#I Fucken Swoon

[pers-books]

Girl, please!

She's so fine, she really blows my mind!

Happy birthday to this precious pumpkin, my fave lil’ bean.

#Jemma Redgrave #Happy Birthday Jemma! #I fucken swoon #Kate Stewart #DI Jill Raymond #Bernie Wolfe #Professor George Grey

[leatherbookmark]

an idea that i think would be funny: a fic in which nhs wants to Do Something. he is genuinely very bad at it and is flying by the seat of his uhhhh underpants all the time. i repeat: no hidden genius powers. he is not very smart, and struggling all the time. however, because he’s also god’s favourite little comedian, somehow some things happen to have good results, some have bad results but people magically don’t notice, and in some cases his squirming actually helps someone. he is incredibly stressed and tired all the time and nmj is like “what the fuck, he’s not even doing anything” and, yes but he’s Trying (and failing, and it takes energy too)

#i'm talking like. nhs wants A and B (unrelated; some randoms) to get along but in the process he makes A think B is their enemy #therefore A conjures up a wonderfully idiotic slapstick-level assassination plan that nhs now has to stop #but in the process of THAT he somehow helps B voice their feelings for C #it's like. a pouch filled with deadly poison falls from the ceiling aimed precisely at B's head but they lean in to kiss C. danger avoided! #but wait! C seems surprised. do they... not...? B steps away about to apologize for their misunderstanding -- but they step on nhs's hand #and almost fall! only for C to catch them and confess THEIR feelings! #(nhs's hand was there because he wanted to snatch the poison pouch away and dispose of it) #stuff like this. i think it would be neat #idk if it needs to be said again but just in case: i am not calling nhs stupid with the intention of offending him. it is vitally important #for me to have idiot representation. his brain shows the highest immunity to academic/cultivation knowledge lqr has ever seen BUT he can #stay at his rooms and paint for SHICHEN UPON SHICHEN without even noticing the passage of time! isn't it cool! #(no. this is how you get a young master nie who SPRINTS out of his room to find a toilet (has been ignoring his bladder for hours) #but who swoons (because he also forgot about eating) and bangs his head on the wall and a disciple notices him like NIE GONGZI?! #YOU'RE HURT WE NEED TO TAKE YOU TO THE HEALERS' PAVILLION and he's like Oh God OH Fuck No i just wanted to PEE :((( #if he's actually super smart but only pretending then what's the fuckening point. where's the punch that comes with the realization that an #innocent boy who loves art poetry and leisure has turned into a ruthless adult driven by revenge who doesn't even care how many people die #on his path to it!!! if he's protective od nmj and hypercompetent then what's the poooooint! #he must be stupid and in an ideal world Stupid He Remains. #thanks for coming to my insanity. i'm about to have breakfast at 3pm. cheers #shrimp thoughts

[heartpiratedrabbles]

Insecurities Part 2

Part 1 ~ Part 3 Part 4

Buggy X Fem Reader

Buggy was unreasonably angry, he knew it. He couldn’t understand why you had been continuing this ruse for so long. He slammed the bathroom door, leaving you in there and looked around, detaching his hands to grab clothes and get dressed quickly. He stepped on a piece of your discarded costume and it filled him with rage and sadness looking at it.

Quickly he grabbed a bag and rummaged in a chest to set some berries aside. He couldn’t have such a distraction around him anymore. He quickly gathered your things that had been placed in a few places in the room and stuffed them in the bag. He listened to see if you had moved in the bathroom and was slightly relieved that you hadn’t come out yet. The face you made before he left had broken his heart but he was sure that it was all apart of the act you had started playing so long ago.

Once most of your items were gathered Buggy grumbled leaving the room, if he had missed anything you could grab it yourself. He needed to be gone, his resolve would break if he saw you again. He stormed out of the room heading to his office to cool off, not even bothering to put his makeup on for the day.

~~~

        It wasn’t until late at night that Alvida was the one to break Buggy’s silence. He had made it clear he didn’t want to be disturbed and seeing the former captain saunter in with a knowing smirk pissed him off to no end. “Must’ve been an eventful night~” She laughed sitting down in a chair pouring out some wine for herself, “I haven’t even seen Y/N all day. You really must be gentler with her.”

        That name made Buggy go over the edge, “Never mention her in front of me again” he slammed his fists on his desk and glared at Alvida who seemed genuinely shocked at your outburst. “If she knows what’s good for her, she’d be gone by now.”

        “What does that mean? Buggy you didn’t kick her out, did you?” Alvida stood up, her normally composed self disappearing, “She’s been here since before me!” Buggy threw a knife in her direction.

        “She shouldn’t have played with fire then” Buggy was seething, he had almost forgotten that you were a senior member of the crew and it brought another wave of betrayal and anger to wash over him.

        “She wasn’t playing with fire you idiot” She slammed her mace down onto Buggy’s desk and got in his face, “I was so fucken sick of listening to her swoon over you that I convinced her to take her shot.”

        Buggy stopped for a second thinking about words he just heard, “That’s impossible Alvida and you fucken know it. Now get out of my fucken face.” There’s no way anything between the two of you had been real.

        “Fine but I better see that poor girl tomorrow otherwise there will be hell to pay.” Alvida murmured slamming the door on her way out. Buggy sat back down angry, He guessed Alvida was right, he couldn’t just kick you out entirely. You did have rather large roles. Best to demote you and avoid coming into contact, but to just kick out someone whose been apart of the crew for so long would be insane.

        He certainly wasn’t going to talk to you so he sent word through Cabaji to let you know of your new position. Much to his dismay though he couldn’t find you anywhere. Your roommates hadn’t seen you since yesterday and all your items were still in their quarters but no one had seen a single sight of you.

        Out of frustration Buggy stormed to his own room, assuming you hadn’t even left yet. He burst into the room nearly taking the door off its hinges but stopped when he looked at the bed. He quickly noticed that the bag he had prepared for you was missing, but the satchel of berries was laying right there. He looked else where in the room and found nothing else disturbed before his eyes glanced over at his vanity, noticing a neatly wrapped box.

        He grabbed it, and sat of the bed, no doubt this was your work, no one else would even bother wrapping anything, opting to just hand it to Buggy instead. He slowly ripped open the box, his breath hitching at the content inside.

        He thumbed the pages looking at your handy work, “Always the sentimental type,” He muttered under his breath looking at a neatly written paragraph explaining the photo right above it. As he flipped through, he was shocked to see drops of water appear on the pages below him and without realizing it he was full blown crying.

~~~

It had been a couple of days since you disappeared, everyone had hoped that you’d come back since you left, to their knowledge, without any money and without most of your belongings. They had assumed you were just sulking somewhere and that you’d come back once you calmed down, but as the days passed the outcome became bleaker.

~~~

The first couple of months from the crew were hard. You were use to the daily grind of preparing for a show and making sure the service was running smoothly. Ignoring your relationship with Buggy, you were also the main trapeze artist and escapist act for the circus, and you were in charge of assigning groups to missions on your off days from the circus.

        On top of going from island to island, you had to be careful as you were still a wanted criminal. Your bounty being 20 million Berries, made bounty hunters come looking for you, as soon as word got out that you, we no longer on Karai Bari. Early on Cabaji and Alvida also tried to get a hold of you but you ignored it, answering the bare minimum questions that you were alright and alive before hanging up. You didn’t know why they were contacting you but it hurt too much to hear voices of people you couldn’t see again. Opting instead to sell your transponder snail to help change your appearance enough to not be recognized.

        You dyed your hair and put made sure to wear clothes that covered every tattoo, choosing to look like a normal islander over the performer/pirate you look you had grown accustomed to over the years. You never stayed on an island for too long, a week or two at most to evade prying eyes from realizing who you were. You still needed to time to figure out what you’d be doing from now on, where’d you go. You thought about all the previous times you had restarted your life, how every time it was by no choice of your own.

The thought to join another pirate crew had crossed your mind but immediately left a sour taste in your mouth, you didn’t want to follow someone who wasn’t Buggy. He was your one and only captain, even if he no longer wanted you. Your thoughts wondered towards the circus and how happy it had made you to just preform. Hearing the applause as you swung across a chasm or got out of a box made your heart beat with joy. It was risky to get back into the business, it’d put you in center of attention again. Ultimately though, you thought it’d be best to do something you enjoyed rather than wander the world lonely.

After much thought throughout the weeks, you decided it’d be best to save up the money and start your own circus, certainly not on the grand line, that’d be too close to Buggy. You set your sights for the South Blue and let yourself relax now that you had a goal in mind. For now, you were still very much in the New World and needed a way to 1) make money and 2) get there.

What was also starting to concern you was the lack of period you had experienced since you had left, although the thought wasn’t really there. In the past, your period had stopped for 4-5 months before because of stress, and you certainly were in no lack of stress at the moment. For now, you’d rather sleep the night a little more comfortable now that you had decided on your path.

~~~

Alvida was able to get a hold of you for a quick conversation but you had kept it short and non-descript, not answering any questions about where you were or where you were heading. Buggy had faced Avida’s wrath for chasing away her favorite crewmate but he was dealing with a lot more emotions than just that. When Cabaji tried calling you, you had answered but he quickly realized you weren’t going to say anything.

The longer without you the more everyone realized just how much you did. When Buggy created his delivery service most of his crew choose one side to stay apart of, the circus, or the service. But you had somehow managed to do both, arranging practices and new routines for acrobatics while also overseeing groups training and sending the appropriate groups to whatever battle needed it. It was stressful having to catch up with what jobs you were no longer doing. And having to explain your disappearance was more painful, making Buggy push everything onto Mohji or Cabaji.

