#I AM SO FUCKING EXICITED I AM

[bamf-jaskier]

“An utterly new, secret organisation should be founded which will exclusively serve matters of magic. Which will do everything to prevent a cataclysm. For if magic were to perish, our world would perish with it. Just as happened many centuries ago, the world without magic and the progress it brings with it will be plunged into chaos and darkness; will drown in blood and barbarity. We invite the ladies present here to take part in our initiative: to actively participate in the work proposed by this secret assembly.”

The Lodge of Sorceresses, The Witcher

#I AM SO FUCKING EXICITED I AM #assire sheala and ida are not cast yet but STILL THIS THIS THIS #this is now a lodge fanpage please and thank you #morality ambiguous sorceresses fuck me UP #bless up #wonderful #give them ALL THE SCREEN TIME #the lodge #the witcher #twn #fringilla #yennefer #triss #philippa #rita #sabrina #keira #francesca

[thesoundofmadness]

trying to supress the urge to spam lyrics to taylor swift message in a bottle rn

#thze docs #he agreed to a voice chat next week and i am so fucking exicited #i mean im nervous as shit but

[btsqualityy]

this is a little angsty but I couldn't help it :(

But one thing Bri absolutely hated about her awful middle school experience, was the fact that sometimes her classmates used to steal her earphones. Bri usually can stand up for herself, she's shy but she's fierce too even if in middle school she'd still be little. But not when they take earphones from her. It happens usually at break time when the noise is so loud Bri can't help it but putting her head on her desk with her ears closed trying to reduce stimuli as much as she can. And it was usually one girl, the same one, always enjoying this little show so much. And her friends laughing along with her.

Today was of those days. Bri tries so hard to distract herself from all of that noise.

"One hour and I'm home with mama daddy and oppas, one hour and i'm home... just one hour.."

Her train of thought is interrupted this time but a yell.

"Yah, Suna-ssi!!! Give her those fucking earphones back!!" another girl has stood up for her! Bri couldn't believe it! She raises her head just a little bit to see one of her classmates standing up and going to that girl

"And why should I?" Suna laughs "we're having fun, right? It's just earphones by the way"

"It's not just earphones!!" This girl yells right in the face, and the class goes completely silent "she needs them because she has s-e-n-so-r-y issues, you know this world dumbass?! Or you're just too dumb to understand what are we saying uh?!" This makes Suna go red, mainly because some of their classmates were laughing at her know.

"Why are you so defensive of her?!" She asks yelling even louder "Are you guys a couple?" And the class bursts out laughing

"Yes, we are" this girls faked. Bri giggles despite the situation and wipes her tears "and now, if you don't want your little stupid head smashed on your stupid desk, you better give Brielle her earphones"

Suna huffs and gives them back before going to the bathroom to fix her hair with her groups of loyal friends. It's finally over.

"Hey" the girl bends down to look at bri in her eyes "you okay?"

Bri nods gratefully as she puts her earphones on "I am now, thanks Hana. For everything"

"Nah, don't mention it. Those are life savers by the way! I use them too!"

"You do? Why?" Brielle looks at her in shock

"Because who wants to hear the teachers' bullishit? Not me, thanks" Hana laughs "and I don't give a fuck about being suspended."

"Is that why you ignore the drees code and go to school in crocs and pajama?"

Hana laughs and nods "shall we go to have lunch? I'm starving!" Bri smiles exicited and follows her.

As soon as she gets home, Carson's heart literally bursts when his daughter runs up to him with the biggest smile ever.

"Daddy! Daddy! I made a friend today!"

