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#I DREW SOMETHING ON TIME FOR SOMETHING YAAAY
blues824 · 1 year
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Housewardens reaction to mc who’s power is similar to denki kaminari’s, especially the yay side affect from overusing the lightning based power
I apologize for not posting more than once today. I watched Hamilton with one of my friends.
Gender-neutral reader
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Riddle Rosehearts
You are the exact opposite of each other (besides having no rizz). You are social and easygoing, he is obviously not. He hated you at first, but you were able to smooth-talk your way into his heart somehow (again, even though you have no rizz).
Riddle always suggests study dates between the two of you since you seem to be struggling academically. You always get stressed out when he gets impatient in how long you are taking to solve a problem he has given you. You’ve shocked him a few times because of it, and you’re very quick to apologize.
When he overblotted, you were afraid to use your power since you could electrocute everyone so you made them get away. You didn’t want to hurt Riddle, but realized that there was no other choice than to use 2 million volts. As you both sat in the infirmary, Riddle got to see your YaAay side and he was scared that you went brain dead.
When you returned to normal, you had to explain that it was the drawback of using that much electricity since you had to use some of your neurons. The thumbs up was to make sure everyone knew you were alright. So you did this for him? Well, for this valiant deed, maybe he could humor you and go on the date you’ve been asking for.
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Leona Kingscholar 
He’s way more of a smooth talker than you could ever dream of being. You are more social and friendly while he’s snarky and grumpy. Eventually, he fell for you and your shenanigans because he can see that you truly care for the people around you.
He’s smart, but he never goes to class. If you ask him to help you, he will refuse since he’s too busy sleeping. You’re better off trying to ask someone else, but since he’s very possessive he doesn’t like it when you ask someone other than him. Not even Ruggie.
When he overblotted, he already knew of your quirk but he didn’t know how much electricity you were able to use. When he heard you shout ‘2 million volts’, he knew that this was about to hurt real bad. In the infirmary, Leona was laughing so hard at your brain-dead side.
When you returned to normal, you had to tell him that you probably lost some neurons because of it. You had some serious power (get it?) within you, didn’t you? Well, he has to admit that what you did was brave, so you have his respect (and his heart).
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Azul Ashengrotto
He absolutely despised you, but also realized that your personality and natural charm drew people in. He most definitely tried to hire you to get more customers, but you refused saying that you didn’t like to work unless it was mandatory for school.
He would then try to get you under contract by suggesting a way to cheat in exchange for your magic. However, you didn’t have magic. You had a quirk, and it couldn’t be taken away by anything besides someone else’s quirk.
When he overblotted, he came to the quick realization that being underwater was probably not the best environment to fight you in. If you remember from science class, water is an electric conductor, so he will get electrocuted. And he was, with the 2 million volts you shot out. Now he’s panicking when you are both in the infirmary since you’re kind of brain dead.
Embarrassed, you explained that it was an unfortunate side effect to your very powerful quirk. So you risked a few neurons just to make sure that he wouldn’t die because of his overblot? Well now he is kind of flustered at how much you care for him.
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Kalim Al-Asim
“Corporate needs you to find the difference between Y/N and Kalim.” “They’re the same person” -Blue (2023). Nah but seriously, y’all were made from the same mold or something. He doesn’t understand what you’re trying to say when you flirt with him, so you might as well not even try.
You both are kinda not… great in an academic way of speaking. Jamil always gets frustrated at the two of you when you don’t understand a topic that he has gone over multiple times. Eventually, you get stressed and zap both of them.
When Jamil overblotted, you were afraid that Kalim would get electrocuted as well since he refused to leave without you. You told him to take cover and shot out 2 million volts. Since the Vice Housewarden had an ink monster trailing, it took the brunt of the shock. In the infirmary, Kalim is taking care of you until your brain revives itself.
It’s then that you apologize and tell him that that is what happens when you use so much electricity without giving yourself time to charge back up. He laughed and said that it was alright, then he thanked you for protecting him and his best friend. 
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Vil Schoenheit
He didn’t hate you… he just very much disliked you. Sure, you had a great personality, but your flirting needed some work. You often got flustered by the things he said to you rather than him getting flustered by the things you said to him. 
The reason why he tells himself that he dislikes you (because he genuinely actually loves you) is that you’re kinda dumb. You were a bad influence on Epel since you didn’t study a lot, and if you did you kinda failed it even though you didn’t take any test yet.
When he overblotted, he knew your first move would be to evacuate everyone so that you would be able to use your quirk. What he didn’t know was it was because you were about to release 2 million volts of electricity. He had to hold in his laughter when he saw you just yAaAy your way around the infirmary.
Once you come back, you are so embarrassed as he asks what the heck happened. You have to tell him that it was a drawback to the amount of electricity you shot out of your body. It took a toll on your brain, and now he feels kind of bad for laughing. Perhaps he could treat you to dinner that he has prepared himself as a way to apologize?
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Idia Shroud
You freaked him out because you were extroverted and he was introverted. You were nice, but you were eccentric and that’s what he was wary of. Plus, your flirting actually worked on him because he got flustered so freaking easily.
Since he is shy and has a crush on you, he will most likely run away before you have the chance to ask him for help on your homework. You often have to ask Ortho instead and give Idia a message through the younger Shroud sibling.
When Idia overblotted, your first move was to use your quirk at its max capacity. The problem was that it would be fighting fire with electricity. However, ink is electrically conductive so you were able to overload it with the 2 million volts you released. It came at the price of Idia freaking out at you being brain-dead for an hour.
Once you came back, he let out a huge sigh of relief. He thought it was like a fairytale where he would have to kiss you to bring you back. You were so embarrassed and had to explain that it was the drawback to your quirk. He totally wasn’t disappointed that he couldn’t be your prince charming and save you from the state of unconsciousness that you were in.
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Malleus Draconia
He actually really enjoyed your company. You were so eccentric and exciting, as well as friendly and encouraging. Sure, he didn’t understand your way of flirting, but that was all okay because you weren’t scared of him.
The dragon fae would absolutely love to help you with your homework. He understands that it could be frustratingly confusing to someone who didn’t have magic, so he remains patient whenever he sees you struggle with a concept. 
When Leona overblotted, you had warned everyone to evacuate. Malleus was still there to see the electricity coming from you turn the dust that Leona created to glass. He also got hit with some of the bolts when you released 2 million volts, but he was able to withstand it. He got to see you turn dumb for a whole hour, which was amusing and concerning to him.
Once you came to, you were so embarrassed at how you were so vulnerable in front of him. He let a smile grace his face as he assured you that it was intriguing how you managed to walk up to him even while brain-dead. It meant that even unconsciously, you trusted him.
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sifasdt · 7 months
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SIFAS Daily Theatre Classic: 2021-08-19
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(Transcription after the break.)
[Image transcription:]
SIFAS Daily Theatre for 2021-08-19
The Feeling of The Faces
Honoka: Do this here~, this part.... should be like this~.... alright, it's done! Rina-chan, how about this one? Rina-chan's board 「La~lala~♪」 Rina: Waaah, 「La~lala~♪」 gives out a lively feeling. Honoka: Ehehe, I'm happy to hear that from a Rina-chan's board professional such as you. Rina: If you don't mind, I'd like to add it to the Rina-chan's board repertoire. Honoka: Yaaay! So you see, this one represents how I felt when my mom told me this morning that "We're going to have strawberry shortcake for dessert today" just before I left~. You can use it whenever you feel thrilled or can't wait for something! Rina: Fufu, it's really cheerful with all the music notes and hearts drawn on it. The one I drew is this. Rina-chan's board 「Delighted」 Honoka: The eyes are hearts on this one, how cute~! This gives off the feeling like you're having a lot of fun. And maybe a little bit excited too? Rina: Yeah, it's how I feel drawing these faces with you, Honoka-san. Honoka: Rina-chan....!! I also love drawing boards and spending time with you~! Rina: Ehehe, I'm glad, but also a little embarrassed. Rina-chan's board 「Blush」
[End transcription.]
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groovylittleclown · 1 year
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TUMBLR PEOPLE I HAD THE BEST DAY!!!!
So I went to work with my mom, because there's an Ichthyology lab down the hall from her office. She works for one of the museums in our town. Anyway, I was given a tour, was talked to about volunteering to help move specimens and sort them and it was AWESOME!!! But even better than that, there were THOUSANDS of specimens of jarred fish!! I saw the worlds largest jarred goby, I saw scalloped hammerhead pups, I saw shark embryos!!! Oh it was amazing!! And I was emailed a volunteer form (that I haven't filled out yet, I should do that) and I hope I can volunteer!! Sorting is one of my favorite hobby-ish things ever!! So that, COMBINED with fish!?! I'm in heaven.
Here are pictures I took of them!!
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I'm so excited!! And this was before noon!! I woke at 6 for this!!
I also drew a little bit while I was there!
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ANYWAY! After that, it was about time for me to go to work There’s a little dip in my mood because I was freaked out by the buses because I've never ridden the buses before and I was very lost and confused and ended up accepting her offer to drive me to work. (Thank you sm mom!)
So I got a bit lost, again, but eventually found my way to her car and she was frustrated because she was running late and I'm almost 19 and am scared of a bus, which is completely understandable, I'd be frustrated too, probably! So I was sitting there, Down To The Bone playing in one ear because I couldn't take out my ear bud and let her know that I had previously been listening to music. Don't know why, just couldn't do it.
So we pull into where I work, I go in through the stage/staff entrance, wait for 15 minutes for work to actually start start, and when it does, BAM! Excitement all over again!! Today was general new hire training, last week was carpentry training, because I did stuff a bit out of order. So we briefly went over lights and audio first (<3<3<3<3<3), I start talking to some of the other new hires, I've deemed one of them my friend because I stuck near her the whole time.
After that, we did a big building tour, I saw the star drssing rooms, regular dressing rooms, the spot section, weight hallway for rigging, a mini show room, and a buncha other stuff that I'm too tired to remember rn. The point of it is, Tour. Bam. Done. Lots of heights, but that's ok because I love heights! My legs were shaking by the end of it tho. I can't stand for more than half an hour without them hurting and I was already pushing it by the beginning of the tour, but I'm at work and we're training, so I can't just sit down whenever, y'know? Anyway, shaky legs, yaaay. We went over carp, I was able to watch without interacting because I did more in-depth training for it last week, and then rigging!! I was so tired, it took everything in me to not pass out, I missed half of what she said, which I feel really bad about because rigging is important and I want to learn it but I couldn't stand and sitting was making me really sleepy, so there wasn't anything I really could do about that.
Anyway, I'm home now, the sky is really pretty, and tumblr keeps yelling at me to tag my posts. I'm gonna sleep for a year, or something /j
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airoarts · 3 years
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Happy fathers day and also pride to the dad polycule
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deleteddewewted · 3 years
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Omega! Kurogiri x Alpha male Reader headcannon?
Omega! Kurogiri Headcanons
Kurogiri x M! Reader
Yaaay! Male reader here i come! Thanks for sending in a request, I hope the mild yandere/obsessive behavior is ok. Also, massive spoilers for those who haven't read the manga, so please don't read if you don't want spoilers. The anime will eventually explain this.
Omega! Kurogiri Part 2
TW: Obsessive behavior, murder, blood, fluff in places it shouldn’t be in, a bit of angst.
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He smells like death….with a hint of whiskey and a faint musk. He doesn’t particularly care what people think about his scent, his focus isn’t on that.
He never thought he’d meet someone that would make him swoon. His entire focus and purpose in life was taking care of his unofficial adopted son with anger issues.
He met you during a battle. You were both on opposite sides of the same messed up coin.
He felt like he knew you, something in the fog that covered his mind drew him to you.
It became a fixation for him, he would look around online or even when he was on duty for you.
He needed to see you, make sure that everything was fine and that you hadn't died yet.
"Kurogiri!" "Yes, Shigaraki?" "Why are you looking at the national hero ranking board?" "Don't you have a plan to get to?" "uuUUUUUUGHHHHH! You suck!"
In his dreams he finds you in a UA uniform, laughing and smiling at him. You called out for him using name he's never heard before yet felt attached to.
"Hey, _____! Come here, let me ____" He couldn't hear you, but he knew that you weren't dangerous. He wanted to be closer to you. He wanted to touch you, feel...you.
When he woke up he blinked and just stared at his ceiling in silence. He couldn't describe what he felt, but he could describe what his body did.
Crying. He was crying over something he wasn't even sure was real.
The next day, he dedicated himself to finding you. He followed you around and was able to take notice of your work schedule.
On your day off you would visit a specific grave. Oboro Shirakumo.
Your scent would change every time you would visit the specific grave. It became potent with a bitter undertone. A sharp smell that made Kurogiri shudder.
The more he watched the more he wanted. He craved to have you at this point.
His mind was going on loop these days. "He's mine, he will be mine, he's already mine." He wants everything about you.
The next time you both meet was during your kidnapping. You had been missing for a few days and Kurogiri was able to find you.
Your kidnapper never had a chance.
Kurogiri doesn't remember how thrilling it was to kill someone. He mostly left that up to the other LOV members.
But it was even more thrilling to save someone, especially when that someone was your destined.
He picked you up from the floor, keeping the blindfold on you, and took you to an empty warehouse in the outskirts of the city.
"Im sorry for the inconvenience, allow me to take the blind off of you." He took it off and once your eyes focused you couldn't help but take note of the blood all over him.
"Kurogiri." You acknowledge him but didn't want to risk anything more. You won't lie, you were terrified of him.
"My dear, could you please allow me to do one more thing to you?" You keep glaring at him. "Depends on what it is." "Excellent! Could you allow me to smell you?"
What? Smell you?
"Im sorry-" "Please, would you allow me this one pleasure?" The fear over powered anything else so you nodded.
Kurogiri was in heaven. Your smell was mouth watering just like he remembered. Remembered?
He wanted more.
He let you go but he continued to follow you. He even started to self sabotage himself and the league.
He would make himself known to you and drop off clues and information for you. In return all he asked for was to smell you. In other occasion it was to hold you.
This arrangement continues and he eventually becomes bolder. Asking to scent you and even asked you to share heats with him. You agreed to the scenting but refuse the sharing of his heat. You were a hero which meant that you wouldn't start salivating like a numb skull alpha chad but you couldn’t do that. Share a heat even if it was just cuddling and the occasional show of affection.
You just couldn't wrap your head around the fact that a high and respected member of the LOV was wasting time with you!
When Kurogiri was captured and taken to Tartarus thats when you bothered with truly building something with him.
His scent was blocked and he was placed on heavy amounts of hormonal blockers to prevent heats. He didn't care at all, he didn't need his inner omega to tell him what to do.
You would come in and sit down to speak about everything he did in the league. You were here on business, at least thats what you told him.