Buggy went through your belongings, one of your roommates bringing the chest of items when he demanded it. He pushed aside some clothing and Knick knacks before he laid his eyes on a journal that looked well-loved. He sat back as he untied the leather string that kept the journal closed. The first page seemed to have been dated 13 years prior. He flipped to the back of the journal, still a decent amount of empty pages but he finally found the last entry, dated just a day before he had kicked you out.

~4 months~

You couldn’t ignore it anymore; you had somehow made it to the beginning of the Grand line but with a more dire matter rearing it’s head you had to stop and figure it out. You had gained a significant amount of weight, ‘popping’ within the past 2 weeks as some of the people you were traveling with said.

        Right now, you were on a semi-busy island, one that most people stop at to re-stock their ships before venturing further and you were waiting in a small doctors’ office. You had tried to deny it but it was becoming a nuisance. The nausea at the smell of foods, the waking up to puke. And what would you do? It was painful to think about how you ended up where you were.

        The door opened stopping your thoughts and the doctors closed the door behind her, “Well Y/N, congratulations. It seems your about 17 weeks pregnant. Although you are much larger than an average pregnancy.” Your heart stopped hearing these words, “I’d recommend you stop you’re travelling. With how fast the baby is developing I wouldn’t be shocked if you had a short pregnancy.”

        You sit there thinking for a second, “What do you mean a short pregnancy?”

        “Well, most pregnancies are around 9 months. But that’s with 2 normal humans.” The doctor got out a small chart you’d never seen before, “We’ve noticed that when people copulate with others, say Fishmen or Giants for example, the gestation period can be much shorter or longer. And based on the information you’ve given us I’d expect your due date to be somewhere within the next month or two.” The doctor pointed out the information on the chart as she explained it to you.

        Your head was reeling, was Buggy not human? You knew his nose was different but that didn’t mean he wasn’t human. The doctor took your silence as a way to continue, “I’d highly recommend you’d settle down until you give birth. Traveling could put you and your child in danger. Would you like to contact the father? We have a great office of the island that can track down most anyone.” She rubs your arm a bit, “Until then I’d like to see you in the office at least once a week, especially since you’ve been out on the sea without any pre-natal vitamins this entire time.”

        You sit there placing your hands on your stomach. You couldn’t continue your journey like this, and what’s more what will you do when they’re born? Tears brimmed your eyes, “Ah- Of course we do have other options if you’d rather not have the child” The doctor quickly added seeing you slightly tremble.

        You snapped your head up and then looked down at your stomach again. Despite everything, you couldn’t bare the thought of giving them up, “No- ah sorry. I’m just, I’m overwhelmed at the news. Is there a place I could stay for a while?” You rub one of your eyes before looking up at the doctor with a meek smile.

        The doctor sighs a bit seeing you calm down, “Of course, I have a friend who has a spare room, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind helping you out.”

~~~

Buggy hasn’t been the same without you. He was easier to anger and started doing more dangerous acts, pushing everyone to work harder. His crew didn’t know whether he was encouraging everyone to work their hardest or if he was trying to push them over the edge and no one tried to figure it out either.

He had taken his time to read through your journal when he got lonely and realized he never got to actually know you. His heart sank the more he realized that he just forced you to go with his own current, not caring about your life. He read as your life seemed bleak and dark before taking a uphill turn when you joined his crew. He smiled as he read your first impression of him as, “A charming blue-haired savior.” And he vaguely remembered the day himself.

        He had mistakenly decided to raid an island that had a celestial dragon on it, apparently the island made a tribute every couple of years by offering a maiden as a slave. You were there in the cage, contorting you body to make it easier to escape, the movements had intrigued him and he offered you a spot on his crew. He remembers you being surprised that he was even there, your doe eyes staring up at him before you smiled, revealing a key between your teeth that you used to unlocked yourself from the restraints before taking his hand. He couldn’t help but to remember a few tears fall from your eyes despite your smiling.

        His heart ached at all the memories that were resurfacing, before continuing to read your journal. Every big adventure written in remembrance, the read of your admiration towards him for changing plans when “the idiot in a straw hat” came by and it made Buggy chuckle as your recollection of the events. Closing the journal whenever he couldn't read anymore.

~6 Months~

Gin helped you to your appointment. When you had met him, you were on guard, but he’s the first one to open up to you about being an ex-pirate himself and how he settled down to help those in need. Just like how someone had helped him when he was starving. He didn’t seem to mind that you had stayed longer than expected and even offered you the place until you felt the child was old enough. Even pushing for you to raise the child a bit before continuing your adventure, after you had told him you wanted to start a circus, so that you wouldn’t have to worry about the newborn.

        But much of that talk was hushed as your stomach was now ballooned and you hadn’t felt any contractions as of yet. Dr. Shiegi was already waiting for you in her office when you arrived. Gin was about to sit in the waiting room when you looked back, “You know Gin. If you want to come in you can,” It was a friendly gesture, he had become like a protective brother since you’ve met him and he seemed overjoyed for a second before calming himself back down to be composed as he walked into the office and taking a seat there.

        Dr. Shiegi was mulling over papers after doing all the normal check-ups, “Are you sure the father isn’t from elbaf???” She was stressing herself over your due date and how large you were becoming. “I just can’t seem to pin-point anything, if I knew more about the father maybe-“ She stopped herself as she realized it was a bit of a sore subject for you.

        You sighed while smiling, a hand gently placed on your stomach, “As long as the baby’s healthy I don’t mind waiting.” The doctor across from you sighing heavily.

        “This is making me as stressed as when I was a student Y/N. How are we supposed to prepare anything if you have no idea when you’ll go into labor??” She took a deep breath before getting up to get herself some tea, pouring you a cup as well.

        “Well, there’s no use in stressing over what you can’t control,” you muse taking the cup from her extended hand, “So how was everything else?” Taking a sip.

        “You and the baby both seem to be healthy as can be, I cannot stress though you shouldn’t be working right now. Don’t think Gin hasn’t told me about you trying to sneak out to help in the garden or build things. You need bed rest especially with this unknown due date,” She stressed her words as she sat back down.

        “I feel fine, besides I’ll go crazy if I don’t do anything. I’m use to moving around a lot and I’m sure my baby agrees,” You smiled a bit as she groaned and you could feel Gin’s worried stare in the side of your head, “But if it makes you feel better, I’ll cut back a little bit.” Dr. Shiegi sighed a bit leaning back, willing to accept this small compromise for now.

        “By the way Y/N, have you thought about any names?” Gin seemed to perk his ears at this as you hadn’t talked to him about it either.

        You chuckled a bit, “I know it sounds silly but I was thinking of Benji or Azure. Either way I’ll raise them for the spotlight” Truth be told you were hoping for a girl and you couldn’t help but to imagine what a cute baby with a bright red nose would look like.

        “Not the weirdest I’ve heard, and if you’re raising them for the circus the names fit in well,” Gin piped into the conversation again a small twinkle in his eye at the thought of a child running around. You could tell he had taken on an uncle role already with how much he was doting on your unborn child, every now and then he let his hard shell fall to reveal it.

~~~

Another lonely night led Buggy back to your journal, this time to an entry of his time in Impel Down. You had been worried about your captain's well-being and if you'd ever see him again, only sighing in relief when you got the news that he had escaped only to be terrified when he had appeared in the Paramount War, broadcasting everything for the world to see. You had written about how it was stupid of him to go in there with little to no plan, but how it was exactly who you knew him to be. Proud that he hadn't changed while behind bars.

The more he read the more he realized how much you had been watching him for much longer than you had been sleeping with him. There was even mention on how Alvida bullied you about your school girl crush on the captain and how your first night with him had been because of the domineering womens interference.

Buggy had realized all his mistakes, even with his own self-doubts he was regretting everything. He never thought that anyone would truly love him, nor would he have ever thought they’d put up with how obnoxious he was all the time.

~~~

"We have to find her,” Buggy demanded bursting into the room. He brought his closest advisors into the meeting, Mihawk and Crocodile were meant to be there but they’d be damned if they were to actually be bossed around by him.

        “What do you think we’ve been doing this entire time behind your back,” Alvida mumbles, using a file to fix her nails, “Do you really think I’d ever let her escape without an attempt at finding her?”

        “The problem is she knows how to disappear,” Cabaji chimed in, “we lost track of her after she was seen escaping some marines a couple months back.” Buggy’s heart quickened at the mention of marines.

        “Why didn’t you report to me on any of this, What if she’s in trouble?” He demanded slamming a fist into the table.

        “What so you could tell us to fuck off and that your decision is final?” Alvida glowered at him, “Besides if marines caught her there would have been news on it, I’m sure she’s off hiding somewhere. We just have to look for what she loved and follow any leads.” And so started the full-scale project to find you.

~8 months~

Dr. Shiegi was stressing beyond belief, you were much larger than any pregnancy she had seen before and was starting to get worried about your own wellbeing. And you had to admit, it was getting much harder to walk around with a stomach the protruded as far out as it did. Gin was more than happy to let you sit and do everything for you, but you didn’t like being doted and waited on, you’d much rather be out and about but it seemed as though your child had other plans.

        Gin had also noticed how lonely you got at times. You had seen an updated bounty poster of Buggy on the street and had taken it without a second thought. You read of how he had been moving around, making waves in the New World. When you thought you were alone, you’d look and talk to the poster as though it were Buggy you were talking too.

        You weren’t sure how your old Captain would take the news of having a child soon, but it didn’t matter. He wouldn’t be a part of their life, but it brought you some solace to just talk about your dreams of raising them to be an amazing performer, a headliner no doubt for the circus you were sure to start when your body was your own again.

        Gin would sometimes listen to you through the doorway without you realizing, usually making noise to alert you to his presence. He had convinced you to stay on the island until your child was at least a year old, and you hadn’t told him yet but you were thinking of settling down and starting your circus here. No one knew who you were here, or if they did, they didn’t care. There were enough other ex-pirates or people hiding their identities on the island that people didn’t pry, they were happy with the present and didn’t question the past.

        You felt a rather hard kick against your stomach and Gin glanced over at you with concern, “I think it’ll happen any day now,” you say soothing your stomach.

