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jemmo · 3 months

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Making sense of love for love's sake: the game

Despite all the things i absolutely adore about how the plot unravels and expands in love by love's sake, upon first watch, there's some things i couldn't piece together, which @lurkingshan echoes in their post:

'The way the author was messing with Myungha and forcing cruel choices on him really does not track with a desire to help him find happiness.'

And to preface, this is not something i fully get yet either. I think i'll need a good month and a sizeable reading list of relevant resources to understand just what/who this author/sunbae is and what his role is and how he is associated with myungha. But as always with the best shows for meta (aka bad buddy), as a plot unfolds, you can always find a better understanding by looking backwards and re-contextualising what you've already seen. so i watched ep 1, specifically the scene between myungha and his sunbae at the bar. And i will talk about how everything said in this scene has a whole new meaning now we know the full story, but for now i wanna focus on that question that they keep coming back to; "Then... will you change it for him?".

When you watch the show for the first time, your brain follows the simplest, most obvious version of the story you're being told, one where myungha has been pulled into the world of his sunbae's novel that's being turned into a game and given the opportunity to fix the thing he didn't like about it; making yeowoon happy, and thus you just think the rules of the game are imposed by the author, and so when these cruel choices first come up, you see them as the difficult roadblocks that are nevertheless necessary to any kind of game, forcing the player to make an impossible choice so that the game can continue in a certain direction and its only after that you learn whether it was the right choice or not, or there is no right choice, it simply changes the game you are playing.

And when its revealed what this game actually is, at first i tried to interpret these cruel choices, namely the choice between yeonwoon and myungha's grandma, and at best i could come up with the concept of this being a choice between staying stuck to the past aka choosing his grandma, even though he knows that choice doesn't mean she's safe bc he knows the future where he loses here, its an inevitability, but thats the small happiness he knew before it was taken away and thus that happiness is known and safe, theres no risk, versus choosing to pursue a new happiness, a love of yeowoon and thus himself, which he doesn't know, he hasn't experienced yet, and could be risky. Its a happiness that isn't guaranteed like his grandma, but its a happiness that looks to the future and has hope in it that he can find a new happiness to pursue despite what has happened in his past.

And that fits nice, okayish. But then i watched ep 1 and heard that question "Then... will you change it for him?" And watching through the rest of the eps, we come back to this scene at the bar and each time we get a new run up to the author asking this question, either new dialogue is added or we hear a different piece of the conversation entirely. It starts at the beginning of ep 1 as:

"Because Cha Yeowoon is the only one who's miserable." "It can't be helped that some people's lives are like that" "The fact that some people are destined to live that kind of life is what's vile."

Then a bit later in ep 1 we go back and its expanded.

"It can't be helped that some people's lives are like that" "The fact that some people are destined to live that kind of life is what's vile." "Why? Do you think you'd write it differently?" "Yes, definately. Someone like Cha Yeowoon, or someone like me with an awful life, can also be happy."

And then all the way on in ep 6, we get this new dialogue.

"I don't like talking about destiny." "Why?" "Because it means everything is predestined." "Then do you not believe in fate?" "Fate and destiny are the same. My grandma likes to say that. She said life is like a written book, and how you'll live and die are written in it. (...)I don't like things like this. Even if fate is already destined, I think it can still be changed. Otherwise, there's no point in trying." "Really? Then Myungha..."

And while we don't hear the author ask the same question, I feel like him getting cut off like that insinuates that the conversation leads to that same ending point. All that is to say, every time we hear this question being asked, its like we learn more and more about what this whole thing is, what the game is, what myungha is saying he will do by agreeing to do what the author asks. And every time, we see myungha being more defiant against the idea of yeowoon being resigned to his miserable ending. He starts off thinking that kind of life is destined, and while it's miserable, its not something he can fight. Then he says he'd want to write the story differently, bc yeowoon, or even him, could be happy. He challenges the idea that yeowoon, and thus himself, is fated to be miserable, and opens up the possibility for happiness for them both, but doesn't yet have the means or resolve to do it, its like he knows its possible on a fundamental level, but doesn't see it as something he can actually achieve. But then we circle back to the idea of destiny and books, both of which came up in the previous quote, and seems incredibly pertinent seen as this whole thing is about a novel this author has written. Myungha talks about how he hates the idea that life is a book where everything written is predestined to happen, from the moment you live to the moment you die. He says "Even if fate is already destined, I think it can still be changed. Otherwise, there's no point in trying." That vile way of life he described before that he said was destined, he is now saying it can be changed, and that possibility is now something he's holding onto, its what he sees hope in so that he can keep trying, bc now he finally is trying, he has the resolve, he's trying to realise this thing, this impossibility of rewriting the life he thought was destined through the way he loves yeowoon.