Even though it’d hurt her feelings to have someone bullying her, it would mean the world to her that Hana stood up for her 😌

#teenage brielle

[kizhen]

21 years

so its my birthday guys!(i know nobody is reading this shit but its just for the hype i am building for myself)

so finally 21 years without a fucking job and don't know what to do in the life don't even know what I like ,I am not saying I wanna figure out every single thing but....even small small things should be possible right.

anyway not like i am really sad or anything just it feels different not even feeling sad every birthday used to be so exiciting go to school next day even in college giving parties to frnds and all that now since i am final year in college and not having a job yet feels very awkward to have fun ,yea thats all i wanna say maybe more but nothing is coming to mind ,might even start to cry if this goes on .lmaof GOOD NIGHT yall.

#birthday #21+

[beccacomdoisc]

Oh my fucking goodness!!!! This episode was so into Raphael and Woori's romance, but I feel like they did it too late, i mean this drama only has 14 episodes, they should've killed Michael in the 4th episode all ready, cause i am like, thinking that the relationship between Woori and Raphael was too fast, but trying to think that Jane loved Michael and Raphael in different ways for Raphari (Raphael + Woori) to sound natural, even tho I shipp them so hard!

I so exicited for tomorrow's episode, my god the ex wife is really gonna try to make Woori abort the baby, that woman is so nasty, fuck! And Michael maybe will die the next episodes ou get into a comma or something, AAAAAAAAAAAAA I AM SO EXCITED!!!!!

#kdrama #korean drama #shin dong wook #woori the virgin #bang sung hoon #actor sung hoon #jane the virgem remake #oh damn #this episode is fire

[mindninjax]

I will have Toni Morrison, Marvin Gaye, and Zora Neale Hurston references in my Levi coffee shop fic.

You know what that’s called?

✨Black Excellence✨

#also know as self indulgence #yeet #marquie speaks #I am SO FUCKING EXICITED TO FINISH THIS FIC YALL #black is beautiful

[kitashimei-chan]

Love with a robot

WARNING:Boy x boy,Cursing,some sad scenes,cringe,18+ scenes,pic are not my mine credit to the rightful owner

Pov-your micheal and Ennard is super jealous of your friend Mason,you were hanging with him all week and didnt relize that Ennard was getting jealous,and you had to find a way to make him happy again,and you know exactly what he wants you to do.

Enjoy;)

You were with ennard at home watching tv when suddenly your phone rang,you picked it up and saw it was an unknown number,you answered it and heard a familiar voice

???-Hello?can i speak to micheal please?

You were so surprised,you jumped of the couch exicited leaving ennard with a confusing look

° Note from Author °

Ok so Ennard is now a human because i magically made him like that and i will be calling him Noah from now on ok back to the story.

Noah-Whats wrong Eggs?

Micheal-OMG!MASON?!

Mason was happy as well to here you on the phone and you guys began to talk and before you knew it you left Noah on the couch with a puzzled look on his face,but you didnt relize because you werent in the room,Noah let out a sigh and continued to watch tv while you were upstairs chatting and laughing with mason

Mason-So uhh wanna meet up mikey?

Micheal-ARE YOU KIDDING ME OFCOURSE!but...

Mason-but what?

Micheal-i-i dont want to leave noah here

Mason-oh...he can come i guess

Micheal-Yay thanks Mason

Mason-meet you at the park at 8:00

Micheal-ok

With that you both hanged up you told your hot-I mean you told noah😅the news and he got ready too you both left the house and went to the park to meet mason

At the park:

Mason-oh micheal your here!

Micheal ofcourse i would for you old pall!

Noah pov-Is this the person who eggs was talking to on the phone? Does he like eggs or something?Nah im overeacting

Mason-oh...is this your friend?

Micheal-not just a friend he's my boyfriend and his name is noah

Noah-hello...

Mason-hey...

Micheal-Well what first?

Noah-maybe we should get some boba-

Micheal-Maybe next time ok?

Mason-How about we go get icecream?

Micheal-Sounds good!

Noah-Well thats the first...you always love boba...now you want icecream with him...

Noah was so lost in his thoughts that you had to shout at him

Micheal-NOAH!

Noah-......

Micheal-Tch! c'mon...

