Tumgik
#I DIDNT EVEN GET THROUGH ALL OF FUCKING ACT FIVE I GAVE UP AND IM GLAD I DID TBH
spiritcc · 2 years
Note
can i ask for a pyramid scheme of top 5, aka not only best soviet actresses, but also best movies they played in, or will that get me banned for unsustainable business practices
Oof that IS pyramid scheme of top fives and i will do it diligently, alas i am not as interested in gals as i am in pals so i dont actively seek out their movies and the general good vs bad criteria is different. it's guys who i always put against each other and make them fight eg. acting ability/quality of films etc, but all girlies are winning ye know?? like that russian kindergarten memo said, for the ball girls can be dressed as stars and snowflakes while boys are all clowns.
alisa freindlich my queen, just like everyone on this list there is just That in her and her acting that makes it pop, she's very cool and i love her mannerisms and her lesbian haircut
1. who am i to be original, the office romance. peak #look, a great opportunity to actually act, there's both comedy and drama to pull off there, the movie itself is funny as shit like? accept the classics 2. musketeers, not original again. her fingersnapping is hell yee and she's so smug there most of the time, just like in office romance she gets to sing but on screen this time, and the series itself i think need no introduction it's all iconic shit. you win anywhere you go 3. fuck you. stalker. it is the best tark movie and a great movie by itself and she was there for five minutes but she looked cool and also made up her entire monologue in the finale. she looks and acts like she absolutely could be routinely living in this vague apocalyptic grunge world and like man if she was a fallout npc or somethin my life would have never been the same 4. princess on the pea, just like with smoktun. i actually rewatched their bits today and they're just so poggers, he's her L hasban and she is his girlboss wife, it's one of these dynamics i never thought about but maaan smoktun and freindlich pop together. big fan! 5. shake and piss and cry because that's for me only <3 the stage play i saw in bdt with her and bas, those name i can barely even remember. bas was fantastic like at some point i was like OMG SMOKTUN LEVEL but i guess seeing acting live just hits different, the play was funny and serious when it needed and she was so lively and energetic and moving with such ease while bas was Dying and like yea they're acting, but i wondered because at the time of when i saw it bas was pushing like 82? i then looked it up and turned out that freindlich is older than him. i think she was 85 at the time jumping like she's 40. thats MY memory to cherish.
2. irina kupchenko and well. first of all she's the first person whose filmography couldnt be any less interesting to me, she was stuck in these domestic 360p dramas and i wasnt tempted to look them up even for a second. second of all, thats the death of the range right here, you can say she's pretty anytime but can you say she's played anyone but a girl with the vibes of someone who just went through 4-6 hours of Grade A Torment and as her eyes started drying out it all began again?
1. an ordinary miracle, obviously, her Grade A Torment that is her husband. wizard waifu for life and all but the strong whiff of divorce papers was always in the air between them 2. come take a look at me, her Grade A Torment that is her ma. a role where she's finally not the Turgenev's girl archetype as it's called in russia, really cool to watch her be snarky and funny and real. 3. strange woman on account of It All. never seen the movie and never will, but why must you have saucy scenes with your own irl husband....it was so forbidden, were we even meant to be watching this....im just standing there in your bedroom..... also one their exchange was like "we gave women their rights!" - "you didnt, the soviet regime did" and like asdfghj never forgot it for some reason. it's just so There. 4. uncle vanya because sure, she's small there. gets to have a family dynamic with peak looks smoktun AND be around utterly giant names. i personally dont think her role was interesting but she appears and i go AH SMALL! 5. ah yes. me. who has definitely watched 5 movies with her. movie number five. i totally have it. no i have seen more than five it's just they're not worth anythin actually, idk let поворот be here as the only movie where yankupchenko actually sucked face <3
3. yekaterina vasilyeva omg the Grunge. she's so cool man, also the whole mannerisms thing.
1. my dearly beloved detective, i think because she had an opportunity to kinda express it all there. the comedic side, the dramatic side, the touching acting of love, the femininity, the masculinity, you dont get many movies that allow all of that. also the movie where she finally reconciled with gaft lmao had to happen after the previous 2 of them killing each other 2. the wizards, my favest movie ever but lower on this list because not as much range, but she's still oh so cool. her style in there was poppin and her and val played out their little relationship as if they were in an oscar nominated romcom and not actually sharing about 3 scenes together. 3. come take a look at me surely, her leetle slightly deranged momther, from The Grunge in her early years to this softness later down the line. 4. we keep saying ooo yankupchenko but it was her and val the proto on-screen otp btw. anyway, what i havent seen fully but maybe should one day is a series called the village i think, just literal russian village schenanigans and her and val are having A Day there man. her losing her goat but knowing how to find it bc she makes the goat produce Special Shit, or how her and val were dying telling the story of dick out no pants dead guy in a coffin. wish i were there!!!!! 5. can her irl count before she converted to church lmao i just have a crush on her maybe, but that one frame from the MHAT split documentary where she was sitting on a chair backwards and the lgbt movement was born.
4. lyudmila gurchenko, now here's The Range.... here i can defs say i havent seen many works with her but thats because im calm and confident that when i finally do she will once again dominate me
1. station for two, i think it encapsulates The Range very well if she gets to sing, to be dramatic and humorous, and most importantly to pull off that whole aesthetic of.... being a person and living a life you dont want to have. a village bumpkin having the most mildly undesirable experiences, who wants to serve at a restaurant and have quickies with m*kh and sell smuggled goods? she is so real, so sincere in this that none of that matters because that's life that all of us do live in our own capacities and just like us, her character is more than that. 2. mama, truly The Range... putting her whole goatussy into this movie like she's getting her goat children stolen for real, like how can you play this teehee musical out one second and then switch to heavy dramatic roles. my god The Range....she was doing it all with a broken leg too there, she was always hardcore 3. carnival night because looking at how incredibly plain 50s she was you'd never guess there would've been The Range. lotta singing but what else, right? and then it's so hard to believe it was really her. also the return of the queen how this was made in like 1956 and almost 20 years later she came back for the station, glow up for both ryazanov and her. 4. i guess sure, love and pigeons for i have seen her scenes recently. i know a person who is her character irl my god lmaoo is the movie not lying. sure she's just a little weirdo but she too wanted love!!!!!!!!! dont touch her!!!!!!!!!!!! also how she once again pulls off comedy and that touching drama of NOOOOOO 5. ah yes. movie number five. a movie number five that i have seen and that deserves a mention. for now insert any 100% dramatic role i havent seen yet i trust her.
5. lyubov orlova. now this one is right at the bottom because i have seen exactly one movie with her currently and im waiting diligently to watch the other planned 3 with yall so i dont even know shit man!!! it's the fact that a few days ago i suddenly saw her in a non-alexandrov movie and literally started barking, well when i saw what i thought was her i went full pointing wojak meme, then i confirmed it was her and covered my mouth and started going WOOF WOOF and. if that happened with any of the actors im with, i would've just thrown myself off a cliff. dont mind never telling that to anyone, just wouldnt bear living knowing that i did that. but since it's girls night and we're still in the dating stage with her i think it's a sign of something right lmao?
1. what do you fucking think. what can it possibly be. will the science ever know. will the mystery ever be solved. 2-4. jolly fellows - volga-volga roster i dont know man lmao work in progress. i insist on watching them consecutively because i have a feeling neither of them have aged entirely well and if we watch one and yall dont really like it we'll never watch volga-volga ever and thats what im waiting for. maybe i will appreciate these more than anyone in our group, maybe i can predict as much.
3 notes · View notes
girinma · 1 year
Text
thoughts on avatar 2: avatar for dads (i have many because its 3 hours long)
tldr NO MORE PLOT i want three hours of walking around and looking at fantasy nature. lets go to riven.
nothing like pocahontas 2. 0/5 stars.
story is bad as expected but i had to see it. HOWEVER maybe it is nostalgia talking but i remember the 1st one looking absolutely incredible but this one... i think a marvel film looks similar now. like there were some scenes that were obviously showing off and better than anything else, buuuut it wasnt the whole thing. i did see it in 3d and i did get a headache during but i cannot tell if it was the film or just my fucked up reactions to barometric pressure.
HIGHLY recommend going in not remembering anything from the first one because then youre just like wtf the blue people dont have five fingers??? how many do they have??? PANDORA IS A MOON???
creature design was so fantastic, exactly why i came. dunkleosteus shark, turtle whale, many fun worms. so good. that being said it was really funny that the corals at night were doing the coral fluorescence under UV. 
water looked good, particularly when it was overcast and raining. but like not much to say there.
they made the sea people maori????? hello???? call me a hater but go farther with your alien cultures. i dotn know why i was surprised. 
i vividly remember from avatar 1 that after watching my parents were discussing the parallels in the narrative that i didnt even notice and really taught me about like. critically viewing film. but the parallels here were kinda funny. the whaling ship is whale shaped (which is so fucking obvious when it rolls over and they have water coming through cracks like its blowholes). whaling guy getting his arm ripped off by the whale whose flipper he cut.
the entire movie is a dad movie for dads. its all about dads. sick of dads by the end. do something else. 
i dont understand the whole arc with the human kid because like. he seems to be found family at the start but then at the end they act like its a revelation?!?!? what the fuck????
glad the marines are still bad. hooah.
many questions about how the blue people work. why do the sea tribes and forest tribes speak the same language but have physically different adaptations. what. i think their head tails should be prehensile.
IT WAS SOOOO FUNNY when they killed the oldest son because the whole time i was like “they literally gave him no character wtf” and then when he died i wasnt sad it was just “oooooooh thats why they wrote him so poorly”
they really named the main son character noah while giving the other son a more alien name. shcoking.
i was so mad this movie had the same villain as the first and i was SOO mad when they saved him only to have him be the villain in the next one. BOOOOOO give us a better villain. i was like :O when he got choked to “death” and it just ruined it.
felt weird that the very beginning didnt really show any of the rest of the tribe except the family???? like i get that they dont care about fleshing out anyone but pleaseeeee
mechs were great i like the crabs one the best. the whole whale hunt scene was good, had good emotions. there was chinese or kanji on one of the machines and im unsure if that is because its supposed to be blade runner on earth or just because its a whaling ship????
WHY DO THE CLONE LAB BLUE PEOPLE HAVE TATOOS WHO IS TATOOING THEM IN SPACE IS THERE AN ARTIST AT THE MILITARY BASE
ok. the plot. why are they chasing him down. hes just one guy. with one tribe. why did they add that the earth is dying. what is the point. why is anything happening. why did they even go to the sea people.
i havent been to disney avatar world but i do think its even weirder now. i dont think disney people should be allowed to go to pandora.
PETTY PETTY point but when the chieftess of the water tribe is talking to her spirit whale she is doing space sign language with subtitles, no spoken dialogue, but shes mouthing the words in english?? that should have been in fantasy language.
so like.... they didn’t have avatars in this one? like its just lab blue people, normal blue people, and humans. theres like 2 scenes with avatars. why did they name it avatar. there arent avatars. you forgot the avatars. 
james cameron said put those blue bitches in the titanic. that being said it was fantastic visually.
i HOPE that they have sigourney weaver voicing a teen because it is the original consciousness of sigourney weaver (like how the reborn marine colonel or whatever the fuck his title is sounds like the original) because it is weird. weirder because of the romantic hints between her and spider. maybe cameron is just giving her the check here but i hope they have a reason for it.
the sea tribe home was just riven man. myst guys get their asses.
im just. can you imagine an actually good story set in the avatar world. 
will i watch the next one? yes. im simple. 
1 note · View note
taeyamayang · 2 years
Note
OMG I CANT BELIEVE YOU RESCUED A CAT A N D CONVINCED YOUR FRIEND TO ADOPT HIM!!!! YOU ARE SUCH A GOOD HUMAN!! I’m glad your friend was there to protect you from certain doom too omg. Running out in the middle of the road to make sure a cat wouldn’t get ran over would be how I would die tbh. To be honest I would never be in that situation because going on a jog? Yeah no. Couldn’t be me. I get winded just going up the stairs. But good for you! Be healthy!
THOMAS IS SO CUTE THO??? HE LOOKS LIKE A MODEL IN THE SECOND PIC? GORGEOUS! Oof thesis papers aren’t fun but I’m glad you had you friends to help you stay sane. I can just picture the dog being like 😐😑😐 bruh AND THEN WALKING AWAY 🤣😭
OH DO I HAVE A STORY FOR YOU!
so my mom and I were chit chatting as we got the cats food. We gave Loki and Thor his food but Aria wasn’t down there. So we called for her and called for her but we couldn’t find her. So we went outside and called around but no avail. So then my mom starting calling for her again and we head these tiny, distant “mewwwws” so I look upstairs, then in the basement where the sound is coming from the loudest but it still sounds muffled. Then I hear an “OH MY GOD” from outside (my mother) and I look up to see
Tumblr media
SHE WAS IN THE LITTLE WINDOW WELL THING????? LIKE WHAT THE FUCK?
MY MOM HAD TO FISH HER OUT! We think she snuck out when my lil sis left for school or my stepdad left for work. My moms theory was she was chasing a bug or something into the well…. But the bug flew away and she either couldn’t or was scared to.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
After we brought her back inside she acted like nothing happened smh. What a menace. I have more pictures that I’ll show next time because tumblr doesn’t wanna work smh
awww thank you, dear 🥰 and yes my dog's friend was disappointed THE LOOK ON HIS FACE I SWEAR LMAO
OHMYGOD??? HOW DID SHE GET THERE ?? thank the stars it didn't rain?? i mean if it rained that day then maybe she'll get stuck in there even more? THAT LOOKS LIKE A TOUGH SPOT TO FISH HER OUT OF OMG IM GLAD SHE'S OKAY THO GENDBJE
i have a similar story!! one day we were about to go to the mall so before we leave the house my mom and i were looking for momo bc we need to make sure she's inside the house before we leave bc that menance love to sneak out but at the same time she has 0 knowledge of the outside world so we had to make sure. when were looking for her calling her name and all that, we couldnt find her even the neighbors know her as the "the huge black cat" and our neighbors said they didnt see her went out so we hurried back inside the house. when we were all quiet, thinking to ourselves where she could be. a faint meow echoes from the 2nd floor SO WE WENT UP but her voice is still faint but not so distant anymore. when we all looked up to the ceiling we saw a hole bif enough to fit her through. SHE WAS IN THE SPACE BETWEEN THE ROOF AND THE CEILING AND THAT'S WHERE ALL THE LIVE WIRES OF THE HOUSE AT. momo was so afraid she was trembling and she couldnt move. we can't climb up to the juncture bc the space is sooo small only small animals like cats can fit into it unless we break the whole ceiling. so i was calling for momo and my mom's begging to her to come to hole. long story short she eventually went to the hole BUT SHE IS AFRAID OF HEIGHTS so she started frantically meowing again and she pushing my mom away (my mom had her head and one arm inside the hole momo made so she can fish her out) but my mom was able to get her out of it. we have momo back but our ceiling has a freaking hole. tho we already have it covered. btw she did that TWICE.
i have latest pictures of momo. she is loving the new cabinet.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
ALSO I HAVE NEWS! the stray cat in our garage gave birth to freaking five kittens I WILL SHOW YOU A PICTURE OF THEM i can't snap photos bc whenever i come near them or they see me they all run away and hide under the old stuff in our garage. so yeah, i'll show you next time!!
and it's been so lomg since i the last time i wrote to you! how are you? how's life treating you bubs?
1 note · View note
betaamity · 3 years
Note
did you ever have a homestuck phase
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
I Refuse To Answer
1 note · View note
hella1975 · 2 years
Note
Any tips for my first year at uni next year?
omg that's so exciting!!!!! i'll try help as much as possible but remember all uni experiences are different so my word is not gospel lmao <3
so because it's april you havent had your results yet right? (im assuming ur british bc ur asking me and u called it uni). so for starters - uni acceptances. i got rejected from THREE out of FIVE of my choices and it was literally my fault bc i genuinely filled out my ucas application wrong (i went to a really shitty college that just left us out to dry with EVERYTHING so im v bitter but oh well), and it was super super disheartening. especially bc my firm choice AND the one i would have put as my insurance were both part of the ones that rejected me. i really remember being out at my mates drinking in her garden (covid times too it was fucking FREEZING) when i got one of my emails from ucas, and i went to her bathroom to call my mum bc i was just so upset and WORRIED about it all. but you know what? it always works out, which brings me to my next point
THE SYSTEM IS DESIGNED TO ALWAYS WORK OUT! IT IS VERY FUCKING HARD TO FALL THROUGH THE CRACKS! THE GOVERNMENT WANT UNI GRADUATES! clearing is a godsend and no matter how arrogant your peers might act, you'll probs notice the MAJORITY of people wind up going through clearing. it's very very normal and it might seem scary on the day, but you will wind up getting in somewhere. i was lucky in that i wound up putting another of my options as my insurance and they gave me an unconditional offer, but almost everyone im friends with all came through clearing, and you know what? if i had the choice, i would pick the uni im at as my firm. life really has a way of working out sometimes and i genuinely love my life at uni. you will almost always get in somewhere, and even if it's not even in your top 3, you might find yourself loving it regardless. more comfortingly (or at least i found it that way) is that love it or hate it, this whole process being fucking MESSY is very very very normal
as for your actual results day, leading on from what i said, everything has a way of working out. im not someone who cries often and my family know that, but results day i was a fucking wreck. i didn't sleep at all the night before even though i knew for a fact that the grades wouldn't be up until 9am, and when i did get my grades back, they weren't at all what i wanted. the combination of my shit college and covid really fucked me over and my grades were not representative of me as a student at all. my results day was such a shambles that by lunchtime i still didn't even know what SUBJECT id be doing, let alone where id be doing it. my mum said she's literally never seen me that upset. and looking back, i would never have said to myself that i was worrying too much bc past me WOULD have clocked me in the face, but i was definitely worrying too much. i didnt even have to go through clearing in the end, and even if i had, id have been in the same boat as literally THOUSANDS of other people. i really hope your results day goes smoothly and you get the grades you want/need, but if it doesnt, just know that you're part of the majority and that the system is designed more towards this last minute aspect than it is towards the few that go through smoothly. just resign yourself to a long day of phone calls lmao. by the end of that day the uni operators literally RECOGNISED me. do you know how hard that is when they're receiving dozens of calls from all over the uk every minute?
