#I CANT BELIEVE I NEVER SAW THIS WHEN YOU SENT IT ORIGINALLY IM SO SORRY DNXNXNDNCMFMFMF

[tortilla-of-courage]

you pspspsps 'd in the wrong neighborhood lmao

AAA IM SORRY I PSPSPS'D YOU SIR PLEASE-

#i love him id let him destroy me any day #I CANT BELIEVE I NEVER SAW THIS WHEN YOU SENT IT ORIGINALLY IM SO SORRY DNXNXNDNCMFMFMF #ryssbelle #im love. he #oh i need to catch up witb your blog i think ive missed a lot #tortilla asks #tortilla queue

[neoraso]

royal guard!minho

requested | some gender neutral hc for how he starts to wish he was maybe more than just a guard to you 

to put things lightly, minho was the ace of your entire guard

like he was better than anyone …at everything

so originally he was on (your father) the king’s immediate guard

he was nothing but professional and saved the king too many times to count even from like stepping on rocks idk 

when you turned like 17 and had to do more public appearances obv u were in a lot more danger so ur father jumped at having minho reassigned to u as the head of your personal guard “nothing but the best for his child”

the first time you met him… he only nodded or said yes or no to everything u asked him n ur jus like ok not much of a talker that’s not so bad ig haha ʕʘ‿ʘʔ

he was so quiet and “polite” for months despite you constantly trying to get something out of him

ur other guards always tried not to laugh bc if only u knew he had like two friends and was generally a pretty serious guy

but one day there was a festival in your kingdom’s central city so obv you had to make an appearance which u were very excited abt bc you only get to go into town like twice a year and THIS was one of those times

being “of age” and that much closer to taking the throne you might as well have painted a big red target on your head to signal people against the throne

everything was going fine, everyone was having fun and you decided to visit some of the booths and musicians around the square

minho was already suspicious of the situation and tightens the rest of your guard without u evenn rlly noticing but like

just as you turned to show these cute little candies to minho to maybe get a reaction for once -

the second he looks at you, someone moves to grab you but the flash of a knife in his other hand causes minho to jump immediately into action

honestly who knows what rlly happened minho moved so damn fast but the next thing you know, ur in the middle of your whole guard squad

looking through the gaps of their shoulders you see minho pinning down your assailant with a blade against his neck waiting for someone to arrest him even though he rlly wanted to just execute the guy right there 

the festivities were kind of killed for u after that bc you and your family were rushed back home which u might’ve been more sad abt if u werent in so much shock :<

obv minho was the one to escort you back but like all he said was “you’re okay?” and after u dumbly nodded with wide eyes he walked with you but kept a hand around your shoulder

no one really talked after that which wasn’t unusual for him but in his mind he was rlly like 

“?? ok i know its literally my job to protect this family but?? hm whyyyy do i seem to care sm more rnnn??//?” help him sdhskjd

u just looked so shaken up and disappointed and suddenly he was like damn </3 they rlly have no fun in their life and this one time they could was ruined :///

u had to stay inside for weeks after that bc it turns out there was a whole conspiracy to “eliminate” your family line so you waited in safety until the criminals were “taken care of” 

minho had everything triple checked around the castle for your safety and secretly made sure you had extra treats and warm drinks sent to your room sometimes with little notes that he had the cook pretend to have sent because lately he’d heard you had trouble sleeping sometimes he’s shy boy aw

he started to realize how much he had gotten used to your smile and your little jokes and the way you sometimes tripped on the corners of rugs. and he thought maybe it was a good thing you guys didnt have many interactions lately because he was way too attached

you on the other hand, couldnt even rlly complain about having to stay inside so much bc you had everything you needed and- you knew it was for ur safety but- it wassss kind of suffocating at times

u tried sneaking out at first ((just to the garden!!)) which obviously was a bad idea bc it’s impossible to get past minhos fcking hawk eyes lmao

he STILL didnt say anything like he would just follow right behind you

n like u kinda huffed but whatever honestly at least it was just him and not 15 other guards like everyone acted like you needed

plus it was somewhat comforting to have someone so solid around even if he never talked smh

one night you sat near the little pond and tried to calm your mind by watching how the moonlight rippled in the water

you can feel him behind you so u just turn around and look at him ignoring how he was already looking at you

 “would you at least sit with me?”

he kind of hesitates bc …what if someone tried to come up behind you? but with the sad look on your face he cant help but give in and sits on the stone bench at the opposite end of you

it becomes actually somewhat peaceful until you just decide to ask everything you’ve been wondering n u just blurt out-

“would it kill you to talk with me once in a while? i mean, talk like a normal person and not a machine? i dont bite i promise..”

he furrows his brow bc he’s shocked you cared at all and also he doesnt rlly know how to respond without being like “its not really in my job description to make conversation” but he honestly just thought you were being talkative out of niceties.

 before he could even form a sentence you continued,

“i mean- i’m always trying to get your attention. i dont get to meet many people for obvious reasons but my guards are the closest people to me-literally, and i dont want there to be a big gap between us just because of my status..”

he cuts you off before you ramble yourself to death 

“i didn’t know you were this troubled by it… i just take my job very seriously and i dont want to risk anyone’s safety for the sake of conversation”

u almost roll ur eyes but not wanting to be rude ur just like “even at home? i know you’re serious about your duties, believe me, i just… i get lonely.”

smthing inside him literally breakkkssss when you say that like u are such a pure and sweet person that deserves to have all the love and friends and fun in the world so he just gets quiet for a second and looks down

“im sorry.” he said it so softly you almost didnt hear him “i’ll be there for you more- if thats what you need. im essentially in charge of your safety and care and i’ll do anything to fulfill that responsibility.”

ok.

well this was good right? so why did you still feel unsatisfied?

“i dont want to just be a responsibility, cant we just be like friends? or…”

you cut yourself off before talking too much again

you had to admit to yourself you had developed a bit of a liking for minho, not just because he was probably the most handsome person in your kingdom, not even just because he saved your life, but he had really been a pillar of security in your life and you respected his loyalty and ambition.

he was more than admirable and everything you wanted as a standard for your kingdom

sometimes you let your mind wander to him getting on one knee and leading alongside you..

no, now youre getting sidetracked and delusional and he can practically hear the gears turning in your head so he stands up and reaches his hand out for you to grab 

“of course you’re more than a responsibility to me, come on, lets go inside it’s getting cold.’

taking his hand and realizing the conversation was over, you moved to link arms instead  as he walked you all the way to your bedroom door 

u slept a lot better that night 

from that point on you could not get rid of minho 

like everyone was borderline uncomfortable with how jarring his change in attitude was 

like he was constantly behind you looking right over your shoulder or grabbing your arm to stop you from bumping into things

even when he wasnt technically on duty he had taken it upon himself to give you little lessons in archery and even some defensive moves to help you protect yourself in case someone wasnt fast enough to help you 

your tried not to get flustered every time he adjusted your form and the way you could feel his breath behind your ear

or the head pats when he walked you to your room at night

or his hand on your back when you guys would take walks in the garden

honestly it did not take long until one night you were sat next to your pond and after some comfortable small talk you noticed how close his face was to yours

but he noticed you didn’t pull away even as he leaned in closer and finally just kissed you

when he pulled away and saw your eyes still closed and how soft you looked his heart almost exploded

“i didnt mean to make things weird i just,, couldnt help myself, sorry”

his rushed confession pulls you out of your daze and you’re so happy (a little shocked) but you’re quick to reassure him

“it’s ok, i’ve been wanting you to do that for a while …”

he’s jus like “rlly?😳”

obviously this complicates things a lot and you aren’t really sure if you would even be allowed to have a relationship with minho bc of ur position

or if he would get in trouble for breaking the rules of attachment to u

all of this is kind of racing thru both of ur minds as you look at each other but you laugh after u both start talking at the same time

you prod him to go first so he grabs your hands and says like

“look i care about you a lot, and i know we’re not really supposed to be doing this but if i can be by your side … beyond my duties…i would really love to. but if we can’t, i can survive with just being here to protect and serve you in anyway i can”

he’s so honest and genuine and earnest it shocked u a little

even tho you were uncertain abt the situation as well you knew you had grown a little too fond and dependent on minho that you would do anything to make it work

luckily an arranged marriage was not required for you so that wasnt really the issue, but falling in love with someone not at all royal..? it was a daunting thought how the idea would be perceived 

you wouldnt have said anything if you both weren’t completely sure of your feelings;  but you really could not imagine being content or safe spending your life with anyone else so you mustered up the courage to ask the king and queen…

when you brought it up to your parents they looked pretty concerned

minho went on the whole “i’ll do anything to protect them and this kingdom” speech and your father just waved him off and was like

“i know u would …. i’ll allow it because there’s really no one better to represent the kingdom and because i want only the best for my child ;)”

u and minho were literally in shock but just quietly said thank u and left the room

when you had privacy he immediately pulled you in for a kiss (maybe several all over ur face)

you had a lot to figure out and many responsibilities but now you had an amazing person by your side to help you through it :.) <3

#im sorry this is so fuckn long #it took me so long to organize this and NOT HATE IT but hehe #lee minho #lee know scenarios #lee know imagines #stray kids lee know #lee know #stray kids scenarios #stray kids royal au #skz #skz imagines #skz scenarios #stray kids #stray kids imagines #stray kids au #lee minho scenarios #lee minho imagines #stray kids minho #minho imagines #minho scenarios

[om-headcanon]

imagine several months have passed since the exchange program, the bros are asked by diavolo to go to the human world and investigate a rumor about a demon unlawfully making humans fall into temptation. how would they react when the find out that the perpetrator was mc, who used to be human? (make it angsty and extra painful please and thank you, i lov ur headcanons)

hey!! honestly i kinda struggled trying to figure out how i should make this ~super angsty~ and i was slightly confused in how to interpret this prompt, so i hope my interpretation is satisfactory! this is such a clever prompt, thank you! (and thank you for supporting me!!)

[for this headcanon, lets assume that upon turning into a demon, its hard for mc to access memories from being human... and that their demon form isnt as human as the brothers. also i didnt know how dark you wanted it but tw for blood and death/violence descriptions!]

lucifer

with trust, diavolo sends his best companion to investigate the mystery

he studies the day before on recent locations to get an idea of where this demon might be

he leaves the house early next morning heading to the last known location of the demon

it stood as if it were searching for yet another victim to tempt, and lucifer decided to make it known of his presence

“there is no way i, lucifer, could lose to something you, so maybe itd be wise to admit youve lost”

but allowing the demon to hear his name was a mistake, as it screaming his name sent him flying an acre

the only time he has ever felt power that strong was from your pact

it became very clear to him that not only you were the corrupted demon that stood before him, but also the pact you two shared was not tainted

lucy knew he was at an unfair disadvantage, but his pride couldnt let him flea

“end me right here if you must, mc, but at least ill die fighting”

mammon

hes terrified, but since lucifer is busy, he decided to handle it for him

he sent a few of his crow familiars to investigate where the demon was last, and proceeded to go to that location

“hey, uh, i dont think its wise for ya to be tempting humans, yanno”

upon meeting, he realises theres something off... he almost feels connected to it

but he decides to ignore the feeling

until he notices the demon wearing a ring he once gave you

mammon knew you felt familiar

but he learned fairly quickly the familiarity wasnt mutual when the demon punched his chest hard enough to shatter some ribs

you didnt care enough to fight him any more, and for some reason, that hurt him more

“i thought youd be the one to never hurt me”

leviathan

originally he didnt want to go, but then he realised this could be like a video game where you kill demons but in real life

that made him quite excited

in fact, he has a game like that (not shocking) and so he believed his experience could come to use

he used methods he learned from the game

levi left a trail of common human items to lure the demon to where he was

it was quite successful but not in the way he planned, as the demon stood behind him snarling

“woaaah- ah... wait...”

he noticed the demon wearing what resembled a ruri chan friendship bracelet he made for mc

he held its hand to get a better view and ensure thats really what it was

“mc... that cant be you in there...”

the demon pulled away from him abruptly and ended up slinging levi 20 feet across the ground

he couldnt tell what hurt more... his back from the impact, or the fact he lost his only friend

satan

hes way too excited about this

he gets to be a detective AND punish the demon in question once he finds them? this is like a dream to him

it shouldnt be difficult because theres no way he could lose a fight being one of the most powerful demons

satan follows a trail of footsteps that seem to accurately match the descriptor diavolo gave him

to his surprise, the demon was already there

satan feels as if hes solved the case, but he still has to take the demon back to custody

“look, sorry but im going to have to kill you. if you want, you can cause trouble and make this more fun for me when i torture you.”

the demon turns to his direction and he sees a faded pact mark of his on skin that used to be human

“no...”

satan tried backed away but the demon managed to pierce through his stomach with its finger

hes never once shown any hostility towards you... but he now knows youre really not you anymore

and as he lay on the ground coughing up blood, he regrets showing peace

asmodeus

he really doesnt want to do this, but because asmo is capable of charming, diavolo thought hed be the best fit for this expedition

all of the reports regarding the demon making humans fall into their temptation were from the same location, so he heads there

he sits on a curb in the near vicinity waiting for any sign of movement

when he hears the sound of growls approaching, asmo puts down the majolish magazine he was reading and gets up with a smile

“wow, a fiesty one are you! we cant have you causing more damage so if youd just look into my eyes, thatd be wonderful!”

asmos smile falls when he notes how familiar those eyes are

“mc...? i- how? how did this-“

with no effort, you slash his chest with your claws and he falls onto the ground bleeding

he never could charm you, could he...

beelzebub

because of beels excessive strength, diavolo thought sending him to handle the demon would be best

he packs a good 125 snacks to take with him

he laughed to himself on the way, thinking about how the last time he willingly walked into a battle was the war

“oh-“

lost in his daydream, he ended up walking into the demon he was looking for

the smell was all too familiar, and he quickly made the connection regarding who this demon was

“mc! i missed you so much”

almost as if he forgot the circumstances, he tried to hold you in a hug

the demon reacted suddenly and aggressively, throwing beel to the ground

he would have taken more damage if he didnt offer some of his food as a peace offering

regardless, the blow to the back didnt hurt as much as his heart did watching all that was left of both his sister and you walk away forever

belphegor

the only reason he went through with investigating was to satisfy his own curiosity, not because diavolo wanted him too

he went to the human world himself to the location of the last known incident and waited

he walked around a bit before he saw a demon sleeping on the curb

one thing about belphie is he always remembers how someone looks when they sleep

“theres no way this is mc...”

belphies voice startled the demon awake and it started fighting as a result, puncturing his chest and leading him to fall to the ground

“i killed you once and ill kill you again if i have to!”

thats something he never thought hed say and his eyes water as his heart aches knowing the one he once loved stands in front of him like this

blood rushing out his heart, he decides to use his twin telepathy one last time

“goodbye, beel...”

#ahhh not my best >: #sorry this took so long! #ive been having trouble focusing #i hope that was alright? #im sorry if this isnt what you intended in your prompt!! #obey me #obey me headcanon #lucifer headcanon #belphie headcanon #mammon headcanon #beel headcanon #asmo headcanon #satan headcanon #levi headcanon

[thirsthourdemon]

Tea party headcanon

Includes: All obey me characters except solomon, and barbatos

Genre: Fluff

Tags: Fluff, Tea party theme, Pink Pastry and Pekoe Parlour! Au, general

A/N: This is a celebration cause I happen to like my new formatting. If anyone wants to be added to the taglist then just send in an ask please!

||Lucifer

-He’s actually the one that invites you and the brothers to the tea party.

-Makes sure everyone is at least properly dressed

-A mother of 7 children cause that includes you 😌

-Hates it here the moment levi said he’d wear something from some anime about a ‘demon’ butler, mammon saying that he did NOT steal the precious fine china set and beel having that look on his face that says “If I dont eat everything on the damn table, Im eating everyone else.”

-Either drink pure black coffee or chamomile

-if He drinks an ocean of chamomile but no amount of ‘calming’ tea can help save this poor stressed demon who just thought he could finally get a small break and have a lovely afternoon tea with diavolo.

-I wont be surprised if he’s even payed 200,000 grim worth of damage on the place due to his whole family

-Satan thought it was a good idea to exchange salt with sugar but he avoided this cause he...he looked into satan’s eyes while he drank his bitter black coffee with no sugar or cream.

||Mammon

-Gold laced bone china that costs about 500 grim a cup? Sold.

-He didn’t want to go but apparently he saw something that had caught his eye ❤️

-He was always invited to be the man servant at the witches’ tea parties so he kinda thought it was boring

-Did not realize how much he liked fruit teas until he came here

-Did not bother to even wear anything fancy as requested😤

-Probably tried stealing some stuff 😔

-He is on his 3rd cup of fruit tea and the orange chiffon cake but STILL denies that he liked being there.

-Chiffon cake is his thing but he will never admit that so instead he goes for regular old bread

-Defensive over paying the bill but he gives in a bit cause lucifer had to pay for the fucking stuff he stole 😤

-Was fucked with cause diavolo was actually paying and not them

||Leviathan

-Im sorry...sebastian michaelis who? I only know levi in a stuffy butler suit

-Speak like he’s talking to his masters but still trash talks mammon

-“I thumb my nose to you, unrefined scum.”

-For some reason...I cannot stress this enough...He loves...Lolita tea parties.

-Probably a Lizzie fan from Black buttler

-He strikes me as the type to drink matcha or a classic earl grey for the aesthetic but drinks bladderwack tea due to how common it is when he was at sea

-he drinks his tea in a typical lolita designed porcelain tea cup and is charmed by it so he takes 50 photos of the set for his live journalng blog.

||Satan

-A refined gentleman who wore appropriate clothing and brought a book

-He brought a little sacket or his own spice

-He usually drinks chamomile to calm down but occassionally drinks lattes but this time since it was a tea party he settled on...wait for it...

-Ethiopian spiced tea! More specifically Cardamom milk tea in the hottest temprature it can handle

-Him and asmo like their teas hot

-Satan makes me think that he goes for finger sandwiches instead of cakes or pastries.

-Has a book with him and actually his books have tea leaves in them as well because he likes the book smell with the Lapsang Souchung tea

-The ideal guest until he tried to play a prank on lucifer

||Asmodeus

-would you believe me if I told you he walked in there wearing slim dark slacks, creamy white silked dress shirt and a pastel plum ribbon tie that makes me drool?

-OF COURSE YOU WOULD IT’S ASMO 😤

-He looks gorgeous and he knows it! And every waiter/guest there is trying to get his number! 🥺

-I can see him originally drinking assam tea but he switches between that and a very specific order of butterfly pea flower tea with 1 cube of white sugar, 1 mint leaf within a minimalistic see-through tea set

-definetely a fan of berliner or a good chilled charlotte

-Indulges in conversations with simeon, solomon, barbatos and luke like the classy boys they are

-Drinking their tea like that, gossipping like mid 19th century wives in england

-probably laughs at the more energetic people

-Has the other guests at the parlour just senting him in something sweet only for their hearts to be crushed as asmo hands the sweet gifts to his sweet beloved younger brother

||Beelzebub

-You know why he’s here

-Asmo’s personal pastry trash can

-Hungry baby is eating a whole cake by himself ❤️

-Living the dream on his 4th cake btw

-Likes Cannoli sicillianis and Chou à la crème A.K.A profiterole or french cream puffs! He likes custard inside it

-He’s not very picky on his food but he does refuse to drink matcha tea without milk

-The type to be drinking something like dandelion root tea or peppermint tea

-This is the reason he can eat food faster. Please stop him. Please.

-Surprisingly even though he doesnt like matche he keeps green tea so he can gives some to belphie to help keep him awake.

-He tries to wear something nice so...Hahahaha Enjoy beel in a thick dark blue sweater

-He cant contain his cute little hair 🥺

-Uses a tea cup the same size as a mug and a dinner plate instead of a dessert plate

-Gets destracted by the pretty flowers and thinks of lilith ✨

||Belphegor

-Im sorry...Private booth with a couch please?

-He likes nuts cause they make up for his lack of serotonin and plus sleepy

-His tea is either chamomile to calm him or something like green tea to wake him up

-Only drinks green tea that beel gives cause beel knows exactly what to wake belphie up with

-He’s old fashioned he likes his tea in a some porcelain or clay though a preference is not a requirment

-Sleepy boy like private booths and resting himself on beel who’s just munching away but when he’s awake he does join the mid 19th century wives group

-Talks shit about most of the brother, except beel cause beel though a demon is still angelic.

-Has a great time there cause he’s reminded of when him and his twins were playing tea parties

-Does not dress for the occassion cause who gives a fuck

-Has told stories or at least recalled the times that lilith has made them pretend there was tea in the cup while they tried to point out that there was in fact none

||Simeon

-Polite boy that helps set up some of the servers and praises them

-ASSAM TEA YOU CANT CONVINCE ME ON THIS. He loves the taste honestly and he thinks he likes it so much more when there’s milk with it. Likes 1 cube of sugar on it and likes it bit more on the hotter side.