He eventually was given the opportunity to walk around his little cell but he was still monitored and he would keep being on quirk suppressors.
"I dream, i hope you know this." "Why's that Kuro'?" Kurogiri shivers at the nickname. He truly loves- wants you. "I dream specifically of you, my dear."
Things further changed when you decided to step inside his cell.
Still being monitored and still under strict rules, you both managed to build on the existing relationship you had.
You would both laugh about whatever stories you had to share but it was one in particular that changed everything for him.
"When i was in high school, i had this friend who would throw himself off buildings." "That sounds reckless. Why would you surround yourself with someone like that y/n?" "You'll see Kuro'. Anyways, his quirk would let him create clouds and well, i didn't know that yet. He dragged me up to the roof and started saying that he liked me. He would go on about the little things i would do, the way i would smell, the way i would help out with our other classmates. Then, he feel off the roofs edge and i thought he died." You paused and looked at Kurogiri. You smiled brightly at him.
The fog was moving away from his mind and the image of the young man came back, all smiles and laughter.
"He popped up from the edge and was floating around on his cloud." The fog was completely lifted, there you were. You laughing at his attempt to flirt. You ran your fingers threw his cloud mist hair and held his cheek in your hand. You told him that it was a good try but that he should just stick to two word phrases.
He feel for you then and he was falling even more now.
He couldn't remember it but he told you the same thing that he told you all of those years ago.
"Im sorry, but your to perfect to just put into two words my dear."
There he was, your mate.
Here was your omega and life mate Oboro "Loud Cloud" Shirakumo.
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trashyswitch · 2 years
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Day 26 & 27: Haunted House & Death Spot
Logan and Virgil visit another place, only it's an asylum this time! And when Virgil gets too scared, Logan (And a few others) start to calm him down.
For @kanene-yaaay
This fanfic is for Shannon too! You know who you are~ I hope you like it!
Logan and Virgil jumped into a window and landed inside the really dark abandoned building. Quickly, they turned on their flashlights and examined the rundown, cluttered place.
“Whoa...This place is really old...And fairly scary.” Logan admitted.
“Y-You think?!” Virgil yelled.
“Are you scared already?” Logan asked.
“We-we’re in an asylum man! Of course I’m freaked out!” Virgil reacted.
“Awww, muffin.” Logan teased.
Virgil punched him in the arm. “Shut up!”
Logan laughed at him and rubbed his arm.
Virgil was right: They were in an asylum. The asylum had little kid’s pictures on the walls, tables for the people to sit on, and more. It was so creepy. Virgil came across a little kid’s drawing of a house, and couldn’t help but tear up. These kids were probably desperate to go home. What a life to live…
“Hey Logan…” Virgil walked up to his brother. “How much do you wanna bet this kid missed home?” Virgil asked.
“Potentially a lot.” Logan replied.
Virgil put the drawing down on the table and looked around at more of the drawings. There were so many!
“One of these kids drew an airplane.” Virgil told him.
“Well, there is an airport nearby.” Logan mentioned.
“Really?” Virgil asked.
“Yup. It’s an old one.”
Virgil nodded and looked out the window they climbed through. “Is this place haunted?” Virgil asked.
“Potentially...I don’t quite know. I assume it will be quite haunted, considering its history.” Logan told him.
Virgil looked around the room again, and noticed a dusty music box. He walked up to the music box, and picked it up. It was quite dusty, so he dusted it off and blew the dust off it. He had to close his eyes to prevent any of the dust from coming into his eyes.
Virgil spun the music box lever, and watched the little bar spin clockwise in the music box. The song was a rendition of the Muppets song ‘Moving right along’. It was really cute looking.
He started singing the song to the melody that played, and smiled a little. Someone must’ve loved the Muppets.
But suddenly, a woosh of wind moved by him, and the music box’s glass shattered into a million pieces! Virgil quickly dropped the music box, and dusted off the glass shards. “Oh man…”
“What happened!?” Logan asked, removing the glass shards from his shoulders and kicked the still-spinning music box away from them. “You could’ve cut yourself.” Logan told him.
“It wasn’t my fault! Some wind shattered it!” Virgil told him.
“Uh huh…” Logan muttered.
“It...It’s true!” Virgil told him.
“I know...I know.” Logan told him. “Wind does that all the time.” he said with a smile.
Virgil frowned. “You don’t believe me at all.” Virgil told him.
“No...No I don’t.” Logan chuckled.
Virgil growled and started kicking the music box till the music box car fell off.
“Hey now...No need to be all spazzy about it. It’s gonna be fine.” Logan told him.
“IT HAPPENED, LOGAN!” Virgil shouted.
“I know, I know! Okay?! It’s fine!” Logan reacted.
Virgil started to calm down and moved onto the rest of the asylum.
The asylum was covered in dirt and soot, and also had overgrown trees growing in the windows. There were also lots of weeds growing in the cracks between the tiles, and vines growing on the walls.
“Hey Logan, how would you feel-” Virgil had turned around and widened his eyes. “...Logan?” Virgil asked.
Virgil looked around the haunted house and looked for Logan. “Loooogaaan!” Virgil called.
Suddenly, something grabbed him!
Virgil SCREAMED and turned around. “WHAT THE- Logan!” Virgil hugged his brother.
Logan giggled and gently punched Virgil’s arm. “I scared ya! I gotcha!” Logan teased.
“Ow- Yeah, you did.” Virgil admitted.
“It’s okay. It’s alright. I promise.” Logan told him as he started to tickle him.
“Yeheheah- Hehehehehey!” Virgil laughed.
“Hey what? Hey that tickles? Well I know it tickles. I can hear you clearly laughing.” Logan told him.
“STAHAHAHAP! WHYHYHYHY HEHEHERE?!” Virgil asked.
“Because you’re all spooked and you need to calm down a little.” Logan told him.
“IHIHI DOHOHO NAHAHAHAT!” Virgil argued.
“Well, you kinda do.” Logan told him.
“DOHOHO NAHAHA- BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! NAHAHAHAT THEHEHE AHAHARMPIHIHIHITS!” Virgil shouted.
Logan frowned in confusion. Armpits? Logan wasn’t tickling him on the armpits...He was tickling his sides. And the sides aren’t even close to his sides!
“What do you mean ‘not the armpits’?” Logan asked.
Virgil was squealing and squeezing his arms against his chest. “THAHAHAT- THAHAHAT’S NAHAHAT YOHOHOHOU?!” Virgil asked.
Logan removed his hands. “No! No it’s not! Look! No hands!” Logan showed him.
Virgil opened his eyes enough to see that Logan was telling the truth.
Wait...If Logan wasn’t tickling him, then WHO?!
“WHOHOHO’S TIHIHICKLIHIHING MEHEHEHE THEHEHEN?!” Virgil asked.
“I have no idea.” Logan admitted.
Suddenly, Virgil was floating up in the air! Logan gasped and just about screamed! But, he quickly placed a hand over his own mouth. Virgil was actually floating and being tickled! This was an actual thing that was happening! What in the world-
“HEHEHEHELP! IHIHIHIT’S SOHOHOHO BAHAHAHAD!” Virgil begged.
Logan widened his eyes more. Oh no…They’re tickling him way too much!
“Hold on, I’m coming!” Logan grabbed a nearby stick and started swinging it around Virgil. But the stick only hit the thin air.
But suddenly, Logan felt something pick him up by the waist, and start tickling him on his side.
“Ohohoho! Thihihis ihihis sohohoho weihihihird!” Logan reacted.
“IHIHI KNOHOHOHOW! HAHAHAHAHAHA!” Virgil laughed.
Logan giggled and shook his head as he felt the shoe laces get untied. “NAHAHAT THEHERE!!” Virgil shouted.
Logan dropped the stick and tried to reach for the ghost. But of course, that didn’t work. Again, he only hit thin air.
The ghosts reached up to Logan’s armpits, and started tickling there! Funny thing, Virgil and Logan have one tickle spot in common: The armpits.
“BAHAHAHAHAHA! EEEEHEHEHEHEHEHE!” Logan laughed.
“AHAHARMPIHIHIHITS!?” Virgil asked.
“YEHEHEHES!” Logan replied.
“IHIHI KNEHEHEHEW IHIHIHIHIT!” Virgil told him.
“HEHEHEHEHEHELP! HEHEHELP UHUHUHUHUS! IHIHIHIT’S SOHOHOHO TIHIHIHICKLIHIHISH!” Virgil shouted.
“PLEHEHEHEASE HEHEHEHELP!” Logan begged.
Virgil kicked his feet harder and harder, as if hitting the ghosts was possible and easy to do. Logan was flailing his arms all over the place, hoping to hit something or someone off him.
“HEHEHEHELLOHOHOHO?!” Virgil called.
Suddenly, something began to tug on his shoe! Virgil tugged and tugged on it, hoping the ghost would let go. But it just wouldn’t!
“OHOHO NOHOHO! NAHAHAT MYHYHYHY FEHEHEHEHEET!!” Virgil begged.
“NAHAHAHAT HIHIHIS FEHEHEHEET! HEHEHEHE’LL DIHIHIHIE!” Logan begged for him.
“IHIHIHI’LL DIHIHIHIHIE!” Virgil told him.
Logan tried to push the hands out of his armpits. But all he could feel was air. Only air.
“IHIHIHI’M BEHEHEHEGGIHIHING! LEHEHEHET GOHOHOHOHO!” Virgil begged.
Finally, the shoe made a smack sound on the ground, and a ghost started to tickle Virgil’s foot. Virgil SCREAMED and completely went silent.
“STAHAHAHAP IHIHIHIT! HEHEHE’S DYHYHYIHIHIHING!” Logan begged.
All of a sudden, the tickling stopped. It completely stopped. No more tickling. Virgil was still giddy after being tickled so much. Logan was really giddy too. He couldn’t stop giggling if his life depended on it.
“Ihihihi...Thahahahanks.” Virgil told him.
Out of nowhere, a finger started drawing on his back.
“Y-o-u-’-r-e w-e-l-c-o-m-e” was what it said.
Virgil smiled and looked behind his back. “I’m Virgil.” virgil told him.
“Who are you talking to?” Logan asked.
Another ghost walked up to Logan and wrote a message to him.
“M-e”
Logan widned his eyes and...smiled.
“Nice to meet you...I suppose.” Logan reacted kindly.
N-i-c-e t-o m-e-e-t y-o-u t-o-o” The ghost wrote.
“I’m Logan.” Logan told him.
Then, both ghosts started writing something on both backs at the same time;
‘T-i-c-k-l-e t-i-m-e”
And then the tickling started up all over again…
Because this is also the 27th, there will be no tickletober fic tomorrow. Though, I might upload a fic that's unrelated to tickletober anyway.
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masoqueen-official · 2 years
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October of paperhat (inktober) 2021
Day 29 - Jealous
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Cameooo lmao XD
Happy release day! 🖤🖤🖤🖤👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼💖💖💖💖😩😩😩
*cries in America with the rest of the internet*
There's so much to say in such little time
Basically, the white pen is still dead 🙂
It's 11:40 and I'm in a hotel in Georgia pf
Bipolar snatched me up today from kicking my feet to that damn beat in the street like a beast and nobody can kill my mood this morning to- don't talk to me at all i angi, also my hear- A C K THERE IT IS AGAIN
Uhhhh h h hhh i worked on like 5 different arts today yaaay, they include my villainous "release day" art which IS done (and i started today) but i feel like something is missing and I've been awake since 5am and now it's 11:45pm sooo 👐🏼 maybe I'll just post it first thing tomorrow if i don't do it after this (here’s a preview tho :) ),
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(The bh and Flug’s lineart is just b,jbjkbjmbmhbbhmbjhvjhvj 💕💕💕💕💕)
there was also two people in my D.E. Art i finished, and- OH YEAH Oh MY GOD i finally listened to Aldo Maldonado's logs and hOOOooOoh MY GOD- i can't- 🤌🏼🤌🏼🤌🏼 so I drew them instead haha (the top drawing was actually from 2 months ago when I left for Florida, There’s also 2 more doodles I added lol), that pic in the window -w-, and some other stuff maybe I think idk—-
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Anyhmsbjbhjahjbsbhkhjsbj I should probably go now because there’s finally a real hoTEl ☁️ bed to sleep in and hUhuhHUhhi that’s my excuse, if you know the hotel bed comfort you’ll undeterstand. Also I should let myself off easy sometimes y’know? Ocd, anxitey, all that and all. So uhm, gn and hello new fans! 💖❤️‍🩹🖤
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senju-sekhmet · 3 years
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The Leash (Part 8)
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Summary: Your rescue was supposed to be as smooth as these missions can be. However very quickly, Tobirama faces off against an enemy that has no form, color or smell - and time is running short, very fast. Unless he figures out what truly holds you hostage, your life will be lost. Warnings (for the finished work): Blood, illness, descriptions of heavy injuries and graphic violence, torture (both depicted and implied), needles, morally grey territory, human experimentation, panic attacks, character death, angst with a happy ending ~6200 words (this chapter, finished work: 80.000) Previous: Part 1; Part 2; Part 3; Part 4; Part 5; Part 6; Part 7 Read on AO3!   Disclaimer below the cut! Updated again, yAAAY!!
DISCLAIMER! Next part of the split! a bit longer. and not as soon as I hoped, gosh dangerit. But! Hopefully I’ll get the next one out a lot quicker. This chapter is a little bit special as I tried to incorporate something of a real intensive care take into what is happening as well as my own... ideas about how they'd deal with it all. Let me know what you think! Other than that: enjoy my very self indulgent work, filled with my own headcanons and angst galore. Let me know what you think and thank you so much for reading!!!! ______ It took him a moment to get his bearings again. Hashirama’s back was turned towards him, he was sitting in a chair by your side. The setting sun’s red light illuminated the room in warm hues Tobirama might have appreciated were it not for the sheer sense of dread he felt budding inside of him. The dreary exhaustion was swept away as he stepped closer slowly. Peripherally he picked up a weak pulse of chakra with sensor skills - nothing uncommon for him if he came close enough to a source. Usually he had to actively tap into his sensory skills in order to pick anything up, but if the signal was strong enough, it almost forced itself upon him. Right now, it most likely was your body. As Tobirama rounded the bed he saw your face: pale - paler than before, he was sure - and sweaty. You were taking shallow, hushed breaths while the odd whimper escaped your lips every now and then. Truth be told, Tobirama only remembered you trashing and writhing the last time the withdrawal had set in - now, you simply squirmed, sometimes.
Your expression was far from peaceful though. It was a grimace of sheer pain. Jaw taut, a frown etched onto your forehead and the eyes so tightly, your skin was in wrinkles.
Hashirama was holding your hand, his eyes were closed. An epitome of calmness next to your misery. Tobirama didn’t want to disturb his concentration lest he’d cause you even more torment so for a moment, he stood by the other side of the bed, helplessly witnessing your suffering. The dread had become the painfully familiar constriction of his chest again, every beat of his heart stabbed as he could only let his shoulders hang low.