as for actual uni!!! the biggest part of uni for a lot of people is the social life. i've literally seen it make or break people's experiences. i would like to start this by saying sometimes people do truly get unlucky. they dont find like-minded people simply bc there aren't any nearby. that aspect of uni is literally pure luck and im only telling you that to be honest, not to scare you. it's important to go into this new life knowing exactly what it has in store. loneliness is HUGE at uni and i wish id known more about it before i went, but ill talk about that in a sec. back to the social life, you HAVE to put yourself out there. maybe you're naturally extroverted which will help, but if you hate talking to people/putting in effort bc it makes you anxious/uncomfortable, then know this aspect of uni might be really difficult for you. those first few weeks are CRUCIAL (but not the end of the world mind) because EVERYONE is in the exact same boat. if you just remember that every single person there no matter how confident is just as terrified as you of not making friends, then you'll be fine. and when i said 'put yourself out there' i dont mean going out on the lash every single night (though freshers is fucking brutal if u do decide to join in), i mean little things. talk to your flatmates, make sure you get added to groupchats, dont hide in your room. i feel awful saying 'socialise even if it makes you uncomfortable' but ive just seen so many introverts who WISH they'd suffered a little more in those first few weeks if it just meant they'd be more involved, bc teenagers are still dumb. it's a lotttt better than at secondary and college, but teens are teens, and they're not gonna care what your reasons for avoidance are, they're just gonna see you avoiding them
the first few weeks are INTENSE. sometimes it's a good intense and personally it was the most fun id ever had at the time, but it also can be super overwhelming. one thing ive heard said quite a lot about uni is that the highs are SO much higher than being at home, but the lows are also a lot lower. ive never been happier and more comfortable in my life than i am at uni, but when i have bad days, it's honestly been the worst ive ever felt. im telling you this not to be like 'avoid mental illness' lmao, and more bc like i said earlier; before i came, i wasn't aware of the loneliness of uni or the scariness of its enormity, i just thought i was a baby who couldnt hack it. but people started talking and i looked online and low and behold, it's a universal thing. so dont beat yourself up if you get homesick or if the Big Uni Dream you had in mind doesn't always match up to what it ought to be
the first few weeks also are not the be all and end all. the flatmate i dont like that im now in a precarious friendship with (?) has been through MULTIPLE friendship groups and joined her latest only a few weeks ago, MONTHS into the year. things change and nothing is set in stone. if you feel you haven't made friends during freshers, then it isn't the end of the world
befriending your flatmates IS helpful, but it's not a sign of failure if you dont. i have nine other flatmates so personally i dont think i was EVER gonna get on with all of them, but im also not incredibly close with any of them, and they're not the actual group of friends i hang out with. it worried me at first, bc my sister (who's two years above me) got on SUPER well with her flatmates, and there's obvs the whole tradition of just getting ur second year house with ur first year flatmates. but honestly? it's really not a big deal lmfao. just dont fall out with them even if you hateeeee them (unless they do something that seriously warrants it) bc it's not worth it and remember you have to see them REGULARLY and ive seen shit get very very petty for some people
on the other end of that, flatcest is not just a haha funny joke. it is a HORRENDOUS idea. dont even think about it
try make friends on your course! even if you feel like you have a set group you're content with and you dont need anyone else OR if you dont want to make friends bc you're just there to do your lectures, it is still SUPER helpful from both a social and an academic standpoint. i genuinely would not be passing first year without my econ friends, and they also widen my social circle and get me invited to cool things i wouldnt normally know about (bc the thing with coursemates is that they're typically from other accoms whereas hanging with ur flatmates/people nearby means you're always in the same circles). it just makes things more fun, but i seriously cannot exaggerate the academic benefit either. dont be cocky!
give yourself set days to do things. your course might be PACKED and see you out of your flat every single day, but on the more likely chance that you have pretty big gaps and/or days off and/or your attendance is just shit (well in for uk first year grades literally not contributing to the final grade at all), then it's very easy for your mental health to slip bc you dont get out of bed. i LOVE my room, but it's also tiny and even a fucking palace would drive you mental if you were there day in day out. when my mental health got really bad, i had to start scheduling myself just to make sure i left the flat. spoons is on monday. coffee shop day is friday. laundry and food shop is on sunday etc. it might seem stupid but it really helps
idk if this was just me but i saw it happen with my friends too, so just........ be careful with your family relationships. i hope you're really close with your family (if you're not you can ignore this point lol) and i am too, but uni reallyyyy strains that relationship no matter how close you are. for me, things really got tense between me and my mum, and im not trying to scare you so i will admit we had some problems before i left, but just to repeat UNI STRAINS HOMETOWN RELATIONSHIPS. be that family or friends, if you want to keep what you have with them, MAKE SURE YOU KEEP PUTTING EFFORT IN
have fun! work hard! uni isn't supposed to be a bad, terrifying thing. i love it so so so much AND im doing a course i hate so that's really saying something. it's the best decision i could have made and i dont regret anything, even when it all went wrong trying to get here lmao. it's truly the independence i needed to flourish and the little life ive made for myself makes me genuinely so so happy to the point ive caught myself walking past my kitchen or through the accoms or to my friend's coffee shop and smiling like 'wow, that's mine. this is mine'. it's such a cool feeling to know that, after your entire life has been spent determined by the input of like parents and siblings and shit, you can finally just fucking do what you want
good luck anonstie, im rooting for you!
28 notes · View notes
Text
Random Wanda Vision Thoughts--
Episode 1: I am an emotional bitch crying at Wanda and Vision saying “i do” at the end of episode 1, like can these babies please catch a break? they just want to be happy. 
Also Agnes and the 70′s show mom are my favorite wtf. 
STARK TOASTERS I SEE YOU. 
WHO IS WATCHING THEM WTF 
Episode 2: 
Dottie should die, she seems like the type who needs gently run over by a bus
WHO IS IN THE RADIO
Elizabeth Olsen is so cute in this, absolutely adorable 
IS THAT DAVID SCHWIMMER PLAYING THE PIANO
Vision is drunk from getting gum in his gears, I’m actually cackling right now. 
Tiny bit culty with the “for the children” thing, huh? Yikes
BABY BUMP! 
Some creepo decides to get in on their world and Wanda literally went “i think the fuck not, let’s try this again and this time in technicolor” 
is that the cop who asked out Ant Man on the radio?
The difference in “sitcom” Wanda who is happy in her world and “real life” Wanda when she realizes something isn’t right is honestly astonishing and Grade A Face Acting. See what happens when they let women do more on screen then walk around in tight clothes with full lips parted in a sexy pout? 
Episode 3: 
Seventies Vision’s hair is ENDING ME, I can’t even deal with that. 
IT HAS TO BE DAVID SCHWIMMER except he looks like “russ” from friends instead of “ross” 
Poor Vision is not handling impending fatherhood well 
COMIC BOOK NAME DROP BILLY AND TOMMY I LOVE IT 
Poor pregnancy fritzing Wanda. DID WANDA JUST GLITCH A TIME ERASE AND NOT MEAN TO? Listen, I did not expect to love them as a couple this much. EW HER WATER BROKE OMG 
A STORK 
Oh Wanda, poor baby she’s so afraid, I write way too much fan fiction about how all these characters are secretly terrified to go through life alone to be okay with this. 
Why did I start crying immediately when the babies were born, I’m too emotional for this. She is so beautiful and Vision is so soft meeting his son as himself, oh my gosh. THE TWIN SCREAMS while the other twin comes omg this is Grade A Sitcom bullshit. 
The doctor knows something is Up and so do Herb and Agnes. *don’t be suspicious, don’t be suspicious*
...have we actually seen Ralph and I’m just blanking on it? WHY DON’T THEY LIKE GERALDINE? WHO IS SHE?
Oh no i’m crying again over pietro and the sokovian lullaby. Don’t let me watch this while I’m PMSing wtf this is torture. GERALDINE KNOWS ABOUT ULTRON
OH SHIT WANDA IS PISSED LOOK AT THAT DANGEROUS LADY. that head tilt is fucking lethal. 
I love agnes oh man. I know because of spoilers she’s something of a bad guy? but I love her
WHAT HAPPENED TO GERALDINE OMG DID WANDA KILL HER
Oh no, not dead. Just kicked tf out of the bubble. I just realized the symbol is for Sword. Is this some sort of experiment to keep Wanda contained post Endgame? I should have read more spoilers, I’m fucking confused. 
Episode 4: OH HOLY SHIT IT’S MONICA RAMBEAU AND IT’S POST EG SNAP OH MY GOSH SHE HAS NO IDEA SHES BEEN GONE FOR FIVE YEARS MY HEART IS BREAKING MY HEART IS BREAKING I CAN’T TAKE IT 
It IS the cop that hit on Ant Man! WHAT DO THEY MEAN WESTVIEW DOESN’T EXIST 
Oh it’s Darcy! Damn straight it’s Dr. Lewis. How very shocking, a woman was the one to show a room full of Ridiculous Men what’s going on?
ZOMBIE VISION OH MY GOD “no we can’t” oh man she is starting to CRACK and Vision knows something is wrong OH NO 
At this point I should point out that I am 1000% surprised at the quality of the show and 1000% pleasantly surprised by how much I’m enjoying it. The bar for Wanda’s character development was literally subterranean, but this is has been frankly sort of amazing?? 
Episode 5
Agnes asking about “taking it from the top” WHAT. I love so much the way the characters “break character” it’s so interesting and well done! WHY IS WANDA LYING TO VISION. 
WHERE IS RALPH
oh my god the babies are children now?? why isn’t agnes noticing?? THEY’RE SO CUTE I COULD CRY ALL OVER AGAIN 
I do not. trust. hayward. Why is he asking about Wandas nickname? Monica knows whats up-- she knows Wanda is grieving and hurting. 
THE VISIONS CORPSE WHAT? WHAT IS WANDA DOING OH MY GOD SHE STOLE VISION. Vision has a living will? Don’t you have to be human for that? Are you telling me the woman that loved Vision would straight up ignore his wish to not be turned into a weapon after his death? I have a hard time with this. 
Oh no Vision is starting to worry me. He’s onto Agnes, he’s noticing Wanda getting careless...the boys are adorable though. Good on Agnes for not even flinching. 
DAMN RIGHT WANDA COULD HAVE TAKEN OUT THANOS LETS HAVE SOME RESPECT PEOPLE. Also, why is Monica being sketchy about Captain Marvel? 
EMAIL ALERT EMAIL ALERT “none of it is real.” oh my god what is happening?!?!
“Is this yours?” OH MY GOD. “This will be your only warning” she is so unafraid and I love her for it. I love her accent coming back when she breaks characters LOOK AT HER TURNING ALL THOSE MEN AROUND I LOVE HER. 
“Fix the dead” oh my god the shock on her face. The absolute irony of her trying to tell her boys there’s rules when she’s writing the playbook as she goes. Oh my god. “Can’t I?” Jesus, then the credits start rolling because she wants the episode to be over but Vision won’t let her OH MY GOD. My heart is breaking
WHAT DOES IT MEAN SHE DOESN’T KNOW 
SHE RECAST PIETRO
Episode 6
OOOOH look at the classic costumes! Pietro is slaying me. I mean, it’s the wrong pietro but its still very funny. The way Vision calls her out and then plays it off is.... spooky. She is fully aware thats not her brother. “Be good.” holy shit. 
Look at me not liking Hayward again. “which one is the sassy best friend” i feel like that’s....racist. “don’t use the last five years as an excuse to be a coward” DRAG HIM SIS 
Listen Uncle Pietro being a little shit head is my favorite. I use the OG Pietro in my fics but this one is hilarious. 
Vision lied about being on duty? Yikes. The one house where people are stuck in a loop? YIKES. Its crazy how everyone is starting to be super aware of Wanda pulling the strings--MAGIC CHILD OMG. 
Whats past ellis avenue? Is that the limit of Wanda’s powers? I don’t super understand how Vision has his powers if he’s technically dead. HE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT THE AVENGERS ARE she really just gave him enough life to exist just barely. Agnes knows he’s dead so she wasn’t snapped??
Agnes’s witchy laugh while dressed like a witch is legit awesome. We call that FOREEEEEEEEESHADOWING! Oh and there’s Ellis Ave. Got it. 
Monica’s blood is changed?? Idk how to feel about Black Character willing to die for White Charaxter? I mean I know Wanda should be Jewish but still. Uncomfortably close to icky tropes but maybe I’m reading too far into it.
YIKES where was she hiding the kids till now? How’d she do all this? “I’m not a stranger or your husband” YIKES.
OH MY GOD DEAD PIETRO
OH MY GOD VISION STAY IN THE BUBBLE SOMEONE SAVE HIM SAVE HIM OMG BILLY CAN HEAR HIS DADDY DYING SAVE HIM
“The people need help” oh Vision you are truly Worthy
She literally expanded her world to save him omg
DARCY WHERED YOU GO geez look at power of this girls mind it’s about damn time we got a glimpse at just how intense her powers are
Season 7
Ok is this like a reality show? Oh man she is GLITCHING.
Oh no it’s just Wanda not Wanda vision cos she feels alone? So sad. She really is losing it isn’t she and not in a “lol how awkward” sortnof way but in that truthful hard to watch way that so many of us feel when we’re at the breaking point
“I actually did bite a kid once” I literally ugly laughed right there
I KNEW I COULDNT TRUST HAYWOOD
It’s so nice to see Darcy used in a real way. Her character was totally wasted in Thor
The way Wandas little interviews get more and more sad :(
Uhhh what does that mean Agnes is quiet on the inside? Again with the Ralph thing. I’m starting to think there’s no Ralph at all??
LOOK AT THIS GIRL WITH HER SPACE ROVER . She’s got that same look of determination her mama had. WHAT IS HAPPENING TO HER WHY ARE HER EYES BLUE
“....soooo Wanda killed me?” I’m ugly laughing again and I shouldn’t be but the comedic delivery is excellent. The whole “office” vibe with the cameras is making an otherwise devastating episode fairly funny
LOOK AT THIS GIRL STANDING UP TO WANDA we love a sharp cheekbones beauty
“Maybe I already am” I mean, I would have loved to hear that post Ultron when for some reason everyone blamed Tony for everything?? But hearing it now is just horrifying and I hate it
Oh vision deciding to go get to his wife is beautiful.
WHERE ARE THE BABIES WHERE ARE THE BOYS OH MY GOD IM FREAKING OUT WHAT BASEMENT THATS NEVER GOOD
Uh hey what the fuck is up with Agness creepy basement of horrors??
AGATHA HARKNESS OH MY GOD
This song is a BOP wtf she deserves an Emmy for this shit
Snoopers gonna snoop what?
Episode 8
Of course it’s Salem, where else would a witch story start
“They simply bent to my power” What a queen
lmaoooo THAT ACCENT COMES AND GOES Agatha really said what we’ve all been thinking
Wait so Wandas power drew Agatha in? I thought maybe Agatha trapped her here?? SHE DOESNT KNOW WHAT WANDA IS
THE BABIES
Oh ouch this trip down memory lane is gonna hurt me isn’t it?
Oh no her mama I’m dying inside send help. The TV sitcoms. Oh my god is this her last memory before her parents died. HELP ME I CANT WATCH THIS
Oh my god, she had powers when she was little?? SHES NOT AN EXPERIMENT???
Listen I generally think telling a story retroactively is lazy writing? Just give us a well developed story the first time?? But this is BRUTAL and brutally well done.
SHE SAW HERSELF IN THE MIND STONE???
Would it have been so difficult for them to give us even a PEEK at this version of wanda vision in CACW? Marvel has the worst habit of just popping up like “oh hey these two love each other all the sudden with no real reason for it” but this is wonderful. So much character development.
Oh listen to this woman begging to be able to bury her husband omg. WAIT SO SHE DIDNT BREAK IN AND TAKE HIM?? WHAT ARE THEY DOING TO VISION?? DID HE PUSH HER INTO THIS PSYCHOTIC BREAK?? HE TOTALLY PLAYED HER INTO RECREATING VISION SHE JUST WANTED CLOSURE. He literally showed her visions dismembered corpse and said “say goodbye” I will kill this dude wtf
“I can’t feel you” guys I have to pause this so I can cry for a minute
“I can’t feel you” and then she leaves. Totally alone in the world. My heart is an empty husk.
Why the house though? Why west view?
OH FUCK ME UP ARE YOU KIDDING ME VISION WAS GOING TO BUILD THEM A HOUSE I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE
It’s not even real vision? Just the projection of her broken heart? “Welcome home” I am broken. Physically broken.
CHAOS MAGIC
SCARLET WITCH
I CANNOT
OH MY GOD WHITE VISION??? NO NO NO
58 notes · View notes
ccelinewritess · 4 years
Text
the distance between us
pairing- draco malfoy x reader
word count- 9.7k
summary- the first time draco uses the muggle post system, it goes so terribly wrong, and a letter falls into the hands of a girl who was never supposed to see it, a muggle at that.
warnings- curse words, ptsd, anxiety/ panic attacks, depression mention of death, murder, blood and burns aswell as insomia, seperation anxiety (?) and my grammar.if these may trigger you, i suggested not reading.
a/n- this took me a while to get out, sry abt that. the reader was set to live in a canadian town called kelowna, british columbia. it takes place in readers grade 11/12 and dracos 6/7 year. i hope it’s not to self inserted, and you guys can enjoy and relate to it. big thank you to @dracodear for the help on this, love you! also thanks to everyone who left owl name suggestions, all were awesome and i ended up going with @winnsmills suggestion ‘noctua’ ! tumblrs been acting weird, so i hope it lets me post the whole thing. letters are in italics. also please note, this is off the movies timeline! i tried to fit in as many details as possible but some didn’t make it.
-
the town was widespread. wineries and mountains everywhere, the okanagan lake splitting it down the middle, reconnecting the cities halves by a bridge. little snow and tons of rain. jeep wranglers in every colour roaring around into unholy hours of the night, bustling with life yet all to lonely at times. but hey, that’s kelowna for you.
rain was running down the windows of y/ns most boring class, last period biology. she knew she should be paying attention. she had a high gpa to maintain, and couldn’t afford to fail another class besides french. the last five minutes of blabbering ended after what felt like a year.
‘you are dismissed, ill see you all monday, have a good weekend’ and with that everyone rose, heading to the parking lot as fast as possible in an attemp to dodge traffic. despite pouring rain, the air was hot, and on the ride home y/ns mind raced over every single assignment she had to complete over the next two days, while her hands tapped the steering wheel.
‘english essay, math review, history paper, business management graph’ she muttered under her breath. the town was busy, many students often blew off class to go shopping, or hit a movie, or smoke weed, the possibilities were endless. her house was cool compared to outside, and empty. no one was home, not that it was a surprise to the girl, people weren’t usually home, siblings gone to university, and parents working absurd amounts.
something caught her eye on the counter, an envelope, an ordinary seeming one, but absolutely covered in small pictured stamps with ‘england’ underneath each one. eighteen of them, all different. she knew shouldn’t open it, so she didn’t. at first. but it was irresistible. there was a return address written in the smallest writing she’d ever seen. wogshell, no, wiltshire? she took it to her room, and locked the door before ripping it open. she didn’t want the one time she had something intresting going on to be interrupted by whoever might show up.
her mouth fell open at every line of the same scroll. who was snape? why was this draco boy sending him a letter? he didn’t need his help to kill who? what the fuck was an unbreakable vow and why shouldn’t snape sign it? why was his mum going to see snape? who was the dark lord and why did he pick draco for a task? what kind of name is dumbledore?
what she already knew was confirmed- this letter was most definetly not for her. but newly- she opened a letter from a potential murderer or maybe it was a prank, a sick prank if it was one.
so instead she crafted up quite the response, whoever wrote this was either hysterical or in distress, and needed some sort of company- she thought, atleast.