~~~

Buggy was going insane, he had sent troops out to every nearby island to look for you. Every convoy came back empty and Alvida was beating on him every day there wasn't a sign of you. "There's no one else competent around here," She had yelled at him throwing her club in his direction.

The longer you were away the more reckless Buggy became, making a larger impact on those around him, and more importantly, the world around him. He had ransacked a couple Navy bases and didn't show signs of stopping.

~9 Months~

Dr. Shiegi was stationed at the end of the bed and Gin was wiping your forehead with a wet towel. It had been 30 hours already and you’ve never felt this pain before. You were gripping the bed with all your might listening to Dr. Shiegi’s commands. Maybe this hadn’t been a good idea, thoughts of Buggy kept rising up that brought waves of a different pain. Would he approve of this? You doubt it, the last time you looked at him he only held hatred for you.

        Soon enough though, you could hear a crying and breathed a sigh of relief hearing ‘it’s a boy’ before you felt another jolt of pain, letting out another scream. Your baby was quickly handed off to Gin as Dr. Shiegi took her place again concern filling her face.

        After a long process you finally felt a relief. You were to dazed to hear what was being said and let darkness befall you.

~~~

You woke up to Shiegi wiping your forehead and looked around trying to sit up, “Hey calm down everything’s alright. You need rest right now.”

“Where’s my baby?” You ignore her concern and adjust to lean against the back of the bed, wincing a bit in pain. Your doctor and friend sighs before leaving the room for a second.

She comes back in holding a bundled blanket, Gin following behind her with another bundle, “Y/N. I’m an idiot, I never thought of the possibility of twins,” You look at the two blankets registering her words, “So I’d like you to meet your two healthy baby boys,” She smiled handing you one baby as Gin sat next to you holding the other.

You look down holding in a gasp, The newborn in your hand had a few locks of blue hair and a nose the was similar to his fathers, you quickly look at Gins arms and he takes the hint to settle the child in your other arm. Twins. They looked exactly the same, the flood of emotions you felt as you stared at your beautiful babies was too much that you started to cry a bit.

The pain was worth it, the months on this island was worth it, you couldn’t think of a single thing better than that of the two bundles of joy right in front of you.

#one piece #One Piece X Reader #Angst #Buggy #Buggy the Clown #Buggy X Reader #part 2

[minefield-of-a-ninja]

BLACK TIE OPTIONAL: PART THREE

Summary: The last time we saw Vanessa, she was swooning over Dean’s lasting impression. Now, we fast-forward a year to see what she’s up to.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x OFC Vanessa Martinelli, (eventual) Sam Winchester x OFC Emma Olsen

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, HBO RomCom bullshit, male modelin' sonsabitches, schmoop, "one thing about Dean Winchester is, if a Toddler handed him a toy phone, he'd answer it"

Words in this part: 3K

Author's notes: Follow-up to Plus One.

Thank you, @brrose-apothecary and @stusbunker for the read-throughs and greenlight.

Prologue | Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Final Part

PART THREE

Her alarm goes off at 8:30 AM. As she blinks her eyes open and draws a deep breath, she acknowledges the unfamiliar signs of a good night’s sleep. She’s rested and ready for a day of bridesmaid duties in a way she’s never been.

Before she can focus on any single point in the dim room, her body instinctively burrows into the warm, solid figure curled around her back.

Dean mumbles behind her, tucking his hips against her and sliding a knee between her thighs. Vanessa’s eyelids flutter, and her breath stutters.

She’s never considered herself a cuddler. She likes her space and doesn’t like being restricted. She finds it hard to sleep soundly with another person in the same bed.  

But Dean is different.

“Mornin’,” he mumbles, nuzzling the side of her neck and dragging his lips across one shoulder.

Vanessa clasps a hand over the one palming her belly. “How’d you sleep?” She reluctantly rolls to face him, not wanting to break the bubble of bliss, but loving the reward of his beautiful face.

“Good,” he mutters, rubbing one eye while keeping the other on her. “You snore. But like a cute li’l motor purr. Lulled me right to sleep.”

Vanessa scoffs. “What? No one’s ever told me that.”

Dean chuckles and reaches for her, and her insides flip. “Everybody snores, don't they?”

She gives up being offended or questioning what it means that she was snoring and lets him pull her close. He rolls to his back, dragging her across him, and her knees easily slot on either side of his hips. He gently smooths away the hairs that have escaped the hair tie before arching up to kiss her.

Vanessa doesn’t flinch from morning breath or the sticky heat striping the insides of her thighs. She revels in the feel of him strong and sound under her as his hands trail her shoulders and down her back to trace the seam and curve of her ass until he’s grasping the backs of her thighs. 

“Nice and snug,” he whispers against her ear.

Vanessa hums and rests her head in the center of his chest. Her eyes follow the tip of her finger as it outlines his tattoo, and she wonders if he’ll ever tell her how this occultist-looking symbol has anything to do with his family’s private investigation business. She wonders, not for the first time, how he got all his scars.

“What time you gotta be somewhere?” He drags his fingers up over her ass and back down, and his dick twitches hot at her slick opening. 

“Eleven. But Emma and I were talking about going down to the gym before we have to be at the salon.”

Dean grunts. “Might wanna check in with her first.”

Vanessa chuckles, pushing up to look him in the eye. “What d’you know?”

He smirks, gripping her hips to grind up against her. “Got up at four for some water, she was making all kindsa noise. Sammy, too.”

“Fucken-A, good for her.” She lets Dean roll her to her back and knee between her thighs, reaching down to guide himself inside her. They both groan and Vanessa lifts her knees to wrap her legs around his hips.

“Fucken-A, right, good for him, too.” Dean swivels his hips before giving her a heavy thrust and dropping his forehead to the pillow beside her head. “I love morning sex.”

“Me, too,” she whispers, nestling against his cheek before he rises up again to set that slow and steady pace she’s dreamed about for the last year without him.

--

“Gotta admit,” Emma pauses for the makeup artist to finish her lips with gloss, mumbling ‘thank you’ before continuing her confession to Vanessa. “I was unconvinced by your claims that Dean Winchester had somehow revolutionized the way you see other men and sex, but...”

She glances around the salon to the other bridesmaids before leaning into Vanessa.  

“If he’s anything like his brother, my god.”

Vanessa nods, thanking the woman putting the finishing touches on her own lips, then turns to Emma. “There’s something to be said about the fuck of your life, no lie.”

“No fuckin’ lie.” Emma settles back into her spa chair, reaching for the remote control to activate the massager. “His hands... size is officially a kink for me now. Hands, shoulders, his dick, Vanessa.”

Vanessa laughs out loud, handing her a fresh bottle of water. “Hydrate. And pace yourself. If you recall, I was in a fucking daze for weeks after my last encounter with Dean.”

Emma accepts the bottle with a tilt of her head. She snaps the cap open, studying her friend as she scrolls her phone and waits for the next professional beautifier to start on their pedicures, recalling those weeks with clarity.

She’s known Vanessa since college. They were in a sorority together with Nicole, Katie, and Toni. She and Vanessa went to nursing school after college, and for the last five years, she’s spent every Happy Hour, brunch, and birthday party with her. Vanessa’s always been even-tempered, consistent, and predictable. Emma’s never known her to get hung up on much of anything. 

Then, last summer, after one night with Dean, she spent the next six weeks distracted and disorganized. Emma and Katie talked about confronting her, but Nicole and Toni said they should give her space. She finally got back to her old self, but Emma definitely wouldn’t forget those weeks.

“How was your night?” she asks, slightly changing the subject.

“Good.” Vanessa’s head bobs. “Chill, ya know, pacing myself.” 

Underneath the 16-hour make-up, Emma can see her cheeks flush with emotion. She doesn’t want to pry, so she takes a sip of water and leaves what Vanessa isn’t saying to filter in the air.

“Good. Chill’s good. Anyway, not to be dramatic, but it’s not just big. OK?”

Vanessa snorts and busts into a fit of giggles, and Emma’s happy to oblige.

“Just big could be a potential disaster. Remember that Croatian I took home from Tao two summers ago? What a dolt. I was sore for a week and not in a good way. But Sam can do anything with that thing. I could just sit and admire it for hours and be in tears.” 

Vanessa cackles. “Paint still life art.”

“Still life art!” Emma hollers.

“Jesus Christ, you two are traumatizing the entire city block,” Nicole hisses from across the room.

Emma and Vanessa roll their eyes, and Katie chuckles beside Nicole, patting her arm.

“What’s the matter, Nic, not gettin’ the good dick lately?” Toni mutters from the main chair before wincing painfully. “Ow! Why did I agree to an updo?”

“Because you liked my wedding hair, Tenderhead, but I warned you,” Nicole answers.

Emma snorts, comfortably warmed by the easy camaraderie of her circle of friends. When she glances sideways at Vanessa, the best of the bunch, Vanessa’s staring dreamily at her phone.

“What’s Hottie #1 up to?” Emma asks.

Vanessa squirms a little and bites her lip, and Emma feels that swoon in the depths of her soul.

“They went to DMK for burgers.” She turns the phone to show Emma a picture of Dean, looking like Shaggy Rogers with a double triple-decker sandwich and a mile-wide grin. “Dork.”

Emma chuckles. “Cute and funny on top of looking like that and being a gentleman? Dangerous.” 