It was wrong. He should never have agreed to let you suffer like this. The promise you had him make was a hollow echo in his ears. You probably wouldn’t want him to berate himself like this. But how couldn’t he? How couldn't he, when this was the result of the decision? Of course, the cruel logic behind this was clear to him - painfully so.
But if these past few days had been anything but logical every so often.
Hashirama cleared his throat, slowly. “Tobirama,” he greeted, quietly. He didn’t open his eyes.
Tobirama jumped at the opportunity. “How is she?”, he demanded swiftly, keeping his voice low but making no effort to stow back on the urgency.
Hashirama didn’t respond directly, which only served to irritate Tobirama slightly. “It’s difficult,” he began finally, “Initially we were able to stave off the brunt of the withdrawal by sealing her chakra away,” Tobirama’s blood near froze in his veins, his eyes widened slightly, “But it’s been picking up since. Her blood pressure has been dropping and I’ve been noticing signs of inflammation primarily along her blood vessels but also the heart and lungs." He paused momentarily, uttering a hum of ponder. "The reaction overall is similar to sepsis at this point. Likely the body trying to clear out the leash physically now that her chakra can't interact with it anymore.”
Tobirama couldn’t help himself now. He had to know - to see - with a fine tremor in his hand and a raspy breath he took a step closer to grasp the blanket that covered you and pull it lower, very slowly. As lightly as he could. You stirred as the cloth moved, a feeble shudder of your weak body, but no more. On your chest he could already make out the ink markings of the chakra seal on your bare chest. The sight stole alone his breath momentarily. He violently swallowed down the lump in his throat.
He had believed seeing you weak, tortured, a shadow of your former self - that was one of the worst parts about all of this - he had been wrong.
This. This was worse. It all painted a new horrible picture for what it implied.
There were more seals on your glistening skin - both of your arms and your heart, each of them with a parchment in their center that had been soaked in herbs whose smell each he knew well. Tobirama recognized these: one was stabilising your cardiovascular system both through the seal’s effect itself but also by letting the herbal agent be applied transdermally. The fact you already bore it - the Ione on your heart to make it pump stronger - was a grim sign. The other two were strong pain and sedation medications. Were anyone other than his brother here, he’d probably have refused to wait any longer with the next dose.
He pulled the blanket back up again and crossed his arms in front of his chest as if that helped to reinforce his broken, guilty resolve about all this. “Tell me more,” he requested firmly, eyes never leaving your gaunt face now. This is the only way, he kept telling himself.
“Mito and I drew the chakra seal. It is temporary and can be opened and closed, I’ll show you later. When Y/n gets the next dose and is in her lucid phase, we can open it again for her comfort,” Hashirama consoled quickly. Whether or not he had taken note of what Tobirama had done, he didn’t care right now. It was a slight relief. Maybe you hadn’t felt any of it. Maybe.
“She’s rather still, anija,” Tobirama whispered, now with more worry and firmness. "You sedated her?"
His brother hummed affirmatively. “We … were forced to, indeed.” The hesitance was clear in his tone.
“I see.” Tobirama’s in turn was grave. His next question he blurted out before he was even sure whether he wanted to know the answer. Who was he kidding? Of course he did. “I surmise otherwise, she wouldn’t be still enough to be monitored like this,” to put it lightly. He didn’t have the stomach right now to utter: Otherwise you’d be screaming from the top of your lungs and writhing like you were on fire.
Just like the last time you had been in withdrawal.
Just like the prisoners had explained.
Hashirama appeared to be grateful for Tobirama’s rare show of more neutral words. “You are correct.” The admission didn’t hurt any less for it.
“What about the other seals?” Tobirama demanded then, though of course Hashirama would know that Tobirama was aware of what they did. What he really wanted to know was how bad off you were. For all Tobirama knew, you might be carrying more of those already.
“I was forced to draw these a bit ago as the physical symptoms started to kick in worse again,” he replied evenly. “I first tried oral medication, but the effect was too weak. And administering it was ineffective.”
By ineffective, he meant impossible. You probably quite violently refused anything. Tobirama’s eyes widened slightly at the implication though. It meant your condition was worse enough that without these seals - the seal on your heart to support your cardiovascular system, really - you’d most likely be teetering on the brink of death than life. His hands bunched the fabric of his black shirt. “Exactly how much support does she need right now?” he demanded now, still not daring to step closer.
Hashirama gave a low sigh, but still did not open his eyes nor move his hand from yours. “It’s bearable. Due to the seal, the disruption is impairing her dormant chakra only, but it is not fighting back of course. The symptoms are being caused by her body’s physical reaction which we’re controlling with the medication and the other seals, for now. I’m simply monitoring. It’s just the three seals, Tobirama.”
He was not calmed down at all. “Still, you’ve already been forced to draw this to improve her cardiovascular situation.” Tobirama stated flatly, the neutral kindness gone. He started to paint a pretty dismal picture of your situation without even having examined you already.
Hashirama noticed, too. “And we can still increase the support of these seals. The fever is being kept in check, and while I admit her body is reacting physically, for now it is mostly symptomatic of the withdrawal rather than an actual damaging inflammatory reaction. I’d wager we even have a little bit more time before we have to give her the next dose of the leash.”
It should have served to put him at ease. And yet - “As if that should be our only concern,” Tobirama shot back, voice suddenly caustic. Your pained grimace was testament to the fact you were walking through hell once more and here he was, deliberating how long he could prolong it.
His stomach roiled as his breathing became jittery again. He had to close his eyes lest his brother witnessed his possibly glistening eyes; or at the very least the obvious pain in his glance. It wasn't as though he wanted to hide it - he just needed to be alone with it.
Hashirama was a very understanding person, after all.
And because of that he picked up on it nonetheless. “Y/n wanted this, brother.” It was all he said. Tobirama didn’t want to hear anything, anyway. There was nothing anyone could say about all of this.
Another concern hit him then, distancing himself quickly from the biting cynicism that rose up inside of him. “What about the amount of chakra overload? The seals will aggravate that,” he subconsciously stepped closer, more and more wishing to just see for himself how you really fared. Nonetheless his tone was demanding again.
“That is correct,” Hashirama agreed quickly, but calmly. “And I won’t lie, we are pushing the limit here. But given our options, it is the safest route. It is manageable right now however.”
Tobirama frowned and wondered if he truly did agree with that statement. Following blindly - even his brother’s no doubt superior medical expertise - just wasn’t in him. Especially when it concerned you. “Overload symptoms would be similar to what she is experiencing now, though," he countered tersely.
Hashirama inhaled deeply. “Which is why we’ll need to continue to watch carefully, even after she gets the dose. It’s not a perfect solution, but so far it’s working. If it happens to become too intense, then we know to cut the interval shorter again to lessen the needed seals.”
The words caused a sudden surge of ire through his dismal demeanor. All of this sounded more like experimentation rather than a real course of action. Not that his brother could know any better, but it still didn’t make him appreciate it any more. He forcibly took deep breaths in order to not snap again, but the ire was a welcome distraction from the utter despair that had taken over.
Hashirama opened his eyes then finally and his dark eyes gave him a warm glance. Tobirama instantly frowned, concerned it may hamper with his focus - but before he could speak, his brother did. “Take a seat, look for yourself. I know you want to.”
He didn’t have to say it twice. Tobirama grabbed one of the chairs swiftly and placed it on the other side of your bed, taking a seat then. Gingerly, he took your hand in his and closed his eyes to let his chakra meet your network and begin to examine you.
It was a mess. The first thing he noticed was the complete absence of a chakra flow - it was frozen in its tracks. And while before there certainly had been the many injuries you had yet to properly recover from, now there was a war raging in your body. Manageable. That was the word Hashirama had used. Tobirama himself would not go beyond that, if even. There was hardly a part of yourself not affected by all this; anywhere he looked he found signs of inflammation, microscopic injury in the tissue that was attacked, torn down and at the same time, rebuilt. The picture was similar to sepsis, as his brother had said indeed: your own body’s reaction to the leash was, ultimately, killing you. The leash itself seemed to cause damage on its own, but it was minor compared to the damages your own body was doing to yourself by trying to fend it off. At this point it was just a matter of time until that got too bad. After all, it already had begun to cause a capillary leak on a scale that required outward support to keep your blood pressure up. Your heart rate was elevated for compensation, and your organs each showed signs of damage due to said leak as well as the inflammation itself.
His focus needed to be extremely sharp to even make out traces of the leash in the rush of your frantically beating heart - intense scrutiny that surely wouldn’t go unnoticed by you. He withdrew quickly. Tobirama knew the leash would be latched - branded, almost - to your blood at this point. That easily explained why no part of your body was spared - just like in a real sepsis. Though he noticed the heart and lungs seemed to be affected more, too, as Hashirama had mentioned - examining them closer, he found the reaction here was particularly bad. Your lungs, as the extremely thin tissue of the alveoles were extremely affected by this - again, just like in sepsis. It was a matter of time until breathing problems would ensure. Your heart, as it strained to fight for a stable blood pressure while being inadequately perfused, suffering tissue damage on a microscopic scale, for now. At the very least, this might affect you immediately - but Tobirama found none of these damages couldn’t be healed, either.
Just not now.
Frankly, he hadn’t expected to feel better after this, exactly. However to witness the battle that was going on inside of you - one you were losing, ultimately, always - it added a new dimension to the sorrow and heartache he was feeling. Even though right now he felt the hum of the seals that had been painted on you and their effects - strengthening you - he felt nothing but helplessness to bear witness to your suffer firsthand and do nothing but to figure out how to prolong it. It didn’t just hurt his heart - it wrenched it around, tore at it. He didn’t want to do this.
Promise me.
He had promised you.
With a broken sigh, he withdrew and slumped back in the chair, eyes on your gaunt, pained face. His vision was blurry.
“Tobirama,” Hashirama’s voice startled him. With this dismal sight and the lingering extortion from his shadow clone stunt, which his body certainly had not forgotten, concentration was becoming touch and go as his thoughts circled in dark places. “The sedative will begin to wear off, soon. For the next dose, I’d rather she be more awake to ensure she can swallow it properly.”
Tobirama closed his eyes and already knew how this would go down. Another one for the list of things he’ll have a hard time forgiving himself. But he had to. He had to. Slowly, he rubbed a palm over his face. “Very well,” he replied, seeing reason in this too, of course.
They sat in silence for another two hours, almost. During the time, your writhing had picked up slowly - from a flex of your legs’ or arms’ muscles to weak movement. Slowly but surely sounds were picking up too - huffs or grunts at first, but later on there were quiet groans and incoherent mumbles mixed in. You never opened your eyes. Hashirama ended up increasing the heart’s seal’s intensity somewhat, all of which Tobirama watched while he monitored you diligently. He felt absolutely crushed in every sense - physically, emotionally, mentally. But sleep never came to his mind. The least he could do was be here with you, even if you might not notice it. But if anything were to happen - he’d be here. He’d sleep when you did. A little. And then continue to work once his condition allowed it again.
“It’s time,” Hashirama announced finally. “Her blood pressure has been sinking continuously and the damage that is caused by the withdrawal ultimately is becoming too intense now. I don’t want to push her beyond this.”
What a relief. Tobirama already had procured the next dose of the leash previously. Administering it now wouldn’t be as simple as the last times, however. With a heavy sigh, he rose to his feet, as did Hashirama.
“Y/n,” Tobirama spoke softly, placing a hand on your shoulder. “Can you hear me?” It was worth a try. Though he had little hope for it.
And he was right. Your reaction was lackluster, only a low groan as your head trashed to the other side.
“I’ll open her jaw,” Tobirama instructed his brother, numb now. Devoid of any emotion but to simply do this swiftly. “Hold her head.” Hashirama nodded and already seized each side of it with his hands, which you responded to by uttering yet another tormented moan.
Tobirama’s heart was hammering in his chest again - at this point he had just waited for that to happen, and his breathing was nearly as raspy as yours when he took another step closer to seize your jaw in the dreadfully familiar way again. Once more utter horror overcame him for having to do this to you. It grew worse when he felt how you were trying to trash your head to the side, but your movement was pitiful at best. “It’ll be better soon, Y/n, I promise,” he whispered brokenly, though he knew you couldn’t hear him.
Tobirama was tormented by how easy, compared to last time, the pressure behind your mandibular bone made it protrude, enabling him to shift the grip slightly to force your mouth more open with his thumb on your chin. A shiver ran down his spine. The hand that held the vial containing the leash shook slightly. You protested louder in what definitely was an even more painful groan, a sweaty, trembling hand reaching for Tobirama’s on your jaw. “Don’t,” he pleaded instantly, desperately.
Don’t make it worse.
Swiftly, he poured the leash into your mouth and shut it quickly before you had a chance to cough it back up. With pressure on your cricoid, the constriction of your airway was forcing you to swallow it before the breathing trouble became too uncomfortable. It was brutal, Tobirama knew. But it was the safest way to ensure you really drank all of this. Immediately, he and Hashirama withdrew from you.
You stilled completely.
Time for the next act of this nightmare, whose end was approaching way too fast and yet not fast enough.
_______
As per usual, Tobirama ensured you’d sleep for the terrible psychotropic effects of the drug. However Hashirama noted it was better to use a sedative this time, as they needed to avoid any use of chakra on your strained body for now. He agreed reluctantly - by this point he knew it couldn’t interfere with the leash’s effect, in any way. Besides, Hashirama also stated he needed to monitor you further - especially watch for signs of chakra overload as well as controlling the seals. Likely, your cardiovascular situation will improve enough to be stable on your own.
Tobirama nearly shouted at his brother when he used the word ‘likely’. If he thought it was just likely then they had gone too far. And just as likely Tobirama felt like smacking his brother for sheer stupidity right then. He didn’t of course, ultimately and begrudgingly yielded to his brother's expertise. However it didn't stop him from sternly reminding him about how fragile and susceptible your mind was due to every sensation heightened -
"Be careful," he warned, rather, threatened. "Do not agonize her unnecessarily."
Hashirama rolled his eyes. "I'm doing what I have to. No more and no less, brother." Despite everything, he remained calm.
It provided little comfort, but he saw no option but to add it to the list of necessary things they had to do to you. Tobirama’s frustration was palpable at this point.
Nonetheless, all of this just showed it was time to rest, as much as he hated it. Sleep was inconvenient, but needed alas. And once more he found himself at your shared home, alone. Luckily enough, the exhaustion was great enough to claim him quickly after he had laid down, but the forlorn feeling was seeping through every crack. With every passing day, this house felt colder and lonelier. The burden he carried strained him to a point where numbness was spreading inside of him. He felt spent, at the end of his wits. His sleep was dead, dreamless.