-Another one who enjoys sandwiches more than pastries though please dont tell luke.

-Likes the tea party so much that he wants to host one with luke so they can invite micheal and the other angels.

-Wears something nice but still a bit more appropriate.

-Probably the next host for the tea party

-does not shit talk or gossip bad stuff be he likes to join the conversations

-Adores watching luke pick flowers at the indoor garden

||Luke

-He is such a grateful person that he also brings his own sugar cookies ❤️

-He likes scones!!!! he likes em with lots of cream and blueberries

-The type to drink some sweet tea however he swears by candyleaf as the ultimate drink for him. If there’s no candy leaf though he can always go for fruit teas and something that kicks like orange blossom sponge cakes 🥺

-Dont look at me like he wouldnt play with the flowers and explore the indoor gardens while simeon calls him and he’s already back with sweet butterflies crowding him like the most adorable angel ever

-Joins the adult table cause...h-he’s...he’s old enough 🥺👉👈 (It’s really cause simeon needs to take care of him)

-He might not like devildom but he can say that the ambiance in that place wasnt absolutely breathtaking

-Wants to recreate the sweets here as well

||Diavolo

-The host of the party and is currently tending to everyone in conversation

-He thinks he should do these more often due to how successful they are in bringing everyone together

-Brought barbatos cause only barbatos can make his special tea since the ingridients are rare to fine

-His tea? Bolivia black✨his tastes are complex yes I know

-goes on board with orange food and dark chocolate. He is so exquisite, bro. An orange-scented short bread with finely tempered dark chocolate is the best thing he pairs with that black tea.

-Has a grand time trying to give luci some of his sweet shortbread but ultimately the other demon refuses 😔

-Just fucking say yes, luci. Stop being a pussy already

Taglist: @yamaguchi-stan (Special thanks to her for my knowledge in this stuff),

#Obey me lucifer x reader #obey me mammon x reader #obey me leviathan x reader #obey me beelzebub x reader #obey me belphegor x reader #obey me asmodeus x reader #obey me satan x reader #obey me: shall we date? #obey me brothers #obey me shall we date #obey me beelzebub #obey me x reader

[burnedbyshoto]

if you sent any asks (recommendations for things don’t count as I have to look around!) since october 17 until october 22 it is in here :)

anon said: The header for your askbox response post is *aesthetic*. I think it’s a really good idea to post one every few days if you have the time. ❤️

well, thANK YOUUUUU!!!!! I put in a whopping 10 minutes into it because I had no idea what I was doing! i’ll definitely be doing asks this way now though.

big dick kiri anon said: !!!!!! ILY HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY PLS HYDRATE 💙💙❤️❤️ -bigdickkiri

Omg love! Please don’t worry about kinktober just breathe! Take your time and try to relax 💙❤️- bigdickkiri

DAMN, that is a LOT. Please look after yourself and don't stress about it love!! - bigdickkiri

I'm very excited. BUT PLEASE LOOK AFTER YOURSELF, DO NOT FORCE ANY OF THIS OMG - bigdickkiri

AHH, AMAZING, TALENTED SWEETHEART, GORGEOUS LOVE, HAVE A INCREDIBLE DAY AND HYDRATE - bigdickkiri

I believe I did have a good day, and I am actually super bad at hydrating, buT ILL TRY TO GET BETTER!!!!

I am breathing!!!! JUSTTT BREATHEEEE!!! I am taking my time now and relaxing to the best of my ability :D thank you so much bdk I love you with all my soul

theres always a lot, but if im not doing a lot I dont do anything so on one hand.... it’s okay LMAO but I will continue to try and not stress :D

BDK I WOULD NEVER WANT TO MAKE YOU THINK IM FORCING THIS OUT OF MEEEE ILL TRY MY BEST TO MAKE YOU PROUD

GHSOGHJIAORGJRGIRAHG YOURE AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL, TERRIFIC, INCREDIBLE!!!!!!! YOU HYDRATE AND MAKE SURE YOU KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU

@bread-theduck​ said: We love you and support you ❤ dont push yourself, your mental health is so much more important that kinktober haha. Take all the time you need, we're right here and open if you wanna talk~

I don’t really try to push myself... it just happens subconsciously D: but thank you for the love and support!!!! my mental health is stronger than I give it credit though

anon said: listen! we all appreciate you and your writing dearly but! I think we can all agree that we want you to be okay mentally and physically before you make yourself write! kinktober can wait! you’re more important!! at the very least, pls take a break for tonight.

I honestly can’t even remember when i said I was tired, but thank you for your kind words regardless!!!! I am trying to get better at it because i don’t want to disappoint you guys D:

@saintbullet​ said: Please take care of yourself!!! DONT risk your health for writing. We care about you so much! Be careful 💕💕💕

I know I push myself a lot, and i’m really sorry for scaring you all!!!! I am trying though, and it just has a lot to do with my mental fatigue and that im judging some hard classes right now then it has to do with anything

anon said: hey it'll be alright! idk whats wrong but i promise everything will work out like its supposed to! you just take care of yourself and take as much time as you need to feel better!! we love u!! ♥️

It wAS MY PERIOD I REMEMBER NOW AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! I LOVE YOU TOOOOOOOO WITH ALL THE LOVE MY HEART POSSES!!!!!!

anon said: periods can be a pain so pls take care of yourself!! drink lots of water and rest up!!!

my period is the worst, if she was a person i’d block her and avoid her irl!!!!!!!!

anon said: Lol ok so gay for Mina anon back and no, I was not the anon who requested it. But lmao, let me take this time to whole heartedly thank that anon for quenching my thirst anyways

oh whoops, sorry for thinking you were someone else D: iM GLAD TO SEE THAT YOU WERE HAPPY WITH IT!!! READER WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A BAD GUY BUT I COULDN’T FIGURE OUT HOW TO MAKE IT WORK LMAO

anon said: I am just planning on hanging out and reading all the lovely writing that comes from this

i’m pretty sure this is about my nsfw/sfw headcanons, and honestly im sooo very excited to start working on them!!!!!!!!

anon said: you have no idea how happy I got when I saw u posted for mina like UGH MY WIFE I LOVE HER SO MUCH 🥺🥺🥺 N GIVING US GAYS AMAZING CONTENT UR AMAZING MWAH MWAH KEEP BEING THE PERFECT ANGEL U ARE 🥺🥺💞💗💖💕💓💝

AHHHHH IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT MINA IS LIKE MY FAV CLASS 1-A GIRL SO I LOVE HER SO MUCHHHHHHHHHHH YOURE AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU AND YOURE AN ANGEL!!!!!!!

many a anons said: Sorry I didn’t see the part where you said not to request characters that were already on the list I thought that was the list of character we could vote for.

so sorry I accidentally sent a character in that has already been requested, Tumblr didn't show me the follow up posts ;;

nooo I didn’t see the list I’m so sorry 😭😭😭

LOL ITS OKAYYYY. y’all were hoes and kept sending me shouto who I couldn’t even think about deleting from my list... so... you are lucky >:(

anon said: hello! not a request here but take care of yourself anc stay hydrated bb 🥰🥰

I got my water right next to me rn bby :D

anon said: be todoroki’s girlfriend

bitch I am todorokis WIFE, why would I need to dress up???

@girl-with-a-mentality​ said: You can be todoroni for Halloween.

....you right...

anon said: Thirst post infoo ;3 I found a doujinshi of Bakugo being teased and toyed with sexually with by Ochako, Yaomomo, and our lovely momma Mina

...send it

anon said: GIRLLLLLL

ANONNNNNNNNNNNNN ;)

local dumbass anon said: local dumbass is here once again, i thiink you know who i am and might've found my ig buuuuuut..?

uh.... I don’t know???????? I only followed people on insta if you gave me your handle or followed me first.... also did you cut your bangs?

anon said: Your Monoma scenario was really good!If we’re being honest, though, Monoma would literally start foaming at the mouth if he saw anyone from 1-A making physical contact with his s/o, ESPECIALLY Bakugou. They would have to call animal control because there would be a rabid Monoma in the dorms lol

okay... while you’re not wrong, I just thought 18 year old monoma should have grown up just the tiniest bit! plus his obsession is controlled because of his insecurity so LMAO IDK I JUST THOUGHT MAYBE UGH

@awkward-theaterkid​ said: I was reading your Day 19 Fic but I couldnt take it seriously, the title "My Way" kept reminding me of the Backstreet Boys "I want it that way" and it keeps popping up while I read it 😂

as someone who only heard that song because of b99 I read this and immediately thought of b99 LMAOOOOO

🍒💥anon said: URGENT PSA: LYSSA IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING AND I LOVE HER -🍒💥

Hello Queen Lyssa, I finally read "And They Were Roommates" and have absolutely no idea why I put it off so long! ITS A MASTERPIECE. Each chapter is addictive and the slow burn and angst destroyed me 😭 The smut in the final chapter is flawless and sooooooooooooooooooo H O T. Shoto wasnt even my favorite character but he might have to be now (or at least in my top 3) 😰 This is my new favorite series and I cant wait to re-read it!!!! YOURE AMAZING AND ILY. You own my soul now -🍒💥

URGENT PSA I LOVE YOU CHERRY EXPLOSION AND YOURE AMAZING :D

ATWR holds a special place in my heart uwu.... HAOGHIOSRGSIOGJSIHG THANK YOU!!!!! SHOUTO IS AN AMAZING CHARACTER WHO I LOVE WITH ALL MY HEARRTTTTTT

~ thank you to @didyoumeanme​, @kittenlordofdarkness​, @soafers​ for submitting memes and animal pics for my rommate, much appreciated :D ~

anon said: Did the local dumbass anon ever cut their bangs? Do you know?

....I dont know, but I just asked her rn >:)

this paragraph is dedicated to those surrounding to the meltdown mess that occurred yesterday. to each and every one of you who sent me kind words via my askbox or directly contacting me, thank you. I really want to move past this because I feel by holding on it will make me feel less inclined to write because of my guilt. of course, I do not expect you to forgive me, or trust me in my story of how it went down, because at the end of the day it was my mistake for trusting in someone to write with pure intentions when I didn’t know if she could. im trying to continue on with my best foot forward and im grateful for those of you who trusted in me. I swear I will never push myself again, and that I will instead take my time in order to publish my original work and only my original work and not take anything that comes from a “friend”. know that I love you all, and I dont know how to take it easy so my break lasted a whooping 10 hours, and my blog won’t discontinue until im done with bnha or...I get into medschool which is still 3 years away, I am taking care of myself, im staying hydrated, im trying not to put myself down anymore, I will keep going, & will forever continue to be more careful with what I post. also, no one was really coming for me, so don’t worry if you thought so lol. (to you 9 anons who expressed their kind thoughts to me, thank you. to big dick kiri anon thank you. to @bqkubabey​, @flayvus​, & @ultimate-shit-poster​ thank you so so much you really helped me not drown myself in my own guilt.)

anon said: i hope you’re feeling okay today :((

I am feeling a lot better. unfortuantely I did make myself really sick yesterday because ive never been as stressed in my life ever, but im okay now. there’s nothing I can do more for what happened so I will try to continue on as best as I can and I appreciate you caring... ilysm :)

@ikinabi​ said: Your writing??? Actually god sent 🥵👌 and the way you write Mirio gets me GOING

BAHAHAH NOOOOO ITS NOT PLAFUAOGHJIPRAHAR MY MIRIO PIECE YOU LIKED WAS MY FIRST PIECE ON HIM AND OOO BOY I DID NOT DO HIM JUSTICE

anon said: fuck buddy iida is a thought that has never crossed my mind but now that i’ve seen your post i am intrigued haha

well... it is up :) if you wanna check her out :)

anon said: You dont have to answer if you dont wanna but i just wanna see if your okay. I hope your end your doing well and not stressing.

i’m doing much better than I was yesterday!!! I just needed to rest and calm down and stop attacking myself. thank you for checking in!!! it means so much :,)

#ask lyssa anything #lyssa doesnt shut up #anonymous

[beforeiletgofanfiction]

Chapter 3

Drake rolled over onto his side and reached for his iPhone that was sitting on the night stand next to him in his hotel room. He hesitated before picking up the phone and searching through his contacts for a number. He found the number he was looking for and let out a deep sigh before pressing the dial button to place the call.

Drake: Hey man its drake….uh… listen I know that I’m supposed to be at the VIP room in a few hours for the party, but I think im just gonna lay low tonight. I know we were supposed to be going all the way UP tonight, but I think its best if I just lay low this weekend.

Rorrey:  Ok man…You sure? Everything good though?

Drake: Yeah, everything’s all good brother.  I’m just feeling a bit under the weather you know? That long ass flight did me in harder than I anticipated man. So we just gonna’ stay at the hotel tonight and chill.

He knew it wasn’t his place to mention to rorrey what was going on between him and his sister. It was still very fresh. Plus he figured that his sister would eventually make it known to her family that they were done for good this time.

“ Ok bro, it’s all good. We gine turn di place up for you tonight still” Rorrey said in a thick bajan accent.

Drake: More life bredda. Link soon next time we in the states.

  After he got off the phone with Rorrey, drake laid back on his king sized bed and looked up at the ceiling. He couldn’t believe that less than two hours ago he had gotten into the biggest argument of his lifetime. He was just in the happiest place he’d ever been in since he had gotten famous, and now he felt like he was at the lowest point he’s ever been in his life. Ironically enough, the same thing that brought him the greatest joy and happiness a few months back, was also the same thing currently causing him to fall into a state of depression and hopelessness: Robyn!

He tried to relax and take his mind off of what had just taken place but he couldn’t. It bothered him so much that he had to smoke two blunts to calm himself down. Never in his life had he ever reached the level of anger and stress that he’d just experienced. Now he just remained alone in a large luxury penthouse suite in Abu Dhabi. He had booked the suite months in advance with the intentions of having a romantic getaway with Rih after the last show of her tour. He was going to cover the entire suite in roses and candles, and fill up the bathtub, which was located directly in front of the huge king sized bed. It was supposed to be the night that he would ask her to move to Toronto with him. He imagined that she would say yes like the rider she is, and then they would proceed to make love for hours in the tub, just as they had done the night he asked her to be his girlfriend at the aquarium.

But that fantasy never became reality. She had broken up with him in the beginning of October over the phone while he was chilling in Toronto, and she was working on a fashion show in Paris, just because she suspected that he was cheating on her due to rumors that had been swirling around. Besides the dry happy birthday text she sent to his work phone on his birthday, they had barely spoken since then. When he arrived in Dubai he had hopes of  having a face to face conversation and potentially rekindling their fairly new relationship. He called her up when he heard that she had landed from a source at the airport.

*****FLASHBACK ******************ROBYN POV***************

Robyn: Hello?

Drake: Hey rih, it’s me.

He didn’t say his name but she knew his voice like the back of her hand. She got up out of her chair in the hotel bathroom and made her way to the living room for privacy.

“Hey….” Robyn replied coldly. This nigga got some nerve, she thought to herself.

Drake: Listen, I know we haven’t spoken in a while, and we aren’t on the best of terms right now. I just…I really want you to know that I am truly sorry for ever making you feel anything less than happy. I haven’t been able to sleep much since we split. I know it’s a stretch, but since we’re both here in Dubai, I was thinking….. that maybe we could meet up and talk.

Rih: What is there even to talk about Aubrey? I already told you that I think it’s best for the both of us that we just go our separate ways for good since we cant never seem to get on di same page.” Robyn said with annoyance in her voice. She was in the middle of getting her hair done and he was calling her with his nonsense. Sure, you could say that she still had love for him, but after she let Chris play her for a fool one too many times, she vowed to always follow her intuition when it comes to relationships. Her intuition had been telling her for months that drake was full of secrets and shit.

Drake: I understand that your mind is made up, but me and you were good friends at one point and we’ve been knowing each other for years. I just want a chance to talk things out in a calm manner. If you still don’t believe me, then we can at least have some closure.

Rih thought about it silently for a few seconds. One of the things she always regretted about leaving a relationship abruptly is not tying up loose ends. She recently met someone that she saw potential in. She hoped to put her past behind her and move on from all the pain she experienced in her life. Maybe then, would true love and happiness find her again. So she needed to stop the cycle of her and drake breaking up to make up.

Rih: “OK.” She said with defeat. You and I can meet up privately in my hotel room tomorrow. Im staying at the Atlantis. Come at night time when it’s not so many people hanging around and I will have one of my guards escort you to my suite.

“Ok. I’ll be there” Drake said with relief. He was finally going to get one last chance to make it right between the two of them. He hoped that she would see that he was being genuine.

After Rih hung up the phone with Drake she walked back into the bathroom. She told Yusef that she wanted to do curls instead of bone straight like she originally said, so he left the room to go get his curling iron from his hotel room. She knew that it was going to be very difficult trying to end things for good with drake because he was so dedicated and persistent, but at the same time it was best for the mental health and sanity of them both, because their relationship had become toxic. Tomorrow she was going to say goodbye for the last time to a man that she once saw forever with. And she was going to make damn sure she looked on point from head to toe, even though she was going to be a mess on the inside.

To be continued…………

#aubrih #drake #rihanna #drakeandrihanna #drizzy #riri #ovo #beforeiletgoff #drake fanfic #drakefanfiction #drake fanfiction #aubrihfanfic #aubrihfanfiction #rihannafanfic #rihanna fanfiction #rihannafanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic

[dulharpa]

this is for hayley! @whistlingwillows a dear friend <3333

it’s meant to be a birthday present haha. i just want to shower you in love;;; so thought maybe i could go through as many of your fics and comment on them :^)))

(TO EVERYONE ELSE: please go to @whistlingwillows blog and read her fics!!! they are SO FCKIN GOOD AND AMAZING AND UGH HER MIND (it’s a lot of mcu and her bucky and steve fics are a*. i DEFINITELY RECOMMEND))

i wish you a VERY happy birthday and i hope we stay friends for many more years <3333333333 

i’m going through your masterlist heehee ;)))

ah first off, nice theme! i never could rlly see it before because i’m always on mobile heehee. also sorry for not reviewing them before??? i don’t usually read fics on tumblr as you’ve probably guessed;;

anyways, IM GON REVIEW THE SHIT OUT OF THESE >:DDDD

far from home -  bucky x stark sister!reader

firstly, i like how youre introducing the reader from buckys pov, like you can sort of already gather what shes like from them

‘Bucky can hear Tony’s soft inhale, feel the intensity of the man’s glare directed at Steve. He shouldn’t be eavesdropping, but a twitch of muscle would be enough to alert both men that he’s here. With the amount of tension crackling in the air, a brush against the wall would be equivalent to a thousand cymbals crashing in cacophony.’

IM CRYING ALREADY. the imagery in here is GLORIOUS. your tone here is so fitting! oo and the alliteration here is perfecto

ooooooo!! the backstory coming in  👀👀

‘despite what some people think that Steve and Captain America are two different personas, there will always be parts of Steve in the Avenger, and parts of the Avenger in Steve. They both want to believe in something good. They are, after all, one in the same.// Just as how Bucky and the Winter Soldier are the same man despite everything. HYDRA simply amplified the hate, fertilized the seeds of rage, curated the quiet thunder within his soul, within James Buchanan Barnes so that the Winter Soldier could thrive.’

yIKES! lol this is very character study like! nICE. it hurts tho, my poor children, i love you both 

oo ‘starlight eyes’ that is a very nice way of describing them

‘“Then what was London?” The protesters. “São Paulo?” The earthquake. “Vancouver?” Freezing cold water.//“Look, I care if Stark’s gonna run us over trying to find her. I care enough because she’s part of our team. Come off it, Steve. I know she can take care of herself. I’m gonna take a nap. Dr. Cho said no partying post-Singapore and what do you know, we throw the biggest party ever.’

ooo singapore uwu and london? (coincidence? haha jkjk) and the hints abt reader and buckys background are so good?? but so annoying??? like i just wanna KNOW yknow?? 

‘The water runs copper and the sting bites at his palm as he tries not to think. Tries to focus on the numbing cold that runs over his skin.’ 

your imagery is so vivid?? im actually in awe??? i am so regretful i havent kept reading your fics. like i know they are amazing, i just keep putting them off??? idk man. hopefully this makes up for it (gd tho, im still not done with commenting on one fic. this is what im doing with my motivation teehee ;)

‘ He feels weak. Tired. He wants to go back to bed but he also wants to stay out in the sun for a few hours more. The sun kisses his skin through the windows and he squints against the blue sky, wondering ‘

mood during this quarantine lol

‘“Oh, right.” Your voice is flat, uninterested, cold, as you stare at him. “You killed my parents.”Shit.‘

 OUCH LMAO THATS C O L D, O GOT +100 PHYSIC DAMAGE FROM JUST READING THAT

ooo robin as a nickname noice. very much gives me batman vibes lol

oh! and the way of doing the ‘flashback’ is neat! very original. it both tells us what happened AND buckys reaction to it again. he can re-analyse himself and reader. very cool

‘If you walk away now, don’t bother coming back!” Silence. Bucky can hear his own strained breathing, your soft sigh as you soaked in his ultimatum.’

