#I DIDNT WANT TO START SMTH NEW

[puppyeared]

for like 3 weeks i was wondering why i was sleeping so much and felt listless. and just now I managed to email 3 people and responded to a month old message in the span of an hour because I got back to TAKING MY FUCKIN MEDS..........

#MOTHER FFFFUCKER #to be fair. my doc said I could stop taking them while im on break since i wouldnt need to be constantly pumped on stimulants #im not sure if it was a side effect but i managed to take like 3 different naps in one day and STILL managed to sleep thru the whole night #at least 2 days into my break. the weird thing is i didnt feel more or less rested afterwards. but mentally i think im in a good place rn #to really put the level of awakeness im at rn i feel weirdly confident i could start one piece. also bc of that sick new opening it BANGS #the song is really good and im in love with the animation style. did some digging and it seems one of the lead animators is masato mori #but i could be wrong. it seems he also did some work on mp100 which could explain a lot lol.. he uses smear frames really well to convey #consistent movement and fluidity!!! someone else might have done color design but it works really really well esp with odas style!! #just love the overall vibe and aesthetic and id really love to study it and incorporate a bit of it into my art.. especially the thick #outlines which i think helps to separate characters and objects on screen. though i have to say the style is definitely more suited to #animation bc of the simpleness and smears. maybe that will help me explore shapes and perspective when i draw... i wanna get better #at drawing poses and angles but i have a hard time wrapping my head around space and using perspective guide lines NGHHHH #i wonder if it has to do with my dogshit ability to judge distance. not depth perception but like. judge how far smth is in metres etc #im also wearing an N95 for the first couple weeks back bc of the wave. absolutely NO BODY is wearing a mask its so fucking over #where im sitting ive heard 5 different people coughing probably not into their elbows!!! and im just. head in my fucking hands #there was a kid sitting a couple seats away in class coughing as he pleases and i wanted to grab him in a chokehold so badly. PLEASEE #ive been annoying my family by asking them to mask up and reminding them to bring masks when they go out and showing them news articles #but at least its working bc we ordered some KN95s and my mom is at least taking me seriously so. please dont be afraid to speak up abt your #health. take care of yourself and others however u can!! wear that mask indoors at your maskless friends house!!! stay home when u can!! #im wearing a surgical mask at home too bc my parents have '''a dry throat cough''' and they are so bad at coughing into their sleeves #also im pretty sure dry throat isnt transmissible bc my brother started coughing too so.. i also tested negative but they havent tested yet #im also not a doctor but i have to keep reminding ppl whenever i can that covid and flu work differently. covid is new and too recent to #have nearly as much research done on it. it seems its also compounding so instead of building immunity it weakens the body and spreads to #to other systems which might explain brain fog and muscle weakness. i remember someone early in the pandemic got infected and it messed up #their smell/taste receptors so bad that they cant eat most foods and that stays in the front of my mind when i think abt covid. christ #yapping

[definitelynotshouting]

Do you have any tips for starting a story? The middle and end is easy (lie) but the beginning SUCKS to write sometimes

oh gods no joke openers are one of the hardest part for me. Theres so many ways a story can start, and it makes me CRAZY because that right there is your hook, thats what convinces people to start reading!!!!! And there are so many unique ways one can start, so it ends up feeling a bit like that one reaction image of the girl being handed so so many pancakes

I think for me, what i try to ask myself when sitting down to write an opener is: "what kind of story is this?"

Because each story needs something different to accomplish its goals. A slower story might want to take its time with setting the scene, while an action-packed one might start in media res and with a bang!!! I guess if i had to give advice i would say, take the time to identify what your story is trying to say, and then look at what different openings can do for you to identify that goal.

For example; this is from my fic when the night cries, which is essentially a ghost story:

This was meant to be an introspective story, with a very gentle pace overall, so i took the time to really set the scene, build up the sense of what we're looking at before we get dropped into the fic proper. I remember my thought process for this was: how can i make this unique??? how can i make it FEEL like one of those old paintings with the beautiful yellows and summery oranges, while giving the reader a sense of whats to come?? Adding in the repetition of "it begins" was a way for me to sorta hammer that home: this is the start. This is where the story originates. And in a technical sense, it hooks your attention, with the question and immediate answer within the narration. The intention here is for the reader to want to know why this is important, and now it's answering that, but still leaving gaps for more questions.