And a little longer than he wanted it to be. He woke again with a startle - his gaze sought out the clock mounted on the wall right away. It was somewhat past midnight. Damn. You should be awake by now. He rubbed a hand over his face to wipe away the last traces of sleep before he washed himself, got dressed and teleported to your room right away.
_______
The withdrawal was one of the worst things you had ever gone through. It easily was on par with some of the torture you had suffered.
It had begun as you remembered it - you became weaker with each passing minute. Then came the dizziness. Your consciousness slipped in and out. An ache settled into your bones, your muscles, your nerves, that was all too familiar - dim, at first, but it increased more and more. It wasn’t long before it felt like molten lava rolled through your veins, alongside your nerves, through your lungs with every breath you took - you were being burned out from the inside slowly, cruelly. Split apart and yet not dying.
You wanted to scream. You wanted to writhe away, shake it off, rip your skin off, do anything - but you couldn’t. Something held you suspended in darkness with proverbial chains winding around you tightly, everything else was black nothingness. Nobody to hear your screams, nobody aware of your agony - all by yourself in a hell that wasn’t ending. At first, you were trying to tell yourself this was what you wanted: you had to give Tobirama - yourself - more time. Otherwise they’d run out of this damn murder drug before they could recreate it. But this? This wasn’t worth living, was it?
Had the chains around you not seized your throat, you’d have begged for someone to kill you. End your misery.
I’m sorry, Tobirama.
Forgive me.
You circled around these two sentences over and over again while the torture wasn’t ending.
Peripherally, you had been aware - at first, when the withdrawal had begun to set in - of someone’s chakra inside of you - Hashirama, you realised, dimly. It had made sense. Tobirama would need to work. Try as much as you wanted to, but you couldn’t work around the dizziness and the pain that had been roaring through your systems at that point already. And just as lightly you realised something was done to you - but no more you could distinguish what it was. It eased the pain, somewhat. Briefly. You wanted to thank him yet couldn’t form words; either it was exhaustion or another side effect of the withdrawal. Were it not for your dreary state you knew you’d be overrun by panic due to the helplessness. You simply had to trust those around you.
But that had gone out of the window piece by piece as the symptoms became worse and worse. You felt your grip on yourself losing as pain became your only reality.
Suddenly though, it was all over. The pain was gone as though it had never existed. You nearly screamed in joy.
And another terribly familiar sensation kicked in.
The nightmares.
They had given you the next dose of the leash - you had lived, you dimly realised. Part of you wanted to cheer, but of course you wouldn’t get to do that. With all you had just gone through, this time around, the bizarre horror trips you suffered from during the first phase of the leash would gladly take inspiration from now.
But the usually crystal clear scenarios were muddled images at best - red hot iron being pressed into your flesh agonisingly slowly. Darkness, loneliness. It still was frightening - but not as precise as it usually was. Perhaps the leash had done permanent damage to your brain. Who knew. In a twisted, grotesque way you were thankful.
Your perception of pain had become extremely skewed.
Someone else was lingering, though. A presence. They were watching you - you knew - and you didn’t like it. Nothing came from them, but you knew better than that. Presences like this greatly unnerved you. It couldn’t mean anything good.
Soon, you, the nightmares, everything - faded into dull sensations only. After that, a warm nothingness overtook you and you finally were allowed to sleep.
When you opened your eyes again, the room was dimly lit by the nightstand’s lamp. Someone was touching your hand - you turned your head slightly to find Hashirama next to you. Still, you had blink several times before you truly recognized him; truth be told you felt like a giant rock had rolled over you. Distantly you were aware of the fact he was monitoring you - his chakra was but a shadow in your system, so light, almost unnoticeable. Something else was bothering you though - but you couldn’t put your finger on it. Missing - something was missing. Quickly, you realised what it was: your chakra. You couldn’t feel your chakra at all - the sluggish, tardy sensation it had become was gone.
Instantly, panic settled in and your breathing picked up. “I- I can’t,” you began, voice raspy. Moving your jaw was as though you had to force it through jelly or something equally gooey, the muscle wouldn’t quite obey you. But that didn’t matter. Your chakra - where was your chakra? You wanted to get up, but your arms wouldn’t obey you - your pulse picked up rapidly and breathing was getting difficult again.
Hashirama shook his head, “We had to seal it off, don’t worry,” he explained swiftly, already pulling the blanket down with his free hand. In utter horror you noticed there were seals drawn not just on your chest but your arms as well. Your heartbeat was through the roof by now as your panicked gaze kept looking everywhere. He put his thumb, index and middle finger right on your sternum where the center of what you recognized belatedly was a rather complex chakra seal was located. His fingertips glowed for a moment, then he twisted his wrist.
A second later, your beloved, useless chakra was back.
You gulped and swallowed past the lump in your throat, trying to even out your breaths again. He put the blanket back over you again and regarded you with a smile, though you could easily tell his warm gaze was burdened with worry. Unlike Tobirama, Hashirama wore his moods on his sleeve. “How are you feeling?”
You blinked a couple times again, still reeling from the sudden burst of panic. Then, after a deep breath, “I’ve… been better.” To put it lightly.
He frowned sympathetically. “No doubt about it.”
You didn’t want to wait any longer. “How long… how long did we gain?”, you desperately hoped this exercise had been worth something. At all.
His smile became more mirthful. “Six hours.”
Your eyes widened slightly. Frankly, you were unsure if you should be happy or horrified by that. To you, it had felt like an eternity. And yet six hours was a huge gain on what the interval had been before. A good result. The suffering - had been worth something. Your gaze wandered to the ceiling, nodding to yourself slowly. Trying to convince yourself of this at least.
“Y/n,” Hashirama began again, now more somberly. “I won’t lie to you. I don’t know how long we can keep this up. It took a toll on you, which I am sure you are feeling right now.”
“You can say that again,” you croaked weakly, yet again testing the movement in your legs. Your toes wiggled a little. It was an achievement. Then you sighed and in what pretty much was a snap decision, you spoke up again. “Promise not to tell Tobirama,” you muttered, already feeling guilt taking a stab at your heart.
Hashirama’s frown deepened. “Promise.”
“The withdrawal is… All of this - it’s about one of the worst things I’ve ever gone through.” you shared, no more than a mere, haunted whisper. You couldn’t look at Hashirama. “And by now, I think I’ve experienced a lot.”
Hashirama hummed deeply.
“I don’t want Tobirama to know that. He will refuse to keep stretching the interval, b-but-”
“You wanted to say it.” Hashirama finished your sentence before your voice broke. “It’s alright.” He squeezed your hand lightly. “I’d wager he knows, truth be told.”
A sob broke past your tightly squeezed lips, but you nodded. Of course he’d know. You couldn’t imagine him not checking in while all of it had happened. Most likely some of your plight had gone through to the outside. And the first withdrawal had been a harrowing experience for all of them.
“You’re stable, though,” he spoke up again in a less grieved tone. “It’s no surprise you’re feeling rather weak right now. The withdrawal is quite… violent towards the body.”
“So long as it’s worth… as it’s worth all this,” you gulped, nodding. To yourself, mostly.
Hashirama smiled warmly again. “The time gained is invaluable. I’m afraid we can’t do much to heal you, yet, though.”
Just as you wanted to reply you witnessed a flicker in the shadows near the door. That had stopped startling you a long time ago - well, when you weren’t in the middle of a breakdown, that is. You couldn’t help but smile with how Tobirama lurched over instantly. His white hair was tousled, glistening even - he must've fallen out of bed into the bathroom and then teleported right over. A quaint sight - the man was punctual, sharp and kept in perfect shape.
Hashirama regarded him with raised eyebrows as he stood by the other side of your bed, mustering you through narrowly-lidded eyes with a distressed expression. He already took a breath to speak up, but you beat him to it with a quip that’d surely answer his question. “That’s fine Hashirama, I won’t be able to get up either way and Tobirama won’t need to lecture me about moving too much anymore.”
Tobirama shut his mouth immediately and scrunched his face like he had just been forced to drink some extremely bitter tea and regarded you with a look as if you had been the one to make said tea. Already, he crossed his arms. For a hot second, you worried you had gone too far - doing this in a high stress situation like this always carried a risk. But Tobirama knew you. And you knew him.
“You’re doing better.” He simply stated then, unimpressed, just raising an eyebrow.
Hashirama raised his arm to hide his face with his sleeve slightly as a chuckle shook him.
Tobirama’s hawk-like stare shot to his brother briefly before it settled back on you. “Enlighten me with some context, maybe?”, he then demanded, only slightly exasperated. He was holding back, you knew.
“I just explained the toll the withdrawal has taken on Y/n to her,” Hashirama supplied, having regained his composure again.
Tobirama regarded him with a concerned look then instantly, dropping the unnerved demeanour. “Toll?”
“Exhaustion mostly, Tobirama,” you decided to intervene before he worked himself up more. The way he gripped his black shirt again was telltale. “I can’t do more than wiggle my toes. And my fingers, maybe.” You tentatively tried it out - they stretched just fine. “What a relief,” you murmured ironically.
Tobirama’s frown grew softer again as he watched you test your limits and the corners of his mouth turned down slightly. “Y/n,” he whispered, and you could feel how much more he wanted to say.
Hashirama cleared his throat again. “We’ve painted four seals on you, in total,” he spoke up again, catching your attention immediately as he then explained how they strengthened your heart and blood pressure. “Now that you’re awake again I’ve brought down the support from them to a very low level because you’re doing so well. The exhaustion is from the immediate reaction mostly. I won’t deny, you did suffer damages there - but none of them great enough to warrant additional concern.” His gaze wandered to his brother while he spoke, well aware he was listening just as intently. If not more. Tobirama’s frown had deepened again.
You nodded. Medical jutsu were really not your forte, but you did know quite a handful of seals and could already guess as to how these worked. Which also told you they had been scraping the proverbial barrel here: normally, these things would be easily managed using chakra based methods, normally. “I surmise you’re using seals because I’m constantly teetering on the edge of chakra overload still with how I keep getting additional… problems…”
Tobirama snorted. “Some of which you wouldn’t have if you rested.” Hashirama chuckled again, this time at your expense. You took it in stride. Tobirama continued then. “You’re right though. We must avoid it as much as possible.” Hashirama nodded to that.
“Ultimately, should your condition worsen during withdrawal, we’ll have to overstep that boundary. But I’m very much trying to avoid it. It’s additional stress you don’t need right now.” He did sound quite serious about it. You gulped. Chakra overload was nothing to sneeze at.
But then again you felt like you had just about dipped into every kind of torment available as of now. What’s one more?
Hashirama ended his monitoring then and gently slipped away, both inwardly and outwardly. “I’ll get some rest now. You’re stable. And while I know Tobirama is very, ah, adamant about this-”
“Anija,” the growl came instantly.
“-you really need to get as much rest as you can. We’ll see to support you more using any non-chakra based means which is going to entail some medications. I’ll… see you soon again,” he finished with a sorrowful smile that managed to soothe you and at the same time filled you with dread.
You swallowed. “Thank you, Hashirama.”
He nodded and left the room quietly.
Tobirama sat down on the side of your bed as soon as he had shut the door, taking your hand in his and stroking your skin gently with his thumb. “How are you really doing, Y/n?”, he inquired, the timbre of his voice gentle enough to let his concern truly show.
You gave him a brave smile. “I’ll manage, Tobi,” that, you knew. You knew you had to. Though you felt like breaking into tears when you said it.
You didn’t fool him for one second. His breath caught momentarily; his grip became firmer and you felt his chakra graze over your network, covering it warmly. You couldn’t help but sigh contently when he did; the sensation never failed to comfort you. But his expression remained distraught, to say the least. He knew you well enough - what your avoidant answer meant. It was kindness not to inquire further. And maybe protection, too. You didn’t want to speak more about this. Or think of it.
It’d come around again soon enough.
“You’re not taking good care of yourself,” you chided then softly. “I’d ruffle your obviously wet hair, but I can’t right now.” You cracked a weak smile.
He clicked his tongue. “It’s been a pretty intense day, Y/n,” he countered evenly.
“I think I can count the days you left the house in such a hurry on one hand, Tobi,” you replied, not bothering to keep the sorrow down any longer. It saddened you to see how all this took its toll on him - your problems, your condition. Of course you’d do the same for him in a heartbeat - and just as well, you were aware what your sight made him feel. But it just hurt.
His eyebrow arched up again slowly. “When I’ve got such urgent business to tend to, I will run the risk of being seen with wet hair, but I’ll face it bravely,” he countered sarcastically, eliciting a little chuckle from you. There was no changing his mind anyway. His lips drew into a lopsided smile of his own, too.
Finally, you sighed quietly. “Don’t let me keep you, then.” You dreaded being alone. But it couldn’t be helped.
His smile faded and his eyebrows furrowed again. “I can stay, Y/n.”
“No, you can’t,” you replied with more resolve, “Because then all the time we gained won’t matter. Soon. Just a bit longer.” You weren’t sure if you were telling him or yourself that.
He must’ve picked up on it, because his other hand grasped your arm too and stroked over your skin gently while his gaze had turned decidedly sorrowful. “I’ll be back soon to check on you,” he promised quietly, but you could guess on the fierceness behind that. It eased your budding sense of dread, somewhat.
“Thank you,” you whispered, “Can you…,” you swallowed, blinking. The request made you feel so silly - shameful, even. But you couldn’t help it.
He tilted his head when you didn’t finish your sentence. “Yes…?”
“Can you please leave the light on? And… don’t close the curtains,” you finally whimpered meekly, avoiding eye-contact now. This alone was a confession to what you could only perceive as weakness due to your recent trauma, but you couldn’t deny how much you needed it right now.
Tobirama’s mien turned more sorrowful, but he nodded. “Of course, Y/n.” He sat on the side of the bed a moment longer and simply shared your connection - a gesture you were immeasurably grateful for. It was you who ultimately nodded and decided it was time he left - despite the ungodly hour.
“C’mon, then.” You tried another brave smile. _____ author’s notes: Some explanations: 'cardiovascular' means pertaining to the heart and the blood vessels, i.e. blood pressure and essentially keeping the body's organs supplied with nutrients, and more immediately important, oxygen. 'sepsis' is a real thing! it's when the body's own immune system causes such a strong reaction in the whole body to an infection it starts to damage its own organs. since reader isn't infected, it's 'like' sepsis. there are also real life complications of different diseases that can, in fact, cause a sepsis-like condition! 'capillary leak' is something that ties in directly to sepsis. because of the body's immune response, the blood vessels start to 'leak' fluids into surrounding tissue. every had an infected  body part? splinter in your toe, hand? got red, big, swollen? well, that's the same thing. it's not good when the body does it everywhere! but it does make sense because by 'opening' the capillaries, the white blood cells can get out and do their job in the tissue. hooo boy, that was a lot more than i ever thought i'd explain, oopz. thank you so much for reading as always!!!