👀👀 yikes that ultimatum. :// not good bucky. tbf theyre both trying to hurt each other but Yikes

eyy!!! readers pov!! finally! and the switch after we find out the outsiders pov? brilliant

oh no :(( more angst

‘When’s the last time you saw your therapist?”“Don’t have one. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”’ they BOTH need therapists;;;;

very good fic!!! :DD they rlly do hate each other! i definitely like how you went back and forth with the timeline! it gave me a v strong idea on what yn was like even before we rlly got introduced. i am now very curious on where reader is? i love your characterisations! 

i will read the 10k+ fics but heck the last one took me ages lolol (i will comment in the future tho!! i promise <3 ) (that took me over an hour jjhghgdjh)

slipping away- amnesiac modern bucky x reader

omg,,, AMNESIA! >:DDDDDD

‘ Put your fucking seatbelt on’

oh no, istg theyre going to have a car crash arent they (’ doesn’t put the seatbelt on to spite you.’ NO PLEASE PUT IT ON U DUMBASS)

ok,,,,, at LEAST he put it on before he got hit, thank heck. but still. youre so cruel to your poor characters lmaoo

oh gosh

‘You fall apart slowly, like pieces of you peeling away until you’re nothing more than your broken heart. The sobs that wrack your body are relentless and you shove your forearm into your mouth to muffle your cries. You want to bite into your skin. You want to distract yourself from the agony tearing you to shreds. You want to feel anything but the pain.///Tears sweep into your hair, cloud your vision and your whole face floods with heat as you try to breathe through the pain. You’re cleaved into pieces on that bed, eyes squeezed shut as the tears keep flowing, and your throat burns’

this hurts damn, it is so vivid?? i can really feel it 

i am so glad you got into writing yk?? so glad

NO PLS, TELL HIM. TELL HIM :((( ‘shes nice once you get to know her?? shes known nat for years now!! years!!

oh god ‘he looks younger without the burden of your time together’ this is so angsty omg

‘Well, he was stumbling through his apology and I just let him finish.” Your body fills with warmth as you remember his embarrassed smile, the way he shoved his baseball cap farther down his head, chin tucked to his chest, trying to hide that face. “When he was done, I opened my mouth to say something polite but what came out was ‘You look like someone I’d very much like to kiss’.”

this is so soft i stg im crying in the club

OH SHITTTTTTTTTTT , you left it off like that!!! thats so cruel!!!! i can’t!!! how dare you!!!! :””””””((( im typing this with tears in my eyes ill have u know!!

anyway!!! very good fic!! you could honestly make that into a longfic very easily lol. i felt too many emotions :(( 

i was just about to say where is the fluff!! where is it!! when i saw the next one and yay :))) pls i cant have more angsty stuff rn

.

cookies and rings and things bucky and reader

‘how much do you love me?’ ‘count the snowflakes, multiply by a million’

did you have to start the fic off with such a SOFT line? its so soft! so TENDER 

‘He wonders what kinda insane person wears socks without any clothes on, but then decides that it’s the kind of person who’s fallen in love with him.’  jesus, the soft moments filled with love are the greatest <3

you can write fluff so well, whyd you have to pain me with all that angst ;””””) (1/10 hurt, 9/10 comfort is the way to go lolol) (jkjk ill read the angsty ones too when i have the spoons) (gonna reread that hydra steve one and ik thatll fuck me UP)

‘ Then, he can feel the cold metal of the ring she slid onto her own finger less than twenty-four hours ago and realizes that he had thought a lot of things shouldn’t be possible, and yet they still are. ‘

you literally brought me to tears reading this softness, you have truly found my weakness

‘ She’s so damn gorgeous with flour on her face and eye bags beneath her eyes that he’s sure she will inevitably make his heart burst ‘

he already likes her so much! i can’t believe this is affecting me so much :’)

‘Bucky is quite sure Sam is in love with his girlfriend in the fact that he’s in love with the fact that his girlfriend is possibly in love with Bucky’

this is so soft??? sam loves reader bc reader loves bucky sm. pls my hear <3333

you do fluff SO WELL DAMN 

‘F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s voice echoes in his small little perch and he still thinks it’s weird without having the side effect of Stark in his suit chasing after him to hear the A.I. but he shoves that uncomfortable feeling of the dead man out of his head. That is too much regret to unpack right now on a mission. ‘

yike bringing back that reminder oof

but thats so soft??? (i am def overusing soft but,,,,, i love it and the vibe) she sent him cookies! god i can feel the love  

‘She expresses her feelings through cooking, which Bucky has learnt the hard way. One time, they got into an argument over something stupid—he can’t even remember what started it—and came to the kitchen at 2AM to see her sitting at the kitchen island crying her eyes out and surrounded by baskets of muffins.’

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 my hEART

you show how much they love each other in so many ways??? i am dying

“Alright, I like it.” Rolling his eyes, he pecks her forehead and she smiles victoriously. It’s so adorable that Bucky, with less than three hours of sleep, adds, “God, I want to marry you.//”“What?”//Oh.Shit.

oh my god! i am literally tearing up!!! AGAIN!!!!!!!!

oh shit o am literally crying

your fluff got me crying harder than your angst i hope youre happy

I really hope you enjoy reading this?? i keep forgetting to like text you but i wanted to do something for your birthday. especially in quarantine when everythings gone crazy. one year i swear ill do something REALLY good for you. not making promises bc i hate if i dont. but ill like, learn how to podfic because you D E S E R V E  I T 

ive spent like three hours doing this lolol 

thank you so much for everything hayley!

#i love you sm hayley!!!! thank you for EVERYTHING #AND THIS IS A FIC REC PLS CHECK HAYLEYS STUFF OUT

[letstalksymphogear]

Symphogear, EP.7 (Cont.)

“i have not now, nor ever, liked this creepy ass church elevator.”

“kanade please get out of my head, just because im hungry doesnt mean you have to tell me every time i am”

Hibiki finishes getting a full body X-ray. She’s fine.

“that anime protagonist immunity is really kicking in well!”

“by the way, your wife is here! and she’s looking mighty miffed., as opposed to me, mighty milfed.”

“you dont strike me as a mother figure but ill play along for now”

“i just hope miku’s okay...”

“oh, she’ll be fine! see, i’ve seen these kinds of plots before. big secret revealed, another lover is shown, the victim watches as they’re thoroughly cheated on, and they get to lik-”

“please stop breathing”

Genjuro’s wasting away again in Margaritaville. Looking for some daughter to adopt. SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT THERE’S A, WOOOOMAAAAAN TO BLAAAAAAAAAAME, BUT HE KNOWS

XYLOPHONE RIFF

THAT’S IT’S ALL HIS FAULT

XYLOPHONE RIFF

“i hate it when he gets like this. jimmy buffets not a good look for him.”

“for once you and i agree. seeing the commander sulk like this like a middle aged perma-tourist is genuinely miserable”

“hey homies! im back and i brought some bitches! oh, jesus, why does this place smell like mistakes in miami?”

“its me. im sorry. every time i feel like i failed as a dad, my anti-dad energies manifest. imagine every midlife crisis rolled up into a single ball, smacked into the face for eternity. thats the depth of my pain for failing this girl.”

In a moment of positivity, the friendship between Tsubasa and Hibiki is cemented.

> Tsubasa has joined the party.

“FRIENDSHIP!”

“fweindship.”

“uuuuhhhhh... dadship? yeah thats close enough.”

“WE’RE ALL GOOD FRIENDS!”

“ya tiddies are ringing again, better go get it”

Ryoko also points out that Hibiki’s relic is fusing with herself at an alarming rate. This is important to keep in mind.

Meanwhile, at night.

Miku is posing in the motherly “you done fucked up, where have you been young lady” position. A cold scolding is coming.

“.........................hey miku......”

“you can come in. are you worried im gonna bite? you suplexed a car. that shouldn’t be an issue anymore.”

“miku, i.... i wanted to tell you.... but.... the plot wouldn’t let me, miku....”

“should’ve told the plot to fuck off anyway. now you’re gonna live with that. you’re sleeping... on the bottom bunk.”

“b.... b..... b...... b.... b...... bottom bunk...?”

They slept separately that night. God, this is so stupid. All of this is so goddamned stupid. “I’m so mad at you even though you saved my life.” This is just so. AUGH. THIS IS DUMB. KANEKO WRITE BETTER ANGST THAT MAKES SENSE THAT ISN’T THIS.

Meanwhile, far away from this garbage...

Chris, having been evicted from Fine’s McMansion, wanders the streets of mumblemumble aimlessly. Don’t be fooled by her new fancy dress. Basically, she’s a combat-competent hobo.

“no food. no home. no victories. this sucks. whyd you do it, fine? we coulda been great together. but no. ya fired me. now i look like im prancing the red light district with a highly advanced superweapon around my neck.”

“no... hibiki’s to blame. ever since that genderbent little mac showed up to fight me, it’s been all downhill. fine thought me a laughstock because i couldnt take out her oversized boxing gloves, and now she beat me while i had nehushtan. god... i wish i never met that damn hamster faced chubby cheeked nerd.”

“wait, whats that crying”

Chris spies two kids talking to each other, one of them crying. Chris immediately makes an assumption, believing the big bro is bullying his sis.

“hey! stop nicking her lunch money, twerp”

Chris currently is a firm believer of corporeal punishment.

But the sister deflects the blow. Chris can’t even defeat children right now. Truly, this is a record low for her. You know you blew it when even kids are schooling you on basic morality. She then tells the little girl to stop crying, ironically mirroring her brother.

The infamous double T-Pose maneuver. Chris, you might as well get a shovel and start digging your own grave.

“i keep doing bad things badly, and now im doing good things badly... when fine said i was bad... did she just mean im not talented?”

Chris, finally, does a good thing and helps these kids find their parents.

“yeah. hibiki saved a kid when she got her gear. guess what? bam! im saving two! that’s fifty percent more kid per kid saved. take that, weirdo.”

The kids call her out on Chris singing unconsciously, and Chris gets flustered over it. Dawwwwww.

Chris manages to get them to safety to their Dad...

...while brutally lying about it, making Chris look like a predator. There’s a very crushing irony at play here, given who Chris used to serve.

“ugggggggggggggggghhhhhh hes not even gonna payyyyy meeeeeee why the fuck did i dooooo thiiiiiiissssss”

“hey, you know. you kids have a really nice relationship with one another. care to give me tips on how to be an empathetic human being capable of making friends?”

“maybe we’re born with it”

“maybe its maybeline”

“maybeline...”

Meanwhile...

A cold wind blows through Lydian Apartment 69-L. (I don’t actually know if that’s their room number, I just made it up.)

“jesus take the wheel, because i’m jumping out the passenger seat to save this current wreck of a relationship”

“miku please i saved your life, doesnt that count for anything”

“you already killed me the moment you lied. also im taking the bottom bunk so i dont have to see your face coming down the ladder.”

“miku you cant hide in this depression den forever. i know i hurt you and im sorry for it, but please understand i literally couldnt do it. you saw there were punches and violence and stuff... i didnt want you tied to that...”

“what was that? i cant hear your apologies over my incredibly loud snoring. SNOOOOOOORE. SNOOOOOOOORE. SNOOO- fuck, i just swallowed my spit, fuck”

“i hope this cocoon of displeasure you’ve made for yourself lets you erupt into a butterfly of acceptance so i can fly with you again.”

“......thats not fair. you cant say those beautiful metaphors and get away with it. let me be mad... sniff... let me be mad...”

Sadness wafts in the den of lies Hibiki has been forced into.

No music plays. There is only heartbreak, and woe.

In the midst of this pain...

Ryoko loredumps about how the Symphogears work and are immune to the noise on her blog, ‘hornyonmainforscience.org’, her hybrid science journal slash kink zone. It’s mostly a recap with some pretty good soft techno beats in it.

“i made a custom brew of red bull, five hour energy drink, coffee, and cream. i call it gamer girl piss.”

“damn. that’s some good piss.”

She muses about how Hibiki has managed to break the limitations of her Symphogear, making her a totally unique specimen. Wait, where have we heard this before...?

Hey... Ryoko... let’s just... cool it a bit with the Hibiki pictures... come on...

Ryoko touches upon the Custodians and the Curse of Babel. We ain’t touching that shit until later, because that’s another shitfuck box of crazy just ready to jump us in a dark alleyway to rob us of our wits.

Back to Lydian:

“miku whats the answer to the first three multiple choice questions”

“B. A. D.”

“oh, thanks. huh, BAD.”

“yeah. you are.”

“mmm. taste likes dissapointment. just like my life.”

“hey table for two haha get it cause there’s two chairs and miku for the love of god, please, forgive me”

“ive surgically removed my eyes and drew eyelashes over them with sharpie so i dont have to see your bird bangs.”

“thats very rude to both me and my hair. also, wig.”

Even Hibiki’s meal is judging her. Mainly for not eating it. Fucking look at this. God, that looks amazing. Fuck, why did I write this while I was hungry.

“miku you cant do this forever. i might die and youll end up crying on my tombstone going ‘oh god, why, oh god’, and really, i cant live with myself if that happens. mainly because id already be dead by then”

The Anime Janai crew show up to break some icebergs with a goddamn sledgehammer. As the self-aware Gods of this realm, they got very tired of this poor display of angst, and have decided to directly intervene.

Nevermind. They came for her kneecaps, and they most certainly got them.

PLEASE. I’M BEGGING YOU. END THIS GARBAGE PLOT THREAD.

“look. imma lay down the facts. yall are gay. yall are in love. yall are angry for the wrong reasons. its nobody’s fault here but the writer. so please kiss and make up. pretty please.”

“kaneko... you fool... we all know what the original sin is. its your hack writing making this stupidity in the first place. let the pencil go, asshole!”

They bring up the fact that Hibiki isn’t doing her work and wonder if she has a job on the side, which isn’t allowed by the school. Miku gets annoyed and bails, with Hibiki running after her. Unfortunately, Miku runs faster...

“oh god miku not the rooftop whatever you’re thinking just dont do it! please!”

“no. i came here to angst, since this is the Maximum Angst Zone.”

“i..... okay! okay, that’s fair! rooftops are the perfect place to look sad while getting proper air ventilation, thats fine”

It really would have been better played if it was played off that she felt hurt not because of the lie, but because she felt like she could have helped her better having known the truth, and it being a self-loathing sort of scenario for not being there better for her and not fully understanding the risk at play.

But no, instead, we get this.

Absolutely obliterated. A heart ripped, shredded, and sent to the Shadow Realm.

The episode ends on that note, but has a post credit scene.

Naked. On an old timey telephone. On a computer. Wearing stockings and long gloves.

The main antagonist of the series, everybody.

She’s talking the best English possible to some random-ass American when suddenly bursting through the scene is none other than:

“I WANT WORKERS COMPENSATION YOU BITCH, BEFORE I UNIONIZE YOUR NAKED ASS”

“AND I WANT A GOOD REFERNECE FOR MY FUTURE EMPLOYER, AND ALSO A SEVERANCE PACKAGE SINCE I’M FUCKING HOMELESS”

“i paint my eyelashes with mascara made from the tar of freshly carbonated corpses manufactured through noise, what on gods green earth compels you to think id give a rats ass about you?”

“so you never cared, huh! you’re just a nasty naked hedonist trying to- trying to- what the fuck are you even trying to do?!”

“i want to live the dream every spicy little fossil like me yearns for.”

“I WANNA FUCK GOD!”

“how- what? what? how do you even- what? are you- do you want to be the pope? is that it? does the pope get to fuck god? are you- is this a larping thing? you’ve really been into larping lately! i don’t like this!”

“youve never read the old testament, have you. ass out, pussy bare, hips up and barefoot. that’s how god’s always liked it.”

“now get lost, punk. you tipped off my hand to genjuro and now you being here is going to ruin everything. if you still feel any semblance of devotion, eat one of your own bullets and call it a day.”

“it’s 2012 bitch, if the mayans dont get you, I WILL”

“what god gives, He takes away, and so do i. i built you from the ground up. your relic, which was good for jack shit on you. the nehushtan, which you failed to do anything with except zap a couple hundred people. stop wars? you’re a walking war, waged by me, for me. and your cartridge has just run out of bullets.”

“uh oh! hand’s acting up again! better bail before i send you back to smacktown where all the bitter little shittalkers like you strut around spending their lives being useless as hell.”

“ah fuck, im not dealing with no manos: the hands of fate bullshit again”

“and guess what else i got on motherfucker”

“i see the union efforts have officially been busted. understandable, have a nice day ma’am”

“LEAVE.”

“I’M GOING, I’M GOING”

#symphogear #symphogear season 1 #anime #recap #comedy

[thetimelordbatgirl]

Gah, sorry anon, I was asleep when you sent this! Timezone BS and stuff.

But for my answer? Uhh, Mal is essentially a bully? She literally tries to spell Ben not only on his memories but also in promotional material, said to Santa she wanted more love potions so he wont be mad at her- there was also how she snapped at him a lot and acted like in the book of D2 saving him was tiring when you'd think she'd be worried out of her mind but nope, she's just tired of him I guess when he literally only got captured cause Mal sent him out despite him trying for her and even offering to change himself for her- and does she have to say sorry for nearly spelling him in the movie, aka his memories, while also showing hes paranoid of magic by this point cause of the love potion??? Nope, she suffers NO consequences for treating Ben like this and instead Ben's put in the wrong when he did NOTHING.

And then her bullying- she literally has a past of bullying not only Evie in the books with Carlos, but in all canons so far, she's bullied Uma to the point of destroying her confidence almost and ruining her life whenever she could on the Isle- Uma having a birthday party? How about I throw my own to ensure she's on her own? Start the nickname Shrimpy to ensure she can't get back up? Why not? And what did Uma do to deserve this you may ask? Uhh.....she laughed a bit at Mal falling into the water....and then realised what was wrong and went to help.....only to get Shrimp poured in her hair in response and that was it- Mal literally has never said sorry to Uma for this, not even in D2 when she's making her little speech to Uma after seeing she'll get her own way now with seeing the glass mirror where Ben's kneeling for he, and even in the D2 book, was almost okay with fighting Uma at the end and calls her 'Shrimpy' STILL, so much for changing huh? And now in D3, she tries to close up the barrier for good according to the description of the movie....cause of fearing Uma and Hades....Hades I get, but this is just Mal escaping what she did to Uma once more- sure she may have said sorry to Evie in some sense in the books, but even in D2 she snaps at the two cause they don't miss the fucking Isle, especially Carlos, WHO WAS ABUSED BY HIS MOTHER- like, she literally didn't care how they felt about the Isle and snapped at them about it.

Oh yeah, speaking of the Isle- remember when she tried to discourage bringing Freddie back with them in Wicked World? Remember when she was against helping Uma in D2 cause Ben was the only one seeing sense? Remember when she only saw the Isle as essentially a holiday resort cause its the only place where she can control people basically??? Sure, you can say it aint her problem to free the VKs, but she sure made it her problem in Wicked World and D2 and now D3 so far where she literally seals up the barrier for good apparently, leaving behind a lot of VKs just cause she can't stand to face the music with Uma.

There's also minor here, but the fact that it took Ben giving her a mirror portrait where he's kneeling for Mal to prove he loved her despite him proving it so many times prior but she was busy acting like he was the bad guy???? Like, concerning almost considering she went back to the Isle to be in control of people basically.

And of course, what she did to Audrey was beyond wrong- yes, she stole a boyfriend and I can't believe im agreeing with what Chad said, she stole Ben with a love spell and was perfectly fine with humiliating Audrey at the game and even shamed her to make Evie feel better and again, AUDREYS GOT NO APOLOGY FOR THE HUMILATION AT THE BREAK UP- and of course....D3s now making her into the bad guy so guess we wont get a sorry....

There is also the Jane thing where she prayed on Jane's insecurities in D1, knowing it'd work and even then, it turned out they planned to not use Jane anyway for the wand so Mal just did that shit originally and then acted surprised when Jane lashed out at the coronation and only then did a small apology- the only apology of hers I've seen in Auradon to date really, but doesn't take back what she did really.

So yeah, there's why I don't like Mal outside of her just constantly hogging the plots and even the last one now- I just cant like a bully who hurts people and acts prissy to her boyfriend when she doesn't get her own way and cant lie to him cause turns out, that's not a healthy relationship and he knows it, let alone a bully who constantly bullies her victim cause she got nothing else on Uma.

#disney descendants #descendants #descendants 2 #descendants 3 #mal #mal salt #....whoops this got long shjndjeej #but there you go #and aww thanks hope you have a good day as well

[aliferous-ly]

Find yourself and grow - bnha

this has nothing to do with the prompt but it inspired this s oooooooooo yup

Kirishima stared at the ceiling. An uncertain sort of energy thrummed through him, his eyes exhausted and bones like jelly but unable to close his eyes, his mind active but muted like a frizzled television.