Now compare that to, say.... lost in the dark's opening:

The overall pace of hunger au is slow, but this opener isn't-- partially because it's a rough draft, but also because what i wanted out of this scene was a sense of deep, deep urgency. We're in the middle of action; Grian is physically running while he thinks, and i wanted the reader to feel hunted and uncertain with him. Dropping everyone in with Grian at one of his most frightened, shaken points was the best way i felt i could establish that scene, and throughout it i drop hints as to what's actually going on. He's scared. He thinks he's going to hurt people. He's been on the move for a very, very long time. These are all things that are meant to pique interest and get answered later, when the reader is already invested. And i guess in that regard, its really all about timing.

But yeah!! Rambling aside, i'd say try out a few different ways of opening your fic and see what works. Think of em as thumbnails; write maybe 200 or so words at most and see if something works better than something else. I think theres this secret culture of shame among writers for not putting the perfect start down on the page the very first time you open the doc, but it's super normal to have to workshop things around to your liking!!! There's absolutely nothing wrong with writing a few different openers to see what works best for you and your story, and in fact is something i genuinely recommend. Its good practice, and essentially functions as a warm-up!!! You also get the benefit of exploring new angles in a scene, which can sometimes unlock really cool stuff for your writing

Sorry for how long this is, anon!! Hopefully you find my rambling helpful :D thank you for sending in this ask!!!

#shouting speaks #asks #i could go on abt stuff like this for HOURS i go crazy for this sorta thing #also part of the reason chap 6 is taking so long is because i needed to redo the opening scene multiple times #before i realized i actually needed to shuffle the scenes around so they kept interest and good pacing!!! #basically: dont be afraid to just sit down and try looking at things from new angles #also smth i didnt mention bc its very specific to me: i picture things like theyre movies #so i often sorta reflect that pacing in my writing. i have a very vivid imagination so i can see actions and settings VERY clearly #and often what i do is i sorta look at the big picture #and decide okay do i want to start here??? and if i do i slowly zoom in via details until we cut to the actual start #OR. i immediately zoom in so we're seeing the character or setting element right away #so yeah. movie magic ig skfnejdjdjdk #hope this helps!!!! #edit: forgor long post tag #long post #txt

[ark1os]

.

#i felt so good after talking to my therapist about the issue w my dad #and i didnt even come to any new conclusions or anything i just told her whats been on my mind what im struggling with and why im so afraid #to confront him and she validated me #which honestly was so new to me? like everytime italked about it it felt like people didnt see the seriousness and why im struggling so muc #with it #like Why are you so afraid of your dad. Why do you have such a hard time. Just do it . Just deal with it. girl i would if it was so easy #but she didnt react like this at all & she didnt ask anything that implied she might be thinking this way too. im v blessed alhamdulillah #she suggested to tell him that i want to wear the hijab through the phone for my own safety (which isnt an option personally but i #really appreciated the thought behind it) #and she also told me that i shouldnt do it if i dont feel ready yet to face him and its like. the first time ever someone told me this lol #she said i shouldnt put more weight on my shoulders because the situation will be a lot worse if i m not prepared #i do feel ready now though ive been dealing with this for months im just so so so scared. im so scared iwant to cry all the time #anyway. ive been sleeping much worse than usually and im waking up completely covered in sweat which is #so disgusting. i was worried that im sick or smth (cancer lol) but realised it started w ramadan!!! which is when i made up my mind when #i will talk to him #may Allah help me may Allah protect me #im about to cry again aaa

[seariii]

(hands you a bundle: it is a handful of singular flowers tied together with a string of glossy white ribbon, in a simple bow. it consists of yellow honeysuckle, purple hibiscus, yellow rose, and white hydrangea)

(⁠´⁠；⁠ω⁠；⁠｀⁠) so pretty thank you-

AND OF COURSE SINCE ITS YOU I KNOW THESE HAVE MEANINGS SO OF COURSE I WENT AND LOOKED AT THEM-

I'm so soft right now (⁠´⁠；⁠ω⁠；⁠｀⁠)

... the honeysuckle has a funny name, but it's a flower I'm not much familiar with, I've seen it in pictures tho, but the other 3 I know them. The hibiscus I've always thought it was such a pretty one, I've always loved it's texture and it brings memories of people I love and a couple things that have happened. The hydrangea when I first learnt about them I thought were so pretty, they just carry such a pretty vibe and the way how they basically can be revitalized with water it's something so pretty... The yellow rose was one I did know the meaning of, having played Ib and be obsessed with that game heh but... It made me really soft...