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sunnikos · 3 years
Text
Christmas Eve Headcanons 1
Hey hey guys! I wanted to do some headcanons officially for the first time! I don't really like Christmas that much but I figured this would still be fun to write and relatively simple. I hope you enjoy!
Next
Mei Hatsume
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She would make decorating tech
Calls them her babies
The house would be covered in decorations
Like she managed to get a bot to wrap the floors
When you said something about christmas spirit
She immediately let you know that these were just prototypes that she would sell
When they were ready of course
She said the real christmas was, “developing these babies”
You rolled your eyes at that
“What about me?” you feigned offense
“Yeah of course I love you but look at them!!” She said shoving tech in your face
“Tch” you looked away with a smile “whatever, just get ready”
“What why?”
“I'm taking you to dinner”
She waved you off and went up to get ready
Yes, she tried to sneak in some of her babies into the restaurant
To promote them
And of course, you saw it coming
You had done your research with this place
It was a no tech type of deal
You were searched
This prevented you from using your phone at the table
You had an amazing night with Mei
And came home to find she had a baby of hers play your favorite song when you arrived
You teared up at this and danced to it with her in the yard
No one could take this night from you
Hanta Sero
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This man
He drew on his tape
And put in in every corner of the house
Then decided to put on a sexy santa costume 
You had taken the liberty of calling him a ho ho ho
You made him take down all his tape
He did manage to pull one on you though
Your mans hung like spider man for the high ceiling with a mistletoe in hand to steal a kiss
Had he not fallen before locking lips you would have been thoroughly charmed
“You took my breath away, and my balance too!” he joked
“I didn't do anything, you made a fool of yourself all on your own”
“Words can hurt” he whined, putting a fist to his chest in an exaggerated motion
After you had made him change his costume, he returned in an ugly sweater that said “dear god!” with a picture of an old woman toppled by some reindeer and a christmas hat
“Nice sweater” you bit
“You too” he retorted
“This is an amazing sweater I'll have you know!” you grinned gesturing the gingerbread house
“Its basic”
“I can't say yours is going to be well received by the other volunteers”
“That sounds like a personal problem”
A performative gasp leaves your mouth, “Hanta!” you berate
“They should be happy we're helping them serve food on christmas evening!”
“Well you did say you'd be there”
“And I will be, in this sweater”
“Okay fine! I concede!”
“That's right! We're gonna serve those strangers food so hard!” he declared
“Whatever you say” a smile ever prominent rests on your face as you say it
Tooru Hagakure
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You had Tooru had just been cuddling on your couch by the fire
Listening to christmas music
But the moment was rudely interrupted by a loud beeping sound
“Shit, the pies!” Tooru exclaimed
She rushed out of your arms to the kitchen
“It smells amazing babe, but I do wish it hadn't ruined the little moment we had going”
“Sorry,” came her sheepish voice “I wanted to surprise you…”
“Well you seem to have surprised yourself instead” you smirk
“That may be true but look!” she holds up a pie, “pie!”
You lean forward to get a whiff
“It really does smell good Tooru”
“Then come eat it with me!” she exclaims, “I made two just for this occasion”
“”But we haven't had any dinner” you laugh
“We don't need dinner..! We have piieeee”
“Fiiiiine” you buckle
“Yaaay!”
So, there the two of you were
Eating pie straight from the tin it was baked in
Neither of you could think of a better way to spend your christmas eve
Mashirao Ojiro
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You had to pry him away from the tv
Introducing him to the hallmark channel was a bad idea
He sat there for hours!
Didnt even sleep the night before
Sure christmas spirit is nice, but being healthy is nicer!
You lead him to bed
“You go sleep” you scolded him
“But I wasn't finished with the movieee” he whined
“Its 11 in the morning and you haven't slept since you started watching hallmark movies”
“Ppshhh I'm fineee just let me finish ittt”
“No, sleep. Now.”
“Ugh.. okay..”
After he snuggled his second pillow and drifted off to sleep
You went to the kitchen to start dinner
You had secretly invited his brother, who had a wife and kids to bring with him!
You got started on the main course
By the time Shiro woke up you were taking things out of the oven and had already set the table
“Smells delicious babe! But why so much food?’ he asked suspicious
It was at this moment, the doorbell rang
“You've been watching so many hallmark movies, I figured id give you a little hallmark moment” you say, making your way to the door
Twisting the knob to reveal his very own brother!
It took a second to click for him
He just woke up cut him some slack
When his brain caught up, he went to greet his brother and nieces
“Been a while huh Mashirao?” 
“Yeah, how've you been?”
“Well! And even better now that your partner has invited us into your home!” he leaned in to excitedly whisper, “it's so nice to be here!”
“Ah! Thank you” and said scratching the back of his neck
So far so good
The rest of the night was spent catching up
Mashiro couldn't thank you enough for this evening
Next
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rae-sparda · 3 years
Text
Dangerous Liaisons
A/N: Hey guys, we're baaaaaaaaaack with another chapter. Yaaay! I hope you like it! Let me know what you think.
Chapter 3 - A meeting with the Devil's Mother
She knocked on the door feeling her undead heart thudding violently against her chest, her fear palpable. Soon enough, the door opened and Finn greeted her, his impassive face shifting to one of nearly happy that she was alone. “You’re alone. Wise choice.” She side glanced at him, resisting the urge to not roll her eyes. Yeah, like I had a choice… Gulping down her fear, she fully entered the room, her gaze falling between Esther’s hands.
“It’s only sage. I’ve spelled It so we can talk freely without fear of being overheard. That would be all, Finn. Thank you.” Dismissing her old son, the two soon were alone, and Katherine tried hard not to bolt after she heard the door closing.  “You must have a million questions for me, Elena. Please.” She gestured towards the sofa and the vampiress gulped, slowly making her way before seating and cursing the Salvatores for making her basically scream that she wanted to die.
“How are you alive? I mean… Are you a ghost or…?
“Not exactly. When I died the witch Ayana preserved my body with a spell. She was a close friend of mine and an ancestor of your friend Bonnie.” Katherine widened her eyes, surprised at the revelation, but knew her doppelganger would never let any information pass. She was as cunning as she could be and still pretend to be innocent. The nerve.
“So that’s why only Bonnie and her mother could open the casket?”
“They complete the Bennet bloodline. I drew power from them and their ancestors with me on the other side.”
“You’ve been on the other side for a thousand years?”
“Nature’s way of punishing me for turning my family into vampires. But there is a way for me to undo the evil I created.” Katherine was caught off guard, her surprise showing openly on her features.
“You’re gonna help us kill Klaus, aren’t you?”
“One thing at a time, Elena. For now, I simply need your help.” Her nervousness was only growing with each second more she passed beside the Original Bitch who was speaking so freely and seemed confident that Elena would help her. No surprises there, they all wanted to kill Klaus. “I understand Rebekah shared the story of my family. How I upset the balance of nature by turning my children into vampires.” Esther said while lit up a few candles on top of a paper that had a few things scribbled down, but Katherine couldn’t decipher what it was from where she was standing.
“She said that you did that to protect them from the werewolves.” By now, Katherine was more than happy to have force shared information with her shadow self, otherwise, she would have stuttered so much, the witch would have seen something different on her.
“It’s true. But in no time at all, they began to feed on human blood.” She poured water into a cup while saying that with such disgust that made Katherine ball her hands into fists to not say anything. They became what they were because of her! How could she not see that they were only children and she was the responsible one for that mess? “They ravaged the town with no remorse. Eventually, Niklaus turned against me.”
Getting closer, the vampire doppelganger still didn’t see how Elena would help her. “How are you gonna kill him? He’s immortal.” She nearly scoffed, but the Mikaelson’s matriarch was so serious and gazing at her intently like she was trying to read her soul.
“It will take time, magic, and your assistance.”
“What do I have to do then?”
“My children believe I’m holding this ball to celebrate our reunion. But in truth, I’ve gathered them together to perform a ritual. The first step requires the blood from the doppelganger.” Katherine widened her eyes and stiffened, feeling overwhelmed. She was going to be discovered and Esther would kill her in a heartbeat. “Only a drop. Its essence will be in the champagne toast later on this evening. Will you do it? Or shall I?” She asked revealing a silver dagger and holding it to her in a twisted way of offering her the chance to help her.
To not raise suspicions, she took out her glove and hold the dagger, pinching her finger before turning it towards the cup full of something she didn’t want to think about. Giving the dagger back to Esther, Katherine quickly put her glove back on, feeling nervous. Would it work? “Elijah is more suspicious than the others, so he may need more persuasion. But they must all drink at the toast in order to be linked as one.”
“What do you mean linked as one?” She was regretting her decision to come at all and was fearing for Elijah. This wench of a woman wanted to kill all her children? With no regrets?
“You said yourself Klaus can’t be killed. But tonight’s spell links all my children together so that if one goes, they all go.”
“What?” Her voice wavered and she suddenly felt the urge to vomit. She couldn’t believe that Esther would do such a cruel thing. And they used to say she and Klaus were the monsters...
“I love my family, Elena... But they are an abomination. I betrayed nature when I created them. It’s my duty to kill them.” Katherine didn’t even have to pretend to be shocked, since she was too struck to pretend another reaction and simply left in a daze.
“So how was my mother?” Elijah’s voice was enough to make her feel her dead heartbeat skyrocket and she gulped, taking a deep breath to calm herself in his presence, the urge to simply spill everything eating her.
“Intense.”
“And for what reason, she needed to speak with you in private?” His reaction seemed nearly funny like he was loving her reaction, from what; she couldn’t tell. Getting two flutes of champagne, the vampire doppelganger forced a smile on her face, glancing sideways involuntarily, meeting Esther’s eyes who showed a coldness even when she smiled at her and Katherine felt she couldn’t breathe. “Elena. Should I be concerned about my mother's intentions?” She snapped her head towards Elijah, glancing at him like he was the most beautiful person she had ever seen. Approaching him, she smiled, getting his flute and turning around to run, exchanging the flutes, and whining at the force he used to stop her. Frowning, she pouted and gave him her flute, her eyes hardened.
“No, Lijah... You don’t have to worry about mother dearest.” He gave her a side smile, approaching the doppelganger slowly, making her walk backward until her back collided with the wall.
“So, it’s true then? She’s forgiven Klaus?”
“It’s true.” She forced a smile on her lips, and Elijah let his eyes linger on her sinful lips.
“You forgot that I can always tell when you lie, Katerina.” Opening her mouth to reply, she was interrupted by the sound of clinking glass.
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Waiters are coming around with champagne. I invite you all to join me in raising a glass. It provides me with no greater joy than to see my family back together as one. I’d like to thank you all for being part of this spectacular evening. Cheers.” She raised her glass and the doppelganger internally panicked. She had switched the wrong flutes. When Elijah got his flute, Katherine simply arched her brows, facing the older vampire mockingly.
“Since you’ve discovered me...” She dryly retorted, stealing his flute and drinking it in one go, just like the rest of his siblings. Before Elijah could try to question what the hell was she doing there, she flew trying to find Stefan to go home. After a few moments where she hid from Elijah, she finally found the younger Salvatore... Only, he wasn’t alone and was discussing with his brother, calling the attention of anyone that was leaving the ball.
“Okay, Stefan, nice one. You surprised me, bro. Good for you, but don’t think for a second that that fucking whore wi-”
“Damon, what are you doing?” Katherine bit out, grazing her teeth, wanting more than anything to break his neck again and burn his body just for fun to see him die. He barely turned when he heard her voice, his anger aimed at his brother.
“Oh, shut up, you little devil. Go away.”
“Damon, please! This isn’t you, what is wrong with you?” Scoffing he turned around to face her and gave a wicked grin, making her frown. Katherine gave a step back, but Damon's vamp sped at her, throwing her at the pool, and everyone stood shocked to see what happened, while she screamed and let herself fall into the water, internally screaming and killing Damon in a million different ways. Not even a second later, she was out, shivering and coughing, her gaze darting around wildly until she was hushed and hugged her savior.
“Go now, mister Salvatore. You’ve done enough this evening.” Elijah dismissed him and heard Katherine’s growl. The only thing keeping her from killing Damon was the way the Original’s body was engulfing her, and he should be thankful for this mercy.
“Elena... I can get you home.” Stefan’s voice was controlled and his rigid posture revealed he was not sure how to react.
“I’m fine... I’ll be okay... Elijah won’t let anyone hurt me, Stefan. You can go.” He nodded, only glancing at her once more before flashing out after his brother and Elijah took her to his bedroom to let her dry herself and use Rebekah’s clothes, much to her annoyance. When they returned to his bedroom, Elijah opened his mouth, but Katherine stopped him, saying they should go to her hotel’s room. “We can’t talk here. It’s not safe.” She whispered and he frowned, both vampires escaping through the windows. After a few seconds, they were inside her room and she bit her lip, messing her hair and telling him about his mother’s plan to kill them all.
“So, she wants to kill us all... And you linked yourself with my siblings... Why, Katerina?” She frowned and scoffed, crossing her arms.
“I have no idea if it worked. I might be a doppelganger, but I am a vampire.”
“Well, there’s only one way to find out.” She gulped and before she could reply anything, he disappeared, leaving her alone.
@umaficwriter @kalijahx @imgoingtofreakoutnow
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keyofjetwolf · 3 years
Text
Hi would you like some rage about She-Ra season 5?
If the answer is no, please don’t click below. For real. Really for real. I’m not looking to piss in anyone’s Cheerios. I think if you were satisfied (or better!) with the show, that’s fantastic and I envy you. As I have always said, love what you love. My opinion is mine and means precisely nothing beyond that. If you think you may be even a little bummed reading about how someone didn’t like it, skip this post and go on with your day, I promise you’re not missing anything worthwhile.
IN A SIMILAR VEIN: If -- before, during, or after reading -- you feel inclined to argue with me, I am begging you to please not. I cannot begin to tell you how much I don’t want to be argued with on this right now. I’m still extremely disappointed and cranky, and I’m not much in the mood to have a measured, reasoned debate about my feelings. Much as my opinion has no bearing on you, your opinion has no bearing on me, and as I’m giving you the option to opt out, I’d appreciate the same courtesy. If you want to write your own post on your own blog, go nuts! Just please leave me out of it. I PREFER TO BE CRANKY AT TELEVISION SHOWS THAN PEOPLE.
The rest of you, come on down. I don’t promise coherency, but I DO promise a lot of stuff said in all-caps!
---
Hello! Thank you for joining me! We watched the remaining few episodes of She-Ra last night! I hated them! Yaaay!