And coming back to those cruel choices, given this fresh context, it made me think. bc this isn't actually a game that myungha has been put into where the rules are dictated by an author completely separate from him. He said himself, he'd rewrite it, he'd change things for yeowoon. And when you start to think of it less as him fighting against a rigid, removed system and more like him being a character in a story he is trying to rewrite himself, that has both the author and his own limitations, or just his own if you're in the school of thought that the author is some figment or part of myungha himself or his conciousness, then you can start to see where these cruel choices might come from. They could be myungha, the author making edits to this new story, imposing his own doubts and limitations on himself. When he says he has to pick between Yeowoon and his grandma, what if that's the new author myungha seeing this story unfold and thinking no this isn't right, he can't have it all, i'm not deserving of this much happiness.

And what makes me like this idea even more is that when we get that second choice between ending after 14 days or getting 100 days back at the cost of resetting Yeowoon's affection to 0, that whole conversation happens in what I think the bar actually is which is this frozen moment in time where myungha is in the water with this extension of a voice in his head that is talking through these things. That conversation in itself needs its own post, but when you look at it both as a decision to break up or not or a decision to hold onto life or not, you can see how the author is just this soundboard relaying the decisions myungha is going through in his head. The author's voice is his own, weighing up his decisions. And if he is the author here, it only reinforces that the person making the rules of this game is him. You can even extend it further to the idea of the debuffs, where he puts in place this thing that makes it so he causes harm to yeowoon when he's around, and its only by garnering affection that he can prevent it. He gives himself a reason from the get go to stay away from yeowoon and reason it as him doing it for yeowoon's safety, when in fact the only way to make yeowoon safe is to increase his affection, which he can only do by being near him. Its a system that at first gives myungha a reason to stay away aka not like himself, but ultimately says the only way you're going to make yeowoon like you, or the only way you can like yourself, is if you accept risk. And that in itself screams to me of a myungha writing in these game systems that are trying to encourage his own-self love while falling at the hurdle of his own lack of self-worth.

The idea is still messy in my head even for me, but i just really like the idea that myungha could be trying to fix this thing both as a character and game master, and that both these versions of him have these flaws that manifest in their different ways to cause the events we see. It kinda is the definition of being your own worst enemy, the idea that in order to work towards loving yourself, the biggest obstacle you have to encounter is yourself, bc we are the ones holding ourselves back, making all these rules that make it harder to like ourselves and pursue our own happiness. The voices in our head telling us that we aren't good enough and aren't deserving are our own, and while the things that happen to us can inform what they say, we're the one's reinforcing those words. And what this show teaches us is that, if we're the one holding that pen all along, we can choose to change what those words are. If we make the rules, you don't have to create a game with concrete ultimatums, you can create a game where rules don't control you. Instead, you make the decisions, and you can make the ones that make you happy.

#wow look at me writing actual kinda thought out meta #also something something about how the pen being in his pocket wasnt a pen given to him by the author its a pen that was his the whole time #look even if this isnt the right interpretation as intended by the author i just kinda adore this headcanon ive come up with and i cant wai #to rewatch the show again through this lens and see if it holds up #i just adore the idea of this whole thing being this manifestation of a flawed doubtful person trying to navigate through their own messy #nonsensical thoughts to find their own happiness #bc yes thats what triggered me thinking of this whole thing. me seeing that post and thinking yeah that doesnt make sense7 #but then again when you tell yourself things an put your own mental blocks in the way they dont make sense either but you still have to fin #the ways to work around them in order to find happiness #like those things dont go away we just find the loopholes or the ways to overcome them that mean we can be happy #the game is your own mind - deal with your own existential crisis as you wish #anyway this is only part 1 in what i hope will be a very extensive meta analysis of this show - stay tuned #love for love's sake

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pieflavoredartz · 2 years

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CSM EDITS !! i dont watch the show meself but i wanted to make these for some of the ppl who do so ENJOY HOMIES ‼️‼️ :]