He didn’t have the energy to get up but he didn’t have the ability to sleep, so Kirishima leaned over and grabbed his phone. Turning it on started a small headache right behind his eyes but Kirishima didn’t know what else to do, so he scrolled through a few social media sites, staring but not seeing.

A snapchat notification appeared at the top of his screen. [BROCCOLI BOI is typing…]

Kirishima narrowed his eyes and waited for the consecutive “BROCCOLI BOI has sent you a snap!”, but it never came.

He went to snapchat anyway, hovering over Izuku’s name for only a second before clicking.

[you] hey i saw u typing u up

Kirishima waited, hoping that Izuku was actually up and that snapchat didn’t glitch on him. Izuku’s profile bubbled, indicating that he was typing, and Kirishima let out a breath of relief.

[BROCCOLI BOI] yea sorry about that haha!

[BROCCOLI BOI] just a lil tired didnt want to bother u

[you] no worries i’m up too

[BROCCOLI BOI] you really should be getting sleep! sleep is incredibly important for lots of things

[you] i could say the same to u bro

[you] why u up?

[BROCCOLI BOI] why r u up?

[you] uh couldnt sleep

[BROCCOLI BOI] me neither

[you] ah

[BROCCOLI BOI] u should go to sleep tho

[you] u first

[BROCCOLI BOI] i can’t

[you] me neither

[you] i’m so tired i can’t get up but i cant fall asleep

[BROCCOLI BOI] wanna hang out in the lobby

[you] i just said im too tired to get up

[BROCCOLI BOI] but ur awake

[BROCCOLI BOI] i can carry u

[you] dude no i’m rlly heavy

[you] comes w the perks of being a literal rock

[BROCCOLI BOI] is that a challenge

[you] i mean go off deku

[BROCCOLI BOI] brt

“Oh my god,” Kirishima said aloud, running a hand down his face. “Oh man.”

Not a minute later he heard knocking before his door swung open, Midoriya genuinely standing in his threshold with All Might pajama pants and a plain red t-shirt.

Kirishima started sitting up, the fatigue receding for a moment as he laughed in shock. “I can’t believe you’re here, Midori– ah!” Kirishima yelped in surprise as Midoriya strode forwards and leaned down, placing his arms under Kirishima’s knees and behind his shoulders, picking him up effortlessly.

“Midoriya!” Kirishima threw his arms around Midoriya’s shoulders in shock, his body tensing instinctively.

A dusting of pink was brushed on Midoriya’s cheeks, but he said, “You aren’t that heavy, you know.”

Kirishima stared at him.

Midoriya shifted, then, looking more and more awkward. “I’m… I’m sorry? Uh. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Uh.”

“This is the most incredible thing that has ever happened to me,” Kirishima said, in awe. And wow, this was not great for his mini crush, honestly.

Mini. Yeah, okay.

Midoriya’s flush grew deeper but he didn’t set Kirishima down, instead positioning him into a more comfortable hold and stepping away from the bed. “So, uh, to the commons?”

“Let’s go to the rec room,” Kirishima said. The commons was always colder than the rec room, being so close to the entrance.

“The rec room…?” Midoriya said slowly. “There’s…?”

“Holy– okay, Midoriya, prepare to have your mind blown,” Kirishima said, gesturing with one hand for emphasis. “It’s like the commons but with like, way more pillows, and a way better TV, it’s hidden though, and there’s a code, you gotta follow it, okay?”

“Alright,” Midoriya said, laughter in his voice. “Lead the way, then?”

Kirishima flushed and wrapped his arms around Midoriya’s shoulders and neck again. He could probably walk, especially after Midoriya hyping him up about the rec room, but who was he to turn down such a rare experience?

Kirishima led him through the hallways, Midoriya giving him strange looks when he told him to go through the boiler room to get there. They eventually reached a door with a wooden sign. Which, in reality, was more of a wooden slab pinned to the door. Burnt into the wood said “enter if you dare”.

Kirishima exuberantly gestured to the door. “Here it is! All your hopes and dreams behind these hallowed doors!”

Midoriya glanced at him, then turned his gaze pointedly at the wood, a blush creeping up his neck as he muttered, “doubt it.”

“Hey dude, okay, I gotta–” Kirishima struggled out of Midoriya’s arms, now wide-awake and excited. “Initiation. So. You are about to enter the former abode of the hero squad known as Burnout.”

Midoriya hide his smile at Kirishima’s grave expression and jazz hands.

“Burnout found this abandoned room years ago and renovated it. They’re inspirations, really, and there’s rules pinned around the room that we have to follow or the room will reject us,” Kirishima said, nodding seriously. “A main one: no telling teachers. Legend says a member attempted to inform a teacher and they were never seen again…” Kirishima said lowly, then added, “just kidding! They were unable to use their quirk for a few hours. And they lost the trust of everyone else, obviously.”

“That sounds easy enough,” Midoriya said, mind already running through the possible quirks with such a power. It would have to encompass the room, but also be able to effect any who knew about it – including technically him as well, unless the rules weren’t enacted until he entered the room itself. Then the quirk had to be able to cause losing another quirk for a select amount of time by spoken word, maybe? These rules sounded awfully hard to enforce, and –

“’Doriya, my dude,” Kirishima punched him lightly in the shoulder. “Stay with me my man, that was only one.”

“Ah, sorry!” Midoriya blushed and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

“Rule number two,” Kirishima said, holding up two fingers. “No fighting. Real fighting, since it can tell the difference, somehow. Quirk usage is okay, but once it gets too… real, you gotta take it outside. That one makes you really tired, I know from experience.”

“…okay,” Midoriya said, deciding life would be easier the less questions he asked. Less time spent talking, the sooner they’d actually go in.

“Those are the most important ones I guess,” Kirishima mused, shrugging. “Alright, Midoriya, initiation over!”

Kirishima pushed the door open and beckoned Midoriya in, letting the door fall shut after Midoriya had entered.

“Welcome to the rec room!” Kirishima said proudly, like he was presenting a personal accomplishment.

The room could hold a decent amount of people while retaining that cozy size, with two couches, two recliners, and an uncountable amount of varying sizes and kinds of beanbags thrown about. Just as Kirishima promised, a large flat-screen sat on one wall, but a minifridge ran softly in the back of the room with a shaded window nearby.

“Wow,” Midoriya breathed. The walls were covered in old boards, giving the room a rustic feel.

Kirishima breezed by him and plopped onto one of the couches, sighing deeply. “Ah, it’s been too long.”

“When were you here last?” Midoriya asked.

“Two days ago,” Kirishima said. “Kaminari found it first, of course, so he told me and Sero, then Ashido because she beat him at arm wrestling, and Bakugou – I think Bakugou found it before all of us, honestly. Todoroki has totally been here before, too, the ice box in the mini fridge is always stocked – and maybe like, Tokoyami? Because that dude knows like, everything.”

Kirishima seemed to melt into the couch as he spoke, movements becoming more and more sluggish until he yawned. Midoriya took a step, hesitation pouring through his veins, because he didn’t want to intrude on Kirishima’s… on Kirishima.

Kirishima looked soft and pliable in a way Midoriya had never seen before, and the normally loud and expressive teen was… quiet, and tired, and yawning.

“Hey dude, wanna play like… video games or something?” Kirishima said.

“Maybe a movie,” Midoriya suggested, eyeing Kirishima’s drooping eyes as he finally made it to the couch and sat down gingerly.

“Dude let’s watch Pacific Rim,” Kirishima said. “You haven’t seen it, right?”

“I haven’t,” Midoriya said.

“Awesome.” Summoning energy from some deep energy source within him, Kirishima lurched from the couch and picked through a stack of movies next to the TV. While Kirishima was getting the movie ready, Midoriya glanced around the room.

Small post-its nailed – yes, nailed – to the wall littered the wood in pale yellow, pink, green, and the occasional green or orange pieces of paper. He read the nearest one to him: “Rule 31: if one of you little shits sticks ONE more piece of bubblegum to the ceiling you’re evicted”.

“Oh, yeah,” Kirishima said, noticing Midoriya’s gaze. “They added rules as time went on.”

Midoriya glanced at another one – a dark purple one with silver sharpie writing, sharp and jagged, with the words “Rule 12: NO SEX IN THIS ROOM YA NASTIES -from your neighborhood ace”.

Midoriya blinked, in surprise, shock, or embarrassment, or possibly a mixture of all three.

“I think the original three uh,” Kirishima cleared his throat. “Made a later member mad.”

“Oh my god,” Midoriya breathed, soft laughter falling from his lips.

Kirishima gazed at him for another second or two before flopping back onto the couch, pressing play. He was notably closer to Midoriya than when Midoriya had initially sat down, their arms almost (almost) brushing.

A few minutes in, Kirishima’s head dropped onto Midoriya’s shoulder.

By the fifteen minute mark, Kirishima was asleep.

Midoriya wasn’t sure how Kirishima managed to sleep through one of the most action-packed movies he’d ever seen, counting the All Might saga, without stirring once.

By the time the movie ended, Midoriya’s shoulder was asleep, but he didn’t dare move Kirishima – he looked softer, relaxed, while he slept, and Midoriya didn’t want to disrupt that.

However, after sitting in complete silence for a few minutes, TV black, Midoriya realized he’d have to move.

“Okay, Kiri,” Midoriya murmured mostly to himself, since Kirishima was sleeping. “Let’s get you back to your room.”

He propped Kirishima against the back of the couch and stood, cracking his back and rotating his shoulders, then leaned down and picked Kirishima up, throwing him over his shoulder. While the princess-hold had been great for dramatic effect and great because Midoriya got to see Kirishima’s expression, he wanted to have an open hand.

The halls were eerily quiet, as it was around three or four in the morning, but Midoriya’s stride was confident. He’d walked these halls at early times before.

Entering Kirishima’s room, Midoriya gently lay the teen on his obnoxiously colored sheets, pulling the comforter over his body and, unable to resist the temptation, gave him a soft kiss on the cheek.

He was almost out the door when a quiet, “Midoriya?” sounded from the bed.

He paused, door in hand, and tilted his head. “Yeah?”

“I really…” a yawn, then, “I really like you.”

Midoriya’s cheeks inflamed and he tensed, throat suddenly dry. He turned around completely, to craft a probably embarrassing babble of a response, but Kirishima was already sleeping again.

Midoriya shut the door as silently as he could, then sped-walked back to his room, having a mini-crisis.

He definitely wasn’t getting any more sleep tonight.

#YUH #still getting thru these i'm so happy #kirideku #kirishima eijirou #midoriya izuku #bnha #mrabbles

[inkytsuki]

in celebration for kish’s birthday i’m rereading the annotated version of the original illu so here it is for ya’ll!!

Includes my annotations from the stream and all the mistakes i made when i was twelve. its horrible. you are welcome

tw for furry bashing (i actually love furries i just hate myself)

Prologue (cara literally wrote that monologue from the hangover about being a lone wolf

at the bottom of the page)

The name Illusien has a history. A special name, on Glacitoria. It means Illumination. The name has always been given to a young woman; never a man or boy. The woman would receive her powers on her 16tth birthday; from that moment on, she became the light of Glacitoria.    The name was only given every 110 years. The name was a promise, a promise of life. She would live 100 years (????), then ten more years later, she would be reborn. Each time a different woman, a different power, a brighter light.    Each reincarnation stronger than the last. The ruler of all, lover of all, protector, savior, queen……….

Chapter 1: Illusien

The bright sun shone in her eyes. She winced and squinted as she got up and closed the curtains. Amber slowly opened her eyes. She looked around the room searching from her stuff. Tommorrow (aces thats literally how i spelled it) would be her 16th birthday. She couldn’t stand waiting.    When all Glacitorian’s turn 16, they can have their genes tested, giving them the ability to obtain their powers, and move into the above ground planet with a real sun and sky. The artificial sky and sun we so annoying to Amber.    She slipped downstairs and ran out the front door.    "It’s so dirty down here,“ she thought (kill me). "All you can smell is dirt. I wonder if Alex is awake.” (still kill me) Her brown hair glowed red in the sunlight, her freckles lit up her face and her green eyes, murky green and swamplike, shone in the artificial sun. (this is so homoerotic i was so gay)    She wondered what it would be like above ground. She hoped it would be much more lovely than this. The thought of only having to be underground for 24 more hours was unbearable. She walked on back to the orphanage. Living in an orphange (FUCKING HELL KATIE CORRECTED THIS TO ORPHANGE) was not odd because after your 16th birthday you were sent up.    But, there were in fact squibs (robbed terminology from harry potter), whose (I CANT BELIEVE I USED THE RIGHT FORM OF WHOSE) genes did not match anything but human DNA. So they were not able to go above and were doomed to live underground. Most children did not know their parents.    Being so excited, Amber did not know what time it was. She looked at the clock. It was 9:30 pm. And then she drifted to sleep. (LEGENDARY)

—

Amber woke up. Happy birthday to me, she thought. She stood up and looked around her room. Lauren was still asleep. (who the fuck is lauren) Wearily, she quietly walked out of the room.    She slipped downstairs. Andrea, the squib owner, caretaker, was waiting for her.    "Are you ready Amber,“ she asked.    "Yes and no, and Andrea?”    "Yes Amber,“    "Is Alex comming?”    "Yes, Celia is bringing him,“    And they left.

—

Amber looked at Alex, her twin brother. He had her hair, but not her face nor eyes. He looked nothing like her. (he was ugly)    Knowing soon they would pass into the real Glacitoria, was hard. (not this shit again. ALSO RANDOM COMMA FTW) It was a heavy weight. Soon, they reached a large cave. Andrea and Celia stopped.    "We cannot go any farther,” said Andrea.    "You must complete the journey,“ this time the voice was from Celia. (??????)    Amber hugged Andrea good-bye. Alex walked on. They entered the cave. this cave was dingy and weathered. There was a trickle of water running down through the cave.    Amber and Alex kept on and the water grew stronger.    "I see light!” Amber exclaimed.    They crawled out. It was loud. The rumbling of voices filled the air. (WHERE DO THESE PEOPLE GO. THEY LITERALLY ARE IN THE WOODS ALONE FOR MONTHS OK) They walked towards a door-like arch.    "Name.“ A short man boomed from a window (HOW DOES SHE KNOW HES SHORT)    "Age.”    "Sixteen.“    "Today?”    "Today.“    He told her to step into the arch. She did so. A green light flashed around her. (Daisy??? is that you………??) She saw a tail pop out on her back and felt ears sprout on her head. Her hair turned dark red and she felt a warmth.    A spark. It landed on her finger tips and went inside her. Pop! (pop yep. i used the word pop. sound effects. slay.) A green (surprise) outfit surrounded her. Black gloves popped (ugh) on her hands.    A whisper. More whispers. Then she started to float down, the light drifted away. The whispers ceased.    The dwarf (NOW HES A DWARF APPARENTLY) seemed to be in a daze. But one word stayed on her mind.    Illusien.

Chapter 2: The Newest Light

"I’m afraid I’m gonig to have to tell you,” the dwarf (ah…continuity) said, “you’re goig to start to forget who you are. Then you will become someone new.” (DEMENTIA)    "Sir,“ said the girl (???? transition????) "does this have anything to do with that word, Illusien, I believe it was?”    "I’m afraid it does,“ the (very afraid) dwarf said in reply. "That is now your name. You are the new light for Glacitoria.”    It stuck in her head like chewing gum on a desk. ( i like this analogy katie said it was stupid) “You are the newest light for Glacitoria.” She had heard that name before. Illusien.        She thanked him and left. She hadn’t seen her brother (bother was accurate tbh) cross through. Her fox ears and tail twitched. (it pains me to write that.) She stood up. Maybe her brother was a squib.    The beauty of Glacitoria is more than I would ever imagined, with undisturbed nature, the girl thought, much better than underground.    The fresh air smelled and tasted good to Illusien. She closed her green, cat-like (shes a fox tho) eyes to take a deep breath. She felt herself bump into something. (SPOILER: IT KISH)    She opened her eyes and looked up. The soft hazel eyes that looked back at her calmed her. His dark hair gleamed in the sunlight (moonlight was written over this but im so confused)    Real sun(moon)light, she thought, no artifical stuff.    He looked at her with his soft gaze. (hes actually batshit and a brat haha) It made her want to melt. She couldn’t look away.    "H-hi-um i-urr,“ she stammered. (ATTRACTIVE)    "Hello, my name is Mikish,” he said (awkwardly) cooly. “You can call me Kish.”    "Hi, my name is Am–I mean Illusien (theres a little :) next to illusien),“ Illusien said. (cause…we needed…to…hear…her…name…again…)    "You know, you’re a legend,.” Kish replied, “( I ca nt believe i ha ve to ty pe this) A (ew) beautiful one at that,” he said looking her dead in the eyes.    She blushed. (cause thats what u do when a guy is creeping on you) Wait! Mikish, she thought, the words suddenly creeping into her head; he’s a legend himself!    "You know,“ said she (why), "your a legend too.”    "Really? I wondered why they acted all weird when I went through two years ago!“ he said sarcastically. (ive used all my exclaimation points for the rest of my life and its only page like 6)    She laughed. She couldn’t help it. (ew ew ewewewwe WHY DO I HAVE TO TYPE THIS) He was so (…………………) handsome, he made her (???? what is) want to sing Amazing Grace at the top of her lungs. (?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????)    "You tell my story (??),” Kish said, “And I’ll tell you yours.” (I love how there is always a break in the dialogue)

—

As Kish told her of her past, she watched him. All of his movents (?) so perfect, so smooth, so natural (i would fuckin hope so). He was a work of art.    She looked into his hazel eyes. They were so beautiful. He must be an angel, she thought. Only an angel could be so beautiful. (evan peters is actually weirdly attractive but lol)    Suddenly (obligatory anime faint) she was feeling super dizzy.    "Are you okay?!“ exclaimed Kish.    "Kish…” (jfc)    She closed her eyes and fainted. (why) (actually theres a reason but i didnt do this for that reason unfortunately)

–

(I do not want to type this part like no why WHY WHY DID I WRITE THIS. I LET PEOPLE READ THIS) It was dark. Illusien could hear the crackling of fire. She rolled over. Kish! Where was Kish? Kish came through the trees, carrying firewood. (another little :) )    "Well, you’re finally awake!“ Kish said.    "What happened?” asked Illusien, rubbing her head.    "You fainted!“ (he said mockingly as he laughed at her. he kept laughing. what a fucking idiot)    Oh no! (please dont make me do this) (this is literally right out of tokyo mew mew a la mode) I (plz) fainted in front of this (no plz) cute guy? (sigh) say it isnt so!

–

The fire was warm. Kish (sorry i changed POVs. now its in Kish’s pov????) looked up at her. She saw him and he averted his gaze. Her tail twitched as she sat across from him.    She pulled her hair back into (god fucking damn it. why why why why why why) ribboned (no) pigtails. Her bangs and (rolls eyes into the abyss) frames (anime hair sugoii desu) hung down. Her swamplike eyes lit up in the firelight.    His looked gray in the light. It made him look more handsome (so beautiful everyones so beautiful and white). If that was possible. (ew)    "Illusien.”    "Yes, Kish?“ (addressing one another by name so that the deer arent confused)    "You should get some rest. I’ll show you around in the morning. Don’t worry. (oh no  here we go with the white boy bull shit) I’ll always be around to protect you. Always. (haha nope)”    The words hung in her ears. (which ones) She smiled.    "Good night kish.“    "Good night, my light.” (next to it “awwwww how sweet” more like barf)

Chapter 3: Kish

“Good morning! ( :) )”    "Whaa!! (oh my god) Oh, kish!“    "Get up we must get going.”    "Kish (it looks like kush right here) what are you talking about? You sound worried!“    "I’ll tell you when we get there.”    "Okay. I trust you.“ (yoU ARE TOO TRUSTING) –

Her dark red hair bounced as they treaded through the woods. Her orange red ears stood straight up and her eyes on Kish.    The evergreen forest around her sent chills up her spine. She decided to follow behind Kish closer. She heard a stick crack. (ACTION)    "Kish! Get down!”    "What?!“    "Someone’s following us.”    They laid down behind a large log. Kish, she thought, where is he? (hes a fast little fucker apparently) Kish was gone. She heard a crack. Kish shot an arrow at their attacker. (apparently hes ann excellent marksman)    Illusien got up. She looked older now. (is this really the time for this) She didn’t think as she used to. (its been one fucking day) She walked over to Mikish, who was standing over the body. (who he killed with one shot. with a normal bow and arrow)    He picked up an amulet. “This belongs to Xalador (lmfao),” he thought. “This is what I feared!”