What did I hate? OH HO HO MANY THINGS FRIENDS MANY THINGS. It’s not just stuff from the final couple of episodes either, I want to clarify. It’s the entire final season, settling on last few episodes like the freshly fallen snow on your front lawn that some frat boys decide to pee their names into. By the time we’d gotten to these last episodes, there was really nothing left for me but confirmation of all the shit I’d come to hate. SO THANKS I GUESS FOR PROVING ME RIGHT
Which isn’t to say there was nothing to enjoy in the final episodes! There was!
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5. She-Ra’s Triceps. GET BUFF GIRL. I LOVE how Adora and She-Ra look similar, but very much not identical. Adora’s no slouch when it comes to physical stuff, but they go the extra mile to show us how She-Ra is that much more. HOW RARELY DO YOU GET TO SEE A WOMAN WITH MUSCLES. I’ve been nothing but impressed by the ways the show drew the line between Adora and She-Ra, and however I felt about its handling of other elements, it didn’t let me down here.
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4. Sometimes A Family Is A Twink, A Lizard, And Their Imp Baby. I don’t have further commentary on this, and I need none.
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3. Welcome Home, Daddy. THIS WAS SO SPECTACULAR. Glimmer had, I would argue, the most realized arc in the story. It was so gratifying to see this as a culmination, not just of her own struggle with her magical power and ability to harness it, but her willingness to do what needs doing, however personally difficult. That was a stumbling point Angelica could never overcome, continually trying to micromanage and protect Glimmer rather than trusting her and recognizing her for the asset she was. Also though, more succinctly: YESSSS BITCH
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2. A Shanty! THIS WHOLE SCENE WAS PERFECT NO NOTES. Just the right blend of silly and sincere, a genuine delight as even brainwashed Mermista had had enough of Sea Hawk’s shit, AND so much more clever than it seemed at first glance. THIS IS THE ONLY VALID HETEROSEXUAL RELATIONSHIP IN SHE-RA I AM NOT TAKING QUESTIONS AT THIS TIME
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1. Shadow Weaver. SHADOW FUCKING WEAVER. What a complicated, fascinating character, bar none the most interesting in the entire series. I do think they pulled their punch right at the very end with her, but I AM capable of remembering I’m watching a kid’s show, so I can only get so disappointed about it. Mostly, she remained a beautifully morally complex character, and she was one of my greatest personal delights from beginning to end*.
(*) Boy did this show have one single solution for mommy issues though.
THAT WAS ABOUT IT. So let’s get to why we’re all really here, and that is MY SCREAMING OH MY GOD WHERE DO I BEGIN
Nah, I know exactly where to begin.
GLIMMER AND BO JESUS MCTRISKET I AM GOING TO EXPLODE AND SHOWER THE UNIVERSE IN THE SHRAPNEL OF MY HATE
WHY IS THIS HAPPENING
WHERE DID IT COME FROM
HOW CAN I SHOVE IT BACK IN THE HATEFUL SPEWHOLE THAT SIRED THIS BULLSHIT
WHY WHY IS THIS HERE WHY IS THIS IN MY FACE WHERE MY EYES HAVE TO SEE IT FUCK ME SIDEWAYS THIS IS THE MOST UNNECESSARY SHOEHORNED IN HET ROMANCE FUCK A DOODLE NONSENSE I HAVE EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE TO BEAR WITNESS WHAT IS IT DOING IN THIS OTHERWISE EXPONENTIALLY GAY CARTOON
WERE YOU PANDERING TO THE STRAIGHTS
WHY ARE YOU PANDERING TO THE STRAIGHTS I ASSURE YOU WE ARE COVERED BOTH HISTORICALLY AND FICTIONALLY
ALSO NEED I REMIND YOU THAT YOU HAVE ALREADY ACHIEVED HETEROSEXUAL PERFECTION
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NO MERMISTA NO WE ARE NOT ALL JUST LIKE OKAY WITH THIS
Oh my FUCKSTICKS, I could’ve rolled with so much more that angers/disappoints me about She-Ra’s ending if every single thing I feared about this hadn’t proved true.
AND. IT. WAS. SO. UNNECESSARY.
What exactly did pairing off Glimmer and Bo do for the story? For their characters? THIS IS THE PART THAT’S STABBING ME IN THE DELICATE WEBBING OF MY TOES. Because -- COME WITH ME A MOMENT SWEET ANGELS -- because I was under the impression that, oohhhh, I dunno, FRIENDSHIP WAS A HUGE FUCKING IMPORTANT PART OF THIS PASTEL HELLSCAPE
Is it, She-Ra? IS IT REALLY???? When not one but BOTH of your childhood friendship pairings end in romance? When you close out your five seasons with romantic relationships so painfully and specifically sown across the character landscape like an overzealous gardener turned loose on the world?
You know what you have at the end? DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID
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THIS ISN’T A BEST FRIENDS SQUAD IT’S A DOUBLE DATE THAT NEVER MERCIFULLY ENDS
And again I ask, Why?? What was it about Glimmer and Bo’s relationship that needed them to become romantic? What was LACKING that this was the solution?
THIS IS WHAT MAKES ME LOSE MY GODDAMN SHITTING MIND I AM SO FUCKING DONE WITH THIS INSIPID MYOPIC TRASHBAG OF A CONCEPT
I believed She-Ra’s entire premise about friendship, I believed it wholeheartedly, and I’m so PISSED that at the close of day, narratively, it swept it all the bin. AND YES, YES IT DID, otherwise, WHY IS IT THERE. It serves no story-based need, it serves no character-based need, it has no NEED at all. So is it meant to be a “reward” to Bo and Glimmer for winning the war, as if their lifelong friendship were not reward enough? Is it meant to show they’ve walked through the flames and emerged with stronger, deeper bonds, because of course a relationship can only go SO deep without fucking. There’s no avenue to Romantic Relationship that doesn’t simultaneously point to something lacking in Platonic Relationship, AND I AM FURY PERSONIFIED
I am so tired of this. I’m SO TIRED of this.
And it didn’t need to be there. They didn’t even TRY to give us a good reason. That may be the part that makes me the angriest. Of COURSE they hook up romantically, of COURSE their platonic love would grow into “more”.
Fuck YOU, She-Ra. I thought you were better than that. YOU WERE SO CLOSE TO BETTER THAN THAT
THEN THERE WAS CATRA
I get it, I guess. I mean, I think it’s shittily written, but I GUESS. Honestly, end of day, I just don’t care about Catra enough to really get too angry about it, particularly when as I’m so fucking incendiary over something much more important to me. But it’s also the show’s greatest creative failure, and even if I HADN’T gotten angrier at other choices, it would’ve still cut its own legs out from under it.
Catra’s “redemption” was weak and sad and did a disservice to her and everyone involved. She started self-centered and shitty, and she ended just as self-centered and shitty, only we’re fine with that now. She learned nothing and changed nothing, but also nobody ever demanded it of her, so I can only lay so much at the character’s feet. The problem is ultimately creative, where I think Noelle Stevenson got lost in her own love of the character, and somewhere along the way forgot that if you take them out that far, you have to be willing to walk them the long road back. Compare to poor Glimmer, for fuck’s sake, whose greatest sin was being desperate enough to be manipulated by the character whose entire fucking DEAL is being THE manipulator. How much shit did she get for that? How long was she punished? Meanwhile Catra becomes THE Big Bad for a while, nearly unravels all of reality in a fit of supreme lesbian angst and self-pity, directly leads to the death of the planet’s ruling monarch who also happens to be GLITTER’S MUM and DIRECT FRIEND TO THE SHOW’S HEROES, but that’s fine, you did one sorta good thing one time and even though it was also wrapped in a thick film of self-pity and a final fuck-you at Adora, all is forgiven!
Speaking of, Adora suffers just as much from stunted growth. From the beginning, her thing was control, unable to free herself from the responsibility of everything and everyone. What did we have at the end? Adora as the only one who could save everything and everyone. Yeah, they kept asking what it was SHE wanted, BUT THEN SHE NEVER ACTUALLY GOT TO CHOOSE. NOT activating the failsafe wasn’t an option for her, and while she wound up not having to die to do it, even that wasn’t her choice in the end, it was Catra’s. (Don’t even get me started on her nth hour “You love me?” fuckery when it wasn’t once for one single second shown to be a question of such life-turning importance.)
All of which could be interesting! That Catra and Adora went through all this, came so far to wind up right where they started? AWESOME. LOVE IT. FUND IT. But really all that happens is nobody minds now that Catra’s a self-involved little shit and tee-hee another Best Friends Squad Mission being bullrushed by Adora within five minutes of ending the last one isn’t that funny?
I can’t even dig much enjoyment out of Adora and Catra as a trope subversion (if one of them was a male, their romantic involvement wouldn’t have even been a QUESTION), because the show lost its fucking mind with romantically pairing everybody off in the final five minutes. WHICH BRINGS ME RIGHT BACK TO MY PREVIOUS SCREAMING SO I’LL STOP THERE.
There was other stuff, of course. I think it was a TERRIBLE decision to spend the last season with the focus split between the two groups of rebels, and writing half the cast into brainwashing. I think the Nettossa and Spinnerella stuff was wasted and lacked any punch at all because the show for some reason or another couldn’t be bothered to let us spend any time with them to care. The waste of Scorpia and Mermista especially (to people named Jet Wolf who are me) was fucking CRIMINAL. Speaking of Scorpia, wouldn’t her showdown with Bo have been so much more poignant if they’d had really any kind of interaction before that moment to build from? (Sure, it’s Scorpia, so if you’re going to sell the lack of context with anyone it’s her, BUT ALSO.) Hey, remember Huntara? No? NEITHER DID THE SHOW.
All my details aside though, MY MANY MANY MANY DETAILS, what kills/rages me most about She-Ra was how so much potential from the first four seasons was just flushed away. Whether it was the creative team shooting itself in the foot or corporate pressure and rushing from Netflix, I don’t know. I don’t CARE. This is the show I was given, so this is the show I have, and that kind of fall after that kind of potential doesn’t just irritate me, it makes me SAD. I wouldn’t be this disappointed if I didn’t think it could have been -- WAS -- so much more.
Time will tell if I can separate out the final season from how much I loved those that came before it. I like to hope so, because I did love it intensely and loved whenever I got the chance to really dig in and talk about it.
WHATEVER ELSE I SUPPOSE I WILL ALWAYS HAVE THIS
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Again please remember that I am not at present looking to argue or debate my feelings and opinions. I get to just be angry and disappointed, as a treat!
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ddaehyeon · 4 years
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-- ♡; WORDS ARE NOT ENOUGH ; SEO WOOBIN
anon: woobin fluff please 🥺
pairing: seo woobin + you
genre: fluff
word count: 1.1k
a/n: yaaay finally finished working on this request! i still have few more on my inbox. i'll make sure to get to work on them soon hehe. also, i'm gonna work on my prompt list after this for a drabble game. anw, anon, i hope you enjoy this one! ^^
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There was a comforting silence enclosed in the confines of the living room, only the faint breathing was the harmony heard. Even without words, a smile graced both lips.
Your head was resting on your boyfriend’s chest, his soft heartbeat came to your ears like a music—something you can listen to for the next few hours, days, weeks, a lifetime even. Fingers were interlocked as both of you settled on the sole couch in the room. Figures both covered by a blanket you brought. It was your favorite blue blanket.
The television in front of you displayed a poster of Howl’s Moving Castle with a play video button drew on its center. It had already been on the screen for almost half an hour with the movie ending and begging to be played again.
However, Woobin had already said no when he momentarily released you, only to get the remote control and put the appliance on rest. Few words were heard from him as he once again linked your hand with his. An arm slinging in your shoulder. Your head on his chest, his chin on the top of your head. There was a sense of comfort lying on his heart, it was pleasing. He liked it more than anything else. “You know what, I really love being with you. Like I love love you, Y/n.”
Found on his lips was a curve that made his countenance lit into a faint glow.
“Ah, Woobin please…” You pouted, moving your head so you can look at him. A whine left your lips before another sentence broke out of your lips, “Stop it.”
Yet, even with those, you never hated his words. It was just the way his words reach your heart seemed to give a foreign sensation: refreshing and new—extremely satisfying. Your heart would miss a beat only to go with rapid knocks right after.
Woobin chuckled, shaking his head. “Well, come and make me stop then,” he said, his index finger pointing his lips. The message was obvious, yet it seemed like you declined to offer him what he wanted.
You extended your hands, giving his lips a light tap instead of moving your own lips to lock with his. It stayed there until you sensed the curve of his lips changing from a sweet smile to a playful smirk.
Wrapping your hand with his own, he freed his lips from the cover you made. Slowly, he adjusted his sitting posture, closing the gap between the two of you in the process. It wasn’t enough for him though, so he leaned closer and closer until your lips were only separated by a few inches. “You know what I meant though.”
The room was well ventilated, yet you could feel a heat spreading on your cheeks. Despite that, you didn’t take a step backward. Accepting the challenge through tilting your head nearer. Even with a weak heart, you attempted to mask your growing nervousness through feigned bravery laced on your sentence. “And what if I make you?”
 “Then—” Woobin’s word was interjected when you planted a swift kiss on the corner of your lips. He fanned himself using a hand, now your former situation transferred to him. “Whoa there, miss.” A chortle before he repeated the same sentence. He can never get used to your unpredictable acts; it would always result in messy responses from him. His face was slightly flushed, such an adorable reaction from the person you adored the most.
His reactions gave way for your courage to continue building up, a stair that you were able to easily step onto. Now it was you who was challenging him. “Then?”
“God, Y/n.” Woobin was locked on the abashment zone which made soft chuckles slip past through your lips.
 “You asked for it though.”
“And I didn’t expect that you’ll actually do it.”
A triumphant grin decorated your lips, contented of the small victory. “Serves you right.”
“Yeah, yeah,” the other mumbled defeatedly as he rested his head on your shoulder.
Once again, both of you were cased in serenity caused by silence. Each other’s presence filled the gaps that provided sparks of enthusiasm. Woobin’s hand found your hand once again, this time his thumb was pleased through rubbing your palm affectionately.
“I have something to tell you,” Woobin said, breaking the silence.
“Hm?” You inclined your head to his direction, making your head rest on the top of his. Your eyes were fixated on your hands, waiting for him to continue.
“I love you so much and I’m willing to do anything just for you.” The way each syllable flowed out of his lips wasn’t the usual. Not playful, not teasing—it was soft-spoken, graced with sheer sincerity and endearment. It was like it was a string that was able to link two hearts. A connection that seemed foreign, it was a safe haven that hid behind each other’s existence.
 “Woobin,” you called. “You know I love you more than you can ever imagine.”
Your answer gave him that relief, his heart settled on a steady beat as the comfort coursed throughout his body. Though he didn’t let the sensation overwhelm him.