From the heart I thank you... It's really sweet of you and... You know when you notice that people actually enjoy having you around? And actually think of you in a good light? It was one of those moments of realization heh

I love you a lot, verdaderamente eres un amor and you deserve only the best to happen to you... So kind and warm... When I talk with you, or just general interactions, you only transmit good vibes... Like.... You are someone that just by existing and talking to others, you recharge other people's energies, if that makes sense? Heh I hope you also take good care of yourself, thank you... And... Thank you for giving me your friendship, I may not talk about it much, but, friendship is something extremely important to me, it's such a soft concept that I hold really close to my heart and... Just thank you ... I love you a lot and I send you MANY MANY HUGS

#verdaderamente eres un amor = you truly are 'a love' would be the direct translation but it would mean 'so sweet' or 'so lovely' or smth #im too soft for this (⁠´⁠；⁠ω⁠；⁠｀⁠) #also fun fact hibiscus look bitable... like its one of the flowers that my brain sees and wants to eat- I WONT but ye its funny #seari answers #kinda wanna... what was my tag.... or maybe i just start a new one... yeah a new one it is #seari's cute stuff #< new tag just dropped #(ALSO TOTALLY DIDNT TEAR UP A BIT THERE OF COURSE NOT PFFT OF COURSE I DIDNT) #beautiful trinkets brought to me

[semercury]

I wish I was better at gift giving. I feel like I have to be under someone's skin and living in their ribcage to know what they actually want. And even then, I feel like it's never enough.

#stuff sarah says #i think my expectations might be too high too #and i wish i could give people the world. but alas. i work at a grocery store #i also love giving practical gifts. i want them to be used or enjoyed #but i think people are always okay with them. i think im just insecure #its also hard bc me and my friends are all struggling 20-somethings and early 30-somethings #and unfortunately serotonin or a stable housing market dont comply with usps shipping qualifications... #i also think its bc i think im a hard person to give gifts too #if you ask me what i want it usually is smth like 'a bullet to the head' or 'a new brain' #and again. hard to wrap those #but im also easy to gift give bc i love the thoughts behind the gifts more than the gift itself usually #thats what makes me feel the warm fuzzies #you could get me a rock and a handwritten note about why you love me and id start sobbing #you give me a car and ill feel guilt for twenty years. like. #its the thoughts i like. not the thing itself. the homemade birthday cards from my little cousins were always my fave gift from them #i was so sad i didnt get any this year actually.

[broke-on-books]

DAMN WHAT THE HELL BARIQHRIQRHAUSHASHW !?!?!?!!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!

#oh my god. anyways fun thing about college there are so many new ways that it can compliment you????? #anyways got the grade for my english paper back which like 💪💪💪💪 yeah i got the A. 😎😎😎 honestly i didnt i would have been pissed bc #that shit WAS brilliant actually but THEN my professor was like in the comments hey if you wanted you could edit this and submit it to this #fuckin. peer reviewed journal and shit like i thought it was really good“ like SIR?!?!?!?!?!? SIR!?!?!?!?!?! #its an undergrad one obviously but this is insane to me wth #he said submission closes next week but the site says thats when its opening so ill probably wait and #decide over break after talking to my parents #but thats absolutely wild #also the complements thing is crazy #like in hs its me: does smth smart someone: oh thats so smart #but then in COLLEGE i do smth smart and people start asking me to TA and submit to academic publications ahfiahdhahs #wild. anyways i need to turn in this other paper now which is what i was SUPPOSED TO BE DOING before i checked my email. anyways thats wild #i may honestly submit if i can becaused seeing if i could get published would be SICK #and would look fucking awesome on my resume. also bragging rights and the ego boost bc lets be real #esp at 18 thats wild teehee. anyways need to do real work not theoretical work atm so yeah ✌️ bye #blah

[nopeferatu]

i wish brokeback mountain fics entertained the idea that jack knocked lureen up and thats why they got married more often

cause in the short story jack mentions the fact that he'd never wanted kids or anything like that, so i think its highly plausible that bad luck jack, whos life never seems to go the way he wants it to, would fool around with some rodeo queen one night and he winds up getting her pregnant. and what else can he do but marry her? he's been taught to do the respectable thing, and her daddy would probably find and gut him if he sullied his little girl's reputation and left her to deal w it on her own anyways.