#AIGHT AIGHT #csm #chainsaw man #chainsaw man edit #chainsaw man denji #chainsaw man power #chainsawman pochita #HE GOT THEM CURLS TOO 🗣🗣🗣#that wasnt intended i just wanted to make the doggy fluffy but ppl kept sayin i made pochita black too 😭😭#chainsaw man aki #blacktober #*busts thru da door* BUT ACTUALLY :D #black edit #edit #but i hope yall like this!!#kirabossss likers im sooo so so sorry ill feed yall on halloweenie I SWEAR‼️‼️😭#call me back

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mueritos · 8 months

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its my bday today so heres a new meet the artist :3

#muertodraws #finished my first day of grad school #i would have enjoyed it more if this fuck ass heat wave wasnt happening #but it wasnt too bad im excited to get to workin #also this mta is the first one where i felt like i didnt have to try hard #im allowing myself to exist as i am #and it feels nice #that includes the questioning of autism #aka i am probably autistic #i just struggle with gaslighting myself #but im learnig that autistic coping skills really work for me #like stimming and paying attention to my sensory and social needs #so that has been interesting #anyway #i am super tired but kind of hopeful :)#so thats nice #trans artist #queer artist #meet the artist

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skitskatdacat63 · 7 months

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Fernando Chair Lore: 2013 edition(no lore, just pics haha):

#100% normal not derangement post what are you talking about!!!#you guys: 'wow she really likes this chair huh....'#itll all come full circle i swear to you #but also just like this is a comp post i really feel passionate abt CAUSE HE LOOKS SO GOOD OKAY #like....theres 30 pics...i cant even BEGIN to comment #so just let me know your fav yknowwwwwwww #or just join me in appreciating these fine photos #i want to be the ferrari photographer who was just lurking in the garage waiting for nando to sit down #anyways 5th one down on the leftmost side...i hope you know what my thoughts about that one are....#these pics have incredible range: brooding...puppy cute...super villian sexy mastermind...#bro is COZYYYY #also these are just from getty. im sure theres more but i wasnt ready to get into alladat. it was a lot already #fernando alonso #f1 #formula one #formula 1 #we do a little bit of f1 #fa14

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haahka · 1 year

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Kinnporsche x textposts pt.3 [more]

#BIG IM SO SORRY #kinnporsche #kinnporsche memes #myedit #its sunday and the lords resting so someones gotta do the work #not sure of the quality this time its like that article i submitted where i felt it was unpublishable #but then my editor sent me an extra email just to say how good it was and i still wasnt convinced #what i mean is. i hope you enjoy 😔✌#kptp:mine #kpts #kp

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amethyst-halo · 7 months

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ok here's a full proper pangolin style goron sheet!! i was inspired by @ezlo-x to try my hand at a new interpretation of gorons and i really like how they came out!!!

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vocalsynthbdays · 3 months

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happy (late) birthday hagane miku(fanloid) and stella(fanloid) !! [jan 18]

(hagane miku)

(stella)

hagane miku is a heavy metal derivative of hatsune miku, introduced in 2008. shes created by Shinichi Tahara/ Hansi. hagane mikus obviously voiced by hatsune miku, and the art im showing is drawn by her creator, hansi. hagane miku is 19yo, and her name means "sound of steel"

stella was a fake vocaloid created by Planty. stella was said to be a private vocaloid who would be used to make an album from which the proceeds would go to a charity called Americans For the Arts. stellas voiced was created through the use of modified cross synthesis(xsy) in v4, which allowed planty to use any xsy compatible v3 or v4 banks in the xsy, when this usually isnt possible. according to the fanloid wikia, stella was introduced on 18 jan 2015, was designed and illustrated by Kemohomogeko, and had her box art designed by Haneoka

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cethvalier · 2 months

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saw lisa frankenstein today and i fear i may have discovered a new personality trait

#this movie was like made FOR ME btw like theres just no way it wasnt cus its everything ive ever wanted #hoping it comes out on digital and streaming soon not to watch it again but to find more pics from the movie on pinterest #i will watch it again though. ive seen songbirds and snakes three times since late december so its lisa frankensteins turn #lisa frankenstein

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sea-buns · 4 months

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Forgive me if I'm a bit nervous about Gorgug this season. It's just that the last Zac Oyama pc was Colin Provolone, who was arguably one of his greatest D20 performances, if not the greatest.

Zac always does great with every pc he plays, but Colin was something else. He came out swinging with actions and words that were teeming with unspoken emotional baggage. The way Colin's presence affected the other pcs; there was this level of depth that I don't think I've seen in any of his other characters. It was understated and quiet in that signature "just a guy" way that he tends to be, while still captivating everyone instantly with just how raw it was.