–

“Kish are we there yet? ( :) )”    "Almost.“    They stopped at a stream with a great water fall crashing down. (streams dont get great waterfalls…..like…no. just nope). It’s beautiful, thought Illusien, like nothing ive every seen!    "We’re here, Illusien.”    "Now tell me what we’re doing.“ –

"We are in danger. Mostly you. Do you know who Xalador is?”    "No.“ (why the fuck. she doesnt know anything shit head)    "He is a sorcerer (?). His power is greater than mine and has the ability to drain the power from you. That’s what he wants. Your power. He wants to destroy you

once and for all. If you are destroyed in your youth and not before your 100 years are up the light of Glacitoria will be extinguished forever.” (???????? okay whatever)    Illusien looked into his gray eyes. They had looked hazel the night before. His hair wasnt as dark either. It was sandyish. (jfc)    He looked at her with piercing eyes. (as piercing as an awkward 15 year old virgins eyes can be) She knew he was serious.

—

As she sat listening she had an eerie feeling as the words seemed to creep into her head:

“Mikish, the controller of mind (originally his power was water). King of all. Caretaker of Illusien. Always born two years earlier. He would follow Illusien through her journey.

Forever, until his destruction.” (too trusting)

–

They picked berries until the sun started to fade. They found their way back as it was almost sunset. Kish went to find firewood. (after sunset probably hes an idiot)    Illusien (being a fucking furry) started to play with a mouse. She got bored and killed it. (a symptom of both psychopathy and being a furry) She was about to eat it (?>>>????? fuckin furry) when Kish came back.    Kish was going to find some stones to start a fire with. He tried to strike a fire

with stones. (but he fuckin sucks so here we are) Illusien snapped her fingers and the logs burst into flames. (showy littl e cunt)    Kish looked at her. (he does that a lottttT) She smiled, proud of herself. She looked at him. She shivered.    "Good night Kish.“    "Good night Illusien.” Chapter 4: “What do we do?” (slay me already okay. also this chapter is literally 1 page front and back. thats it)

Illusien woke up. Kish wasn’t there. (this is a reoccuring theme)    "Kish?!“ (immediate panic. someone help her)    Kish was sitting on the cliff by the water fall. (okay so i have no idea why this is her immediate thought) "I wonder if I can fly or float or something like Kish,” she thought. (HOW DO WE KNOW HE FLIES??? THIS IS THE FIRST EXAMPLE AND LITERALLY NO ONE SAW HIM DO IT) She concentrated. The she floated up. She opened her eyes and flew foward slowly. She tapped down gently beside Kish. (nice to know she magically learned how to fly and is instantly incredible at it)    "Kish?“    "Yes, Illusien,”    (get ready for it. PREPARE YOUR SELF) “What do we do?” —

(OH GOD. OH GOD YES OH YES LMFAO YES)    "Lord?“    "Yes, Malaki?”    "We’ve located her.“    "Good. (fave fav e fave) Destroy her not. Lead her to me.”    "Lord, what shall we do about the boy?“    ”(THIS IS MY FAVORITE LINE) Bring to me him. I want to see the light leave their eyes.“ (?????????????? im like what cause thats not right but ok) —

Illusien waited for a reply from Kish. It was hard for Kish to say what to do. He did want to go through with it. (with what i m)    Kish thought a moment and then realized it had to be done.    "Illusien, we have to kill Xalador. If he doesn’t die, we surely will and the whole world will be under his control for all eternity. (i m laughing so hard rn)” Kish couldn’t look her in the eyes. He knew it was dangerous. But so was the rest of her life.    One mistake and all of Glacitoria will be gone forever, he thought. Or at least as we know it.    "Okay. But one question. How do we kill him?“ (illusien asking the important questions)

—

(wtf is this and why did i change povs and shit)    All of her past lives, thought Kish,she has defeated her enemies. Throughout all her reincarations she hasn’t failed. But what if this time, she doesn’t suceed??

—

Illusien looked around. Crack. Another crack. Something was out there. A dark shadow. It came closer. Then everything went black. (THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR A NARCOLEPTIC EPISODE)

—

Chapter 5: Captivity (?)

Kish woke up. He looked around. Illusien was gone.    "Illusien!”    No answer. He waitied, she didn’t come back. He started on his way. He decided to fly up to see where was. No movement. He couldn’t see anything in the dense forest. He realized he had to track her, (this was good until this point right her) or lose her forever. (F ucKin)

—

Illusien startled. She sat up and rubbed her eyes. Kish, she thought. She opened her eyes. She was not by the stream anymore. (THE WRITING IS SO LIGHT RIGHT HERE JFC)    Illusien felt the tears well up in her eyes. (shes a cryer unfortunately)She didn’t know where she was. A figure appeared in front of her. He smelled charred. (HE SMELLED OF BURNING FLESH. WHAT A FUCKING GREAT DESCRIPTION 12 YR OL D ME BYE) And dingy. (nice. a real man) He leaned down and gave her a hand. (like a real anime gentleman) When she stood her green eyes met his equally murky eyes.    His dark hair blew in the wind (fuck) as he looked down at her. (wait i lied this is my favorite line) He didn’t look like a kidnapper.    "Hello.“ He said with a (totally sugoi) bow. (who the fuck does this little shit think he is.) ("I just met you and this is crazy. But i just kidnapped you. so fuck me maybe”)    Illusien though for a moment, then said, “Hello.” though “why did you kidnap me” would have been more appropriate. (narcolepsy man)    His murky eyes glistened (ANIME). Suddenly, she (sighhh) felt weak in the knees. She couldn’t move, she couldnt run, she couldnt (fucking stop making run on sentences?) do anything. (its the GHB in your system, honey. hes a creep.)    He was (no good god why did) even more handsome that Kish. (not rly tbh) He was hypnotising. Finally, he spoke up. (did they just stare at each other for like 2 minutes bc)    "My name is Luke. I have saved you.“

—

"My lord, we have lost her.”    "Well, then Malaki, find HER!“    "Lord Xalador.:    "Yes Jesse”    "Malaki you tell him.“ (pussy)    "Lord, we think she has found the boy.”    "Do NOT (underlined very heavily) let them get away!!“ (they already…ok) —

Illusien sat across from Luke. It was all confusing to her. (you are too trusting. he could be anyone. he could be a serial killer. a rapist. i mean. you faint all the time. you  need to g et away) The journey had not yet begun (what mother fuckin journey are you prattling about) and where was Kish? "I have saved you” From what?    She took a bite of the delicious (why was i such a fuckin weeb) rice cake, it was delicious (SLAY Me). Then she looked at Luke. (she looked at look is what i wrote the first time lmao) He stood. She stood too.    "Luke?“ (she always addressed people by their name like theres someone else there)    "Yes?”    "What have you saved me from?“    (DRUMFUCKInrOLL) "Mikish.”    "Mikish?“    "Yes. You must not believe him. He is a deciever!” (did i just watch spy kids 3)    "Kish?“ Illusien said. "He just doesn’t seem the type.” (what exactly is the type? since….theyre decieving you???)    "Oh but he is. He works for Xalador!“ (zaxbys he works at zaxbys)    "What can you tell me about Xalador ?( :D)”    "He is new to Glacitoria. Very young. In the four months you have been in Glacitoria he have been rising, plotting your downfall.“ (it has literally been like 3 days max. MAX)    "Why was I chosen?”    "You will find out. Illusien, you are the light. You are our queen, and our savior. Now, you should be worried about destroying Xalador.“ (he dont know. cryptic little shi.t)    Illusien looked up. She didn’t remember who she was anymore. (??) She turned to face Luke, who was standing behind her.    "Luke, I don’t know who to trust, anymore.”    "You can trust me.“    "Well. That’s exactly what Kish said.” (SASS)

—

Lord Xalador stood. He was ready to destroy all surrounding him.    "Malaki (i cant wait till i ge t to the glorious mispelling of his name), why is it the simple things I ask of you and Jesse, never get done!“    "Sir, we try our best.”    "Your best is not suitable!“ (wreckd)    "Lord, may we add that–”    "Jesse, fetch me Mikish.“ —

Illusien looked up (she does that a fuckin lot) throught the trees. The tall oak she was under glistened with dew. "You can trust me.” Can I really trust him? she pondered. Is he right about Kish?    Luke walked around the tree to where Illusien was sitting. He looked at her. She caught his gaze and he looked away. (ahh. romance.)    "Illusien?“    "Yes?”    He reached around his neck. He took off his necklace. It had a ruby on the end.    "I want you to have this.“ (white boy gift)    "Your pendant?” (fuckin wait for it)    "No. My promise. ( :) )“

Chapter 6: Lessons

She let her hair down. (god damn it) She brushed through it. (katies annotation on the page: "WHERE IN THE HELL DID SHE GET A BRUSH?”) Luke, it bounced through her head, Luke. (new hotter boy instant crush) She clutched the pendant with one hand. She closed her eyes. (was this it? was this the boy she was going to give her virginity to? was this love? she had his necklace, a part of him, a symbol of his affection. theyd only known each other a day, and he hadnt even asked her to be his girlfriend….but still…the necklace had to mean something….right????)    She looked over at Luke. He was still sleeping. She stood, put out the fire, and went to sleep. Luke opened his eyes (like a fuckin creeper), snapped his fingers and the log burst back into flames. (WHHHHAAAT)

— (HOLY SHIT THIS IS ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD AND I LOVE THIS PART BYE) The sun shone through the trees. Kish was on his way to Xalador’s castle. He was upset with himself. He thought, why did I let her get away? Lord, oh god, the Lord will probably kill me, I wasn’t (best spelling mistake ever) supposeded to let her go.    He shook his head. I didn’t want to bring her in the first place. (!!!!) No use fighting emotions now. He couldn’t believe he let himself fall in love with her. (in 3 days nonetheless. impressive)    He looked up, the castle was just up ahead. He took a deep breath and pushed her out of his head for a moment, and headed inside. (this isnt the part i thought it was)

—

“So who is this Xalador guy any ways? I mean seriously, no one will tell me anything.”    "When the time comes, you will know.“ (this guy is useless. he aint know shit from dirt)    "Why does everyone keep saying that?” (because i was twelve and hadn’t actually come up with anything yet. i literally sat in my prealgebra class and wrote you)    "Because it’s true. You will know the horrible truth when the time comes,“ he paused, "and that is a promise.” (grOSS LITTLE SHIT STOP SAYING THAT)    Illusien looked away. (b-baka!!) She knew he would keep his promise. She clutched her necklace, closed her eyes, and turned to face him.    "What about my brother?“ —

"Mikish, your late.” (a wizard is never late, frodo baggins. nor is he early. he arrives precisely when he means to)    "Yes, my lord, I know, I apologize.“ ("I brought starbucks tho.” “You asshole! I only drink coffee from joe muggs! the cafe inside books a million!! sarah is my favorite barista!1” “OH NO SORRY MY LORD”)    "Where is the girl?“ (he asked, stroking his hairless face. he was a dark lord. why could he not grow facial hair.)    "Lord, you must understand, I, I…I lost her. She was kidnapped in the night.”    "Useless! Everyone of you. Malaki, Jesse, and you, of all people, Mikish I trusted you to bring her to me!“    "My lord! I really,  please I beg of you, one more chance.”    "Fine, Mikish. Get out of my sight.“

—

"Your brother, made it through, that’s true. But I say with a heavy heart, I cannot tell you what has happened to him.”    There was a brief silence between them. She (surprise) looked up at him.    "Teach me. Teach me to control my powers, Luke. I know you have the power of fire just like me. So teach me.“    He hesitated, "Okay Illusien, I promise.” (shuuuuut uppppp) —

(OKAY I LOVE THIS PART LMAO) How could I be so stupid? Kish kicked a tree. I can’t believe I did this. (from this point on katie is writing the scene and im helpingokay sorry. this is us together.) She probobly is sitting with the rebel boy, and he is telling her who i really am. He pulled at his hair in frustration. Lord Xalador expected Kish to bring Illusien to him.    How did Xalador talk me into this? If only I’d known……… (katie wrote: “how much of a slut she is…..” jfc man we were so brutal to this poor narcoleptic furry) Luke looked at Illusien. Her breathing was soft and light. She looked so much beautiful when she slept. (lmfao im dying rn so much beautiful) She was peaceful. The questioning look on her face was gone. (im always so confused by the weird out of context things katie wrote. like wtf was she talking about.)    He could see the damage Kish had done. (da…mag..e…??/) She stirred slightly. He wondered what she dreamt about. Kish had put through her head so many lies. Luke could see she didn’t want to believe him about Kish. (reasonable…since she doesn’t even know you dude.)    Her gentle nature was greater than he had ever seen. (oh not this fucking bullshit again comE ON) Her radiance and beauty were equal to her personality. (nonexistant??? cause really shes kind of like a brick.) (katie wrote: “bullshit! :)”)    Illusien shivered in her sleep. He walked over and covered her with his blanket. She calmed. He wouldn’t need it anyway because he wouldn’t be sleeping anyway. (…..what he gonna do bc,)    Kish would be on his way to find her at anytime and he had to be alert. (right. cause kish is the biggest threat in the whole forest. im laughing too har d omg)

—

Kish wandered through the forest. He couldn’t find her. It’s no use, he thought, the rebel boy has probably taken her out of the woods by now any way. (neg. also THE REBEL BOY WHY DID WE CALL HIM THAT IM GONNA PEE.)    Kish was confused. He wanted to be with her but he wanted her to be safe. (be…with…her……..youve known her like 4 days, kiddo. you just…want…other things ok)    He knew this was impossible, but he couldn’t think clearly anymore.    The other night he had read into her thoughts. He implanted false thoughts and sensed where she was. (sensed where she was?? ok katie PLEASE explain this to me i do not understand your reasoning behind this.) HE COULD DO THAT AGAIN!!! DUH!!!! (i dont think m y commentary is necessary on this lmao) The answer was right there! But did he want to put her in jeporady? (thats how its spelled) (katie loved loved loved the word jeopardy) As soon as they were together again, she would be in trouble. (understatement of the generation. TROUBLE. HA. more like mildly mortal peril)    If he could just decide! Thoughts kept whirling through his head. If he sacrificed her safety for his pleasure (WOW. WOW. WOW. THATS HIGHLY INNAPPROPRIATE WORDING FOR A TWELVE YEAR OLD. WOWZA) he would be a jerk. If he didn’t look for her, he would be killed.    Maybe they just weren’t meant to be………….

—

Illusien stirred. She slowly opened her eyes. It was morning. (WILL LUKE BE THERE.) She looked down and realized that Luke had given her his blanket in the night. The fire had long since gone out.    She wondered where Luke was. She hadn’t seen him since last night. (OH NO)    As hard as the truth is to realize, Illusien said to herself, I’m starting to believe Luke. (under what basis? you’ve hardly spoken to the guy, and the only thing you really know about him is that he’s kinda cute and he smells bad. he told you that the last guy you were with was the bad guy but you didn’t really have any stock yourself that made it fit and you have absolutely no reference that can tell you if thE MAN WHO KIDNAPPED YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT IS TELLING YOU THE TRUTH) (like sorry that birdman jr told you no flamingos when it came to kish but like you dont really know either of these guys) I mean, if kish was really that worried about me, wouldn’t he come looking for me? (girl)    And waht about when I brought up the subject of Xalador? He spoke hesitantly and always seemed to be hiding something. (did he??) Luke, wouldn’t lie to me, would he? (YOU DONT KNOW THAT.)    Luke, she was starting to fall for him. (YOUVE DECIDED THIS IN LESS THAN 3 PAGES) He was handsome and charming. (not the word i would use) But still, she still was getting over how Kish had built up her trust and was going to turn her over to the “Lord Xalador”. (but still she still)    She sensed Luke in the near distance, heading back. (her furry senses were tingling) Illusien quickly made sure her hair was in place, her ears neat, her tail shiny, and that she had nothing on her face. (picturing her grooming herself was the least attractive thing and im sure luke is not into furries either…however…..birdman jr)    Luke approached her. “Good morning.”    "Good morning, Luke,“ she blushed.    "I assume you’re ready for your lessons today.”    Lessons! Shoot! (shoot. shoot. i said shoot) I had forgotten about those. Of course I’m not ready! But I can’t let him know that!!    (katie wrote most of this scene lmao)“Okay, first, Illusien, you need to stand on that rock.”    "Okay, now what?“    "Incenerate that tree!!!” (god)    "What? OH!“ She snapped her fingers and pointed at the tree.    "It didn’t work, Luke.”    "You have to concentrate Illusien.“    She tried again. She thought only of what she was doing. (thats kind of shitty??/ like you have super powers but theyre INCREDIBLY difficult to use. like if you get mildly distracted they don’t work anymore) She snapped her fingers and the tree bust into blue flames. (i wrote that the flames were blue bc blue/white is REALLY HOT FIRE. but….then katie picked up after this paragraph.)    "Luke, why did it burst into BLUE flames?”    "Because the tree posed no threat to you. Your powers are enhanced when you are angry or scared. I am also holding back your power. (HOW IS HE DOING THAT. THATS SO FUCKING RANDOM) If I didn’t, you would probobly set the whole forest on fire.“ She gave him a questioning look. (ME TOO ILLU. What he’s describing as what he’s doing: holding back your power, sounds an awful lot like xalador’s power. because xalador drains the power from others. If Luke has the ability to siphon off her power, that would most definitely point to an ulterior motive in this plot. so thanks for making shit up katie. congrats on being 12)    "Illusien, your power is so great, so powerful, that you have enough to light Glacitoria. So, you could easily set fire to this forest. Your powers need to be controlled. This is what I’m trying to teach you.” She nodded and hopped off the rock.    "As long as you are with me Luke, I think I’ll be just fine.“ (my face right now. just imagine it. like ew no stop jfc) Illusien stared deep into Luke’s eyes (fidskfvcmdcx vfv) . Luke took her hand. (hand is darkened and underlined like 13 times and im so disappointed in katie rn. i trusted her) (thank god i write the next tiny little section)

—

Kish’s anger was getting worse. There was nothing to hold him back. He hated Xalador, but he knew this is what Xalador wanted, but he felt he must find her. (OOPS. NOT FINGER HER OMFG.) (ALSO THAT SENTENCE MADE NO SENSE) The conseqences were great, but he wanted to be with her more than l fe (thats what it says??) itself, and nothing was about to stop him. (oh gross, me. wtg. thats just. no. save me from myself)

—

Luke (was is scratched out) is incredible! He has taught me to control and use my powers. (literally no he didnt. you stood on a rock and he talked about how you were so stupid that you were going to burn the whole world down. which is actually probably right) But what would I do without him, she throught. (IM PISSING @ THROUGHT)    I’m just taking a quick break, but still. I wonder how he knew where I was the other night. (a little thing called stalking..?) Never mind that. (NEVERMIND THAT???? YES MIND THAT. YES MIND THAT WITH EVERY FIBER OF YOUR BEING) Oh Luke’s calling me. I wonder what I’ll have to do now. Oh well as long as I’m with him. I know I’m safe. (YOU DONT KNOW THAT YOU DO NOT KNOW THAT. I REALLY WANT TO HOLD YOU AND TEACH YOU SELF DEFENSE. AND IDK TEACH YOU ANYTHING ABOUT  ANYTHING OKAY IM A CONCERNED MOMMY)

—

Luke looked at Illusien. (he couldn’t believe she was this niave. It was far too easy to get her alone. Insert creepy thoughts here bc that hair is not the scariest thing about him ok) She seemed ready to start again.    "Okay, Illusien, stand on the rock again.”    Illusien stood upon the rock. (fun fact, this whole thing still takes place in my old back yard in my head bye)    "All right, now concentrate, (NO NO NONONONONOONNOONNOONONNONNNNOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOOOOO) (WHY WAS I SUCH A FUCKIKNG IDIOT. THIS IS THE MOST EMBARASSING THIHNG WHY DO I HGAVE TOT TYPE IT) think a feeling, a wonderful feeling, a time or place or thing that makes you feel such a way. Let it fill you. Now fly.“ (JUST KIDDING. LUKE IS ACTUALLY PETER FUCKING PAN GOOD BYE)    She did as he said. She let it fill her. She started to rise. Up higher and higher. She was flying!

—

Kish was still looking for Illusien. He looked up. Illusien, he thought. Now’s my chance!    "Illusien!” —

Illusien opened her eyes, she was falling. The ground was getting closer. (I LITERALLY JUST REALIZED THAT I WROTE THIS EXACT FUCKING SCENE IN VIOLETS THING A YEAR LATER THATS HOW ROMANTIC AND GREAT I THOUGHT IT WAS. BYE) She closed her eyes and braced herself. She felt something catch her and break her fall.    She opened one eye. Luke, had caught her. (unnecessary commas FTW) She blinked.    "Luke,“ her cheeks flushed. (WHY DOES THE TOP OF LITERALLY ALMOST EVERY SINGLE PAGE JUST HAVE "Ichigo” WRITTEN THERE.)    Luke let her down. (she was grateful for that. She would have been much more grateful, however, if Luke would take a god forsaken bath. He smelled so rancid as their bodies pressed against one another. It was off putting.) Illusien stared deep into his eyes. Luke pulled her into a kiss. They were so close she could feel his heart beat. (wow)    It was long and slow. (cool) Illusien finally pulled away at the sound of a rustling in the bushes.