You saw the look on noahs face and you felt very bad for shouting at him,but because you havent seen your friend in a long time you didn't remeber about what just happened,noah was silent all the way while you and mason were chatting

Mason-hey theres an icecream truck!

Micheal-Race you Mason!

Mason-No fair!

Before mason chased after you he glared at noah with a death stare,then he started to chase you

Noah pov-what did i do.....i was just silent....

Noah got his icecream after you and mason,Noah sat on a different bench while you sat on a bench with mason and you didnt even remember that Noah was there,Noah was silent and he didnt eat the ice cream instead he gave it to a crying kid and sat back on the bench waiting for you to say something,but you were talking to mason,while mason was giving noah a death stare ,he got annoyed with his staring

Noah pov-Fuck this shit

Micheal-Noah were are you going?

Noah-...

Noah pov-You dont even call me babe anymore...your not the eggs i used to know

Noah didn't answer you instead he stormed off not even looking back at you

Mason-dont worry mikey he'll be fine

Micheal-if you say so...

You continued talking to Mason while Noah was bubbling up with anger in his head,he strayed away for a long time penetrating on his thoughts

Noah pov-EVER SINCE THAT FUCKING BASTARD CAME EGGS STARTED TO IGNORE ME!HE KEEPS FUCKING GLARING AT ME KNOWING THAT HES MAKING ME SO MAD TO SEE HIM TOUCHING MY BOYFRIEND!......Am i jealous?Eggs even ignores what his favourite things are just for him,does....does eggs love him?am i not perfect for you eggs?DO I DESERVE TO BE HURT!YOUV'E BEEN IGNORING ME FOR THE PAST DAY YOU NEVER EVEN STOPPED TO RELIZE HOW SAD AND MAD I AM!

Noah began to cry on a bench alone letting every inch of his sadness out in one go. Meanwhile your with mason and you got worried and decided to look for him but Mason grabbed your arm

Micheal-Mason let go im going to look for Noah

Mason-he's fine mikey theres nothing to worry about-

Micheal-Thats easy for you to say because you dont have a girlfriend now let me go im going to look for noah-

Just then noah came back after rounds and rounds of crying you push off masons arm and you rush to noah but just about you were about to hug him,he pushed you off

Noah-not now..

Micheal-but...

Noah-its late we should be heading home

Micheal but i wanna stay a little longer

Noah-you do but not me

Micheal-but noah-

Noah-Are you coming or not

Micheal-I-I...

Noah-then walk home by yourself...

Micheal-...

Noah-im going home...

You watched noah walk off while you and mason were just standing there,you told Mason youd see him tommorow and ran off to catch up with noah. This continued for a week straight and it was now friday

Micheal-hey noah...want to come with me and meet mason..

Noah-no..

Micheal-babe whats wrong with you?you havent talked to me in almost a week

Noah-it's nothing go hang out with your friend..

Micheal-*sigh*

You went infront of noah and sat on his lap facing him and you could almost feel noahs hornies enter your body,Noah chuckled and you could feel his hand going in your shorts

Noah-dont do this eggs your gonna regret~

You turned him on and you know you have to along because you cant blame yourself for being so attached to mason that you completely forgot about your hot boyfriend,you ubottoned his shirt and then noah pinned you to the couch

Micheal pov-Omg hes so strong,his strength feels so good in this position

Micheal-wait before you take away my walking priviligies

Noah-hmm?~

His voice was so deep and strong you almost nosebleeded

Micheal- ♡go as hard as you can!♡~

Noah-you wish is my command~

° Note from Aythor°

Want a little sneak peek?