Not to say we haven't seen emotional depth in Gorgug. It's just that, compared to the other Bad Kids, Gorgug's journey and progression as a character has been very... impersonal? Like, yes, he found his birth parents, and he found friends who appreciate him, and he faced his insecurities about his intelligence, and he navigated relationship troubles, and his trial through the claustrophobic bug-tunnels was a horrifically-uncanny parallel to how he's spent his entire life trying to make himself as small as possible.

But how much of that has actually changed him from the Gorgug we started with? I would agree that he's definitely happier with his life, given all the loving and supportive people that have been added to it when it used to be just him and his parents. And he's certainly grown into himself and become more self-assured in his abilities, even if he's still, and always will be, our anxious little guy. And there's nothing wrong with that. I've always liked how Gorgug was a representation of all the little things. The subtle acts and kindnesses that don't seem like much to most, but to some are everything.

We don't need another Bad Kid living in fear that their mouth could be shit-in at any moment. We've already got one-too-many.

All that being said, I just feel like Gorgug's personal story beats are much easier to sweep under the rug than everyone else's. He has the same soft and understated quality that Colin held, but they lack that extra oomph that pushed Colin over the edge from being just another guy in a series of dudes, to a character that the vast majority of us could not get out of our heads. He took someone who was anxious and softspoken, who ultimately never wanted to be violent— someone who is remarkably similar to Gorgug in many ways— and maintained that demeanor and core in Colin's character while still hitting us in the feels with character development at max velocity at every turn.

I think Zac gets better and better at this with every season that goes by. With each new character, there is always something that leaves me stunned in awe. And it's been, what, three? Four years since we last saw Gorgug?

I'm just,,, I'm cautiously optimistic but also going into a bit of a worry about what violence this man may inflict upon us

#i got SO carried away LMAO #i dont think ive ever written any posts about gorgug specifically #i made a lot about colin. and some about pib. and some more about zacs performances in general.#but never anything gorgug-focused. i just wasnt on tumblr at those other times that hed been on my mind like this #you can tell i still couldnt resist talking about colin lol #he was just so fucking good. a fantastic character all around. i cant imagine a better example to get my point across than him #when i do posts like this its all very much just me taking a vague idea and working with whatever comes out in the moment #so when i tell you i very much did not plan to get lost in the counterargument and had to stop for a second to remember what my point was #my point still stands but so does everything else #you dont realize it. how similar gorgug and colin really are. or how metaphorical the bug tunnel was.#or how gorgug IS the epitome of little details. small acts. quiet rights and wrongs. the faint causes and the even subtler effects.#u dont truly realize it until youre writing it yourself in a free flow fugue state and it all comes to a halt cuz youve blown your own mind #anyway i love gorgug and i love zac pcs and i hope this post makes sense cuz finding the right words was fucking hard hah #dimension 20 #d20 #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #fhjy #fantasy high sophomore year #fhsy #gorgug thistlespring #the ravening war #trw #colin provolone #zac oyama

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bulkhummus · 11 months

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some opinions on the latest arc and episode 230

While there are some things I enjoyed about this new episode and arc, it felt rushed. I hate to be critical of a show I love, but we all know the level of work they're able to produce, and the hype around this arc felt like it deserved more than the effort it seemed to receive. I of course thoroughly enjoyed a bit of background on Carlos (and some of the fun stuff the episode did) but getting over the shock value of this information left me feeling conflicted. I think what it comes down to is two things. The arc was rushed, and the things that have just have naturally progressed did not.

They didn't give any of the hard hitting moments enough planning/time/space to have the impact they could have had. We did not see any of the build up of Carlos becoming fed up with Janet and the University. All of a sudden he was. We did not have time to feel conflicted about Carlos leaving town for an unknown reason. All of a sudden he did (and returned mid episode). Cecil's town, the very thing he exists for, is literally nearly gone and he doesn't give us an ounce of poetry or prose to describe how he's feeling? On his radio show? We're just told that it is. This episode in particular just felt like people talking at me instead of telling me a story. The only moment that I felt held any weight, that moved me as a piece of writing, was the moment the child of the glow cloud outwardly processed their grief that their parent would not be returning and implications about predecessors taking on the role/title of those that died which is very interesting (for Carlos, for Cecil, as a concept in general). I, quite frankly, don't care about what they THINK science and life is. Show me through actions they take that demonstrates it. Show me through action and progression.

