to be free of those whispers about their father.

“Why the frown sweet Aemond?”

“Everyone arrived with their dragons”

“Except of you and Alyssa”

“Everyone thinks I am a failure”

“do you think Alyssa is a failure?”

“No, Alyssa is kind and beautiful and funny-”

“And without a dragon, you know the greatest woman I have ever met does not ride a dragon”

“Who?”

“Your mother and yet look at her, the clement queen and the most elegant of them all”

As Aemond looked down at his shoes (y/n) took it upon herself to wrap her one arm around him and kiss the top of the princes head in endearment, she had witnessed how cruel Rhaenyras children were with their jokes, the pig incident had been the worst, Alyssa cried for two morrows from embarrassment.

“The gods work in mysterious ways, they take and then give back in ten fold, be patient, have faith and you shall be rewarded, also Baelon will take you for a ride on grey ghost, does that sound fun?”

“Really?”

“It is a sin to lie”

To see Aemonds face light up and ran to his nephew Baelon with excitement made (y/n)s day, she just remained still and allowed the scene of Aemond and Baelon talk about grey ghost.

“Thank you for that sweet sister”

Alicent approached her sister, as the ladies stood side by side the dress (y/n) was wearing was almost identical, the Hightower green stood out in between the Targaryen reds and blacks, (y/n) smiled at her older sister before she allowed her hand to brush against the queens upper arm for comfort.

“No reason to thank me, at the end of the day we only have family to lean on”

“Depends on what family are you referring, we are surviving between dragons you know”

“Alicent-“

“Where is your lord husband (y/n)? Oh that is right, I see him now, talking with Rhaenyra once again as he has her son in his arms. It is particularly odd, I have never seen him this affectionate with Baelon nor Alyssa”

Daemon and Rhaenyra had always been close, ever since she could remember Daemon had a soft spot for Rhaenyra, if she was honest they were times that she felt like there was a silent competition between her and the Targaryen princess.

As a woman and a wife it was considerably painful, as a mother she could not allow her emotions to poison their two children. (Y/n) had a eyes and a brain, it did not require more than that to identify the tenderness Daemon used around Rhaenyra, howbeit she swallowed the lump and her pride, shaking her head slightly to rid herself from all the thoughts.

“Such a observant lady you are, you know I could also say the same for your children, his grace has never been affectionate with either of the children you brought in this life, at least one thing I can say for myself is that my lord husband has never called me by his late wife’s name”

It was low blow, a punch in the gut and a dirty way to play but (y/n) had lost control, Alicent was her family, her confidant, she could not just listen to her sister spew such accusations for the father of her children.

(Y/n) felt suffocated, like Alicent had stolen all the air from her lungs, she did not spare a look to the queen as she stepped away from her to approach her youngest daughter Alyssa who was sitting on the floor by Heleanas side.

“My lovely lady bugs, it is getting quite late, why don’t we go inside?”

“Mother Heleana found a scorpion”

“Careful now Heleana, scorpions are known for their poisonous tail”

“The sting of the green scorpion will poison the mighty red dragon”

(Y/n) listened intently to her nieces riddles whenever she could hear them, Heleana was a kind soul and withheld a powerful gift, she was a dreamer, but this one seemed difficult to solve, dragons were Targaryens but who was the scorpion?

Alicent and (y/n) could never truly stay mad at each other, it wasn’t odd that the soldier who warned them about their children found the two ladies enjoying tea by the fire. The two had ran to their children, Aemond had been stitched up while Maelor suffered an injury across his collarbone.

“Jace? Luke! Show me, show me dearest”

“What is the meaning of this?!”

Once Daemon barged in the room with Rhaenyra he stood in front of the princess and allowed his eyes roam the room to find the corporate of the young Lucerys being wounded.

Voices erupted as Aemond, Baelon, Jace and Luke accused one another for the incident. The tired and ill king tormented by the pain of his plague could barely even talk so he resided with stomping his cane.

“Silence! All of you! What has happened on this grim day?”