-
it had been thirteen days, why wasn’t the letter back yet? the owl still couldn’t fly even about the house without damaging itself further. maybe using the muggle post system was a mistake. but better have it land into the hands of a muggle, who would likely throw it out, than a wizard who would know a death eater would soon be wondering around hogwarts.
as if on que, the door bell rang and echoed through the empty manor. on the porch sat an envelope, with only one stamp, his name in the middle and another he didn’t recognize in the corner. shit, this couldn’t be good. his eye caught the stamp. canada? fuck, this was supposed to go to cokeworth not bloody canada. no one was home so he opened it right there in the foyer.
hello, draco.
i am not snape- nor do i know who snape is. i am also very unfimilar with some of the vocabulary you used. dark lord? unbreakable vow? you seem to have quite the situation going on, if i read correctly. im not exactly stupid, but i do know that this letter was most definitely not supposed to be in my possession. i didn’t know who to send it to, id send it back to you, but you probably don’t want a copy of your own letter. i also know you likely have enough on your plate, but if you’d like someone to talk to im only half a world away, have no sort of schedule and am a good listener, well reader in this case. good luck with whatever task you’ve mentioned. p.s. you had about seventeen stamps to many, first time sending a letter? unfortunate fate, huh ? what kind of name is snape and what the heck is a dumbledore? i suppose it’s none of my business, knowing you likely won’t respond, but if you do i wrote my address on the front. have a good day/ night/ whatever time it is wherever you are.
y/n l/n
tears were welling in dracos eyes, he was floored, in a good and bad way. his task was already going downhill. the letter he sent snape had fallen into the hands of a muggle, who did not throw the letter away, but responded. and snape was likely going to bine himself into the task through the unbreakable vow, which draco was more than able to complete. he wouldn’t have been chosen if he wasn’t, right?
not only had she responded, she offered him help, well distant company, to a stranger who obviously had quite a few problems and she clearly had no regard for her own safety. he couldn’t tell her about the wizarding world. not that he could tell her about anything, she could be lying. he had a task to focus on, he couldn’t write her back.
and that was true- at the time. he had no intent of writing the girl back. and yet he found himself reading the 201 words over and over, running his hands across the paper, expecting them to fade away as he wiped. counting and recounting. he surely couldn’t talk to any of the twats at hogwarts, maybe a stranger could help numb the pain. and as long as he didn’t tell anyone- she couldn’t get hurt, she was to far.
draco was packed for hogwarts, the response at the bottom of the trunk, underneath his clothes. he’d just have to get to the damn school, then he could write all he wanted- without his parents knowledge or ridicule. his mind jumbled together what he was going to say while his friends rambled on. the train pulled up to the castle after dreadful hours and he could barely sit still during the opening feast. his thoughts did falter though, when dumbledore gave his speech, he felt guilty- the shame of his family weighing on his shoulders. he looked around, all his classmates staring in adoration at a man who would be dead ten months from now, and they were sitting in the same room as his killer.
the singular room was nice, he knew it wasn’t for lounge, but for plots of death.
before he began he started making promises to himself. if i get behind on the plan ill won’t write, if snape notices anything about it, ill stop. the list went on and on.
he couldn’t put his pen down, the words continued to fly out the end, was he oversharing?
dear y/n
my deepest apologies that my last letter found it’s way to you. im sure you didn’t expect whatever you may have perceived from it. honestly, i don’t know how it arrived all the way over there. im almost positive you have better things to do than listen to my problems, and i know you had no control over the fact it arrived, but i ask you to please not share this information with anyone. i am unsure if i will take up your offer of amity, if you were serious that is. im at school now, so if you’d like to respond, not that you have to- you can send letters back with my owl, it’ll be faster (and i won’t have to worry about stamps- thanks for the tip by the way)
draco malfoy 
and with that noctua was off into the night, and he could only hope that it would make it to her.
-
droll was running down y/ns chin and she was caught in a dream. suddenly a vigorous tapping on the window pulled her into consciousness, the sight of owl knocking her backwards in a scare. a crash sounded, if the tapping didn’t wake anyone up, that surely did. she almost considered just trying to ignore it, until she noticed a letter tied to its neck and reluctantly opened the window. she’d never seen an owl in real life before, but was aware from school that they weren’t exactly the kindest of creatures. this one just perched on the window while she removed the new enevelope, no stamps in sight. just a neatly printed address, and his in the corner.
from the new letter she learned even more- this wasn’t a prank, draco was a real person, was still in school, and whatever the first misplaced letter contained was true. he had some sort of task and didnt want help, but that was all. so with what she could, she wrote another response. it took an hour and she wasn’t exactly sure what she had written by mid morning.
draco
you’d be quite suprised actually, it gets lonely over here. i still haven’t exactly deciphered your original note, so if you would like to help me understand i think i’d be ready. and no worries about me, my lips are sealed. what is an unbreakable vow, im curious? you go to boarding school? and owls, really? what the hell is up with that? im pretty sure it’s illegal to own one here, but we are countries away, so perhaps it’s different all the way over there. send whatever you want. i do not- by the way- have anything better to do in the slightest.
y/n
-
he continued to write throughout the month of september, which bled into october before he knew it. he was avoiding questions about the task, just wanting someone to talk to. it wasn’t easy, she was curious, which draco couldn’t exactly be mad at her for that since he continued to write her, accepting the distant friendship that was forming.
he was learning a lot about her aswell. besides french, which he informed her he spoke fluently numerous times, she was a very good student. she was single, he didn’t remember how that came up but made a note in his mind- he couldn’t date her, nor did he know enough about her to be properly involved.
she read a lot of books, sappy romances mostly, couldn’t cook anything deemed edible by anyone, and her favourite colour was green, he smirked when reading that for the first time. she didn’t know what she wanted to do with her future, just not a doctor like her parents wanted.
-
y/n was sitting in english as her teacher reviewed about univeristy application requirements. only next year they would be getting accepted and denied from their dream schools. she’d spent years dreaming of it, university, and yet somehow a boy half way around the was racing through her mind. she felt horrible about it, the small crush. it was incredibly selfish, falling for a boy with so much going on, he certainly didn’t need her as anything more than a friend to talk to, but he was good with his words, and making her feel important too. her dismissal came and so did a classmate, approaching confident and cocky.
‘hey, l/n’ he said, a smirk on his face
‘oh, uh hey, will’
‘what are doing tonight?’ her mind went blank, any excuse, come on, say something
‘i have plans’ wow real specific, great job, y/n
‘like what’
‘fish funeral, real important stuff, my family is just devastated’ her voice was clearly sarcastic and that was all before she walked right out. no she didn’t exactly have plans, but waiting for dracos owl provided much more company than any date could have. the sight of dracos owl flying towards the pre-opened window was somewhat relieving, she didn’t know why, just the fact that he had not failed yet, and was still out there was nice. she hadn’t had this much company. since last year at least, when her supposed best friend started ghosting her because of some petty shit.
thankfully noctua ad gotten quite good at being discreet when delivering the letters. of all the things on y/ns junior year bucket list, explaining to her parents that she had befriended a british boy with an owl who flyed into her room while her neighbours had a clear view, wasn’t one. she also began keeping a bowl of water under her bed for the owl to drink when it arrived, knowing it couldn’t have been easy travelling back and forth.
y/n
im not fully sure you want to know the depth, yet you seem to want me to corrupt you with my villain with a task baggage. i suppose it couldn’t hurt if i told you about the unbreakable vow. it’s like a promise or a bond, but if you break it then you die. if you can stomach that i may be able to tell you more. how far away do you reckon we are?
draco
-
draco wasn’t falling behind too far, but his first attemp had failed, and panic attacks were taking up most his time. he never had any, at least not this bad until this year. at least once a day he would start sweating, no matter how cold he was, unable to control his breathing or tears, feeling like the walls were caving in upon him.
that is, besides writing y/n as much as he could. apparently she was being honest, she had no schedule of any sort besides going to school. he hated to say, but he was becoming attached, he didn’t exactly know how either, but everytime he recieved a letter a small weight was lifted from his shoulders, even just when he read it.
noctua was doing the weekly, almost daily round at breakfast with the other owls and draco watched with anticipation as a letter dropped on his lap and owl on his shoulder. he tried to conceal the letter into his robes but pansy had taken matters into her own hands. likely jealous that she’d spent collectively around six hours with him the whole year, and he never talked to her like he used to.
‘ou draco whats this’ twirling the envelope between her hands. the letter had no name, no stamp, only a small heart drawing in the corner.
‘hands off parkinson’ he said while taking the letter back. ‘a letter from my mother, if you must know’ he said knowing that neither his mother or father had written him anything, despite having all the time to do so.
he got up and left the second he was done, not wanting to draw snapes suspicion about who could possibly be more important than working on this task.
he rushed to his room, desperate for more of her words. he tried to picture her voice in his head, but had to remind himself she wasn’t british nor was she from southern america.
draco,
so you just die if you break the promise? intresting. it’s not as hard to stomach as you seem to think, very unique tradition i suppose. you are not a villain draco, you haven’t told me much about it but your to good of a person to have picked any of this for yourself. i calculated when we you were home, seven thousand three hundred something, i don’t know where your fancy boarding school where you have owls for pets is, so it may be further. im ready whenever you are.
y/n
her letter was relieving for him aswell, even in the slightest it helped, but she deserved some sort of answer for helping him take his mind off the task for a couple minutes. he could tell if she wasn’t scared off already, this would do it.
y/n
if you are sure, here it is. dumbledore is my headmaster, the dark lord is a very powerful wizard, and snape is my professor. if i don’t kill dumbledore before july, he will kill me and my family, if i can’t complete the task, snape will kill him under terms of an unbreakable vow. im not a very good villain that’s for sure, my first attemp failed, and my classmate is out cold. i understand if you dont want to write to me anymore, just don’t tell anyone about this, please.
dm.
-
the only words to describe the feeling that overwhelmed her senses as she read were devastation and shock. tears pooled in her eyes as she tried to imagine herself with that much responsibility to wildhold until july. another detail that caught her eye, wizard? what did he mean by wizard? is that the word for dictator in england? certainly he wasn’t talking about the wizards she read about in storybooks as a child. her hand shook slightly and she debated mentioning it.
draco
you’re silly if you think i’d stop writing you. you need company now more than ever. please don’t hold things back from your letters, you deserve someone to talk to. that is quite the situation, im sorry if i pushed you, you do have enough on your shoulders and i want to help you as much as i can. i hate to ask, but you mentioned ‘wizards’ and i am a bit confused.
all my love
yn
-
initially, draco went into shock. he knew he was probably oversharing, but didn’t expect to slip up in that way. he begrudgingly admitted; knowing that if this went badly he would likely be banished from the wizarding world, which didn’t seem like such a horrible punishment to him anymore. and yet she was fascinated, by the coins he sent her, the subjects he learned- which she compared to her own much less exciting ones, and everything he told her about it. he could now talk to her about much more, since both his secrets were now out in the open to her. he told her about the about the houses, and they both agreed she would probably be in hufflepuff, well he thought so, her kind and accepting nature, and she didn’t know enough to disagree. and for the first time in the long time he was seeing things differently, completely diminishing the rude behaviour he often displayed towards the house.
she even sent him a picture, the first time he ever saw her face. a large smile spread across her beautiful features, she seemed to be laughing. eyes glistening in the sun even prettier than he could have imagined. he slept with it under his pillow, and could stare at the still image for hours. no it didn’t move around, but he couldnt care less. he only had one picture of himself in his possession and he was young, about four. she was facinated by the moving image, his blonde hair and attitude shining right through. he would owl his mother for a more recent one, but didn’t want to explain why.
the letters were helping him, but the task wasn’t advancing. his second attempt had failed, he was caught sneaking into slughorns party, and harry was onto him. they were also causing him doubt. say they did get the cabinet fixed, he couldn’t see himself killing dumbledore anymore, the more he talked to her he realized he couldn’t be a killer, as cold as he was to some people, but he had to, didnt he?
most importantly every letter she sent gave him a sense of hope. that the second this is over he could move. away from voldemort, and potter, his parents even, england in whole. perhaps not to canada, but it could be a change, half way across the world with the girl who was helping him stay alive through his letters. he just needed to stay alive long enough too see her.
the seasons changed around draco, but his room stayed the same. hot from mysterious potions, for himself and some for dumbledore, he had not had much hope after the wine, though. it was lonely, not that he’d like y/n here, he’d much rather be there, all the way across the world.
-
may came in a blur, and finals were creeping up. one week y/n sat at her desk, every night, waiting for a letter that didn’t come. on the fifth letterless day she cried. not exactly knowing why, it wasn’t her that had much of a reason to cry, but dracos company had filled her lonely life up with light of its own, leaving it darker than it was before she saw the first letter. she was silly to be so attached and silly to expect him to reciprocate the feelings she had proclaimed in the last one she sent, and should have expected him to stop eventually. so she continued on with school, finding it a bit easier to concentrate now that a draco sized whole was missing from her brain, and her heart aswell.
the next week, though, a letter came, very appreciated by y/n as the whole other universe, british boy forgetting thing wasn’t as easy as it seemed.
y/n
im sorry for not writing, the classmate i mentioned all those months ago woke from the curse, and the potter twat hexed me with a spell id never heard of before. i would have tried to contact with you but i couldn’t exactly trust what my brain was planning on writing, and the cuts are still a bit sore. the cabinets fixed, but even if everything works out okay i won’t be writing very much at all. i’ll be home in july, but the manor will be infested with death eaters and i can’t let you get hurt. thank you for everything l/n.
draco
it stung a little, knowing that the empty feeling the girl just experienced would be more frequent, he didn’t mention anything about what she had said, and that this could be the last time she ever heard from him if he didn’t kill dumbledore. in hindsight, practically telling her she loved him in a letter wasn’t what he needed, she knew that.
-
he left out the fact that he the spell put a him in a huge emotinal draught. he was exhausted constantly, crying even more than before. the cuts were sore, so he wasn’t holding everything back.
the last month of school came and went all to fast for dracos liking, and death eaters now roamed around the castle, causing havoc where ever they could. his trunk had been shurken so small it looked like a small muggle toy he put into his pocket easily. the dark mark that was stretched across his left arm was now hanging in the gray sky, and the headmaster was no where to be seen. he paced anxiously around a vacant corridor until he heard a pop in the astronomy tower. he didn’t think people could apparate into hogwarts, it would have made his job much easier.
‘harry, get snape, i need snape now’ he seemed exhausted, maybe this wouldn’t be as hard
‘sir im going to sit you down okay, and then ill go get madam pomf-‘
‘severus, harry, I need severus now, go get him and talk to no one else’ he said in a shallow yet somewhat urgent and angry tone.
draco waited for footsteps to disappear, before whipping the door open with his wand already ready.
‘oh hello, draco, nice to see you on this fine evening’ he said nonchalantly, leaning his weight against the wall.
‘EXPELLIARMUS’ draco boomed, successfully disarming the man without counter attempts before glancing around to see a second broom
‘who else is here?’ he said sounding confident but feeling the opposite
‘i could ask you the same question, acting alone are you? you don’t seem supported’
‘no, there are death eaters in your school tonight, and i got them here’ he snarked ‘they’ll be up, any minute now, their fighting down below. i’ve got a job to do’
‘well done boy, if you don’t mind me asking a few questions, before you get on with it, im very intrested’ was he kidding? he knew draco was about to kill him right? wanting to stall, and not fully wanting to kill him he nodded his head yes.
‘you seem scared to act until they join you
‘im not scared, you should be scared’ he snarled, unable to contain the fear in his voice any longer any longer
‘oh draco’ he sighed ‘while we wait for your friends arrive, care to explain how you smuggled them in here? i never imagined it possible, especially not by a student’
‘i had to mend the broken cabinet that no ones used for years, there’s another one in borgin and burkes. montague got stuck in told everyone stories about it, how he could sometimes hear what was going on in the shop and sometimes hear hogwarts like a passage, and i was the only one who discovered what it meant. not even borgin, not you either, i did it right under your nose, you didn’t realize anything’ he said
‘you are right, i didn’t know that. i do- on the other hand, know that you aren’t a killer’
he raised his wand a little higher, feeling wheezy and as though his legs would give in any second
‘how you know that, I’ve done despicable things, you wouldn’t even be able to fathom’
it was dumbledore’s time to pause, glancing up at the sky and looking around the room before continuing
‘draco i know you almost killed katie bell and ron weasley. you’ve been trying to kill me all year, forgive me for saying this, but they’ve been very feeble attempts. to be honest ive wondered wheather your heart has truly been in it’
‘it has, and if you knew why didnt you stop me’
‘snape has been watching over you on my orders’
‘ it’s not on your orders, he promised my mother-‘
‘ofcourse he would tell you that, but it happens to be that i trust professor snape’
‘your losing it then, he’s a double agent, he isn’t working for you- he’s been trying to get in on the action all year, helping me and all. doesn’t matter now- he probably doesn’t even know they are here yet, he will wake up tomorrow and no longer be the dark lords favourite, he will be nothing compare to me’ confidence was building within him
‘very gratifying, we all like being recognized for our hard work, but, draco?im standing here wandless and weak, unable to defend myself, and you have not made any move to kill me, dont blame me for believing you will not, but let’s discuss your options’
‘my options’ he laughed ‘im standing here with a wand, about to kill you’
‘oh dear boy, if you were going to kill me you would have when you disarmed me, not stayed for a little chat’
‘i haven’t got any options, don’t you understand, i have to kill you, or he will kill me’
‘okay, if you don’t want to join the order with your mother where we could protect you, i only have one more question’
‘better hurry, theyre on their way’ he almost laughed which was quickly replaced when Dumbledore said his next words.
‘who is y/n l/n’ at that a tear fell down dracos face, and he lowered his wand almost completely
‘i-i don’t know who that is, odd l-last words’ he stuttered
‘draco dont play dumb now, not after we discovered you are very intelligent. we left some of the security measures from last year that Umbridge enabled, and I couldn’t help but notice hundreds of letters flowing to and from her. i looked into student files, ilvermornies too, nothing, id never heard the name, a muggle i presumed. but of all the things, that had me the most confused. i couldn’t figure out why you would be contacting her, so i did some meddling’
‘WHAT DID YOU DO’
‘fiesty all the sudden, are you? i felt bad after opening this, it seemed very personal, and i probably should given it too you sooner, but i was a bit preoccupied double checking my drinks and all’ dumbledore said handing him the letter.
draco
how is the cabinet coming? it’s raining even more here than usual, all day and night. and don’t talk like that, saying you don’t have a future. you do draco, you deserve another chance and infinite amounts of them. you are just a kid, you shouldn’t be forced to be a hero. you are protecting so many people right now, but i don’t need any. you have given my life enough light in the last few months than i ever recall, and im so thankful that letter came to me. i wish you were here with me right now, but i know you can’t be, so just stay alive, okay?
y/n
more tears fell, he hated being so weak at the mention of her, crying before he completed the blessing his father and bellatrix considered the task to be.
‘she’s right, draco, you deserve another chance’
he was speechless, and could tell Dumbledore knew he found his weakness.
‘i always pictured you and pansy, never in a million years imagined you to be in a relationship with a muggle’
‘no matter who does it, your about to be killed, and im not here to discuss my love life am i?’
‘so you do love her?’ before draco could even think he heard a door open and raised his wand, hiding the letter faster than he had ever moved.
‘shut up, they will kill her’ he said quietly and desperately
in walked fenrir greyback, yaxley, and bellatrix. they made banter of their own, but her words replayed. he couldn’t do it.
‘go on draco’ his aunt whispered into his ear, making him shiver.
‘DO IT, DO IT BOY’ she yelled, in a high pitched and annoying voice
he felt a strong arm over his chest, pushing him aside, and he saw the whoosh of snapes robes and an already pleading dumbledore
‘severus, please’
‘AVADA KEDAVRA’ snape shouted, a green flash producing from the end of his wand, hitting the old man square in the chest. draco rushed over to the edge, watching him fall. it was a long way down.
-
the rain had sudsided, sunlight leaking into her room during the day. watching the sky at night, failing to find constellations he described many times to her. her wardrobe was mostly untouched, remaining in pyjamas most of the week. the odd time she did leave, she saw her old friends walking and laughing out her car window. eating and socializing felt like a chore, and she hadn’t communicated with the boy since may. he could be dead, she didn’t know. there was no death on the ‘muggle’ news, and draco wasn’t on the top wanted list, not that he likely would be on the television all the way over here. he could be fine, in wiltshire, going to dinner parties and holding balls. or maybe, he too, was sitting in his room staring at the ceiling for days on end. she had now hung the picture of a young draco by her desk, not needing to worry about anyone seeing. her siblings were once again home, but out living their lives so much that it still felt like they were gone. for the first time she noticed his scroll on the back.
‘i was four when this was taken i believe, my hair is very similar, i was quite sassy, im sure that shows without explanation.’ she blushed while reading, it was true. his hands were on his hips whipping his head around.