Vanessa tenses before placing her phone face down on the side table. “He’s pretty great.” She focuses on the nail technician as he takes a seat in front of the foot bath, chewing the inside of her lip with a furrowed brow.

Emma’s quiet for a while. She really doesn’t want to pry, but she also can’t stand to watch her friend deny herself the possibility of something amazing out of fear. Another pedicurist sits at Emma’s feet, and once they’re each into their work, she tries a new tactic.

“Do you remember that guy Nico from freshman year in the dorms? Before we rushed?”

Vanessa turns her furrowed brow to her friend. “I think so. He worked in the fitness center, right?”

Emma nodded. “We went out once.”

“I didn’t know that!”

“Nobody did.” Emma shrugged, looking down at the man quietly trimming her toenails. “I never told anyone.”

“Why not?”

“At the time I thought it was because I was embarrassed that he was so rough or whatever. Like he was all tatted up with that mohawk, but like...” She looks back at her friend and shakes her head. “The way he made me feel scared the shit outta me.”

Vanessa blinks then slides her gaze to the man working on her feet. 

“Then I told myself I wasn’t ready, then I met Josh.” She shrugs. “I sound like some old maid tryna distill my wisdom to you, but I’m just calling it like I see it.”

Vanessa sighs and rolls her neck one way then the other. “He’s 10 years older than me, Em. And I don’t even know what he does for a job. We barely know each other.”

“Bullshit. He knows you better than you’re willing to admit. Who cares what the family business is?”

Vanessa arches a brow in her direction.

“Yeah, Sam has the same tattoo. Plus, Van, he’s like 37.”

“How do you know that?”

“I ask questions and can do basic math.”

Vanessa shakes her head, and her phone vibrates again. She picks it up and swipes it open to look at the new image she received. When she shows Emma her phone screen, she’s treated to an image of Sam taking a large bite of kale and chicken salad with Dean’s thumb pointed down in the foreground.

Emma makes a mock pout. “Oh, Sam — the burdens of maintaining that beautiful body.”

Vanessa laughs again as she turns her camera to snap a shot of herself and Emma to send back to Dean.

“What if they’re in the mafia or something?”

“Like we’ve never dated anyone related to the mafia, please.”

Vanessa rolls her eyes. “That’s my point. But I’m kidding, I don’t get that vibe from them, but what’s with all the scars?”

Emma shrugs. “Sam has ‘em, too. I dunno, but have you ever felt so safe with a guy?”

Vanessa shakes her head. “That’s what I mean. I don’t get the possessive tough guy vibe, just... badass. Kind, generous, gorgeous badass.”

“Right. So do you really wanna let him walk away again?”

Vanessa sighs, dropping her head against the backrest before playfully glaring at her friend. “Why can’t you be a bad friend for once?”

“Not in my nature.” 

They both laugh.

--

After Vanessa and Emma left the hotel for their spa appointment, Dean couldn’t stop thinking about the night before. He doesn’t know what happened in Vanessa’s past to convince her that he’d reject her so easily, but if things were different for Dean, he’d do the exact opposite and hold her close.

The night they met, she asked him to make a scene, and he did. He wants to do it again, but in a different kind of way because she deserves everything she wants.

“Sammy!” Dean adjusts his tie and pockets his wallet. “Meet ya downstairs; gotta get Baby from valet.”

“Be there in five,” Sam calls from his and Emma’s room.

Dean holsters his Colt inside his waistband at his back. They haven’t seen any trouble since they arrived yesterday, but he isn’t taking any chances. Before he walks out the door, he slides into his suit jacket and settles his shades in place.

He and Sam arrive at the church a respectable 30 minutes before the ceremony, dressed to the nines. They hang around outside with the rest of the guests until the doors are opened. Several guests stare at them, and it makes Sam uncomfortable.

“What’re these people staring at?”  He fidgets and tries to make himself smaller.

“We’re a coupla handsome sonsabitches, Sammy. They can’t help themselves.” Dean drags his attention from his phone after checking messages. “Still no news, by the way, so I guess we can relax.”

“Is that why you brought your .45?”

Before Dean can answer his cranky baby brother, the doors to the church open and the guests begin filing inside.

“Can never be too careful, now, shut up and get inside.”

In the foyer of the church, the wedding party is greeting the guests. Dean spots her within a second and stops in his tracks, pulling his sunglasses off to get a better look at her. She’s wearing a full-length, dark brown silk gown. It’s sleeveless with a high neck and a low, open back. She’s laughing, and Dean’s heart picks up its pace.

Emma appears at her side, also in a long silk gown of a different color, and Vanessa scans the crowd. When her eyes land on Dean, they go wide, and her jaw drops. Emma turns to see what Vanessa’s looking at and soon her expression is matching.

Dean impatiently waits for the other guests to get out of his way so he can get his hands on her.  

“Wow.” Vanessa shakes her head in awe once Dean is in front of her. “You look—”

“Nah.” Dean hooks an arm around her waist to pull her in for a quick kiss. “I’m just tryna keep up with you.”

Vanessa murmurs, “If I had even five extra minutes, I’d take you to the nearest closet and be on my knees.”

“Mmm, careful, Nessa, I gotta go sit in a church pew for the next 45 to an hour.”

“Break it up.” Emma smirks, looping her arm through Vanessa’s to untangle her from Dean’s arms. “Time to line up, Van.” 

Vanessa whines and practically stomps her foot, and Dean chuckles, watching Vanessa and Emma hurry to catch up with the rest of the party. 

“Damn,” he mutters as they disappear down the stairs of the church. 

“No kidding,” Sam agrees. “Talk about a couple of good-looking people.”

“Did you hear what she said to me?”

“I didn’t. But it couldn’t have been better than what Emma said to me.”

Dean shoots his brother a look of surprise. “Well, look at you, little brother.”

--

“This day has been filled with the longest stretches of time we’ve been still in... ever.”

After the very long, sobering ceremony, Dean and Sam are waiting outside for their dates. It takes longer than they expected, but Dean doesn’t mind the downtime. 

“Yeah, I kinda like it.”

“Since when? You rarely even sleep more than four hours a night.”

“I dunno, man, since Amara, maybe? I just... I could get used to this normal shit once in a while is all I’m sayin’.”

Sam puzzles over his brother’s assertion until he spots Emma and Vanessa descending the stairs toward them. He’s taken aback once again by how beautiful Emma is and how she makes him feel normal. That realization is a bit of an a-ha moment for him regarding what Dean just said.

“Hey,” he greets his date with a smile.

“So,” Emma begins, twisting her fingers in the lapels of Sam’s jacket and pulling herself into him. “We can either follow the limo on a bar crawl, or you can take me back to the room right now, and—”

“What a lovely ceremony!” An older lady appears at Vanessa’s side, holding the hand of the flower girl, interrupting Emma’s most certainly obscene proposition. “Wasn’t that lovely?” 

“Silvia, how are you?” Vanessa greets the woman and then crouches down to address the little girl. “Oh, my goodness, Ari, you did such a good job with the flowers! How old are you now?”

“Four,” the little girl answers, awkwardly showing Vanessa four little fingers before peeking up at the man behind Vanessa. “Who’s that?”

“Oh, umm,” Vanessa follows Ari’s line of sight to see Dean squatting down beside her.

“Hi, Ari. I’m Dean.” He extends his open hand to her as an introduction, and Ari drops her plump little fist into his palm. Dean smiles, gently curling his hand around hers to shake. “Nice to meet you.”

“Hi,” she says, blushing and twirling where she stands, and holding onto his hand. “Do you like my dress?”

Dean fixes his expression with affected surprise. “‘Course, I do! It’s bright and beautiful, just like you.”

Vanessa is captivated by the ease with which he interacts with a preschooler. Just like the night before after her slip-up with Toni’s mom, he takes it all in stride.

“What do you say, Ari?” Silvia asks.

“Thank you,” the little girl mumbles before turning and hiding in her grandmother’s skirt.

Dean chuckles, and he and Vanessa rise to stand. He wraps an arm around her waist as Silvia explains the reason she has Ari to herself is because her son had to work unexpectedly.

“So, no Daddy-daughter practice dance for Ari tonight. Well, we better get going, Ari. We need to get you something to eat. We’ll see you all at the reception, huh?”

Silvia says her goodbyes and walks away. 

“Where’s her mom?” he asks, watching the woman and her granddaughter cross the street to the parking lot.

“She left right after Ari was born. No one’s seen her since.”

Dean winces. “Poor kid.”

“Hate to be the bearer of bad news,” Nicole sighs as she saunters toward them, looking anything but contrite. “Antonia wants the entire wedding party to be on this pub crawl, so no hotel room quickie or whatever you had planned during the cocktail hour.” 

She somehow succeeds in side-eying Vanessa, Dean, Emma, and Sam all at the same time. 

“Of course, that doesn’t preclude any of you from hand jobs in the Batmobile.”

She rolls her eyes and chuckles as she turns on her heel to the limo where Zach is waiting for her. He waves over her head at the four of them and calls out.

“We’ll wait for ya to pull around behind us and follow!”

Dean nods back before sliding his shades on. “Alright, kids, let’s hit it.”

He offers his elbow to Vanessa, and Sam does the same for Emma before they follow in Silvia’s footsteps to the parking lot. 

Final Part

Series master list | Dean Winchester Masterlist | SPN Masterlist | All Fic Masterlist

#dean winchester smut #dean winchester x ofc

[quandaryqueen]

Signs that the Riddler's are in love

Hmmm, simp hours commencing in 3, 2, 1.

💚 Gotham

GCPD's residential simp Edward Nygma is a man who swoons as subtle as a jackhammer in the middle of construction. He looms over you, too close might I add. Not to mention, 💫 Riddles ™💫and gifts! With 💫Riddles💫

Okok he just doesn't really know how to approach you, he just does does whatever he has seen how his peers move around in the dating game— but dialed down and in his own way. What, do you think he'd pick you up with a vulgar invitation to his bedroom? No! Ok but that still doesn change the fact that some of you Y/N's might be uncomfortable with his attempt to flirt, something that is highly rational and reasonable.