“Your son has been maimed and her sons are responsible”

“It was an accident”

“Accident? The young Lucerys and Jacaerys managed to harm both prince Baelon and Aemond with their blade, they meant to kill not to tease”

(Y/n) chimed in fiercely, to see the blood of her first born stain his clothes as one of the maesters stitched him up and her nephew lose an eye, the tragedy stirred up a fire in (y/n)s heart.

“I am certain the princes can explain why they acted out like this”

(Y/n) scoffed at the words of her husband, there their son stood being the receiver of an attempted assassination and he still had the audacity to defend Rhaenyras children.

“Vile insults were thrown to my sons, they merely defended themselves”

“Defend? Correct me if I am wrong princess, wasn’t it your sons that pulled the most ridiculous and humiliating prank on dear Aemond?, it is they who chased down my son and Aemond to act like bullies in the middle of the night”

“(Y/n) do not allow your temper to take over, our son accused the future heir of illegitimacy, a treacherous crime”

“He is our son Daemon, in case you have forgotten, how can a father be so cruel to his first born?”

(Y/n)s voice broke when she drilled Daemon. She had done everything she could to keep their family together, to appear as a living couple and spare their children from the pain of being the second best, she covered her ears when her father and sister would ask questions about how close of a relationship Daemon had with Rhaenyra.

Now, when it was the time that he must stand up for their children, he was against them, he called their son “treacherous”, she was baffled at the emotions she was experiencing, her chest felt heavy from the fury and unfairness she was being treated with.

“Who spoke these lies to you prince Baelon?”

The king questioned. (Y/n) was known for her pacifist acts, she desperately searched for the good in people, nonetheless her son is being accused of treachery after he has been attacked, he was still being stitched when the king questioned him.

“It was Aegon, he said Rhaenyras children are my siblings”

The sensation (y/n) experienced was only described as a cold bucket of water was dumped on her head. The whispers had nipped her heels for so long, she could take it, on the other hand her children could not be put on that blade, Daemon had failed to protect them while he whole heartedly stood against his own wife to protect Rhaenyra.

Suddenly everything was clear, like a veil was lifted from (y/n)s eyes, Daemon had exposed them to shame and embarrassment, making a fool out of their wedlock for princess Rhaenyra.

Her eyes fell upon the blade (y/n) had gifted her husband for his nameday, a fine gift that she had requested from old town was sitting on his husbands waist band.

“Dear lord husband, do you have anything to say in your defence?”

She questioned him as she took a few steps to finally stand close enough. Daemon remained silent, not exactly sure of how to deal with this situation, he looked back on all his mishaps, on all the time he detected servants whispering while he conversant with Rhaenyra in the garden.

Daemons passion and love for her had left him exposed, he had dishonour Baelon and Alyssa that had tears pooling their eyes, waiting for their father to protect them and even defend their honour, deny everything and put their young minds to rest.

“my turn”

Was all (y/n) said before she swiftly took the dagger from Daemon and charged for the princess Rhaenyra, the princess was quick on her feet and managed to stop (y/n)s hand mid air, still the Hightower lady persisted all while grunt left her lips from the agony of embarrassment, even though Rhaenyra was defending herself she could not completely disregard (y/n)s feelings, casted aside and forced to work things out herself, however Rhaenyra always loved Daemon, it was their destiny to be together.

“It is time you pay for everything you have done”

“You have gone mad”

“Yes I have and your family is responsible for it. you have frowned upon me for so long, my husband turned his back on us every time our children needed their father, you have pointed the finger at my sister for everything that slightly inconvenienced you. We loved you, served you fiercely but we were never good enough for royalty, the dragon can only feel loved or give love to its own kind”

“As a pious woman expected you to be the selfless princess you portray yourself as, now you exposed yourself without me having to lift a finger, saint (y/n)”

It was that sentence that compelled (y/n) to give one last push with all her might, Rhaenyra shoved her away earning herself a clean cut from the blade, a few drops of blood dripped on the well polished floor and a unanimous gasp was breathed out from the people in this room.

Daemon caught Rhaenyra as she stumbled back and grabbed her arm to see the injury while (y/n) froze with her eyes almost popping from her eye socket, shocked at what she has done.

Rhaenyra spared a look to (y/n) full of questions, everyone’s breath hitched at the sight of two mothers coming to violence over words left unspoken for so long, the pain wasn’t as bad as the emotion Rhaenyra was experiencing, battling between backing herself and claiming her love for Daemon.