—

Kish stepped out of the bushes. (Sniveling, he tried to look like he hadn’t started to cry, but his eyes were telling all sorts of tales, brimming over with salty liquid. Not tears. They most definitely were not tears. He wasn’t crying.) He had a look of anger on his face. (But it wasn’t anything more than a facade. He was hurt, hurt right down to his core.) Luke stepped out in front of Illusien.    "You stay away from her, Mikish! You’ve done enough damage already!“    (He clenched his jaw, his hatred of Luke allowing him a new strength. His voice came out in a growl, his loathing dripping out the way an angry dog drools, throwing its barks directly at what’s pissing it off.) "Fool. (the best insult in the world) You don’t know who you’re messing with, Rebel. Now step aside, Rebel, she’s mine.”    "No. I won’t. You’re selfish and evil ways won’t prevail. (oh god why did i) Eat fire! (eat. fir re. good by ee. RIP in piss @ me) Luke shot a fireball at Kish. Kish stood. (aflame. He was aflame, burning alive in his own homosexuality) (seriously tho he just stands up like nah u cant burn me bitch )    "I see. But this won’t be the last you see of me. Illusien, I’ll be waiting.“ (thats…it?? wow way to be a man mikish) He took one, longing look at Illusien. She was staring at him with a blank look, her cheeks still flushed from kissing Luke. He shook his head and walked away. He could feel the both of their gazes on him. He just kept on walking. (oh, bae.)

— Chapter 7: Love and HATE

"Luke, ”    "Illusien, we have to be careful now.“    "I know, I just don’t know what to do.” Her tears stained her cheeks. (are they ink bc thats not how that works.) Luke put his arms around her.    "I just worry for your safety, Luke.“ —    (YES MORE ANGRY KISH HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIT) I should have known! Kish hit his head with his hand. How could I be so stupid? She doesn’t love me; she loves the rebel.    He kicked himself. She’d either be his or die at the hand of Xalador. He would take care of the rebel himself.    Oh, how he hated the rebel. He envied him for stealing her heart before he had a chance. Before…….(oops! wait)… Before……….. (before kish was able to lose his virginity?? is that what we’re getting at bc………….. lol)

—-

Luke could’t believe what had just happened. He and Illusien finally had a moment to themselves, what he had be wanting for such a long time, and he couldn’t enjoy it. (you have literally been alone together this whole time i’m/)    Mikish had ruined everything. They had to move on. Mikish would surely tell Lord Xalador their whereabouts.    He hated to see the tears in Illusiens eyes. The look of terror on her face had startled him.    He would do anything for her, even sacrifice himself. (plz do. right now) Her beautiful face had been twisted with fear and he kept replaying in his mind.    He was (god fucking damn it) truly in love with Illusien. (do they live on a planet where love is just constant and always in your face bc) He had never been this way toward anyone else. Now that Kish had been angered (Aangered. lmfao), he would be attacking Illusien’s thoughts more often. (WHY DID I NOT DEVELOP ON THIS. okay its very important to note JUST HOW OVER POWERED KISH IS. Kish literally has the ability to read peoples mind/change their thoughts/manipulate them/possess peoples minds/detatch his own soul from him body. BU T THATS NEVER COVERED. KISH LITERALLY IS SO FUCKING POWERFUL)    And Luke could not see this happen to her anymore. Illusien gentle touched her fingers to her lips. She couldn’t believe Luke had kissed her. (good fucking god no this is some bull) She rememebered seeing Kish and his anger and jealosly (scratched out and corrected to jeluosly and then jealosy. are either of those correct even ) and the hatred in his eyes.    His words would haunt her forever. She flushed at the thought of Mikish. (what)    Luke was right. Kish is just a deciever. What was I thinking trusting him? He was just thinking of himself. She hated Kish. (wow) There were not many she hated. (IM HOWLING RN LMAO)    She leaned against the tree. Still in shock over what had just happened. (thats not a sentence.) She needed Luke more than she knew. (ew good lord, abraham help little me. some force go back in time and just delete this sentence from existence.)    (top of the page reads: “KATHERINE JANE PARR LUVVS THIS BLUE PEN!!!!”) An eerie feeling crept over her. She stood motionless.    "Luke?“ (OH FUCK WHERE IS HE)    Silence.    "Luke?” (UH Oh)    Silence. She (FUCKING HELL THIS TYPO IM LAUGHING SO HARD) turened around. A dark figure appeared behind her. (i hope its luke)    "(man fuck 12 year old me) How dare you deny me. Illusien, (MAN FUCK 12 YEAR OLD ME) oh yes, you shall now have to choose between me and death!“ (bye im dead)    "Kish?” She backed up. “Luke! Help!” (damn it) (this scene is so)    He darted at her. She flew up. She shot a burst of flames at Kish. Luke appeared below her. He shot a burst as well. (this aint a scene) (its a goddamn cry for help)    "Go back to the shadows Mikish.“ (didnt i already say this shit? it was stupid the first time)    "Not without her, Rebel.” (why did we call him that its not cool)    "She’s not going anywhere.“ (why dont we let the lady decide?)    "Then I’ll kill you.” (WHOOOOAAAAAA. WHOAAA. DUDE CHILL.)    Illusien stepped out in front of Luke. “You will not Kish. (why nottttttt its turkey season) I don’t plan on going anywhere with you anytime soon.” The tears poured down her face as she said this. (bitch y u cryin)    "I’m not going with out you Illusien!“ (normally this would be when he became a weird 3rd wheel companion and they became his parents lmao but)    "I’m not going with you, I plan on staying with Luke.”    "I could make you (ew wwww ui dont wanna type this part) b(ereeewwwww) my (fjkldsadhfldjfkldjfkdjkfjdk) pup (py he sai d puppy) pet if I wanted to.“    "But you won’t. So if you would kindly leave.” (WHOA. FIRE QUEEN ICE COLD SIR)    "This isn’t the end. I will never surrender.“ (im so glad i learned how to write dialogue) And he left.    Illusien dropped to her knees. Luke picked her up in his (sighs forever) strong arms. He carried her back to the campsite. (thank god this sce ne is over)

—

Luke laid Illusien down. He looked at her. (way to be a creep. just stare at her. im sure she doesnt mind) He knew it was hard for her. Her first battle, it must have been rough. I’m starting to worry about her though. (random shift into first person ok)    She’s scared of what will happen next. I can honestly say I don’t blame her. (this next part was written so light that i thought the chapter was over)    He kissed her gently on the lips. She smiled back at him. She dropped her head and fell unconscious. (SLAY ME) (BURY ME IN SATIN) (NARCOLEPTIC FURRY MAN)    He covered up. (a gentleman) They could move in the morning. She needed to sleep. Her first battle would be the worst. (I HIGHLY FUCKING DOUBT THAT. THERE WERE LIKE 3 MOVES MADE???? i mean like yeah the first gym leader is harder to beat but like then you get a solid team going an shit but like the elite four??? ok)

—

Kish stomped off. (surprise) If only he could lure the rebel and Illusien somewhere towards the castle. Or at least get them away from each other. But Illusien wasn’t ready fight yet and Killing the rebel with her alive would cause her to hate him, although she already did. (what is happening)    He sat down. He had to come up with a plan. Just what would he do? (who knows man)

—

"Jesse, has he found them again?”    "Yes my lord. He had told us where they are.“ (how ???HOW YALL BITCHES AINT GOT PHONES????????????????????? TELL MEE. like i just came up with a way literally right now but i was 12 so)    "Good. If Kish has fought them–”    "He has.“ (imagine Xaladors face at being interrupted. imagine the angry egg salad)    "Then she will be weak. She will have to rejuvinate the entire night.” (ooooohhhhhhhhh so tough to do??? like go to sleep shes really good at that)    "Yes sir, that is correct.“    "Malaki, send some troops (this is where the random troll army comes in???) in. I want to capture her while she’s weak.”

—

Illusien opened her eyes. She was feeling better. Luke was sitting by the fire. (INCREDIBLE. HALFWAY THROUGH THE NOVEL WE SEE SOME INCREDIBLE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. LUKE IS THERE WHEN SHE WAKES UP FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER.) She stood. She walked over to Luke. She sat next to him. (good sweet bagel bread wtf is this bullshit why )    "Luke we have to do something soon.“ (damn not even a good morning)    "I know. But I don’t want to lose you.” (bitch aint no one said shit about losing no one?? chill)    "Luke, you won’t. And that is MY promise.“ (deep fry me and put chocolate sauce on me because im so fucking done)

—

(this whole next page is scratched out. who knows what it holds but im gonna decipher it) Luke looked at Illusien. she was worried and knew they had to move soon. He looked into her murky green eyes, then looked away. (jfc man. youre so pathetic)    "If anything happened to you, I’d never forgive myself.”    "And I’d never blame you, Luke. I love you.“ (BYE FELICIA. IM DONE WITH U)    He pulled her close. she buried her face in his chest. She looked up at him.    "We have to kill him soon.” (NOW WE’RE TALKING. THIS IS WAHT I CARE ABOUT GIRL)    Illusien looked at Luke. (they do that so much) (also looked at look. ive always done that so muc h lmao) She held her breath.    "I know we’ll head there soon. Just not yet. You’re not ready.“    "Luke will I ever be read? Of course I won’t. But I know what I must do and I intend to do it.” She pulled away from Luke.    "At least rest the night you’ll need your strenghth (lmao). Promise me this.“    Her cheeks flushed.  "Fine, but we’ll head tomorrow.”    Luke pulled her into another kiss and her flush disappeared. She didn’t pull away. He broke away and kissed her forehead. “Good night.” Chapter 8: Destiny’s light

(at the the top of this page i wrote: “IM CHECKING OUT AT 11:30!!!!!” and katie wrote underneath it: “YOU GAY CRACK MONKEY” good lord) “Illusien must die now. Jesse, I cannot wait any longer. Malaki’s troups (is that the correct spelling i dont think so) should have found them by now.”    "Yes, my lord, we understand.“    "Hurry, we don’t have all night.” — “Luke I can’t sleep anymore.”    "It’s alright then. Just sleep as much as you can.“ (when the narcoleptic furry cant sleep)    (this whole part is scratched out, but as the rules say, i have to type it) Illusien scooted closer to Luke. (lol no wonder. Katie wrote like this whole page) He looked away.    "Illusien.”    "Yes, Luke?“    "Maybe it’s best if we…..”    "Yes?“    "Nevermind, Illusien. It isn’t right.” (is he askin to fuck bc)    "Okay…..“ She gave him a quesitoning look. He shook his head. (HE WAS)    Illusien took his hand. He brushed it off and got up. ("That’s not helping my boner, Illu.”)    "What is wrong, Luke?“    "Nothing.”    "Don’t say that. I know something is wrong. You don’t brush me away from you for no reason.“ (???? im lost af tbh.)    "Alright, it’s just that I keep thinking that you and me together are bring Mikish here. He seems to be drawn to us.”    "I don’t think so. It’s just his jealousy of you.“ (okay so disregard everything in that blurb because it makes no sense)    "I just can’t help feeling you know if he’s watching our every move.” (??? what does this even mean or say) `    "I know I get the same feeling.“ She looked at him dead in the eyes. (notice she didn’t look him dead in the eyes. she was dead in the eye in this sentence. amazing what one word can change)    "And that’s why I seek your comfort.” (they fuckin yall) —

Why did I tell them where they are? Kish felt like a total idiot. Now she will die. This massacre of my own heart, killing itself and all others in its path. (THERE I AM. LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFUL METAPHOR. I WAS IN THERE SOMEHWERE)    Hot tears streamed down his angry face. He hated her, he loved her. He hated the rebel, the rebel loved her, she loved the rebel back. He hated himself. (man this is good. of course i could write angst)    He looked to the sky. A cloudy night. Ugly, he said to himself, just like the rest of this world, all of the world, (especially Luke. Goddamn that fucker was ugly), except her.

—

Illusien sat away from Luke. She closed her eyes. She turned away from him. After their conversation she could bear to look at him. She knew he was trying to protect her but of ocurse she wished they didn’t have to worry about each other’s safety. (healthy relationships normally don’t have that element)    Illusien wiped the tears from her eyes. If Luke hadn’t saved her she would be dead. But of course, now he pushed her away. The tears came again. (GIRL YOU DONT NEED A MAN. MAYBE A HOSPICE NURSE, BUT NOT SPECIFICALLY A MAN)    She heard a nose. (not a noise. a nose) Then a rustling in the bushes. She looked, the movement stopped. (this part is so ?/?) Her hair had grown long. She picked at it. The rustling resumed. (the fuck was that about lulu. why was that a necessary detail @ 12 yr oldme)    Luke stood. Illusien looked at him. (THIS PART IS SO WTF WHY DID I DO THIS BECAUSE IT AINT MAKE A LICK OF SENSE) Then thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands (thats a v big jump in numbers) of Malaki’s troups poured in.

—

“My lord, I have good news.”    "What is it Jesse?“    "Malaki has found them and the ambush is in process as we speak.” (UHM HOW DOES HE KNOW HOMIE)    "Good. Tell Malaki to kill no one. Bring them all to me.“

–

Illusien let out a scream as she was quickly aprehended. It all seemed like it was in slow motion to Luke.    (this is my favorite part) "ILLUSIEN!!!!!”    He fought the troups. He made his way to Illusien. He was in arms reach of her hand. He went for it, but just grazed her fingers.    "I’m sorry,“ he called back. He looked at the face of the one holding her. Maliki himself. (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MALIKI) The scar across his face contrasted her beauty. He was pulled away. Tears stained his eyes. (inky ass tears) He was trampled, and that was the last thing he saw, troll feet. — “Illusien.”    She blinked awake.    "Illusien.“    Her dream faded. She was alone. (yet another kink coming guys. i do not disappoint.) The rusty bars gave away her location. Xalador’s dungeon. A gruff voice mumbled behind her. (and to the end of the line we have <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3)    (And here, I blatantly stole shit from Aladdin, a movie that Im not even fond of) She turned. An old man (????/??) sat behind her. He saw the tears on her face. (i wish yall could see my face right now because i am looking so concerned for this b)    "What’s the matter with you?”    "I just want to see them one last time.“ (girl chill dont be laying it all on this brother. YOU AINT KNOW HIM)    "Who?”    "Luke and my brother.“    "Ah the love of your life and the brother you miss dearly.” (yeah, martha stewart we don’t need your commentary)    "Yes.“    "Well, I can’t promise you’ll see this Luke person again, but you will see your brother again.”    Then he seemed to disappear. She was once again alone. (WHERE DID HE GO. WHAT HAPPENED. WHAT SIGNIFICANCE DID THAT HOLD)

—

“Lord, she’s in the castle dungeons."        "Good job, Malaki. Now resume your post.” (which is?)    "Yes, sir.“    "Jesse, go check on our other prisoner. He might like to see Mikish,” he said with an evil smile. (THE TRIFECTA)

—

Luke woke to a great darkness. The silence was eerie and there was little light. (theres little light in this story anyway. as in little hope that its ever going to get better.) (I JUST REALIZED WHAT PART THIS IS AND IM GOING TO VOMIT) A red crystal appeared in the distance. It light up the darkness. There seemed to be no ground. He seemed to be floating between life and death. (how does that seem exactly)    A slight humming noise accompanied the crystal. It was growling (i think i meant growing) closer. A sound was comming from the crystal, getting louder as it grew closer. A heartbeat.    It grew closer and closer until it shattered. The beating still growing louder and louder. then he realized it was the beating (blehgggg) of (ew) her broken heart. (????/ she aight actually.)

—

Kish was in pieces. He had been called to see Lord Xalador again. He knew that they had found Illusien and the rebel boy. (scratched out bc i was literally about to PUT IN ANOTHER GUY BECAUSE LULULUKE WASNT WORKING: “He had never even found the chosen boy”) He himself had failed his task. As soon as Xalador released him, Malaki would kill Kish.    Either way, he was dead. Now, he had to make a decision; to run or face his fears.

—

Illusien sat alone. She kept thinking about how she would die and never see Luke or her brother again.    "Amber?“    "That name sounds familiar.”    "Amber is that you?“    "I don’t know you! I don’t know any Ambers!” (poor narcoleptic furry with amnesia)    Then she saw the face, the familiar face, but then it disappeared. she cried. (surprise) The tears came without control. Then she stopped, a glimmer of hope. She felt it come over her. She would see her brother again and she would see Luke. She didn’t know how, but she would.

—

Luke’s dream faded. (look at my amazing dictation that definitely never repeats itself.) His breathing was heavy. (he had a good dream apparently lmao) Sweat rolled down his face. He saw the bars. He had been captured.    What about Illusien? (written in my secret code with katie that we used through middle school is this guys name: jake, its spelled star-of-david, comma, backward k, e with a tilda over it. nice) She couldn’t be dead yet! He remembered his dream. Then he rememebered how he had treated her. (dude shut up. that was like the newlywed version of an argument and im not even sure why you started it)    "Lord, let her be alive!“    Footsteps echoed throughout the dungeons. He sat up straight. The solemn face that looked back at him was none other than (the bae) Jesse.    "You all set?”    "No.“    "Tough luck.”    "Tell me.“    "Tell you what?”    Luke grabbed Jesse by the collar of his shirt. (i guess through the bars)    "You know what I mean Jesse.“    "Oh! The girl. Yes. She’s alive. Not for much longer though.” (sass)    "My brother, you’re making a huge MISTAKE. I can’t believe you w—“ (katie was like "whore amiright” and i was like “would do this???”)    "Jesse, the guest is here.“    Kish walked in. He didn’t show any emotion on his face. Luke walked away to the other side of the cell.    "Now Kish, you realize my brother is here on your account.”    "Yes I do.“    "Well I’ll leave you two alone to talk.” Jesse walked away.    More footsteps sounded, then a door closed.    "Look rebel, I didn’t want to hurt her. But you on the other hand–“    "It’s your fault. She’ll DIE because of you. Your selfish ways have once again left another to die. If she dies, we all die. Me AND you.” Kish looked away.    Kish said nothing more and turned and left. Luke knew he had to save Illusien soon or they would both perish.

—

Illusien startled. The clanking of metal and the jingle of keys.    "The time has come.“

—

Jesse came back. This time he unlocked the door. Then pulled Lukes arms around his back. (that sounds way different than its meant. it sounds like he made luke hug him)    "I’m sorry, Luke, but now is your time.”

—

(sexual tension oooooo) Malaki forcibly pulled Illusien out. (more kink from me. im so fucking sorry im so sorry) He pulled her against him. “My, my, what a beautiful girl in such an ugly dungeon.” (KATIE ACTUALLY WROTE THAT DIALOGUE LMAO)    "It’s people like you that put me in this position.“ (SASS FROM LULU) Malaki slapped her across the face. Her cheek grew red. A sly smile ran across his scarred face.    The anger seared inside her. She felt the flames enclose her. Everything came naturally. (NEVER HIT SOMEONE FOR NO REASON DICK HEAD) She sent all her force at him. He was knocked down. He laughed. (he fire proof too??? this some bullshit)    Her grabbed her once again and took her out of the cell. (you aint run or nothing lulu????) Chapter 9: Betrayal

Luke had seen and heard what Malaki had done to Illusien. (goddamn it shut up) Thankfully, she was alive, when she passed by him he was relieved. But, then again, Malaki was so cruel to her. (CRUEL MALIKI)    Luke was drug along behind her. Being so close to her was hard for Luke. (why? can u not control ur bonerz?) He thought back on what he had said. Mikish was the least of their problems now.    He walked on. Being held by Jesse was one of the worst experiences. His own brother was leading him and the most beautiful woman he had ever met (is that really an important detail at this point in the plot????) to their death. (their singular death. they are one)    He stood strong and fought the tears (lmao be a man fight those tears birdman jr)  for he feared her life more than his. (noble tbh)

—

Illusien walked with her head down. How had Malaki absorbed her attack? (tbh i wanna know) She was scared. (A FUCKING UNDERSTATEMENT SHE IS ABOUT TO DIE TO SAY SHE IS ONLY SCARED IS A BUNCH OF B-O-L-O-G-N-A: bullSHIT)    She daren’t look at Luke. (bye. kill me) The pain she felt inside was more than she had ever felt. She loved Luke more than anyone or anything. (please get counselling illu im concerned)    She (oh god this is tHE WORST SENTENCE IN THE WHOLE THING) left a trail of tears (like the one native americans were murdered on hell yeah) as she walked. She said nothing. No sound could be heard but the sound of footsteps on the stone ground. The came to an arch. It was golden, studded with precision. The jewels glimmered.    Past and through the arch, sat a shadowy figure sat on a throne. Xalador, Illusien knew right away. This moment she had dreaded for so long was now happening.    She caught Luke’s gaze. She looked at him with longingness. (please)    "I’m sorry, Illusien.“

–

Finally the moment is here, the moment of my triumph. Xalador grinned. He would soon rule all.    He saw (weesnaw) them walk in. He felt another energy as strong as Illusien. Where was it coming from? (where tho)

—

Kish stood next to Lord Xalador. He looked at Illusien but he said nothing. Luke looked upon him hatefully.    Xalador sighed dreamfully.    "Thank you, Mikish, for making all this possible.” He saw Illusien’s gaze shift to Kish and back again.    Kish said nothing and just stood attentively.