Yes?Jeez ya'll are nasty but here is your request and i did my best to find yall a pic okay so please dont shame(=~=)

You coudn't stop moaning through out your sex rounds with Noah,he was such a good top and he would harder everytime u called him "Daddy"

Micheal-Aaah~,mmmm~

Noah-*Chuckle*i love your moans~

Micheal-D-Don't t-t-tease m-me

Noah-look at you,enjoying it too much~

Micheal-I-I mmmmm~

Noah-i bet you never felt so good before

Micheal-Aaaaah~H-H-Harder D-Daddy~

Noah-You might regret this but as you wish

In the middle of your hardcore sex your phone rings and Mason was on it

Micheal-L-Leave it p-please

Noah-Why~

Micheal-B-Because i-i dont w-want you s-stop

Noah-aw baby~i didn't know you love me this much~

Micheal-y-you answered it didn't you

Noah-definetly

Noah answered the phone

Noah-Hello Bastard~

Mason-What do you want? Weres micheal

Noah-oh you mean eggs~

Mason-yeah where is he

Noah-he's busy~Isn't that right baby~

Micheal-y-yes daddy~♡♡♡

Mason-What the heck dude Micheals virgin-

Micheal-LISTEN HERE YOU UNGRATEFUL BASTARD IF YOUR NOT GONNA SHUT UP ILL MAKE YOU SHUT UP NOW JUST LEAVE US ALONE!

Mason-....

Noah-bye~

Noah hanged up the phone on mason and turned his eyes to you who was trimbling on his cock and you were so weak,but you felt so good

Noah-you know i love you right~

Micheal-mhmm~

Noah-your cute

Micheal-Aaaaah~Aah~

Micheal pov-i-is this what it feels like t-to have sex with a robot it feels so good

Years later Noah and Ennard had two kids named Maya(girl)Emily(girl)

Thank you all for reading sorry if it was short

Bye!

°TheEnd°

#fiction #romance #oc rp

[questionthebox]

Poets Diary

life is still very much boring, and i am resltess, in it, i don’t have parents who raised me, so i cannot like the people i grew up with, submit myself, to the mundanity, of common things, even as when i am lonely, i envy, them for haing each other in those common things, but i find life utterly boring, i do find those moments of now these new endeavors in los angeles putting my art and poetry out there, exiciting, and so one, but in a daily sense, i feel squished like a fucking bug, 

and this restless feeling, leads me to seeking out people, and things, that add more of an involvement of narrative, within life. 

i am very secretive, i could be gay, and no one would ever know it, i could have a boyfriend and be writing this right now on his laptop, 

i could be a unicorn in a realtionship with a couple who lives in studio city, 

maybe i am all these things, and my restlessness is because, 

finding identity is hard, no finding identity within a community is hard, 

finding authenticity amidst faux hipness and idiocy is hard, 

i am the economy of the unlost, 

and it makes me suicidal, it makes me hateful, it makes me all sorts of fucking things, 

that i feel like my mom did at the exact same fucking age, 

you wanna know something else, ive been a little pussy at times, in the past, 

i could’ve had the narrative i want, with this red headed, adult film actress, i kept going back and forth if i wanted to establish something with her, 

and i squandered my fucking chance, 

and i hate that about myself, 

but again it was because i had this gap of confidence for so long, because i wasn’t raised, 

you try being a kid, and raising yourself, no one teching you anything, your abandoned by people, no one taught me anything, ivehad to teach myself every fucking thing, 

every fucking thing, 

and that shit has been detrimental, because it caused depression, and acts of myself, against myself, 

so in these years

ages 25-29 

its felt like ive had to read again, as if i was fucking iliterate, and maybe i was, 

because when i entered into college, my professors loved my writing, but said it was too artistic, that i needed to learn how to write acadmically, this was in context with academic work, so i learned, 

ive had to learn, in order to not DIE, because i was left to die, 

a curly haired mixed race boy, with no family, left alone in the world, which is hostile, 

and i have seen how hostile this world is, it is very unforgiving, and navigating it is difficult, 

ive clashed with people who could’ve loved me, but really couldn’t because i had to process this out of myself, 

i think to chelsea, damn what could’ve been, but i had to process my life out of this, 

if anything, what ive realized is i don’t like superficiality, i don’t like ego, i don’t like things with no feeling, no passion, no intillegence or experience, 

and if i have experience, which is something all my friends say i have, 

i have only the experience, of being left, and going against, 

and that’s childish, 

if i am man, an adult, 

i want subsistence, i want nourishment, and health, 

i want authenticity, 

i want people who don’t block me on social media 

i want people who don’t just unfollow me, 

i want people who don’t call to drop by

they just come and we go out and do something, 

if that’s here in america 

where the fuck is it ? 