Rhaenyra was not as cruel as to not recognise (y/n) was caught in the crossfire, her heart tugged at the tears that started to form on her attackers eyes, the young lively girl she had once met was now an empty shell of a woman

“Mother, are you alright?”

Baelon reached his mother, concern written all over the young boys face. (Y/n) threw away the blade, disgusted about the way she acted while her children were present, her hands found the boys cheeks and placed a kiss on his forehead. Alicent and Aemond along with Alyssa came as well, surrounding (y/n) to support her, Daemon and Rhaenyra with the children on the other side, holding the princess up as her blood was shed.

Daemons heart was shattered and he could not help but feel responsible over this, Rhaenyra caught the sharp side of the blade and the bad side of his wife, his true born children betrayed by him, his love children exposed to the truth far too young, the blade did not just cut Rhaenyra, it also cut the bond between him and his true born children, all because he dared to love.

“Do not fret over me my sweet son, Hightowers are known for following tradition, sons will always come before daughters”

“Hightowers mayhaps, Baelon carries the name of Targaryens, and family comes before all”

“Exactly which family are you referring to Daemon? Yours and mine or Rhaenyras and…. Laenors?”

Requests are open!

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superhell · 6 months

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even now. three years later. i can hear it in my sleep. I always wondered, ever since I took that burden, that curse, I wondered what it could be. What my true happiness could even look like. I never found an answer. Because the one thing I want... it's something I know I can't have. But I think I know... I think I know now. Happiness isn't in the having, it's in just being. It's in just saying it. I know. I know how you see yourself, Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you. You're destructive, and you're angry, and you're broken. You're "daddy's blunt instrument." And you think that hate and anger, that's... That's what drives you, that's who you are. It's not. And everyone who knows you see it. Everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love. You raised your little brother for love. You fought for this whole world for love. That is who you are. You're the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know. You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of Hell... knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you. I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack... but I cared about the whole world because of you. You changed me, Dean. I love you. Goodbye, Dean

#destiel

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waywardseraph · 2 months

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Castiel’s death scene but make it a love confession through text message.

Castiel: I always wondered, ever since I took that burden, that curse, I’ve wondered, what it could become, what my true happiness could even look like and I never found an answer. Because the one thing I want, it’s something I know I can’t have. But I think I know… I think I know now. Happiness isn’t in the having. It’s in just being. It’s in just saying it. I know, I know how you see yourself Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you. You’re destructive, and you’re angry, and you’re broken. You’re daddy’s blunt instrument. And you think that hate and anger, that’s, that’s what drives you, that’s who you are. And it’s not. And everyone who knows you, sees it. Everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love. You raised your little brother for love, you fought for this world for love. That is who you are. You’re the most caring man on earth. You are the most selfless, loving, human being I will ever know. You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of hell, knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you. I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack, I cared about the whole world, because of you. You changed me Dean. I love you.

*Sent at 11:01pm*

*Read at 11:04pm*

*Dean is typing*

*Chat bubble disappears*

*Dean is typing*

*chat bubble disappears*

*Dean is typing*

*Castiel received a message at 11:52pm*

Dean: K.

*sobs in enochian*

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misha-69innit · 6 months

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I always wondered, ever since I took that burden, that curse, I wondered what it could be, what... what my true happiness could even look like. I never found an answer. Because the one thing I want... it's something I know I can't have. But I think I know... I think I know now. Happiness isn't in the having. It's in just being. It's in just saying it." I know. I know how you see yourself, Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you. You're destructive and you're angry and you're broken. You're... you're 'Daddy's Blunt Instrument.' And you think hate and anger, that's... that's what drives you. That's who you are. It's not. And everyone who knows you sees it. Everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love. You raised your little brother for love. You fought for this whole world for love. That is who you are. You're the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know. You know, ever since we met and ever since I pulled you out of Hell, knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you. I cared about Sam. I cared about Jack. I cared about the whole world because of you. You changed me, Dean.