But instead of making fun of him behind his back like say... Kristen and just talking to him, explain to him, make it known to him that you're uncomfortable with his advances and he'll stop. He's a reasonable man with a brain, he'd get it and back tf off.

💚 Young Justice

No, omg this boy can barely keep his composure around you. Like, blushing, stuttering, stammering, smiling like a fool, constant heart eyes around you, SWOONING, SCREAMING IN HIS PILLOW, CREAMING —

Making a move though? Nope! Would die in the spot if he even got within your radius.

But how will he make his love for you known? Well... There were a series of attempts of talking to you, in which he makes a last minute 180 because you know, nerves. Well that doesn't work, letters it is! He'd make the MOST detailed letter there is, spilling his heart out in cursive letters and flowery words. Shakespeare? No, it's just Eddie on a 3 AM spur of simpery.

Eddie being unsure about the letter because fuck. If you reject him, well that's all good cough not really you can just toss it in the trash and you won't know who tf it is. But then if you feel the same... Well what now? How wiyou find him? Oh shit you might think that it's a prank, he doesn't want to hurt you like that. Overthinking did him wrong and then he ended up just tossing it in the trash even if he wrote basically everything.

But then the next day... He wished that he tore and flushed it because someone fucking went through his trash, found it, read it and gave it to you. He fucken died.

💚 Arkhamverse

My, my, what a cheery little lad. Just the sunshine and rainbows of a bright skies and grassy horizons-- yeah no lemme just drop the sarcasm for a sec.

This man, is a bitter man. Pushed everyone away who dares impose his progress and delay his work, it would be an absolute travesty if he were to be distracted for the smallest gaps of seconds.... But he supposes having you around to 'pester' him motivates him that people in Gotham, represented by you, will have their brains turned to mush if he doesn't do anything about it. *Cough* yes, the man is an absolute delight of a tsundere. Crush? No! It's just fondness for the lower end of the IQ count. Well, fondness is quite the word, flexible, but at least you know that he certainly feels something towards you.

He asks for your thoughts on things. Not that he cares! Criticisms? Oh please, there is not a single critic that can ever give him hell, he's a genius! Your criticisms cannot touch him! But he does need to know what you think of this recent prototype—

💚 Batman the animated series

Another simp! But he's not a shy simp like some other Riddler iterations, he is a smooth fucker who shoots his shot in every gaps of opportunity he has, no matter how small it is. Look, I've seen the rehab episode thing where Eddie cannot handle being approached by girls, BUT I believe that him initiating the flirting does not bother him at all. Though if you wanna know, he mostly kept the screaming as internal screaming.

You need that thing on the shelf regardless if you can reach it or not? Ed's got you sweetheart. What's brilliant, beautiful and otherworldly? You, honey 😘. Cold? Here comes his coat with his scent embedded on the fabric! Here's some of your favourite food and flowers! Need to get away with murder? Oh darling, he'd be happy to assist!

Needless to say, he is simp. He is over-the-top head over heels for you, he'd do anything for you. But at some degree, he'd know if you're abusing his love for you and will promptly call it out and stop it. So no, don't take advantage of it for your own benefit if you're not willing to do the same thing for him.

The person he lays his eyes on is in a constant observation, not in a stalker way by the way, he just loves making an analysis out of you and how much of a lovely person you are. He can get attached to certain things and that certain thing is you being your usual self. And he really does mean the affections for you.

So if you return his love well... He might just outsmile the Joker himself.

💚 Harley Quinn

"You know Y/N, you're the only one I tolerate in this goddamn city."

He keeps you close at most, away from harm's way and certainly provides extra protection from fellow rogue's who intends to fuck him over and hold you hostage. Because God, he'd be fucking torn if something were to happen to you because of him. You're the only one that keeps him somewhat stable in this damned city and someone who can understand him.

You really do mean to him and will do everything to keep you safe. For most of the time he is so done with the place, some idiots can be surprisingly surpass what he thought the maximum level of dumbassery, but at least he has someone who can understand him and help him through the times of frustration. No one can really solve his riddles the same way back in ye olde days, but oh well, at least he has you.

So, you're noticeably the only person who he talks to with a more calm, more casual and laid-back manner.

💚 The War of Jokes and Riddles

Silent sideline glances with a small smile lighting his lithe features. If anything, he plays it the coolest among the Riddlers. No pressure, he's just as cool as ever. Smooth as fuck that you'll be caught off-guard when what you thought was a riddle turned out to be a pick-up line. Not to mention, his constant compliments.

Then all of the sudden, he'd be more straightforward once he piques your interest and after he's tested the waters. Of course he wanted to see whether you were uncomfortable with his advances and that he'd gladly stop them. Straightforward is his way to go and he's confident about himself and what he truly feels about you.

He likes you. Your spirit, your brilliance, your beauty, everything. And how compatible you are with him, how equal you are.

#edward nigma #edward nygma #riddler x reader #edward nygma x reader #dc x reader #dc x you #edward nashton #gotham edward nygma #arkham riddler #arkham riddler x reader #btas riddler #btas riddler x reader #harley quinn riddler #harley quinn series #young justice riddler #young justice #gotham riddler #fox gotham #x reader #the war of jokes and riddles riddler x reader #the war of jokes and riddles

[slashingdisneypasta]

Oh god... Oh God Slashing, my man, I just got this thought and I NEED to put this here while it's still fresh in my mind.

Ok so you and I both write Wheezy being handsome, yeah? Especially when he cleans himself up and looks like a cologne commercial without trying?

What if Wheezy was like the groups Harper and Smartass would be Buckman pimping him out? Yeah, Greasy is already throwing himself at women, though it's safe to assume that that doesn't make women swoon XD so if for whatever reason, the group needed to seduce somebody, Smarty knows he's gotta send in Wheezy. Oh I imagine Greasy would be miffed XDD

Your thoughts?

Omg! I'm imagining that scene in Atlantis where the team is trynna 'decide' who should go schmooze Kida and Mole (Greasy) keeps popping up like 'I will do it!', 'I am your man!', 'For the good of the team, I will do it!', until Rourke (Smartass) smacks Milo (Wheezy), who could not care less, on the shoulder and goes 'Thanks for volunteering', causing Mole Greasy to start sobbing XDDD

Anyway- I love this. Here's a

Wheezy Weasel x Fem! Reader x Greasy Weasel || Drabble

Plot: Wheezy is instructed to charm Y/N, the recently ex girlfriend of a powerful Mafia toon in town that they have had some trouble with for years, and get information out of her (Like where has he run off to?)- except Greasy has a huge Thing for Y/N and he's very insulted that he wasn't given this job, and now Wheezy has to deal with Manipulative Pervert antics.

Warnings: Greasy bring Oppertunistic (Seeing Y/N's heartbroken drunkenness as an In), and just like... being himself. Also I'm not sure if this is coherent 😅

Greasy Weasel's POV

"Alright, Wheez- "As soon as Smartass glances at the smoker he does a double take, scowling. And I dont blame him, el fumador looks like a disgraceful mess- but what else is knew really?? I roll my eyes, crossing my arms. "Fucken hell, Wheezy. Brush your hair. You're up." Here I set my jaw and repress the angry words I want to spit at them both- why does he get to have all if the fun??? I am right here-

Wheezy heaves the heaviest sigh known to man kind, like an absolute drama queen, smoke slipping out of his mouth, nostrils, and his eyeballs. Honestly you'd think that if smoke started to leak out of your eyeballs you may cut back, but no... and this is the man that the Boss thinks can charm the women. Tch. Imbéciles estúpidos. "Boss, really?... "

"Yeah, really. I'm not talking for my own amusement, am I??? Heck no. Wash your face." It is going to take more then that to make el fumador a member of society, but okay-

"I was really hopin' to like... take a back seat, on this one... "

I cant help the annoyed huff, I make at this. The boss gives me a dangerous side eye and Wheezy looks unsurely at me, as if he is some kind of victim in all this, but I refuse to look at either of them; Just merely whistle and look off to our other two comrads picking at something squishy in the gutter.

Smartass rolls his eyes at me, then returns his attention to Wheezy, his eyes hard and mean. "Wheezy. There is a pathetic, heartbroken woman in there," He points at the bar we're parked next to, where Y/N is, "with information, gettin' drunk- Get your lazy flat ass in there."

Smartass' beautiful description of her almost gets me hard (she's so vulnerable right now- if I could just get close to her- speak to her- aghhhh!) but while I'm standing stiff trying to calm myself down- Wheezy actually groans (Where I can hear him!) and hunches his shoulders (Where I can clearly see him!), before slinking in.

Grrrrrrr, this ungrateful, undeserving, selfish- "And, now, we play the waitin' game. Greasy, go down the road and get us some snacks, will ya?" Smarty suddenly thrusts a few bills in my hands. Qué? Do I look like your server?? "I'm gonna take a nap in the van. And dont forget the red vines this time, will ya?"

With that, the boss slinks into the back of our dodge and slams the doors shut behind him. I make a face after him for a few moments, insulted by his usual brash manner, before... an idea, occurs to me.