and if its not, 

give me a loan to get the fuck outta here, 

which leads me to this, ive been considering committing fraud, 

to leave this country, 

and go to Europe, 

yes Europe that not cliche is it ? 

but all my heroes have all had to go to europe to have what i want, 

James Baldwin & Henry Miller openly addmitted they were gonna die in america if they stayed here any longer, 

Miles davis, on returning to america from europe literally became sick and depressed and developed a heroin addiction, 

#poets on tumblr #writers on tumblr #my thoughts #diary #personal diary #my musings

[chronic-confessions]

Confession #5,506

My acadec competition didn’t go too bad but I got my period so when my back pain flared it was much worse then usual. It was so bad I had to fucking lay down with my coach putting our cooler next to me to elevate my legs for a two hours and I couldn’t take any pain meds she had on Bc they were the ones I’m allergic too. My interactions with my team where limited by it too so it was really upsetting but I did get to hang out with my coach while my pain was at it’s worse during lunch and she was very helpful in keeping me distracted. She even told me if I felt my pain would be unmanageable I could come to the next competition at a later time or leave earlier or not come at all since it’d be from 7 AM to 7 PM instead of four hours, which was really nice of her. But I want to desperately go to these because they’re fun even if I’m a alternate and I really love being able to hang out with everyone even if my anxiety makes me think they hate me half the time. I really hope my doc will help me Thursday. I’m starting to think I’d really benefit from being able to use a wheelchair when I’m out walking for more then a hour so I’m kinda hoping they’ll agree about me needing one for short term at least. I just, want to go and have fun. I don’t wanna feel excluded or miss out on this when I finally feel I have found a group in my school I geninuely get exicited being a part of.

#chronic-confessions #chronic illness #chronic community #spoonie #spoon theory #spoonies in school #chronic pain #Menstrual cycle #back pain #allergies #anxiety #wheelchair #Mobility aids #mobility device

[kewltie]

Somehow, in the last couple of weeks I got a slew of new people coming to my blog and hit 1k followers（○□○）. I’m beyond shocked. Like, I’m pretty sure 90% of you are bots or inactives but to those that are breathing: hello, and thanks for sticking with me! I’m stoke and humbled by your presence especially those that been with me for so long now. I may not know you personally but you know me. Maybe not very well since I’m intensely private and all I do is ramble about my accursed writing habits lmao but!!!! You’re here anyway despite everything and I’m very grateful for your constant support. 

So to welcome to new people and because I don’t I ever did any introduction post before. 

Hello, I’m kewltie. QT. Trina. That girl who keep starting shit and never finishing it a;sjdf;alsjdf;alsjdfa. I’M TRYING. Anyway, here are a few notable things about me and this blog in case you wanna make sure this is someone you wanna, ya know, stick around: 

this is my writing blog. so all you’ll see are huge block of texts from either teasers of stuff im currently working or random pieces that im in the mood for but mostly it’s just me complaining about writing sobs. 

i’m in my mid 20s and have been in fandom since i was like preteen. LJ-era, so yea im a fandom oldie. over a decade of experience here. 

since i have been through several fandom purges bc of ya know censored ship ://///  im very much YKINMK aka Your Kink Is Not My Kink but your kink is okay!!! i dont care for your problematic kinks or ships bc i have my own so yea im cool with you if you are cool with me. 

i live in socal so i come off as US-centric sometimes but im vietnamese. 