#destiel #castiel #remember remember the fifth of november

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castiellesbian · 1 year

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RESOLUTIONS

I ALWAYS WONDERED

EVER SINCE I TOOK THAT BURDEN

THAT CURSE

I WONDERED WHAT IT COULD BE

WHAT MY TRUE HAPPINESS COULD EVEN LOOK LIKE

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postmodernmulticoloredcloak · 7 months

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What if. Listen to me. Like. I'm just fantasizing but bear with me

What if the scene in 15x18 had originally been longer (before censors butchered her) and was something along these lines:

CASTIEL (tearfully) I always wondered, ever since I took that burden, that curse, I wondered what it could be? What my true happiness could even look like. I never found an answer because the one thing I want... It's something I know I can't have. But I think I know... I think I know now. Happiness isn't in the having, it's in just being. It's in just saying it. DEAN What are you talking about, man? CASTIEL I know. I know how you see yourself, Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you. You're destructive, and you're angry, and you're broken. You're "daddy's blunt instrument." And you think that hate and anger, that's... That's what drives you, that's who you are. It's not. And everyone who knows you see it. Everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love. You raised your little brother for love. You fought for this whole world for love. That is who you are. You're the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know. (he smiles, crying now) You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of Hell... Knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you. I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack... I cared about the whole world because of you. (sad laugh as a tear rolls down his cheek) You changed me, Dean. DEAN (quiet, resigned) Why does this sound like a goodbye? CASTIEL Because it is. Dean inhales, ready to argue, but Castiel confesses before he can. CASTIEL I love you. (he smiles) DEAN Don't do this, Cas. CAS I want to do this. Because I love you. Dean opens his mouth, trying to say something, but nothing comes out, and just looks striken and desperate. They look at each other, a moment passes, Billie’s bangs against the door become louder, and Cas furrows his brow, and something that looks like worry starts to appear on his face. CAS (a little frantically) It’s not working, why isn’t it working? The door makes a very worrisome noise that makes it clear that Billie is almost going to smash it open. Cas looks at Dean with panic on his face now. CAS It was supposed to work! The moment I’d let the... the sun shine on my face—! Dean’s breathing shakes, and makes a desperate grimace like he’s bracing himself for the most painful thing he’s ever done. He doesn’t want to do this, but he knows it’s important for Cas. DEAN Because this isn’t about your happiness. It’s about my curse. CAS (a little taken aback) What do you mean? DEAN (He gulps, diverts his eyes from Cas, pain clearly written on his face.) It’s about my curse, Cas. It was always going to end this way, wasn’t it? Me killing you. Killing you because I love you. Cas’ eyes widen in amazed shock. DEAN (Through gritted teeth, barely holding back tears, but with a surprising softness) I love you, Cas. I— CAS (softly, as a gentle smile blooms on his face) I am happy that this is the reason I die. There's a wet noise from behind Dean and he turns to see black goo from The Empty squeezing through the bricks in the bunker's wall as a portal begins to open. They both know what this means. There are tears in Dean's eyes as he turns back to Castiel. Castiel is still smiling tearfully. The warded door busts open. Billie stands behind it with her scythe. There's no more time. DEAN Cas... Castiel puts his hand, bloodied from when he'd cut it for the warding, on Dean's shoulder. CASTIEL Goodbye, Dean.

#*mad scientist voice*#one day i will write my own season 15 and then you'll see. you'll all see #i won't because i'm lazy and busy but hey a dude can dream #spn #destiel #spn 15x18 #hire me jensen #highly better options supernatural

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ananke-xiii · 22 days

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BOOP.

#boop #spn #tumblr stuff #april fool's day #boop o meter #supernatural #the truth

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queermania · 10 months

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(last reblog made me realize something but i didn't want to add it to the post or in the tags because it's spoilery if you've only seen up to s8)

there are a lot of reasons why cas' confession is so unsatisfying to me but one of the reasons i haven't been able to articulate until now is that it kind of.... undoes everything that preceded it? cas gives voice to the thing we've all been watching play out for twelve years and that should feel like a win, it should feel like relief, because happiness isn't in the having, it's in the just being, it's in the just saying, right? but, in saying it, cas removed the being part of it from everything that happened prior. cas' speech made it feel like we haven't been watching two people who are in queer love and who are very much in a queer relationship.

instead, we've been watching a guy secretly pining for another guy who may or may not have secretly loved him back. and that... is not true to the story i've been watching unfold? that only works if i accept the premise that the writers and the actors and the directors and the crew and the editors weren't actually telling a queer love story to the best of their ability the whole time. and i don't accept that! they were telling the story!! it was on purpose!!!

like, the reason dean's confession-prayer in purgatory is satisfying is because it doesn't undo anything that came before it.