As Stupid and Psycho continue to play with gutter garbage nearby, I compose a plan.

Heheh. I can be back before Smartass wakes up.

~

Ahhhh, there's the bastard.

As soon as I walk in, I spot them. Y/N's hunched on her elbows by the bar, her eyes wide with delicious, innocent, vulnerable intrigue as Wheezy (A.K.A the bastard) talks to her.

I taste something terrible watching them, because admittedly el fumador is rather charming when he tries to be (And sometimes when he isn't. I think it has something to do with how relaxed~ he seems to be, all the time. I could never be like that, not even if I, too, smoked 17 packs an hour- ) and he does have nice eyes,.. but goddamnit, that old man is going down. I can do this.

I would say I'm apologetic for what I must do- but I am not.

"Y/N!" Her body jumps when I appear on her other side, turning around to look at me with pretty rounded eyes; A definite haze of intoxication behind them. A smirk slithers across my face looking down at her. "Funny to see you here!- I had no idea. And- with el fumador!.. of all people... How nice. Mind if I join you?"

Wheezy gives me a raised-eyebrow look from Y/N's other side, but I ignore him! ^^ "Grease, what're you doin'?"

My attention is only for Y/N- pathetic, pregnable, easy Y/N. She glances at Wheezy, before settling her attention on me again. "Um- sure! What are- what are you doing here?"

"Ohh, nothing much~ Gracias for allowing me to crash your night, hermosa. Very sweet of you."

Nervously, she gives a faint smile; Shrugging. "Ohh, its n- nothing... I wasn't doing much... " Oh, the adorable, heartbroken thing she is. She doesn't know we are perfectly aware of her break up from that dumb asshole she's been with, today. Or that we kind of caused it. Afterall, he didnt leave town for no reason... Of course she doesn't- I should play this subtly.

"Mmm... and where is your boyfriend, Y/N? Surely he wouldn't leave you alone in a bar looking so beautiful~... Unsavoury types may approach." At this, I do finally look at Wheezy, and he gives me a very unamused look in return. Oh, he has no sense of humour-

"More unsavoury than you?" Y/N suddenly snaps, eyes flashing knowingly at mean- oh. She's more clever than I thought. Okay. I see.

"... can I buy you another drink, Hermosa?" She's not nearly drunk enough.

"Greasy." Wheezy warns, again. But Y/N takes a deep breath and nods, and then he's looking surprised at her. "Are you sure, about that?"

She shrugs back at him as I order her another of what she was drinking. "... yeah. I um- Brick broke up with me, today. I could use a few hundred... thousand, drinks."

Aww... pathetic little thing. Just perfect. Wheezy catches me smirking as I finger through the bills Smartass gave me for red vines, having heard that delicious admition, and gives a sigh; Rolling his eyes.

"Sorry to hear that... " He lies, because he knew very well what happened with Brick today, just like I did. Looking tired as ever, though especially by me right now (I'd know that tone in his broken voice anywhere. That tone is alllllll my fault. And I'm honoured), Wheezy gestures to the bartender fetching me Y/N's drink. "I could use a drink, too."

"Don't worry Y/N," I nudge her with my elbow, settling in close to her, and give a wink. "I will be the designated driver for us. Feel free to drink all the booze you like~ "

Wheezy taps the bar. "Make that two, will ya? 'Nd put it on his tab."

~

2 hours later, Y/N's completely drunk and Wheezy may have dragged her bar stool ever-so-subtly further from me and closer to him, but I am the one with all of her attention. I have her exactly~ where I want her.

I just need to get rid of el fumador, somehow, then-

"YOU," That voice is unmistakably familiar, and I immediately go stiff as a plank. "GODDAMN MORONS."

Oh, infierno. This is not good.

Y/N's eyebrow raises, turning in her seat and almost slipping off of it- if it weren't for Wheezy jumping forward and steadying her. I'm busy stringing a good excuse together in my head... but nothing is coming to me... "Is that Smartass?"

"Yep, looks like the jigs up," Wheezy tells her, turning to me meaningfully. He knows she won't remember anything he says, now. "Eh, Greasy?"

I dont say a word, avoiding his eye. I'm still desperately raking my brain for a good excuse-

"The- the jig?? What- "

They sell red vines in here?? I just stepped in to go to the bathroom?? I needed a glass of water?? No, no, no-

"Eh, don't worry about it doll. How about we get you a cab and send ya home? Where are yer shoes?"

By the time Smartass reaches us Wheezy has helped Y/N to get herself together (His arm around her waist to keep her from tripping and her shoes in his other hand), my chances with her tonight are successfully diminished, he's ready to take her to the door, and I've still got nothing. Smartass looks sharply at him, and he gives a solemn shake of his head. "I got nothin' after all that. Talk to lover boy."

As Wheezy takes Y/N away, Smartass slowly does turn to 'lover boy', me; A very violent look in his eyes, and I hold up a finger. As if to 'pause' him.

... Absolutely no excuse has come to mind. My head is completely blank. Smooth, in fact, like a leaf. And that look in the bosses eye is making my bladder feel weak. "... I plead the fifth- "

"YOU PLEA- You're gonna plead for the use of your legs back when I'm done with ya!! Get in the van. Get- Go- I'm not gonna tell ya twice!"

#sorry if theirs lotsa typos! i'm writing on my phone #Wheezy Weasel x Reader x Greasy Weasel Drabble #Wheezy Weasel x Reader #Greasy Weasel x Reader #Wheezy Weasel x Reader Drabble #Greasy Weasel x Reader Drabble #Greasy Weasel #Wheezy Weasel #Smartass Weasel #Stupid Weasel #Psycho Weasel

[asukaskerian]

monthly word count - february

TOTAL: 6 014 ... eh. to be fair i spent a lot of time being depressed this month. :X turns out unstructured vacation time is bad for my mental health! POSTED: none of this month's writing! BUT. Also posted!!! -Pack fuckening ABO chapter FIVE canse the chapter got so big i had to cut it in two (you guys are gonna laugh, i'm planning to rewrite the tiny little epiloguey bit and i might have to post it separately as well. whoops.) IN PROGRESS -Bleach: pack fuckening ABO (3 311 words) -Naruto: cherry wine - madatobiizu ABO (438 words) -Bleach: suburban OT4 (903 words) -Bleach: psychic wolves (1 362 words) yes indeed i did start writing the psychic wolves for lupercalia and then BAM writer's block and the day passed me by. bluh. also i added like two words to bloodsport but i ain't counting those. no teaser for pack fuckening since ideally it'll be posted soon! and a pretty small one for cherry wine because otherwise i’d be posting all of it.

-- cherry wine :/ -- "Did he say anything to you?" Izuna asked. The genjutsu had showed them moving lips, but the sharingan didn't record sounds; any impression of noise transmitted came from the imperfect kind of memory. Adrenaline made it hard to concentrate as well on accurate understanding. "Something about... Making the lesson stick this time," Naohime replied, eyes lowered, tone subdued. "That he would teach me respect, since Madara-sama couldn't be bothered." A reference to the clash in front of the daimyo's brother. Clear establishment of motive. Tobirama finding her punishment too lenient, or even suspecting it to be entirely absent, so taking it upon himself to take care of it. "Hm." Izuna leaned back, crossing his arms, eyebrows knit in thought. It made him look displeased enough that Naohime flinched, a bare hint of movement but from her significant enough. "Anything else? No? Then..." His eyes glided past Daichi, the brat tense and staring, vibrating with the desire to come closer, landed on Higashi. "Hey, card-cheater." "Aw, Izuna-sama." "Settle her down." Izuna made the hand signal for alone-isolated-stranded, but turned inwards instead of out as the gesture went when picking out an easy target, hinting... Ah. Not alone, alone, but without-littermates alone, and the hint of movement toward Izuna's own waist inviting Higashi to compensate for that somehow. Madara considered the variation on the established sign absently, head tilted. Should they create a 'this ally needs comfort' sign...? Hm. One would probably emerge on its own. Battle-sign was fluid enough... The other Uchiha keeping their distances, Madara and his littermate went drifting down the secured corridor, eyes scanning the varnished wood for telling scuff marks. -- suburban OT4, nel attempting to get grimmjow to sext -- Goat: okay, picture this. nineteen, five months pregnant, sleeping under a bridge. Me: alone? Goat: don't interrupt me. Me: who knocked you up Goat: idk some jerk Me: hn Goat: grimmjow. >:( Me: yeah fine ok. sleeping under a bridge. Goat: suddenly, guy in a limo. Me: suspension of disbelief crashed Goat: fuckin pick it up then! Guy. In a LIMO. Goat: by the way it's also raining copiously and my tattered t-shirt is sticking to me like cling wrap. Me: ...... ok how much thought did you put into this Goat: ANYWAY guy brings me to his manor (shut up. Yes the manor is essential and also their bed is like the size of two parking spots.) Goat: hot bath with bubbles, five courses dinner, etc etc etc. then comes the time to pay my rent with my body, BUT! Goat: intimidated, i believe he will then ravish me!! Me: and then you wonder why women take ten centuries to nut. If you gotta rewrite war and peace first Goat: shuuuut the frickfrack up Goat: it turns out! I am not for him! His beloved wife is in a tender condition (swooning, possibly also pregnant) and he, too vigorous and virile, etc etc Goat: just saying, i would go down like the titanic. Me: uh huh Goat: very grateful and also very seduced etc etc, him looming sternly to ensure i do it right, her overwhelmed, never knew the touch of a woman, yadda yadda Me: i'm still stuck on how SOME GUY got you pregnant and fucked off Goat: OKAY FINE there's this sexy bad boy who knocked me up, condom broke, i didn't tell him BUT he finds out, comes to find me just in time to see the limo take me away! Goat: climbs the wall to rescue me from my lascivious captor Me: if i gotta keep dictionary.com open for this Goat: >:////