bnha is the fandom im writing and most active in but im in like a gazillion fandom. a hyperbole but kinda true?? supernatural, hannibal, voltron, harry potter, 1D, kpop, marvel, sherlock, etc. but you won’t see any of those fandom post here since i only write for ONE fandom at a time bc i cant focus on anything else /o\ lol. 

i swear a lot. like, A LOT. regularly, religiously like every twenty words out of my mouth is a fuck you. it doesn’t mean anything honestly. i just do it when im being overly emotional so when im exicited, upset, sad, etc. 

im overly emotional and sensitive w/ a truck load of anxiety and crippling self esteem.... so i dont do well interacting w/ people. mostly. i try tho!!!!! i mainly just keep to myself and stay in my corner of the fandom. i dont care for fandom drama or anything like that. i just want to read and write in peace. kthx. 

when i make a post on here it’ll mostly be in lowercase, mostly in caps, abuse the word like, and use a lot of exclamation point like 90% of the time. 

i identified as queer. and maybe demisexual/grey-ace??? idk sexuality is confusing and im still figuring it all out but i know at least im comfortable with the label queer. 

i dont write smut for personal reason. maybe one day in the future but its’ not for me right now. dont have a problem reading it but writing is impossible for me. 

i dabbled in all genres. i dont really have a specific genre/niceh i personally enjoy more than the rest or specialized in. i love fantasy, scifi, horror, romance, kinks etc etc. so you’ll find me producing just about anything. you may get trash rom com one day, epic space opera the next, fantastical tales of gods and magic after that, some dark twisted shit later, and anything really when the mood strike me. 

i write for MYSELF. everything i ever produce is bc i wanted it so i did it. so if a fic idea is terrible is only bc I HAVE TERRIBLE TASTES. 

im a very whimsical writer. i write demanding largely on my mood and whatever strike my fancy so it’s all RANDOM which also mean i procrastinate and have a long list of WIPs. i never run out of ideas so that’s the big problem sobs. 

im a voracious reader. if i have to chose b/t writing or reading, it would be reading EVERYTIME YOU ASK ME. i have a semi-secret ao3 reading account with 1k+ bookmarks across various fandoms. it’s my pride and joy!!!!!!!!!!! i love reading fanfic so much T_____T. 

i am a media junkie. i love reading comics (manhwa, manga, webtoons, manhua, etc), watch kdrama/cdramas, love nature/space docu series, tv-shows, etc etc so that leak a lot into my writing. whatever im reading/watching can have influence my reading like wanting to write a gazillion palace aus bc i can’t stop burning through chinese palace/harem dramas. 

i may not be good w/ people but i hope i come off as easy and chill bc i really am!!!! honestly im more afraid of you than you are of me so uh, hi and you’re rad and thanks so much for following me even though i dont think im worth your time lmao /o\. I DONT WANT TO DISAPPOINT YOU BUT I KNOW I WILL. uh, like i said paper thin self esteem.

#the girl #a;sjdf;asjdf I M STILL TRYIING TO FINISH THIS FIC #FUCK ME FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK #tmr i think maybe??? #it'll be done this week I SWEAR

[ladyloveandjustice]

Hanaoka returns and yes he absolutely never really wanted to go on this super extravagant trip it was totally Nikaido’s idea and he only went along with it because Nikaido was so into wanting to give him a good time, my headcanon is canon.

HANOKA’S WIFE SUPER LUCKED OUT WOW. (Does Hanoka have a separate home he goes to at night or do they live on the Nikaido estate i am wondering these things. He probably just lives close by, I guess).

I can’t really blame him for being as worried as he is too, Nikaido’s condition really is serious and his tendency to push himself beyond his limits, especially with him having a profession that routinely exhausts him, is enough to make anyone worry about leaving him on his own for too long. His nightmares (which I imagine were Nikaido just straight up dying) are not all that unlikely. Nikaido is basically his surrogate child and he loves him so much and I totally get it, Hanaoka, right there with you.