Someone that can put his heart at ease, someone who he can be so comfortable to be with, someone overflowing with love that made him love himself better, someone who his eyes were to look for each passing second, someone he had always longed for to be locked in his embrace—it was you, the partner he had been searching for. You were the only one he became so willing to pour all his love to. Words can never be enough to describe the enormous fondness he had for you and frankly, he was quite disappointed by his inability to put his love into word.
How come love couldn’t fit into one sentence?
Maybe because it is more than a word?
It is a feeling that continuously grows.
Even with this inadequacy, Woobin attempted to offer his love through words uttered in a gentle tone. “Y/n, you mean more to me than you’ll ever know.”
Woobin was aware that it wasn’t enough, so a tender kiss was planted on your forehead before he allowed your head to rest on his chest, arms finding its way back to your shoulder. A hand stroking your head, his fingers sliding on your soft locks. “Always remember that.”
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luna-jaden-shadow · 4 years
Text
Rock The Bed
Request - Omg yaaay for Logan smut! Can it be something where the reader is purposely wearing a short skirt, real cute, and is teasing Logan, bending over to look down a balcony or something? Little teasing things like that. And Logan cANT take it and there are others around and he’s just baffled
Smut
Warning - SMUT,  
Pairing - Logan Howlett X Female!Reader
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You were such a tease, Logan had decided as he watched you. The whole day you had been avoiding him and when you did see him you had your lip between your teeth and your eyes all over him no matter where you were. He was tired of it by the time that noon rolled around. Countless he tried to get you alone anywhere to talk to you, to tell you just how mad you made him. 
It didn’t help that the whole day you were in his favorite outfit of yours. You had a short skirt that reached the middle of your thigh and a long sleeve shirt that just so happened to show off your shoulders. The whole outfit also hugged your body in the best kind of way that showed off every curve you have. He was pissed, to say the least. 
Right now was even worse as he walked into your shared room to see you out on the balcony. The sun was just starting to set so the colours drew out your figure even more. With a growl, Logan walks out on the balcony. The way that you were leaning shows off all of the back of your legs, any more and you’d be showing off the lace panties that Logan also loved to see you in.
Walking up, Logan stands beside you, his hand on your waist. You jump a bit, flashing him a smile when you look at him. “Hey, Logan, what’s up?” You tilt your head to the side, your hair moving with you. Logan takes a moment, his eyes trailing up and down your body as his hand moves from your waist to your butt. With a harsh squeeze, you’re upright and staring at him with doe eyes. 
He loved and hated it when you played innocent. “Well if you must know, my baby girl decided that she was going to be bad and tease me all day.” He growls in your ear, biting your ear lobe. You hold back the gasp and moan that tries to surface. “Wearing a short skirt all day.” His hand trails under your skirt and up your thighs. “Playing innocent.” Your breath hitches and he smirks. “And then she goes and stands out on the balcony like she wants everyone to see me making her scream.”
A soft gasp of pleasure leaves you when his hand touches your entrance outside of the underwear. “Soun-sounds like a problem L-Logan.” You gasp out as he slowly starts to rub you, just enough for some friction. “W-What are you gonna do to her?” Logan tilts his head slightly. 
“Well, I would love to punish her, for everything that she’s done today.” Logan leans his head down, dangerously close to your lips. “What do you think?” A moan leaves your lips as you nod. “I can’t hear you, bub. What do you think?” He repeats himself, pressing against you so that you’re back is against the balcony. 
Another moan leaves you. “I-I think you sh-should.” Logan bites your jawline as you answer. 
“Yeah? You want me to punish you? For teasing me all day, leading me on?” You whine when he pulls away from you. 
You nod, now turned on as you press your thighs together. “Logan, please. I’m sorry, I was bad today.” That was all he needed as he leans down and pressed his lips to yours roughly. You wrap your arms around his shoulders and his hands grip your waist in an almost bruising hold that just turns you on more. 
Logan pulls away, kissing rough, open mouth kisses down your neck. Your head falls back, moaning as your hands start to now pull at his hair. “Let’s go inside, doll. While I’d love to show everyone how bad you were I’d rather have you to myself.” He pulls you inside the room and pushes you to the bed. A giggle leaves you as you fall back onto the bed. Your shirt rides up a bit as Logan pulls off his own shirt and crawls on the bed. 
“Logan.” You moan out as he bites down your neck, hands running roughly up and down you until he finally pulls at your shirt. It takes a moment before it’s removed and Logan cuts your bra off in one motion. 
He shushes you before you can yell at him. His lips trail down your body, hands working on your skirt. Gasps and moans leave you as he takes a moment to bite and suck at your breasts. You became breathless under him, scratching at his back as he removed the rest of your clothes. The rest of your clothes were ripped off more than anything before he moved away from you as a whole. 
You whine again from the lack of contact, watching him remove the rest of his own clothes. “You got something you want to say, sweetheart?” Logan leans back down, just far enough to where he’s not touching you. He was driving you crazy now.
“I’m sorry.” You pout, sticking out your bottom lip when you feel him move closer to you. “Please do something.” You plead, your hands on his shoulders. Logan smirks before lining himself up, thrusting into you. You moan, almost yelling when he fully enters you. He doesn’t give you a moment before he’s thrusting in and out of you, a bruising grip on your waist. 
You started to yell out his name as he got rougher, the back of the headboard tapping the wall behind it. No words were said between the two of you directly, just you calling out his name like a prayer. He loves every second of hearing you call out to him, watching you wither under him as you draw closer and closer to your release. When you get to your climax you’re yelling his name, scratching hard enough to draw blood but he just heals the moment that it’s there. 
Logan releases not too long after you, staring into your eyes with now nothing but love as he moves to lay down beside you, his hand tracing the slowly forming bruises on your side. “Sorry.” He mutters and you smile, panting as you try to catch your breath. You press a kiss to his lips gently as he pulls you closer to him. Being a tease was worth it in your book.
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wykart · 3 years
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Thanks so much for the tag @daniclaytonsfuturewife and @sapphos-disciple!!
Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 8 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome work!  
I have done literally no original works (yaaay) so here are the favourite things I have worked on this year! Most of my fan works were done at the beginning of the year since school really bogged me down, but I’m getting back into it! More things on the way…
1) The Prodigal Daughter
I started writing this in December 2019 and finished up early this year. It was my first long fic (at just over 100k) and it might seem a bit dated reading back on it now but I’m still really proud of it and so grateful for all the love it received! Considering I wrote it before series 12 was completed… I think I was a bit prophetic.
Also here’s a pdf with illustrations :p
and the front + back covers I posted
2) The Thirteenth Doctor Fanzine Vol. II piece
I went all in with this one as my first fanzine contribution and it’s the largest piece I’ve created to date. Very proud of how it turned out and so grateful to be featured alongside so many incredible artists and writers! 
3) Cranking out a series of fics during S12
(This one is cheating). After every episode, the discord server was alive with screaming and speculation. I was at home a lot over the summer holidays (before the pandemic, I should have gotten out while I still could) and I wrote some fics set during the course of S12. These were great for improving my writing with (mostly) short pieces where I could really milk the angst of S12.
You can find the series here 
4) The Timeless Child illustration
Particularly proud of this one because it is an extremely rare example of me starting something, leaving it for like 8 months, and then actually finishing it. I think I did good on the colours :)
5) Horizon Zero Dawn illustration
As I do every year, I replayed Horizon in 2020. It’s such an incredible game world and I’ve spent more time in it than any other. It’s my favourite escape! Also to my Doctor Who fans, check this game out, it’s one of my absolute favourite sci fi stories! There’s a movie with cutscenes + gameplay here. 
6) Doctor Who Companions illustration 
This one gets a place because it’s my most popular post of the year and it was interesting experimenting with a different art style and actually drawing poses. I love all these girls so much :))
7) The Modern Prometheus
This one is very, very incomplete, but it’s sitting in my drafts at over 100k (messy, messy) words and there are a few chapters up already. It’s a retelling of the Timeless Child’s story, delving into the world of a very ancient Gallifrey. I continue to be the only person over here in my corner of loving (to hate) Tecteun. I plan on seriously reworking the story but I am still really proud of my work on it so far!
also I drew a cover, which I’m proud of because I barely draw landscapes
8) RYCBAR
This one is also incomplete, BUT I am more than halfway through so this one counts as 2020 :p It’s a few fic ideas all smashed together that I finally, finally got around to starting recently and it’s alllll about Clara. 
And lastly! I am super grateful for the Doctor Who fan community. I disappeared in the middle of the year for a while, and 2020 was a very, very strange year, but I have thoroughly enjoyed interacting with you all and your incredible works of art! 
I’m tagging @jolivira @sunshinedaysforever @braddersbangerz and @not-mandip
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writingcroissant · 5 years
Text
Just Friends: [Part Four]
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader
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Just Friends [Masterlist] here!
Summary: A friends with benefits story - It started as an arrangement between you and Bucky - a wildly questionable arrangement between friends - and it resulted in a confrontation with someone from your thoroughly buried past and therefore a long overdue mission to kill.
A/N: I'm really hyped for the next part, there will finally be some long-awaited info about the reader's past and it's gonna be so angsty and so good yaaay!!
Also: If you want to be tagged - SEND AN ASK!!!
Warnings: angst, PTSD, mild smut (just a lil bit), language
***
Looking back, you fail to recall what brought you here, what drew you to his door and forced your knuckles to meet the hard wood in a quiet knock. Your breathing grows shallow and your fist clenches at your side as you wait for a sound to arise behind the locked door, the thought of leaving before he opens up running lapses in your mind.
It's been a bad night - worse than usual. You spent the majority of the night sitting on your bed, fully clothed, a glass in your hand, and tears leaking from the corners of your eyes, your skin already sore from all the times you angrily wiped your hands over your face to get rid of the reminders of your weakness.
Any form of sleep seemed to avoid you and continued to do so when you also had to listen to Bucky's agony in form of screams and yelps of pain, which the empty hallways carried to your door like autumn wind carrying leaves.
You felt like throwing a tantrum, wreak havoc in the room you call your home, until it's unrecognisable. You wanted to throw your glass against the wall and watch brownish liquid stain the flawless white wallpaper. You wanted to rip open your pillows, your blankets and sofa cushions, tip the furniture, maybe throw your fist through a wall. You wanted to go berserk, make a lot of noise to cover up his sounds, because you hate listening to him, hate listening to the tortures of his past without the slightest ability to help.
He deserves some sleep, he deserves some rest, but then again, so do you. You deserve some peace and quiet, not necessarily in your room but in your head. You deserve to feel at ease for once without the chaos threatening to burst open your skull. It's only fair, considering there wasn't once a time in your life you didn't feel on edge.
But as hard as it might be to accept, life isn't fair. Life sucks, it sucker punches you in the guts when you least expect it and there's no force in the world that could change what destiny has planned for you - that's something you understood at a very young age, as it always seemed to be the only explanation that's even remotely soothing - the explanation telling you that it's not your fault, that there's no way you could've done something differently to escape this hellhole, that it's simply the way your life was meant to be led. It's written in the stars. The dice fell. Destiny sealed the deal.
And so you just kind of force yourself to live through the pain, to listen to his pain, because life isn't fair and allowing your heart to ache for him won't make the nightmares go away - it won't make anything go away, because it is what it is, and what it is is cruel.
Around midnight the sounds stopped and you've been silently suffering into the lone darkness of the night ever since, always playing with the thought to go see him, go seek some company despite your willingness to go through this alone. You've done it so many times before, when did you get that dependent on the distraction Bucky provides?
Maybe he finally found some rest. You'd hate yourself for selfishly disturbing the one time he actually manages to sleep peacefully, and there's not even a way to be sure if he's still in his room. You know about his habit to visit the kitchen, the roof, or preferably the gym whenever his mind once again decides to torture the crap out of him. So maybe he woke up and left ... the long period of silence seems to support that theory.
It's three in the morning when you decide to risk it despite destiny, and despite the gym, the roof, or the kitchen. Your own thoughts eat you alive, screams and commands never shutting up, ghosting through your mind like poison and telling you that going to see him only works as proof of the weakness you never really managed to overcome, the weakness no one ever managed to beat out of you - inner weakness.
It's driving you to insanity and you need some form of distraction. So, despite yourself, maybe you do know what drew you to his door after all.
His eyes are tired as he opens up, but it's not the 'just-woke-up' kind of tiredness - it's more the same mental exhaustion you know all too well yourself. Exhaustion that subliminally creeps through every minute of every day and worsens whenever you're alone, your limbs tired and yet your mind refusing to give in to sleep's compelling allure, even though every cell in your body longs for it, screams for it like a toddler throwing a tantrum.
You watch as Bucky's face lightens up barely noticeable, slumped shoulders inching closer to their usual position as he takes you in with a hint of confusion in his eyes.
"Hey Bucky, this ... I'm sorry, I know what time it is, I just-"
He doesn't wait for you to finish a sentence you don't even know the ending to yourself, but takes a step to the side and nods into the dark room, beckoning you in with a smile on his lips.
You offer him a copy of his own smile and pass him with relief in your step. Your eyes travel through his room very briefly, and you smile at the moonlight breaking through walls of darkness like a sledgehammer, as Bucky didn't close his curtains - you assume he's already had his fair share of darkness. The last time you were in here was when you accidentally fell asleep on his bed, after a quite similar night like this one, a night you'd much rather forget. You woke him up that night, ripped him out of his well deserved sleep with the aftermath of your fucked up mind.
You clear your throat and fiddle with the hem of your blouse, clenching fists around the fabric and twirling it tightly around a finger until it's wrinkled. You don't sit down when he offers you a seat, as you half expect to be kicked out as soon as you open your mouth.
"Do you- ... I know this might sound weird, especially in the middle of the night but do you think we could ... you know." You shrug with your gaze darting to his bed, and chew on your lower lip until you taste blood, only hardly managing to hold his gaze as you wait for an answer.
A part of yourself hates you for selfishly asking him such question after he clearly just suffered through a new nightmare, but another part, a bigger part, doesn't miss the glint in his eyes, telling you he needs distraction, maybe needs it just as much as you do.
He watches you for a moment, carefully studying your appearance with a wary look in his eyes.
"Did you drink?", he asks in a soft voice, no hint of judgement in his tone as his eyes finally come to a rest on yours. You find his soft gaze shutting out a few of the voices in your head, even though it's an insignificantly low number.
"Irrelevant", you all but huff, shrugging the cardigan off your shoulders and letting it glide to the couch's backrest, only partly because you're warm.
He shakes his head. "I won't sleep with you when you're wasted", he states matter-of-factly.
You feel your insides burn. You're sober enough to know that you need this, otherwise you wouldn't have come here in the first place.
"S'not in the rules", you mumble stubbornly.
A slight laugh falls from his lips as he buries his hands in the pockets of his sweats and lowers his gaze to the floor for a moment, his prosthetic buzzing quietly into the night.