-- grimmichi psychic wolves -- "Okay, when you said 'I know where we can hide,' I'm gonna be honest, I didn't think you meant a love hotel." Studiously avoiding looking too closely at the wall of dildos, Ichigo took a cautious step away from the door he had just locked behind them, and re-locked to be sure. Further into the room Shiro padded cautiously along the walls, throwing disgruntled commentary about the nose-burning smells of cleaning chemicals and the stink of human upon human and all their sweat and sex. As love hotel rooms went, this one was pretty tame. Sleek black fixtures and spooky purple lights that illuminated jack shit, a huge bed, and behind a glass wall (to keep from getting the bed drenched, he assumed) an entirely transparent bathtub under what seemed a surgical suite's worth of floodlights. Also each dildo had its little spotlight inside its little glass case like they were a rock collector's exhibit but he wasn't gonna -- "You take one out and we're gonna get billed for it," he warned, ears burning, as Grimmjow poked at a two-tipped monstrosity. Grimmjow only hummed vaguely and went back to the crate they'd somehow managed to smuggle inside. "How did you even know about love hotels anyway?" "You kidding?" the other man replied absently as he fit his fingers in a gap between the crate and its lid. "That's the only part of your culture that stayed even a little bit interesting, after Aizen and Tousen killed the samurai shit with their fuckin' pontificating." Ichigo scowled. Didn't find anything to reply, though. After what had happened to him on its soil, Grimmjow was entitled to dislike Japan. "Not that we were allowed to visit anything anyway... C'mere, hold this open." Ichigo went to hold up the lid. Inside, Pantera lay unmoving, a puddle of inky fur; didn't stir when Grimmjow bent over the edge of the crate to press his hand against her flank. He didn't say anything. Ichigo tried not to stare too obviously as he tried to read Grimmjow's face, tried to find worry or relief or anything at all. The pack bond between them had gone placid and flat like the surface of a deceptively slow river -- all sorts of things moving underneath and none of them for him to see. They'd abandoned the truck and the man had gone into commando mode, or Ichigo assumed -- swift decisions, swift movements that ended up feeling choreographed in advance for how seamless they were. Grimmjow had stopped them on a dock and swiped an unattended dolly like he'd had every right to make off with it, swiped a crate the same way -- tipped his wolf into it from the lip of the truck and off they went to steal someone else's flatbed truck, someone's jacket off the back of a café chair, someone's wallet out of their back pocket. Ichigo had trailed after him like a lump and tried not to look too spooked.

#teaser

[candyn-gutz]

asmo is. annoyingly endearing in nightbringer. he calls you 'hon' all the time and in this fucken text i just read thru he calls the mc 'muffin' like stop that asmo. im weak 2 pet names. gdi

he is so evil for that bc me too. i fold so quickly whenever someone uses a pet name on me. like full on SWOONING

#asmoofodkndksjdkb #i am not NORMAL ABOUT HIM AT ALL YOU DONT EVEN KNOW. #god i want to chomp on him #asks #btw. banger song.

[subskz]

now missus rin,,, don’t think i aint see that yr actually a sick and twisted individual tryna make me fall in love with lee know fr 🤨

YR NEW REPOST,,, GOT ME ACTING SAUR UNWISE LEEKNOWUSSY POPS SEVERELY 🫣🫣 the way you make him so mf annoyingly sexy is fucken scrumptious 10/10 makes me desire him carnally but ALSO THE WAY HE WAS ALL SHY BCUZ HE WAS NERVOUS?!?! SOBBING ACTUALLY

been having withdrawal symptoms for yr writing since november so you KNOWWW this hit like a mf truck thx for my life queen 🫶🏽 ily saur moch

HUH??? i’m innocent!!! 😰 lest we forget you were swooning over lino even in my absence…face it babe he’s betwitched you all on his own it has nothing to do w me!

LEEKNOWUSSY…ENOUGH 😭😭 thank you so much i’m so glad you enjoyed reading it! annoyingly sexy is exactly how i hope to depict him so i’m very honored you think so…he is both the bane of our existence n the love of our life -_-;

it never fails to make me smile when you share your thoughts like this i can’t tell you how grateful i am for your endless support (and your endless patience hehe) i love you right back dearest MWAH! 💖

#ask #grindset #💌

[solardick]

Uh. The Vatican has its own country of 500 people.

India 1,4 billion. China 1.4 billion. Canada. 38 million.

So what came first, the chiken or the egg? It’s so odd. Create the image, influences then come to being. … how does that work?… at any rate, the card works. Works as a powerful transmuted christian image. Helpd to pull the carnivorous nature of reptiles, dinosaurs and monsters into a positive momentum. Bearing semblance to magestic creators. Fear in knowing the dangers of its rebuke. If thats not too harsh of a word. Not knowing the still pressence of what should be radiating light. Warm rays of sunshine on a cool departure. Intimidation. Engagement is perplexing.

This card placed ontop of the deck. Centerd between the two 5’s of ten. The pope raising its hand. Two fingers to the sun. Pointing up about to infinity. Save that it can replace the pope card. Breaking out a barrier. balancing the equation between sexes.

Adds definition to strength as harmony. Clashes horrendously with waites magician. Belittling the serpent as a belt to hold up his pants with. Is that its purpose? Well people back then were fucked. Thats the generation that started ww 1 and 2….

It becomes the center card of the deck layout. And the pope card doesnt lose any signicance as it is p’aced above on a spot on high. A throne. Which he is clear’y occupying.

Anyway the two infinity cards from the tarot become the parents to the serpent. Showing the emperor’s holy lineage. Ideally the devil card 15 from tarot modified to the likness of the serpent shows from what the empress is descended from.

Connected to my personalize oO death card numbering 15 connects it again to the sex. Symbolizing that wanting inrush of potency towards the creation of kin. Or to what id expect it to be in reality. Those glowing red cheeks. Mmmnn. Theres nothing more beautiful.

So i was watching some gay porn just the other day and, i felt bad for the bitch. Poor guy. So i went and jerked off to a hot russian getting banged in a sports bar toilet stall.

Well think im just going to start smoking whole cigarettes now and stop ripping them in half, so the girl has less reason to swoon over me. Hate being psychic like that. Since her nature is like that. She locks on to a small detail of something that isnt up to standard or whatever and goes obsessive. Seek and destroy based on her own delusional egotistic set. But. Everything i do is wrong and over agrandized. Its like they all pretend to be my mother. While others do the same. Its on’y a problem if its coming from me. Hows its always been. Time to eeupt. Hurt me some more. Whole other around do worse. Yup. Thats life.

Oh no i no i daid atupid. Time to start freaking the fuck out in bits of over energized destruction! « Hey mom can we” ehat! I said can we…? What?! I said can we? Ehat?! I dont understand you! Blag blah blah. Ok start beating in my face. Sorry i suggested soemthig helpful and posiitve. Oh well, guessnom never talking to you again even ifbit was a life of seath situation. You would listen anyway. Just beat on me some more. While playing to good christian. To all the girls and boys. Fuck off.

Not allowed to escape that reality by the maneuverings of other people. Im here for the sole purpose of being fucked. Laways was. There is no such thing as justice in life. Only punishment. Theres bothign to learn in life except not to try. “Shouldn’t we try to fix this family? Maybe go see a family therapist?” Oh yeah right. No one else cares. You wouldnt even send me to thearapy to save my life. Why did i try?

Your all fucken dead to me. The only differenve i dont go out of my way to fuck your lives. And gere i am 39 years later still being raped by existance. Its all its ever been. Nothing to learn. No wag to grow. Just the same bs from others. The way its alway been. I do t want to be alive anymore. All life does is fuck with me by criminal minds. Unyilnyou lose your sanity and then get fucked some more vause theres actually a good excuse this time. Hahahahahha the world Always sides with evil. There’s noyhing in life for me and theres nothing to do. Dint really have much choice in the matter, being abused into suicide.

While i spend my days serounded by the corrupt, the criminal, the degenerates, the effeminate, the violent and the brains washed gay’s. God forbid if i rather not spend soemtime with members the opposite sex or the proactive masculine.

Now excuse i have to go get high for breakfast and waste the day. Its ok. Im used to it. 25 years and counting. And excuse me if i have flair ups soemtimes. Its alot of pressure. While i wait for yhe first aid training and possibly the organization of health and saftey. After all i may need to save your fucken lives one day. Yay!

A wise serpent without a dove isn’t very gentel now is it?

What?! Sorry i capuld hear you you spoke at the same time as the crows. All i heard was “Caw! Caw! Caw!” Oh, we’re going to be partnering up? Awh…… no. Considering you’re relying on a drug dealer to drive you home everyday. And thats the guy i get paired with. Well either that of the “dipshit” as everyone calls them. Talking about gays and dildos, and sagitarian rape court case and a pimp civic under various trafgic violations whom doesnt take working seriously? Uhm. The gay guy, the criminal, or the combination of the two? Uhm, well, i lose. While i get sexually harassed by a “22” year old whith a similar sounding name as the lygbbq organization that continued suggestion i was a cocksucker after i repeatedly asked her to stop. Durring 2022… ok. Sure why not. What door number is that. The exit door number 22? What is that the fireextinguisher convineently olaced next to the males washroom? Exinguisher number what? 22? What? My ninimum credit payment is what? 22? At the same time as they pulled this shit? Ok.

Am i supposed to learn somethign here? Or is my spyche getting drastically raped by evil? What card is number 22? Nothing by the tarot. Maybe the fool. Maybe the world card. Maybe that magically missing number 22. In the typewritter its thr star card. A naked woman pooring out the spirit. The bestowment of a hope to meet the dream. Passivity to the reception from the collective.