And yeah, experiencing this story for a second time, seeing Nikaido getting exicited about getting to eat junk food at Rei’s place a couple chapters back made me sad, because I knew this was probably what led to him being in such a bad state here. He was desperately seizing an opportunity to pretend to be a normal kid who can just eat some sweets while talking to his best friend, even knowing he CAN’T be that normal kid and this was likely going to have consequences later, and Rei didn’t even realize that was what was happening. 

But Hanaoka understands there will be times when Nikaido wants to go “fuck it” and just for a moment, forget about the constant self-regulating and worrying and being different and not being able to do these things. To have that feeling of just wanting to not have to think about it overwhelm everything else. He doesn’t scold him. It’s not like Nikaido doesn’t know the consequences. It’s just that anyone would feel this way and Nikaido’s been struggling so hard for so long.

And yeah, Hanaoka does explicitly mention his kidneys here, so even though nephrotic syndrome isn’t mentioned by name, anyone who looks up “kidney diseases” and sees the symptoms can realize that’s what Nikaido has. I REALLY WAS VERY STUPID for labeling it “mysterious illness” my first time liveblogging this scene.

#nev reads march comes in like a lion

[tussive]

The story behind that pin is actually funny.  I found a place that sold MD 20/20 PINs adn I was like, hey I rep MD 20/20 everyone else in my life, why not?  So I  bought one.  They send me an OE 40 PIN.  Which is cool, but not what I ordered.  So I email them like.  Yo what’s up I bought this product and you sent me the wrong wrong one.  They apologized, said to keep it for their “incontinence” and they’d have the right one shipped out to me.

So about a month goes by and I receive no pin, so I email them again.  They say oh yeah there was an inventory issue, yours will go out next week.  So next week comes and I do get a package.  All exicited thinking I finally got my MD 20/20 pin.  Rip it open and dump out the pin and it’s a fucking Mickeys 40 pin.

Which admittedly looks awesome on my WASTED beanie.  But that’s not the point.

At this point it’s been too to even find the order in eBay (or I might be dumb I’m not looking very hard) so I just outright message the seller “Yo I bought one of these and you sent me the wrong shit twice.   I want this.  I am more than willing to give you the money for it, if you can guarantee that I will get the proper product.”

#T

[citrontonic]

Broken angel part 3

________________________________________________________________

AU: Happens after Infinity War, version of that no one from Avenger died.

summary: You and Bucky Barnes have been dating couple months, but there is still many things to know about each other.

Pairing: bucky x !male reader (mute reader)

Word count: 866

warnings: angst, drinking, language (sorry Cap)

author’s note: I am very exicited about the Infinity War! ( I’m going to see it at saturday so hopely I get final part out before it). Hope you guys enjoy for this part, it’s was kinda difficult to write it.

_____________________________________________________________

Y/N’s POV

Your life was now like a very bad dream. Natasha keep telling to you how things would change, how red in your ledgers can be wipe it out, but you wasn’t sure anymore. You loved Bucky more than anything, but you couldn’t take a risk. So after that night you kept distance on him. He wasn’t happy about it, still that was only way to keep him save. You only saw him when you was training with others. After all he stopped to talking to you, that was painful. He didn’t speak or laugh when you was there. ”So what’s going on with you and Barnes?” Steve asked and looked at his best friend. You just shrugged your shoulders, you didn't want to talk about it and Steve was last person to tell about it.  ”Nothing? I can see you lying, even if you don’t talk”, he continued. You walked away leaving Cap alone, you didn’t want to continue conversation.  

”Hey Y/N/N, what’s going on?” you heard happy sounding voice  from behind. You turned around and you faced with Sam Wilson, your best friend. ”And don’t say nothing, because I can see it on your face, that everything is not fine”, he said and gave you friendly hug. ”It’s nice to see familiar face, after a long time”, Sam said smiling to you. You smiled a little bit, you was happy to see him, but you wasn’t told him that you could talk now. ”Should we go to your room? Your papers and pen are there right?” he asked. You nodded, and lead him in your room. ”So what you want to talk about? Weather? Sports? Food? I know good restaurant close by”, Sam continued to speaking.