but i just think it would add an extra layer of sadness to it all...the idea that jack, whos pretty much only interested in men, probably only messed around with lureen because he was pent up and lonely and sexually frustrated, and heres this beautiful, rich rodeo cowgirl whos giving this poor ranch boy the eyes and making him feel wanted for once in his sorry godamn life. making him feel like someone sees something worthwhile about him. he doesn't prefer a woman, but he's desperate, and she chose him. she could've had her pick of the bar because shes a big deal and any man would've been lucky to have her, but she chose him.

and now this thing—that was supposed to just be a quick fuck in the backseat of her car to help quell the need for human contact until the next motel cowboy came along—is going to define his entire life.

hes going to do right by her and get married. shes going to have his kid. hes going to be a dad.

his whole life has been laid out before him and the one time he said fuck it and had sex with a woman is all it took for everything to be set in stone. its just so. fucking. sad.

#i think jack is such a sad character #a lot of fics lean into this idea of his endless optimism driving him to think that things could really go his way if he tried hard enough #despite getting the short end of the stick time and time again and its just like. ughhhh its just so heart breaking #i forget where i read this descriptiom at but it said #smth like his perserverence is what keeps getting him back on the bull every time he hits the ground because he knows what he wants and he #believes that if he just keeps trying he can wrangle life and make it bend to his will #and its just like :( like life just delt that boy such an unfair hand and he still didnt bend to it. he still felt like things could still #go his way till the very end. i feel like his hope may have wavered for awhile there after he mistook ennis' divorce for the sign that they #were finally gonna start a life together #but finally after his final meeting w ennis he just realized he was holding onto a lost cause and finally said fuck it. im gonna take life #into my own hands and im gonna try and get his new guy to come up with me and maybe it wont be the guy that i really want but maybe #i can grow to love him and finally stop living this half life. and just as hes about to try and make that happen he dies #guhhhhhhh #still brokeback posting #brokeback mountain

[toastsnaffler]

i keep getting irrationally miffed at ppl 😐😐

#'impressed by how much u can talk abt this considering youve not played either game' #fuck off. as if im not just trying to show interest bc u + another friend are both into them + constantly talk abt them in our gc!! #i mean since u guys talk abt them all the time + theyre huge on tumblr like. it would be hard for me to not know anything abt them at all #literally what else can i talk to u guys abt anyway. i dont think there are any interests i personally have that they both gaf abt #if anything they actively dislike most of the things im hyperfixated on. or at least she does so like i cant bring that up can i. #all i did was share a post i saw on tumblr that i thought was funny. its not like i had some negative/controversial opinion #i just saw it and thought hey that makes me think of my friends bc they like those things maybe theyll find it funny too!! #dog sitting outside the door with rly big sad eyes offering them a stick i found in a puddle #i like listening to them talk and i will eventually play some of the games theyre into myself cuz they make them sound rly cool #and even if theyre not my kind of thing i like sharing interests with other ppl and sometimes thats enough for me to be able to enjoy it #i literally own some of them already but im just not in the mental space to start smth new right now. which i have SAID!!!! #why do u even care girl. as if u dont already have a ton of friends playing it that ur talking to abt it???? i wont have anything to add #and thats not gonna stop u from being able to talk to me abt it anyway????? like 2/3 of our conversations atm are abt bg3 #man. i know its not that deep but it makes me kinda sad for some reason. im just trying. i guess next time ill just let u guys talk- #to each other or at me and not comment or say anything so u can pretend im not here or whatever it is u want #ughh. she probably didnt even mean it like that and ill feel stupid for getting annoyed and delete this later but whatever. #might work out early today and then i can like draw or play a game or smth the rest of the day. alright lets go #.vent #listening to my silly little jfunk/jazz/soul playlist and i already feel over it. healing

[13thsinnr]

kitten ill be honest daddy has no motivation to do anything anymore

#thats nothing new i guess #im feeling really creatively unmotivated as usual but like .... im starting to just feel like fuckin.. its not worth trying #feels like all the skills ive tried building mean nothing at this point #and it feels like i didnt really get anywhere . and that its all going away now that i havent been drawing and writing as often #i dont want to put this on twitter cause i have a lot of people there i dont wanna bring down #and ...... like #i guess im scared of being friends w a lot of people who feel more artistically accomplished than me #ive always been just kinda 'ok' at everything and ive never had one standout skill that ive been good at #its always been smth ive struggled with but lately its been getting to me #i dunno. #i feel like theres always so much going on. and i just never want to do anything anymore. #vent