-
every day was a surprise around malfoy manor. not the kind of surprise draco liked. not the feeling of butterflies in his stomach when he read y/ns letters, those were replaced by a pit as they were summoned around the large table in the dining room. the first one he attended was horrible, watching his muggle studies teacher being hung above their heads, pleading for the help of severus as she died. he bit his tongue in an attempt to avoid raging about about every comment surrounding muggle culture. each one tore his heart, as he imagined the girl all those kilometres away, the girl he had no contact with, but he looked at her picture as much as possible, and hoped one day he could make her smile again like she did in the image.
-
senior year was here, and y/n schedule picked up once again. her timetable was full, maybe it was best, a distraction, after a whole summer of thinking alone in her room. draco was on her mind at night, no matter how hard she tried to forget. she’d made friends with her creative promotions partner, logan. he was certainly not intrested in her in anyway besides friends, but company after all this time was enjoyable, just in the hour of class
-
draco had little privacy, with death eaters in every hallway, conversing with eachother. wherever he went someone was there, until he finally got sick of it and began going to the garden bench. with a book, sometimes, giving some of the sappy love stories y/n mentioned a try or even the poetry books she sent with noctua awhile back, they were okay, but his heart hurt at the feeling of relation in every line. he could only read one or two poems at a time, without tears forming in his green orbs.
sometimes he went with a pen and a notebook. he wrote about everything. the smell of the plants around him, the feeling in his chest when the dark lord called for a meeting. most of the notebook, though, was filled with poems of his own. and letters he had no intention of sending for her own safety. she wasn’t in harms way, though, other followers were preoccupied with ruining weddings and other things they considered fun. he blabbered on for pages, about how he missed seeing noctua fluttering towards him at breakfast. how he rereads the letter that dumbledore gave him the night he died. how she listened to him rant on and on, giving her support no matter how evil he felt. how he found love where it wasn’t supposed to be.
snow was falling once again, he had to dress in layers, making it hard to write often, the plants started dying as cold settled over and his mother no longer babied him like she used to before the death eaters began inhabiting the mansion. he couldn’t keep himself company any longer and gave into the pressure he put on himself. as long as they were careful, she’d be in no destruction- he prayed as he wrote what seemed to be an appropriate response after all this time.
-
like it had been decades, she flinched at the noise of the owl on the window, carrying a much larger scroll that he’d ever sent before, some parts scratched out and written above. his writing was much less tidy than she remembered, like the letters on the page were anxious for her reaction.
love,
after all this time, im sorry you are just now hearing from me. you have ever single right to be annoyed with me, after you listened to me for months, helping me emotionally in ways i never be able to repay you for. you do not need to forgive me, or write me back. i just wanted to keep you safe. but i needed to tell you everything before it might actually be to late. you’ve probably moved on and forgotten about me, like you should, but i guess im saying that i am alive. i didn’t kill him either. snape did. i thought i was going to be able to, but he started talking about you. he gave me a letter from you that he had already opened, the words repeated in my head over and over. you talked about how i deserved another chance, and how you wish I’d was there with you. right before he died he asked me if i loved you. i knew the answer but didn’t have time to say it. ive read your poetry books, they aren’t as bad as i once thought, i can’t read to many at once. i try to forget what dumbledore said that night, and that night altogether. but one day i read ‘that’s how you know you love someone, i guess. when you cant experience anything without wishing the other person was there to see it too.’ when i sit in the garden i imagine you smelling the flowers, myself picking one and putting it behind your ear. when i go on walks i imagine your hand in mine. youre in my dreams. my never ending thought. i remember the way i felt when we started talking a lot, and how I felt when we didn’t get a chance. you listened to me when no one else offered. not even my parents. i hope your doing okay, and smiling and laughing. i don’t care if we talk about absolutely nothing, i just want to talk to you. i know that’s unfair to you after all ive weighed on you. but i guess that’s all, i love you. draco ♡
well this certainly didn’t get him off her mind. she didn’t need to either. ofcourse she was going to write him back, but she needed time to think about her response. she missed the next day of school, and his owl was comfortably standing on her desk, nibbling away at the water and crumbs. she took an hour long shower, multiple naps, raided her fridge, and had to email the school pretending to be her mum, excusing her for the day. before she even knew what she was going to write, she began on a new piece of paper. she’d have thought longer, but was sure draco would be convinced she stole noctua out of anger.
draco,
wow. i don’t really know what to say. i knew you weren’t a killer, and i meant what i said about you deserving more chances. i will admit i was angry, and a bit confused. i sent that letter with high hopes. i don’t know what i was hoping for at the time, i was being incredibly selfish. but couldn’t help myself feel pained when you didn’t mention it in the next letter when you said harry hexed you. i know we can’t be together, especially not right now, but i love you too. i wish more than anything you were here with me right now, and it was you i’d be graduating with half a year from now. i wish you were in the passenger seat of my car while i drive through the city. i wish you could point out the constellations in the sky. i usually can’t read to many poems either, they get me thinking to much. im ready to write again if you are.
y/n
-
draco hadn’t felt more joy in a long time. around seven months. she loved him, and that was enough happiness for a life time. he just needed to stay alive.
they continued to stay in touch, almost as if they never stopped talking, entertaining eachother as much as possible, masking their separate misery and the distance between them. he could get time away from the reality that was his life for a while, he thought, until snatchers brought the trio he spent so long bickering with to the manor.
a very distorted looking harry fell before him, his hair tightly gripped by bellatrix.
‘well, is it him’ he knew it was harry. and yet a part of him couldn’t bring himself to letting the boy get killed.
‘i can’t be sure’ he lied
‘draco, look closely son’ lucius said loudly, getting a grip on the back of dracos neck before leaning in and whispering.
‘if we are the ones that hand potter to the dark lord, all will be f-forgiven. a-all will go back to how it was’
his father and the and a snatcher quickly got into an arguement. lucius was yelling something about the manor before narcissa calmed him with a hiss.
‘don’t be shy, sweetie come here take a closer look’
draco was know level with him. the scar was still visible on his forehead, and swollen eyes staring back at him, hopeless.
‘what’s wrong with his face’ draco said
‘yes what is wrong with the boys face’ a shrill voice repeated
‘he was like that when we got him, something he picked up in the forest i reckon’
bellatrix walked away, laughing away at something. the blonde boys eyes were still on harry, before he felt a tap on his shoulder. bellatrix began acting out, yelling about a sword, putting ropes around snatchers neck from the end of her wand. sword now in her hand she walked over to ronald weasley, grabbing his collar and demanding that the boys be put in the cellar.
a different draco would have gladly watched a mudblood be tortured by his aunt. but he flinched at every scream of hermione, unable to watch he went to the next room, resisting tears as he thought of the girl he fell for enduring the same. she had moved onto the goblin- ridiculing it about who got into her vault- and hermiones screams were now gone.
‘youre lucky, goblin, the same won’t go for this one’ he heard footsteps
‘like hell it wont’ he heard ron yell, followed by the expelliarmus and what must have been harry stupefying his father. draco rushed in, now dueling a more normal looking harry, until their attention caught on bellatrix, a knife to grangers throat. they dropped there wands, and he did as instructed, picking them up. lucius was summoning the dark lord when they heard a tittering on the ceiling, and the chandlier crashing. it all moved so fast and harry was now wrestling draco for his wand back. he tried, but harry had already pried it out of his cold and shaky hands.
‘STUPID ELF. THAT COULD HAVE KILLED ME’
‘dobby never meant to kill. dobby only meant to maim or seriously injure’ the house elf squeaked, and draco had never resisted a chuckle so hard.
‘HOW DARE YOU TAKE A WITCHES WAND. HOW DARE YOU DEFY YOUR MASTERS’
‘dobby has no master, dobby is a free elf, and he has come to save Harry Potter and his friends.’ and with that they apparated out, not without bella throwing a knife into the mix.
-
meanwhile, y/n was receiving letters of her own. not from draco either. letters from the schools she applied to. so far everything was good, except for princeton, but she didn’t have the highest expectations. she was accepted to the university of british columbia, seattle university, even ucla. she only had one letter left, and the large stuffed yellow envelope sat in her hands. she wasn’t sure about it- would she even be able to go to the univeristy of london? it was far, but draco was there, well closer to there atleast. accepted- it read. it was an option, and she still had weeks to think about it.
-
draco was very hesitant to write after the incident at the manor, the screams of Hermione, and the terrifying looking potter still vivid in his brain and nightmares. he often woke from sleep in a sweat, yet freezing cold. whispers of the war around his house also haunted his mind and soul. he’d walk to the window and look up at the the stars, they were under the same sky, at least. eventually he had to write her, it had been half a month and he couldn’t leave her hanging alone again.
y/n
love, im sorry for being hesitant, but there is going to be a war. i hate to leave you contact-less, but i need you to be safe now more than ever. i couldn’t live with myself if you got hurt. potter and his friends were brought here to the manor, it didn’t last long- they escaped within the hour and a half. with that doped elf, and a goblin too. if you don’t hear from me again, remember i love you. and always will.
draco
of all the letters y/n had recieved, from draco in all, that was probably the most displeasing. a war? like with tanks and bombs? tears were shedding down her face as she wrote the shortest response yet. knowing he most definitely didn’t have time to listen to her talk about schools, and how she got accepted to london, but her parents deemed it to far, ubc would have to do, she’d find her way to him eventually, if they were meant to be.
draco
stay safe, i love you.
yn.
-
draco now stood at snapes new office, dozens of corpses on the floor, pooled in blood. the dark lord speaking parsel tounge to nagini. no one needed to speak it to know that the man was infuriated about something potter had done.
-
the information he left was lacking, was he serious? what did wizarding wars even look like? her graduation date was set, June 6th, but it all seemed irrelevant, suddenly picking out a dress didn’t seem as fun as she thought, same with getting portraits taken. should she have said more?
-
next thing he knew the protection spell was countered and he apparated in, grabbing zabani and goyle by the collar. rushing them into a corridor and waited for the door of the room of requirement to completely vanish before approaching himself. they successfully found harry, opening a box carefully before finally drawing attention to themselves.
‘well well, what brings you here, potter’ draco said, softly, much to his surprise as he meant it to sound snarky and rude
‘i could ask you the same’
‘i believe you have something of mine, and id like it back’ was he becoming… kind?
‘whats wrong with the one you have?’ harry replied
‘it’s my mothers, powerful but different, doesn’t fully understand me, im sure you know the feeling’
‘why didn’t you tell her. bellatrix? you knew it was me, and you didn’t tell her’ he wasn’t exactly sure what to say, nor did he know. harry really didn’t have anything to do with his feelings for y/n, maybe he should have just turned in him when he had the chance, it would all be over if he had.
‘don’t be a wuss draco, just do it now’ goyle whispered in his ear, making him chill the same way bellatrix did on the astronomy tower, almost a year ago.
‘expelliarmus’ hermione half shouted, causing narcissas want to fly out of dracos hands and run the other way.
‘avada kedavra’ goyle missed and weaslebee started chasing after them, yelling something about his girlfriend. turning back around after goyle unsuccessfully casted the fiendfyre curse.
fear was making his body almost rattle as he desperately climbed bookcases in an attemp to outrun the flames. he watched goyle fall, into the orange. yes, he was a complete and utter twat, but wasn’t a half bad friend during dracos bullying peek. his foot slipped, now just his hands were keeping him up, and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold on. in the distance he saw the three, zooming off to safety in the distance, leaving them their to die. not that he blamed them, after anything he did to them, he would have probably left himself there aswell.
but potter was flying towards him, arm out-stretched, grabbing onto his own and hoisting himself on the broom. had he already died? must not have, because the heat had finally caughten up. feeling as though he was going to pass out, he gripped tighter onto harry, maintaining his position on the broom. so much for staying safe. the second they made it out, they crashed onto the ground. he wanted to thank harry, but found himself running off instead.
explosions and hexes were being sent everywhere. people dying left and right. giants and trolls and spiders helping, he found himself in the slytherin common room. partially because he wanted to say goodbye, as he never wished to return to the building again once he had the choice. and partially as he was now aware of a large burn on his arm, and he felt a need to put off fighting until absolutely necessary. he entered through the portrait, for the last time. it felt like an aquarium, looking out upon the lake filled windows, merpeople and the giant squid often zooming by. he sat down upon the sofa, where he spent countless hours avoiding homework, plotting against potter and swimming in lust of his pure-blood status that now felt like a curse. he went up to his dorm, where he did very similar things. he wondered as to what he would be doing if he was a muggle right now. picking out a suit for graduation, buying a corsage for his date, but he wasn’t, so he best get going. running his hands along the furniture before leaving, not looking back.
the noise in the entrance courtyard had completely been diminished and draco found his way into the crowd of students pooling in. death eaters swarmed towards them at a painfully slow place, his mother and father near the head of the group. he noticed hagrid, towering above them, carrying what could only have been harrys corpse.
he watched carefully as they approached, trying to wedge himself inbetween and behind other students.
‘harry potter is dead’ voldemort paused ‘from now on, you put your faith in me’ silence fell over the hundreds of people who were know gathered. he swished his robes and turned backwards facing his followers
‘HARRY POTTER IS DEAD’ obnoxious and deafening cackles erupted
‘and now is the time to declare yourselves. come to our side, or die’ even more silence fell.
‘draco’ his father hissed before repeating ‘draco’
he felt eyes fall all over him, gazing expectantly. tears ran down his face.
don’t talk like that, saying you don’t have a future. you do draco, you deserve another chance and infinite amounts of them. was this what she meant? he’d been looking for another chance, maybe this was it.
he shook his head no, and noticed his father had fallen a shade of pale he didn’t know existed.
‘Draco, DRACO’ he yelled, clearly enranged, but before he could continue - a movement shifted in hagrids arms, and harry fell out. in a heartbeat draco threw his wand to the scar faced boy. he caught it, looking grateful as he could while casting some sort of spell at nagini. death eaters were disappearing into the air- including lucius, narcissa being dragged with him.
draco didn’t know what to do with himself, he was wandless and he couldn’t fight, unless he wanted to engage in an actual physical duel, which he didn’t. he found himself in the great hall, asking professor sprout if she needed help patching those up, she pulled him into a hug, unexpectantly. he never recalled such contact or connection with a professor. he spent the rest of the battle helping healing wounds with dittany, and caring for those left in the wake. it was a nice distraction from the fact he would most definitely be disowned, left a family-less orphan at 17.
-
y/n couldn’t blame him for not writing, he clearly stated that it might be the last time. but every night she cried until she couldn’t cry anymore, or until she fell asleep. how could she like him so much? they’d never even met. she didnt really need to see him to know him, his letters told him enough about him. and she could only hope- that if he managed through his six year without killing his headmaster, he could make it through the war.
-
he delayed going back to the manor for as long as possible, until he decided to apparate directly into his room. he considered packing his things up, but realized no one was home. he was thankful, he don’t think he would ever be able to fully confront his parents again. he fell asleep in his bed, and slept for 48 hours straight. he slept through very vivid dreams, ones of y/n being tortured the same way as Hermione, ones of the dark lord coming alive once again and killing his mother because of his choices. he couldn’t bring himself to sleep again purposefully, no matter how exhausted he was. the days weren’t much better, his mind raced at unbelievable paces. he saw the dead bodies laying around the great hall, the unrecoverable ones. maybe he should have just fallen into the fire, surely that would have been easier. he was slowly becoming thinner, and always needed multiple blankets to even stay at a somewhat warm temperature, his heart beat faster than normal. he often felt pains in his neck, and his eyes were almost always puffy from crying. he spent so much time in bed he almost didn’t hear his owl flutter onto his nightstand mid afternoon, a small package tied loosely around his neck.
he opened it to see a letter, muggle candies and a worn book. suddenly he felt more awake, and be shot up a little to fast then he should have, sitting on the edge of his bed.
draco.
i don’t know where you are, or if youre alive, if youre reading this now. i hope this doesn’t arrive at a bad time. but your 18 now, so happy birthday. if you are seeing this, i still love you. i think about you all the time. i hope you are okay, and safe. in case you don’t end up writing me back, i just thought I’d give you some random information to keep you company and away from your mind. i graduate tomorrow. i look at your picture everyday. I remember what you once told me about following my dreams, so instead of medicine, im going to study literature and business next year. im staying in kelowna aswell for now, hoping maybe you’ll be able to visit someday. im sure you’d like it. my favourite colour is still green. i don’t know what else to say.
always here to listen if you’d like to talk. yn.
was it actually his birthday? had it already been a month since the war? it felt like a year but the visions played over and over like it was yesterday. it took him awhile before it clicked. the war was over, Voldemort was dead and there was no one to stop him from seeing her. he completely disregarded the lightheaded feeling he got when he stood up to fast- and rushed to his wardrobe. it took him a bit longer than he thought to pack up all his clothes, including the thousands of letters he kept hidden in a large drawer. the trunk was a bit heavier than he may have thought, and he ended up needing to take a car, in fear that he may not be able to apparate successfully to the airport without injuring himself. he quickly found out that muggle travelling was harder than he thought, and security and customs were also apparently a thing that all people needed to get through.
he wrapped himself in his cloak and didn’t get a drop of sleep the whole plane ride. it was nighttime when they flew over montreal, and then toronto. the sun rose as they crossed through winnipeg, regina, and calgary. he didn’t know this himself ofcourse, but he aggressively hit the map on the screen in front of him, desperate to know where he was. he only got an hour of half decent sleep before he felt rattling of the plane landing, and he gripped tightly onto the arm rests. he struggled for half an hour before he even got sight of his luggage on the moving thing that went round and round. compared to London, kelownas airport was very small and easy to navigate. the air outside was hot, making draco feel even more self concious about his clothing choices.
-
y/n put her hair back into a twist with a clip taking a suprising amount of effort to make sure it looked okay. her makeup was natural looking, nothing crazy but she looked gorgeous none the less. she slipped into her black romper, some canadians didn’t wear their fancy dresses to convocation, only something simple to go with the cap and gown. she arrived at the ceremony, seeing everyone, with excited smiles and laughs, conversing amongst themselves. and every memory came rushing back. they sat in rows on a stage, listening to the heartfelt and extremely cheesy speech the staff made every single year. she’d never noticed how many kids were in her age group until they were being called up one by one.
‘alex can’
‘ruth lee’
and the list went on and on until finally
‘y/n l/n’ the moment had come, and she shook everyone’s hand, receiving her diploma and flipping her caps tassel to the left. ‘y/n is staying around next year, and attending the university of british columbia okanogan, good luck l/n’ her principal said and claps continued like they had and the rest of the list finished sooner, or seemed to go by faster, she wasn’t sure. 
-
draco had never had to find a taxi by himself, but once he did he gave the driver the only place he knew, the address he saw on the top corner of her first response almost two years ago.
-
y/n pulled away from the school grounds, watching them disappear in her rear view mirror. it was hot with a breeze, but she smiled the whole way home. she’d done it, made it through every assignment and class, dealt with attention hungry bitches, and crappy teachers. the next door was truly opening. pulling up to her house, and closing her car door as she hopped out, she watched her feet carry her up to the house. turning the corner, she saw him, sitting there on her steps, a present wrapped horribly in his hands, looking very out of place in his black cloak. she stopped in her own steps and he hesitantly stood up, before she launched herself into his arms breathing in his cologne, finally together after all this time.
332 notes · View notes
oh-for-fic-sake · 4 years
Text
If They Get Married I'd Be Your Uncle
Masterlist
Warnings: swearing, mentions of sex, flirting, Bruce is frustrated
A/n:So been in a dc mood today and couldn’t get this out of my head i really hope you enjoy it xx
Bruce meets you when you both get called into the school and instantly wants you to himself.
Tumblr media
If They Get Married I'd Be Your Uncle.