Cas? Cas, I hope you can hear me… that wherever you are, it's not too late. I should've stopped you. You're my best friend, but I just let you go. 'Cause it was easier than admitting I was wrong. I-- Ohh. I don't know why I get so angry. I just know -- I know that it's -- i-it's just always been there. And when things go bad, it just -- it comes out. And I can't -- I can't stop it. No matter how -- how bad I want to, I just can't stop it. And -- and I-I forgive you. Of course I forgive you. I'm sorry it took me so long -- I'm sorry it took me till now to say it. Cas, I'm -- I'm so sorry. Man, I hope you can hear me. I hope you can hear me. Okay.

this is dean reiterating everything we as an audience already know because we've already seen it (dean wants cas there and he regrets letting him go and there is nothing cas could do that would make dean actually give up on him). if you replace "best friend" with literally anything else that effectively means "romantic partner" this still works. it doesn't change it at all. this is dean and cas. this is destiel. this is the story i've been watching since lazarus rising. maybe even the pilot.

contrast that with 15x18, however:

I always wondered, ever since I took that burden, that curse, I wondered what it could be? What my true happiness could even look like. I never found an answer because the one thing I want... It's something I know I can't have. But I think I know... I think I know now. Happiness isn't in the having, it's in just being. It's in just saying it . . . I know. I know how you see yourself, Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you. You're destructive, and you're angry, and you're broken. You're "daddy's blunt instrument." And you think that hate and anger, that's... That's what drives you, that's who you are. It's not. And everyone who knows you see it. Everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love. You raised your little brother for love. You fought for this whole world for love. That is who you are. You're the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know. You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of Hell... Knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you. I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack... I cared about the whole world because of you. You changed me, Dean . . . I love you.

this is a different story. it changes everything. and, like, i think that was supposed to be the point, but unfortunately for me it is one of the reasons it doesn't work. why doesn't cas think he can have dean? is it simply because he thinks dean doesn't want him back?? is it because he thinks dean is straight?? like, the fact that i don't instinctively know the answer to that is a problem, and the reason i don't know the answer is because it doesn't jive with the show i've been watching for fifteen seasons. castiel's confession is the conclusion to a different show's run, one where they were actually queerbaiting the whole time and decided to throw the fans a bone at the very end.

but they weren't queerbaiting. they were writing textually queer characters with textually queer relationships.

and so a speech where cas is confessing to being in love with dean even though he thinks dean's straight doesn't really work at any point in the show's timeline for me.

and a speech where cas is confessing to being in love with dean even though he doesn't think dean loves him back in that way doesn't really work at any point past s12 for me, and even within s12 to be honest.

like, the narrative actively starts to fall apart in 13x01 if you don't take dean and cas being in love/in a relationship as a given, but even episodes like 12x10 and 12x19 imply something was already happening with them.

so. yeah.

#deancas #1518 #confession #mp

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clairenatural · 1 year

Text

What are you talking about, man?

#this is an experimet #rb this one :)#destiel

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mazeinthemiroh · 1 year

Text

can't keep away

Genre: Angst, Yeonjun x Reader, Enemies to Lovers au

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: Cursing, general toxicity, open-ended ending

Requested?: Yes

Song Rec: Teeth by 5 Seconds of Summer

Synopsis: Being Beomgyu's childhood friend isn't enough to make Yeonjun like you.

Author's Notes: Yeah this took way too long for me to doooo but we move. I have no idea what this is. It's actually a whole mess so sorry in advance. Hope you enjoy this one?? Idk???? Sorry to keep you guys waiting after such a long time. This one has less description and more dialogue in it compared to my other fics, so let me know what you think of it. And yeah, other than that, I hope you enjoy!

He's not someone you could avoid.