You almost laughed to him, but you weren’t quite sure should you talk to him. Sure he could help you, after all he was a former soldier like you.  ”I have been talking to hours, it’s your turn, write down what you want, or draw something if my monologue was that bad”, he said. ”Hah, like your monologue could be ever bad”, you said finally with a grin on your face. Sam stared at you like fish on dry land. ”It’s my voice that bad, really Sammy?”, you laughed. ”W-what? You can speak? When this happened? That is amazing!” Sam almost yelled. ”Wow wow, calm down soldier, it’s not so big a deal”, you rolled your eyes. ”I’m gone like a couple of months and you start to speak and you still not tell me about it? What is really wrong Y/N?” he asked seriously.

”Do you remember when I came back to Irak?”, you asked to him. Sam nodded, of course he remembered. ”And then year later out of blue I got stabbed, in my own home”. You still feel the shivers when you think about it. ”Yeah, that was shady incident, that bastard never get caught on it”, Sam said. You noticed how his hands went to fists. ”Hey Sam easy now, it’s not time to be angry about it”, you said, calming Sam down.  ”I’m sorry, I just can’t believe how you can be so calm about it”, he said. You sighed, it wasn’t that easy, you felt yourself powerless.

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Bucky’s POV

You felt anger in your heart. You hated that you couldn’t do anything, Y/N didn’t want to talk with you. Did you do something wrong at that night? You didn’t know, so when Steve asked you about you and Y/N/N, you just said there was some problems. ”Why won’t you two just solve things out?” Steve kept asking you over and over again. ”He don’t want to talk with me”, you answered. ”How you know that?” Steve looked at you. ”I just know”, you answered to him.

After some time you started avoid Y/N, you didn’t mean to, but you wanted to give him some time.

You also started drinking at nights, you drank only to forget everything. It was today’s purpose too. Thor gave it you some Asgardian liquor, so coming night was going to be heavy. You heard talk from Y/N’s room. You were disappointed, there was somebody with him. You walked closer, you didn’t intend to listen in, but you couldn’t help yourself.

Then it hit you, you heard him talking. ”I’m not sure anymore, everything it’s just a big mess. I always hurt people who I care about”, Y/N said. ”That’s not true, you know it Y/LN”, Sam said frustration in his voice. ”You still have Barnes and me”, Sam continued. You didn’t heard what Y/N answered him, you only heard Sam. ”Why don’t you talk to him? Sure he can be pain in the ass sometimes, but after all he is good guy”. ”Because I left him, and he’ll hate me for that”, Y/N said, sounding desperate.

You walked away with broken heart. You didn't hate him, you loved him more than anybody else. Y/N could do anything and you wouldn’t hate him, even if he wanted you to hate. You came to your room, you shut the door behind you, and sat on the floor. ”I fucking miss him”, you said before you opened the bottle.

#marvel #fanfiction #Bucky Barnes #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x male reader #infinity war #au #alternate universe

[hazeldough]

starting a webcomic is so exiciting but so scary for me because while i'm really happy that i can finally put kmx out there and feel valid about it, i'm worried that i'll go into my pattern of starting something but never finishing it

kmx has been with me for about two years and i'm taking it way more seriously than my previous attempts at making a webcomic, so i'm hoping that i'm gonna finally break my bad pattern

that being said, i better hope by the time i get to the final chapters, my (interior) background game has significantly improved and i've been doing all i can to get really good at it because i am in for a fucking treat if i havent

#aj rambles #im so NERVOUS and ANXIOUS but HAPPY AND EXCITED???

[summoner-kentauris]

oh i am so fucking exicited im so excited