[bixiaoshi]

#im sorry im getting feelings again #i was going to say i dont like being in tune w my feelings but. am i rlly LMAO #im not. im not rlly i dont recognize them i cant rlly name them outside of the main 3 #all i know is that wanting smth usually leads to sadness bcs. when will it be my turn. will i EVER get my turn #and rn i want smth so bad which ik will turn into smth bad. sigh #and wanting smth im not sure i will ever get leads me to feeling im wasting my time bcs the things i can do now r very limited and outside #of that i cant rlly do shit. like. i rlly cant and it takes me to self-doubt. it makes me question myself #and i hate questioning myself bcs im not sure about a THING. is it the right path am i doing things right #and i dont know!!!!!! i dont know!!!!!!!!!!!! i dont know if i made the right decision of dropping out. i dont know if it was the right #choice to start a new major. in a new university. im not sure #and it makes me insecure bcs what if i was wrong what if im doing things wrong what if i didnt do the right thing #idk man. this path has been so lonely and i know i keep repeating myself i just have to wait to do things i want but what if i dont get it #< see i said feeling things usually take the wrong turn #this isn't very silly goofy of me im sorry #i just gotta be my own comedic relief or i will go absolutely fucking insane #idk man. i just wanna feel like i made the right decision and that im doing things for my own good without doubting myself #i wanna feel secure in life and i want to feel proud of me but on the mean time im just gonna live through ppl feeling proud of me #and im gonna live ignoring every single feeling bcs i dont like feeling them at all and im gonna keep protecting myself getting attached to #fictional stories and such #jo.txt #if someone read til here im sorry for the thoughts and stuff i will go back to being silly goofy rn 👍

[problemcore]

THE LEAGUE VIDEOOOO literally sets them all as friends and in good terms i am so not normal about it. THE BETRAYAL!!!!! Purple going from place to place and always being on the move is my favorite thing ever, i also HC that KO moved out of his epic depression chamber of a house and got something nicer since now purple more likely lives w him question mark ? or at least crashes at his place every now and then cause i bet he’s still going back and forth from the internet and the pc (manifesting w all my might that purple gets appearances later on where it is confirmed that he visits the color gang PLEASEEE)

YES YES YES YES YES YES ALL OF THIS YES.

idk if i mentioned but my friend is currently binging season 3 of avm. she just got to the parkour episode. i am SO EXCITED i wish i could experience it for the first time again.....

purp and king are so important to me i hope we see them more in the future.

#writing this mid the worst stomach ache ever #:(((((( #anyway per the ask you sent after this #NO WORRIES LMAOOO I LOVE BEING DERANGED ABOUT STICK FIGURES feel free #we can also scream about them in dms only if u want tho #currently working on designs for. basically all the characters. really excited to finally put together a design for king. #in my traditional notes for my king design i wrote smth like 'hes giving depressed dad from ponyo vibes' #ANYWAY TYSM ENE. UR ALWAYS ALWAYS WELCOME IN MY INBOX 💖 #asks #avm #edit i didnt mention it cuz i was fighting for my life with. the stomach ache. #but ohhhhh i love the house headcanon. he deserves a new start.

[orcelito]

oh but i am so excited for the change in narrative of discacc bc aside from the initial stuff with goro getting into the metaverse, there really wasnt That much action to capture, bc most of the action was like. ykno. stuff that already happens in the game. i wasnt gonna have repeats of things that werent significantly different

BUT NOW.............. omfg omfg omfg ive been thinking about the thing this chapter sooo much (which is good considering im at the cusp of writing it) and just. it’s so goddamn FUN. i love writing action!!!!!! fight scenes r so fun!!!!!! and like no i dont have any kind of formal training with fighting BUT neither do my characters. & by working within the bounds of a video game, i have a general set of guidelines to follow, BUT ALSO of course i wont follow them 100%. no one wants to read a fight scene that just perfectly follows the bounds of turn-based gaming, complete with definite restrictions on skills and sp and whatever the fuck. like. the skills are whatever i need them to be. the sp is whatever i need them to be. i can give them whatever items i need them to have for the narrative. that is my freedom as a writer