You were definitely, unquestionably, with most certainty, trapped. He wasn't good for you; much like poison, in fact. And there was nothing you could do about it. More importantly, there was nothing you wanted to do about it.

Beomgyu had been your friend since childhood. There are no words to explain how you two clicked. You both just... clicked. You got on like a house on fire in some cases, literally, known for being the chaotic pair in school who would always sit at the back making a mess or having practically a banquet during class. You two weren't everyone's favourite duo, that was for sure. But all that mattered was the time you spent together.

And still, to this day, Beomgyu and you were best friends. Even with him debuting in an idol group and becoming the big star that he is. You would wonder if your friendship with him would slowly dwindle, fade away as if it never existed. But he'd make a point to meet you when he could, which is something you are forever grateful for.

Through Beomgyu, you were able to meet his group, the new and famous Tomorrow x Together. Yes, through Beomgyu, you were able to meet the other members.

And through Beomgyu, you were able to meet Choi Yeonjun. And soon, life starts to turn in a different direction for you.

While you found the other member utterly delightful, it was the eldest member that seemed to take a dislike to you from the get-go. You didn't understand it, you didn't know why. And you certainly weren't going to take any shit.

"And how are you today, Yeonjun?" You said in an overly cheery voice. Of course, you were expecting him to grumble something back at you halfheartedly. That's all he would ever do.

"Yeah, good I guess," was all he replied with an uninterested, exasperated tone, as if the whole act of answering you was the biggest burden in the world. He made no effort to raise his head from his phone and clearly cat compilations on tiktok were more important than making a guest feel welcome in the dorm.

You couldn't help but roll your eyes. As the oldest member, he didn't seem particularly mature. You couldn't excuse it down to a lack of social skills because Yeonjun was the biggest social butterfly you had ever met. Seeing the way he interacted so easily with Beomgyu and the other members, or the way he shouted and laughed when talking on the phone to someone. There was no excuse for him to behave differently towards you. And so, the feeling of self-doubt bubbled and crept into the pit of your stomach.

Maybe it's me?

"Heyyyy," Beomgyu's voice sounded from behind you as he emerged from his room, "you ready to go?"

"Yep," you nodded and mustered a smile, trying to ignore the grumpy man laying on the couch opposite you, "let's go."

Beomgyu returned to the dorms at about 10 pm. Chucking his keys on the kitchen counter, he ripped his shoes off with his own feet and flung them lazily by the front door.

"You been out with them all that time?"

Yeonjun's voice sounded from the couch, and as Beomgyu walked into the living room he saw his older member's eyes fixated on the game in front of him, the handset in his hands clicking with each meticulous movement of his thumbs.

"Yeah," Beomgyu sat right next to him, turning to face him and resting his legs on Yeonjun's lap, much to his annoyance.

"Do you mind?" He whined, "your feet stink."

"Your attitude stinks," Beomgyu grinned and raised his foot so that he was blocking Yeonjun's view of the screen.

"Ahhh cut it out!" Yeonjun paused his game and wrestled with Beomgyu. He couldn't help but grin at Beomgyu's playfulness; it was something he was used to by now.

"You never learn do you," Yeonjun chuckled and threw a pillow at Beomgyu's face. Beomgyu stuck exclaimed and stuck his tongue out, and after all of this exchange, his feet still rested on Yeonjun's lap.

"You're so like Y/N," Beomgyu mused, "they always used to throw pillows at my face when I annoy them."

Well, this statement annoyed Yeonjun, and the roll of his eyes at the mention of your name made that very clear to Beomgyu.

"What?" Beomgyu poked his friend's knee with the tip of his toe, "what's your issue?"

Yeonjun stared at the screen ahead, the paused game he had been playing moments ago. What was his issue? Scanning his brain, trying to conjure up a specific moment, an experience, and interaction with you which provoked negative feelings towards you within him. But he found nothing.

"I just-" he cut himself off, face turning serious before shoving Beomgyu's feet off his lap, "I just think you spend too much time with them that's all."

"Too much time?" Beomgyu scoffed at this statement. "I haven't seen them in weeks? You go out with your friends every other night and you're criticising me?"