Im not allowed to have a life free from captivity and malicious influences. Why try? I literally don’t know anything else. They’r eproba ly just framing me up to spend the second half of my life in prison.

Om now the small buzz in bottoming and i think my coffe is wearing out. Think i beed to go take a nap.

If one used the wheel. Thinking astrologically. As the twelve seasons. Then thr minor arcana would all occupy a quarter season. The four A-1’s place in the center of the circle facing out. On yhe wheel. One is traveling up. While the current is pulling down faster then one can move. Is consistent the lunar/solar cross sections with that of a serpent. While one swims agaisnt the current, one will only slow the final destination. Until one circles around the circle to the last quarter of fears and dreads, now helplessly trying to swim away from it. Creating this complex based upon repression of lies and delusions as the explanation. To the coming fate. I hate astrology. A fear. And the will to not accept whats (not really) inevitable. Give in to the lie. For when one passes that descendant point the half way. One tries to swim for that balance. Towards the 6th card of the lovers. But, its a lost cause. While one is helplessly being pulled away from it.

… the right side of the circle is comprised of the wands to swords. The left side coins to cups. The angles are A’s and each zodiac house is assigned three cards. The semi-square angle holds a conflict card. The left side of the circle is the individual. Number one. He is surrounded by life affirming cards and accomplishments hard work and discipline. And the bounty of a happy home life is where it ends. One can rise to career or descend to the self and family. Resources ideals, dreams accomplished. On the right side of the chart is all the bad. A relationship to bs. Starts with a desire to leave home. See the world have fun with friends. And where one has to pay the penalty for being alive. It’s pretty depressing. As all things tarot. Which is here shown by the split natures of white and black both cancer and Capricorn share.

Maybe since there’s already an arian plan in opperation all future arians are forced down and oppressed from any divergence. Which isnt set and bound for them to attend. Mostly its just a trophy. Good’lad heres a loolly pop. There’s only death and sorrow if you go any further. Better save it for the militant going on and beyond the capricorn point. To death and war.

So when doing a reading with the minor. Its best to see where in the zodiac it is placed and see what planets are aspecting those degrees. The self then has an added layer of information that isnt neccesarly allocated to “fate”. One then takes the major arcana and plug in the proper card to the appropriete number based on cyclic repetition. Thats what a circle is. The only problem here is that circles are only found in nature in the form of pulses. A ripple in water. The ring of a tree. Its never singular. Beyond that of the sun and the moon. Or a bubble. Circles are never still. Always in motion. Growing outward until it fades. Relying on that drop in its center.

Now the minor arcana is paired to a planet and to a major arcana. Precision grows more clear. Complexity adds reaction. And the star card always fallows the threat, and violence. Which may lead into a world of metal illnesses. As the child tries to distract it’s attention into something else, for the violence goes counter to its well being. Creating a world of delusions and retractions from the world. Adopting a passivity to action. And further reception to something more pleasing. It being a dream. These conditioned dreams based from the collective reception of information, all gets poured into the same cup. There’s no segregation, no separation. One becomes what it is being fed. A desire to do good. And a motivation to be receptive. Like i said. Theres nothign to learn in life. There’s just punishment. Fromoutsode violebce while it being twisted as an echo to be villainized by. Where the origin of the destructive acts take a place of innocence. On and on. From time memorial. Do now the next moon card comes in and the one is screaming at the world. Causing a ruckus. Howling at the moon. To be futher punished by the “good”. Or to praying to god for salvation, or getting shitfaced drunk or using other intoxicants. Which are made abundant and always is easy reach. From time memorial. Cant even be int he seclusion of solitude. Without it. Sorry mom i’m smoking my brothers pot i found hidden behind my poster. In the same room im forces to share with him. Eith this dominant pluto opposition aspect. Fun fun. And well the world as shown me profusly that im just a bitch. Nothigs changed.

What i got an attitude problem needing correction?! No thats ok. Ill a nother beating after they just jumpednon my face. Ok. Sire why not.

Hey! Ho. Stop tellign at your daughter! Your other one detaching from reality right noe becaus eof it. No! I font want to sleep woth you. You have a boyfriend. Fuck off. Stop insisting.

God dames women stop being sexually suggestive! Im trying to socialize jesus! If i wanted to see you naked id just go watch some poor they’re way hotter than you. And if that was the case. I aint no single stand. Cant sleep eoth you even if i wanted to if i don’tt know what im dicking. Kind of hard to enjoy. Maybe the lesson here , Is that i should. Hey stranger. You got a pretty mouth. Wanna fuck? Why you making it sexual for. Now im turned off.

It’s fun to play with power words like this.

God

The son the father and the Holy Ghost.

Draw out the chariot! Move!

Careful what you eat.

-I expect there to be a top qualité Asian movie involving a dove and a dragon coming out. Hopefully it won’t be toO fif.

And thé on l’y appropriate letter to assign to infinity is temperance. Letter R. Not of it directly. But as the minusculed r. Becoming EFr. But this is a new area for me. So I don’ know. The minuscule R serves quite well as temperance’s white dove wings.

DEF as mother, son and father. As the 0-5 card speaks for itself. Def., equals absolute. A definite act. From nothign. O. If one extends on this the holy ghost as the emperors foundation is balances by the empresses dragon/devil card.

As E moves into F. F moves into the equalavent of a capitalized minuscule sembling letter r. Above and beyond that, one finds a straight line. Resembling the capital i as the sun and the minusculed L of the hermit. Or as the number 1 and another journey.

I cleaned her up, coloured her in and her prettier her’d up while, she did the laundry. 14-18

Though it becomes curious when one stops and writes. BRP and again it shows symbolism in motion.

- Doesn't this card just say R. The mirrored angle for the water is neat.

Chicken and the egg and all that. Temperance. On the study of letters.

#tarot #qwerty #tarotblr

[pers-books]

Thank all the gods for Jemma 'Why be normal and sit in a chair when I can be gay and perch my pert arse on a desk' Redgrave is all I'm saying!

[ID A series of eight screencaps of Jemma Redgrave in a red dress perching on the corner of a desk and having a cigarette. Caps from The Beekeeper.]

[Screencap Source]

#Girl please! #I fucken swoon #Rude Redgrave Rude! #Hot diggity damn ma'am! #Goddammit Jemma! #How very dare you? #Jemma Redgrave #CW: Smoking #Film: The Beekeeper

[softer-ua]

I can not stop thinking about what Dekus reaction to Bakugos name will be

Oh and Bakugos reaction to Dekus reaction of course

#my hero academia #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha bakugo katsuki #bakugou katsuki #kacchan #deku #izuku midoriya #decchan #bakudeku #dekubaku #deku x kacchan #he’s probably gonna swoon #and it’ll be so cute 🥺💕 #but if he laughs I could die happy 😂 #get fucken wreck Blasty lmao #or maybe Bakugo will hear Deku address him by his hero name wig out #Dekus literally never calls him anything else #sometimes he doesn’t even use pronouns just an excessive use of Kacchan

[azzther]

She did tell me to stop dying huh

(okay that was so fuckin adorable i sWOON)

And then right after that I-

#wifey angy #she's literally my ideal wife #cute but brave #im #in love #stardew valley #pardon im swooning here #I've lost 3 nights bc i cant stop playing Stardew #seriously #i love this game so fucken much

[redxriiot]

Every time I hear him speak, my heart goes dokis

#//THAT'S KIRI'S OFFICIAL VOICE IN SPANISH #//I also swoon over fuckin' All Might's voice bc YES #//No; I will not shut up about them #//Not EVER #;mun has spoken #//I love this dub so fuckin' much #//Wish they'd have it for the whole series and Heroes Rising #//But I'm satisfied just with this #//Kiri is so PRECIOUS in this dub #//I will wear the fuck out of Heroes Rising once it gets dubbed kjzdbf #//Soon as it's in Spanish; I;m watching that shit; DAILY; no kidding #//I LOVE that in Spanish instead of asking to be freed from the wall; he's scared he's gonna die sjkfbsdf #//Such a fucken cutie #//In Spanish; instead of telling Bakugou 'don't worry about it' regards to the guy thanking him #//Kiri teases him about worrying about him

[wheatleys-abinch]

Chell is strong and she could feckin bench Wheatley what a woman

#chell #portal 2 #portal #the wheat boy #wheatley #chelley #kick ass lady #makin him swoon damn it #(sorry i havent posted in a while #been crazy) #i love women who could fucken toss me #like hot damn #stronge women are my weakness

[flintmybeloved]

me-from-like-two-months-ago would not BELIEVE what has happened over the last weeks, holy shit

I’ve been thirsty for this dude for like, at least half a damn year but it was never serious and then bAM it was SUPER serious and SUPER scary and sad but then it turned SUPER GREAT??????? WHAT THE FUCKKKKK????

I cannot wait to see him again tomorrow holy shittttttttt

#OOOOH my GOOOD he's so beautiful how am i supposed to ever get over this #I had to be at a uni thing at 9:30 and I was there at 10 because I kept getting distracted by his sweet little face #how am i supposed to resist a cute dude w pajamas and no glasses and bed hair #the answer is i don't. it is impossiburu #i swoon so much lmao #but like..... HE'S SO CUTE #i keep saying cute but he's also just super fucken hot #like that was literally what i called him for a solid year or so #'aye i saw hot guy' #i did not find him cute at all #i even thought he wasn't my type #but he was sO hOT #like he still is but boy..... is he CUTE #if only y'all could see him :") #how does one survive a crush without seeing them 24/7 #this is so hard