You practically watch him think, watch the wheels turn in his head. Maybe he's thinking about the rules you came up with when this whole thing, this arrangement, started. There aren't many of them, as the absence of rules seems to be the entire point of sleeping with a friend.
The main rule, and therefore pretty much the only one of actual importance, is to stop as soon as either of you catches feelings and/or a third party gets involved. You remember putting a lot of thought into this, which resulted in a couple more rules, the main purpose of which is to support the 'no feelings' thing. There's the no kissing rule, for instance, which turned out to be the hardest to obey, and yet - both of you seem to agree on this - a crucial detail to keep things between you nothing but casual. Every other rule has pretty much been broken the very first night you slept together and therefore turned out to be of very little use, anyway.
"How much did you drink?", he asks, suddenly looking a lot more awake than when he opened that door.
You close your eyes and rub a hand down your face. "I'm as good as sober, Bucky." You huff and drop your hands to your sides. "Please just- ... let's just do it."
One of his eyebrows quirks upwards, and he steps closer to you. The ounce of desire you thought to see flash up in his eyes vanishes to make room for a wary look of concern, as though he can see right into your overstrained mind.
"Why? Did something happen?"
You shake your head, restless eyes darting through the room in avoidance of his gaze. Blaring voices mixed with cries of pain and the characteristic sound of a snapped neck echo through your mind, and you feel yourself drown in a throbbing chaos of noises while standing in the middle of a perfectly quiet bedroom.
"I'm fine", you insist, inhaling deeply through your nose, and straightening your spine in the process, trying to collect your thoughts.
You manage to keep your eyes trained on Bucky, as you wait for a reaction that doesn't seem to come. He's just standing there with his hands in his pockets and proceeds to carefully watch your every move, and so you take a few steps closer to him and raise your hands to his chest. You scratch your nails down his body with just enough pressure to not break his skin and watch as he holds his breath.
You feel his warmth seep in your palms and from there straight through your body, spreading like a wildfire you wouldn't want extinguished even if it meant your death. You move your lips to his throat, and his muscles tense when your breath brushes along his skin in the words you dare to speak with the urge of desperation other than confidence.
"Fuck me, Bucky", you mumble, tongue dancing along his pulse point. Your grip on him tightens as the voices grow louder and your tone takes on a pleading sound. "Please."
His breath washes over you as he forces the air out of his lungs in a pointed exhale. His hands land on your hips with convinced determination and he urges you backwards a few steps until your back hits the wall and a groan rips through your throat at the sound of plastic buttons landing on the floor due to Bucky's hands practically ripping open your blouse.
You shrug the fabric off your shoulders and fail to fight a grin at the sudden fire in his eyes. His hands come up to your sides and you feel the pressure of his fingertips pressing into the flesh over your ribcage before you find yourself facing the wall. His fingers entwine with yours for just a moment before he moves your hands to the wall and hesitates in his movements.
"Y'sure you're not drunk?", he mumbles, voice thick with desire as he closes a fist around your skirt and keeps his eyes trained in the fabric as though he's trying to decide what to do with it.
You urge your hips back, arms outstretched and ass nudging his hand. "M'sure", you mumble urgently, sucking your lip back in between your teeth as he let's go of your skirt after simply pushing it higher over your ass, and instead moves a hand past your panties.
Your head falls forward and a sighed moan brushes your lips as his finger draws tight circles into your sensitive flesh, heat increasing between your legs as you feel his foot nudge them further apart. He steps closer to you, his other hand still on the wall, entwined with yours as he urges your bodies together. You feel his firm chest press to your back, cool metal kissing the length of your arm while his fingers continue to tug on every remaining thread of your sanity.
"Let me help you", he suddenly growls right next to your ear, deep voice and hot breath sending shivers down your spine.
You feel your mind grow clearer and yet somehow foggier. The chaos of voices recedes and you find your head clouded with a new, a better kind of chaos - a chaos of desire, and moans, and jolts of pleasure shooting through you as two fingers enter you in a swift motion, soon starting a steady rhythm of thrusts while Bucky's teeth graze the soft skin of where your neck meets your shoulder.
Your refuse to catch up, enjoying the sudden absence of your thoughts, enjoying the silence and the warmth he pumps through you. And so you just hum the question your tongue fails to put into words, as it's seemingly glued to the roof of your mouth.
"Y'don't have to tell me who it is you need to kill", he mumbles, fingers picking up their pace, while his entire front remains tightly pressed to your back. He sounds sincere, but as realisation clasps your heart in a firm hand you feel yourself closing up once again, a breath leaving your throat in a huffed moan and your spine straightening from it's slightly arched shape.
Bucky seems to notices your growing restraint, too. His unoccupied arm sneaks around your waist and you feel cold metal spread on your lower stomach, keeping you close to his body.
"No, listen to me", he mumbles next to your ear. "Y'don't need to do it alone."
It's been an entire week since you talked about this in the gym, maybe you hoped he'd let it go if you didn't bring it up.
Your eyes open and you release a breath, chest now pressed to the wall along with your forehead as you feel like the ground is shaking beneath your feet, threatening to throw you to your knees any second - or maybe it's you legs that start to shake.
"Do we really need to talk about this now?", you all but whisper, desperate to hold on to the heat in the pit of your stomach, the wetness between your legs. You close your eyes once again and softly thrust your hips backwards to meet his hand, as you desperately try focusing every bit of concentration on the pleasure, the emptiness of your head, the ease.
His grip on you tightens and his hand comes to a sudden stop, fingers three knuckles deep in. He feels your body shiver, breath faster than usual as you seem to try and dig your nails into the wallpaper.
"Promise to take me with you", he urges once again, lips pressing to your ear.
You release a frustrated moan and try pulling him in, hips stirring against his hand, but you feel him draw back a little with every move you make until only the tips of his fingers remain softly sheathed.
You groan, unwilling to give in just yet. "Or what?"
Within the blink of an eye his warmth disappears, leaving you cold and empty and alone as you lean against the wall, eyes remaining closed with a barely audible, soft sigh to pass your lips and brush the wall, nose grazing the wallpaper as you face your defeat.
You don't bother turning around just yet, knowing you'll find him standing a few feet away with that annoyingly determined look in his eyes, telling you he wants to help, wants to care.
At any other situation you would've laughed at this, because he's a fucking genius - knowing exactly what he wants from you and how to get it.
"So what, we won't have sex until I promise to take you with me?", you all but snort, pushing your body off the wall with little restraint and brushing your skirt back into place before you finally turn around. You place your hands on your hips and narrow your eyes. "That's blackmail."
He lifts a shoulder and leans against the wall on the opposite side of the room. "S'not in the rules", he repeats your words from earlier, using your own weapons against you.
You scoff. "Withholding sex ... that's such a relationship thing to do."
He says nothing and you purse your lips. "You do realise I could just go and find someone else, right?" You shrug. "Maybe Sam's free tonight."
You believe to see Bucky's expression darken ever so slightly, but he remains stoic, not even blinking. "Go ahead."
For a moment you just stare at each other, your eyes throwing daggers whereas his manage to withstand your somewhat murderous gaze with ease, until you sigh and let your shoulders drop along with your poker face.
"You're a dick."
He raises a brow. "For wanting to help you?"
"For not letting it go."
"Why is it so hard for you to let me in - let me help?", he asks, brows knit together and fists clenched.
"Because I'm alone for a reason, Bucky", you hiss, jaw clenching. "And I've managed. I've managed for the whole twenty-eight years that I've walked this planet. But fine, if you want to come and try saving a damsel in distress, then come. I don't even care anymore."
Silence drops and suddenly there's a tension hovering between you, you can't quite identify. You hold his gaze with a hard look in your eyes as he steps closer once again. He's persistent, you'll give him that.
"What can possibly be so terrible that you feel the need to hide it from me?", he mumbles with urgent seriousness in his tone. "I'm the fuckin' Winter Soldier, (Y/N). I think I know what it means to suffer, what it means when life brings you to your knees over and over again. What makes y'think I wouldn't understand?"
You force your arms down your sides and clench your fists. "You're not my boyfriend, Bucky", you all but breathe through clenched teeth, watching as his expression grows to mirror yours, hardness taking over his soft features until his jaw is a hard line.
"I know that", he states with a hint of annoyance in his tone, brows pulled deep into his face. "I don't need to be to care for you."
You refuse to talk, lips pressing into a firm line as you hold his gaze like a petulant teenager.
His eyes soften ever so slightly as a thought seems to cross his mind, a thought that feels like a sucker punch to your guts. "Is it because of your PTSD?"
You feel your breath hitch in your throat, heart cramping at the words no one's ever said out loud, not even Nick Fury, or Natasha - who are pretty much the only people in this entire building to know, or so you thought.
He seems to read the question right from your eyes.
"(Y/N), don't forget who you're talking to."
He offers you a smile but you take a step backwards, averting your gaze to drill holes into the wall to your left, arms tightly wrapped around yourself as you try slowing you heartbeat back to a normal pace. Suddenly there's a small voice coming from deep within you, telling you this has been a mistake. You never should've let your guard down this much. Your first mistake was to come into his room the night before Tony's party.
"Okay", you say without looking at him. You clear your throat and hug yourself a little tighter, as you feel like you'll fall apart any second, sudden coldness creeping up your bare limbs. You release a controlled and yet shaky breath through softly parted lips. "You can come, we'll leave tomorrow night but please ... stop talking about it."
You feel his gaze on you, your heart heavy in your chest as you pick up your semi-intact blouse and brush the hair out of your face with haste in your movements.
His voice once again fills the room when your hand steps in contact with the door knob.
"You can stay", he mumbles, tone soft, and warm, and threatening to lull you in if you listen to one more word. His hands are back in his pockets, eyes carefully watching as your hand cramps around the golden handle.
You feel nausea rest in the pit of your stomach, your mind back to the restless state you came here with. The heat between your legs receded by now and you're certain that you'll fall straight back into a nightmare the second you dare to close your eyes.
But you can't find it in yourself to look him in the eye for longer than necessary, let alone sleep in the same bed as him, and so you open the door, offer Bucky a brief smile that's far from reaching your eyes, and step back out into the abandoned hallways, leaving behind the warmth every part of your very being longs for.
Read [Part Five] here!
***
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sleepyfan-blog · 5 years
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i just sent that ask and then i thought of something truly cursed. edward isaac nevin poly
IBVS is by @onebizarrekai
tagslist: @anxiety-is-married-to-depression @angelofthehalfmoon @trainwreck-of-skeletons @hisame-amadashi​ @therandomskelekey
“Are you really sure that we should do this?” Nevin grumbled, a small frown appearing on his face as he glances at his almost-boyfriend.
“Yeah. I mean, the worst thing that could happen is that he rejects us, because he doesn’t want to date more than one person at a time.” Isaac responded, shrugging a little “It’ll be awkward for a little while, sure. But it’s not like he’d openly mock us for asking.”
The shorter teen sighed a little, rubbing his eyes with one hand for a moment, before answering “Okay - you’re sure he’s going to be at the park right now?”
“Yeah, Geno’s not at the doctors or in the hospital, so Edward usually takes him to the park at this time of day for fresh air and to be able to run around - at least as much as that poor kid can run. To play, like a normal kid, without video games on the request of their parents.” Isaac responded with a nod “I found that out about a week ago - he’s really sweet with his kid brother.”
“I bet - he’s really protective of Geno.” Nevin responded with a small smile, understanding the brotherly protective instinct. Even though he knew that his protectiveness irritated Drew sometimes, he just… He didn’t want the other to get hurt anywhere near as badly as he had. The two teens walked more or less h and in hand as they made their way over to the park in companionable silence.
~
“Hey Error, got a minute?” Isaac called out, faux casually. He was trying not to be nervous - he’d been lucky that one of the two people he had a crush on liked him back - would he be lucky enough for Error to like him back too?
“Yeah, sure. What’s up? Anything that the SI club needs to meet for?” Edward asked, glancing over at the both of them before walking up to them, watching Geno swing himself higher and higher.
“Isaac and I would like to date you. We’d also be dating each other.” Nevin blurted out, deciding that being blunt would likely make a bit more sense than trying to beat around the bush. Communication was important, especially in a polyamorous relationship, from what he’d been able to research.
Error went a very bright shade of red and stared at them for an uncomfortable eternity (… Or, more likely, thirty seconds or so) and he glanced at Ink “I… Is that… You both really are…? Interested in me like that?” His voice was small and hopeful.
Ink nodded, blushing brightly enough for his freckles to be clearly visible “Yes. Nevin and I would like to go out with you and each other at the same time.”
Edward let out a sigh of relief, glad that he hadn’t misinterpreted what Nightmare’d said “Yes! I like you both a lot and I was trying to figure out if that was just because I had a crush on one of you and was very much wanting to be just good friends with the other but I… I’ve had crushes on multiple people at the same time before and I felt… Greedy… But! But I know that it’s not… I just…” Don’t ramble, you’ll stop being cool!
“It took us courage to try to ask each other out… Then work out how we’d try to ask you out… So you’re not the only one unsure about all of this…” Nevin murmured quietly, smiling warmly up at both of his boyfriends (?).
“I… Uhm. Okay. Hey uhm… Can I… May I… Kiss you two?” Edward asks, his eyes lighting up hopefully as he watched them.
Isaac and Nevin grinned and nodded, walking up to Edward and kissing him on the lips - Nevin first, then Isaac. They also hugged him, one on each side of the self-proclaimed school king.
The jock did his best to respond in kind to the light kisses, and hugged the both of them back tightly. This… This felt right, and his heart fluttered happily in his chest.
Then something small tackled him from behind, causing Edward to very nearly lose balance “HUG PILE TIME!” Geno shouted happily, wanting to hug his big brother too, since a couple of his friends were.
All three teenagers laughed a little and nodded as Edward scooped up his baby brother “Hug time! It’s time to Squish Geno! C’mon Ink, Nightmare! He’s un-squished!”
“Wait? Noooooo!” Geno cried out dramatically flailing his arms as his big brother’s new boyfriends hugged both of the Quinton brothers close. He hugged them back happily after a moment.
“… Do you wanna stay out here for a little while longer, Geno?” Error asked, smiling warmly at his baby brother.
“Hmm… Yeah. We don’t hafta be back until mom texts you, right?” Geno responded, eager to go back on the swings.
“Yup.” Error nodded.
“Yaaay! Push me on the swings ‘till I start flying again? Pleeeease?” Geno asked.
“Sure thing. Although Nevin’s probably better at pushing than I am. He’s got super strength.” Edward responded, sending a half-hopeful glance at the shorter teen, who nodded, knowing that Geno had an unusual ability too.
“Hmm… Okay! That’s really cool.” Geno decided after a moment.
Nevin smiled a little and followed the kid over to the swings, helping the other build up speed on the swings before rejoining his boyfriends. They talked and watched Geno run around until they were texted to come home.
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