You grumbled as you walked up to the pretentious school pissed that it wasn't near any bus routes, cos these type of people don't use that sort of thing. The walk was long and arduous especially after the 10 hour shift you just finished cos some stupid little twat decided he didn't feel like coming in today and called in 'sick' at the last minute even tho you heard his giggling girlfriend in the back ground. Sighing you pulled out your hair tie slapping it up into a neater messy bun as you made your way into the school reception stopping ,you raised an eyebrow at the receptionist as she gave you a side glance pretending not to notice you. You looked up to the ceiling praying for some restraint because you'd had just about as much as you could take today and didn't need the snobby attitude of these people. After a few moments you looked at her.
"Excuse me I'm here to see Mr Koleman I'm running a bit late so could you sign me in?" you said as calm as possible she rolled her eyes.
"Mr Kolman doesnt take personal meetings on the school grounds" she said snidely dismissing you , you growled at the implication.
"I'm Jack Cookes sister you phoned me earlier?"
"oh? you have an appointment?" she said. you grit your teeth.
"Trust me if I didnt I wouldnt be here" she gave you the once over then reached a perfectly manicured hand beside her screen lifiting a clip board
" and your Mrs?" you shook your head
"Miss Cooke with an e" a chuckle and whispers rippled through the office as she checked you in and handing you a visitors pass. You snatched it and made your way down to the hall to a mini reception outside the principles office. As you opened the door you spotted your little brother supporting a bloody nose ,cut cheek and eyebrow. Ignoring everyone you ran across the room stopping before him and his best friend.
"Oh for fuck sake Jack, here let me look" you said tilting his face this way and that you looked beside him swivling on your feet pulling the boys face up.
"Damien are you ok- seriously you to?" you cut yourself off seeing a dark bruise on the boys jaw you tutted rummaging through your bag pulling out a pack of ibuprofen and small bottle of water passing it to them both.
"here take these" stopping as the principles secretary snapped at you.
"Miss! you cannot give medication to other student's god knows what they are!!" you rolled your eyes giving the sleeve of tablets to Jack who then popped out two and gave them to Damien before taking his own.
"Happy?" you quipped at her with an innocent smile then turned to Jack
"Jack please please tell me you still have all your teeth" he smiled showing a full set then looked at Damien who copied. You sighed in relief smoothing both boys hairs then placed a kiss on each of their heads. You continued coddling them unaware of the man behind you watching shocked as damien sat still letting you fuss over him. Bruce didnt know you from adam but damien apparently did
"Was it them again? I told you if your gonna retaliate keep it off campus!" you said kneeling in front of them hand on either boys knee.
"We didn't start it." your brother stated and you believed him , he and Damien get themselves into trouble I mean there a couple of teenage boys there bound to act up but he doesn't just 'verbally disrespect people and attack other students' as the teacher on the phone had put it.
"Ok what happened?" you asked they both looked down Damien spoke up first
"They started calling us names again, kyle tripped and blamed Jack for it getting him told off so i called Kyle out on it then they started calling us names again we told Mrs Hatt and she laughed saying sticks and stones" . Jack continued
"So I called her a drunk fat bitch who was at best a fucking baby sitter, kyle slammed my head into the desk for it cos he's a little ass lick." you sighed as Damien took over
"SoIi punched kyle in the face knocking him on his ass and Clarence hit me and Jack headbutted him then we were pulled apart"
"yeah were did you learn to punch like that? he went down like a sack of shit" Jack asked laughing damien joined him laughing you deadpanned as they high five'd one another.
"Ok guys thats neither here nor there the point is your teacher sat back and watched?" they nodded there teacher seemed to have a problem with your brother due to your social class, he'd been accepted as part of a new law that all private schools must accept a certain number of full scholarship students to give everyone 'an equal opportunity' you'd been complaining to the school about the bullying and the teachers attitude but nothing has been one it seems.
"So you didn't hit them first?" you asked Damien shook his head at you. you believed them they were good kids.
"Good but you know fighting isn't the answer right?" they shook their heads you stood up fully taking a seat beside them.
"Damien thank you for helping him and Jack fuck sake don't you know headbutting hurts you more than the other guy. I'm sorry this is still happening guys but I'm gonna take care of it ok? trust me?" they both nodded at you still looking a little sorry for themselves you swung around in your seat only now seeing Bruce sitting opposite you.
"Bruce Wayne, you must be Jacks sister Y/n was it?" you nodded as his hand devoured your in a hand shake.
"Yep that's me. sorry your boy got dragged into this" he chuckled waving it off
"He will always find trouble at least this time its for sticking up for his friend, im glad to finally have a face to put to the name they talk about you alot" you nodded at that couldn't help your breathing hitch slightly at his smile his eyes seemed to burn into you analyzing you. You flushed slightly under his gaze
"Good things i hope" he nodded at you licking his bottom lip damien sighed you loked away before smirking at Jack.
"You really called her a drunk fat bitch?" he laughed proud of himself
"Yeah, sticks and stone and all that thought id test it" you laughed out loud
"To quick for them huh? I see where your going with it tho smart ass" he smiled sheepishly
"Well it worked for you, had to give you a leg to stand on" you laughed high fiving him . Bruce flinched as the display made you look your age. your relationship with your brother was a strange one. One moment you had to be the 'politically correct parent' the next you could return to being his 'cool older sister', there was 12 years between you but it didn't bother either of you , it wasn't that long ago that you were in school so you understood him. You struck up a conversation with the two boys, Damien had been the only one in the school to get along with Jack and you were thankful that they found each other two peas in a pod and he seemed to be coming round constantly it hadn't taken long before you started mothering him to. They were always together at your house or the manor but youd never met bruce jntill today sure damien had spoke about him, convinced that the two of you would hit it off, you just laughed him off saying it was wishfull thinking, but you couldnt help but wonder as you sat across from the handsom man well aware of his eyes watching your every move. Bruce watched fascinated as you seemed to be on the same level as the boys , if he was honest he was happy to see Damien relaxed around someone. Damien constaly gushed about you to him and he could see why as his eye scanned you up and down taking everything in , you was certainly beautiful petite and slightly heavy set you had a young carefree air about you that still held a nurturing aspect , probably what drew damien to you the boy had never had a motherly type of women around him, hell even he felt drawn to you in more ways then one, he noted as he felt,his blood rush south. It had been a while since any woman had coaxed such a strong reaction from him. He'd never been one for the young domestic type but there was something in him that wanted you. He tried reasoning that it was because of the way you had coddled his son, or maybe it was that he missed that motherly affection himself, but no there was something more then that a deep atraction pulling at him.He could see why Damien had taken a shine to you he'd be lying if he said he hasn't already been thinking of a reason to meet up with you outside of school. It was rare that someone caught him by surprise and you had defiantly caught him by surprise. Clearing his throat he re-position himself on his seat as his boxers became tighter embarrassed and admittedly a bit confused as watching you mother the two teens had begun to arouse him. You looked over to him with concern.
"Are you ok Mr Wayne?" he inwardly groaned at the name and way you looked at him so innocently ,no idea what you were doing .fuck. He forced a charming smile
"Yes just wish they'd hurry up." you sighed pouting slightly
"It seems a bit stupid calling this an emergency then making us wait this long. twats." you snipped crossing your arms across your chest huffing he chuckled hearing the barely held back irritation, imagining just how bratty you could be, and exactly how he could deal with said bratty behaviour a shiver ran down his spine, he sucked through his teeth as his cock twitched at the thought his mind racing to other tempting scenarios of you and him, shaking his head he had to snap himself out of it. The door opened and you were both called in. He watched wide eyed as you rose your demeanor changed completely, gone was a fun loving motherly young woman and there stood a less than impressed mama bear under 5ft tall but walked like a giant. He blinked and staggered in behind you thankful that he opted for a longer blazer that helped cover his 'situation' once in the office you set down in front of Mr Koleman the principle a stout balding man that was king of his own little castle and like to let everyone know it.
Mr Koleman looked at you with distaste then smiled shaking hands with Bruce.
"Ah Mr Wayne good to see you again tho I hoped it was on better terms. Miss Cooke I'm glad you could come down today I wasn't sure you'd make it this time." he said condescendingly you smirked putting on your polite 'adult' voice.
"well I've been trying to get an appointment with you about these issues that I'm sure your fully aware of, however you seem fully booked so I'm glad I finally have the opportunity to straighten a few thing out" he grimaced as he took a seat behind the desk.
" Yes well I am a very busy man." he said
"Yes I noticed that when the receptionist mistook me for a personal visitor." you hear Bruce cough covering a laugh as the principle opened and closed his mouth speechless.
"Any way what was it you wanted to discuss Mr Koleman?" he scowled not used to being shut down by a young women. He leaned forward shuffling papers
"yes well we've been having problems with Jack for a few months as your aware-"
"Yes I'm aware that he is being targeted by his teacher and bullied by other students in the class which is being over looked and in some instances encouraged by the staff at this school. but go on." you interupted him staring at him unblinkingly Bruce gapped before collecting himself sitting back to watch the show the distinct feeling that you were going to rip this man a new arsehole.
"Uh-oh i was not aware of that"
"do not lie to me" you growled 'and here we go' Bruce thought he'd been with enough women to know that all hell was going to break loose as the quiet sweetheart form out side became a little spitfire in the office and couldn't help the a quick fantasy of you being this fiesty for him in his office. You pulled out a small red diary from your bag turning to dates in it.
"On the 4th of March I phoned the school and spoke to a Mrs Hatt to discuss cases of bullying she said that it was being taken care of and that I had no reason to worry. March the 12th Jack came home with bruises on his back caused by the same students they had tied knots in there ties and whiped him with them while getting changed for p.e, I had raised concerns about it nothing was done. I phoned again and once again was fobbed off by Mrs Hatt that there was nothing happening, then Jack comemhome with a sprained wrist, then it was bruised stomach, then a cut forhead and a brokennfinger from them smashing it in a door etcetera these incidents continued and I continued to report them and it was always the same names that popped up, the same three boys. I'd had enough on May 21st I phoned and asked to speak to you instead I got through to a Mrs Hamsten? the vice principle?" you watched as his face became paler and paler as you spoke he nodded. Bruced leant back eyes blown finding himself getting hotter as he watched you tear down the man infront of you.
"Yes and she said that the boys had been put into detention for it which turned out to be a lie another student confirmed that nothing had been done. I then put my issue in writing, I wrote a letter sent by recorded post to you about the issue and received a reply, sighed by you, that you have a no tolorence policy and would look into it, nothing has been done and now you have the audacity to call me up and have me come in here because he finally had enough and stuck up for himself because this little shit split his face open on a desk whilst the teacher watched? tell me Mr Koleman do you still want to pretend you dont know what I'm talking about because I've recored all the calls I've made about this." you tore into him as he shrunk further and further into his seat not prepared for you to come at him so direct. Bruce didnt know what the fuck happened to the sweet little thing he saw outside but what he did know was that was one of the sexist things he'd seen as you asserted yourself beautifully not giving the man time to respond. If it wasn't for Mr Koleman sitting behind the desk he'd already have you spread out on it underneath him. 'Another time'he thought to himself he licked his lips tugging at his trousers again trying to ease the ache in his cock as it strained against its confines.
"Ah yes well, now that I think about it I do remeber a letter" he stumbled over his words you nodded your head
"Yes I'm sure you do. Today was the inevitale blow up." He collected himself looking at Bruce for some sort of back up instead the billionaire scowled at him.
"Be that as it may there is no excuse for calling a teacher a drunk fat bitch." you nodded
"I agree how ever it was for science. Your member of staff who has neglected her duty to keeping my brother safe on school grounds ,has brushed off his bullying useing 'stick and stones' so he decied to test that theory by calling her a drunk fat bitch, turns out names do hurt and caused her to become agitated that she allowed him to have his face smashed into a desk by another student cutting open his eyebrow, cheek and bloody his nose. I dont think she should be able to teach if she cant practice what she preaches and certainly shouldnt be left incharge of children if she is that unstable that she would allow an attack to happen because her feeling were hurt."
"yes well he dragged Mr Waynes son into this-"
"Damien and Jack are friends Damien saw Kyle attack Jack and defended him which is more I can say for the staff at this school. I'm warning you Mr Koleman sort it out before I go to the press. How do you think that would look? when your school board find out that Mr Wanyes son was injured defending his friend when the teacher didn't lift a fucking finger. You wanna go there? cos I fucking will I've had enough." he sat up straighter alarmed, Bruce moaned deep in his chest but watching you was really doing it for him he didnt know why or care in all honesty he just wanted more of you.
"No, no theres no need for that. We can sort this out between us no need for the governors or press. Mr Wayne is there anything you'd like to add." he said trying hard to wrap up this meeting. You looked at Bruce who frankly you forgot was even there he shook his head looking strange, shifting in his chair uncomfortably.
"I think Miss Cooke summed everything up wounderfully, and she has my full support sort out these kids, I know that they have been causing Damien problems name calling getting him in trouble such and he has said the teacher dosn't do anything about it. I wont stand for it any more , if its not sorted out by the end of the week I will bring Miss Cooke with me and we will speak to the school bored in person." You let out a breath you didnt know you was holding relief flooded you as he said this slightly worried that he'd throw you under the bus. He locked eyes with you his pupils were blown wide and he was breathing heavy he winked subtly, you flushed looking back to the man behind the desk as he cleared his throat.
"Right well I will see to it personally and it will be sorted by the end of the week, you both seem to have concerns with Jack and Damien's teacher so as of tomorrow I will have them moved into another class whilst I investigate. I will phone you both up to check in with the boys I'm terribly sorry that it has been left this long." he stood motioning for you both to do the same ending with.
"The boys can leave early today while I deal with this." Bruce opened the door letting you through growling as the principle made a point to oogle your ass as you left, quickly standing between you blocking his veiw of you he glared at the fat prick his message was clear. That hot little spitfire is mine so back off. He stared down at him chest puffed out standing taller and broarder intimidating the little weasel until he looked away. Bruce smirked then left the office slamming the door behind him finding you explaining to the boys what was happening, joining you as they stood up getting there bags .
"you boys go out and wait by the car while we sign out at the front." Bruce instructed they nodded running ahead to the school enterance.
"The car?" you asked looked up at him shyly
"Yes i will give you both a lift" he said leaving no room for argument. You thanked him then spoke quietly looking down trying not to freak out as he stood closer then you thought was neccasary.
"Thank you for sticking up for me in there, I dont usually get like that but you know I get a bit protective." he chuckled at you showing off a brilliant smile
"Its no problem, to be honest I found the whole mama bear thing very sexy your lucky we we'rnt alone" he said winking you blushed
"Wh-what? sh-shut up" you squeeked out he shook his head at you as he put an arm out over you holding the doors to main reception you thanked him queitly skipping through feeling small catching yourself breathing deeper to smell more of his fresh scented cologne.
"No I'm serious any where else and well" he wiggled his brows at you making you giggle
"and the way you are with damien?ive never seen him like that" he asked trailing off
"Yes well he is a sweet kid, he comes over quiet a bit as you know Alfred drops him off and the boys go off doing their thing, just sort of started to mother him a bit sorry" he smirked at you
"Well if I'd known how stunning you were it'd be me dropping him off. And dont apologize I'm not mad just a bit jealous. Tho not for long" he said handing his pass to the snooty receptionist who gave him bedroom eyes before glaring at you for keeping his attention.
"J-jealous? of Damien why?" you stuttered then bit your lip blushing. He groaned the site of it as he throbbed agin nearly cumming as his cock rubbed harshly agains the soft cotton of his boxers, he just couldnt control it. oh he was definatly gonna have you for himself, somehow you turned him into a horny teenager all over again.
"Well he got to have all your attention earlier, hurts a mans pride when his son can capture a beautiful woman's attention and he cant." you looked away from him giving your pass to the secatary who snatched it with a snarl.
"Im hoping you'd show some mercy and come out for lunch with me?" you gasped snapping your gaze at him.
"Wh-what you mean to talk about the school?"
"No as in a date" he explained you froze feeling butterflies in your tummy looking at the gorgeous man.
"Date? now? like right now?" he nodded smirking thoroughly enjoying you being so flustered.
"yes now I dont have anything else planned for today." you gulped when he gave you a heated look you felt like a meal taking a step back
" I'd love to but I have to clean up Jack and-." you began your excuse only for him to cut you short.
"Nonsense he can come to the manor and spend the day with Damien, Alfred is a good nurse he will patch them up." you blinked trying to think of another reason as he stood staring you down at you waiting to for to decide feeling like a deer in the head lights you realized this alpha of a man wasn't going to give you much of a choice.
"O-ok if your sure alfred wouldn't mind watching him." you nodded shyly Bruce gave a triumphant smirk and threw an arm across your shoulders tucking you against him walking to the main doors.
"Alfred wont mind watching the boys." you both walked outside to the boys Damien sighed at his dad before Jack spoke up.
"Told you he was looking at her ass"
"JACK! He was not!" you screeched at him damien laughed and bruce unlocked the range rover
"I thought I was being subtle about it" you gaped at him speechless as he opened the passenger door the boys gagged getting in the back. You got in the car pouting to yourselfand Bruce climbed in.
"Fucking hell I've never seen her speechless, how'd you do that?" Jack said Damien scoffed
"Dad just keep your boner in your pants until were out of the way."
"Yer shes my sister dont need to see her sucking face." You blushed trying to shush the boys
"DAMIEN! He does not have a boner!"
"Uh yer he does look."You tired not to look you really did but it just sort of happend you squeeked covering your mouth faceing forward and jumped as bruce leant over buckling your seat belt whispering in your ear.
"I did tell you the mama bear was sexy" puljng away he spoke to the boys
"Dont worry boys, we will behave until your out of ear shot" You gapped as they cringed with cries of 'ew dad no' and 'come on thats my sister' he laughed at them patting your thigh before pulling out of the school
"So you asked her on a date yet Dad?" Bruce raised and eye brom looking at him in the rear view mirror pulling out onto the main road.
"Well we are dropping you both off at the manor does that answer your question?"
Jack groaned not sure if he likes the idea of his sister dating his best friends dad.
"dont you hurt her Mr Wayne I know where you live" you smiled at that finding it cute him trying to be the protective little man. The drive was quiet for a while before jack piped up.
"Holy shit if they get married I'd be your uncle" you groaned holding you face in your hands bruce only laughed
"Jack its one lunch date jesus"
".....Can I walk you down the isle?"
"JACK?!"
"What she means is well cross that bridge when we come to it" you stared at Bruce as he smirked enjoying teasing you the boys snickered in the back. You sat back wondering just what you'd gotten youself into.
988 notes · View notes
acciostorian · 4 years
Text
mae reads the kane chronicles: the serpent’s shadow the red pyramid
(aka we see mae go through many emotions in the space of 2-3 days)
holy fuck ive only got to the contents and the chapters have those classic pjo click bait titles i’m so happy rn
WAIT IM SUCH A FUCKING IDIOT- the serpent’s shadow is the THIRD BOOK. uh-oh i almost fucked this whole series over lemme change the book real quick....
i’m literally on the first page and i’ve already been sent on a mission, so the kanes are THOSE bitches
SADIE AND KANE ARE BRITISH???? omg yes please
THEYRE IN LONDON MY HOME
never fucking mind they’re from LA
oh wait sadie was raised as a british kid. that’s very sexy of her.
carter be like, “you wouldn’t be interested in my dad’s lectures.” SHUT UP CARTER I WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT EGYPTIAN PUNISHMENT
so sadie was raised in east london???? THATS SO SEXC BECAUSE ME TOO BOO
sadie has a british accent. a b r i t i s h a c c e n t.
FIT
“six years in london and she thinks she’s james bond” LMAO
sadie’s so emo/alt i love it. does rick always write his characters like this??
sadie pronounces it “mum” and carter says “mom”
it’s so refreshing to read mum ngl
sadie said bloke omg
i’m feeling carter’s pain. little sisters are shits and honestly sadie has the same vibes as my little sister and me and carter are quite similar. i hate this.
oh wow they really said sadie was too white for their family...
sadie did not HESITATE to be like, “yeah dad we’ll lock that guy in his office. mint.”
sadie telling the story is an experience
sadie said “maths” and “mates” in the same sentence. this is some refreshing shit.
sadie’s friends saying carter is hot is fucking hilarious. like it’s a classic piss-off to thirst over your mate’s sibling
THEYRE GETTING DEPORTED????