AND SO. im having some fun stuff. sorry phantom thieves ur having a rough day today

#speculation nation #discacc shit #though New Phantom Thief goro akechi is having a GREAT day actually. for the most part. #and he is in fact why the others are having a bad day. but shhhhhhh #i have homework due tonight but i THINK i can write for a few hours. before working on the homework. maybe. #i have downloaded microsoft project professional and idk wtf im doing with this actually but the assignment didnt look too difficult #i am on the C U S P of writing this scene so i . want to write it. now #im at 12.6k words. ive been working on it some today. and i will continue to keep working on it. #THE WRITING BUG IS TAKING ME.......... i had pt this morning and even tho i didnt get enough sleep i was writing before and after #and during the pause before my shift. I Been Writing. wild!!!!!!!!!!! #once i get through the meat of this scene there wont be much left to do. just gotta close it out and then do the final scene #WHICH there are kinda several parts to that one. setting up smth for the start of next chapter #BUT ALSO uhhhhhh acknowledging smth that akira sure has not been thinking about lmfao #Best Boyfriend award goes to him but Worst Brother award. listen he's been very preoccupied with goro lmao #7 pm maybe i could get like 2 hours of writing done b4 i gotta focus on the assignment. let's seeeeeeee

[chisatowo]

Less ocs that are canon character's partners or siblings more ocs that are canon characters annoying younger cousin they've met like twice /j

#rat rambles #oc posting #band posting #anyways momoko is on the mind lol #Ive said she and mashiro are cousins before but to elaborate a lil theyve only interacted a few times but momoko kinda hates her #mainly because their parents pushed them rly hard achedemically and was constantly comparred to mashiro who was comparatively much better #they started trying to rebel against that pressure and tried to find smth that they could do without worrying abt other's expectations #and that lead to her finding a passion for music and making new friends who also loved music #them 4 would practice playing and create songs together but never rly went beyond that although they certainly planned to at some point #but then when morfonica became a thing and started doing more live performamces momoko kinda freaked out #she felt like mashiro was gonna steal music from her and it was gonna be like school all over again with mashiro being the score to meet #so she decided to push the band to try performing for real and while they were fine and even excited to do it as time went on they started #to notice that momoko seemed to be having less and less fun with their music and started to worry #after talking to her abt it briefly it freaks momoko out too since she didnt rly notice and she didnt want to stop liking music #with her bandmates help she starts trying to find out what was holding her back and although she tried hard to not let the conclusion be #made it was pretty apparent to her that it was largely because of mashiro and how she felt the need to be objectively better than her #which yknow isnt rly possible with music lol #long story short momoko eventually started trying to work through some of the issues and while shes not completely over it shes gained a #begrudging respect for morfonica and mashiro and is trying to repair their image of mashiro in their mind #I have some light thoughts abt how the other 3 would interact with morfonica but thats not strictly canon to their story since I think #tsukushi would explode if yuriko talked to her yuriko would think shes so cool and mature and shed praise tsukushi sm #anyways I should rly sleep now gn

[unholyeverything]

I just realised tomorrow marks the 7ths week of me being sick and feeling like garbage lol It's some ups and downs but generally it's been a while since I've been healthy and none knows whats up which is nice.

#been to the doctor so many times #and at least my general doc is trying but she cant figure out what's wrong #and the throat specialist I've been to twice in one month got a very helpful “sounds like stress and you imagine all” for me #like thanks i keep having my ear throat and nose inflamed constantly and nothing i tried so far helped but surely its stress #my doc suspected a virus but we also didnt find any active anti bodies #so i was just told to rest and was off work for two weeks that also did nothing #so i worked again even tho my doc was like maybe not but i got psychological issues being home with nothing to do #gotta go to my dentist tomorrow to see if the source is there #but im sure its my ears but I'll never go back to that doc #i was there twice a month cuz it kept getting worse and got a stress stamp #stress i didnt even have lately cuz i got a healthy fuck you all work motivation now #and now I'll lose all chance for promotion cuz i cant do my usual 200% and my bosses translate that with: she broken now bye #going great #also don't really have motivation to draw anymore #I started to build model sets but idk if anyone would wanna see those #I also got a cyst on my ovaries and got an appointment in july #that gives me serious pms like i never had it before but ok #someone knows a doc that'll remove the whole uterus i don't need that shit anymore #anyways in case anyone's been wondering where i am lately or if anyone even read this my asks are open if anyone wants to ask smth #or ask my OCs they live rent free in my head and are very precious to me #even my new car is named Michael #he's cute and my record so far been 190km/h #one day I'll do the 225 he can do #just get off the road that day pls #that car was the onyl thing i worked for so idk what to do with my life now #save for car repairs maybe #anyone wants a pic of my child #he's orange #I'm very proud of myself i managed to save up for him quiet fast #these tags are wild but I'm feeling a bit more energetic thanks to some plant supplements my uncle gave me