—

Illusien directed her eyes in the direction of the shadowed Xalador. Why was he holding back his identity?    The moonlight was shining through the glass in the roof in the center of the room. They stopped under the light.    Illusien looked up, a full moon. Jesse and Malaki walked away to let them stand. Neither Luke or Illusien had enough courage to move at this point.    Suddenly, a familiar voice rang through the room.    "Well, well, well, this is Illusien? What a disgrace. A puny girl, what an opponent. But then again, looks are decieving.“ Illusien let out a laugh.    Xalador stood. He took a few steps. Then stopped.    "Mikish, follow me.” Mikish did so, obviously in fear for his life. Xalador resumed his leisurely walk. Growing closer and closer to Illusien. He finally stopped.    She could see his face. She then knew why he had hidden his identity.    "Hello, sister.“ A cold shimmery wave was sent down her spine.    "Hello, Alex.” The fear inside her was overtaken by her anger. Hot tears streamed down her face. “Tell me why.”

—

“You, that’s why. Ever since our birth you’ve been better at everything. That’s why when you passed through the arch, and you became the most powerful being on Glacitoria something had to be done. (he h8 u)    "So I created an army and moved into this abandoned caste, rightfully yours, of course. I sent Mikish after you,” Kish looked down in shame. “And sent men and trolls (TROLLS THO WHY TROLLS) after you. And now you are mine to dispose of.” He had a look of pure glee on his face. (the original shitlord)

—

Luke looked at Illusien. The truth was hard for her to grasp. He had never seen such a look on her face before. Fear had disappeared from her face and anger seared inside of her.    He had been silent for too long. He had been still too long. It was too much to bear.    "So you became a tyrant because your own flesh and blood–who would never do anything to hurt you–is a little better than you?“ (PREACH LUCANTHROS)  (wait i made that joke too early) He walked over to Illusien, "What guts that takes.” Luke grasped Illusien’s arms.    "Who’s the wimp?“ (nice)

—

(in parenthesis katie wrote: something about illusien remembering childhood here? GENIUS!!! nah tbh) Kish watched them. Illusien was soon to be dead and it would devastate him. He saw Xalador move closer. He could feel Illusien’s pulse quicken. Luke stood up to him, why couldn’t he?    He ran in front of Illusien. He blocked her the best he could.    "Kish, get out of the way,” Luke said.    "No,“ said Mikish.    "What are you doing?”    "Saving your life.“

—

Illusien was dumbstruck. There she was ready to die, when the reason she was here, decided to save her life.    "Get out of my way Mikish.”    "No.“ (thats so funny to me "do the dishes” “no” “get out my way” “no”) (“get out me car” “no” “get off me train” “i cant”)    "I will kill you too if I must.“    "Then do it.” Xalador grabbed Mikish at the base of his neck. Mikish struggled. The blue bolts of electricity that shot from Xalador’s hands were blinding. Illusien looked away. She heard a loud thump. She opened her eyes. There Kish was lying on the floor, pale, face down.    Dead. (im crying tbh im sorry im weak)    Suddenly he came after Illusien. Luke jumped in front of her. Xalador knocked him across the room.    "Luke!!“

– (this part is so stupid) There was darkness. It seemed to Luke there was no ground. The silence around him sent chills up and down his spine. A red crystal in the distance slowly crept toward him. The beating of a heart gradually getting louder: The crystal and the heart beat growing closer and closer.    Whispers:     LUCANTHROS. lucanthros LUCANTHROS (THATS WHAT LUKE IS SHORT FOR APPARENTLY GUYS. PLEASE BEAT ME UP) (katie wrote: "this is gay. no”)    Realize your strength, your power. Save her, let destiny take it’s path. Let fate decide this battle’s outcome. Do not leave her alone. Take your place as king. (shes right. its pretty homo and not in a good way)

(okay tbh im laughing because kish is way more powerful than all these fuckers. he should be king without illu bye)

—

Luke stood. Xalador had cornered Illusien. The anger seared from him. (illu you can fly and you have fire powers please do something. do not make this pussy save you) Xalador didn’t look away.    "Xalador, put her down.“    "Who are you to tell me what to do?”    "Lucanthros, and I’m ready to take back what’s mine.“    "Oh, ha, another being of ‘power’,” Xalador snickered. “It’s like having your cake and eating it too.” (plz explain what i meant to me)    Luke sent a bolt of flame at him. (A BOLT OF FLAME???? “zip ur lip like a padlock”) Xalador sent a blue jolt (looking for new words to use obviously. im digging in the trenches trying to create some variety up in this bitch) of electricity at him. This carried on, never touching. Illusien could do nothing she just sat there.( like a fucking pussy ass bitch will you plz get the fuck up and aCTUALLY DO SOMETHING YOURE ONLY THE MOST POWERFUL FUCKING THING ON THIS GODDAMN SHIT PLANET WILL YOU PLEASE FIGHT FOR ONCE) She stood to try and help. (FINALLY DUMB CUNT)    Malaki grabbed her from behind. (im so fucking done with this damsel nonsense. ive had it up to my meatballs.) Let alone watching this horrible fight she was now being held by an ugly moron.    She turned to face him.    "Malaki, put me down.“    "No” (NO PUNCTUATION. JUST NO)    "Okay then.“ She kicked him in the (dick plz say in the dick) knee (dammit) as hard as she could. He dropped to his knees. She punched him hard in the mouth (only really succeeding in nearly breaking her hand and getting her hand cut up by his teeth im sure) then grabbed his knife and stabbed him through the heart. (DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO STAB SOMEONE ILLU. ITS REALLY FUCKING HARD)    She wiped the blood on his shirt and grabbed the knife and pulled it out. Malaki’s breathing turned to gasps for air. Then he became silent.    Illusien turned. She thought back on what she had done. (it literally just happened. you need to) She shook it off. She had to help Luke. (HONEY YOU NEED TO HELP YOURSELF MAMA *demyx voice* RUN RUN AWAY)

—

Luke was dodging Xalador’s attacks the best he could. His strength was depleting. He sent one last blast at Xalador. He gasped for air. Xalador was closing in on him. Closer and closer yet. (kill him alex)    Xalador stopped. His eyes went blank. He fell limp to the floor. Malaki’s knife stuck out of his back. (thats it? literally that is so weak.YOU HAVE FUCKING FIRE POWERS. YOU GUYS COULD HAVE ROASTED HIS ASS LIKE CHARLIE SHEEN) Illusien wept into her hands. Luke ran over to comfort her.    "Why? I killed them, I killed them both.” (you are the worst character i have ever made) Illusien wept harder, “I spent all this time looking for him, and he just wanted to kill me.” (bitch you were not looking very carefully. you were busy wandering in the woods pointing out woodland creatures and trying to find the D where ever you could get it tbh. smh)    "I’m sorry. I just couldn’t bring myself to tell you.“ (BECAUSE YOU FUCKING KNEW THAT SHE WOULDNT BELIEVE YOU. AND IF SHE DID SHE WOULD NEVER HAVE FOLLOWED YOU, SHE WOULD HAVE NEVER FOUGHT HIM. SHE WOULD HAVE HIDDEN.) (ITS A FUCKED UP SITUATION LUKE BIRD)    "It’s alright. (IT IS NOT) I just can’t believe I killed him.” Luke put his arms around her. She opened her eyes. Kish!    She broke away from Luke. Kish, he was dead. (THATS ALSO A FUCKED UP SITUATION) She held him close to her. She let him down and sat there. Luke sat next to her. He took her hand.

— (I JUST ABOUT PISSED MY PANTS THIS PART IS WAY TOO FUNNY WHY) Jesse walked back into the room. He realized what he just missed. (like did he go get some popcorn??) There were three bodies on the floor. Only one of them was suppose to be dead. (…that means they were going to kill Kish anyway…thats really)    He grabbed his knife from his hip. He started on his way to Luke. Luke stood and caught his hand. (dude)    "What now, Jesse?“    "Why aren’t you dead?” (“cause we won duh”)    (this part please help me) “Cause I’m smart like that.” (i)    "Oh really? Well I’ll show you smart.“    "Stop Jesse you don’t know what you’re doing.” (that is the most monotone sentence)    "I know pretty damn (KATIE SCRIBBLED DAMN ALL THE WAY OUT) well what I’m doing. Taking care of the problem in my life!“ (jesse. this literally did not work half a second ago. chil l) Jesse dove at Luke, he dodged. (hes fuckin untouchable.) (SPEAKING OF WHICH I LITERALLY NEVER ELABORATED ON WHY MALAKI WAS COMPLETELY IMMUNE TO FIRE)    "Trust me you have no idea what your doing.”    "I know what I’m doing so just give up!“    "No.” (lmao)    "Fine, I’ll kill you both. And don’t argue with me. Since I’m the only one left, you’ll either (??/?) become my slaves (????? dude chill a sec) or die, your choice.“    "As welcoming as that sounds, no thank you. We don’t do evil.” Illusien said with a smirk. (bitch you gotta go.)    "No body asked you bitch.“ (WOW JESSUP I NEED TO WASH UR MOUTH OUT WITH SOAP) Jesse pointed at her. (ok what pointing going to do cause you cant do anything unless bitches asleep) Luke shot him an evil look.    "I’ll give you ten seconds to get out of here. As long as you stay in a hole and leave everyone alone, we won’t have a problem. 1, 2, 3…”    Jesse made a sour face. Then turned to leave (????? man you give up way too easy) but Luke grabbed him from behind. (incEST)    "I actually have a better idea.“

Chapter 10: Secret Emotions

(why did i write this chapter is actually the title) (jessup immediately makes me angry lmao) I can see why Luke loves her. You can see all of her emotions plainly. She’s beautiful and sees the good in people even when there is none. (NAME ONE INSTANCE PLEASE JESSUP) She even hesitated to killl Malaki (no she didnt) and Xalador when they only wanted to see her die slowly and painfully.    Of course she loves HIM. (she actually knows him better than you so yeah that acTUALLY MAKES MORE SENSE THAN HER LOVING YOU DUMB ASS) She would never love me. (cause you’ve been a little shit so far) How I envy Luke. And how did I end up here?! Seriously, the dungeon?    I hate Luke. He has everything I never could have. Including her. (you NEED TO TAKE A CHILL PILL AND RE-EVALUATE)

—

Illusien looked up at Luke. (she had literally been sucking his dick for like an hour. when was he going to finish) (im sorry) (SHE LOOKS AT HIM ALL THE TIME) She wanted to sleep and never wake up. She had killed two men. (wow) One of which had been her own brother. She looked at her hands. They were blood stained.    She didn’t feel like crying anymore. You know, she never even cared that much about Alex. (ARE YOU SURE?)  But still, even so, it was like killing herself inside. (emo narcoleptic furry) Malaki deserved what he got tho. (preach)    Jesse was in the dungeons. She was sort of glad Luke hadn’t killed him. (why) Sure she had killed Malaki and Xalador, but she had watched them and Kish die and she didn’t want to see anyone else.    "So I created an army and moved into this abandoned castle, rightfully yours of course,” she remembered that. Xalador had said that in his monologue. (BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL IM PISSING)    "So this castle is mine? Oh, I’m sorry ours?“ (im making a stinky face right now this is so unnecessary i did not sign up for this)    "Yes.  You can kick me out whenever you want…..” (plz stop)    She pushed him, “Shut up!” He laughed. (his laughter echoed through the halls. the dead bodies did not laugh.)    "Like I could ever get rid of you.“ She gave a playful smile.    "Oh and your highness, what do we do with the bodies?” (totally a question you ask in a playful, flirtatious manner.)    "Give them a proper burial, at least Kish anyway,“ she paused. "And don’t call me that!” (this is all katie get ready lmao) (this was written in the dark by the light of my alarm clock after my parents told us to go the fuck to sleep)    "Did you love him?“ (BUT DID YOU DIE?)    "I thought I did, but i could never love somebody who decieved me and lied straight to my face.”1    "He loved you, Illusien. Very much.  I could see it written all over his face everytime he looked at you.“    "I know I saw that too.”    "To be honest with you, I was worried. When I first rescued you, I could see the fear in your eyes when I told you Kish was an imposter. You didn’t want to believe me. (well duh) I saw the look in your eyes when I said his name. The same look as when you look at me now.“ (how quaint) (recycled love)    "It was hard for me but….”    "Let me finish please? (IMMA LET YOU FINISH BUT. KISH WAS THE BEST LOVER BOY OF ALL TIME. JS) The moment I saw you, I knew I loved you. (ew?) At first, I thought you wouldn’t love me back because of Kish. You thought you owed him something when in reality he owed you his life. (OH SO HE DESERVED TO DIE. THATS WHAT YOU JUST SAID. THIS IS SUCH A DICK CONVO) The day when you had flying lessons with me and you fell, he saw your face when I kissed you. Sorry, but your facial expressions give everything away. (get ready for a katie-ism) Your face is a whiteboard of emotions. (the fuck that mean) He realized what was happening and he resorted to anger.“    "I felt guilty because I kissed you in front of his eyes. He was so angry, it scared me.”    "It scared me too. I think the kiss is what drove him to tell Xalador where we were. I could see that he later regretted his decision. He hated me but couldn’t do anything about it. If he killed me, you would be in jeporady. (lmao) If he took you away from me, you would be taken to Lord Xalador. He was torn between you and Xalador. The only reason he served Xalador was so he could live. He only wanted to live, to see you. Kish was a complex person. (???) It was too bad that he misleaded you. But now I’m here to love and protect you (from nothing now lmao) and nothing can stop that.“ He looked at her. Her face was distorted with tears. (NOT A GOOD WORD TO USE WOW) She looked up at Luke.    "That was so sweet, Luke.” (NO IT WASNT)

—

Luke saw the tears in Illusien’s green eyes. He didn’t aim for this. Now was supposed to be a happy time for the both of them. (uh no its not.)    But now, he made Illusien cry. Come on stupid, think! he thought.    "I’m sorry Illusien. I didn’t mean to make you cry. I–I….“ she stopped him.    "Don’t be Luke.” He stopped talking. She seemed to bend reality with her beauty. (NOT A GOOD TIME FOR THIS) They stared into each other’s eyes for what seemed forever. (quit)    "May I Illusien?“ (may you what)    "Yes Luke”    And they kissed. (ew) Luke looked at Illusien’s face. All her emotions showed on her face. She was relaxed now. He held on to the back of her head. (THAT SOUNDS REALLY VIOLENT LIKE HES GRIPPING HER BY HER HAIR) She broke off as if she had remembered something.    "What about your brother, Jesse? (“I’m gonna make torture porn with him and sell it online”) Where is he going to go now?“ She looked worried. He wondered why.    "For all I care he can rot in the dungeon.”    "Well we have to go down to him.“    "Why?”    "Just because he is evil, doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve any mercy. He is your brother after all.“    "That’s one thing I hate but, love about you, you can see the good in everyone, even my brother.”

—

Jesse was listening. He could hear every word they were saying.    "Well I choose to see good things and not bad,“ she said with a flip of her hair. Luke gave her a sly smile.    "Let’s at least check on him.”    "Fine.“ Jesse sat as if he knew nothing. (how do you do that) The door opened. Footsteps sounded.    "Okay, we’ve checked on him. Let’s go.”    "No, please, Luke, you promised.“    "Fine.”    They walked to him.    "How you doing Jesse?“    "Horrible.”    "So sorry,“ said Luke. "Let’s go please.”    "Stop nagging.“    "Jesse I’m very sorry your down here. But, it’s your ch–” Illusien grabbed Luke without turning around to pull him back. “–ildish actions that caused this.”    "Jesse, I really don’t want to talk to you at this moment,“ Luke let the words escape from his mouth.    "Too bad,” Jesse looked at Illusien, “I’m sorry, it’s just that I really think I can be good now (lmao me tbh) let me out?”    Illusien scooted closer to Luke. “Not on your life, sport.”

—

Luke put a protective arm around Illusien. She smiled up at him.    Oh come on, Jesse thought, do they have to do all this in front me? Are they just torturing me before they kill me? (me too jesse. me too)    "All right Luke, I’m going to look around the castle. You STAY HERE and TALK to your brother.“ Luke opened his mouth to say something.    "Please, Luke?” Illusien motioned to Luke to talk while she was gone. Without another word, she walked out of the room.    Jesse watched her go. (dat ass ma) So beautiful, he thought. Jesse was rammed against the wall. (howd luke get inside the cell) He looked at who rammed him. (cause it could be anyone else only bird man is there) Luke was holding him against the wall.    "Don’t get your hopes up, Jesse. Your heart will get broken faster than you can say 'I’m sorrry.’ (yes with 3 rs) Besides, Illusien is mine. I love her and she loves me. It’s odd. When we were growing up all the other girls liked you. (all the other girls had eyes, luke) But the one girl that actually matters likes me and NOT you.“ He paused a moment. "I wonder why.”    "I don’t care what you say,“ Jesse spat. "I can have anything and anyone I want. (katie really grossly mischaracterizes him) If they don’t cooperate, I’ll MAKE them. I’m far more powerful than Xalador ever was, and you know it.” (thats not true by a long shot sport)    "I know for a fact that if you had half of the brains he had, you would know that you can’t MAKE someone love you.“    "I can if I want to.”    "Well obviously you must NOT have the brains. Perhaps I judged you too fairly.“ (you simple)    "You know that this isn’t a game Luke. You can cheat. And I promise you if you play fair you’ll come in last.” Luke turned to go.    "And Luke, you might want to watch Illusien’s back. Just a fair warning.“ Luke started back toward Jesse but stopped himself. Luke shook his head and walked upstairs.

—

Illusien was worried. She had been heading downstairs when she had heard what Jesse said to Luke.    She quickly ran up the stairs. Luke came up soon afterwards.    "What’s the matter with you?”    "Nothing, its nothing!“    "It’s something. I know something’s wrong.”    "I’m just worried thats all. I’m going up to my room. I’m beat.“    "Your room?”    "Yeah it jas my name on it.“ She walked up stairs and turned the key in the lock. She took out the key and walked into the room.    It was beautiful, light blue walls were decked with tapestries. She saw the bed. She crawled in. She didn’t care what it felt like. She was bushed.

—

Luke turned down the corridor. He saw Illusien’s room. He reached to turn the door knob, but then changed his mind. He walked to the next corridor. Another room sat. He opened the door. He saw Illusien sleeping. (????????????????????????????????)    He closed the door lightly and went down the next corridor and finally found an empty room.    Once he got in, he sat on the bed and lit the candle besides the bed. He buried his head in his hands. What was he going to do about Jesse? What if he carried out his threat?    Illusien must have heard him. She sounded worried. Then again she had a pretty hard day.    He blew out the candle and went to sleep.

—

Illusien sat at Kish’s grave. She was silent. Luke came and sat next to her and put his arm around her.    "Thank you , Kish. You brought her to me, and now she’s safe. You finally got it right.”

[queenviolist-blog]

Adeline’s Story

Adeline’s Story

Life is like a crazy amusement park ride. It has its ups and downs. The joys, sorrows, and everything in between. With every decision, or lack of, your life changes. There is a quote I once read, it said You are always one decision away from a totally different life. The thing is.. With Adeline, I never had a choice.