LMAO AMOS WAS LIKE, “yeah we don’t talk about manhattan. they’ve got their own problems. *cough percy jackson cough*”
i read thoth the god of knowledge as thot the god of knowledge
carter is right, amos has undeniable swag
philip of macedonia. the crocodile. cool.
i love how the greeks and romans be like “if we don’t honour the gods we’ll get SLAUGHTERED” and the egyptians are like “you know what? fuck the gods me and my homies hate the gods”
sadie kane would stab you in a back alley and dance to mcr as you bled to death and carter kane would take you to a museum, tell you everything about everything and then commit a terrorist attack
amos really went “don’t touch anything, the cats in charge and peace out bitches” and then fucking jumped off the balcony of his five storey mansion
sadie made that door go BANG
that fucking clay statue came to life and not one of them screamed. I WOULD SHIT MYSELF.
i’m giggling, all the greek/roman gods have really long/scary/cool sounding names like tartarus and chaos and nyx but the evilest guy in egyptian myth is called set. S E T.
please make muffin some crazy badass animal like crookshanks or swiftwind.
WHO DARES THROW HANDS WITH PHILIP?????
THE SHABTI FUCKING STOLE AN ARTEFACT THATS AMAZING
i love carter sm, even tho he’s scared as fuck he still picked up that ancient sword and was like “ig i’ll bash some heads in whilst sadie holds the cat”
MUFFIN JUST TURNED INTO SOME WARRIOR CAT LADY AND SHE INSTANTLY GAVE ME CATRA VIBES
every cat in new york is helping them
bast jacked that car like it was nobody’s business
i used to think the greek gods were stupid for having so many things to control but honestly the egyptians are taking the piss, do you really need a whole scorpion goddess?
the kane siblings are written so well. like i actually BELIEVE they’re siblings
i think carters gonna become a comfort character now... like i relate on another level. little siblings always take the spot light and you have to act level headed and calm because the younger ones start shit and you’re like “i gotta be the good one because my family would fall to shit if i didn’t behave.” so big kudos to carter, i love you
so carter’s a king huh? I DIDNT NEED YOU TO TELL ME THAT RICK I ALREADY KNEW HE WAS
zia was like “king tut?? ugh he was such a boy, there were waaaaay cooler tombs out there x x”
i read “nectanebo II” as “nintendo II” and i was like ??? when was that a thing
i drinking camomile tea whilst reading this and i feel so peaceful uwu
sadie really can do magic like THAT like bitch be like “i just copied what zia did and yeah it worked lol”
okay so i’m sorta feeling bad about sadies life rn but i’m still very pro carter
set’s laugh makes me uncomfortable. because when most villains laugh it’s usually described like “their laugh was like a knife, cold and sharp. i hates it.” but when sadie discribed set’s laugh she was like “it was warm and friendly. beautiful.” LIKE AAAA THATS A RED LIGHT
set: the god of theatre because gods dam is he a good actor
sadie saw some hot emo guy and was like “omg marry me”
iskandar be like “lmao imma speak in alexandria greek all the time but this girl bouta die? i switch to perfect english for dramatic effect”
woooOooaaaah SLOW DOWN THERE BUDDY, tongue tattoos???
zia: you guys will probably suck at this at first but oh well we all can’t be great
sadie: *makes fire first time* wooosh
sadie and kane: *doing cool shit* me and my tea: sluuuurrrp
bast is so sassy i love it
me when it’s a sadie chapter: okay ig :/
me when it’s a carter chapter: HOLY SHIT CARTER HEY OMG YOURE DOING CRAZY STUFF???? COOL. i love you.
bast: so yeah, you’d be stupid to teleport to paris, this is desjardin’s home territory
sadie and kane, lying in the streets of paris: oh cool cool
sadie: like i might die rn but i don’t care, as long as it doesn’t get filmed and put in youtube, that would be embarrassing
like ???? sis get your priorities together smh
sadie: *sees hot emo guy again in her spirit adventure, he hints that’s he’s dead or something*
also sadie: so will i see you again?
“no, an egyptian drink. you’ve heard of hot chocolate? this is rather like hot vanilla.” dam now i want some.
carter is an amazing older brother. he’s written perfectly and he’s a great character to relate to for me. even though sadie can make his blood boil, he dropped everything to calm her down when she was panicking about not being able to change back from a bird. i too have to do that for my little sister - sadie and ava are ironically the same age - so i find that very comforting that there is someone like me to relate to!
‘a businessman with a rolling suitcase was waiting by the doors. his eyes widened when he saw me. i must’ve looked pretty strange — a tall black kid in dirty, ragged egyptian clothes, with a weird box tucked under one arm and a bird of prey perched on the other.
‘“how’s it going?” i said. “i’ll take the stairs.” he hurried off.’ LMAO THIS IS WHY CARTER BABY I LOVE YOU
highkey pissed that carters like “i’m always edgy around the police. once i turned eleven they started giving me the Look. when it doesn’t happen it’s always a pleasant surprise.” LIKE FUCK NO HE SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO WALK AROUND UNHASSLED WHATS WRONG WITH HIM
lmao bast be like “imma jump off this national monument. see ya at the airport in my finest clothes and jewellery x”
FOOD UPDATE: i’m eating a chocolate covered waffles and having some tea and i feel so happy rn sorry i know you don’t care but like aaaaaaa
bast called carter her little tomcat and my heart exploded
bast really likes convertibles huh
thoth: i hate rereading my old writing, my present self would never write like this now!! SOMEONE GET ME A RED PEN
are they... are they going to dig up elvis presley?
might put some elvis in for this part, y’know, to set the mood?
i cant stop reading ‘thoth’ as thot even though i know how to pronounce it
the captain with a axe for a head: my name is bloodstained battle axe 😸
yuh bast did some shit ...
imma stop now because spoilers, GO READ THE KANE CHRONICLES THEY ARE THE MOST UNDERRATED RIORDANVERSE BOOKS X X
32 notes · View notes
mihotose · 3 years
Text
okok itd be tedious making all these separate posts even tho i badly want to
love that he started with his book description + his pose
i think its really funny that they said he “narrated his life” in the jlod video since he did that for like five minutes max
havent watched kishou hongi so no idea what hes on about however the very mention of monoyoshi had me tearing up the first time
monoyoshi forcing his smile !!! ill talk about this later i love how these two contrast each other
him visiting everybody in the honmaru before he leaves got me :’‘‘‘‘‘)
everyone loves him so so so much!!!!! integral part of the honmaru
i didnt realise he was like speaking to specific people until he got to like urashima the first time and thats only bc he said kamekichi
so the second time i paid more attention and the things he said :’‘‘‘) some of my favourites:
imanotsurugi wanting to play with him so he told him to wait until he got back
so the shinsengumi have returned from their own journeys hm? i wonder if theyll expand on that or not lol
(as a matter of fact, so has imanotsurugi
really curious as to whether theyll do anything with those
saying he’ll have a drinking contest with hachisuka when he gets back lmao
saying he’ll take care of his hair to izuminokami (tho im realising hachisuka and izuminokami might be the other way round? i think hachisuka would be more likely for the drinking contest tho bc he can actually hold his liquor)
urashima trying to give him kamekichi!!!
matsui having a nosebleed smh
literally every time he talked about mihotose-gumi the stream cut out what a fucking curse
“sengo muramasa-san” tho. very interesting. distance, hm?
i wonder why they cut out aruji’s lines this time, since i havent watched any shows past 2018 is that the case now?
THE DANCE. i totally saw yuu’s choreo in this :’)
in my notes i keep saying i cry at mihotose-gumi but dont say what he said about them smh
muramasa gave nobuyasu poisonous flowers?????
i wonder if that was intentional or if that was like Fate trying to get him to kill a tokugawa (and if so how wonderful that he managed to Defy Fate)
the fact that he himself doesn’t know when hes lying and when hes telling the truth (so many layers to him he doesnt know when hes acting or not :/
ah the concept of nikkari being Stained my beloved.
TE NO HIRA
god Hands as a theme in tkrb in gneral tbh
(nikkari only singing his own parts of te no hira so yknow. if ishikirimaru ever gets a tanki they can. um. duet it across time and space.)
it is somewhat ironic that he says he used to be bigger since araki is too tall for him lol
my final note for my first watch just says NO underlined and i dont know what that was about in particular but i wholeheartedly agree
ok switching:
hes literally so beautiful. my god. cant see shit in the full stage view.
nobuyasu smiling “nikkari to” (nikkari’s influence)
“im not good at talking about my personal life” damn really.
this time on switching i could see his leadup to shinken hissatsu
belt first (his belt in hissatsu has confused me for a while now tbh) then the cape then unzipped his jacket and undid his hair
HIS HAIR!! i love it so much and god even tho he doesnt let it out in the game it totally adds to how like Pitiful he is here
god this whole fight sequence. just. absolute mental breakdown. he slowly unravels (like his hair) and gets more and more Disheveled and losing control of himself so much hes Laughing (remember in battle he normally stays pretty cool and says his stupid lines)
literally the fact that he would be willing to Do this just to get stronger so he can Save all his friends from going through all this pain
in the switching he undid his shirt buttons to be more like the hissatsu sprite which was more distracting than anything sfkjksjg
same vein: THREE QUARTER SLEEVES
after hissatsu he realises that everything hes killed, he just gets Stained more and more, even if his shortening did take some of it away
ishikirimaru realised that true strength isnt about defeating enemies, but nikkari also understands that ishikirimaru was able to defeat the kebiishi, which nikkari knows he himself couldnt
i wonder if this is related to his shortening ie he Used to be much stronger and now he feels weak in comparison and is trying to get himself back to that level
“ive never smiled from the bottom of my heart” bc its a mask isnt it!! just a facade !!
the more friends he has to protect the less he smiles !! very waki-ppoi but also how horrifically sad that he feels this way and yet keeps himself so emotionally reserved from the rest of them
THE GHOST WOMAN
I LOVE THAT ARAKI PLAYED HER
mental breakdown 2 !!!!
ok so basically nikkari’s been aware of her this whole time right but felt so guiltridden and regretfully that he couldnt bear to face her
and the fact that he immediately assumed she wanted her revenge on him shows how hes just been living in fear his whole life
THE WAY SHE TOOK CONTROL OF HIS BODY(?) AND REVEALED HIS RIGHT EYE
something that he hides all the time!!! literally exposing him metaphorically and physically
i didnt see how araki moved as the ghost woman the first time but the second time my god hes incredible isnt he
in addition the ghost woman’s robes on his right vs nikkari’s outfit on his left, obviously thats to show the ghost woman in his Right Eye, but idk i get some like. the masculine vs the feminine sides of him?
i love that this whole section with the ghost woman you can see both his eyes for Once !!!
ok. ok. her saying he could change history right there and make it so he doesnt kill her and he almost fucking Kills himself??? hello???
i seriously dont remember how he ended up on his knees after this or the specifics i was just crying my eyes out both times
“i want to smile. is it alright for me to smile?” (im guessing he means Genuinely, not forcing one. so shackled to his history he cant enjoy himself in the moment)
“you may”
“after everything ive done?” SO HEARTBREAKING
the ghost woman Ascends or is no longer malevolent or something now that nikkari’s acknowledged her (just thinking now if this was his ghost repelling power)
then the letters!!!! ive said i wasnt satisfied with them but i really enjoy how tanki has recontextualised them so im happier with them now :-)
if this all happened on his First day (jesus.) then that explains his ghost killing line in his first letter
KIWAME OUTFIT SCREAMS
HES SO BEAUTIFUL
I LOVE HIS CAPE AND HE ACTUALLY USES IT MORE NOW
the final song: doesnt he seem so much happier now hes dealt with things? isnt that wonderful :’‘‘)
its like hes looked around and things are in colour now
ok back to monoyoshi buried in the tags of some post from a while ago i wrote a bunch of words about how nikkari and monoyoshi are like complete opposite waki yet both centred around Smiles
monoyoshi having to Force his smile (something nikkari has always done) greatly alarmed him bc monoyoshi is just a lovely kid and realises he doesnt want any of his friends to go through the same thing (... the same thing he always does)
muramasa does the same thing in mihotose, tries to protect monoyoshi from being tainted, the same thing hes always been
so while monoyoshi is the one to say he’ll protect everyones smiles the same is also true for nikkari, though he doesnt say it (emotionally reserved)
same with nikkari even wishing everyone hadnt even been given life so they wouldnt have to suffer (like he does)
literally you can tell that he feels like his life is just. constant punishment to atone for his sins. keeping the name nikkari, wearing the ghost woman’s robes as a cape to remind himself (of course only one shoulder to remind himself he Could ahve been divine)
so then his kiwame outfit he wears it on both shoulders!! hes more accepting of himself, it seems in his hissatsu sprites the ghost woman is on his side now :’‘‘)
anyway the fact that araki decided to do this for two years, completely solo is so much more insane to me now ive seen it
like yes kiyomitsu and higehiza are ‘tanki’ and ‘souki’ but they all had dancers. nikkari’s is Completely solo.
ok i think im done ill wait for the delay now :-)
1 note · View note
wolferals · 4 years
Text
🌍parallel universes**🌍
arón piper imagine
!SEXUAL CONTENT!SMUT!
*
Tumblr media
*
„Hey you." you greeted Arón the second you walked in the door and saw the handsome actor sitting on his bed busy with his phone. He looked up for a quick second and nodded at you. Apparently he was VERY busy.
You went straight to his kitchen after putting down your bag in his room to just grab a quick snack after class.
His kitchen was always super messy so you spend some good five minutes cleaning before you actually went on to make yourself a sandwich.
But as you looked into his fridge you figured, simple toast with jam would have to do. How did this guy not starve?
Then you grabbed your sandwich and walked back to his room where you sat yourself down next to him just to see what he had been up to. While eating your sandwich you were watching him scroll through twitter. All the posts were in Spanish so you didn't quite know what was going on but Arón seemed pretty stressed out about something.
„You okay?" you carefully asked and scanned his side profile. He didnt look at you, he just kept scrolling. You noticed his uneasiness. His left hand had grabbed the sheets rather roughly, you could see the veins on his hand popping out.
„Arón?" you asked again but didnt get a response at all.
You kept on watching him internally freak out for a couple of minutes until you were done and grabbed his phone and slammed it next to you on the mattress.
„Whats wrong?" You sounded pissed off but you were actually just concerned.
Arón leaned his head back against the wall before finally looking at you for the first time this afternoon. „I fucked up." he simply said and ran his hand through his curls.
You looked at him in confusion and then responded:"What happened? What did you do?"
He gave you a sad look. After, he took a deep breath and turned around to face you completely.
„When I was dating Juliana (sorry if thats your name), you remember? I sent her this one picture. Only one! And she leaked it and im fucked. Everyone saw it."
You could see the tears forming in his brown eyes.
„Okay." you spoke and grabbed his hand. „Dont worry! Its gonna be fine. Its just a damn picture. What exactly was on it? Your face too?"
He shook his head. „But my tattoos."
You breathed in heavily before continuing:"Its okay, Arón, really. Its just a picture. Doesnt say anything about you. They know you're not sending shit like that to random people."
He laughed a fake laugh and said:"Y/n its a fucking nude. Its my chest and my fucking dick. Do you think they're gonna forget about it? No."
You just looked at him for a while because you werent sure what to say.
„You have to ignore it. They will stop talking about it tomorrow because something else will be more interesting, thats how twitter works. Just calm down please."
He nodded slowly and took another deep breath.
„Just please dont go on Twitter and ignore anything related to that. I dont want you to see that."
You nodded understanding and pressed his hand a little tighter. „Its gonna be alright." you spoke quietly and pulled him in a tight hug. He seemed to appreciate it since he pulled you really close to his chest and placed his flat hand on the back of your head.
„You're a good girl." he whispered and dug his head in the crook of your neck. To be honest, not the smartest choice of words since all you were thinking of now was this picture.
But the way he said it sounded so innocent, he wouldn't have meant it to be dirty.
„You wanna watch a movie?" you suggested as you let go of him. „Hm. Im not really in the mood. Can we listen to some music por favor?" he pouted and looked at you with big eyes.
„Of course." you replied and lied down on your back.
He did the same and put his arm around you so he'd be more comfortable.
„You okay?" you asked once again after he was just staring at the ceiling for a moment.
Arón simply nodded, his eyes not leaving the wooden ceiling. It felt good to be with him. Alone for the first time in a while, it was always someone around, you never got to talk to him, only him.
You then decided to put on some comforting music to maybe calm him down a bit since he was so drained.
Over the course of the first 3 songs you guys were just laying there, no one said a word. Until Arón suddenly spoke up.
„Do you ever think about if theres another world somewhere where all the people we know, and us are different people? Maybe we're friends in this other universe, or we dont know we exist at all."
You turned your head in confusion to his sudden philosophy.
He turned his head as well and you both ended up looking deep into the others eyes.
„Maybe... maybe we're older in the other world. Maybe we're even a couple or married. Maybe we have kids together, got divorced after 10 years and now we only see each other because of the kids. And maybe you've had another guy after the divorce who's treated you better than me. Because I'm sure I'd be the reason for our divorce."
On the one hand you were touched by his cute words but on the other hand it made you laugh how deep he suddenly got, talking about the both of you being an old divorced couple.
„You're crazy." you grinned and looked back at the ceiling.
Slowly you closed your eyes and fully concentrated on the music.
It was silent for a bit until you heard his voice again.
„Maybe i messed up in the other universe, maybe the other Arón ended up alone because he missed his shot, maybe he didnt use the chance to kiss the other y/n when the perfect moment had come. You'd be happy with another man and I would regret not kissing you all my life."
You opened your eyes. Just to see his face inches away from yours.
None of you said a word.
You kept staring into his deep brown eyes while they got closer and closer. He carefully leaned in and you were more than ready to feel his kiss.
„May I?" he whispered against your lips.
With a little nod you accepted and a moment later you felt his plump lips softly pressing against yours.
You expected his kisses to be rougher but you loved the way he kissed you that moment.
The kiss didnt last long, he pulled away and leaned his forehead against yours.
„You're all Ive ever wanted y/n. And im sorry, if you dont feel the same way thats okay. I just didnt want to regret not doing it." he explained in a soft tone before looking at you again.
You didnt know what to think that second but all you knew was that your body craved him. Your soul was screaming for his touch.
So you did what you had to do.
You pulled him down on the back of his neck to kiss him a little harder this time. He seemed surprised but kissed back immediately. He made you feel alive again, after your last sad relationship you didnt want to be in love again. But this boy made you fly.
After making out for a bit, you wanted more. You tugged on his shirt, telling him to take it off. He pulled away quickly and looked at you. „Are you sure you want to do this?"
You just nodded, your body shaking from the inside. You wanted him to love you the way no one ever did before.
Arón skillfully tore off his shirt and threw somewhere in the room. He then carefully took of yours, looking down at you in awe. „Bonita." he whispered and started planting soft tender kisses on your collar bones, neck and your boobs.
„Joder." he cursed as he kept kissing down your exposed stomach.
You started moaning quietly when he reached the hem of your pants. „Can I?" he asked again.
It killed you how sweet he was. You always thought he'd be the kind of guy to rip your clothes off in a second and fuck you rough but he wasnt acting like that at all.
Slowly he slid your jeans down your legs and threw them on the floor. Afterwards he climbed back on top of you to kiss you softly again. You could feel the passion in the kiss.
„Are you ready?“ he whispered while grabbing a condom from his nightstand. Quickly you pulled down your panties and sat up so he could take off your bra for you.