[arolesbianism]

Y'know now that I'm seeing a small handful of ppl actually giving a shit abt oni lore it's making it so much harder to not become a nerd emoji every five seconds anytime I see someone talk abt oni because I forget that every source of oni information is comically outdated

#rat rambles #oni posting #I have had my fair bit of mistenteripitations as well I have to fight myself every day to not go and delete a bunch of old posts #I wont delete them because they are a catalog of me getting into oni and thats rly important to me but also aghhhhhh #I was wrong abt so much shit that wasnt even because of misenterpretation just me being bad at reading lol #Im still learning new things every time I revisit the logs because I am that prone to misreading and glazing over things #which is why I Really need to finish up and post all the logs so that other ppl can double check with me lol #well in theory theres still not That many ppl interested in lore and Im not even sure if said ppl would see my catalog #but I still want ppl to have an actually complete source for this stuff so Ill probably start cleaning it up more tomorrow #I also will have to go double check that I didnt miss anything because it's very likely I did #it wont be too hard to clean up just annoying since its copy and pasted from the code #again its just abt cleaning it up so that its a bit more readable #I will keep in the name of each log in the files because I think thats information that ppl should be able to access #yknow in case you wanna read it in game without having to hunt it down #for context you can manually unlock a log in one of the oni folders where log unlocks are stored #you can just open it on a note app or smth and add the logs you wanna unlock and it should add them #I haven't done it myself but Ive done similar stuff and its not hard as long as you know the file names #not saying ppl Should cheat in the logs just that I want those who want to to have the option #now my biggest problem is that I dont actually know which logs are spaced out logs #idk maybe theres a way to tell in the files but chances are Ill just have to leave it unspecified for now #I also might end up digging up any set piece item descriptions since while the vast majotity of them are very much not lore relevant #I know at least 2 (3 To Me) are and if I include those and not others thatd just feel weird #its a similar thing I had with the artifacts where the line between lore relevant and not gets blurred the more I include #so yeah Ill start with just logs and artifacts and Maybe do setpiece building descriptions if I feel up to it #but if any of you find the jackie's office setpiece in your saves then know that you have access to both my favorite setpiece and one of my #favorite lines of text in the game Period #its maybe not that big of a deal but it is 2 Me Ok #and to be clear its not jackies desk although I do love that one too girlie is not over her divorce #anyways time to shower and think abt sploon toon some more since well yknow

[feline-evil]

So the mtl s2 finale really grabbed me by the bawls full force goddamn

#jay talkin #im NOT putting this in the tag godbless but that shit had me screaming all caps at my bf every five seconds #holy shit???? holy shit??? #what the fuck do you mean we're getting all this. this ep was abt the band trying to suck their own dicks #and now its everyone working and fighting together and???? i wasnt expecting this!!! #LIKE. this show is jokes its so not serious so it suddenly delivering a rlly compelling setpiece w drama that felt like it had heart had me #it HAD me. it had me REAL GOOD. holy shit. I JUST PUT THIS SHOW ON FOR SMTH SILLY TO WATCH #DURING A BAD WEEK. CUZ PPL I RESPECT LIKED IT AND I WANTED TO SEE WHAT WAS UP. NOW IT HAS ME BY THE DICKENBALLS #I DIDNT EXPECT TO GET THIS INVESTED. I THOUGHT IT'D JUST BE JAPES #istg the same thing happend w always sunny i started watching it cuz i needed smth funny and kinda mindless #and then the mac episode. YOU KNOW TYHE ONE. W THE DANCE. HAPPENED. AND I WENT OH HOLY SHIT. GODDAMN. FUCK!!!! #snifls and looks at everyone so sopping wet. sorry for the man i become when my brain latches onto smth new. #this time it was an adult cartoon from 2006 so everyone batten down the hatches jays not gonna be normal abt these idiot men ever again