It has never been more apparent to me than this episode that they write episode by episode instead of considering the full scope of an arc and what it means for their characters. If you are going to adapt the structure of your show to write a mini arc, you can't approach it the same way. And they KNOW this. Writing episode to episode is a delight when its new stories and one offs and bits and pieces. Writing an arc implies some sort of episode to episode progression of a building plot. They've done it before, beautifully even (Of Love and Horror, Egemony, A Matter of Blood, the Lee Marvin episodes to name just a few) and yet this arc was disjointed and felt flat. I've read their books. I've read other things they've written. They're capable of adapting stories into a more "linear" plot with an unreliable narrator. The writers just didn't give it the time and space needed to develop a story that felt natural.

Which leads me to my next point. Natural progression. I've said before I have never once looked to Night Vale for any sort of continuity (it's a show that defies it which I LOVE) but there is a difference between continuity and being sloppy. It doesn't work when half of your arc seems to be you trying to figure out what the hell you're trying to say. A lot of the major points in this latest episode were directly contradictory. We were introduced with the idea that Carlos was sort of afraid of Janet and by her being there. All of a sudden, with no moment that tips him over the edge shown, he stands up to her because he was arrested? We were introduced to the idea that Carlos was deemed a failure by the university, and yet the scientists were quick to leave Lubelle's side in the end. The town was showing clear disdain for him, and not one character stepped up to offer some delicious conflict and tell Carlos it'd be better if he left? To his face? I don't even want to delve into the handling of Blakes character, because quite frankly, he did nothing for the plot because he was tossed back and forth between writers to do what they wanted him to do in that episode (is he against janet, with her? does he hate Carlos? like Carlos? which is it? its not unreliable narration) The arc was framed by Carlos' time spent at the University, about him becoming a Night Vale citizen in his literal anniversary speech about living ten years in Night Vale, and yet, there was no satisfying exploration (I'm not even asking for direct REASONS) as to why he might have left, why he never went back, or any of his involvement there. Saying it was all about love just... Isn't enough for me. Not when Carlos hasn't interacted with his town to demonstrate that life he's built, or how much its hurting him that they're rejecting him again. Not an ounce of how this has effect he and Cecil's relationship (again, Cecil is a chronic over sharer).

It slowly became less about delving into Carlos as a character and his relationship to this town, and processing perhaps grief from the DOW, and more about the shock value of losing beloved characters with no satisfying consequence or action. And then there was little things, specifically in this episode 230. If Janet announces something and it's framed in a way that it should upset Cecil (her telling him about the DOW) then he should have some sort of response to it. Even one line. Nothing. On HIS radio show. Not even a pause where it's made known that he HEARD her.

The whole arc just felt like it was trying to do much and gave itself a time restraint. They are the writers AND producers. No one is forcing them to stay within an episode limit. Especially not when it was hindering their ability to tell a good story.

And I think that's the kicker for me. It didn't feel like an episode of Night Vale. Sure they've played with format before, but this episode (230) didn't even remember that the show is built around Cecil telling stories. Even the episodes that have played with format/structure in the past have involved Cecil telling a story. Through his perspective. Voice appearances always offered some sort of relief to his bias as an unreliable narrator. There are so many interesting ways to incorporate voices instead of just some weird back and forth between two characters. Frame it as an on air interview where Cecil can't get a word in. Frame it as angry voicemails. Have Carlos tell us he's leaving via voice memo, and Cecil dealing with that ON AIR. Stop explaining what is happening and SHOW Us. You expect me to believe, a show that is so heavily influenced by its narrator time and time again, that Cecil was not angry? Was not heart broken? Was not begging Carlos for answers about anything at all? Annoying need to know everything anxiety riddled Cecil Palmer?

They're good writers. And I don't expect every episode to be like, life changing, but again, with an arc that was so heavily anticipated by everyone for so many years, it feels like a disservice to create a story that feels so thoroughly at odds with itself in tone and direction. I hate to sound so critical because I LOVE Night Vale with my whole heart, you guys know I do, but I can be critical of it when it's merited too. And I will continue loving it despite being critical, but I just wished the writers would slow down and maybe, I don't know, read some of their old episodes. And who knows! Maybe it's not over. Lubelle is not confirmed dead, Carlos having an interest in the DOW still is concerning, his parent was mentioned as some point of interest etc etc etc. Like there's a lot they can still do with it, but they just have to, you know, do it.

#sorry if this got a little rambly its real late by me #I just was really hoping they weren't going to rush the ending of this #and it felt like it WAS and ending #even if it wasnt #I just love Carlos so much #wtnv #welcome to night vale #wtnv spoilers

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