„You‘re so beautiful.“ arón murmured and grabbed your boobs carefully just to place a kiss on your lips again.
„Lie down bebe.“
You did as he said and lied down on your back. You looked up at him with lustfilled eyes. He looked so beautiful kneeling inbetween your legs, in just his boxers. His abs were glistening in the light and his curls were falling perfectly on his forehead.
You just waited for him to start you didnt notice that he took off his underwear meanwhile.
„Ready?“ he asked again and looked down at your exposed body while he was holding his surprisingly big dick in his right hand.
You nodded and couldnt stop staring at his cock that was already leaking precum into the condom.
„Alright babe.“
You were so horny by now you couldnt wait to feel him inside of you.
Slowly and very carefully he pushed his length in your pussy. You hadnt had sex in a long time so it did hurt a little bit. But nothing you couldnt handle.
He was staring into your eyes while his dick drove further into you inch by inch.
„estás bien?“ he whispered and held onto your waist.
With a simple nod you agreed.
„Can I move, does it hurt?“
You sat up a little bit. „Yeah you can move. Its okay.“
He lied fully on top of you just to see you closer.
„If it hurts tell me.“
You nodded yet again.
And then he pulled out an inch just to push his dick back inside of your walls. And it felt so damn good.
He continued in a slow pace and you softly moaned out. But eventually you needed more and told him.
„More.“
He grinned and started fucking you faster. Your eyes rolled back into your skull and you moaned our.
„Yes please.“ Arón grabbed your left hand just to place it next to your hand, intertwining your fingers.
„You‘re perfect.“ he groaned while his thick cock was pistoning in and out of you.
With a moan you replied to his statement.
„Baby you feel so good.“ he moaned out loudly. Very loud to be specific. His deep raspy voice threw you over the edge. Your back arched, your eyes rolled back and a loud high pitched moan left your mouth.
„Cum for me baby.“ he encouraged your orgasm and placed kisses on your neck as it hit you like a wave.
He really did make you feel like you were in heaven.
„Im close too honey. Ride me please.“ he suddenly begged after you had calmed down from your orgasm.
You just nodded and watched him pull out and you both switches positions. Carefully you sat on his dick and leaned forwards to hold onto him.
„Hmm fuck so pretty.“ he moaned and bit his lip when you slowly started bouncing up and down his thick shaft.
This angle made it possible for him to go even deeper.
„Bebesita. Faster por favor.“ he groaned and threw his head back. You tried to fuck his dick as fast as you could, just making yourself moan out loud.
Arón had grabbed onto your waist with one hand, and bit his other hand to stop himself from screaming out loud.
You could hear his muffled moans which only encouraged you to go even faster.
„Baby fuck im gonna...“ he tried to speak but his high was faster and his hips started to twitch and his mouth fell open.
A long deep scream left his mouth the second his orgasm hit him. You could feel his hot cum fill up the condom inside of you and it satisfied you to the max.
His body sank down into the mattress again and all you could hear was his hard breathing and your own heartbeat.
Without saying a word, you got off of him and lied down with your head on his chest and his arm around you.
He breathed out loudly and turned his head to face you.
„Joder.“ he laughed still out of breath. You smiled at him and replied:“I know.“
He pulled your sweating bodies closer together before pressing a soft kiss to your forehead.
„Thank you.“ you smiled at him.
„What for?“ he looked at you in confusion.
„For kissing me.“
He laughed, grabbed your face and kissed your lips once again.
46 notes · View notes
grxceblqckthxrn · 4 years
Text
hi @chocolatecarstairs came up with these post-CHOG questions and i really want to answer them because im sad that im finished reading it :((
MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW
what was your favorite part, 1 or 2?
Honestly I loved both parts, but I’d say I loved part two just a little bit more for the time that James wasn’t under the curse anymore and LOVED Cordelia
which scene in the book was your favorite?
EVERY scene that had Matthew and James being wholesome parabatai in it!!! my favourite chapter in this book was Blue Ruin, the one after Grace takes the bracelet back from James  (aside from the whispering room ofc).
what scene (or scenes) made you cry the most?
ok ngl i didnt spend much of this book crying, but the only scene that actually made me tear up was when james was dying and matthew could feel it and jesse (WHO I FUCKING LOVED MORE THAN I THOUGHT I WOULD) gave him his last breath :(((((
what scenes were unsatisfactory?
there were not enough Christopher scenes (but to be fair, even if the entire book was just Christopher it still wouldnt be enough for me)
but fr, i cant think of any off the top of my head but i’ll edit this if i do later
what made you laugh the most?
matthew!! james!! thomas!! christopher!! also some of the things Jesse said
what bored you?
this wasn’t boring, but the whole charles/alastair plot line didn’t have me very invested. I did love the alastair/ cordelia scenes tho, so it was just charles that was the problem
also no offense to james bc he was my first actual fictional crush after reading TMH/NBS but like whenever he talked about being in grace i would literally zone out lol the bracelet curse makes him so boring but whenever he isnt in the curse/ is with someone who is NOT grace i just!! love him!!
what disappointed you?
cassie honestly had me kinda shipping matthew/cordelia for a solid FIVE SECONDS there when he stepped in to dance with her after james left her standing there, but that was one of the only scenes that made me feel like they had natural chemistry (along with the scene where he drops her off at her house). I felt like the during the rest of their interactions in the book, cordelia was kind of uncomfortable, which made me really sad because even tho she has every right to feel that way, i felt bad for matthew. I kind of want him to fall for someone else completely and for it to be reciprocated. also, i just really want for matthew and cordelia to become good friends because i feel like they could have such great natural chemistry if matthew didnt love her.
what is the top thing you wish had been done differently?
see above.
what things did you predict that came true?
JAMES BURNING DOWN BLACKTHORN MANOR I FUCKING SAID HE WOULD DO IT TWO FUCKING YEARS AGO IF YALL WANT ME TO LINK THE THEORY LMK
what are some things that were really unexpected?
ok there’s quite a few things here so bear w me babes:
- James genuinely loving cordelia from the start. I wasn’t expecting him to naturally feel nothing for grace at all, so i was expecting a slow burn jordelia, but finding out that he actually loves her makes me so happy but the end where cordelia thinks he was just pretending breaks my heart :(((
-matthew liking cordelia lol definitely was not expecting another parabatai love triangle but i hope it doesnt last. i do think it adds to the plot and i love it, it just hurts to see matthew so emo :(((
-I was expecting to like cordelia as a character, but i ended up LOVING her so fucking much???? she’s so three dimensional to me, and it’s interesting to see how her personality adapts around different characters as people adapt around different social circles irl
-liking jesse as much as i did
-ok so james’ entire character was a surprise to me. it’s so fascinating to see how the bracelet actually affected his personality.If you recall him in The Midnight Heir from TBC. he’s like an entirely different person. i still loved him in TMH but i went into CHOG thinking that if he was gonna be like that the entire time i’d probably get over him really quickly. i was pleasantly surprised by how much i ended up loving him even more tho
-i didn’t expect oliver hayward to die and im going to stay emo about it
- Christopher is so much more clear headed than he was made out to be prior?? like there were so many scenes where he was fully there and when he defended anna to alastair i just kfdsnfkld i love him
are there characters that you didn’t like before that you like now?
yikes umm... Alastair, maybe? he’s somewhat okay to me now, I dont dislike him as much as I used to. ooh and Hypatia Vex. the only scene i remember liking her in QOAAD was when she helped out kit, ty and dru (me, going a whole TSC post without somehow mentioning kit? not possible)
are there characters that you liked before that you don’t like now?
I started CHOG ready to give Grace the benefit of the doubt, and I was surprised by how timid and shy she seemed at the start, but it was interesting to see how it was all an act and how she doesn’t have an actual personality yet. one could argue that she actually does love james, but i doubt it at this point. i dont hate her yet, even tho she IS fucking up james’ life, but she’s on thin fucking ice.
who was your favorite new character?
does new character mean completely new or just never been in a novella new? because for the first, it would be Cordelia (i LOVE her sm!!) and other wise it would be james, matthew and co. also!!! jesse!!
what places in the book would you like to visit?
that hell dimension sounds pretty lit ngl
did you like the ending?
ok so. we KNOW that jordelia is gonna be endgame. cassandra clare always takes the hardest path to get there, but when has she not delivered? it’s just a matter of waiting. so, yes, i did like the ending in sense of the plot because it was a great twist, but i also feel really bad for all of them even tho ik they’re eventually gonna be together :(((
what did you think of the epilogue?
i wasnt surprised, since we alr know that Tatiana is shady asf, but i just really wanna know how she partnered up with a GREATER demon like lol wtf. again, im really happy in terms of plot with this
what are your thoughts on the engagement?
i feel so. fucking bad. for cordelia. and james too, even tho he’s under the bracelet’s curse so he doesnt even KNOW he’s being manipulated. but i love how even through the curse, james still loves cordelia in his own way.
what did you want to see that didn’t happen?
matthew getting therapy periodt
umm honestly i just want more “merry thieves” content like i just love. all of them.
what do you wish had been resolved that wasn’t?
i really want matthew to tell james or cordelia what happened because i just need him to be loved and supported lol i want to give him a hug. 
what is your favorite pairing as of now?
jordelia!!! and lucie and jesse are kind cute rn, and i like them if theyre gonna be pining after eachother but i feel like if they actually get together i wont like the relationship as much.
which characters would you like to see more of in the next book?
CHRISTOPHER CHRISTOPHER CHRISTOPHER 
ANNA!!! i lovED reading about her she’s so badass
matthew!! jesse!! also i wanna see more of those bitchy girls lol just so we can see anna or cordelia tell them to stfu
what is one character whose death you would undo if you could?
ok i know that jesse is still very much a conscious character despite being dead but like,,, i want him to be the way he was before and also i want him to come back to life
and barbara!! she seemed so sweet 
which characters got bad/unsatisfactory endings?
ummm barbara? i cant really say much on this yet bc its still only the first book and when has the first book ever ended up with anyone being happy.
oh but also can we sign a petition to make cassie let matthew actually survive the series because my heart aches just at the THOUGHT of eventually having to read a scene where he dies
which characters got what they deserved?
literally. none of them yet. :(
who should have died but didn’t?
Tatiana lol also lowkey charles but i also feel pity him to an extent 
what plotline are you most excited to see in the next book?
okay the entire jesse plot has me hooked because i LOVE his character. also i love the bracelet plot but its making me MAD because i just want james to be happy but
what is one scene that you wish hadn’t happened, but you know was unavoidable?
THE ONE WHERE GRACE PUTS THE BRACELET BACK ON JAMES. i mean obv there was no way he was completely done with grace, but i literally got so sad at that part like why HIM of all people smfh let him be happy
which pairing do you like the least?
alastair x charles, grace x james, lucie x matthew bc neither of them actually like either imo lol
what are some theories you have for chain of iron?
- not necessarily for COI but i think matthew is gonna get exiled and turned into made into a mundane
- the bracelet will break (?)
- jesse will come back to life (like actual life) at the end of the book
-grace is gonna do something to help the main characters, making it hard for us to hate her.
what characters do you think should have gotten more plot time?
lol are yall gonna hate me if i say christopher again (also anna)
anyways this was really fun!!!!! PLEASE ASK ME STUFF ABOUT MY OPINIONS AND STUFF OR JUST SAY ANYTHING ABT THE BOOK BC IM DESPERATE TO TALK TO PPL ABOUT IT
89 notes · View notes
cloudielyds · 4 years
Text
theo raeken x fem!reader
warnings : some language
key : y/n = your name (can also be nickname, whatever you prefer.) l/n = your last name
Tumblr media
y/n’a pov
as i sat down in class, i could feel someone’s presence next to me in the chair that used to empty. i looked over and to my surprise, it was theo raeken, the person scott had told me to stay away from since the first day he’d seen him back in beacon hills. “hey.” i heard theo say with his normal smirk planted on his face. “hi?”
“you’re staring.” he noted with a chuckle before turning his attention towards the teacher. i copied him and saw the teacher had written some things on the blackboard, some things i didn’t understand at all. i sighed before turning back to theo, i had to ask him why he had sat himself next to me. “theo.” i whispered quiet enough for only him to hear. he hummed. “why are you sitting next to me?” i asked.
“because, it was the only seat that were empty and i find you attractive.” he shrugged, not looking at me once. “wha-” i was about to say something but the teacher interrupted.
“ms. l/n, anything i can help you with?” he asked. all the eyes of my classmates were on me, with a panicking heart i shook my head as i held my head low. my heartbeat slows as i tale a deep breath, i hate this teacher. “you okay?” theo asked and looked over at me with a concerned look in his blue eyes. i nodded. “why do you ask?”
“your heartbeat, it was sky high.” he answered. “ohh...”
before i could say anything more the teacher spoke up once again, not to me this time luckily. “so, we’re going to work in pair.” he told us. “you and the person next to you are partners and you won’t have enough time in class so you must find time within the next week.” he explained firmly.
“of course.” i mumbled. i had to work with theo, hurray. the sarcasm in my thoughts made me happy theo couldnt read minds. “so.. mine at 5 pm?” theo suggested as the bell rang. “sure.” i gave him a quick smile before heading to next class. this time both scott and stiles was there so i wasnt stuck with someone i didnt want to.
“guys. you wont believe what just happened.” i exclaimed frustrated as i approached my two best friends. scott and stiles looked at me confused. “what happened?” stiles asked, leaning against the lockers. “i got paired with raeken himself and now i have to be at his place at 5 pm today.” i groaned loudly as i rolled my eyes by the thought of theo.
stiles snorted. “theo must be overly happy at the moment.” he laughed and scott joined. i stood there confused. “what do you mean?”
“theo’s head over heals for you, y/n. you should hear his heartbeat whenever he sees you, it’s hilarious.” scott told me as the two continued to laugh. i wasn’t laughing. “whats so funny about it?” i asked, feeling utterly confused about myself. why would theo even like me the slightest, he’s so good looking and.. hot, and i’m just an average girl, nothing special about it. “its funny because you would never like him back.” stiles said and scott agreed as the laughs died out.
“i mean..” i thought for a second if i should say anything about it. because theo was, as said, incredibly good looking and i wouldn’t mind dating him, but i knew he was bad. scott and stiles looked at me in horror. i oit my hands up in defense. “calm your titties. i was just going to say that he’s good looking, but i wouldnt date him.” i assured them with a matter of factly look. “but, you would let him fuck you.” stiles commented. “that was unnecessary.”
“anyways, we should head to class so we dont end up getting detention, again.” scott said and both stiles and i agreed.
-
as school ended i went to my locker and out all the books i didnt need in it and replaced them with the ones i needed in my backpack. “don’t forget, 5 pm.” i heard someone whisper in my ear, sending shivers down my spines. “theo.” i growled quietly as i saw him exit the school building.
i went home and did the other work before checking the time when it neared half past four. “great.” i mumbled before packing what i needed and headed out. since my dad had taken my car after i came home earlier i had to go, luckily it wasnt the longest way. i took a shortcut through the forest and arrived at theo’s house. i knocked on the door and waited.
“hm, 5 minutes early?” theo acted surprised as he opened the door. he lead me to his room and closed the door behind us. i sighed and dropped my bag on the floor. “do you want anything before we start?” theo asked softly. “no thanks.” i smiled at him. he seemed much nicer here when we were alone than when we were at school.
we worked for a while and it was actually nice. i really got to know theo how he really was, if he wasnt playing with me. by the end i had to ask. “is it true what scott and stiles says about you?” i asked, looking away but i could feel his eyes on me. “what do they say?”
“that you.. like me?”
he was quiet for a while. the silence in the room was hanging over me, it felt like it was suffocating me. “yes.” theo said suddenly, making me flinch as i wasnt prepared for another noise for at least another five minutes. “what?”
“you asked if it was true that i like you and... yes, it’s true.” he answered truthfully, i could tell. “oh...” i breathed out, feeling some color spreading across my face. “yeah.. but, y/n, look. i’ve changed, i promise. i haven’t done anything bad in a long time, i- i swear, you have to believe me.” he pleaded. i looked up and my eyes met his, i could see there were no lies lurking behind an act, he was telling the truth.
“i know.. theo. i just...” i paused. “i just don’t know what scott would say about it. he still don’t trust you, and neither do stiles, i... i really do believe you, but i dont think stiles and scott will.” i told him and look away, folding my hands in my lap. i could see in th corner of my eye that theo nodded understandingly. “you don’t have to like me back, y/n. i know you don’t. just, don’t believe everything scott and stiles says, please.”
“trust me, i know. and..” i thought for a second. “are you free on friday? or saturday morning?” i asked. he looked at me confused. “maybe you’d want to watch the sunrise with me?” i suggested shyly, biting my lip nervously. i didnt know where all this nervousness and shyness came from but it definitely wasnt good for me. “your heartbeat-” theo chuckled. “and yeah, sounds good.”
i smiled at him before checking the time. “shit, its so late.” i exclaimed before packing my stuff quickly. “see ya!” i said to theo, giving him a quick peck on his cheek before hurrying out. running all the way home.
(i haven’t proof read, im sorry.)
20 notes · View notes
soda-drabbles · 4 years
Text
New Years Kiss // Dan Avidan x Reader
Synopsis : There has been a bit of space between you and Dan since you realized you had feelings for him, that space being divided by you as you try to make the persistent feelings dissolve. The feelings only fester and worsen as the New Years party comes up. There, you and Dan come face to face after all that time. Could this party break the ice once and for all?
Pairing : Dan Avidan x Reader
Type : Fluff
If you had to be honest, you were dreading the upcoming New Years party. You wouldn't have went if it weren't for Suzy, who you just couldn't say no to. Plus, this was a office party so it would be weird if you didnt come. You instead kept trying to reassure yourself that maybe it wouldnt be that bad. That things would be fine. Yet the same thought kept ringing in your mind; Dan.
Dan was a close friend of yours and someone who you kept growing feelings for. The first initial reaction to realizing this was rejection. You hated having feelings like this, especially for someone so close to you. It made things worse since you two worked together. Recently, you kept the distance between you two in hopes that the new feelings would dissolve. There were times where you could see Dan's face appear glum and it honestly made your heart sink more into your stomach but it'd be okay, right? This was for the best for the two of you. Things would go back to normal soon.
Hopefully.
Hours before the party began, you volunteered in helping Suzy and Arin with decorations. The three of you decorated the office in streamers of gold and black, assuring that the place captivated the New Year's spirit. During this, Suzy sparked up some conversation.
“So, (Y/N).” She approached you, handing you some things to sit on the neat tables where the snacks would be. “Are you excited for the New Year? Got any resolutions?”
You simply shrugged, “I guess? Its like any other year, isnt it?”
Suzy shrugged and went to place something else up, “What about you and Dan? ”
You froze a little. “..What about Dan?”
Suzy could easily tell she struck a soft spot, which was why she spoke a little nervously. “Well, you two have been acting a little weird around each other. I didn't know if you planned to..yknow. Fix that situation?”
Your fingers tapped at the table a little. “I..I dont know.”
Arin's voice called from the living room, almost intentionally. “Suzy! Can you help me with the sticker things? They won't stick.” He must've felt the tension growing and decided to keep it from escalating.
Suzy, still a bit worried, hesitantly nodded and joined her husband in the man room which left you back to your mind which was fogged with Dan.
The party came faster than you initially hoped and before you knew it, you were in your car driving to the office. Your fingers tapped the wheel. The car was silent, except the riddling white noise of your anxiety tugging at you. What were you going to do about Dan? It was inevitable that hed be there and you two would be facing each other eventually.
Your heart raced in your ribcage as you pulled into the driveway, eyes stuck on the house and fingers stuck; not moving. Dan would either be behind that door or on the way. Either way, it made things worse.