"They are taking your focus away from the group," Yeonjun is grabbing at straws now, racking his brain for any excuse. However, all these excuses were weak.

"Are you shitting me??" Beomgyu was actually shocked as he stood up from his seat, glaring down at Yeonjun now, "we've just had a comeback, and all everyone has been saying is how well I've improved in my performing. Are you jealous of something??"

Yeonjun didn't know what to say, and the tense feeling in his chest never lifted.

"You're just saying things now aren't you," Beomgyu shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair, "you are so petty. And that's coming from me!"

And with that he stormed off, leaving Yeonjun perplexed and exhausted by his own words. The emotions that swirled in his stomach felt so disjointed. So foreign and alien from what he was used to.

What was his issue? What was his issue with you?

Yeonjun woke up to the sound of someone else's ringtone. He had passed out on the sofa a long time ago. Shaking his head to wake up from his daze, he begrudgingly dragged himself off the sofa to see where the noise was coming from.

On the side lay Beomgyu's phone. He had gone out and must have left his phone there; this was quite a usual occurrence with him., Yeonjun shuffled over to the phone, a blanket wrapped around the top half of his body as he leaned over to see who was calling.

'Y/N ☕'

Yeonjun's eyes furrowed at the sight of your name on the screen. It was quite late and night. What could you possibly want?

Of course, a part of him wanted to just let it ring. But what if it was important? Yeonjun decided to pick up your call. Even if it was to say Beomgyu wasn't there, but nothing more. It was the only decent thing he could think of doing.

And so he picked up the phone. Lifting the device to his ear, he exhaled softly, closing his eyes.

Before he even announced it was him, you went off on a tangent.

"Hi Gyu, it's Y/N," your voice. There was a quivering in your voice that Yeonjun noticed. "I'm so sorry to call you so late but someone stole my bike and I have no way of getting home. I'm right outside the mall, you know, where the bike rack is? I'm so sorry for bothering you- I don't even know anymore I just-"

"Y/N." Yeonjun surprised himself with his much softer tone. He envisioned the tears flowing down your cheeks just by the crack of your voice, the sniffs in between your words, the hopeless tone that leaked through the phone.

"Y/N it's me, not Beomgyu," Yeonjun said steadily, "here's not here at the moment but-"

"Oh great," you breathed out, chuckling bitterly at your misfortune. "Of course it's you. What are you going to say? That I'm pathetic? Irresponsible?"

"No, I-"

"Just save it!" You snapped. He could feel the intensity of emotion through your voice, sharp and raw and afraid. "Just leave me alone."

Beep.

Lowering the phone, Yeonjun gazed at the now blank screen. You'd hung up on him.

But he knew where you were.

By the time Yeonjun arrived in his car, it was pouring with rain. Fortunately, you took solace underneath the bike shelter, shivering due to lack of a coat. He pulled up and leaned over to open the door on your side as you resentfully shuffled into the passenger seat. You avoided all eye contact, cheeks rose as you tried to settle your breathing from the terrible stress you found yourself in. Finally, you slammed the car door shut.

Yeonjun didn't accelerate, and you didn't seem to mind.

Both of you stared ahead at the rain. It was softer than before, forming pitter-patter sounds against the windscreen. It was therapeutic, seeming to lull your nerves into something close to calm.

But the tension was still there. The tense atmosphere hung heavily in the car as you both sat there in absolute silence, waiting for something to happen.

"Where's your bike then?"

"I told you," you replied, hacked off by the question alone, "it got stolen."

"How-"

"I don't want to talk about it," you grumbled and faced the steamed-up window beside you, sighing laboriously. Everything felt dreary, and soon tears welled up in your eyes once, "why do you even care anyway."

"I don't care," Yeonjun raised his voice defensively. There was a silence once more.

"I mean," it felt like nothing more could be said, and yet Yeonjun felt the need to speak, "I do care." He looked over at you with sincere eyes, pleading with you to look back at him. "I do."

You turned hesitantly

There was a moment in which all time stopped. The sound of the rain clicking against the glass ceased. The act of breathing was more laborious as your gaze collided with his. Yeonjun found his confidence in this brief connection with you.

"Why would I be here," Yeonjun whispered now, his voice dark and serious, "if I didn't care?"