           I had always wanted to have three kids. When we played “House” at school and even at home, I gathered three baby dolls and said I would be a mommy to three babies. I don’t know why, but three just seemed like a good number. As I got older, I ended up having two of the three kids I wanted. But not who I wanted them with. The guy I married was one of the biggest mistakes of my life and I was glad to have that part of my life behind me. When I first found out I was pregnant, I called the baby “Lil Seed” cuz it was my little love seed, and was about the size of a seed at the time. Then the Hatchimal craze started. My kids were crazy about those things. After being exposed to that term on a daily basis, trying to acquire one, I decided to call the baby Hatchimal because after all, it was a creature that had not yet hatched lol. I had a “regular” pregnancy and besides the extended morning sickness (until the eighteenth week), I felt like everything was fine. Up until my anatomy scan, everything was fine. I was good, and baby was good. I didn’t find out the gender of my first two until they were born, so at the anatomy scan I initially declined to know, but later asked the ultrasound technician to put it in an envelope in case I wanted to do anything later. This is the first time I felt like something was “off” The tech was very concerned with the placenta and the umbilical cord. She left the room to go talk to the doctor. After the doctor came in, I was informed that I had what was called a Velamentous Cord Insertion. This is basically where the cord does not attach to the placenta as it should (in the middle), but mine had attached on the side and had a portion of blood vessels exposed. I was explained that it wasn’t a big deal, but that it may lead to a growth restricted baby in some cases. Otherwise, it didn’t present a danger until delivery, where the cord may be prone to rupture during childbirth and the baby may bleed out.  Of course, they didn’t tell me all that. I read most of that info online. I couldn’t stop thinking about that. I felt like as if a death warrant was issued with my daughter’s name. The next few prenatal visits were uneventful. I discussed my dropping iron levels. Wondered how Anemic I would get. It was nothing new, I was anemic on and off. I always worried about the umbilical cord. That thought was in the back of my mind. But time and time again, I was assured I was fine. I learned that Hatchimal was in the 25th percentile for her weight. Normally, babies should be in the 50th percentile. Not too big, not too small. I was told that since I was petite, my baby was small too. This is why I hardly showed. I tested slightly higher than normal for my one hour glucose test. I blamed it on the cereal and milk I had the morning of the test. I had forgotten to fast, so I ate a small bowl of cereal. I was scheduled to take the three-hour glucose test in late March just to assure that I didn’t have gestational diabetes. I can’t remember at what point, but curiosity got the best of me one day and I opened the envelope and saw the ultrasound pics. At the end, I read “It’s a Girl!” on a pink sticky note. I was ecstatic. I wanted a girl soo bad. I had two already and a third one would fit right in. I don’t know why but the thought of having a boy made me shiver. I couldn’t see myself as a “boy mom.”

I remember the day of March 28th. It started like any other. I took the girls to school and then came home looking for energy. I picked up the girls from school and decided to take them to the pool after school. They swam around happily. I reluctantly got in because the water was really cold. I hate being cold. I noticed that Hatchimal was more sluggish than usual. Normally, this baby would kick me HARD when she was hungry. I wasn’t even hungry yet and she would be moving in there. I would feel her knees and elbows. As soon as I ate, she would calm down. She showed me who’s boss. But on this day, I figured she was sleepy. After washing her baby clothes in Dreft, and sorting them by size and putting them away, I laid down in bed. It was 1030pm when Delilah came and jumped into bed with me to tell me goodnight. I scolded her for being up an hour and a half after her bedtime but still hugged her and rubbed her head. She asked me if she was gonna be a good sister, and I said she was. She told me she would help feed her and give her the green soothie paci and love her so much. At that point, I felt Hatchimal move. I asked if Delilah wanted to feel and she agreed. She put her had on where Hatchimal had moved and Delilah’s face lit up. I sent her to bed. As she left I got an overwhelming feeling of sadness. It came out of nowhere. It kind of freaked me out. I rubbed my stomach and told her to go to sleep too. I feel asleep about thirty minutes later.

I woke up on March 29th to go use the restroom. I noticed I had really bad back pain. I got myself ready because I had the extended glucose tolerance test. Yuck. I hauled ass on Bloomingdale and made it there 6 mins late. Lovely. I hate Bloomingdale traffic. I was poked before taking the sugary drink. I thought “Ok. One of four pokes done” I took the drink, and sat down. They alternated the arms for the blood draws. Four in total. The last test I winced when the needle went in. I remember an ultrasound pic where Hatchimal was wincing. I wondered if I looked as cute as her wincing. I laughed, but thought “I will get pricked however many times I need to as long as you’re healthy Hatchimal” I went to eat at a smoothie place. Ate a sandwich and a smoothie. It was then that I realized I hadn’t felt her move at all that day. I googled it and it said that glucose tests have different effects on babies. I thought it was odd bc I figured that all that sugar would of made her hyper and not sluggish. It wasn’t until 3pm that day that I was laying in my couch that I thought, Have I felt her move? I called my OBGYN and they advised me to go to L&D. I decided to wait because I was soo tired from the testing and didn’t want to take the drive to TGH. I laid there thinking she was asleep anyway, and I think I dozed off too. About 9pm, I decided to go to L&D. I had Braxton Hicks contractions but it was normal due to me being a few days shy of 8 months. I sat in her closet and played with a clear marble that I found on the carpet. I pretended like it was a fortune telling ball. I finally gathered my purse and keys and left. I got there and they recognized my because I had been there four days prior due to feeling “shitty” I wanted a blood transfusion but they said my levels weren’t low enough. I changed into a gown and waited for the nurse. She came in and put the blue strap on and located my heartbeat right away. She then grabbed the pink strap and put it on my stomach. Nothing. She moved it around and nothing. She said that it was maybe bc of how the baby was sitting. She put more gel and moved it around. Nothing. Silence. I felt my face get hot and my heartbeat thump in my neck. Loudly. She left saying that she wanted to get an ultrasound machine to get a better look. She came in with the ultrasound tech. They put more gel, and started the machine. At this point, I have tears welding up in my eyes. To say I was terrified was an understatement. They put the wand over my belly and I saw her. Right away I knew she was gone. I saw her chest and no flickering of her lil heart. They moved the wand around. More people came in. I looked at the Tech’s face. She was biting her inner cheek. I could tell. Her eyelids flickered. Unlike my daughter’s heart. She bit her lips. Pressed them. Then someone else took over. They told me to turn to my side. Then back to my back. By now I have tears running down my face. Finally, after what seemed forever, and after a room full of specialists, the older woman said. “Im sorry. There is no heartbeat” Just like that. No heartbeat. I was stunned. It took a second to scream “Noooooo..My baby” and they all said they were sorry for my loss. I yelled “My baby CANT be gone” I lost it. I cried so hard I had eve liner and mascara all over my face and gown. I told them this was the fourth baby that I lost, and a nurse started crying. They all left one by one until the original nurse asked me what I wanted to do. I could go home and sleep and then come back in the morning after I was rested and ready. Can you believe that? First of all, I wouldn’t of been able to sleep at home knowing my sweet baby was gone. Second, I would of never been “ready” to say goodbye. How do you say goodbye to someone you have never said Hello to? I said I had to go home and get a few things and I would be back within the hour. I left. When I got home, I realized that all along, I had had premonitions and feelings like something had been off. That was maybe why I wanted to get my hospital bag ready with such urgency. Why I felt like I was running out of time, even though I knew that I had eight more weeks. I sat in Hatchimal’s walk in closet. I grabbed the marble that was still on the floor. I looked at all the boxes of diapers she had. The bathtub. Her soaps and lotions. Bottles. Her clothes. I didn’t even know what to take to the hospital. Should I pack clothes? A pacifier? She was gone but what if I wanted to take a picture with a pacifier in her mouth. Then I wondered what she would look like. She was gone. Would she look different than a live baby? I had never seen a dead baby before. I gathered what I thought I would need and left back to the hospital. It seemed so surreal. Going past downtown. Knowing that it was a one-way trip for her. Once I got back to the hospital I grabbed all my stuff. My photography equipment. My purse. Robe. And a makeshift diaper bag with her stuff. I was moved to the Labor and Delivery rooms instead of their L&D triage. They started an IV and put me on Cervadil, which is a labor inducing drug. I tried to get some sleep because besides the Braxton hicks contractions. My body wasn’t ready to let her go.

It was March 30th now. I tossed and turned. Couldn’t sleep. Got 30 mins of sleep. I felt the contractions but they were mild. I spent the whole day waiting. Waiting for the medicine to do its job, and make me contract. Waiting to meet my sleeping angel. I labored and waited.

March 31st made its arrival. It was 9am and the four doses of Cervadil had no effect on me.  Was it possible my subconscious was telling my body to fight it off? I wanted to stay pregnant forever. To have my baby with me. I was still in denial. I was placed on Pitocin since they wanted to speed things along. They gave me the strongest dose they could give. It brought my contractions to 2-3 minutes apart. I was starting to finally feel them. Savages. Just like that, I went from having no pain to moderate pain. I wanted to be as alert and awake as I could be for when my baby got here. I declined an epidural. I never had one, and I figured I never will. Around 1030am I started feeling unbearable pain. I inquired about pain relief that didn’t involve an epidural. They suggested nitrous oxide. It was quick. Easy and the drowsiness wore off a minute or two after I took the mask off. I agreed. It didn’t get rid of the pain but “took the edge off” so I was content. I was checked and was barely at 3cm dilated. The pain quickly came in waves. I looked at my phone and saw that I had 5 seconds of where the pain would build up. 30 seconds of sheer excruciating pain. 5 seconds of the paid going away and 20 seconds of relief. I looked forward to those 20 seconds. I wondered why this was more painful than what I remembered. The only difference was that it was an induced birth, and induced births hurt more bc of the synthetic drugs. Also, she was breech. She was butt down and her head was up. Basically, sitting on my cervix. Her feet in her face like always. At around 11am, I was screaming in pain. The laughing gas did its job for 30 mins but was no longer effective. I was barely 3cm so the nurse suggested something in the IV to put me to sleep since I had to reach until 10cm. I did say yes or no just kept crying. I wanted the pain to stop. At 11:10 she came in with the drug and put it in the IV. I was barely feeling the effects of the coldness coming in through the IV. I was still in pain. I lifted my head and I felt a pop and my water break. (I had never had my water break with the other two; they broke it for me minutes before their birth). I felt a gush of warm fluid come out as well as immediate relief. She was half out. Within my next contraction a few seconds later, she was out. I saw the shock in the nurse’s face. She said, “But you were 3cm dilated!!” She called a code and suddenly the room was filled with specialists. The room was so silent. No cries. No gasps for air. It was a reverent moment. She was finally here. Born at 11:15am. I tried to keep my eyes open but I was very disoriented. I was dizzy and tired. I immediately regretted taking the IV drugs. But who knew that five minutes later I would have her? The things with drugs are, that not just because the baby is born do they stop working. I remember a nurse coming over and saying about something about the umbilical cord. I heard the word “knot”, and “base of her belly” I blacked out.

When I woke up, I was handed her by the nurse with such care. I was still very drowsy and disoriented. I took her carefully. She was perfect. I didn’t cry. I just stared at her. Looking at ever feature. Her eyelashes. Her nose. Her long fingers. Long arms and legs. Tiny toes. I smiled because her beauty blew me away. She had curly hair!! (Mine and the girls are straight hair) I kissed her and just looked at her. The nurse took pictures. They asked me her name. Adeline. Her name was Adeline Yesenia. We had picked the name that same morning. She was no longer Hatchimal. She was now Adeline Yesenia born on March 31st, 2017 at 11:15am weighing 3lbs and 2oz and 17” in length. I was proud.

That day went by fast. I slept most of that afternoon. I was still drugged. Exactly what I didn’t want to happen. I hated that part of my decision. Nurses were in and out checking my temperature and blood pressure. I had extensive bloodwork done. I wondered how much blood they had taken. I felt weak. My friend Gloria came to visit me. I love her. My mom and sister came as well. Even Monsignor Diez came to see me. I will never forget the uplifting conversation we had. I had my baby Baptized. Her baptism was beautiful. I recorded it. I felt like my duties as her mother were satisfied. She was the newest member of the catholic faith. My mom and sister were her Godmothers. I took lots of photos with my own equipment. I also requested a photographer to come in. She was inexperienced, was only there for two months. Nonetheless, I wanted as many pics as I could because I would never see the chance to see her grow up, and photographer as much as I would have liked. I chose a package. I went to sleep for the night.

April 1st, I wanted as much time with my baby as possible. I spend the day changing her outfits and photographing her. I It wasn’t until 8pm that they were ready to discharge me. I had already made preliminary plans for funeral arrangements. I did not want to leave. I wanted to leave with her in my arms. I wanted what every mother wants when they give birth. I wanted my baby home with me. As the time was approaching, I grew more emotional. I was dreading it. I laid with her, Looked at her. Tried to remember her. I didn’t want to forget her. I looked at her curly hair again. Oh, that hair. I kissed her cold little hands. She smelled like Baby Magic. The original one. I looked at her tiny fingerprints. She made a huge impression on me. She left her print in this world. I finally wrapped her in her blanket and put her in the bassinet. Then I was taken by wheelchair out. Leaving behind a piece of my heart. A part of me. I remember the ride home. I felt so empty. There was a truck in front of us with baby feet and angel wings. That baby had passed away at 2 months. How horrible.  I got home and I was greeted by my neighbor and mom. They stayed with me for a bit, then they left. I started shaking uncontrollably. I think I was moaning or grunting. I couldn’t stop. It was like spasms or chills. I don’t know. I went to bed and kept hallucinating. I thought I saw demons amongst the shadows. At one point, I gasped. I fell asleep quickly. I woke up to cold chills, then night sweats. That lasted about a week. I had nightmares. When I was awake, I was too sick to get out of bed. The thing with the body is that it doesn’t know that your baby died. My breast got engorged fast. That was painful. I was so sore. I decided to pump. I had two pumps that were waiting to be used. So, I used them. I felt a lil better. I pumped for about a week. It helped me feel better. I refused to go back to the ER for my fevers. My daughter was at the morgue in the same hospital. Plus, going back would bring too many memories of days prior. I spend the first few days planning Adeline’s funeral.

I ended up having her funeral services on April 7th. Ironically, that was the day I had made an appointment to go back to Meet A Baby to see her “one last time” before she came into this world. I did see her “one last time” but at the funeral home. Not what I was expecting. During the viewing, I took her out of her casket. I wanted to hold her and kiss her one last time. I stayed up there talking to both priests Father Eugene and Father Diez. We had her funeral service and then went out to bury her. I think I was in so much shock that I couldn’t cry. When it was over, I got home and just reflected on her short life. Eight months. From the time, she was created (Yay. Happy Birthday to me!) to when I laid her to rest, it felt like it was too short. My due date was Memorial Day. May 29th, 2017. She never made it. The next few weeks were a blur. Fighting for my benefits I was entitled to. Darn insurance companies. All those years paying my premium. I learned that (Pending the Autopsy Report) Adeline passed away due to an umbilical cord accident by “Hyper-coiled Umbilical Cord” causing fetal hypoxia. Basically, she spun around in there so many times that the umbilical cord couldn’t withstand the torsion and she passed away due to asphyxiation because her blood and oxygen supply were compromised. The Velamenous Cord Insertion did restrict her growth and she had more room to move around in there. Who knew that the cord that were supposed to extend life from me to my child is what failed her. That lifeline, and bond is what ended her life. Have you’ve ever wondered how fragile life really is? It’s extremely fragile. Adeline taught me to appreciate life. Never take it for granted. To laugh until you cry, and cry until you can no longer. She taught me to love unconditionally. She taught me to trust God more than I ever knew. And to look forward to the next day. Because another day gone, is another day closer I am to seeing her again. So, no.. I had no choice to see her go. If it were up to me, I would have wanted her here. I would have given my last breath in exchange to see her take her first. I had no choice to feel this heartbreak, but the choice I did have was to look at the bright side in life. Because, I believe, that is what she would have wanted. I love you Adeline. Thank you for everything.

[lookwhatilost]

there’s an ask meme i see on my dash rn and since nobody will send me anything if i reblog it here, ill jst answer the questions and put them under the cut

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? i dnt use any of them lmfao

is your room messy or clean? messy!!!!! what color are your eyes? dark brown do you like your name? why? i’ve never liked my actual name! i’ve jst always found it to be ugly. whenever someone gives me a nickname, i glom onto it bc i’d rather be called pretty much anything else what is your relationship status? im not dating anyone and im not talking to anyone and tbqh i could not care less describe your personality in 3 words or less superficial space cadet what color hair do you have? brown what kind of car do you drive? color? blue 2010 honda civic. she’s great. where do you shop? forever 21 mostly how would you describe your style? cute but inconsistent favorite social media account as of right now, probably peach. i love my peach ring! and the lack of centralized feed makes it ideal for shitposting what size bed do you have? double any siblings? one brother. he dznt say or do much if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? somewhere cold and far away. i jst want to be somewhere else favorite snapchat filter? i love the dog filter bc they change it up every holiday & i love the milk carton filter bc it’s the best worst thing ive ever seen favorite makeup brand(s) the beauty industry is evil how many times a week do you shower? usually 7 but that’s assuming im not having a severe depression bout favorite tv show? bojack horseman! shoe size? 8.5 or 9, depending on the shoe how tall are you? 5′7″ sandals or sneakers? sneakers! do you go to the gym? only if its too cold to run outside describe your dream date i dnt rly care abt date activities themselves as long as im having a good time w the other person. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? $54 what color socks are you wearing? none! im wearing slippers and theyre brown how many pillows do you sleep with? 4 do you have a job? what do you do? yes. i do hair and i dnt like it how many friends do you have? 2 close ones whats the worst thing you have ever done? omg... like 3 years ago i let this girl use facebook on my phone bc she had her internet access taken from her for some reason. she didn’t log out so i jst kind of kept it logged in bc she was friends with evil nate/this guy who was actively trying to ruin my life (long story) & i kind of wanted to keep an eye on him. anyway she used to meet these weird random guys on a website called myyearbook or something, and while my friend riley and i were lurking, one of them started messaging her all this weird stuff like “i wanna like… fuck your boobs” and we couldn’t like ignore it bc clearly he saw we were online. so we jst kept sending him back things like “that’s nice” hoping he would go away. he kept at it anyway and started pestering her/us for nudes and like… clearly we couldn’t send him any. so we decided to tell him like “sorry i can’t rn” and he got rlly rlly angry and flipped out and told her/us to never speak to him again. he seriously blocked her over it omg it was ridiculous! so we deleted the messages that we had sent behind her back & logged out to keep things from getting any worse. the next time i saw her she was like “yeah i think nick deactivated his fb isn’t that weird?” and i had to pretend like this was new information and not something i was undoubtedly responsible for whats your favorite candle scent? the golden sands yankee candle is my go-to! 3 favorite boy names / 3 favorite girl names i can’t think of any off the top of my head!

favorite actor? favorite actress? who is your celebrity crush? these were 3 separate questions, but i have no personal investment in celebrity culture, so im jst going to answer them all w that. favorite movie? it’s hard to say but i’ve been watching black swan a lot lately do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? i dnt read as often as i’d like to. my favorite book is pet sematary!  money or brains? brains.. duh do you have a nickname? what is it? i’ve had a lot of nicknames and i always sort of latched onto them bc the name on my birth certificate is Fuckin ugly. ppl called me kitty in middle school and janice when i was a freshman in high school. for the life of me i cant remember where either of those originated from how many times have you been to the hospital? idk how many times ive been to the ER or whatever but i’ve had to stay there 3 times top 10 favorite songs i can never think of favorite anythings and they change constantly anyway do you take any medications daily? yeah what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) oily -_- what is your biggest fear? abandonment 😵 how many kids do you want? none whats your go to hair style? i always go back to a blonde bob that’s like, an inch or two longer than my chin what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) jst an average size single family home? who is your role model? dnt have one what was the last compliment you received? i cant remember but it was probably something affirming ian said to me what was the last text you sent? ”#iansrevenge” to ian, obviously how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? fairly young. i dnt remember being too invested in that stuff either way what is your dream car? i drove my dream car for like 3 years and it was nothing but a hassle, so now i no longer have goals or ambitions opinion on smoking? there are worse things. the tobacco industry, on the other hand... do you go to college? lol what is your dream job? LOL would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? rural area. there’s no privacy in the suburbs do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? always do you have freckles? yes do you smile for pictures? sometimes! how many pictures do you have on your phone? 800 have you ever peed in the woods? i’ve been camping many times before so probably

do you still watch cartoons? sometimes but i’m not invested in any do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? i would never cheat on wendy Favorite dipping sauce? buffalo sauce! what do you wear to bed? fleece pants and a t shirt. nothing exciting have you ever won a spelling bee? i’ve never even competed in one what are your hobbies? when you work 40 hours a week you literally dnt have time for hobbies can you draw? i used to all the time but yknow... shit happens do you play an instrument? again, used to. mental illness is a real bitch sometimes what was the last concert you saw? elton john! tea or coffee? tea Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? starbucks!! do you want to get married? no what is your crush’s first and last initial? PASS are you going to change your last name when you get married? i can’t ever see myself getting married but if i do i won’t change my last name unless i like theirs a lot what color looks best on you? white do you miss anyone right now? i miss my friends! do you sleep with your door open or closed? open, usually do you believe in ghosts? yes what is your biggest pet peeve? total strangers standing too close to me in public last person you called` michael favorite ice cream flavor? mint chocolate 😋 regular oreos or golden oreos? regular chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? rainbow 💜 what shirt are you wearing? one of my work shirts what is your phone background? the lacey street theater in fairbanks are you outgoing or shy? definitely on the shy side do you like it when people play with your hair? im indifferent to it do you like your neighbors? i dnt talk to them do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? both! have you ever been high? yes binch have you ever been drunk? im drunk... often last thing you ate? a banana favorite lyrics right now nothing is resonating strongly with me at the moment. my personality has been out on lunch for abt 2 months now and im not sure when theyre coming back. summer or winter? winter day or night? night dark, milk, or white chocolate? white favorite month? october! what is your zodiac sign gemini who was the last person you cried in front of? probably my mom. who knows

#ask memes