Still, you unstuck your fingers and got out of the car.
Immediately, you were greeted by Ross and Suzy, who eagerly greeted you and let you in.
“Welcome, (Y/N)!” Ross exclaimed, placing a cheap New Years party hat on your head sloppily. You laughed, fixing it. “Thanks, man. ”
So far, it wasnt that bad as you thought. Your first destination was the snack table where the punch was. Your hand reached for the ladel and found yourself brushing against someone. “Shit, I'm so-” Your eyes widened when you peered up, face to face with the giant lanky man himself. Dan.
He appeared both relieved and a little shocked to see you, but happy nevertheless. “Oh, hey.” Dan's thin lips tugged into a soft smile. “Its..good to see you.”
Still shocked yourself, you gulped a little. “..Its..good to see you too.” Quickly, you filled up your plastic cup with fruit punch and took your leave.
The night went on with you mostly hanging with Ross and Barry as a way to distract yourself from the whole Dan situation. It was fun watching the goofy guys play with the helium in the ballooms but Dan kept invading your mind. You didn't know why either. Why did this have to be such a big deal? This feeling was unbearable.
The time would come when the countdown commenced. Everyone gathered together for the intense moment. You simply took your spot at a corner of the room, where you leaned against the decorated wall with the plastic cup pressed against your lips.
You weren't alone for long, as you saw a tall shadow approach you out of the corner of your eye. Your heartbeat started up again as you had a suspicion of who the identity of the shadow was. When it spoke is when your suspicions were confirmed.
“..Why have you been avoiding me?” Dan's soft voice came through the background chattering and music of the party.
Refusing to look at him, you shrugged. “I have no idea what youre talking about.”
Rightfully, he was frustrated. “Im not stupid, (Y/N). You've been avoiding me for the past month and you didn't even tell me what I done wrong.”
His last comment caused you to finally look at him, your own frustrated look clouding your features. “You didnt do anything wrong, Dan.”
“Then what is it?” He asked, obviously confused.
With a moment of hesitation, you whispered. “Its me.”
“..What?”
“Its me!” You spoke a little louder, using your arm to cover your face. “Fuck, I'm stupid..”
Dan frowned and removed his free hand from his pocket to place it on your shoulder. “What's wrong? What are you talking about?”
While you kept silent, the countdown from five began.
Five.
“..Its.” How could you possibly say something like this? Do it and risk everything? He'd avoid you for sure wouldn't he? Your negative thoughts fought you from telling him. “You wouldn't like it.”
Four.
“Come on,” Dan said, moving in front of you. His voice was closer now. “I still want to know, regardless.”
Three.
You could feel his towering presence in front of you. Your cheeks were red and you were thankful colorful lights danced around the party, otherwise what you wanted to say would be obvious. The feeling was building up again.
Two.
Dan grew a little desperate. “Please.” In a moment like this, it was getting harder and harder to dismiss him anymore. Your heart longed to jump out and let your feelings speak themselves. Eventually, you gave in.
“Dan, I..” Taking another deep inhale, you bury your face in his chest and the muffled confession came out. “I love you.”
Words that would leave Dan speechless.
One.
Among the cheering and kissing couples, you felt like crying. Dan wasn't doing anything and it only made you worry. After a moment, you pulled away a little with the intent to run off, only for the tall man to brig his arms around you.
“Dont go.” His arms held you back against his chest, fingers pressed against your back. His sudden grip surprised you. What surprised you even more is when the warm touch of his hands moved from your hand to each sides of your face, which he gently cradled and raised to face you.
Against the dancing lights, your blush and wide eyes spoke out to him and made him smile. The smile that only made you grow redder each time. “Why didnt you just say so?” His soft voice expressed in a sweet whisper before pulling you into an embrace.
You imagined plenty of times what kissing Danny would feel like. It was so much softer and warmer than you once imagined. Once you both pulled away, Dan hugged you once again and this time, you hugged back.
Suzy, unbeknownst to the both of you, was watching with a satisfied smile. She leaned against her husbands side and turned back to the TV.
Happy New Years.
46 notes · View notes
voidselfshipp · 4 years
Text
Depth Strider
Summary: the team fortress mercs gain the attention of an unlikely diety
Pt2:
Tumblr media
Chapter 1:
Depht strider
/~~~~~~\
Was she really going to do it?
She sits there on her motorcycle, as the sun sets, looking at the water that rocked softly against the cliff.
Was she really going to intervene?
She tugs at the hem of the fluffy jackets neck, she was running out of time to make a decision.
Of course she was going to.
She takes off the jacket and stretches taking a run to the water, diving head first with her clothes all draped in water.
The bubbles from her breath Rise up to the waters surface.
The tides come to life as a roar expands in the water like a soundwave.
Her pupils contracts, Forming a reptile like appereance with her emerald eyes, shining softly unbothered by the water.
Her soft thin hands are now deep dark red coloured scaly claws.
Her legs seem of an animal as she strides through the water feeling her wings impulsing her through the dephts of australians ocean.
Oh no, the submarine is already there.
She headbutts it making a dent in the carcass.
Her nose,that became smaller,Like a snout, sniffs something.
Blood.
--Oh fuck!--her voice is distorted, thanks to the water.
She swims under the submarine trying to find a way to claw her way in.
Its a miracle that she hasnt been detected yet.
Her claws dig into the metal exterior holding for dear life as the big submarine impulses through the Ocean.
She can barely hear whats going on.
She needs to find a way in.
Jerico sighs ,when was the last time she attempted this?.
A small jellyfish seems to casually swim towards her, and sticks close to her.
And then the submarine trembles as a huge wave cracked, then the weather Turned badly.
A storm fell on the sea without mercy.
A friendly orca casually helps jerico to jump to an Open hatch.
And as soon as she gets in a mist of evaporated water envolves the room shes in, drying her.
The place is still rocky, her aunt and sister knew how to put up a show.
Everybody in there was freaking out,a perfect moment for her to sneak in the ventilation system.
She needs to Freed them first.
/~~~~~~~\
Hot summer wind hit teufort hard.
That same day,the team of mercenaries disbanded, as their employers died misteriously.
They all went their separate ways, apparently.
Before that however everyone decided to have one last beer togheter
Yes, even spy.
They were being loud, acting as if they all cared for eachother,they did, just they didnt show it to the others.
There,in the corner of a bar, a woman,Drank from her beer while looking at the men in the bar, one of them failed once again to flirt with the female barista.
Jerico felt bad for that guy.
So, she stood up, and Walked over the barista.
Okay jerico, you dads dorky charm needs to work on this Lady.
She cracks her knuckles,leaning over the bar.
The same female barista approaches her.
Jerico returns the smile--Hey,I was just sitting over there--she points with her gaze back at the corner she was sitting-- and couldnt help but just, look at you, I really like how you styled your hair today!
The baristas cheeks turn bright Pink,sttutering over her words-- o oh th thank you!you you also look very cute today!
Jeri giggles, well, im sure youve got more work to do, but how about you give this guy a chance,or if you dont want to, maybe give a chance to me ~
And what do you know?, the barista took some minutes off to talk to the guy sitting with the other men.
--Not only that girl Is a miracle worker but a saint-- a french Man said.
The guy looks at him, and scowls--Go to hell spy...
Jer looks at the men interact from afar,toying with the piece of paper the barista gave her with her number on it.
The old von terra charm never gets old!.
Its now around five pm, and she hears curses from outside the bar as she exists
That same Group of men seem to have some troubles with their car.
--Need help folks?--She asks, hands holding her motorcycle helmet.
--Im sorry --That same guy she acted as a wingman back at the bar said-- I dont see how a Lady like you can know about cars.
'Spy' slaps his arm--scout,thats no way to talk to a Lady
'Lady my ass' she thinks.
--But we'd appreciate the help--the french Man says.
Jerico smiles,that radiant smile of hers is enough to make some of them flustered--Great lemme see--She shoves her helmet to Scouts hands--hold this for me sweet-talker.
She goes under the car, and makes a tiny exclamation sound, then they hear a tiny clicking sound.
--Okay try it now
Spy gears up the car,it sounds as beautiful as it did before
--Mon dieu-- he says under his breath
By that time jer was already standing besides him--Merci mon chéri --the Man kisses the back of her hand while holding it.
Yet he sees nothing but a sweet kind smile, and somehow no blush.
--No need to thank me
She then moves on to the other Mans van.
--mundy is a bit stingy with his van, treat her like a baby -- a Man with a Texas accent said as he opened the vans hood.
--I Will, my dad was a mechanic, so I know what cars can mean to people, altough im alright if he wants to guide me through it, I mean it seems like its very personal so,I dont want to screw thing up
Jerico was indeed a miracle worker because for once Mundy, aka,sniper talked to another human being without sounding awkward
Scout just mouthes 'what the fuck' as the rest of the mercenaries watch their awkward teammate becoming a chatterbox with the misterious Lady helping them.
After ten minutes its all done, and they are good to go
--oi, thanks Sheila--mundy says, scratching the back of his neck.
--Dont mention it--jeri smiles.
--i dont want to sound weird but,whats your name?
--Jerico, jerico von terra
--Thanks jerico--the Man blushes, thank the god that his texan friend decided to help him.
--Come on we gon be late!
--Im coming Dell im coming!
And so the aussie Man, walks to the van and they drive off.
Jer puts on her helmet and drives just behind them,without them noticing.
They peeked her interest.
And what a rowdy bunch they were.
And so for the past months she has been following the other in each corner they went.
Scout,never shuts up.
Spy is a bit too classy.
The texan Man, Dell is very Smart and sweet.
Sniper, seemed awkward, and he was, but while he was on a supply shopping spree she saw the tiniest hint of his good heart.
But then there was this other Man, a cheeky German doctor, who liked to play god.
She remembers when was the first time they actually spoke.
He was still in América, going to a café by himself one day.
She decided to follow him, asking herself if he found it,would he find her creepy?
But as she was, the goddess of willpower, had low tolerance for people who berrated someone or made fun of other people.
She didnt like bullies at all.
The german Man had odd manners and behaviour , jerico wasnt weirded out, after what her family has got going on nothing surprises her.
That day at the café however , her temperamento got the best of her.
A Man taller than the german doctor,who his teammates reffered to him as 'Medic' , pushed Him--You should look where youre stepping, freak
Medic could fend off for himself, but jerico was faster than him.
--How about you say sorry for bumping into him?
Jeri came behind medic with her arms crossed.
--What is he?your boyfriend?--the Bully asked
She chuckles and looks at the german Man with a Sly smile--Hes very handsome, he could be my boyfriend, but you,poor you Will die alone with that assholness of yours
The Man didnt seem to take that too Kindly,he tried to slap her but her hand catched her wrist.
--i May be using a skirt but trust me boy I can kick your ass in more ways than you can imagine,lets make this easy shall we?
Yet the Man didnt want to make nice, he tried to hit her, to break free.
--Ill take that as a no
Medic was too amused so he sat back with a huge grin on his face.
And low and behold jerico did kick the bullies ass.
She twisted his wrist,the german doctor swore he could hear cracking as she did so, quickly positioning behind the Man and hitting behind his knees making him fall, jer still had a strong grip around his wrist,her foot stomped on his back , keeping him down.
--Leave.
Her voice is strong and firm,she lets go and the Man runs away, tripping in the main road.
Medic laughs trying to seem somewhat sane.
--May I repay you zhe favour my dear?
And so they stayed over, sitting in a quiet corner and chatting.
He was very charming,And actually got some giggles out of her.
But of course not everything can be fun and happy.
5 notes · View notes
mmmhowaboutno · 4 years
Text
ive barely talked about this to anyone, i thought i got over it but you dont just get over stuff like this. i just wanna write it somewhere. a few days ago was august 3rd. three years ago on that day i was drugged and sexually assaulted in my own home by someone who i thought was my friend. i was friends with him for five years prior, so it came as a shock to me when this happened, not just because of what happened but because i realized trusting people is something i may do too easily. 
my parents went away for the weekend with my brother, and my “friend” was in town, so i thought i would invite him over so we could drink and play video games. we had been planning to hang out for a while and i thought it was just a chill thing to do with someone youve been friends with for so long. i still think that. i had two shots of vodka and after that started to feel more drunk than normal. i remember him constantly stuffing his water bottle in my face telling me to drink. at first he casually asked if i just wanted some water, so i didnt think anything of it. when things started getting fuzzy he would say “drink this, its just water, youre so drunk youll feel better.” he never drank from it though. guess where the drugs were. 
i remember bits and pieces of what happened and the stuff he did to me. i remember “across the universe” was playing in the background as i drifted in and out of consciousness. i wanted to watch that movie since high school and always put it off, but now ill never be able to watch it. i remember that while i was on the floor and couldnt move or speak he would make me drink water and tell me that i would feel better soon, all while he was rubbing my thighs or reaching up my shorts. i remember being unconscious for a long time, and when i woke up, he was in the bathroom. i could barely hold up my phone, but i called my boyfriend first. it was 4am for him and his phone was on silent, but he said that he woke up right as i was calling for some reason, like he felt something bad was happening. i couldnt talk. its like i was in one of those dreams where you try to run away but cant, except i couldnt get words out of my mouth at all. all i managed to say was “drugged me.” my boyfriend told me to call the police, so i did. 
when he came out of the bathroom, he acted like everything was normal. i can still see and hear him standing over me and asking “you okay?” while i was drooling on the floor and couldnt lift my head from the drugs that he gave me. i cant remember what happened until the police came. i only remember the knocking at the door and them telling me to open it. the knocking was so fucking loud. he kept looking at me and asking why i called the police, to which i couldnt answer anything. he started panicking and went in and out of the rooms upstairs in my house. he didnt answer the door, and they kept knocking. i somehow managed to get up, tripped and crawled down half of the stairs, and opened the door for them. i remember my dog barking and an officer placing me on a stretcher and so many questions being tossed around. they asked me how old i was and had me call my boyfriend so they could talk to him. they asked my “friend” if he knew that i had a boyfriend, like that would make a difference in him wanting to drug me or being responsible for it. 
he told the officers that i had had a lot to drink before he got to my house, that i was already drunk off my ass before he got there. they let him go. i told them where the drugs were. i pointed at the water bottle that was in his hand and i told them that the drugs were there, in whatever broken words i could get out, and they let him leave. they didnt test the water bottle for anything or look around my house or ask me if i was okay. they didnt ask what he did to me or even ask if he did anything, they just let him leave and took me to the hospital. they didnt even question the fact that he was buying a minor alcohol, they just let him fucking leave. 
when i was at the hospital, they tested me for my alcohol levels, which they said were normal. so there was physical evidence that i was not, in fact, drunk, like he said. when i started to come to after waiting at the hospital for hours, i told the doctors where the drugs were. i told them to test the water bottle, i begged and pleaded for them to get in touch with police and tell them that i didnt have any alcohol in my system, that it was drugs that he had given me. there was fucking proof, but they didnt do anything.
they asked me if i wanted to call my mom, and i almost did, but then i remembered that it was her birthday. so, i spent those three hours alone in the room thinking about all the reasons i was a fuck up and how this was all my fault. no one seemed to believe me, so maybe i did make it all up and i was actually drunk. but no, there wasnt any alcohol in my system. i only had two shots. after a while, the doctors told me i could go home. i was confused because i didnt have a way to get home, so they told me get an uber or something. they didnt really care at this point. i called an uber, and went outside to meet the car. once my feet hit the ground outside i realized that i didnt have any shoes on. i dont know why but i thought it was strange. i kinda hyper-focused on that as i waited for the uber. everything around me was so loud. all of a sudden, a young-ish nurse came outside and stood next to me. he said he would wait with me. i saw him pass my room a couple times while i cried silently for those few hours i was in the hospital. he stood outside with me and walked me to my uber, asked the uber driver for his name and number, and told me i would be okay. i remember what he looked like and ill genuinely never forget him. he made me feel safe just by doing that little thing, i knew i could trust him when i didnt even trust myself in that moment. 
the car ride home felt like it took forever. i was scared of the uber driver and the road and the fact that it was dark outside and most of all of what my mom would think and say when i finally told her what happened. i got home and walked up to my house to see that the main lights were on. my dog was waiting for me on the stairs and ran up to me as i walked inside. he kept licking me and didnt leave my side, but after a while of my dog being attentive and moving around, i realized how quiet it was inside my house. his car wasnt outside anymore, so i knew he had left, but this sudden wave of inexplicable fear washed over me. i started very anxiously searching every room, looking behind doors and in cabinets for some stupid fucking reason. i looked under every bed and turned on every light in my house. i dont know why but i thought he would still be there, waiting for me. i was looking for any trace of him still being in the house and waiting to do it to me all over again. i went upstairs and looked in my brothers closet only to find the vodka that my “friend” had brought for us to drink hidden in a corner. in the room next to mine was the bag with the receipt for the vodka that he bought. in the room where it all happened was the pizza we had gotten to eat and the cushions that he put under my head when i kept flopping over and drooling. that room was like a war zone to me. i couldnt look at it or be in it, i couldnt for almost a year. there were remnants of what happened all over my house and i felt like i couldnt escape it. it happened in the place where i was supposed to feel the most safe, and now i felt trapped in it.
i went into my room and got into bed with my dog. it was 4am, i couldnt sleep, and i didnt know what to do. every noise made me jump. every noise outside made me peek through the blinds to make sure that it wasnt his car pulling back up to my house. i found myself more awake than exhausted, as i should have been. im sure he slept fine that night. im sure he was okay and that he went home knowing that i was in the hospital and my mind was going 1000 miles an hour trying to remember every little detail of what happened so i could convince the cops that he had drugged me. because evidence wasnt enough. words werent enough for them to even try to dig into the fact that maybe i was possibly telling the truth. the cops didnt care, the doctors didnt care. they let him go. 
i dont know why i decided to write about this now, because for the most part, im “over it.” i do still think about what happened occasionally. it keeps me up at night sometimes, but not as much as in the first year after it happened. what i think about the most is the fact that no one believed me. i wasnt drugged and sexually assaulted and then reported it a few days later. the cops came and picked me up in the house where it all happened. they stood next to the person that did it. they looked him in the eye and they looked at the water bottle with drugs in it and at me barely conscious and unable to speak. they let him go. so unfortunately it doesnt surprise me when no one fucking cares if someone remembers and speaks out about their trauma years later because thats the moment they feel comfortable enough to finally talk about it. if cops didnt care in the very moment it was happening to me, it doesnt surprise me that they dont care at all. ever. 
he never tried to text or reach out to me again. why would he? i blocked him the next day anyway and i havent heard anything since. ive been silently dealing with it by myself for years. i went to a therapist about it. she told me that it was my fault for inviting him over in the first place. thats what my parents told me too. 
and the thing is, im not even the “worst” of it at all. this happens all the fucking time. theres very substantial evidence and cops and doctors will stare at it and think about how much work itll be going through the motions to do their fucking jobs and protect the people being assaulted. its too much work for them, but not for the person having trouble falling asleep every night for years because all they can think about is the moment they were unable to protect themselves and were taken advantage of. i always compare what happened to me to what happened to other people. i think less of it because so much worse has happened to other people. i wasnt raped, people are every day but i wasnt. it could have been worse, and ive always pushed the whole thing out of my mind because of that, but i dont think i should. i dont think it wasnt a big deal, and i dont think it will ever be not a big deal. i think that this shit happened to me and happens to people every day and no one fucking cares because its too much work for them to care. this isnt a metoo post, i just needed to put it into writing somewhere because im tired of keeping it inside. i dont want pity, i never have, i think a lot of people think that when something like this happens and someone speaks out about it that thats what they want. i just wanna say it. sometimes its just fucking good to say it. so for the people who do think that i want pity or that dont believe me or that support cops or that dont think this was a big deal: fuck you and have a horrible day.
thats it sorry
3 notes · View notes