There was something dangerous and delicious in those eyes of his; lulling you into what felt like a false sense of security. And suddenly you found him to be awfully handsome, all at once. It was quite overwhelming, how his features were bold and clear now as if a different light was cast upon him. At first, you thought him to be remorseful. But the twinkle in his eye betrayed him. Something sinister or deadly? Or maybe something playful and exciting? You couldn't read him, and a part of you didn't want to. But there was a part of you that did.

He intrigued you. Infuriated you. Fascinated you.

And now, you can't keep away.

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viesghoststation · 11 months

Note

Somebody is taking requests I see! (All of my favorite blogs have requests closed ) I'm in hard times, but enough of me I wanna request something obviously

Could I please have a S/O that has a personality like Elysia from Honkai Impact 3rd? If you don't know Elysia's personality very well I'm here to help!

Basic information about her: Elysia is an elegant, cheerful, and sweet lady who's described as someone who "enjoys everything". Also likes to interacting with people and is very good at it.

Sorry forgot the people with Fuyuhiko, Kazuichi and NAGITO + gundam tanaka if you could add him but I don't want to overwhelm you so take your time! :)

Take care and love yourself and love what you do bye bye~ 🦋 also eat a nice meal and drink water all the way! sorry if this to long

Fuyuhiko, Kazuichi, Nagito, and Gundham x Reader like Elysia.

Sorry this took for ever just haven't had any motivation to write but here you go. -mod shi

At first Fuyuhiko was standoff is when you met, him not being the most talkative but after getting to know each other he asks you out! and of course you say yes to this

of course Fuyuhiko shows you his gang and makes sure they all treat you with respect as they should the future wife of the future head of the Yakuza.

You and Peko get along amazingly.

After Peko decided you are not a threat and gets to know you she warms up and will tell you embarrassing things Fuyuhiko did, (but only when he's not around)

obviously your wedding was amazing and so wonderful

though you did have to be careful that no rival gangs attacked.

you two are so happy with each other, and you show Fuyuhiko so many other hobby that the two of you can do together.

At first Kazuichi was very nervous around you since your so outgoing but after time, you get him to open up

You help him get out of his shell

you also help him get over Sonia and he later realizes he has feeling for you!

of course he tries to make the most romantic date to ask you out, and it goes...

decently well

you two are dating now

you love listening to him talk about his mechanics and help him test stuff

he also loves listening to what you're interested in!

He super nervous when he asks you to marry him

You can kinda get the feeling for what's he's planning so you just try and encourage him and help him along.

of course when he does ask you say yes and both of you are happily wed.

Kazuichi and you are always so happy to be with each other.

Nagito tries to above you at first him knowing what he feels and not wanting you to get affected by his luck

you on the other hand want to help him he always seems so distant

so you keep trying to talk to him and eventually Nagito gives up and let's you in, you and him are friends

Then of course after hanging out he confesses his feeling for you

you of course say yes you love him

you always spend time with Nagito when he's in the hospital

Nagito does tell you he wants to marry you, but he doesn't want to burden you with all his problems

you of course tell him he's not a burden and you want to spend the rest of your life with him to!

so the two of you get married and it's such a happy event

Nagito loves trying new things with you, you always find ways to surprise him and it's so wonderful how you bring hope to him.

You and Gundham hit it off right when you meet he's so ready to share his love of animals

and you love showing him all that you love! he's always willing to listen to you!

He teaches you so many things about animals and how to take care of them and of course his dark arts

you also teach him lots of things about the stuff you love!

eventually Gundham asks you out! you tell him Yes! you'd love to be his girlfriend!

Gundham is very affectionate with you and you both love each other so much

you are the princess that will free him from his curse. And his Bride if you show wish and you do wish! you two love each other so much!

you always take care of each other no matter what<3

#gundham tanaka #gundham x reader #reader x gundham #fuyuhiko kuzuryu #fuyuhiko x reader #reader x fuyuhiko #kazuichi souda #kazuichi x reader #reader x kazuichi #nagito komaeda #nagito x reader #reader x nagito #reader x canon #s/o #x reader #danganronpa #danganronpa goodbye despair #🔪 mod shi #💌 request complete

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